Oct
3

Poor Little White Mitt




Posted at 22:47 by Tintin

Shorter George F. (and you know what that stands for but if you don’t it ends in “wad”) Will, The Liberal Bastion of Columnists Charles Kraphammer and Michael Gerbilson
Can Romney turn this contest around?

  • The real victim of racism in America is Mitt Romney.

When conservative white male pundits write about race issues, you are pretty much guaranteed that you’re going to get some version or other of the “blacks are the real racists” meme that they hold so dear to their hearts. You can expect an anecdote about a poor rich white frat boy who has some disabled black lesbian professor’s boot on his neck. Along with that will be the required observation on the unjustness of black rappers being able to say nigger when a poor white man can’t even perform in a minstrel show in blackface without being convicted of a hate crime and executed by lethal injection in Blackville, New Blackedonia.

But Will, who is the poster child for the tragedy of diminished white entitlement, has a new spin. It’s not the blacks who are racists against whites.  No, it’s the whites who have now turned racist against themselves. According to Will, the American electorate is now mostly composed of self-loathing whites that would prefer to keep a blackity-black President in the White House rather than to admit that electric cars are a failure and vote for the white guy. (Seriously, Will’s biggest complaint about Obama in this column is plug-in cars.)

In the midst of this hilarity that attributes Mitt’s declining numbers to white-on-white racism there is another gem. Whereas most people talk about Jackie Robinson as a milestone in our progress against racism, Will instead finds the real milestone to be another black baseball-playing Robinson, namely Frank Robinson, a black manager of the Cleveland Indians. And it wasn’t hiring him that was the milestone. No, no siree:

[A]n even more important milestone of progress occurred June 19, 1977, when the Indians fired [Frank Robinson]. That was colorblind equality.

Yes, let’s celebrate the importance of firing a black man as the true milestone. I mean, after all, black men had never been fired before that and had been cruelly denied the white privileges of homelessness, unemployment, and poverty. For fuck’s sake, this must be the single most absurd thing to ever appear within the pages of the WaPo and you have to wonder whether in the next paragraph Will is going to claim that the true measure of racial equality is when we get can back to stringing black men up from tree limbs. Really. Or maybe the next milestone is when we stop depriving white people of being able to go to movie theatres and ride on buses with their own kind.

I should stop here but, this being Sadly, No! and my desire to humiliate this bow-tied fuckwad not being yet slaked, I want to go back to the electriccarpocalypse that Will thinks is the slam dunk reason for deposing Obama.

Tesla joins California-based Fisker, another floundering would-be maker of high-end rides for rich people, which has received a $529 million DOE loan.

Sadly, No!. The DOE authorized that amount but had only loaned $193 million before further loans from the DOE were cut off to the company last May for failure to meet milestones. So either the WaPo has no fact checkers, Will hasn’t heard about Google, or Will is a lying scumbag. I’ll take door number three, Monty.

447 Comments »

  1. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:48

    Fuck you bozo!

  2. M. Bouffant said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:52

    Feast!!

  3. gocart mozart said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:53

    George Will is dumber than a bag of Krauthammers.

    Also, I thought conservatives were against contraceptives. Please explain.

  4. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:54

    When it comes to dead giveaways for racism, “they get all the breaks” ranks just below “they smell bad.”

  5. M. Bouffant said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:55

    Read somewhere that it was estimated Obama’s negritude actually cost him 3%-5% of the popular vote in 2008.

    So bullshit on the “white-guilt” or whatever vote.

  6. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:58

    To continue a micro-motif from teh last thred, George Will doesn’t have the sense God gave to common seafood.

  7. Esteev said,

    October 3, 2012 at 22:59

    George WIll proves the only difference between Townhall.com and WaPo is a pay wall.

  8. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:04

    Poor Mitt, he’d be winning if he were Latino.

  9. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:05

    Oh, George, go take a nap. The adults are talking now.

    I’m dragging the last thread in here.

    See, the point is that a man can drink whatever the fuck he wants. When I drink pitchers of lite, shit beer, I do so because SPECIALS. I do like better beers, but it’s such a fucking crap shoot with stuff I’ve never tasted, and I’m NOT buying something I haven’t tasted for double the amount of shit beer only to find that it tastes worse than the shit beer, which many so-called good beers do. To say that drinking the cheap shit so that me and my bro can get hammered for less money (and I can leave a bigger tip for the poor girls that are forced to put up with me for the entire night) puts me in some class of person is fucking stupid.

    Now for my OT since GWill isn’t worth putting any effort toward:

    I WANT TO MARRY SHIRLEY MANSON, PLEASE.

    Thank you
    Have a nice fucking day.

  10. Seriously, NOT the Doughy Pantload said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:09

    George F. (and you know what that stands for but if you don’t it ends in “wad”)

    A fwad? What the heck is a fwad?

  11. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:10

    So either the WaPo has no fact checkers, Will hasn’t heard about Google, or Will is a lying scumbag. I’ll take door number three, Monty.

    You’re not suggesting that George F(I got a look at President Carter’s pre debate notes, gave them to Reagan’s team before the debate and then wrote a column about how Reagan won the debate) Will might have a problem with ethics are you?

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:12

    Yet another triumph of George Will.

  13. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:12

    A fwad? What the heck is a fwad?

    Is it a misspelling of the common middle eastern name Fuad? Does that mean George Will is a secret Muslim?

  14. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:13

    FuckWad

  15. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:15

    What annoys me about Will is that no human being has ever been as smart as Will thinks he is. Like it’s some big fucking accomplishment to dress up “those black bastards get all the breaks” in highfalutin language.

    Also, too, as Dave Barry noted: Why doesn’t someone take this dweeb and stick his bow tie up his nose?

  16. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:17

    I do like better beers, but it’s such a fucking crap shoot with stuff I’ve never tasted, and I’m NOT buying something I haven’t tasted for double the amount of shit beer only to find that it tastes worse than the shit beer, which many so-called good beers do.

    Do your local bartenders give out samples? The publicans at the places I frequent will always pour you an ounce or two so you can settle on a beer you really want.

  17. Alexander von Humbug said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:22

    P-shop fail: George would NOT be lubricated. Probably wouldn’t be latex, either. I’m thinking very, very dry lambskin.

  18. gocart mozart said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:26

    Also, why is a douchebag wearing a condom?

  19. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:26

    Do your local bartenders give out samples?

    Some do, some don’t. When it’s busy and crazy, I don’t bother asking because I don’t want to be that guy. In those cases, assuming I want a better beer than the hangover fuel, I’ll drink a Blue Moon (SHUTUP) or any good Hefeweizen I can find.

  20. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:26

    Also, why is a douchebag wearing a condom?

    Because he’s a dick, I’m guessing.

  21. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:28

    Us poor white guys can’t catch a break these days. I mean, we’re the best at sports, the best at dancing, the best at being cool, we created all of the rock and roll and blues music, and LOOK WHAT IS HAPPENING!

  22. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:29

    Running naked through the thread…

    Lookit here, everybody! WOOOO!

  23. gocart mozart said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:31

    Nice uhm, tan tsam.

  24. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:31

    FSM help me, I read that as “WOOOD!”

  25. gocart mozart said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:32

    Why do black people get all the good criminal defendant jobs?

  26. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:35

    Why do black people get all the good criminal defendant jobs?

    HAHA! That cracked me up! Gud 1 bro!

  27. tigris said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:37

    Tesla joins California-based Fisker, another floundering would-be maker of high-end rides for rich people, which has received a $529 million DOE loan.

    Sadly, No!. The DOE authorized that amount but had only loaned $193 million before further loans from the DOE were cut off to the company last May for failure to meet milestones.

    It’s a sad day when rich white men can no longer get no-strings cash from the government to subsidize the selling of expensive luxury items to other rich white men. This just proves Obummer is the real racist.

  28. gocart mozart said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:37

    [A]n even more important milestone of progress occurred June 19, 1977, when the Indians fired [Frank Robinson]. That was colorblind equality.

    Similarly, a still even more important milestone of progress occurred April 4, 1968, when the Martin Luthor King, Jr. was shot just like that white guy Lincoln. That was colorblind equality.

  29. Golem Heart said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:40

    For whatever reason, the topic reminded me of Guidelines for Bias-Free Writing. I read it by skimming for interesting entries, but moreover the whole topic holds a partly-perverse interest for me.

    Anyhow, take a look at the Amazon reviews. 3/5 are very negative, just beside themselves with disgust. One simply block-quotes PJ O’Rourke, who comes across as very turgid. Isn’t he supposed to be some sort of stylist, a haver of panache?

  30. tsam said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:44

    ‘Task Force’ on bias free language filled with cranks, pokenoses, blow-hards, four-flushers, and pettifogs.

    From Golem’s PRRRECIOUS link…

    I don’t know who most of that shit is, but it’s pretty fucking hilarious. Especially the four-flushers.

  31. Pere Ubu said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:47

    another floundering would-be maker of high-end rides for rich white people

    Fixed that typo for you, George.

  32. Pere Ubu said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:49

    cranks, pokenoses, blow-hards, four-flushers, and pettifogs

    George is working on Talk Like A Jack Vance Character Day with jejune rumfuddle like this.

  33. Hoosier X said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:52

    Mormons are going to vote for Romney in numbers pretty close to the percentages with which black voters will be going for Obama.

    Does anyone think it likely we will be hearing that Mormons are the real racists?

    (I mean, in this election cycle. That will be subject to change if the Democrats ever nominate a Mormon for the presidency.)

  34. Major Kong said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:55

    I think my new nickname for George Will is “Wedge” – because a wedge is the simplest of all tools.

  35. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:55

    PJ was once an interesting writer. His stuff at National Lampoon was usually good, though he was mostly imitating (not very well) Hunter S. How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink is probably the best example of his gonzo journalist wannabe phase. His Car & Driver work was … I’ll just say mediocrity was his forte. The more libertarian he got the worse his writing became (odd how that happens, innit? One wonders if there could possibly be some correlation and causation going on there)

    Now whenever he’s mentioned I am happy to have changed my nym here.

  36. DAS said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:55

    a poor rich white frat boy who has some disabled black lesbian professor’s boot on his neck

    Considering Rule 34 and all of that, do we really want to imagine the pr0n that G.F. Will, et al, are looking at?

  37. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:57

    cranks, pokenoses, blow-hards, four-flushers, and pettifogs

    George is working on Talk Like A Jack Vance Character Day with jejune rumfuddle like this.

    Needs more mooncalves and hormagaunts.

  38. DAS said,

    October 3, 2012 at 23:59

    Just because a black man is president somehow racism magically doesn’t exist? I actually might want to try whatever the right-wingers are smoking as it is some pretty strong shit evidently.

    At the very least, we cannot forget what it took for our country to elect Obama in the first place. Or as the Onion put it: http://www.theonion.com/articles/black-man-given-nations-worst-job,6439/

  39. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:01

    I think my new nickname for George Will is “Wedge” – because a wedge is the simplest of all tools.

    Also, he deserves an atomic wedgie for that column alone.

  40. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:04

    Is it a misspelling of the common middle eastern name Fuad? Does that mean George Will is a secret Muslim? – Helmut Monotreme

    You have identified George Will’s deep, dark secret: he’s really Louis Farrakhan in white-face.

  41. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:07

    Fox and Friends are pulling out the big guns for the debate post mortum tomorow I see.
    http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/10/03/and-filling-in-for-carrot-top-will-be-michelle-malkin/

  42. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:11

    Will: “Obama’s administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering politically. This may not, however, entirely be evidence of the irrationality of the electorate. Something more benign may be at work.”

    For a moment assuming this to be true because Will says it is, OK, sure, it might be because the sheriff is near, but here’s another possibility that apparently cannot penetrate Will’s braincase: it might also be because the alternative is MITT FUCKING ROMNEY.

  43. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:13

    Just because a black man is president somehow racism magically doesn’t exist?

    Overheard on ATC the other day, some goober saying he wasnt going to vote for Barry because “I thought we were going to be post-racial but that didn’t happen.”. No shit. Pretty sure it was in Colo. Springs.

  44. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:13

    I probably mangled the quote – he was faulting BHO for the country not being post-racial.

  45. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:19

    Drink whatever you want, tsam. Next time you order, somewhere one state down and a few hundred miles west, I will know

    [long sinister laugh]

    Sláinte!

  46. Hoosier X said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:19

    Oh! Oh! Oh!

    I got a great idea for George Will!

    He should find that white liberal that voted for Obama solely because he felt bad about slavery! (I’m sure there must be one.) And then WIll can interview him!

    Guilt-consumed white liberal: “Yeah, slavery was bad. and even though it’s been gone for 150 years and I had nothing to do with it, I just felt so guilty that I had to defy my better angels and vote for a black man. Any black man. It had nothing to do with John McCain being a weird, old crank and Sarah Palin being a … whatever she was.”

    A journalistic coup!

  47. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:23

    Guilt-consumed white liberal: “Yeah, slavery was bad. and even though it’s been gone for 150 years and I had nothing to do with it, I just felt so guilty that I had to defy my better angels and vote for a black man. Any black man. It had nothing to do with John McCain being a weird, old crank and Sarah Palin being a … whatever she was.”

    I actually stopped associating with a high school friend because he went full on wingnut and tried to play this card with me. I told him my prime reason for supporting Obama in the primaries was that I didn’t want the 2008 election to be a referendum on the Vietnam Era, and that voting for him in the general was a no-brainer because the GOP ruined the country.

    I voted for him because he was the competent guy, not because he was the black guy.

  48. Typical Republican said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:29

    No, no, no.

    Guilt-consumed white liberals would have voted for any black man who was running for president.

    They would have voted for Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson if either had ever run for president.

  49. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:30

    George F. (and you know what that stands for but if you don’t it ends in “wad”) Will, The Liberal Bastion of Columnists Charles Kraphammer and Michael Gerbilson walk into a bar. Well, Kraphammer gets wheeled in by his “assistant” if you know what I mean and I think you do. So anyway, the bartender says “what’ll you have?”

  50. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:32

    Typical Republican said,

    That would explain Senator Alan Keyes.

  51. Whale Chowder said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:50

    So anyway, the bartender says “what’ll you have?”

    Gerson says, “A true centrist candidate.”
    Will says, “A return to 1849.”
    Kraphammer says, “The use of my legs? No, wait, a brain!”

  52. g said,

    October 4, 2012 at 0:57

    an anecdote about a poor rich white frat boy who has some disabled black lesbian professor’s boot on his neck

    Yes, and said boot is manifested by the professor performing the heinous act of calling the frat boy a racist, an act which is more despicable and dastardly than lynching.

  53. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 4, 2012 at 1:02

    One simply block-quotes PJ O’Rourke, who comes across as very turgid. Isn’t he supposed to be some sort of stylist, a haver of panache?

    My theory about O’Rourke is that he got pissy when the GOP was hijacked by the idjits. Now he’s just some old crank spewing insults. The only mildly creative tidbit in that diatribe was his description of his strawmen’s clothes (“Wal-Mart blue jeans, batik print tent dresses, and off-brand running shoes, the synthetic fibers from their fake Aran Island sweaters pilling at the elbows”) but then he was always obsessed with clothes…a little weirdly, I thought.

  54. Smut Clyde said,

    October 4, 2012 at 1:02

    3/5 are very negative

    What’s that? Negative Amazon reviews only count for 3/5??

  55. Pere Ubu said,

    October 4, 2012 at 1:14

    he heinous act of calling the frat boy a racist

    A frat boy being racist?

    Why, how could that ever happen?

  56. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 4, 2012 at 1:19

    Why, how could that ever happen?

    Start with some friendly buttchugging, next thing you know you’ve got a hood on and you’re a bit warm ’cause of the cross burning and all. It’s the only explanation.

  57. Pere Ubu said,

    October 4, 2012 at 1:23

    O’Rourke’s problem is that he was a conservative because being conservative was hip and “edgy” and cool at the time (back in the mid-90s). Now that the conservative brand is viewed somewhere in the vicinity of impacted wisdom teeth, it isn’t as much fun being a right-wing asshole.

  58. Golem Heart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:08

    “The very concept of this book is deeply offensive to anyone who values freedom of speech and thought, or good writing. Don’t these people realize that they are engaging in intentional brainwashing? You can’t change reality by changing the words; you have to change it by changing the reality. Resist these intellectual totalitarians at every opportunity! Use (and treasure) precise, vigorous language, eschew emasculated, politically correct twaddle.” [emphasis mine]

    Precision means, in the first place, referring to women as men. Also, if you find yourself typing “every man-jack among us” or “man’s inhumanity to man,” congratulations! –Your writing is vigorous. Refer to rapists and killers as “gentlemen,” unless the prospect of emasculation appeals to you.

    The people who call themselves “Khoikhoi” must be referred to as “Hottentots,” that being precisely what Europeans called them. Ignore such gypsies as insist on other designations: they’d like to “gyp” you out of your treasure-trove of living language.

    Never, ever admit to understanding intragroup vs. intergroup usage of words like “nigger” or “dyke” as functionally and morally different. Write as if such distinctions are inoperative; your prose will be the better for it, your brain (and your readers’) less washed and more free.

    Above all, when people having no authority issue guidelines, behave as if jackbooted shrews are standing on your neck, ready to cut your balls off. Your concern for realism demands it.

  59. Golem Heart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:19

    That’s not PJ O’Rourke’s “review,” by the way, but it’s far more substantive. O’Rourke is too knowing and clever to adress the topic, preferring to fluff himself with antique thesaurus-shavings while sitting pretty on an assload of monocles.

  60. Snorghagen said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:21

    My favorite George Will photo.

    “I am not the pencil-necked twerp I appear to be. In fact, I will boldly configure my hands and my tie so as to draw your attention to my majestic crotch.”

    And what kind of a booger-eater would allow their book to be advertised as “unfailingly felicitous”?

  61. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:26

    Will: “Obama’s administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering politically. This may not, however, entirely be evidence of the irrationality of the electorate. Something more benign may be at work.”

    Hm…could it be that the nearest comparison is a fucking idiot wannabe cowboy from Texas who cut taxes and started 2 wars and made lots and lots of new enemies while making the US the laughingstock of the civilized world by losing a continuous battle with the English language?

    Nah, couldn’t be that.

    Also: Alternate title for GFW’s column: 50 Shades of Bray.

  62. Golem Heart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:26

    And what kind of a booger-eater would allow their book to be advertised as “unfailingly felicitous”?

    What do you mean, allow? This is George Will. He insisted on it.

  63. Major Kong said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:33

    So who’s a bigger wuss? George Will or Ben Stein? That would be one heck of a slap-fight.

  64. Pere Ubu said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:36

    So who’s a bigger wuss? George Will or Ben Stein? That would be one heck of a slap-fight.

    Stein would monotone Will to death.

  65. Golem Heart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:40

    I think Stein is the bigger wuss. He’s a muddle-headed softie, but I won’t argue the point.

  66. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 4, 2012 at 2:58

    I don’t always leave a steaming mound of fetid spoor at WaPoop … but when I do, I copy it all out here too, just to be a pretentious twat:

    MyLittleMechaPony
    5:29 PM PDT
    Yes, Romney can turn this contest around … as soon as he gets his hands on one of the memory-erasing pens from “Men In Black.” Otherwise, his contemptible & idiotic remarks to his funders at a certain $50,000-per-plate dinner are going to torpedo his campaign. From kicking the can down the road on Israel/Palestine to “47% of Americans are parasites,” Romney handed Obama the perfect storm of FAIL & he’s now using it to hammer the GOP with its own latent sociopathy – & it couldn’t happen to a nicer party. The deadliest weapon in Obama’s arsenal is Romney’s mouth.

    An economy recovering after four years when most in the know reasonably expected said recovery to take 10-20 years & murderous Mideast dictatorships toppled left & right = “a shambles” in Will’s febrile mind … but sadly, a lot of Americans have minds of their own – & even worse, they can find out the truth via the Web, like Fisker’s DOE money being cut off after $193M, not $529M as Will claims (Google it – Will obviously didn’t).

    You’re going to need a bigger shovel, George.

    Also, can the politics-as-sports analogy finally be sent to the graveyard of useless tropes where it belongs? It is insulting to readers’ intelligence to suggest that either war or politics are just like a meaningless contest between two teams, not to mention highly misleading – its use is a sure-fire indicator that the user either knows nothing about the subject at hand or wishes to deceive readers with simplistic tripe, or both.

    Speaking of rare anomalies, I’m not only drinking (?!?!?), I’m drinking this yummy swill!

    Might be a good idea to get out in the yard & keep an eye out for apocalyptic meteors, because I generally make it a rule to avoid lagers like teh plague. Have to admit, this is some mighty fine* discount garglin’-booze I got me right here.
    ______________________________________________________

    *Consumer is proletariat/Philistine white-trash; your results may – & probably will – vary.

  67. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:01

    I think Stein is the bigger wuss. He’s a muddle-headed softie, but I won’t argue the point.

    Stein seems a smidge less likely to rape a slave.

  68. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:05

    PS: Trying to make political hay by slinging horseshit about $336 million?
    In America … in 2012?

    That’s some seriously weak shit, folks.

    That would be one heck of a slap-fight.

    The “First To Cry Like A Scalded Bitch” countdown-clock better be incremented in milliseconds.

  69. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:15

    Rmoney: The whale oil industry feels like they are being squeezed out by your policies.

  70. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:18

    I think he just called Obama “boy.”

  71. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:18

    Ha ha! Mitt’s sons are crazy liars!

  72. Pupienus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:33

    S McG STOLE the line that I decided not to use. :-|

  73. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:39

    Turned on the debate for three minutes… no, I’m sorry, I just can’t watch. The desire to bludgeon the Ovenmitt to death is just too strong, and this is my landlord’s TV, so I can’t risk breaking it. Back to my episodes of Merlin…

  74. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:44

    Lookout Mittens just opened the door on Medicare! Drink if the name “Ryan” comes up.

  75. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:49

    Mitt’s doing relatively well from a babbling bullshit perspective. I haven’t seen anything crazy yet.

  76. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:52

    DRINK!

  77. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 3:53

    Fuck that, BUTTCHUG!

  78. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 4, 2012 at 4:15

    Did Mittens listen to his opponents in the primaries with that simpering smirk?

  79. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 4, 2012 at 4:17

    News flash: Romney cares about old, sick people.

  80. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 4:18

    This is a tremendously boring debate.

  81. Cerberus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 4:39

    Ugh, salmonella poisoning sucks.

    Fucking peanut butter, man.

  82. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 4:44

    War Criminal Post headline:

    Obama likes ‘Obamacare’

    Well done, guys. This person has to have better than a second grade education.

  83. kg said,

    October 4, 2012 at 4:58

    Wait Cerb are you saying you have Salmonella? Holy shit that’s awful. I had it once when I was a kid. Fucking Jewel sold us some tainted milk back in the early 80s. Hmm, guess it was 1985.

    http://www.about-salmonella.com/salmonella_outbreaks#.UGz6z5jA8qg

  84. stackozone said,

    October 4, 2012 at 5:15

    Romney is appearing to take credit for Harvard, MIT, and Boston U. all being great schools. Also, he will put the middle class back to work in the military!

  85. Cerberus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 5:22

    kg-

    Yeah, it pretty much is. But I’m trying to look on the bright side. For instance, I’ve been mostly conscious today unlike yesterday and there was another possible thing I’ve been worried about that comes with intense abdominal pain that it wasn’t, so…

    Fucking peanut butter, man.

  86. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 5:24

    The most convoluted way to a boar’s ventricle is through his butthole.
    Don’t trip on your own magnificence.
    Don’t cross your own brain.
    Anxiety is not just folding deranged bagels but also standing weirdos.

  87. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 6:09

    They would have voted for Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson if either had ever run for president.

    I would have voted for Al Sharpton pre-MSNBC days. I mean, I thought it was wrong for him not to apologize for the Tawana Brawley thing but I completely understood and respected why he refused to.

    Actually, looking at teh google now, I no longer think Sharpton has anything to apologize for. Anyway, that’s not the point:

    Jesse Jackson, Jesse Jackson, Jr, all his cattle, his wives, his sons, his daughters, his inlaws, his servants, his seed everylasting CAN HAVE MY VOTE WHEN HELL FREEZE OVER.

    Ahem.

  88. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 6:09

    Er, FREEZETH OVER.

    ahem, ahem.

  89. tensor said,

    October 4, 2012 at 6:22

    First Our Crazy Lady of The Dolphins cries out for an “intervention” in the Rmoney campaign, and now Geo. F’n. Will and Krap-(h)anger whine about it on the same day. The shaden is freuding itself here, sheeple!

    So either the WaPo has no fact checkers, Will hasn’t heard about Google, or Will is a lying scumbag. I’ll take door number three, Monty.

    Why did you choose? All three can be simultaneously correct.

  90. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 4, 2012 at 6:24

    I got put up on one of those “creeps of OKCupid sites because of my hat (which is a fucking Trilby by the way).

    I’m going through a really hard time right now and I didn’t need strangers telling me I’m creepy and undatable.

  91. tensor said,

    October 4, 2012 at 6:35

    I’m going through a really hard time right now and I didn’t need strangers telling me I’m creepy and undatable.

    You must be having a tough time, if you have to rely on strangers to tell you that. I am fortunate enough to have friends who do that for me! :-)

    Sorry to read of your troubles, Spear’. We know from your comments here that you have a good sense of humor, and that can be a big help in most kinds of trouble. Good luck!

  92. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 6:58

    Cheerful!

  93. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 7:03

    Spear, maybe it’s a bad photo, but that hat doesn’t seem to fit right. I love fedoras or loved them until that asshole Matt Drudge ruined hats and the GenX swingdance look permanently and forever. Up yours, Drudge! Oh wait, you might enjoy that. Um, um, Get turned down by Alec Baldwin publicly over and over again, like Groundhog Day.

    Can you imagine Matt Drudge and Fucker Carlson trying to have sex? The awkward fumbling, the missed cues, the escalating battle over which bitch man gets to be the top? The big reveal–ring around the collar? hahahahah

  94. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 7:04

    Anyway, Spear, you don’t look creepy to me and you are funny and hats are still awesome. So do not despair.

    You look a lot younger than you sound on the internets.

  95. paperbagmarlys said,

    October 4, 2012 at 7:04

    That hat blog is disturbing. Salmonella is bad. The poetry of Substance McGravitas suddenly clear. You are picking up what I’m laying down, right? One more debate like this and the collective dain bramage at SadlyNo labs is going to drop into fasten your seat belt territory. One more debate like this and you can count on an American Thinker beaker being dropped near the Hipster Dalek pen.

  96. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 7:05

    Did anyone else notice the SMOKING RUIN than was FYWP Balloon Juice tonight?

    Epic.

    Shockingly, stupid-code-script-widget-laden LGF was positively zippy tonight.

    You coulda knocked me over with a feather.

  97. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 7:08

    I mean their server, of course. Me couldn’t think gud tonight.

  98. not a gator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 7:09

    Salmonella was an ass whooping, and I do mean an ASS whooping.

    My reverse peristalsis got a workout too.

    Never clean up old raw chicken contaminated rags in an apt with no air in the summer in florida and drink a soda at the same time, kids.

  99. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 4, 2012 at 8:36

    Fucking Jewel sold us some tainted milk back in the early 80s.

    And I thought she was just a crappy songwriter. Scoundrel!

  100. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 4, 2012 at 8:51

    Fuck all this hipster hat hate. Fedoras are eternal.

  101. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 4, 2012 at 9:27

    I’m going through a really hard time right now and I didn’t need strangers telling me I’m creepy and undatable.

    To hell with them, not-so-old chum. You need to find (or start) a dating site for creative types, and leave the mean kids behind.

  102. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    October 4, 2012 at 12:23

    I will always despise goons, MRAs, unix zealots and other assorted internet wads for destroying the reputation of the Fedora. IT IS THE BEST HAT. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING IT SHORTHAND FOR LOSER.

  103. Major Kong said,

    October 4, 2012 at 13:36

    because of my hat (which is a fucking Trilby by the way).

    I like the hat. In the winter I wear a western style hat – it’s kind of halfway between a fedora and a cowboy hat.

  104. The Creator said,

    October 4, 2012 at 13:45

    Fine, fetid fedora. But its contents in that photo look like The Talented Mr. Ripley.

  105. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 4, 2012 at 14:06

    Even though I hate wearing hats, I pretty much have to wear ‘em because of my glossy bald pate. It’s pretty much baseball cap in the summer, watch cap in the winter- both worn grudgingly.

  106. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 4, 2012 at 14:15

    We have always been at war with Sesame Street.”

  107. Major Kong said,

    October 4, 2012 at 14:26

    I like to wear hats because it turns out the less of my face is visible the better I look.

  108. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 15:44

    Didn’t see that one coming. http://www.usatoday.com/story/gameon/2012/10/03/orlando-cruz-is-boxings-first-openly-gay-man/1612095/

    I imagine all of his defeated opponents’ anguish upon finding out they lost to a fag. Oh yes I do enjoy imagining it.

  109. Exford legs said,

    October 4, 2012 at 15:44

    OKcupid

    Amazing Radiohead album, that.

  110. Pryme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 15:47

    The complete and utter disintegration of the “Saved By The Bell” cast is almost complete. *Sigh*

  111. Butch Pansy said,

    October 4, 2012 at 15:52

    Notagator: No, no! It’s a race to the bottom!

  112. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 15:54

    Butch: No, no! It’s a fight for the bottom!

  113. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 16:05

    Spear, you’re cute as a button, don’t worry about the haters.

  114. Pryme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 16:10

    Oh yeah, link: http://gawker.com/5948756/lark-voorhies-mom-says-she-has-bipolar-disorder-her-writing-says-she-is-obsessed-with-commas

  115. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 16:29

    Pryme, I believe that lady’s thinkerator is bustimicated.

  116. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 16:39

    Wow, reading that makes me worried and sad.

  117. Thread Bear said,

    October 4, 2012 at 16:40

    The complete and utter disintegration of the “Saved By The Bell” cast is almost complete. *Sigh*

    comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, comedienne,
    You, come, and, go, you, come, and, go,
    Loving, would, be, easy, if, your, colors, were, like, my, dreams,
    Red, gold, and, green,,, red, gold, and, green.

  118. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 16:53

    I’ll drink a Blue Moon (SHUTUP)

    i for one like blue moon…and oranges are an excellent source of vitamin c…if it weren’t for limes in my martinis and the occasional corona or blue moon, i would only be able to comment using a fancy-schmancy voice activated device because my bones would be waaaay to brittle to tap on a keyboard…

  119. Pryme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:05

    Helmut,

    I blame Zack. That mutha could freeze time; surely he could have prevented this.

    Seriously, though: between this and the things I’ve read on CDAN, I gotta say life in Hollywood be driving people crazy. If anyone who starts out as a kid or tween doesn’t end up bonkers by 40, it’s a miracle.

  120. Pryme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:07

    Wow, reading that makes me worried and sad.

    I clicked on the Amazon book (and read the first page) because I thought they were stretching a joke about the title. I shouldn’t have.

  121. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:11

    re: teh white guilt…out here we don’t get the black guilt stuff so much as the native murkans…the argument is thus: ‘it happened a long time ago, progress, they kinda sucked at fighting to keep their land so they don’t deserve it, they caved for beads and whiskey, so how smart can they be…oh wait they’re not! also, too…lazy, no good, they hate us, etc…we gave them casinos can they quit their bitching now?’

    i always opine that in the not too distant past, it was fucking national policy to fucking exterminate all native americans…a thing like that would be a bit difficult to get over…especially when fuckheads keep reminding them that we are still perfectly willing to do it again…man, i hate people some times…

  122. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:12

    I’m going through a really hard time right now and I didn’t need strangers telling me I’m creepy and undatable.

    also, too…another reason i hate people…i’m willing to do some junkpunching, spear…

  123. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:16

    I gotta say life in Hollywood be driving people crazy.

    I’m not sure I agree with that. I would say that acting is a career that rewards unhealthy levels of dedication and perfectionism, and has a lot of pitfalls for the desperate attention seekers that work in that environment. It’s a job and a lifestyle that attracts a lot of really flawed people, doesn’t provide a lot of support and gives them all of the tools they need to have really spectacular public breakdowns.

  124. Thread Bear said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:26

    I’m not sure how long I could keep my sanity if I had paparazzi types following me everywhere, waiting for me to do something stupid so they could plaster it all over the magazine covers.

  125. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:28

    so, last night, i watched the debate on teh live stream that politico offered…hubbkf and i were at the coffeehouse where he has his art showing so i couldn’t watch it on teh reglar teevee…also, coffeehouse owner was there and wouldn’t stfu so i missed lots of it…what is mittens planning on doing to big bird?

  126. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:30

    I’m not sure how long I could keep my sanity if I had paparazzi types following me everywhere, waiting for me to do something stupid so they could plaster it all over the magazine covers.

    oh, trust me…you can…after nearly 20 years now in radio, pbs, community theater and high public profile jobs, nearly everyone in the county has a humorous anecdote about my worst/most embarrassing moments…i am sometimes deeply chagrined, though when i realize that every fricking thing i’ve said on-air is floating around space forever and ever…

  127. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:34

    do you know what day it is? also, too…if the people on my radio say “10-4″ and giggle one more time…

  128. Thread Bear said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:36

    what is mittens planning on doing to big bird?

    He’s going to cut funding to public television and npr because we desperately need to funnel that money towards blowing up brown people.

  129. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:39

    He’s going to cut funding to public television and npr because we desperately need to funnel that money towards blowing up brown people.

    oh…well that would really get the economy going AND help with unemployment since hubbk’s job would be quite jeopardized…so, yeah…good plan, mittens…

  130. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:39

    Spear; don’t let that shit get you down. I’ve seen lots of dudes with scraggly beards, horrible clothes, funny hats, birth control glasses and every other horrible thing you can imagine dating some insanely beautiful women.

    Besides, assholes who build and frequent those “undatable” sites are just undatable scum themselves. Remember that you ALWAYS have a huge leg up on the dudebro with the shirtless pics and crooked baseball hat. I’m 43 and single and developing the idea that I’m undatable too. What the fuck ever. The best move I made was deleting my POF account and giving up on the internet trolls that are holding out for that “perfect” man, and all the lying bitches who say they love all the same stuff men love.

  131. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:40

    i meant the economy and unemployment at my house…i need to put down the coffee…

  132. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:42

    Spear; don’t let that shit get you down. I’ve seen lots of dudes with scraggly beards, horrible clothes, funny hats, birth control glasses and every other horrible thing you can imagine dating some insanely beautiful women.

    are you spying on hubbkf and me?!?!?

    also, as tigris mentioned above, spear IS cute as a button…yow…that makes me feel quite cougarish…

  133. Thread Bear said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:47

    It’s really not fair, if an older woman runs around with a younger guy she’s a cougar. If I were to run around with a younger lass I’d just be a dirty old man.

  134. kg said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:49

    I think Neil deGrasse Tyson summed up the whole PBS thing best.

  135. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:52

    on my radio station, we have a buy, sell or trade program called ‘the little red mailbox’…it is a hideous show to have to do every day, but anyhoo, this week there have been kittens to give away…and every time julieann does this one, she’s says ‘to give away…kittens! and then i think of this…

  136. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 17:52

    It’s really not fair, if an older woman runs around with a younger guy she’s a cougar. If I were to run around with a younger lass I’d just be a dirty old man.

    oh, deal with it! you men get everything else, so at least let us have this one little thing!

  137. Thread Bear said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:00

    I suppose if a younger lass was willing to hang out with me I’d manage, somehow, to deal with it.

  138. Major Kong said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:09

    I figure at my age I’m pretty much invisible to younger women.

    The problem was, I was invisible to them when I was younger too.

  139. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:13

    I’m NOT invisible to younger women, and I’ve made some poor choices because of it. I dealt with it and then got dealt with myself.

    Believe me, you’re better off being invisible to them.

  140. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:18

    Why didn’t Obama go for the kill? Why didn’t he hit and hit hard?

    At the very least, Obama needed to respond to Romney blaming him for the partisan atmosphere in DC and also to the committee of 15 people thing. In particular, he could have reminded Romney that private health insurers have these sorts of committees but, unlike the government’s committee, these committees have only one mission — helping insurance companies increase their profit margins. And while Romney can always fire his insurance company (Obama should have reminded people that Romney likes firing people), not everyone is in the position that Romney’s in.

    Also, did ABC “fact check” an Obama statement about Romney’s tax plan and say Obama’s statement was “mostly fiction” because Romney said his plan was fiscally sound? This is reporting how?

    BTW — does Romney also propose to lower tax rates by 20% on capital gains tax as well? If so, he’d be paying (even without any deductions) about 12% as opposed to the 13 or so percent he’s paying now. Obama should have pounced on this with some actual figures (he could have used his own tax returns pointing — well, I’d use Romney’s but Romney hasn’t fully released them yet) to point out that Romney’s plan would result in a tax cut for the rich, which would mean that, in order to be fiscally neutral, middle class taxes would go up.

    Also, who was responsible for the $716Billion Medicare cut? If the Republicans wanted to cut more, Obama should have pointed out that the $716Billion was a bipartisan compromise — and while Romney makes it sound like the GOP wanted to cut nothing, in fact they wanted to cut even more, but I worked to ensure that we were only cutting the fat from Medicare and not cutting any more that would cut the meat out.

    Again — Obama had so many chances to go for the kill. Why didn’t he hit and hit hard? Does he think the game is 11-D chess? Does he think he’s debating at the Harvard forensic society? Doesn’t he realize the game of ‘Murka is football not chess?

  141. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:19

    oh, deal with it! you men get everything else, so at least let us have this one little thing!

    In the dating dynamic, you have a LOT more than you think you do. Married people tend to forget that.

  142. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:20

    As one of the most average looking white guys on the planer, with one of the most average names on the planet (my father is John Smith, my name is no more distinctive) I have found a refreshing anonymity in being invisible. As long as I look like I know what I’m doing, no one looks at me twice.

  143. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:28

    I couldn’t figure out why Obama didn’t blast Romney.

    47%
    Bain
    McConnell saying that their top legislative priority was to make Obama a 1 term president.
    Bill after bill after bill voted down in the House and Senate
    Bill after bill after bill passed in the House to rescind womens’ rights and redefine rape
    Jobs bill killed
    Tax plans that keep the deficit crazy high and build debt while pointing at the deficit and shrieking like a scared 4 year old
    Voter suppression
    Voter registration fraud
    George W. Bush
    Saying the White House “sympathized with the terrorists” after our ambassador and 3 other Americans were murdered in Libya
    “Voodoo” economics
    Repigs LOST the Supreme Court case over Obamacare.
    YOU try working with this POS Congress
    Romney is owned by Tea Party, as evidenced by his statements during the Repig Primary debates
    Romney said we shoulda let GM and Chrysler fail
    Romney called Russia our biggest enemy
    Romney is foreign policy lightweight dope
    Romney has openly advocated for war with Iran, as has most of his party.

    I could do this all day long. Why can’t Obummer?

  144. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:30

    At the very least, Obama needed to respond to Romney blaming him for the partisan atmosphere in DC and also to the committee of 15 people thing.

    right?!!? i was getting pissy over this…i just wanted obama to look at mittens and say, ‘dude, really? have you met mitch mcconnell?’

  145. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:33

    In the dating dynamic, you have a LOT more than you think you do. Married people tend to forget that.

    i meant in the everday world…i KNOW us chicks have the advantage…especially when it comes to getting laid…

  146. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:37

    I know. I don’t think the Couger vs Creepy Old Man is fair trade off for the Slut/Whore vs. Stud bullshit.

    If you’re a cougar and use your powers, you suddenly become a slut too. It’s really a bullshit system. I don’t like it.

    Promiscuity: Ok for me but not for thee. Total crap. It just so happens that I LIKE women who LIKE sex and want to have it often. What the fuck is wrong with that? Nothing, that’s what.

  147. Golem Heart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:38

    I was fired up before the debate, and came away dispirited. That can’t have been Obama’s intent.

  148. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:43

    I was fired up before the debate, and came away dispirited. That can’t have been Obama’s intent.

    i like to think that barry was just keepin’ it classy…

    speaking of keeping it classy…tsam, you are absolutely right…it’s one of those things i’m trying to instill in the young women and men that i work with at school and elsewhere…*shudder* you don’t want to know what high school was like for me…although i believe i once told of a particularly heinous experience i had where the guy was ‘cool’ and i was the slut…because he was a lot older and bigger than me…okay…enough said, let’s change topics, shall we?

    so…what should i drink tonight after work?

  149. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:45

    o gads…there was just an announcement about a sweet little program called ‘being pro-life in 2012′…there will be ‘lunch’ available! shall i go with a batch of freshly baked fetus cookies and do some subtle heckling?

  150. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:51

    so…what should i drink tonight after work?

    Come to Spokane and we’ll crush like 50 Bloody Marys

  151. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:52

    As long as I look like I know what I’m doing, no one looks at me twice.

    “Honey, there’s a strange man using our bathroom!”
    “I saw that, but he looked like he knew what he was doing, so…”

  152. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:54

    Come to Spokane and we’ll crush like 50 Bloody Marys

    okay, for you i will try to get over my hatred of tomato juice-like substances…

  153. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:55

    “Honey, there’s a strange man using our bathroom!”
    “I saw that, but he looked like he knew what he was doing, so…”

    it is a good thing i wasn’t crushing a bloody mary when i read that…

  154. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 18:55

    “Honey, there’s a strange man using our bathroom!”
    “I saw that, but he looked like he knew what he was doing, so…”

    To pull that off I need to use both a worried frown and carry a clipboard.

  155. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:01

    To pull that off I need to use both a worried frown and carry a clipboard.

    Digital camera, calipers, graphing calculator…

  156. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:14

    Hardhat, reflective vest, sensible shoes.

  157. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:20

    Jon’s take on the Tucker/Hannity/Drudge Axis of Fail

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-3-2012/oh-the-spew-hannity

  158. N__B said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:26

    Hardhat, reflective vest, sensible shoes.

    Yes. Wearing a hardhat with face glitter and heels does attract attention.

    What do you mean, how do I know?

  159. Whale Chowder said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:30

    Digital camera, calipers, graphing calculator…

    A doctor’s mirror headband, reflective vest over a lab coat and scuba fins will usually get you a second look.

  160. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:33

    Are we still on butt-chugging?

  161. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:35

    Are we still on butt-chugging?

    have we ever not been?

  162. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:39

    A stranger butt-chugging in my bathroom would garner a second look no matter how much he looked like he knew what he was doing.

  163. N__B said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:42

    Does anyone look knowledgeable while buttchugging?

    Does anyone really know what time it is?

    ooh ooh

    Does anyone really care?

  164. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:52

    Does anyone look knowledgeable while buttchugging?

    Does anyone really know what time it is?

    Can’t… see… wristwatch…

  165. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 19:53

    Does anyone really know what time it is?

    Twenty five or six to four?

  166. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:02

    re: teh white guilt…out here we don’t get the black guilt stuff so much as the native murkans…the argument is thus: ‘it happened a long time ago, progress, they kinda sucked at fighting to keep their land so they don’t deserve it, they caved for beads and whiskey, so how smart can they be…oh wait they’re not! also, too…lazy, no good, they hate us, etc…we gave them casinos can they quit their bitching now?’

    I love how “white guilt,” “reverse racism,” “reparations” and all the other shit they whine about when applied to black people or American Indians… suddenly stops applying when it comes to U.S. Israel relations. We’re all totally expected to have Holocaust guilt and continue subsidizing their economy seventy years after the fact, despite the fact that, you know, we here in America didn’t actually have anything to do with that.

    But God forbid our own sins elicit that kind of response.

  167. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:05

    Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:02

    i never thought about it in those terms…hmmmm…you have given me something to think about…

  168. Pryme said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:06

    so…what should i drink tonight after work?

    “after?”

  169. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:10

    so…what should i drink tonight after work?

    “after?”

    Good catch! I can finally offer some sensible advice. Beer then wine, feeling fine. Beer then liquor, never been sicker.

  170. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:11

    Also liquor then beer, have no fear. Too.

  171. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:15

    Also liquor then beer, have no fear.

    And then I PUNCHED HIM IN THE JAW.

  172. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:15

    Also liquor then beer, have no fear. Too.

    also, too…liquor before beer, you’re in the clear…and such as, i now see my mistake…i shouldn’t have to wait until AFTER work to drink!

  173. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:21

    I love how “white guilt,” “reverse racism,” “reparations” and all the other shit they whine about when applied to black people or American Indians… suddenly stops applying when it comes to U.S. Israel relations. – Chris

    I am a Red Sea pedestrian who tends to support Israel (and US/Israel ties), but I too have noticed this. Of course the subtext of this is the fear that we Jews may start to feel guilty about the displacement of Palestinians resulting from Israel’s creation.

    Oddly, though, you could make the argument that Israel’s creation would be equivalent to establishing a Native American state in the middle of the US. Funny, though, many who are strongly pro-Israel, as you point out, would say “what’s done is done, let’s move on … and certainly they shouldn’t steal our land to make a state of their own” if the natives of this land would have tried to do here what we Jews successfully did in Israel.

    Of course, there is plenty of hypocrisy to go around. How opposition to a movement rooted in socialism and actually dealing with an oppressed group of displaced indigenous people became a sine qua non of a certain strain of leftism is something I find a bit odd (although I understand the history of it). But let’s stick to common ground here and just bash Mitt instead!

  174. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:25

    ” if the natives of this land would have tried to do here what we Jews successfully did in Israel.

    oh jaysus! there’s enough butthurt with the casinos and the free and easy living on the rez…and don’t forget about the sovreignty!

    But let’s stick to common ground here and just bash Mitt instead!

    say, i like the cut of your jib, young man! also, too i want to shake the hand of whoever came up with ‘money boo boo’

  175. Thread Bear said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:27

    i want to shake the hand of whoever came up with ‘money boo boo’

    Shouldn’t that be Rmoney Boo Boo?

  176. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:38

    Come to Spokane and we’ll crush like 50 Bloody Marys

    Free Bridgeport beer samples and $3 pints across the street starting at 3:00…

    And they’ll even have bottles of Coors Light for tsam.

  177. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:39

    And they’ll even have bottles of Coors Light for tsam.

    Adolf’s fave!

  178. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:40

    How opposition to a movement rooted in socialism and actually dealing with an oppressed group of displaced indigenous people became a sine qua non of a certain strain of leftism is something I find a bit odd (although I understand the history of it).

    The mechanics of how Zionism went from being a left wing to a right wing pet project I’ve always found weird too. But I can definitely endorse a “fuck Romney” platform.

  179. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:49

    I think people really thought Zionists were pioneers.

  180. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:51

    But I can definitely endorse a “fuck Romney” platform

    not “literally” right?

  181. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:51

    I can definitely understand* George Will is so concerned about the treatment the white race receives, I mean after the government did secret chemical testing in his rich white Georgetown poor black St. Lous neighborhood in the ’50s and all. It’s no wonder he’s bitter.

    *not intended as a factual statement.

  182. Whale Chowder said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:51

    How opposition to a movement rooted in socialism and actually dealing with an oppressed group of displaced indigenous people became a sine qua non of a certain strain of leftism is something I find a bit odd (although I understand the history of it).

    Hang on, I’m not convinced that “opposition” is precisely accurate here. Recognizing that the Palestinians deserve to be able to live their lives without having Jewish settlements built in the Occupied Territories isn’t the same thing as “pushing the Jews into the sea.” A two-state solution needs to include two viable states, not one superior and the other a cripple.

    I’ve never heard anyone on the left go further than that.

  183. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 20:53

    not one superior and the other a cripple.

    I’ve never heard anyone on the left go further than that.

    you’re right…that sounds like the colonialism the right is so eager to return to…

  184. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:03

    The mechanics of how Zionism went from being a left wing to a right wing pet project I’ve always found weird too. – Chris

    Short answers (IMHO): (i) left wingers tend to have more sympathy for the underdog and right-wingers tend to support the people on top — once Israel’s survival was a given, and Israel went from being a victim of Arab aggression to being an occupying power. left wingers were no longer interested and right-wingers began to like Israel, (ii) the soteriology of J. Darby and (iii) the Dulles brothers ensuring Nasser, et al, would walk into the loving arms of the Soviets (and similar strategery by the brothers Dulles)

  185. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:06

    Free Bridgeport beer

    FREE BEER?? YES!

  186. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:10

    I’ve never heard anyone on the left go further than that.

    There’s always been an element of anti-Semitism in the left. The last time I heard a “Jews control the media” line was when I was talking with an activist at the playground one summer day. I got pissed.

  187. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:14

    “Adolf’s fave!”

    Godwin violation! You lose. Neener Neener!

  188. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:17

    There’s always been an element of anti-Semitism in the left. S McG

    Not to get all victim-blamy and such, but I myself wince whenever I hear someone with a Jewish name and/or a big supporter of Israel take wankerific views on economic issues. I am sure that one of the biggest “hasbarah” (PR) things Israel could do would be to get some of its “supporters” to shut up.

  189. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:19

    I am sure that one of the biggest “hasbarah” (PR) things Israel could do would be to get some of its “supporters” to shut up.

    Pam Geller is a perfect spokesperson for any cause.

  190. tigris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:19

    “Adolf’s fave!”

    Godwin violation! You lose. Neener Neener!

    He meant Loos.

  191. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:27

    He meant Loos.

    He’s the shit house troll?

  192. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 21:44

    Isreal could try not electing ultra right wing warmongers that stamp and cry when everyone else doesn’t want to jump in and fight with Iran. Might help if they’d quit expanding those settlements God gave them.

  193. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:01

    He’s the shit house troll?

    I am the shit-moat troll!!!

  194. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:01

    The mechanics of how Zionism went from being a left wing to a right wing pet project I’ve always found weird too. – Chris

    Of marginally normal right wingers. The far right wingers (xenophobes, racists, etc…) fucking HATE Zionism. It’s one of their rallying concepts, despite the fact that few, if any of them, has a fucking clue what any of it means.

  195. Whale Chowder said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:02

    Isreal could try not electing ultra right wing warmongers that stamp and cry when everyone else doesn’t want to jump in and fight with Iran.

    It might also help if the slightest criticism wasn’t met with cries of antisemitism.

  196. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:05

    This is a good time to point out that Pamalamadingdong likes to pal around with nazis, and not the fake American kind but good all fashioned Yurpeen Nazis.
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/33462_Pamela_Geller-_Poster_Girl_for_Eurofascists

  197. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:06

    The far right wingers (xenophobes, racists, etc…) fucking HATE Zionism.

    It really depends. Some of the people who are xenophobes and racists are relying on Armageddon, and you need Israel for that.

  198. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:12

    Yes, you have the Pat Buchanan/David Duke wing and then you have the Religious Right Wing who loves them the Netenyahoos albeit perhaps to hasten the End Times where all the non Jesus believing Jews have to die, “Sorry but God’s will and all”

  199. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:12

    It really depends. Some of the people who are xenophobes and racists are relying on Armageddon, and you need Israel for that.

    Aren’t the middle right guys in for the Armageddon shit and the far right neo fascists out to finish the job Hitler couldn’t? That was my understanding of it, though using classical logic to try to understand creepy, cryptic superstitions is a pretty futile endeavor.

  200. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:13

    Yeah, like gocart said..yeah.

  201. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:13

    Pat and David . . . and Ron Paul?

  202. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:18

    In any case, what the kooks left and right need are symbols that stand for Jews and Arabs. Really sucks when you have to think they’re real people and all that.

  203. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:22

    the Dulles brothers ensuring Nasser, et al, would walk into the loving arms of the Soviets (and similar strategery by the brothers Dulles)

    Fucking hate these guys. Maybe even more than Kissinger, who at least had the China thing to redeem himself.

  204. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:38

    Aren’t the middle right guys in for the Armageddon shit and the far right neo fascists out to finish the job Hitler couldn’t? That was my understanding of it, though using classical logic to try to understand creepy, cryptic superstitions is a pretty futile endeavor.

    I remember reading about how this sparked a conflict all the way back in the 1948 presidential election, when Truman was facing that little insurgency from Strom Thurmond’s faction. Israel had just been created, and on that subject the Dixiecrats embraced the Ku Klux Klan party line – Christ-killers, Protocols of Zion, international banking conspiracies, yadda yadda. Truman responded by turning Israel into a wedge issue, saying “read your Bibles, the Jews are God’s chosen people, it’s our duty to support them.” Apparently, it paid off, at least to some extent. Nowadays Truman’s views is the official position of “mainstream” Christian fundamentalists, while the Strom Thurmond crowd’s gone in for something called Christian Identity.

    Don’t know any people from the latter group, but I know quite a few fundiegelicals and all of them are 100% in the tank for Israel (more so than for America, in fact). Whether it’s because they want an end times human sacrifice or not is anyone’s guess, but in the time I hung out with them I don’t remember ever hearing a single bad word about the Jews. And they were not shy about shitting on other religious groups – Catholics, Mormons, other Protestants, Hindus, Buddhists, and all the time, Muslims. But for the Jews, nothing. Not necessarily the most representative group of fundies out there, but it struck me just the same.

  205. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:43

    It might be just, uh, verboten subject matter. It’s not like the gospel of John is rah-rah in favour of Jews or anything.

  206. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:46

    Fucking hate these guys – Chris on the Dulles Brothers

    A couple of months ago some DC Pundit type was opining about how Eisenhower had a good foreign policy but his domestic policy was not so good. All I could think of was “you are against the federal government actually taking a stand, albeit a tepid one, on civil rights and the interstate highway system, but you think the Dulles brothers were a-ok? now that says all we need to know about the punditocracy, now, doesn’t it?”

  207. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:54

    “It might be just, uh, verboten subject matter”

    You said “verbotin” Godwin violation!! You loooose.

  208. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 22:55

    A couple of months ago some DC Pundit type was opining about how Eisenhower had a good foreign policy but his domestic policy was not so good. All I could think of was “you are against the federal government actually taking a stand, albeit a tepid one, on civil rights and the interstate highway system, but you think the Dulles brothers were a-ok? now that says all we need to know about the punditocracy, now, doesn’t it?”

    I did not read that at the time, and I’m glad. Oy.

    The incomprehensible thing about those two clowns is, okay, you overthrew three democratically elected leaders (Iran, Guatemala, Zaire) because they were threatening Western business interests… that’s par for the course, a return to the pre-Good Neighbor days, to be expected from a Republican administration.

    But then, they go on to side with Nasser – an actual socialist dictator with aggressive intentions towards Israel – in 1958? WTF? Not that I’m rooting for the other side of that war, but really, of all the times to turn third worldist? You won’t do it for Mossadegh, but you’ll do it for Nasser? Mind = blown…

  209. gocart mozart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:05

    On point

    ‘DULL, DULLER, DULLES’
    http://www.nytimes.com/1986/07/13/books/dull-duller-dulles.html

  210. Major Kong said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:07

    Don’t know any people from the latter group, but I know quite a few fundiegelicals and all of them are 100% in the tank for Israel (more so than for America, in fact).

    They like Jews just so long as they’re in the Middle East hastening the Rapture.

  211. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:14

    But then, they go on to side with Nasser – an actual socialist dictator with aggressive intentions towards Israel – in 1958? WTF? – Chris

    But you also (after engaging in all sorts of dirty tricks and other low-minded techniques) get suddenly high-minded about not trying to out-bid the USSR when it comes to the competition for influence with people like Nasser (and to a lesser extent Castro, although I guess it was more of a forgone conclusion that Cuba would be a Soviet satellite).

  212. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:17

    They like Jews just so long as they’re in the Middle East hastening the Rapture. – Major Kong

    In my (recent — things have changed a bit since I was a kid 20+ years ago when, at least out west, the fundies were a bit more explicit in their dislike of the idea that we Christ-killers hadn’t come around to believing in the big JC) experience, the fundies are a-ok with Jews. They just don’t like liberal, non-Christian Hollywood elitists and the like. Of course, my fellow Members of the Tribe who only know evangelical types from their support of Israel don’t get what the code of “liberal, non-Christian Hollywood elitists” is all about.

  213. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:18

    Isreal could try not electing ultra right wing warmongers that stamp and cry when everyone else doesn’t want to jump in and fight with Iran.

    We should try that too, someday.
    ~

  214. tsam said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:26

    We should try that too, someday.
    ~

    No shit. that would be a nice change of pace, wouldn’t it? That wasn’t meant to be finger-pointing. We could use some of that pretty much world-wide at the moment. I don’t know what it is that makes world leaders so fucking bloodthirsty and power mad. This is why they should have a kill-switch on their office chairs, and the control switch in my living room. Hit switch, trap door, pool full of SHARKS and legos to step on.

  215. Major Kong said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:26

    Isreal could try not electing ultra right wing warmongers that stamp and cry when everyone else doesn’t want to jump in and fight with Iran.

    It’s kind of like having a little loud-mouthed friend who’s always picking fights with bikers and expecting you to jump in and back him up.

  216. bbkf said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:29

    It’s kind of like having a little loud-mouthed friend who’s always picking fights with bikers and expecting you to jump in and back him up.

    hey! i’ve only done that once…

  217. DAS said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:36

    It’s kind of like having a little loud-mouthed friend who’s always picking fights with bikers and expecting you to jump in and back him up. – Major Kong

    In all fairness to said friend, the bikers started it by trying to keep him from moving to his old house that some of the bikers had occupied for quite some time.

    Of course, said friend not only insists on picking fights with bikers because “well, the bikers threatened me, so what else could I do?” but also says, when you try to give him the advice to stop picking those fights claims “a true friend wouldn’t tell me to stop picking fights — a true friend would stand by me no matter what”.

  218. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:38

    But you also (after engaging in all sorts of dirty tricks and other low-minded techniques) get suddenly high-minded about not trying to out-bid the USSR when it comes to the competition for influence with people like Nasser (and to a lesser extent Castro, although I guess it was more of a forgone conclusion that Cuba would be a Soviet satellite).

    If they’d tried to outbid the USSR in Iran, Guatemala and Zaire, they might have gotten the support of the local government and, given that those were elected governments, a stable relationship with the country rather than just one man. But that, of course, would be socialism, so instead we took over from Britain in Iran, from Belgium in Zaire and went back to being our old selves in Guatemala.

    In my (recent — things have changed a bit since I was a kid 20+ years ago when, at least out west, the fundies were a bit more explicit in their dislike of the idea that we Christ-killers hadn’t come around to believing in the big JC) experience, the fundies are a-ok with Jews. They just don’t like liberal, non-Christian Hollywood elitists and the like. Of course, my fellow Members of the Tribe who only know evangelical types from their support of Israel don’t get what the code of “liberal, non-Christian Hollywood elitists” is all about.

    I remember reading a quote from a Jew saying “They don’t love the real Jewish people. They love us as characters in their story, in their play, and that’s not who we are. And we never auditioned for that part, and the play is not one that ends up good for us.” Sounds about right…

  219. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:44

    The media is awash this morning in stories noting the numerous deceits, dissemblements, hypocrisies, fabrications, deceptions, dissimulation, and duplicity on dis[play last night. What do we get from CNN? Obama accuses Romney of dishonesty in debate

    Here, CNN, let me give you a hand:
    “Obama calls out Rmoney’s dishonesty.”
    “Obama notes Romney’s many lies.”
    “Obama correctly says Romney is a lying liar.”

    Fuck CNN.

  220. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:48

    Romney is now running against Bill Clinton Please, Plouffe, Axelrod and gang, pick that up and fucking use it.

  221. Golem Heart said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:53

    So it looks like Mitt’s gonna keep saying “trickle-down government.” I wonder if he likes the phrase, and/or the campaign tested it?

    Whatever the case, it’s face-palmingly stupid. I should know not to try to make sense of it, but wouldn’t money trickling down onto the masses from the government just be another form of trickle-down economics? Is that the implied critique–that Obama wants to take all the money and make you dependent not on wealthy job-creators but on government programs?

    Trickle-down government would mean something like decision-making power being partially, carefully doled out to the citizenry, without undermining the ruling class. Trickling-down is always purposeful, done with the tricklers’ interests in mind, and it never leaves their bladders less than 90% full. So who’d want trickle-down economics, or anything, but wannabe serfs and aspiring sycophants?

    I dunno, but I conclude there’s not much Obama or anyone can say about this phrase, because it may work but there’s nothing to unpack. It’s for idiots of the deepest dye.

  222. Chris said,

    October 4, 2012 at 23:55

    I don’t know what it is that makes world leaders so fucking bloodthirsty and power mad.

    Impunity. America’s a superpower, nuclear arms, a military that’s in a class of its own, no rivals or anything to restrain us anymore. Israel, of course, has invulnerability-by-association in the knowledge that America will always bail them out. There’s basically no penalty for going ape-shit. So we do.

    I have a private theory, completely nonscientific, that quite a few of the criminals in the concentration camps weren’t even antisemites, just people who were put in a position where they could do anything they wanted to other human beings with no repercussions, and of course, started enjoying themselves doing exactly that. (The actual sadists start it, the rest of the guards go along with it because they don’t want to look like they’re soft on Jews… etc).

    “Power corrupts.”

  223. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:08

    We should try that too, someday.

    I have no expectation that we’ll ever have a foreign policy that makes any kind of sense, regardless of who’s in charge of it. As discussed above, most of history proves that — and that also includes right now and very recent history.

    Are you a Muslim country that hates us, but has nukes? “Hi! You’re my bestest friend! We might bomb you only a little bit, ok? Just a bit, honest. We mean nothing by it, really! We’ll send money and stuff too though, along with the occasional, very friendly, bombing, that’s just how we roll. Oh, and you’ve been harboring some of our arch-enemies? Meh, no big deal — here, have some cash and just a tiny little bit more bombing for your trouble. No really, we insist.”

    Are you a Muslim country that hates us, and wants nukes? “DIE ENEMY SCUM!!!!! Well, by ‘die’ we mean — and don’t take this the wrong way — some sanctions? Maybe? And some talking? Yeah, talking! Take that! We might even talk about bombing! Boooooo! Scared yet? We’re gonna really start talking to you after the election, you just wait ’til dad gets home!”

    I mean combine our completely and utterly inconsistent actions along with our utterly batshit insane political commentary on the subject, and it’s no wonder the world thinks America is fucking bonkers. Throw a ridiculously oversized military in the mix and they’re scared shitless too.

    But where’s the outrage about this shit here? Yeah, there are a tiny number of people on the left pissed at Obama for being horrible on this, just like we were mad at his predecessor. And his, &c. There are a few more people on the right equally pissed that we haven’t started bombing everybody in sight. Nobody else even notices — oh, look, the game’s on! — and in general the media and citizenship seem to like it that way.

    That fucking sucks.

    Shorter me: I have no fucking idea what to do about this and it doesn’t seem possible to change. And voting for Rmoney, even by proxy, still seems like a really fucking terrible idea.

  224. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:15

    Is that the implied critique–that Obama wants to take all the money and make you dependent not on wealthy job-creators but on government programs?

    I’d rather depend on a professional bureaucracy that actually sees it as its job to deliver services to the public than on the “job creator” who’s explicitly using it to control you.

    (The entire point of the New Deal programs was that all citizens had access to them regardless of who they were,* as opposed to the earlier days when public assistance was something the local robber baron or machine boss doled out on a whim and could take away from you if you set a toe out of line. Which more than anything explains why the wingnuts want it done away with. You can’t be allowed to have any recourse other than to come crawling to your local feudal lord when you’re in trouble).

    *With exceptions intentionally written in for Southern blacks, but desegregation eventually took care of that too.

  225. Golem Heart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:21

    “quite a few of the criminals in the concentration camps weren’t even antisemites”

    That’s certainly the case. Every antisemite is deeper down a person with certain psychological issues. All the talk about jews is a surface-level thing, entirely flimsy, built up around projection and the need to hate some other. The notion of somebody having that body of ideas but not the accompanying pathology is laughable. The reverse, however, is common (hate with a different object and hatelore).

  226. tigris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:27

    So it looks like Mitt’s gonna keep saying “trickle-down government.”

    Is he using it as a pejorative? Because it strikes me he couldn’t have any honest complaint about “my sort gets all the power and any excess bit we can’t use gets used by the little people under us.”

  227. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:37

    That’s certainly the case. Every antisemite is deeper down a person with certain psychological issues. All the talk about jews is a surface-level thing, entirely flimsy, built up around projection and the need to hate some other. The notion of somebody having that body of ideas but not the accompanying pathology is laughable. The reverse, however, is common (hate with a different object and hatelore).

    Good to know.

    And I guess the proof of that is in the fact that overt antisemitism’s become unacceptable in our world, but the same prejudices applied to Muslims, immigrants, blacks or what-have-you are still all over the place.

  228. Golem Heart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:39

    Chris said,
    October 5, 2012 at 0:15

    I agree on all points. I’ve gotta lay off analyzing what “trickle-down government” could mean. What it means is that conservatives are determined not to think about the political and economic models they’re demanding. Being deeply concerned about dependency on government programs under a representative democracy implies much graver concerns about dependency under a plutocracy … unless you think that democracy is hopeless, and you see terrific masters to serve and lessers to torment.

  229. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:44

    Privates are signs of Odin’s opportunity.
    It’s not who we delight that shows us up, it’s who we don’t delight.
    The gin is out there.
    The tumbler is out there.
    The most ambitious way to a guardian warrior’s throat is through her lung.

  230. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:50

    So I been thinkin. Among all the talk of Mittens putting Big Bird on a stick to roast and eat I haven’t seen much discussion of just why he brought that up. I’m sure he rehearsed it and I also think it played well to his base. In the end though, I see it as a mistake. For one thing I doubt it played all that well with the few undecideds that he needs to reel in. They watched Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers or their kids did/do. Sesame Street is hugely popular. Then too, his mission last night was to appear Presidential, and try to become a tolerable if not empathetic person. Being a mean bully, gloating about eating Kermit legs persillade, endeared him to no one.

    I’ll bet cash money he and his advisors thought it was a great idea. They are all tunnel visioned sociopaths who really do not have a clue as to how most people view the world.

  231. wiley said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:59

    Spearafoc, you young people have no idea how beautiful you are. You could wear this hat and your face would be no less lovely.

    May the perfect mates for those character assassins always be wearing a fedora.

  232. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 5, 2012 at 0:59

    I’m feeling really pissy about the debate and am up for a serious thread derail, if anyone wants to help. And by “anyone” I mean any of the many Sadlies who are techier than I.

    I have to lead a conference call that will be recorded, then edit the sound file and post it as a podcast. What editing software, if any, is out there at the price my company can afford (zero)?

  233. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:04

    Audacity can do many many things and is fairly obvious to use:

    http://audacity.sourceforge.net/

  234. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:05

    You may have to download extra crap to turn stuff into mp3′s; it’s been a while since I tried it. But it can do wav and aiff, and any mp3-playing software should be able to take care of that.

  235. Golem Heart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:06

    I’ll bet cash money he and his advisors thought it was a great idea. They are all tunnel visioned sociopaths who really do not have a clue as to how most people view the world.

    It is has to be this. Romney can’t or won’t name all the programs he’d supposedly cut. He needs an example, and the choice can do several things. It throws a bone to one group, alienates others, but BOTH begin to extrapolate: “what does this mean about the rest of the list?”

    Ideally,* Romney would name a few things he’d cut, things that’d allow us all to plausibly fantasize that the rest of his axe-list is similar to our own, wildly divergent lists. Citing Big Bird (PBS) doesn’t do that at all. What’s the principle — govt. bad? Sesame Street = Big Hollywood values?

    Obama, on the other hand, diligently tries to give you budget-cutting examples with rationales that you could then extend to other govt. programs, tax breaks, etc.

    *Ideally, he’d explain himself thoroughly, but whatever.

  236. Golem Heart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:11

    AUDACITY has many useful features, and is fun. I found it to be a timesink when I started digitizing my record collection. I would create the digital tracks, then get sucked into fiddling with them in Audacity: trimming, adding fades, noise-reduction, etc. I ended up digitizing very few records.

    You could wear this hat and your face would be no less lovely.

    He could wear that hat on his dick. But seriously, he’s a decent-looking young guy, the trilby implies nothing bad, haters are gonna hate.

  237. wiley said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:23

    Talking about war with Iran should be enough for Romney to lose at this juncture. It’s really very disturbing. Every time I see the possibility mentioned I think about the conversations I had with a Korean War veteran and Viet Nam veterans while I was in rehab. After the first conversation with the veteran of The Forgotten War, I looked it up in wikipedia to see what the death toll was. Next day we were all hanging out again and I said that I was a little surprised about how high the death toll was. In unison, all the Viet Nam veterans said what I was thinking but wasn’t going to say to them, “Yeah. It was a real war.”

    Americans have gotten so use to throwing poor countries against a wall, that they don’t realize that we haven’t even “won” a military conflict since World War II except for Gulf I, which most of the Iraqi military forfeited If we get embroiled in a real war it could be our ruin, though like all our other military operations it would still kill a lot of people in another nation for no justifiable reason.

    We could make a lot of headway, I think, in negotiations with Iran by recognizing their right to use nuclear energy and to hold them to the same standards as any other country instead of demanding that they comply with additional standards just for being them.

  238. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:25

    Sub and GH: Thanks. I’d actually heard of Audacity in a previous job but couldn’t recall it. Probably because my mind is suppressing anything to do with that fucking place.

  239. Golem Heart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:28

    We could make a lot of headway, I think, in negotiations with Iran by recognizing their right to use nuclear energy and to hold them to the same standards as any other country instead of demanding that they comply with additional standards just for being them.

    You’re right, but if I know Iran, they’d ruin it by mentioning that there is a country, name starts with “I”, that has all kindsa nukes, didn’t follow the rules-n-standards, and so on.

  240. Whale Chowder said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:33

    If we get embroiled in a real war it could be our ruin

    Fuck, the two little pissant things we were most recently embroiled in have taken us pretty damned close to the edge.

  241. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 1:33

    I thought it was kinda stupid of him to tell a guy who has a show on PBS that he was going to end his job. That’s the old Bain guy right there. Sorry, I like your show, but you’re not worth the pittance of an investment our nation puts into you.

  242. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 2:10

    You’re right, but if I know Iran, they’d ruin it by mentioning that there is a country, name starts with “I”, that has all kindsa nukes, didn’t follow the rules-n-standards, and so on.

    But India is our friend!

  243. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 2:19

    Expedia commercial you MUST watch because it is just..way so incredibly awesome

    Might make some of you cry.

  244. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 2:20

    Expedia commercial without tag FAIL

  245. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 2:47

    Wiley – I blame the all volunteer force, which is to say, the fact that we the people haven’t really had to pay the price for a war since Vietnam.

    I would also say the fuckups of Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq should in any rational society get us to reevaluate whether the massive military machine we’ve had since 1945 is really worth what we’re paying.

  246. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:01

    Eisenhower, that crazy Republican, did question all that after Korea. 60-some years ago. Nobody listened to him.

  247. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:02

    Watch my video goodammit!

  248. Major Kong said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:10

    I almost cried.

  249. N__B said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:13

    I almost cried.

    You Creed?

  250. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:27

    Speak of the devil! Class reading for this week: “Terror In The Mind Of God.” First chapter: religious terrorism in America, specifically Christian fundamentalism and Christian Identity. That was well timed.

  251. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:46

    One more vote for Audacity. It’s great software with excellent features. The latest versions have been easy to install and use, even for mp3 files. Wholeheartedly endorsed from this snob.

  252. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:49

    Hey, you hosers.
    .

  253. Major Kong said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:54

    Take off eh!

  254. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:54

    Thanks for the vid link tsam, it’s not quite tear jerking, but still good. Almost makes me like Expedia. Almost.

  255. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 3:57

    I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch the debate or read the transcript, but so far my favorite debate-related comment is that “Romney won’t do anything about wall street but he’ll take on Sesame Street.”

  256. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:09

    To pull that off I need to use both a worried frown and carry a clipboard.

    You’d be amazed how far that will get you in the backflow inspection business.
    .

  257. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:26

    CNN = UNSKEWED!

    Shorter M$M: Bambi is landing brutal blows! Wow! Godzilla is reeling! This IS a horserace, damnit! BELIEVE, you fucking peasants, BELIEVE!

  258. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:45

    Speak of the devil! Class reading for this week: “Terror In The Mind Of God.” First chapter: religious terrorism in America, specifically Christian fundamentalism and Christian Identity. That was well timed.

    You obviously hate America.
    .

  259. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:45

    Shorter M$M: Bambi is landing brutal blows! Wow! Godzilla is reeling! This IS a horserace, damnit! BELIEVE, you fucking peasants, BELIEVE!

    Yeah, no shit. WTF debate were they watching? I saw Romney forcefully telling the same lies over and over, and Obama patiently trying to correct him.

  260. Just Alison, who can't be buggered thinking of something clever to write said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:51

    I know as a Skip I’m late to the party and all, but Spear, you look like a pot full of sex as far as I can see, and you’re chock full of wit, so those petty whiners can bite me.

    And hope your bad times get better soon.

  261. Just Alison, who can't be buggered thinking of something clever to write said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:53

    Oh and BBBB, from the laster thread – that song’s the one from the “Bong and Bang” scene, isn’t it?

  262. eddie said,

    October 5, 2012 at 4:57

    “I WANT TO MARRY SHIRLEY MANSON, PLEASE.” – Tsam

    You’ll have to improve your taste in beer first. :-)

  263. Smut Clyde said,

    October 5, 2012 at 5:15

    Spearhavoc, I found you a hat.

  264. stackozone said,

    October 5, 2012 at 9:15

    Romney was out to show us who he is, and his bizarre claim that his five sons are all liars, and that he REALLY likes to fire people, even people holding interviews for his own job, AND the fact that while he may “Like” someone, or something, these “feelings” in no way affect his decision to get rid of you. That combined with his ability to twist around inside one sentence so much that he ended up sucking his own PENIS, may have won him the debate, but I think won’t end up sitting well with the majority of voters.

    There, I said it: PENIS.

  265. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 9:21

    Controversies are the celebrated kangaroos of crackers.
    Boobs are the contemptuous bloodthorns of dialectics.
    Skins are signs of Vishnu’s poetics.
    Don’t torment your own test.
    The hoohoo is out there.

  266. Stackozone said,

    October 5, 2012 at 11:35

    The hoohoo is out there.

    Don’t beat around the bush! Give it to me straight!

  267. Pere Ubu said,

    October 5, 2012 at 12:05

    Morning, moonbats.

    One problem with the new job – getting up at 5:00 in the morning. I IZ NOT MORING PRSON KTHX

    so I will leave you with this brief rant afore my morning ablutions

    “Clearly in a campaign with hundreds if not thousands of speeches and question-and-answer sessions, now and then you are going to say something that doesn’t come out right,” Mr Romney said.

    “In this case I said something that’s just completely wrong. I absolutely believe, however, that my life has shown that I care about 100%… When I become president, it will be about helping the 100%.”

    NO. No no no no no no no no no no FUCKING NO

    You don’t get to do this, Smiler. You fucking said just after the 47% comment came out that you didn’t regret it because it wasn’t anything you hadn’t been saying all along. No. You might have appeared assertive and confident Wednesday night, but I’m sure Ted Bundy looked all kinds of confident to his “dates” just before the knife came out and he went to work.

    No. You didn’t have a goddamn change of heart in the last 3 weeks. “Care about 100%”, my ASS. You goddamn care about 100% of the VOTE, you lying sociopathic shit.

    I’m still really, really hoping the American people are smart enough to see through your Combine fog machine. I have my doubts, though – the precedent doesn’t look good. Maybe it’s time to start learning the words to “O, Canada” just in case.

  268. Major Kong said,

    October 5, 2012 at 13:07

    One problem with the new job – getting up at 5:00 in the morning. I IZ NOT MORING PRSON KTHX

    On a really good schedule I might just be on the ground and on my way to the hotel at 5:00 AM. Sometimes it’s closer to 9:00 AM.

  269. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 5, 2012 at 15:16

    The Expedia commercial made me tear up.

  270. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 16:05

    You didn’t have a goddamn change of heart in the last 3 weeks.

    To be fair, he’s flip-flopped on every other possible position in the world (sometimes more than once). But that video actually seemed like something that came from his “heart.”

    (Although to be fair again, I suspect the percentage of Americans he doesn’t give a shit about is much higher than 47%).

  271. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 5, 2012 at 16:10

    I absolutely believe, however, that my life has shown that I care about 100%…

    … of the profit?
    … of my family?
    … of the bond traders on Wall Street?

    Dude got rich buying companies, driving them bankrupt and firing their workforce. He’s not going to sell that he cares about “everybody”.

  272. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 16:12

    Butt-chug wine
    go to my head
    Makes me pretend I
    Sure ain’t no fag

    Butch-chug wine
    It’s up my ass
    Alli can do I’ve done
    Plastic tube pumps
    Plastic tube pumps

    I’d have sworn that with time
    Thoughts of you
    Would leave my head
    I was wrong
    Now I find
    Just one thing makes me forget

    Butt-chug wine
    Flow into me
    Don’t let me be sober
    It’s flowin so fast
    In my red red ass

  273. Golem Heart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 16:16

    It’s been said that Obama chose not to bring up Mitt’s 47% problem in order to deny Mitt an opportunity to deliver his scripted apology during the debate. Mitt wasted no time making that “100%” statement Thursday, no doubt in the same language he would have used on Wednesday, given the chance … Well, he could have raised the issue himself during the debate.

  274. Mitt Romney said,

    October 5, 2012 at 16:24

    No apologies! I never apologize!

    Except, you know, when I accidentally let slip how I really feel about my fellow Americans, in which case I walk that shit back with a quickness.

  275. Pryme said,

    October 5, 2012 at 16:47

    Romney copies Reagan in more ways than one.

  276. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 17:09

    Dude got rich buying companies, driving them bankrupt and firing their workforce. He’s not going to sell that he cares about “everybody”.

    The problem is that conservatives have fooled themselves into thinking that you don’t have to care about anybody, just lower taxes and “the rising tide rises all boats”. It’s been a discredited economic theory since mankind figured out that there is a theory besides “FUCK THE POOR”, but the priveleged never want to let go of their power and wealth, and there is always a large contingent of undereducated meatheads who buy into the “good old days” bullshit. It’s a pretty good racket for the rich motherfuckers. Conservatives see a callous lack of empathy as sign of strength. That’s why people seem to revere assholes like Donald Trump, Lee Iacocca, the Rockefellers, Gates, et al…

  277. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 5, 2012 at 17:18

    Yeah, there’s something to that, I guess. Somebody who’s completely drunk the “job creator” Kool-Aid can convince himself that all that firing and bankruptcy was good, because then all those people can go find better jobs; or because every dollar in Romney’s bank account is another dollar he can invest in job creation; or whatever bullshit they tell themselves so they can shave in the morning.

    Still, though, I don’t think 100% of the electorate has internalized that message yet. Life is not alt.fan.libertarianism, no matter how much the wingnuts wish it were.

  278. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 5, 2012 at 17:39

    Still, though, I don’t think 100% of the electorate has internalized that message yet. Life is not alt.fan.libertarianism, no matter how much the wingnuts wish it were.

    Some people won’t get that message until HR herds them into the biggest conference room and lets them know their jobs got shipped to India and they have 10 minutes to put all of their personal effects in a box , hand in their IDs and get their butts out to the parking lot.

  279. Whale Chowder said,

    October 5, 2012 at 17:41

    Some people won’t get that message until HR herds them into the biggest conference room and lets them know their jobs got shipped to India and they have 10 minutes to put all of their personal effects in a box , hand in their IDs and get their butts out to the parking lot.

    It’s the same mindset that allows people to drive without seatbelts or ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The bad shit always happens to someone else, not me.

  280. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 17:59

    Still, though, I don’t think 100% of the electorate has internalized that message yet. Life is not alt.fan.libertarianism, no matter how much the wingnuts wish it were.

    It says something when after thirty two years of Reaganism, “raising taxes on the rich” is still the preferred solution of the American public when it comes to fixing the current clusterfuck of an economy.

    Don’t know how much that extends to other parts of their economic gospel, but a lot less people buy it than they think. The average American isn’t a movement conservative, no matter how much they might say or wish otherwise. And given how often they’ve preached that gospel in between racial slurs, that number isn’t going to be rising.

  281. Chris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 18:04

    Some people won’t get that message until HR herds them into the biggest conference room and lets them know their jobs got shipped to India and they have 10 minutes to put all of their personal effects in a box , hand in their IDs and get their butts out to the parking lot.

    And when that happens, you’ll still get people blaming Obama for forcing the company to fire them, or better yet, for allowing it to happen, who’ll then run out and vote for the Ovenmitt to teach that Kenyan usurper a lesson.

  282. tsam said,

    October 5, 2012 at 18:35

    Some people won’t get that message until HR herds them into the biggest conference room and lets them know their jobs got shipped to India and they have 10 minutes to put all of their personal effects in a box , hand in their IDs and get their butts out to the parking lot.

    OMFG TAXES LIBERALS REGULATIONS IMMIGRANTS GAYS BLACKS AFFIRMATIVE ACTION MUSLIMS DEFICIT UNIONS TEACHERS ACORN SOROS ABORTION TYRANNY

    Each moron has his/her own spectrum of stupid. The LAST people they seem to ever place blame on in is a bunch of multi-millionaires who claim the company has to lay them off while they continue to collect multi-million dollar salaries and outsource jobs and hand out bitchin stock dividends. This is what happens when pensions are a bygone concept and everyone NEEDS the stock market to perform if they wish to survive a year past retirement. You care about the stock market, you don’t care about workers (Watch a company’s stock price when they anounce 5-digit numbers of pending layoffs). You care about the stock market because your IRA or 401k are all buried somewhere in it. You care about workers because you are one. Heads they win, tails you lose. Mix that with both Dumbocrats and Repigs training the crosshairs on Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, any aid to families whatsoever, and you get an awfully bleak picture of the future–at least for a 43 year old like me.

  283. Hogeye Grex said,

    October 5, 2012 at 18:43

    Note to Mitt: Do not fuck with Big Bird.

  284. vacuumslayer said,

    October 5, 2012 at 18:48

    Some blogwhoring Friday silliness.

  285. vacuumslayer said,

    October 5, 2012 at 18:49

    Shit just got real.

  286. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 5, 2012 at 18:56

    That totally could be a production still from the next Muppet movie: “The Muppet Reservoir Dogs”.

  287. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:02

    Get it in the can!

  288. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:05

    Bosses are the pregnant red evil archdragons of feelings.
    The most competitive way to a woman’s nose is through her liver.
    Motif is not just tormenting parasitic punks but also mugging countesses.
    Employers are signs of God’s standardization.
    Don’t trip up over your own ventricle.

  289. vacuumslayer said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:16

    The most competitive way to a woman’s nose is through her liver.

    TRUE. Everybody compete to buy me drinks. And I might just give the winner a little over-the-nose action.

  290. DAS said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:17

    that quite a few of the criminals in the concentration camps weren’t even antisemites, just people who were put in a position where they could do anything they wanted to other human beings with no repercussions, and of course, started enjoying themselves doing exactly that. – Chris

    Wasn’t this even the case with some of the higher-ups? Heck Eichmann who was the frickin’ architect of the Holocaust as it actually unfolded wasn’t even particularly sadistic/psychopathic nor was he even particularly anti-Semitic (or at least no more so than your typical Christian Zionist — Eichmann’s first plan also was to get the Jews out and to Israel).

    Of course, c.f. Arendt’s famous work on Eichmann as well as the Stanford prison experiment, etc. So, sorry — it’s not exactly an unscientific, private theory of yours.

    I went to school with Andrija Artukovi?‘s grandson. I never met Andrija Artukovi? myself (or if I did, the occasion did not stand out in my mind), but his family didn’t seem at all anti-Semitic or racist, and from what I know the guy was a pillar of our democratic society and got along with everyone regardless of creed or national origin.

    Apparently in the environment where it was normative to be a violent racist, he rose to the top of his society being a violent racist and anti-Semite. But in an environment where racism was at least considered un-PC and not something to admit to too openly, he was a complete non-racist, non-anti-Semite and all around nice guy.

  291. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:22

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrija_Artukovi?

    Let me fix that link for ya.

  292. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:23

    Well fuck.

  293. tigris said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:25

    TRUE. Everybody compete to buy me drinks. And I might just give the winner a little over-the-nose action.

    Cheapest nose job in town! But stand back when that thing blows.

  294. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:36

    Well fuck.

    Fixxorificated?

  295. DAS said,

    October 5, 2012 at 19:41

    Pupienus Maximus, I guess if people really want to know about the grand-father of a good friend of a former saxophonist of Reel Big Fish, they could just google Artukovic or something. But it does go to show that teh internetz are part of the grand punk-ska fascist conspiracy.

  296. Thread Bear said,

    October 5, 2012 at 20:38

    I did not see the debate, I have only seen little bits and pieces. But from what I have sen it looks like Romney has a lot of new positions. He’s going to cut corporate welfare, he’s not going to lower taxes for the rich, he’s going to provide health care for everybody, etc. etc. It appears to me that the Mittster has won the debate by going to the left of Obama. The great news for Romney is that this will not bother his a base a bit. A: They already know what a liar he is and B: he’s not a N—-R muslem.

  297. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:12

    Soul-creation technology:

    Japanese researchers have coaxed mouse stem cells into becoming viable eggs that produce healthy offspring. The work provides a powerful tool to study basic elements of mammalian development and infertility that have long been shrouded in mystery.

    Since stem cells can be found in your fat, you big fatties, dieting is now prohibited.

  298. El Manquecito said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:22

    I hesitate to actually recommend it because of the searing images it contains but ‘The Kindly Ones’ is a brilliant look at what ordinary SS monsters were driven by. Serious fiction about serious events, horrifying and affecting.

  299. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:24

    There’s always Lifton’s cheery The Nazi Doctors.

  300. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:45

    I have a private theory, completely nonscientific, that quite a few of the criminals in the concentration camps weren’t even antisemites, just people who were put in a position where they could do anything they wanted to other human beings with no repercussions, and of course, started enjoying themselves doing exactly that. (The actual sadists start it, the rest of the guards go along with it because they don’t want to look like they’re soft on Jews… etc).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

  301. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:48

    ‘The Kindly Ones’

    There’s always Lifton’s cheery The Nazi Doctors.

    No review of the literature would be complete without an examination of Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS

  302. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:56

    In The Nazi Doctors there’s a lot about how everyone in the camps drank and drank and drank. They were normal people doing abnormal things, mostly, and even if you buy the Nazi party line and you’re generally authoritarian it takes some stunning cruelty and/or a lot of chemical assistance to help out with what was going on, let alone Mengele’s program.

  303. Pryme said,

    October 5, 2012 at 21:57

    I wanna say that this is a piece of paper and not a hankie, but I’m honestly not sure. So at best he’s just sneaky, at worst he’s a cheater (on top of being a liar).

  304. Hogeye Grex said,

    October 5, 2012 at 22:13

    No way a hankie is that stiff.

    Well, one way, but eeew.

  305. Pryme said,

    October 5, 2012 at 22:23

    Shorter Fox News: all that potential Halloween shopping explains the mysterious increase in jobs and phantom drop in unemployment.

    Long Live the Great Pumpkin!

  306. DAS said,

    October 5, 2012 at 22:24

    I wanna say that this is a piece of paper and not a hankie, but I’m honestly not sure. So at best he’s just sneaky, at worst he’s a cheater (on top of being a liar). – Pryme

    But, but … Obama uses a teleprompter ( / GOoPer )

  307. Neca Falk said,

    October 5, 2012 at 22:30

    Banane!

  308. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 5, 2012 at 23:41

    Here is a new kook to me:

    How did we get to where we are in our culture and our politics today? I have wondered this since Obama took office and started exacting his socialist agenda on our great country. There is plenty of blame to go around—complacency, greed, laziness, apathy. I submit that churches may not have caused the problems we have today, but certainly could have curtailed the advancement of tyranny. In my work (my book and The Dr. Gina Show), I have laid out the way that some cowardly pastors have tolerated their flocks’ apathy, greed, complacency and laziness, and that only the pastors have the ability to cause a revolution of the greater congregation to make real change.

    Some pastors have been brave enough to rise up and do exactly that. This weekend is “Pulpit Freedom Sunday” in churches across the country. Pastors in pulpits across the country will not only endorse candidates from the pulpit, but will also send the tapes of the services directly to the IRS. Now that’s bold!

    She is Dr. Gina Loudon and the item is entitled Pastor to Taunt IRS Over Free Speech.

    Tyranny never warns a country that it is coming. Those falling into the grip of tyranny never know until it is too late. Hitler’s Germany loved the free stuff he was giving away, on their way to the gas chamber. The churches were silent; afraid. As a result, millions died and Europe has lost its faith, and surrendered its freedom. With that comes poverty, every time. Our founders knew that, and that is why they included this special freedom from the state, for our churches.

    Patriots, will you stand with me, and challenge your pastors to join with us this Sunday? Are you willing to part ways with your pastor if he is one of the gutless? Are you willing to answer to your children when they ask you why you didn’t rise up and defend their freedom when it is gone? There are still a couple of surviving victims of the Nazi Holocaust alive who might be able to prep you for that conversation, if you are too afraid to act now.

  309. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 23:44

    DICKS

  310. gocart mozart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 23:48

    I heard this interview on NPR yesterday. Colbert’s take on what S. McG’s crazy person is advocating:

    http://www.npr.org/2012/10/04/162304439/colbert-re-becoming-the-nation-we-always-were

    On the separation of church and state

    “We have this idea in our minds that there’s this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics — not just church and state, but it’s also there’s a separation of religion and politics. But of course there isn’t. Every president says, ‘God bless America’ at the end of the State of Union address. And everybody, every candidate is quoting some form of the Old and the New Testament in speeches to try and make their own moral points.

    “But we don’t think of … a preacher or priest or rabbi or imam, for that matter, endorsing from the pulpit. And I was fascinated by the idea that these guys were going to force the issue, because they’ve done this for five years — this isn’t the first year they’ve done it. Now they’re videotaping it and sending it to the IRS, to just try to poke the hornet’s nest of the IRS and say, ‘Please take us to court.’ Because they’re trying to get this forced into a court case, because they think they can win.

    “And I, after some thought and talking about it with my writers, I think they’re right. … I think they should be able to endorse from the pulpit. Now whether or not they should get tax-exempt status is another thing, because that is the rest of us subsidizing their political speech. …

    “I think they should be able to do it, but I also think that it’s a very dangerous thing to do — not just for our politics, but it’s also dangerous for the faith of people who are exercising that right. Because they seem to think that it’s a one-way membrane — that they’ll get religion into our politics. But they’re ignoring the fact that politics will come right back through that gate onto our religion.

    “And if you actually have a political party that is this religion, or a political party that is that religion, I think that’s a short road to the kind of religious civil war — whether or not it’s actually an armed war — but religious civil war that we fled in Europe. America has avoided that. And I think our politics are so horrible these days. … Why anyone would want that horrible tar on something as fragile as faith is beyond me.”

  311. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 5, 2012 at 23:50

    She is Dr. Gina Loudon and the item is entitled Pastor to Taunt IRS Over Free Speech.

    Does she have a doctorate in Godwin’s Law from Liberty University?

  312. gocart mozart said,

    October 5, 2012 at 23:52

    Does she have a doctorate in Godwin’s Law from Liberty University?

    I think they hand those out free at Tea Party events.

  313. tigris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:16

    I have laid out the way that some cowardly pastors have tolerated their flocks’ apathy, greed, complacency and laziness

    Does this mean preaching against the rapaciousness of wealth or against the scraps thrown to the “entitled” poor? I wonder.

    And good God, is she really comparing losing a tax deduction to the Holocaust? Christ.

  314. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:19

    I get lousy service every time I visit Liberty’s Newark campus.

  315. Golem Heart said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:20

    Hitler’s Germany loved the free stuff he was giving away, on their way to the gas chamber.

    Wait … who? what?

    Stuff like this pisses on the graves of the dead.

  316. Smut Clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:22

    Hitler’s Germany loved the free stuff he was giving away, on their way to the gas chamber. The churches were silent; afraid. As a result, millions died and Europe has lost its faith, and surrendered its freedom.

    Apparently a wilful ignorance of actual history is no obstacle to contributing columns to Clownhall. I am SHOCKED.

  317. bbkf said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:29

    fyi: being a photographer’s ass is HARD…

  318. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:30

    bbkf: hard ass.

  319. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:32

    I have a private theory, completely nonscientific, that quite a few of the criminals in the concentration camps weren’t even antisemites, just people who were put in a position where they could do anything they wanted to other human beings with no repercussions, and of course, started enjoying themselves doing exactly that.

    In his notes to The Deputy, Rolf Hochhuth says that many Auschwitz inmates could just have easily been guards or torturers themselves, had circumstances given them the power.

    In The Nazi Doctors there’s a lot about how everyone in the camps drank and drank and drank.

    A line from The Deputy: “No thanks, I don’t need a drink—I’m off duty.”

  320. Smut Clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:33

    Europe has lost its faith, and surrendered its freedom

    This provides a useful excuse to link to this story –
    http://blogs.reuters.com/faithworld/tag/germany-catholic-bishops-church-tax-protest-scandal-abuse-vatican/
    – in which German Catholics are found opting out from the default “church tax” system (in which certain authorised religions can piggyback on the state tax mechanism to extract money from their members), and in response, the Pope declared that they will face excommunication.

  321. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:33

    Wait … who? what?

    Nobody remembers the free Hitler bobbleheads?

  322. tigris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:38

    fyi: being a photographer’s ass is HARD…

    Huh, it looks pretty easy

  323. Smut Clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:38

    Wait … who? what?
    I went to Buchenwald and all I got was this stupid tote-bag and a ballpoint pen stamped with ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’.

  324. Smut Clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:39

    fyi: being a photographer’s ass is HARD…
    Time for the coin test.

  325. Chris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:39

    I have laid out the way that some cowardly pastors have tolerated their flocks’ apathy, greed, complacency and laziness

    One thing I noticed hanging out with fundiegelicals in college was that you’ve got part of the flock that actually tries to live up to the batshit code, and then you’ve got a whole other part that couldn’t care less – they drink, they smoke, they have sex, they do all the things a conservative Christian shouldn’t do, but it’s all behind a wink and a nod and a “don’t tell the pastor.” Being part of the Christian Tribe matters to them, but nothing else does.

    The whining about “apathy, complacency and laziness” in the American Christian community is a recurring theme, and I figure at least part of it comes from the above. The pastors know it’s happening, but there’s nothing they can do about it; even if they know who the naughty people in their flock are, what are they going to do? Throw them out of the church? “Evangelical church membership reduced by more than half in stunning purge!” Yeah, that’s going to make them look really good in front of the higher ups who want to know how they’re bringing in more sheeple to be fleeced.

    So they go on whining like this character just did, because it’s literally all they can do.

  326. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:40

    Free ZykonBallons for the kids!

  327. Chris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:41

    So, sorry — it’s not exactly an unscientific, private theory of yours.

    Well, it was completely unscientific as long as it was coming from me. Glad to know someone else has gone to the trouble of proving that it’s true.

    In his notes to The Deputy, Rolf Hochhuth says that many Auschwitz inmates could just have easily been guards or torturers themselves, had circumstances given them the power.

    I believe it. Lots of people could.

  328. tigris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 0:54

    One thing I noticed hanging out with fundiegelicals in college was that you’ve got part of the flock that actually tries to live up to the batshit code, and then you’ve got a whole other part that couldn’t care less – they drink, they smoke, they have sex, they do all the things a conservative Christian shouldn’t do, but it’s all behind a wink and a nod and a “don’t tell the pastor.” Being part of the Christian Tribe matters to them, but nothing else does.

    And then you’ve got people who think voting Republican absolves them from all that social justice crap, which is what I bet she’s saying. She doesn’t give a damn about people who knit blankets for poor preemies, or build houses in Haiti, or work as public defenders, if those people vote for Democrats they are apathetic, complacent, and lazy. Also greedy because TAXES.

  329. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:03

    There is even an ASCII penis in the ‘sample output’ section,

    Awesome.

  330. Chris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:08

    And then you’ve got people who think voting Republican absolves them from all that social justice crap, which is what I bet she’s saying. She doesn’t give a damn about people who knit blankets for poor preemies, or build houses in Haiti, or work as public defenders, if those people vote for Democrats they are apathetic, complacent, and lazy. Also greedy because TAXES.

    Oh yeah. They love people who go knit blankets and built houses. Honestly, it’s adorable, those people are soooo sweet, like those guys who rescue cats stuck in trees or work in animal shelters. Bless their hearts.

    But as you say, now try and actually go beyond that, and… “when I feed the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why there are poor people, they call me a communist.”

  331. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:10

    I went to Buchenwald and all I got was this stupid tote-bag and a ballpoint pen stamped with ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’.

    Buchenwald was one of the few that did not have the phrase on the gates or what have you. At Buchenwald the motto was “Jedem das Seine” – everybody gets what they deserve.

    I always liked the Auschwitz ashtray souvenirs.

    (It’s not often one gets to be the pedant with SC)

  332. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:13

    I remember reding Art Buchenwald’s column in the paper. I never thought he was very funny.

  333. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:13

    Reading, too.

  334. Golem Heart said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:36

    In his notes to The Deputy, Rolf Hochhuth says that many Auschwitz inmates could just have easily been guards or torturers themselves, had circumstances given them the power.

    Viktor Frankl’s first-hand account (now available as a free PDF, I see) describes such matters in detail:

    “This story is not about the suffering and death of great heroes and martyrs, nor is it about the prominent Capos—prisoners who acted as trustees, having special privileges—or well-known prisoners. Thus it is not so much concerned with the sufferings of the mighty, but with the sacrifices, the crucifixion and the deaths of the great army of unknown and unrecorded victims. It was these common prisoners, who bore no distinguishing marks on their sleeves, whom the Capos really despised. While these ordinary prisoners had little or nothing to eat, the Capos were never hungry; in fact many of the Capos fared better in the camp than they had in their entire lives. Often they were harder on the prisoners than were the guards, and beat them more cruelly than the SS men did. These Capos, of course, were chosen only from those prisoners whose characters promised to make them suitable for such procedures, and if they did not comply with what was expected of them, they were immediately demoted. They soon became much like the SS men and the camp wardens and may be judged on a similar psychological basis.

    It is easy for the outsider to get the wrong conception of camp life, a conception mingled with sentiment and pity. Little does he know of the hard fight for existence which raged among the prisoners. This was an unrelenting struggle for daily bread and for life itself, for one’s own sake or for that of a good friend.”

  335. El Manquecito said,

    October 6, 2012 at 1:46

    “Jedem das Seine”

    And here I always thought that meant ‘throw ‘em in the river’.

  336. Golem Heart said,

    October 6, 2012 at 2:03

    For now I leave the reader to guess what strikes me about this passage. A seasoned prisoner has just snuck into Frankl’s quarters, and is offering advice to the newcomers:

    “But one thing I beg of you,” he continued, “shave daily, if at all possible, even if you have to use a piece of glass to do it … even if you have to give your last piece of bread for it. You will look younger and the scraping will make your cheeks look ruddier. If you want to stay alive, there is only one way: look fit for work. If you even limp, because, let us say, you have a small blister on your heel, and an SS man spots this, he will wave you aside and the next day you are sure to be gassed. Do you know what we mean by a Moslem? A man who looks miserable, down and out, sick and emaciated, and who cannot manage hard physical labor any longer . . . that is a Moslem. Sooner or later, usually sooner, every Moslem goes to the gas chambers. Therefore, remember: shave, stand and walk smartly; then you need not be afraid of gas. All of you standing here, even if you have only been here twenty-four hours, you need not fear gas, except perhaps you.” And then he pointed to me and said, “I hope you don’t mind my telling you frankly.”

  337. Golem Heart said,

    October 6, 2012 at 3:16

    Alright then. Here’s a fun novelty song, courtesy of 30 Rock:

    Werewolf Bar Mitzvah
    Spooky, scary
    Boys becoming men
    Men becoming wolves

  338. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 6, 2012 at 3:23

    Note to Mitt: Do not fuck with Big Bird.

    You talkin’ to me?

  339. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 3:58

    Time to pimp a meowing cat.
    .

  340. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 6, 2012 at 4:18

    We’re all totally expected to have Holocaust guilt and continue subsidizing their economy seventy years after the fact, despite the fact that, you know, we here in America didn’t actually have anything to do with that.

    Well, the vast majority of we here in America didn’t.

  341. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 6, 2012 at 4:49

    One problem with the new job – getting up at 5:00 in the morning. I IZ NOT MORING PRSON KTHX

    The solution to that is to sleep as soon as you get home from work, then wake up around midnight and surf the web until you need to leave for work. Don’t get up early, stay up real, real late.

  342. Golem Heart said,

    October 6, 2012 at 4:57

    “The solution to that is to sleep as soon as you get home from work, then wake up around midnight and surf the web until you need to leave for work. Don’t get up early, stay up real, real late.”

    My problem with all this is I don’t understand what Major Kong can get away with while flying a load of chickens in the middle of the night.

  343. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 5:06

    My problem with all this is I don’t understand what Major Kong can get away with while flying a load of chickens in the middle of the night.

    I do understand what he can get away with. But the chickens told me in the strictest confidence.
    .

  344. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 6, 2012 at 7:13

    A Fox News graph about unemployment.

    Notice how the graph has 9.4% and 9.5% on the same level. Notice that there’s a second 9.4% that’s lower on the graph than the first one, and a 9.1% that’s higher than the second 9.4%.

    Obviously this is a work of Dadaist art.

  345. John Revolta said,

    October 6, 2012 at 7:48

    I’ve seen these sorts of things on Fox graphs before. I can only assume that they’re kindly employing some poor old sod who isn’t all there, or Sarah maybe, to do ‘em.

  346. smut clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 8:43

    I’ve seen these sorts of things on Fox graphs before
    All part of a cunning plan to send Edward Tufte insane.

  347. another kiwi said,

    October 6, 2012 at 10:12

    Well obviously it’s an aspirational graph! One that Fecks would like to have not the one that there actually is. D’uh.

  348. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 13:36

    Edward Tufte isn’t already insane?

  349. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 14:09

    Had a sex dream about Daniel Craig last night. Wow, thanks, subconscious. No, really.

  350. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 14:37

    vs does not buttchug said,
    October 6, 2012 at 14:09

    Had a sex dream about Daniel Craig last night. Wow, thanks, subconscious. No, really.

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  351. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 14:49

    Ah, I’d love to have pics!

  352. Lurking Canadian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 14:52

    I’m sure we would all settle for a reenactment in which the role of Mr Craig was played by a Teddy bear.

  353. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 14:58

    I do understand what he can get away with. But the chickens told me in the strictest confidence.

    The chickens lie! Don’t believe them!

  354. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 15:05

    My problem with all this is I don’t understand what Major Kong can get away with while flying a load of chickens in the middle of the night.

    1. Get to hotel around 7:00 AM
    2. Turn air conditioner to “meat locker”. Turn fan from “auto” to “on” for white-noise generator.
    3. Use clothes pins to seal the drapes so searing laser beam of sunlight doesn’t come through.
    4. Place extra towels or pillows at bottom of door to block sound.
    5. Earplugs

    If you’re lucky you might just sleep until 1:00 PM but Noon is more common.

  355. vacuumslayer said,

    October 6, 2012 at 15:38

    In this scenario I’m the cash register.

    OK, that’s an exaggeration. The movie in my head just got to the kissin’ part. It was enough.

  356. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 15:44

    Could one of you brave lasses or lads click the vid? I’m too askeert

  357. Golem Heart said,

    October 6, 2012 at 15:56

    Right, Major, but while you’re flying the plane, all you can do is stare at dials? How does one pass the time?

  358. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 16:07

    Right, Major, but while you’re flying the plane, all you can do is stare at dials? How does one pass the time?

    On a short flight (an hour or so) we’re busy most of the time.

    We have to change radio frequencies and check in with Air Traffic Control as we pass through the different sectors.

    If there are thunderstorms we’re busy trying to work around them.

    30-40 minutes from destination we’re checking the destination weather, calculating the landing data and briefing the arrival and approach procedures.

    On a long flight we often turn the bright lights on in the cockpit, which simulates daylight and tricks the body into thinking it should be awake.

    Other than that we drink coffee, eat (we get food on long flights) and talk to pass the time.

    The longest flight we do in the 757 is Memphis to Edmonton which takes 3.5 hours or so.

  359. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 16:10

    The “Night Freight Simulator” -

    Tape a picture of an airplane cockpit to your bathroom wall and sit there staring at it from 3:00AM to 7:00AM with a night-lite on and the fan running.

  360. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    October 6, 2012 at 16:43

    Then have someone fire a goose at you through a cannon.

  361. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 16:59

    Then have someone fire a goose at you through a cannon.

    Almost hit one while landing at Toronto/Pearson one morning. Would have made a big mess.

    I’ve hit plenty of small birds, but they don’t usually do much damage.

    Going through a whole flock of geese is what put that US Airways jet into the Hudson a while back.

    A similar and less happy incident killed an Air Force E-3 AWACS up in Alaska a few years ago. They hit a flock of geese, lost two engines on one side and couldn’t climb over the terrain with what they had left.

  362. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 18:17

    Let’s step up our game, over here.
    .

  363. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:09

    Geese: they’re not just flying bowels, they’re a threat to our way of life.

  364. Chris said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:21

    Geese: they’re not just flying bowels, they’re a threat to our way of life.

    Geese like these, and their avian allies, constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world.

  365. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:25

    They also poop all over the bike paths. Very annoying.

  366. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:29

    They also poop all over the bike paths. Very annoying.

    Flying that low scares the chickens. Something else they told me.
    .

  367. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:36

    Keep calm and go shopping.

  368. vacuumslayer said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:47

    Nobody’s watched the video of the old man and the Obama oral sex song? Geez, what do I pay you people for?

    I am taking my medication for the first time tonight. I’m so paranoid about side effects my stomach is in knots and I’ve been crying half the morning. I guess I’m desperately searching out distractions.

  369. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:59

    Keep calm and go shopping.

    That used to work before the 1% had control of all the money. Now, nobody gotz no moneez to go shoppin’.
    .

  370. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 19:59

    I am taking my medication for the first time tonight. I’m so paranoid about side effects my stomach is in knots and I’ve been crying half the morning. I guess I’m desperately searching out distractions.

    Did I miss something?
    .

  371. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:12

    I am taking my medication for the first time tonight. I’m so paranoid about side effects my stomach is in knots and I’ve been crying half the morning. I guess I’m desperately searching out distractions.

    Hey VS, don’t be scared. It only feels really weird the first day. You’ll be fine after that.
    I recommend taking it first thing in the morning rather than at night.

  372. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:12

    Nobody’s watched the video of the old man and the Obama oral sex song?

    I did. Now, I must plot my revenge.

    Geez, what do I pay you people for?

    I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. While technically, a Hardee’s napkin with all the info scribbled in orange crayon can be a legal instrument, my bank assures me there is no ABA routing code, “LULZ!!ONE!1!” It has too many characters, for one.
    .

  373. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:17

    Just fantasizes about splattered gore and keyboard parts on the front of a locomotive.

  374. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:21

    here, VS, look at this.

  375. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:22

    I got tickled, and clicked on dood’s “Obama Flag” video. Something about the Illuminati, two stripes over three meaning Antichrist (’cause 2/3 = 0.666!), and ALSO something about the rainbow flag.

    If you were captivated (as I was) and watched until the end of dood’s cute ditty, you would have seen the text “Vote Republican!” in, um, a rainbow of colors.

    Two wetsuits and a microphone, anyone?
    .

  376. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:25

    here, VS, look at this.

    Putin sure was a hottie back in the 1960s, eh?
    .

  377. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:26

    Oh yeah? Well your bank is STOOPIT, JP.

    Thanks for the encouragement, tsam. God, I need it.

  378. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:27

    October 6, 2012 at 20:21

    here, VS, look at this.

    Holy lord. I’ll be in my bunk.

  379. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:28

    Oh yeah? Well your bank is STOOPIT, JP.

    Boy Howdy, are they!

    They’re still giving me Vanderbilt Free Checking, and I haven’t worked for Vanderbilt in over four years!
    .

  380. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:31

    Thou hast mine email shoudst thou need

  381. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:32

    You speak LARPer, yes?

  382. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:34

    Thanks, tsam. Yer da best.

  383. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:35

    Speak LARPER?i am dressed as a jester as I write this.

  384. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:35

    Thanks for the encouragement, tsam. God, I need it.

    Wait. What?

    I went back several threads… oKAY.

    Should be no big deal, but these thangs are highly-individualized. Works great for me, hopefully for you, too (since it’s really cheap, being off-patent). But if not, call the doc. They’ll swap you onto something else to try. Lots of weapons in that arsenal. I said “arse.” Tee-hee.

    Side-effects: For me, it messes up the water balance in my bowel for the first few days, and getting a hard-on requires a crane and photos of DKW’s mom. But all that subsides within a week or so. From there on out, THERMONUCLEAR ORGASMS that take hours to achieve (but worth it). :)
    .

  385. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:38

    JP thanks SO MUCH for weighing in. I feel loads better.

  386. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:42

    JP thanks SO MUCH for weighing in. I feel loads better.

    As dumbass as that sounded, it’s all true… for me. For you, it may be different. Don’t sweat the side effects profile, though… most people have few-to-none, and those who do have some side effects, they usually dissipate quickly, and they’re not terrible to begin with (and if you hit the lottery like I did with the THERMONUCLEAR ORGASM thang, you’ll want to take it JUST for the side effect). :)
    .

  387. tsam said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:44

    Weird. I get a hardon just thinking about certain things. I’m also extremely horny most of the time.

  388. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 20:52

    Psychologically, the effects (for me) are very subtle. It seems to just make me think more clearly and more constructively, and not dwell on the downside of every situation. It kindly allows my natural optimism to break the plane, as it were.
    .

  389. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:02

    Again, thanks, JP. You have no idea how comforting it is to know not to sweat the side effects.

  390. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:09

    You have no idea how comforting it is to know not to sweat the side effects.

    I say unless you have a side effect that is really intolerable give it a week or two, as it will likely subside or go away altogether. If not, call the doc. They’ll try you on something else (and it really is a bit random… trial and error, finding the “right fit” for the individual).
    .

  391. vacuumslayer said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:14

    I’ve taken Paxil and Zoloft before and seemed to tolerate them ok. Then again, I’m more screwy now.

  392. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:18

    I’ve taken Paxil and Zoloft before and seemed to tolerate them ok.

    Oh, you probably have nothing at all to worry about, then.
    .

  393. smut clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:39

    On a short flight (an hour or so) we’re busy most of the time.

    Whose job is it to demonstrate the emergency procedures to the chickens?

  394. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:46

    Whose job is it to demonstrate the emergency procedures to the chickens?

    The colonel.
    .

  395. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 21:50

    Weird. I get a hardon just thinking about certain things. I’m also extremely horny most of the time.

    There’s a term for that. I believe it’s called “Being a guy”.

  396. another kiwi said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:05

    Whose job is it to demonstrate the emergency procedures to the chickens?

    “You’ll see the emergency eggsits on both sides of the plane”

  397. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:31

    In case of fire, please keep calm and remain delicious.

  398. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:33

    In case of fire, please keep calm and remain delicious.

    The colonel approves.
    .

  399. vacuumslayer said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:37

    In case of fire, please keep calm and remain delicious.

    At BEST, I am fatty and bland.

  400. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:39

    Anyone who calls VS schmaltzy will answer to the wrath of tsam!

    Oh wait…

  401. vacuumslayer said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:45

    Hey, you can call me a matzo ball if you want. I’ve never had one. For all I know, it’s a huge compliment.

  402. Yoop said,

    October 6, 2012 at 22:57

    “You’ll see the emergency eggsits on both sides of the plane”
    As god is my witness, I thought…
    (NO, you canNOT cry fowl!)

  403. Major Kong said,

    October 6, 2012 at 23:10

    A Captain once asked me what temperature we should keep the chickens at.

    I said 350 for about 45 minutes works pretty good.

  404. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 6, 2012 at 23:20

    A Captain once asked me what temperature we should keep the chickens at.

    I said 350 for about 45 minutes works pretty good.

    And that’s when they made YOU the colonel!
    .

  405. N__B said,

    October 6, 2012 at 23:45

    If Kal El is superman and Jor El is superman’s father, is Colon El the Kentucky anus branch of the family?

  406. smut clyde said,

    October 6, 2012 at 23:51

    “You’ll see the emergency eggsits on both sides of the plane”
    Remain calm. Do not run around like headless –
    OK, carry on.

  407. Pere Ubu said,

    October 7, 2012 at 0:34

    Colon El

    A notorious buttchugger.

  408. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 7, 2012 at 0:50

    I heard the planet Krypton’s attempt at buttchugging is what caused it to explode.

  409. John Revolta said,

    October 7, 2012 at 1:00

    It seems there’s this girl, vacuumslayer
    In her dreams she’s a bit of a player
    While dressed as a jester
    She let spy guys molest her
    She might even let a bricklayer

  410. paperbagmarlys said,

    October 7, 2012 at 1:21

    Read “the emergency eggshits” and was, um, thinking something else. Not George Will.

  411. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 1:26

    Nobody’s watched the video of the old man and the Obama oral sex song?

    The subtitles were enough for me. I didn’t have the stomach to watch it with the sound on.

  412. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 7, 2012 at 1:27

    I didn’t have the stomach to watch it with the sound on.

    Oh, but you MUST.
    .

  413. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 1:31

    I will eventually. I’ve seen the dude’s work before. His closet door has more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese.

  414. paperbagmarlys said,

    October 7, 2012 at 1:58

    You are welcome. I just read the last month of Mike Adam’s Townhall columns so you don’t have to. His crazy level was mostly in the Todd Akin range, but there are a few ripe blueberries and bananas here and there. A few gentle samples:

    “We have more nuclear weapons than we need. Let’s start reducing our national debt by selling those arms to Israel. Let’s have a dollar special on nuclear weapons and allow the Israelis to buy up to half of our nuclear arsenal. After we withdraw from the region, someone will have to keep the peace.”
    http://townhall.com/columnists/mikeadams/2012/09/17/of_mitts_and_muslims/page/2

    “After giving the baby up for adoption, Jane moved on with her life. She thinks of the rape only when she sees Mitt at the grocery store, the post office, or at church. The situation is bad. But it has never crossed her mind to lobby for a change in the law that would allow for Mitt’s execution by lethal injection much less brutal dismemberment. That would not make sense. Where would it all end?”
    http://townhall.com/columnists/mikeadams/2012/08/28/romney_and_the_rapist/page/2

    “Oops! They already have Deaf Studies. But why is there no CSUN Blind Studies program? And why isn’t this in their vision statement!”
    [That awful essay is titled Diversity and Catatonic Schizophrenia. I admit, the title is pretty good.]
    http://townhall.com/columnists/mikeadams/2012/09/28/diversity_and_catatonic_schizophrenia/page/2

  415. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:03

    Bagoas likes to eat the goose poop.

    Windy Ridge was very windy today!

  416. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:04

    That’s Mt. St. Helens, btw. What’s left of it, that is.

  417. paperbagmarlys said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:13

    So call me a glutton….

    In his Zombie video, the old man who sings R-train refers to himself as the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Prophet of the End Times.

    See also: http://onlyinamericablogging.blogspot.com/2011/07/interview-with-william-tapley-third.html

  418. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:22

    This could be kicky. We’ve been invited to the preview of Beau Breedlove’s … thing. This is the guy who, as an underage legislative intern, seduced our Mayor Sam Adams (no relation) thereby causing a BIG STIR. No one knows where he’s getting the money so speculation is rampant.

    http://www.oregonlive.com/dining/index.ssf/2012/08/beau_breedlove_plans_vie_a_fre.html

    It’s within walking distance so we’re going to check it out this evening.

  419. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:28

    Or as a friend put it in another context, “So deep in the closet, he has a time-share in Narnia.”

  420. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:29

    That was in reference to Third Eagle boy.

  421. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:31

    Let’s have a dollar special on nuclear weapons and allow the Israelis to buy up to half of our nuclear arsenal.

    I can’t imagine how that could possibly go wrong.

  422. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:42

    Oh no, did everybody get run over by the R-Train?

  423. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 7, 2012 at 2:47

    Oh no, did everybody get run over by the R-Train?

    Playin’ poker with idiots.
    .

  424. paperbagmarlys said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:28

    I’m starting to warm to the R-train guy’s title “Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Prophet of the End Times”. It’s pretty cool though it does raise questions. Is Jesus the other Co-Prophet? Cheney maybe? Also, who are the second and third eagles?

  425. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:31

    Don Henley? Joe Walsh?

  426. tigris said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:38

    Sam the Eagle.

  427. N__B said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:39

    Merv Griffin.

  428. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:47

    Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs.

  429. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:51

    Jack Sparrow.

  430. bughunter, back to lurking, mostly, because his Egyptian guests are monopolizing all of his time said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:55

    Youze guyz have a lot of gull…

  431. bughunter, back to lurking, mostly, because his Egyptian guests are monopolizing all of his time said,

    October 7, 2012 at 3:56

    Oh, and also. Civ V Gods and Kings?

    It Rocs.

  432. Golem Heart said,

    October 7, 2012 at 4:16

    Civ V Gods and Kings?

    I was a big Civ IV guy, but somehow V hasn’t clicked for me yet. Maybe it’s the one-unit-per-hex change.

  433. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 7, 2012 at 4:39

    Once again, the Ducks uniforms send me into fits of epilepsy.

  434. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 7, 2012 at 4:45

    Well, everybody’s heard about the bird.

  435. N__B said,

    October 7, 2012 at 5:00

    Some people have even flipped over the bird.

  436. Yoop said,

    October 7, 2012 at 5:43

    Bird is The Word.

  437. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 7, 2012 at 6:35

    SHUTUPandletsomeonegetawordinedgewise!
    ‘.

  438. Yoop said,

    October 7, 2012 at 8:16

    Papapapapaoomowmowpapaoomowmow…
    There’s one.

  439. smut clyde said,

    October 7, 2012 at 9:45

    Youze guyz have a lot of gull…
    Bustards.
    J’egret rien.

  440. El Manquecito said,

    October 7, 2012 at 12:00

    Smut’s airing out his heron joke. Things have taken a tern for the worse

  441. Major Kong said,

    October 7, 2012 at 12:51

    Owl get you for that!

  442. El Manquecito said,

    October 7, 2012 at 13:02

    Just more rantin’ and raven.

  443. Golem Heart said,

    October 7, 2012 at 14:01

    As “Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Prophet of the End Times,” Don Henley’s coming was foretold. He was made manifest throughout the ages. His true nature was seldom intuited–rather, men saw in him a mortal of singular puissance.

    Don Henley was a steel drivin’ man,
    He died with a hammah in his han’,
    Oh, come along boys and line the track
    For Don Henley ain’t never comin’ back,
    For Don Henley ain’t never comin’ back.

  444. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 7, 2012 at 18:27

    This thread is for the birds.

  445. smut clyde said,

    October 7, 2012 at 21:17

    Things have taken a tern for the worse

    At least I am not adding petrel to the flames.

  446. Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Prophet of the End Times said,

    October 8, 2012 at 5:04

    God bless.

  447. Frances the Cockatoo said,

    October 11, 2012 at 5:17

    George Will hates blue jeans.

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