Nov
16

One Last Nutpunch to the Corpse of The Smiler




Posted at 4:03 by Cerberus

And then Spider Jerusalem hits him with the Bowel Disruptor, just to rub it in.

Ashley Parker, New York Times blog: The Caucus:
Romney Blames Loss on Obama’s ‘Gifts’ to Minorities and Young Voters

Ah, we are finally entering the long lull where we never again have to think of The Smiler, or how narrowly we dodged the bullet of having a true sociopath as Leader of the “Free World”.

But before we let The Smiler go finally to the White Horse graveyard, let us give his departing hiney one last kick as it goes through the door.

And let us note just how perfect The Smiler was as a candidate for the wingnuts. Despite all their protestations about how very Mormon he was, no other candidate, not ratfucking Nixon nor treason-in-service-to-getting-elected Reagan, has ever more perfectly captured the exact moral character of today’s wingnuts.

Only someone as willfully deluded as wingnuts could have been as legitimately shocked as The Smiler and his crew when they found out that all the polls really were right. Only someone as entitled and moronic as a wingnut could have thought that appealing to much needed latino and women voters was just a matter of calling latin@s racists for not supporting the white guy who hated them and appointing Paul “women deserve to be raped” Ryan as Vice President.

And as such The Smiler exits with much the same anguished cry that wingnuts have been entertaining us this past week. Specifically:

Shorter The Smiler(or the last port before Jungle):

  • If only those niggers, spics, cunts, and those damn fag-loving whipper-snappers had realized that they aren’t real people and aren’t allowed to vote or be at all served by government, then I could have secured my birthright as prophesied! If there isn’t a better example of election fraud, I’ve yet to hear it!

Let’s jump in, shall we?

Saying that he and his team still felt “troubled” by his loss to President Obama,

Awww, does baby have a boo-boo? Then let me just twist the knife and make it all better.

Mitt Romney on Wednesday attributed his defeat in part to what he called big policy “gifts” that the president had bestowed on loyal Democratic constituencies, including young voters, African-Americans and Hispanics.

Gifts?!? Why scandal and outrage! Never before has a political candidate promised gifts to the electorate if they would only give them their vote! Like promising everyone in the USA a tax cut while having no cuts to popular programs. That sort of thing would just be wrong.

In a conference call with fund-raisers and donors to his campaign, Mr. Romney said Wednesday afternoon that the president had followed the “old playbook” of using targeted initiatives to woo specific interest groups — “especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people.”

OH MY FUCKING BOB! The nerve of that black devil!

Daring, I say, I say, Daring to… Have the gall to…

Er… campaign.

I know, I know. You were really sure that the combination of voter suppression, unlimited funding, voter intimidation, and outright fraud would steal you the election from those whiny little 99%ers, but as long as we’re still pretending to be a democracy, you still needed the majority of people to vote for you. Or at least an electoral majority of the states.

Acting like it’s against the rules for people to campaign against you is one of the chief reasons that you got your ass handed to you as brutally as you did. And thank Bob for that. But hey, it’s not like you’re about to say something really offensive or nothi-

“With regards to the young people, for instance, a forgiveness of college loan interest was a big gift,” Mr. Romney said. “Free contraceptives were very big with young, college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people. They turned out in large numbers, a larger share in this election even than in 2008.”

The president’s health care plan, he said, was also a useful tool in mobilizing black and Hispanic voters. Though Mr. Romney won the white vote with 59 percent, according to exit polls, minorities coalesced around the president in overwhelming numbers: 93 percent of blacks and 71 percent of Hispanics.

“You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care, particularly if you don’t have it, getting free health care worth, what, $10,000 per family, in perpetuity — I mean, this is huge,” Mr. Romney said. “Likewise with Hispanic voters, free health care was a big plus. But in addition with regards to Hispanic voters, the amnesty for children of illegals, the so-called Dream Act kids, was a huge plus for that voting group.”

Oh yeah… that shit.

And don’t expect it to die anytime soon. Now that the right has literally thrown every trick its got at the American people and still has come up short, expect them to step up the call that anyone who isn’t a rich, white, male doesn’t count, shouldn’t vote, and should never be considered as something that exists by one’s government.

The Smiler and his fellow bottom-feeders in the jungles may lay it out a little more blunter than the usual talking heads will shortly, but the content won’t change.

Women, minorities, and young people being allowed to vote, having concerns that are not the perpetuation of a rich, white, male power structure at their expense, will more and more be viewed with the same suspicion and hostility that, well… we have been trained to view most Republican proposals with.

Now that the demographics look to officially be getting away from them, expect things to get a lot more openly fascist, a lot faster.

But hey, things will also get a lot less fraught as the wingnuts slowly begin to fade into the same obscurity that The Smiler now descends into.

He added that he was hoping to find a way for the close-knit group, which excelled in fund-raising but was ultimately unable to propel him into the Oval Office, “to stay connected so that we can stay informed and have influence on the direction of the party, and perhaps the selection of a future nominee, which, by the way, will not be me.” (He suggested an annual meeting, as well as a monthly newsletter.)

Ha ha ha, yeah, no, you deluded bastard, it definitely won’t be you. That was never ever an option.

Those smoky room fat cats that gave you an unlimited credit card are going to lose your number so fast, you’ll be selling boner pills next to Bob Dole before you can even finish saying goodbye.

But thanks for playing!

Ahhh… so refreshing.

The wingnuts will still be here for a long time yet and may yet have more tricks up their sleeves for disrupting our democracy. But perhaps, at long last, we are recovering our sanity as a nation and on the path to at long last repicking up the social and economic work we so casually left abandoned back in 1979.

Hey, I can dream, can’t I?


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Being an incurable optimist is invented by Louis Armstrong, but exploited by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

497 Comments »

  1. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:12

    Thurston!

  2. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:13

    Howl?
    ~

  3. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:14

    Fox News Captions Footage Of Illegal Border Crossings With ‘The Hispanic Vote’

  4. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:20

    Romney promised bigger gifts, just to fewer people.

  5. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:21

    Voter Fraud Isreal!

  6. John Revolta said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:25

    Sicksth!

  7. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:27

    Do go on.
    .

  8. Another Kiwi said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:30

    Couldn’t the Mittbot be set up in a park somewhere so that concerned citizens could go and nut punch the slowly rusting Randroid? I think it would be healing time for your divided nation (which is all Obama’s fault).

  9. wiley said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:30

    Huge turnout for liberal voters in the midterms is crucial if we want to get a glimpse of what Obama can do with liberals taking the House and Senate. Not “Democrats”— liberals. May Joe Lieberman start rotting in hell NOW.

  10. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:34

    There once was a loser called Mitt
    Who couldn’t man up and admit
    That his loss was his fault
    A face-planting pole-vault
    Into mountains of steaming bullshit.

  11. Jennifer said,

    November 16, 2012 at 4:56

    “With regards to the young people, for instance, a forgiveness of college loan interest was a big gift,” Mr. Romney said. “Free contraceptives were very big with young, college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people. They turned out in large numbers, a larger share in this election even than in 2008.”

    Yeah, free contraceptives for all the young sluts. Except, you know, for the fact that whoever is paying the premium – either the young slut herself with an individual plan or as part of her employment compensation – is paying for that “free” contraception. Also too with the “gift” of “free” health insurance for the young people, which is free because their parents are paying the premium, again with an individual plan or as part of the compensation they get from their employer.

    The president’s health care plan, he said, was also a useful tool in mobilizing black and Hispanic voters. Though Mr. Romney won the white vote with 59 percent, according to exit polls, minorities coalesced around the president in overwhelming numbers: 93 percent of blacks and 71 percent of Hispanics.

    The blahs and spics all turned out to vote for that sweet, sweet “free” healthcare, not because Rmoney’s party spent the last 5 years doing everything short of screaming “nigger nigger NIGGER!!!” at the top of their lungs and openly calling Hispanic immigrants “beaners” and “wetbacks.” And then transparently attempting to take away the right to vote from them.

    Seriously. It’s as if they believe that blacks and Hispanics are deaf, that their dog-whistles are so high-pitched that only white bufords can hear them.

    If I had to apportion credit (or blame, as Rmoney would color it) for the higher turnout of black, Hispanic, and young female voters last Tuesday, I’d give 2/3 of it to the Obama campaign for not only acknowledging that these people are also citizens and doing a masterful job of working to turn them out, and 1/3 of it to Rmoney, various and sundry lunatic bigmouthed Republicans, and the rightwing media, for consistently making it abundantly clear that those people don’t matter, they are inferior, they don’t know what’s in their own best interests, they shouldn’t be allowed to vote, and for in general scaring the living dogshit out of them with their crazification.

    Contrary to post-mortem analysis, the Republicans really didn’t do all that bad a job of turning out the vote…it’s just that they were much better at turning people out to vote for Obama than they were at turning them out to vote for Rmoney.

  12. the prince of death said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:03

    I think Mitt Romney appointed Paul Ryan as his VP because he felt that having a CHILD-EATING OGRE on the ticket would intimidate people into voting for him.

  13. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:04

    The president’s health care plan, he said, was also a useful tool in mobilizing black and Hispanic voters.

    Romneycare was DIFFERENT.

  14. Calming Influence said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:18

    Yeah, and by the way, where the fuck is my free phone? I voted for Obama all damn day, and I still haven’t gotten my free phone…

  15. Jennifer said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:20

    I kept wondering if the Obamaphone was kind of like the Bat Signal.

  16. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:33

    perhaps, at long last, we are recovering our sanity as a nation and on the path to at long last repicking up the social and economic work we so casually left abandoned back in 1979.

    The former seems to be getting steadily more elusive, even as the latter becomes a matter of life & death … & not just for the poors, either.

    There was a lot of noise made about how Superstorm Sandy helped Obama, but there was another little trivial detail in the closing days of the campaign that I think really put the boots to the GOP hard, from the top of the ticket down. Explicit real-world evidence that laissez-faire literally kills = not exactly great news for the Free Marketeers. Then you had the edifying spectacle of the GOP Congressvermin blatantly arm-twisting Congressional researchers to withdraw a study that says tax breaks for the Jerb Craterz does nothing to increase employment … not to mention that Sandy made a lot of AGW skeptics into believers overnight (& the smart money’s betting that trend will accelerate apace).

    Look for the REAL epic butthurt to set in when the Wingnut Welfare Gravy Train starts to dry up in the private sphere as the Power Elite focus their monetary Death Star on lawmakers, no longer giving much of a shit what the proles think any more.

    Bad time to be a wingnut.

    Huge turnout for liberal voters in the midterms primaries is crucial if we want to get a glimpse of what Obama can do with liberals taking the House and Senate.

    Fixed that for you.

  17. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:33

    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Obamaphone

  18. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:37

    sharing

  19. paleotectonics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 5:50

    I lost my Obamaphone, but luckily I was able to call it from my other Obamaphone. My ringtone, by Will. I. Am, was instantly recognizable. Dreadful, but recognizable.

  20. paleotectonics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 6:00

    per tigris link:

    Drives me crazy too. Howzabout kicking him outta the CIA because he is a ruthlessly self-promoting bloodthirsty monster?

    People slap uglies. Holy dammit, the realization is earth-shattering. Gosh golly whillikers, my virgin ears have been defenestrated or something.

  21. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 6:28

    Except, you know, for the fact that whoever is paying the premium – either the young slut herself with an individual plan or as part of her employment compensation – is paying for that “free” contraception. Also too with the “gift” of “free” health insurance for the young people, which is free because their parents are paying the premium, again with an individual plan or as part of the compensation they get from their employer.

    Exactly. But remember, this is a guy who has mad math skillz, yet his level of analysis (unless he’s lying*) is equivalent to those hapless folks who think progressive taxation means you can take home less (net) by having part of your gross income fall into a higher tax bracket.

    *This is a guy who can figure out how to get $90 million into an IRA, but he feigns misunderstanding insurance premiums, risk pools and so on.

    Oh well, everybody knows his erstwhile allies are not eviscerating him only because that’d make them look bad. They’re all gonna play games, but the press and various oppositions should just laugh and mock mercilessly. I mean c’mon … they’re saying that the move from prole to lower-middle class is a no brainer (don’t do it!) because you’ll have less stuff. Not so!

    The lucky duckies are people who have less now, or nothing, or negative assets and privileges. The victims are those who have more than ever, however you measure. Try to keep a straight face. Try and do it, if you prefer.

  22. El Manquécito said,

    November 16, 2012 at 7:01

    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Obamaphone

    Scan this into the Carol of the Bells and you’ve got your first big SN! xmas hit.

    Baritones: obamaphone, obamaphone, …

    Sopranos: ring, ring, ring, ring, ….

    Altos: ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

  23. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    November 16, 2012 at 7:50

    I kept wondering if the Obamaphone was kind of like the Bat Signal.

    I thought it was just going to be like the Sports Illustrated football phone. You vote and they send you the Obamaphone and a free year-long subscription to health care, with the swimsuit issue.

  24. Ring, ring! said,

    November 16, 2012 at 8:14

    Hey, Mitt! There’s a message for you on the Obamaphone!

    It says, “Fuck you and the white horse you rode in on!”

  25. Greedy One Percenter said,

    November 16, 2012 at 8:21

    “You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care

    Who do these $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year losers think they are, anyway, getting free health care?

    Why don’t they borrow money from their parents if they need health care?

  26. Irion said,

    November 16, 2012 at 8:31

    “You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care

    Who do these $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year losers think they are, anyway, getting free health care?

    Why don’t they borrow money from their parents if they need health care?

    Real Americans don’t need healthcare! They just cure cancer by pulling themselves up by their bootstraps!

  27. tensor said,

    November 16, 2012 at 8:43

    “One last nutpunch…”

    Why such restraint, Cerbs? You starting New Year’s resolutions early or something? Given how he’s already riding the Waaaaambulance, multiple junk-punches might be just what his Robamacare-supplied doctor ordered.

  28. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 16, 2012 at 9:23

    Romney promised bigger gifts, just to fewer people.

    That’s the funny thing. The most pathetic thing about Mitt was that, even with his millions, he was still “The Help”. I’d be willing to bet that billionaire Sheldon Adelson made him enter through the kitchen.

    Poor Mitt- he’ll never be President, and he’ll never be a billionaire.

  29. Alex said,

    November 16, 2012 at 9:33

    Actually the motherfucker promised everybody in the country a 20% tax cut, and promised that these tax cuts would not grow the deficit because they would be revenue neutral tax cuts.

    Romney basically promised everyone free money, and now the son of a bitch has the temerity to bitch about Obama giving stuff to people.

  30. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 16, 2012 at 9:36

    It says, “Fuck you and the white horse you rode in on!”

    In accordance with the prophecy.

  31. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 16, 2012 at 9:50

    Awww. Crunchy Con Dreher haz a sad for not-ordained-by-god Mitt.

  32. Marsupial said,

    November 16, 2012 at 9:57

    (He suggested an annual meeting, as well as a monthly newsletter.)

    Doesn’t anyone find his ideas intriguing, or wish to subscribe to his newsletter?!?

  33. tensor said,

    November 16, 2012 at 10:34

    Doesn’t anyone find his ideas intriguing, or wish to subscribe to his newsletter?!?

    We were put off by the “annual meeting with Mitt” part. Some types of masochism dispirit even us, which is really saying something.

  34. wiley said,

    November 16, 2012 at 10:39

    You’re right Jim. The primaries AND the midterms.

  35. Eustace P. McGargle said,

    November 16, 2012 at 10:43

    The main “gift”: a little over 4 years in which being a registered Democrat will NOT be legally defined as an act of treason.

  36. Thursday said,

    November 16, 2012 at 10:43

    I’m still stunned that 50 million+ people thought Romney was the better choice. Frankly, you’d think that the fellow who chose the one guy who would drop his approval among his only secure demographic would have his decision making abilities questioned by supporters.

    Seriously, did anyone on the right think the guy proposing a voucher system for medicare would do anything but hurt their chances with old white folks?

  37. Gerald Fnord said,

    November 16, 2012 at 12:55

    Meanwhile, Romney continues to give us gifts.

  38. Cole said,

    November 16, 2012 at 14:06

    Romney’s public reactions, along with others on the Dark Side, illustrate nicely that they aren’t MERELY evil, cynical fucks manipulating a system already rigged in their favor for personal gain at the expense of present and future generations or real people–the also REALLY DO NOT GROK THE BASIC CONCEPTS OF DEMOCRACY.

    Seriously? Forget the assholishness of claiming that adequate healthcare, basic quality of life, job security, support for families, etc., are “gifts,” these fuckers are openly claiming that the very concept of elected officials promoting policies that the people want is tantamount to bribing them. And they seem to have no idea how ignorant they sound, as if it were obvious to everyone that governing (or pretending to govern) the way the majority voting public demands is cheating.

    If they don’t know they sound ignorant, they must actually be ignorant. How could fellows with all the advantages of wealth, power and influence in America be ignorant of such basic principles? Simplest explanation (once you discount they are play-acting) is that they are literally insane.

    We’ve all made noises about how psycho these guys are, but I don’t believe it is an exaggeration to suggest that most of them are not sane, and it’s only their vast wealth that keeps them undiagnosed yet off the streets.

  39. Cole said,

    November 16, 2012 at 14:48

    I suppose this stance could be explained by their paternalistic authoritarianism, which argues that the purpose of government is to impose uniformity in the interests of maintaining a stable base of peasants for the handful of real people to act out a feudal society, but that is anti-democratic.

    I’ve no doubt that all these wingnuts and their gawd-appointed leaders believe this to be the destiny of mankind to suffer under the yoke of petty tyrants and generational aristocrats, but they seem confused as to what the rest of us call democracy and why this nation (among others) decided to give it a try some 2.5 centuries ago.

    Folks like Romney seem utterly unable to discern feudalism from democracy, which suggests they have difficulty with perceiving and comprehending reality.

    So, again, I lean to some cognitive disfunction at work here. They are nasty pieces of work, no doubt, but I believe they are UNAWARE of their nastiness.

  40. N__B said,

    November 16, 2012 at 14:48

    If the only tool you have is money, everyone looks like a bagman.

  41. Greedy One Percenter said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:00

    If the only tool you have is money , everyone looks like a prostitute…

  42. Greedy One Percenter said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:09

    They also REALLY DO NOT GROK THE BASIC CONCEPTS OF DEMOCRACY.

    This is what they mean when they say “run this country like a business”… And other dumb shit like “the government is going bankrupt”…

    They mean the boss is in charge, and if you don’t like it, fuck you, there’s the door…

    They mean the boss and the board of directors shouldn’t give a shit about the environment, or old people, or sick people, or human rights,, because all these things are just “externalities”…

    They mean “Privatize the profits, socialize the costs!”

  43. Cole said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:20

    And that, of course, is the difference between top-down “governing” and “democracy-if-you-can-keep-it.”

  44. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:26

    You didn’t dodge that bullet, you just happened to turn down the sociopath in this particular instance.

  45. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:28

    Hey remember all the hooferaw about Alan Grayson’s characterization of the GOP health care plan? “Don’t get sick. If you do get sick, die quickly.”

    Mitt here is acknowledging that there are folks who would have to give up 40% of their total gross income in order to afford insurance. And also states that assisting these people in any way is morally wrong and amounts to bribery.

  46. hidflect said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:31

    voMitt had his salty brand of crazy baked right into every square box of double-dipping, white nachos. Each wrapped lovingly in home-made, magic underwear delivered express from the planet Kook. Shame no one bought them off the shelf where they lingered by the boxful going stale. Bad marketing was to blame.

  47. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:35

    Howzabout kicking him outta the CIA because he is a ruthlessly self-promoting bloodthirsty monster?

    Before we kick the adulterers out of the CIA, can we lose the murderers and torturers?

    Folks like Romney seem utterly unable to discern feudalism from democracy, which suggests they have difficulty with perceiving and comprehending reality.

    They can tell the difference, its just they are rich enough to know that with feudalism they would be the kings and queens and with democracy they are just another vote. They talk about freedom, but what they really want is impunity.

  48. El Manquécito said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:39

    Shame no one bought them off the shelf where they lingered by the boxful going stale. Bad marketing was to blame.

    Knowing the efficacy of the Mormon food distribution industry they’ll probably show up in the freezer section of the Marshall Islands, the Marianas or Tonga, priced to sell and only slightly stale.

  49. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 16, 2012 at 15:45

    Seriously. I mean if he were just out of touch and had no idea what the cost of insurance was or maybe was in the dark about how much people make – but looks like he can ballpark the numbers fine.

    $10K for insurance – well for non-smoking, healthy people with no problematic medical history, that seems about right.
    $25K income – That is the 45th percentile.

    Meaning that there are lots and lots of folks who are in much worse shape than the worst off in Mitt’s example, but his portrayal of this group is not completely unrepresentative. His understanding of the magnitude of health care costs and the resources available to a typical American is at least reasonably close. Totally unlike what we’ve come to expect from Republicans.

    And he’s saying that THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. That trying to address this problem is morally wrong.

  50. N__B said,

    November 16, 2012 at 16:00

    Apparently Hostess will choose going out of business over negotiating with striking workers. The One Percent: they’re just like us! They’re also Twinkieless.

  51. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 16:31

    Nobody should be eating that shit anyway. That being said, that thought doesn’t comfort me much in the face of working people losing their jobs.

  52. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 16:32

    That.

  53. histrogeek said,

    November 16, 2012 at 16:40

    “Gifts?” Bite me Mitt. Considering the looting of the Treasury and the economy for GOP constituencies during the Bush years, at least many more people are getting goodies.
    Mitt really does seem to think his folk are a breed apart. I wish he’d shut the fuck up though. You lost assmunch, go talk with Dole or Dukakis (Kerry and McCain at least have jobs).

  54. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 16, 2012 at 16:51

    “Gifts?” Bite me Mitt. Considering the looting of the Treasury and the economy for GOP constituencies during the Bush years

    This. A thousand times this. How much has Raytheon and Boeing and Halliburton and Exxon made since 2001? I’m pretty sure they didn’t give their products and services to the government for free and keep the doors open but having a really good bake sale, or by putting on a show down at the community center.

    Although, now that I think about it, that could be an awesome movie, a struggling defense contractor has to put on a show to keep the doors open, or a mean vegan local foods co-op will buy the place out, knock it down and put up a wheatgrass smoothie shop / yoga studio / feminist bookstore on the premises.

  55. g said,

    November 16, 2012 at 16:56

    “You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year,

    No, actually, I don’t think Romney CAN imagine being somebody making $25,000 a year.

  56. the prince of death said,

    November 16, 2012 at 17:14

    Helmut Monotreme, you should try sending your script treatment to David Zucker.

  57. the prince of death said,

    November 16, 2012 at 17:23

    tigris, that Jezebel article missed one important point about the Petraeus scandal. It was a ginned up scandal intended to be an October surprise for Obama. (Part of the Benghazi “scandal” they were also trying to gin up, but that didn’t have any legs because Mitt Romney and the Child-Eating Ogre were such terrible campaigners as well as being terrible people.)

    That sounds so nice, October surprise… I guess a post-election November surprise isn’t as good.

  58. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 17:55

    My ringtone, by Will. I. Am, was instantly recognizable. Dreadful, but recognizable.

    i had a dreadful entanglement with redneck wingnut over obamaphones…i won, of course, but that’s beside the point…

    last night at work hubbkf texted me to call his cell phone…so i did…i asked what up? he just wanted to hear his new ringtone for me: ‘country girl shake it for me’…i continue to shake my head…

  59. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 16, 2012 at 17:57

    I suppose this stance could be explained by their paternalistic authoritarianism, which argues that the purpose of government is to impose uniformity in the interests of maintaining a stable base of peasants for the handful of real people to act out a feudal society, but that is anti-democratic.

    I’ve no doubt that all these wingnuts and their gawd-appointed leaders believe this to be the destiny of mankind to suffer under the yoke of petty tyrants and generational aristocrats, but they seem confused as to what the rest of us call democracy and why this nation (among others) decided to give it a try some 2.5 centuries ago.

    Folks like Romney seem utterly unable to discern feudalism from democracy, which suggests they have difficulty with perceiving and comprehending reality.

    Ding! Ding! Ding! we have a winner.

    The one thing you got wrong is about them being unaware of their nastiness- as Paul Weyrich noted, they know it, but they just don’t give a shit.

  60. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 17:59

    Thurston!

    We have a winner! Now someone needs to guess Fenwick’s first name…

  61. kg said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:01

    Hey I grew up in Schiller Park, IL. and went to school only a couple blocks away from the factory that gave birth to the Twinkie. Kids were constantly swiping stuff from the trucks. It may be nasty stuff but I’ll always have a soft spot for SuzieQs.

  62. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:01

    Terry.

  63. kg said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:02

    Literally a soft spot. I’ve been diagnosed with a gelatinous duodenum.

  64. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:03

    bbfk : Before I try to ketchup this thread (from the very start, no less), kudos and compliments for sharing the ‘conversation’ with the idjit in the last thread. I really liked the long answer; the edited shorter answer was a perfect distillation.

    Okay, now I’ll start to ketchup. *sigh*

  65. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:09

    thanks, fenwick…and i’m guessing your first name is lovey…

  66. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:10

    Hey I grew up in Schiller Park, IL. and went to school only a couple blocks away from the factory that gave birth to the Twinkie. Kids were constantly swiping stuff from the trucks. It may be nasty stuff but I’ll always have a soft spot for SuzieQs.

    oh, jeeze imma miss the ho-hos and ding dongs…even though i haven’t had one in ages…twinkies, however…meh…

  67. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:11

    Commenter at B^4′s Dreher link: I feel for him. I think he is probably agenuinely good man and would have msde a great role model for the country. Alas, it is a model that has become unfashionable.

    Yeah, we just don’t love the good old heartless, hypocritical, lying, out-of-touch super-rich assholes these days, not like when we lionized such heroes as Mr Potter.

    And he’s saying that THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. That trying to address this problem is morally wrong.

    And yet is there a single person who doesn’t think he wouldn’t have run on bringing Romneycare to the nation if the ACA hadn’t passed? That was the ONLY positive in his record, the only thing that separated him from the pack of crazy-eyed frothers in the primaries. I guess what I think he’s saying is that it’s only morally wrong if Democrats do it. Or more to the point, I think he has no moral core and no moral barometer except what serves his interests, so he judges the morality of the exact same action differently if it helps him vs hurts him. Not a role I think we need modeled.

  68. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:12

    also, no new email today…did he finally figure it out? or is he feverishly researching and asking questions boldly?…i wonder where he got that line? maybe hitler said it…who knows…i do know one thing though: why my mother drinks…

  69. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:16

    anyone who isn’t a rich, white, male doesn’t count, shouldn’t vote, and should never be considered as something that exists by one’s government.

    Sorta like the Founding Fathers, in other words. (Cerb: What do have against Constitutional Originalism and reading the oh-so-dry tea leaves of the Founders intent?)

  70. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:17

    I feel for him. I think he is probably agenuinely good man and would have msde a great role model for the country. Alas, it is a model that has become unfashionable.

    this is one thing i will never get…how can any person think mitt is a ‘genuinely good man’ when all the evidence points to the contrary? the only things i hear these people praising is that he’s stayed married to his sociopath wife for a zillion years, sired many sons and is vehement about church….never mind that he screwed a shit tonne of people over, has a sadistic sense of humor and is a bald faced liar…

    and srsly?! whose flesh does NOT crawl when they see him…or is that just me?

    what am i missing here sheeple? connect the dots for me!!!

  71. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:27

    Contrary to post-mortem analysis, the Republicans really didn’t do all that bad a job of turning out the vote…it’s just that they were much better at turning people out to vote for Obama than they were at turning them out to vote for Rmoney. — Jennifer

    She shoots; she scores.

  72. Pryme said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:30

    Take that, “Supreme Court Justices Nomination Process!”

  73. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:35

    Seriously. It’s as if they believe that blacks and Hispanics are deaf, that their dog-whistles are so high-pitched that only white bufords can hear them.

    No Jennifer, it’s not, I don’t think. They don’t care. Not least because those subhumans just don’t matter – they don’t even _think_ about the reality, destiny is theirs, they are entitled to rule. See my comment to bbkf yesterday about delusionals.

  74. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:39

    tigris: Thanx for the Jezebel link.

  75. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:52

    Hey I grew up in Schiller Park, IL. and went to school only a couple blocks away from the factory that gave birth to the Twinkie. Kids were constantly swiping stuff from the trucks. It may be nasty stuff but I’ll always have a soft spot for SuzieQs.

    I loved that kind of stuff as a kid, I think in no small part due to the fact that I was almost never allowed to have it.

    As an adult I am less than impressed with the taste.

  76. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:58

    Now someone needs to guess Fenwick’s first name…

    Someting very much like Dutch or Dutchy, DUH.

  77. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:01

    Before we kick the adulterers out of the CIA, can we lose the murderers and torturers?

    This would involve disbanding the entire agency.

    And I’d be fine with that.

  78. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:02

    what am i missing here sheeple? connect the dots for me!!!

    Simple: it all, and I mean all, boils down to “he’s not a gawdamn ni[CLANG!]“

  79. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:08

    And thanx to BBBB for the White Horse Prophecy link.

    Most of what I know about Mormonism I learned from a gay colleague who had come out and was ‘excommunicated’ (or something similar) by the church … and is now completely shunned by his family and former Mormon friends.

    I also learned from South Park, of course:

    Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb.

  80. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:11

    Most of what I know about Mormonism I learned from a gay colleague who had come out and was ‘excommunicated’ (or something similar) by the church … and is now completely shunned by his family and former Mormon friends.

    oooooh…wasn’t that the lifetime movie ‘the 19th gay wife”?

  81. tsam will bogart your thread said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:12

    Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    November 16, 2012 at 18:01

    Terry.

    It’s tsam, actually.

  82. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:12

    Simple: it all, and I mean all, boils down to “he’s not a gawdamn ni[CLANG!]“

    i don’t buy it…i’ve heard totally non-racist people say it…perhaps it is he’s not a gawdamn ni[CLANG!] muslin?

  83. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:13

    This would involve disbanding the entire agency.

    And I’d be fine with that.

    No it wouldn’t. There would still be snitches, snoops, spies, spooks, stool pigeons, femmes fatale, burglars, sneaks, frauds, cheats, peeping toms, honey pots, smugglers, thieves, safe-crackers, con men, etc. Plus the assorted grab bag of hackers, phone tappers code breakers and analysts.

    I have no problem with watching what our enemies are up to, and only a little problem with watching what our potential enemies are up to. It’s the kidnapping torture and murder that really gets under my skin.

  84. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:16

    t’s the kidnapping torture and murder that really gets under my skin thumbnails.

  85. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:18

    you know, i should really thank my mom’s asshat husband…after all, it was one of his delusional, condescending emails that made me first post here….ahhhh…good times…goooood times…

  86. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:19

    Sometimes I get jealous I never to get to spar with wingnuts.

  87. gocart mozart said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:22

    Roderick F. Fenwick

  88. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:27

    Sometimes I get jealous I never to get to spar with wingnuts.

    well, c’mon out to wingnuttia, sister! we have a lovely guest room…and we could schedule in numerous interactions with the local wingnuts…and if you really want, we can fly out to mesa so you can meet the asshattiest of all the wingnuts…think of it as one of those adventure vacations…

  89. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:30

    MUST SHARE.

  90. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:30

    I made something that would be appropriate for this post. Certain upside-downers will really enjoy my choice of typeface also. Too. Rilly.

  91. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:33

    MUST SHARE.

    “Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics, and Bronies”

  92. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:40

    No it wouldn’t. There would still be snitches, snoops, spies, spooks, stool pigeons, femmes fatale, burglars, sneaks, frauds, cheats, peeping toms, honey pots, smugglers, thieves, safe-crackers, con men, etc. Plus the assorted grab bag of hackers, phone tappers code breakers and analysts.

    I thought “round up the usual suspects and torture them until they tell us what we want to hear” had replaced all of that quaint old stuff.

  93. El Manquécito said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:44

    I thought “round up the usual suspects and torture them until they tell us what we want to hear” had replaced all of that quaint old stuff.

    Bureaucracy never retreats, it accretes. Sure you’ve got lots of new black sites, torturers, kidnappers, etc. but you can’t let the dug-in featherbedders go or you’d have your budget reduced.

  94. bughunter said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:56

    There once was a loser called Mitt

    Applause!

    Even though the final rhyme is an obvious one, the execution was redolent!

  95. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 19:58

    Uploader comment at the “LOTR Reenacted by Ponies” youtube link:

    I believe our fandom has come a long, long way for a masterpiece like? this to be produced. We are truly blessed with an abundance of incredibly creative and talented artists, and I can’t think of any other fandom that has accomplished as much as bronies have, especially in such a short time. Thank you jjkmovies for making this, and thank you to all pony-loving kind for being so awesome. It’s been almost a year since I discovered the magic of friendship, and I’m damn proud to call myself a brony.

    One thing I learned from Something Awful’s expose on bronies is that they are compulsive circle-jerkers, figuratively speaking of course. It’s half My Little Pony, half OMG our subculture is so awesome it’s blowing my mind!

  96. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:07

    Uploader comment at the “LOTR Reenacted by Ponies” youtube link:

    i read that and was fervently hoping that commenter was being facetious…please tell me the commenter was being facetious…

  97. Bob Kelley said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:09

    Willard, as always, proves to be truly an exceptional candidate. Almost every losing candidate, especially those who know this is their Last Hurrah, manage to force out a few graceful statements like “the American people have spoken, and I respect their choice” or “I take personal responsibility for failing to frame our message in a way that would appeal to more voters.” Not this buffoon.

  98. Marion in Savannah said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:11

    Sometimes I get jealous I never to get to spar with wingnuts.

    You must come to Savannah. We’re right across the river from South Carolina in case you don’t find the Georgia flavor of wingnut to your liking. The South Carolina ones are ESPECIALLY nutty.

  99. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:12

    Something Awful’s expose on bronies

    I had not seen that before. Now I would like to unsee a bunch of it.

  100. creature said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:15

    The crushing defeat of the SmilingRichFuck & BoyRandroid has disjointed the wingnut masses. I’ve had more Benghazi!Benghazi!Benghazi!!! and Secession now! Secession then! Secession Forevah!!! stuff from my wingnut ‘friends’ than before the elekshun! None of these folks is in the $250K and up range, although a few are in the low 6-figures. In other words, on the nearly-rich bubble of almost rich. And, surprisingly, they are all white guys! Except the one woman who is on disability, married to one of the almost-well-to-do guys- a retired public employee with a 6-figure pension, and she’s convinced that ‘they’ are coming for her guns and money! Too much sowshallism! Goddam commies! Government’s the problem!

    No self-awareness, no morals, no compassion- and no Lord&MasteroftheUniverse in the White(guy) House to make all her dreams come true!

    Rmoney & Ryayn are the role models, and true leaders of these people. R&R just got more money and less need to contact, them and the other ‘parasites’ and wanna-be rich guys out ‘there’.

    Fuck ‘em all!

    As for ‘Death of Twinkie’, if the company had seen the dietary trends, and really cared about the company’s future and that of their employees- they would have moved in an entirely different direction. It’s sad those folks are joining ‘Dubya’s Domestic War Casualties’ on the unemployment rolls, hopefully the bankruptcy court shifts any assets/cash to the pension fund and severance pay for them. The union didn’t make all the stupid decisions that killed the company, the union made the product that made the company what it was. Short-sighted and greedy management made it what it is today.

    Fuck HostessCo., too!

  101. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:23

    Heh heh heh indeed … when I told teh n00b at work this morning that my relief had arrived, he happily chirped, “That’s good! She knows what she’s doing!”

    Little bugger was a mere accent away from burning me down with a dose of premium snark, but ehh – I couldn’t not just smile anyway. The LOLgodz promptly opted to UNLEASH THE FUCKING FURY on my labonza when he immediately recovered with “You know what you’re doing too” (oh methinks he better be right, because I’d just trained him).

    The lip pain may’ve passed but the bite-mark lives on.

    Meanwhile, Willard is shotgunning RedBull & yelling at Rafalca: GET TO DA CH0PPAH!!!!!” (ARGUABLY VERY NSFW, U FR33X!)

  102. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:23

    Sometimes I get jealous I never to get to spar with wingnuts.

    I get tired of it. Most of the guys I fly with seem to range from somewhat conservative to full metal wingnut. I really hate getting into an argument with a Captain on day 1 of a 7-day pairing.

    I’ve taken to paying attention to sports just so I have something to change the subject to.

    Captain: “$&!!***# Obama!!!!”
    Me: “So, how about those Giants?”

  103. Another Kiwi said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:36

    Helmut Before we kick the adulterers out of the CIA, can we lose the murderers and torturers?
    When you get the sweet spot in the bat to hit it, the ball streaks away and you don’t even feel the impact in the bat handle. Well hit, well hit.

  104. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:38

    I get tired of it. Most of the guys I fly with

    oh, hey…the wingnut pilot that got all up in my grill the evening after the election called me last night to apologize for being a dick (that night…not for his inherent dickitude)…shocked me, it did…

  105. N__B said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:46

    Sparring the wingnuts.

  106. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:48

    shocking the bbkf…

  107. N__B said,

    November 16, 2012 at 20:57

    That’s a song by Peter Gabriel, isn’t it?

  108. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:00

    only if peter gabriel were hot…

  109. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:02

    Major Kong, I read a WSJ article on the coming shortage of pilots. Then I read the slashdot discussion of that article. The consensus there was not ‘there will be a shortage of pilots’ but ‘there will be a shortage of pilots willing to spend years and $100 grand on training in order to work for starvation wages’. What are your thoughts?

  110. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:05

    knew it was too good to be true:

    Hi Sal,

    When I sent the information I did not know they were videos created by other than Agenda 21. What I knew was, if true, the message would have an impact on you and Aidy. So I passed the information along. I also passed along historical facts when eugenics have been perpetrated before. I passed along historical facts about how such an outlandish schemes were perpetrated before.

    Your response, its a political event, further its a personal attack because of your political beliefs, based on your assumption that you know my character, my political beliefs and history. You are assuming my character is so distorted that my goal in life is to convert people to my way of thinking. You have never asked. You assumed and attacked. Then begin the snubbing as if your some kind of superior being and I am not worthy of your good manners.

    I certainly do not think of Aidie’s well being as political discussion. I see a need for reliable funding. How do we get funding that we can control? We need the community where Aidy lives to prosper. Educated people prosper more than illiterate people. Rural communities, such as Ortonville, Odessa, Milbank, are going extinct. Our problem is not hopeless, there is no need to throw up our hands and quit.

    Since time begin education has been the source of improving one’s standard of living. If we keep doing what were doing to educated our children can we reasonably expect rural American communities to grow? We must change something or we will keep getting the same results. I say look at education. If the education we are delivering now is creating the results we’re getting than we must change our education curriculum or we can not “sustain” rural America.

    Since this Agenda 21 thing has come to the surface I have begin doing some research and came across two names that seem to be the genesis, Gro Brundland and Maurice Strong. Brundland I have never come across before. Strong is someone I have studied 3…4 years ago because of his involvement in couple of scandals. One concerning fresh water and another the Oil for Food scandal. This is a screen shot of my files.

    I tend to disagree with Maurice Strong’s views about the capability of individuals and his beliefs that individuals are incapable of taking care of themselves in business or in government.

    Apparently Strong and Brundland were involved in writing a report style book called “Our Common Future” that reportedly contains many of the same thoughts contained in Agenda 21.

    Mr Strong was the Earth Summit Conference Secretary-General and opened the UN conference in RIO de Janerio in 1992 as follows: “Current life styles and consumption patterns of the affluent middle class, involving high meat intake, the use of fossil fuels, electric appliances, home and work place air conditioning, and suburban housing, are not sustainable.”

    What catches my attention is “sustainable”. Mr Strong is suggesting that what is acceptable for the worlds societies is determined by someone’s or some committee’s definition of “sustainable”. If you live in a suburban community that is judged as not “sustainable” what happens?

    You can probably see my disagreement with the “suburban housing”… “not sustainable” idea because of my project to grow the populations of rural American communities. Since the first settlements in the New World we have known educated people can accomplish more than illiterate people. So my efforts have been focused on local education in opposition to the current centralize system that has guided the education of our rural communities during a period of decreasing population, communities going extinct, at 1% per year for many decades. According to published reports the United States has lost its former world leading standing in education and has a long record of decline.

    I share your concern that Aidy will not receive the same support she has been receiving. If we can not grow our local economies how will we have the funds for supporting Aidy? If more and more people join the ranks of welfare, food stamps and disabled that will increase the demand for government funding. That’s a problem, when committee’s need to decide what gets spent where. If the committee decides something is not “sustainable” can we reasonably expect they will continue to fund it? Mr Strong said “suburban housing”… “not sustainable”. If the committee uses the same standard for deciding who gets funding and who does not, could that committee decide rural American communities are basically “suburban housing”… and “not sustainable” therefore a waste of precious funding? Who defines “sustainable” seems critical.

    Take a broad view look at the area affected by hurricane Sandy. In areas where the local community lacks the resources to effect recovery, they are dependent on the judgment of a distant committee for resources/funding so that area can be “sustained”. One of the early judgements by the distant committee concerned fuel, who got it first? Then who got debris removal attention first, again because the local community lacked the resources (funding and or organization) to take care of themselves. Its a repeating pattern we witnessed with Ivan, Katrina and other lesser known storms. The local organized communities recover faster, every time. Locals decide if they are “sustainable”, locals decide priority and manage the application of precious, limited resources. Locals have a personal interest, no distant committee has a personal interest in a distant community or person.

    No one is more interested in Aidy than you. Hoping Aidy is judged “sustainable” so that funding will continue, may not be enough.

    not responding…

  111. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:09

    Captain: “$&!!***# Obama!!!!”
    Me: “So, how about those Giants?”

    I can see it being tough in a closed environment. I’d be hard pressed not to drop little aneurism-inducing barbs from time to time. Concern-trolling can be lots of fun, especially when slathered in unnoticed irony.

  112. Marion in Savannah said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:11

    Jeez, bbkf, you’ve got my sympathies… I’d have firebombed his house a long time ago. (Well, after I got your mom out of there first.)

  113. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:11

    I’ve been diagnosed with a gelatinous duodenum
    Which edition of the Monster Manual is that from?

    Certain upside-downers will really enjoy my choice of typeface also
    CLASSY.

  114. Yoop said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:16

    Re: asshat.
    My first thought was Heinlein’s “Never try to teach a pig to sing…”

  115. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:16

    Apparently Strong and Brundland were involved in writing a report style book called “Our Common Future” that reportedly contains many of the same thoughts contained in Agenda 21.

    It’s really too bad there’s no possible way whatsoever to find out if this is true or what insidious evil the “report style book” (my favorite style of book!) contains. Alas.

  116. tsam will bogart your thread said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:20

    Shock the Muffin was the Peter Gabriel song, I think.

    Shocking the muffin.

    Today’s shopworn inside joke brought to you by a total lack of creativity on the author’s part. YOU’RE WELCOME.

  117. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:22

    It’s really too bad there’s no possible way whatsoever to find out if this is true or what insidious evil the “report style book” (my favorite style of book!) contains. Alas.

    right? and also, too…what part of NON-BINDING RESOLUTION does he not get? the u.s. has done fuck-all with the resolution since they signed on…gee, why get his panties* in a twist now? hmmmmmmm…cuz the president’s a ni[clang!]? and glenn beck and fox news hate him? sounds like reason enough to me!

    *the last time my sister and our daughters visited out there, we left some laundry in the dryer when we went out on excursion #867 of that trip…when we came back, he had folded the laundry which was our ‘delicates’…he DID NOT need to use the dryer…he did it to be nice…NO, IT IS CREEPY!!!

  118. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:24

    not responding…

    Yeah, good call. He’s a hopeless case.

  119. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:25

    Today’s shopworn inside joke brought to you by a total lack of creativity on the author’s part. YOU’RE WELCOME.

    well at least you didn’t go with shock the muffin top…oh, funny story…yesterday, the home health nurse popped into my office carrying a cupcake and asked what it reminded me of…of course, the answer was PENIS…one of our doctor’s daughters bakes cupcakes and sells them at the hospital gift shop…she’s really pretty good for an elementary school aged tot and has some mad decorating skills…but this was supposed to be a cupcake ON a cupcake…which just looks like a penis…

  120. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:27

    I like the idea of aneurism inducing barbs. If one of these guys blows a gasket I get to move up one seniority number. It’s a win-win!

  121. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:33

    What catches my attention is “sustainable”. Mr Strong is suggesting that what is acceptable for the worlds societies is determined by someone’s or some committee’s definition of “sustainable”. If you live in a suburban community that is judged as not “sustainable” what happens?

    FEMA camps happen, that’s what!… But seriously, this guy fails to grasp that sustainability is a feature of some systems, whether or not anyone labels them as such. Further in: Locals decide if they are “sustainable,” locals decide real good-n-caring, blah blah. No: you can decide to eat steak three times a day, but you cannot meaningfully declare that it’s sustainable for lots of folks to do so. You could introduce changes in beef production to alter its impact, but that would require a level of seriousness beyond “we the people of Geezer Gulch believe flushin the toilet every five minutes is sustainable, YMMV.”

  122. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:39

    Here’s a good rant about the Hostess bankruptcy.

    Bankrupting the hostess.

    Filling the snack cake.

    Icing the cupcake.

  123. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:39

    If you live in a suburban community that is judged as not “sustainable” what happens?

    Someone has warned you that you will eventually run out of food and starve. Oh noes, SOMEONE HAS WARNED YOU!!!!

  124. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:50

    If you live in a suburban community that is judged as not “sustainable” what happens

    Someone has warned you that you will eventually run out of food and starve. Oh noes, SOMEONE HAS WARNED YOU!!!!

    Actually, what probably happens is tax credits for increasing one’s sustainability. I know, the horror.

  125. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:53

    Do these people think they’re going to be forcibly marched out of their suburban homes and into inner-city apartments? Are they really that fucking stupid?

  126. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:59

    Do these people think they’re going to be forcibly marched out of their suburban homes and into inner-city apartments? Are they really that fucking stupid?

    They don’t think that. They hope that. They want a righteous excuse to live off of their survival rations and go postal with their precious little arsenal.

  127. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:59

    Do these people think they’re going to be forcibly marched out of their suburban homes and into inner-city apartments? Are they really that fucking stupid?

    as has been pointed out regarding my ‘assumption and attack’ that we don’t know anything of their/his politics and character….uhhhhh…you watch fox news and glenn beck…and you have all of glenn beck’s books…that tells me quite a bit about your character and politics, thank you very much…

    also, too…yes, major…they ARE that fucking stupid…

  128. Marion in Savannah said,

    November 16, 2012 at 21:59

    Major Kong, yes. Yes they are.

  129. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:00

    I know, the horror.
    Nothing is worse than informing people that their lifestyles are possible only because of various subsidies keeping petrol prices artificially low. THE FASCISM OF INFORMATION.

  130. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:07

    Nothing is worse than informing people that their lifestyles are possible only because of various subsidies keeping petrol prices artificially low. THE FASCISM OF INFORMATION.

    also, too…telling people that, ‘hey, you may want to put the brakes on some consumption and think about overpopulating certain land masses so that we actually have a decent future on this planet’ is also hideously beyond the fucking pale…

  131. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:16

    Bankrupting the hostess.

    Filling the snack cake.

    Icing the cupcake.

    Filling the HoHos.
    Creaming the Ding Dongs.
    Dunking the Zingers.

  132. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:16

    THE FASCISM OF INFORMATION.

    GOOGLE IS TYRANNY!

    Hmm. Now that I think about it, we know these people have their own alternative to teh Wackypedia, but have they come up with their own search engine yet? How silly of me, of course they have.

  133. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:23

    OBS, I just read that Something Awful thing on bronies, and now I’m upset.

    I had always thought bronies were just guys who liked MLP in a mostly ironic way. Or thought the show was cute and funny in the way I think Spongebob is cute and funny. I had no idea it was mainly about, up, clopping to the ponies. And the rape jokes. Wow.

    Dr.KennethNoisewater, out.

  134. Gerald Fnord said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:24

    >the[y] also REALLY DO NOT GROK THE
    >BASIC CONCEPTS OF DEMOCRACY.

    I think that you are right that they don’t grok it because they think it to be fundamentally wrong, but I strongly doubt that they believe that what they want is feudalism.

    They (not I) honestly believe that the decisions of the Market are natural and good and wholesome…or at least optimal…so that the best society (which they don’t see as just meaning ‘…for them’, even though [surprise!] that’s how it works out—they really think that this were best for everyone, or at least everyone who isn’t a moocher) were one in which as many decisions as possible were up to the Market. Democracy does not weight the decisions of individuals by how well they do in the Market, which to them is equivalent to being useful to other people and creative and any other ‘purr words’ you might have handy—there is, as often, a weird resemblance to ’30s-era Stalinism, save with the ‘producers’ and ‘parasites’ interchanged. They want democracy, but one whose powers are severely limited, and particular one which can’t interfere with the Market.

    Of course, the Market they want is one in which the State backs the accumulation of property heaps impossible in the state of nature, and enforces contracts that might be morally repellant once their consequences were known, and includes, notably, the loss of personal responsibility created by limited liability…but these seem perfectly natural to them, so it’s not like the State is ‘really’ doing anything here.

    I think that a sign that the Left is better on-track than the Right is that I see on the Left more accurate analysis of what the Right wants, amidst some more hysterical such, than the converse. As people of the Enlightenment, we can’t afford to take the simple pleasure of acting as if these people weren’t the heroes in their own stories—we never have to agree with them about this, but we will not be able to be ready for them if we think they want things they might not even recognise…think of just how weird their caricatured view of what you believe is, and how badly it has helped them misjudge reality. We are not fundamentally better people than they (their belief that they and their natural supporters are better, if not by nature than by effort and talent, is one of their more obnoxious traits), so we have to be on guard against making similar mistakes.

  135. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:27

    Yeah, there’s the fascism of information but … Has anyone seen the freakout over Los Angeles meatless Mondays? City council decided to _endorse_ meatless Mondays and to _encourage_ people to participate. WE CAN’T HAVE HAMBURGERS! WHY CAN’T I HAVE A HAM SAMMICH? The Oreilly vid is hysterical, in every sense of the word. “Sex is just as bad as meat.”. And of course they equate making recommendations to improve one’s health with LIBERALS DON’T WANT THE GOVERNMENT IN THE BEDROOM BUT IT’S OKAY FOR THEM GET ONTO OUR PLATE!!!!!! PERSECUTION!!!!

    On my phoon so do the linky thing your own damn self.

  136. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:28

    OBS, I just read that Something Awful thing on bronies, and now I’m upset.

    Yes, it’s really rather disturbing. I seriously wish I could unsee it.

  137. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:30

    On my phoon so do the linky thing your own damn self.

    No way, after the brony thing O’Reilly would make me puke up my (meaty) lunch.

  138. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:35

    Yes, it’s really rather disturbing. I seriously wish I could unsee it.

    I didn’t watch the vids. I have a feeling I have narrowly averted a cause to drink copious amounts of gin.

  139. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:38

    And the rape jokes. Wow.

    Yeah, I read the FB “why don’t women like rape” thing to my husband and he said “please tell me you’re not clicking through to any site posting that. I don’t want people like that to even know your IP address.” We both felt icky even knowing people like that exist.

  140. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:41

    What? The government says no pony-fucking on Mondays? I have no pony but I am going to buy one and FUCK IT EVERY MONDAY!

  141. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:41

    “Sex is just as bad as meat.”

    !!!

  142. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:45

    I like the idea of aneurism inducing barbs. If one of these guys blows a gasket I get to move up one seniority number. It’s a win-win!

    I remember you saying something about “Get out of my seat, you old fuck” or some such.

    Thought I’d try and be helpful.

    It shouldn’t be hard to initiate a positive feedback loop in the rantings of a wingnut. They’re pretty much batshittery oscillators as it is. Stick a wedge in a blow-off valve, and who knows?

  143. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:46

    And of course they equate making recommendations to improve one’s health with LIBERALS DON’T WANT THE GOVERNMENT IN THE BEDROOM BUT IT’S OKAY FOR THEM GET ONTO OUR PLATE!!!!!!

    In the moral showdown between Meatless Mondays and Abstinence All Days, at least the meatless folks don’t refuse to let people know that meat exists.

  144. N__B said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:48

    “Pets or meat.” Or maybe petting or meat.

  145. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:51

    How silly of me, of course they have [a wingnut search engine]

    I tested it out with the term “bronies” … breitbart.com has weighed in and surprise (they’re one-trick-ponies), blames monolithic Hollywood for encouraging bronyism. The breitbart.com columnist declares the show’s producers “delighted,” although none of the quotes merit that description. The columnist continues:

    “Real men – and women – who have put aside the temptation to retreat into a frivolous fantasy world are tromping through the wilds of Afghanistan” to protect these “pathetic wierdos. It makes me want to wretch [sic].”

    Would the readers of breitbart.com would know anything about retreating into frivolous fantasy worlds? Say, macho orientalist adventures (see: tromping, Afghanistan)? Oh yes, but beyond that, the place is infested with bronies (“conservative brony and Breitbart regular here,” etc. etc.)

  146. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:53

    I like the idea of aneurism inducing barbs. If one of these guys blows a gasket I get to move up one seniority number. It’s a win-win!

    Maybe you could try some subliminal shit, e.g. “Hmm, what’s on the agenda? 21 minutes to lunch…”

  147. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:53

    Yeah, I read the FB “why don’t women like rape” thing to my husband and he said “please tell me you’re not clicking through to any site posting that. I don’t want people like that to even know your IP address.” We both felt icky even knowing people like that exist.

    Gee. Here’s a question: why don’t men like rape?

  148. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:54

    Has anyone seen the freakout over Los Angeles meatless Mondays?

    I like meat as much as the next guy. Heck, I really like meat. I still don’t have to have it every day. For that matter it’s probably not good for me to have it every day.

  149. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:57

    You can’t beat meat.

  150. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:57

    Apparently the liberal government also says you shouldn’t get hooked on heroin or dig holes near powerlines. I’M A FIXIN’ AND I’M A DIGGIN’.

  151. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:58

    I didn’t watch the vids. I have a feeling I have narrowly averted a cause to drink copious amounts of gin.

    That would have at least been a positive outcome.

    The best part of that link was the awful, horrible, terrible “brony music” they linked too.

    Maybe we can look at it this way — at least these people are wasting their lives doing this and aren’t out dismembering puppies.

    As often as they would otherwise.

  152. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:59

    You can’t beat meat.

    Just watch me!

    Actually, no, don’t watch me. That would be really icky.

  153. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 22:59

    For that matter it’s probably not good for me to have it every day.

    If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat!?

  154. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:01

    Actually, no, don’t watch me. That would be really icky.

    I did not know that is what they meant by “cockpit”!

  155. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:01

    Substance, I like that you’re stickin’ it to the Man, I like it less that you’re stickin’ it to the pony. Never figured you for a brony.

  156. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:02

    I’m lazy. Could someone explain the meatless Monday brouhaha to me?

  157. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:05

    Could someone explain the meatless Monday brouhaha to me?

    Obama is going to force a giant throbbing soysage down wingnuts throats. Right after he gets done banning all guns and mandating gay abortions.

  158. N__B said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:05

    Some people like porking early in the week.

  159. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:05

    Some days I don’t eat meat. Living with a vegetarian will do that to you; she won’t cook it, but gives me no grief whatsoever. Still, how much meat am I gonna buy, just for myself? I get most of it by eating out.

    I don’t think most conservatives realize that meat consumption has skyrocketed. Living like we generally do is not traditional. To them it’s a matter of pride, which is very confusing. What, you’re defiantly proud that you eat like ol’ Uncle Frank did, one score and seven years ago, before the colon cancer?

  160. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:06

    Now official: Meat-eaters lie and commit sex crimes.

  161. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:08

    Obama is going to force a giant throbbing soysage down wingnuts throats.

    Well, that’s not very nice of him.

  162. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:10

    QUESTION: Are the soysausages gay?

  163. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:12

    Meat-eaters lie and commit sex crimes.

    With textbook standards like that, it’s no wonder D’Souza ended up the way he did.

  164. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:13

    I did not know that is what they meant by “cockpit”!

    If we’re ever about to crash I’m going to take off all my clothes and jump on the Captain’s lap – just to give the accident investigators something to think about.

  165. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:17

    Now official: Meat-eaters lie and commit sex crimes.

    Hmm. Reading along, I figured the Indian textbook was a Hindu production, written by one “S. Chand,” and then I got to this part:

    “The strongest argument that meat is not essential food is the fact that the Creator of this Universe did not include meat in the original diet for Adam and Eve. He gave them fruits, nuts and vegetables,” reads a chapter entitled Do We Need Flesh Food?

    The chapter, full of factual inaccuracies, refers to Eskimos (Inuit) as “lazy, sluggish and short-lived” because they live on “a diet largely of meat”.

    I dunno how long they live, but Eskimos work or worked pretty hard for their daily fare. And besides, it’s not fair to pick on them. What the fuck else are they supposed to eat?

  166. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:17

    just to give the accident investigators something to think about.

    Needs moar dramatic announcements for the flight recorder.
    “OH MY GOD, THE CHICKENS HAVE ESCAPED!!!”

  167. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:19

    Needs moar dramatic announcements for the flight recorder.
    “OH MY GOD, THE CHICKENS HAVE ESCAPED!!!”

    I like it!

  168. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:21

    I have had it with these motherfucking chickens on this motherfucking plane!

  169. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:22

    “OH MY GOD, THE CHICKENS HAVE ESCAPED!!!”

    Oooh I like it. Also needs a a UFO sighting.

  170. tigris said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:22

    If we’re ever about to crash I’m going to take off all my clothes and jump on the Captain’s lap – just to give the accident investigators something to think about.

    Wait wait, I thought you said you didn’t have a good aneurism-inducing conversation changer.

  171. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:24

    I didn’t watch the vids. I have a feeling I have narrowly averted a cause to drink copious amounts of gin.

    ha…i did NOT look at the vids AND i am going to drink copious amounts of gin…i have my hendricks, my tonic and a cucumber all ready to go to the wilds of south dakota…that’s right! it’s the annual guys go shoot a shit tonne of pheasant while the sil and i lounge about the cabin, drink, nap, play cards, drink, eat, nap…you get the idea…i AM BEYOND PUMPED!*

    *which shows you how truly lame my life is…

  172. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:27

    a cucumber all ready to go

    o_O

  173. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:27

    I like meat as much as the next guy. Heck, I really like meat. I still don’t have to have it every day. For that matter it’s probably not good for me to have it every day.

    try substituting ‘sex’ for ‘meat’ and you will soon see the error of your ways…

  174. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:28

    Batshittery Oscillators

    Eddie thinks this is a great name for the band.

  175. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:31

    a cucumber all ready to go

    i knew somebody would go there…you sir, clearly eat too much meat, you pervert!

  176. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:31

    You give the chickens to the crocodiles.

  177. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:33

    Having a sausage all ready to go is perfectly innocent.

  178. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:33

    i knew somebody would go there…you sir, clearly eat too much meat, you pervert!

    See you just needed to have said “a cucumber ready for slicing” and it would’ve taken the… INNUENDO right out of it.

    Heh. I crack me up.

  179. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:33

    uhhh…hubbkf is in charge of the sausage…

  180. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:34

    innuendo…heh…

  181. Major Kong said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:44

    Also needs a a UFO sighting.

    I’m thinking – “Holy shit! Look at the tentacles on that thing!” would sound good on the voice recorder.

  182. kg said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:48

    ha…i did NOT look at the vids AND i am going to drink copious amounts of gin…i have my hendricks, my tonic and a cucumber all ready to go to the wilds of south dakota…that’s right! it’s the annual guys go shoot a shit tonne of pheasant while the sil and i lounge about the cabin, drink, nap, play cards, drink, eat, nap…you get the idea…i AM BEYOND PUMPED!*

    *which shows you how truly lame my life is…

    are you sure you meant to use the word lame?

  183. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:50

    Gah my dopey quasi-assistant just asked me if I’d heard about Hostess and how the unions ruined everything.

    I am tempted to say, “ya know, your unemployed wingnut brother isn’t a reliable authority on any subject” but that’d be rude.

  184. Fenwick said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:50

    [Meat-eaters] easily cheat, tell lies, forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes ; they also watch pornography, violent sports, and cable news

  185. CRA said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:54

    I admire how meat eaters do all those things “easily.”

    I forget everything, not just promises. I don’t “tell” bad words, though.

  186. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:58

    I admire how meat eaters do all those things “easily.”
    That’s the worst part of this textbook libel. Cheating, telling lies, forgetting promises, dishonesty and telling bad words, stealing, fighting and turning to violence and committing sex crimes is HARD WORK.

  187. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2012 at 23:59

    I’m thinking – “Holy shit! Look at the tentacles on that thing!” would sound good on the voice recorder.

    win.

  188. tigris said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:00

    Gah my dopey quasi-assistant just asked me if I’d heard about Hostess and how the unions ruined everything.

    BLARGH. Why is it defaulting on a loan means hedge funds are OWED but defaulting on pension obligations means tough shit, employees. More unions should say, sure, we’ll take a pay cut or whatever, but we want preferred ownership commensurate with that.

  189. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:02

    You give the chickens to the crocodiles.
    If the pilots had been equipped with their own crocodiles this disaster could have been averted.

  190. Fenwick said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:04

    i lounge about the cabin, drink, nap, play cards, drink, eat, nap…you get the idea…i AM BEYOND PUMPED!*

    *which shows you how truly lame glorious my life is…

    Fixxorated. Have mucho grande fun in the South Dakota cabin, bbfk!

  191. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:05

    “Holy shit! Look at the tentacles on that thing!”

    That’s after you’ve taken your clothes off, right?

  192. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:05

    I had always thought bronies were just guys who liked MLP in a mostly ironic way. Or thought the show was cute and funny in the way I think Spongebob is cute and funny.

    Yeah, that’s the way I enjoy the show (although I haven’t been keeping up for a while). I don’t identify as a brony in any way, shape, or form for obvious reasons.

  193. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:06

    ha…i did NOT look at the vids AND i am going to drink copious amounts of gin…i have my hendricks, my tonic and a cucumber all ready to go to the wilds of south dakota…that’s right! it’s the annual guys go shoot a shit tonne of pheasant while the sil and i lounge about the cabin, drink, nap, play cards, drink, eat, nap…you get the idea…i AM BEYOND PUMPED!*

    You had me at lounge and drink.

  194. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:07

    I am trying to decorate the house for xmas (cuz I fucking feel like it, bishes) and dealing with a very cranky toddler. I want to lounge at bbkf’s place.

  195. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:11

    That’s the worst part of this textbook libel. Cheating, telling lies, forgetting promises, dishonesty and telling bad words, stealing, fighting and turning to violence and committing sex crimes is HARD WORK.

    Do you find it so, Smut Clyde? Perhaps you’re not eating enough meat.

  196. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:11

    i AM BEYOND PUMPED!

    Did you know that this is even more crazy than the cucumbers?

  197. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:12

    Yeah, that’s the way I enjoy the show (although I haven’t been keeping up for a while). I don’t identify as a brony in any way, shape, or form for obvious reasons.

    If you and DK-W had been representative of the brony, um, movement, it’d be a movement I could totally support. I always got the idea you guys were just familiar with the show in a normal, healthy, detached way. I definitely NEVER thought you were spanking it to the ponies.

    I’ve known about New Clopping Republic (Google at your own peril) for awhile. I always assumed that those folks were not bronies. Just your average internet perv subculture who latched onto MLP.

  198. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:17

    It is possible that the malscrupled non-journalists at Something Awful have sensationalized the bronies through a cynical process of nutpicking.

  199. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:20

    OT

    Sorry to get all heavy but I’m drinking dinner in Pittsfield. If I want to stop using google and want to avoid bing like the plague carrier if is, any recommendations for a decent search engine?

  200. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:21

    “it is”

    Fucking iPrecious.

  201. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:26

    http://duckduckgo.com/ and http://startpage.com/ are both worth encouraging and will be fine for most purposes.

  202. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:27

    It is possible that the malscrupled non-journalists at Something Awful have sensationalized the bronies through a cynical process of nutpicking.

    I have to say, their conviction that “autistic” is the ultimate put-down did not convince me of the good-faith nature of their research.

  203. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:29

    So i entered my real name in duckduckgo and the tenth item was an obit for an Arizonan with he same name.

  204. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:30

    It is possible that the malscrupled non-journalists at Something Awful have sensationalized the bronies through a cynical process of nutpicking.

    Possibly. Also, in the interest of fairness, I should mention this Twitter account that posts actual quotes from the Something Awful forums.

    Some examples:

    “I once jacked off whilst talking to my mom on the phone.”

    “I have smelled so bad at work they have actually stopped me from my duties&requisitioned me a new shirt&deodorant This has happened twice”

    “I love collecting that “period juice” in a jar and pranking people with it. I’ll fill balloons with it and throw them off high buildings”

    “I’m not advocating murder here but [...] I wish there was a deranged shooter for every church goer in america.”

    “just because som1 is a Nazi doesnt mean they are “evil” if you can even define “evil” Its like saying som1 black must be good at basketball”

    “Racism is a lot like rape: the accusation alone is damaging to the accused but worse because you can’t disprove someone calling u a ‘racist’”

    And, that’s enough of that.

  205. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:33

    Whereas Mrs__B’s real name turns up a shitload of her publications.

  206. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:33

    And yet is there a single person who doesn’t think he wouldn’t have run on bringing Romneycare to the nation if the ACA hadn’t passed?

    I agree. d00d would have done anything for power. But, it’s even worse. The election is over, he needn’t pander no more. And while he is grasping at any straw useable for an excuse, I think this one might reveal what he really thinks. Because it is incidental to the point he’s trying to make. A “fact” to support the spin and not the spin itself.

    Basically this, while fumbling for a scapegoat to blame his sorry ass election performance on, he let slip that he has an accurate view of the difficulties for most Americans to get health insurance. And those difficulties are features not bugs.

    I suppose it should not be surprising that Willard is a fan of health insurance flavoured indentured servitude – but it’s still shocking to me to see it revealed so plainly. Also goes for the additional ruthless disregard for the uninsured as well. Just wow.

  207. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:35

    I have to say, their conviction that “autistic” is the ultimate put-down did not convince me of the good-faith nature of their research.

    I didn’t get the idea the author thought that was the ultimate put-down.

    I also didn’t think the author was gleefully searching out a way to discredit bronies.

    I mean, I’m sure it’s possible this guy is just a huge asshole who wanted to be mean to bronies, but that’s not the impression I walked away with. There are actually some thoughtful critiques in between the salacious stuff.

  208. Major Kong said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:36

    I am trying to decorate the house for xmas

    Clark W. Griswald, is that you?

  209. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:37

    So i entered my real name in duckduckgo and the tenth item was an obit for an Arizonan with he same name.

    At work I stick with the hated Google because it has a large index and I know how to massage it properly. Can’t be helped.

  210. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:39

    Clark W. Griswald, is that you?

    My dear sir you must have mistaken me for someone who likes to drink and lounge less.

  211. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:39

    Massaging the google.

  212. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:40

    I agree, Dr. K. Noisewater. I made my disclaimer because I am always a bit uncomfortable when the sum of my knowledge on a subject derives from S.A.

  213. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:47

    bblf, here’s an attempt at a civil response:

    That was an extremely poor apology. How about this, if you want to talk about Agenda 21, you actually talk about Agenda 21? The full text of all the non-binding documents are publicly available. It would certainly be more constructive than making up random threats based on the rantings of a man who has already been shown to have acted extremely deceitfully on the very topic.

    Face it, Glen Beck lied to you. Made you look like an idiot on this very topic by an act of pure fraud. One that, despite being blatantly transparent, you fell for hook line and sinker. Maybe, just maybe, he’s not being entirely honest about his concerns about sustainability and is just fleecing rubes into buying his latest book, coincidentally titled Agenda 21.

    PS. I hope that it hurts like hell when the corkscrew PENISed ogre skullfucks you.

  214. Rodney Dangerfield said,

    November 17, 2012 at 0:59

    (tugs collar) I tell ya; I’d hate to see the in civil reply

  215. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:13

    I had forgotten about this project:

    http://mycroft.mozdev.org/

    Back when Sherlock existed it was fun loading it up with various plugins because search engines (and metasearchers) were fairly equivalent and it would compile the results. I don’t see that there’s any Sherlock equivalent out there and it would be kind of cool to have again…

  216. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:21

    re: sick brony stuff

    Did not click and am not going to. That said, provided they aren’t harming anyone, I don’t think I have a problem with guys squeezing one out to Rarity or Twilight Sparkle. Human sexuality is a complex beast. We don’t get to choose the things we end up developing obsessive fetishes over.

    That plus all communities have people like this. Rule 34 is not just a humourous joke, it is also a profound and accurate observation about human nature. Someone is probably furiously masturbating to this comment thread. Or will be just as soon as I get these pants off.

  217. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:23

    Free Watson here but I doubt it’s much use in the Intel world…

  218. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:40

    “OH MY GOD, THE CHICKENS HAVE ESCAPED!!!”

    “As God is my witness, I thought they could fly.”

  219. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:41

    The Mac version of Watson is no longer fully supported as of October 5, 2004. Please stay tuned for more news about future releases of Watson from its licensee, Sun Microsystems. Find Out More.

    Sun doesn’t even exist anymore. A search for “Watson” at Oracle (the people that bought Sun) doesn’t reveal anything, unfortunately.

  220. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:51

    Once upon a time I knew about this:

    http://www.copernic.com/en/products/agent/index.html

  221. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 1:55

    I have smelled so bad at work they have actually stopped me from my duties & requisitioned me a new shirt & deodorant This has happened twice

    I can’t judge this fellow without knowing his job title. He could be a hero or a villain, saint or monster.

  222. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:01

    I can’t judge this fellow without knowing his job title. He could be a hero or a villain, saint or monster.

    It seems to be the same guy who wrote this (also posted in the Twitter account I linked to)…

    “I will wear the same clothes for several days. I stop wearing them when they start to smell. [...] I sometimes wipe my teeth on my shirt.”

  223. tigris said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:01

    I figure when a site calls itself “Something Awful” it’s truth in advertizing.

  224. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:07

    “I have smelled so bad at work they have actually stopped me from my duties & requisitioned me a new shirt & deodorant This has happened twice”
    I can’t judge this fellow without knowing his job title

    CIA director.

  225. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:08

    are you sure you meant to use the word lame?

    Her keyboard doesn’t have that fancy French accent. Lamé is what she meant, I am sure.

  226. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:16

    CIA director.

    Well, I bet in the CIA you CAN requisition a new shirt & deodorant. What I don’t understand is where the RL dirtbag works. Couldn’t they just fire him? Perhaps he’s too skilled to replace.

  227. bbkf said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:21

    am trying to decorate the house for xmas (cuz I fucking feel like it, bishes) and dealing with a very cranky toddler. I want to lounge at bbkf’s place.

    c’mon over…oh my…i do recall those days…now i have to decorate all by myself…sigh…

  228. Another Kiwi said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:28

    Cranky children can be cheered up or put to bed after an ickle gin is alls I’m sayin’

  229. bbkf said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:29

    bblf, here’s an attempt at a civil response:

    you have no idea how tempting that reply is…but i said i was DONE with that topic with him…because the awesomeness of it would be wasted on him…

    Cranky children can be cheered up or put to bed after an ickle gin is alls I’m sayin’

    sippy cup?

  230. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:40

    There is currently gin in MY sippy cup.

    Hardest stuff I’ll give him is apple juice. HARDCORE!

  231. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:46

    The mustache wasn’t a blatant tipoff? http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2012/11/some_stories_are_awesome.php?ref=fpblg

  232. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:50

    Wow. Porn star makes good!!

  233. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:52

    Prosecuting people who have sex for money!

  234. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:54

    Is anyone else as amused as I by Bobby Jindal’s furious condemnation of Mitt’s words NOW THAT MITT LOST? I mean, his gifts comments weren’t anything he hadn’t been saying all along. I don’t recall Jindal saying a damn thing when he thought Mitt might win. I laugh more heartily each time he makes a big deal of distancing himself – “Whattaya mean I endorsed him? I campaigned for him? Honest, I was going to say something to him but … I was busy, yeah, just dimt have the time but I really really was going to say so,something! “

  235. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:55

    you have no idea how tempting that reply is…but i said i was DONE with that topic with him…because the awesomeness of it would be wasted on him…

    Well I’m sending him the skullfucking corkscrew PENISed ogre anyways.

  236. Major Kong said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:57

    If anyone gets bored they can read my diaries shameless self-promotion over at Kos:

    Haulin’ the Freight – Part 1

    Haulin’ the Freight – Part 2

  237. paleotectonics said,

    November 17, 2012 at 2:57

    Gin und zippy-cup

    Lesson one learned from college –
    Squirt and Seagrams 7 in a squeezebottle looks like an Arnie Palmer and does not smell of alcohol.

    Thus making seminars on presenting seminars much more interessant.

    Next lesson from college – how to stop gigglefits…

  238. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:02

    November 17, 2012 at 2:54

    Is anyone else as amused as I by Bobby Jindal’s furious condemnation of Mitt’s words NOW THAT MITT LOST?

    Oh, you notice that too?

  239. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:04

    And while I’m at it, I want to say a few words about Papa John and those other asshat enema bags. STFU. I don’t believe for one moment that your bean counters haven’t gleefully pointed out that with Obamacare you’re going to SAVE a lot of money. You’re going to kill your entire insurance program (except for the execs, of course) which, though the peons could hardly afford to buy in, still cost you money. But now it’s CORPORATE WELFARE FOR EVERYBODY! Just cut everyone back to under 30 hours. Your costs go down. The slobs – who you didn’t pay enough to buy insurance in any volume anyway – will get GUBBLEMINT SUBSIDIZED insurance and you don’t have to do dick.

    STFU. If you really think Obamacare is bad for your business you’re an idiot. If you’re being an asshat deliberately then you’re a fucking worthless PoS idiot. STFU.

  240. tigris said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:07

    I think of you whenever I get a package*, Major, and say a little blessing for you. Thanks for sharing that.

    *Shame on you people.

  241. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:07

    Next lesson from college
    Do not turn up to Philosophy finals tripping balls on morning-glory seeds as it is distracting to have blue fluids oozing out of the exam paper as one attempts to write on it.

  242. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:16

    Do not turn up to Philosophy finals

    Done!

  243. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:26

    Did not click and am not going to. That said, provided they aren’t harming anyone, I don’t think I have a problem with guys squeezing one out to Rarity or Twilight Sparkle. Human sexuality is a complex beast. We don’t get to choose the things we end up developing obsessive fetishes over.

    I’m actually not sure about this. There comes a point when fetishes become so esoteric and weird I wonder if folks aren’t searching them out. Even if it’s in a passive way. (I’m not sure how one searches passively. Fuck off.) I dunno. I prolly wouldn’t give a shit either way if it weren’t for the fact that the show is aimed at children. In the end, we’re talking about cartoon characters here, so I’m not gonna get worked up. But when other people call it out as potentially disturbing, I ain’t gonna argue.

  244. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:33

    Did you guys see this?

    I find it pretty disturbing that conservatives just straight-up don’t know what sexism is.

    Also, I find it sexist of them to assume that he wouldn’t have been similarly protective of a male candidate.

  245. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:34

    crap. Apologizing in advance if I linked everything.

  246. paperbagmarlys said,

    November 17, 2012 at 3:53

    …you’ll be selling boner pills next to Bob Dole…

    More like pumping the flesh at the Hill Cumorah Pageant for the rest of his life. Gotta figure that Romney has significant Mormon debt. He may also end up selling boner pills.

  247. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 17, 2012 at 4:00

    Hello, cruel world.

    How is everyone in this continuum?
    .

  248. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 4:16

    Goob.

  249. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 4:20

    I won’t belabor the brony issue much further, but it bears saying: the Something Awful author’s autism/Aspergers angle is inexcusable. I know, expecting alot from SA is foolish, but in other respects he tried for seriousness … you can’t wax serious about sexual morality and then have a big, hateful blind spot about difference. When the target is vulnerable, easy, of course that’s worse, and cowardly. I shouldn’t be party to that.

    The convention videos humanized this subculture for me in a way the sexual and Web stuff most definitely does not. I had to wonder what sort of baggage I bring to the topic. Retreating into a fantasy world is right up my alley, but I cannot do so: right now I have two jobs, and other commitments. Another part of me is obsessive about serious matters: politics, dry and/or depressing nonfiction, etc. So I deeply resent that fantasy-world element, because damnit I want my childhood back, without the chaos and privation and abuse that marred it. That desire is unrealizable, though; all I can do is psychotherapy, and continue to function, which helps in spite of the stress and anxiety.

    I also endured extreme loneliness, due to my family’s unusual itinerancy and dysfunction. I learned to be a chameleon, to hustle people, to tell them what they seemed to want to hear. But I did not have close friends, and never felt at home in a place or group. So when I see these fucking bronies letting it all hang out a con, part of me becomes enraged. They’re having fun together. There is a place for them … These aren’t the lessons I learned. The kid in me says no, you can’t connect, you’re never safe, don’t be vulnerable, keep the fantasy stuff to yourself. You’ve got to wage cold war … But I’m not actually dead inside, it’s just a role I learned by age nine or so … The bronies may push my buttons but I can empathize.

  250. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 4:27

    Thanks for sharing, CRA.

    FTR, I really wouldn’t have much of a beef with bronies if they just found the show amusing ( and not erotic).

    But I’ve seen MLP…and it is very very babyish. So I wonder what folks get out of it. Now, I’m just genuinely curious.

  251. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 17, 2012 at 4:28

    I won’t belabor the brony issue much further, but it bears saying: the Something Awful author’s autism/Aspergers angle is inexcusable. I know, expecting alot from SA is foolish, but in other respects he tried for seriousness … you can’t wax serious about sexual morality and then have a big, hateful blind spot about difference. When the target is vulnerable, easy, of course that’s worse, and cowardly. I shouldn’t be party to that.

    Yeah, that was strictly bush league. No need to dump on people who are unfairly judged already.

    Congrats to Major Kong on the Kos diaries.

  252. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 5:25

    But I’ve seen MLP…and it is very very babyish. So I wonder what folks get out of it. Now, I’m just genuinely curious.

    Character interaction.

    Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and to a lesser extent Shutterfly saying really funny things (special credit goes to the voice actors for great comic-timing).

    In-jokes like pony versions of the cast of The Big Lebowski showing up in the background.

    An almost entirely female cast – a 180 degree flip from most cartoons, or media in general for that matter. Also, that its focus is on female friendships. That’s rare.

    I also like that it’s so unabashedly what it is. It’s not afraid to be cute and girly. It doesn’t try to play itself as ironic or overly self-aware. It’s just a cute show about talking magical ponies learning the ins and outs of being friends, and it’s not ashamed of it.

  253. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 5:32

    Oh, I should also mention that for the most part, it’s fairly relatable despite the setting. It deals with problems that people actually have in individual and group interactions, and the main characters are all archetypes that are easy to see oneself in. For example, I can actually see myself in aspects of Twilight Sparkle, Shutterfly, and Rarity. Honestly, I don’t usually relate to television, movie, and book characters, so that’s a bit appealing.

  254. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 5:41

    Like I said, I’m not the biggest fan – I haven’t even watched the second season yet – but I do like the show. I certainly don’t associate with the fandom due to the unhealthy attitudes I see even apart from the sex stuff.

    Though, honestly, there are so many problems in the fandoms that I do belong to right now that I’m distancing myself from those a bit too. There are huge problems with misogyny in comic book culture that can get really disheartening, including wars about alleged “fake geek girls” who are just pretending to like comic books because of…reasons (supposedly they’re only sort-of hot girls trying to be “big fish in a small pond” and get special treatment from fanboys, but really the whole thing’s just a shaming tactic to bully women out of the community).

  255. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 5:50

    (supposedly they’re only sort-of hot girls trying to be “big fish in a small pond” and get special treatment from fanboys, but really the whole thing’s just a shaming tactic to bully women out of the community)

    This is not at all a dig at comic fans, but I totally assumed the men were appreciative of women coming around. If the point of being a “fake [x] girl” was to get attention, they could go virtually anywhere the ratio was a bit off. Sporting events or bars, who knows.

    The general rule should be: if a woman has obviously been paid to attend your event, you may conclude she has ulterior motives being there (duh). If she’s not paid to attend, don’t overthink the matter. People could just as easily question why you’re congregating with men, or men who have hangups about geek cred, or whatever.

  256. paperbagmarlys said,

    November 17, 2012 at 6:06

    …How is everyone in this continuum?…

    As far as I can tell, everyone here is applying for a noncommutative extension. You?

  257. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 6:10

    “everyone here is applying for a noncommutative extension”

    Is that what the young people are calling it these days?

  258. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 17, 2012 at 6:19

    This is not at all a dig at comic fans, but I totally assumed the men were appreciative of women coming around.

    Well, the latest round of ire has been about female cosplayers. A prominent comic artist (most famous for his work on the brilliant Starman series of the 90s), posted a long, poorly-spelled screed on his Facebook, containing nuggets such as…

    YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMICS, BEYOND WHATEVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOU DID TO GET REF ON THE MOST MAINSTREAM CHARACTER WITH THE MOST REVEALING COSTUME EVER. And also, if ANY of these guys that you hang on tried to talk to you out of that Con? You wouldnt give them the fucking time of day. Shut up you damned liar, no you would not. Lying, Liar Face. Yer not Comics. Your just the thing that all the Comic Book, AND mainstream press flock to at Cons. And the real reason for the Con, and the damned costumes yer parading around in? That would be Comic Book Artists, and Comic Book Writers who make all that shit up.

    He’s been taken to task all over the place online, but his attitude is depressingly common.

  259. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 6:32

    YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMICS, BEYOND WHATEVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOU DID TO GET REF ON THE MOST MAINSTREAM CHARACTER WITH THE MOST REVEALING COSTUME EVER. And also, if ANY of these guys that you hang on tried to talk to you out of that Con? You wouldnt give them the fucking time of day. Shut up you damned liar, no you would not. Lying, Liar Face. Yer not Comics. Your just the thing that all the Comic Book, AND mainstream press flock to at Cons. And the real reason for the Con, and the damned costumes yer parading around in? That would be Comic Book Artists, and Comic Book Writers who make all that shit up.

    Talk about a first-world problem … “Halp!! scantily-clad women, meeting or exceeding the very particulars of my fantasy life, show up unbidden at the events I attend. When quizzed (well not really, in my mind) they score very poorly! Also, I have been compensated in various ways for my work as a writer and/or artist, but none of these women have fucked me.”

  260. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    November 17, 2012 at 6:56

    TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  261. paperbagmarlys said,

    November 17, 2012 at 7:05

    All ur Obama belong to Anon2Rove.

  262. Fenwick said,

    November 17, 2012 at 8:16

    [Major Kong:] I’m thinking – “Holy shit! Look at the tentacles on that thing!” would sound good on the voice recorder.

    win.

    What a total mind-fuck for the FAA and NSTB. Also, if even the vaguest, unattributed rumor leaks out, you will become as a god in the eyes of UFO conspiracy theorists.

  263. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 9:34

    As far as I can tell, everyone here is applying for a noncommutative extension. You?

    It always starts that way, and the next thing you know it’s all quaternions and Lie algebras.

  264. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 17, 2012 at 9:46

    YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMICS, BEYOND WHATEVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOU DID TO GET REF ON THE MOST MAINSTREAM CHARACTER WITH THE MOST REVEALING COSTUME EVER. And also, if ANY of these guys that you hang on tried to talk to you out of that Con? You wouldnt give them the fucking time of day. Shut up you damned liar, no you would not

    Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s funny, I’m a pretty nerdy fellow, but I just can’t identify with “nerd culture” because of the weird factionalism and hostility that seems to infest it. George Takei did his best to broker the peace, but who knows if it’ll hold.

    I’ll stick to my monthly booze-soaked science lectures, my Jack Vance novels, and my HPL/CAS weird pulp stories.

  265. Suezboo said,

    November 17, 2012 at 13:15

    Congrats, Major, on your DKos diaries. They made for an interesting read.

    This whole thing about women at Comic Cons flabbergasts me. If they are paid to promote certain products, they are like those poor shivering bikini babes at Motor Shows – just doing their job as best they can. If they decide on their own to dress up and attend a Con, surely it is to try and “snag” a nerd – shouldn’t said nerds feel flattered they would go to such trouble and expense? Not getting it here.

  266. Lexicon Devil said,

    November 17, 2012 at 14:34

    Major,

    I too found your Kos piece interesting, particularly the bit about how you don’t like turbulence, either. Shouldn’t a pilot be blase about that shit? I’m curious, because any turbulence—even the mildest of bumps—has come to terrify me, in a completely irrational way. The only way I can convince myself that it’s okay, that the plane is not going to suddenly come apart and plummet from the sky, is to assume that the pilots are completely zen about what’s happening. If this is not the case then, well, I may never be able to fly again.

  267. Lexicon Devil said,

    November 17, 2012 at 14:49

    blasé, also

  268. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 17, 2012 at 14:58

    You nailed it, Suezboo. I think one problem is that the guys who resent the ladies are emotionally damaged to the point where their reaction is knee-jerk hostility. I’ve never been a comic book fan, but I would think that fans of fantasy worlds inhabited by mutants and misfits would be more accepting of different demographic groups. If you’re a fan of a big green dude with ripped pants and various aliens, why would you resent a black dude or a lady-type-person?

  269. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 17, 2012 at 14:59

    I’m curious, because any turbulence—even the mildest of bumps—has come to terrify me, in a completely irrational way. The only way I can convince myself that it’s okay, that the plane is not going to suddenly come apart and plummet from the sky, is to assume that the pilots are completely zen about what’s happening. If this is not the case then, well, I may never be able to fly again.

    I keep telling myself it’s like encountering whitecaps while on a boat.

  270. Major Kong said,

    November 17, 2012 at 15:00

    I’m not really afraid of turbulence. It’s just annoying. It usually seems to start right after I pour a cup of coffee. It’s also hard to do some of my cockpit chores, like calculate landing data, while the plane’s bouncing around. It also gets fatiguing if you’re in it for a long time.

    Rest assured, the plane is not going to come apart. They’re designed to take the maximum gust load you’re ever likely to encounter – PLUS a nice safety margin on top of that. When we start getting into moderate turbulence we slow the plane down to reduce the loads on the aircraft. Just like hitting a bump in your car is less violent if you’re going slower.

    The danger to the passengers is being tossed around the cabin if they’re not belted in. Always wear your seat belt if you’re not getting up to use the bathroom.

    Keep in mind that the pilots of passenger airliners are always looking for smooth air. We hear them on the radio all the time asking for ride reports and then changing their altitude to find smoother air.

    We don’t do that as much in the freight business because the boxes don’t care, but if it gets bad enough we’ll start looking for smoother air as well.

  271. Major Kong said,

    November 17, 2012 at 15:05

    I keep telling myself it’s like encountering whitecaps while on a boat.

    That was my one gripe about the Airbus 300. It had a very stiff wing and that thing would get a very choppy ride in turbulence.

    Every plane has a different motion in turbulence. The 727 would wing-rock. The 757 will flex from side to side, which feels a little weird at first.

  272. Major Kong said,

    November 17, 2012 at 15:10

    If you have a choice, try to get a seat just over or just forward of the wing.

    In turbulence a plane is like a teeter-totter, it pivots around its center of gravity, which is usually just ahead of the wing.

    The worst place to sit is back in the tail – which is like being on the end of the teeter-totter.

  273. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 15:33

    I really don’t get the fuss over “fake” geek girls. If you suspect someone is just attention-whoring at your precious geek event, couldn’t you just, you know, ignore her? Why all the drama?

  274. Jennifer said,

    November 17, 2012 at 16:13

    Every time I’ve been on a plane that hit turbulence, I think about the gremlin on the wing in The Twilight Zone.

  275. Lexicon Devil said,

    November 17, 2012 at 16:22

    The worst place to sit is back in the tail – which is like being on the end of the teeter-totter.

    Yeah, that’s where it started: sitting in the very last seat of a 747, at night, somewhere above the Atlantic. After I’d calmed down, and when the flight attendants were allowed to walk around again, I asked one guy whether that one had been especially bad. He said nah, the worst he’d ever been in was when a plane dropped so suddenly a drinks cart got embedded in the ceiling liner.

  276. LittlePig said,

    November 17, 2012 at 16:53

    Oregon Beer Snob said,
    November 16, 2012 at 19:02

    what am i missing here sheeple? connect the dots for me!!!

    Simple: it all, and I mean all, boils down to “he’s not a gawdamn ni[CLANG!]“

    This. Exactly this.

    Having my fellow Arkansans vote for Voldemort really, really stung. (Hello! Mountain Meadows Massacre! I thought we Southerners remembered this kind of thing).

    But whole thing is simply ‘voting for the white guy’. That’s all it is. Racism so ingrained it is not even noticed.

  277. El Manquécito said,

    November 17, 2012 at 17:04

    Re: Mountain Meadows

    I spent a long weekend in Nashville at the end of Sept. and for uninteresting reasons spent some time each day in my van in a downtown parking garage. The only radio station I could get was some evangelical radio entirely dedicated to talk shows about exposing the Satanic evil that is the Mormon church. I heard two different experts on successive days, each of whom had written books and maintained the mandatory websites and newsletters about nothing but what a depraved, insidious and devilish thing is the Mormon church. While it had a certain shouting at clouds feel to it I wondered whether it was going on other places and how much of an effect on the vote it had.

  278. tigris said,

    November 17, 2012 at 17:16

    A prominent comic artist

    Dude, you ever consider it’s not geeks these girls don’t really like(after all, why else are they there?), it’s you?

  279. Jennifer said,

    November 17, 2012 at 17:23

    Hey LittlePig, have you noticed the same thing I have? Which is, that ever since election day, people have felt free to “commiserate” with you on the outcome, assuming that since you’re white, you must feel the same way they do about Black Hitler?

    I suppose it shouldn’t be all that surprising – Obama only got 37% here, and probably 22% of it was the black and Latino vote. Which means that not a lot of white people voted for him in this state.

    The day after the election, I talked with a guy who has been one of my vendors for the fundraising company, and he said something along the lines of “we may not even be ALIVE 4 years from now.” My reply was, “oh, come on now…we’re still here now, aren’t we? And you still have a job.” A few days later, helping out a couple of textbook reps, one of the other women they had hired to help went off suddenly on a rant about how “the government is too involved in our lives!” I looked at her as if she was an alien and said, “really? About the only contact I have with the federal government is when I go to the post office.” She retorts with “they take taxes out of your check!” and I said, “well yes, but taxes are a part of living in a civilized society, and they’re taking less now than they were 5 years ago.” She responded with “well if you don’t think they’re controlling your life now, just wait, they WILL be!” I said, “ok, we’ll see.” Finally, a couple of days ago, a customer volunteered that she’s been really, really depressed for the past week because the country is bound for ruin. I said, “well, these last few years have been tough in terms of the economy, but you’re still here, right? You still have a job, and you still have the money to go out and buy a new truck, so things can’t be all that bad. If we’ve made it through the past few years, we’ll make it through the next few as well – it’s not the end of the world.” She replied that she hadn’t even been able to watch the news, “not even FOX!” I told her that I don’t watch ANY of the news shows, because their whole thing is to worry every stupid little thing to death, and they sensationalize everything, and if you just tune them out, this idea that the sky is falling would never occur to you. She said, “you’re probably right about that.”

    It only occured to me later what an awesome response this is. It allowed me to avoid any mention of my political beliefs, which is the best thing in terms of business, even if the people you’re dealing with don’t have the sense to realize it, and it allowed me, in a very polite way, to tell these folks to get some fucking PERSPECTIVE. The last woman I referred to I think it really sunk in, because of the way I phrased it – which was, “really? Your life seems to be going pretty well; what makes you so convinced that what you’re hearing on Fox News is the reality, rather than what you’re living every day?” People have gotten so eaten up with the stuff the rightwing puke funnel is shoving into their brains on a daily basis that they completely forget their own personal experience, which for most folks, is not all that bad, certainly not so catastrophic as to suggest that life as we know it will end within the next 4 years. As much as I’d like to light into them sometimes, I think the more effective approach is to mildly remind them to get some fucking perspective.

  280. LittlePig said,

    November 17, 2012 at 17:56

    The worst place to sit is back in the tail – which is like being on the end of the teeter-totter.

    That’s why you sit there! Or at least why I do. :)

    The closest call I ever had was a 727 wingrolling on landing in St. Louis. I didn’t realize it would have to do with the structural dynamics, I just thought the wind was freaky.

  281. LittlePig said,

    November 17, 2012 at 18:04

    Re: Mountain Meadows

    The amount of evangelical buy-in to the Mormon thing surprised me. My crazy step-sister was at least consistent in not voting because she couldn’t bring herself to vote for a Mormon even though Mitt was better (this from someone on food stamps). For the evangelicals to hold their nose and vote for a Mormon, and for hillbillies to hold their nose and vote for a feudin’ enemy, tells me that racism trumps these peoples very identities. It’s staggering.

  282. LittlePig said,

    November 17, 2012 at 18:08

    Hey LittlePig, have you noticed the same thing I have? Which is, that ever since election day, people have felt free to “commiserate” with you on the outcome, assuming that since you’re white, you must feel the same way they do about Black Hitler?

    That’s the advantage of being a poorly-socialized misanthrope while working at a company where politics and religion are VERBOTEN as conversation. Having a (silent) happy dance in the hallway with my fellow socialist political junkie was the extent of that sort of thing, for me.

    Although people have noticed how much *calmer* I am lately. :)

  283. tsam said,

    November 17, 2012 at 18:18

    I wish they made gum that tastes like the stuff inside pot stickers.

  284. tsam said,

    November 17, 2012 at 18:23

    @major
    I try to sit where I can keep an eye on the flight attendants. Turbulence scares the fucking day lights out of me, so I watch the attendants. I figure if they look scared, I’ll be scared.
    Weird thing is that I’m normally a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I love roller coasters and stuff like that. But when an airplane bounces around or when the pilot throttles down quickly, I get a minor panic attack.

  285. paleotectonics said,

    November 17, 2012 at 18:38

    If they decide on their own to dress up and attend a Con, surely it is to try and “snag” a nerd – shouldn’t said nerds feel flattered they would go to such trouble and expense?

    Suezboo, I’m a straight, male, white, ridiculously horny 40+ year-old, and when I went to cons, and saw the handful of female cosplayers, hells yeah I wanted to meet them (however, mad D&D skilz never led to smooveness). But even then, I recognized that maybe they were just fans of their avatar and weren’t necessarily going there to bag my ass.

    Not gonna claim that ‘we then became bestest of friends’ because geek, but we can occasionally show some respect…

  286. Major Kong said,

    November 17, 2012 at 19:52

    I guess I was never a true nerd.

    I’d never have complained “Hey! You know what’s wrong with this place? Too damn many scantily-clad women hanging around here!”

  287. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 20:07

    I know some of these guys have complained that these women are not attractive enough to garner the same amount of attention outside geek circles. I can’t help but wonder if the real complaint is “why can’t we get the uber-hot babes?” Gah.

    One such dude referred to these women as 6 of 9′s. Which makes me think this petty bitching isn’t all about geek cred.

  288. Whale Chowder said,

    November 17, 2012 at 20:37

    I don’t get the geek bitching for any number of reasons, most of all because Young Chowderette is a true geek (now studying civil engineering) and went through a con / cosplay phase because she loved the characters in the games she played and she was scratching a theater / makeup itch that she has since found other ways to engage.

    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, boys. It turns out it isn’t always about them.

  289. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 20:49

    Some percentage of the disgruntled geeks seem to believe that women are attending the cons in skimpy clothing to tease them and for no other purpose.

    IOW, they’re morons.

  290. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 20:50

    Also, let me register here my objection to a stated equality between geekiness and the study of civil emgineering.

  291. tigris said,

    November 17, 2012 at 20:55

    I know some of these guys have complained that these women are not attractive enough to garner the same amount of attention outside geek circles. I can’t help but wonder if the real complaint is “why can’t we get the uber-hot babes?” Gah.

    One such dude referred to these women as 6 of 9?s. Which makes me think this petty bitching isn’t all about geek cred.

    Guys who talk like this are usually lower on the physical attractiveness scale than the gals they’re slagging, and with personalities even less attractive.

  292. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 20:58

    They have personalities so negative that when they walk in a room, people say “who left?”

    My god, I am a geek.

  293. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:05

    No, you’re not, you’re a bear.

  294. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:08

    I just think it’s fairly implausible that you g women are doing RESEARCH and BUYING COSTUMES just to to tease geeks.

    I’m guessing these ladies either a.) are genuinely interested in geekery or are b.) genuinely interested in geeks.

    Geez, guys, why not just roll with it?

  295. N__B said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:09

    You’re saying there are no geeky bears? How would you like it if someone denied your existence, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

  296. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:14

    You’re saying there are no geeky bears?

    Is this the same thing as a gay nerd? Cuz…Nate Silver.

  297. Smut Clyde said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:22

    <i.I really don’t get the fuss over “fake” geek girls. If you suspect someone is just attention-whoring at your precious geek event, couldn’t you just, you know, ignore her?

    I can only suppose that using social skills is considered cheating.

  298. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:42

  299. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:47

    Nerd-dom is pretty fucked up. Srsly, how the fuck can a cosplayer not be a nerd? Okay, Halloween aside. Cosplay FFS.

    And even if those girls are doing it for attention – so fucking what? Like nerds are suddenly not allowed to want attention. Man, those boys are fucked up. And this is coming from a guy who is okay with bronies stroking off to MLP.

  300. tsam said,

    November 17, 2012 at 21:52

    The hot chicks in cosplay was a G4TV thing (think Olivia munn). Most geeks are all over it like white on rice. Geeks who complain about it are either suffering from a dangerously acute case of sexual frustration or are disappointed to see their beloved characters represented in human proportions instead of the fantastic stylings of their fantasy games.

  301. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 22:11

    … or are disappointed to see their beloved characters represented in human proportions instead of the fantastic stylings of their fantasy games.

    I don’t like characters drawn very far from the generous range of proportions found in nature. It’s distracting or alienating or something.

  302. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 22:47

    The folks on America’s Test Kitchen just said “flipping the bird is important.”

  303. CRA said,

    November 17, 2012 at 22:48

    Penn Jillette on Trump’s hair: “It looks like cotton candy made of piss.”

  304. Oregon Beer Nerd said,

    November 17, 2012 at 23:15

    By most standards I’m a pretty geeky guy and always have been. But I’m also very social (believe it or not) and take care of myself physically. Having been around computer/science/comics geeks my whole life I think these dude’s problem has much less to do with the nerdy shit we are into and more to do with a perceived (and rarely rectified) lack of physical self confidence, and a massively inadequate level of social self confidence.

    Then a bunch of babes show up (darn!) in the one place they had a tiny amount of social confidence and that fucks that up for them too. Since they’re not good at this shit anyway, they lash out.

    Or maybe I’m just over thinking this. I am a geek after all, it’s what we do.

  305. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 23:36

    Some day, I, too, will lead a less nerdy life and will do exciting things like look for tentacle porn instead of searching for things like this.

  306. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 17, 2012 at 23:39

    hen a bunch of babes show up (darn!) in the one place they had a tiny amount of social confidence and that fucks that up for them too. Since they’re not good at this shit anyway, they lash out.

    Which seems weird to me. I’ve always been shy around men. If I’m feeling shy or awkward I just try to avoid eye contact.

  307. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 17, 2012 at 23:41

    Also: excellent Kos diaries Major.

    Now deliver those running shoes I ordered, dammit!

  308. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 17, 2012 at 23:52

    Which seems weird to me. I’ve always been shy around men. If I’m feeling shy or awkward I just try to avoid eye contact.

    Well yeah, that would be normal and probably what 99% of them do too. The rest of them rant incoherently on the intartrons.

  309. Junkpuncho the Junk-Punching Alpaca said,

    November 18, 2012 at 0:21

    One Last Nutpunch

    Say it ain’t so!

  310. tigris said,

    November 18, 2012 at 0:32

    She’s saving the rest for you, sweet Junkpuncho!

  311. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 18, 2012 at 1:12

    BUYING COSTUMES

    The majority of cosplayers at cons make their own costumes, so they’re even a few steps beyond that.

    You’re saying there are no geeky bears?

    There are. I follow one or two bearded gay comic fans on Twitter.

  312. Dazed and Confused said,

    November 18, 2012 at 1:22

    Oh there are more nutpunches coming if this http://www.politicususa.com/post-election-romney-bain-face-federal-corruption-perjury-hearing.html means anything – Mittens may be going to jail. :)

  313. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 18, 2012 at 1:24

    Oh please, they can’t be that oblivious, it has to be performance art.

    Maine GOP Chair Defends Himself: “I Play Basketball Every Sunday With A Black Guy”

    http://www.alan.com/2012/11/16/maine-gop-chair-defends-himself-i-play-basketball-every-sunday-with-a-black-guy/

  314. Major Kong said,

    November 18, 2012 at 1:43

    Mittens may be going to jail

    Mmmmmmm………….scandalicious!

  315. paperbagmarlys said,

    November 18, 2012 at 2:05

    Haulin’ the Freight, parts one and two are interesting. More please.

    I agree, “Holy shit! Look at the tentacles on that thing!” are fine last words but…you might want to keep in mind the classic “IT’S THE SNAKES!”

  316. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    November 18, 2012 at 2:51

    Is it just me, or did LGM get hacked?

  317. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 18, 2012 at 3:12

    It’s been porned again. *sigh*

  318. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 18, 2012 at 3:52

    Well, I haven’t anything at all to say.
    .

  319. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 18, 2012 at 3:55

    I haz pixure from a couple of weeks back.
    ,

  320. Whale Chowder said,

    November 18, 2012 at 5:13

    Also, let me register here my objection to a stated equality between geekiness and the study of civil emgineering.

    That’s SOLID geek cred. Besides, emgineers are responsible for those delicious chocolaty orbs; what could be better?

  321. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 18, 2012 at 5:16

    Mittens may be going to jail. :)

    He may get that big house on the taxpayers’ dime, after all.

  322. N__B said,

    November 18, 2012 at 5:28

    what could be better?

    Uncivil, nay! RUDE emgineering.

  323. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    November 18, 2012 at 5:45

    “Holy shit! Look at the tentacles on that thing!”

    Sneak into a flight simulator & record this — then YouTube that shit FOR GRAET JUSTICE.

    =D

  324. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2012 at 6:00

    Alright, which one of youse hooligans put this up?
    ~

  325. M. Bouffant said,

    November 18, 2012 at 6:19

    Alright, which one of youse hooligans put this up?
    Meme out of control! Those Wonkers are weird.

    And, not-poop!

  326. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 18, 2012 at 6:39

    Stay classy, Rupert Murdoch.

    In case he takes the tweet down (though it’s been up for three hours as of this post. He might in fact be incapable of shame), he wrote,

    Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti- Israel in every crisis?

  327. M. Bouffant said,

    November 18, 2012 at 7:36

    Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti-Israel in every crisis?
    Because.

  328. CRA said,

    November 18, 2012 at 7:46

    “Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti-Israel in every crisis?”–Rupert Murdoch

    Shorter Murdoch: you can lead a Jew to Israel but you can’t make him think (like Julius Streicher).

    I mean c’mon guys. You’ve got your country, now print whatever nonsense it takes to keep it and Right it.

  329. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    November 18, 2012 at 8:08

    Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti- Israel in every crisis?

    Likely because we haven’t confused our Jewish bonafides with support of Israel’s war machine. What’s the IDF gonna do, not let us be Jews anymore?

  330. Whale Chowder said,

    November 18, 2012 at 8:14

    What’s the IDF gonna do

    Take away your gold star?

  331. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 18, 2012 at 9:11

    Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti- Israel in every crisis?

    Why is the Australian owned press so consistently anti-Jewish in every instance?

  332. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2012 at 9:26

    the Australian owned press

    You know perfectly well that Murdoch is a US citizen at the moment until he upgrades to Chinese.
    Typical rootless cosmopolitan.

  333. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 18, 2012 at 10:03

    a US citizen at the moment until he upgrades to Chinese

    U.S. citizenship. Come for the economic opportunity, stay for the human rights.

  334. El Manquécito said,

    November 18, 2012 at 14:43

    It always cheers me up a little to think of what he paid for myspace. Teehee.

  335. Snorghagen said,

    November 18, 2012 at 17:26

    Murdoch is a US citizen

    Give me your vicious, your rich,
    Your snarling reactionaries yearning to print crappy newspapers,
    The wretched refuse of your teeming journalism schools.

  336. Major Kong said,

    November 18, 2012 at 17:38

    Taking the train down to New Yawk City for the day. Didn’t feel like sitting in a hotel in Fishkill all weekend. Across from a Wal-Mart no less.

  337. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 18, 2012 at 17:54

    Aw, man… the Fishkill Wal*World is having a sale on string cheese this weekend, too.
    .

  338. tigris said,

    November 18, 2012 at 18:20

    I don’t care how strict a vegan you are, cheese should not be made from string.

  339. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 18, 2012 at 18:25

    I don’t care how strict a vegan you are, cheese should not be made from string.

    Ooh, look who’s too good for corporate food.

  340. tigris said,

    November 18, 2012 at 18:30

    Corporations are people, my friend, THEY’RE PEOPLE!

  341. Snorghagen said,

    November 18, 2012 at 18:30

    cheese should not be made from string.

    And peer-reviewed studies have shown that string made from cheese has limited tensile strength.

  342. El Manquecito said,

    November 18, 2012 at 18:47

    Ooh, look who’s too good for corporate food.

    Just about everybody I think.

  343. VCarlson said,

    November 18, 2012 at 19:02

    Corporations are people, my friend, THEY’RE PEOPLE!

    But they make lousy crackers. Probably why corporations have been moved into “Xtra Speshul” people status – the one that lets themkill and maim without facing the same consequences “other” people face. And we are “other,” make no mistake. To The Smiler, especially.

  344. litbrit said,

    November 18, 2012 at 19:19

    There once was a candidate, Mitt,
    Who thought talking fast meant you’re *It*.
    He filled himself full
    With ten cans of Red Bull,
    And then couldn’t think worth a shit.

    – DNT

  345. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 18, 2012 at 20:22

    There once was a robot named Mitt
    That came with no empathy kit
    But they tried and they tried
    Till his logic circuits fried
    When they jammed in all the smarm they could fit.

  346. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    November 18, 2012 at 20:57

    In the heat of the debate, I expected Willard to burst out:

    “All reet! All reet!
    So jeet your seat
    Be fleet be fleet
    Cool and discrete
    Honey…”

    (Too esoteric?)

  347. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:08

    Ooh, look who’s too good for corporate food.

    Feckxsed.

  348. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:17

    “SOYLENT GREEN IS CORPORATIONS!”

  349. tigris said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:19

    Smut is banned.

  350. bughunter said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:22

    Smutless Sundays?

    No thanks.

  351. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:34

    The Lord demands offerings, slaves.

  352. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:43

    Corporations are people, my friend, THEY’RE PEOPLE!

    They’re Soylent Green, my friend!

  353. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 18, 2012 at 21:55

    They’re Soylent Green, my friend!

    Id’ heard of “greenwashing”, but this takes the cake, which is also people a lie.

  354. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:02

    Too esoteric?

    Not for this crowd.

  355. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:07

    And, not-poop!

    Geometry FAIL. Pee is _adjacent_ to poop, not opposite.

  356. Major Kong said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:07

    Eating steak frites at Les Halles. It doesn’t suck.

  357. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:11

    The Lord demands offerings, slaves.
    Illustrated version.

  358. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:19

    “All reet! All reet!
    So jeet your seat

    Tenser, said the Tensor.
    Tenser, said the Tensor.
    Tension, apprehension,
    And dissension have begun.

  359. tigris said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:25

    The Lord demands offerings, slaves.
    Illustrated version.

    Take me out to the Baal game…

  360. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:40

    There’s a good depiction of Moloch in Druillet’s version of ‘Salammbo’, but I can’t be arsed uploading a copy.

  361. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 18, 2012 at 22:53

    This is one those things where I’m not even sure how to go about snarking…

  362. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 18, 2012 at 23:03

    To the commenter formerly known as vacuumslayer, I suggest that “cum eunuch” makes for an excellent opener.

  363. tigris said,

    November 18, 2012 at 23:16

    This is one those things where I’m not even sure how to go about snarking…

    That guy needs a good spanking.

  364. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2012 at 23:23

    I suggest that “cum eunuch” makes for an excellent opener.

    Pupienus always has the best chat-up-line advice.

  365. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 18, 2012 at 23:23

    Eating steak frites at Les Halles. It doesn’t suck.

    Not one bit!

  366. CRA said,

    November 18, 2012 at 23:37

    Murdoch now tweets:

    “,Jewish owned press” have been sternly criticised, suggesting link to Jewish reporters. Don’t see this, but apologise unreservedly.

    This is not how you apologise “unreservedly.” And what’s up with that initial comma, and the “have been”? (I’m not bothering with the gist of it.) Golly, the man is sloppy.

  367. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 19, 2012 at 0:06

    All of Murdoch’s tweets are horribly written. The man writes like he hardly speaks English.

    Not Senator Chuck Grassley bad, but still…

  368. WTf. said,

    November 19, 2012 at 0:25

    The GOP keeps on raving on about Benghazi…

    WTF?

    Do they think there are WMD’s over there or something?

  369. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 1:23

    Damnit! I go offline for half a day and miss Major Kong in town!

  370. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 1:43

    Damnit! I go offline for half a day and miss Major Kong in town!

    I have another one of these trips in two weeks.

  371. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:08

    Jeffraham: Human Tennis Ball.
    .

  372. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:10

    Major – Click my nym for my email. I’m guessing it’s poor form to offer to buy a beer to a pilot on a layover, but I’m sure we can find a virgin substitute.

  373. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:28

    I’m guessing it’s poor form to offer to buy a beer to a pilot on a layover, but I’m sure we can find a virgin substitute.

    Not at all. I have a 3-day layover so I’ll be able to drink. We normally fly in on Saturday morning and don’t fly back out until Monday night.

  374. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:32

    For Jeffraham:

    NYPD Scooters

  375. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:37

    For Jeffraham:

    NYPD Scooters

    Piaggio BVs, of some displacement.

    Saddened me to see them used against Occupiers.
    .

  376. Smut Clyde said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:45

    Golly, the man is sloppy.
    It’s not easy fitting a bullshit nonpology (“I am saddened that someone misunderstood my words so badly as to take offense at them, and I apologise unreservedly apart from the reservation that I have done nothing wrong”) within 140 characters.

  377. Nym said,

    November 19, 2012 at 2:55

    You know, I’m pretty sure THIS qualifies as a shanda fur die goyim.

  378. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 3:27

    In that case, I know some good saloons that will even admit B^4.

  379. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 3:46

    If anyone wants Sandy pr0n: http://ny.curbed.com/archives/2012/11/14/vertigoinducing_photos_of_the_collapsed_one57_crane.php

  380. LittlePig said,

    November 19, 2012 at 4:09

    Too esoteric?

    I was going for Kay_Kaiser myself.

    “That’s right! You’re wrong!”

  381. Whale Chowder said,

    November 19, 2012 at 4:20

    For you two-wheeled pipples, papa’s got a brand new bag.

  382. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 4:25

    Nice

  383. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 19, 2012 at 4:39

    WTF! I can’t decide whether the Stillers uniforms are the result of a meth-addled exec or a brilliant “look into the whirling spiral” strategic gambit. Shor am ugly, do doubt.

  384. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 19, 2012 at 4:44

    Izzat an FJ? I wish I had one ub dem tingies this summer when I put 2900 miles on my SV1000S (with the GSXR front end and clip-ons) in a week. It wasn’t that bad really, except for trying to keep up with my brothers down the Lost Coast where I thought a dirt bike would have been more apt.

    OTOH, on CA-36 I was GONE!

  385. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 19, 2012 at 4:51

    In that case, I know some good saloons that will even admit B^4.

    Hell, I even know some taverners of good standing. In two weeks, let’s plan out a bender in NYC.

  386. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:09

    I vouch for the B^4 and N__B ability ability to drink the whole bar under the table. At certain places.

  387. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:27

    The average girl scout could probably drink me under the table.

  388. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:34

    That’s got to be a euphemism for something.

  389. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:47

    I’m pretty sure THIS qualifies as a shanda fur die goyim.

    Oh dear … that is not good.

    “The more qassam fire intensifies and the rockets reach a longer range, they (the Palestinians) will bring upon themselves a bigger shoah because we will use all our might to defend ourselves”

    Your situational comprehension failure – let me show you it.

  390. Whale Chowder said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:48

    It’s an FJR 1300, 2011. It’s way faster than I’ll ever be (but so was my Zook). More importantly, it’ll provide top quality two-up touring for me and mah honey over just about any paved surface you’d care to imagine. For about a $6K discount vs. the comparable BMW. I love getting world class performance on the cheap.

  391. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:51

    Just watched License to Kill. I don’t know why everyone’s so down on that film. It had great action, Dalton was fantastic, and Carey Lowell and Talisa Soto definitely satisfied my Male Gaze. Oh well.

  392. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:57

    For you two-wheeled pipples, papa’s got a brand new bag.

    YARRRRmaha!

    In the mirror, AHAMAY.
    .

  393. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 5:59

    I always liked Dalton as Bond. He’s not my favorite Bond, but I thought he was solid.

  394. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:09

    I like Gold Bond Powder.
    .

  395. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:12

    I like Gold Bond Powder.

    With all the Bond movies with “gold” in the name, I’m surprised there isn’t some sort of tie-in.

  396. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:15

    With all the Bond movies with “gold” in the name, I’m surprised there isn’t some sort of tie-in.

    Like Goldenrod. Yeah.
    .

  397. Nym said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:32

    Dalton did a good job portraying the Bond of the novels– but the movies he was in hadn’t quite let go of all the Roger Moore-era wacky baggage.

  398. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:41

    but the movies he was in hadn’t quite let go of all the Roger Moore-era wacky baggage.

    Really? I haven’t seen his other one yet, but License seemed downright gritty compared to most of the pre-reboot Bonds I’ve seen. The villain was just a rich drug lord who bribed everybody, the death-traps were just things lying around that the villain happened to stuff people into, and the gadgets were barely used. The only really out-there wacky thing I can think of is that one scene that had ninjas for some reason, but that didn’t have much screen-time.

  399. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:44

    Everything’s better with ninjas.

  400. Spengler Dampniche said,

    November 19, 2012 at 6:44

    I’m drinking nutpunch all this holiday season.

  401. Another Kiwi said,

    November 19, 2012 at 7:26

    See the way that the Israelis talked back the Shoah reference? This time it apparently meant a catastrophe or some other very bad thing. Not like all those other times when people said Holocaust and it can only mean one thing. Someone’s having their mouth stapled shut right now, I bet.

  402. Whale Chowder said,

    November 19, 2012 at 8:35

    I’m drinking nutpunch all this holiday season.

    Another aggressor in the War on Christmas.

  403. islmfaoscist said,

    November 19, 2012 at 8:47

    Taking the long view, one might conclude it was sheer strategic idiocy for a a nuclear-capable nation to defy international precedent against the acceptability of overt assassination during peacetime.

  404. Snorghagen said,

    November 19, 2012 at 12:59

    Everything’s better with ninjas.

    Except dental work.

  405. Smut Clyde said,

    November 19, 2012 at 13:10

    Everything’s better with ninjas.
    That reminds me, I need to work on my reinterpretation of the Commedia del’Arte as a martial-arts battle between Harlequinja and his various antagonists.

  406. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 19, 2012 at 14:34

    I’m sorry, you cannot pass. Not until you pay the “Gay Tax.”

  407. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 19, 2012 at 14:41

    Dalton was fantastic

    I thought I was the only person to like Dalton as Bond.

  408. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 14:59

    I liked Dalton better as a Bond villain in Hot Fuzz.

  409. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 19, 2012 at 15:54

    Happy World Toilet Day everybody!

  410. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 19, 2012 at 15:54

    Was he in “Hot Fuzz?” I don’t remember. Movie didn’t make much of an impact on me, except that it seemed to have very muddled aims. Looking back, I imagine the guys were trying to make a comedy/horror like “Sean of the Dead” gently having fun with the horror that is every day life…but it wasn’t nearly as successful.

  411. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 16:38

    Hot Fuzz: http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsD/4110-27300.gif

  412. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 17:02

    I liked Dalton better as a Bond villain in Hot Fuzz.

    I even liked him hamming it up as the villain in The Rocketeer.

  413. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 17:14

    Let us not forget his best role, in the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!

    Prince Barin in Flash Gordon.

    FLASH!
    Aaaah aaaaah
    He’ll save every one of us!

  414. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 19, 2012 at 18:27

    I have played the theme from Flash Gordon live.

    It is fun.

  415. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 19, 2012 at 18:34

    Also!

  416. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 19, 2012 at 19:14

    Phillip Morris (if that really is his name) tries to be oh-so-reasonable but in the end (heh) is just another apologist for bullying. Here, yafuckin twit, is how you know what you can say: you can’t say anything about a minority person that is intended to demean or insult. Yeah, what that twatwaffle newsreader said was childish, you are correct there. What you don’t get is that it was childish because it was intentionally hurtful you fucking slimy shit ball. When Rachel Maddow talks about herself she is speaking anti-ironically, in a self-deprecating style. When you and your enema barrel troglodytes types say the same things you are doing it to be nasty. You didnt want to have an answer to the question in the first place, you just wanted to moan that you are so fucking oppressed. Fuck off with your “reasonable questions” before I smack some reason into you.

  417. Fenwick said,

    November 19, 2012 at 19:43

    Spengler! Nicetaseeya.

  418. Suezboo said,

    November 19, 2012 at 19:49

    Pup – quite so. This is me being reasonable.

    OK – Charlie Pierce is back on duty. Good. BUT – a new layout and I can’t get the fking comments to open.I tried clicking the little grid thingie icon, double clicking, right clicking – WHAT THE FUCK? I am mighty pissed. Can anyone help?

  419. Snorghagen said,

    November 19, 2012 at 19:53

    Phillip Morris (if that really is his name)

    His real name is Winston Marlboro Camel III.

  420. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 19, 2012 at 19:54

    Dalton also played an evil Time Lord on Doctor Who.

    James Bond being a Time Lord certainly explains why he keeps turning into different people.

  421. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 19, 2012 at 20:07

    For you two-wheeled pipples, papa’s got a brand new bag.

    Nice! After a few two-up rides on my Thruxton I would definitely appreciate something like that FJ. They really needn’t have bothered with the rear pegs and a removable rear cowl on the Thruxton.

  422. tigris said,

    November 19, 2012 at 21:02

    Fuck off with your “reasonable questions” before I smack some reason into you.

    For God’s sake: no mercy, no second chances, JUST START SMACKING.

  423. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 21:16

    Hey Suezboo (have I ever asked why you nymmed yourself after a canal?),

    Finally got around to reading Lauren Beukes’ Moxyland. Thought it was damn good but I admit to struggling with some of the slang and my near total lack of geographical awareness wrt southern Africa. Not to mention being only barely aware of the political situation. Imma pepper you with qustions this week while reading Zoo City.

  424. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 21:17

    For God’s sake: no mercy, no second chances, JUST START SMACKING.

    Whattaya tink I am, tsam or sumpin?

    *It is good advice, give ya that.

  425. Suezboo said,

    November 19, 2012 at 21:58

    Sigh – always being confused with a body of water can make one cranky. It’s really boring, really,.My brother used to call me Sue -zee -boo in our extreme youth. When he emigrated to the US of A, he wanted to show off how assimilated he was and started used SueZBoo to show he now pronounced Zed as Zee. Um – is that clear? or worse?
    Please ask questions, Pup, I love when people show an interest in our country and its history which is really fascinating.

  426. VCarlson said,

    November 19, 2012 at 21:59

    What Philip Morris doesn’t seem to know is if you’re someone with a reasonable expectation that people are going to make fun of you (pretty much anyone who isn’t a conventional looking straight white male), it sometimes hurts less if you say what you think they’re going to say first. And if you’re in the dominant group, you don’t say it. Ever.

    That said, WTF is this about Rachel Maddow looking like a guy? She looks like a young woman to me. Is it the short hair? Lots of women don’t look good with long hair, others can’t be arsed to invest the time and money a complex hairstyle requires. See Jacqueline Pearce as Servalan sure vamped it up. Of course, Mr. Morris would probably have a shrinking sensation, as Servalan epitomized “powerful woman” (and stock baddie).

  427. El Manquécito said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:06

    Lots of women don’t look good with long hair

    Citation needed.

  428. El Manquécito said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:07

    Lots of women don’t look good with short hair.

    Citation needed.

  429. Origami Isopod said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:13

    El Manquécito: Looks are subjective, of course, but whether one’s hair length is flattering to one’s face depends on the shape of one’s face and the texture and thickness of one’s hair.

    Unrelatedly: John Nolte, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

  430. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:18

    whether one’s hair length is flattering to one’s face depends on the shape of one’s face

    You just have it reshaped. Duh.

  431. Origami Isopod said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:26

    You just have it reshaped. Duh.

    It takes forever to clean out the waffle iron afterward.

  432. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:27

    Yeah, some women look terrific with short hair, some notsomuch. Same goes for long hair. Honestly, I think the same can be said for men.

    Rachel Maddow does not look like a man. She looks like a tall lesbian with short hair. She’s adorable.

  433. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:33

    Guess who has two thumbs, pink bunny ears, and shortribs braised in red wine. THIS GAL.

  434. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:35

    I would think there wouldn’t be very much meat on bunny shortribs.

  435. VCarlson said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:37

    Guess who has two thumbs, pink bunny ears, and shortribs braised in red wine. THIS GAL.

    Didn’t it hurt?

  436. El Manquécito said,

    November 19, 2012 at 22:40

    It takes forever to clean out the waffle iron afterward.

    No kidding.

  437. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:04

    I would think there wouldn’t be very much meat on bunny shortribs.

    These look to be fairly meaty.

  438. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:13

    WTF?

  439. Djur said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:15

    HEY GUYS.

    I know this to be the ideal place for discussing food on the Internets. I am particularly looking to our good friend Pupienus, who I recall having many good opinions on the subject of cooking large chunks of meat.

    I’m making dinner for my folks on Thanksgiving. I want to do something in the slow cooker or in a pot — some sort of large, tender chunk o’ critter. No fucking turkey for me, no fucking ham. There’s a handful of “maybes” who might be coming, so I’m looking to feed six or so but don’t care if there’s leftovers to munch on for the next few days.

    Only real limitation is that the old man has honky tastebuds and can’t take much heat, and doesn’t like cilantro.

    Please to be helping your old friend Djur.

  440. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:19

    Get a bone-in chuck roast and braise it.

  441. Major Kong said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:21

    I made daube de boef for my rural in-laws and they loved it.

  442. N__B said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:31

    I want to do something in the slow cooker or in a pot — some sort of large, tender chunk o’ critter.

    Children are far more tender than adults.

  443. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:34

    I’m drinking nutpunch all this holiday season.

    You’ve made a wise decision.

  444. Suezboo said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:35

    Just an example of how complicated it can get :
    In our valley we just had a farmworkers strike. Seems straight forward – workers want more money. Ha. It got nasty pretty quick. Burning, looting, dancing and singing in the streets. The police arrested about 40 people – turns out none of them were farmworkers. The Usual Suspects :
    1. Actual workers
    2. Unemployed youth always ready for some fun.
    3. Gangsters and assorted criminals always ready for some looting.
    4. ANC Youth League has vowed to make our province – Western Cape- ungovernable. This is the only province (out of 10) ruled by the opposition, the DA and consistently ranked the best-run. The YL are basically thugs who don’t give a shit for the People, only the Party.
    5. So, they burned down vineyards, packing stores etc. Now, there is nowhere for the workers to get jobs.
    6. The Union whom the workers say they do not trust and does not speak for them.
    7. The farmers who are being hard-assed.
    8. The Govt that has called for a boycott of SA wines FFS.
    9. Xenophobia. Local Politicians stirring up hate between coloureds and black people from Eastern Cape or further North in Africa.
    Like I say, It’s Never Straightforward in SA.
    Sorry for tl;dr. But I am exercised by the farmworkers wanting more money, a fair demand, and all the destruction of their livelihood.

  445. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:41

    Movie didn’t make much of an impact on me, except that it seemed to have very muddled aims.

    Muddling the aims…

    Sigh – always being confused with a body of water can make one cranky. It’s really boring, really,.My brother used to call me Sue -zee -boo in our extreme youth. When he emigrated to the US of A, he wanted to show off how assimilated he was and started used SueZBoo to show he now pronounced Zed as Zee. Um – is that clear? or worse?

    It’s funny, for a long time, I was in Pup’s camp until the realization hit me- your nym rhymes with this.

  446. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:45

    Only real limitation is that the old man has honky tastebuds and can’t take much heat, and doesn’t like cilantro.

    Uh, guess I won’t suggest curry goat.

  447. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:45

    Major Kong is on the right track: Daube of beef Arlesienne.

    You want slow? Nigella’s 24 hour raosted pork is just the ticket. First time I did it I did not expect the awesomeness that resulted.

    Beef bourgignon is actually pretty easy. Julia’s method is THE best but a little bit more involved. Ina Garten’s looks to be decent.

    While we’re on the subject of St. Julia, her pot roast provencale is another recipe that should be in everyone’s repertoire. DO NOT use the eye round or bottom round suggested there. Chuck, with its abundance of gelatinous goodness is perfect here.

    You could go really high brow with (delicious, fabulous, wonderful, amazing) osso buco. I serve it with rice. I also kink up the gremolata (as B^4 knows) with some grated horseradish. Make extra gremolata.

    How about rich delicious Bolognese? Mario has the goods. I use more mirepoix than he does, and more garlic too.

    Also FYWP too.

  448. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:46

    I’m drinking nutpunch all this holiday season.

    You’ve joined the teabaggers?

  449. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:49

    Fucked up the osso buco link. It was to Mario’s method (you can to google, yes you can!) and i mentioned using more mirepoix than he does.

  450. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:50

    You want “no fucking turkey no fucking ham”? Bouillabaisse.

  451. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 19, 2012 at 23:50

    Also and such as, I was confused by the canal nym onfor a short while. I’m not THAT stupid.

    *SHUT UP EVERYBODY!

  452. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:06

    I also kink up the gremolata (as B^4 knows) with some grated horseradish. Make extra gremolata.

    Kinky! I haven’t made gremolata in a long time (all of the lemon zest tends to go towards making limoncello).

  453. Major Kong said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:14

    I shall have to try adding horseradish to my gremolata next time I make osso buco.

  454. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:17

    Djur, I’d go for Christmas pasta and make a Sunday Gravy in the crockpot. And what I made tonight–shortribs braised in red wine–would make a spectacular holiday meal, I’d think.

  455. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:17

    I also kink up the gremolata

    Kinky Roots.

  456. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:19

    Do it – add just enough to give it that extra dimension, not so much that it overwhelms. It’s a perfect foil for the unctuous veal. Especially with the marrow – unhnhnhnunhnunh marrow.

  457. Djur said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:24

    This is all very helpful. Now I have to figure out where to buy these large chunks of meat. Longtime vegetarian here, don’t know how to shop other than grunting frantically at the butcher at New Seasons, and I’m fairly sure they either (a) don’t have the larger cuts I need or (b) will charge me as if each ounce was individually wrapped in pure gold.

  458. Smut Clyde said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:27

    I would think there wouldn’t be very much meat on bunny shortribs.
    These look to be fairly meaty.

    Let us know if you ever want to guest-post at Riddled.

  459. Major Kong said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:33

    Now I have to figure out where to buy these large chunks of meat

    If you want to go cheap, a chuck roast is pretty inexpensive. The veal shanks for osso buco would be a little more pricey.

    Keep in mind that braising was invented for tenderizing cheap cuts of meat that were too tough to do anything else with. It sounds fancy, but it was invented by poor people who couldn’t afford the expensive cuts.

    Expensive cuts like sirloin don’t respond well to braising – you want something with some fat and connective tissue, preferably still on the bone.

    The long, slow cooking process will tenderize the meat and incorporate all that connective tissue into your sauce.

  460. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:46

    The osso buco can be hard to find. Safeway and Freddie don’t carry it most of the time. When I make it for Teh Ho every December 23 (his birthday – its either osso buco or fried chicken and potato salad) I pay through the nose* for excellent veal shanks at City Markup – er, Market on NW 21st.

    I don’t buy much meat from New Seasons (and almost never at Zupan’s who could afford that?).

    If you’re making beef, you’re in luck – braised and stews are best with the cheaper cuts. You can find a boneless chuck roast at Safeway or Fred Meyer for prolly circa $4 / lb. or less. I buy cheap beef at Winco where it’s usually closer to $3 per. Ground veal is also to be had at the Safeway/Fred Meyer/QFC and maybe Albertson’s too but I NEVER shop at Albertson’s.

    *Hahaha no, that’s an “idiom.” I don’t literally pay though the nose you sillies!

  461. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:51

    I don’t eat a lot of beef, but I usually buy I find that beef heart is extremely cheap (buck-sixty-nine a pound where I get it) and really tasty. Being a muscle, it doesn’t have much of that “organ meat” taste. It’s great in chili, stir-fried, and pickled (it’s like the poor-folks’ steak). It’s like the “gateway” organ meat.

  462. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 20, 2012 at 0:53

    Longtime vegetarian here

    Do you know any pescatarians? Because bouillabaisse.

  463. Fenwick said,

    November 20, 2012 at 1:13

    adding horseradish to my gremolata

    Is that what the kids are calling it now?

  464. El Manquécito said,

    November 20, 2012 at 1:18

    Cooking: how hard can it be???

  465. Smut Clyde said,

    November 20, 2012 at 1:23

    .how hard can it be???
    That’s what she said.

  466. Djur said,

    November 20, 2012 at 1:31

    Any suggestions for large chunks of pig rather than big chunks of cow? I ate a ton of beef stew over the weekend (campin’) and I feel like something different.

  467. Major Kong said,

    November 20, 2012 at 1:40

    Pork shoulder works good for braising.

    There is a Tuscan recipe for wild boar that works equally well with domestic pork.

    http://www.brokenarrowranch.com/Recipes/ClassicWBTuscanStew.htm

  468. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 1:59

    Dd you not see the 24 hour roasted pork? Looks like it would just be another roasted pr0k dish but something magical happens in the oven over that long slow cook. As I said before, even I was astonished at the incredible goodiness. And it’s so fucking easy!

    Milk braised pork shoulder is another favorite. Incredibly easy, you can make it in the crockpot (but do brown it off first – lots of flavor in doing that).

    Djur are you paying attention here, hmmmmmm?

    Cut up a pork shoulder into _very_ big pieces and make a delicious bigos. C’mon BBBB, time for you to chime in here!

  469. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:07

    I am saddened that I have not seen mention of beer in all this talk of braising.

  470. bughunter, falling behind again, said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:15

    Agreed on all of the above re: braising.

    Cook it covered in a heavy-lidded dutch oven. Wrap the lid in a doubled-over sheet of aluminum foil to help keep the moisture in. Cook very low: 285 to 325 F. Lower is better, but takes longer. Test for doneness by grabbing the hunk of meat with tongs. If it holds together in one piece, keep cooking. For a 5 lb roast, you can expect to cook it for 6 to 8 hours at 285F… if you cook at 325 it won’t take quite so long, but DON’T TURN THE OVEN ANY HIGHER or you will just have tough, dry meat.

    Braising will RUIN a lean, expensive cut of beef or pork, because it lacks cartilage and fat. You want a cheap cut, well marbled, with lots of different muscles held together by cartilage. This cartilage is what turns into gelatin at temperatures between 270-290F, but this process stops at higher temps. (The same thing happens during smoking, but operating a meat smoker takes a lot more skill.) Fortunately, braising is very easy to do.

    Djur sound like a beginner at braising big hunks of meat, so here’s detailed copypasta from an old email:

    Beef cuts to look for: Shoulder roast, short ribs, chuck roast, seven-bone roast, flank steak (a big one), ox tails, or anything called “pot roast”… some people also say rump and round roasts, but I disagree (they’re leaner than the others).

    Pork cuts: Picnic or Shoulder roasts, country-style ribs, or blade roasts. If you want to braise pork chops, make sure they say “sirloin chops” because the other parts of the “chop” are too lean these days.

    Also prepare a mirepoix: 3 celery stalks, 2 med carrots, and 1 large onion – all chopped fine.

    You’ll also need a couple of cans of chicken stock, and some salt and pepper.

    Everything else is optional, to the taste of the chef. I like to add a dollop of liquid smoke, and a rounded teaspoon of poultry seasoning. And of course, garlic.

    Whatever the cut, pat it dry with paper towels, and liberally season it on all sides with salt and pepper (save garlic powder or chili powder or anything that will scorch until later). Preheat the oven to about 300 degrees, after removing the center rack.

    Heat up a couple tablespoons of soy or peanut oil in your dutch oven on the range over medium high heat, and when the oil shimmers and threatens to smoke, place your roast in the pot and sear it on all sides. This creates a LOT of flavor and will make your dish a winner. Do not skip this step. (It also makes your house smell great.)

    Once the meat is browned or if the fond threatens to burn, turn down the heat to medium-low. Remove the meat and put it on a plate. Use a little more oil to sautee your mirepoix and when the onions are clear and the celery soft, add a half cup of the chicken stock to loosen the browned bits of meat. Here’s also where you add in any other dry spices or fresh herbs (garlic powder, thyme, etc.)

    Return the meat and any juices in the plate to the pot, and add the rest of the chicken stock and any other liquid ingredients, covering the meat only halfway or perhaps a little more. It should not be completely submerged.

    Cover with the foil wrapped lid and put it in the oven. Cook at 285 for 6-8 hours. Start checking doneness after about 4 hours, just in case. If you want a sliceable roast, then you can pull it out just before it falls apart.

    If you want a traditional pot roast, put in halved peeled potatoes, chunks of carrots, and maybe turnips or pearl onions or anything else that seems right (turnips, quartered cabbage, etc.) about an hour before the meat is done.

    Remove the meat and any veggies from the pot and put on a plate or serving dish and cover with foil. Don’t discard the juices! Separate the fat out (a fat strainer works, or use a turkey baster to get the liquid from below the fat layer, or use paper towels to blot up the fat). Put the recovered juices on the stove (either in the dutch oven or a saucepan) and boil rapidly until reduced about a third. Make a slurry of 1T flour and 1/3 cup water in an empty jar and shake vigorously. Stir this into the liquid and simmer another 5-10 minutes until thickened. Now you have gravy.

  471. bughunter, falling behind again, said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:18

    Oh, and as for where to buy: Costco.

    It’s very good quality meats at great prices. And I won’t buy meat anywhere else anymore once I learned that they’re the ONLY store that requires EVERY batch of its ground beef to pass tests for E. coli contamination.

  472. bughunter, falling behind again, said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:19

    Sorry OBS, but wine makes a better braising liquid than beer for everything except bratwurst.

  473. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:33

    Cut up a pork shoulder into _very_ big pieces and make a delicious bigos. C’mon BBBB, time for you to chime in here!

    Sorry, I was too busy re-reading comments to Eric Dondero’s freakout… One of my go-to dishes is braised cabbage with delicious pork products. Pork shoulder is cheap and tasty- do what Pup says, and braise it in a bit of white wine with kielbasa or other smoked sausage, chunks of slab bacon, hamhocks or smoked pork neck, fresh cabbage, sauerkraut, julienned carrots, sliced onions, bay leaf, carraway seeds or juniper berries- hell, throw in whatever you want. I always throw in plenty of garlic and hot peppers, even if they’re not traditional. It’s even better the next day, like most stews. You can keep the pot simmering for days, topping it off with stuff until you get sick of all that cabbage.

  474. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:34

    Oh, and don’t forget the apples in the bigos! Also, don’t be afraid to mix up your cabbages- I like a combination of red and green.

  475. bughunter said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:38

    This cartilage is what turns into gelatin at temperatures between 270-290F

    Sorry, I failed. This should have been written 170-190F.

    I blame WP. It’s always WP’s fault.

  476. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:43

    Sorry OBS, but wine makes a better braising liquid than beer for everything except bratwurst.

    Carbonnade a la flamande would like to have a word with you. Beef short ribs braised in stout is an awesome thing. Guinness stew, anyone?

  477. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:53

    Regarding large chunks of meat, how about a leg-o-lamb? Rosemary and garlic, or coriander and cumin- any sort of spice rub will do with that baby.

  478. Major Kong said,

    November 20, 2012 at 2:57

    Braised lamb shanks = yum

  479. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 20, 2012 at 3:21

    Citation needed.

    This brings me back to License to Kill.

    Here’s Carey Lowell towards the beginning of the movie…

    And here’s here though most of the rest.

    Now, she still looks good with it longer, but I say her face is made for short hair.

    By the way, here’s what she looks like now. She’s 51. Yowza.

  480. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 20, 2012 at 3:29

    *her

  481. M. Bouffant said,

    November 20, 2012 at 4:33

    Doesn’t matter what color the bunny ears are, there can’t be much meat on them, just cartilage.

    Thanksgiving plans: DiGiorno’s Three Meat pizza.

    Going to sauté some bacon now.

  482. N__B said,

    November 20, 2012 at 4:45

    Going to sauté some bacon now.

    That sounds suspiciously French. Is it mormon bacon?

  483. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:23

    Seriously, only faggy frenchy pipples “sauté” bacon. Real Murcans just fucking cook it. Fry it. Broil it. Bake it even, on parchment paper which is the best way since it comes out nicely crispy and cleanup is a breeze. Plus it’s easy to drain PFC the fat into the CUTEST DOG IN THE WORLD‘s kibble so he will eat it up yum.

  484. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:25

    Hmmm… http://imgur.com/I10qd

  485. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:26

    Spearhafoc: is she the one that was on “Law and Order” many years ago? I had no idea she was a bond girl too.

  486. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:30

    So we watched Walking Dead and I mentioned to Teh Ho that the “invisibility” of the woman splattered with zombie juice was, as far as I know, invented by some hack writer named Ben Trippy or something. Imma waiting to see if they rip off the protective leather suiting thing which, to my not terribly zombie-lit awareness, was first seen in that book thingy Rise Agaanagainandagainoncemoretoo or whatever.

  487. bughunter said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:39

    While we’re doing recipes:

    NOT YOUR DADDY’S FRANKS AND BEANS
    I’ve been perfecting this weeknight dinner for years. It takes about 15 minutes to prepare and 15 minutes to simmer. The minced ham gives it a tooth that will make you want to eat the entire thing yourself, but it’s supposed to serve two. I try to find an excuse to make this at least weekly, and it’s also perfect for the week before Thanksgiving, when the last thing you want to do is slave over dinner.

    I keep a small ramekin of roux handy in the fridge for this and other recipes… I also have a box of “Potato Starch Flour” in the pantry in case I run out of roux.

    1 can Pinto Beans (or Great Northern, or White Kidney)
    2 slices Canadian Bacon (or thick cut deli ham)
    2 Hot Links (or Kosher Franks or Andouille or 1/2 lb Kielbasa)
    1/4 cup TJ’s Salsa Autentica (or Pace Picante if you must)
    1 T blonde roux (or a slurry of 1t flour in 1/4 c water – potato flour works best)
    1/2 c grated sharp cheddar cheese
    half a small yellow onion, minced fine

    Mince the canadian bacon until it’s finely chopped. Split each sausage lengthwise and slice into thin slices. Lightly oil a 2 qt saucepan with cooking spray or olive oil and brown sausages over med high heat, halfway through, add canadian bacon and finish browning. (Careful, the ham loves to jump out of the pan!)

    Open the can of beans and drain it into the pan. Use the bean liquid to deglaze the fond from the meat. Add the remainder of the can of beans and the salsa. When this begins to simmer, add the roux or thickening slurry. Cover and simmer over very low heat, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes or until thickened.

    Garnish with grated cheddar and minced onion and more salsa if desired. Serve with ice cold lager or wiess beer.

    Serves two adults, or one bachelor.

  488. N__B said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:45

    TWD had invisibility through deaderfume in season 1.

  489. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    November 20, 2012 at 5:51

    is she the one that was on “Law and Order” many years ago?

    Yup.

  490. bughunter said,

    November 20, 2012 at 6:47

    Beef short ribs braised in stout is an awesome thing. Guinness stew, anyone?

    OK now I have tasted both of these things, and was left with completely different impressions — despite them both sounding similar.

    Stout braised short ribs: meh. I had this at a place in town that is one of my go to places for its braised meats (Smitty’s Grill in Pasadena) and I was disappointed.

    I usually add 1c of red wine when I do short ribs or osso bucco or anything with a bone, because I think the brightness of the wine helps balance the depth bone marrow. The stout seemed to do no such thing and really, I couldn’t detect it.

    Guinness Stew: fuckin-a. OK, this was made by a friend, who is a professional chef (Cordon Bleu trained private chef for a one-percenter)… dunno if it was just a better chef, or the Guinness, but I could taste the sweetness of the malt, and the caramelization, even with the beef and the vegetables. I would try to reproduce it someday, but my mother-in-law regularly makes killer stew (not Guinness) so there’s really no demand in my household for me to make stew.

  491. bughunter said,

    November 20, 2012 at 6:50

    the depth bone marrow

    As in “the depth of the bone marrow.

    For the casual neglect of prepositions and articles, I blame nonlinear composition. And alcohol.

    And WP of course.

  492. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 20, 2012 at 6:54

    I think I will have frozen waffles on Thursday.
    .

  493. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 20, 2012 at 6:59

    So, the coppers (in authentic Metro uniforms) pull of “the councilman” who’s running against Rayna’s hubbie for mayor of Twitty City. He says he has “an important meeting downtown,” but he is pulled over entering Percy Warner Park! Well now, that will make the locals’ blooper reel!
    .

  494. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    November 20, 2012 at 7:23

    Stout braised short ribs: meh. I had this at a place in town that is one of my go to places for its braised meats (Smitty’s Grill in Pasadena) and I was disappointed.

    Eh. Whattaya expect in Pasafuckingdena? Properly done it’s fabulous. Just because some “professional chef” made it don’t mean shit. Most “professional chefs” are crap. 90% of professional chefs are crap, sayeth Ted Sturgeon and Pupienus.

    I know a few Belgian cooks that feel the same way. But hey, you wanna be a fuching Phyllis Stein, go ahead,

  495. bughunter said,

    November 20, 2012 at 7:54

    Whattaya expect in Pasafuckingdena?

    Sez someone who knows nothing of the Smith Brothers.

  496. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    November 20, 2012 at 8:16

    Food fight!

    Also, too: new thread.

  497. M. Bouffant said,

    November 20, 2012 at 9:10

    the Smith Brothers
    The cough drop moguls?

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