Oct
27

No Double Entendre Please, We’re Republicans!




Posted at 23:07 by Tintin

ben_toilet

Shorter America’s Worst Self-Employed Lawyer™, DeadFart.com;

Obama Campaign to Girls: Have Sex with Vote for O

  • Letting women talk about sex = misogyny. Outlawing abortion = true feminism.

Amidst the wingnut fauxtrage over Lena Dunham’s Obama ad (“OMFG, it has a double entendre comparing voting to sex. And, worse, double entendre is French!! And gay!!!”), Ben Shapiro’s little sissy fit really stands out. This is not surprising at all coming from a guy who holds his weewee with tweezers while peeing to avoid violating his religious convictions forbidding onanism. “Astoundingly tasteless!” Ben says. Not that this moment of high prudery is going to keep Ben from floating his own attempt at a double entendre about John Kerry’s limp dick

She actually saved herself for Barack Obama (she’s 26) – she could have swiped her V(oting)-card with John Kerry, but he was too limp a candidate, apparently. A real flip-flopper

Poor Ben. He can’t even come up with a decent double entendre worthy of being tasteless, much less astoundingly so.

But, of course, in the every-day-is-opposite day universe that extreme right wingers inhabit, a commercial with a woman making a double entendre is exploiting that woman.

So she chose to do it for the first time with Barack Obama, since he “cares about and understands women.” In fact, he understands them so well that he exploits them for insane commercials comparing losing your virginity with voting.

Obviously, women would be much less exploited having wingnuts shove ultrasound sticks up their vaginas than by being exposed, nay, raped by, gasp, doubles entendres.

Oh, and Obama, like most over-sexed Mandingos, thinks your daughters are sluts:

Obama has young daughters. But that didn’t stop him from releasing this commercial. Because this is what Obama thinks of your daughters.

Yes, instead of understanding your daughters for what they really are — breeding vessels for rapists — he thinks that they are voters who might giggle at a vaguely naughty double entendre and then, even worse, vote.

223 Comments »

  1. Bill S said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:18

    Don’t you mean Maternity options?
    Little Benjamin is so prudish he he won’t even LOOK at his own dick in the shower, because that’d make him a gay homosexual.

  2. helen_s said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:19

    For fuck’s fucking sake. ‘Too limp a candidate’? That’s not a fucking double entendre, that’s not even a proper single entendre, that’s just – it’s just shit. It is just fucking shit.

  3. Chris said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:23

    They are really, really, really, really upset with this video.

    Like, damn.

  4. Bob said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:38

    That’s rich considering it’s coming from:

    ?Teabaggers?

  5. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:45

    They’s comin’ for the white wimmens!
    ~

  6. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:52

    As I said on the other thread, this is a wingnut making a “John Kerry is a flip-flopper” joke in 2012 – the same year they’re running Mitt Romney. It shouldn’t by this point, but their lack of self-awareness continues to shock me.

  7. nipsen said,

    October 27, 2012 at 23:54

    ..did I just read Shapiro likening voting for Obama with going for the womanizer everyone wants to be with? And that the prudent choice would be to go for the, or any, less popular candidate?

    Or did my brain just shut down from the irony, and I’ve actually vaguely lost my mind again?

  8. tigris said,

    October 28, 2012 at 0:11

    The Reagan quote’s been linked before, but I haven’t seen anyone link this yet. So, is Ben a lying hypocritical asshole or a lying ignorant asshole?

  9. tigris said,

    October 28, 2012 at 0:18

    Because this is what Obama thinks of your daughters.

    LAWSA MERCY!

  10. CRA said,

    October 28, 2012 at 0:19

    So much cognitive dissonance on the Right. How is it possible?… Many of them don’t seem to understand figures of speech; they can’t compare or contrast; they lack empathy and imagination. For these reasons they can’t or won’t recognize conflicting ideas. Wingnuts are rewarded for not recognizing them, and the smarter ones become very good at it.

    Last week Paul Ryan demonstrated: “To compare modern American battleships and Navy with bayonets, I just don’t understand that comparison,” the GOP vice presidential nominee said on “This Morning” on CBS. (Obama did not compare them, of course.)

    Was Ryan lying? I honestly dunno. I did notice that at Townhall.com, yesterday’s political cartoon of the day was as willfully daft as Ryan. “Mr. President … it’s not about the bayonets. It’s about what’s behind those bayonets.”

    Now that’s propaganda! Obama, not Romney, becomes the guy who’s strangely wrapped up in particulars, without a sense of the big picture, or of the soldiers as people.

  11. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 28, 2012 at 0:33

    I thin beer and online poker are called for, as I did not win MegaMillions, dogdammit.
    .

  12. John Revolta said,

    October 28, 2012 at 1:04

    Ah, but I WON!! WHEEEEEE!
    (Scroll down to the tribble)
    It may not be Megafreakin’ Millions, but this’ll get me SERIOUS geek cred.

  13. Major Kong said,

    October 28, 2012 at 1:47

    As I said on the other thread, this is a wingnut making a “John Kerry is a flip-flopper” joke in 2012

    My irony detector just threw a connecting rod. It’s leaking crankcase oil all over the place.

  14. DrDick said,

    October 28, 2012 at 1:47

    Because only straight, white, conservative men actually know what women really want and need. Just lay back and think of England, ladies.

  15. Another Kiwi said,

    October 28, 2012 at 1:55

    What was Ben’s previous comment on voting for Obama, full of wisdom, intellectual rigor and not 14 year schoolboy bullshit? Oh yeah this is it …Voting for Obama is like the last time you had a really satisfying bowel movement sourcey

  16. Smut Clyde said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:00

    An ‘Indian-Hot’ lamb vindaloo washed down with two pints of Aventinus weizenbock, and you too can vote for Obama!

  17. Austin Loomis said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:01

    CRA is operating on a false assumption. Cognitive dissonance cannot exist where cognition is not happening, and the Pig People (as the ever-brilliant driftglass calls them) have had so much shit poured into their ears by the Noise Machine that it just flows out of their mouths without their brains ever engaging. In the words of a great American author, they are nothing but tape recordings. Hence the lack of self-awareness whereon Spearhafoc remarks; when you have neither a self nor the capacity for awareness… you do the math.

  18. tigris said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:04

    Yes, AK, but comparing the president to poop is astoundingly tasteful.

  19. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:10

    when you have neither a self nor the capacity for awareness… you do the math.

    I thought this course was Group I???
    ~

  20. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:12

    I thought this course was Group I???

    One from Column A, two from Column B, and soft drink, like everybody else.
    .

  21. vs only buttchugs classy wines like Riunite Peach said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:24

    I SERIOUSLY do not get the fuss over this video. As I noted in my latest blog entry [pimp] yes, please click [/pimp] it is completely innocuous.

  22. Another Kiwi said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:30

    One from Column A, two from Column B, and soft drink, like everybody else.
    Oh FFS. How did it go One from each of A and B and two from the softdrinks? Why two? Isn’t it two from A? I thought it was two from A OR B? Where’s the instruction book? Fucking Windows 8!!
    I blame Obama for this

  23. EnfantTerrible said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:35

    I seem to recall that the wingnuts expected American women to rally behind Romney/Ryan because Ryan is HAWT! What happened to that line of thinking?

  24. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:38

    John Revolta said

    Nice work, furry!
    ~

  25. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:43

    I seem to recall that the wingnuts expected American women to rally behind Romney/Ryan because Ryan is HAWT! What happened to that line of thinking?

    We saw Tigris’ comment about his looking like a little old lady, and couldn’t get it out of our heads.

  26. Pryme said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:43

    With her last name being “Dunham” I’m sure they’ll be some new right-wing conspiracies brewing.

  27. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:44

    Omg, ssssh, Pryme. Don’t give them any ideas.

  28. Pryme said,

    October 28, 2012 at 2:48

    Because only straight, white, conservative men actually know what women really want and need. Just lay back and think of England, ladies.

    Well, now that you mention it

  29. Another Kiwi said,

    October 28, 2012 at 3:08

    Also, too, well done John Revolta! Geek cred, dude!

  30. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 28, 2012 at 3:15

    Anyone have a can of cherry pie filling?
    .

  31. Smut Clyde said,

    October 28, 2012 at 3:20

    Since the tribble is a part of the Forrest J. Ackerman collection at the American Heritage Center

    Someone needs to remind the AHC that Forry spelled his name with just a ‘J’, without the period. Not that I am geekly inclined or anything.

    From teh Whackyweedia:

    John Landis recalled that “Although [Ackerman] was extremely ill he told me he could not die until he voted for Obama for President and he did.”

  32. M. Bouffant said,

    October 28, 2012 at 4:30

    Freitfart.com. More Hollow weenie-ish.

  33. kg said,

    October 28, 2012 at 5:11

    Has anyone yet posted the Ronnie Raygun voting/losing virginity quote yet? kg cannot be bothered with such trivialities, dogwalking awaits.

  34. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 28, 2012 at 5:55

    More Hollow weenie-ish.

    No, this is Halloweenie.

  35. Gary Ruppert said,

    October 28, 2012 at 6:34

    The fact is, why do liberals always equate sex and rape with freedom? I equate having guns and freedom with freedom.

    Also, Austrian Economics.

  36. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2012 at 6:43

    This is a hideously creepy horror-movie setup.

  37. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    October 28, 2012 at 8:36

    I am 17 going on 18. Older and wiser is a given.

  38. gc_wall said,

    October 28, 2012 at 12:18

    The most sought after and highly paid talent in the world is arrogant plausible mendacity with the public. We are experiencing government through public relations. Insincere sincerity also pays well, or in Sarah Palin speak its “pays well… also.”

  39. the prince of death said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:04

    Hey, how come this didn’t happen with Sarah Silverman’s “scissor” AD?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B5o6-qNk6Q

    Or did it? I’m sometimes behind on my right wing outrage du jour.

  40. paleotectonics said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:16

    So, is Ben a lying hypocritical asshole or a lying ignorant asshole?

    So many choices. Hmmmm.

  41. paleotectonics said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:19

    or in Sarah Palin speak its “pays well… also.”

    Too.

  42. kg said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:20

    “I know what it’s like to pull the Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself, and I can tell you it only hurts for a minute and then it feels just great.”

    St. Ronnie

  43. paleotectonics said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:21

    OT, but I am 20 yards from fish, and such, and it’s STILL F’IN DARK.

    argh.

  44. Cole said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:27

    So much cognitive dissonance on the Right. How is it possible?

    It’s traditional (and fun!) to mock these bizarre idjits, but I’m sure I’m not alone in worrying that this increasingly widespread phenomenon of crazy has become a serious threat to human survival.

    American popular culture has always had that pungent thread of paranoia and ignorance running through it all, like the shit-filled vein in a jumbo shrimp, but it seems to have overtaken rational thought. There is a critically large chunk of our population that feels so terrorized, insecure, and threatened that they literally can’t think straight, which explains their apparent “cognitive dissonance.”

    They are panicked herd animals, and they cannot see that it is the sadistic ranch owners getting their kicks from poking ‘em with electric prods and scaring ‘em with wolf stories that is the basis of their fears. Being conditioned to run to their handlers when they get scared, they know no other avenue of security.

    This took generations of conditioning to achieve, and I’m concerned that it may be too late to start the wheels turning the other way. So, I’ll continue to mock impotently (a nod to the thread topic), but it feels more like whistling through the graveyard these days.

  45. kg said,

    October 28, 2012 at 14:29

    Because only straight, white, conservative men actually know what women really want and need. Just lay back and think of England, ladies.

    Or Texas

  46. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2012 at 17:29

    Paranoia is not just playing boisterous klutzes but also spotting disease-carriers.
    Eternity merely postpones the fizz.
    The most demented way to a woman’s butthole is through her brilliance.
    No waitress can make you feel drunk without your infatuation.
    It’s amazing how easy it is to create chowderheads.
    Affirmative action poster boys are signs of God’s color.
    It’s not the seaman that makes the cliche: it’s the cliche that makes the seaman.
    A dream is the cancerous Jesse Jackson of utopians.
    It’s not who we confuse that shows us up, it’s who we don’t confuse.

  47. N__B said,

    October 28, 2012 at 17:33

    And, we’re officially evacuated. Hopefully, Mrs__B can keep me from killing my mother, and I can keep Mrs__B from killing my mother.

    Sandy? How about Hurricane Britney? Chip? Dottie?

  48. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2012 at 17:35

    Hopefully, Mrs__B can keep me from killing my mother, and I can keep Mrs__B from killing my mother.

    She insured?

  49. N__B said,

    October 28, 2012 at 17:43

    She insured?

    I don’t know, but my father has never killed her.

  50. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:08

    I don’t know, but my father has never killed her.

    Not even once?
    .

  51. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:12

    The most demented way to a woman’s butthole is through her brilliance.

    Don’t believe it, guys. Men tell me I’m smart all the time and I rarely let them have anal sex with me for it.

  52. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:13

    Should I fearing for Mother _B’s health? Her odds don’t sound so good.

  53. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:29

    I don’t know, let’s check Intrade, vs.
    ~

  54. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:33

    Gah. Don’t mention it. My stomach won’t un-knot.

  55. tigris said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:48

    The most demented way to a woman’s butthole is through her brilliance.

    Don’t believe it, guys. Men tell me I’m smart all the time and I rarely let them have anal sex with me for it.

    Note it didn’t say “successful…”

  56. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 18:53

    It’s hard for rme to catch all the intraccies or Janus Node silliness!

  57. vacuumslayer said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:03

    I’m not sure what “intraccies” are, but I’m sure they’re interesting.

  58. Gary Ruppert said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:10

    the fact is, youy liberals can’t stop talking about bum sex, which means you are sick preverted and want to be gay, even women. its an exit not an entry.

  59. Major Kong said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:21

    its an exit not an entry

    I wish someone had told that to the Air Force flight surgeons every time I had my annual physical.

  60. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:25

    I thought it was bum fights.
    .

  61. N__B said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:38

    Is it gauche to buttchug at a bum fight?

  62. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:39

    its an exit not an entry

    Agreed.

  63. N__B said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:43

    BTW…

    Oh, a storm is threat’ning
    My very life today
    If I don’t get some shelter
    Oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away

  64. Pupienus said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:48

    And they get so upset when when we call them Uncle Toms.

    http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/10/25/gay-romney-supporter-and-friend-barred-from-romney-event/

  65. Major Kong said,

    October 28, 2012 at 19:54

    And they get so upset when when we call them Uncle Toms.

    I prefer “Chickens for Colonel Sanders”

  66. LittlePig said,

    October 28, 2012 at 20:00

    At this rate, one of these days I’m actually going to understand all the words in that song.

    Merry Clayton gives me goosebumps every time, especially when her voice breaks. Wow.

  67. John Revolta said,

    October 28, 2012 at 20:25

    Merry Clayton gives me goosebumps every time, especially when her voice breaks. Wow.

    Seconded.

  68. N__B said,

    October 28, 2012 at 20:28

    I (obviously) love Gimme Shelter, but the all-time best voice break is still Joplin’s on Turtle Blues. Devastating.

  69. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2012 at 20:31

    I think this voice breaks somewhere down at the bottom.

  70. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 28, 2012 at 20:37

    Is it gauche to buttchug at a bum fight?

    As if you needed another reason to say “No, thanks” to a passed bottle at a bum fight.
    .

  71. Generic Gary Ruppert said,

    October 28, 2012 at 20:42

    The fact is, asinine assertion with comical misspelling.

  72. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 28, 2012 at 21:06

    The commercial in question is actually kind of cute and innocent, and operates on the assumptions that women have their own agency, that having control of your own decision-making in life is normal, and sex is a sweet, life-affirming experience if you do it with someone you actually like.

    The Reagan quote that has been pulled out of the memory hole is a creepy joke with rapey overtones about how losing your virginity should be an unpleasant experience that you put up with.

    Well, it’s clear which one is shocking and immoral and which one is an example of wholesome American humor.

  73. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 28, 2012 at 21:08

    This election year, even more than usual, has been quite a cavalcade of right-wing sexual pathology.

  74. CRA said,

    October 28, 2012 at 21:20

    I noticed that most of the commenters at Breitbart and even RedState restrain themselves from making comments about Lena Dunham’s appearance. Via alicublog on the other hand, I see that the Ace of Spades commentariat is all class. Lots of “she’s ugly” and “she’s a dyke” variants, plus lots and lots of violence against women:

    15 If I was Bill Clinton I’d hit it with a baseball bat and tell her to put some ice on it. But I’m not Bill Clinton and I don’t believe in striking a woman, so I wouldn’t hit that, in any way shape or form.

    36 Her “first time with a guy” was probably with her father. That would explain the tattoos and her preference for pussy.

    41 I wouldn’t hit that. Unless you refused to pay me for not swinging this Ping carbon fiber driver straight into her poon.

    I’m guessing Ace of Spades draws even less women to his person and blog than Romney draws African-Americans to vote for him.

  75. vs only buttchugs classy wines like Riunite Peach said,

    October 28, 2012 at 21:41

    Keep it classy, wingnuts.

  76. Chris said,

    October 28, 2012 at 21:49

    It’s traditional (and fun!) to mock these bizarre idjits, but I’m sure I’m not alone in worrying that this increasingly widespread phenomenon of crazy has become a serious threat to human survival.

    Conservatism’s arguably brought the nation to the brink of destruction at least three times in a hundred years, once through open revolution (the Civil War), once through disastrous economic management (the Great Depression) and once through war hysteria nearly leading us into nuclear war (the Cuban missile crisis).

    (I say “arguably” because the latter thing was definitely bipartisan, though I’d argue a drift to the right is still something you can squarely blame on “conservatism” – and I know they’ve got all these theories all worked out for how the first two were really all the liberals’ fault).

    So, yeah, national survival for sure, don’t know about human survival, but let’s never underestimate human stupidity’s potential for ruining people’s day. You can make a convincing argument that conservatism’s a much bigger national security threat to the nation than any foreign enemy since the days of the Revolution. Not the sort of threat that can be addressed through security state measures, though.

  77. CRA said,

    October 28, 2012 at 21:59

    In order to retain the moral high ground, AoS commenter 15 projects his violent fantasies onto Bill Clinton.

    36 has Dunham’s father do his dirty work, leaving him free to note that tattoos are for slutty dykes.

    41 makes a confusing offer, but it’s clear he’ll do the harm himself. He wants you to know that he’s an affluent gentleman with a fine set of golf clubs.

  78. tigris said,

    October 28, 2012 at 22:41

    Sure, they wanted everyone to know they loathe Lena Dunham and Bill Clinton, but I bet they didn’t mean the self-loathing to be quite so obvious.

  79. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 28, 2012 at 22:51

    You think they’re bad now. Wait till they find out about Lesley Gore.

  80. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 29, 2012 at 0:40

    Stupid innertubez… BE MORE FUNNAY!
    .

  81. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 29, 2012 at 0:51

    Okay, I’ll tell you a true story.

    I was in a gun shop this week. Yes, I really was.

    For whatever reason, the owner of said gun shop asked me if I had already voted. “Yes, I have,” I replied.

    “Did you vote the right way?” he asked.

    “But of course!” was my response. And that was the end of the conversation.

    I suspect he did not vote for the guy who is “responsible” for four record years of gun sales in this country.
    .

  82. vs only buttchugs classy wines like Riunite Peach said,

    October 29, 2012 at 0:53

    The right fucking way, huh?

  83. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 29, 2012 at 0:58

    The right fucking way, huh?

    Had circumstances allowed, I would have asked him if he preferred certainty or uncertainty in his business affairs.
    .

  84. M. Bouffant said,

    October 29, 2012 at 1:25

    In those long ago ’80s I went to a gun shop w/ a friend who wanted to unloadsell a gun. The guy took us into his office to haggle or whatever, I was thumbing through a couple of Vietnam yearbooks (Honest, like high school yearbooks, except commemorating his unit’s time there.) that were lying about. The buyer saw me looking & made some comment about “Hanoi Jane” Fonda. Apparently we didn’t make a quick or vicious enough response to mention of her name, & his offering price went down immediately. Business was taken elsewhere.

  85. Major Kong said,

    October 29, 2012 at 1:56

    I was in a gun shop this week. Yes, I really was.

    Did you buy anything cool?

  86. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 29, 2012 at 2:02

    Did you get a dumbass Rob Liefeld gun?

  87. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 29, 2012 at 2:13

    Did you buy anything cool?

    I can barely afford food at this stage.
    .

  88. M. Bouffant said,

    October 29, 2012 at 3:32

    How ’bout a dumb-ass Gomer Pyle gun?

  89. M. Bouffant said,

    October 29, 2012 at 3:33

    I can barely afford food at this stage.

    See, employment isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

  90. N__B said,

    October 29, 2012 at 4:11

    You can’t make a bad economy without breaking a few employments.

  91. Major Kong said,

    October 29, 2012 at 4:15

    We had to destroy the economy in order to save it.

  92. M. Bouffant said,

    October 29, 2012 at 9:36

    Kong destroyed the thread in order to save it. Hell, I may go to sleep now.

  93. Suezboo said,

    October 29, 2012 at 12:30

    Major, Big News ! I had strawberries and cream last night. Deeevine !

  94. Suezboo said,

    October 29, 2012 at 12:32

    Oh, they cost R14 (berries) and R15 (cream).= R29 = $less than 4.
    I also intend to get watermelon this year. Yes !

  95. Major Kong said,

    October 29, 2012 at 14:52

    Major, Big News ! I had strawberries and cream last night. Deeevine !

    Yay!

    I had to think for a minute – I guess it’s spring where you live. Makes sense that strawberries would be in season.

  96. Cerberus said,

    October 29, 2012 at 16:32

    Back to the post, it’s been amazing seeing the wingnut response to the video. Sure, screaming slut and freaking out about women even knowing what sex is sure to endear them even more with women voters. But I think the part that gets me is how blatantly they are screaming “oh no Mabel, those young white sluts are fawning over that damn uppity nigger, someone needs to put a stop to it.”

    They really can’t handle the fact that they don’t just live in a time where they could string up the black guy and rape and force marry the “dirty” white girls who would dare treat him like a person or someone to make sexual jokes about. Combine this with how obviously they are revealing the “pro-life” crap as a slutty halloween costume barely covering their bulging mass of pure hatred of sex and especially women having sex, and we’ve hopefully finally have enough electoral poison to break people of their “bu-bu-but the pastor said” triggers.

  97. g said,

    October 29, 2012 at 16:33

    In fact, he understands them so well that he exploits them for insane commercials comparing losing your virginity with voting.

    Yes, too bad Obama picked up poor runaway Lena Dunham down at the Port Authority bus terminal, broke her in and beat her ass before sending her out on the stroll to make this commercial….

    Wait, what? Oh, the hell you say, she’s an entertainment industry writer director with three million dollar book deal who deliberately chose to write and appear in the ad herself?

  98. Whale Chowder said,

    October 29, 2012 at 17:38

    we’ve hopefully finally have enough electoral poison to break people of their “bu-bu-but the pastor said” triggers.

    You’re so cute when you’re idealistic.

    The fog of cognitive dissonance is much too thick for this little incident to cut through.

  99. vs only buttchugs classy wines like Riunite Peach said,

    October 29, 2012 at 17:40

    The Internet is quiet today. Too quiet.

    Damn you, sandy.

  100. tigris said,

    October 29, 2012 at 17:56

    Yesterday in preparation for the big blow we put away all the outdoor furniture, the neighbors raked up the leaves in their yard… 8-o

  101. And I'm the Queen of Sheba! said,

    October 29, 2012 at 17:59

    we’ve hopefully finally have enough electoral poison to break people of their “bu-bu-but the pastor said” triggers.

    Oh, come on, what pastor would abuse his position by actually telling his parishioners how to vote?

    And what church would dare to meddle in politics?

    I’m sure churches fully understand that any such overtly partisan political activity would be a total abuse of their tax-exampt status.

  102. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 29, 2012 at 18:05

    Needs a link.

  103. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 29, 2012 at 18:19

    I’m sure churches fully understand that any such overtly partisan political activity would be a total abuse of their tax-exampt status.

    I am positive that the reason these abuses are not being prosecuted is to head off a supreme court case like Citizens United which, with the current makeup of the court would, legalize explicit campaigning from the pulpit.

  104. N__B said,

    October 29, 2012 at 20:05

    I’m not sure explicit campaigning from the pulpit would be so bad. First, it already happens, with a wink, so it’s not like the politics will be worse. Second, nothing will damage the power of he evangelicals so much as directl getting theirs hands dirty.

  105. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 29, 2012 at 20:34

    Geek help required: I want a version of Java for the hated IE, but I want a newer version for Firefox. Is there a relatively pain-free way to get this done or am I gonna wind up virtualizing something? BECAUSE I’LL DO IT.

  106. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 29, 2012 at 20:37

    Don’t forget to secure your greeeyull.

  107. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 29, 2012 at 20:37

    (The above was in response to tigris’ “Yesterday in preparation for the big blow we put away all the outdoor furniture, the neighbors raked up the leaves in their yard… 8-o”)

  108. tigris said,

    October 29, 2012 at 20:54

    I’ve got one of those ceramic grills that weighs about a million pounds. The gazebo would probably blow away first, but if it does I’m totally taking a pic and putting up a Paypal link. Also blaming Obama.

  109. CRA said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:02

    I’ve been to a few Unitarian Universalist services back in Cali. They were heavily about environmentalism, social justice, etc. There’s no chance I’d become active in that “church,” but I guess I’d give money toward political action, if they did it effectively … Of course lefties don’t attend any kind of church in great numbers, but campaigning literally “from the pulpit” is not the whole issue. I think the Right would like churches to campaign and lobby, full-scope. I guess churches would be like these “501c4 social welfare organizations” that are now constantly telling us to “tell candidate X message Y” (by not voting for him or her). But the left could do that just as well, since church attendance and espousal of doctrines don’t have much to do with politicking by nominally religious nonprofits.

  110. tsam said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:09

    A fine comment from the swamp:

    But now my relatives are ashamed of me, my own father can’t look me in the eye. When I enter a room the conversation stops, I here whispers of “She…voted…for…….Obama!” All around town the cool guys are laughing and calling me a filthy Obama voter and telling me theres nothing quite as skanky as a white girl who votes Obama. I always heard once you go Obama, you’ll never go back, but I didn’t realize that’s because once I voted for Obama no other candidate would ever have me. I’m damaged goods, maybe I should just end it all.

  111. tsam said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:11

    That was set up to be a continuation of what the lady in the AD said…

    Remember, they are NOT racist at all. NOT racist, ok? They just like to call a spade a spade.

  112. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:15

    Well, direct politicing from the pulpit would finally put an end to the “in the world, but not of it” line. And I agree that when the evangelicals and mega-churches throw off the last vestiges of restraint, they will lose some of their audience. But there will be localities in this country, where that kind of theocracy/democracy slash fiction will be warmly greeted. Those places will get their blue laws back with interest, they will generally speaking piss all over the church and state separation that we have enjoyed for 200+ years, and they will cry bitter tears and loudly bemoan their persecution if any of their institutionalized religion is threatened by civil suits or other means.

  113. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:15

    No waitress can make you feel drunk without your infatuation.

    As an expert in this field of study, this is blatantly false. But I will concede that if you’re infatuated with the waitress you’ll probably get moar drunkerer.

  114. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:17

    Never mind about the java thing…

  115. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:18

    Last week Paul Ryan demonstrated: “To compare modern American battleships and Navy with bayonets, I just don’t understand that comparison,” the GOP vice presidential nominee said on “This Morning” on CBS. (Obama did not compare them, of course.)

    To heighten the ridiculousness of Ryan’s statement, there are no modern American battleships.

  116. N__B said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:22

    Ryan misspoke. He meant modern dreadnaughts.

  117. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:24

    Substance McGravitas said,

    October 29, 2012 at 20:34 (kill)

    Geek help required: I want a version of Java for the hated IE, but I want a newer version for Firefox. Is there a relatively pain-free way to get this done or am I gonna wind up virtualizing something? BECAUSE I’LL DO IT.

    You can have multiple versions of the Java VMs installed (in fact it used to be hard not to). You should be able to choose which browsers each plugin is installed for by running that Java version’s control panel (javacpl.exe I think) that’s buried under the particule “Program Files” folder it’s installed in and clicking the proper setting in there. YMMV, etc.

  118. Smut Clyde said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:24

    if you’re infatuated with the waitress you’ll probably get moar drunkerer.

    Moar research is needed.

  119. kg said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:24

    Never mind about the java thing…

    whew!

  120. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:24

    Never mind about the java thing…

    Fine, I see how you are.

  121. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:29

    Moar research is needed.

    Yes, it is very important to thoroughly test any theory. For science!

  122. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:31

    So what exactly was it that all you New York liberals did this time to invite the wrath of gawd? I bet it was the buttsex.

  123. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:31

    The furry continent.

  124. M. Bouffant said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:42

    Never mind about the java thing…

    Whew. Off the hook, then.

  125. M. Bouffant said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:45

    AHEM: Damnit, where is the delete button so I don’t look as clever as kg?

    Anyway, unthreatened by gawd’s wrath Westerners awake & contributing.

  126. Pupienus said,

    October 29, 2012 at 21:59

    Might be in your neck of the woods shortly, OBS.

    Truffle Dog Training Seminar: Saturday, November 10, 2012, 9am to 5pm at
    the Forestry Clubhouse in Peavy Arboretum just north of Corvallis. NATS
    and Jeannine May ( http://www.goodlifedogtraining.com
    )will present a truffle dog
    training seminar at the Forestry Clubhouse at Peavy Arboretum. The
    seminar will be a combination of lecture, fundamentals of scent
    training, and practical field work.

  127. Smut Clyde said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:10

    Truffle dogs? Try grating one onto pasta JUST ONCE and you never hear the end of it.

  128. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:13

    Nice emperor, that’s a beautiful spot in the university research forest a few miles north of town. Thankfully the Beavers will be playing football out of town that day too.

    If you actually make it into town itself, we have nothing of interest down here with regard to food compared to Portland. You should definitely go to “Les Caves” (http://www.biercaves.com/) for beer though.

  129. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:24

    First it was Big Bird. Then it was binders. Then it was bayonets. Now it’s about birth control.

    what is it about ‘b’ words that gets ben so cranked up? alliteration is cool! except when he uses it…

    and…whoa…the comments over there? so many mangoes, so little time…i especially love how the dudes with big titted women as their avatars either dog dunham’s (and yes, they’ve made the connection…we have lift-off!) looks or they are flat out saying she’s a sex fiend = icky evil whore worse than hitler…

    and to think, sometimes these people pass among us and we think they’re normal…

  130. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:25

    Truffle dogs? Try grating one onto pasta JUST ONCE and you never hear the end of it.

    and here i thought the problem was with the gooey brown center…

  131. Another Kiwi said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:28

    Jesus how do you train beavers to play the footsball? About alls they do is swim around and eat trees.
    Truffa not.

  132. tensor said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:29

    Ryan misspoke. He meant modern dreadnaughts.

    Heck, he probably thinks we have battlestars.

  133. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:40

    Jesus how do you train beavers to play the footsball?

    Training? You obviously didn’t watch Saturday’s game, where a pack of savage dogs thoroughly pounded the beavers until they were raw and sore.

    Yes, we may have the worst most awestometastic mascot name evar!

  134. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:45

    Anyway, unthreatened by gawd’s wrath Westerners awake & contributing.

    I am also (plausibly) awake, unthreatened by anybody’s wrath, and not really contributing much beyond silly memes.

    And over here a bit further up north on the left coast it’s surprisingly beautiful and warm and not raining. I am feeling stupid for listening to the weatherjerk and taking the bus this morning instead of riding my bike.

  135. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:47

    Truffle dogs?

    I bet Gravitas McSubstance has a good recipe for those.

  136. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:47

    okay, this might be my hands-down favorite exchange ever:

    Aloha Kid 5 comments collapsed Collapse Expand jesusthesocialist says “perversion is having sex in a position other than missionary with the lights off.”

    Hahaha, projection is a bitch isn’t it.

    It’s a known fact, conservatives are twice as… shall we say; satisfied and satisfying, therefore happy in life. We’re also healthier and better looking.
    Look it up o’ bitter one.

    A Like Reply 3 days ago in reply to jesuswasasocialist 8 Likes F .
    stopthebleedinghearts 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand So true. At a recent marketing seminar we were sharing stories about how liberals are the absolute WORST customers you could ever get (they b*tch constantly about price, want special ‘deals’ and even after you kiss their asses they still demand refunds and pretend to be victims.)

    The 27 year multimillionaire business veteran went on to say you could easily spot liberals because of their appearance — wrinkled clothes, no pride in appearance, dirty, lazy, slothful, out of shape, etc. while conservatives are so much better looking and put together. I have spotted that for years now and he was absolutely right.

    A Like Reply 3 days ago in reply to Aloha Kid 7 Likes F .
    Vicki Babbert 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand When I worked in a retail store, I had a lady bring something back one time for a full refund. It was a small aquarium kit and she had had it and used it for about 3 months, brought it back filthy dirty (hadn’t even tried to clean it up) and missing the air pump and when I told her that I couldn’t take it back and give her her money back because it had obviously been used, the first words out of her mouth was that I was only refusing to give her back her money because I was racist!!

    A Like Reply 3 days ago in reply to stopthebleedinghearts 3 Likes F .
    stopthebleedinghearts 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand It’s shocking, isn’t it? I would bet my next paycheck she was a liberal. I have dealt with them in business for 13 years and they are all exactly alike — wanting something for nothing and if you dare question them, out comes the race card, hissy fits and temper tantrums.

    My friend managed a Gap store and had a customers (in an Obama shirt, no kidding) come in with a pair of Apple Bottom jeans, demanding a refund. Gap only makes GAP brand clothes, no other brand. My friend nicely tried to tell her this. Then this lady started making a scene, THREW the jeans at my friend and started screaming she was racist for not giving her a refund.

    The mind of a liberal is a sick place to be.

    A Like 3 days ago in reply to Vicki Babbert 5 Likes F .
    Vicki Babbert 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand Kudos Aloha!!!

    They said: And God knows that women don’t want to have sex – er, vote – with a small candidate. In fact, they might prefer a candidate who provides, say, jobs. Or an economy that’s not a disaster area. Or perhaps consulates full of live ambassadors. I say: Conservative women would much rather have sex–er vote–with a multi-millionaire business man than a has-been lying community organizer any day of the week!! LOL!!!

    is it wrong for me to hope that these cretins are in the direct path of hurricane sandy? not that i wish wanton destruction on anyone, but they need to be taken down a peg or two…also, i would enjoy seeing them pick themselves up by their bootstraps…

  137. Pupienus said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:48

    I *love* Google’s doodle today. For those of you in furrin lands, It’s the great Bob Ross painting some happy sky.

  138. bughunter said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:50

    So what exactly was it that all you New York liberals did this time to invite the wrath of gawd? I bet it was the buttsex.

    Winner, winner! Front line winner!

  139. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:51

    I *love* Google’s doodle today. For those of you in furrin lands, It’s the great Bob Ross painting some happy sky.

    right? i was wishing it was casual friday today so i could wear my bob ross t-shirt…

  140. Whale Chowder said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:52

    a pack of savage dogs thoroughly pounded the beavers until they were raw and sore.

    …were you watching the same game I was? Because in the game I watched, the dawgs were not the winnars.

  141. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:52

    A Like Reply 3 days ago in reply to jesuswasasocialist 8 Likes F . stopthebleedinghearts 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand

    This part of that exchange made more sense than the “exchange” itself.

  142. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:54

    From bughunter’s link:

    His reasoning for this is that it has been 21 years since the ‘perfect storm’ of October 1991.

    ’21 years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection,’ he said.

    Well, with logic like that, how could he be wrong?

  143. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:58

    …were you watching the same game I was? Because in the game I watched, the dawgs were not the winnars.

    This is the game I was referring to. And if by “watching” you mean “looked up the score afterward since I don’t care much” then yes, yes I “watched” it.

  144. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:59

    Evidently I’m going to be posting in multiples of three all day which makes me ALL HOLY AND PERFECT.

  145. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 22:59

    Oh noes! I blame satanic New York buttsex.

  146. Pupienus said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:02

    Oh noes! I blame credit satanic New York buttsex.

    Makes more sense to me that way.

  147. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:12

    awesome dog/sex analogy:

    Brought to you by the party who believes you shouldn’t give anymore thought to whom you have sex with than a dog does to jumping into a swimming pool.

    guess where i found that? i did not know dogs jumping into swimming pools was a thing…also, too…my dog WILL NOT jump into a swimming pool, thank you very much…

  148. Smut Clyde said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:16

    “perversion is having sex in a position other than missionary with the lights off.”
    Courtesy of Feuilleton, a present for bbkf.
    Personally I think it’s a fake. Would the real LDS use Zapf Palatino?

  149. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:16

    okay…this is my last one…i promise…

    pkaboo 6 comments collapsed Collapse Expand The ovomit campaign sure knows how to target its base:
    Make a “suggestive” ad with someone who …
    - looks androgynous (LGBT)
    - appears underage (pedo’s)
    - is fat (abusers of food stamps / haters of exercise)
    - articulates as a “special” pre-teen (low self-esteemers / illiterates)
    - sports creepy tats (battling-mediocrity attention-seekers)
    - is fugly (fuglies)

  150. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:18

    is fugly (fuglies)

    I’m so glad they clarified that with the parenthetical.

  151. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:21

    Personally I think it’s a fake. Would the real LDS use Zapf Palatino?

    indeed…i would think someone like joe smith would use ‘jokerman’ or something…elder searcy’s expressions are priceless…

  152. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:24

    I’m so glad they clarified that with the parenthetical.

    would it surprise you to know that pkaboo’s gravatar is a ktten?

    also, too…some dude named patrick in norwalk, ct is on the radio talking right now…his home is 12 feet from the sound and dude decided not to evacuate…is now regretting that decision…dumbass…also, patrick better not be any our our east coast sadlies, or there will be an ass-kicking when all is said and done…

  153. CRA said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:28

    Personally I think it’s a fake. Would the real LDS use Zapf Palatino?

    I don’t know which one is Zapf, but either way it looks like he’s getting used pretty thoroughly.

  154. bbkf said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:31

    ’21 years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection,’ he said.

    now, i’m no mathemrithmatician or theologian, but doesn’t 21 also break down to 20 + 1? or 18 + 3? or 14 + 7? or…i daresay…6+6+6+3?

    what do all those other numbers mean?! conspiring minds want to know?!?

  155. Whale Chowder said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:46

    This is the game I was referring to.

    Well crap. I sat there and watched the whole game, then apparently promptly forgot the outcome.

    I blame the Seahawks who did in fact provide disappointment yesterday.

  156. CRA said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:48

    Numerology is a wondrous thing.

    The operations can be used with complete freedom — nobody every asks “why divide here, but add there?”

  157. bughunter said,

    October 29, 2012 at 23:57

    Returning to last thread’s topic: Krugman’s column on the NatReview attacks on Nate Silver.

    The comments are especially refreshing… not a jungle, e.g.:

    The horror of this attack is that it specifically includes a strong homophobic undertone (the picture for example). I have absolutely no idea whether Nate Silver is gay or anything else, but the National Review clearly wants us to believe he is not a macho man and almost surely that anyone who practices honest science is not a macho man.

    This sort of thing happens in a crypto-gay tyrant clique milieu when plans to run the world meet resistance. It’s nothing new.

    –Enobarbus37 (Tours, France)

    Many of the others could have come from these pages.

  158. bbkf said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:06

    Returning to last thread’s topic: Krugman’s column on the NatReview attacks on Nate Silver.

    many, many of the things wingnuts do and/or say baffle me…but this one baffles me most…i mean, nate silver is a dude who had/has a site where he predicts baseball outcomes, right? and as a kinda cool sideline thing, he also has statted out the last two elections, right? it’s just a…hobby? maybe a job, but i mean…it’s just a dude and his numbers, right? it’s not like we are all being forced to accept his predictions, right? i mean, not yet, but they are by no means official, right? it’s just kind of a fun thing? and that is awful…how*?

    *other than jewish, ghey-sh sounding, pro-obama…

  159. bbkf said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:06

    nobody every asks “why divide here, but add there?”

    wow, you did not know me in math class!

  160. bbkf said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:13

    so…i’m googling halloween costumes for a group of three people…must be fast, cheap and easy since of course, nobody thought of dressing up until today…and we live in the sticks…anyhoo, i found this line on a site:

    As, this is the day that will make you abide with, your people around you, and even it makes you look astonishing in the big crowd of Halloween.

    awesome, eh…

  161. Another Kiwi said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:19

    Worst article so far about Silver IMO. It is just a bunch of junk. (Cross-commented from MPS).

  162. Another Kiwi said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:20

    I prefer the small Halloween crowd, myself.

  163. Major Kong said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:30

    so…i’m googling halloween costumes for a group of three people

    For a woman’s costume just pick any occupation and add the word “sexy” to the front of it.

  164. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:32

    so…i’m googling halloween costumes for a group of three people…must be fast, cheap and easy since of course

    The holy trinity would be pretty easy. You could even spice it up by with zombie jesus.

    If it’s two ladies and a guy (actually, if you felt like cross-dressing, and you know you do, any gender group would work for this one), go to the thrift store and get crappy ’70s/’80s clothes and be “Three’s Company”.

    Pick your three favorite cliches — e.g. “When life gives you lemons”, “A bird in the hand” etc. and make costumes out of them (The “life/lemons” is as easy as a t-shirt with “Life” scribbled on it and a bag of lemons. “Bird in hand” is as easy as three plastic birds, one in your hand, two stuck to your crotch)

  165. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:34

    anyhoo, i found this line on a site

    Probably has to do with things like this.

  166. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:35

    Also: grandma, Red Riding Hood, wolf.

  167. N__B said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:38

    Matryoshka dolls. It’s what I wanted the __Bs to wear this year.

  168. N__B said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:38

    Major –

    Sexy proctologist?

  169. Whale Chowder said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:46

    Sexy proctologist?

    Dude, that could be a Village People costume.

    I was thinking more along the lines of Sexy Night Soil Worker.

  170. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:52

    Dude, that could be a Village People costume.

    Wouldn’t want to be the Indian on a cold night. Foot bells don’t keep you warm.

  171. N__B said,

    October 30, 2012 at 0:59

    Ah, the soil of the night. What beautiful music it makes.

  172. CRA said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:11

    “wow, you did not know me in math class!”

    Hehe. I meant that people dazzled by numerology don’t bother to ask such questions. Consider the mighty 8:

    Already we have seen how 4 is the square of 2; while 8 IS THE CUBE OF 2 — or its 3rd POWER. None of the digits — aside from 8 — is the cube of any number! Therefore is its “POWER” the greatest since it is the absolute *FULNESS OF THE 3-DIMENSIONAL PLANE OF BEING* [...] Manifestly, *IT [8] MAKES CONTACT WITH THE 4th DIMENSION*

  173. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:11

    OMG Wall Street has been flooded in hallucinations!

  174. Smut Clyde said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:13

    What beautiful music it makes.
    Assuming that you like percussion.

  175. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:28

    Methinks the rev. must be engaged in some butt-banging himself:

    McTernan had planned to host a prayer meeting tonight (29 October), which would be streamed online on his website.

    However as the storm is scheduled to go right over his house, the preacher has warned the sermons may be stopped if the power goes out.

    I mean, how could he not be the responsible party if the storm goes right over his closet?

  176. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:32

    Sodomites to the left of me, Gomorrans to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

  177. Whale Chowder said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:34

    Assuming that you like percussion.

    Or trombone.

  178. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:39

    For a woman’s costume just pick any occupation and add the word “sexy” to the front of it.

    Sexy Abe Lincoln is the one that always cracks me up.

  179. Smut Clyde said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:51

    Sexy morgue attendant.
    Perhaps I say too much.

  180. Another Kiwi said,

    October 30, 2012 at 1:58

    Sexay Giblets trimmer

  181. Whale Chowder said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:05

    Sexy Turkey Farmer?

  182. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:08

    Sexy lumberjack, obviously. Unisex!

  183. bbkf said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:16

    The holy trinity would be pretty easy. You could even spice it up by with zombie jesus.

    this is a dumb work ‘fun day’ thing…one of the co-workers is a minister’s wife…she could probably lay her hands on some of the stuff we would need…

  184. VCarlson said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:37

    …she could probably lay her hands on some of the stuff we would need…

    And heal it?

  185. VCarlson said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:43

    I caught the end of a tape of Christie waxing wroth over people not getting out of the way. Somehow, I suspect that what was really ticking him off wasn’t that people were in danger, but that they had dared to disobey his orders.

    Mind you, I have little patience for people who deliberately go into or refuse to get out of dangerous areas just for shits ‘n giggles, so much of what I heard him say was valid.

  186. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:46

    pounded the beavers until they were raw and sore

    What were we talking about again?

  187. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:47

    big titted women

    I seem to be easily distracted tonight.

  188. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 2:53

    Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Alaska, Delaware, Montana and North Dakota will come in, and they’ll be declared for Romney. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. South Dakota, Vermont, Washington DC, Wyoming and Hawaii will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects – Idaho, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Nebraska – will fall into the usual categories: all Romney. As the night drags on, New Mexico, West Virginia, Arkansas, Iowa, Kansas, Mississippi, Nevada, Utah and Connecticut will go Romney, along with Oklahoma, Oregon, Kentucky, Louisiana, Alabama, Colorado, South Carolina, Maryland and Minnesota and then, (much to your horror) Missouri, Wisconsin, Arizona, Indiana, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Washington, Virginia and New Jersey will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a Romney presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on, but the will of a majority of Americans – a full 31,581,327 of them – will have spoken. All the other states can go Obama, it doesn’t matter.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

  189. VCarlson said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:01

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

    You work for Diebold?

  190. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:02

    You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

    Bra-fuckin’-vo.
    .

  191. bbkf said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:03

    i think we should go with ‘rock, paper, scissors’…the necessities are at hand, and i will even go the extra mile and pick up a rock in the parking lot…

  192. bbkf said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:03

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

    yu have janus mode troofie?

  193. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:04

    I caught the end of a tape of Christie waxing wroth over people not getting out of the way. Somehow, I suspect that what was really ticking him off wasn’t that people were in danger, but that they had dared to disobey his orders.

    Christie came under fire when the huge Christmas Eve blizzard hit Joisey and he, knowing that a major storm was coming, decided to jet down to Florida for a vay-kay. He doesn’t want a repeat of that lambasting, so he’s getting emotional.

  194. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:12

    yu have janus mode troofie?

    I did actual MATH for that one!

  195. Smut Clyde said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:13

    i think we should go with ‘rock, paper, scissors’…the necessities are at hand

    Not “Animal, vegetable and mineral”?

  196. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:21

    Not “Animal, vegetable and mineral”?

    I think you mean “vegetable, animal and mineral”. What you said doesn’t rhyme with “Modern Major-General”.

  197. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:53

    Here in Bastardstan, Sandy is largely a wind event, not a lot of rain. I was out and about on the jobsite (about every three hours, I walk around to make sure all hell isn’t breaking loose), just in time to see what appeared to be a very localized fireworks display. I think a transformer blew (Optimus Prime needed the money). Still got power here at work, though.

  198. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 3:58

    Here in Bastardstan, Sandy is largely a wind event, not a lot of rain.

    No rain in Gnashvegas, but 40mph gusts, believe it or not. And steady winds of 15-25mph, all day.
    .

  199. Another Kiwi said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:02

    Optimus is a slut and votes Obama. True story

  200. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:02

    K-Lo provides a big gaping void.

  201. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:03

    K-Lo provides a big gaping void.

    I’ll wait for the check to clear and the brain bleach tanker to arrive before clicking THAT link.
    .

  202. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:06

    Also, bling-bling, my biotches.
    .

  203. tensor said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:08

    Ryan misspoke. He meant modern dreadnaughts.

    Heck, he may well have meant battlestars.

  204. Pupienus said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:10

    Not in MY penis you haven’t.

  205. Major Kong said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:10

    Here in Cowlumbus we’re going to have rain/snow and 35 mph winds. I need to get to Memphis tomorrow and I suspect I’ll be driving. Getting a jumpseat out of here tomorrow is looking pretty iffy.

  206. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:12

    Not in MY penis you haven’t.

    Inna-gadda-da-penis, baby.
    .

  207. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:15

    Here in Cowlumbus we’re going to have rain/snow and 35 mph winds. I need to get to Memphis tomorrow and I suspect I’ll be driving.

    That will suck.

    The wind is whistling past my drafty-ass windows, now… in Nashville. We had 40mph gusts today, and supposed to have more blustery, tomorrow.
    .

  208. bughunter said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:34

    K-Lo provides a big gaping void.

    So, she’s leasing out blimp hangar space… between her ears?

  209. 'natch said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:39

    re : Walking Dead. Whyz dood got all them heads in aquariums?

  210. bughunter said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:40

    Here in Pasadena CA, it was a nice 85 degrees, sunny and a little drier than the past few weeks, but typical for early fall.

    However, last year about this time, Santa Ana conditions pummeled my fair city with hurricane force winds, and much of the city was without power for three days. Trees were knocked down everywhere, and many roofs and cars damaged by wind and debris.

    IOW, I understand how much it sucks after it blows. I’m glad my sister left NYC to stay with my parents in NC for the storm.

  211. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:51

    Here in Pasadena CA

    I once bought a used car that previously was owned by a little old lady from there.
    .

  212. bughunter said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:53

    Did she drag race in it?

  213. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 30, 2012 at 4:55

    Did she drag race in it?

    Probably. The rings were shot.
    .

  214. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 5:13

    Harry Shearer’s Le Show is thus far an interview about currency rather than meaner-than-Mort-Sahl readings through the news interspersed with unlistenable songs. It’s worth hearing.

  215. tensor said,

    October 30, 2012 at 6:09

    Here in Pasadena CA, … my fair city …

    That word does not mean what you think it means.

    … my fair city

    That word does not mean what you think it means.

  216. not a gator said,

    October 30, 2012 at 6:35

    Crying like the WATB I am because tvtropes doesn’t allow edits without a login and I don’t do logins.

    I can’t believe on a page about genderflips they missed THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN where the flat :-| affect, epileptic scientist was a woman in the original book. It was an usual role for an actress at that time or now so I looked it up and yeah, there it was.

  217. Consumer Unit 5012 said,

    October 30, 2012 at 7:25

    Just lay back and think of England, ladies.

    Lynndie England?

  218. M. Bouffant said,

    October 30, 2012 at 7:52

    Sodomites to the left of me, Gomorrans to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

    Ah, Lucky Pierre!

  219. Pupienus said,

    October 30, 2012 at 7:55

    Hmmm, maybe Teh Fags do have something to do with Sandy,

    http://imgur.com/sIKYy.jpg

  220. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 30, 2012 at 7:56

    Would you prefer as a nickname “Controversy” or “The Absurd Anton Von Leevenhoek”?

    Would you rather have dinner with a glassblower or a priestess?

    Why might you want to study questions?

    If you had to spend three hundred thousand dollars on big science, what would you buy?

    Which would make a better movie: a thriller about a red-eyed tree frog who has to make 28 grammes of margerine tied to 13 cubic miles of milk to save her prince, or a science fiction film about flying foxes creating copper?

    How could you use sex to improve your love-life?

    How would you make art out of a pyramid that looks like a bar and pewter?

    Would you rather name your pet candiru Quourroo or Baboon?

  221. Cerberus said,

    October 30, 2012 at 8:02

    I do not like them on a boat.
    I do not like them with Mickey Kaus’s goat.
    I do not like these wingnuts, Sam I am.

    New post.

  222. Smut Clyde said,

    October 30, 2012 at 9:49

    Whyz dood got all them heads in aquariums?

    Umm, I was unaware that one needed an excuse.

  223. kg said,

    October 30, 2012 at 12:43

    Lynndie England?

    Robert

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