Oct
12

Mr. Starbursts




Posted at 9:00 by Cerberus

This is a real picture. Designed specifically to highlight his “sex appeal”… Wingnuts and media whores have strange strange fetishes.

J.T. Hatter, American Libido:
Is Paul Ryan Hawt?

So yeah, apparently there was a Salmonella outbreak recently. A bunch of peanut butter from about 50 “different” companies all operating out of this one factory in Georgia turned out to be tainted and there was a recall set in motion to correct the “whoopsie” otherwise known as “the FDA has been reduced to one guy named Phil”.

Luckily I was able to find this out and lend the FDA a much needed hand by becoming deliriously sick for a week until my body remembered how to properly function again. So patriotic duty fulfilled, I’m ready to jump back into the fray. Well, not so much jump per se seeing as how I managed to twist my ankle to the point it resembles a grapefruit punched repeatedly by Chris Brown.

But hey, I’m doped up on painkillers and ready for anything. C’mon wingnuts, give me your best shot!

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • We don’t need to worry about the War on Women fucking us over because women are a pack of horny dogs that think with their dicks, I mean ovaries. And Paul Ryan turns me, I mean them, on more.

Shit, I’m still in a salmonella coma and this is all a waking dream. I was wondering why I wasn’t wearing any pants. Now to pinch myself and…

Oh dear Bob in Himmel, this is actually happening isn’t it?

Ok, let me get my pants back on, put the splooge guard over my face and prepare the disinfectant bath for what will surely be a cogent and intellectual missive.

Paul’s Hot! Joe’s Not.

Truly, an astounding wit!

I have to admit that I’m not “with it” anymore.

No. Stop laughing.

We haven’t yet begun to appreciate how utterly “without saying” this statement is.

I can’t dubstep. That would probably kill me.

Dubstep?

We can only hope.

I’m a rock ‘n’ roller. That’s my music and my era.

Well, then by American Thinker standards you’re practically a young whipper-snapper with the hippity hops. What with most of the rest of the writers there still railing against rock as the devil’s song tempting the harlots and jezebels into the sins of dancing.

Obviously, with your youthful spirit and possible single remaining silver hair, you can answer for us the mystery of the female libido.

And that’s my excuse for completely missing out on the “Paul Ryan is hot” mania that is sweeping the country. It started as soon as Romney announced Paul Ryan as his running mate this summer. Women know all about it. They started it. They’re keeping it going. So there must be something to it.

Yes, women started the meme about Paul Ryan being hot. All the way back in Summer of this year, even! Cause you know, the preceding, what, 2, 3, 4 years of non-stop media fellation on how Ryan just looks like he has strong arms was apparently just the buzzing bullet to keep everyone warmed up for Full Scale Public Orgasm.

Snrk.

Yeah, who the hell does the right-wing media whores think they are fooling with this shtick? (Besides themselves?) Not only has Paul Ryan been reduced to a fucking punchline over the media trying desperately to sell this “he’s conservative but younger and more conventionally attractive and addicted to fad workouts and lying about his performance*” narrative like it was the One True Religion, but given his public statements on women and women’s health, his very name has become a powerful sterilizing agent for women.

Try it ladies. Say his name and you can actually feel your fallopian tubes trying to tie themselves into a hangman’s noose in a vain bid to escape.

Did you know there’s a dance called the Paul Ryan? Yep. Here’s the music vid. It’s a hot rocking dance tune with a catchy beat, a sizzling female lead singer, sexy dancing girls, and a radically cool band pounding out the music.

Oh you know we need to check this out!

ROLL CLIP!

You’re welcome for all the humor you need for the next week.

So, yes, our spritely young septuagenarian has, to argue his case that Ryan fever is melting the delicate lady brains among our impressionable youth, decided to cite a… video made by the National 912 PAC as a desperate response to this Paul Ryan parody video.

And if that PAC name seems oddly familiar, that’s because that would be the name of Glenn Beck’s SuperPAC. And you thought nothing Glenn Beck touched could ever warm your hearts.

Oh but we haven’t yet BEGUN to plumb the depths of desperate reaching yet.

You can go to the website and cast your vote for who’s hot and who’s not. Paul’s Hot! Joe’s Not. Cast your vote here.

Yes, that’s right, it’s a link to a literal “hot or not” site that seems to have been voted on exclusively by wingnuts given the “meter”, as it were, of the sparse comments on the results page. A results page with only 310 responses at the time of writing this.

There’s a way this could be more pathetic but it’s not coming immediately to mind. Maybe if you…

OK, I admit it. I voted. Guess whom for.

Yep, that’s the ticket. And, to let it not be said I pass up the easy joke: “Of course you did*, honey.”

The video says it is “Brought to you by people who are not politicians.” That’s why it resonates. Those are the people who will save the USA — not politicians.

That statement isn’t on the “music” “video”. Nor on the… all so critical “Hot or Not” poll. Nope, that’s straight from the SuperPAC’s Facebook page. You’d think if you were going to be that obvious about where the purse strings come from, you’d bother to put up a paid link or something.

Seriously, I haven’t seen a worse attempt at faking a “totally organic” video that has “gone viral entirely by chance” in my life. This is like a viral video B-movie where you can see the boom mike falling into frame and the script the actors are reading on the ground.

The “Do the Paul Ryan” music video had me bouncing in my chair

And how!

, so I decided to look more closely at the lyrics to discover if there were any profound political messages Ryan’s female supporters may have embedded in the song for us. Here’s the first verse:

This is really happening, isn’t it? Oh wow, it’s a Snarkmistress Christmas miracle!

“Do the Paul Ryan”

I wasn’t interested in politics much
But the changes keep a comin’
And I was out of touch
But I’m hopin’ for a change
And feelin’ kinda steamy
Never had a Veep who’s been so dreaaammyyy.
Uh oh, oh oh Paul Ryan
(chorus) He’s hot!
Oooo Baby you ain’t a lyin’
(chorus) Rockin’ hot!
Inside I think I’m dyin’
Uh oh, oh oh Paul Ryyyaaaannn!

Truly the greatest masterpiece Wingnutistan has ever paid a hack to churn out!

That tells the story about where the women are coming from.

Oh that it does. It tells the entire story from the moment they cashed the check to the moment Glenn Beck breathed out the lyrics while hunched over and panting in his studio.

I had to play the video about ten times to get the lyrics. I had to crank it up pretty loud, too, to pick out the words amid the rock-and-roll beat, racing car engines, and singing girls jumping up and down.

And that’s how you know that you’re dealing with a quality piece of work rather than some ordinary run-of-the-mill train-wreck. It’s the mark of real artisan failure, yanno?

That brought my teenage daughter into my office.

I totally believe that this is a real person and you are still young enough to have a teenage daughter.

“My ears are bleeding! What are you playing?”

I like imaginary teen daughter already!

“New music video on YouTube. Do you think Paul Ryan is hot?”

She looks at the computer.

It distracted her from my inappropriate hard-on.

“Isn’t he the Olympic swimming guy?”

“He’s our vice presidential candidate.”

Cause young people are all ignorant of politics in exactly the way that makes us look super smart for knowing such “insider info” as who is the Designated Hottie for the Republican ticket this year.

“Really? Well…not my type.” She looks closer. “He is kinda cute. Yeah, Dad. He’s really hawt!”

There you have it. She’s not old enough to vote, but I know where her estrogen is headed.

Man, I am so glad that this daughter is purely fictional because otherwise this would be Jerry Sandusky levels of creepy.

JFK Hair

This amazes me. But I’m glad about it. Romney’s got good hair. He’s handsome for sure. Now I’m being told that Ryan, who I always thought looked like a CPA, is hawt (which I’m given to understand is much better than hot). I always admired him for his good sense, compassion for others, and brilliance in understanding our budget problems and formulating workable plans to solve them. Ryan’s selection as VP impressed me more than anything else Romney has done.

But this whole “Ryan is hot” thing is news to me, and a little strange, too. You think I’m making it up? This is even harder to believe — the entire liberal agitprop news media wholeheartedly agrees: Ryan is hawt.

So yeah, Paul Ryan is the new Sarah Palin is the new John McCain is the new George W. Bush for our sexually repressed nutters.

No wonder they clinged to Palin so long, it was the first time in over a decade where they could pretend to be entirely straight in their parade of thinly veiled man-crushes.

Politico said, “Forget the budget: Paul Ryan is hot!”

Salon said, “The entire Internet is losing its collective mind over a shirtless pic of vice presidential candidate, and fitness freak, Paul Ryan.”

TMZ said, “Paul Ryan – He’s hiding a 6 pack!!!” and “Rep. Paul Ryan may be the hottest Vice Presidential candidate ever … but we’re not talking policy.”

House sources tell TMZ that Ryan works out at the House gym every morning at 6:00 AM, and his routine is “fierce.” We’re told he’s kinda on the skinny side but “totally ripped and has a six pack.”

TMZ was first to reveal the Paul Ryan shirtless photo that was an internet craze.

ABC news said:

Both Twitter and Tumblr lit up with photos of the Republican budget maker, overlaid with quirky economy-related tag lines, as the “Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan” meme was born.

The Atlantic Wire ran a column entitled, “Is Paul Ryan Ushering in ‘The Year of the Manslut’?”

Policymic says, “‘Come hither’ looks seem to come naturally to him.”

Shorter Mad Hatter:

See, it’s not just me with the gay crush on Ryan. Lots of media whores want him and have wanted him for years… God, I’m bad at this!

The Hawt Vote

Females across the nation say, “Wow!”

Hey now, that’s absolutely true. The fact that it’s quickly followed by “What a flaming douchebag!” is completely immaterial.

And that translates into an awful lot of votes.

Oh definitely. Many many votes… for the man who doesn’t think contraception is Satan in Pill form.

Between Obama revealing himself as an empty chair and Biden being…well, Biden, we have a pretty good chance of pulling this election off — despite what the media spinners and pollsters say.

Really? We’re still pretending that Clint Eastwood’s chair stunt was anything than national embarrassment? Well, fool on me to correct them.

We just need to let the public see our soon-to-be President Romney and Vice President Ryan as they are:

Unrepentant sociopaths?

competent, experienced adults.

Oh, that was my second guess.

Perhaps we could show the public a little more.

Great idea.

“By better than 2 to 1, Americans say the more they learn about Romney, the less they like him.”

Ryan flexing his pecs on nationwide television? Worth two whole points. Maybe three. We could take Pennsylvania. Somebody get his shirt off for fifteen minutes in front of the right camera, and we’ve got this election sewn up. This Thursday night, do you know where your wife or girlfriend is going to be? Sitting right in front of the TV watching the Ryan/Biden debate. You’ll see. She’ll be smiling, too.

Yes, I bet she will. I bet she is making sure her door is locked and her totally real daughter is out of the house. What with her being an easy mark for the faintest hint that she hasn’t hitched her ride to a party of sexually repressed Viagra-takers slowly** fading into political history.

But that’s okay, because when he winks at the debate, you’ll feel the starbursts in your old bitter heart and remember how to love again.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I’m back, baby! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*In bed. Hiyo!

**Way too fucking slowly.

263 Comments »

  1. smut clyde said,

    October 12, 2012 at 9:17

    American Thinker? Was food poisoning not enough?

  2. smut clyde said,

    October 12, 2012 at 9:24

    A propos teh zombie-eyed vice-presidential candidate, the Clyde background is in dairy rather than wool but I still know a sheep-killing dog when I see one.

  3. John Revolta said,

    October 12, 2012 at 9:31

    Thirst!!

  4. deering said,

    October 12, 2012 at 10:47

    “Isn’t he the Olympic swimming guy?”

    “He’s our vice presidential candidate.”

    I’d stake all my money that there is no teen on earth who would ever mistake Paul Ryan for Ryan Lochte.

  5. another kiwi said,

    October 12, 2012 at 10:57

    What with imaginary liberal friends and imaginary family members you would think that the wingers might be able to cobble up something a bit more imaginative than Ratboy getting plenty of exercise. No? Well if it’s all you got…
    Commiserations Cerb, peanut butter Salmonella is a very cruel thing.

  6. Major Kong said,

    October 12, 2012 at 12:00

    I’m sure the Army could have used such a pec-tacular hunk of manhood to fight our enemies overseas. Along with Mitt’s five brats.

  7. deering said,

    October 12, 2012 at 12:08

    After any number of running magazines/devotees handed Ryan his head on his fake times, is the GOP still trying to pass him off as uber-ripped and vital and all?

  8. deering said,

    October 12, 2012 at 12:10

    Re: Mitt’s sons–my aunt wonders why they’ve been kept pretty much out of public view. She saw an interview with the eldest, and it gave her the strong impression that “the boy wasn’t right,” as it were. Shouldn’t they be blanketing the country from sea to shining sea as sterling Galtian surrogates for their dad?

  9. N__B said,

    October 12, 2012 at 12:36

    He’s a hunka hunka burning bag o’ crap.

  10. Suttree said,

    October 12, 2012 at 13:16

    This must be a joke. I cannot believe this twatwaffle is jacking off to the thought of his underage daughter as a moistened bint to these fucknozzles.

  11. Suttree said,

    October 12, 2012 at 13:31

    Oh dear sweet baby jeebus. I got off of the boat and reading that crap has scarred my eyeballs.

  12. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 12, 2012 at 14:07

    ZEGS!
    ~

  13. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 14:24

    They really do think women are that stupid.

  14. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 14:32

    Paul Ryan is a dog-faced dweeb with Eddie Munster hair who works out alot. If he’s hot, then any man with his figure is hot? Big blue eyes are a dime-a-dozen: how are they framed? His nose is like a caricature of a nose.

    Look at the VP debate side-by-side head shots. You can count about a dozen thick furrows in this oddity’s forehead as Biden hammers him. I mean really, that’s what happens when he’s concerned: everything above the eyes looks like a stack of pancakes with a Munsters wig sitting on top of it.

  15. kg said,

    October 12, 2012 at 14:37

    re: FDA
    You know just a few weeks ago I was discussing with a co-worker the fact that pharmacies can add flavoring to a children’s prescription even though they have no stability data whatsoever. My co-worker (a pharmacist) went on to detail the lack of oversight for compounding pharmacies much to my horror. Then along comes this fungal meningitis thing and kg’s like omg-hfs the free marketz suxx bro!

  16. Pryme said,

    October 12, 2012 at 14:39

    I”m sorry; when I saw “Skrillex” I honestly thought Lena Dunham ghost-wrote this one and I had to leave.

    (Now that I know that this isn’t the case, I can properly enjoy the Sadly, No! goodness)

  17. Gary Ruppert said,

    October 12, 2012 at 15:30

    The fact is I would tottaly go down on Paul Ryan.

  18. Arakasi said,

    October 12, 2012 at 15:31

    They’ve pretty much given up on pretending that they take women seriously, haven’t they. The best I can figure is that their next big commercial will be 30 seconds of Ryan stripping while chanting “Jobs…jobs…jobs…jobs…”

  19. Pupienus said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:04

    Not hawt. Barely even borderline attractive. In any case, who wants to stick their dick in crazy? And that haircut! WTF? What I saw: http://www.motorhelmets.com/htm1/helmets-off-road-table.htm

  20. tigris said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:11

    Females across the nation say, “Wow!”

    And that translates into an awful lot of votes.

    If I were going to let my lady bits choose, Christian Bale would be my candidate. Paul Ryan looks like a toothless little old lady in that picture.

  21. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:16

    They really do think women are that stupid.

    About 45% of them are, unfortunately. The very idea that a guy can actually try to redefine rape and still get a single female to support him is awfully fucking scary.

  22. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:17

    Tom Cruise is pretty good looking. Not exactly presidential material, however.

  23. Pryme said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:20

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    OK; I’m better now.

  24. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:28

    Stacey Dash is 46? Good lord. I have a new stalking victim.

  25. Matt said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:29

    They’re really reaching on this one – have to handwave away the *actual* “OMG ZEGS IS HAWT” constituency, since it’s half closet-nailed-shut GOPers and half “starving poor people gives me a BONERZ” sociopaths…

  26. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:30

    Again with the projection. It’s not the wimminz who want to Ryan’s hog, it’s the boys who are totally NOT gay.

  27. JohnR said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:35

    Sorry to hear that you were laid out by that nasty old salmonella. I can tell how bad it must have been by the way you misspelled “Vivid” as “viral” when you were talking about that B-movie video thingy. Hope you feel better soon. Oh, I think I’ll pass on that lovely music video. Just looking at the still, I could tell that if I tried to watch it, there would be blood and pain as I could not imagine. Tell you what – I’ll go watch old episodes of Buzzcocks instead. Cheers!

  28. Pryme said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:38

    Stacey Dash is 46? Good lord. I have a new stalking victim.

    A co-worker reaction to my theory that she’s a succubus in disguise: “Check her hands; hands always give away the age.”

  29. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:41

    About 45% of them are, unfortunately.

    I disagree. Yes, a large number of women will vote Romney for president (Although I think if it’s as high as 45%, Obama’s screwed), but they have reasons. Yes, to us they are stupid reasons, but they’re real. Pro-life, low taxes, anti-immigration, my pastor told me to vote R, my husband told me to vote R, I’m afraid that terrorists will kill my precious little Colby unless we have a big Republican Daddy…

    But I would imagine that the set of women who are voting Romney because of Ryan’s rock-hard abs would fit in a phone booth. And the set of women who changed from R to D because of how “hawt” he is is smaller still. The notion just kicks me right in the feminism.

  30. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 16:55

    And the set of women who changed from R to D because of how “hawt” he is is smaller still.

    As with Palin, it seems like some pundits are very carefully forgetting the world we live in. There are people who specialize in being attractive, and they’re all over the media. There is no sighted person in America who lacks opportunities to ogle people who make Ryan and Palin look like troglodytes.

    If you find yourself asking, for example, “wouldn’t it be awesome if my lawyer was really hot?” I would suggest that you watch any number of TV shows and movies featuring hot people pretending to be lawyers. Your real-life lawyer should be qualified, something Ryan (and still less Palin) lacks.

  31. N__B said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:02

    There are people who specialize in being attractive

    We do it just for you.

  32. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:05

    Pro-life, low taxes, anti-immigration, my pastor told me to vote R, my husband told me to vote R, I’m afraid that terrorists will kill my precious little Colby unless we have a big Republican Daddy…

    I was making the argument that they are stupid. They’re as stupid as the men who work blue collar jobs and vote republican because of guns and God and all that phony horseshit that Repigs use to distract them from their quest to get the middle class to pay all the taxes for the rich. I do think there’s a small contingent of people who do vote on appearance and personality, meaning they go for the guy/gal they feel like they could sit down and have a beer or martini with. Larger than the capacity of a phone booth, but small.

  33. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:12

    Shorter: Women who vote for Republicans ARE stupid, slightly stupider than the men.

  34. Pupienus said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:19

    As with Palin,

    Charlie Pierce: What’s the difference between Palin and Ryan? Lipstick.

  35. witty1 said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:21

    No. Just….no.
    I refuse to believe that this was written with the actual attempt at being funny.
    You wrote this, cerb, admit it. In any case, I am not diving for mangoes, I just don’t have the strength.

  36. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:28

    hot people pretending to be lawyers

  37. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:29

    Because your tsam is a just god, one for the LADIES

  38. Pupienus said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:38

    A jaunt to Teh Corner is worthwhile this morning. Biden was “boorish” a bully and a horse’s ass. Also, women don’t think Joe “sex symbol” Biden is HAWT. It’s fun to watch them flounder in print just like his hawtness did on air last night.

  39. Pupienus said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:39

    Oh sure, tsam, and what am I, chopped fucking liver?

  40. Iusedtodiggraves said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:46

    Nice crotch shots.

  41. Pupienus said,

    October 12, 2012 at 17:59

    Oh Jeebus fucking Christ I missed it. The zombie-eyed granny-starver told us a story to show his soft, human side. He told a story about his daughter’s name, “Bean.” What’s wrong with that? It was Kurt Cobain’s story, that’s what. A story Ryan was almost certainly aware of, him having been a big fan and all. That’s right, he stole the fucking story. Gawdamn I am hating him more and more every day.

  42. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:00

    Oh good grief. The man is a complete doof. Hunky he is not.

  43. Pupienus said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:03

    http://www.rttnews.com/1949459/vice-presidential-hopeful-paul-ryan-loves-nirvana.aspx

  44. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:03

    If I were going to let my lady bits choose, Christian Bale would be my candidate.

    I knew there was a reason I’ve always liked you.

  45. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:06

    Well, you may love nirvana, dude, but rest assured nirvana hates you. Even the dead guy.

  46. Iusedtodiggraves said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:08

    Oh, I think I’ll pass on that lovely music video. Just looking at the still, I could tell that if I tried to watch it, there would be blood and pain as I could not imagine. Tell you what – I’ll go watch old episodes of Buzzcocks instead. Cheers!

    You are a smarter person than I am. I foolishly listened to it. Now I suffer,

  47. DAS said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:13

    I was commenting to my wife (who was feeling anxious about how this debate would go given Obama’s performance in the last debate) that at least this debate would feature chunk-o-man-meat Paul Ryan. The conversation then proceeded something like this:

    Mrs. DAS: even ignoring his horrendous politics, I can’t stand his widow’s peak

    DAS: but I have a a widow’s peak

    Mrs. DAS: Well, yours is different somehow.

    DAS: I guess it’s the haircut. I part my hair to one side, which covers it up … at one point I just embraced it and had my hair slicked back [*]. But I guess if you have a widow’s peak you should either have a hair-style which minimizes it or a hair-style (like the stereotypical widow with a widows peak) that fully embraces it

    Mrs. DAS: I think you have a point. You can’t just half-way try to show but not fully embrace a widow’s peak.

    * but that style was too much maintenance — you know how much effort it takes to keep slicked back hair down when your hair’s natural tendency is to fly out in every single direction possible, not even limited to those available in 3D space?

  48. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:25

    OK, I watched the video. Which one of you schmucks is gonna pay for my therapy?

  49. gocart mozart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:30

    It’s a photo shop. Here is the original
    http://img2.ranker.com/user_node_img/50001/1000003876/C350/u2.jpg

  50. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:30

    Oh sure, tsam, and what am I, chopped fucking liver?

    tsam is a fallible god, but DON’T TELL ANYONE

    Here’s one I’d consider if I were on your team

  51. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:37

    Hey VS, how ya feeling?

  52. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:38

    I love NPH. Legen

    dary.

  53. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:38

    tsam, better now that I got off the devil drug.

  54. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:43

    What…? The one you just started?

  55. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:47

    Yes, I had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE reaction to it. It amazes me they give this shit to people with ANXIETY issues.

  56. Coach Kathryn Jean Lopez said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:50

    Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, Rockin’ Ryan gets me trickling down from you know where, if ya feel what Da Cool K-Lo is rip-rappin’ at ya!

    K-Lo out.

  57. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 18:52

    What sort of reaction? What happened? Anxiety?

  58. N__B said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:04

    What sort of reaction?

    It was a devil drug. I assume the reaction included horns and a tail.

  59. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:04

    Argh … at work we have an assistant who is paid by a federal “workfare”-type program for older unemployed people.

    She is uneducated, unskilled, can’t drive (even if she had a car), virtually unemployable. She’s destitute: if not for the federal program and food stamps, she’d probably be homeless and hungry.

    But she hates Obama. Today she saw something on Yahoo! about a nice businessman who sent all his employees a memo stating that if Obama was re-elected they’d lose their jobs — he’d be unable to do business on account of taxes. Remember, this is a nice businessman / bad Obama story.

    She knows that Obama will force her to buy health insurance and that’s not fair because she can’t afford to do that. I’ve tried to explain that her premiums would be completely subsidized, but I don’t think she believes me.

    This is a What’s the Matter with Kansas? -type problem. Romney/Ryan want to set her adrift on an ice floe. Even if the economy improved greatly under Romney, she’d be lucky to get a minimum-wage job without no insurance. I was viewing this problem in the abstract, it’d be easier to take; people are often foolish.

  60. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:09

    “job WITH no insurance. IF I was viewing …”

    There.

  61. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:16

    This is a What’s the Matter with Kansas? -type problem. Romney/Ryan want to set her adrift on an ice floe

    She’ll have her pride intact though. Don’t need no guvmint assistance. So that’s something, right?

  62. DAS said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:26

    . I’ve tried to explain that her premiums would be completely subsidized, but I don’t think she believes me. – Golem Heart

    Do you think the premiums will remain completely subsidized? Well, maybe for someone in her position, but I doubt if the subsidies will remain for many of us for long.

    I fear that the Villagers and the GOP will push through some sort of “compromise” to control health care costs and address our massive deficit that will severely curtail subsidies (while keeping the mandate). Of course, the Dems will fall for it and support the compromise for which, in the end, no GOoPer will vote. Thus the GOP can run against Obamacare and its unsubsidized mandate while keeping their hands clean of actually voting against eliminating the subsidy.

    Already note how Romney/Ryan are running hard against the $716Billion dollar medicare “cut” even if what they propose, by simple arithmetic (given the low admin overhead of medicare) will either cost more or result in service cuts? Similarly, note how they are running against the “unelected board of 15 bureaucrats” even if their proposals would empower similar boards working for private industry?

    I’m glad Biden took at least some steps to call Ryan on this, but Obama really should have nipped these talking points in the bud during the first debate. Did Obama not realize that as soon as he bragged about saving $716Billion, the GOP would pounce?

  63. Marcus Bachmann said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:30

    Rrrrroooooooowwwwwwwwww

  64. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:47

    All that excellent snark and not a single mention of the various memes and other highly-skilled photoshoopdedoops of ZEGS? I haz a disappoint.

  65. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:48

    I endorse, nay, recommend the use of a full-body splooge shield whenever the topic of a wingnuts’ panegyric poot is either Palin, Malkin or Ryan.

    You (& your dry-cleaner) will thank me for it.

    Perhaps Ryan’s Jedi aura of pure high-octane studmuffinology is the secret weapon that’s fuelling the Republicans’ gaping shortfall among women voters. Wait, WHAT?

    The spectacle of Ryan’s aw-shucks optical pimping reminds me that we Canucks had our own run-in with an arse-chinned, dulcet-voiced Alpha Himbo yclept Mulroney a ways back – & I’m not sure we ever actually recovered from him. Even imaginary clueless teenyboppers know damn well that something as vital as politics does not involve nor need a swimsuit pageant.

    Republicans: making the average hormone-addled tween look like Noam Chomsky.

    Hee hee – SKRILLEX, eh? For a few months in ’99 I was quite partial to Suzuki Kid (think: a Moog Prodigy having unnatural relations with BOTH The Ramones & Einsturzende Neubauten). Thus the current woo over dubstep always causes mine cakehole to gob up a LOL.

  66. Chris said,

    October 12, 2012 at 19:52

    I idiotically missed the debate. Mostly because I didn’t want to be watching in case it went like last week’s, and partly because a MacGyver comic supposedly started coming out this week and I wanted to get it at Barnes & Noble (which didn’t have it).

    The transcript was fantastic, though.

  67. creature said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:02

    ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’

    ‘Because it was stuck on the end of Paul Ryan’s Dick!’

  68. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:11

    Gary Ruppert said,

    October 12, 2012 at 15:30 (kill)

    The fact is I would tottaly go down on Paul Ryan.

    Wow, real Gary showed up!

  69. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:13

    Mmmm, was someone recently dropping a delicious quickmeme.com link???

  70. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:15

    hot people pretending to be lawyers

    Dude, what law firm is that? Do you have, like, a business card for them?

  71. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:20

    Sadly, it’s just a TV show with a stunningly gorgeous lead character.

  72. Hogeye Grex said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:24

    With apologies to Rene…

  73. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:25

    Here she is making ugly glasses look stupid hot

    She’s so much better looking than Paul Ryan. That’s FOR SHORE

  74. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:42

    Wow, real Gary showed up!

    Naw. Real Gary was deeeeeeeeply closeted. As in, “Bought his home through Narnia Realty.”
    .

  75. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:42

    What sort of reaction? What happened? Anxiety?

    Horrible jitters, feeling amped up and tired at the same time, panicky, having unreal feelings (like I was in a fog)…it just made everything i was feeling before the drug, 12 billion times worse. I’ll take some anxiety and depression over that any day of the week.

  76. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:43

    Oh, and also, muscle twitches while sleeping, horrible waking nightmares, dizziness, trouble sleeping…I could go on. I was really scared.

  77. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:44

    The hot brunette lawyer seems to be a popular theme.

  78. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:45

    Oh, and also, muscle twitches while sleeping, horrible waking nightmares, dizziness, trouble sleeping…I could go on. I was really scared.

    Also, horns and tail…but I ENJOYED those.

  79. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:45

    I’ll take some anxiety and depression over that any day of the week.

    You should let the doc try something else. If you tolerated Zoloft, do you think it might help?
    .

  80. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:48

    Do you think the premiums will remain completely subsidized?–DAS

    I wouldn’t bet on it, and your compromise scenario is entirely plausible, given our parties and the structure of Obamacare, which seems designed for just that sequence of events.

    On the other hand, we know why conservatives try so very, very hard to prevent the government from running social programs that benefit most people. The GOP behaves as if it is sincerely afraid that Obamacare could become a well-liked program and perhaps even a basis for more progressive reforms. People like my hapless associate could be heard to say “keep your hands off my ACA” (she doesn’t like saying his name). That’d be another anvil around the neck of the conservative movement.

    If that happens, or in the first place if Obama is re-elected and the GOP lacks majorities to take action against Obamacare, it’ll be interesting to see how their strategy shifts. But yeah, the big danger seems to be democrats inventing or going along with some scheme to fix the ACA in all the wrong ways. They excel at that kinda thing, and at ignoring popular sentiment favoring progressive measures. It’s infuriating, because good policies can be promoted relatively easily, and honestly.

    Conversely, it costs conservatives greatly to wage propaganda wars on so many fronts. It was said that the Bush/Rove admin were just Mayberry Machiavellis with no policy apparatus; maybe it’s increasingly tough for a GOP outfit to be anything else.

  81. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:53

    You should let the doc try something else. If you tolerated Zoloft, do you think it might help?
    .

    I’ve had bad reactions before and I can’t remember if one was to Zoloft. Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

  82. Pryme said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:55

    Sadly, it’s just a TV show with a stunningly gorgeous lead character.

    Seeing her TV/film history, I now know why I haven’t seen her before. Bet her husband looks like a douche…

    *checks husband’s page*

    …yep; douche.

  83. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:56

    I’ve had bad reactions before and I can’t remember if one was to Zoloft. Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

    Can’t hurt. Amp up your Vitamin D, maybe try some St. John’s Wort, too.

    I don’t have the anxiety issues, but anyway, what I was saying about these drugs being pretty specific to individuals in how the work, don’t work or work the wrong direction(s) renders any comparative speculation moot.
    .

  84. g said,

    October 12, 2012 at 20:57

    “The zombie-eyed granny-starver told us a story to show his soft, human side.”

    I thought it was nice of the zombie-eyed granny-starver to tell a heart-warming story about Mitt giving money to someone who lost their family to a car crash….to Joe Biden.

  85. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:00

    Can’t hurt. Amp up your Vitamin D, maybe try some St. John’s Wort, too.

    I don’t have the anxiety issues, but anyway, what I was saying about these drugs being pretty specific to individuals in how the work, don’t work or work the wrong direction(s) renders any comparative speculation moot.
    .

    I’ve heard it work wonders for the right person…but I was not that person. I will definitely try more vitamin D. Heard mixed reviews ow st. Johns.

  86. DAS said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:02

    Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

    While I too should “try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health”, unfortunately, I tend to be inclined to exercise less, drink more, eat unhealthy and lot’s of toher stuff that’s prolly not good for my mental/physical health.

  87. smut clyde said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:03

    Back to Hatter’s post:

    Ryan flexing his pecs on nationwide television? Worth two whole points. Maybe three.
    We could take Pennsylvania. Somebody get his shirt off for fifteen minutes in front of the right camera, and we’ve got this election sewn up.

    Hatter has a sad that he is not living in the right country to vote for Putin.

  88. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:03

    I’ve heard it work wonders for the right person…

    [raises hand]

    But I know plenty who didn’t tolerate it for any number of reasons, almost always different from anyone else’s reasons, believe it or not.
    .

  89. Anonymous said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:07

    You (& your dry-cleaner) will thank me for it.

    I’m thanking you for it.

    So, who was the actual target demographic for the Lil’ Paulie pics? And, what medications were they taking / selling / making in their basements?

  90. Pryme said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:08

    The gifs that keeps on giving (Warning: may slow computer down).

  91. N__B said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:08

    who was the actual target demographic for the Lil’ Paulie pics?

    Near-sighted pedophiles.

  92. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:21

    Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

    What I have come to understand is that I need to eat healthy and exercise more in order to have any serotonin in the first place, the re-uptake of which the junk can then inhibit.

    One or the other, in isolation, doesn’t seem to do a goddamned thing.

  93. Larry Craig said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:23

    Please allow me to take a stance on Paul Ryan’s musculature.

  94. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:25

    Please allow me to take a stance on Paul Ryan’s musculature.

    Or at least a squat. Maybe some footsie and some hand jive?
    .

  95. tigris said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:33

    Can’t hurt. Amp up your Vitamin D, maybe try some St. John’s Wort, too.

    St John’s Wort helped my mom but did nothing for me, but I’ve had good, if mild, results from DHA.

    The gifs that keeps on giving (Warning: may slow computer down).

    My life was incomplete before dancing Hitler.

  96. N__B said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:33

    I know a cat named Zombie-Eyed Paulie
    Got a love for Ayn Rand makes him go bawlie
    He can smirk and chart and voucher you
    And do that crazy hand jive, too

    Hand jive
    Hand jive
    Doin’ the Ryan hand jive

  97. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:39

    Yes, I had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE reaction to it.

    Give another a shot: nobody really gets why one does X for one person and Y for another. Most of them helped my mood, but some made me touchier or more bad-tempered than others. There’s nothing like a happy asshole to ruin the days of everyone around them.

  98. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:50

    Always with the goatse!

  99. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:53

    Hm…well, my first 2 days were pretty much like that, then it just went away. Thing is, without the meds, I had ZERO motivation to exercise, eat correctly, clean my apartment, pay bills, etc…

    Tough deal. Maybe they can give you something else.

  100. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:54

    The Lindsay Lohan endorsement:

    Lindsay Lohan came out in support of Mitt Romney yesterday.

    While most would, at first glance, write this off as gossip, it’s the latest instance of an evolving trend that jeopardizes President Obama’s chance at winning the White House.

    Lohan, by all accounts, is a typical low-information voter. And low information voters, like it or not, will decide this election.

    The first person to pick out this trend was Dave Weigel at Slate after sportswriter Buzz Bissinger endorsed Romney after his positive debate performance. Bissinger, Weigel notes, was a low information voter. He ignored the election, watched the debate, took everyone’s word for it on the facts, and backed Romney.

  101. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:54

    I noticed that you don’t buttchug…not sure if that’s the cause, but maybe give that a try.

  102. The Happy Buttchugger said,

    October 12, 2012 at 21:57

    WooHoo!

  103. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:07

    I noticed that you don’t buttchug…not sure if that’s the cause, but maybe give that a try.

    I’m not dignified enough to try buttchugging. I leave such activities to the aristocrats.

  104. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:09

    Dear Penthouse,

    I never thought this would happened to me…but when I found out Lindsay Lohan was voting for Romney, my brain LITERALLY fell out of my head, and I spontaneously decided to support Romney too. It was very hot.

  105. Major Kong said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:13

    I’m surprised that Lindsay Lohan has enough brain cells left to actually form an opinion at this point.

  106. Pryme said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:14

    The Happy Buttchugger

    (Food?) Franchise Name.

  107. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:14

    Can’t score the brain-cell-killing drugs without brain cells.

  108. N__B said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:15

    Can’t score the brain-cell-killing drugs without brain-killing cells.

    Fuqqst.

  109. Major Kong said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:20

    The Happy Buttchugger

    (Food?) Franchise Name.

    Home of the Buttburger!

  110. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:24

    I love to go a-buttchugging,
    Along the mountain track,
    And as I go, I love to chug,
    My wine-sack on my back.

    Val-debutt,Val-dechug,
    Val-debutt,
    Val-dechug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug
    Val-debutt,Val-dechug.
    My wine-sack on my back.

  111. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:32

    A while ago, the Obama campaign Tweeted about lowering taxes for the middle class and small business owners. In response, Lohan Tweeted:

    @BarackObama we also need to cut them for those that are listed on Forbes as ‘millionaires’ if they are not, you must consider that as well.

    This is hardly coming out of left field. Although she’s definitely “low-information”, her endorsement is just a matter of her looking out for her own selfish interests.

  112. LittlePig said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:34

    The shots with his legs are the best. Charlie Pierce called him “Congressman Stork” while the redoubtable Doghouse Riley went with ‘Birdlegs’.

  113. LittlePig said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:35

    (Food?) Franchise Name.

    Jack in the What???

  114. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:38

    Jesus fucking Christ I cannot believe that it’s easier to Google an age-calculator and use it than to subtract one date from another in Excel.

  115. vacuumslayer said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:40

    Although she’s definitely “low-information”, her endorsement is just a matter of her looking out for her own selfish interests.

    Yup. Along with all the other rich sociopaths.

  116. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:46

    Lindsay Lohan came out in support of Mitt Romney yesterday.

    When you’ve lost the burned-out, broken-down, junkie jailbird vote…

    Hmmm…I’m not sure that’s really a trend to worry about.

  117. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 12, 2012 at 22:48

    Lindsay Lohan came out in support of Mitt Romney yesterday.

    Wait, isn’t she a felon? Can she even vote?

  118. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:01

    I don’t think Romney is necessarily capable of swaying more low-information voters than Obama, who got plenty of them last time around.

    Assuming for a moment that Romney came across better than usual in the debate, he’s still Romney. He’s not truly charismatic or exciting, and his rhetoric is unfailingly generic and shallow. He clearly thinks that’s a winning formula, but it offers no distraction from his unappealing mannerisms and personality.

    An engrossing speaker of interesting ideas can get away with an odd cadence, a cache of elitism, or eccentricity, or what have you: listeners are borne above all that. Romney is sadly earthbound for one who is unmoored from the facts … Lately he’s been using a slogan stolen from Friday Night Lights: “clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose.” I can imagine it working in a visceral way on TV, but from Romney?

  119. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:05

    Wait, isn’t she a felon? Can she even vote?

    I suppose it should have occurred to me that tough-on-crime laws are a form of election-gaming but I am a little slow that way.

  120. Mongo said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:12

    Wait, isn’t she a felon? Can she even vote?

    No, but the inability to [fill in the blank] has never stopped a Republican from [fill in another blank]. Ever. It’s practically a law of physics.

  121. Snarla said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:13

    What I like is that Paul Ryan is younger than me and looks a decade older. That makes me feel good.
    He’s not so unattractive that I couldn’t fall in love with him if he were a sweetheart. Unfortunately, he’d like for me to die of an ectopic pregnancy, and that’s repugnant.

  122. bughunter said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:22

    Rockin’ Ryan gets [K-Lo] trickling down from you know where

    Oh jeezus CHRIST! I was halfway through a plate of lasagne when I read that… now I’m suddenly done.

    Thanks a fucking LOT for putting the image of Lopez’s grool in my head.

  123. tsam said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:30

    Jesus fucking Christ I cannot believe that it’s easier to Google an age-calculator and use it than to subtract one date from another in Excel.

    I tried to get Excel to add time once for an installation estimating sheet. FAIL.

  124. Golem Heart said,

    October 12, 2012 at 23:44

    The only tricky part about calculating ages is when one or both months are unknown.

    I like to show off my ability to do simple calculations quickly in my head. I think many people just don’t try, and so they don’t learn the obvious tricks, like setting aside the hundreds from the tens for a moment.

  125. ckc (not kc) said,

    October 13, 2012 at 1:29

    …Ernest goes to the gym

  126. bargal20 said,

    October 13, 2012 at 1:29

    I’m glad Screech Powers finally moved on from Bayside High School.

  127. Roger Ailes said,

    October 13, 2012 at 1:32

    That photo is from Paul Ryan’s unsuccessful campaign for Vice President of the Big Brother House.

  128. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 2:07

    Val-debutt,Val-dechug,
    Val-debutt,
    Val-dechug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug
    Val-debutt,Val-dechug.
    My wine-sack on my back.

    VandeHee, VandeHei
    VandeHee…
    .

  129. Nobody pointed this out yet? said,

    October 13, 2012 at 3:02

    I was wondering why I wasn’t wearing any pants.

    So you didn’t have to pull them down when the Brown Tidal Wave next hit?

  130. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 3:29

    My eyes are juicy this evening.
    .

  131. Golem Heart said,

    October 13, 2012 at 3:35

    Here’s another math tip: Windows has a little calculator. Don’t hunt for it– pin it to the taskbar or something. If you’re blind, just tile the whole screen with shortcuts to it.

  132. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 13, 2012 at 5:24

    Nobody pointed this out yet? said,

    We prefer not to sully Cerberus’ valiant call of duty to the Free McMarket via deregulated salmonella acquisition by citing it – we’re all very Full Adam Smith-y* that way here.
    ________________________________-

    * “Once you go Full Adam Smith, you never go back … if you know what’s good for you.”

  133. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 13, 2012 at 5:59

    So, who was the actual target demographic for the Lil’ Paulie pics? And, what medications were they taking / selling / making in their basements?

    Fetal pineal gland extract is one hell of a drug.

  134. Golem Heart said,

    October 13, 2012 at 6:47

    Fetal pineal gland extract is one hell of a drug.

    On the streets, we call it “Bean,” or “Beans.” Helluva drug.

  135. Mongo said,

    October 13, 2012 at 7:27

    Fetal pineal gland extract is one hell of a drug.

    Hey; an ideal investment opportunity! Call the boys at Bain. They’ll love it.

  136. Gerald Fnord said,

    October 13, 2012 at 13:50

    I think I’ve lived too long: I can’t stand reading this retread of Quayle- (and to some extent Palin-) stroking.

    Characteristically, the Republicans believe that all they need is the blood of a relatively young person.

    Tepes/Bathory 2016!

  137. Major Kong said,

    October 13, 2012 at 14:02

    Characteristically, the Republicans believe that all they need is the blood of a relatively young person.

    Sadly they’ve got plenty of that:

    Iraq Body Count

  138. Pere Ubu said,

    October 13, 2012 at 16:24

    Oh, fuck.

    It’s still there.

    The picture, I mean.

  139. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 13, 2012 at 16:32

    Whee! a Saturday at the office doing data entry! I had planned on taking a tandem hang glider ride, but it’s supposed to rain all day. This is just as good though isn’t it?

  140. John D. said,

    October 13, 2012 at 16:42

    Is Paul Ryan hawt?

    Why, with that vulture beak nose, eyes set too close together and thin, lipless mouth, he’s the spitting image of a young Charles Montgomery Burns!

  141. N__B said,

    October 13, 2012 at 16:50

    he’s the spitting image of a young Charles Montgomery Burns!

    And, like Burns, he’s in possession of a trillion-dollar bill and intends to use it for nefarious purposes.

  142. Pere Ubu said,

    October 13, 2012 at 17:46

    Christ. It’s like a publicity pic for some lame-ass summer replacement sitcom from the 80′s that nobody remembers.

  143. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 13, 2012 at 18:20

    Christ. It’s like a publicity pic for some lame-ass summer replacement sitcom from the 80?s that nobody remembers.

    That is obvious revisionism. I’ll have you know his walk-on appearances on ‘Beans Baxter’ nearly got a young Paul Ryan an Emmy nomination.

  144. John Revolta said,

    October 13, 2012 at 19:38

    Oh cheer up y’all. Fifty years from now they’re gonna look back on this picture and say, “Look how staid & decorous they were at the turn of the century. They didn’t even have the Presidential Dance Contest or the VP Swimsuit Competition yet”.

  145. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 19:48

    Oh cheer up y’all. Fifty years from now they’re gonna look back on this picture and say, “Look how staid & decorous they were at the turn of the century. They didn’t even have the Presidential Dance Contest or the VP Swimsuit Competition yet”.

    Poetry slam.

    Sadly, yes.
    .

  146. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 13, 2012 at 20:03

    I’m not sure If I eagerly anticipate or dread the debate format changing from the current moderated debates to tag team lube wrestling.

  147. Pryme said,

    October 13, 2012 at 20:09

    I know Rush is a lying sack of crap, but he’s in rare form here: http://mediamatters.org/blog/2012/10/12/limbaughs-selective-memory-conservatives-didnt/190601.

  148. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 21:25

    I’m having a bit of trouble continually seeing that photo of Geddy Lee up there.
    .

  149. Pupienus said,

    October 13, 2012 at 21:41

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Broke my backup eye glasses last night. My scrip is out of dat so I need an exam. Kaiser, who provides my vision plan, isn’t open on Saturdays. $100 out of pocket for an exam. I’ve been buying my glasses from China – last pair of memory frame, progressive, photochromic, coated lens glasses ran me $78. The place here at the mall wants $310 for their cheapest pair for my scrip. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

  150. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 21:47

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    I think you’ve settled the conundrum of shitting or going blind quite nicely there, Pup.
    .

  151. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 13, 2012 at 22:29

    Does Tokyo survive?

    Universal’s decision to mothball their big-screen version of Monopoly hasn’t daunted Hasbro.

    The game company is reportedly pursuing big-screen versions of not only Monopoly but also Hungry Hungry Hippos.

  152. smut clyde said,

    October 13, 2012 at 22:57

    Whackyweedia reports that there is a remake underway of the 1985 Cluedo movie.

  153. Moon Dragon said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:15

    Isn’t that Screech from Saved by the Bell?

  154. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:19

    October 13, 2012 at 21:25

    I’m having a bit of trouble continually seeing that photo of Geddy Lee up there.
    .

    LOL. We never stop picking on the Canadians here, do we?

  155. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:29

    Which one is Screech?
    .

  156. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:35

    LOL. We never stop picking on the Canadians here, do we?

    They’re such good sports about it.
    .

  157. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:40

    And really… I think I’m onto something.
    .

  158. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:52

    And, in keeping with The Prophesy…
    .

  159. Pere Ubu said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:54

    big-screen version of Monopoly

    With Will Ferrell as The Flatiron.

  160. Pere Ubu said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:56

    And really… I think I’m onto something.

    They’re both Objectivists.

    COINCIDENCE???

  161. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 13, 2012 at 23:57

    They’re both Objectivists.

    I thought that was No-Feel Neil, not the Geddster.
    .

  162. Pere Ubu said,

    October 14, 2012 at 0:04

    I thought that was No-Feel Neil, not the Geddster

    Fah, you know what – you’re right.

    Shows you now much I think about the subject.

  163. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 0:05

    Let’s hop on this to get some of this… but not from Wally*World.
    brbiaf
    .

  164. acrannymint said,

    October 14, 2012 at 0:54

    I think we may be up for Bill and Ted remake. And yes, widow’s peak is creepy. It’s so pointy

  165. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:07

    Well, I’m back, and two beers more enlightened!
    .

  166. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:14

    I bet you can’t wait to hear me hold forth, now.
    .

  167. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:31

    How many bees for a nickel?
    .

  168. vacuumslayer said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:35

    Make it a few more beers and you can spew forth.

  169. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:37

    Make it a few more beers and you can spew forth.

    Oh, honey… I haven’t been able to do that for decades.
    .

  170. vacuumslayer said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:40

    What? Barf? Drink until you barf? Have more than 2 beers? What? We wait with bated breath.

  171. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 1:41

    Drink until you barf?

    This.

    I can do 1-1.5 beers an hour, and no more. I get a pleasant buzz over several hours, and go to bed. :)
    .

  172. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:17

    Yeah, I’ve got no interest in getting blind drunk and christening the toilet either.

  173. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:17

    Not boasting. Just… age has some compensations. :)
    .

  174. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:36

    I may get to put it to the test. The landlord just e’d, and wants to meet up around the corner to see a friend’s band play. Oh, why not?
    .

  175. Golem Heart said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:39

    The landlord just e’d

    Short for “eeped,” I guess? … “ejaculated,” perhaps?

  176. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:51

    E-mailed. Sheesh. :)
    .

  177. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:51

    Landlord doesn’t have a smartphone, and doesn’t do GoogVoice, so SMS is foreign territory for him.
    .

  178. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 14, 2012 at 2:54

    No, no…the lingo they use for ejaculation is “Jo-bro.” Trust me

  179. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 3:05

    vs, that site was a dog’s breakfast.
    .

  180. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 14, 2012 at 3:08

    What? Subby’s blog or Best of Craigslist?

    I rate for both. And I will Jo-bro in a totally not gay way with anyone who disagrees.

  181. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 3:09

    And since I didn’t go to the banks and deposit $400 for the landlord yesterday (payday), I have to suspect he’s not mad about it. :)
    .

  182. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 3:10

    What? Subby’s blog or Best of Craigslist?

    Subby’s. It kept repeating links to a cat statue in Firefox. It was noted that the CSS might be hosed. Yes, I think it was.
    .

  183. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 3:44

    Well, let’s go do meatspace stuff for a while.
    .

  184. M. Bouffant said,

    October 14, 2012 at 4:04

    Could be because VS’s link was to the mobile version of The House of Substance.

  185. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 14, 2012 at 5:03

    There was also a typo. I talk a good game about the HTML editor, but actual results vary.

  186. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 5:57

    Spanky-spanky-spankyoumotherfuckers.
    .

  187. M. Bouffant said,

    October 14, 2012 at 6:10

    tags: jazz metal progressive rock rock instrumental rock math rock progressive metal Portland

    Not necessarily an attractive combination of tags. Individually, mebbe.

  188. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 6:13

    Not necessarily an attractive combination of tags. Individually, mebbe.

    LISSEN, then bitch, okay?
    .

  189. M. Bouffant said,

    October 14, 2012 at 7:06

    Waiting for ball game to be over.

  190. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 14, 2012 at 9:59

    LISSEN, then bitch, okay?

    Izzat you? It’s bouncy and intricate.

  191. Golem Heart said,

    October 14, 2012 at 15:05

    I think I’ll go back to using my initials (CRA) for a screen name, like I do elsewhere.

    This one’s too silly, or my name isn’t Elfcock McSpock, on account of my ears.

    Anyone who wants to find out that I’m an journeyman birdlimer from Portland named Cynthia Rufus Asperger can do so easily enough, so why hide behind a fanciful pseudonym?

  192. LittlePig said,

    October 14, 2012 at 15:43

    so why hide behind a fanciful pseudonym?

    Frederick Ultrecht Kopperman might disagree.

  193. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 14, 2012 at 16:32

    What’s this? You need a name?

    Iniquityqu Propos-Baud the Actuary
    Devin Eustolia the Dangerous Plant
    Lasandra-Deedra Accusative
    Lumping Pig
    Croleila Kellie
    FoprJoyklucl
    Decimateshif Pajama-Suspenses
    Muoi the Controversial Triggerfish
    Minister Advertisement the Real Estate Broker
    Christeen-Erin Ardith the Icefish
    Figurings Renegotiable-Dram the Big Cobbler
    Anjanette Exasperation-Beg the Pleasurable Neraph
    Aggressors October
    Inventory the Colossal Wraith Spider
    Vashti-Eulah Plank-Cryptographer
    Kludjeramy Inefficiencies-Addicting
    Misspelling Voch
    YoubDeetta the Split Coroner
    Piwpayqu Bret
    Spent Governmental-Blusters the Greengrocer
    Kabeze Wechthe Demented Minnow
    Joan-Mai Lemzu
    ShoylYelena the Ditch Digger
    Romances-Chicano
    Bludgeon Mai the Calm Piano Tuner
    Stefanybe Cecropia the Censor
    Xokmux
    Caren-Sid Alton
    Fishshawana Extend the Sandfish
    Major Kiersten-Mike Sandwich the Corrupt Bandfish
    Hoyquah Zecrocl the Cheap Pilot
    Tuh
    Brooked the Quivering Estate Agent
    Nurses the Foreign Drywaller
    Chana-Sharleen Blamers the Flavorist
    Rosalinda Klayknour
    Eusebiatuh Sumner-Bringer the Burning Skeleton
    Dampli Plastics the Village Priest
    Great Grandma Kanesha Dwarf-Pars the Subterranean Dense Pudding
    Gregorio Thequthe Strangely House Wizard
    Wibceeth
    Extenuating Denver the Joyful Sleeper Shark
    Rasmussen Gay the Wrymouth
    Quoxfresheners Opposites-Brutally the Driver
    Nofebicre Renate
    Piperdayt Reba
    Elana Dibble-Welded the Ufologist
    Kejpiccolo Zaybiv
    Copebucre Lexcid the Giant Panda
    Thao Yoozya
    Yakelsi Lavone
    Lynell Dowich
    Goyclee Unnecessarily
    Naprhermine Tamera the Psychologist
    Roseliaweequ Suthe Envious Miniature Rhinocerous
    WoujKonrad Marvelousness-Radiates
    Knockers
    Leonoreshif Tuthbaz
    Bichan Chang the Darter
    Uncertainties the Watery Cow
    Betterments Fayththe Catfolk
    Creisis Albert
    Righteously Excitation-Children the Bodyguard
    Tawnya Milly the Ironmonger
    Xikmatilde Backer-Portsmouth the Religious Police Inspector
    Laraine Monotony-Godhead
    Houvquayro
    Harness Jeehoy
    Queewomo Koochthe Sea Horse
    Gogeheiress Imp the Urban Planner
    Babellaypl Pageant the Queen of the Spiders
    Banishesyise Wookpro
    Dolee Visualized the Optimism Sailmaker
    Nealdayt Womopray the Eccentric Gianttail
    NeeDoun
    Yushwih Twanna
    Cocrdeidre Letitia the Particular Sheatfish
    Ceethquits Satisfactory the Homemade Lion
    Zujohnetta Folly-Journalize
    Keshanour Laine
    Foyhaj Coothe Salesperson
    Carola Tonda
    Dagny-Le Mussolini-Tantrums the Malignant Leatherback Turtle
    Mr. Leilani-Chris Lulu the Financier
    Dodhiedi Xobthe Essential Camarasaurus
    Nayklavenia Roku
    Dar-Supplying the Academic Wood cutter
    Anticoagulationcoud Treva the Donkey Trainer
    State Representative Regimentationkle Divina the Platy
    Yevcukle Scampering-Quichua
    Thichkle Sylvia the Many Marine
    Faythmayj Firm
    Dapthuno Kent
    Broadenings Yixthe Lefteye Flounder
    Preconceptions Antonina the Public Speaker
    Great-Uncle Sheen-Tensely
    Faypeacefulness Shapayqu the Buxom Theologian
    Monarch Jamaal
    Squeezing Shiplwoyr the School-bus Driver
    Shimartha Jill

  194. CRA said,

    October 14, 2012 at 16:39

    Some of those are implausible, and they sure as hell don’t come from an anagram generator. “Dapthuno Kent” sounds like a fellow involved in Nigeria scam emails.

  195. LittlePig said,

    October 14, 2012 at 17:22

    “Dapthuno Kent” sounds like a fellow involved in Nigeria scam emails.

    Yeah, but at night he flies around saving wildebeest, so it evens out.

    And subby me lad, (whispered) the password for today is ‘acronym’

  196. Stefanybe Cecropia the Corrupt Bandfish said,

    October 14, 2012 at 18:02

    So I cheated. I’m corrupt, what can I say?

  197. Major Kong said,

    October 14, 2012 at 18:05

    If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’

  198. Xecklothayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 14, 2012 at 18:17

    Aww! I got my name from just such a list, years ago. Thanks, Sub!

  199. Major Kong said,

    October 14, 2012 at 18:30

    Did “Golem” sound too Jewish?

  200. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 18:46

    Izzat you? It’s bouncy and intricate.

    It’s some young lads from Portland, OR… one or two* are sons of a friend of mine. I was heartened that the young folx were still interested in prog.

    * Both sons participated, but one son says his involvement was so minimal that he doesn’t think he should be credited.
    .

  201. William S. Rubsrough said,

    October 14, 2012 at 18:47

    He’s got ZEGS and he knows how to use them.

  202. CRA said,

    October 14, 2012 at 19:22

    Did “Golem” sound too Jewish?

    I wouldn’t say that. My ancestry is probably 1/16th Jewish. It was meant to convey the sensibilities of a mighty construct, not the ethnicity of its maker.

    In the massively-multiplayer game Asheron’s Call, players could collect the hearts of various golems, and fashion them into keys and stuff. Google seems to find the term elsewhere as well. Pokemon lore? I dunno.

  203. Pupienus said,

    October 14, 2012 at 19:23

    I’ve seen the Garretts, I believe. Don’t recall where – Jimmy Mack’s maybe?

    Went to another optical lab and managed to squeak out for just under $200. That was 50% off frame (which had already been marked down) and also lenses. Now I’m off to shop the web for Chinese glasses.

  204. M. Bouffant said,

    October 14, 2012 at 19:31

    Pup, you might start here.

    Why the four-eyed are fucked.

  205. Stefanybe Cecropia the Corrupt Bandfish said,

    October 14, 2012 at 20:26

    D&D has had golems since 1976, including the Clay version which is the one from Jewish legend.

  206. Pupienus said,

    October 14, 2012 at 20:58

    Why the four-eyed are fucked

    I’m sure I agree with the sentiment but I caint see no pikshure. iPhone but it’s just that page – previous page pic iz fein. Mebbee ‘samovie? Flashy thing, as in.

  207. Major Kong said,

    October 14, 2012 at 20:58

    D&D has had golems since 1976

    Sadly, I knew this. Which partly explains my lack of dating prospects in college.

  208. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 20:59

    Mebbee ‘samovie? Flashy thing, as in.

    Ja. Need special Adobe glasses for that.
    .

  209. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 21:01

    So, did y’all watch Nashville? See some of my stompin’ grounds?
    .

  210. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 21:02

    I watched on hulu.

    The most unrealistic thang? Dood pulls out his phone at The Bluebird Cafe. He would have been shusshed to death IRL.
    .

  211. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 21:06

    … and at $4M/episode, some of that money has to stay in town.
    .

  212. smut clyde said,

    October 14, 2012 at 21:27

    I was told there would be jelly golem wrestling.

  213. Major Kong said,

    October 14, 2012 at 21:30

    I was told there would be jelly golem wrestling.

    I see I’m not the only oglaf fan here.

  214. Pupienus said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:11

    I see I’m not the only oglaf fan here.

    Not by a long shot, I’d wager.

    Re Nashville, I never got the Jeff Goldberg character.

  215. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:15

    Re Nashville, I never got the Jeff Goldberg character.

    Not the old Altman flick — the new ABC soap drama.
    .

  216. Pupienus said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:22

    Goldblum.

  217. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:32

    BRUNDLEFLY IS NOT THE POINT!
    .

  218. Major Kong said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:33

    So is the show actually filmed in Nashville?

    They didn’t do their usual give Vancouver a make-over and call it Tennessee?

  219. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:36

    So is the show actually filmed in Nashville?

    A lot of it is, yeah. Dunno if all of it is. But there are plenty of interior and exterior shots I recognize as authentic.
    .
    .

  220. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:49

    They didn’t do their usual give Vancouver a make-over and call it Tennessee?

    Vancouver is a perfectly adequate Tennessee. The ocean and the mountains are RIGHT THERE.

  221. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 22:51

    Vancouver is a perfectly adequate Tennessee. The ocean and the mountains are RIGHT THERE.

    Chromakey magic, son.

    Still, pretty sure a lot of this is done on location, since it’s been all in the news here for months.
    .

  222. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 23:02

    There’s some shots in the old Post Office (now the Frist Center for the Arts, egad), The Bluebird Cafe (obviously) and plenty of exteriors that would be dumb to fake when Nashville’s so easy to fly to and set up a Red camera.
    .

  223. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 14, 2012 at 23:26

    Also everyone is making goddamned pulled-pork sandwiches.

  224. CRA said,

    October 14, 2012 at 23:30

    D&D has had golems since 1976, including the Clay version which is the one from Jewish legend.

    Yup. I got my Monster Manual at age nine in 1980. AD&D Clay golems are awful because the wounds they inflict don’t heal properly.

    I don’t recall hearing about golems’ hearts until Asheron’s Call came out in late 1999. It’s funny to think that MMOs have been up and running since before the millennium. This is the millenium of the online time sink.

  225. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 23:41

    Also everyone is making goddamned pulled-pork sandwiches.

    WORTH HAVING: Pulled pork tacos at Mas Tacos, Nashville. Don’t take my word for it — take Rolling Stone’s.

    And fuck the vegan fucks who wrote that. Pigs REWL.
    .

  226. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 14, 2012 at 23:47

    Obviously, I’m trying to get some of you fuckers to come visit and have a beer. And a pulled pork taco.
    .

  227. s said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:06

    Love to, JP, but, ya know, many, many kilometres divide us.
    Sigh.

    Note extensive, but warranted, comma use.

  228. Suezboo said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:07

    erm – that was me

  229. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:09

    There’s no cheese on Mas Tacos pulled pork taco, btw. None.
    .

  230. M. Bouffant said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:14

    Pulling the pork. Stop it!

  231. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:15

    Pulling the pork. Stop it!

    It annoys the pig.
    .

  232. Major Kong said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:25

    Obviously, I’m trying to get some of you fuckers to come visit and have a beer. And a pulled pork taco.

    Next time I have a Nashville layover.

  233. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:26

    Next time I have a Nashville layover.

    Will hold you to it, but I realize that’s gotta be rare.
    .

  234. Major Kong said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:37

    There’s a Nashville – Indy trip but I don’t have quite enough seniority to be able to get it.

  235. acrannymint said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:38

    I’m attempting my first North Carolina pulled pork tomorrow. It’s all prepped to go into the crock pot first thing in the morning.

  236. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:59

    There’s a Nashville – Indy trip but I don’t have quite enough seniority to be able to get it.

    Understood, and I hate that for a guy who lives in another favorite city of mine, so close, and yet so far. I know you spend a lot of time in Memphis, but probably all within 400 square yards, nearly every time.

    Here’s to ya, Major. We’ll have a beer at Blackstone, soon.
    .

  237. Major Kong said,

    October 15, 2012 at 0:59

    I’m attempting my first North Carolina pulled pork tomorrow.

    When asked what my favorite bbq is I have to say “All of them”.

  238. 5thKolumnisto said,

    October 15, 2012 at 1:00

    He told a story about his daughter’s name, “Bean.” What’s wrong with that? It was Kurt Cobain’s story, that’s what. A story Ryan was almost certainly aware of, him having been a big fan and all. That’s right, he stole the fucking story. Gawdamn I am hating him more and more every day.

    Via Pup’s link (originally in the New York Times)

    The nation’s first Generation X vice presidential candidate, he is an avowed proponent of free markets . . .

    The NYT’s giving what’s-her-name to the Boomers. Good to know.

  239. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 1:16

    Congrats. I now hate Geddy Lee, despite knowing better.
    .

  240. Pupienus said,

    October 15, 2012 at 1:47

    Pulled pork sammiches are great. I top them with pickled red onions and sometimes slaw.

  241. 5thKolumnisto said,

    October 15, 2012 at 2:41

    So anyway, I was reading something blaming Generation X hyper-individualism for infecting everything. I guess the clown pictured above is Patient Zero–or maybe that’s the current governor of his benighted state.

    I dunno about “hawt”. I get mobbed like Bieber when I’m at Senior’s night at the casino, and I’m Ryan’s age and not “hawt”. I think he may be appealing to some really creepy ladies, aka the Republican women’s base. I don’t mean to limit “ladies” to Ryan enthusiasts without penises.

  242. acrannymint said,

    October 15, 2012 at 3:02

    Pulled pork sammiches are great. I top them with pickled red onions and sometimes slaw.
    I’m not a real slaw fan mainly because most of them are mayo based rather than vinegar based. I’m kind of winging it on the bbq. I found a vinegary sauce recipe online that looked interesting and combined it with a crockpot recipe that had yummy looking rub.

  243. 5thKolumnisto said,

    October 15, 2012 at 3:09

    Wait, isn’t she [Lindsay Lohan] a felon? Can she even vote?

    California isn’t Mississippi (what’s the exception and what’s the rule?). Lohan (and other felons whether state or federal) can vote and run for or hold office if not in prison or on parole in California. Note: In California parole is not some special dispensation, but a routine part of post-release sentencing.

  244. Pupienus said,

    October 15, 2012 at 3:57

    Teh Ho, with whom I will start our keto diet next week, informs me that he is faskinated with the idea of breading something in crushed pork rinds.

  245. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 4:02

    Teh Ho, with whom I will start our keto diet next week, informs me that he is faskinated with the idea of breading something in crushed pork rinds.

    I suspect gaiety.
    .

  246. Pupienus said,

    October 15, 2012 at 4:40

    Gaiety is a given in our household.

  247. Pupienus said,

    October 15, 2012 at 4:41

    Given our household, gaiety is a given.

  248. M. Bouffant said,

    October 15, 2012 at 4:46

    The hell’s a “keto” diet?

  249. CRA said,

    October 15, 2012 at 4:46

    Teh Ho, with whom I will start our keto diet next week

    If you don’t mind, I’m curious why you would start such a diet. I won’t criticize, I just imagine they’re extreme and difficult to maintain. But maybe I’m confusing one thing with another.

  250. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 5:04

    Gaiety is a given in our household.

    Man, there goes the outing party plans.
    .

  251. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 5:14

    I just imagine they’re extreme and difficult to maintain. But maybe I’m confusing one thing with another.

    Meat and fat and hair
    That’s how you know the ketones are there
    .

  252. 5thKolumnisto said,

    October 15, 2012 at 5:19

    Wait, isn’t she [Lindsay Lohan] a felon? Can she even vote?

    OBS, Oregon is more “permissive” than California on felon voting. I still have a file full of eligible felon voters trying to vote while locked up in the Curry County jail and jails in Del Norte and Humboldt Counties in California from the last few elections. Their requests were all initially denied. Every one of them was denied by a corrections [sic] officer that has at least a GED, an interweb understanding of voting rights in their respective state, and authority to block an eligible citizen’s mail-in ballot.

    Note: Ballots in partisan elections among non-convict detainees in blue Oregon and California lean red. What’s the Matter With South Block?

  253. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 15, 2012 at 5:40

    at least a GED

    Still making fun of Canadians, are we?
    .

  254. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 15, 2012 at 6:08

    What’s the Matter With South Block?

    Why Johnny Can’t Shank.

  255. 5thKolumnisto said,

    October 15, 2012 at 6:22

    Don’t get me started on the Canadians. Imma trying to bash Baby Boomers especially those (Grover Norquist, Ralph Reed, Sarah Palin, &c.) that “pass” as Generation X. They’re not, and they’re scum. The Dynamic Duo from the Dairy State are, but they’re scum nonetheless.

    Also some people in a state that allows for felon voting saying that felons can’t vote. . . I win this argument (literally) a dozen times every two years. Also, I have to make this argument a dozen times every two years because it’s not on the GED.

    Fuck.

  256. John Revolta said,

    October 15, 2012 at 6:22

    What the hell? If felons can vote then why are we spendin’ all this money to keep all these darkies livin’ it up in prison, then??

  257. CRA said,

    October 15, 2012 at 7:07

    What the hell? If felons can vote then why are we spendin’ all this money to keep all these darkies livin’ it up in prison, then??

    Well, they certainly can’t be allowed to work for standard wages. That’d be nuts!

  258. Whale Chowder said,

    October 15, 2012 at 7:10

    our keto diet

    I prefer a “Hello Keto” diet, personally.

  259. tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,

    October 15, 2012 at 7:10

    republican sex symbols seem to be conspicuously well laundered

  260. tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,

    October 15, 2012 at 7:28

    Here’s the music vid. It’s a hot rocking dance tune with a catchy beat, a sizzling female lead singer, sexy dancing girls, and a radically cool

    the archies, maybe??

  261. Cerberus said,

    October 15, 2012 at 9:34

    New post.

  262. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 15, 2012 at 19:16

    5thKolumnisto said,

    October 15, 2012 at 6:22 (kill)

    Thanks for the edumifacation 5thK, good to know that I’ll still be able to vote if I ever get convicted of a felony. First I’ll have to figure out which one will be the most fun though.

  263. joanne g murphy said,

    October 21, 2012 at 20:48

    I want to take this moment to offer a sincere and long-overdue Thank You to all of the writers and contributors of SN who cast-iron-stomachally peruse the rightwing Blogosphere so I don’t have to. It’s a dirty rotten lousy job but somebody’s gotta do it and I want you to know how thankful I am.

    We should ALL thank you, lots, every day.

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()