Sep
30

Polls Are Dentistry Iz Theft




Posted at 10:40 by Cerberus

You are tearing me apart, Poll Numbers!

Robert Stacy McCain and/or His Live-In Gimp Smitty, The Slightly More White Supremacist McCain:
Do You Believe the Ohio Polls?

It’s been an interesting week couple of weeks campaign life for The Smiler this last while now. Between gleefully cheering the events in Libya in the hopes of turning it into his Iran Hostage Crisis (forgetting the all important role CONTRAs have in bribing a group of foreign terrorists to throw you an election) and declaring that people are parasites if they think they have a right not to starve to death in the streets, The Smiler has taken whatever small chance of winning this election he might have had and fired it into the sun. Even with the resurgence of Jim Crow bullshit voter suppression laws, “poll defender” vigilante crews vowing to intimidate voters, and daily sacrifices to Beelzebub the Hanger of Chads, Romney is polling somewhere below Candiru fish.

Heck, Five Thirty Eight has The Smiler’s chances of winning at around 16.2% and even the Fox News polls are saying it looks like we’re about to get a repeat of the Obama/Keyes race.

Now for wingnuts, who have spent decades convincing themselves that their 27% compatriots speak for a vast silent majority that think exactly like them, these polls serve as a violent reminder of reality and really there is only three ways for them to react to the harrowing likelihood of a second ScaryBlackMan term.

1) Realize that they are the discarded refuse of history and its far beyond time they learned to grow up and accept the world as is instead of the half-remembered nostalgias of child-BWAHAHA, yeah, I can’t keep a straight face. This will never happen.

2) Prepare their Kool-Aid dispensers and tin-foil hats for another 4 years of ensuring that anything the black man wants to do is adamantly opposed by whatever dirty tricks the Legislature can throw at him.

3)

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Polls and the very act of polling are a conspiracy of lies working against Republicans and thus we must oppose them and seek to destroy them and replace them with “balance” with the same fervor we have against all other sources of information about the so-called real world.

Yeah, that’d be the most popular option amongst the mouth-breathers. But don’t take my word for it. Take it away, Drunky McCain…’s bitchboy*.

A recent series of three polls — by the Washington Post, Quinnipiac and Fox News — show Mitt Romney getting blown out of the water in Ohio,

So let’s see here, three separate polls all are saying the same thing even though two of them at least have a vested interest in selling a much closer horse race. Truly this can only mean that pollsters have joined the same crusade of falsehoods and deceptions as scientists.

and those of us who are skeptical about these numbers (c’mon, 10 points?) are being derided as “poll denialists.”

At this point, I just can’t help but smile as every single half-wit conspiracy theorist who wants to straight up deny vast swaths of reality uses the same bloody lines. They are all “skeptics” who are “just asking the hard questions”. And what’s best about this is they all do this despite no actual skeptic anywhere being called a “faith healer denialist” or a “psychic denialist”.

But hey, it really is unfair how those of them who are just a little skeptical about the shape of the Earth are being derided as “round-Earth denialists”.

It is worth pointing out that these polls were all taken in the immediate aftermath of the “secret video” uproar

And everyone knows that it’s no fair when things a candidate says and believes have an impact on their chance of winning. Doesn’t reality know that conservatives are allowed “take backsises” on having to deal with any consequences resulting from their actions?

, and all of them are now at least five days out of date. The Fox poll was taken Sept. 16-18, the WaPo poll was taken Sept. 19-23 and Quinnipiac’s poll was taken Sept. 18-24.

Thus they all fail to take into account… Obama’s secret video tape releasing rabid squirrels on the populace? The Smiler’s new ad featuring the Memory Eraser from Men in Black to try and make everyone forget the last week? That our mayfly-like populace is now several generations removed from that video and thus has no need to remember it?

Gimme something, Confederate McCain. Anything!

There has been no new public polling since Monday, which is significant in that Paul Ryan and Romney spent three days this week campaigning in Ohio — Lima, Cincinnati, Dayton, Columbus, Cleveland and Toledo.

Of course! They forgot to take into account that… Mitt Romney made an appearance in Ohio… several in fact.

Er… I’m not sure how to tell you this, but despite your beliefs that positions of power are simply handed to you by right, here in America, we have elections where people actually have to campaign. And thanks to the dysfunction of our electoral system, this mostly means the candidates touring around the same handful of “battleground states” hoping to bribe enough voters to swing a couple of states their way.

Simply doing one’s job isn’t really a game changer unless the other side is so inept they forget they have to campaign to win elections**.

We must ask: Do polls matter more than the campaigns themselves?

Sadly, yes.

Do the national media control the narrative to such an extent that 4,000 people turning out for Romney in Toledo can be dismissed as irrelevant?

A whole 4,000 people, huh? That’s close to what The Smiler is hoping to get on Election Day. Zing!

Is all the grassroots effort by Americans for Prosperity moot?

Were all the efforts to strip away campaign financing limits, openly suppress voting in swing states, and openly calling for a return to Feudalism wasted? Is there no amount of money left to convince a majority of Americans that a black man is so scary they might as well elect a petty sociopath who thinks food is a luxury good?

We’re still four days away from the first debate, Wednesday in Denver, and yet we are being told that Obama’s headed for a landslide victory in Ohio, and thus re-election Nov. 6.

That’s true, we should wait for the calvacade of horrendous gaffes that circus produces before we nail those coffin lids shut. I mean, I think we can get into the single digits if we really try. Hey, let’s make South Carolina into a swing state! There is no bottom.

Really? Reports of declining Democrat registrations don’t justify even a tiny smidgen of doubt about this allegedly foregone conclusion?

Declining Democratic registration huh? Yes, it does turn out that starts to thin out a bit once everyone to the Left of Hitler has already registered Democrat and is planning to vote even if they have to pole vault over a shark tank.

But maybe I’m being mean and the next sentence is all about how raw numbers of new registrations is favoring Republicans what with a new surge of swing voters excited at the prospect of voting for the candidate that thinks payroll taxes don’t count as income tax but wants us to believe that he’s the better candidate on economic issues.

Let’s consult another poll:

A new survey by Gallup asked Americans how much trust and confidence they have in the mass media — newspapers, television and radio — when it comes to reporting the news fully, accurately and fairly: a great deal, a fair amount, not very much, or none at all. The result shows that “trust” disappeared long ago. Trust becomes disgust.
Gallup has been taking this measurement over the past decade or so, and the erosion of trust has been consistent and steady since at least 1998. Twelve years ago, 53 percent of Americans told Gallup that they had “a great deal” or at least “a fair amount” of trust in the media. By this year, only 40 percent of Americans put their trust in newspapers, television and radio to tell them what’s going on in the world. A remarkable 60 percent said they had “not very much” trust or “none at all.”

Or it’s a note that people have stopped trusting the MSM when they abandoned any semblance of journalism in favor of giving Republicans so many handicaps that they’ve had to start actually physically handicapping Democrats. Mostly with crowbars.

No, sorry, you’re probably right and it’s proof of the Secret Pollster Agenda.

How do underdog candidates — and let’s admit Mitt is the underdog at this stage of the campaign — cut through the media filter?

Money? Fox News? An entire right-wing internet literally begging to run with any talking point scrap that can be thrown their way?

Already tried those to no avail. Hmm.

Ooh! Have you tried smoke signals yet? I think we might be onto a winner here. Get me Karl Rove on the phone!

On Wednesday, for the first time, Americans are going to get a chance to see Romney and Obama on the same stage, head-to-head, and if you think that debate is going to be a walkover for Obama, you don’t remember the Jan. 26 debate in Jacksonville, Fla., where Mitt fatally lacerated Newt Gingrich.

And as long as Obama is as easy a target as Newt Gingrich, there should be nothing to worry about.

Keep in mind that Romney doesn’t have to be declared hands-down winner of that debate in order to “win.” All he has to do is to “look presidential,” avoid gaffes and get in a couple of good zingers and everything that happened before will be forgotten.

To “win” the debate? Probably. Given the usual handicap given to Republicans, he probably only needs to show up and remain conscious (otherwise known as looking presidential) to be declared the “winner” by the talking head brigade. But given the current unbelievable gulf in the poll numbers and the fact that not even people planning to vote for Romney like him, I’m pretty sure he needs to have God descend in Rapture and declare Romney His chosen candidate just to pull even.

Should that happen — if Mitt scores at least a draw in the first debate — the narrative changes and, by the time Paul Ryan meets Joe Biden in the Oct. 11 vice-presidential debate, we’ll be hearing about a race that is a neck-and-neck horse race.

Are you really certain you should be giving away the scam on how punditry works in your favor in the midst of ranting about how it only looks like you’re not tied because Lieberal Media Bias Judaism?

I mean, you’re right, I imagine the various paid-off shills working for the picked-over husks of our major media outlets will indeed be looking for any excuse on the planet Earth to declare the race “too close to call” and talk about “Obama in trouble” because he didn’t spend enough time running as a Republican. But that has about as much impact on reality as… well, you.

Yet there are those Ohio polls, and there are those who are willing to take the polls as evidence that the campaign is all but over.

I assumed that the link embedded in this sentence went to one of the various wingnuts who have decided to “adjust the poll numbers for accuracy” by just adding 8 percent to Romney’s scores for “balance” because having polls favor one candidate over another is bias, donchaknow.

But no, it’s just to a link that shows Obama with a nearly 6 point lead in one of the five swing states that Romney needs to sweep just to stay alive in November. I’m not entirely sure what SubstanceAbuse McCain’s intended point was, but I think it got lost in stupid.

Doug Ross lists some of the improbable beliefs necessary to buy into this argument:

[Y]ou have to believe that the Tea Party never organized or simply disappeared into thin air
[Y]ou have to believe that Obama’s act of adding $6 trillion — 60 percent — to the national debt, which has resulted in the country’s first credit downgrade, is wildly popular . . .
[Y]ou have to believe that the 2010 tidal wave election never happened

You don’t believe that, do you? No, of course not.

I do believe in Santa Christ!

Oh sorry. But yeah, it is the cutest thing ever seeing the wingnuts on their knees wishing please for Market Forces to bring them a stolen election and a jetpack as their cognitive dissonance hums gently in the wind.

Why, acknowledging reality would mean that our glorified Klan meetings were just an overhyped media fad hoping to distract people from the real populist anger. That the 2010 election was just a standard midterm election where we performed a little below expectations. And that whining about the debt while people continue to starve, go homeless, die of preventable diseases, suffer from abnormal weather patterns, and go without jobs for years at a time without a functional safety net doesn’t actually endear you to voters or make them care about your obvious attempt at a misdirection.

And that’s just unpossible!

Frankly, despite all the certainty of the pollsters and pundits, I don’t think most people in Ohio (or anywhere else) are paying much attention to the campaign at this point.

Ignorance will save us! As long as no one cares enough to pay attention, then The Smiler still has a chance!

In the parking lot of this McDonald’s in Galion, there is not a single car with a bumper sticker for either Obama or Romney and, driving around the state this week, I haven’t seen a lot of yard signs.

The “parking lot” in question would be the nearly pitch black picture included at the top of his post which depicts a single rural McDonald’s sign and two cars which are so buried in darkness you can’t even tell if the cars even have bumper stickers.

Also, Galion, OH***, you say? Yeah, I’d be fucking petrified if I didn’t see any bumper stickers for The Smiler and I was a Republican. Galion went 59% for McCain in 2008 (note that Ohio went 51-46 for Obama). They went 64% for Bush in 2004. It is so much in rural Crackerville, that its white population of 97% is only 2 less than Obama’s current approval rating among black voters. If there is one city that should be wall-to-wall Smiler signs, it should be Galion. If it’s a ghost town, that’s about as strong a confirmation of the polls as one could ask for.

But really, this paragraph underlies the real problem, if I may be serious for a second. Wingnuts have spent so much time walling themselves off from any knowledge of anyone different than the tiny inbred circles they allow themselves to engage with that they’ve forgotten that other places and people exist. Of course, the podunk small town that Smitty McClownShoes walks around is the same as everywhere. If there’s no signs there, then there must be no support for Obama anywhere. After all, no one at the Church meetings is planning to vote for him. Obviously, then, the only way he could be leading in the polls and winning elections is through demonic possession and fraud.

It is amazing that wingnuts manage to maintain this complete hermetic isolation from knowledge of the outside world despite regularly and actively posting on the World Wide Web. That’s no longer denial at that point, but rather some form of incredibly self-destructive superpower.

Obama may be ahead in Ohio right now, but the campaign is far from over, because many voters haven’t yet made up their minds.

Please Bob let this A) be true and B) last until we finally find a reboot for The Smiler that doesn’t involve us having to admit The Smiler exists.

The attempt by the Obamaphile media to create the appearance of an early decision — with the help of the polling firm of “Madoff, Marist, Quinnipiac and Ponzi” — ought to be rejected as the propaganda ploy it really is.

Experienced mango divers are encouraged to enjoy the linked article. It’s all sorts of Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Understand that most Ohioans are currently more concerned with Ohio State football (the Buckeyes beat Michigan State 17-16 today) than they are with the upcoming election. These sensible Midwesterners, who two years ago elected Republican John Kasich govern0r and Republican Rob Portman to the Senate, are unlikely to buy into a lot of media hype going ’round.

No, no, I’m serious. Our only hope for The Smiler to even have a fighting chance in this election is to pray to Bob that the electorate is lazy enough and ignorant enough that they don’t even realize that there’s a national election.

We can only hope that the NFL scab refs and Reality TV have kept people so distracted they didn’t even notice us calling them worthless moochers. Luckily, I think we got away with it.

After all, if people really were paying attention, it would have been reflected in something like the poll nuuuuuungh.

Well… FUCK.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I’m not entirely sure how much further away from acknowledging reality wingnuts can drift before they physically become Morlocks. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

* I kinda have to assume so, seeing as how RS McHangsNegros no longer includes a byline on his posts. Apparently, he’s no longer sober enough to post his own rants about the perfidy of anyone with melanin.

**Though I can understand why wingnuts may find this novel and odd, considering that most of The Smiler’s opponents were this fucking inept.

***Given how I’m pretty sure RS Pinafore McCain bursts into flames every time he travels above the Mason-Dixon Line and is last reported as living in Maryland, I think we can safely saw that Unpaid Intern Smitty is the writer of this and every post on McCain’s site.

247 Comments »

  1. Cerberus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 10:43

    For those wondering why a half-started version of this post appeared on the site a couple of hours ago, allow me to answer thusly:

    FYWP.

    Because apparently deleting a section of text was somehow secret WordPress code for “Publish Immediately”.

  2. John Revolta said,

    September 30, 2012 at 11:27

    First after Cerb who DOESN’T COUNT ’cause shut up that’s why.

  3. John Revolta said,

    September 30, 2012 at 12:04

    All he has to do is to “look presidential,” avoid gaffes and get in a couple of good zingers and everything that happened before will be forgotten.

    Apparently they’ve got that covered.

  4. John Revolta said,

    September 30, 2012 at 12:10

    I SAID, got that covered, I said.

  5. smut clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 12:23

    We must ask: Do polls matter more than the campaigns themselves?
    I was under the impression that you have a poll in early November that matters quite a lot.
    McCain et al. are at the stage now of arguing that the Romney campaign tried really hard and deserve some sort of prize just for being white effort.

    Romney doesn’t have to be declared hands-down winner of that debate in order to “win.” All he has to do is to … avoid gaffes
    Could the bigotry of low expectations get any softer?

  6. smut clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 12:31

    McCain &c are working on the theory that “the Obama team are doing well because the 47% tape fell into their hands… but that was just a lucky chance… it brought them a short-term advantage that will wear off. Because they had never researched any other Romney weaknesses.”
    What McCain *should* be asking himself is “Before the 47% tape fell into Obama’s hands (and became a weapon to use while its powder was still dry), what was their original secret weapon going to be?”

  7. Journal of the Plague Year said,

    September 30, 2012 at 12:43

    Wait: he’s approvingly citing a poll to help bolster his position that polls are…lies? I…yeah, okay…no.

    See, this is why I’m so happy that there are people out there in the big ol’ world willing to read and report back on this increasingly hallucinatory alternate world so that I won’t have to explore it myself.

  8. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 30, 2012 at 13:34

    It IS to larf, furilla.
    .

  9. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 30, 2012 at 13:47

    Bozo’s gonna be really mad

    Also, why is Cerb so mean? If wingnuts want to create their own reality, who is she to complain? We all know reality has a liberal bias.

  10. Major Kong said,

    September 30, 2012 at 14:17

    Also, Galion, OH***, you say?

    OK, I’ve lived in Ohio for 19 years and I never even realized we had a Galion. Man they’re getting desperate.

  11. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 30, 2012 at 14:36

    I think McCain’s been buttchugging. Btw, my predictive text vocabulary now includes “buttchugging.” It’s a beautiful world we live in.

  12. Bobby Gene said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:01

    Mango Divers. That’s funny.

  13. N__B said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:02

    It is amazing that wingnuts manage to maintain this complete hermetic isolation from knowledge of the outside world

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH for reminding me of the shittiest of M. Night’s shitty movies.

  14. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:23

    What is this “Ohio” of which you speak?
    ~

  15. Caliph Garret said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:26

    Mango Diver, you’re the star of the masquerade.
    No need to look so afraid
    Jump on the tiger
    You can feel his heart but you know he’s mean
    Some light can never be seen.

  16. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:40

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH for reminding me of the shittiest of M. Night’s shitty movies.

    I actually thoroughly enjoyed “Signs.” I remember “The Village” as sort of a noble experiment that ultimately failed. I really disliked his “fairy tale” movie.

  17. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:44

    At this point, I just can’t help but smile as every single half-wit conspiracy theorist who wants to straight up deny vast swaths of reality uses the same bloody lines. They are all “skeptics” who are “just asking the hard questions”.

    This doesn’t make me smile so much as grind my teeth. Take climate change. The real skeptics are scientists: they’re not perfect, but they’re the ones who use time-tested, hard-earned methods of getting at the truth. They’re the ones with the knowledge, tools, and social networks needed to “ask the hard questions.” Non-scientists can play, to varying degrees, but they don’t get to play by different rules. There’s one game, and you’re either on the field, at its periphery, or off in fantasyland bitching, “listen to my theory too!”

  18. DrDick said,

    September 30, 2012 at 16:29

    We must ask: Do polls matter more than the campaigns themselves?

    Conveniently ignoring that polls do not determine the outcome, but measure how well the campaign is doing. In this case, about as well as a moldy shit sandwich stand on 5th Avenue in NYC.

  19. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 16:47

    Er… I’m not sure how to tell you this, but despite your beliefs that positions of power are simply handed to you by right, here in America, we have elections where people actually have to campaign

    I have a theory about The Smiler’s campaign, and it may not be unique and it may not be right but it’s my FFFFFEEEEEERRRRRYYY and what it is, too.

    Romney sincerely believes he is owed the Presidency, merely by the fact that he is willing to take time out of his busy schedule and rescue us all from The Great Destroyer’s socialistic dictatorship, and the fact that he actually has to campaign and get elected is a personal insult beyond words.

    Which explains his shitty job at campaigning – he’s a damn CEO, and he’s been reduced to the equivalent of filling out job applications on a computer kiosk like one of the worthless proles. Which also explains Ann Romney’s whining that we’re all being too tough on her hubby and we should just shut up and hand him the White House already.

  20. creature said,

    September 30, 2012 at 16:47

    I knew this campaign was gonna be a lotta fun, but, the best part isn’t the candidates. It’s the goofy sumbitches who are making ‘observations’ on it.

    The fun just keeps getting better. Right up ’til November. I’m going to get out the hazmat suit, to avoid the nasty head asploshun shrapnel.

    Were is ‘bookmark it, libs’ dude now that we really need him?

  21. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 16:48

    By the way – BBBB, thanx for the Youtube link yesterthread. I’ve never heard Vance speak, so I’m kinda looking forward to listening to it.

  22. DrDick said,

    September 30, 2012 at 17:05

    It’s the goofy sumbitches who are making ‘observations’ on it.

    The modern GOP is simply a delusional death cult and has been increasingly so since 1980. They have now entered Heaven’s Gate / Bob Jones territory.

  23. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 30, 2012 at 17:46

    those of us who are skeptical about these numbers (c’mon, 10 points?) are being derided as “poll denialists.” [...] It is worth pointing out that these polls were all taken in the immediate aftermath of the “secret video” uproar

    I do love me some Snot Quotes and this doughhead does not fail to deliver.

  24. Cerberus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 17:58

    Bobby Gene-

    Mango Diver! You’ve been down too long in the midnight SKREE!

  25. Cerberus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 17:59

    Caliph may ahem me at will.

  26. Thread Bear said,

    September 30, 2012 at 17:59

    I would laugh and get snarky about this, but I’m afraid I have my own conspiracy theory. Shit, I’m one of THOSE now. But, all f the voting machines in Ohio are Diebold machines. A company that has sent large amounts of money to thr Rmoney campaign. There’s no paper trail and the software is proprietary. I worry that the new talking point pushing the idea that (for the first time in history) all the polls a vastly biased. I am now suspicious that on election day, when the results vary wildly from the polling in Ohio and other states they will just go, “see, we told you the polling was biasesd!”

  27. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 18:06

    Thread Bear, you’re scaring me.

  28. RepubAnon said,

    September 30, 2012 at 18:13

    I tend to agree with Thread Bear: it’s entirely possible that the states where the voting machines don’t have audit trails will show tallies that match up with the “corrected” poll numbers issued by the wingnuts.

    Remember when the exit polls sowed vastly different results than those generated by Diebold’s audit-free voting machines?

  29. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 30, 2012 at 18:19

    Ohio machines now (I know they did in 2010, not sure about 2008) record your vote on a piece of paper as well as digitally, T.B.
    ~

  30. g said,

    September 30, 2012 at 18:29

    All he has to do is to “look presidential,” avoid gaffes and get in a couple of good zingers and everything that happened before will be forgotten.

    Amazing the contempt OtherMcCain has both for his candidate and his supporters. “They’re too stupid to pay attention when there’s a football game to distract them, but as long as Romney doesn’t say something stupid and has a couple of good one-liners, they’ll love him!”

    One wonders why, if they feel the alternative of IslamoKenyan Social Fascism redistribution is so dire, they’d pin their hopes on a guy whose greatest assest is a well-tailored suit.

  31. D Johnston said,

    September 30, 2012 at 18:35

    Keep in mind that Romney doesn’t have to be declared hands-down winner of that debate in order to “win.” All he has to do is to “look presidential,” avoid gaffes and get in a couple of good zingers and everything that happened before will be forgotten.
    Should that happen — if Mitt scores at least a draw in the first debate — the narrative changes…

    Well…yeah. RSM came so close to a revelation, then made a hard right into Crazytown.

    You ever wonder why the media do that, Rob? Because their real bias isn’t toward any political party, it’s toward their own ratings. People aren’t going to tune in nightly to hear about a foregone campaign. If they have to bullshit a bit and pretend that one of the horses just broke it’s leg, so be it.

    Why do you think pundits exist at all? It’s not to educate, that’s for sure.

  32. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 18:57

    Be afraid, vs, be very afraid.

  33. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 30, 2012 at 19:08

    Sunday, September 30, 2012
    If It’s Sunday
    This Week has an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CHRIS CHRISTIE MUST CREDIT THIS WEEK, Plouffe, Barbour, and Dean.

    Meet The Press has an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CHRIS CHRISTIE MUST CREDIT MEET THE PRESS, Ed Rendell.

    Face the Nation has an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CHRIS CHRISTIE MUST CREDIT FACE THE NATION, Disgraced Former Speaker Newt Gingrich, and Marcia Blackburn.

    Document the atrocities! Oh wait. I think I just did.

    by Atrios at 08:50

    This can’t be about ratings.

    How about “Service to the plutocracy?”
    ~

  34. J Neo Marvin said,

    September 30, 2012 at 19:39

    Chris Christie is Very Popular.
    Chris Christie is Very Popular.
    Chris Christie is Very Popular.

    Keep saying it over and over. It’s worked so well for Paul Ryan.

  35. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:01

    How ’bout THEM apples?
    .

  36. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:25

    Speaking of apples, I had some old apples to use up, so I sliced them up and put them in a crockpot with some onions, cabbage, potatoes, and bone in country-style pork ribs with a Dijon-maple sauce. Let’s hope it turns out great. Will be topping with (precious) bacon bits.

  37. N__B said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:27

    about as well as a moldy shit sandwich stand on 5th Avenue in NYC.

    I’d suggest using a different metaphor. Stylish moldy shit sandwiches might sell quite well in a 5th Ave boutique.

  38. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:32

    Calif. bans gay-to-straight therapy for minors

    “This bill bans non-scientific ‘therapies’ that have driven young people to depression and suicide,” Brown said in a statement. “These practices have no basis in science or medicine and they will now be relegated to the dustbin of quackery.”

    Another blow against religious fweedom! –But seriously, good news and a good strong statement from Jerry Brown.

  39. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:33

    Why is the government not paying for my moldy shit sandwiches? I’m one of the 47%, dammit, I want my free moldy shit sandwich.

  40. Major Kong said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:40

    Stylish moldy shit sandwiches might sell quite well in a 5th Ave boutique.

    Call it a Croque Merde and you can probably charge $19 for it.

  41. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:54

    VS, please FedEx me a whole buncha that stuff!

    Also re the prrrreshusssss, my daughter made a lasagna with bacon in it last night and tsam was never so proud of his lil baby girl!

  42. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 20:55

    Good job, Cali!

  43. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:01

    Ryan: The dog ate my homework.

    Fuck these fucking fucks.

  44. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:04

    Re: California’s ban on “therapy” to change minors’ sexual orientations: All these people have to do is stop pretending they’re offering medical services and doing scientific research. No more “Assn. for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH).” Just admit you’re pushing religious indoctrination services. Why should fundies think their ideological boot-camps need a veneer of science, anyway? To me that shows insecurity.

  45. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:07

    No more “Assn. for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH).”

    “Pinky, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
    “NARTH!”

  46. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:08

    Shorter Paulie Fishnuts: “Tee-hee! Math is hard!”

  47. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:10

    VS, please FedEx me a whole buncha that stuff!

    Also re the prrrreshusssss, my daughter made a lasagna with bacon in it last night and tsam was never so proud of his lil baby girl!

    Will do.

    Now I’m curious about the bacon lasagna…I’ve never heard of such a thing. What else was in it?

  48. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:11

    Also, too.

    If ever there was a picture in need of a dildoshopping…

  49. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:14

    First after Cerb who DOESN’T COUNT ’cause shut up that’s why
    AHEM!!!

    Also:

    Lucas County is a county located in the state of Ohio, United States. According to the 2010 census, it has a population of 441,815, which is a decrease of 2.9% from 455,054 in 2000. Its county seat is Toledo.

    Less than one per cent of the county’s population shows & it’s VICTORY?

    Metro area:

    According to the Toledo Metropolitan Council of Governments, the Toledo/Northwest Ohio region of 10 counties has over 1 million residents.

    Totally innumerate, but does 4,000 of 1,000,000 = 0.4%? Or even less?

  50. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:15

    Shorter Paulie Fishnuts: “Tee-hee! Math is hard!”

    He just doesn’t want to get all wonky on your ass.

  51. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:17

    Now I’m curious about the bacon lasagna…I’ve never heard of such a thing. What else was in it?

    Oooh. Howzabout bacon, layered with bacon, and some more bacon in between, and a little bacon on top don’t want to overdo it, and… nnnnghghgghghhgghhhhnnnghghhhhh….brb.

    Baaaaaaaaaaaaacon…

  52. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:22

    He just doesn’t want to get all wonky on your ass.

    Yes, they’re done calling the American populace shiftless, layabout freeloaders and have moved on to calling them ignorant, unteachable idiots unworthy of their time.

    Progress!

  53. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:27

    Funny thing is that I’ve seen Ryan use that in nearly every speech and interview I’ve ever seen him give. And that people don’t question him further is infuriating.

  54. Cerberus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:30

    Hogeye-

    How many reboots are we up to now?

    7? 8?

  55. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:39

    8th time’s the charm!

  56. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 21:45

    grassroots effort by Americans for Prosperity

    No further comment needed.

  57. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:13

    Understand that most Ohioans are currently more concerned with Ohio State football (the Buckeyes beat Michigan State 17-16 today) than they are with the upcoming election. These sensible Midwesterners, who two years ago elected Republican John Kasich govern0r [sic] and Republican Rob Portman to the Senate, are unlikely to buy into a lot of media hype going ’round.

    If they were so fucking “sensible” they’d be a little more concerned about their future existence than about football.

    And how do the sensible people of Ohio see things Senatorially?
    Real Clear Politics averages it +7.5 for leftish Sen. Brown, who’s running against some weenie who looks as if his voice will be changing any day now.

  58. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:14

    I sometimes use diced ham in a lasagna. Tasty. I’d use prosciutto but I can’t afford it in the required quantity.

    Also, Chris Christie is a twatwaffle.

  59. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:20

    Also, Chris Christie is a twatwaffle.

    A BLUEtwatwaffle.

  60. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:21

    What’s weird is I was imagining bacon as the noodles. Channeling my inner Homer, I guess.

    I can see using pancetta in lasagna. That’s prolly as crazy as I’d get.

  61. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:22

    tsam, is all the bacon interlaced, or just slapped down between the cheese & pasta?

    How ’bout lasagna made w/ interlaced bacon substituted for the pasta?

    Oh, cheesy bacon melt, never mind, been done.

  62. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:25

    How ’bout lasagna made w/ interlaced bacon substituted for the pasta?

    I think that would be bacon overload.

    I welcome our new bacon overload.
    .

  63. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:29

    AHEM

  64. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:33

    Climb the bacon lattice.
    .

  65. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:40

    AHEM
    As if I read your one-min.-before-mine comment. Just admit we’re both clever.

    HARRUMPH!!

  66. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:44

    Oh ALL RIGHT.

  67. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:58

    I never thought of MB and vs both being Cleaver but I suppose it makes sense. Kind of. If you squint.

  68. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 22:59

    fewer bacon jokes, more bacon recipes plzkthx

  69. N__B said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:05

    If you use a wheat paste as glue, you can have bake-on bacon.

  70. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:10

    both being Cleaver
    Resisting all high heels/pearl necklace humor.

    However: Dive for the mango! (Office slaves: VULGAR!)

  71. tigris said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:22

    Climb the bacon lattice.

    Needs tomato.

  72. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:36

    Cook it in plastic for bacon baked on Bakelite.

  73. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:38

    Hot tip: Hannu Rajaniemi’s new novel will be released Nov. 27 but you can get the Kindle edition NOW! Which I just did. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have reading to do.

  74. vacuumslayer said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:44

    I am reading “Catching Fire.” I am gauche and proud! (And wow is it good.)

  75. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:58

    Now I’m curious about the bacon lasagna…I’ve never heard of such a thing. What else was in it?

    Plain marinara sauce, mushrooms, ricotta, mozzarella, Colby/jack, Parmesan. Then bacon chopped into 1/2″ squares or so. Nothing fancy, a whole pan full of awesome.

  76. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 23:59

    Jordan wants to be a chef and own a restaurant when she grows up. She’s well on her way

  77. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 0:01

    The bacon was just mixed with the sauce and cheese, like you would do with Italian sausage.

  78. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 0:02

    It didn’t dominate the taste at all. Just a perfect addition to it.

  79. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 1, 2012 at 0:14

    Was this bacon limp, or turgid?

    Btw, pussy.
    .

  80. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 0:37

    She cooked it until it was perfect for eating. Once it baked, it was soft.

  81. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 0:40

    You cat looks like he’s about to thrash you, JP

  82. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    October 1, 2012 at 0:43

    You cat looks like he’s about to thrash you, JP

    He’s the biggest marshmallow on the planet, I swear.
    .

  83. Major Kong said,

    October 1, 2012 at 1:12

    Now I’m curious about the bacon lasagna…I’ve never heard of such a thing.

    I make Carbonara – which is spaghetti with bacon and eggs (and parmesan cheese). It’s very filling. Good on a chilly fall or winter evening. Takes very little effort to make.

  84. vacuumslayer said,

    October 1, 2012 at 1:46

    tsam, I’ve had back luck mixing bacon in with other stuff in anything other than extremely modest amounts. It just takes over so easily.

    Carbonara is pretty much my husband’s ultimate dream food. Made it very few times; it’s so fucking rich.

  85. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 1:48

    Marcella Hazan said, rather snootily, that many Romans enjoy carbonara with American style smoked bacon – philistines! – but that she finds that it cloys. She makes it only with pancetta. She went on, snooty as before, to insist that if one insists on using smoked bacon – smoked products are rare in Italian cuisine, you see, usually seen only in the Alto Adige which is filled with those dubious Germanic type peoples – that one blanch the bacon before frying it.

    I love carbonara made with pancetta. But fuck off Marcella, I like it with bacon too.

  86. vacuumslayer said,

    October 1, 2012 at 1:54

    LOL. Yeah, I’ve actually never made it with Pancetta. I know Italians don’t normally use smoked meats, but I kinda thought a lot of people overlooked that for Carbonara.

  87. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 1, 2012 at 1:57

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH for reminding me of the shittiest of M. Night’s shitty movies.

    M. Night Shabba Doo? Twist ending… he’s not really a doctor.

  88. Major Kong said,

    October 1, 2012 at 1:59

    I can sometimes get Pancetta, but I can’t find it all the time, even at the local Italian grocery.

    VS – in case you haven’t been up to Federal Hill in Providence yet, that’s what used to be “Little Italy” around your neck of the woods. I’m sure you can find it there.

  89. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:04

    Romney sincerely believes he is owed the Presidency, merely by the fact that he is willing to take time out of his busy schedule and rescue us all from The Great Destroyer’s socialistic dictatorship, and the fact that he actually has to campaign and get elected is a personal insult beyond words.

    He may think that it’s divinely ordained.

    By the way – BBBB, thanx for the Youtube link yesterthread. I’ve never heard Vance speak, so I’m kinda looking forward to listening to it.

    It’s a pleasure! I’m always doing Vance prosetylizing. Really, everybody needs to read Jack Vance, starting with the free download.

  90. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:12

    Every time I try to read Vance a deodand comes after me and I have to flee.

  91. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:15

    Speaking of apples, I had some old apples to use up, so I sliced them up and put them in a crockpot with some onions, cabbage, potatoes, and bone in country-style pork ribs with a Dijon-maple sauce. Let’s hope it turns out great. Will be topping with (precious) bacon bits.

    I make something similar to that a lot in the colder weather… it’s a riff on bigos.

    Marcella Hazan said, rather snootily, that many Romans enjoy carbonara with American style smoked bacon – philistines! – but that she finds that it cloys. She makes it only with pancetta. She went on, snooty as before, to insist that if one insists on using smoked bacon – smoked products are rare in Italian cuisine, you see, usually seen only in the Alto Adige which is filled with those dubious Germanic type peoples – that one blanch the bacon before frying it.

    The key to Italian cuisine is incorporating what’s good and available into your cooking. If you can’t get pancetta, go with what you’ve got. Cazzo di merda, is that so difficult a concept?

    It’s funny… one of my good family friends was born and raised in Calabria, and he’d never had pepperoni until he was well into middle age. He was a little nonplussed- “This is the weirdest salami I’ve ever seen!”

  92. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:16

    Every time I try to read Vance a deodand comes after me and I have to flee.

    At least you weren’t eaten by a grue.

  93. Smut Clyde said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:29

    Really, everybody needs to read Jack Vance,

    “Talk like a Jack Vance Character Day” seems to come around earlier every year.

  94. Smut Clyde said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:34

    Every time I try to read Vance a deodand comes after me and I have to flee.
    Deodand? Izznthat a kind of tree?

  95. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 1, 2012 at 2:43

    “Talk like a Jack Vance Character Day” seems to come around earlier every year.

    I tried my best, but every business transaction ended up taking a minimum of forty-five minutes, and I got into fistfights with half of the clerks.

  96. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 3:21

    Re: Jack Vance: having just read the Dying Earth compilation, I wonder if his other books share a feature running throughout those ones. I’m not sure how to describe it best, but if you know Dying Earth, you know that the main characters (Cugel, Rhialto, and others) are selfish, egotist, manipulative rogues to an absurd degree. It’s great page-turning fun, in part because the tricksters get tricked, and even a wizard with godly powers is never safe.

    As much as I’ve enjoyed this stuff, I hope Vance’s characters and plots aren’t always quite this way. I feel I’ve been schooled pretty thoroughly in it by reading about Cugel the Clever. Rhialto ran a close second — he deserves a lifetime in hell for what he did to that older wizard with the Ioun Stones. That poor fellow seemed to exist as just an helluva guy who gets fucked badly.

  97. Nym said,

    October 1, 2012 at 3:47

    Am I the only one who’s read Vance’s Demon Princes books? (I haven’t read Dying Earth as the local library is somewhat lacking.)

  98. Smut Clyde said,

    October 1, 2012 at 3:50

    the main characters are selfish, egotist, manipulative rogues to an absurd degree

    Rest assured that sometimes Vance writes about characters who are amoral rogues who *don’t* get tricked and are victorious at the conclusion of the plot (e.g. the Demon Princes series; the Planet of Adventure tetralogy).

    And sometimes he writes about characters who try to impose their framework of morality onto a new situation (e.g. an alien planet), and are victorious only after painfully learning to replace that moral judgement with an urbane neutrality. This seems to happen more often to his female characters (as they come to appreciate the desirable aspects of the amoral male lead).

  99. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 3:56

    You’ve piqued my interest further. I guess I’ll be paying him for not putting all my moral ducks in a neat row.

  100. Pere Ubu said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:01

    As much as I’ve enjoyed this stuff, I hope Vance’s characters and plots aren’t always quite this way.

    All his protagonists have a rougish streak, but most aren’t the assholes the inhabitants of the far future are.

  101. Smut Clyde said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:05

    I would not be the first person to suggest that Vance has been influenced by James Branch Cabell. And ‘disillusionment’ is such a strong theme for Cabell that his characters are always amoral by the end of the book, viewing the events around themselves with disinterested detachment, whatever high standards they might have begun with.

  102. Pere Ubu said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:09

    Fun find: the Seeing Ear Theater adaptation of Vance’s The Moon Moth -
    http://www.sffaudio.com/?p=39652

  103. Anonymous said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:15

    tsam, I’ve had back luck mixing bacon in with other stuff in anything other than extremely modest amounts. It just takes over so easily.

    Carbonara is pretty much my husband’s ultimate dream food. Made it very few times; it’s so fucking rich.

    She cooked about 2/3 of a package of bacon and that covered half of the lasagne (we have 2 crazy people who don’t eat bacon). It didn’t overpower it at all. I think the ricotta and mozzerella balanced it out just right. I would LOVE Carbonara, but I’m way too allergic to eggs for it. NOT FAIR.

  104. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:21

    Different take on Rmoney;

    He LOVES being on TV, loves having people look at him. He likes to be in charge, and to some extent thinks he is owed the presidency. I think he looks at it and thinks “how could they NOT elect ME? I mean, LOOK AT ME!”

    This would have been his race to lose if he hadn’t played the psycho card to compete with Santorum and Bachmann. Then again, look what happened to Huntsman. He was the only marginally sane candidate and he went nowhere. I do think Romney is more a victim of a conservative electorate that somehow managed to become even more batshit crazy than they have been since the Civil War.

  105. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:44

    I’ve just resisted buying various things online, some things more than once …

    But if one of you could teleport me a pasta carbonara dinner or its functional equivalent, boy would I wire you fifty bucks in a fast-n-modern manner.

  106. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:52

    Fuck Michael Vick. And fuck Phillufya for taking him.

    I’ve got some ground beefies – grass fed organic et fucking cetera that shit has got FUCKING FLAVOR! – so imma grilling some burgers. Sharp local cheddar, heirloom tomatoes from my balcony garden, lettuces from my balcony garden, homemade tomato ketchup, big slice of red onion on toasted brioche buns from Pearl Bakery. Grilled corn onna cob Mexican street food style – grill shucked corn until you’ve got some nice brown bits going on, paint with mayo, sprinkle with ancho chili powder and grated parm regg., drizzle with lime juice. Vlaamse Frite with homemade fritesoss.

    No bacon, it would just get in the way.

  107. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 4:58

    I do think Romney is more a victim of a conservative electorate that somehow managed to become even more batshit crazy than they have been since the Civil War.

    Yeah, he’s a victim. HE JUST COULDN’T HELP HIMSELF. He *could* have gained the nomination without pandering to the extremists. He *could* have done just fine, in the long run of the primaries, without being so craven and greedy. Fuck him with a giant ion powered ice augur.

  108. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 5:05

    This was readable: entitled Garrison Keillor’s Triumph Over Addiction but really it’s not in the hackneyed genre the headline would suggest.

    I’ve often thought if I had been born a couple decades earlier (vs. 1971) I’d be dead or insane by now. How would the type of twit that I am have survived?

  109. N__B said,

    October 1, 2012 at 5:15

    He *could* have done just fine, in the long run of the primaries, without being so craven and greedy.

    Only little people have to work to achieve their goals.

  110. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 5:30

    Pup ANGRY!

    I know he dived right into the despot-for-freedom role. I just think that whoever won that thing would be having the aame problem right now

  111. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    October 1, 2012 at 5:34

    Meh.

    Rest assured that if the polls all had Willard up by double digits (which they really should with unemployment this high) there’d be plenty of libtard kerning-scoffery at the machinations of those corrupt corporate pollsters, as there was in 2002 & 2004. Nobody likes to hear that their team is riding the Failtown Express.

    There’s a good argument to be made that the polls don’t mean jack this many weeks before the election – but that thesis largely collapses once the debates are over. Romney needs to seriously kill Obama in the debates (& so does Ryan with Biden) or he’s tits-up: there aren’t any more big events after that to turn his sucktastic numbers around.

    Hearing about his rehearsed “zingers” should make GOP supporters cringe – unless he’s talking about something he actually has experience with like equity capital, he always sounds both smarmy & dimwitted … & I don’t think equity capital is going to come up for debate. Voters want real content? Give them the same tired old sound-bite horseshit!

    Funny thing is, even running against a charismatic brainiac, Romney’s deadliest opponent is himself. The whole GOP primary clown-show was a desperate/sad/hilarious attempt to defeat the guy who wound up winning anyway, & the prospects of that scenario are dire for RealAmerika. The best of a lousy bunch is still lousy, & the relatively strong candidates all sat out 2012, knowing that if Obama can take on the entire GOP Congressional A-Team & make them look like blithering dolts, their best bet is to bravely run away … I’m already looking forward to the 101st Keyboarders’ valiant Battle Of Next Morning Hill, where reality will be the first KIA & no prisoners will be taken.

    PS: A link to drop when you want to make a wingnut lose their shit.

  112. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 1, 2012 at 5:54

    “Pinky, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

    “Pondering”! Brain said “pondering”!

    Geez, am I the only one around here whose childhood was shaped by that show?

  113. N__B said,

    October 1, 2012 at 6:01

    Seeing as how it showed up when I was 29 and I’m far from the geeziest geezer here, possibly yes.

  114. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 7:13

    Romney needs to seriously kill Obama in the debates (& so does Ryan with Biden) or he’s tits-up:

    He’s screwed in those debates. He’s going to have to stand there and answer for his aristocratic remarks. That’s not going to work out well for him. Inelegant indeed. Then again, I’ve never seen a debate moderator with guts enough to actually call these fucks on their bullshit.

  115. El Manquecito said,

    October 1, 2012 at 8:04

    I’m in Nashville, exhausted after a few days of music conventioneering (IBMA woot!) and fone typing or I’d treat y’all to a disquisition on all things guanciale, pancetta and their related pastas but that’ll have to wait. Sleep calls.

  116. John Revolta said,

    October 1, 2012 at 8:39

    Geez, am I the only one around here whose childhood was shaped by that show?

    Seeing as how it showed up when I was oh, pushing 40, definitely not.

    (Although truth be told, I’m really more of a Ren & Stimpy guy.)

  117. not a gator said,

    October 1, 2012 at 9:35

    Geez, am I the only one around here whose childhood was shaped by that show?

    Me! Although I had to be more of a Brain fan because I could never follow Pinky’s pop-culture references. Narf!

  118. not a gator said,

    October 1, 2012 at 9:36

    Ren & Stimpy was on cable, Animaniacs and Freakazoid (and Tiny Toon Adventures, which was the best zingy cartoon show until Animaniacs came along) were on VHF.

  119. not a gator said,

    October 1, 2012 at 9:39

    Romney will probably eek through the first debate because Obummer will play it cool. He underplays his hand because, well, he has to.

    Gonna be interesting to see if the campaign team has more dirt on Romney to reveal, heh heh.

    I think Romney is going to bomb at the Town Hall. GWB did awful at the 2000 Town Hall although I bet Romney will throw another tantrum and try to cow the network into vetting all the attendees or stuffing it with fluffers like he did to Univision. After all, GWB got called the f*ck out by a Town Hall peasant and Romney doesn’t need that kind of sass from the help.

  120. Gerald Fnord said,

    October 1, 2012 at 11:40

    I think Romney, who grew up in politics, knows that he has to work very hard to get the Presidency. I think that he doesn’t understand that you can be tenacious and hard-working and a proper Child of God and still not get what you want, that the world is not a vending machine into which you insert the coins of various sorts of Virtue and receive Success in return.

    Maybe if he understood this already he could win this one (without Diebold and new Katherine Harrises).

    Now excuse me, but a robot named ‘Loosenut’ has just told me to accept Jesus as my Personal Saviour.

  121. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 14:39

    I think Romney, who grew up in politics, knows that he has to work very hard to get the Presidency. I think that he doesn’t understand that you can be tenacious and hard-working and a proper Child of God and still not get what you want, that the world is not a vending machine into which you insert the coins of various sorts of Virtue and receive Success in return.

    Exactly. I’ve noticed a few writings (Romney’s Peculiarly Mormon Elitism comes to mind) that touch on this nuance. Romney’s sense of entitlement isn’t exactly like an aristocrat’s. He is self-conscious of being the uber Mormon male, and that’s how you earn rewards.

  122. Major Kong said,

    October 1, 2012 at 14:45

    Geez, am I the only one around here whose childhood was shaped by that show?

    I was an adult but I still liked it. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

  123. Yoop said,

    October 1, 2012 at 16:48

    I dunno bout childhood shaping but,
    Brain?
    Seriously, am I sheltered, cuz what da fuck?

  124. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:01

    Seriously, am I sheltered, cuz what da fuck?

    Body modification reaches new depths of stupidity, eh?… If the saline injection isn’t bagel-shaped, it could be mistaken for unintentional disfigurement. These ladies must see people with goiters and say, wow that looks sharp.

  125. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:06

    I sympathize with the desire for body modification. I would like to modify my body with such features as “no beer belly” and “knees that work”, but the bagel forehead look really doesn’t grab me. They should be careful not to overdo it lest they be left with saggy foreheads.

  126. Pere Ubu said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:18

    “Think”, “ponder”, meh!

    Pedantic hooligan!

  127. Chris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:25

    GOP Congressional A-Team

    *cringe

    Did you have to use the words “GOP” and “A-Team” in the same sentence like that?

    signed, a fan of old eighties shows.

  128. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:31

    My childhood was shaped by Looney Tunes cartoons, which are still inarguably the best cartoons ever made.

    I chose the word inarguably for a reason. Accept it.

  129. Chris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:31

    I do think Romney is more a victim of a conservative electorate that somehow managed to become even more batshit crazy than they have been since the Civil War.

    I’m honestly not sure which of them deserves more of the blame. It’s true that the radicalization of the GOP combined with the overall population’s slow drift to the left leaves pretty much all Republican candidates between a rock and a hard spot. It’s also true, though, that this election has blessed them with an especially tone-deaf dumb motherfucker. No matter how slim his chances of making the public like him, they’d probably be less slim if he wasn’t such a gaffe-machine.

  130. Chris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:33

    My childhood was shaped by Looney Tunes cartoons, which are still inarguably the best cartoons ever made.

    Animaniacs FTW. That is all.

  131. Yoop said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:34

    Saggy foreheads…
    Goatse head?

  132. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:48

    McCain had every advantage against Obama in ’08 until he picked an absolute train wreck of a running mate. She was trailer trash and proud of it, and her willingness to express the GOP’s racism, xenophobia, superstition and stupidity in plain, bold terms emboldened the teabaggers (formerly Moral Majority types). They really forced the next candidate to play along with them.

    I know Romney is an empty suit, a soulless hack, an unfairly successful social parasite, but the environment in which he is running is so toxic and so loaded with insanity that he’s forced to choose sides: Teabagger morons or a small majority of the electorate. If you think about it, there is an sadly stupid right wing paradigm in this country right now. People really DO believe that filthy rich assholes like Gates, Soros, Buffett, Turner and the Kochs really are job creators. They also think that any punitive action against a corporation will cost jobs. They sort of look up to people like Romney who have figured out how to game the system, hiding money in offshore accounts to evade paying taxes. Some of them believe that cutting taxes increases federal revenues–a concept that has proven time and time again to be total quackery.

    The electorate in the country is ripe to be played by a slick conservative fuckwit like W. The media plays along with it, the right has a massive, cultish, and highly effective message machine, and people are largely oblivious to simple facts, like the silliness of the entire idea of supply side/trickle down economics. (Voodoo economics, as one conservative described them). So it’s totally plausible that with a crummy economy, an eerie feeling that the world, specifically the Middle East, is falling to pieces, an uncertain future with the costs of everything families consume skyrocketing while wages remain stubbornly flat, that any Repig could sail to a general election victory.

    tl:dr: I don’t know…I’m SO CONFUSED.

  133. Whale Chowder said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:48

    Pedantic hooligan

    Pedantic Hooligans might be a good band name.

  134. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:49

    Animaniacs FTW. That is all.

    NO! LOONEY TUNES!

  135. Pryme said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:50

    Animaniacs FTW. That is all.

    I see your point, but Naruto has magic ninjas. MAGIC NINJAS!!!

  136. Pryme said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:52

    I do think Romney is more a victim of a conservative electorate .

    He sure is.

  137. Chris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:54

    NO! LOONEY TUNES!

    U mad bro? :D

  138. kg said,

    October 1, 2012 at 17:55

    oh man this is good

    http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

  139. Chris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:00

    tsam said,
    October 1, 2012 at 17:48

    I’ve said this before, but I think their best chance in the near future is Christie. The fact that he’s an East Coaster and has occasionally strayed from the party line (e.g. by selecting a Muslim for a position and sticking to his guns) means the media will love him and can sell him as a moderate, while the fact that he’s a bully who’s spent his short career pushing weaker, liberal constituencies into lockers (unions and gays) means the conservative base will like him (a lot more than Romney, who acts like a sheepish “why don’t you guys like me?” person rather than an abrasive thug who enjoys his work).

  140. vs does not buttchug said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:12

    Chris, I’m with you. Although hubby says Americans will not elect a morbidly obese politician in this day and age…for the top office.

  141. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:15

    oh, man…i just got caught up after a birthday weekend chock full of travel, revelry, eating yummy stuff and a gig as photog ass…for hubbkf…now i see that i am NOT going to catch a break since there is now carbonara to be made, multiple books to read and some fucking gourds to arrange and/or make into fashionable fucking neckwear! jeeze…i’ve only been 47 for two days and i am already exhausted…

  142. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:17

    Chris, I’m with you. Although hubby says Americans will not elect a morbidly obese politician in this day and age…for the top office.

    i think he’s pretty right on this one…much as they love cc, he’s got a certain repugnancy factor going…at the risk of sound like a horrible bitch, his obesity to some reads as lack of control…i see him as always being the loyal, gruff but loveable second banana…

  143. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:20

    ZOMG IT’S TRUE! Obama has a time machine!

  144. Pere Ubu said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:22

    Animaniacs may have its moments, but as long as nobody’s shooting themselves in the face it’s second to Looney Tunes.

  145. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:28

    i rate for ren and stimpy…

  146. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:32

    Thread Bear said,
    September 30, 2012 at 17:59

    I’ve been more than a little hysterical about this since, oh, about 2004 or so. We’ve got touch screen machines here, and I no more trust the results than I trust Money Boo Boo to save the safety net.

  147. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:33

    Chris, I’m with you. Although hubby says Americans will not elect a morbidly obese politician in this day and age…for the top office.

    Setting aside his weight, I think people overstate Christie’s viability as a presidential candidate. But your husband may right about Americans not wanting to elect a fat guy. Of course he’d be worse off as a fat woman. As Christine Christie he’d never have made it to governor.

    But who knows. Alot of Americans had fun repeating that Hillary Clinton is ugly and has fat thighs, or whatever. That was their story and they stuck to it. I shouldn’t pretend to be able to understand them.

  148. Pere Ubu said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:45

    i rate for ren and stimpy…

    There were a lot of people irate about Ren & Stimpy.

  149. BringTheNoise said,

    October 1, 2012 at 18:57

    I listened to last week’s NPR Politics podcast today. Their “Obama’s way up in the polls just now, but they’ll even out nearer the time because they have to PAY NOT ATTENTION TO MITT BEING A WALKING DISASTER UNFIT TO RUN A SACK RACE, NEVER MIND FOR PRESIDENT” talk would be amusing if it weren’t the worst type of “balanced” anti-journalism hackery imaginable.

  150. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:16

    Hillary Clinton is ugly and has fat thighs

    calves…which is why she tends towards those hideous pants suits…and you’re right…if christie was a woman, yipes…i can’t imagine what would be said…she certainly would not be taken seriously…i’m so glad american politics is so advanced!

  151. jim, who's getting a little bit of a kick out of ZOMG ORANGE TEXT HIGHLIGHTING WTF said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:17

    As formative larval-era animations go, I rate for this thing, even though the animation blows serious goats & the stories are all cheesy & hackneyed as hell.

    i’ve only been 47 for two days and i am already exhausted

    Red Alert From 47&1/2town: ditto.

    Luckily, I get threeeeeeeeee days off as of this morning.

  152. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:21

    Yeah, that’s why they have Bobo fucking Brooks on. But you also get

    DAVID BROOKS: First, that is an abomination, that people are voting already before the debates. It should never be allowed.
    [HAHAHAHAHAHA -PM]

    [blah blah content free blah blah]

    JUDY WOODRUFF: How do you read this? And how do you explain the fact that the president seems to be doing better in the swing states?

    MARK SHIELDS: I have a different theory.

    And the theory is that Mitt Romney is the first presidential candidate in — certainly in the last 35 years who wherever he campaigns does worse. And I think that’s his real problem.
    [cites unfavorables for FL and OH]

    The more they see him, the less they like him.

    HA!

    http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/politics/july-dec12/shieldsbrooks_09-28.html

  153. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:21

    Those guys knew what recycling was all about.

  154. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:24

    lesson learned: when you live in a predominately scandahoovian area, typing ‘andersen’ into a database doesn’t appreciably narrow your results…

  155. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:25

    Loony Tunes. Always and forever.

  156. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:27

    Luckily, I get threeeeeeeeee days off as of this morning.

    enjoy, buddy…and please do not spend these precious few days trolling certain areas of wingnuttistan…but if you do, just give us a heads up…oh, and stay thirsty, my friend…

  157. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:27

    Loony Tunes. Always and forever.

    i just mostly love the ones where bugs bunny dresses up like a girl bunny…

  158. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:43

    And such a fetching little girl bunny he is too. Love those eyelashes!

  159. Dick Cheney said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:55

    i see him as always being the loyal, gruff but loveable second banana…

    Grrr…one outta three ain’t bad. Are you gonna eat that puppy?

  160. CRA said,

    October 1, 2012 at 19:55

    Here are the museum we’re having a member show, about 200 submissions by local artists. Someone did a portrait of Obama, and there’s one of Paul Ryan, but no Mitt.

  161. Major Kong said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:01

    Loony Tunes. Always and forever.

    I gotta go with this one. Some have come close, but never surpassed.

  162. Whale Chowder said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:02

    Oh man. From Pup’s link, Bobo parodies himself perfectly:

    So, Obama, I think his task is reasonably clear, just be calm, stay calm, whatever that British slogan we’re all repeating now, stay calm and in control, whatever it is. And so he just has to be calm.

  163. CRA said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:15

    whatever that British slogan we’re all repeating now

    What’s all this, then!?

    But seriously, what’s Brooks trying to say? Is there a hip british slogan about staying calm? Whatever it is, I like mine better.

  164. M. Bouffant said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:18

    It’s not hip, it’s from WWII. Which may be hip to Brooks.

  165. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:21

    Someone did a portrait of Obama, and there’s one of Paul Ryan, but no Mitt.

    ahhhh…so revisionist abstracts aren’t represented?

  166. M. Bouffant said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:21

    Alternate for Mitt:

    Parodies of the poster, with similar type but changing the phrase or the logo (for example, an upside-down crown with “Now Panic and Freak Out”), have also been sold.

  167. M. Bouffant said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:21

    Abstract revisionism?

  168. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:34

    Abstract revisionism?

    whatever mr. fancyschmancy art guy! don’t make me flip-flop on the new term i coined…why do you hate american ideas?!?!?

  169. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:52

    It’s not hip, it’s from WWII. Which may be hip to Brooks.

    Well it’s boring. I think that throughout the debates, Obama should periodically interrupt Mitt with loud cries of “What’s all this, then!?” in a Cockney accent.

  170. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:57

    Well it’s boring. I think that throughout the debates, Obama should periodically interrupt Mitt with loud cries of “What’s all this, then!?” in a Cockney accent.

    and then when mitt tries to say something, obama’s got to throw in a ‘bollocks!’

  171. Whale Chowder said,

    October 1, 2012 at 20:57

    I always liked “Mind the gap!” myself. Words to live by.

  172. Candidoc said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:02

    Hurray for my state! “Pray away the gay” has been banned in CA!

  173. Pryme said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:04

    Finally…the truth has been revealed!

  174. Candidoc said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:06

    For anyone interested, read more https://mail.alliant.edu/owa/redir.aspx?C=mn-Ga_FGoku5w6MNe26sFMjrYN2cc88I5gVJdmnV1YjuKaO-ZrV5yrX6Bgu0aee3ObetjF8s7YA.&URL=http%3a%2f%2fwww.sfgate.com%2fnews%2farticle%2fState-bans-gay-repair-therapy-for-minors-3906032.php%23ixzz284I8Ucpf.

  175. Candidoc said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:06

    Holy crap. FYWP

  176. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:19

    DrDick said,
    The modern GOP is simply a delusional death cult and has been increasingly so since 1980. They have now entered Heaven’s Gate / Bob Jones territory.

    Excellent! I found a comet for them to worship. This one will have a spaceship in its tail, guaranteed!

  177. Pere Ubu said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:22

    A lot of people don’t know this, but the brighter the comet the more likely there’s an alien spaceship in the tail cruising for human souls.

    They teach that in the secret Astronomy 102 sessions.

  178. jim, who's getting a little bit of a kick out of ZOMG ORANGE TEXT HIGHLIGHTING WTF said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:38

    Dunning-Kruger Simplex FTW!

  179. tigris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:40

    Obama should periodically interrupt Mitt with loud cries of “What’s all this, then!?” in a Cockney accent.

    Must start with “oi” and end with “guvnah.”

  180. Merry Sukkot Everybody said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:44

    I heard some d00d in TeeVee last night (who didn’t seem to even be identified as a GOP hack) proclaiming that Obama is a lier because Obama said he’d decrease partisan rancor but in fact DC has grown more and more partisan (someone pass me the smelling salts). Also, Harry Reid has failed to get anything done in the Senate, too (what’s this filibuster you keep mentioning?).

    I guess the GOP and the Villagers who love them have turned into the political equivalent of that bully who takes your hand, uses it to slap your face and then asks you why you keep slapping yourself.

    Unfortunately, bullies are still too popular in this country. For example, a lot of people still love them some Chris Christie. BTW, how many people are so in denial of their racism that they cannot even bring themselves to tell a pollster that they are going to vote against Obama but in the privacy of the voting both, they won’t vote for him?

    While Team Obama needs to be sure not to do anything while their enemy is hanging himself (except for maybe giving him more rope), I hope they are not resting on their laurels. I worry the election will in fact end up being close enough for the GOP to steal.

  181. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:48

    While Team Obama needs to be sure not to do anything while their enemy is hanging himself (except for maybe giving him more rope), I hope they are not resting on their laurels. I worry the election will in fact end up being close enough for the GOP to steal.

    me too…

  182. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:51

    …bacon bacon bacon…

    Quoting all you baconinstas up above to say that last night I harvested the one heirloom tomato I managed to grow and used it to make a BLT that was de-fucking-licious! Hopefully I’ll manage to get few more yummy tomatoes from friends that can actually grow them so I can repeat the dining experience again before the season’s over.

  183. M. Bouffant said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:54

    I worry that if Obama wins the right will rise in violent revolution.

    I also worry that if Romney wins the left won’t rise in violent revolution.

  184. M. Bouffant said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:56

    Y’all miss the bacon in the sidebar from Oregon B.S.’s link?

  185. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 1, 2012 at 21:59

    Y’all miss the bacon in the sidebar from Oregon B.S.’s link?

    In their defense that link from the last thread was wrapped in a thick layer of alliteration that was already past its sell-by date.

  186. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:06

    I’d say I’m worried that Obama will win, lurch even further to the right, and the left will say, “It’s o.k. because a Republican would be worse”.

    But I’m not worried about that.
    ~

  187. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:06

    Must start with “oi” and end with “guvnah.”

    Once as a young fellow I was riding in a car with some knuckleheads. At a stoplight, I spotted some dogs out for their walks having an encounter. An English bulldog was getting his ass vigorously sniffed by a Yorkshire terrier. It seemed terribly British, so I blurted out “Tongue me bum, guv’nor!” (as if the bulldog was saying it). The problem was that nobody else in the car had noticed the dogs. The dipshit driving the car just repeated the phrase as a question, uncomprehendingly. It was awkward.

  188. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:10

    I blurted out “Tongue me bum, guv’nor!”

    [car passengers]
    “What, again? Christ, you’re insatiable. Ok, pull over.”
    [/car passengers]

  189. Whale Chowder said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:29

    “Tongue me bum, guv’nor!”

    I’ll take Kate Middleton Roleplay for $1000, Alex.

  190. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:36

    Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies are clearly the best. They had the best characters, the best writing, and some of the best traditional animation of all time. Disney animation is usually great, on a technical level and otherwise, but the Warner Bros. character animation conveyed personality like no one else’s.

    I’d say Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain were very much spiritual successors to Looney Tunes*, but it’s hard to compete with the masters. Also, the animation, although sometimes great, was usually standard TV quality (and sometimes worse, depending on what Japanese studio was doing the animating).

    *I was going to include Freakazoid here, but it doesn’t really fit. I consider Freakazoid to be one of the best, certainly one of the most underrated, television cartoons, but its humour is more Monty Python meets Abed from Community than it is Looney Tunes. There was a recent video explaining how Freakazoid was in many ways a prophesy on what Internet culture would become.

  191. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:36

    It seemed terribly British, so I blurted out “Tongue me bum, guv’nor!” (as if the bulldog was saying it). The problem was that nobody else in the car had noticed the dogs. The dipshit driving the car just repeated the phrase as a question, uncomprehendingly. It was awkward.

    if it’s any consolation, i would have lol’d uncontrollably at your witticism whether i had seen the dogs or not…

  192. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:43

    They had the best characters, the best writing, and some of the best traditional animation of all time.

    The sound and music deserve a lot of credit.

  193. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:43

    “Tongue me bum, guv’nor!”

    What many Englishmen said to Romney when he was there.

  194. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:44

    The sound and music deserve a lot of credit.

    What’s Opera Doc? Best cartoon ever or best cartoon EVAH?

  195. tigris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:45

    They had the best characters, the best writing, and some of the best traditional animation of all time.

    Carl. Stalling.

  196. tigris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:46

    Oh fuck you guys.

  197. Golem Heart said,

    October 1, 2012 at 22:53

    The sound and music deserve a lot of credit.

    You beat me to it. I can’t prove the Animaniacs (for ex.) don’t have good music, but the old pre-digital studio system guys did great work. Interesting scores well-played, shifting styles and tempos on a dime. Witty stuff. I think us kids were given an aural education in cliches and associations. If somebody’s drugged or falling asleep, you hear the whole tone scale a la Debussy, etc. As a musician, imagine sight-reading those cues, cold.

  198. Whale Chowder said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:08

    “Tongue me bum, guv’nor!”

    The Brits always have a more polite expression for everything, in this case “Tongue-jack my shitbox!”

  199. Yoop said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:08

    What,…no Bullwinkle love?
    Fractured Fairy Tales, Peabody and Sherman, Commander BRAGG fer fuksake?

    Shaping the childhood? No.
    Warping the adulthood.

  200. Major Kong said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:23

    What,…no Bullwinkle love?

    Where moose and squirrel?

  201. Helmut Monotreme said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:25

    The Brits always have a more polite expression for everything, in this case “Tongue-jack my shitbox!”

    no no no. They would use cockney rhyming slang to render something rude into something that could be uttered in polite company. “Tounge-jack my shitbox” therefore becomes: “Lungwax my clitcocks”.

  202. Major Kong said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:25

    I always liked Dexter’s Laboratory and Courage the Cowardly Dog.
    Not the best ever, but some of the best in recent years.

  203. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:28

    What,…no Bullwinkle love?
    Fractured Fairy Tales, Peabody and Sherman, Commander BRAGG fer fuksake?

    underdog also ruled…and i liked go, go gophers at the time, but highly doubt i could stomach any of it now…

  204. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:29

    oh, i forgot about dexter…i still use a couple of catchphrases from that…i usually caught bits and pieces of modern cartoons from when i had kids at home…

  205. tigris said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:31

    I miss Eek the Cat.

  206. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:36

    Yes, thanks, everybody, I forgot to mention the music and sounds. A big part of what made them work.

    I can’t prove the Animaniacs (for ex.) don’t have good music, but the old pre-digital studio system guys did great work.

    Animaniacs used an orchestra too, and did a number of episodes with about certain kinds of music or entirely done to music (with no voices, etc.). Like I said, it was a spiritual successor in a lot of ways. They also did a bunch of shorts where Wakko belched along to classical music pieces…yeah.

  207. bbkf said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:41

    They also did a bunch of shorts where Wakko belched along to classical music pieces…yeah.

    ALWAYS classy…

  208. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:49

    I dig pretty much all the cartoons everybody’s mentioned. Hell, I even enjoyed the old “Justice League” crap with the “Wonder Twins.” But yeah classic Looney Tunes I think rate the highest, followed by the Animaniacs (esp. the episode where they spoofed Apocalypse Now) and others. Oh, and Space Ghost.

    I can tell there’s an evening of random cartoon searching for me ahead.

  209. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:51

    Chris Kluwe is doing something I long thought impossible – he’s turning me into a Vikings fan.

    http://blogs.twincities.com/outofbounds/2012/10/01/out-of-bounds-blog-no-14-problems/. <= totally lacking in lustful cockmonsters, SFW

  210. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:53

    Someday the truth about Dr. Benton Quest and Race Bannon will come out, so to speak.

  211. tsam said,

    October 1, 2012 at 23:54

    There’s no need for discussion beyond Looney Tunes.

  212. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:02

    There’s no need for discussion beyond Looney Tunes.

    So what, we’re just s’posed to go back to butt wine?

  213. smut said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:14

    So what, we’re just s’posed to go back to butt wine?

    You left butt wine??!

  214. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:25

    You left butt wine??!

    You don’t leave butt wine, butt wine leaves you.

  215. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:31

    Hell, I even enjoyed the old “Justice League” crap with the “Wonder Twins.”

    That was Super Friends. Justice League was a much better show from the early 2000s.

  216. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:40

    There’s a spark of magic in your ass
    Candyland appears when you pass gas
    Never thought that fairy tales came true
    But they come true when I hear you poo
    You’re a flagon in disguise
    Full of wonder and surprise

    Buttchug by golly, wow

  217. bbkf said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:41

    Chris Kluwe is doing something I long thought impossible – he’s turning me into a Vikings fan.

    he is a pretty amazing dude…sounds like he could fit in here pretty easily but i s’pose with having a profeshional cureer, he don’t have the time…anyhoo, i adore him, but i will NEVAR be a viking’s fan…

  218. bbkf said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:42

    oh, and a belated thanks, i think to pere ubu, for the lyrical chugalug/buttchug…i lol’d…

  219. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 2, 2012 at 0:53

    That was Super Friends. Justice League was a much better show from the early 2000s.

    You’re right. Did that one have Aquaman too? He was always the best.

  220. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:09

    See, Aquaman doesn’t just kill bad guys, he kills entire threads.

  221. Whale Chowder said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:10

    Chris Kluwe is doing something I long thought impossible – he’s turning me into a Vikings fan.

    I’ve always been a bit of a Vikings fan. I once dreamed of playing in their offensive line. Then I grew up, or rather everybody else grew up around me.

    ANYway, Chris Kluwe is turning me into a fan of Chris Kluwe.

  222. Nym said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:23

    You’re right. Did that one have Aquaman too? He was always the best.

    Aquaman showed up in a few JLU episodes as a rather grim, Namor-esque type.

    I think you would’ve vastly preferred the Aquaman who was in Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

  223. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:28

    Throwing water balls was always funny.

  224. Golem Heart said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:45

    The late, great studio guitarist Tommy Tedesco (the most recorded guitarist in history) shared this anecdote:

    “One day I got a call [...] to do a cartoon series. On the job the music went back and forth from acoustic to electric guitar. Halfway thru the job I used my own discretion whether to play electric or acoustic on any given part. At the end of the day the producer seemed to like what I did. A few weeks later at a screening of the cartoon, the producer was horrified by what I had played. It turned out the acoustic parts were for the pretty lady in the cartoon and the electric parts were for the villain [...] I haven’t worked for that producer since.”

  225. Anonymous said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:57

    Someday the truth about Dr. Benton Quest and Race Bannon will come out, so to speak.

    If you’ve kept abeast of Harvey Birdman, you’d know the answer to this, and many other, questions.

  226. Anonymous said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:58

    FYiP!!! ABREAST

  227. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 2, 2012 at 1:58

    For water-related comic-book heroes see also Flippa Dippa.

  228. Stackozone said,

    October 2, 2012 at 2:00

    FYiP ABREAST

  229. Pupienus Maximus said,

    October 2, 2012 at 2:48

    If you’ve kept abeast of Harvey Birdman, you’d know the answer to this, and many other, questions.

    The question I’m most curious about is whether Hadji was with them willingly – and if so whether he came to that later or was he willing from the get-go – or was he bought, stolen, etc. Does Harvey Birdman’s breast have the answer? Also, was bandit neutered?

  230. Major Kong said,

    October 2, 2012 at 2:50

    Anyone here watch The Venture Brothers? It’s a total spoof on Johnny Quest (plus a few others).

  231. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    October 2, 2012 at 3:06

    Venture Bros. is great, but it only used Jonny Quest as a bare-bones inspiration. It’s moved onto bigger and better things, becoming its own show in the process.

    For a pitch-perfect pure Jonny Quest parody, look no further than the one episode cartoon Toby Danger (originally written for Animaniacs, but shown on Freakazoid instead). It copies the bad animation, stilted voice acting, and everything else. It’s really funny.

  232. Nym said,

    October 2, 2012 at 3:32

    IIRC they got the original Benton Quest and Race Bannon voice actors to do their parody versions on Toby Danger, making it even more effective.

  233. Major Kong said,

    October 2, 2012 at 3:59

    I remember Toby Danger. It was a dead-on spoof of Johnny Quest.

  234. bbkf said,

    October 2, 2012 at 4:43

    i am currently fulfilling the glamorous role of photographer’s assistant…i am un-labeling and then re-labeling prints for hubbkf’s big art show this weekend…some people might think doing this while drinking a nice chianti and listening to elton john is lame, but those people should THINK AGAIN…

  235. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 2, 2012 at 4:45

    They had the best characters, the best writing, and some of the best traditional animation of all time.

    Carl. Stalling.

    Where would Carl have been without Raymond Scott?

  236. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 2, 2012 at 4:50

    Someday the truth about Dr. Benton Quest and Race Bannon will come out, so to speak.

    You mean the fact that Race Bannon is really Anderson Cooper?

  237. stackozone said,

    October 2, 2012 at 5:07

    Someday the truth about Dr. Benton Quest and Race Bannon will come out, so to speak.

    You mean the fact that Race Bannon is really Anderson Cooper?

    No, that there’s more than a little cross-dressing and beach volley-ball going on in Race’s “off-duty” life…

  238. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 2, 2012 at 5:31

    No, that there’s more than a little cross-dressing and beach volley-ball going on in Race’s “off-duty” life…

    And not in Anderson Cooper’s “off-duty” life?

  239. bughunter, more than a little pissed off, said,

    October 2, 2012 at 5:39

    Goddamn Tony Fucking Romo.

    All he had to do was throw two touchdowns and 200 passing yards for my fantasy team to go 2-2… what does he throw? FIVE FUCKING INTERCEPTIONS.

    Good. Fucking. Bye.

    I’ll take Joe Flaco over Tony Romo. Hell, I’ll take Carson fucking Palmer.

    That’s what I get for letting the computer run my draft.

    Fucking computers.

    Oh, also… I can AHEM all you bacon+italian sycophants. My meatball recipe from last weekend had a whole pound of bacon. I used the leftover meatballs to make lasagne this week. My Nonna would be proud.

  240. Bitter Scribe said,

    October 2, 2012 at 5:49

    Bears rule!

  241. Cerberus said,

    October 2, 2012 at 6:06

    New post.

  242. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 2, 2012 at 6:07

    Oh, also… I can AHEM all you bacon+italian sycophants. My meatball recipe from last weekend had a whole pound of bacon. I used the leftover meatballs to make lasagne this week. My Nonna would be proud.

    My take is that la vera cucina is about using what’s available well, it’s not about pedantry and snobbishness.

    All he had to do was throw two touchdowns and 200 passing yards for my fantasy team to go 2-2… what does he throw? FIVE FUCKING INTERCEPTIONS.

    Fantasy sports lead to some weird fan reactions- you want a player to run 800 yards in a game, but you want his time to lose. Bizarre…

  243. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 2, 2012 at 6:25

    Where would Carl have been without Raymond Scott?

    There were other things he could have gone to.

  244. Spengler Dampniche said,

    October 2, 2012 at 6:52

    BringTheNoise said,
    October 1, 2012 at 18:57

    I listened to last week’s NPR Politics podcast today. Their “Obama’s way up in the polls just now, but they’ll even out nearer the time because they have to PAY NOT ATTENTION TO MITT BEING A WALKING DISASTER UNFIT TO RUN A SACK RACE, NEVER MIND FOR PRESIDENT” talk would be amusing if it weren’t the worst type of “balanced” anti-journalism hackery imaginable.

    This.

    The media has broken into two sides: those who are going with the “Mitt Romney couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel” angle, and those (lamentably including NPR &c.) who want it to be the same old fucking horse race as always, with both contestants neck-and-neck until at least three days after the election.

    It’s better than usual, in which the entire range of media are determined to get a photo finish, which the Republicans then claim was shooped to make the Democrat look taller. But the fact that anybody is claiming this will turn into a standard close race shows just how complaisant they are.

  245. Rip said,

    October 2, 2012 at 7:35

    Gotta love how the conservatives keep going back to 2010 to ease the butthurt of Romney’s disappearing chances.

    McCain got 600,000 more votes in Ohio in 2008 than Kasich did in 2010.

    Nationwide, almost all the Republicans that flipped seats in 2010 got less votes than the losing Republican did in 2008.

    If they are pegging Romney’s baseline on 2010 turnout for Republicans, then Obama could shed 35% of his voters from 2008 and still win in a walk.

  246. deering said,

    October 3, 2012 at 14:49

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH for reminding me of the shittiest of M. Night’s shitty movies.”

    Never saw THE HAPPENING, did you…

  247. Brandon McBride said,

    October 5, 2012 at 22:32

    I don’t see how any of this relates to dentistry…

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