And then Spider Jerusalem hits him with the Bowel Disruptor, just to rub it in.
Ashley Parker, New York Times blog: The Caucus:
Romney Blames Loss on Obama’s ‘Gifts’ to Minorities and Young Voters
Ah, we are finally entering the long lull where we never again have to think of The Smiler, or how narrowly we dodged the bullet of having a true sociopath as Leader of the “Free World”.
But before we let The Smiler go finally to the White Horse graveyard, let us give his departing hiney one last kick as it goes through the door.
And let us note just how perfect The Smiler was as a candidate for the wingnuts. Despite all their protestations about how very Mormon he was, no other candidate, not ratfucking Nixon nor treason-in-service-to-getting-elected Reagan, has ever more perfectly captured the exact moral character of today’s wingnuts.
Only someone as willfully deluded as wingnuts could have been as legitimately shocked as The Smiler and his crew when they found out that all the polls really were right. Only someone as entitled and moronic as a wingnut could have thought that appealing to much needed latino and women voters was just a matter of calling latin@s racists for not supporting the white guy who hated them and appointing Paul “women deserve to be raped” Ryan as Vice President.
And as such The Smiler exits with much the same anguished cry that wingnuts have been entertaining us this past week. Specifically:
Shorter The Smiler(or the last port before Jungle):
- If only those niggers, spics, cunts, and those damn fag-loving whipper-snappers had realized that they aren’t real people and aren’t allowed to vote or be at all served by government, then I could have secured my birthright as prophesied! If there isn’t a better example of election fraud, I’ve yet to hear it!
Let’s jump in, shall we?
Saying that he and his team still felt “troubled” by his loss to President Obama,
Awww, does baby have a boo-boo? Then let me just twist the knife and make it all better.
Mitt Romney on Wednesday attributed his defeat in part to what he called big policy “gifts” that the president had bestowed on loyal Democratic constituencies, including young voters, African-Americans and Hispanics.
Gifts?!? Why scandal and outrage! Never before has a political candidate promised gifts to the electorate if they would only give them their vote! Like promising everyone in the USA a tax cut while having no cuts to popular programs. That sort of thing would just be wrong.
In a conference call with fund-raisers and donors to his campaign, Mr. Romney said Wednesday afternoon that the president had followed the “old playbook” of using targeted initiatives to woo specific interest groups — “especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people.”
OH MY FUCKING BOB! The nerve of that black devil!
Daring, I say, I say, Daring to… Have the gall to…
I know, I know. You were really sure that the combination of voter suppression, unlimited funding, voter intimidation, and outright fraud would steal you the election from those whiny little 99%ers, but as long as we’re still pretending to be a democracy, you still needed the majority of people to vote for you. Or at least an electoral majority of the states.
Acting like it’s against the rules for people to campaign against you is one of the chief reasons that you got your ass handed to you as brutally as you did. And thank Bob for that. But hey, it’s not like you’re about to say something really offensive or nothi-
“With regards to the young people, for instance, a forgiveness of college loan interest was a big gift,” Mr. Romney said. “Free contraceptives were very big with young, college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people. They turned out in large numbers, a larger share in this election even than in 2008.”
The president’s health care plan, he said, was also a useful tool in mobilizing black and Hispanic voters. Though Mr. Romney won the white vote with 59 percent, according to exit polls, minorities coalesced around the president in overwhelming numbers: 93 percent of blacks and 71 percent of Hispanics.
“You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care, particularly if you don’t have it, getting free health care worth, what, $10,000 per family, in perpetuity — I mean, this is huge,” Mr. Romney said. “Likewise with Hispanic voters, free health care was a big plus. But in addition with regards to Hispanic voters, the amnesty for children of illegals, the so-called Dream Act kids, was a huge plus for that voting group.”
Oh yeah… that shit.
And don’t expect it to die anytime soon. Now that the right has literally thrown every trick its got at the American people and still has come up short, expect them to step up the call that anyone who isn’t a rich, white, male doesn’t count, shouldn’t vote, and should never be considered as something that exists by one’s government.
The Smiler and his fellow bottom-feeders in the jungles may lay it out a little more blunter than the usual talking heads will shortly, but the content won’t change.
Women, minorities, and young people being allowed to vote, having concerns that are not the perpetuation of a rich, white, male power structure at their expense, will more and more be viewed with the same suspicion and hostility that, well… we have been trained to view most Republican proposals with.
Now that the demographics look to officially be getting away from them, expect things to get a lot more openly fascist, a lot faster.
But hey, things will also get a lot less fraught as the wingnuts slowly begin to fade into the same obscurity that The Smiler now descends into.
He added that he was hoping to find a way for the close-knit group, which excelled in fund-raising but was ultimately unable to propel him into the Oval Office, “to stay connected so that we can stay informed and have influence on the direction of the party, and perhaps the selection of a future nominee, which, by the way, will not be me.” (He suggested an annual meeting, as well as a monthly newsletter.)
Ha ha ha, yeah, no, you deluded bastard, it definitely won’t be you. That was never ever an option.
Those smoky room fat cats that gave you an unlimited credit card are going to lose your number so fast, you’ll be selling boner pills next to Bob Dole before you can even finish saying goodbye.
But thanks for playing!
Ahhh… so refreshing.
The wingnuts will still be here for a long time yet and may yet have more tricks up their sleeves for disrupting our democracy. But perhaps, at long last, we are recovering our sanity as a nation and on the path to at long last repicking up the social and economic work we so casually left abandoned back in 1979.
Hey, I can dream, can’t I?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Being an incurable optimist is invented by Louis Armstrong, but exploited by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™