Dec
5

Black People Playing Rugby with Pads Make Jack Cashill Have the Vapors




Posted at 7:24 by Cerberus

They’re now down to taking credit for minorities not actually being the monsters they relentlessly paint them as. I’m not sure there is much further down they can go before they start breaking up into some Madagascan flower beds.

Jack Cashill, American Test Pattern:
How Traditional Values Shape the NFL

It happens quite often in this gig, where you get a wingnut post where you could just stop at the title and already be done.

I mean, “How Traditional Values Shape the NFL”? Do I really even need to follow that up with anything? It already tells you all you need to know about the content to follow. The attempted co-opting of a piece of American culture (and one they didn’t really need to try and co-opt) by fringe psychotics, some extremely poor logical reasoning, some barely restrained racism, and possibly a terrible analogy or two.

I could just go home right now, but I suppose for decorum’s sake, I should at least give you a taste.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • So it turns out after years of comments about how blacks couldn’t play football because they lacked the mental discipline. And then years of comments about how blacks never make good quarterbacks because the quarterback is the “thinking man’s position”. It turns out there are now multiple black quarterbacks who are performing pretty well. So now, we’re going to try and kickstart years of comments about how those blacks who succeed at quarterback are the honorary white “good black people” who go to good white churches and aren’t unrepentant baby molesters like all other black people.

And yet some people still call this man racist. I just don’t get it.

And in case you thought I was joking:

On the long Thanksgiving weekend, five regular starting NFL quarterbacks of at least partial African descent took the field for their respective teams. Beyond their obvious talent, all five share a common background, one that is now rare in the African American community and becoming anomalous in American society writ large: each grew up in a Christian home with a mother and a father. More so than foot speed or even arm strength, this is the variable that elevates them above their peers.

Always trust the motherfucking shorter!


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Remember back when I said that my day job was one of the good ones? Yeah, irony is kicking me repeatedly in the balls for that one. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

132 Comments »

  1. bbkf said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:28

    feck!

  2. bbkf said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:35

    Always trust the motherfucking shorter!

    gah! trust the shorter! trust the shorter!

  3. Magpie said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:36

    Is that you, Father Jack?

  4. Seriously, NOT the Doughy Pantload said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:42

    Jeebus teached ‘em to throw the football?

  5. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:47

    Sweet Tittyfucking Jesus, they sure love to condescend to black people. They are the worst sort of concern trolls.

  6. Seriously, NOT the Doughy Pantload said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:49

    Jets QB Tim Tebow is not the outlier he is made out to be. A disproportionate share of quarterbacks, especially elite quarterbacks, share the background of the five just mentioned.

    Make up your mind. Are you talking “elite quarterbacks” or are you talking about Tebow?

  7. bbkf said,

    December 5, 2012 at 7:58

    Sweet Tittyfucking Jesus, they sure love to condescend to black people. They are the worst sort of concern trolls.

    you should read the comments…they even manage to work abortion in there…now i can’t decide who’s crazier–the minutemen or american stinkers…

  8. bbkf said,

    December 5, 2012 at 8:11

    back in 2009 this is what jack had to say:

    The quarterback position presents a variety of troubling issues. As of this writing, the ten quarterbacks with the highest official ratings are all white. This can only indicate a racial bias in the design of the rating system. Ideally, these ratings should be based on job related criteria and be predictive of success. The fact that the top four rated quarterbacks — and five of the top ten — play for undefeated teams means little. This surely an historical fluke.

    where as now it’s based on who loves jesus the most…

  9. Another Kiwi said,

    December 5, 2012 at 8:43

    Given the impact of faith and family on the NFL, one can imagine how an emphasis on the same could re-shape America. It is too bad the party in power has a perverse disdain for both.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA, it was all about Obama bashing but he couldn’t just write the last two sentences. He had to make up all that other dreck.
    Also emphasis on the same could re-shape America
    You can count me out on that, bub.

  10. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    December 5, 2012 at 11:07

    Isn’t it the NFL that does that whole socialist revenue-sharing thing?
    Not to mention imposing hard salary caps?

    Breaking: JACK CASHILL HATES CAPITALISM.

  11. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 5, 2012 at 11:33

    POOP?

  12. DAS said,

    December 5, 2012 at 13:41

    I notice the dateline indicates the article was written before a certain recent, um, event. I’m sure ol’ Jack would point out that the murder suicide was carried out by someone presumably not a Christian as evidenced by his having had unapproved sexytime and not rubbing our noses in that fact, er, publicly repenting and coming to Jesus. But to say NFL values are American values? As much as I like to play football (I don’t like to watch men’s sports as I would rather do things than watch them … women’s sports on the other hand have women in top physical condition getting sweaty and what hetero guy could pass that up? ;) ), I hope the game, which involves running with the ball and knocking people over, doesn’t represent American values.

    Of course while Cashill may be a condescending prick and religiously bigoted git, the complete idiot is whomever wrote that title.

  13. aimai said,

    December 5, 2012 at 14:08

    Years ago a sociologist/anthropologist studying swimmers discovered that any discipline, followed in a disciplined manner, increases an athelete’s success. Attending Church regularly could be one of those disciplines. Deciding to always touch the wall at the turn, or always be on time to practice, was equally predictive of success. Being able to figure out and comply with the rituals of your new team, as well, factored into making someone who was a “winner” at a lower level team also do better when they were bumped to a higher level team.

    The missing element here is that personal virtue/sexual morality/church itself has nothing to do with success at a team sport. A whole lot of other factors are necessary. Angry, withdrawn, spiteful, solipsistic, loners probably don’t do well even with a ton of atheltic skills unless the entire team can afford to cater to that person on the field and/or the game is set up in such a way that the person only has one function to fulfill (which, by the way, is part of the argument of the movie “The Replacements.” The place kicker has only one job to do and can be as inept and unfocused as he wants up until the moment they need him.)

    So: shorter me. Showing up on time (and not blowing your brains out because you’ve dissapointed daddy by killing your girlfriend) is half the battle.

    aimai

  14. N__B said,

    December 5, 2012 at 14:40

    I’m never going to get the image of Jeebus in a Dallas cheer leading outfit out of my head.

  15. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 5, 2012 at 15:14

    Ron, a former college football star, was running as a conservative Republican in Missouri’s heavily Democratic 5th Congressional District. He won the primary, and although he fell short in the general, he made the best Republican showing in a half-century.

    So, it’s not that they’re Christians, it’s that they’re CONSERVATIVE Christians.

    Although his parents — one black, one white — were not married, his birth mother made a culture-defying decision in 1987: she chose not to have an abortion.

    Wow. You mean, this child was the only one born to unmarried parents in 1987?

    Also, I can’t help but wonder about the values of a man who slags single parents, most of whom are doing the best they can for their children. I’ve seen interviews with some of the black moms of these players, both in professional and college leagues…and they don’t strike me as bunch of no-values-having-welfare-moochers. So I really wish Jack would take his racist/sexist assumptions about single parents and shove them up his ass.

  16. El Manquécito said,

    December 5, 2012 at 15:42

    1987? What about doing a broad spectrum of intoxicants and having multiple girlfriends? Was that a culture defying decision? Can’t remember having any gay abortions but that might have been due to the bs of i.

  17. Major Kong said,

    December 5, 2012 at 15:46

    Also, I can’t help but wonder about the values of a man who slags single parents, most of whom are doing the best they can for their children.

    Pisses me off massively.

    Mrs. Kong became a single parent after running away from her worthless piece of shit first husband when he started hitting her. I think my step-daughters were around 3 years old at the time.

  18. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 5, 2012 at 15:55

    Mrs. Kong became a single parent after running away from her worthless piece of shit first husband when he started hitting her. I think my step-daughters were around 3 years old at the time.

    Are you sure your wife wasn’t just an irresponsible slut?

    Come on. She was a woman, she was a single, she’d had sex. I think according to Republicans that makes her a skanky slut.

  19. Major Kong said,

    December 5, 2012 at 15:58

    Someday I’m going to find that miserable son of a bitch and give him a thank-you note for setting the bar so low for me.

  20. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2012 at 16:05

    Someday I’m going to find that miserable son of a bitch and give him a thank-you note for setting the bar so low for me.

    That’s a cockpunch right? Sure his deep deep failings as a human being resulted in good news for you, but the guy is still a worthy cockpunch recipient, right?

  21. Major Kong said,

    December 5, 2012 at 16:14

    From what I’m told he’s been divorced 3 times, in trouble with the law on drug charges and is currently on welfare and living with his mother somewhere in Vinton County Ohio.

    Sounds to me like he’s cockpunched himself many times over.

  22. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2012 at 16:27

    Sounds to me like he’s cockpunched himself many times over.

    I dunno, three divorces means that at least two women other than Mrs. Kong have had the misfortune to marry the dude. A few more cockpunches to this guy would probably be a benefit to society.

  23. bughunter said,

    December 5, 2012 at 16:50

    Jeebus teached ‘em to throw the football?

    I thought Jeebus played hockey. I keep hearing about what an awesome goalie he is.

  24. Katy Perry's Cameltoe said,

    December 5, 2012 at 16:54

    Hahf! Gef righ gag oghha ri urpf! Hahf!

  25. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 5, 2012 at 17:21

    You’d think after what happened to Rush Limbaugh on ESPN that they’d learn to leave black quarterbacks alone.

    My favorite tidbit:

    Although sportscasters have the unfortunate habit of stressing the presumed physical differences between black and white quarterbacks…

    Um, who exactly would that be?

  26. El Manquécito said,

    December 5, 2012 at 17:27

    I assume he won’t touch real football because, say, George Best or Diego Maradona can’t really be explained by Republican family values.

    The pro American football players I’ve actually known IRL divide pretty evenly between ordinary joes that were really big and fast and demented party animals that were really big and fast. Being really big and fast is prolly more important than your imaginary friend.

  27. Major Kong said,

    December 5, 2012 at 17:37

    We have a pilot who was an offensive tackle in the NFL (Scott Dill). Played for Tampa Bay and Minnesota until his back gave out.

    He’s a seriously large dude.

    I flew with him once on the 727 when I was a flight engineer and he was a First Officer. He had to sit with his seat so far back he was practically in my lap.

  28. N__B said,

    December 5, 2012 at 18:02

    If the rest of that story doesn’t include the words “caress” and “helmet hair” my day will be ruined.

  29. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2012 at 18:05

    LEAFS SUCK Update, Rob Ford has gotten a stay of his eviction from office until his appeal is heard.

  30. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2012 at 18:10

    If the rest of that story doesn’t include the words “caress” and “helmet hair” my day will be ruined.

    At a minimum, butt-slapping.

  31. Major Kong said,

    December 5, 2012 at 18:16

    You’re sick! The whole lot of you! Sick I tell you!

    I knew there was a reason I liked it here.

  32. Gerald Fnord said,

    December 5, 2012 at 18:35

    > at least partial African descent

    The looks like a dog-whistle to people who’d favour a ‘the good our white blood did them’ argument.

  33. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:29

    Um, who exactly would that be?

    Assuming that wasn’t a rhetorical question, Rush Limbaugh. Previous to that Howard Cosell lost his sportscasting gig because of an offensive racist turn of a phrase as well. Dennis Miller lost his gig because he was a smarmy know it all. Which was strange, because that was why they hired him in the first place.

  34. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:31

    Fourth B (Bach, Beethoven, Brahms) Dave Brubeck is dead. Take Five, Mr. Brubeck.*

    *Yes, I know it was a Paul Desmond composition but Brubeck and Desmond can’t be separated.

  35. Whale Chowder said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:36

    Take Five, Mr. Brubeck.

    Makes me wish there were a heaven so that I could imagine him sitting in with Diz and the Duke.

  36. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:36

    Bah. Go watch some real rugby.

  37. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:44

    You mean, this child was the only one born to unmarried parents in 1987?

    It’s true. I don’t exist.

  38. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:44

    So I really wish Jack would take his racist/sexist assumptions about single parents and shove them up his ass.

    Submitted without comment.

  39. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:48

    What the fuck is a juggalo?

  40. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:49

    What the fuck is a juggalo?

    Back away now, while you still can!

  41. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:50

    Ya know, part of me wants to say that a juggalo is a gigolo with manboobs, but that’s actually not far from the truth.

    Fuckin’ juggalos, how do they work?

  42. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:52

    Previous to that Howard Cosell lost his sportscasting gig because of an offensive racist turn of a phrase as well.

    Yeah, IIRC, he referred to a black running back as “a little monkey.”

    That wasn’t actually the most mortifying thing he said on air, IMO. At one point, they had him doing baseball for some reason, and during an All-Star Game, he remarked that someone’s home run had been dedicated beforehand, a la Babe Ruth, to so-and-so, “a dying 12-year-old boy.”

    Except the kid didn’t know that he was dying. He found it out from Cosell.

    If I’d done something like that, I think I’d move to Tierra Del Fuego.

  43. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:53

    Well. Google is is my friend (?)

    Coulda gone my whole life without knowing about juggalos.

  44. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:58

    Juggalo News Network

  45. Whale Chowder said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:02

    It is a well known fact that there are no atheist players in the NFL and that the more you love jeebus, the more success you will have. Tim Tebow is but the tip of the success spear here.

  46. N__B said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:04

    What the fuck is a juggalo?

    Back away now, while you still can!

    Knowledge of juggalos will remove your reverse gear and leave you uncomfortable in neutral.

  47. N__B said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:05

    I believe Lolo Jones stated an interest in the tip of Tebow’s spear. Possibly because he’s a bigger loser than she is.

  48. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:14

    It is a well known fact that there are no atheist players in the NFL and that the more you love jeebus, the more success you will have.

    It’s also a well-known fact that there are no atheist juggalos in the Dark Carnival.

  49. Major Kong said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:24

    Dennis Miller lost his gig because he was a smarmy know it all

    Apparently he knew it all except for anything football. A bit of a handicap for an aspiring sports commentator.

  50. Whale Chowder said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:32

    Apparently he knew it all except for anything football.

    Well, that plus he was an unfunny asshole. Between him and Tony Kornheiser I just about gave up on MNF.

  51. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:36

    Know WHO ELSE grew up in a Christian home with a mother and a father?

  52. Pupienus said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:37

    WHY CAN’T I BUY A NEXUS 7 WITH HSPA? FUCK GOOGLE!

  53. Irion said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:40

    Maybe Dennis Miller can fill in for Ric Flair while Ric is attending his speaking engagement at The Gathering of Juggalos
    http://www.juggalogathering.com/gotj/

    (Just skip to 5:50, I’ve lost enough brain cells for all of us looking that up)

  54. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 5, 2012 at 20:41

    Fucking Magnets…
    ~

  55. bughunter said,

    December 5, 2012 at 21:02

    Fucking Magnets…

    Here ya go

  56. N__B said,

    December 5, 2012 at 21:06

    Maybe Dennis Miller can fill in for Ric Flair while Ric is attending his speaking engagement at The Gathering of Juggalos

    After the juggalos turned on Tila Tequila, I’m not sure I still believe they are a respectful audience.

  57. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 5, 2012 at 21:23

    Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    December 5, 2012 at 19:36 (kill)

    Bah. Go watch some real rugby.

    Great idea!

  58. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2012 at 21:32

    LEAFS SUCK Mayoral Crisis Tweet of the Day

    ‘You’ve just got to work every day and run the city and respect for taxpayers’ – Half day if there’s football

  59. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 5, 2012 at 22:10

    WHY CAN’T I BUY A NEXUS 7 WITH HSPA? FUCK GOOGLE!

    I thought you had an iPrecious. What’s making you want teh Googly padlet instead? (asks the dude with an android phone and a 1st gen iPad)

  60. Whale Chowder said,

    December 5, 2012 at 22:32

    HSPA?

    High Speed PENIS Attachment?

  61. Fenwick said,

    December 5, 2012 at 22:33

    Anyone remember Al Campanis?

  62. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 5, 2012 at 22:41

    I’m more than a little uncomfortable with Tumblr pages making fun of people on OKCupid for reasons other than being harassing or sexist. I got featured on one myself for my clothing choices and interests and it hurt, to be honest.

  63. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2012 at 22:58

    Also, vaguely on topic – just wanted to point out how horribly racist sports journalism is and link this Scoop Jackson piece.

  64. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:13

    I’m more than a little uncomfortable with Tumblr pages making fun of people on OKCupid for reasons other than being harassing or sexist.

    I think it’s a law that it’s always OK to make fun of juggalos…

  65. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:18

    I think we’re all deserving of a pie in the face. Except lemon pie because it stings if you blink at the wrong time.

  66. 'natch said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:21

    Mandatory juggalo video…

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfnhvw_sunnyjuggalo2_shortfilms#.UL-64OQ71Bk

  67. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:24

    Also, vaguely on topic – just wanted to point out how horribly racist sports journalism is and link this Scoop Jackson piece.

    Yes, there may be few blacks in the press box. But there are lots of blacks down on the playing field, and that’s what really counts.

    (I’m kidding, but almost exactly that argument was once advanced by some old white sorehead writer, in all seriousness, in answer to this issue.)

  68. Marco said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:30

    Lord, who has the time on their hands to whine like the right wing does? Did he write this after spending three hours yelling at the sun? Lordy.

  69. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:38

    The most surprising member on this list is San Francisco’s new starting quarterback, Colin Kaepernick. Although his parents — one black, one white — were not married, his birth mother made a culture-defying decision in 1987: she chose not to have an abortion. Having watched two newborn sons die of heart defects, Teresa and Rick Kaepernick decided to adopt, and Colin was the baby who came their way. Colin would grow up in a white household in largely white communities, but color was no more the determining value in his upbringing than it was for Freeman or Griffin or Wilson.

    I was not aware that you could walk into an orphanage and abort the kids there.

  70. Fenwick said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:49

    I got featured on one myself for my clothing choices and interests and it hurt, to be honest.

    Fuck ‘em and forget about ‘em. Us Sadlies know Spear totally rocks in clothing style and selection And interests–like imaginative artwork. I remember a longish, nifty SN strand–from way back–about hats and tuxedos and all sorts of clothing selection discussions. Spear sparked it and made it lively and fun to read. Also edumacational.

  71. Fenwick said,

    December 5, 2012 at 23:57

    Off-topic jokiness: At the top of the SN blogroll, is a link to “Bad Credit Questions”

    Here’ s bad credit question: “Can I put down a dead possum as collateral on $500,000 house?”

  72. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:03

    I haz teh 1st gen iPad. Teh Ho’s birthday is coming up, as is the solstice celebration. I wuz thinkin I’d get him an Adroidy device, partly for the price and partly because I’m growing less enamored of the iOS fortress.

    The iPad mini with mobile data is $469. A Nexus 7 similarly equipped is $299.

  73. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:05

    Mandatory juggalo video…

    SNORT!

    Was actually worth sitting through the Twix ad for.
    ~

  74. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:06

    Also, I made some kick-ass soup yesterday which I’m having for lunch right now. Linguica AND chorizo, kale, chick peas, onion, garlic, can of diced tomates, home made chicken stock, probably some other stuff. MM MM GOOD.

  75. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:06

    Yeah, cubed turnips ‘stead of potates.

  76. Major Kong said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:07

    I was thinking about getting something like a Nexus 7 for when I don’t feel like dragging out my laptop.

  77. Fenwick said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:13

    Also that ‘no atheists in the NFL’ assertion is idiotic. Study idea: Conduct a blind poll of NFL players about religious identity. I swear to God there are closet atheists in ANY professional sport. (Fuck, make that any profession period.)

    ….and there’s a hook for Pup and other Sadlie atheists! I always try to be helpful.

  78. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:13

    oops – forgot the very important ingredients, the paprika trinity – spanish sweet parika, Hungarian half sharp paprika and a bit of smoked Spanish paprika. Perfection!

  79. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:14

    Fuck, make that any profession period.

    Foxes can’t be atheists.

    I think that’s what I read.

  80. VCarlson said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:19

    See, what I think of when I encounter “Nexus” and “android” in close proximity is Rutger Hauer (OK, Roy Batty) dying in the rain.

  81. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:22

    I would beware of products with accelerated decrepitude.

  82. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:22

    Fucking Magnets…

    Here ya go…

    kinky

  83. Matt said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:23

    If people like Cashill want more black families, maybe they could start by dropping the whole “mandatory sentences TO THE MAX” boner they’ve had for years…

  84. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:25

    See, what I think of when I encounter “Nexus” and “android” in close proximity is Rutger Hauer (OK, Roy Batty) dying in the rain.

     

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

  85. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 0:50

    Tannhäuser gate.

  86. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 6, 2012 at 1:29

    If people like Cashill want more black families, maybe they could start by dropping the whole “mandatory sentences TO THE MAX” boner they’ve had for years…

    This. Although I’m sure they would say that if all those blahs serving mandatory sentences had grown up in intact Christian families, they wouldn’t have done whatever they did in the first place.

  87. g said,

    December 6, 2012 at 1:31

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

    Mmmm. Bradbury building.

  88. Another Kiwi said,

    December 6, 2012 at 1:51

    When will Barak Devil Macolm X Osama Blackity Black come clean about Tannhäusergate

  89. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 6, 2012 at 2:02

    Sorry if someone posted this already, but I don’t remember it. 49% of Republicans believe that ACORN stole the 2012 election.

  90. N__B said,

    December 6, 2012 at 2:33

    Mmmm. Bradbury building.

    I’m on it: http://nedbeaumontjr.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/guest-coast/

  91. Aussie Craig said,

    December 6, 2012 at 2:42

    Why no mention of white women falling under the jungle spell of black men?? Oh, they be white CHRISTIAN women. Thats ok then. “Bring that boy here to lay at my feet. I want to get rid of my rhumatiz”

    James Mason rocked!

  92. El Manquecito said,

    December 6, 2012 at 3:27

    A vocal artist friend did the recordings for the “WhackAMole” board game. She’s a riot at parties.

  93. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 6, 2012 at 3:46

    Okay. Fuck Wednesday, too.
    .

  94. N__B said,

    December 6, 2012 at 3:49

    Wednesday Adams is so hot.

    Wait, did I say that out loud?

  95. Spengler Dampniche said,

    December 6, 2012 at 3:52

    By the plump labia of the Age-Old Vexation, I did not know the wingnuts had resorted to claiming the Negro is not good at sports. I am not a follower of athletic competitions, but it was my impression that persons of color were excellent at all non-swimming events.

    It is of course logical to claim that the only colored fellows who excel at the football are Christians from unbroken homes, which makes them semi-white. Because the unmarrieds are all darkies.

  96. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 3:58

    Why no mention of white women falling under the jungle spell of black men??

    He didn’t know how to spell “chifferobe.”

  97. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 6, 2012 at 4:09

    It is weird to watch an American show — Moonshiners — that is completely incomprehensible without “english” subtitles.

  98. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 6, 2012 at 4:10

    By the plump labia of the Age-Old Vexation

    And this is but a sample of why Teh Greatest Spengler in Teh World!!!!

    Sorry Egon.

  99. Another Kiwi said,

    December 6, 2012 at 5:16

    It is weird to watch an American show — Moonshiners — that is completely incomprehensible without “english” subtitles.
    So, ah, they distil something that the Virginia Thought Control police say is legal. But the show is apparently about people doing something illegal and is called a reality show because it shows how other people who actually are making illegal stuff, live. but the show, at no time says “This is all made up”.
    Uh huh.
    Somehow this is caused by godless Negroes, I just know it.

  100. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    December 6, 2012 at 6:51

    ” Somehow this is caused by godless Negroes, I just know it.”

    So,…you’ve obviously visited often then, eh?

  101. Fenwick said,

    December 6, 2012 at 7:16

    persons of color were excellent at all non-swimming events.

    Hockey? Giant slalom? Hyperbole much?

  102. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 6, 2012 at 7:19

    Gratuitous animated GIFs of Christina Hendricks of the day.

    Maybe this’ll go through this time?

  103. Fenwick said,

    December 6, 2012 at 10:39

    + 1 for the GIF, Spear. I completely rate for redheads and the auburn-haired.

    The only Christina Hendriks performances I’ve seen were her Firefly episodes …. which I muchly enjoyed. Imo, she showed some versatile acting chops portraying such a cameleon-like character. She was smooth and slick in the flight/action sequences. (I’ve seen the series twice; it didn’t look to me like Hendrix was doubled in the fights. Hey! That gives me an excuse to watch those episodes again and play much closer attention. Perhaps frame-by-frame analysis.

    I’ll be in my bunk.

  104. Major Kong said,

    December 6, 2012 at 10:45

    I’ll be flying over bbkf’s house in a couple hours on my way to Winnipeg.

  105. Another Kiwi said,

    December 6, 2012 at 10:45

    Mr Mayor, I was trying in my own sad little way to point out the foolishness of the original post article by presuming to speak like the person in the featured article . In this case he might blame an incomprehensible TV show on imaginary African Americans. It is long standing internet tradition to say “Negroes” to indicate that you are not be taken seriously.

  106. Austin Loomis said,

    December 6, 2012 at 15:27

    It is long standing internet tradition to say “Negroes” to indicate that you are not be taken seriously.

    …another way to indicate you are not to be taken seriously is to use “Democrat” as an adjective, of course. (Isn’t it nice of the drobes, glorps and other disembrained types to have these little tells so intelligent, aware people won’t mistake them for someone who might accidentally have something worthwhile to say?)

  107. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 6, 2012 at 15:31

    It’s a pet peeve of mine, which I’m sure is why they use it.

  108. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 6, 2012 at 15:35

    Dudeskull cuteness update

  109. Katy Perry's Cameltoe said,

    December 6, 2012 at 17:02

    another way to indicate you are not to be taken seriously is to use “Democrat” as an adjective

    Lately I’ve noticed VSPs and their media stenographers using that adjective, not just Rushbots and other rancorous ultraconservatives… it’s being mainstreamed.

    It grates, still.

  110. bughunter said,

    December 6, 2012 at 17:03

    Crap. I meant “Mrf, Ummf urff mrf haufgh!”

    Total nymfail.

  111. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 6, 2012 at 17:19

    When’s Major Kong gonna include a URL in the nym?

  112. N__B said,

    December 6, 2012 at 18:24

    When’s Major Kong gonna include a URL in the nym?

    When he accidentally pastes a porn site in the wrong field?

  113. Whale Chowder said,

    December 6, 2012 at 18:35

    OT: I think it’s pretty swell that the King County Courthouse stayed open all night long to provide marriage licenses to same-sex couples. 250+ and counting!

    Good onnem.

  114. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:16

    Is that you, Father Jack?

    oh jaysus! i. just. got. this.

  115. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:19

    When will Major Kong not-accidentally include the good porn URLs?

  116. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:31

    What the fuck is a juggalo?

    oh, good god…one of my nieces is a juggalo! another may be as well…family christmas could be interesting this year…

  117. beejeez said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:31

    Although his parents — one black, one white — were not married, his birth mother made a culture-defying decision in 1987: she chose not to have an abortion.

    Actually, I believe you’ll find that a high proportion of NFL players have mothers who decided not to abort them. I could be wrong.

  118. N__B said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:35

    , I believe you’ll find that a high proportion of NFL players have mothers who decided not to abort them. I could be wrong.

    Tim Tebow is the exception that proves the rule.

  119. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:45

    I’ll be flying over bbkf’s house in a couple hours on my way to Winnipeg.

    ooooooh! did you see it? did you see it?

  120. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:49

    America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ is fighting back against the FASCISM OF INFORMATION*!

    I’ll pick up the cab fare for M. Bouffant or another LALALand to attend if you’ll get him to leave his car idling in the driveway and run the HVAC full blast with the doors and windows open. Pics required for reimbursement.

  121. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 19:50

    Oops.

    *h/t to SC for the awesome slogan.

  122. tigris said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:00

    Meatless Monday Steak Dinner? Good God, is there ANYTHING that doesn’t merit a nastily contrary response from right wingers?

  123. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:01

    The only Christina Hendriks performances I’ve seen were her Firefly episodes

    I highly recommend Mad Men. It’s just a good show all around.

  124. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:14

    Good God, is there ANYTHING that doesn’t merit a nastily contrary response from right wingers?

    No.

    /SA2SQ

  125. kg said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:15

    Got caught up in some of the mangoes at the meatless mondays link. Man, I don’t know how you guys do it! That ndt guy is something…

  126. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:45

    He reminds me of that jerkoff who was going to idle his car and leave all his lights on and windows open in winter to “protest” something or other about saving energy. I never heard another thing about it, but I kept hoping that guy would get a case of carbon monoxide poisoning.

  127. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:55

    By “him” of course I mean America’s Dumbest Homosexual™, not the cab driver. Also “LALALander.”

  128. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:24

    Got caught up in some of the mangoes at the meatless mondays link. Man, I don’t know how you guys do it! That ndt guy is something…

    they are a special breed over there, that’s for sure…ndt and ilc are particularly loathsome…and now i haz sadz because i too, got mired in the meatless monday mangoes…

  129. smut clyde said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:47

    the King County Courthouse stayed open all night long to provide marriage licenses to same-sex couples
    Just going to link to this.

  130. Lancelot Link said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:27

    Good God, is there ANYTHING that doesn’t merit a nastily contrary response from right wingers?
    Well, as a liberal, I oppose the drinking of cleaning products.

  131. Fenwick said,

    December 7, 2012 at 9:43

    I highly recommend Mad Men. It’s just a good show all around.

    I dunno, Spear. Maybe I’ve been watching way too many ensemble films and tee-vee shows with multiple interwoven storylines. So I’m gonna take a break from ‘em for a while. Based on your suggestion–and CH o’course–I’ll put Mad Men near the top of my list when I resume.

    It will be sort of strange: I grew from toddlerhood(*) to childhood in the 1950′s. I imagine the Mad Men clothes, hairstyles, cars, furniture, and suchlike will have unusual echoes from my personal experience.

    (*) Also on toddlerhood: Drop by Dr. Ken’s for pics of a happy… and progressively happier…. Dudeskull (aka Lord Chubbington).

  132. Shalimar said,

    December 9, 2012 at 13:46

    Dennis Miller lost his gig because he was a smarmy know it all. Which was strange, because that was why they hired him in the first place.

    I thought he lost his job because the one thing he rarely talked about during his mile-a-minute ranting was football.

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()