Nov
22

Happy Thanksgiving Belated Transgender Day of Remembrance!




Posted at 15:25 by Cerberus

What? There’s a bigger holiday going on today? Since when?

Rancid Scumbag McCain, The Slightly More White Supremacist McCain:
The Self-Dramatizing Victimhood Narrative of Lana (Neé Larry) Wachowski

NOTE: This was originally written for Nov. 20th, but finding 5 seconds to post this on Nov. 20th proved impossible. So like a lazy ass, I’m posting it here on Thanksgiving, because fuck you, that’s why.

Awww yeah, everybody, it’s time to boogey down and celebrate the biggest Transgender event of the year. Sure, trans people might get a small pop in visibility on other days of the year. A small blip at Pride, the various sightings during the War on Christmas, stalking out some of the bathroom stalls looking for straights to freak out.

But only today, November 20th, is truly ours and so as such it must be a day to celebrate like every other big day is for every other minority group. Irish and Italian people get parades. Gay people get marches and festivals. Women used to get Lilith Fair. So I’m really looking forward to…

Somberly reflecting on how often we still get snuffed out annually in hate-crimes and weeping for our fallen.

… yay, woo, celebration hat… sigh, no wonder our suicide rates are so fucking high.

So yeah, maybe we haven’t quite clawed our way up to the “hell yeah party” level of social acceptance yet, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a lot to get out of the day. A time to pause and reflect on the realities of the struggle can bring new strength and conviction and can make the brave actions of those willing to be themselves that much more poignant.

Like when Lana Wachowski, one half of the famous Wachowski siblings, came out as transgender earlier this year, an action that rightfully won her the HRC Visibility Award last month.

But the silver lining isn’t worth as much without a reminder of the pain… at least that’s the excuse I used to try and explain why I subjected myself to Confederate McCain’s response to Lana Wachowski’s poignant acceptance speech.

Welp, roll the shorter:

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • How dare trans people react to our hatred to them with humanity and acknowledgment of our crimes! Don’t they know that the only true victims are white male heterosexual cissexual bigots?!?

Sigh… might as well dive in.

There is nothing more pathological in contemporary culture than our de rigeur celebration of the hero/martyr/victim as the ambitional ideal.

There’s something to be said for that. White Christian obsession with the image of Christ as martyr versus Christ as radical or Christ as 2000-year-old comic book superhero or Christ as fictional fucking person has lead to all sorts of painful bullshit over the years. From the demands that oppressions be left intact because the suffering will help “purify” the oppressed to the neurotic attempts to deny oneself joy of either an emotional or sexual nature because of a idiotic assumption that that makes one a “better person”, it’s been one never-ending shit sandwich.

Especially when most any oppressed person can tell you how much more meaningful and important it is to live for one’s cause than to die for it (though we always honor our fallen).

You weren’t really talking about any of that, were you?

If you can achieve nothing else in life, you can always claim victimhood and be applauded for it.

Sir, I do so hate to intrude, but see, the light from your overheating IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is keeping me up and I have work early tomorrow morning, so if you could please-

Yes, I understand tha-

Sir, I-

This is why we have hate hoaxes by people like Sharmeka Moffitt

Who?

I know you love you your echo chambers and your feigned poses of victimhood, but you kind of need to wait until we’ve actually heard of the person we’re supposed to be foolishly defending and who single-handedly disproves every hate crime that has ever occurred.

, and this is why all the bien-pensants expect us to join their pity party for Lana Wachowski:

Pity party, outpouring of public support for a brave action, same thing right?

Director Lana Wachowski, whose films include Cloud Atlas and the Matrix trilogy and who came out as transgendered earlier this year, told an audience in San Francisco last weekend that she nearly committed suicide as a young adult because of her identity struggles.
“In the absence of words to defend myself, without examples, without models, I began to believe voices in my head – that I was a freak, that I am broken, that there is something wrong with me, that I will never be lovable,” Wachowski said at the Human Rights Campaign’s gala dinner in San Francisco, where she accepted the LGBT organization’s Visibility Award.

Congratulations! You’ve won the “Visibility Award”! You are now a Certified Official Victim-Hero!

You and I have very different definitions of “Visibility”, don’t we?

From Wachowski’s acceptance speech:

I am completely horrified by the “talk show,” the interrogation and confession format, the weeping, the tears of the host [applause] whose sympathy underscores the inherent tragedy of my life as a transgender person. And this moment fulfilling the cathartic arc of rejection to acceptance without ever interrogating the pathology of a society that refuses to acknowledge the spectrum of gender in the exact same blind way they have refused to see a spectrum of race or sexuality. . . .

(See? It’s society’s fault.)

Yessss, her comment criticizing how transgender coming out stories are handled by the media and wondering why bigotry is rarely given the same deconstruction and analysis that trans people in the media are is totally her just blaming everything bad in her life on society. (slap forehead)

Hey, Obama, in the midst of reading all those secession petitions and setting up all those FEMA death camps, I’d really appreciate it if instead of the usual re-education facilities, you just sent them to a workshop where they were forced to learn remedial reading comprehension.

I remember the third grade, I remember recently moving and transferring from a public school to a Catholic school. In public school I played mostly with girls, I have long hair and everyone wears jeans and t-shirts. In Catholic school the girls wear skirts, the boys play pants. I am told I have to cut my hair. I want to play Four Square with the girls but now I’m one of them — I’m one of the boys. . . .

(He never got over third grade — or Four Square, for that matter.)

Oh dear Bob in Himmel, he’s trying to be funny. No good ever comes from bitter wingnuts trying to poorly ape the human concept of humor.

I might need more Scotch to get through this.

Here in the absence of words to defend myself, without examples, without models, I began to believe voices in my head — that I was a freak, that I am broken, that there is something wrong with me, that I will never be lovable.
After school I go to the nearby Burger King and write a suicide note. It ends up being over four pages. [laughter] I’m a little talkative. But it was addressed to my parents and I really wanted to convince them that it wasn’t their fault, it was just that I didn’t belong. I cry a lot as I write this note . . .

Well, boo hoo hoo.You see how the celebration of victimhood encourages people to think of their self-pity as justified, as a reaction to “society,” externalizing blame for their own unhappiness onto the uncaring Other. The culture of victimhood permits them to embrace their selfish narcissism – their lack of empathy or understanding for the innumerable Others

Sure, my first reaction to hearing a transwoman talk about nearly committing suicide is to belittle her near-death, whine about how people who are not me are allowed to talk about their life story without being dismissed as meaningless, and want to make it all about me and my obsessions…

But it’s Lana who’s the selfish narcissist, lacking the empathy of understanding for the innumerate Other.

Truly, people flock to your blog for its unparalleled keen analysis of the human animal.

lumped into the dehumanizing category “society” — in order to export their sense of shame onto these scapegoats: “How dare you be insensitive to my problems, you hateful bigots!”

I suppose it is cruel of us, we battered and bloody victims of your callous and casual hatreds, to burden you so, to call you such filthy names in your hours of weakness.

How many bigots have found themselves haunted of a night at how intolerant the world is of their bitter intolerance? How many bigots have found themselves terrified walking home at night, scared that they might beat someone half to death and have to live with the horror of being considered “insensitive” by their victims? How many have supported the stripping of rights and the transparent dehumanizing of those they consider lesser and then were suddenly and violently ASSAULTED by those filthy lessers refusing to kill themselves and instead growing up and demonstrating the courage they know they could never possess for all their blather about the courage “Christ showed on the cross”?

And do we care at what ruin we engineer in our blood-soaked wake?

No.

Who are the true monsters here? I ask you that… rhetorically… And non-persons aren’t allowed to answer. You’re way too selfish to be impartial.

Here’s the thing: All children experience occasional moments of social awkwardness. Many teenagers feel unloved and sad.

Yeah, me once having to deal with having a girl I crushed on not wanting to date me is totally equal to having society consider who you are an error so grand that violence is acceptable to rub you out.

Geez, you act like you’re so special just because we hate you for existing.

These problems are so common as to be nearly universal, and yet Wachowski has such a sense of specialness and entitlement as to believe it horribly unfair — indeed, a social injustice, a violation of human rights — that he/she should ever have had such feelings. And so “society” must be scolded and punished, for we were all guilty of our failure to recognize Wachowski’s specialness.

I’ll leave the obvious trollbait aside and rather focus on the meat of the issue as it were.

If it is so much a burden for your victims to be seen as victims, for your crimes to be acknowledged, for the bigotries to be analyzed, and for bravery to be recognized and celebrated…

You could just stop.

Stop dehumanizing the transpeople, stop pretending like it’s a gross violation of your rights to be aware that people other than you exist, stop blocking their right to full human rights, help eliminate the barriers to full equal participation in society, help ensure that our schools are safe for every child to be who they are without reprisal or being driven to suicide. You could just cease the temper tantrum that you and your ilk throw every single time one of your victims is treated as anything other than refuse to be discarded in the skip bin of life.

If it’s really such a pain in the ass for you, if this wasn’t just some disingenuous bullshit to try and minimize a powerful and humanizing speech before one of your readers discovers it and is forced to see the humanity in the object of their hate, it would be far more worth it to just stop, let the trans people become just another band of tax-paying people, than to think that this next round of angry denunciation will somehow make them disappear forever.

But, hey, I think we both know exactly what the purpose of this post was.

Hey, Larry, what about your ex-wife, Thea Bloom? You know, the “college sweetheart” you married in 1993, and who divorced you in 2003 saying you had “been extremely dishonest . . . in our personal life”?

Okay, I know you are being intentionally obtuse, but there is acting dumb and there is acting like you were dropped on your head at an early age.

Gee, Einstein, off-hand comments about a “personal dishonesty in our relationship” that it wouldn’t be “right to share publicly”. Gosh, that doesn’t sound at all like, um, well, being in the closet about being trans was what fucked up their relationship.

I mean, fuck, by the calvinball rules you and your ilk always throw our way, Lana did everything right. Tried to hide in the closet, tried to deny everything she already knew about herself and pretended to be someone she knew she wasn’t so as not to sabotage the life she made with the woman she loved and the career she started with her brother.

But it turns out, that try as you might to stop a faucet by holding your hand against the spigot, it still leaks out. And a-doy it turns out that the best policy for all would have been having the bravery to be out from the very beginning.

But that can’t be right, you assured me that it’s coming out now that’s the selfish act that somehow retroactively caused a divorce nearly a decade ago and you wouldn’t lie, right?

Is she just part of that uncaring “society” against whom you rage?

It still is remarkable to me how wingnuts always have their handful of carefully cultivated resentments that they simmer over for years and constantly circle around as if they were somehow relevant to everything they ever talk about.

Racist Shitbird McCain once heard about someone talking about how a comedian they once heard talked about how people blame society for him, and Bob bless him if that isn’t what he’s going to rant about no matter how dumb it makes him look in context.

Seriously, fuck death camps, fuck taking their guns away, just shove them into therapy instead.

And isn’t it possible that your rage is actually an externalization of your own guilt feelings over the cruel deceit you practiced against her?

I don’t know, giant ball of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, what are you feeling guilty about?

Where does Thea go to get her award?

It’s always so quaint how nutjob right-wingers think they’ve got some knockdown case when they try and take down some recently out trans celebrity or gay celebrity because of their previous divorce.

Not just because in Hollywood (or among famous people in general, right-wingers included), you’d probably have to sacrifice a unicorn on a sacred altar at midnight on the apex of the full moon just to find someone without a divorce on their record.

But because, they don’t quite seem to get how little their delusion-created victim piece gives a shit about their disingenuous story-creation.

Do they really think anyone is going to buy that Thea Bloom is crying her eyes out, 9 years after the fact at how Lana and her didn’t work out? That Ms. Bloom hasn’t already moved on with her life and probably doesn’t give a fuck about what her ex-wife is up to?

Also, wasn’t inventing victims bad like two paragraphs ago? Did you already forget?

Wachowski’s problem isn’t “gender identity disorder,” it’s egomania. And there is something profoundly perverse about a culture that empowers such bullies, by celebrating their make-believe victimhood and assisting their petty revenge on society in the name of “human rights.”

Yeah, could have sworn you said something about invented victims being bad. Must have been my imagination.

But seriously, if anyone believes that Bitter Asshole McCain’s issue with Lana is “egomania” and not simply the fact that she dares to exist and continue to exist in a world he would prefer she didn’t, I’ve got a fucking bridge in Brooklyn to sell ya.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Giving a firm middle finger to timeliness and not giving a fuck is invented by all of us, but done best by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

And to wash out the taste of that out of all of our mouths. Here’s Lana’s actual acceptance speech.

Fuck yeah!

65 Comments »

  1. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 22, 2012 at 15:42

    FRIST!
    .

  2. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    November 22, 2012 at 15:56

    Alternative shorter:

    “So what if my name is Stacey?!”

  3. Major Kong said,

    November 22, 2012 at 16:11

    Seriously, fuck death camps, fuck taking their guns away, just shove them into therapy instead.

    Speaking of needing therapy, I actually clicked the link.

    The horror. The horror.

    If anyone needs me I’ll be curled up in a fetal position quietly sobbing.

  4. Thread Bear said,

    November 22, 2012 at 16:33

    Happy fucking Thanksgiving! (pardon my French)

    Gobble,gobble,gobble,gobble! (pardon my turkey)

  5. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 22, 2012 at 16:47

    Watch out, Major!

    HYANNIS — A Cape Air flight was forced to return to Barnstable Municipal Airport after a loon crashed through the windshield Wednesday morning.

    Part of the bird came through the plane’s window, bloodying the passengers, pilot and co-pilot, airport manager Roland “Bud” Breault said. The pilots were able to turn the Cessna 402C around and safely land at the airport, he said.

    It seems The Birds aren’t all that happy with this Thanksgiving business.
    ~

  6. Nick said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:04

    …And this guy actually earns money from writing this shit. Gah.

  7. tigris said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:16

    Christ, Stace, if you want a day of sorrowful remembrance for your tribe, the tiny majority of weak-mighty bully-victims, commit suicide already.

  8. tigris said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:21

    Spelling it out, in case any of his lapdogs make it here, I don’t actually want any of you whiners to die, just man up and quit moaning about how put upon you are because other people exist and occasionally get noticed. For Christ’s sake, he’s jealous of the tiny bit of attention paid to a group so marginalized the only time most people hear about them is as either as a punchline or a suicide statistic.

  9. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:24

    Somberly reflecting on how often we still get snuffed out annually in hate-crimes and weeping for our fallen.

    It’s just as good as Jewish holidays.

  10. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:31

    And here we have a freakout over the amount of respect dead soldiers should receive.

  11. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:35

    Speaking of contrarian takes on movies, I actually liked Speed Racer.

  12. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 22, 2012 at 17:52

    I actually liked Speed Racer.

    … by… MENNEN!
    .

  13. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 22, 2012 at 19:16

    My nephew’s wife just reported that their 8 year old said “Peppermint Patty is a GIRL? I thought Peppermint Patty and Charlie Brown were gay?!?”

    Yo Stacey – this ain’t the same planet we grew up on. I find amusement in your slow demise and look eagerly forward to the day when you and the rest of thendinosaurs are extinct. In fact, I’ll mark that as what I’m thankful for today!

  14. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 19:29

    3 fucking posts since I last visited?

    IT’S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

  15. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 19:31

    Congratulations! You’ve won the “Visibility Award”! You are now a Certified Official Victim-Hero!

    That’s right, folks. He just mocked a formerly-suicidal person. That is fuckawesome.

  16. CRA said,

    November 22, 2012 at 19:42

    Good job, Cerberus. It’s hard to imagine what more I could say about this cretin.

    Here’s a lame bit of concern trolling from his comments:

    Who I feel badly for are the other two “co-directors” of Cloud Atlas. There was a promotional intro to the film released online a little while ago, with all three of them. It was hard to take anything any of them said about the film seriously. She/he is a narcissist who is drawing others into her/his misery vortex. Wrong.

    WTF? They’re a team. The others drawn into her vortex are her brother and another long-time partner. They’ve been either trying to get this project started or working on it for some time … I haven’t seen the promo, but this nitwit manages to make it sound like an awkward mishap. Andy makes this movie with Lana, see, in a moment of poor judgment, not realizing he’ll have to be interviewed sitting next to her and whats-his-face! Why did I make this movie again?! Dammit I hate tricky trannies and now I’m gonna look bad! What will Robert Stacy McCain think of me, Andy Wachowski?

  17. Anonymous said,

    November 22, 2012 at 19:46

    Happy Thanksgiving, Yanks!
    Condolences, turkeys.

    seriously, if anyone believes that Bitter Asshole McCain’s issue with Lana is “egomania”

    Au contraire, mes ami – that’s EXACTLY the issue here.
    His.

    McCain wants very very much to believe that the incoherent accolades of Eagle Forum mouthbreathers & Bircher inbreeds makes him a RISING STAR OF TEH INTERWEBZ (though it’s obvious he’s never going to be on MTP regularly like his fighter-jet-serial-killer namesake)… but Wachowski co-created the Matrix trilogy, the first film of which has been seen & enjoyed by approximately everyone on Earth. Next to that, his blog looks a lot like a big fat floater, & poor widdle weepy-troll hates that. He’ll never be able to make anything 0.0001% as successful – & showing real class in public the way Wachowski has? That must burn like Dracula’s nutsack getting a Holy Water scrub-down if you’re a hateful mewling prick like McCain who can’t even imagine aspiring to that level of inspiration & decency.

    The alternative to sniping & sulking in the bleachers would be McCain actually working to be better at what he does.

    *ROFLMAO*

  18. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    November 22, 2012 at 19:48

    Ach du lieber! FYWP!
    Anon was I … as if my trusty ampersands didn’t give me away … stupid browser update …

  19. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:16

    She/he is a narcissist who is drawing others into her/his misery vortex.

    “Misery vortex” is a pretty good description of conservative politics.

  20. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:36

    Misery Vortex had a great run until that pretentious and noisome fourth album.

  21. DAS said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:39

    “It’s just as good as Jewish holidays” — Substance McG

    Nu? What do you get to eat on Transgender Remembrance Day? Blintzes? Latkes? Matzo ball soup? Do you get schnapps? Bronf?

    Jewish holidays aren’t so bad … really …

  22. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:41

    OT: There’s a sucker humping every minute.

  23. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:42

    Misery Vortex had a great run until that pretentious and noisome fourth album.

    I would kinda hope that a band named “Misery Vortex” would be pretentious and noisome from the start. Also, eyeliner. Lots of eyeliner.

  24. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:44

    BTW, it’s from a couple days ago, but I *DO* hope everyone got to see Ross Douchhat’s latest column. I’m actually surprised it was shortered here.

    You can click my name to get the skinny on it, or just visit “The Liberal Gloat” at NYT.

  25. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 22, 2012 at 20:55

    Those damn gays have their own parade. Why do they have to force their way into our beloved Macy’s parade?

  26. Smut Clyde said,

    November 22, 2012 at 21:11

    Misery Vortex
    Worst Anime character evah.

  27. Smut Clyde said,

    November 22, 2012 at 21:16

    Give McCain more credit for the amount of work he had to do to track down accounts of Wachowski’s speech to an invited audience, so he could complain that she was thrusting her status and experiences down his throat.

  28. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 21:21

    ss Douchhat’s latest column. I’m actually surprised it was shortered here.

    Meant to say “wasn’t”

  29. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    November 22, 2012 at 21:50

    Jewish holidays aren’t so bad … really …

    That said, we only get Purim to get drunk and make rude noises at assholes. And that seems to be a year-round process for the trnasgender-folk, for all good or ill that proves to be.

  30. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 22, 2012 at 22:17

    So just to see if there was an easier way to peel chestnuts I googled it up. Martha Stewart (who has a not very good method, btw) says to “put them in your chestnut roasting pan.” Good gawd, Marfa.

  31. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 22, 2012 at 22:40

    From the comments on that Douthat column:

    Such confusion between cause and effect. Liberalism doesn’t create social disintegration; it simply addresses it, rather than acting as though it does not exist, that it has no cause except for a mysterious drop in morality and will – a position that is bound to annoy both those actually suffering from it and those who aren’t but understand it has actual causes that need to be taken seriously.

    and

    Well, which is it, Mr. Douthat? Do we think that we’re God’s chosen ones or are we just the secular “typical unchurched” Americans whose “secularism is… a symptom of [our] disconnection from community?”

    .
    .
    .
    It’s a breathtakingly bad column. Consider the following statement about Hispanics:

    are assimilating downward, thanks to rising out-of-wedlock birthrates and high dropout rates.

    There’s some hyperlinks in there but they go to places as ugly as Ross’ column, so I’m not reproducing them. Anyways, let’s look at how full of shite this one sentence fragment is.

    Rising out-of-wedlock birthrates. zomg, teen moms with a gaggle of urchins of course are gonna vote for welfare! Only that such an interpretation requires you to be a brain-dead conservative with no clue about the world as it no longer was in the fifties.pdf warning.

    In the years since the mid-1970s, this proportion has fallen steadily. In 2007, 23% of nonmarital births were to teenagers. The decline largely relects the drop in birth rates for unmarried teenagers concurrent with the large increases in birth rates for adult unmarried women.

    Sixty percent of nonmarital births in 2007 were to women in their twenties, signiicantly higher than the 42% level in 1970.

    About one in six births to unmarried women in 2007 were to women aged 30 years and over, much higher than the proportion in 1970, 1 in 12.

    Ross’ dire warnings of roving bands of teenaged single moms depends on an understanding of “out-of-wedlock child birth” that is older than he is.

    And notice how “high dropout rates” makes no reference to the trend? Because dropout rates have been dropping. Ross takes these two separate statisitics – one showing women in their 20′s and older are having kids without having to marry the guy what knocked them up – and a high school dropout rate that is about half of what it was twenty years ago – as proof that the 2 in 3 Hispanics who voted for Obama are downward spiralling moochers hungry for gifts of “stuff”.

    Okay, long-winded boring stuff aside, here’s your Shorter Douthat

    If you look at the world from the perspective of a white, heterosexual, devoutly religious, cis-gendered, male born to the class of folks that send their kids to a private high school school and then to Harvard – the fifties look great and we should totally go back there.

  32. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 22, 2012 at 22:43

    the fifties look great and we should totally go back there.

    Sounds great! Hope you like 1/3 of the country being unionized and 90% top marginal tax rates!

  33. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 22, 2012 at 22:44

    re: that old chestnut

    I score the flatter side of the skins with an X (for Blacky Hussein X the Twice-Usurper), spread on a baking sheet and broil the blighters. That said, I too have often wondered if there were an easier way, because my way sucks.

  34. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 22, 2012 at 22:50

    Don’t you love me baby? Don’t you love me, oh-oooooh!
    .

  35. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 22, 2012 at 22:57

    Yeah, the old X cut was what I always did, just because that’s the way I learned to do it. I dont often use whole chestnuts so it never bothered me much. Today I just cut them in half and tossed em in the oven. Worked a treat!

  36. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 22, 2012 at 23:20

    Today I just cut them in half and tossed em in the oven. Worked a treat!

    zomg! But doesn’t your way lead to a lot less cutting your fingers open?

  37. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 23, 2012 at 0:14

    zomg! But doesn’t your way lead to a lot less cutting your fingers open?

    Yes, but I made up for it by sticking my fingers into the blender blade trying to retrieve some egg shell fragments. It wasn’t turned on. I’m such a slacker.

  38. Smut Clyde said,

    November 23, 2012 at 0:21

    I made up for it by sticking my fingers into the blender blade trying to retrieve some egg shell fragments.

    Protip:Try shelling the eggs *before* you blend them.

  39. Rodney Dangerfield said,

    November 23, 2012 at 1:36

    ” Sounds great! Hope you like 1/3 of the country being unionized and 90% top marginal tax rates!”
    And de rigeur racism and sexism, if thats what ur into.

  40. McJohn said,

    November 23, 2012 at 2:12

    McCain’s whiny screed reads to me as the classic experience of the straight white guy running into something for the first time that was not addressed to him, but offered vivid proof that the people he demonizes in support of the personal privilege he dare not examine are, in fact, people, and people of a colorful, expansive, impressive variety at that.

    To hear Ms. Wachowski speak and not be moved to empathy and admiration proves that McCain has attempted, with desperation and vast effort, to convince himself that what others consider a heart is, in him, just a shadow on the chest plate.

    Among the many things I am grateful for, on this holiday ostensibly for appreciation but more often hijacked by food porn and blood sport, is that Sadly, No! and its denizens exist, with a special dollop of extra gratitude to Cerberus for offering this exceptional experience, giving me another blessing to count on the very day set aside for just that very thing.

    Thanks, you guys.

  41. Celia said,

    November 23, 2012 at 2:25

    The part where he invokes Wachowski’s ex-wife, someone he’s probably never met and will never meet, is like a miniature version of those times when the conservative types suddenly pretend to be concerned for gay rights – when it’s Muslims being homophobic.

    I am going to take a great leap into the unknown here, but I suspect Ms Bloom would probably rather not be dragged into some dipshit’s wank about how people are paying more attention to famous transsexuals than to him.

  42. Another Kiwi said,

    November 23, 2012 at 3:27

    McJohn, well said.

    McCain sounds like a small town bigot. WTF does anyone take any notice of his snivelling?

  43. g said,

    November 23, 2012 at 3:49

    He’s a psychopath. End of story.

  44. Major Kong said,

    November 23, 2012 at 4:47

    As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

  45. Another Kiwi said,

    November 23, 2012 at 5:16

    Mr Carlson Isreal

  46. tensor said,

    November 23, 2012 at 5:54

    From The New York Fucking Times Pope-Ed page:

    “…like the churches threatened by the Obama White House’s contraceptive mandate…”

    So, ensuring young people can remain free of unwanted children will harm a worldwide conspiracy of socially-regressive pedophiles?Bonus feature, not bug.

  47. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    November 23, 2012 at 6:57

    “They’re hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!!!”
    “…and then they…counterattacked…coordinated!

  48. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 23, 2012 at 7:02

    Well, it’s always nice to hear the concerns of the RCC.

    My concern is: What are y’all doin’ to keep priest’s dicks out of our kids?
    .

  49. VCarlson said,

    November 23, 2012 at 7:02

    From The New York Fucking Times Pope-Ed page:

    “…like the churches threatened by the Obama White House’s contraceptive mandate…”

    My response to the various church snivelings about gubmint tellin’ ‘em how to run their bidnesses is they should just get the fuck out of business then, and stick to churching.

  50. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 23, 2012 at 7:04

    Hope you like 1/3 of the country being unionized and 90% top marginal tax rates!

    Don’t forget the clothes!

    As long as we can keep the social advances and the Internet.

  51. CRA said,

    November 23, 2012 at 7:22

    “…like the churches threatened by the Obama White House’s contraceptive mandate…”

    Utter nonsense. We’ve been paying insurance premiums. If anyone want to throw a fit, we’ve paid for whatever offends you. The bad people are in your risk pool!! They pay and join and then beeline toward heart disease, or AIDS or whatever.

    Bitching about Sandra Fluke is just misogynist nonsense. People whose premiums pay for all that and a bag of chips, everything AND the kitchen sink, fucking viagra et al., these are the people who are waking up to the notion that a paying into a risk pool means somebody might draw a benefit after violating your supposed moral code. Obviously they’re cranks, bigots, easily swayed by cretins like Limbaugh.

    I’d say fuck em, mock away, but I just failed this conversation with my mom. She kinda admitted Limbaugh is a fuckwad, but you know, he apologized!

  52. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 23, 2012 at 7:50

    Don’t forget the clothes!

    I wasn’t going to touch that sweater vest with a ten foot poke, but then I noticed it had buttons.

  53. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 23, 2012 at 8:17

    I wasn’t going to touch that sweater vest with a ten foot poke, but then I noticed it had buttons.

    I have no idea what you’re referring to. I just meant that the 50s had a lot of nice clothes and it would be cool if everybody dressed like that again.

  54. VCarlson said,

    November 23, 2012 at 8:24

    it would be cool if everybody dressed like that again.

    God, no! Girdles and obligatory stockings and very little leeway as to what was “allowed” by gender roles?

    I get you like the retro look, and you’re one of the people it looks good on, but oh, thank God those days are gone.

  55. CRA said,

    November 23, 2012 at 8:49

    Seems like people used to have far less clothing, but were more likely to have a formal outfit or three. A depression-era hobo might wear a threadbare suit. Now he’d be seen in layers of the same wash-n-wear stuff everybody else wears below a certain bracket.

    Narrower standards of dress pretty much sucked, because for the vast majority of people it meant wearing a relatively cheap mockery of formal dress all week long. You’d have a few outfits like that, and you’d never pass for high society, and you’d never really get to dress down either. A shiny, filthy suit and tie is just pathetic, but I think that was the point in a way.

    That, at least, is my impression of how some people had to make do.

  56. Whale Chowder said,

    November 23, 2012 at 9:04

    Well, like with homosexual marriage, I don’t get what business of Mr. McCain’s it is that Ms. Wachowski “came out” trans or that she received an award for being brave enough to do so. I’d suggest that if trans people bother him he should not become one. Or something.

    What a shame it is that the mere act of telling the world who you are should be sufficient to get you noticed by the human rights people.

    There. I just said the same thing as Cerberus but with none of the funny. Come to think of it, I like her version better.

    Carry on.

  57. Marsupial said,

    November 23, 2012 at 10:45

    And de rigeur racism and sexism, if thats what ur into.

    I think it is! They’ll fit right in!

    “They’re hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!!!”

    I cannot tell you how pleased my family (wife, 10 y/o daughter, and I) is that quoting “Turkeys Away” has become a Thanksgiving tradition! My friends and I have been doing it since the early 1980s. Try some of the more obscure lines — it can liven up any dull Thanksgiving! (not that there were any dull ones this year.)

  58. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 23, 2012 at 14:26

    Don’t forget the clothes!

    Some of the clothes were neat. Not so sure it’d be great for women to have to go back to pencil skirts and girdles and bullet bras and poodle skirts, etc. Not that women don’t occasionally wear pencil skirts these days, I just see returning to that fashion being a bit of a setback for women.

  59. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 23, 2012 at 18:18

    I just meant that the 50s had a lot of nice clothes and it would be cool if everybody dressed like that again.

    Ahh nostalgia. Misty water coloured memories of the way things were.

    Not all guys wore suits back then. This was the era of button down sweater vests. Or cardigans of questionable patterns. Or Letterman jackets. Or black turtlenecks and berets. Or, zomg, black turtle neck, beret AND a sweater vest.

    Spear’s probably thinking only of the best dressed of that decade and totally forgetting that a lot of the clothes from that era look like they were made out of gingham tablecloth.

  60. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 23, 2012 at 19:11

    On the other hand, black leather jackets!

  61. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 23, 2012 at 19:32

    . I just meant that the 50s had a lot of nice clothes and it would be cool if everybody dressed like that again.

    WE WORE HATS!

  62. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 23, 2012 at 19:40

    My family moved in 56 to the small town in backwoods PA where I was born, from Stamford CT. Mom often told the story of the people being shocked and confused by my oldest brothers’ (ages ~15 or so) flat-top haircuts and saddle shoes. they eventually recovered.

  63. Crissa said,

    November 23, 2012 at 21:15

    I suppose he wouldn’t want to know that a large number of transwomen remain in their relationships despite the awkwardness that revealing who they are entails.

    I’m glad Lana was able to come out… I know many who start their careers under one name and just basically use it as a nom de plume, never revealing their real self to the world. It’s a different sort of coming out than for LGB types, and much more heart wrenching to come out after one is already known as their preferred gender.

    Of course, this is something that makes a stark difference between Republicans and Democrats.

  64. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 23, 2012 at 22:15

    Cannot fathom why someone would think this is worthy of writing a column about, except for the uncontrollable urge to go out of one’s way to bully a total stranger and all of her peers. As a straight guy with several close friends who’ve come out as trans I can say, sure: it’s awkward to get used to using new names and pronouns for people you’ve known for years, but it’s an easy awkwardness to get over if you actually care about other people. Who the fuck is McCain to swoop in like he’s some sort of authority on the subject? Fuck him and the mind-controlling cult leader he rode in on.

  65. Gabriel Ratchet said,

    November 25, 2012 at 1:53

    These are the same guys who complain that Christians are the most persecuted people of all time when someone wishes them a “happy holidays” instead of a “merry Christmas”, right?

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