Mr. Starbursts

This is a real picture. Designed specifically to highlight his “sex appeal”… Wingnuts and media whores have strange strange fetishes.

J.T. Hatter, American Libido:
Is Paul Ryan Hawt?

So yeah, apparently there was a Salmonella outbreak recently. A bunch of peanut butter from about 50 “different” companies all operating out of this one factory in Georgia turned out to be tainted and there was a recall set in motion to correct the “whoopsie” otherwise known as “the FDA has been reduced to one guy named Phil”.

Luckily I was able to find this out and lend the FDA a much needed hand by becoming deliriously sick for a week until my body remembered how to properly function again. So patriotic duty fulfilled, I’m ready to jump back into the fray. Well, not so much jump per se seeing as how I managed to twist my ankle to the point it resembles a grapefruit punched repeatedly by Chris Brown.

But hey, I’m doped up on painkillers and ready for anything. C’mon wingnuts, give me your best shot!

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • We don’t need to worry about the War on Women fucking us over because women are a pack of horny dogs that think with their dicks, I mean ovaries. And Paul Ryan turns me, I mean them, on more.

Shit, I’m still in a salmonella coma and this is all a waking dream. I was wondering why I wasn’t wearing any pants. Now to pinch myself and…

Oh dear Bob in Himmel, this is actually happening isn’t it?

Ok, let me get my pants back on, put the splooge guard over my face and prepare the disinfectant bath for what will surely be a cogent and intellectual missive.

Paul’s Hot! Joe’s Not.

Truly, an astounding wit!

I have to admit that I’m not “with it” anymore.

No. Stop laughing.

We haven’t yet begun to appreciate how utterly “without saying” this statement is.

I can’t dubstep. That would probably kill me.

Dubstep?

We can only hope.

I’m a rock ‘n’ roller. That’s my music and my era.

Well, then by American Thinker standards you’re practically a young whipper-snapper with the hippity hops. What with most of the rest of the writers there still railing against rock as the devil’s song tempting the harlots and jezebels into the sins of dancing.

Obviously, with your youthful spirit and possible single remaining silver hair, you can answer for us the mystery of the female libido.

And that’s my excuse for completely missing out on the “Paul Ryan is hot” mania that is sweeping the country. It started as soon as Romney announced Paul Ryan as his running mate this summer. Women know all about it. They started it. They’re keeping it going. So there must be something to it.

Yes, women started the meme about Paul Ryan being hot. All the way back in Summer of this year, even! Cause you know, the preceding, what, 2, 3, 4 years of non-stop media fellation on how Ryan just looks like he has strong arms was apparently just the buzzing bullet to keep everyone warmed up for Full Scale Public Orgasm.

Snrk.

Yeah, who the hell does the right-wing media whores think they are fooling with this shtick? (Besides themselves?) Not only has Paul Ryan been reduced to a fucking punchline over the media trying desperately to sell this “he’s conservative but younger and more conventionally attractive and addicted to fad workouts and lying about his performance*” narrative like it was the One True Religion, but given his public statements on women and women’s health, his very name has become a powerful sterilizing agent for women.

Try it ladies. Say his name and you can actually feel your fallopian tubes trying to tie themselves into a hangman’s noose in a vain bid to escape.

Did you know there’s a dance called the Paul Ryan? Yep. Here’s the music vid. It’s a hot rocking dance tune with a catchy beat, a sizzling female lead singer, sexy dancing girls, and a radically cool band pounding out the music.

Oh you know we need to check this out!

ROLL CLIP!

You’re welcome for all the humor you need for the next week.

So, yes, our spritely young septuagenarian has, to argue his case that Ryan fever is melting the delicate lady brains among our impressionable youth, decided to cite a… video made by the National 912 PAC as a desperate response to this Paul Ryan parody video.

And if that PAC name seems oddly familiar, that’s because that would be the name of Glenn Beck’s SuperPAC. And you thought nothing Glenn Beck touched could ever warm your hearts.

Oh but we haven’t yet BEGUN to plumb the depths of desperate reaching yet.

You can go to the website and cast your vote for who’s hot and who’s not. Paul’s Hot! Joe’s Not. Cast your vote here.

Yes, that’s right, it’s a link to a literal “hot or not” site that seems to have been voted on exclusively by wingnuts given the “meter”, as it were, of the sparse comments on the results page. A results page with only 310 responses at the time of writing this.

There’s a way this could be more pathetic but it’s not coming immediately to mind. Maybe if you…

OK, I admit it. I voted. Guess whom for.

Yep, that’s the ticket. And, to let it not be said I pass up the easy joke: “Of course you did*, honey.”

The video says it is “Brought to you by people who are not politicians.” That’s why it resonates. Those are the people who will save the USA — not politicians.

That statement isn’t on the “music” “video”. Nor on the… all so critical “Hot or Not” poll. Nope, that’s straight from the SuperPAC’s Facebook page. You’d think if you were going to be that obvious about where the purse strings come from, you’d bother to put up a paid link or something.

Seriously, I haven’t seen a worse attempt at faking a “totally organic” video that has “gone viral entirely by chance” in my life. This is like a viral video B-movie where you can see the boom mike falling into frame and the script the actors are reading on the ground.

The “Do the Paul Ryan” music video had me bouncing in my chair

And how!

, so I decided to look more closely at the lyrics to discover if there were any profound political messages Ryan’s female supporters may have embedded in the song for us. Here’s the first verse:

This is really happening, isn’t it? Oh wow, it’s a Snarkmistress Christmas miracle!

“Do the Paul Ryan”

I wasn’t interested in politics much
But the changes keep a comin’
And I was out of touch
But I’m hopin’ for a change
And feelin’ kinda steamy
Never had a Veep who’s been so dreaaammyyy.
Uh oh, oh oh Paul Ryan
(chorus) He’s hot!
Oooo Baby you ain’t a lyin’
(chorus) Rockin’ hot!
Inside I think I’m dyin’
Uh oh, oh oh Paul Ryyyaaaannn!

Truly the greatest masterpiece Wingnutistan has ever paid a hack to churn out!

That tells the story about where the women are coming from.

Oh that it does. It tells the entire story from the moment they cashed the check to the moment Glenn Beck breathed out the lyrics while hunched over and panting in his studio.

I had to play the video about ten times to get the lyrics. I had to crank it up pretty loud, too, to pick out the words amid the rock-and-roll beat, racing car engines, and singing girls jumping up and down.

And that’s how you know that you’re dealing with a quality piece of work rather than some ordinary run-of-the-mill train-wreck. It’s the mark of real artisan failure, yanno?

That brought my teenage daughter into my office.

I totally believe that this is a real person and you are still young enough to have a teenage daughter.

“My ears are bleeding! What are you playing?”

I like imaginary teen daughter already!

“New music video on YouTube. Do you think Paul Ryan is hot?”

She looks at the computer.

It distracted her from my inappropriate hard-on.

“Isn’t he the Olympic swimming guy?”

“He’s our vice presidential candidate.”

Cause young people are all ignorant of politics in exactly the way that makes us look super smart for knowing such “insider info” as who is the Designated Hottie for the Republican ticket this year.

“Really? Well…not my type.” She looks closer. “He is kinda cute. Yeah, Dad. He’s really hawt!”

There you have it. She’s not old enough to vote, but I know where her estrogen is headed.

Man, I am so glad that this daughter is purely fictional because otherwise this would be Jerry Sandusky levels of creepy.

JFK Hair

This amazes me. But I’m glad about it. Romney’s got good hair. He’s handsome for sure. Now I’m being told that Ryan, who I always thought looked like a CPA, is hawt (which I’m given to understand is much better than hot). I always admired him for his good sense, compassion for others, and brilliance in understanding our budget problems and formulating workable plans to solve them. Ryan’s selection as VP impressed me more than anything else Romney has done.

But this whole “Ryan is hot” thing is news to me, and a little strange, too. You think I’m making it up? This is even harder to believe — the entire liberal agitprop news media wholeheartedly agrees: Ryan is hawt.

So yeah, Paul Ryan is the new Sarah Palin is the new John McCain is the new George W. Bush for our sexually repressed nutters.

No wonder they clinged to Palin so long, it was the first time in over a decade where they could pretend to be entirely straight in their parade of thinly veiled man-crushes.

Politico said, “Forget the budget: Paul Ryan is hot!”

Salon said, “The entire Internet is losing its collective mind over a shirtless pic of vice presidential candidate, and fitness freak, Paul Ryan.”

TMZ said, “Paul Ryan – He’s hiding a 6 pack!!!” and “Rep. Paul Ryan may be the hottest Vice Presidential candidate ever … but we’re not talking policy.”

House sources tell TMZ that Ryan works out at the House gym every morning at 6:00 AM, and his routine is “fierce.” We’re told he’s kinda on the skinny side but “totally ripped and has a six pack.”

TMZ was first to reveal the Paul Ryan shirtless photo that was an internet craze.

ABC news said:

Both Twitter and Tumblr lit up with photos of the Republican budget maker, overlaid with quirky economy-related tag lines, as the “Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan” meme was born.

The Atlantic Wire ran a column entitled, “Is Paul Ryan Ushering in ‘The Year of the Manslut’?”

Policymic says, “‘Come hither’ looks seem to come naturally to him.”

Shorter Mad Hatter:

See, it’s not just me with the gay crush on Ryan. Lots of media whores want him and have wanted him for years… God, I’m bad at this!

The Hawt Vote

Females across the nation say, “Wow!”

Hey now, that’s absolutely true. The fact that it’s quickly followed by “What a flaming douchebag!” is completely immaterial.

And that translates into an awful lot of votes.

Oh definitely. Many many votes… for the man who doesn’t think contraception is Satan in Pill form.

Between Obama revealing himself as an empty chair and Biden being…well, Biden, we have a pretty good chance of pulling this election off — despite what the media spinners and pollsters say.

Really? We’re still pretending that Clint Eastwood’s chair stunt was anything than national embarrassment? Well, fool on me to correct them.

We just need to let the public see our soon-to-be President Romney and Vice President Ryan as they are:

Unrepentant sociopaths?

competent, experienced adults.

Oh, that was my second guess.

Perhaps we could show the public a little more.

Great idea.

“By better than 2 to 1, Americans say the more they learn about Romney, the less they like him.”

Ryan flexing his pecs on nationwide television? Worth two whole points. Maybe three. We could take Pennsylvania. Somebody get his shirt off for fifteen minutes in front of the right camera, and we’ve got this election sewn up. This Thursday night, do you know where your wife or girlfriend is going to be? Sitting right in front of the TV watching the Ryan/Biden debate. You’ll see. She’ll be smiling, too.

Yes, I bet she will. I bet she is making sure her door is locked and her totally real daughter is out of the house. What with her being an easy mark for the faintest hint that she hasn’t hitched her ride to a party of sexually repressed Viagra-takers slowly** fading into political history.

But that’s okay, because when he winks at the debate, you’ll feel the starbursts in your old bitter heart and remember how to love again.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I’m back, baby! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*In bed. Hiyo!

**Way too fucking slowly.

 

Comments: 263

 
 
 

American Thinker? Was food poisoning not enough?

 
 

A propos teh zombie-eyed vice-presidential candidate, the Clyde background is in dairy rather than wool but I still know a sheep-killing dog when I see one.

 
 

Thirst!!

 
 

“Isn’t he the Olympic swimming guy?”

“He’s our vice presidential candidate.”

I’d stake all my money that there is no teen on earth who would ever mistake Paul Ryan for Ryan Lochte.

 
 

What with imaginary liberal friends and imaginary family members you would think that the wingers might be able to cobble up something a bit more imaginative than Ratboy getting plenty of exercise. No? Well if it’s all you got…
Commiserations Cerb, peanut butter Salmonella is a very cruel thing.

 
 

I’m sure the Army could have used such a pec-tacular hunk of manhood to fight our enemies overseas. Along with Mitt’s five brats.

 
 

After any number of running magazines/devotees handed Ryan his head on his fake times, is the GOP still trying to pass him off as uber-ripped and vital and all?

 
 

Re: Mitt’s sons–my aunt wonders why they’ve been kept pretty much out of public view. She saw an interview with the eldest, and it gave her the strong impression that “the boy wasn’t right,” as it were. Shouldn’t they be blanketing the country from sea to shining sea as sterling Galtian surrogates for their dad?

 
 

He’s a hunka hunka burning bag o’ crap.

 
 

This must be a joke. I cannot believe this twatwaffle is jacking off to the thought of his underage daughter as a moistened bint to these fucknozzles.

 
 

Oh dear sweet baby jeebus. I got off of the boat and reading that crap has scarred my eyeballs.

 
 

They really do think women are that stupid.

 
 

Paul Ryan is a dog-faced dweeb with Eddie Munster hair who works out alot. If he’s hot, then any man with his figure is hot? Big blue eyes are a dime-a-dozen: how are they framed? His nose is like a caricature of a nose.

Look at the VP debate side-by-side head shots. You can count about a dozen thick furrows in this oddity’s forehead as Biden hammers him. I mean really, that’s what happens when he’s concerned: everything above the eyes looks like a stack of pancakes with a Munsters wig sitting on top of it.

 
 

re: FDA
You know just a few weeks ago I was discussing with a co-worker the fact that pharmacies can add flavoring to a children’s prescription even though they have no stability data whatsoever. My co-worker (a pharmacist) went on to detail the lack of oversight for compounding pharmacies much to my horror. Then along comes this fungal meningitis thing and kg’s like omg-hfs the free marketz suxx bro!

 
 

I”m sorry; when I saw “Skrillex” I honestly thought Lena Dunham ghost-wrote this one and I had to leave.

(Now that I know that this isn’t the case, I can properly enjoy the Sadly, No! goodness)

 
 

The fact is I would tottaly go down on Paul Ryan.

 
 

They’ve pretty much given up on pretending that they take women seriously, haven’t they. The best I can figure is that their next big commercial will be 30 seconds of Ryan stripping while chanting “Jobs…jobs…jobs…jobs…”

 
 

Not hawt. Barely even borderline attractive. In any case, who wants to stick their dick in crazy? And that haircut! WTF? What I saw: http://www.motorhelmets.com/htm1/helmets-off-road-table.htm

 
 

Females across the nation say, “Wow!”

And that translates into an awful lot of votes.

If I were going to let my lady bits choose, Christian Bale would be my candidate. Paul Ryan looks like a toothless little old lady in that picture.

 
 

They really do think women are that stupid.

About 45% of them are, unfortunately. The very idea that a guy can actually try to redefine rape and still get a single female to support him is awfully fucking scary.

 
 

Tom Cruise is pretty good looking. Not exactly presidential material, however.

 
 

Stacey Dash is 46? Good lord. I have a new stalking victim.

 
 

They’re really reaching on this one – have to handwave away the *actual* “OMG ZEGS IS HAWT” constituency, since it’s half closet-nailed-shut GOPers and half “starving poor people gives me a BONERZ” sociopaths…

 
 

Again with the projection. It’s not the wimminz who want to Ryan’s hog, it’s the boys who are totally NOT gay.

 
 

Sorry to hear that you were laid out by that nasty old salmonella. I can tell how bad it must have been by the way you misspelled “Vivid” as “viral” when you were talking about that B-movie video thingy. Hope you feel better soon. Oh, I think I’ll pass on that lovely music video. Just looking at the still, I could tell that if I tried to watch it, there would be blood and pain as I could not imagine. Tell you what – I’ll go watch old episodes of Buzzcocks instead. Cheers!

 
 

Stacey Dash is 46? Good lord. I have a new stalking victim.

A co-worker reaction to my theory that she’s a succubus in disguise: “Check her hands; hands always give away the age.”

 
 

About 45% of them are, unfortunately.

I disagree. Yes, a large number of women will vote Romney for president (Although I think if it’s as high as 45%, Obama’s screwed), but they have reasons. Yes, to us they are stupid reasons, but they’re real. Pro-life, low taxes, anti-immigration, my pastor told me to vote R, my husband told me to vote R, I’m afraid that terrorists will kill my precious little Colby unless we have a big Republican Daddy…

But I would imagine that the set of women who are voting Romney because of Ryan’s rock-hard abs would fit in a phone booth. And the set of women who changed from R to D because of how “hawt” he is is smaller still. The notion just kicks me right in the feminism.

 
 

And the set of women who changed from R to D because of how “hawt” he is is smaller still.

As with Palin, it seems like some pundits are very carefully forgetting the world we live in. There are people who specialize in being attractive, and they’re all over the media. There is no sighted person in America who lacks opportunities to ogle people who make Ryan and Palin look like troglodytes.

If you find yourself asking, for example, “wouldn’t it be awesome if my lawyer was really hot?” I would suggest that you watch any number of TV shows and movies featuring hot people pretending to be lawyers. Your real-life lawyer should be qualified, something Ryan (and still less Palin) lacks.

 
 

There are people who specialize in being attractive

We do it just for you.

 
 

Pro-life, low taxes, anti-immigration, my pastor told me to vote R, my husband told me to vote R, I’m afraid that terrorists will kill my precious little Colby unless we have a big Republican Daddy…

I was making the argument that they are stupid. They’re as stupid as the men who work blue collar jobs and vote republican because of guns and God and all that phony horseshit that Repigs use to distract them from their quest to get the middle class to pay all the taxes for the rich. I do think there’s a small contingent of people who do vote on appearance and personality, meaning they go for the guy/gal they feel like they could sit down and have a beer or martini with. Larger than the capacity of a phone booth, but small.

 
 

Shorter: Women who vote for Republicans ARE stupid, slightly stupider than the men.

 
 

As with Palin,

Charlie Pierce: What’s the difference between Palin and Ryan? Lipstick.

 
 

No. Just….no.
I refuse to believe that this was written with the actual attempt at being funny.
You wrote this, cerb, admit it. In any case, I am not diving for mangoes, I just don’t have the strength.

 
 

A jaunt to Teh Corner is worthwhile this morning. Biden was “boorish” a bully and a horse’s ass. Also, women don’t think Joe “sex symbol” Biden is HAWT. It’s fun to watch them flounder in print just like his hawtness did on air last night.

 
 

Oh sure, tsam, and what am I, chopped fucking liver?

 
 

Nice crotch shots.

 
 

Oh Jeebus fucking Christ I missed it. The zombie-eyed granny-starver told us a story to show his soft, human side. He told a story about his daughter’s name, “Bean.” What’s wrong with that? It was Kurt Cobain’s story, that’s what. A story Ryan was almost certainly aware of, him having been a big fan and all. That’s right, he stole the fucking story. Gawdamn I am hating him more and more every day.

 
 

Oh good grief. The man is a complete doof. Hunky he is not.

 
 

If I were going to let my lady bits choose, Christian Bale would be my candidate.

I knew there was a reason I’ve always liked you.

 
 

Well, you may love nirvana, dude, but rest assured nirvana hates you. Even the dead guy.

 
 

Oh, I think I’ll pass on that lovely music video. Just looking at the still, I could tell that if I tried to watch it, there would be blood and pain as I could not imagine. Tell you what – I’ll go watch old episodes of Buzzcocks instead. Cheers!

You are a smarter person than I am. I foolishly listened to it. Now I suffer,

 
 

I was commenting to my wife (who was feeling anxious about how this debate would go given Obama’s performance in the last debate) that at least this debate would feature chunk-o-man-meat Paul Ryan. The conversation then proceeded something like this:

Mrs. DAS: even ignoring his horrendous politics, I can’t stand his widow’s peak

DAS: but I have a a widow’s peak

Mrs. DAS: Well, yours is different somehow.

DAS: I guess it’s the haircut. I part my hair to one side, which covers it up … at one point I just embraced it and had my hair slicked back [*]. But I guess if you have a widow’s peak you should either have a hair-style which minimizes it or a hair-style (like the stereotypical widow with a widows peak) that fully embraces it

Mrs. DAS: I think you have a point. You can’t just half-way try to show but not fully embrace a widow’s peak.

* but that style was too much maintenance — you know how much effort it takes to keep slicked back hair down when your hair’s natural tendency is to fly out in every single direction possible, not even limited to those available in 3D space?

 
 

OK, I watched the video. Which one of you schmucks is gonna pay for my therapy?

 
 

It’s a photo shop. Here is the original
http://img2.ranker.com/user_node_img/50001/1000003876/C350/u2.jpg

 
 

Oh sure, tsam, and what am I, chopped fucking liver?

tsam is a fallible god, but DON’T TELL ANYONE

Here’s one I’d consider if I were on your team

 
 

Hey VS, how ya feeling?

 
 

I love NPH. Legen

dary.

 
 

tsam, better now that I got off the devil drug.

 
 

What…? The one you just started?

 
 

Yes, I had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE reaction to it. It amazes me they give this shit to people with ANXIETY issues.

 
Coach Kathryn Jean Lopez
 

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, Rockin’ Ryan gets me trickling down from you know where, if ya feel what Da Cool K-Lo is rip-rappin’ at ya!

K-Lo out.

 
 

What sort of reaction? What happened? Anxiety?

 
 

What sort of reaction?

It was a devil drug. I assume the reaction included horns and a tail.

 
 

Argh … at work we have an assistant who is paid by a federal “workfare”-type program for older unemployed people.

She is uneducated, unskilled, can’t drive (even if she had a car), virtually unemployable. She’s destitute: if not for the federal program and food stamps, she’d probably be homeless and hungry.

But she hates Obama. Today she saw something on Yahoo! about a nice businessman who sent all his employees a memo stating that if Obama was re-elected they’d lose their jobs — he’d be unable to do business on account of taxes. Remember, this is a nice businessman / bad Obama story.

She knows that Obama will force her to buy health insurance and that’s not fair because she can’t afford to do that. I’ve tried to explain that her premiums would be completely subsidized, but I don’t think she believes me.

This is a What’s the Matter with Kansas? -type problem. Romney/Ryan want to set her adrift on an ice floe. Even if the economy improved greatly under Romney, she’d be lucky to get a minimum-wage job without no insurance. I was viewing this problem in the abstract, it’d be easier to take; people are often foolish.

 
 

“job WITH no insurance. IF I was viewing …”

There.

 
 

This is a What’s the Matter with Kansas? -type problem. Romney/Ryan want to set her adrift on an ice floe

She’ll have her pride intact though. Don’t need no guvmint assistance. So that’s something, right?

 
 

. I’ve tried to explain that her premiums would be completely subsidized, but I don’t think she believes me. – Golem Heart

Do you think the premiums will remain completely subsidized? Well, maybe for someone in her position, but I doubt if the subsidies will remain for many of us for long.

I fear that the Villagers and the GOP will push through some sort of “compromise” to control health care costs and address our massive deficit that will severely curtail subsidies (while keeping the mandate). Of course, the Dems will fall for it and support the compromise for which, in the end, no GOoPer will vote. Thus the GOP can run against Obamacare and its unsubsidized mandate while keeping their hands clean of actually voting against eliminating the subsidy.

Already note how Romney/Ryan are running hard against the $716Billion dollar medicare “cut” even if what they propose, by simple arithmetic (given the low admin overhead of medicare) will either cost more or result in service cuts? Similarly, note how they are running against the “unelected board of 15 bureaucrats” even if their proposals would empower similar boards working for private industry?

I’m glad Biden took at least some steps to call Ryan on this, but Obama really should have nipped these talking points in the bud during the first debate. Did Obama not realize that as soon as he bragged about saving $716Billion, the GOP would pounce?

 
 

Rrrrroooooooowwwwwwwwww

 
 

All that excellent snark and not a single mention of the various memes and other highly-skilled photoshoopdedoops of ZEGS? I haz a disappoint.

 
 

I endorse, nay, recommend the use of a full-body splooge shield whenever the topic of a wingnuts’ panegyric poot is either Palin, Malkin or Ryan.

You (& your dry-cleaner) will thank me for it.

Perhaps Ryan’s Jedi aura of pure high-octane studmuffinology is the secret weapon that’s fuelling the Republicans’ gaping shortfall among women voters. Wait, WHAT?

The spectacle of Ryan’s aw-shucks optical pimping reminds me that we Canucks had our own run-in with an arse-chinned, dulcet-voiced Alpha Himbo yclept Mulroney a ways back – & I’m not sure we ever actually recovered from him. Even imaginary clueless teenyboppers know damn well that something as vital as politics does not involve nor need a swimsuit pageant.

Republicans: making the average hormone-addled tween look like Noam Chomsky.

Hee hee – SKRILLEX, eh? For a few months in ’99 I was quite partial to Suzuki Kid (think: a Moog Prodigy having unnatural relations with BOTH The Ramones & Einsturzende Neubauten). Thus the current woo over dubstep always causes mine cakehole to gob up a LOL.

 
 

I idiotically missed the debate. Mostly because I didn’t want to be watching in case it went like last week’s, and partly because a MacGyver comic supposedly started coming out this week and I wanted to get it at Barnes & Noble (which didn’t have it).

The transcript was fantastic, though.

 
 

‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’

‘Because it was stuck on the end of Paul Ryan’s Dick!’

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

October 12, 2012 at 15:30 (kill)

The fact is I would tottaly go down on Paul Ryan.

Wow, real Gary showed up!

 
 

Mmmm, was someone recently dropping a delicious quickmeme.com link???

 
 

hot people pretending to be lawyers

Dude, what law firm is that? Do you have, like, a business card for them?

 
 

Here she is making ugly glasses look stupid hot

She’s so much better looking than Paul Ryan. That’s FOR SHORE

 
 

Wow, real Gary showed up!

Naw. Real Gary was deeeeeeeeply closeted. As in, “Bought his home through Narnia Realty.”
.

 
 

What sort of reaction? What happened? Anxiety?

Horrible jitters, feeling amped up and tired at the same time, panicky, having unreal feelings (like I was in a fog)…it just made everything i was feeling before the drug, 12 billion times worse. I’ll take some anxiety and depression over that any day of the week.

 
 

Oh, and also, muscle twitches while sleeping, horrible waking nightmares, dizziness, trouble sleeping…I could go on. I was really scared.

 
 

Oh, and also, muscle twitches while sleeping, horrible waking nightmares, dizziness, trouble sleeping…I could go on. I was really scared.

Also, horns and tail…but I ENJOYED those.

 
 

I’ll take some anxiety and depression over that any day of the week.

You should let the doc try something else. If you tolerated Zoloft, do you think it might help?
.

 
 

Do you think the premiums will remain completely subsidized?–DAS

I wouldn’t bet on it, and your compromise scenario is entirely plausible, given our parties and the structure of Obamacare, which seems designed for just that sequence of events.

On the other hand, we know why conservatives try so very, very hard to prevent the government from running social programs that benefit most people. The GOP behaves as if it is sincerely afraid that Obamacare could become a well-liked program and perhaps even a basis for more progressive reforms. People like my hapless associate could be heard to say “keep your hands off my ACA” (she doesn’t like saying his name). That’d be another anvil around the neck of the conservative movement.

If that happens, or in the first place if Obama is re-elected and the GOP lacks majorities to take action against Obamacare, it’ll be interesting to see how their strategy shifts. But yeah, the big danger seems to be democrats inventing or going along with some scheme to fix the ACA in all the wrong ways. They excel at that kinda thing, and at ignoring popular sentiment favoring progressive measures. It’s infuriating, because good policies can be promoted relatively easily, and honestly.

Conversely, it costs conservatives greatly to wage propaganda wars on so many fronts. It was said that the Bush/Rove admin were just Mayberry Machiavellis with no policy apparatus; maybe it’s increasingly tough for a GOP outfit to be anything else.

 
 

You should let the doc try something else. If you tolerated Zoloft, do you think it might help?
.

I’ve had bad reactions before and I can’t remember if one was to Zoloft. Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

 
 

Sadly, it’s just a TV show with a stunningly gorgeous lead character.

Seeing her TV/film history, I now know why I haven’t seen her before. Bet her husband looks like a douche…

*checks husband’s page*

…yep; douche.

 
 

I’ve had bad reactions before and I can’t remember if one was to Zoloft. Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

Can’t hurt. Amp up your Vitamin D, maybe try some St. John’s Wort, too.

I don’t have the anxiety issues, but anyway, what I was saying about these drugs being pretty specific to individuals in how the work, don’t work or work the wrong direction(s) renders any comparative speculation moot.
.

 
 

“The zombie-eyed granny-starver told us a story to show his soft, human side.”

I thought it was nice of the zombie-eyed granny-starver to tell a heart-warming story about Mitt giving money to someone who lost their family to a car crash….to Joe Biden.

 
 

Can’t hurt. Amp up your Vitamin D, maybe try some St. John’s Wort, too.

I don’t have the anxiety issues, but anyway, what I was saying about these drugs being pretty specific to individuals in how the work, don’t work or work the wrong direction(s) renders any comparative speculation moot.
.

I’ve heard it work wonders for the right person…but I was not that person. I will definitely try more vitamin D. Heard mixed reviews ow st. Johns.

 
 

Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

While I too should “try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health”, unfortunately, I tend to be inclined to exercise less, drink more, eat unhealthy and lot’s of toher stuff that’s prolly not good for my mental/physical health.

 
 

Back to Hatter’s post:

Ryan flexing his pecs on nationwide television? Worth two whole points. Maybe three.
We could take Pennsylvania. Somebody get his shirt off for fifteen minutes in front of the right camera, and we’ve got this election sewn up.

Hatter has a sad that he is not living in the right country to vote for Putin.

 
 

I’ve heard it work wonders for the right person…

[raises hand]

But I know plenty who didn’t tolerate it for any number of reasons, almost always different from anyone else’s reasons, believe it or not.
.

 
 

You (& your dry-cleaner) will thank me for it.

I’m thanking you for it.

So, who was the actual target demographic for the Lil’ Paulie pics? And, what medications were they taking / selling / making in their basements?

 
 

The gifs that keeps on giving (Warning: may slow computer down).

 
 

who was the actual target demographic for the Lil’ Paulie pics?

Near-sighted pedophiles.

 
 

Right now I’m inclined to try excercising more, drinking less, eating healthy and some other stuff that’ll prolly be good for my mental/physical health.

What I have come to understand is that I need to eat healthy and exercise more in order to have any serotonin in the first place, the re-uptake of which the junk can then inhibit.

One or the other, in isolation, doesn’t seem to do a goddamned thing.

 
 

Please allow me to take a stance on Paul Ryan’s musculature.

 
 

Please allow me to take a stance on Paul Ryan’s musculature.

Or at least a squat. Maybe some footsie and some hand jive?
.

 
 

Can’t hurt. Amp up your Vitamin D, maybe try some St. John’s Wort, too.

St John’s Wort helped my mom but did nothing for me, but I’ve had good, if mild, results from DHA.

The gifs that keeps on giving (Warning: may slow computer down).

My life was incomplete before dancing Hitler.

 
 

I know a cat named Zombie-Eyed Paulie
Got a love for Ayn Rand makes him go bawlie
He can smirk and chart and voucher you
And do that crazy hand jive, too

Hand jive
Hand jive
Doin’ the Ryan hand jive

 
 

Yes, I had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE reaction to it.

Give another a shot: nobody really gets why one does X for one person and Y for another. Most of them helped my mood, but some made me touchier or more bad-tempered than others. There’s nothing like a happy asshole to ruin the days of everyone around them.

 
 

Always with the goatse!

 
 

Hm…well, my first 2 days were pretty much like that, then it just went away. Thing is, without the meds, I had ZERO motivation to exercise, eat correctly, clean my apartment, pay bills, etc…

Tough deal. Maybe they can give you something else.

 
 

The Lindsay Lohan endorsement:

Lindsay Lohan came out in support of Mitt Romney yesterday.

While most would, at first glance, write this off as gossip, it’s the latest instance of an evolving trend that jeopardizes President Obama’s chance at winning the White House.

Lohan, by all accounts, is a typical low-information voter. And low information voters, like it or not, will decide this election.

The first person to pick out this trend was Dave Weigel at Slate after sportswriter Buzz Bissinger endorsed Romney after his positive debate performance. Bissinger, Weigel notes, was a low information voter. He ignored the election, watched the debate, took everyone’s word for it on the facts, and backed Romney.

 
 

I noticed that you don’t buttchug…not sure if that’s the cause, but maybe give that a try.

 
The Happy Buttchugger
 

WooHoo!

 
 

I noticed that you don’t buttchug…not sure if that’s the cause, but maybe give that a try.

I’m not dignified enough to try buttchugging. I leave such activities to the aristocrats.

 
 

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happened to me…but when I found out Lindsay Lohan was voting for Romney, my brain LITERALLY fell out of my head, and I spontaneously decided to support Romney too. It was very hot.

 
 

I’m surprised that Lindsay Lohan has enough brain cells left to actually form an opinion at this point.

 
 

The Happy Buttchugger

(Food?) Franchise Name.

 
 

Can’t score the brain-cell-killing drugs without brain cells.

 
 

Can’t score the brain-cell-killing drugs without brain-killing cells.

Fuqqst.

 
 

The Happy Buttchugger

(Food?) Franchise Name.

Home of the Buttburger!

 
 

I love to go a-buttchugging,
Along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to chug,
My wine-sack on my back.

Val-debutt,Val-dechug,
Val-debutt,
Val-dechug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug
Val-debutt,Val-dechug.
My wine-sack on my back.

 
 

A while ago, the Obama campaign Tweeted about lowering taxes for the middle class and small business owners. In response, Lohan Tweeted:

@BarackObama we also need to cut them for those that are listed on Forbes as ‘millionaires’ if they are not, you must consider that as well.

This is hardly coming out of left field. Although she’s definitely “low-information”, her endorsement is just a matter of her looking out for her own selfish interests.

 
 

The shots with his legs are the best. Charlie Pierce called him “Congressman Stork” while the redoubtable Doghouse Riley went with ‘Birdlegs’.

 
 

(Food?) Franchise Name.

Jack in the What???

 
 

Jesus fucking Christ I cannot believe that it’s easier to Google an age-calculator and use it than to subtract one date from another in Excel.

 
 

Although she’s definitely “low-information”, her endorsement is just a matter of her looking out for her own selfish interests.

Yup. Along with all the other rich sociopaths.

 
 

Lindsay Lohan came out in support of Mitt Romney yesterday.

When you’ve lost the burned-out, broken-down, junkie jailbird vote…

Hmmm…I’m not sure that’s really a trend to worry about.

 
 

Lindsay Lohan came out in support of Mitt Romney yesterday.

Wait, isn’t she a felon? Can she even vote?

 
 

I don’t think Romney is necessarily capable of swaying more low-information voters than Obama, who got plenty of them last time around.

Assuming for a moment that Romney came across better than usual in the debate, he’s still Romney. He’s not truly charismatic or exciting, and his rhetoric is unfailingly generic and shallow. He clearly thinks that’s a winning formula, but it offers no distraction from his unappealing mannerisms and personality.

An engrossing speaker of interesting ideas can get away with an odd cadence, a cache of elitism, or eccentricity, or what have you: listeners are borne above all that. Romney is sadly earthbound for one who is unmoored from the facts … Lately he’s been using a slogan stolen from Friday Night Lights: “clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose.” I can imagine it working in a visceral way on TV, but from Romney?

 
 

Wait, isn’t she a felon? Can she even vote?

I suppose it should have occurred to me that tough-on-crime laws are a form of election-gaming but I am a little slow that way.

 
 

Wait, isn’t she a felon? Can she even vote?

No, but the inability to [fill in the blank] has never stopped a Republican from [fill in another blank]. Ever. It’s practically a law of physics.

 
 

What I like is that Paul Ryan is younger than me and looks a decade older. That makes me feel good.
He’s not so unattractive that I couldn’t fall in love with him if he were a sweetheart. Unfortunately, he’d like for me to die of an ectopic pregnancy, and that’s repugnant.

 
 

Rockin’ Ryan gets [K-Lo] trickling down from you know where

Oh jeezus CHRIST! I was halfway through a plate of lasagne when I read that… now I’m suddenly done.

Thanks a fucking LOT for putting the image of Lopez’s grool in my head.

 
 

Jesus fucking Christ I cannot believe that it’s easier to Google an age-calculator and use it than to subtract one date from another in Excel.

I tried to get Excel to add time once for an installation estimating sheet. FAIL.

 
 

The only tricky part about calculating ages is when one or both months are unknown.

I like to show off my ability to do simple calculations quickly in my head. I think many people just don’t try, and so they don’t learn the obvious tricks, like setting aside the hundreds from the tens for a moment.

 
 

…Ernest goes to the gym

 
 

I’m glad Screech Powers finally moved on from Bayside High School.

 
 

That photo is from Paul Ryan’s unsuccessful campaign for Vice President of the Big Brother House.

 
 

Val-debutt,Val-dechug,
Val-debutt,
Val-dechug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug
Val-debutt,Val-dechug.
My wine-sack on my back.

VandeHee, VandeHei
VandeHee…
.

 
Nobody pointed this out yet?
 

I was wondering why I wasn’t wearing any pants.

So you didn’t have to pull them down when the Brown Tidal Wave next hit?

 
 

My eyes are juicy this evening.
.

 
 

Here’s another math tip: Windows has a little calculator. Don’t hunt for it– pin it to the taskbar or something. If you’re blind, just tile the whole screen with shortcuts to it.

 
 

Nobody pointed this out yet? said,

We prefer not to sully Cerberus’ valiant call of duty to the Free McMarket via deregulated salmonella acquisition by citing it – we’re all very Full Adam Smith-y* that way here.
________________________________-

* “Once you go Full Adam Smith, you never go back … if you know what’s good for you.”

 
 

So, who was the actual target demographic for the Lil’ Paulie pics? And, what medications were they taking / selling / making in their basements?

Fetal pineal gland extract is one hell of a drug.

 
 

Fetal pineal gland extract is one hell of a drug.

On the streets, we call it “Bean,” or “Beans.” Helluva drug.

 
 

Fetal pineal gland extract is one hell of a drug.

Hey; an ideal investment opportunity! Call the boys at Bain. They’ll love it.

 
 

I think I’ve lived too long: I can’t stand reading this retread of Quayle- (and to some extent Palin-) stroking.

Characteristically, the Republicans believe that all they need is the blood of a relatively young person.

Tepes/Bathory 2016!

 
 

Characteristically, the Republicans believe that all they need is the blood of a relatively young person.

Sadly they’ve got plenty of that:

Iraq Body Count

 
 

Oh, fuck.

It’s still there.

The picture, I mean.

 
 

Whee! a Saturday at the office doing data entry! I had planned on taking a tandem hang glider ride, but it’s supposed to rain all day. This is just as good though isn’t it?

 
 

Is Paul Ryan hawt?

Why, with that vulture beak nose, eyes set too close together and thin, lipless mouth, he’s the spitting image of a young Charles Montgomery Burns!

 
 

he’s the spitting image of a young Charles Montgomery Burns!

And, like Burns, he’s in possession of a trillion-dollar bill and intends to use it for nefarious purposes.

 
 

Christ. It’s like a publicity pic for some lame-ass summer replacement sitcom from the 80’s that nobody remembers.

 
 

Christ. It’s like a publicity pic for some lame-ass summer replacement sitcom from the 80?s that nobody remembers.

That is obvious revisionism. I’ll have you know his walk-on appearances on ‘Beans Baxter’ nearly got a young Paul Ryan an Emmy nomination.

 
 

Oh cheer up y’all. Fifty years from now they’re gonna look back on this picture and say, “Look how staid & decorous they were at the turn of the century. They didn’t even have the Presidential Dance Contest or the VP Swimsuit Competition yet”.

 
 

Oh cheer up y’all. Fifty years from now they’re gonna look back on this picture and say, “Look how staid & decorous they were at the turn of the century. They didn’t even have the Presidential Dance Contest or the VP Swimsuit Competition yet”.

Poetry slam.

Sadly, yes.
.

 
 

I’m not sure If I eagerly anticipate or dread the debate format changing from the current moderated debates to tag team lube wrestling.

 
 

I’m having a bit of trouble continually seeing that photo of Geddy Lee up there.
.

 
 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Broke my backup eye glasses last night. My scrip is out of dat so I need an exam. Kaiser, who provides my vision plan, isn’t open on Saturdays. $100 out of pocket for an exam. I’ve been buying my glasses from China – last pair of memory frame, progressive, photochromic, coated lens glasses ran me $78. The place here at the mall wants $310 for their cheapest pair for my scrip. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 
 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I think you’ve settled the conundrum of shitting or going blind quite nicely there, Pup.
.

 
 

Does Tokyo survive?

Universal’s decision to mothball their big-screen version of Monopoly hasn’t daunted Hasbro.

The game company is reportedly pursuing big-screen versions of not only Monopoly but also Hungry Hungry Hippos.

 
 

Whackyweedia reports that there is a remake underway of the 1985 Cluedo movie.

 
 

Isn’t that Screech from Saved by the Bell?

 
 

October 13, 2012 at 21:25

I’m having a bit of trouble continually seeing that photo of Geddy Lee up there.
.

LOL. We never stop picking on the Canadians here, do we?

 
 

LOL. We never stop picking on the Canadians here, do we?

They’re such good sports about it.
.

 
 

big-screen version of Monopoly

With Will Ferrell as The Flatiron.

 
 

And really… I think I’m onto something.

They’re both Objectivists.

COINCIDENCE???

 
 

They’re both Objectivists.

I thought that was No-Feel Neil, not the Geddster.
.

 
 

I thought that was No-Feel Neil, not the Geddster

Fah, you know what – you’re right.

Shows you now much I think about the subject.

 
 

Let’s hop on this to get some of this… but not from Wally*World.
brbiaf
.

 
 

I think we may be up for Bill and Ted remake. And yes, widow’s peak is creepy. It’s so pointy

 
 

Well, I’m back, and two beers more enlightened!
.

 
 

I bet you can’t wait to hear me hold forth, now.
.

 
 

How many bees for a nickel?
.

 
 

Make it a few more beers and you can spew forth.

 
 

Make it a few more beers and you can spew forth.

Oh, honey… I haven’t been able to do that for decades.
.

 
 

What? Barf? Drink until you barf? Have more than 2 beers? What? We wait with bated breath.

 
 

Drink until you barf?

This.

I can do 1-1.5 beers an hour, and no more. I get a pleasant buzz over several hours, and go to bed. 🙂
.

 
 

Yeah, I’ve got no interest in getting blind drunk and christening the toilet either.

 
 

Not boasting. Just… age has some compensations. 🙂
.

 
 

I may get to put it to the test. The landlord just e’d, and wants to meet up around the corner to see a friend’s band play. Oh, why not?
.

 
 

The landlord just e’d

Short for “eeped,” I guess? … “ejaculated,” perhaps?

 
 

E-mailed. Sheesh. 🙂
.

 
 

Landlord doesn’t have a smartphone, and doesn’t do GoogVoice, so SMS is foreign territory for him.
.

 
 

No, no…the lingo they use for ejaculation is “Jo-bro.” Trust me

 
 

vs, that site was a dog’s breakfast.
.

 
 

What? Subby’s blog or Best of Craigslist?

I rate for both. And I will Jo-bro in a totally not gay way with anyone who disagrees.

 
 

And since I didn’t go to the banks and deposit $400 for the landlord yesterday (payday), I have to suspect he’s not mad about it. 🙂
.

 
 

What? Subby’s blog or Best of Craigslist?

Subby’s. It kept repeating links to a cat statue in Firefox. It was noted that the CSS might be hosed. Yes, I think it was.
.

 
 

Well, let’s go do meatspace stuff for a while.
.

 
 

Could be because VS’s link was to the mobile version of The House of Substance.

 
 

There was also a typo. I talk a good game about the HTML editor, but actual results vary.

 
 

tags: jazz metal progressive rock rock instrumental rock math rock progressive metal Portland

Not necessarily an attractive combination of tags. Individually, mebbe.

 
 

Not necessarily an attractive combination of tags. Individually, mebbe.

LISSEN, then bitch, okay?
.

 
 

Waiting for ball game to be over.

 
 

LISSEN, then bitch, okay?

Izzat you? It’s bouncy and intricate.

 
 

I think I’ll go back to using my initials (CRA) for a screen name, like I do elsewhere.

This one’s too silly, or my name isn’t Elfcock McSpock, on account of my ears.

Anyone who wants to find out that I’m an journeyman birdlimer from Portland named Cynthia Rufus Asperger can do so easily enough, so why hide behind a fanciful pseudonym?

 
 

so why hide behind a fanciful pseudonym?

Frederick Ultrecht Kopperman might disagree.

 
 

What’s this? You need a name?

Iniquityqu Propos-Baud the Actuary
Devin Eustolia the Dangerous Plant
Lasandra-Deedra Accusative
Lumping Pig
Croleila Kellie
FoprJoyklucl
Decimateshif Pajama-Suspenses
Muoi the Controversial Triggerfish
Minister Advertisement the Real Estate Broker
Christeen-Erin Ardith the Icefish
Figurings Renegotiable-Dram the Big Cobbler
Anjanette Exasperation-Beg the Pleasurable Neraph
Aggressors October
Inventory the Colossal Wraith Spider
Vashti-Eulah Plank-Cryptographer
Kludjeramy Inefficiencies-Addicting
Misspelling Voch
YoubDeetta the Split Coroner
Piwpayqu Bret
Spent Governmental-Blusters the Greengrocer
Kabeze Wechthe Demented Minnow
Joan-Mai Lemzu
ShoylYelena the Ditch Digger
Romances-Chicano
Bludgeon Mai the Calm Piano Tuner
Stefanybe Cecropia the Censor
Xokmux
Caren-Sid Alton
Fishshawana Extend the Sandfish
Major Kiersten-Mike Sandwich the Corrupt Bandfish
Hoyquah Zecrocl the Cheap Pilot
Tuh
Brooked the Quivering Estate Agent
Nurses the Foreign Drywaller
Chana-Sharleen Blamers the Flavorist
Rosalinda Klayknour
Eusebiatuh Sumner-Bringer the Burning Skeleton
Dampli Plastics the Village Priest
Great Grandma Kanesha Dwarf-Pars the Subterranean Dense Pudding
Gregorio Thequthe Strangely House Wizard
Wibceeth
Extenuating Denver the Joyful Sleeper Shark
Rasmussen Gay the Wrymouth
Quoxfresheners Opposites-Brutally the Driver
Nofebicre Renate
Piperdayt Reba
Elana Dibble-Welded the Ufologist
Kejpiccolo Zaybiv
Copebucre Lexcid the Giant Panda
Thao Yoozya
Yakelsi Lavone
Lynell Dowich
Goyclee Unnecessarily
Naprhermine Tamera the Psychologist
Roseliaweequ Suthe Envious Miniature Rhinocerous
WoujKonrad Marvelousness-Radiates
Knockers
Leonoreshif Tuthbaz
Bichan Chang the Darter
Uncertainties the Watery Cow
Betterments Fayththe Catfolk
Creisis Albert
Righteously Excitation-Children the Bodyguard
Tawnya Milly the Ironmonger
Xikmatilde Backer-Portsmouth the Religious Police Inspector
Laraine Monotony-Godhead
Houvquayro
Harness Jeehoy
Queewomo Koochthe Sea Horse
Gogeheiress Imp the Urban Planner
Babellaypl Pageant the Queen of the Spiders
Banishesyise Wookpro
Dolee Visualized the Optimism Sailmaker
Nealdayt Womopray the Eccentric Gianttail
NeeDoun
Yushwih Twanna
Cocrdeidre Letitia the Particular Sheatfish
Ceethquits Satisfactory the Homemade Lion
Zujohnetta Folly-Journalize
Keshanour Laine
Foyhaj Coothe Salesperson
Carola Tonda
Dagny-Le Mussolini-Tantrums the Malignant Leatherback Turtle
Mr. Leilani-Chris Lulu the Financier
Dodhiedi Xobthe Essential Camarasaurus
Nayklavenia Roku
Dar-Supplying the Academic Wood cutter
Anticoagulationcoud Treva the Donkey Trainer
State Representative Regimentationkle Divina the Platy
Yevcukle Scampering-Quichua
Thichkle Sylvia the Many Marine
Faythmayj Firm
Dapthuno Kent
Broadenings Yixthe Lefteye Flounder
Preconceptions Antonina the Public Speaker
Great-Uncle Sheen-Tensely
Faypeacefulness Shapayqu the Buxom Theologian
Monarch Jamaal
Squeezing Shiplwoyr the School-bus Driver
Shimartha Jill

 
 

Some of those are implausible, and they sure as hell don’t come from an anagram generator. “Dapthuno Kent” sounds like a fellow involved in Nigeria scam emails.

 
 

“Dapthuno Kent” sounds like a fellow involved in Nigeria scam emails.

Yeah, but at night he flies around saving wildebeest, so it evens out.

And subby me lad, (whispered) the password for today is ‘acronym’

 
 

So I cheated. I’m corrupt, what can I say?

 
 

If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’

 
Xecklothayyquou Gilchrist
 

Aww! I got my name from just such a list, years ago. Thanks, Sub!

 
 

Did “Golem” sound too Jewish?

 
 

Izzat you? It’s bouncy and intricate.

It’s some young lads from Portland, OR… one or two* are sons of a friend of mine. I was heartened that the young folx were still interested in prog.

* Both sons participated, but one son says his involvement was so minimal that he doesn’t think he should be credited.
.

 
William S. Rubsrough
 

He’s got ZEGS and he knows how to use them.

 
 

Did “Golem” sound too Jewish?

I wouldn’t say that. My ancestry is probably 1/16th Jewish. It was meant to convey the sensibilities of a mighty construct, not the ethnicity of its maker.

In the massively-multiplayer game Asheron’s Call, players could collect the hearts of various golems, and fashion them into keys and stuff. Google seems to find the term elsewhere as well. Pokemon lore? I dunno.

 
 

I’ve seen the Garretts, I believe. Don’t recall where – Jimmy Mack’s maybe?

Went to another optical lab and managed to squeak out for just under $200. That was 50% off frame (which had already been marked down) and also lenses. Now I’m off to shop the web for Chinese glasses.

 
 

D&D has had golems since 1976, including the Clay version which is the one from Jewish legend.

 
 

Why the four-eyed are fucked

I’m sure I agree with the sentiment but I caint see no pikshure. iPhone but it’s just that page – previous page pic iz fein. Mebbee ‘samovie? Flashy thing, as in.

 
 

D&D has had golems since 1976

Sadly, I knew this. Which partly explains my lack of dating prospects in college.

 
 

Mebbee ‘samovie? Flashy thing, as in.

Ja. Need special Adobe glasses for that.
.

 
 

So, did y’all watch Nashville? See some of my stompin’ grounds?
.

 
 

I watched on hulu.

The most unrealistic thang? Dood pulls out his phone at The Bluebird Cafe. He would have been shusshed to death IRL.
.

 
 

… and at $4M/episode, some of that money has to stay in town.
.

 
 

I was told there would be jelly golem wrestling.

 
 

I was told there would be jelly golem wrestling.

I see I’m not the only oglaf fan here.

 
 

I see I’m not the only oglaf fan here.

Not by a long shot, I’d wager.

Re Nashville, I never got the Jeff Goldberg character.

 
 

Re Nashville, I never got the Jeff Goldberg character.

Not the old Altman flick — the new ABC soap drama.
.

 
 

Goldblum.

 
 

BRUNDLEFLY IS NOT THE POINT!
.

 
 

So is the show actually filmed in Nashville?

They didn’t do their usual give Vancouver a make-over and call it Tennessee?

 
 

So is the show actually filmed in Nashville?

A lot of it is, yeah. Dunno if all of it is. But there are plenty of interior and exterior shots I recognize as authentic.
.
.

 
 

They didn’t do their usual give Vancouver a make-over and call it Tennessee?

Vancouver is a perfectly adequate Tennessee. The ocean and the mountains are RIGHT THERE.

 
 

Vancouver is a perfectly adequate Tennessee. The ocean and the mountains are RIGHT THERE.

Chromakey magic, son.

Still, pretty sure a lot of this is done on location, since it’s been all in the news here for months.
.

 
 

There’s some shots in the old Post Office (now the Frist Center for the Arts, egad), The Bluebird Cafe (obviously) and plenty of exteriors that would be dumb to fake when Nashville’s so easy to fly to and set up a Red camera.
.

 
 

Also everyone is making goddamned pulled-pork sandwiches.

 
 

D&D has had golems since 1976, including the Clay version which is the one from Jewish legend.

Yup. I got my Monster Manual at age nine in 1980. AD&D Clay golems are awful because the wounds they inflict don’t heal properly.

I don’t recall hearing about golems’ hearts until Asheron’s Call came out in late 1999. It’s funny to think that MMOs have been up and running since before the millennium. This is the millenium of the online time sink.

 
 

Also everyone is making goddamned pulled-pork sandwiches.

WORTH HAVING: Pulled pork tacos at Mas Tacos, Nashville. Don’t take my word for it — take Rolling Stone’s.

And fuck the vegan fucks who wrote that. Pigs REWL.
.

 
 

Obviously, I’m trying to get some of you fuckers to come visit and have a beer. And a pulled pork taco.
.

 
 

Love to, JP, but, ya know, many, many kilometres divide us.
Sigh.

Note extensive, but warranted, comma use.

 
 

erm – that was me

 
 

There’s no cheese on Mas Tacos pulled pork taco, btw. None.
.

 
 

Pulling the pork. Stop it!

 
 

Pulling the pork. Stop it!

It annoys the pig.
.

 
 

Obviously, I’m trying to get some of you fuckers to come visit and have a beer. And a pulled pork taco.

Next time I have a Nashville layover.

 
 

Next time I have a Nashville layover.

Will hold you to it, but I realize that’s gotta be rare.
.

 
 

There’s a Nashville – Indy trip but I don’t have quite enough seniority to be able to get it.

 
 

I’m attempting my first North Carolina pulled pork tomorrow. It’s all prepped to go into the crock pot first thing in the morning.

 
 

There’s a Nashville – Indy trip but I don’t have quite enough seniority to be able to get it.

Understood, and I hate that for a guy who lives in another favorite city of mine, so close, and yet so far. I know you spend a lot of time in Memphis, but probably all within 400 square yards, nearly every time.

Here’s to ya, Major. We’ll have a beer at Blackstone, soon.
.

 
 

I’m attempting my first North Carolina pulled pork tomorrow.

When asked what my favorite bbq is I have to say “All of them”.

 
 

He told a story about his daughter’s name, “Bean.” What’s wrong with that? It was Kurt Cobain’s story, that’s what. A story Ryan was almost certainly aware of, him having been a big fan and all. That’s right, he stole the fucking story. Gawdamn I am hating him more and more every day.

Via Pup’s link (originally in the New York Times)

The nation’s first Generation X vice presidential candidate, he is an avowed proponent of free markets . . .

The NYT’s giving what’s-her-name to the Boomers. Good to know.

 
 

Congrats. I now hate Geddy Lee, despite knowing better.
.

 
 

Pulled pork sammiches are great. I top them with pickled red onions and sometimes slaw.

 
 

So anyway, I was reading something blaming Generation X hyper-individualism for infecting everything. I guess the clown pictured above is Patient Zero–or maybe that’s the current governor of his benighted state.

I dunno about “hawt”. I get mobbed like Bieber when I’m at Senior’s night at the casino, and I’m Ryan’s age and not “hawt”. I think he may be appealing to some really creepy ladies, aka the Republican women’s base. I don’t mean to limit “ladies” to Ryan enthusiasts without penises.

 
 

Pulled pork sammiches are great. I top them with pickled red onions and sometimes slaw.
I’m not a real slaw fan mainly because most of them are mayo based rather than vinegar based. I’m kind of winging it on the bbq. I found a vinegary sauce recipe online that looked interesting and combined it with a crockpot recipe that had yummy looking rub.

 
 

Wait, isn’t she [Lindsay Lohan] a felon? Can she even vote?

California isn’t Mississippi (what’s the exception and what’s the rule?). Lohan (and other felons whether state or federal) can vote and run for or hold office if not in prison or on parole in California. Note: In California parole is not some special dispensation, but a routine part of post-release sentencing.

 
 

Teh Ho, with whom I will start our keto diet next week, informs me that he is faskinated with the idea of breading something in crushed pork rinds.

 
 

Teh Ho, with whom I will start our keto diet next week, informs me that he is faskinated with the idea of breading something in crushed pork rinds.

I suspect gaiety.
.

 
 

Gaiety is a given in our household.

 
 

Given our household, gaiety is a given.

 
 

The hell’s a “keto” diet?

 
 

Teh Ho, with whom I will start our keto diet next week

If you don’t mind, I’m curious why you would start such a diet. I won’t criticize, I just imagine they’re extreme and difficult to maintain. But maybe I’m confusing one thing with another.

 
 

Gaiety is a given in our household.

Man, there goes the outing party plans.
.

 
 

I just imagine they’re extreme and difficult to maintain. But maybe I’m confusing one thing with another.

Meat and fat and hair
That’s how you know the ketones are there
.

 
 

Wait, isn’t she [Lindsay Lohan] a felon? Can she even vote?

OBS, Oregon is more “permissive” than California on felon voting. I still have a file full of eligible felon voters trying to vote while locked up in the Curry County jail and jails in Del Norte and Humboldt Counties in California from the last few elections. Their requests were all initially denied. Every one of them was denied by a corrections [sic] officer that has at least a GED, an interweb understanding of voting rights in their respective state, and authority to block an eligible citizen’s mail-in ballot.

Note: Ballots in partisan elections among non-convict detainees in blue Oregon and California lean red. What’s the Matter With South Block?

 
 

at least a GED

Still making fun of Canadians, are we?
.

 
 

What’s the Matter With South Block?

Why Johnny Can’t Shank.

 
 

Don’t get me started on the Canadians. Imma trying to bash Baby Boomers especially those (Grover Norquist, Ralph Reed, Sarah Palin, &c.) that “pass” as Generation X. They’re not, and they’re scum. The Dynamic Duo from the Dairy State are, but they’re scum nonetheless.

Also some people in a state that allows for felon voting saying that felons can’t vote. . . I win this argument (literally) a dozen times every two years. Also, I have to make this argument a dozen times every two years because it’s not on the GED.

Fuck.

 
 

What the hell? If felons can vote then why are we spendin’ all this money to keep all these darkies livin’ it up in prison, then??

 
 

What the hell? If felons can vote then why are we spendin’ all this money to keep all these darkies livin’ it up in prison, then??

Well, they certainly can’t be allowed to work for standard wages. That’d be nuts!

 
 

our keto diet

I prefer a “Hello Keto” diet, personally.

 
tacitus voltaire de bornelh
 

republican sex symbols seem to be conspicuously well laundered

 
tacitus voltaire de bornelh
 

Here’s the music vid. It’s a hot rocking dance tune with a catchy beat, a sizzling female lead singer, sexy dancing girls, and a radically cool

the archies, maybe??

 
 

New post.

 
 

5thKolumnisto said,

October 15, 2012 at 6:22 (kill)

Thanks for the edumifacation 5thK, good to know that I’ll still be able to vote if I ever get convicted of a felony. First I’ll have to figure out which one will be the most fun though.

 
 

I want to take this moment to offer a sincere and long-overdue Thank You to all of the writers and contributors of SN who cast-iron-stomachally peruse the rightwing Blogosphere so I don’t have to. It’s a dirty rotten lousy job but somebody’s gotta do it and I want you to know how thankful I am.

We should ALL thank you, lots, every day.

 
 

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