You are tearing me apart, Poll Numbers!
Robert Stacy McCain and/or His Live-In Gimp Smitty, The Slightly More White Supremacist McCain:
Do You Believe the Ohio Polls?
It’s been an interesting
week couple of weeks campaign life for The Smiler this last while now. Between gleefully cheering the events in Libya in the hopes of turning it into his Iran Hostage Crisis (forgetting the all important role CONTRAs have in bribing a group of foreign terrorists to throw you an election) and declaring that people are parasites if they think they have a right not to starve to death in the streets, The Smiler has taken whatever small chance of winning this election he might have had and fired it into the sun. Even with the resurgence of Jim Crow bullshit voter suppression laws, “poll defender” vigilante crews vowing to intimidate voters, and daily sacrifices to Beelzebub the Hanger of Chads, Romney is polling somewhere below Candiru fish.
Heck, Five Thirty Eight has The Smiler’s chances of winning at around 16.2% and even the Fox News polls are saying it looks like we’re about to get a repeat of the Obama/Keyes race.
Now for wingnuts, who have spent decades convincing themselves that their 27% compatriots speak for a vast silent majority that think exactly like them, these polls serve as a violent reminder of reality and really there is only three ways for them to react to the harrowing likelihood of a second ScaryBlackMan term.
1) Realize that they are the discarded refuse of history and its far beyond time they learned to grow up and accept the world as is instead of the half-remembered nostalgias of child-BWAHAHA, yeah, I can’t keep a straight face. This will never happen.
2) Prepare their Kool-Aid dispensers and tin-foil hats for another 4 years of ensuring that anything the black man wants to do is adamantly opposed by whatever dirty tricks the Legislature can throw at him.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Polls and the very act of polling are a conspiracy of lies working against Republicans and thus we must oppose them and seek to destroy them and replace them with “balance” with the same fervor we have against all other sources of information about the so-called real world.
Yeah, that’d be the most popular option amongst the mouth-breathers. But don’t take my word for it. Take it away, Drunky McCain…’s bitchboy*.
A recent series of three polls — by the Washington Post, Quinnipiac and Fox News — show Mitt Romney getting blown out of the water in Ohio,
So let’s see here, three separate polls all are saying the same thing even though two of them at least have a vested interest in selling a much closer horse race. Truly this can only mean that pollsters have joined the same crusade of falsehoods and deceptions as scientists.
and those of us who are skeptical about these numbers (c’mon, 10 points?) are being derided as “poll denialists.”
At this point, I just can’t help but smile as every single half-wit conspiracy theorist who wants to straight up deny vast swaths of reality uses the same bloody lines. They are all “skeptics” who are “just asking the hard questions”. And what’s best about this is they all do this despite no actual skeptic anywhere being called a “faith healer denialist” or a “psychic denialist”.
But hey, it really is unfair how those of them who are just a little skeptical about the shape of the Earth are being derided as “round-Earth denialists”.
It is worth pointing out that these polls were all taken in the immediate aftermath of the “secret video” uproar
And everyone knows that it’s no fair when things a candidate says and believes have an impact on their chance of winning. Doesn’t reality know that conservatives are allowed “take backsises” on having to deal with any consequences resulting from their actions?
, and all of them are now at least five days out of date. The Fox poll was taken Sept. 16-18, the WaPo poll was taken Sept. 19-23 and Quinnipiac’s poll was taken Sept. 18-24.
Thus they all fail to take into account… Obama’s secret video tape releasing rabid squirrels on the populace? The Smiler’s new ad featuring the Memory Eraser from Men in Black to try and make everyone forget the last week? That our mayfly-like populace is now several generations removed from that video and thus has no need to remember it?
Gimme something, Confederate McCain. Anything!
There has been no new public polling since Monday, which is significant in that Paul Ryan and Romney spent three days this week campaigning in Ohio — Lima, Cincinnati, Dayton, Columbus, Cleveland and Toledo.
Of course! They forgot to take into account that… Mitt Romney made an appearance in Ohio… several in fact.
Er… I’m not sure how to tell you this, but despite your beliefs that positions of power are simply handed to you by right, here in America, we have elections where people actually have to campaign. And thanks to the dysfunction of our electoral system, this mostly means the candidates touring around the same handful of “battleground states” hoping to bribe enough voters to swing a couple of states their way.
Simply doing one’s job isn’t really a game changer unless the other side is so inept they forget they have to campaign to win elections**.
We must ask: Do polls matter more than the campaigns themselves?
Do the national media control the narrative to such an extent that 4,000 people turning out for Romney in Toledo can be dismissed as irrelevant?
A whole 4,000 people, huh? That’s close to what The Smiler is hoping to get on Election Day. Zing!
Is all the grassroots effort by Americans for Prosperity moot?
Were all the efforts to strip away campaign financing limits, openly suppress voting in swing states, and openly calling for a return to Feudalism wasted? Is there no amount of money left to convince a majority of Americans that a black man is so scary they might as well elect a petty sociopath who thinks food is a luxury good?
We’re still four days away from the first debate, Wednesday in Denver, and yet we are being told that Obama’s headed for a landslide victory in Ohio, and thus re-election Nov. 6.
That’s true, we should wait for the calvacade of horrendous gaffes that circus produces before we nail those coffin lids shut. I mean, I think we can get into the single digits if we really try. Hey, let’s make South Carolina into a swing state! There is no bottom.
Really? Reports of declining Democrat registrations don’t justify even a tiny smidgen of doubt about this allegedly foregone conclusion?
Declining Democratic registration huh? Yes, it does turn out that starts to thin out a bit once everyone to the Left of Hitler has already registered Democrat and is planning to vote even if they have to pole vault over a shark tank.
But maybe I’m being mean and the next sentence is all about how raw numbers of new registrations is favoring Republicans what with a new surge of swing voters excited at the prospect of voting for the candidate that thinks payroll taxes don’t count as income tax but wants us to believe that he’s the better candidate on economic issues.
Let’s consult another poll:
A new survey by Gallup asked Americans how much trust and confidence they have in the mass media — newspapers, television and radio — when it comes to reporting the news fully, accurately and fairly: a great deal, a fair amount, not very much, or none at all. The result shows that “trust” disappeared long ago. Trust becomes disgust.
Gallup has been taking this measurement over the past decade or so, and the erosion of trust has been consistent and steady since at least 1998. Twelve years ago, 53 percent of Americans told Gallup that they had “a great deal” or at least “a fair amount” of trust in the media. By this year, only 40 percent of Americans put their trust in newspapers, television and radio to tell them what’s going on in the world. A remarkable 60 percent said they had “not very much” trust or “none at all.”
Or it’s a note that people have stopped trusting the MSM when they abandoned any semblance of journalism in favor of giving Republicans so many handicaps that they’ve had to start actually physically handicapping Democrats. Mostly with crowbars.
No, sorry, you’re probably right and it’s proof of the Secret Pollster Agenda.
How do underdog candidates — and let’s admit Mitt is the underdog at this stage of the campaign — cut through the media filter?
Money? Fox News? An entire right-wing internet literally begging to run with any talking point scrap that can be thrown their way?
Already tried those to no avail. Hmm.
Ooh! Have you tried smoke signals yet? I think we might be onto a winner here. Get me Karl Rove on the phone!
On Wednesday, for the first time, Americans are going to get a chance to see Romney and Obama on the same stage, head-to-head, and if you think that debate is going to be a walkover for Obama, you don’t remember the Jan. 26 debate in Jacksonville, Fla., where Mitt fatally lacerated Newt Gingrich.
And as long as Obama is as easy a target as Newt Gingrich, there should be nothing to worry about.
Keep in mind that Romney doesn’t have to be declared hands-down winner of that debate in order to “win.” All he has to do is to “look presidential,” avoid gaffes and get in a couple of good zingers and everything that happened before will be forgotten.
To “win” the debate? Probably. Given the usual handicap given to Republicans, he probably only needs to show up and remain conscious (otherwise known as looking presidential) to be declared the “winner” by the talking head brigade. But given the current unbelievable gulf in the poll numbers and the fact that not even people planning to vote for Romney like him, I’m pretty sure he needs to have God descend in Rapture and declare Romney His chosen candidate just to pull even.
Should that happen — if Mitt scores at least a draw in the first debate — the narrative changes and, by the time Paul Ryan meets Joe Biden in the Oct. 11 vice-presidential debate, we’ll be hearing about a race that is a neck-and-neck horse race.
Are you really certain you should be giving away the scam on how punditry works in your favor in the midst of ranting about how it only looks like you’re not tied because Lieberal Media Bias Judaism?
I mean, you’re right, I imagine the various paid-off shills working for the picked-over husks of our major media outlets will indeed be looking for any excuse on the planet Earth to declare the race “too close to call” and talk about “Obama in trouble” because he didn’t spend enough time running as a Republican. But that has about as much impact on reality as… well, you.
Yet there are those Ohio polls, and there are those who are willing to take the polls as evidence that the campaign is all but over.
I assumed that the link embedded in this sentence went to one of the various wingnuts who have decided to “adjust the poll numbers for accuracy” by just adding 8 percent to Romney’s scores for “balance” because having polls favor one candidate over another is bias, donchaknow.
But no, it’s just to a link that shows Obama with a nearly 6 point lead in one of the five swing states that Romney needs to sweep just to stay alive in November. I’m not entirely sure what SubstanceAbuse McCain’s intended point was, but I think it got lost in stupid.
Doug Ross lists some of the improbable beliefs necessary to buy into this argument:
[Y]ou have to believe that the Tea Party never organized or simply disappeared into thin air
[Y]ou have to believe that Obama’s act of adding $6 trillion — 60 percent — to the national debt, which has resulted in the country’s first credit downgrade, is wildly popular . . .
[Y]ou have to believe that the 2010 tidal wave election never happened
You don’t believe that, do you? No, of course not.
I do believe in Santa Christ!
Oh sorry. But yeah, it is the cutest thing ever seeing the wingnuts on their knees wishing please for Market Forces to bring them a stolen election and a jetpack as their cognitive dissonance hums gently in the wind.
Why, acknowledging reality would mean that our glorified Klan meetings were just an overhyped media fad hoping to distract people from the real populist anger. That the 2010 election was just a standard midterm election where we performed a little below expectations. And that whining about the debt while people continue to starve, go homeless, die of preventable diseases, suffer from abnormal weather patterns, and go without jobs for years at a time without a functional safety net doesn’t actually endear you to voters or make them care about your obvious attempt at a misdirection.
And that’s just unpossible!
Frankly, despite all the certainty of the pollsters and pundits, I don’t think most people in Ohio (or anywhere else) are paying much attention to the campaign at this point.
Ignorance will save us! As long as no one cares enough to pay attention, then The Smiler still has a chance!
In the parking lot of this McDonald’s in Galion, there is not a single car with a bumper sticker for either Obama or Romney and, driving around the state this week, I haven’t seen a lot of yard signs.
The “parking lot” in question would be the nearly pitch black picture included at the top of his post which depicts a single rural McDonald’s sign and two cars which are so buried in darkness you can’t even tell if the cars even have bumper stickers.
Also, Galion, OH***, you say? Yeah, I’d be fucking petrified if I didn’t see any bumper stickers for The Smiler and I was a Republican. Galion went 59% for McCain in 2008 (note that Ohio went 51-46 for Obama). They went 64% for Bush in 2004. It is so much in rural Crackerville, that its white population of 97% is only 2 less than Obama’s current approval rating among black voters. If there is one city that should be wall-to-wall Smiler signs, it should be Galion. If it’s a ghost town, that’s about as strong a confirmation of the polls as one could ask for.
But really, this paragraph underlies the real problem, if I may be serious for a second. Wingnuts have spent so much time walling themselves off from any knowledge of anyone different than the tiny inbred circles they allow themselves to engage with that they’ve forgotten that other places and people exist. Of course, the podunk small town that Smitty McClownShoes walks around is the same as everywhere. If there’s no signs there, then there must be no support for Obama anywhere. After all, no one at the Church meetings is planning to vote for him. Obviously, then, the only way he could be leading in the polls and winning elections is through demonic possession and fraud.
It is amazing that wingnuts manage to maintain this complete hermetic isolation from knowledge of the outside world despite regularly and actively posting on the World Wide Web. That’s no longer denial at that point, but rather some form of incredibly self-destructive superpower.
Obama may be ahead in Ohio right now, but the campaign is far from over, because many voters haven’t yet made up their minds.
Please Bob let this A) be true and B) last until we finally find a reboot for The Smiler that doesn’t involve us having to admit The Smiler exists.
The attempt by the Obamaphile media to create the appearance of an early decision — with the help of the polling firm of “Madoff, Marist, Quinnipiac and Ponzi” — ought to be rejected as the propaganda ploy it really is.
Experienced mango divers are encouraged to enjoy the linked article. It’s all sorts of Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Understand that most Ohioans are currently more concerned with Ohio State football (the Buckeyes beat Michigan State 17-16 today) than they are with the upcoming election. These sensible Midwesterners, who two years ago elected Republican John Kasich govern0r and Republican Rob Portman to the Senate, are unlikely to buy into a lot of media hype going ’round.
No, no, I’m serious. Our only hope for The Smiler to even have a fighting chance in this election is to pray to Bob that the electorate is lazy enough and ignorant enough that they don’t even realize that there’s a national election.
We can only hope that the NFL scab refs and Reality TV have kept people so distracted they didn’t even notice us calling them worthless moochers. Luckily, I think we got away with it.
After all, if people really were paying attention, it would have been reflected in something like the poll nuuuuuungh.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I’m not entirely sure how much further away from acknowledging reality wingnuts can drift before they physically become Morlocks. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
* I kinda have to assume so, seeing as how RS McHangsNegros no longer includes a byline on his posts. Apparently, he’s no longer sober enough to post his own rants about the perfidy of anyone with melanin.
**Though I can understand why wingnuts may find this novel and odd, considering that most of The Smiler’s opponents were this fucking inept.
***Given how I’m pretty sure RS Pinafore McCain bursts into flames every time he travels above the Mason-Dixon Line and is last reported as living in Maryland, I think we can safely saw that Unpaid Intern Smitty is the writer of this and every post on McCain’s site.