Shorter Rich Lowry, America’s Shittiest Website™
Thanksgiving Dumbed Down
- You know, I was reading Obama’s Thanksgiving Proclamation and I wondered: Do Muslims even do Thanksgiving?
I suppose it comes as no surprise that Mr. Starburst a/k/a Rich Lowry isn’t up to any good when he wanders over to WhiteHouse.gov to read Obama’s Thanksgiving Proclamation. And it’s also no great shock that reading the proclamation didn’t cause any starbursts to shoot out from Lowry’s tablet screen all over his living room or cause him to imagine that Obama winked at him. No, it made him mad, madder, in fact, than Thomas Sowell after an unsuccessful effort to turn on a fancypants hotel teevee set.
According to Lowry, the proclamation was too much socialism and not enough God. And by socialism, Lowry means an un-Thanksgiving-like expression of concern for the welfare of anyone other than the CEOs of the Fortune 500 who, by their munificence and unparalleled generosity, make Thanksgiving possible for the rest of us in the first place.
Not surprisingly, President Barack Obama’s Thanksgiving proclamations have been particularly pedestrian and perfunctory. God is lucky to get a mention or two.
Sadly, No! In the 2012 Proclamation, God is mentioned in three of the proclamation’s five paragraphs, which isn’t that much less than the number of times (seven) that Lowry mentions God in his much longer post. In fact, my guess is that the RDPS (references to a deity per sentence) is about the same for both Obama’s proclamation and Lowry’s, er, declamation.
But what really gets Lowry’s goat is that Obama talks about Native Americans:
What God has lost in prominence in Obama’s statements has been gained by the American Indians, in a bow to multicultural pieties. His 2010 proclamation described how a spirit of Thanksgiving “brought together the newly arrived Pilgrims and Wampanoag tribe — who had been living and thriving around Plymouth, Mass., for thousands of years — in an autumn harvest feast centuries ago.” His proclamation last year urged the country “to remember the ways that the first Americans have enriched our nation’s heritage, from their generosity centuries ago to the everyday contributions they make to all facets of American life.”
What the fuck do Native Americans have to do with Thanksgiving anyway? Is that something Obama learned in his madrassa in Kenya or Singapore or wherever it was? Every true American knows that if any redskins had shown up at the first Thanksgiving, the pilgrims would have whipped out their muskets and blown each and everyone of them into that pagan hell where all idolatrous, non-Christian savages belong. Next thing you know the liberals will be claiming that there were Jews present at the Nativity of Our Lord.