Sep
25

Taming of the Slut




Posted at 9:18 by Cerberus

1. You’re a Slut. 2. Your slutty sluttiness. 3-10. SLUT! WHY ISN’T THIS MAKING YOU GO MAKE MENFOLK SAMMICHES AS IS YOUR PLACE?!?

Jeannie DeAngelis, American UnghUnghUNNNNH!!!:
Sextra Credit and the Rehabilitation of Sluts*

Oi. This election season. I mean, every time the Smiler opens his mouth is a wonderful gift from Snark Heaven, but boy howdy is it tanking the usual output from the psychotics and the sociopaths. So many endless reams of run-of-the-mill IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION as the right wing loses any and all hope of convincing themselves that they are going to stop the endless gulags of our Nigger in Chief.

It’s not that these posts aren’t still insane. It’s just that they are so very defeated, not bothering with the interesting novelty that makes right-wing dementia so… unique to behold. Where is that old can-do moxie?

Oh, hey, what’s that? It’s our old reliable friends at American Thinker with some fine aged wisdom for us.

Shorter (or the second to last port before Jungle):

  • Slut slut slut slut. Slut slut slut slut. Sluttity slut, sluttity slut!

Alternate Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Ignorance is the best defense against unwanted pregnancies and STDs. P.S. Every single woman who admits sex exists is a dirty filthy slut who must be climbing into every rubbish bin she can find to sate her insatiable thirst for cum.

So I see Republican outreach to women voters is going strong.

So what’s the origin of this week’s crusade against the vagina-wielding infidels?

Once again the left has inadvertently vindicated Rush Limbaugh.

Of course it is. King Rushbo helped lead everyone off the cliff in the first place by trying to Michelle Malkin Sandra Fluke in service to declaring the Pill an enemy of the People. And now that the drug-addled pederast has won himself… attention for declaring that feminazis are responsible for his tiny penis, we apparently get a repeat of dimwitted C-listers following their hero into the What the Fuck singularity.

All right, take us down the rabbit hole, cap’n!

On the Facebook page “Planned Parenthood Info for Teens,” there is a link to a Planned Parenthood site with a page called “Info for Teens.” In the “Ask the Expert” section, our tax dollars are used to school kiddies on after-school activities like masturbation, oral sex, and “blue waffles” (more commonly known as sexually transmitted diseases). For visual learners, there are also links to colorful roadmap-type “diagrams” of male and female genitalia.

So if you’re a sane person, you might see a description like that and think “huh, that sounds suspiciously like a run-of-the-mill sex-education FAQ**, which wouldn’t at all be out of place on the website of a sexual health service like Planned Parenthood”.

If you’re sane and not boringly pragmatic, you’re probably stuck on the “blue waffle” line with your mouth permanently stuck in “what the fucking shit” mode.

If you’re sane, not boringly pragmatic, and too curious for your own good, I don’t need to tell you the context cause you’ve already clicked over. For those of you with functioning survival instincts, it turns out “Ask the Experts” is far from the porno holocaust promised and the “blue waffle” question referenced is a question from a scared teenager asking about it and Planned Parenthood calmly explaining that it’s an urban myth created mostly due to kids not having much access to sex education resources that aren’t complete fundie crap.

Apparently, our genius in residence here couldn’t make it through an entire FAQ entry intended for children and thus mistakenly categorizes the debunked myth as not only real, but a euphemism for all STDs everywhere.

But really, I see no evidence that we’re woefully lacking sex education resources in this country.

Obviously, PP should be ashamed of themselves for admitting sex exists and providing some small outreach for scared kids trying to understand what’s happening to their bodies and what to watch out for as they explore romantic relationships for the first time.

One Facebook post asks the question: “Why are girls who have sex with a lot of guys called sluts and guys called players?” In response, the unofficial guide to Savage U, MTV Extras Sextra Credit teacher Francisco Ramirez, obliges truth-seeking high school students by providing answers to questions on the fine art of sluttery. Francisco reminds confused teens that “there is a little bit of slut in all of us,” so why not just embrace our inner sluttiness?

(flip flip flip)

I’m sorry, but did I skip a page somewhere in here? We were just ranting about Planned Parenthood’s sex education site and now we’re suddenly talking about a random MTV show***. What’s go-

Wait…Sonuvabitch!

This is just a random enemy’s list Jeannie threw up on behalf of her fellow sexphobes so they can react like the market audience for the “Movies movies” (“Durr, I recognize that reference. Iz funny!”)!

Okay, let’s see if we can predict the list of dog-whistle targets for our Two Minute Hate.

Well, first up’s gotta be Sandra Fluke.

Speaking of Sandra Fluke,

Yup, no credit there. But bonus points to Jeannie for trying to invent a joke so devoid of humor that it nearly formed an anti-joke destroying all humor which might come near.

Let’s see next… hmmm, I’m going to go with “slutty co-eds” or something else from porno land.

instead of attending Class 6 — “The Reproduction Right” — in the Statutory Rights of Copyright Owners fall series at Georgetown Law School

I’mma count it for half credit. Also I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the link she provided goes to a class on copyright law. “Reproduction right” is on the legal right to reproduce a work with and/or without consent. I’d call it an attempt at humor, but frankly that would be too low a blow even for me.

the reproductive rights advocate should have played hooky and joined the kids in Sextra Credit w/ Francisco. If only the War on Women’s Joan of Arc had done what the Facebook teaser suggests and occupied “a seat in the class and let Francisco school [her] with his lecture on slutty slander!,”

Jeannie has an odd medical condition where she is apparently so utterly tormented by her life-long dry spell that she is unable to read any sentence but in raw sexual single entendre. So copyright law becomes Impregnation 101 and a random MTV bonus video on why the word “slut” has no real meaning other than sexphobic abuse becomes… some sort of S&M thing, I guess. Honestly, I’m used to traversing the damaged sexual psyches of many a wingnut, but this one is a whole new entity entirely.

I’d say she’s got a mind like a sex-obsessed Labyrinth, but I’m afraid she’d use it as an excuse to post Minotaur hentai.

the entire Rush Limbaugh slut imbroglio could have been avoided.

Of course. If she… learned that slut-shaming existed (or maybe Jeannie honestly believes that “slutty slander” was some sort of endless gangbang sex dungeon)… she surely wouldn’t have told congress basic facts in counter to an attack on women by clueless old white men in funny hats and thus wouldn’t have earned a permanent place in the “Women we must destroy at all costs” penalty box.

Cause it’s just not quite victim blamey enough unless you can feel Logic’s spine snap in your jaws.

For the record, the sexpert/provost of Savage U is Dan Savage,

NO, really? I thought you meant Michael Savage or one of the many other men with the last name Savage who are high enough on the sexphobe hate list to get second-billing Satan to Planned Parenthood.

the gay activist who, at an anti-bullying speech, told students in the audience to “learn to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about gay people.” Savage then bullied the offended Christian students who walked out by calling them “pansy-asses.”

Yeah, how dare he try to reduce teen suicide rates among young queers and stand against cowardly bullies who hide behind religion and children to commit their hate crimes. Truly he is the Darth Maul to Planned Parenthood’s Darth Sidious.

Sandra Fluke, who took on the pansy-assed Catholic hierarchy on abortion and contraception, would likely accept as gospel Dan Savage’s faculty member Francisco’s evolved definition of the true meaning of the word “slut.”

Hey, you said it, not me. But yeah, while she was whipping the butt of the Child Molester Crime Syndicate and their attempt to try and claim ownership and complete dominance of every employee everywhere, she probably was fully aware of how the word “slut” is used to try and dismiss any woman in public who gets on the bad side of sexist men.

And if not then, she probably found out immediately afterwards when the entire right-wing decided that their only response to the liberal bias of facts was calling her a slut over and over in the hopes that would make her decide to give up her lady-bits to the Stepford Men’s Association.

Apparently the right-wing is still baffled that this strategy didn’t work.

In Ramirez’s S.L.U.T. class, the sexpert stresses that “people who feel judged, isolated and weird about their bodies and about sex” are usually the ones who interpret being called a slut in a negative way. If Ms. Fluke felt “vilified by Limbaugh’s” comments, it could mean that Sandra’s view of her own sexuality is in dire need of positive reinforcement.

The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Monday, September 24. It was cold in Los Angeles. We were working the Logic slaying case out near the La Brea Tar Pits. I was on my way to work, 11:18 PM, when I got the call. The final missing pieces were found. Corner of Main and 4th, the 12th dumping ground in less than a week.

Seriously, I’m surprised she didn’t pull something trying to strain her brain like that.

During his slut class, Mr. Ramirez says that calling girls who have a lot of sex sluts “makes zero sense” and lacks “fairness,” and that sluts everywhere should “stand up for equality [and] stop the slut-shaming.” Francisco also provides context by teaching a chapter on the history of sluts. If Ms. Fluke had been up to date on her slut history, the feminist would have known that “400 years ago [slut] was an affectionate term for a housemaid.”

Considering all this new information on sluts, it could be that Sandra Fluke and the whole “war on women” contingency misunderstood what Rush Limbaugh actually meant. It may be that Limbaugh’s reaction to Sandra’s demand for truckloads of free contraceptives wasn’t an insult at all, but rather a complimentary acknowledgement of Fluke’s healthy proclivity for playful promiscuity. Wasn’t it Ramirez who pointed out that “[c]alling someone a slut is good”?.

Well of course, in much the same way as a white-hooded redneck yelling “Nigger” at the President is easily understood as a commiseration on the role hip-hop has played in African-American musical expression…

Or maybe, we, unlike you, are not mentally 12 and understand what reclaiming something means and we understand the difference between a bigot being a douchecanoe and an attempt by minority members to blunt a historical weapon against said minority group.

But then, that might be hard to grasp for a group that is still bristling at the injustice of Lil’ Wayne being allowed to use the word nigger when they are no longer allowed to lynch any black person who dares earn themselves a middle class lifestyle even though they are totally “ruining the neighborhood”.

Furthermore, even President Obama could tone down his “slut-shaming” a bit. After Rush Limbaugh insulted Fluke, Obama took time out of his busy day to call the law school grad. The president praised Ms. Fluke on her commitment to citizenship and mentioned to her that her parents should be proud their daughter demanded free contraceptives on national TV.

If only America’s most ardent Planned Parenthood president had attended Francisco Ramirez’s class prior to making that call, maybe he would have shared how proud he would be to have his own young daughters referred to in similar terms. And for reasons other than “speaking out about the concerns of American women,” he could have congratulated the Fluke family on having a daughter associated with a word some liberals apparently feel “should only be used for good.”

And so, after a nationwide hullabaloo over calling Sandra Fluke a slut, we come to find out that the insightful conservative radio talk show host may have actually complimented the Georgetown coed — which leaves Rush once again being vindicated by the very progressives who consider him their arch-nemesis.

If Planned Parenthood, Barack Obama’s beloved abortion provider, approves of the word “slut” being used as a tribute to sexually liberated women, it’s Rush Limbaugh who deserves the public apology, not Sandra Fluke.

Naturally. By not being gullible morons who are unable to handle linguistic complexity harder than “See Dick… rule over Jane his entire life with an iron fist”, it is truly liberals who are the facists of Liberal Slut Shaming.

See what I mean about the wingnuts not bringing their A-game? A mere couple of months ago, there’d be an angry treatise on Slutwalk and how only slut-shaming can stop the gay abortion welfare queens calling the New Black Panthers to take away everyone’s guns.

Now they can’t even be bothered to finish their reflexive women-hatred and Rush-worship with anything other than a pathetic “nuh uh, you” retread.

While I may have drunk deep of the bounty that has been The Smiler’s implosion, I fear it may only signal a coming fallow season for the next month and a half as the syphilitic in-breds of the right come to terms with just how utterly alone their band of malcontents are in this country.

Pray for rain, people. We’re going to need it.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Seriously, though, it’s spooky out there. You can tell that there’s not a wingnut welfare recipient out there who isn’t feeling like a complete chump at the moment. I think getting marching orders to claim a 1998 inoffensive video about a no-duh beat a couple month video declaring nearly half of America untermenschen has broken most of them. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Someone desperately needs to get laid.

**Every time I read a wingnut melting down with regards to our already weak standards of sex education in this country and claiming it’s all how-to guides to performing triple anal in the bathroom stalls, I find myself wishing their nightmare world was real. Imagine a world where teens actually got comprehensive education resources on how sex works and how to safely explore things. Something to allow them to experiment and see what they like and don’t without having to wade through internet misinformation like “blue waffle disease” or “rinsing your vag with coke will totally prevent pregnancy”.

Actually?

Fuck imagining things. Send every teen and pre-teen you know a link to the Midwest Teen Sex Show instead. It provides comprehensive real sex education information about actual sex topics in a snarky informative way that understands kids and doesn’t think that keeping them ignorant and afraid will prevent hormones from existing. Cause fuck the fucking prudes and their denial-based approach to sex education.

*** It’s Dan Savage. It’s MTV. And oddly enough, the only thing she could find to freak out about was a random other guy on an extras vid explaining why “slut” is kind of a meaningless insult because there is no real definition of what is a “slut” or why being a “slut” should be so shame-ridden. But then, given the freakout over Slutwalk… and hell, the freakout over every reclamation effort ever, I guess there’s nothing that winds up bullies more than having one of their favorite toys yanked away by their victims and turned into a badge of pride.

741 Comments »

  1. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 25, 2012 at 9:51

    Impregnation 101?

    I never saw that in the Blue Book!
    ~

  2. sk00kum said,

    September 25, 2012 at 11:20

    Second!

  3. ianmorris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 11:42

    blue waffle is shock site/bait and switch meme
    http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/blue-waffle
    i’m just glad some readers of American Thinker might get exposed.

  4. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 12:29

    an excuse to post Minotaur hentai
    Thanks to my perfect recall for Analog cover art from the 1970s, <A href=http://www.booksfromthecrypt.com/p9-1612.jpgI am able to help you there.

  5. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 12:31

    Let’s try the Minotaur hentai again:
    href=http://www.booksfromthecrypt.com/p9-1612.jpg

  6. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 12:33

    Also available from Riddled Enterprises: Minotaur slash-fic.

  7. Cole said,

    September 25, 2012 at 12:40

    And so, after a nationwide hullabaloo over calling Sandra Fluke a slut, we come to find out that the insightful conservative radio talk show host may have actually complimented the Georgetown coed — which leaves Rush once again being vindicated by the very progressives who consider him their arch-nemesis.

    DOH!! Foiled again! When will we ever learn?

  8. Cole said,

    September 25, 2012 at 12:48

    It’s no question that people like this DeAngelis character are likely mentally ill, and I suppose I should be a bit appreciative that the Republican party has given them a place to feel at home, but I can’t help wondering of the party is somehow enabling their psychoses.

    I mean, it’s very kind of the party to abandon any hope of political future just to comfort the mentally ill, but they need to follow through and help them with treatment, as well. Otherwise, it’s one of those paths to hell paved with good intentions.

    Just saying.

  9. Thread Bear said,

    September 25, 2012 at 13:56

    If all the mentally ill were to recieve proper treatment, it would mean the end of the Republican party.

  10. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 15:28

    On the Facebook page “Planned Parenthood Info for Teens,” there is a link to a Planned Parenthood site with a page called “Info for Teens.” In the “Ask the Expert” section,

    so, jeannie has actually seen this with her own eyes…not that that matters because, you know, she’s doing it wrong…do you suppose that any of her wingnutteers also boldly waded through the slutty waters to check it out for themselves? and once they get there, do their brains sleepily remember once being useful while it dimly registers that what they are seeing is not what was promised by jeannie? or does their facts denying ability kick in to over drive?

    yeah, i’m guessing neither of them…i’m betting they just take jeannie’s words at face value and make clucking noises to themselves about the sluttiness of the slutty left making everybodie’s children into the sluttiest sluts ever and then crank up the volume on the old teevee and settle into more fox news viewing…

  11. TBP said,

    September 25, 2012 at 15:30

    Reading the comments there is always distressing, but oy veh. Months after the Sandra Fluke imbroglio and apparently not a single conservative in the country has actually read her testimony or an accurate summary thereof.

  12. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 15:48

    “Bullied”.

    So, calling a bunch of oversensitive Bible-fappers “pussy-asses” like the pussy-asses the indeed are is JUST EXACTLY LIKE the bullying Dan Savage talks about, which is physical and mental abuse to the point of driving kids to suicide.

    EXACTLY THE SAME. Gosh, I’m so glad we could clear that up.

  13. bughunter said,

    September 25, 2012 at 15:49

    Haven’t finished reading Cerb, but it’s worth getting off the boat -or at least hanging over the side- for DeAngelo’s bonus photomango: Rush showing off the size of his boner.

  14. bughunter said,

    September 25, 2012 at 15:51

    All this talk about sluts is gonna send me back to my bunk. There’s one there.

    BBL.

  15. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 16:29

    zomg…the comments over there are literally amazing…it’s just breathtaking to take in all the crazy over there…here’s a few mangos, but really, you gotta go see them all…

    Don’t hold your breath waiting for liberals to acknowledge their own hypocrisy

    ???

    All this talk about immoral women and homosexuals (or as an old friend of mine used to say to a group of young Christians, “Edify, you idiot!”) causes one to wonder about the fate of Monica Lewinsky. She is preparing to release a “tell-all” book about her relationship with Mr. Bill. Why? Apparantly Monica can’t get a real job and is probably destined to remain single the rest of her life. She does need to make a living, doesn’t she? All of this talk about how great it is to be a loose women is just that, talk. If it is so great being a Democrat “slut,” then why is Monica forced to wear The Scarlet Letter? If this is all true, she should be celebrated, not shunned. This treatment is far above mere hypocrisy. Hopefully Monica will find faith someday and a gracious man who will look beyond her past.

    jeez…thanks mr. prehistoric!

    I hope I never become so jaded that I am no longer shocked. Ever since this despicable treasonous excuse for a human being took occupancy of our White House aided and abetted by liberal/progressive/Democrats/racists/immoral LOSERS, disbelief that this has happened and utter fury that this nation is disintegrating into a cesspool sanctioned by the “pRezident” and his disgusting followers has caused such anger, frustration, and heartache that it is unbelieveable. Only here at AT and with family and friends and other like-minded and AWARE people do I not feel like a stranger in my own country which is increasingly harder and harder for me to recognize. Just his having not been impeached for treason is both sobering and WRONG. A vote for him is an act of treason. Those who vote for him are his accomplices in this destruction and in the murders of the unborn and the suffering promised the elderly via rationing and denial of health care. I cannot comprehend it sometimes and, yet, here it is.

    nancy tannebaum=full on crazy…one can only imagine the family reunions…

    here comes dj jazzymixedmetaphor:

    this from facebook, who consistently censors the posts of males who speak their minds. it’s amazing that there are any men left, dumb enough to even get married anymore. it says a lot about how stupid men really are that they allow themselves to be treated in such a manner. our society is like a frog in slowly warming water. when the end comes, who will do the heavy lifting?

    i can only wish that fb censors the posts of males who speak their minds because unfortunately, most of them are dumbassess…

    keeping it classy:

    I’m surprised that no one has thought of this because it’s so obvious: a PR suggestion to Ms. Fluke. Changer her last name by dropping out the L, insert a C between the U and the K, and drop the E; and there you have it.

    hayseed:
    … Or maybe a simple calling card for Ms Fluke:

    Sandra Fluke, Nymphomaniac
    Have condoms. Will travel.

    Pul+from+SA:

    Nymphomaniac? No, different definition.
    She should adverstise that she has sex only with strange, poor, irresponsible boys.

    then after a bunch of ‘now they are going to make sex with animals legal…i read it somewhere’ that quickly moves into some hillary bashing, we are presented with rush limbaugh…american heero:

    You know what? It wouldn’t surprise me one bit to learn that Rush Limbaugh considers himself the Hummer who sets off IED’s for the protection of conservative politicians everywhere. He says it before one of them can, and then he takes the heat.

    and i will leave you with ‘how do these here intertubes work?’

    …Such intolerant behavior by the left or the right makes my skin crawl, so I came up with a way to expose this supremacist as the little girly man he truly is: Someone should edit his YouTube speech by replacing every instance of the word “Bible” with “Koran” and repost it.

    After all, the Koran has even more strident opposition to homosexuality, so we’ll be doing Mr. Savage a favor by helping him fight for his beliefs. He should thank us for spreading his message beyond just the passive Christian audiences.

    He’s a big shot when he’s mocking and ridiculing Christians; let’s see whether he’ll stand by his principles when we help him mock and ridicule Muslims too. Remember, we’re just helping to spread his views to a wider audience, so it would be cowardly and hypocritical for him to object to such posting.

    I hope someone with the technical know-how does this. No need to conceal the fact that the word Bible was replaced by the word Koran. Pointing it out would just reinforce the hypocrisy.

    Chris Garr:
    Awesome idea! Imagine the squirming by this (removed). But, how would you get it out to the public? You-Tube? About five minutes after it was put up they’d just take it down. It’s said that the wheels of justice turn slowly, but I’ll bet they’d lay rubber for a quarter-mile to issue an injunction against something like this.

    yeah! and then obummer will send the brownshirts to arrest you!

  16. g said,

    September 25, 2012 at 16:41

    For visual learners, there are also links to colorful roadmap-type “diagrams” of male and female genitalia.

    This is a shocking thing? These diagrams were a standard element – if not the ONLY graphic element – of my “learn about menstruation” classes in 1965.

  17. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 25, 2012 at 16:52

    Even shorter: I’m running out of whores to chop up. God’s going to be pissed.

  18. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 17:01

    Whores are theft!

  19. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 17:02

    colorful roadmap-type “diagrams” of male and female genitalia

    Which exit do I take to get to the Isles of Langerhans?

  20. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 17:15

    A vote for him is an act of treason. Those who vote for him are his accomplices in this destruction and in the murders of the unborn and the suffering promised the elderly via rationing and denial of health care.

    Anyone else really really hoping Election Day isn’t as exciting as I worry it might be with folks like this running around loose?

  21. D Johnston said,

    September 25, 2012 at 17:21

    Anyone else really really hoping Election Day isn’t as exciting as I worry it might be with folks like this running around loose?

    “Running around loose”? I bet the guy who posted that hasn’t left his house in six months. That’s my impression of most of the people over there – why would you comment on American Thinker if you had regular contact with other human beings?

  22. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 17:48

    “Running around loose”? I bet the guy who posted that hasn’t left his house in six months. That’s my impression of most of the people over there – why would you comment on American Thinker if you had regular contact with other human beings?

    and commentater nancy really bears the truth on that, doesn’t she…she readily admits that she only associates with like minded people who will grasp at the ‘our white house and government’ till long after they die…

  23. JohnR said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:02

    “Which exit do I take to get to the Isles of Langerhans?”

    I believe you want the map at the front of Bored of the Rings; that classic novel of high-fantasy and low-humor by the Harvard Lampoon of treasured memory. That should set you straight. So to speak.
    As an aside, I’m not sure how these leaping lemurs would explain that my wife (a former slutty sluttish slut who out-slutted even slutty Sandra Fluke) and I (a former Republican) have been married reasonably happily for coming up on a quarter-century. We have nothing in common other than a real enthusiasm for slutty sluttishness, but it turns out that’s all you need if you’re slutty enough. I have to figure that these folks who leap about, hooting and shrieking and throwing their poop, are really, really warped about sex. Same as they have been for millennia.

  24. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:32

    how-to guides to performing triple anal in the bathroom stalls
    Interest, newsletter, video &c.

  25. Thread Bear said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:34

    You haven’t truly been whored till you’ve been Mongolian whored!

  26. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:36

    Goddamnit, I took a wrong turn and now I’m stuck in the Loop Of Henle.

  27. Scott S. said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:37

    Anyone else really really hoping Election Day isn’t as exciting as I worry it might be with folks like this running around loose?

    I’m a little worried about ‘em, ’cause they’ll find some screwloose ex-vets to go shoot up a post office or bomb a federal building. And after that, the usual suspects will get pumped up hooting about the upcoming Glorious Republican Revolution of Killing Everyone Who’s Brown.

    And immediately after that, when they realize that 99.9% of the rest of the country actually takes a really dim view on violent douchemooks and if they keep up with the hooting, they’re not going to be able to visit the local Scooter Store without someone beating them down with a portable toilet, we’ll be witness to the Grand Shutting-Up of the Wingnutosphere.

    Maybe I’m a little optimistic, but I remember how fast the militias vanished after the OKC bombing didn’t win them the acclaim they’d hoped for. And the current crop of wingnuts is a LOT more cowardly and a LOT less able to contribute to any revolutionary movement. I mean, you can’t beat the whole country with three dozen military vets and ten million basement dwellers/elderly cranks.

  28. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:38

    People becoming unhinged by a young woman openly admitting that she is sexually active is nothing new. Google “Linda LeClair.”

    (Oddly, when you do, the first thing that comes up is something from Althouse. Apparently Ann can’t get over the fact that a college kid lived with her boyfriend forty-four years ago.)

  29. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:40

    the entire Rush Limbaugh slut imbroglio could have been avoided.

    Yeah, if he’d kept his useless piehole shut.

    Don’t hold your breath waiting for liberals to acknowledge their own hypocrisy

    “One person is insulted by someone saying something meant to be taken as an insult while another completely different person said we should work to rob the word of it’s insulting power! HYPOCRISY!!!” HELLO I ARE DUM.

    when the end comes, who will do the heavy lifting?

    I’mma invent a combo winch/vibrator/bug stomper/lid opener…

  30. Tommykey said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:44

    Months after the Sandra Fluke imbroglio and apparently not a single conservative in the country has actually read her testimony or an accurate summary thereof.

    Tell me about it. A few weeks ago a friend on FB posted a picture of Fluke with the caption along the lines of her spending something like a hundred bucks a month for smart phone apps but can’t afford her own birth control pills. I responded that it was a total distortion of what Fluke was advocating, which was that women who pay a portion of their salary towards their medical insurance plan which is part of their benefits package should receive contraception coverage. Fluke wasn’t crying poverty about how she personally could not afford it.

  31. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:45

    A vote for him is an act of treason. Those who vote for him are his accomplices in this destruction and in the murders of the unborn and the suffering promised the elderly via rationing and denial of health care.

    So be a patriot and vote for Stericycle totally-for-choice-before-he-was-against-it Romney and Ice Floe Ryan.

  32. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:50

    I think the point that Cerb is trying to make is not that “People getting unhinged by a young woman admitting that she is sexually active” is new, but rather that it is old, deprecated, tired out and over, and that the only people still flogging that particular dead horse have issues about which it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  33. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 18:56

    the only people still flogging that particular dead horse

    Hey, I don’t care what their sexual fetishes are, I just don’t want to hear about it.

  34. Snorghagen said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:27

    boldly waded through the slutty waters

    The explorers who searched for the source of the Slut Nile had to do that.

  35. Thread Bear said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:36

    boldly waded through the slutty waters

    Mermaids Isreal!

  36. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:41

    Seen here:

    State Rep. Mike Horner, a Republican from Kissimmee, has abruptly resigned his seat in the Florida House following reports linking his name to a prostitution investigation in Central Florida.

    Limerick contest?
    ~

  37. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:47

    our society is like a frog in slowly warming water. when the end comes, who will do the heavy lifting?

    And you thought flogging horses was a weird sexual fetish.

  38. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:52

    America’s sluttiness is intregal to it’s exceptionalism. Why do these fucks hate America????

  39. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:53

    A Republican coming from Kissamee
    Whose family values are weapons-free
    Was caught in a dragnet
    With the hooker and pimp set
    He quit ’cause “My family is pissed at me.”

  40. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:54

    Shorter Mike: “I didn’t do anything wrong AND I’m sorry.”

  41. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 25, 2012 at 19:54

    Limerick contest?

    There once was a Repub from Kissimmee
    Who’d slapped and tickled a miss or three
    Which he’d paid for in cash, but now said, abashed
    “I’ll go, but you’re all gonna missa-me.”

  42. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:00

    Who’d slapped and tickled a miss or three

    This tickles me.

  43. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:05

    This tickles me.

    Tickling is fine as long as you don’t pay for it.

    (Loved the “My family is pissed at me” line, BTW)

  44. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:05

    Mike Horner, R-Fla out of Kissimmee
    Left office in riddly mystery
    Was he just a straight John?
    Or was more going on?
    Did he open his mouth and say “Piss in me”?

  45. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:06

    Also, you’re welcome.

  46. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:07

    So…I read it. And aside from it being an unreadable jumble of random idiotic thoughts, her whole argument boils down to “Even liberals know that the word slut has slightly less offensive anachronistic meanings…so ha ha!–Rush was right!”

  47. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:07

    The fact is, Sandra Fluke. I have to say no more, the liberal shame and failure stench follows you. When you use someone like her as an example of a feminist, no wonder only the dregs of society will vote for you tax and spend agenda.

  48. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:08

    He’s a big shot when he’s mocking and ridiculing Christians; let’s see whether he’ll stand by his principles when we help him mock and ridicule Muslims too.

    It’s been a long time since I’ve listened to Dan Savage, but he does criticise Islam.

  49. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:12

    Little Mike Horner
    Went to the corner
    Noticed a piece of pie
    He partook of a slice
    Said “how very nice!”
    And now he regrets your concern.

    P.S. Horner earned a 100 percent rating from the Christian Coalition in 2009, its most recent legislative scorecard.
    ~

  50. Snorghagen said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:17

    Little Mike Horner
    Sat in a corner
    Licking a hooker’s thigh.
    Caught by the cops
    Reelection he drops
    And says “I deeply regret decisions I made that are causing my family unjustifiable pain and embarrassment.”

  51. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:22

    I like that wingnuts always think they’ve set this brilliant trap for liberals–we never quibble with Islam! But that’s not a real thing. A lot libs have the same problems with fundie Muslims as we do fundie Christians.

  52. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:38

    vs isn’t wearing her hijab again.
    ~

  53. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:40

    But I am wearing my Rachel Ray brand terrorist scarf.

  54. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:50

    I note with amusement Rmoney’s support at intrade is now 27%.

  55. Chris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:51

    I like that wingnuts always think they’ve set this brilliant trap for liberals–we never quibble with Islam! But that’s not a real thing. A lot libs have the same problems with fundie Muslims as we do fundie Christians.

    I’ve said this a million times but – during the rise of the Taliban in the 1990s, the sole voice in the Washington wilderness crying out against them was the women’s rights lobby. Enough to sink an oil pipeline deal that was supposed to go through Afghanistan and that the Clinton administration had its heart set on.

    Needless to say, the GOP and religious right were absolutely nowhere to be seen until 09/11/2001.

  56. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:52

    But I am wearing my Rachel Ray brand terrorist scarf.

    It’s less muslim-y when you aren’t wearing pants.

  57. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 25, 2012 at 20:53

    I’m very disappointed that Gary’s post contained no misspelled words. (Unless you count the use of “you” for “your.”)

  58. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:07

    Sandra Fluke, who took on the pansy-assed Catholic hierarchy on abortion and contraception, would likely accept as gospel Dan Savage’s faculty member Francisco’s evolved definition of the true meaning of the word “slut.”

    I just love the confidence with which Jeannie just knows what Sandra Fluke thinks of Francisco’s definition of “slut.” The whole article is shot through with these speculative leaps used to tie the dog’s breakfast of “ideas” together.

    I’m sure Jeannie agrees with Mahmoud Amidinijad’s holocaust denial, and given her agreement with his homophobia, would gladly wear the moniker of Nazi Islamic Fundamentalist since he’s worked so hard to rehabilitate the term.

    Hey, I kinda like this trend.

  59. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:22

    I just love the confidence with which Jeannie just knows what Sandra Fluke thinks of Francisco’s definition of “slut.” The whole article is shot through with these speculative leaps used to tie the dog’s breakfast of “ideas” together.

    well, duh! it’s well known that sluts communicate only to other sluts…usually using the slut-signal (a giant vagina beamed into the night sky via federally approved red lightbulbs)!

  60. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:26

    via federally approved subsidized red lightbulbs

    Fixxerated for moar soshulism.

  61. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:29

    well, duh! it’s well known that sluts communicate only to other sluts…usually using the slut-signal (a giant vagina beamed into the night sky via federally approved red lightbulbs)!

    *applause*

    Where can I get one of those? AFAS.

  62. N__B said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:33

    Before you remove a mote from your neighbor’s vagina, remove the beam from your own.

  63. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:37

    I think the point that Cerb is trying to make is not that “People getting unhinged by a young woman admitting that she is sexually active” is new, but rather that it is old, deprecated, tired out and over, and that the only people still flogging that particular dead horse have issues about which it would be irresponsible not to speculate

    i think this dude sums them up nicely…the dichotomy of what they really do compared to what they think…not that he does any pearl clutching here about sluts being sluts, but he’s an american stinker adherent, so i gotta believe he is apalled that slutty sluts are slutting around…just not with him…

    I have enjoyed a few ‘sluts’ during my lifetime, but never was I asked to provide birth control for them. They assumed and checked, perhaps wrongly that I would not want to father a child out of wedlock.

    “Hey guy, are you wearing protection?” If not, get some or no sex.

    but this from Mike6 is now my hands-down favorite:

    Most of the single women I know voted for Obama and may do so again. Women are in love with his mesmerising voice, his magic smile, and big teeth. What have Chicago Democrats done for American women? The poor things are working two jobs and their out-of work fathers and sons( read Ivan Turgeniev’s masterwork novel when you have time) are hiding whiskey bottles in the attic.
    American construction workers are living out of their cars and feeding their kids dogfood.
    Obama and Moochlle are living like French Bourbon Kings, shooting too much golf, and Moochlle is eating too many fine steaks and gaining weight were it shows the most.

    i like how american construction workers living out of theirs cars and feeding their kids dogfood=bad but poor people living on the streets or having no feed their kids=a okay…

    and ladiez…did you know big teeth* are appealing to us? and his voice is nothing close to ‘mesmerising’…

    *you know what they say…

  64. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:38

    Before you remove a mote from your neighbor’s vagina, remove the beam from your own.

    my blahg shows a picture of hubbkf examing a vagina…

  65. Major Kong said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:39

    I’ve said this a million times but – during the rise of the Taliban in the 1990s, the sole voice in the Washington wilderness crying out against them was the women’s rights lobby.

    Even before that. Way back in the 1980s I recall women’s rights groups arguing against arming the Afghan “freedom fighters” because of their radical islamist view towards women.

    Back when me and my Air Force buddies thought it was cool to donate to the “Afghan Freedom Fighters Fund” because they were fighting those evil Ruskies.

  66. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:40

    Is the slut-signal useable from your comfortable hammock of government dependency?

  67. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:41

    I think it’s safe to say that no one has ever, or will ever, call Jeannie DeAngelis a slut.

  68. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:43

    Possibly pertinent to the present discussion in a way, though actually I just thought I’d share the weirdness:
    http://youtu.be/zxQDq87zQik

  69. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:44

    colorful roadmap-type “diagrams” of male and female genitalia

    Stop to ask for directions? I don’t think so.

  70. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:46

    At which point she said OUCH.

  71. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:47

    my blahg shows a picture of hubbkf examing a vagina…

    Talk about slashdotting your own blog.

  72. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:53

    Talk about slashdotting your own blog.

    is that better or worse than blogwhoring? afaf…

  73. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:55

    That’s right, women are just voting for Obama cuz he’s cute, having slumber parties, braiding each other’s hair, talk about how dreamy he is and writing “Mrs. Obama” over again in our notebooks. Jesus Christ.

  74. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 21:59

    That’s right, women are just voting for Obama cuz he’s cute, having slumber parties, braiding each other’s hair, talk about how dreamy he is and writing “Mrs. Obama” over again in our notebooks. Jesus Christ.

    wait…you don’t do that? oh…heh…me either! that would be totally gross!

  75. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:00

    On the other hand there’s the Hello Barry vibrator.

  76. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:02

    On In the other hand there’s the Hello Barry vibrator.

    Heh.

  77. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:02

    He’s also entirely to blame for deadbeat dads.

  78. Suezboo said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:03

    Completely and utterly O any T :
    I bought a car today. Well, when I say car, it’s a 1990s Honda Ballade. But it has the two salient features I needed : automatic (I can’t drive a shift thingy) and cheap (R18 000 – divide by 8 for $). It’s yellow and the engine works – my ideal vehicle.
    And yes, I am that crone puttering along at 20 km/hr in an ancient vehicle around my small town. That is me right there.
    I just had to tell somebody.
    Thank you for your time.

  79. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:05

    Back when me and my Air Force buddies thought it was cool to donate to the “Afghan Freedom Fighters Fund” because they were fighting those evil Ruskies.

    [CIA mansplaining]
    “Its hard work building an insurgency. It’s way easier to arm a bunch of violent moonshiners and snake handlers and let them do your fighting.”
    [/CIA mansplaining]
    Which I totally understand. But I totally do not understand why we kept funding them after the Russians left. I realize they did all the heavy lifting, but as events have shown, they were the last people that should have been allowed to run the place. Leaving the marxists and Soviets have their fun would have had one giant advantage, namely that it would have then been their problem.

    Plus, why did anyone imagine that our little trick of “give the violent extremists tons of cash and munitions and turn a blind eye to their herbal extract export business” would be just as easy for someone to do to us as it was for us to do to the Soviets?

  80. S. cerevisiae said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:06

    Well VS those silly womenfolk are easy prey for a slim dark man, that is obvious from his support from them. They can’t worry their pretty little heads about policy and Real Freedom(tm), it must be his secret Mandingo charm

  81. Anonymous said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:10

    That’s right, women are just voting for Obama cuz he’s cute, having slumber parties, braiding each other’s hair, talk about how dreamy he is and writing “Mrs. Obama” over again in our notebooks.

    Better than conservative sluts doing it with Karl Rove.

  82. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:12

    yay for you suezboo! may your yellow ballade run for many kilometers…have you named him/her yet?

    also, it must be his secret Mandingo charm

    where might one get a secret mandingo charm? if i drink enough ovaltine will i get to send away for one to put on my hunks of the world charm bracelet?

  83. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:19

    Better than conservative sluts doing it with Karl Rove.

    I just vomited in my mouth a little.

  84. Major Kong said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:20

    I bought a car today. Well, when I say car, it’s a 1990s Honda Ballade

    Had to look that one up. That’s equivalent to a “Civic” in the US market. Should be pretty reliable. I don’t recall anyone ever having problems with them.

  85. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:23

    All’s I know concerning the Mujaheddin thing is that Dana Rohrabacher, who thought they were all cool ‘n stuff back in the day to the point he hung out shooting guns with them, now is all squishy over the administration taking the MEK off their list of terrorist organizations.

    Which does not NECESSARILY mean members of the Iranian resistance will be flying planes into our buildings in 2032, but the precedent is there.

  86. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:24

    It’s yellow and the engine works

    Two important qualities. May she take you many kilometers.

  87. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:27

    I just vomited in my mouth a little.

    NOT SLUTTY.

  88. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:31

    It’s yellow and the engine works

    Just say ‘Asian.’

  89. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:38

    I just vomited in my mouth a little.

    That was me with that comment, and also…HAWT! Mmmmmm….Vomit..

  90. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:39

    I just vomited in my mouth a little.

    NOT SLUTTY.

    Rule 34.

  91. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:40

    Mrs. Vacuumslayer Rove…

    Nah. Doesn’t sound very sexy at all.

  92. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:40

    That was me with that comment, and also…HAWT! Mmmmmm….Vomit..

    I rest my case.

  93. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:45

    That was me with that comment, and also…HAWT! Mmmmmm….Vomit..

    I rest my case.

    either way, it’s better than what carl rove would do in your mouth…

  94. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:51

    either way, it’s better than what carl rove would do in your mouth…

    I LIKE WHERE THIS THREAD IS GOING

  95. Chris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:53

    Which I totally understand. But I totally do not understand why we kept funding them after the Russians left. I realize they did all the heavy lifting, but as events have shown, they were the last people that should have been allowed to run the place. Leaving the marxists and Soviets have their fun would have had one giant advantage, namely that it would have then been their problem.

    I wasn’t at all aware that we’d continued to fund them after the Russians left – I thought we’d just pulled out of the area altogether.

    Why did so much of our aid go to fanatics like Hekmatyar and other nice folks who would eventually become the Taliban? That’s easy; because the entire operation was being closely coordinated with Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, and they made sure all the aid was going to their closest pals – namely, fucking nutjobs. For Pakistan, Afghan and Afghan-trained terrorists (the more religious the better) are worthwhile because they can be pointed at India without too much trouble (or at worst, provide training, safehavens, etc for the India-centric terrorists). For Saudi Arabia, supporting a religious crusade in Afghanistan was a way of reclaiming their own God-cred at a time when Iran was trying to make itself the leader of the Islamic world – and also a way to get Saudi fanatics (the Bin Ladens of the world) out of the kingdom and point them at a foreign enemy rather than their own government.

    I don’t think the U.S. government ever really knew what it was supporting, not that ignorance is a defense. It was probably just “well, there’s all these tribes of angry Russia-haters, let’s just support the tribes that make our allies happy.”

    I’m really not sure what I think about the whole mess. In principle, allying with a godawful enemy to fight another godawful enemy is something I can get behind in some circumstances – no one complains that we allied with Stalin against Hitler, for instance. I’m not sure there were any groups we could have supported that would have been much better than the Taliban – most of the other options were other fucked up warlords (when they rose to power in the mid-nineties, the Taliban were very popular for a brief, shining moment, because people figured “at least they’re bringing order after half a decade of gangsters running the place.”) And the Saudis and Pakistanis would probably have funneled tons and tons of money to the Salafis regardless of what we did.

    With all those caveats in mind… I got nothing. I don’t find it as clear-cut a “we were wrong” moment as Iran-contra – for one thing, no one lied to Congress, and for another, what we were undermining in Nicaragua actually shaped up into a working democracy – not true of the government in Afghanistan, which came to power in a military coup and quickly turned into a Soviet client state, Eastern Europe style.

  96. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:57

    better than what carl rove would do in your mouth…

    *starts self-trepannation with melon-baller*

  97. Pat Buchanan said,

    September 25, 2012 at 22:57

    no one complains that we allied with Stalin against Hitler, for instance

    Hmmmmph.

  98. Chris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:00

    All’s I know concerning the Mujaheddin thing is that Dana Rohrabacher, who thought they were all cool ‘n stuff back in the day to the point he hung out shooting guns with them, now is all squishy over the administration taking the MEK off their list of terrorist organizations.

    Theoretically, I can see one way that could make sense – support anti-Iranian terrorists, then when Iran whines, tell them “fine, we’ll stop supporting them, if you stop supporting Hamas and/or Hezbollah.” Then see if they take the deal.

    In practice, I don’t think that’s what’s happening… because that would imply our government being allowed to cut any deals at all with Iran, which in the current climate just doesn’t seem possible.

    By the way, anybody catch this thing? (If so, I will humbly accept the inevitable “ahem”). Apparently, the Senate voted 90-1 (Rand Paul was the lone dissenting voice, fucking Christ, what a world it is when Rand Paul has a better grip on things than most Democrats) to “insist” that the U.S. government should do everything it can to prevent a nuclear Iran, and “would not rely on containment of a nuclear weapons-capable Iran.”

    Apparently, “all options are on the table” doesn’t include the option that worked perfectly well for forty fucking years against a country with vastly more power than Iran.

  99. Chris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:02

    Pat Buchanan said,
    September 25, 2012 at 22:57

    Sustained.

    The clerk will please amend that to read “no one with an IQ higher than the room temperature of a Siberian refrigerator.”

  100. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:13

    I’m really not sure what I think about the whole mess.

    It’s always the same dilemma in the parts of the world that were colonized and left with autocratic scumbags to run the places. Oppressed societies aren’t resisted by moderates. The moderates keep their heads down and try to stay alive. The ones brave enough to put up resistance are sort of put-upon to be violent, since tyrannical states leave no method for redress of grievances outside of armed insurgence. It takes multiple generations, a functioning government and economy, security, and education to produce a population of people that use democratic methods to instigate change–things we tend to take for granted here in the US while we snidely consider the whole Middle East to be some sort of third world bedowan hell hole.

    So who are we supposed to do? Stand by and let the Soviets turn Afghanistan into yet another satellite, or fund a particularly vicious resistance group that are known to be backwards, oppressive zealots, or let the backwards, oppressive authoritarians take over and do it all over again a few years later? Or maybe just sit it out and deal with the resentment over that and try to answer questions about why we intervene in certain places to prevent genocide and completely ignore it other places?

    This is why I don’t run for president. That and my less than stellar past. And I still have a soul and like it.

  101. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:18

    Apparently, “all options are on the table” doesn’t include the option that worked perfectly well for forty fucking years against a country with vastly more power than Iran.

    I was just saying to my co-worker today that the fix is in. I feel the same way I did in the run up to the Iraq invasion. When every news outlet and prominent talking head agrees that operation “Mess up Iran’s Shit” is a go, whatever Iran does, or doesn’t do is irrelevant. If Romney is elected, the only delay will be however long it takes to stage things for an opening night bigger than “Gulf War 2: Electric Boogaloo” (tag line: “this time our president assures us it’s personal, and totally not like daddy issues or something” which would work in Iran too I guess) If Obama is reelected i think it’s down to like a mere 85% chance American troops will be on the ground there this time next year.

  102. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:19

    Or maybe just sit it out and deal with the resentment over that and try to answer questions about why we intervene in certain places to prevent genocide and completely ignore it other places?

    that, my friend, is the million dollar question…

    This is why I don’t run for president. That and my less than stellar past. And I still have a soul and like it.

    mark twain offers some hope on that front…

  103. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:19

    Things were so much easier when it was us against the Commies.

  104. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:20

    So who are we supposed to do? Stand by and let the Soviets turn Afghanistan into yet another satellite, or fund a particularly vicious resistance group that are known to be backwards, oppressive zealots, or let the backwards, oppressive authoritarians take over and do it all over again a few years later? Or maybe just sit it out and deal with the resentment over that and try to answer questions about why we intervene in certain places to prevent genocide and completely ignore it other places?

    The crazy religious nuts would have gotten their funding from the Saudis anyway. Bin Laden was there and remained rich.

  105. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:24

    We weren’t all buddy buddy with Stalin, either. We did that out of pure necessity. If it weren’t for that 2 front war, the invasion in France could well have been repelled. We had our own 2 front war going at the time.

    It’s been speculated that the atomic bomb drops had a dual intent: End the war with Japan, and send a message to Stalin. As I understand it (via my history teacher in college), some historians believe that the atomic bombs were meant to be a bit of deterrent to the Soviets, as they had already expressed their intentions for Eastern Europe.

  106. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:28

    So who are we supposed to do? Stand by and let the Soviets turn Afghanistan into yet another satellite, or fund a particularly vicious resistance group

    The question is noncupatory. It implies that the best interests of the people living in the proxy-war battlefield ever crossed Carter & Brzezinski’s minds.

  107. David Irving said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:31

    no one complains that we allied with Stalin against Hitler

    Allying with Britain against Hitler was your first mistake.

  108. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:34

    It implies that the best interests of the people living in the proxy-war battlefield ever crossed Carter & Brzezinski’s minds.

    Well, those people have never crossed ANYONE’S mind, so no surprise there.

    And we seem to have fucked them over yet again, just as us filthy America-haters predicted we would back in 2001.

  109. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:43

    The crazy religious nuts would have gotten their funding from the Saudis anyway.

    And only Allah knows where those guys get all their U.S. dollars from…
    ~

  110. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:47

    And we seem to have fucked them over yet again, just as us filthy America-haters predicted we would back in 2001.

    I’m probably about to step in it here but…what choices did we really have in terms of Afghanistan? They weren’t going to give up Al Qaeda and we couldn’t let them stay under Taliban protection so…what?

    What alternative was there? Economic sanctions? Like we were already doing? Yeah, not so much.

    Taliban providing aid and protection to AQ really did amount to an act of war against the US.

    Granted, we fucked up literally everything after the overthrow but still.

  111. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:50

    So who are we supposed to do?

    Not Karl Rove, certainly.

  112. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:51

    Well well well. Off to search for ‘noncupatory’ as the only word I know of that’s close is ‘nuncupatory.” And what do I find? A post about Dafydd ab Huge http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/008683.html

    Still trying to find out if noncupatory is a real word or did Jack Vance make it up.

    In the process of which I find that I repeat myself.

  113. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:51

    we fucked up literally everything after the overthrow

    Yeah, pretty much not doing that would’ve been swell.

  114. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:56

    It’s hard to pick a military intervention that we haven’t fucked up literally everything after.

    At least since that big one in WWII.

    So when do we face the fact that maybe these aren’t such great ideas, and/or else that fucking it up is the entire point?
    ~

  115. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 23:59

    I’m probably about to step in it here but…what choices did we really have in terms of Afghanistan?

    I have no idea. I don’t know what our capabilities are/were and I don’t pretend to. Really, isn’t that the kind of thing we used to keep the CIA around for, instead of sending in tens of thousands of National Guard troops?

    But of course then there’s the fact that the eeediots who went in weren’t really interested in doing anything but blowing up what little hadn’t been blown up already, declaring “victory” and then moving on to Iraq, “because Afghanistan went so well how difficult could Iraq possibly be?”.

  116. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:01

    I’m probably about to step in it here but…what choices did we really have in terms of Afghanistan? They weren’t going to give up Al Qaeda and we couldn’t let them stay under Taliban protection so…what?

    I think that’s pretty widely conceded. The bigger issue, I think, was abandoning that mission for another larger and completely unjustified one.

  117. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:04

    So when do we face the fact that maybe these aren’t such great ideas, and/or else that fucking it up is the entire point?

    Well, Eisenhower figured it out when he put a stop to Korea. Then we seem to have forgotten about it since. It’s hard to learn from this shit when you have a bunch of fucking chickenhawks and John Wayne wannabe assholes running the government. And a propaganda channel that spends lots of time scaring the living daylights out of its viewers.

  118. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:04

    But of course then there’s the fact that the eeediots who went in weren’t really interested in doing anything but blowing up what little hadn’t been blown up already, declaring “victory” and then moving on to Iraq, “because Afghanistan went so well how difficult could Iraq possibly be?”.

    The invasion of Afghanistan shouldn’t have happened, but that requires believing that every politician in America who agreed with that would sacrifice their political career.

  119. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:05

    We really need a Hippocratic Oath of foreign policy: “First, do no fucking it up”.

  120. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:07

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  121. Chris said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:09

    It’s hard to pick a military intervention that we haven’t fucked up literally everything after.

    At least since that big one in WWII.

    It’s not the whole story, but it probably helps a great deal that during World War Two, we not only supported democracy but did so with a fuckton of economic aid (Marshall Plan) AND the countries we were rebuilding adopted the economic theories that dominated the United States at the time.

    Which they still do today. The difference is, back then the American economic consensus was New Deal Keynesianism, so it actually worked. Nowadays, the consensus is still Thatcher/Reagan. The adepts of that shit like to see the non-Western world as a testing ground for their little theories, hence “shock therapy” in Russia, implementing the flat tax in Iraq, etc – and surprise surprise, it’s always a fucking disaster. No idea if we did something similar in Afghanistan, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we had.

    More generally, I don’t think the government these days even thinks much about instruments of state power other than the military and intelligence community. Certainly Republican governments don’t. Probably explains a lot of the fuckups.

  122. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:12

    Well, Eisenhower figured it out when he put a stop to Korea.

    U.S. reluctance to overthrow Prime Minister Mossadegh in 1951, when he was elected, faded 28 months later when Dwight D. Eisenhower was in the White House and John Foster Dulles took the helm at the State Department. “Anglo-American cooperation on that occasion brought down the Iranian prime minister and reinstated a U.S.-backed shah.”

    That worked out great for some people, but not most of the planet.
    ~

  123. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:20

    The bigger issue, I think, was abandoning that mission for another larger and completely unjustified one.

    Och, aye lad. Absolutely. I was responding to this (not to pick on Pere Ubu particularly):

    And we seem to have fucked them over yet again, just as us filthy America-haters predicted we would back in 2001.

    I’m seriously interested in hearing what options short of invasion were available. Because I sure didn’t see any at the time but I’m willing to concede that someone else had clearer vision.

  124. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:21

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    What do you care, muslamofascist?

  125. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:28

    I’m seriously interested in hearing what options short of invasion were available.

    Well, apart from doing nothing – which might have worked out better for millions of people around the world! – shooting rockets at them, which had been done before.

  126. Smut Clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:28

    In the process of which I find that I repeat myself.
    Pupienus is objectively anti-linkist.

    I don’t think the government these days even thinks much about instruments of state power other than the military and intelligence community.
    And of those two, there’s been an effort to degrade the intelligence services and refocus them on internal surveillance.

  127. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:39

    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/35030.html#comment-1196021

    OKAY ALREADY?

  128. El Manquecito said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:41

    Doing nothing is always my first choice and it’s surprising how often it works out.
    Wanna get high and make out, the fallback position, is not to be discounted.

  129. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:48

    El Manquecito for President.
    ~

  130. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 0:54

    fuck me…i can never spell horsey doerveys right!

  131. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:03

    Related from Andrew McCarthy:

    In his U.N. speech, President Obama declared:
    The attacks of the last two weeks are not simply an assault on America. They are also an assault on the very ideals upon which the United Nations was founded — the notion that people can resolve their differences peacefully; that diplomacy can take the place of war; that in an interdependent world, all of us have a stake in working towards greater opportunity and security for our citizens.

    Put aside the first two fallacies — people cannot always resolve their differences peacefully; when war is necessary, because what it is fought over is worse, diplomacy is not an effective and just substitute.

    The list of things that are worse than war may be short, but I guess I can concede arugula.

  132. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:04

    My uncle used to call them “horse doovers.” Can’t tell for sure but I suspect he was kidding.

  133. Major Kong said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:05

    Put aside the first two fallacies — people cannot always resolve their differences peacefully; when war is necessary, because what it is fought over is worse, diplomacy is not an effective and just substitute.

    There never was a time when, in my opinion, some way could not be found to prevent the drawing of the sword. – General Ulysses S. Grant

  134. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:07

    There never was a time when, in my opinion, some way could not be found to prevent the drawing of the sword. – General Ulysses S. Grant

    Oh, well, go to a drunkard for a quote! He probably didn’t even worry about Shania law!

  135. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:09

    In his U.N. speech, President Obama declared:

    The attacks of the last two weeks are not simply an assault on America. They are also an assault on the very ideals upon which the United Nations was founded — the notion that people can resolve their differences peacefully; that diplomacy can take the place of war; that in an interdependent world, all of us have a stake in working towards greater opportunity and security for our citizens.

    odd then, that his nobel peace prize speech was a call to war in libya…

  136. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:37

    when y’all mensfolk was arguing about libya, i didn’t pay much attention…i’ve always been torn between do we act or not…but it’s one of those things i don’t devote a lot of time to…i really feel however, that if much of murka is all, ‘every life is sacred!’ that should include the brown dusky folks overseas…i would much rather go with a peaceful route, i agree with the old drunk grant (funny, that i would, eh?)…anyhoo, reading the interview with obama in the latest vanity fair was an eye opener for me in many ways…and it gave me much more respect for him…

  137. tigris said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:41

    For Substance

  138. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:47

    For Substance

    that pizza would make me barf…dislike arugula and absolutely despise walnuts…goat cheese i’m fine with…

  139. something bughunter said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:52

    In the “Ask the Expert” section, our tax dollars are used to school kiddies on after-school activities like masturbation, oral sex, and “blue waffles” (more commonly known as sexually transmitted diseases).

    If she’d bother to read the article about the unfortunate breakfast pastry, she’d find out 1) that Blue Waffles is and has always referred to a specific female condition, and certainly not all STDs, and 2) it’s a mythical disease, not even a real condition.

    And just five more minutes of research would have further revealed, 3) the myth started a juvenile internet in-joke, always linking back to the same picture of a rather distressed vulva… if I may say, a female variant of the goatse meme, and 4) that the myth itself is laden with slut-shaming connotations and implications:

    Never having heard of this disease (although, I did know “waffle” is slang for vagina), I asked my students to tell me what they knew of the “Blue Waffles.” They answered that it was a sexually transmitted disease that:

    * Could only be passed from females to males
    * Can develop in a female after “not washing her vagina” enough

    So, I may be jumping the gun here but I believe that this is a perfect example of how we as a society take pleasure in objectifying and vilifying women. Meaning, according to teenagers, “Blue Waffles Disease” is the result of an overly sexual (pardon my French) “slut,” who has no respect for herself or others. By googling this, you will be inundated hateful, vile, and harmful comments towards women – and it’s supposed to be funny.

    (A wholly inadequate copypasta from Womens Health Foundation. Read the whole thing.)

  140. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:55

    the myth itself is laden with slut-shaming connotations and implications

    Oh, then Jeannie is in favor of it?

  141. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:58

    For Substance

    It’d be for Smut if you traded the parchment for papyrus.

  142. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:59

    bbkf, what Obama has done overseas since January of 2009 has given me far less respect for him.

    Watch what he does, not what he says.

    The article explains that Obama’s rhetorical emphasis on avoiding civilian deaths “did not significantly change” the drone program, because Obama himself simply expanded the definition of a “militant” to ensure that it includes virtually everyone killed by his drone strikes.

    ~

  143. not something bughunter said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:59

    If she’d bother to read the article

    As in… the very Planned Parenthood/Ask the Experts/Info for Teens article she alluded to…

  144. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 1:59

    So, I may be jumping the gun here but I believe that this is a perfect example of how we as a society take pleasure in objectifying and vilifying women. Meaning, according to teenagers, “Blue Waffles Disease” is the result of an overly sexual (pardon my French) “slut,” who has no respect for herself or others. By googling this, you will be inundated hateful, vile, and harmful comments towards women – and it’s supposed to be funny.

    and
    Oh, then Jeannie is in favor of it?

    i am sure that if jeannie could bring herself to even go to the women’s health foundation site, she would laff her damn ass off…

  145. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:16

    bbkf, what Obama has done overseas since January of 2009 has given me far less respect for him.

    Watch what he does, not what he says.

    like i said, i’m a work in progress on this…i do find that i am swayed by words tho, so thanks for the reminder…

  146. smut clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:23

    It’d be for Smut if you traded the parchment for papyrus.
    Papyrus on Belgian beer labels makes Smut a sad thing.

  147. A History Student said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:29

    The invasion of Afghanistan shouldn’t have happened, but that requires believing that every politician in America who agreed with that would sacrifice their political career.

    The invasion of Afghanistan became inevitable with the advent, in 1996, of the Shanghai Five, which heralded a new, and hitherto unimagined, era of military co-operation between Russia and China, ostensibly to prevent the rise of terrorism in Central Asia. With that, the Great Game was on again, and the idea of the U.S. allowing themselves to be snookered out of the world’s most important geopolitical sphere by the Chinks and the Russkies, well, you can imagine.

    So who are we supposed to do? Stand by and let the Soviets turn Afghanistan into yet another satellite, or fund a particularly vicious resistance group that are known to be backwards, oppressive zealots …

    Or, perhaps, the U.S. could have forced Pakistan (and to a much lesser extent, Saudi Arabia) to cease funding the Taliban, by the simple expedient of withdrawing all her ‘aid’, while at the same time funding the resistance of Ahmad Shah Massoud who was neither backwards, oppressive, nor a zealot.

    Massoud fought the Red Army for ten years, and was hailed by the Wall Street Journal as “the man who won the Cold War”. He then fought the Taliban for five years, famously claiming that as long as he controlled a territory the size of his hat he would never surrender. With the demise of the Taliban, which Massoud told the European Parliament in April 2001 would happen within a year of its Pakstani funding having ceased, he would then have no doubt assumed legitimate political leadership of Afghanistan.

    But history had other ideas, and he didn’t. Anyone know why?

  148. Snorghagen said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:30

    I’m seriously interested in hearing what options short of invasion were available.

    On the day after 9/11, Rumsfeld argued against going after Afghanistan – not because of his Ghandian love of peace, but because he wanted to immediately attack Iraq. The rationale he gave was that Iraq had many more suitable targets for us to bomb than Afghanistan did.

  149. tigris said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:34

    Papyrus on Belgian beer labels makes Smut a sad thing.

    Aw, I’ll be glad to make all the bad bottles go away.

  150. Snorghagen said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:36

    I’m afraid that the US would have had a hard time funding Massoud after 9/11, since Massoud was assassinated by al-Qaeda on September 9.

  151. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:45

    Funding dead men is remarkably cheap.

  152. jim, lazily regurgitating snark over here so you don't have to click to read it over there said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:46

    Those trying to defuse a hateful word by reclaiming it vindicate the haters that use it hatefully?

    Does this process by any chance involve magic flying ponies?

    That Fluke’s testimony had absolutely nothing to do with empowering “sluts” to mate with everything in sight & everything to do with the efficacy of The Pill in preventing precancerous ovarian cysts is surely central to DeAngellis’ point.

    The ongoing spin to avoid the real subject of Fluke’s testimony could power an aircraft carrier. Angry that you’re not getting the medical services that you already paid for? Don’t want others’ religious views dictating what care options you get for your H.I. premium payments? That must be because you’re a slut!

    Of course, addressing the subject itself in depth wouldn’t get nearly as many page views, lacking the Google-appeal of having “SLUT” in the post title – & even worse, it would take both intelligence & effort.

    RELEVANT CONTENT CRISIS AVERTED.

  153. smut clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:48

    Papyrus on Belgian beer labels makes Smut a sad thing.
    There was a link there but Pupienus stole it.
    http://thefullpint.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/drie.jpeg

  154. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:49

    Fondling dead men is remarkably creepy.

  155. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:51

    Fanning dead men is remarkably fly-free.

  156. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:52

    Foundling dead men is remarkably oxymoronic.

  157. Snorghagen said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:54

    Phoning dead men leads to one-sided conversations.

  158. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:55

    Somewhere in this French documentary Massoud and his men fire rockets into Kabul off a piece of sheet-metal.

  159. smut clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 2:59

    Dressing dead men in plaid is noncupatory.

  160. Snorghagen said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:06

    Firing rockets into Kabul.

  161. bughunter never would have said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:09

    Fellating dead men is remarkably common.

  162. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:10

    Walking dead men is unnecessary if there’s a latrine near the death chamber.

  163. Major Kong said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:12

    Listening to tales told by dead men is unnecessary because dead men tell no tales.

  164. 'natch said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:13

    Fondling Dakota Fanning is remarkable.

  165. bbkf said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:24

    i do find that i am swayed by words tho,

    also, too…obama’s mesmerising speech, his smile and his big teeth…

    Fondling Dakota Fanning is remarkable.

    gross!

  166. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 3:53

    Dead men sell no tales…
    ~

  167. jim, who knows that it takes destroying the Global Village in order to save it to raise a child said,

    September 26, 2012 at 4:12

    The cruellest blow of all.

  168. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 4:18

    Pup already linked to the upcoming bacon shortage.

  169. sk00kum said,

    September 26, 2012 at 4:20

    <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiZ-0KS6Z5g"Dead finks don't walk too well

  170. sk00kum said,

    September 26, 2012 at 4:21

    FYWP

  171. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 4:39

    Fed dinks don’t walk too well
    ~

  172. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 4:42

    Butt chugging.

  173. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 5:07

    Thank you, Mr. McGravitas (IF that is your real name).

    However…

    But you can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behaviour of…
    a few sick, perverted individuals.
    If you do…
    shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system?
    And if the whole fraternity system is guilty…
    then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general?
    I put it to you, Greg.
    Isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society?

    ~

  174. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 5:22

    Isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society?

    Let me consult Bouffant.

  175. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 5:26

    Seems he got into the happy sauce.

    You can’t rely on anything, these days.
    ~

  176. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 5:28

    boldly waded through the slutty waters
    The explorers who searched for the source of the Slut Nile had to do that.
    “Doctor Lovingsbone, I presume?”

  177. Smut Clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 5:58

    “Doctor Lovingsbone, I presume?”

    * Flourish of strumpets*

  178. El Manquecito said,

    September 26, 2012 at 6:07

    * Flourish of strumpets*

    they’ll roux the day…

  179. bughunter said,

    September 26, 2012 at 6:10

    ~

    I have to say I have never seen a nymfail and a tagfail simultaneously.

    But then I’m relatively new here.

  180. bughunter said,

    September 26, 2012 at 6:18

    they’ll roux the day…

    Bouille envy?

  181. Smut Clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 6:28

    Butt chugging.
    If life gives you colons, make colonnade. No, wait.

  182. Snorghagen said,

    September 26, 2012 at 7:01

    If life gives you colons, make colonnade. No, wait.

    In 1492 he sailed forth into the unknown and discovered the New World of Buttchugging.

  183. tensor said,

    September 26, 2012 at 7:04

    …our tax dollars are used to school kiddies on after-school activities like masturbation,

    Only slackers wait until after school. (Insert* joke about “ABC After-School Special” here.)

    For visual learners, there are also links to colorful roadmap-type “diagrams” of male and female genitalia.

    For prudes who are both anti-sex and anti-learning, having education do* both at once must be incredibly frustrating*.

    Once again the left has inadvertently vindicated Rush Limbaugh.

    The FDA warned that Oxycontin could become addictive, so Mr. Limbaugh has inadvertently vindicated federal regulation, yet again. (The first time was when he got a license from the FCC.)

    *Yes, I meant it that way. Sideways, also, too.

  184. Smut Clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 8:24

    So a colonnade is a row of columns with Cristobal Colon?
    English is hard.

  185. Suezboo said,

    September 26, 2012 at 12:15

    His name is Brian.
    Long story summarised :
    Young – Beach Boys fan – Little Honda – Brian Wilson.
    And, yes, I know they’re non-U now, but the Beach Boys were one of my faves way back when.

  186. Thread Bear said,

    September 26, 2012 at 12:56

    “it is believed that members of the fraternity were using rubber tubing inserted into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol as the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the blood stream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver”

    The next generation of drunken assholes will not be brought down by liver disease. They are evolving.

  187. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 13:42

    There are many copies.

    And they have a plan…to shove wine up their asses.

  188. Smut Clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 14:01

    the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the blood stream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver

    You know what *really* brings wine or vodka into contact with well-vascularised tissue, and ensures that it bypasses initial filtering by the liver? Pouring it into your lungs.
    Smut Clyde tip of the day.

  189. Exford legs said,

    September 26, 2012 at 14:04

    Slut Nile

    A river like the Slut Clyde?

    Tart of Darkness?

  190. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 14:06

    Sheesh. What’ll frat boys think of next. I had heard of meth addicts using turkey basters to administer a solution of speed in the form of an enema, but they had valid excuses: used-up veins and noses.

    Maybe it’s just me, but the rubber tubing party doesn’t sound fun. It sounds awkward. No amount of high fives and homophobic banter could change that.

  191. Thread Bear said,

    September 26, 2012 at 14:20

    May you live in intestine times.

  192. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 14:50

    Maybe it’s just me, but the rubber tubing party doesn’t sound fun. It sounds awkward.

    It’s only awkward for the first 30 minutes or so, I assume.

    Once the alcohol hits, who cares?

  193. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 15:40

    This Thanksgiving, do not give yourself a meth enema with a turkey baster. Wacky mixups could ensue:

    Uncle Jeb and the boys accidentally ingest quarts of rich gravy, nourishing themselves greatly. Meanwhile, for once mama’s turkey doesn’t put everyone to sleep.

  194. bughunter said,

    September 26, 2012 at 15:46

    the rubber tubing party doesn’t sound fun

    That’s only because you’re imagining it with frat boys.

    Try Eurotrash Lesbian pornstars or Asian Ladyboys instead.

  195. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 15:58

    Eurotrash Lesbian pornstars

    Interest, newsletter, yadda yadda.

  196. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 15:59

    OH, WAIT, I’M ON THE FREAKING SLUTTY SLUTTY INTERNET.

    Eurotrash Lesbian pornstars are just one click away, as any local news program on a slow day can tell you.

  197. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 16:23

    Happy Yom Kippur!

  198. Thread Bear said,

    September 26, 2012 at 16:43

    Topics in the Sadly, No! universe
    Can run the gamut, so diverse
    A thread that starts out all about sluts
    Can quickly diverge to tubes in butts
    Then, on to dead men, furries and a whore
    And before long they’ll cite Rule 34
    Though they claim to be snarking on crazy wingnutters
    I suspect that they just have their minds in the gutters

  199. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:02

    they just have their minds in the gutters

    you say that like there’s something wrong with it.

  200. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:04

    Yum sardines!

  201. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:05

    The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. – Euclid

    The shortest distance between two minds is a gutter. – PeeJ

  202. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:39

    The sodaverse…is that the non-euclidian space between carbon dioxide bubbles in your glass?

  203. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:42

    In a sane world, the frat boys, eurotrash lesbian pornstars, and asian ladyboys could attend the same party in harmony. Oh, and they’d drink from glasses.

  204. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:46

    bbkf bait

  205. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 17:51

    In a sane world, the frat boys, eurotrash lesbian pornstars, and asian ladyboys could attend the same party in harmony.

    A previously unknown line from MLK’s “I Have A Dream” speech.

  206. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 18:00

    In a sane world, the frat boys, eurotrash lesbian pornstars, and asian ladyboys could attend the same party in harmony.

    Such parties are more common than you think. So I have been told.

  207. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 18:08

    Attention Green Bay fans:

    SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    Thank you.
    tsam

  208. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 18:22

    Attention Green Bay fans:

    SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BUTT-CHUG SOME DIGNITY

    Fiqqst for more news-worthiness.

  209. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 18:24

    Ooooh I like that.

  210. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 18:26

    Have you seen this leaked video yet. Romney on the virtues of feudalism.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/26/1136564/-How-one-firm-got-Mitt-Romney-to-invest-in-its-Chinese-factories

  211. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 18:54

    The shortest distance between two minds is a gutter. – PeeJ

    That PeeJ fellow sure was clever.

  212. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:20

    As usual, I show up and everybody runs away. You’re just all off giving each other boxwine enemas, aren’t you?

  213. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:31

    Yes, and since you’re a beer snob, you are not invited.

  214. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:32

    Pammycakes is under attack! Those people are worse than HITLER!

  215. Young Rebublican said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:33

    Everyone knows the classiest way to drink wine is via the butt.

  216. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:33

    It is astonishing that no one has yet mentioned Ann Althouse.

  217. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:33

    You’re just all off giving each other boxwine enemas, aren’t you?

    How else would we become enemas of the people?

    We’re all hoping to be sent off to re-enemacation camps.

  218. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:34

    boxwine enemas

    This might be the only way I could get drunk on wine.

  219. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:38

    Yes, and since you’re a beer snob, you are not invited.

    I knew it! [sob]

    Related: “Boxwine Enema” might be a good name for a punk band.

  220. VCarlson said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:38

    WRT ethanol enemas, my mother told me a story (30-40 years ago) about some Med School students and a party. Seems they’d been invited to a party, but some necessary part of their education would ensure they’d be late. Knowing how deadly dull it is to be the sober person at a party where everyone else is drunk, and knowing just enough to be dangerous, they gave themselves ethanol enemas right before jumping into a cab to the party. By the time they got there, they’d passed out. I assume they did not die of alcohol poisoning, or Mom would’ve mentioned it.

  221. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:39

    Note to self: Do not invite tsam to next wine-tasting party

  222. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:40

    Related: “Boxwine Enema” might be a good name for a punk band.

    Or a celebrity’s kid.

  223. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:41

    Pammycakes is under attack! Those people are worse than HITLER!

    Over on the thread regarding this at ThinkProgress, I posted the following and got 133 “likes” off it so far:

    I was about to say “countdown until someone whines about ‘vandalism’”, but I see this thread has already done the job.

    Crazy Pammy has a First Amendment right to put up this crap, and the sticker-ers have a First Amendment right to add their contribution to the display.

    And one of the trolls did indeed call me a fascist for suggesting such a horrible thing.

  224. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:41

    Note to self: Do not invite tsam to next wine-tasting party

    No worries, tsam doesn’t appear to be interested in tasting the wine.

  225. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:43

    It is astonishing that no one has yet mentioned Ann Althouse.

    “Boxwine” is a synonym for “Ann Althouse” — we were just trying to avoid being redundant.

  226. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:44

    I can hardly believe they had box wine enemas. Everyone knows it is properly done with champagne. Fucking philistines.

  227. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:45

    I mean, I don’t make fat jokes about Chris Christie for a reason.

    GIVE ME A CHALLENGE.

  228. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:47

    It is astonishing that no one has yet mentioned Ann Althouse.

    AHEM. 18:38 yesterday.

    (Although to be fair, that was an entirely different context.)

  229. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 19:55

    You know what *really* brings wine or vodka into contact with well-vascularised tissue, and ensures that it bypasses initial filtering by the liver? Pouring it into your lungs.
    Smut Clyde tip of the day.

    TIL that leatherback turtles have rectal gills. http://www.science-frontiers.com/sf112/sf112p08.htm

    Serendipity!

  230. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:01

    OH GOOD. I have always wanted to party with leatherback turtles.

  231. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:03

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_without_liquid

  232. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:06

    Currently this Pam Geller skrull is on top of my site statistics, displacing Piplup and Cars 2 hentai.

  233. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:07

    Note to self: Do not invite tsam to next wine-tasting party

    Awwwwww but I wanna GO!

  234. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:20

    Don’t they spit out the unused wine at tastings?

  235. Irion said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:21

    Just like teaching teens to use protection encourages them to have sex, we should stop teaching them to wear seat belts. Telling them to wear seat belts only encourages them to drive places!

  236. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:25

    “Buttchugger” is a word that deserves a long life. Mind you I have a thing for assonance.

  237. Anonymous said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:27

    it is core political speech,” expressing a “pro-Israel perspective on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict” and implicitly calling “for a pro-Israel U.S. foreign policy with regard to that conflict.”

    Oh, so, yeah, the finely nuanced political argument involved in calling 1 billion plus people “savages” is EXACTLY the kind of thing the Founders had in mind. Obviously.

  238. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:29

    Telling them to wear seat belts only encourages them to drive places!

    It also encourages them to crash their cars! WHY NOT, as long as there’s safety devices there to ensure you don’t get hurt? IRRESPONSIBILITY!!!

  239. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:31

    Crazy thought: Obama should strongly denounce boxwine enemas just to see how how Romney will manage to endorse it. That is all.

  240. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:32

    Cars should be designed to blow up if driven past the speed limit. This will encourage more responsible driving.

  241. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:38

    Cars should be equipped with buttalyzers.

  242. Thread Bear said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:52

    Goatse chugging requires no tubes, you just pop the whole box of wine right on in there.

  243. Pryme said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:55

    Cars should be equipped with buttalyzers.

    Rule 34.

  244. Pryme said,

    September 26, 2012 at 20:57

    Also, this is worth being “ahem-ed”.

  245. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:07

    That’s good Pryme but this is delicious. the double facepalm is EPIC.

  246. Pryme said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:18

    Pup,

    Saw it. Loved it. Recommended it to friends. Joe’s going have a flask on his show before Election Day.

    However, there seems to be a split on why Romney interrupted: was it because he was trying to charge up the base for the ticket, or was he a wee bit jealous that the people were chanting Ryan’s name and not his?

    I’m going for Door #2.

  247. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:28

    Ni-Clang!

    http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150117213753909.290606.78005643908&type=3

  248. tigris said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:45

    Jesus Christ, gocart. Somebody reboot the universe, this one sucks too hard to continue.

  249. Pere Ubu said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:49

    You know, you guys could have named this thread “The Taming Of The Screw”.

    Just sayin’.

  250. Thread Bear said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:49

    Ten years ago there was some suggesting that Colin Powell could be the first black president. Bob Rivers wrote a parody song at the time to the tune of Paint It Black. Here’s a slightly updated version of A President Who’s Black:

    We need a leader who will get us back on track
    Maybe it’s time we had a president who’s black

    I seen him on TV dressed up in his politician clothes
    I heard his running mate might just be James Earl Jones

    His name is Obama and he happens to be black
    The latest polls say he’s the leader of the pack

    Some folks used to close their minds they say there ain’t no way
    But the times they change, who knows our next one could be gay

  251. Pupienus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:54

    Absitively Rmoney was miffed. I live the we said “that’s enough” when no one was chanting his name.

  252. Pryme said,

    September 26, 2012 at 21:56

    Somebody reboot the universe, this one sucks too hard to continue.

    What makes you think that this isn’t the reboot?

    /Twilight Zone

  253. smut clyde said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:00

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_without_liquid
    I see your alcohol vaporiser and raise you a Myles na cGopaleen alcoholic ice-cream.

    In a sane world, the frat boys, eurotrash lesbian pornstars, and asian ladyboys could attend the same party in harmony.

    Give me the Disney Corporation! Time to update the “It’s a Small World” ride!!

  254. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:01

    I know for a FACT this isn’t the reboot. Nobody has pig-noses.

  255. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:08

    There once was a stuffed suit called Romney, a
    Guy who’d emote like a zombie, a
    Big piece of wood, a
    Stiff but up-stood, a
    Contemptible cure for insomnia.

  256. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:13

    Actually, the link goes to the slightly less racist/ cleaned up version. Although it still includes this http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151097314693909&set=a.10150117213753909.290606.78005643908&type=3&theater

    Also h/t to http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/09/26/rant-o-the-day-virginia-gop-affiliate-ignores-orders-to-remove-racist-obama-imagery-from-facebook/

  257. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:19

    It’s a world of butt chugs
    A world of beers
    It’s a world of frat slugs
    A world of fears
    There’s so much that we dare
    That it’s time we’re aware
    The ER doctors don’t care.

    The ER doctors don’t care
    The ER doctors don’t care
    The ER doctors don’t care
    They don’t care we butt chug.

  258. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:24

    Love is butt-chug and I need some more.

  259. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:26

    You can’t always buttchug all you want
    But if you try some time
    You just might find
    You buttchug all you need

  260. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:28

    There is a Mormon named Mittens
    Who tells 47% “Stop Bitchen’”
    To you a millionaire is rich and
    his place you gladly will switch with
    But to Mittens it’s merely a pittance

  261. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:32

    Oh, that little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the butt-chug
    Nobody’s ever seen it, but it’s got the whole world shook up
    It all started with a bunch of frat boys and a jug
    It’s a little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the butt-chug

  262. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:36

    I see that everyone else is writing dittys about butt-chug but I wrote mine about an asshole so at least I’m in the same ballpark.

  263. El Manquécito said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:37

    This wine tastes like shit.

  264. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:39

    Get outta that bed, wash your butt and hands
    Get outta that bed, wash your butt and hands
    Well, you get in that frat house, butt chug standing on your hands

    Way you wear those hoses, the wine comes leakin’ through
    Way you wear those hoses, the wine comes leakin’ through
    I can’t believe my eyes, all that mess belongs to you

    I believe to the soul you’re the devil and now I know
    I believe to the soul you’re the devil and now I know
    Well, the more I chug, the faster my box wine goes

    I said shake, rattle and roll, Shake, rattle and roll
    Shake, rattle and roll, Shake, rattle and roll
    Well, you won’t do right to save your doggone soul

  265. tsam said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:40

    Grapey shit!

  266. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:43

    /Twilight Zone Matrix

  267. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:43

    Rip it up
    Move down
    Rip it up
    Move it down to the ground
    Rip it up
    Cool down
    Rip it up
    And get the feeling not the word.

    Ev’rybody have fun tonight
    Ev’rybody have fun tonight
    Ev’rybody Butt-Chug tonight
    Ev’rybody have fun tonight
    Ev’rybody Butt-Chug tonight
    Ev’rybody have fun.

  268. N__B said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:47

    When I was an itty-bitty boy
    My grandmother gave me an itty-bitty toy
    Bag of wine, on a tube
    Told me it was my butt-chug lube
    My butt-chug lube
    My butt-chug lube
    I want you to play with my butt-chug lube

  269. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:49

    Butt-chug for the fun of it bring a date or your brother or your mate or your mother and Butt-chug for the fun of it

  270. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:53

    I don’t care what’s right or wrong,I won’t try to understand.
    Let the devil take tomorrow, Lord tonight I need a hand.
    Yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow’s out of sight
    And I can’t do this alone. Help me butt-chug through the night.

  271. gocart mozart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:55

    relevant
    http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2010/03/01/you-get-your-expert-witness-and-ill-get-mine/justbringmethewholefuckingboxofwine-2/

  272. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 22:58

    “Days of Wine and Hoses”

    … Andy Williams, just now dead, liked to sing that tune.

    And he was wingnutty: “Obama is following Marxist theory [...] He’s taken over the banks and the car industry. He wants the country to fail.”

  273. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:01

    When I get to the bottom I go back and I lube up the slide
    Then I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
    Till it’s in to the bottom and I dribble again

    Yeah yeah yeah

    Do, don’t you want me to chug you
    It’s going in fast but I’m miles above you
    Tell me, tell me, tell me, come on tell me the answer
    You may be a chugger but you ain’t no pantser

    Buttchug skelter, buttchug skelter
    Buttchug skelter

    “I’ve got blisters on my asscheeks!”

  274. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:20

    See, OBS, that’s the way you chase off the commentariat.

  275. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:21

    C
    I say C-H
    C-H-U
    C-H-U-G
    Chug
    C-H-U-G
    Chug Chug Chug Chug

    B
    I say B-U
    B-U-T
    B-U-T-T
    Butt
    B-U-T-T C-H-U-G
    Butt Chug

    Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
    Butt Chug
    Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
    Butt Chug
    Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
    Butt Chug
    Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
    Butt Chug
    Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah
    B-U-T-T C-H-U-G
    Butt Chug!

  276. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:28

    A boxwine enema review:

    Endowed, jaunty yet funky with every part smelling and tasting provocative, flamboyant and blooming. Its gorgeous, vaunting style is burning, mantling and amorous with an extravagant softness that is grandiose, exotic and purse-lipped. There is an edginess, sophistication and dominating air that questions whether your rectum has the true aptitude to handle the complete clutch of this much worldliness. The body is chasmal, bounteous and a little drippy. You will never find the true heart of this scandalous wine so just enjoy your x-rated time together. Be aware you will be left lauding, lost, and leaking when you awake.

    Only slightly altered from an actual wine review.

  277. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:31

    See, OBS, that’s the way you chase off the commentariat.

    I wasn’t chased off, I was just searching for “pompous wine reviews” — I’ve been known to wax a bit profound about certain beers, but by jeebus’s buttwine-bong, those wine people are crazy!

  278. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:37

    Any scheme to GET DRUNK FASTER! puzzles me. I never have trouble getting drunk fast enough, and I enjoy the process too much to take shortcuts. Is half an hour too slow? I don’t get it. What does one gain by throwing away all control — a high BAC? You can get that one drink at a time.

  279. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:40

    You lose five Delta Tau Chi points, Golem Heart.
    ~

  280. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:41

    Ooh, franchise idea! Boutique buttchug bars, like hooka bars. All the hipsters could go there on their fixies and hang out (heh), texting and Yelping and whatever the fuck else they do, occasionally taking a trip back to the “little booth” for a discrete plunge.

    We could call it Poople.

  281. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:42

    Yes, but how many points did I earn on the fateful day I ate a quarter sheet of bad acid?

  282. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:46

    Ooh, franchise idea! Boutique buttchug bars, like hooka bars. All the hipsters could go there on their fixies and hang out (heh), texting and Yelping and whatever the fuck else they do, occasionally taking a trip back to the “little booth” for a discrete plunge.

    Let’s go one step further and sell them fixies with the seat removed and an enema bag installed.

  283. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:47

    Yes, but how many points did I earn on the fateful day I ate a quarter sheet of bad acid?

    None! Frat boys don’t do acid, you fucking hippy!

  284. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:48

    Relevant:

    “Oh, sure, back in college, I could cram with the big boys. I was a fraternity man; how could I not?”

  285. Golem Heart said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:49

    Of course you’re right, OBS. Well fuck those crammers anyway.

  286. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:50

    Amusingly around here the local “Greek” “culture” decided to ban alcohol for “rush” week this year in all the “houses” around campus. Also, too.

    I have a dream that they’re starting to figure out that having a reputation around town of being a bunch of drunken doucheenemabags might not be the best way to fit in with the local community.

  287. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:54

    Related!

  288. Whale Chowder said,

    September 26, 2012 at 23:54

    A boxwine enema review

    Kinda gives the term “plonk” a new meaning.

  289. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:16

    And [plonk] goes the thread.

  290. wondering aloud, bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:34

    Do frat boys use their beer bongs for buttchugging boxwine?

  291. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:43

    Do frat boys use their beer bongs for buttchugging boxwine?

    Buttchugging boxwine by beer bong? Bonkers!

  292. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:44

    Bah, botched!

    Budding bankers buttchugging boxwine by beer bong? Bonkers!

  293. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:45

    Better.

  294. Whale Chowder said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:46

    But basic boxwine buttchugging’s blocked by bitchin’ buttplugs.

  295. Thread Bear said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:48

    Red, box wine
    Go up my anus
    The initial pain is
    Worth it to get high

    Red, box wine
    It’s up the poop chute
    All I can do, I’ve chugged
    But memories won’t go
    No, memories won’t go

    I’d have thought
    That with time
    I’d wise up
    Would use my head
    I was wrong
    And I find
    Peer pressure makes me forget

    Red, box wine
    Stay hosed to me
    Don’t let me be alone
    It’s tearin’ apart
    My blue, blue butt

    Red box wine you make me feel so fine
    Got me colon rocking all of the time
    Red box wine you make me want to strut
    I feel a million dollars when your tube in my butt
    Red box wine you make me feel so sad
    Any time I see you I go goatse so bad
    Red box wine you make me feel so fine
    Fudge pack him rizla pon the sweet dep line
    Red box wine you give me whole heap of zing
    Whole heap of zing mek me do the butt chug thing
    Red box wine you really know how fi love
    Your kind of loving like a blessing from below
    Red box wine I love you right from the tube
    Right from the tube with all of my lube
    Red box wine in a frathouse style
    Red box wine and I won’t sit for a while, yeah

  296. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:51

    Oh, and American Frat Boys got nuthin’ on Kiwi Rugby Teams.

    VULGARIAN NIGHTS
    By Mark Abernathy
    Reprinted without permission from Penthouse (Australian edition)

    There are only two rules for membership of The Southern Cross Vulgarians RFC–”No Trainers” and “No Sippers.” You have to keep this philosophy in mind if you want to play rugby in this team. You’ll have to keep a lot more in mind if you want to party with them.

    [skip ahead a bit, brother]

    Half an hour later, Abbo approaches again and tells me to prepare for something that no self- respecting journalist should ever have to witness. “Just don’t come too close–they’re cool about photographs, but don’t become a victim of convenience.”

    Then Red fills up a jug and drops it down his gob so fast it looks like a trick. He works his stomach muscles in and out and points to Abbo. “Recieveth,” he commands, and the crowd at the table starts cheering, but keeps its distance. Abbo goes down on one knee and seems to be praying. He holds his hands together in front of his chest and tilts his head back, mouth open. Red is in a trance, his stomach heaving in and out at speed. Then he takes a step forward so that he’s just over a metre from the praying press secretary and there’s this awful noise like the toilets on the Achille Lauro, and this tawny stream of vomit flies from Red’s mouth and gracefully arcs a few feet through the air and lands in his team mate’s mouth.

    This is pelican drinking. And this is Saturday night, Kiwi style.

    hat tip: alt.slack newsgroup, circa 1994

  297. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:57

    Buttchug by beer bong
    Brazen. Bungled. Badly botched.
    Bitter bungs bleeding

  298. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 0:59

    This is pelican drinking. And this is Saturday night, Kiwi style.

    Gah! Where the fuck is the “unsee” button on my keyboard!?!

  299. El Manquécito said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:00

    Victims of Convenience has a band name ring to it.

  300. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:00

    Wasn’t that cross posted to alt.swedishchef.bork.bork.bork?

  301. Trurl's poetry machine said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:00

    I see I’m not needed here.

  302. Pere Ubu said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:01

    Nice Stanislaws Lem ref, there.

  303. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:08

    No tossers, no pissers!

  304. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:10

    So many comments… maybe I shouldn’t have gone out drinking these past two nights.

    Ah, forget it, where’s the booze?

  305. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:15

    Related!

    Poor eel thought he was a sea cucumber.

  306. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:34

    Sorry, OBS. Here’s some brain bleach.

  307. Whale Chowder said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:40

    Ah, forget it, where’s the booze?

    Don’t forget the funnel and surgical tubing.

  308. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 27, 2012 at 1:55

    This thread is drowned.

  309. Whale Chowder said,

    September 27, 2012 at 2:01

    This thread is drowned alcohol poisoned.

    Fisted.

  310. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:14

    Gonna be a heartache tonight.

    (But not tomorrow night.)

  311. M. Bouffant said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:18

    Happy Yom Kippur!
    You’re not supposed to be happy. You are to atone for all your evil acts, sins & so on. And no eating, neither.

  312. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:21

    bbkf bait

    and i fell for it hook, line and sinker…omg…i wish hubbkf would let me get a babby…

  313. Whale Chowder said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:23

    Did you promise to feed it and walk it and it would never be a problem…?

  314. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:26

    It is astonishing that no one has yet mentioned Ann Althouse.

    didn’t you see all that talk about buttchugs?

  315. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:27

    Did you promise to feed it and walk it and it would never be a problem…?

    awwww, shoot…

  316. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 3:40

    Really. Fucking. Clever, thx so much:

    Madonna defends ‘black Muslim’ Obama endorsement

  317. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 4:13

    Madonna defends ‘black Muslim’ Obama endorsement

    oh, that madge! always being ironical…

  318. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 4:23

    It’s a regular pornado up in this joint.

  319. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 4:28

    It’s a regular pornado up in this joint.

    well around here, since the farmers are taking the corn out of the fields, the corn detritus combined with the wind that is always fucking blowing, creates what we call a cornado…

  320. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 27, 2012 at 4:31

    Oh. My. Fucking. God.

    This is cartoon shit. Seriously. Mr. Burns himself would never dare to do this.

  321. 'natch said,

    September 27, 2012 at 4:32

    Related!

    Ok. Jacksie is now my favorite word ever. Next time anyone fucks w/me Imma tell em “stick an eel up yer jacksie!” or summpin.

  322. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 4:57

    “stick an eel up yer jacksie”

    “Jacksie” in itself gives no clues. They’d have to deduce what you’re on about.

  323. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 5:02

    “Jacksie” in itself gives no clues. They’d have to deduce what you’re on about.

    experimentation=fun!

  324. Thread Bear said,

    September 27, 2012 at 5:21

    Oh. My. Fucking. God.

    The good citizens of Massachusetts used to refer to Governor Romney as Fifi. Since he had promised in his campaign that he would not raise taxes (he did slightly anyway) he had to make up for it by raising or attempting to raise all kinds of fees. Including a $400 fee if you tested positive for tuberculosis. He also quadrupled the fee for a gun permit, so you’d think he’d be on the NRA’s hit list.

  325. tensor said,

    September 27, 2012 at 7:02

    I’mma invent a combo winch/vibrator/bug stomper/lid opener…

    While your idea intrigues me, the usual request for a newsletter, web site, or suchlike will instead be replaced by an offer to help you write any patent application(s) resulting from your work.

    (Although your self-produced video “user’s guide” would certainly be valuable in that effort, wink wink nudge nudge,)

    He also quadrupled the fee for a gun permit, so you’d think he’d be on the NRA’s hit list.

    Silly liberal. Every NRA member knows the GOP is the party of guns, god, guns, family, guns, liberty, guns, freedom, guns, independence, guns, manhood, guns, guns, guns, and more guns. The Democrat Party wants to drain your precious bodily fluids ban your fully-automatic Friend of Freedom. Evidence to the contrary is doubleplus notreal:

    The administration of George H.W. Bush saw the initial push for a ban on assault weapons. President Bill Clinton signed the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban into law, while President George W. Bush drew criticism from advocates of both gun rights and gun control when he announced he would sign a renewal of the AWB in 2004 but didn’t push Congress to authorize the renewal. President Obama’s administration has witnessed renewed calls for a ban on assault weapons, though they have gone largely unheeded.

  326. John Revolta said,

    September 27, 2012 at 9:21

    I dunno, maybe it’s me. Lately there’s a lot of people making stupid remarks and then claiming they were joking. Either I’m getting slower or these people are just really bad at telling jokes.

    Or something.

  327. another kiwi said,

    September 27, 2012 at 9:56

    There’s a fratboy who’s sure, all that boxwine is gold
    and he’s riding a buttchug to heaven.
    When he gets there he knows, the wine store awaits
    With a tube he can get what he came for,
    ooooh oooh and he’s butting some chugwine to heaven.

  328. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 9:59

    Timewaster of the night (aside from unfuxxoring that one fucking Windows PC in my house… again*): Subversive Fiction from the Eighties.

    Also, Matt Taibbi. Too.

    (*That Win7 machine requires three times the maintenance of four Macs, combined. But, of course, the wife’s job requires her to use Windows.)

  329. another kiwi said,

    September 27, 2012 at 10:54

    Butt chugging lol

  330. W. Kiernan said,

    September 27, 2012 at 12:08

    Regarding that NY subway ad, rather than spray painting it all you need are two stickers, so that it ends up reading “In any war between the civilized man and (first sticker) PAMELA GELLAR (end first sticker) support the civilized man. Support Israel. Defeat (second sticker) LIKUD.(end second sticker).”

  331. Pere Ubu said,

    September 27, 2012 at 14:29

    “In any war between the civilized man and (first sticker) PAMELA GELLAR (end first sticker) support the civilized man. Support Israel. Defeat (second sticker) LIKUD.(end second sticker).”

    I’m Pere Ubu, and I endorse this plan.

    …cue wingnut troll to chide me for being anti-Semitic…

  332. Suezboo said,

    September 27, 2012 at 14:34

    Waaaah ! Sob. sob. snif.
    I had to return Brian the Car.He went for his Roadworthy Certificate and it was found that the engine number had been filed off and the dashboard number did not agree with what it should be, so he was obviously stolen in the first place. I am just glad I had not given the sellers my money yet.
    Bloody thieves and fences, trying to con an old lady.Swine.
    Still no transport here. Damn, damn, damn.

  333. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 14:38

    Here’s a McCartney medley:

    Jet! Whoo-oo-oo-oo, Whoo-oo-oo Ooo
    Jet! Whoo-oo-oo-oo, Whoo-oo-oo Ooo

    [...]

    Frat-house boy, entubes bro
    Leaves behind a tragic world
    Butt-chug wine, he’s in school
    And he butt-loves box-wine

  334. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 15:47

    On 2nd thought, I’d clarify the emphasis:

    Frat house boy … en-tubes his bro
    leaves be-hind a trag-ic world
    butt chug box wine … cuz he’s in school
    and he butt loves box wine

  335. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 16:23

    They got box-wine in their pelvic colon
    They’ve plugged their Hershey Highway
    They’re piping in more Carlo Rossi
    They’re butt chuggin’ everyday
    Come on, come on, come on let’s go butt chuggin’
    Come on, come on, come on butt chuggin’
    Come on, come on, come on let’s go butt chuggin’
    Come on, come on, come on butt chuggin’
    Yeah yeah yeah butt chuggin’
    Yeah yeah yeah butt chuggin’
    Yeah yeah yeah butt chuggin’
    Yeah yeah yeah

  336. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 16:37

    Quote from a relative:

    Yup two of my friends did this with tampons on a beach in san diego. Hooray for higher education. Sticking tampons full of vodka up your butt actually makes sense as the culmination of an undergraduate career.

    One’s in AA now and the other is probably dead, not really sure.

  337. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:16

    None! Frat boys don’t do acid, you fucking hippy!

    They do at Lambda Sigma Delta!

  338. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:18

    Sticking tampons full of vodka up your butt actually makes sense as the culmination of an undergraduate career.

    Depends on your major. The philosophy students I’ve known would probably go more for butt-absinthe.

  339. Thread Bear said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:28

    I see a marketing opportunity here. A butt-chug delivery system. It could very well just be tampons or surgical tubing, but with fancier packaging and re-labeling you could probably triple the price on them.

  340. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:32

    Regardless of what frats do in particular, I thought I might get points for having done something reckless and stupid. Then again, I was fine the next day (or was I?) and didn’t end up hospitalized.

  341. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:40

    I see a marketing opportunity here. A butt-chug delivery system. It could very well just be tampons or surgical tubing, but with fancier packaging and re-labeling you could probably triple the price on them.

    I’m imagining a fine Ronco product, the Ronco Rear-end Butt Chugger… as seen on TV.

    Makes a great Christmas gift!

  342. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:50

    It’s no Singing Bass.

  343. tigris said,

    September 27, 2012 at 18:51

    But wait, if you order now you also get a Pocket Fisherman for no charge!! (additional shipping and handling charges apply)

  344. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:12

    Hmph. Tigris clearly thinks there is something sexual in a bunch of boys getting together and stuffing things up their asses.

  345. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:17

    It’s no Singing Bass.

    But it gives you a stinging ass.

    But wait, if you order now you also get a Pocket Fisherman for no charge!! (additional shipping and handling charges apply)

    You can store the bait (for example, a small eel) up your ass.

  346. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:20

    Samuel L Jackson, Motherfuckers!

    I imagine there are some righteously stanky comments on this thing, but I’m not going to read them.

  347. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:23

    I thought I might get points for having done something reckless and stupid.

    You get points from me. I’ve never done more than a couple tabs at once, and that was plenty.

  348. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:25

    You can still get Tab?

  349. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:26

    You can still get Tab?

    Yeah–it’s all the hipster rage!

  350. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:28

    From tsad’s link:

    “Sorry my friend, but there’s no time to snore. An out of touch millionaire has just declared war. On schools, the environment, unions, fair pay. We’re all on our own if Romney has his way. And he’s against safety nets. If you fall, tough luck. So I strongly suggest that you wake the fuck up,”

    (note, I put the proper word in there, the WSJ is too upstanding to use such a horrible word. It might offend all their bigoted, hateful, warmongering readers. Or something.)

  351. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:31

    You can still get Tab?

    What would we do without teh wackypedia:

    After the introduction of Diet Coke in 1982, it quickly replaced Tab as the Coca-Cola Company’s most popular diet cola. However, Tab is still available in some areas. Typically, it is now usually found in supermarkets and convenience stores in 12-ounce cans, by 12-pack or 6-pack. It is also available in some places in two-liter bottles.

    You learn something new every day. Often that learning is not very useful.

  352. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:32

    tsam said,
    September 27, 2012 at 19:20

    Samuel L Jackson, Motherfuckers!

    Heh. I was just going to post that. Tres amusing.

  353. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 19:52

    Waaaah ! Sob. sob. snif.
    I had to return Brian the Car.

    you know what’s weird? brian was the first name i thought of for your car…i’m really good at naming stuff like that…some say i’m a freak, but i look at it as a gift…

  354. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:02

    Sticking tampons full of vodka up your butt actually makes sense as the culmination of an undergraduate career.

    mr. colbert* warned us of this…

    *is there a way to do the linky thing that cuts out the advertising before a videoclip? because the one i had to sit through was a thoroughly disgusting charmin ad…if you ever hear of a woman freaking the fuck out and losing her shit (heh) on the ad agency who came up with the ‘we all go…’ campaign, that will be me…

  355. vacuumslayer said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:12

    OMG, y’all, we still have time!

    bbkf, you better click on my name! Total you-bait!

  356. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:12

    Samuel L Jackson, Motherfuckers!

    Heh. I was just going to post that. Tres amusing.

    that was indeed amusing…i also enjoyed the infinite sadness that was linked last evening…at first i thought i found it hilarious because of the wine i poured immediately after coming home from and appalling and stressful 12 hour day which included damage control over stolen goods in conjunction with an fundraiser i’m planning, a board meeting where it was reinforced that most of my board is a bunch of chauvinistic men who don’t pay fuckall attention to anything we do but like to be imperious fucks at meetings…but then i finished the day helping one of our local granite guys (former sd speaker of the house val rausch who is a freaking hoot) sandblast donor names on our granite recognition wall…

  357. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:19

    Samuel L Jackson, Motherfuckers!

    Look at his outfit. A white or cream polo under a tan cardigan. Loose red pants–what’s that fabric? And a black leather Kangol.

    He does look sharp. I couldn’t pull off those red glasses.

  358. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:22

    Often that learning is not very useful.

    Especially since being seen with a TAB in your dickbeater is “so retro, bro” and totally hipsterville. But there is an element of awesomeness to being an older hipster who can truthfully claim that he/she liked TAB way back before it was cool to like TAB.

  359. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:23

    bbkf, you better click on my name! Total you-bait!

    oh, i took the bait last night…and again just now…and dang it, hubbkf STILL won’t let me get a babby…

    also, count me in on that forty day saving murka thing…if it’s good enough for louie gohmert, it’s good enough for me, i sez…

  360. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:24

    But there is an element of awesomeness to being an older hipster who can truthfully claim that he/she liked TAB way back before it was cool to like TAB.

    oh, yeah…texas, 1982 was my year of tab…and diet pills…HEY, YOU GO LIVE IN BUMFUCK TEXAS BEFORE YOU JUDGE!!!

  361. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:33

    I’ve eaten my share of diet pills before the nanny stake jackbooted stormtrooper fascists banned phentermine because a few irresponsible women died from eating the shit. That was GOOD STUFF.

  362. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:35

    I’ve eaten my share of diet pills before the nanny stake jackbooted stormtrooper fascists banned phentermine because a few irresponsible women died from eating the shit. That was GOOD STUFF.

    oh jaysus! i took so many at one time once that i was sure my hair was literally standing up straight…and i had a headache for about two weeks solid…and now i can’t take them because they make me very very sleepy…

  363. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:35

    But there is an element of awesomeness to being an older hipster who can truthfully claim that he/she liked TAB way back before it was cool to like TAB

    One of our docs, the only person here who’s older than I am, still drinks that stuff. Trust me — there’s absolutely NOTHING hipster about him. Or hip either, for that matter. There’s always a 12-pack of cans of Tab in the fridge in the break room… [shudder]

  364. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:36

    now i can’t take them because they make me very very sleepy…

    Don’t go into the light!!!

  365. tsam said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:40

    and i had a headache for about two weeks solid…and now i can’t take them because they make me very very sleepy…

    I’m pretty sure those things were responsible for a REALLY FUCKING PAINFUL bout of Pancreatitis that put me in the hospital once (thinking it might be Appendicitis). I did get IV morphine at that time which was OH SOOOOOOOooooooo niiiiiiccccccceeeeee….

  366. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:45

    You can still get Tab?

    Yeah–it’s all the hipster rage!

    Feckin’ hipsters can’t even get soda pop affectation right. Real soda snobs drink Moxie. It’s that purple gentian root extract that gives it that certain, bitter, je ne sais pas.

  367. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:47

    that certain, bitter, je ne sais pas.

    ooooh, that IS hipster!

  368. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:50

    Real soda snobs drink Moxie. It’s that purple gentian root extract that gives it that certain, bitter, je ne sais pas.

    Brio Chinotto! It’s the quinine that makes it.

  369. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:54

    Hmph. Tigris clearly thinks there is something sexual in a bunch of boys getting together and stuffing things up their asses.

    Well, Tigris is a well-known coinsoissuer of tentacle porn, so does it surprise you she has a dirty mind?

  370. another kiwi said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:56

    Well, Tigris is a well-known coinsoissuer of tentacle porn, so does it surprise you she has a dirty mind?
    I know, and furries, though you didn’t hear that from me.

  371. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:56

    Brio Chinotto! It’s the quinine that makes it.

    Che abbondanza! I’ve only seen chinotto in those tiny little bottles. The same bitter oranges are used to make Campari.

    I may have to butt-chug a negroni now.

  372. Thread Bear said,

    September 27, 2012 at 20:57

    When I was a kid I took acid, now I’m an old fart and take antacid.

  373. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:00

    The various chinottos are all pretty different, but Brio really is a perfect drink with pizza, a kind of palate-cleansing bitter zap.

  374. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:01

    Looking at the conservative comments at the WSJ/Samuel L. Jackson piece (not that they’re unusually bad) …

    Open commenting at news sites has gotta be hurting the conservative movement. Setting aside partisan differences, one side is burdened with a disproportionate number of cretins. If I were a smart Republican, I’d be dispirited. It’s obviously a movement of gimps, not Galts.

  375. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:14

    Jeff Jacoby:

    Millions of voters believed him. They took to heart his vow to transfigure American public life. They looked forward to the uplifting leadership he promised. What they got instead was the most polarizing and divisive presidency in modern times.

    In what must have been an editorial mistake the number “47″ appears nowhere in the column.

  376. another kiwi said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:17

    Peggy Noonan proves that there is no reality like your own reality Can I have some of what she is on.

  377. Pryme said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:17

    Not as good as the SamJax one, but still worth a “tee-hee”.

  378. tigris said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:27

    The totally non-partisan 40 days to save America from the blah dude: All around us, we see economic decline, immorality, corruption, growing secular humanism and attacks on religious liberty.

    Wah wah wah people can even be atheists in PUBLIC now without getting abuse!

    Real soda snobs drink Moxie. It’s that purple gentian root extract that gives it that certain, bitter, je ne sais pas.

    There was a Moxie festival in Maine some time this summer before I gave up listening to the Red Sox, and the announcers were talking around the promo spots about drinking Moxie mixed with milk growing up. One game they talked about how disgusting it was, the very next game they were talking about how much they’d liked it. Obviously the Moxia had gotten to them in between.

  379. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:27

    Can I have some of what she is on.

    Careful, there… Early on she flat out tells us that whatever it is that she’s smoking/drinking/shooting/buttchugging leads to “a jumble of thoughts.” Getting hammered is one thing, but voluntarily getting Republican stoopid is something completely different.

  380. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:28

    Peggy Noonan proves that there is no reality like your own reality Can I have some of what she is on.

    Dude, you do NOT want to try butt-wine.

  381. kg said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:29

    Bibi breaks out the scientific graphics

  382. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:33

    When I was a kid I took acid, now I’m an old fart and take antacid.

    Awesome!

    Imma stealin’ it.

  383. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:35

    Bibi breaks out the scientific graphics

    Netanyahu’s graphic manages to make an Iranian nuke look harmless — comical even. It’s one of them cannonballs with a fuse, for crying out loud.

  384. another kiwi said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:39

    Hey if you can’t believe Bibi’s graph of A BOMB fer chrissake, with red tape put on at the last minute, what can you believe?

  385. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:42

    Netanyahu’s graphic manages to make an Iranian nuke look harmless — comical even. It’s one of them cannonballs with a fuse, for crying out loud.

    omg…that’s pretty much ‘ding! ding!’ and ‘boom goes the dynamite!’

  386. another kiwi said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:44

    Now I’ve seen a picture of Bibi drawing the red line over a black line. They don’t have powerpoint in the Israeli government?

  387. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 21:46

    There was a Moxie festival in Maine some time this summer before I gave up listening to the Red Sox

    First weekend in July, Lisbon Falls… I’ve never had a chance to attend it, but I did have a good long talk with the world-renowned Moxie Ambassador, who owns the Kennebec Fruit Store (he sells more Moxie than fruit these days). Damn, I should grab a truckload of the stuff and sell it in Williamsburg to make a killing.

    Moxie’s just not the same since they took that accusatory, Mitt Romney lookin’ motherfucker off the can.

  388. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:00

    Shorter Bibi: Somebody set up us the bomb.

  389. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:07

    Among the latest in the “poll sample truthers” reverberations:

    The Democrats want to convince [these anti-Obama voters] falsely that Romney will lose to discourage them from voting. So they lobby the pollsters to weight their surveys to emulate the 2008 Democrat-heavy models. They are lobbying them now to affect early voting. IVR [Interactive Voice Response] polls are heavily weighted. You can weight to whatever result you want.

    So, they’re clearly setting up for a Romney loss now. On November 7, when the Smiler has officially lost, the narrative will not be “gee, maybe we should tone down our bigoted zealotry a bit.” No, it will be “the liberal media conspiracy deceived the undecideds into breaking for Obama and the conservatives into staying home, using their biased polling numbers.” And peak wingnut will move further to the right…

  390. smut clyde said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:07

    Jeff Jacoby:
    Millions of voters believed him.

    When the 47% video came out, I was thinking “Ha! That will make it hard for any rightwing hack with a vestigial sense of shame, decency or self-respect to go on complaining about Obama’s ‘divisiveness’.”
    My theory still stands.

  391. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:12

    One for OBS:

    Brewskie Bubblechart of Buttchugger Bias

    Guinness is the only thing on that chart that I’d even consider drinking…

  392. tigris said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:15

    So they lobby the pollsters to weight their surveys to emulate the 2008 Democrat-heavy models

    These assholes can wring their hands all they want, when a majority of randomly called people self-identify as Democrats who will vote for Obama it takes at least SOME evidence to claim COLLUSION + OVERSAMPLING = YAY ROMNEY WINS!

  393. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:15

    They don’t have PowerPoint in the Israeli government?

    Yes, but I bet Bibi can’t work a computer. He has that air about him. His secretary handles stuff.

    Ahmadinejad enjoys blogging, if I recall. I bet he’s wasted alot of time futzing around in PowerPoint, finding the right clipart, etc.

  394. smut clyde said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:15

    The philosophy students I’ve known would probably go more for butt-absinthe.

    So, you pour in the water first? Then wedge a sugarcube in your crack so you can drip the absinthe through it?

    The lack of respect for UB40 on this thread makes me sad.

    Butt chug wine goes to my head,
    Makes me forget that I still need her so
    Butt chug wine, it’s up to you
    All I can do I’ve done
    Memories won’t go, memories won’t go

    Life is fine every time,
    Thoughts of you leave my head
    I was wrong, now I find
    Just one thing makes me forget

    Red, red wine, stay close to me
    Don’t let me be alone
    It’s tearing apart my blue heart

    Butt chug wine, you make me feel so fine,
    You keep me rockin’ all of the time
    Butt chug wine, you make me feel so numb,
    I feel a million dollar when you’re just up my bum
    Butt chug wine, you make me feel so sad,
    Any time I see you go, it make me feel bad
    Butt chug wine, you make me feel so fine,
    Monkey back and ease up on the sweet deadline

  395. vacuumslayer said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:17

    Oh yeah. I’m totally looking forward to the wingnuts tripling down on their nastiness when Obummer wins. Wingnuttiness can never fail, it can only be failed. WE MAY see Peak Wingnut this fall.

  396. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:17

    The lack of respect for UB40

    Neil Diamond. NEIL DIAMOND. NEIL DIAMOND!!!

  397. tigris said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:19

    Butt chug wine goes to my head

    DOIN IT RONG.

  398. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:22

    These assholes can wring their hands all they want, when a majority of randomly called people self-identify as Democrats who will vote for Obama it takes at least SOME evidence to claim COLLUSION + OVERSAMPLING = YAY ROMNEY WINS!

    I think they are spouting this nonsense to cover for the massive voter disenfranchisement they are trying to pull off. They’ll try to jettison Democratic voters from the rolls, then hold up their doctored polls and say, “See? We had the right numbers all along.”

    Red, red wine, stay up my ass
    Don’t let my colon rip,
    It’s tearing apart I need to fart

    Fixed that for great justice.

  399. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:23

    This thread is so awesome I am now going to commit ritual suicide.

  400. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:27

    This thread is so awesome I am now going to commit ritual suicide.

    Death by butt-chugging?

  401. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:32

    I’m going to apply the Unskewed Polls model to my everyday life.

    “My account is overdrawn? Maybe, according to your skewed numbers. Based on my age and education, I should be making 22% more than I do, and if you increase my account total by 22%, I’ll have more than enough to cover that check.”

    “The cover article was due last week? Your calendar is skewed. If you apply a Retroactive Procrastination Index of 0.58 to today’s date, you get a date from last week, so I still have another week to finish it.”

    “I was speeding? I’m sorry, officer, but your radar gun is skewed. If we reduce the reading by 17%, based on a number I just pulled out of my ass, you’ll find I was only going 54.”

  402. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:35

    Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue
    On that famous thoroughfare, with their noses in the air
    High hats and Arrowed collars, white spats and lots of dollars
    Spending every dime, for wonderful wine
    If you’re blue and you don’t know which end to do
    Why don’t you drink behind your nuts?
    Chuggin’ in the butt.
    Different types who wear a frat shirt, chaps with stripes
    And cut away jeans, doing what?
    Chuggin’ in the butt.

  403. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:47

    When it comes to the poll sample truthers… well, It’s Always Projection.

    Republicans, who buy and bribe manufacturers of electronic voting machines… who conduct voter purges… who pass barely-disguised poll taxes as “Voter ID Laws” to disenfranchise democrats… who restrict voting hours and withhold polling equipment in poor and minority precincts… who threaten and browbeat ballot examiners in recounts… who needed the Supreme Court to stop a recount to get their last president into the White House… who intentionally distort quotes and take people out of context for their criticisms… who think one of their biggest heroes is a man who intentionally edited video in order to lie and take down his liberal targets… these are their standard methods, therefore, they CANNOT imagine ANYONE taking any kind of un-influenced sample or letting any data go un-cherrypicked, or not twisting or coloring the facts to fit their worldview.

    It’s no wonder they never accept the election of a Democrat as legitimate. Given their whim, they’d never conduct a legitimate poll or take an unbiased sample themselves so naturally they are convinced that the media is doing the same thing.

    Like I said, it’s always projection.

  404. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:48

    I did have a good long talk with the world-renowned Moxie Ambassador, who owns the Kennebec Fruit Store (he sells more Moxie than fruit these days). Damn, I should grab a truckload of the stuff and sell it in Williamsburg to make a killing.

    You need to introduce the world to Moxie Buttchugging. An untapped* market!

    *Yes.

  405. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:53

    Required reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/30/books/review/the-great-disconnect.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all&_moc.semityn.www

    An excerpt:

    when Kesler begins his book by dismissing those who portray the president as “a third-world daddy’s boy, Alinskyist agitator, deep-cover Muslim or undocumented alien” the reader is relieved to know that “I Am the Change” won’t be another cheap, deflationary takedown.

    Instead, it is that rarest of things, a cheap inflationary takedown — a book that so exaggerates the historical significance of this four-year senator from Illinois, who’s been at his new job even less time, that he becomes both Alien and Predator. Granted, there is something about Obama that invites psychological projection, notably by Scandinavians bearing gifts. But Kesler outdoes the Nobel Prize committee by raising the Obama presidency to world-historical significance, constructing a fanciful genealogy of modern liberalism that begins just after the French Revolution in the works of the German philosopher G. W. F. Hegel; passes through Karl Marx and Charles Darwin and Oswald Spengler; and culminates in . . . “The Audacity of Hope” and 2,000-plus pages of technical jargon in the Affordable Care Act.

  406. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 22:54

    One for OBS:

    Brewskie Bubblechart of Buttchugger Bias

    Guinness is the only thing on that chart that I’d even consider drinking…

    Uh, thanks? Agreed on the Guinness thing too.

    Also? Too: I choose to assume that craft beers are so far off to the left of the chart that they just disappear. Likewise I also choose to image a chart that says “douchebag assholes” on one side and “asshole douchebags” on the other, and in the middle is a giant bubble labeled “PBR”.

  407. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:00

    I gotta say, writing butt-chug lyrics is hard. It just isn’t a euphonious phrase. Maybe that’s why it hasn’t featured in lyrics before now.

  408. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:06

    I gotta say, writing butt-chug lyrics is hard. It just isn’t a euphonious phrase. Maybe that’s why it hasn’t featured in lyrics before now.

    Yeah, I tried to do something with “boxwine enema” to the tune of “Rock The Casbah” but it didn’t work out well.

    I came up with the haiku instead.

  409. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:09

    Way, way OT: On my lunchtime run today I saw a bald eagle.

    Flying right above my house.

    In town.

    I do not remember ever seeing a bald eagle here before, and I’ve lived here my whole life.

    I thought that was kinda neat.

  410. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:10

    It just isn’t a euphonious phrase.

    I say again: ASSONANCE.

    Buttchugging away
    With my beautiful, my beautiful balloon
    The world’s a nicer place with my beautiful balloon
    I get totally shitfaced my beautiful balloon
    I can run the tube straight up my ass and squeeze it dry
    And I get high, I get high
    Buttchugging away
    With my beautiful, my beautiful balloon

  411. Golem Heart said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:17

    Ahh, one of my favorite Fifth Dimension songs, marred by the steady hand of a true poet. I see what you mean about assonance.

    The two “ups” in “Up, Up and Away” are not rendered legato, and the reader of Substance’s version should apply the same principle: “Butt! Chugging away,” etc.

  412. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:18

    Chuggin’ in the butt.

    thank you for the iced coffee that just came out my nose…

  413. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:18

    That song always brings a tear to my eye.

    Maybe I should get a smaller tube.

  414. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:21

    Required reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/30/books/review/the-great-disconnect.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all&_moc.semityn.www

    Yeah, not bad.

  415. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:22

    I thought that was kinda neat>

    did someone just say neat?

  416. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:23

    Waiting…

  417. bbkf said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:23

    Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:10

    you are a sick, sick but wildly clever man…

  418. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:24

    I LITERALLY L’edOL

    http://i.imgur.com/eqG3X.jpg

  419. smut clyde said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:29

    Guinness is the only thing on that chart that I’d even consider drinking…
    Drink it? What a waste!

    I do not remember ever seeing a bald eagle here before, and I’ve lived here my whole life.
    It was probably the Angel of Death.

  420. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:40

    I met you in somebody’s frat house
    You thought you had known me before
    I brought you a crate of Franzia
    It went right on in your back door
    You probably wouldn’t remember
    I probably couldn’t forget
    Buttchug love in the tub driving me insane
    I envy your enema set

    Buttchug love it’s drivin’ me mad
    It’s makin’ me crazy
    Buttchug love it’s drivin’ me mad
    It’s makin’ me crazy

  421. smut clyde said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:40

    From Pupienus’ book-review linkage:
    Though all the bad stuff in 20th-century European history derives from Hegel’s idea, according to Kesler, servile Europeans still hold to it.

    Sounds like Kesler is riffing on Popper’s “Open Society & its Enemies”.
    Now I am as happy as anyone to join the queue and put the boot into Hegel, but post-Popper historians seem to have moved on from this idea that Hegel was the foundational arch-enemy of Freedom. At least Popper had the excuse that when he was writing The Open Society he was exiled in New Zealand, separated from his books, and distracted by the demands of trying to teach philosophy to an uninterested class full of cow-cockies.

  422. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:41

    It was probably the Angel of Death.

    Oh noes! I barely escaped!

  423. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:51

    Substance McGravitas said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:40 (kill)

    An instant classic in the genre — straight to the top of the charts with a bullet!

  424. bughunter said,

    September 27, 2012 at 23:55

    I just finished reading Lilla’s review of Kesler, too… and it sounds like the academic’s version of Glenn Beck’s blackboard… aptly cited.

    And I have it on good word that David Hume could outconsume William Freiderich Hegel.

    However I suspect it was because Hegel was a buttchugger.

  425. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 0:06

    However I suspect it was because Hegel was a buttchugger

    Related

  426. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 0:07

    Note that link is the live version with slightly different lyrics than those quoted by bughunter. Hegel is still in there though.

    Also.

  427. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 0:34

    Evidently an angel of death in the form of a bald eagle has descended upon the thread. Oh well, it’s beer:30 anyway.

  428. bughunter said,

    September 28, 2012 at 0:40

    Over at the Daily Beast, Michael Tomasky has already broken out the popcorn.

    There is no joy in the kingdom of man so great as the joy of seeing bullies and hucksters laid low, and watching people who have arrogantly spent years assuming they were right about the world living to see all those haughty assumptions die before their eyes. Watching them squirm is more fun than watching Romney and Paul Ryan flail away.

    I’m gonna wait for election night myself. These buttchuggers aren’t just deluded, they’re also corrupt, dishonest, and mean… it ain’t over yet.

  429. Pere Ubu said,

    September 28, 2012 at 0:54

    Oh, joy, speaking of buttchuggers, I see the VDARE troll is back.

  430. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 28, 2012 at 1:07

    I was in Detroit in the summer of 1967, just as I was there for a week or two every year before and would be for many years following. We always stayed with my mom’s sister out by Nine Mile a half-mile or so west of Gratiot so I didn’t see anything that wasn’t on tv. As I recall the riots were sparked by the all-white police force arresting like a hundred black people at an unlicensed drinking establishment. IIRC, it was a party for some returning Vietnam war vets. One thing I remember clearly was Willie Horton – not that one, the Tigers player – standing on the corner, in his Tigers uniform trying to calm things down. Unsuccessfully, as it turned out but props to him.

    While the spark was the police action, the tension had been long been building with an all-white city hall and an almost or nearly all white constabulary.

  431. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 1:29

    Now I have the “Shop steward, shop shop steward” refrain from “Miss Shapiro” going through my mind, but changed to “Butt chugging, butt butt chugging”. You people have ruined 801 for me. I hope you’re satisfied.

    I see the VDARE troll is back.
    Noticed the other day that Ann Coulter had gone full White Supremacist. I guess she knows what her readers want.

  432. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 1:33

    Michael Tomasky has already broken out the popcorn.
    Butt popcorn is not the way to go. I am told.

  433. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 1:35

    We’ve only just buttchugged
    Wine laced with promises
    A fist for luck and we’re on our way
    We’ve only just buttchugged

    Before the reisling runs, we cry
    So many roads to choose
    We start butt-chugging
    And earn the runs
    And yes! We’ve just buttchugged

    Sharin’ box wine ingested through our butts
    Whooshin’ the wines along their way
    Tubin’ shit ov-au jus le deux anus
    Chuggin’ together day to day …

  434. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 28, 2012 at 1:54

    3G net (phone & Freedom Pro keybd) only for the last few days, and I’m a MEEELION comments behind.
    .

  435. bughunter said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:11

    JP, just put the words “butt” and “chug” in your post and you’ll at least appear current.

  436. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:13

    Boozers can’t be chuggers.

  437. Snorghagen said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:17

    Anonymous said,
    September 28, 2012 at 0:36

    White people can’t form paragraphs.

  438. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:17

    How much wine would a buttchug chug if a buttchug could chug wine?

  439. the interbutt oracle said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:27

    *Zorch!*

  440. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:31

    White people can’t form paragraphs.

    White people may have invented paragraphs, but white pride types are seldom any good at stuff, whatever its pedigree.

  441. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:34

    To hell with paragraphs, I want a *real* graph.

  442. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:42

    A real graph, LOL.

    I have some skill with words, but I have trouble with paragraphs. I blame acid. Seriously. What’s the main idea? I just find associations and relationships, on and on like a kaleidoscope. That’s not all due to acid, but the acid didn’t help one bit.

  443. bughunter said,

    September 28, 2012 at 2:43

    More major food crime in the Great White North.

    What could be less threatening than cheese smugglers? Even their felons are more polite.

  444. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:06

    We’ve only just buttchugged

    Easy! In some sense.

  445. Major Kong said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:09

    It’s all good fun until someone gets buttchugged….

  446. N__B said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:11

    Don’t guys named Butch deserve to be hugged like everyone else?

  447. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:12

    Easy! In some sense.

    For some lines, I had to restrain myself, and just let the Carpenters’ latent buttchuggery shine thru.

  448. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:14

    …and butt-absinthe is only for the die-hard buttchugger, what with having to get the sugar cube and the little spoon in there.

  449. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:18

    AHEM @ Xecky.

  450. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:35

    Well I never kept a bottle past sunset,
    It always burned a hole in my pants.
    Never made me feel less than crappy,
    Even when the juice came from France, oh no

    I need a buttchug to keep me happy,
    I need a buttchug to keep me happy.
    Baby, baby keep me happy.
    Baby, baby keep me happy.

  451. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:39

    He just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag
    Fulla the Illinois enema bandit juice
    He just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag
    Fulla the Illinois enema bandit juice

    The Illinois enema bandit
    I heard it on the news
    I heard it on the news
    Bloomington Illinois…he has caused some alarm
    Just sneakin’ around there
    From farm to farm
    Got a rubberized bag
    And a hose on his arm
    Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
    That he just might wanna pump
    Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
    That he just might wanna pump

  452. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 28, 2012 at 3:59

    More major food crime in the Great White North.

    What could be less threatening than cheese smugglers? Even their felons are more polite.

    You say that now, but that cheese was smuggled- yeah, you got it- up their butts. It’s called butt-cheddaring.

  453. tigris said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:10

    You say that now, but that cheese was smuggled- yeah, you got it- up their butts. It’s called butt-cheddaring.

    The best butts for butt-cheddaring are said to be from the westernmost province. You’ve probably heard the tales of the excellence of BC butt…

  454. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:11

    Buttcheese seems overall much less dangerous than buttwine.

  455. N__B said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:26

    Butt ermilk is an expensive rarity because of the difficulty in getting the ermines to stand still for the process.

  456. bughunter said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:36

    Scrolling back up to review lyrics, I just had an ‘orrible image…

    Please, PLEASE: No one tell the Southern Cross Vulgarians about boxwine enemas… they might get new drinking ideas.

  457. tigris said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:41

    Buttcheese seems overall much less dangerous than buttwine.

    With both you have the makings of a party.

  458. tigris said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:42

    Butt baguettes would seem to be carrying things too far, though.

  459. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:45

    You’ve probably heard the tales of the excellence of BC butt…

    FREE MARK ENEMERY!

  460. Snorghagen said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:49

    To hell with paragraphs, I want a *real* graph.

    I know what you mean. I’m sick of shampoos.

  461. Oregon Buttwine Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 4:51

    Pork butt served with buttwine and a nice moldy buttcheese is a delicacy in most civilized parts of the world.

  462. butthunter said,

    September 28, 2012 at 5:06

    Let NO one tell you that scatology is the lowest form of humor. S,Nauts are actively raising it to a higher [and simultaneously lower] art.

  463. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 5:20

    Let NO one tell you that scatology is the lowest form of humor.

    It’s lower-waste level humour.

  464. another kiwi said,

    September 28, 2012 at 5:32

    More major food crime in the Great White North.

    What could be less threatening than cheese smugglers? Even their felons are more polite.
    Ahem, from 2009 in New Zealand!!

  465. another kiwi said,

    September 28, 2012 at 5:54

    TPM has a video about faux and fiends doing some bleating about polls that are hurting their fee-fees. At the end of the clip is the Kilmeade Quote of the Century
    “We are being attacked through comedy”
    I thought it was the insane weasels in yer head, Bri.

  466. Snorghagen said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:23

    “We are being attacked through comedy”

    Comedic aggression threatens America!

  467. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:25

    Attacking through comedy? Is there a word for that?

  468. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:31

    Pails are signs of God’s hue.
    Minimalism is not just batting warm ogres but also batting nuts.
    Strength is not just cheering appreciative klutzs but also cheering chumps.
    Gender-bending is not just losing easygoing close friends but also losing affirmative action poster boys.

  469. Phoenix Woman said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:34

    Know your enema!

    (Pssst! If the T-roofers show up here again, ask them if they’ve ever seen a blacksmith at work. They don’t seem to realize that metals start to soften and bend at temperatures far lower than their melting points.)

  470. Whale Chowder said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:48

    Buttchug just a little more wine
    And our high will surely grow
    Buttchug just a little more wine-uh
    And stains will begin to show

  471. Whale Chowder said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:49

    I’m sick of shampoos.

    Come for the butchugging,
    Stay for the punnery.

  472. Snorghagen said,

    September 28, 2012 at 7:01

    Know your enema!

    Public Enema No. 1

  473. John Revolta said,

    September 28, 2012 at 7:16

    With friends like these……………….

  474. N__B said,

    September 28, 2012 at 12:44

    …who needs buttchugging?

  475. N__B said,

    September 28, 2012 at 13:50

    Sometimes, “Fuck you, you useless sack of garbage” just isn’t enough: http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/david/catholic-bishop-voting-obama-jeopardizes-ete

  476. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 14:01

    “Jeeves, bring me an enema bag of the Côtes du Rhône — and warm it this time.”
    Because he’s the buttler, see.
    SOMEONE LAUGH.

  477. Pere Ubu said,

    September 28, 2012 at 14:08

    One might argue for different methods in the platform to address the needs of the poor, to feed the hungry and to solve the challenges of immigration, but these are prudential judgments about the most effective means of achieving morally desirable ends, not intrinsic evils.

    Of course not, abandoning 47% of the American public as useless parasites and making things miserable enough for immigrants that they “self-deport” isn’t intrinsically evil.

  478. smut clyde said,

    September 28, 2012 at 14:16

    What could be less threatening than cheese smugglers?

    Police are grilling a suspect.
    I’ll shut up now.

  479. Alex Jones said,

    September 28, 2012 at 14:25

    (Pssst! If the T-roofers show up here again, ask them if they’ve ever seen a blacksmith at work. They don’t seem to realize that metals start to soften and bend at temperatures far lower than their melting points.)

    Windsor Tower, Madrid, 2005, burned for twenty-four hours you dumb fuck. Did it soften and bend? Yeah. Did it explode into fucking dust in ten seconds? No.

    Seriously, people with brains actually believe this shit? Boggles my fucking mind.

  480. Pryme said,

    September 28, 2012 at 14:45

    Police are grilling a suspect.
    I’ll shut up now.

    A swing and a Swiss. Cheddar luck next time.

  481. N__B said,

    September 28, 2012 at 14:47

    You Munster!

  482. Pryme said,

    September 28, 2012 at 15:24

    Post-racial America, everybody!

  483. bughunter said,

    September 28, 2012 at 15:43

    I’d love to stay and trade puns, but I gouda go to work.

  484. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 28, 2012 at 15:47

    AHEM @ Xecky.

    Sorry. I don’t keep close enough track these days – you’d have to buttchug this thread to stay on top of it.

  485. Pryme said,

    September 28, 2012 at 15:54

    Everybody just needs to brie and calm down.

  486. kg said,

    September 28, 2012 at 15:56

    sarah silverman’s voter ID video is really funny.

  487. tigris said,

    September 28, 2012 at 16:11

    Alex Jones, I don’t give a shit what your opinion is on any subject, or from which part of your anatomy you extracted it, but that nasty, unwarranted personal attack shows what sort of treatment you deserve, so fuck off you useless waste of skin.

  488. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 16:21

    sarah silverman’s voter ID video is really funny.

    I thought it was good. Not a big Sarah Silverman fan. It catches the viewer’s attention early on (“they want to fuck you in the ass”) in a way that seems self-indulgent. The metaphor is apt — voter suppression efforts will fuck you over pretty good — but a swath of the people she’s trying to help might be jarred. I see no problem in the “yellow discharge” joke, contra some viewers … Sarah being Sarah is not important to me, compared to the election. But anyhow, I’m glad she did the video, and it’s well-done.

  489. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 16:56

    omg, guys…this is totally rich…and hypocrital…and full of it’s always projection! from time to time i’ve regaled y’all to the ramblings of our local paper’s insane and chief obama hater…many letters to the editor have been written regarding his continual printing of chain emails from his buddies…the latest being that snopes is full of shite and they are lefties funded by soros…here’s his response (sorry it’s long, but oh my it’s worth it (but you may want to wear a neck brace because your head WILL snap back and forth a few times)):

    We’d like to clarify ourselves to our readers as to what this column is all about. Reason why is tat as evident by some letters to the editors of late…..namely XXXXXX and XXXXXX, both long-time friends of Hooterville…. we have been accused of using non-factual material from readers. Let it be known that many of the articles we have run have been submitted to us by readers we know and who we feel are of high integrity, and we run them out of courtesy to the person(s) submitting. Most of the material is the opinion of the submitter. We have been criticized that we should check out the opion-material is factual….both GXXX and BXXX giving us organizations “they say” are the “real true” checkers of the facts, such as SNOPES and the latest being one called FactCheck.ORG. And who is to say those “fact checkers” are so almighty honest? We asked BXXX if he knew for a fact that material from either organization was TRUE. We never got an answer! For example, the organization called SNOPES has for many moons been “considered” as THE SOURCE BEYOND ANY DOUBT OF HONEST-TO-GOODNESS FACT! Now it’s been “proven” by some group….factual or not….that Snopes has not always been FACTUAL. So…we ask…who is one to believe?? Just last week, BXXXX, at our request, for which we exxtend thanks, submitted to us yet another “fact-checking” froup, called FactCheck.org. We again asked BXXX if he could PROVE to us that they were not just as “un-trustworthy” as the great SNOPES! His reply was that “because SNOPES is only run by two people, a mand and wife, whereas FactCheck has a large staff of 19 highly regarded persons, the odds are they would be more accurate.” Sw, we asked of BXXX, “are we to think that the larger staff can be more trusted just because of their size??” If so, to that reasoning, we say HOG-WASH! We know a newspaper, in its news columns, should be certain that facts are true. But, by the very title of our columns, it is not necessarily meant to be only news….it’s full of “ODDS AND ENDS,” which we have always tried to keep entertaining and enlightening, and RESPECTFUL of readers who wish we publish their copy that they (in our opinion and knowledge of the reader’s integrity )merely wish to share with our readers. As in all opinion columns, som readers may agree, some may not…which is their right…but we respect their right under the First Amendment of our Constitution, that they are entitled to freedom of speech and press….so long, agin in our opinion, profane language is not used, and if so, we have the right and duty to delete such profanity. We conclude here by saying we never intend to harm or offend anyone in this column. As always, we invite your opinions from one and all, and thank you all for your support in the past, present, and certainly future. God Bless.

    in another tid-bit, he again rakes BXXX over the coals regarding “what has been accepted as factual since 2008, that Obama, shortly after elected to office, toured several countries throughout the world…..and all at taxpayer expense, we assume…….apologizing for our nation on various subjects. We couldn’t believe, and still to this day, can’t believe the response from BXXX: “I can’t answer that for I have never seen the facts!” Really???? The President’s “apology action” is pretty much an accepted fact world-wide, in that his action was and has been reported by ever news agency world-wide. It’s obvious to us now that BXXX refuses to believe “it” or anything unless it comes from a “fact” agency that he considers his ONLY TRUE FACT SOURCE. We wonder if he would believe that the recent Colorado Theater massacre actually took place…unless it came from BXXX’s “fact agency that he considers his ONLY TRUE FACT SOURCE.”

    what i really find humorous is that later on, he points out that in material given to him by both GXXX and BXXX from FactCheck that ‘the word Koran was incorrectly spelled Quran. True, it could be a typo, but is that FACTUAL??’

    jeez? number one, aren’t there many widely accepted spelling of some foreign words regionally? and number two, his entire paper is completely unfactual based on that criteria since one of the games that most readers play every week is ‘find the typos!’

    the man is clearly insane and i am sorely, sorely tempted to urge all you sadlies to deluge the offices of the ‘hooterville indigestion’ with letters pointing out that a)chain emails generally are NOT factual and as such, snopes is usually asked to check them out because they fall under the purview of urban legends, which is what they do. and further that b)you cannot claim to be quoting someone when you are clearly not quoting them verbatim and that c)your obtuseness regarding their replies to you do not mean that they suffer the same delusions as you regarding the “facts” and realities that make up your wingnut world.

    again, sorry for the length, but bobdammit, i shouldn’t have to suffer these things alone…

  490. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:01

    This morning the newsdorks said that Soros gave a million bucks to a pro-Obama super PAC. Can’t WAIT for the editorial rationalizations for the difference between the Kochs, Adelson and Soros….

    Hysterical wingnuts will be hysterical.

  491. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:20

    Grape wine in an enema bag
    Homemade and brought to school
    By a friend of mine after class
    Me and him and this other fool
    Decided that we’ll butt-chug whats left
    Butt-chug so I plugged myself
    first time for everything
    umm my ass still stings

    Butt-chug butt-chug
    Make u wanna holla hidy hole,
    Burns your asshole don’t you know
    Butt-chug butt-chug

  492. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:20

    Hysterical wingnuts will be hysterical.

    right? and for me and the non-profit world, soros is a well-regarded philanthropist…to my knowledge he did not buy himself a cowboy town just for his own weird amusement…

  493. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:22

    Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:20

    has anyone re-wrote roger miller’s ‘chug-a-lug’ yet?

  494. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:36

    Public Enema No. 1

    Shouldn’t that be number two?

  495. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 28, 2012 at 17:50

    Hysterical wingnuts will be hysterical.

    And not notice that Soros’ contribution is 1% of Adelson’s? Yeah.

  496. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 18:43

    I’m sick of shampoos.

    Come for the butchugging,
    Stay for the punnery.

    holy crap…i just got that now…man, i can be dense…

  497. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 18:44

    Buttcheese seems overall much less dangerous than buttwine.

    discerning minds need to know how it compares with fromunda cheese…

  498. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 18:47

    For bbkf.

  499. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 18:48

    has anyone re-wrote roger miller’s ‘chug-a-lug’ yet?

    Wait’ll the verse when his uncle helps him out.

  500. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 18:51

    For bbkf.

    ha!

    Wait’ll the verse when his uncle helps him out.

    i eagerly await your brilliancy…

  501. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:11

    also, too…re: catlick bishop and demoncrats…true story that just happened last night:

    a portly gentleman and a lady came in to the club last night. he was dressed in black and i thought i caught a glimpse of a clerical collar…when i went over to their table, i saw he was wearing a short sleeved black dress shirt with a white t-shirt underneath…i was all like, ‘oh ha…when you first walked in, i thought you were a minister!’ and he was all like, ‘oh, ha! i am one!’ and then he made a joke about how people always mistake him for johnny cash and i made a joke about how that was going to be my next question for him…so anyhoo, he and the lady had supper and they really sat at the most unfortunate table because we had a couple of potty mouth guys sitting at the bar which is close to that table…anyhoo, the ‘minister’ handled it with aplomb…when they were done and came up to the bar to pay their bill, i asked him where his church was, etc. since we hadn’t seen him before…he said he was father bryan and had three churches in small towns to the southeast of us…i asked him what brought him this way and he said he and the lady (who my dimbulb cohort thought was his wife even though he gave us ‘get out of jail free’ cards that had ‘father bryan’ and his catholic church affiliation on them) had been out deliving bread and breadstuffs to families in need…and by that he meant moms who are working not well paying jobs who have kids and are having an increasinly harder time making ends meet…so we thought this was pretty cool. he was leaving and dimbulb’s husband who hadn’t been paying attention and had a pretty good tune on, called him back and asked what it was he was doing, which father bryan explaned again about the bread and stuff. dimbulb’s husband who is a big dude who drinks, smokes and swears like a sailor but has one of the most generous heart, promptly hands him a hondo…and then i dug in my tip jar and gave him a twenty…he seemed quite surprised and touched. so, we were visiting a bit more and he said that he is really, really worried about the coming election and when he heard rmoney say that in seven years the medicatre program will be gone, it really struck him because his dad has the beginnings of alzheimers and his mom has cancer…even though dimbulb is a republican and completely racist, he and i continued on with our conversation…he was really pretty interesting and his small outreach i found to be awesome…out here in the sticks, we are the first to get cuts in funding for highways, infrastructure and social programs…so, to that catholic bishop, i join n_b in a hearty fuck you you sack of garbage…not all your brethren feel the way you do, so stfu…

  502. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:14

    interesting note to lengthy comment on insane newspaper guy…i called up bXXX this morning and told him he had my full support and that the way dumbass took him to task was terrible and that i had been composing my own letter but wanted to be very, very careful with it so as not to piss off any donors…he told me not to because dumbass not only misquoted him, but called him twice…and he said those phone calls were NOT nice at all…and he didn’t want me to receive the same treatment…and he appreciated my call….between last night’s incident and that, my faith in humanity has revived a tish…

  503. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:19

    oh, haha! republican derp just referred to the aca as the ‘UNaffordable care act’ on mpr…stop, my side, it aches from the laffter…

  504. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:23

    Speaking of derp, Netanyahooooooo’s little graphic with the Spy Vs. Spy bomb on it was pretty awesome–in an “OMG, he’s showing this shit to the United Nations-LOL” sort of way…

  505. jim, tripping on the funky way Ubuntu tweaks the Sadlyfont said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:38

    Hey kids, I was away for a while – so what’d I m-?

    *backs slowly out of thread*

  506. Major Kong said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:38

    Ugh. Rough week. Fighting bad weather, lack of sleep and a head cold to the East Coast and back all week.

  507. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:44

    a head cold to the East Coast and back all week.

    that is one big head cold…

  508. Whale Chowder said,

    September 28, 2012 at 19:48

    Ugh. Rough week.

    That does sound rough. You should take it easy. Sit back, relax, have an enema bag of wine…

  509. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:13

    Would you like some cheese with that wine?

  510. Pryme said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:25

    …and the Slow Golf Clap goes to: tsam!

  511. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:30

    Here’s some butttwine to wrap up your package of buttwine. Don’t buttwhine about it if it gets damaged in shipping — that’d be the pilot’s fault, I hear he has a cold.

  512. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:37

    Really UCLA? This research just begged to be done? Oh…kay…

    I’m unsure what the exact right-wing reaction will be, but it’s certain to be full of stupid.

  513. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:53

    Really UCLA? This research just begged to be done?

    They buried the lede:

    “Perhaps interestingly, Democrat congressmen also appeared more masculine than Republican ones.

    ‘It may be unnecessary for Republican men to exhibit masculinity through their appearance,’ Carpinella commented.”

  514. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:55

    I really hope the mom of this girl isn’t a catholic/fundie/republican. Gah.

    Also, too &c: Here’s a small update to the UT buttchugger frat. The kid survived and is now denying buttchugging, but “Investigators didn’t buy it, particularly given injuries to Broughton’s rectum and a bloody mess found in the Pike house restroom.”

  515. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:56

    It may be unnecessary for Republican men to exhibit masculinity through their appearance,’ Carpinella commented.

    Yeah, I liked that part too — it’s certainly couldn’t be any other possible reason. Nope, no way.

  516. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 20:58

    “it’s certainly couldn’t”?

    I certainly didn’t mean to type that.

  517. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:03

    Really UCLA? This research just begged to be done?

    wow, i have never equated looking downright batshit crazy as being ‘sexy’…also, too…color me shocked that republicans are more likely to think of women as sex objects…i am shocked, i say!

  518. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:07

    Buncha interesting “Mitt is toast” posts at The Corner, which has strangely moved away from the free and open Disqus…unless it’s another technical problem with their stupid site.

  519. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:08

    I really hope the mom of this girl isn’t a catholic/fundie/republican. Gah.

    holyfuckingshit…remember that glimmer of hope i was talking about earlier? yeah, flush that…jeezus h…i’m not sure there’s enough room for me to comment on just what i would do if my dead criminal middle aged boyfriend knocked up my eleven year old…let’s just say it wouldn’t be pretty…

    on an upnote/antidote, my faithful volunteer presented me with a 750 of hendricks and 3 cucumbers for my birthday…rest assured all will be put to good use…

  520. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:10

    3 cucumbers for my birthday…rest assured all will be put to good use…

    AND NO, NOT THAT!!! jeez, ya bunch of preverts…

  521. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:18

    AND NO, NOT THAT!!! jeez, ya bunch of preverts…

    Probably pondered perverted pickling. Perhaps?

  522. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:19

    That UCLA study seems poorly-conceived. I don’t accept that “how much the details of any one face approach the average for either gender” (as computed by the FaceGen modeler) corresponds to how we judge the femininity/masculinity of a person’s appearance.

  523. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:20

    Preemptively positing potential perversions:

    Pickling the cucumber.

  524. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:23

    Pausing, perusing page ‘pon page of porcine pornography.

    Perhaps pursuing procurement presently.

  525. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:41

    At the end of the clip is the Kilmeade Quote of the Century
    “We are being attacked through comedy”

    I dunno, I don’t think anything will ever top his dumbass jetpacks vs. choppers line.

  526. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:41

    (as computed by the FaceGen modeler)

    Those things are pure shit. I have an iPhone app that swears I’m attractive. LOL.

  527. tigris said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:41

    wow, i have never equated looking downright batshit crazy as being ‘sexy’

    Forget mascara, nothing says feminine like crazy eyes.

  528. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:43

    Pausing, perusing page ‘pon page of porcine pornography.

    in the words of the great homer…

  529. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:43

    Plumbing pink plonk.

  530. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:45

    You know, the early post-mortems for Romney are pretty hilarious. They all chock it up to him being a bad candidate. He’s probably not the greatest candidate ever, but that’s not his problem. What happened to him is the same thing that’s happening to Tommy Thompson. They all ran primaries against stupid motherfuckers and now they’re stuck all the stupid motherfucking shit they said to make stupid motherfuckers vote for them. Romney is no exception. When you have to crawl in the sewer with rats like Bachmann, Cain, Santorum and Gingrich, you’re going to come out stinking like them.

  531. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:47

    Spider Pig, Spider Pig…
    Does whatever a Spider Pig does…

  532. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:51

    They all ran primaries against stupid motherfuckers and now they’re stuck all the stupid motherfucking shit they said to make stupid motherfuckers vote for them. Romney is no exception. When you have to crawl in the sewer with rats like Bachmann, Cain, Santorum and Gingrich, you’re going to come out stinking like them.

    The funny thing is that the base will claim he lost because he wasn’t conservative enough and they’ll double down on the crazy.

    Norris/Nugent 2016!

  533. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:54

    You know, the early post-mortems for Romney are pretty hilarious.

    Predicting politico’s potential pitfalls? Perilous.

    OK, I’ll stop now.

    I really wish this was all happening about 3 days before voting day (yes, I know early voting has started some places). But like I (think) I’ve said before — I will not feel “safe” about this election until I hear rMoney’s reluctant concession speech the night of the election. Or maybe a couple days later the way things are going so ape-shit crazy. I always kinda thought that there would be a real “peak” wingnut. Now? Nope, the crazy is infinite.

  534. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:59

    [ot F1 news]

    Holy shit! Schumacher is out at Mercedes and will be replaced by Hamilton.

    I evidently haven’t been paying attention, ’cause that was a surprise to me.
    [/F1]

    Carry on.

  535. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 21:59

    I will not feel “safe” about this election until I hear rMoney’s reluctant concession speech the night of the election.

    Me either. I’m half thinking that this “woe is us” bullshit all these supergenius columnists are writing is meant to energize the base. They’re already saying that polls are all totally liberal and full of shit, and that BO & MR are actually tied, rather than BO having MR in a tentative arm bar.

  536. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:00

    Right now the crazy is being hashed out between LGM and Crooked Timber. It’s a weird bloodbath. In this thread Brad DeLong keeps pointing at an “inspiring” speech by Al Gore that he thinks proves Gore wouldn’t have invaded Iraq, while in the speech itself Gore talks about how you should invade Iraq with international consensus.

  537. vacuumslayer said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:04

    Hey, quick OT question for those of you know about or have experience with this stuff…

    I finally broke down and went to the doctor and got treatment for my worsening depression/anxiety. I was prescribed Celexa. Like most anti-depressants it says not to drink while taking it. But since you take it every day, what does that mean? Does that mean I can never have a glass of wine or two when I go out to eat or watch a movie? What?

  538. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:07

    Right now the crazy is being hashed out between LGM and Crooked Timber.

    Yeah, I saw the LGM threads. I posted a link to this timely article in response to one of them. The author summed up most of my ideas on the whole thing way more coherently than I could.

  539. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:10

    Does that mean I can never have a glass of wine or two when I go out to eat or watch a movie? What?

    Depends on the drug, and alcohol is a depressant. In my experience I got a little more headachy mixing some SSRIs with alcohol, but not with others, but it’s not like you’re gonna poison yourself unless you buttchug too much.

  540. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:11

    I was prescribed Celexa.

    No personal experience, but a family friend is a heavy drinker and continued to be while on that drug. He experienced some pretty severe mental side effects (e.g. becoming a violent psychotic) until he quit the drug…

  541. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:12

    Things change fast. Reagan was a vapid fringe-right-wing idiot, until he wasn’t.

    A big difference is that Reagan did well in the debates because he was a professional performer. Mitt isn’t; those speeches in front of terrified employees whose companies Bain just bought don’t count.

  542. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:26

    Thanks, Sub, OBS…sounds like very conservative moderation may be the key.

    But I’d love more info from others who’ve taken depression meds.

  543. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:31

    VS–

    I’m on Sertraline, which is another SSRI like Celexa.

    I do drink while I’m on it, and all it has 2 side effects:

    1) A bit of depression the day following anymore than about 5 or 6 beers

    2) Complete blackouts if I really hit it hard.

    If I have a beer with dinner or a couple while I’m watching the game or something, it has no discernable effect.

  544. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:35

    Note that all people respond differently, but here is what I recommend.

    Stay away from alcohol for the first month or so, then start with one glass of wine and see what it does. Work your way up to 3 or 4, and just see. It isn’t going to do anything really bad (except maybe make you insanely horny, like it does to me…;).

    But do give it some time for the drug to level out and your seratonin levels to stabilize.

  545. tsam said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:37

    I’ve also mixed the Sertraline with quite a few other…um…things. Nothing has proven to be a problem yet.

  546. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:39

    But do give it some time for the drug to level out and your seratonin levels to stabilize.

    Yes. You’re gonna feel weird for a couple of weeks. Then you may find a more cheerful level of weirdness.

  547. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:42

    Yeah, I saw the LGM threads. I posted a link to this timely article in response to one of them. The author summed up most of my ideas on the whole thing way more coherently than I could.

    You must have seen that Erik liked that.

  548. Whale Chowder said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:44

    Schumacher is out at Mercedes and will be replaced by Hamilton.

    Yeah, not particularly surprising. That move was one of the core rumors of silly season over the last couple of races.

    You may not be aware that Lewis tweeted performance graphs as well as other dirty laundry that pretty well hacked off the team. At one point (Monza?) there was speculation that he’d be fired outright.

    Good thing he’s an outstanding shoe because otherwise nobody’d have him.

    And Schumi is past his sell-by date. It’s too bad but on the other hand he’s earned more money than God over a record long career so I don’t feel all that sorry for him.

    I do feel kind of bad for Massa. He’s just never been the same since he got clonked by that spring a couple years ago and he’s going to be out of F1 without ever winning a championship.

  549. Nym said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:46

    Nope, the crazy is infinite.

    Occasionally it self-corrects.

    (I wonder what kind of horrible wingnut screeds will be spun from this?)

  550. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:48

    Thanks, tsam!. I think a.) giving the drug time to work and b.) going tr moderation route sounds prudent. /

  551. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:49

    I finally broke down and went to the doctor and got treatment for my worsening depression/anxiety. I was prescribed Celexa. Like most anti-depressants it says not to drink while taking it. But since you take it every day, what does that mean? Does that mean I can never have a glass of wine or two when I go out to eat or watch a movie? What?

    oh, sweetie, i’m with you!!! in my experience, that is what they are hoping for, since the consensus is that depressed/anxious people should not be drinking…i take zoloft for depression and fibro related stuff and i drink copiously…and i usually don’t take it if i’ve drank a shit ton, it’s late and i have to get to work in the morning, because i will be GROGGY…but my pharmacists laffs at me because i worry about drinking and taking it and not waking up ever…anyhoo, hubbkf is and has at various other times been on more potent stuff for depression/anxiety…he can drink NOW on it, but when he was building up his tolerance for it, holy shit was he a freaking mad man on it…upshot, a glass of wine or two will not make you freak the fuck out, but you might want to give yourself some time before you hit the hard stuff…and then remember my two mottos: everything in moderation and safety first! and also, always have a good base before you hit the hooch…imma hook up with you on your blahg so we can have a chat…

  552. another kiwi said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:51

    For them’s of a New York persuasion : The Creative New Zealanders in NY list

  553. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:52

    i see that since i was interrupted in the midst of my last comment that others have gotten there before me :)

    But do give it some time for the drug to level out and your seratonin levels to stabilize.

    Yes. You’re gonna feel weird for a couple of weeks. Then you may find a more cheerful level of weirdness.

    so true…also, i’ve tried just about every depression drug out there and none of them worked without side effects i was NOT willing to live with re: the opposite of tsams drug induced insane horniness…the zoloft works wonders for me with really no side effects…

  554. another kiwi said,

    September 28, 2012 at 22:55

    Also I have no experience of it VS but I reckon easing into it would be the key.

  555. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:00

    Oh, thank you, bbkf! The idea of cutting back–even significantly–didn’t bother me…but never ever being to kick back with a nightcap or two made me, well, DEPRESSED.

  556. bbkf said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:04

    Oh, thank you, bbkf! The idea of cutting back–even significantly–didn’t bother me…but never ever being to kick back with a nightcap or two made me, well, DEPRESSED

    right? that’s part of the reason i didn’t stick with lyrica for the fibromyalgia…cuz, sometimes a girl just has to get her drink on!

  557. Golem Heart said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:10

    I finally broke down and went to the doctor and got treatment for my worsening depression/anxiety. I was prescribed Celexa. Like most anti-depressants it says not to drink while taking it. But since you take it every day, what does that mean? Does that mean I can never have a glass of wine or two when I go out to eat or watch a movie? What?

    I was on Celexa while sober, with an occasional binge toward the tail end of the prescription. I could not get a straight answer from my psychiatrist about the “do not drink” business. Pissed me off, that.

  558. N__B said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:10

    AK – the cover photograph is downtown Brooklyn. Oops.

  559. another kiwi said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:16

    Well it’s a big world ya know

  560. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:24

    Thanks for weighing in everybody. I feel loads better.

  561. tsam is not a sexist, he just really loves sammiches and has no tact said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:30

    There’s nothing to be scared of. After about a month or so, you feel pretty much same, with far less of the negativity that depression is giving you. For me, it came out in inappropriate anger and anxiety. I’m doing MUCH better now, and I drink fairly often.

  562. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:31

    I’m really happy to hear that, tsam. Awesome!

  563. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:47

    There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
    And she’s buttchugging gallons of malbec.

    Couldn’t get anywhere with that. Tried this:

    Buttchug
    You don’t have to pour out the red wine
    Those days are over
    You don’t have to seal your buttocks all that tight
    Buttchug
    You don’t have to wear that dress tonight
    Better stay in the apartment
    You don’t want to wade around in shite.
    Buttchug
    You don’t have to shit on the bed, right?
    Buttchug
    You don’t have to shit on the bed, right?

    Then I realized there was no hope, so I decided to work on my book instead.

  564. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:49

    Also, too, VS — I’ve had a couple massive bouts of depression and didn’t get treated for it. Lasted an average of 18 extra months, I suspect, because I was too much of a man to deal with it.

    Good on your for being proactive.

  565. Whale Chowder said,

    September 28, 2012 at 23:56

    I decided to work on my book instead.

    Yeah, quit fucking around on the innertoobs and get ta writin’ ya bastid.

  566. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:01

    You must have seen that Erik liked that.

    Yeah, and nobody even noticed when I linked to it. I tried commenting again but it’s not working. I think Loomis doesn’t like me. Oh well, no big loss.

  567. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:02

    VS -tsam is right; keep off alcohol for a while, then slowly get back to it and see how it affects you. I’ve been on SSRIs and SSNRIs for ages and while my ETOH intake is like one glass of wine with dinner and a beer every three months or so, I’ve never noticed any drawbacks. YMMV, though.

    And I got fired last month for being a horrible nasty rude pharmacy tech, so what the fuck do I know.

  568. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:06

    From Nym’s link:

    A history of mental illness, the loss of a dear uncle, and a growing fear of Obama winning a second term in the White House took its toll on the mind of Mr Peterson, a wealthy defense contractor, the friend said.

    Mr Peterson was a defense contractor and Mrs Peterson worked at Blackbird Technologies, a company that specializes in defense, law enforcement and intelligence work.

    The right-wing nuts will turn this into a ridiculous conspiracy in 3… 2…..

    Any odds on who will be first? Glenn Beck? Malkin? Hoft?

  569. gocart mozart said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:10

    Some Jewish photo shop fun.

    http://israelity.com/2012/09/28/bibi-and-the-bomb/

  570. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:11

    Oh jeebus’ butt bong, I hadn’t gotten to this part:

    Explaining his increasingly erratic behavior, she said: ‘He said he wanted to expose something at work. He also got the impression at work, that if they didn’t vote for Obama and get him elected, they would lose their jobs,’

    ‘When Al was here last time, he was pretty worked up,’ Maggie said. ‘They were very well off people and they saved a lot of money. He couldn’t understand how the government could be so irresponsible and he thought it would be on the backs of his boys.’

    So yeah, that little “expose something at work” thing will definitely make it to Beck’s chalkboard.

    But what really gets me is that the guy was a fucking defense contractor and he was complaining about government irresponsibility?

    Irony’s rotting corpse is really starting to stink up the place.

  571. gocart mozart said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:15

    Get the dang gubmit outa ma defense contracting bidness!

  572. John Revolta said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:23

    “Government irresponsibility” in this instance means not starting enough goddam wars.

    “How’m I supposed to move these goddam flamethrowers with this goddam Kenyan peace freak in there for another four goddam years? AARRGGHHHH…….”

  573. bughunter said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:56

    very conservative moderation may be the key

    What do you think this drug is going to turn you into? An American Thinker columnist?

  574. bughunter said,

    September 29, 2012 at 0:59

    You all are aware that this guy murdered his poor wife and kids before “self-correcting” nearly three years ago, right?

    If the wingnutosphere was going to make a trope out of it, you’d have heard of it before now.

  575. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:11

    You all are aware that this guy murdered his poor wife and kids before “self-correcting” nearly three years ago, right?

    Huh?

    PUBLISHED: 20:51 EST, 27 September 2012 | UPDATED: 09:49 EST, 28 September 2012

    Albert Peterson shot dead his wife and two sons hours after going to church because he dreaded the thought of Obama winning the election, a family friend has revealed.

    Albert, 57, Kathleen, 52, Matthew, 16, and Christopher, 13, were found Tuesday just after noon inside their home in Herndon, Virgina. Co-workers reported to police that they were concerned that Mr and Mrs Peterson had not reported to work for the past two days.

    Where do you get it happened 3 years ago? One of the photos is indicated as being from January 2010…

  576. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:11

    Pere Ubu –

    That sucks. Any prospects?

  577. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:12

    Holy shit! Schumacher is out at Mercedes and will be replaced by Hamilton.

    They (McLaren) already announced a deal with Segio Perez (which surprised me – I figured Paul DiResta for the seat) earlier or maybe even yesterday.

    At one point (Monza?) there was speculation that he’d be fired outright

    Yeah, but McLaren reportedly matched the $100M deal from Mercedes to keep him. :-/

    I do feel kind of bad for Massa. He’s just never been the same since he got clonked by that spring a couple years ago and he’s going to be out of F1 without ever winning a championship.

    And he was SO CLOSE!

  578. LittlePig said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:13

    Albert, 57, Kathleen, 52, Matthew, 16, and Christopher, 13, were found Tuesday just after noon inside their home in Herndon, Virgina.

    4 down, 27,999, 996 to go!

  579. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:21

    Yeah, the wingnut murder/suicide thing just happened. Here’s another article about it in the WaPoop.

  580. LittlePig said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:22

    I see news of the hijinx at the UT PKA house has reached here. To be honest, I was relieved when I learned the details – from the headline I was afraid that the boys had started drinking Blackwater-style.

    “ATM is no way to go through life, son”

  581. Golem Heart said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:24

    “He said he wanted to expose something at work. He also got the impression at work, that if they didn’t vote for Obama and get him elected, they would lose their jobs”

    I bet that this impression will be taken very seriously by the Right. There will be “research” into whether defense contractors are being pressured by the administration to influence their workers’ votes. These lemons (textbook paranoia inflamed by the Right) can be made into lemonade (a new anti-Obama conspiracy theory with a lurid hook). This gambit will require studiously ignoring whether Albert Peterson was merely imagining the “vote (d) or you’re fired” element …

    But how easy will it be to depict this element as a credible thread in an otherwise delusional tapestry? Ah, but the tapestry is woven of views and fears that wingnuts commonly hold, and state freely. From a wingnut perspective, then, Peterson’s error was to kill himself and his family, nothing more. To make a case that his political fears were delusional is to indict movement conservatism as paranoid, divorced from reality, etc.

  582. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:24

    Nobody could’ve predicted airing car chases live on the “news” could possibly end badly in any way.

  583. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:29

    Yeah, but McLaren reportedly matched the $100M deal from Mercedes to keep him. :-/

    Jeez, I’ll drive for them for free!

    Oh, wait, they want somebody good

  584. Whale Chowder said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:44

    Jeez, I’ll drive for them for free!

    I won’t do it for free but I’d certainly do it for a million dollars a race.

  585. Pryme said,

    September 29, 2012 at 1:52

    Shorter Ann Romney: There’s a good chance that being president may cause my husband to have a mental breakdown.

  586. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 2:16

    N_B – no worries, the bastards who fired me undoubtedly will earn proper karma and I have a new job as we speak, so it’s not as bad as it might be.

    Though I am shopping now at Wal-Mart instead of my former employers, and if you knew how I feel about Wal-Mart you’d know exactly how much contempt that expresses for a certain swinish Southern grocery store chain.

  587. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 2:28

    I suspect I know how you feel about Walmart. As far as the bastards go, have you considered aerial spraying of Agent Orange?

  588. bughunter said,

    September 29, 2012 at 2:48

    Where do you get it happened 3 years ago? One of the photos is indicated as being from January 2010…

    Yep. That’s where I got it.

    Gone: Albert Peterson, left, shot dead his wife Kathleen, right, and two sons hours after going to church. The couple is pictured on January 4, 2010.

    On first scan, I parsed the caption as indicating the picture being taken hours before their deaths.

    I really feel for those kids… they look so happy in those photos.

  589. bughunter said,

    September 29, 2012 at 2:53

    Nobody could’ve predicted airing car chases live on the “news” could possibly end badly in any way.

    Geez, didn’t they learn from the 1998 LA Freeway suicide?

  590. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:23

    I’d prefer a Predator drone strike on the Home Office, but the Pentagon keeps refusing my debit card as payment.

  591. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:36

    I finally broke down and went to the doctor and got treatment for my worsening depression/anxiety.

    Good luck, kiddo. I’m one of those freaks who is preternaturally even-keeled (I chalk a lot of it up to liking my job, and being able to blow off steam periodically through fighting) and I have a lot of empathy for people who suffer from depression.

    N_B – no worries, the bastards who fired me undoubtedly will earn proper karma and I have a new job as we speak, so it’s not as bad as it might be.

    Good to hear this. I sometimes worry about people.

  592. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:39

    the Pentagon keeps refusing my debit card as payment.

    A few more years and they’ll be advertising with late-noght informercials. “Call 900-Rent-Drone” NOW!”

  593. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:39

    I’m one of those freaks who is preternaturally even-keeled

    Even-keeled, suspiciously happy…it’a a fine line.

  594. another kiwi said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:44

    4B probably has a drone strike gift card. I’d be happier with that

  595. Golem Heart said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:45

    Good to hear this. I sometimes worry about people.

    What do we have here. Some kinda empath.

  596. tigris said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:47

    4B probably has a drone strike gift card. I’d be happier with that

    Riddled Christmas gift swap just got real.

  597. Major Kong said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:52

    Drone strike? Meh. Call me when you want it done right.

  598. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 3:55

    Drone strike? Meh. Call me when you want it done right.

    Queen strike?

  599. Major Kong said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:00

    Queen strike?

    We’d take a 3-ship of bombers, two of them carrying 51 750-pound bombs each and the third carrying 51 1000-pound cluster bombs. All that would go into a roughly one square mile “box” – basically turning a square mile of the planet into a waffle.

    Sure, drones are “surgically” precise, but sometimes a scalpel isn’t the best tool for the job. Sometimes you need a big freakin’ sledgehammer.

  600. Smut Clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:15

    Drone strike?
    Like the beehive would notice the difference.

  601. Major Kong said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:19

    My sleep-deprived, head-cold addled brain just figured out the “drone = male bee” reference…..

  602. LittlePig said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:19

    Shorter Major Kong: Arclight, bitchez!

    Sure, I’m a sick bastard, but God that’s a beautiful thing to see.

  603. Major Kong said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:23

    Can’t say I enjoyed it – but Saddam’s Republican Guards were very nasty people. I’ve never shed too many tears over them.

  604. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:24

    See if this works…

    My recentish Russian lessons have got me to the sound bees make in Russia:

    ? – ? -? – ?

    pronounced “zh zh zh zh”

  605. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:25

    Fuck. How do I get unicode to show up?

  606. Major Kong said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:27

    I’m scared of bees.

  607. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:28

    4B probably has a drone strike gift card. I’d be happier with that

    Riddled Christmas gift swap just got real.

    I’m hoping for a trebuchet.

  608. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:28

    Russian bees:

    &#x0416 – &#x0416 – &#x0416 – &#x0416

  609. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:28

    fuck fuck fuck

  610. smut clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:29

    The unicode that shows up is not the true unicode.

  611. LittlePig said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:29

    How do I get unicode to show up?

    On WordPress? Hahahahahahahaha.

    No wait, you’re serious. Let me laugh louder. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    (It probably can, but it requires a Tuesday during a full moon in an El Nino cycle)

  612. smut clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:30

    This is probably not the right thread to mention ‘semicolons’, but you need one after the unicode number.

  613. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:31

    What I really, really would like is a couple of those DU kinetic rod things that they drop from orbit. That’d wipe the smile off their faces.

  614. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:32

    Semicolons are what you use to buttchug near-beer.

  615. smut clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:32

    Also you have to say “pozhal’sta” nicely.

  616. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:34

    Russian bees, per Smut:

    Ж – Ж – Ж – Ж

  617. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:34

    HA!

  618. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:35

    ???????

  619. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:36

    I give up.

  620. smut clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:37

    Tigris, N__B is running naked through the thread again. Make him stop.

  621. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:37

    I’ll sic my russian bees on you.

  622. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:51

    Unicode niftiness:

    http://mikezilla.com/exp0012.html

  623. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:53

    750 of hendricks

    I’m listening…

  624. tigris said,

    September 29, 2012 at 4:59

    Drone strike? Meh. Call me when you want it done right.

    Are your services available via a handy, giftable card?

    N__B is running naked through the thread again

    Alas, forgetting the semicolon so nobody can see anything.

  625. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:23

    I’ll sic my russian bees on you.

    Silly boy, you’ve been sold a bill of goods- those bees aren’t Russian, just red.

  626. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:27

    RIP Herbert Karel Angelo Kuchacevi?ze Schluderpacheru, one of the funniest individuals to grace the planet.

  627. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:30

    This is the Red Bee.

  628. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:35

    Pink puffy sleeves, eh?

  629. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:52

    Also, Subby, спасибо.

  630. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:52

    They were usually portrayed as translucent.

    It’s hard to capture the crappiness of the Red Bee in just one picture. The dude’s “superpower” was having trained bees.

  631. Whale Chowder said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:54

    The dude’s “superpower” was having trained bees.

    Clearly you’ve never played Bioshock.

  632. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:55

    The second Red Bee looked like this. I forget what her deal was. I think she was genetically messed-with by alien bees or something.

    They’re both out of continuity now.

  633. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:57

    I think she was genetically messed-with by alien bees

    I hate when that happens.

  634. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:58

    I know, right?!

  635. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 29, 2012 at 5:58

    They’re both out of continuity now.

    That’s not uncommon in this recession.

  636. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 6:04

    That’s not uncommon in this recession.

    You’re not too far off. The reboot was because of poor sales. DC was hemorrhaging readers long before the Recession, but it certainly couldn’t have helped matters.

  637. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    September 29, 2012 at 6:17

    TEST(icle)

  638. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 6:17

    This one is getting long in de toof.
    .

  639. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 6:45

    This one is getting long in de toof.
    .

    Bookmark it, lib–

    Oh, I thought you said “de Troof”.

  640. another kiwi said,

    September 29, 2012 at 6:54

    Where is ol Truthie now, he seems so quaint by modern Republican standards

  641. Snorghagen said,

    September 29, 2012 at 7:27

    Where is ol Truthie now, he seems so quaint by modern Republican standards

    He’s gone to troll heaven, where he spends all day playing with Shoelimpy and Saul and eating copy pasta.

  642. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 29, 2012 at 7:32

    Но проблем.

  643. Snorghagen said,

    September 29, 2012 at 7:46

    ????????? ???????

  644. Snorghagen said,

    September 29, 2012 at 7:47

    How come your Russian works but my Russian doesn’t work? Is the Comintern fucking with me again?

  645. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 29, 2012 at 7:56

    ¡ʞuıl ɐllızǝʞıɯ pǝuɯɐp ǝɥʇ ǝsn

  646. El Manquecito said,

    September 29, 2012 at 8:32

    Can’t believe y’all haven’t gotten to the bottom of this thread. Is there no end to it?

  647. Smut Clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 8:47

    Buttcheese seems overall much less dangerous than buttwine.

    It’s one or the other, not both.
    Baggers can’t be cheesers.

  648. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 9:11

    Is there no end to it?

    Of course there is. Where else would the wine go?

  649. vacuumslayer said,

    September 29, 2012 at 14:50

    OK, speaking of buttchugging, I was just looking at my search stats…and I got a spectacularly awesome one: “tasteful ass fuck.” Have I found my soul mate at long last? Yes, ass fucks! Just keep them tasteful.

  650. vacuumslayer said,

    September 29, 2012 at 14:51

    N__B is running naked through the thread again

    Duh, he’s a polar bear. He’s kind of always naked.

  651. vacuumslayer said,

    September 29, 2012 at 14:53

    Since I’m talking to myself, I also like “diagram of gay sex.” Are diagrams necessary? I thought it was fairly straightforward. Or gayforward. Whatever.

  652. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:12

    You’re sure it wasn’t “tasty ass fuck”? It seems more likely..

  653. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:17

    Lets keep buttchugging out of this.

  654. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:18

    Too late.

  655. Exford legs said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:23

    To butt-chug is to reboot

  656. Yoop said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:37

    PENIS! plus bonus slut

  657. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:38

    We need to put this all behind us.

  658. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:45

    It’s hard to capture the crappiness of the Red Bee in just one picture. The dude’s “superpower” was having trained bees.

    Oh, no no no no, it was WAYYYY more lame than that.

    He had one trained bee. He kept it in his belt buckle.

    Yup.

  659. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 15:48

    butt-a-chug, butt-a-chug
    makes you holla “OH MAH HOLE!”
    burns your sphincter, don’t you know
    butt-a-chug, butt-a-chug

  660. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 17:02

    Seems I’ve found a bit of a lull…
    .

  661. Snorghagen said,

    September 29, 2012 at 17:13

    Seems I’ve found a bit of a lull…

    No doubt caused by fear of the approaching 666 POST OF SATAN.

  662. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 17:38

    Seems I’ve found a bit of a lull…

    I lost a lull the other day. It might be mine. Is there a name on it?

  663. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 17:44

    I lost a lull the other day. It might be mine. Is there a name on it?

    It has an orange tassel on top. Is that it?
    .

  664. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 17:47

    Oh, btw… done did the 4G thang. Stupid USB stick that barely fits in my netbook.
    .

  665. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 17:53

    This is in no way a recipe for disaster: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/29/business/tsa-is-finding-more-guns-at-airport-security-checkpoints.html?hp

  666. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:00

    It has an orange tassel on top. Is that it?

    Might be.

    I use a lot of them on my blog, as one might figure.

  667. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:01

    I however use no Llulls that I know of.

  668. Golem Heart said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:02

    Invariably, according to the T.S.A., travelers at airports with guns in their carry-on bags say they simply forgot they had them.

    If you forget you have a gun, what good is it doing you? It’s deeply irresponsible … I absent-mindedly took a little pocketknife to the airport recently. That, I can understand.

  669. Major Kong said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:02

    This is in no way a recipe for disaster

    I mean really, what could possibly go wrong?

  670. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:08

    “Is that a forgotten gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to shoot me?”

  671. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:32

    I often get hammered and leave my gun sitting on the table at the bar. I try to remember to take the bullets out of it when I’m really starting to lose my faculties.

  672. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:41

    I often get hammered and leave my gun sitting on the table at the bar.

    Being muzzled triggers my desire to get hammered. I gotta get a grip.
    .

  673. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:42

    Stupid USB stick that barely fits in my netbook.

    RUN CRISCO.EXE

  674. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:43

    Maybe write a magazine article about that, even.

  675. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:48

    RUN CRISCO.EXE

    With the mouse receiver and the Bluetooth receiver already in place, it’s like three fat Turks trying to triple-penetrate a llama.
    .

  676. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:58

    The future’s Mac, man. Crisco.app!

  677. Snorghagen said,

    September 29, 2012 at 18:59

    I recently completely forgot that I had a RPG strapped to my back. Nobody said a thing all day. I didn’t notice until it snagged the strap of my AK-47.

  678. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 19:28

    Being muzzled triggers my desire to get hammered. I gotta get a grip.

    That happens when you do too many shots.

  679. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 19:29

    I recently completely forgot that I had a RPG strapped to my back. Nobody said a thing all day. I didn’t notice until it snagged the strap of my AK-47.

    So you’re actually an FPS character?

  680. Yoop said,

    September 29, 2012 at 19:29

    Beer bottles under seat in the Abrhams.
    Man, if I had nickel for everytime that happened…

  681. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:07

    Stoopid sexy Flanders.
    .

  682. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:14

    Stoopid sexy Flanders.
    .

    Speaking of which, my current blog post features the confluence of Leopold Bloom and strippers. Enjoy.

  683. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:15

    For Jeffraham

    Mmmmmm….Llama….

  684. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:17

    For Jeffraham

    That thing in no way resembles Manhattan. I intend to sue for breach of promise.

  685. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:19

    TSAM LIKE STRIPPERZ!

  686. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:21

    That thing in no way resembles Manhattan. I intend to sue for breach of promise.

    Missed Five Points reference? Manhattan Project? You don’t have a monopoly on the name, ya know.

  687. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:21

    If tsam wants to picture Leopold Bloom on a pole, tsam can be my guest.

  688. N__B said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:22

    You don’t have a monopoly on the name, ya know.

    Or do I… [maniacal laughter]

  689. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:24

    If tsam wants to picture Leopold Bloom on a pole

    Tempting, but I’ll pass. This time.

  690. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 20:24

    Orlando Bloom, however…..

  691. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 29, 2012 at 21:41

    Orlando Bloom, however…..

    Depends on just whose pole he’s on, for me.

  692. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 21:58

    What about Orlando, the gender-bending hero/heroine from Virginia Woolf’s novel of the same name?

  693. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 29, 2012 at 21:59

    I haven’t read the book, but I have read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier, in which she and/or he plays a prominent role. That counts, right?

  694. smut clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 22:44

    I also like “diagram of gay sex.” Are diagrams necessary?
    It’s counter-intuitive.

    IN ANY WAR BETWEEN THE CIVILIZED MAN AND THE SAVAGE, SUPPORT THE CIVILIZED MAN

    Am I a bad person for imagining that message in 1930s Fraktur typeface?
    It would also look good against a background of Terran Expeditionary Forces vs. Na’vi.

  695. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 29, 2012 at 22:49

    Tsam likes strippers and I like Leopold Bloom. N_B truly does cater to all tastes.

  696. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:05

    But how does buttchugging work?

  697. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:16

    If I had a liter bottle of pre-poop material, I’d have the makings of jenkem.

  698. kg said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:23

    well, thats not the whole job of the colon but I’ll cut some slack cause the graphic is so full of win.

    those hands kind of remind me of this incident where a family member went in for what they thought was appendicitis and the doc ended up taking out most of her small intestine for a bit of a massage before putting it back in. seemed a bit dodgy at the time (kind of like “lets go in there dr stein style!”)

  699. kg said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:25

    so jenkem is really a thing?

    http://www.anus.com/etc/jenkem/

  700. smut clyde said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:33

    To a sufficiently determined omnivore, *anything* is “pre-poop material”.
    More colon facts here.

  701. tsam said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:47

    Am I a bad person for imagining that message in 1930s Fraktur typeface?

    No. That shit could have come straight out of a treatise on Manifest Destiny as well.

  702. Pere Ubu said,

    September 29, 2012 at 23:53

    There is a web site devoted to jenkem.

    I’m not sure whether to be impressed or frightened.

    Of course, that quandary describes 90% of the Intertubes.

  703. smut clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 0:16

    <i.No. That shit could have come straight out of a treatise on Manifest Destiny as well.

    The source was Ayn Rand’s apologia for genocide, was it not?

  704. smut clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 0:24

    Checked. OK. Pam Gellar says it’s a quote from Ayn Rand, FWIW. Of course these sociopathic genocide apologists all run together in my mind. Anyway, she is literally citing a rationale for extermination as a reason for backing Israel’s government’s policies.

  705. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 0:59

    I don’t understand how these Ayn Rand enthusiasts can also be nationalists of any kind. Oh, I’m sure there’s some Objectivist rationale that I don’t care to hear. Probably makes as much sense as Paul Ryan being Catholic, too.

  706. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 1:59

    I think Objectivism is more about nativism than nationalism, but I’m sure there’s something about how non-Slavic Europeans have all the culture and wisdom and all the altruist collectivist parasite races stole everything the know from the white Europeans and blah blah argle bargle. Probably makes more sense in the original Austrian.

  707. Pere Ubu said,

    September 30, 2012 at 2:02

    “everything THEY know”, dammit.

    Cheap goddamn Mittens outsourced laptop keyboard.

  708. vs does not buttchug said,

    September 30, 2012 at 2:42

    I found a jenkem group on Facebook, which made me think two things:

    1.) I don’t want to live anymore*

    2.) Now we know where all Young Republicans hang out

    *kidding

  709. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 2:50

    Ayn Rand’s life coincided with the Cold War, and because she was anti-communist, I’d say her radicalism was treated as harmless, as little more than a spirited defense of capitalism. But this is the sort of anti-nationalist thinking I associate with Objectivism. It can’t be squared with our conservatives’ jingoism or their stance on Israel. It can be read as offering a fig leaf of support for the U.S. insomuch as that nation embodies freedom as they see it. Needless to say, in a leftist, anti-nationalist views this strong would be considered threatening.

  710. smut clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 3:29

    Has Pam Gellar always been a Randian or is this a recent acquisition to her portfolio of crazy?
    The convergence between Objectivism and “religious state with a strong collectivist tradition” is not an obvious one but whatev.

  711. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 3:31

    Was that quote from Rand’s infamous West Point “fuck the indigenes” speech?

  712. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 3:38

    Apparently not. I have somehow been misinformed, or something.

  713. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 30, 2012 at 3:40

    well, thats not the whole job of the colon but I’ll cut some slack cause the graphic is so full of win.

    Funny that they should choose a fist to symbolize the diameter of the colon.

  714. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 3:41

    Has Pam Gellar always been a Randian or is this a recent acquisition to her portfolio of crazy?
    The convergence between Objectivism and “religious state with a strong collectivist tradition” is not an obvious one but whatev.

    Well, I dunno much about Gellar, but naming your blog “Atlas Shrugs” is a pretty Randian thing to do.

    “In 2010, there were 270 kibbutzim in Israel. Their factories and farms account for 9% of Israel’s industrial output, worth US $8 billion, and 40% of its agricultural output, worth over $1.7 billion.[2]“–Wikipedia, which goes on to describe quite a bit of privatization and change in what “began as utopian communities, a combination of socialism and Zionism.” But yeah, seems like Israel was and is strongly collectivist.

  715. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 3:51

    Ah, it was in the post-rant Q&A, per this poker site(?) but the chance of my (or anyone) listening to 26:59 of that witch talking to cadets is zero. Maybe Geller is paraphrasing.

  716. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 4:04

    But yeah, seems like Israel was and is strongly collectivist.
    Maybe, maybe not.

  717. Major Kong said,

    September 30, 2012 at 4:19

    My one funny story from Tel Aviv -

    The hotel we lay over at had a young female security guard posted in front of the hotel. She didn’t speak much English, but I gathered she had been in the IDF at one point.

    Later that evening, I’m in the lobby listening to a very loud, rude American (sounded like he was from New York) who’s yelling at the desk clerk “Hey! I need to get a cab out here so we can go to dinner! I asked the girl out front and she looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.”

    As I’m cringing and trying to figure out how to pass myself off as Canadian, the desk clerk admonished him – “Sir, it IS a foreign language”.

  718. Smut Clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 4:27

    Imagine how the reviewers would have criticised Gellar if she had been a fictional character. A Randian neo-Nazi Likudnik? Yeah right.

  719. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 4:42

    That was an interesting and pithy article, M. Bouffant. I know very little about Israel. I do know that here in the U.S., Israeli-style socialized medicine and something like what’s left of their communes would be demonized as collectivist– bad enough for a civil war, if the current mood and rhetoric means anything. Not to mention the idea of a Jewish state, which I’d say is collectivist at its core, in the first place because of the nature of Judaism (no objections here), secondly because of how Israel is defined. I don’t object to its degree of collectivism, but to the whole idea of any nation-state with a firm religious or ethnic basis.

  720. N__B said,

    September 30, 2012 at 4:51

    Imagine how the reviewers would have criticised Gellar if she had been a fictional character.

    “If”?

  721. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:36

    Has Pam Gellar always been a Randian or is this a recent acquisition to her portfolio of crazy?
    The convergence between Objectivism and “religious state with a strong collectivist tradition” is not an obvious one but whatev.

    There doesn’t have a be a convergence. It’s the same sort of situational ethics that leads a pro-life Xtian to also beat the war drums and support the death penalty. That’s the whole rub with the right wing worldview–when critical thought interferes with their primalistic reaction to anything they don’t understand, they fall back on mysticism and have no problem sleeping at night.

    Shorter: Pammy doesn’t have the brainpower to build any sort of logical creed. Occupational hazard for stupid assholes.

  722. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:37

    Present for nerdlicious Jack Vance fans- I’m looking at you, Smut Clyde and Pere Ubu.

  723. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:40

    but to the whole idea of any nation-state with a firm religious or ethnic basis.

    What could possibly go wrong with this?

  724. N__B said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:43

    Are religions categorized in the same manner as stool? “Firm, well-formed, compact…”

  725. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:43

    BBBB–hereby add me to your list of Vance fans. Thanks.

  726. tsam said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:43

    Also, I sort of view Ayn Rand as the poster child for Mary Shelley’s thesis in Frankenstien.

  727. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 30, 2012 at 5:55

    BBBB–hereby add me to your list of Vance fans. Thanks.

    I never knew… obviously you’re a Sea-Dragon Conqueror type of man.

  728. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 6:23

    Vance fans may already have read all these, but I’ll share anyway.

  729. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 6:25

    Also, Mrs. David Frum on butt-tamponing.

  730. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 6:43

    I had a long-dormant interest in Jack Vance, then recently bought and greatly enjoyed a Dying Earth compilation. Looking forward to more.

  731. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 6:52

    Also, Mrs. David Frum on butt-tamponing.

    I’m not keen on duplicating her findings, but they seem to quash the business nicely … butt-chugging, on the other hand, is all too real, as far as I’m concerned.

  732. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 7:00

    Earlier today I made a fake FaceBook account in order to comment on Charles Pierce’s blog. It worked, for a hot minute– Esquire quickly deleted to post. Strange (I thought), it was unobjectionable, but I admit that my FaceBook name and profile was nonsense, and fresh.

    Seeing the deletion made me mad, so I perma-deleted that account, and dug up my old long-inactive one and perma-deleted it too. I really detest Zuckerberg. His public comments have shown me that we don’t see eye-to-eye. I love anonymity on the ‘net, and would at least try to thwart data-gathering. He wants unitary identities, and more billions. The vision is the billions. Unitary web identities has no other real selling point except easy correlation of personal info. Fuck the civility angle.

  733. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 8:14

    Are religions categorized in the same manner as stool? “Firm, well-formed, compact…”

    Everything which has FORM — literally or metaphorically — is like a turd.

  734. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 8:33

    Everything’s made of shit, & we’re all dying.

  735. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 30, 2012 at 9:10

    I had a long-dormant interest in Jack Vance, then recently bought and greatly enjoyed a Dying Earth compilation. Looking forward to more.

    I’ve long loved Vance. His use of language is so gorgeous… even when he loads up his prose with tons of adjectives, it never bogs down. For sheer reading enjoyment, he’s hard to beat.

  736. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 9:59

    New post up, except not.

  737. M. Bouffant said,

    September 30, 2012 at 10:00

    Put me down as “First!” anyway.

  738. another kiwi said,

    September 30, 2012 at 10:25

    I didn’t see it before you MB!

  739. Cerberus said,

    September 30, 2012 at 10:41

    New post up now.

  740. Smut Clyde said,

    September 30, 2012 at 13:45

    I think Objectivism is more about nativism than nationalism, but I’m sure there’s something about how non-Slavic Europeans have all the culture and wisdom

    Turns out that Pam Gellar likes Serbs, at least, on account of them never mass-murdering anyone… And if they did, the victims deserved it by breathing their oxygen and such as.
    Genocide apologists and denialists are not my favourite people.

  741. Golem Heart said,

    September 30, 2012 at 15:29

    Everything’s made of shit, & we’re all dying.

    Yes. Only formlessness is unturdlike. That is the origin of the expression “I don’t give a shit,” which is to say, “I cannot find meaning in that which is inchoate.” Things are shitty, or they are unreal to us; meanwhile, our deaths are taking on shapes.

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