Sep
21

The World’s Greatest Shorter and I Didn’t Even Write It




Posted at 8:50 by Cerberus

It’s just too wonderful.

Kathy Shaidle, PJ Lifestyle*:
The Poor Get Poorer: 3 Character Traits That Undermine Prosperity

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fluberts of all ages, you are about to bear witness to possibly the greatest shorter in the history of shorters.

Ready?

Go.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Gluttonous, slothful, irresponsible and entitled: Today’s “poor” are the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

Know what the best part of this is? I didn’t write it. Not one solitary word. Nor did I just grab a damning verbatim from the middle of the post because it really synthesizes the stupid.

Nope, this really was, quite literally**, the post’s actual shorter. As in below the fold, before the hundred thousand YouTube videos and unnecessary BOLDING OF RANDOM SENTENCES. Innumeracy and bizarre biblical reference included.

I-

I can’t top that.

I just can’t. Oh sure, I could give the post a full treatment. There’s a lot to work with. I think my “favorite” is at the end where she directly blames the citizens of New Orleans for Katrina because having the motto “Let the Good Times Roll” somehow caused Bush to ignore the Army Corps of Engineers’ strongly-worded recommendation to reinforce the levees.

But everything I could possibly add would be a faint echo compared to the sheer… majesty of Kathy Shaidle’s unintentional self-satire.

Well, played, ma’am. Well played.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Topping the bar is invented by Kathy Shaidle or Random Unpaid Intern. Well done ma’am or other. Well done. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Why, Bob, why does this exist?

**To use some parlance du Friedman

564 Comments »

  1. another kiwi said,

    September 21, 2012 at 9:20

    Well, ah, she’s shot herself in the derrière rather comprehensively there.
    but that’s only because they’ve already spent all their (I mean, taxpayers’) money on booze, drugs, cigarettes, lottery tickets, manicures, hair weaves, bingo cards and tacky club clothes.
    There’s some good old fashioned middle-class bitterness, “tacky club clothes” indeed

  2. Sophist said,

    September 21, 2012 at 9:34

    Holy hell. This is the very apotheosis of derp. You literally could not fail harder without puncturing a hole in the fabric of reality.

    I am agape and agog.

  3. teetop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 9:37

    Fuck, Krassner’s right, satire’s dead.

  4. mr. mike said,

    September 21, 2012 at 11:34

    “You literally could not fail harder without puncturing a hole in the fabric of reality.”

    I think their reality is collapsing – they didn’t nominate America’s Crazy Grandpaw (their one small shot at victory) and the Smiler’s campaign is falling apart. So their op-ed people are doing doughnuts in the empty parking lots of their minds. Don’t expect more.

  5. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 21, 2012 at 12:38

    The fact is Kathy Shaidle has woven the fabric of truth into a gag to wrender Cerberus speechless. Reality bites libtards!

  6. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    September 21, 2012 at 12:51

    Satire died when Clinton was impeached for his dick. Reality’s been in front ever since.

  7. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:09

    Our Character Trait That Undermines Prosperity is gluttony… gluttony and sloth… Our two Character Traits That Undermine Prosperity are gluttony and sloth… and irresponsibility…
    Our three Character Traits That Undermine Prosperity are Gluttony, sloth, irresponsibility and entitlement…

    I’ll come back in.

  8. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:13

    I am agape
    Sophist is providing the Agape feast.
    I was told there would be muffins.

  9. paleotectonics said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:23

    mmmmm – muffins.

  10. paleotectonics said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:29

    They literally have think tanks paid to come up with these ITS ALWAYS PROJECTION. These lil’ memes get disseminated to the Happy Warriors at PJ (oh, did you know if you comment there, you have signed up for their daily digest – wheeee!) where, via chip technology, new Silicon Cheetos, it is embedded like Geraldo Rivera in they’s branez and believed whole-autonomic-pumping-mechanism-ly.

    GAH.

  11. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:43

    I don’t think they have tanks of think as much as they have compound buckets of think. With cigarette butts floating on top.

  12. mat said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:45

    Ah, I get it!

    So it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a Welfare Queen to enter the kingdom of god.

    Roger, wilco.

  13. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 13:53

    “a one-parent family of three making $14,500 a year (minimum wage) has more disposable income than a family making $60,000 a year.”

    Well heck! Why am I killing myself flying night freight? I could just go work at Taco Bell and have more disposable income.

    (head-desk) ow!
    (head-desk) ow!
    (head-desk) ow!
    (head-desk) ow!
    (head-desk) ow!

  14. AdolphTheOriginalMoustache said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:02

    Hmmm…and does this Kathy Shaidle have a Final Solution for all these lazy, stupid, blood-sucking, poor vermin?

    Hmmm….hmmm….

  15. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:03

    Major –

    Be an entremanure. Market a fortified wine called “Night Freight.” I tell you, there’s millions in it.

  16. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:07

    Market a fortified wine called “Night Freight.”

    I’ll have to frequently “sample” it in the interests of, ahem, “quality control”.

    hic

  17. RWW said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:08

    The chart showed economic benefit, not disposable income. All the benefits going to the poors except the EIC are not actual cash. All of it ends up transferred to someone else and not in the poor person’s pocket at the end of the day. I’m glad the poor get the benefits and subsidies because the chart shows they need it to survive.

  18. KathyShaidle said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:09

    Gluttonous, slothful, irresponsible and entitled: Today’s “poor” are the “rich” Jews Jesus Hitler warned us about.

  19. Jesus said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:10

    That’s it, I’m coming back early just to slap Ms. Shaidle with my dick.

    FYI, it’s hasn’t shrunk 400% since I was last down there.

  20. Exford Legs said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:16

    Night freight
    I once made a cider that we called ‘Reeks of death’, a phrase we found in a particularly scathing restaurant review.

  21. Jesus said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:18

    You know, Jesus, 10% penis-shrinkage per 50 years would never leave you dickless. 100-90-81 etc.

  22. Exford Legs said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:18

    Oh, hi Jesus. Keeping well?

  23. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:20

    My one question for Kathy Shaidle, well my second question for her after “Why are you such a fucking idiot?”, would be:

    If the poor have it so great, would you trade places with them?

    Just think, you wouldn’t have to work, you could kick back all day drinking 40 oz malt liquor and watching your big-screen TV that some hard-working taxpayer bought you.

  24. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:20

    Argh, nymfail. I was gonna have Jesus thank me for the tip, and pay me compliments — publicly, this time.

  25. WingNutMemeRecapThisWeek said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:25

    A quick recap of this week’s dispatches from the crazies:

    1) Obama’s–literally–brownshirts are–literally–suppressing free speech, literally (not figuratively).

    2) Obama said (in an old, obscure speech taken completely out of context) that he’s all about redistribution of wealth.

    3) The “poor” (Mitt’s 47% lazy parasites) are the “rich” Jesus said that a camel has a better chance of passing through the eye of the needle than they do entering the kingdom of god.

    A good week, indeed.

  26. Peter said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:39

    That’s not really Jesus.

  27. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:40

    Today’s “poor” are the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

    When Jesus said “rich”, he did not make scare quotes with his hands.

    And I’m puzzled. Don’t Christians think biblical messages are timeless, not dated? Things never change enough to turn Jesus on his head — that’s the fucking point. I won’t pretend Shaidle is being thoughtful with her scare quotes. There are two interpretations: (1) she thinks the Bible has always been Randian, and everybody’s been wrong about it. (2) In order to apply scripture to modern times, you sometimes have to rewrite it however suits you.

  28. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 14:50

    When Jesus said “rich” he made scare quotes with his dorsal tentacles. Sheesh, everyone knows that.

  29. DAS said,

    September 21, 2012 at 15:04

    Major Kong may have beat me to the punchline, but this point is so important it deserves repeating:

    “If the poor have it so great, would you trade places with them?”

    Jesus said in order to follow him you should be ready to give up all you own, which would make you poor. Millions of men and women of faith have done that. As they used to ask “if the poor are so virtuous, why don’t you take Jesus up on his offer and give away all you have and become poor yourself?” Or as it applies nowadays (e.g. to Ms. Shaidle): “if the poor have it so good, then why don’t you take Jesus up on his offer, give away all that you have and become poor yourself?” I’m waiting for an answer, Ms. Shaidle … (crickets)

    Of course, I guess the follow up shorter is “how can the poor be really poor when they have the keys to the kingdom of heaven? therefore, why should we do anything for the poor here on Earth?” Alas, that is how Christendom has treated the lower orders (except for some customary redistribution and role reversals on various feast days and Christmas), and that, I guess, is to which state of affairs today’s right wants to return. I wish they’d stop calling conservatives “capitalists” or “free market boosters”; they are nothing of the sort; they are really neo-manoralists (“feudalist” would imply a system of reciprocal obligations which today’s reactionaries, in the footsteps of Revolutionary through Civil War Era Southern Conservatives who viewed any limitation of their ability to trample over the rights of others as an affront to liberty, view as being antithetical to “freedom”).

  30. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 21, 2012 at 15:25

    I distinctly said “Five Feet of FURRY” when I placed my order, damn it.
    ~

  31. El Manquécito said,

    September 21, 2012 at 15:42

    I distinctly said “Five Feet of FURRY” when I placed my order, damn it.

    Well, tigris is probably around here somewhere but watch out because: CLAWS.

  32. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 15:42

    “Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

    The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions. The criticism of religion is, therefore, in embryo, the criticism of that vale of tears of which religion is the halo.”–Karl Marx

    “I am an irreligious, inhumane, heartless, soulless harpy. I am addicted to hate and fear.”–Kathy Shaidle

  33. Exford Legs said,

    September 21, 2012 at 15:43

    Yetchghgh. Better than three feet of furry, though.

  34. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 15:45

    Well put, DAS.

  35. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:02

    I once made a cider that we called ‘Reeks of death’

    I’m totally stealing that name for a Rauchbeer.

    El M, I’m more “5’6″ of fuzzy”

  36. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:08

    I thought Bruce Lee was really good in Fists of Furry.

  37. El Manquécito said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:15

    The Sound and the Furry.

  38. tsam said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:19

    Alternate shorter shittle:

    SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  39. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:19

    When she was good she was furry furry good
    When she was bad she was shaven

  40. tsam said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:20

    The Fast and the Furrious was an awesome movie.

  41. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:32

    Before furryism came into its own, I remember thinking I might want a loose jumpsuit made out of faux fur. AF (After Furries), the idea lost all appeal. I don’t take drugs anymore, so maybe that’s a factor. I shudder to think of it (the fur suit, not drugs).

  42. Chris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:38

    Today’s “poor” are the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

    Conservatives have a thing for making “counter-intuitive” statements to illustrate their own brilliance and thought-provoking depth, but this is a record.

    Once again my thought wanders to the Antichrist character in Narnia: “you think true freedom means doing what you want? Well, you’re wrong. True freedom means doing what I tell you.”

    Up is down.

  43. workerbee said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:39

    Well, after the dickwad Republican who tweeted that the Labor Day is about celebrating all those wonderful “job creators” and not the actual workers, this just confirms my theory that there is a number of people (if we could only work out the percentage) in the US who would not mind going back to some kind of feudal system where people would have to happily serve the distinguished “1 percent masters.”
    It might seem like these wingnuts wouldn’t want the role themselves, but I’m fairly certain that a lot of them would jump at the “opportunity.” After all, the rich people built “it” themselves.

  44. Chris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 16:44

    And I’m puzzled. Don’t Christians think biblical messages are timeless, not dated? Things never change enough to turn Jesus on his head — that’s the fucking point.

    Fundamentalism is a fascinating exercise in preserving the parts of the Bible you like (“must stay true to our faith!”) while finding ways to explain how the parts you don’t like no longer apply (“it’s not the first century anymore, you know!”)

    All denominations do this. Fundamentalists aren’t unique in that respect. But they are unique in that they claim to be following the exact word of Jesus with no modifications or interpretation or anything.

  45. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:04

    this just confirms my theory that there is a number of people (if we could only work out the percentage) in the US who would not mind going back to some kind of feudal system where people would have to happily serve the distinguished “1 percent masters.”

    This is basically my objection to the SCA and Ren fair types, if they really lived in their long ago fantasy world, no one but the 1% would be running around in armor and swinging swords.

  46. Pryme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:05

    Whoa…it’s like she just discovered TPM and C&L and thought to herself, Hey, I can totally fucking do that!

    Or conversely, what a blog post from Se7en’s John Doe would have looked like today. Gluttony and Sloth, right? Expect two bodies in her hometown to be found over the weekend.

  47. Dan Someone said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:07

    Not content with the unintentionally self-parodying subhed, the piece also contains this gem:

    “(Back when “living” conditions in Victorian London were unspeakably appalling, Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…)”

    No sense of irony from the context there, either.

    Also, there’s a chart purporting to show that with all the benefits provided to low-income families, a working family making $3K per year ends up with almost as much take-home as a person making $60K. Even assuming the numbers are correct (why one has $9600 in child care and the other only $2400 is not explained, for instance), what is the problem with evening the playing field that way?

    Oh wait, I get it. The $3K earner is obviously lazy and gluttonous and the $60K earner is a paragon of industriousness. Duh.

  48. tsad said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:11

    Conservatives have a thing for making “counter-intuitive” statements to illustrate their own brilliance and thought-provoking depth, but this is a record.

    Whoa–this is the best euphemistic description of a bald-faced lie I’ve ever heard. This one’s going right here in my hip pocket, dawg.

  49. tsad said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:14

    Also, there’s a chart purporting to show that with all the benefits provided to low-income families, a working family making $3K per year ends up with almost as much take-home as a person making $60K. Even assuming the numbers are correct (why one has $9600 in child care and the other only $2400 is not explained, for instance), what is the problem with evening the playing field that way?

    That chart is LOADED with dumbassed assumptions and, as usual, the person using the chart provides no hint at the data used. Just income and what purports to be disposable income. This is why we should keep charts out of the hands of right wingers. They always end up putting an eye out with them.

  50. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:14

    Yetchghgh. Better than three feet of furry, though.

    Always hatin’ on the Ewoks.
    .

  51. D Johnston said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:16

    Geez, Kathy, cram in a few more video embeds. I can almost still see the text.

    All right, let’s do the rundown:

    Gluttonous, slothful, irresponsible and entitled: Today’s “poor” are the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

    For those of you who are wondering how a “Christian” could say something like this: It’s not that modern conservatives don’t like Jesus, it’s just that they like Ayn Rand more. See?

    As Thomas Sowell and many others like to point out, our “poor” enjoy luxuries the Sun King could only dream of: cell phones (or three), cars (or two), Playstations and big screen TVs.

    Oh, we’re still doing this, huh? I’m beginning to wonder if PJM is staffed by people who traveled forward in time from the mid-90′s. Hard to think of any other explanation for people who treat cell phones like a luxury instead of something you need to get a job, and who still use the term “big screen TV” (they’re probably color TVs, too – wanna throw that in, Shaidle?).

    At least she didn’t mention my favorite “luxury” articles from the libertarian nutters – microwave ovens and refrigerators.

    Jesus ordered us to love the poor because He understood how hard it was to do, even 2000 years ago.

    It’s always hard to do. The poor are invisible, and it’s much easier to not think about them. A very timeless message, right, Kathy?

    But in 2012, I’d take that further: our “poor” have become the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

    Okay, I see. It’s okay to hate the poor now, because they don’t really count as the poor.

    This has been another episode of Rewriting the Bible With Conservative Christians.

    Incidentally, I’m not sure where in the bible Jesus “warned” anyone about the rich. The New Testament has a lot to say about the misuse of wealth and the greed inherent in denying aid to the poor (hint, hint) but I can’t recall any warnings. What’s a matter, Shaidle? Couldn’t do a five-minute search on Bible Gateway to cover up your ignorance?

    I had a few friends who were the “product of broken homes.” From what I can make out, I’m the only one who’s amounted to anything.

    “Who’s”? Who’s what? Don’t you have editors over there? You’d think that a high-end outfit like PJM I can’t even finish typing that sentence with a straight face.

    Because New Orleans is located below sea level — and its official motto is “Let the Good Times Roll.”

    Individuals who voluntary reside in a flood zone and whose only “industry” is partying are ill prepared for disaster.

    Yes, that’s their industry. Not…shipping or anything like that. Look, it’s clear from all the whinging about New Orleans (and you’re a little late to the party, Shaidle) that most wingnuts don’t understand trade, so let’s make this simple:

    Those things you buy in the store? Most of them are brought from other places. When those goods are made in other countries, they are moved in these things called ships, which are like boats but a lot bigger. These ships move across the ocean, and they have to stop in ports. Those ports have to be built on what we call the seaboard so that the ships can reach them. We tried building ports in Kansas, but it just doesn’t work.

    They’ll tell you they “have to” give their kids powdered milk, but that’s only because they’ve already spent all their (I mean, taxpayers’) money on booze, drugs, cigarettes, lottery tickets, manicures, hair weaves, bingo cards and tacky club clothes.

    Does this still count as a dog whistle? Because I can hear it pretty clearly.

  52. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:19

    Oh wait, I get it. The $3K earner is obviously lazy and gluttonous and the $60K earner is a paragon of industriousness.

    $60K earner a/k/a “sucker.”

    Go the fuck Galt, already.
    .

  53. Ann "You People" Rmoney said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:24

    “Stop it!” she snapped. “You want to try it? Get in the ring.”

    Ann Romney added: “This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.”

  54. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:25

    All denominations do this. Fundamentalists aren’t unique in that respect. But they are unique in that they claim to be following the exact word of Jesus with no modifications or interpretation or anything.
    Yes. If I understand correctly, fundamentalists believe that God guides the right-minded reader’s interpretation. (In practice this seems to mean accepting some authority figure’s interpretation, but in theory you could do just as well by “letting Jesus in” before reading the Bible). Language being what it is, mundane texts have certain limitations. Good scholars recognize these limitations and work around them; fundamentalists hand-wave away all such problems via magic text or inspired reading. Their approach is the more profoundly anti-intellectual, and can only favor arbitrariness and authoritarianism. They’ll brook no talk of serious-minded exegesis, or philology, or much of anything that’s shown potential to moderate religion’s potential for misuse by authority (or the insane, for that matter).

  55. Chris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:26

    I had a few friends who were the “product of broken homes.” From what I can make out, I’m the only one who’s amounted to anything.

    Hmm, I wonder how much help from the government you had along the way.

  56. S. cerevisiae said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:29

    Hello, Jesus? There are some wingnuts down here who could use a good smiting. Could you get word to your dad to visit them with boils or fleas (or boiling fleas!)?

    Thnx.

    S.c.

  57. S. cerevisiae said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:31

    Ann Romney added: “This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.”

    Speaking of entitled…

  58. Pryme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:34

    “This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country INTO THE FUCKING GROUND.”

    Fixxy!

  59. Stag Party Palin said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:37

    Y’know, I’ll bet that if all of Kathy Shady’s readers were to form a human chain at low tide in the Bay of Fundy and concentrate really reeellly hard, they could keep the tide from coming in. Just saying.

  60. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:38

    I had a few friends who were the “product of broken homes.” From what I can make out, I’m the only one who’s amounted to anything.

    Hmm, I wonder how much help from the government you had along the way.

    I’m not clicking through, you can’t make me give that harpy ad revenue. But I am confused, that statement doesn’t tell if she cam from a broken home or not. Is it explained elsewhere? cause otherwise it looks like she’s celebrating her home run when she started on third base.

  61. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:38

    You might have noticed that today’s “poor” aren’t exactly the humble, wholesome, good-hearted types Charles Dickens championed, either.

    “I’ve never read any Dickens.”

    “(Back when “living” conditions in Victorian London were unspeakably appalling, Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…)”

    “Society really needs to get back to this.”

    Because New Orleans is located below sea level — and its official motto is “Let the Good Times Roll.”

    Individuals who voluntary reside in a flood zone and whose only “industry” is partying are ill prepared for disaster.

    “Tourism? You made that word up.”

  62. S. cerevisiae said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:43

    Y’know, I’ll bet that if all of Kathy Shady’s readers were to form a human chain centipede at low tide in the Bay of Fundy and concentrate really reeellly hard, they could keep the tide from coming in. Just saying.

    Fixxt.

  63. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:44

    If I understand correctly, fundamentalists believe that God guides the right-minded reader’s interpretation.

    I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. – Susan B. Anthony

  64. Chris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:45

    If I understand correctly, fundamentalists believe that God guides the right-minded reader’s interpretation.

    Sure, but if your interpretation doesn’t jive with what the group wants, you can bet you’re going to hear about it. The theory behind Protestantism is that no Pope should get to tell you what God wants, but in fundiegelical practice, the Papal decrees are simply replaced by a fuzzy groupthink consensus that you’d damn well better follow.

    (Leaders can manipulate it, but if they start drifting too far away (as mainline denominations have in the last few decades), a bunch of people are going to secede en masse and just start their own Judean People’s Front).

    I’m not clicking through, you can’t make me give that harpy ad revenue. But I am confused, that statement doesn’t tell if she cam from a broken home or not. Is it explained elsewhere? cause otherwise it looks like she’s celebrating her home run when she started on third base.

    Oh, I just assumed she meant that she too had come from a broken home. You’re right, that might also not be the case.

  65. Thread Bear said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:05

    What I can’t figure out is, if God hates New Orleans so much because of all the partying and debauchery and stuff, why is Las Vegas still standing? I know it’s way out in the middle of the desert and all, but He once flooded the entire planet so surely He could get to Las Vegas.

  66. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:08

    ” I grew up below the so-called “poverty line,” a fact which always amused my (single) mother…”

  67. Thread Bear said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:10

    Shorter entire GOP;

    We must get rid of entitlements or we’ll never get people to mine our coal for 50 cents a day!

  68. D Johnston said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:19

    Oh, and I think I found out where Shaidle got the idea for this post: Megan McArdle wrote a column on basically the same topic four days ago.

  69. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:23

    if God hates New Orleans so much because of all the partying and debauchery and stuff, why is Las Vegas still standing?

    God likes to kick lose and play the slots every once in a while, maybe check out a show.
    ~

  70. gocart mozart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:25

    New Obama Anger Translation is out.
    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/09/21/obamas-anger-translator-the-47percent/

  71. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:31

    I’m having another one of those spells when it seems like the world is just piling up tinder for the next world war. We’ve got crypto fascist demagogues claiming half of the US is dead weight, moochers and parasites. There are people in Europe perfectly willing to drive other countries into grinding poverty that they call austerity to pay back loans they never should have gotten in the first place. There are trillion dollar weapon projects in the US, while other countries have food riots cause they can’t afford to eat. The world population is ballooning. More and more shady countries aren’t finding it too hard to figure out the 1940s physics of the atomic bomb. Fresh water is getting scarcer, the easy oil and coal have been exploited, and now extraction industries get to do things like deep water drilling, mountain top removal and tar sands mining to provide our fossil fuel fix at a higher and higher price. And worst of all everyone wants to make their bucks off of making the problems worse.

    Oh, and global warming is about to upset the climate apple cart and hundreds of millions of us are going to have to play musical chairs with our crops, our jobs and our homes in order not be underwater when the music stops.

    But on the up side, the Killers just released their first new album in years.

  72. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:38

    I was having trouble remembering the psychological syndrome (well, one of them) that Limbaugh has, but Crooks and Liars helped:

    doctors have been recently struggling with how to treat Koro Syndrome, which is the irrational “fear that the genitals are shrinking, or retracting into the body, and that when they finally do disappear, you will die.”

  73. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:40

    Koro syndrome not to be confused with Kuru.

  74. tsad said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:41

    Does this still count as a dog whistle? Because I can hear it pretty clearly.

    W. Kamau Bell: “Your whistle is broken! We can all hear you!”

  75. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 18:50

    We’ve got crypto fascist demagogues whose parents received government assistance claiming half of the US is dead weight, moochers and parasites

  76. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 19:04

    if God hates New Orleans so much because of all the partying and debauchery and stuff, why is Las Vegas still standing?

    Because New Orleans is full of “those” people.

  77. jim, just chillaxin' & navigating the Zeitgeist's heterometatronic transfundibular crux LIKE A BOSS said,

    September 21, 2012 at 19:16

    Shaidle is cordially invited to spend a few days of luxury & ease in which to partake of the manifold delights & excitements of a Thin Air Diet, & indulge her inner Bohemian with a week or two luxuriating at the Alfresco Motor Inn, just like all the REAL hardcore lumpenproles do. Twenty-four years since I had the pleasure & it’s still as clear as yesterday – I can guarantee that by Day Five, our sheltered little Shaidle will cross over an event horizon of clarity that will knock her socks off (if she still has any by then).

    Also, Christians are the new Satanists.

  78. tsad said,

    September 21, 2012 at 20:01

    Because New Orleans is full of “those” people.

    With their hair weaves and tacky club clothes…

    Remember that she is NOT a racist.

  79. Nym said,

    September 21, 2012 at 20:08

    “Who’s”? Who’s what? Don’t you have editors over there?

    Actually, that’s the one thing in her godforsaken column she got right– she’s using “who’s” as a contraction of “who has”. Whose is the possessive form.

  80. Pryme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 20:10

    I’m sure this explains something, just can’t put my fingers on it.

  81. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 20:40

    I was listening to Van Halen the other day, and now I have “Top Jimmy” stuck in my head — not the fine guitar playing, but the inane tune and lyrics by David Lee Roth. Kinda annoying. Maybe another session of Van Halen would help.

  82. Pryme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 20:49

    Ryhmes with “genius”.

  83. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:03

    Limbaugh = Fatticus Inch

    (Too bad he’s not a lawyer)

  84. Ann "You People" Rmoney said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:03

    Stop hitting yourself GH

  85. Pryme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:05

    I want a this as a poster.

  86. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:11

    Start of the piece:

    “Times have changed and now the poor get fat”
    – Elton John, “The Bitch Is Back”

    PJMedia’s John Hawkins recently posted a thoughtful piece called “Golden Chains: 5 Ways America’s Wealth Undermines Our Character.”

    Since I am not rich I therefore lack the impulse-control to keep from noticing that both Shaidle and Hawkins are doing their best to approach sphericality.

  87. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:15

    So my boss brings to light this old 33-1/3 LP that supposedly contains an important (relatively speaking) interview. Only two were made in 1963. He wants me to digitize the thing. Everything’s ready, and then I find out the damn disc’s got no grooves to speak of. Looks superficially like a proper LP, but all you can do is skate a needle across it. Whoever paid to make this disk got ripped off.

  88. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:15

    OK, sumbuddy gots ta ‘splain the rules on ahemming, and point me toward where to learn all the blockquotey embedded linky kinda stuff.
    …cuz, um, uh, …

  89. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:20

    <blockquote>Anything between these tags gets blockquoted. Except for now because I am using super-secret magic.</blockquote>

  90. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:26

    Yoop: make links like this:

    <a href=”http://your.url.here/foo/bar.html” title=”witty alt text here”>displayed text here</a>

    Quotes work like this:

    <blockquote>prior witticism here</blockquote>

    <i>italics</i>

    <b>bold</b>

    <strike>strikethrough</strike>

    (FYWP in advance if that doesn’t look right)

  91. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:27

    And now we have a perfect opportunity to learn about “ahemming” from Substance.

    Dammit.

  92. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:28

    AHE–[raises pointy finger, knocking over Ming vase]

  93. Ann "You People" Rmoney said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:35

    test

  94. kg said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:36

    thanks obs, that was cool. I’d buy you a beer but…

  95. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:38

    Since I am not rich I therefore lack the impulse-control to keep from noticing that both Shaidle and Hawkins are doing their best to approach sphericality.

    They are victims of their 47% fat diet.

    OBS, you ever do no-chill? Have any words of wisdom to impart?

    Finally, please everyone fall in love with this. If it goes away I’ll cry harder than Boehner, and I can’t spare that much moisture.

  96. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:39

    T’ank yas kind peepos.
    Is it legal to ahem from a previous post?
    (Ferchristsake am I suckin up er wot?)

  97. Thread Bear said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:46

    Yoop, ahems from previous posts do happen here. There really aren’t any rules here, except the “Bozo the cocksucker rule” which says that if you are the first one to comment at a new thread you MUST post “First!”.

  98. another kiwi said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:46

    Subby, where is that bbextra page thingy? I downloaded that and now all the italics etc. are on the right-click button.

  99. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:49

    OBS, you ever do no-chill? Have any words of wisdom to impart?

    Nah, sorry. I have a plate chiller that works like it’s magic.

  100. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 21:57

    Subby, where is that bbextra page thingy?

    It’s the zombie that uses that with Firefox. I do AutoHotkey with Windows.

    Download Autohotkey. Run it. Right-click the tiny system-tray icon. Choose “Edit This Script”. Put this on a single line:

    :O:bq::<blockquote></blockquote>{LEFT 13}

    Now when you type “bq” you not only get blockquotes – in any application/browser – but it plunks your cursor down right in the middle of them.

  101. gocart mozart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:01

    Does the Republican Party suffer from Koro Syndrome?
    http://io9.com/5944722/koro-syndrome-the-irrational-fear-of-lethal-genital-shrinkage

  102. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:03

    My frist ahem, what is a test

  103. gocart mozart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:10

    My link made the opposite point as yours so your ahem is not apropo. My link exhonerated the feminazis as the cause for penile disenhancement. I see your ahem and raise you a harumpf Yoop sir!

  104. J Neo Marvin said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:14

    Koro syndrome not to be confused with Kuru.


    Or candiru.

  105. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:18

    I’m SOMEBODY now!!!

  106. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:23

    Fuck me to tears.
    I was ahemmin Pryme, but it takes so long to type on this stoopidfone that all context is lost.
    I shoulda just stayed a Luddite.
    [Kicks gravel at my favorite chipmunk]

  107. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:23

    I have the day off, so Curly and I had some snuggle time.
    .

  108. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:23

    Koro syndrome, kuru, and candiru fish are all very bad things. William S. Burroughs mentioned 2 of the 3 in his books, passing over kuru. Why? I say because kuru has nothing to do with dicks.

  109. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:31

    Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:23 (kill)

    I was ahemmin Pryme, but it takes so long to type on this stoopidfone that all context is lost.

    As clearly laid out in paragraph 3, subsection 6 of the SadlyNo “quoting and ahemming guidelines document” version 17.2:

    All “ahemming” must either occur immediately after the offending “ahemmable” comment or include a quoted reference to the offending comment. Infractions against this rule are punished by forced mango-gathering from the swamp of the “ahemmed” commenters choosing.

  110. Pryme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:36

    I take pride that my obliviousness causes lurkers to reveal themselves via “ahems.” I call it “recruiting.”

    (Come on out, y’all, I won’t bite…unless you’re paying good money)

  111. Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:45

    Once again my thought wanders to the Antichrist character in Narnia: “you think true freedom means doing what you want? Well, you’re wrong. True freedom means doing what I tell you. King Frederick Wilhelm III of Prussia tells you”.

    Fickxed for extra Dialectical Materialism.

  112. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:46

    My frist ahem, what is a test

    Test, test, what is test?

  113. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:51

    I’m enjoying a SNPA.
    .

  114. kg said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:52

    Sadly, No! Pale Ale?

  115. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:56

    Sadly, No! Pale Ale?

    Close! That’s what I shall call it from now on, btw.
    .

  116. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 22:59

    Situation Normal Pissed Aaaaffff.

  117. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:00

    Here’s an Ahem from 5 years ago, when Limbaugh was already fulminating about that penis-stealing Feminazi witchcraft.

  118. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:06

    Situation Normal Pissed Aaaaffff.

    Here in The Souf, we pronounce it “awf.”
    .

  119. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:08

    I feminazi-witched Rush’s l’il guy away by forcing him to become a fat cigar-smoking druggie. PHEAR MY POWAHZ.

  120. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:12

    Situation Normal, Pissed Again

  121. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:15

    I feminazi-witched Rush’s l’il guy away by forcing him to become a fat cigar-smoking druggie. PHEAR MY POWAHZ.

    You are brave to own up to this. I would be terrified of the mass of dittoheads enraged by the loss of the action hero / brain surgeon / astronaut / bestselling author / movie star / rock star / handsome millionaire playboy man around town that he was so obviously destined to be.

  122. tsad said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:17

    PHEAR MY POWAHZ

    We do. That’s why we would never use a term like “feminazi”.

  123. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:20

    Paul Ryan needs to “rub off more” on Mitt Romney.
    Even more!

  124. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:21

    the loss of the action hero / brain surgeon / astronaut / bestselling author / movie star / rock star / handsome millionaire playboy man around town that he was so obviously destined to be.

    Buckaroo Banzai was a documentary.

  125. Whale Chowder said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:26

    Paul Ryan needs to “rub off more” on Mitt Romney

    Wait, are we talking about riding the subway here? Because that’s just wrong.

  126. Seriously, NOT the Doughy Pantload said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:31

    “Stop it!” she snapped. “You want to try it? Get in the ring.”

    Andy Kaufman has gone too fucking far this time.

  127. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:55

    Holy fuck.

    You couldn’t pay me to click. You couldn’t give me enough tacky club clothes or weaves or cigs. I won’t click.

    Holy fuck.

  128. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:56

    Sadly, No! Pale Ale?

    They serve that at all the Romney rallies, no?

  129. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2012 at 23:57

    Andy Kaufman has gone too fucking far this time.

    Hi. I my name is vacuumslayer. I couldn’t help but notice your comment is awesome. May I buy you a drink?

  130. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:00

    They serve that at all the Romney rallies, no?

    I really wanna have a beer with Mitt Rmoney. Sadly…
    .

  131. Whale Chowder said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:20

    I really wanna have a beer with Mitt Rmoney.

    I would happily have a beer with Mittens. Just as soon as…oh, say six figures’ worth of his wealth was redistributed to my bank account in the Cayman Islands.

  132. another kiwi said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:33

    Is Mitt Ramone still going? It’s a dead horse dude.

  133. tigris said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:39

    You have a beer with Mitt Romney you get to drink both of them, which is a plus. Would also make him easier to cope with.

  134. El Manquécito said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:45

    Re: no-chill beer making. I’ve done this and have some thoughts about it. Can be great but, IIRC, you and I have different ideas about beer. (who doesn’t?)

    Exford Legs: were you making real cider? with real apples? in what hemisphere? have we met?

  135. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:45

    You have a beer with Mitt Romney you get to drink both of them, which is a plus. Would also make him easier to cope with.

    A point you have, young Padawan.
    .

  136. Whale Chowder said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:50

    You have a beer with Mitt Romney you get to drink both of them, which is a plus.

    Only a plus if you have about a quart of whiskey to back it.

  137. tigris said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:51

    you and I have different ideas about beer.

    What, you prefer to bathe in it or something?

  138. tigris said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:55

    Only a plus if you have about a quart of whiskey to back it.

    Me = cheap date.

  139. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:56

    Only a plus if you have about a quart of whiskey to back it.

    Angry drunks rule.

  140. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 22, 2012 at 0:58

    This damage-control attempt is pretty interesting.

  141. tsad said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:02

    Mormons:

    No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
    Nofun, no sin, no you, no wonder it’s dark
    Everyone around me is a total stranger
    Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger

  142. Whale Chowder said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:16

    I think I’m turning Moroni
    I think I’m turning Moroni
    I really think so…

  143. smut clyde said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:17

    Angry drunks rule.

    Is that like Rule 34?

  144. smut clyde said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:17

    We’re on the road and we’re gunning for Moroni

  145. Chris said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:24

    OT courtesy of Balloon Juice;

    Libyan protestors, apparently a crowd of 30,000ish, force Salafi militia out of its compound and fucking torch the place.

    Can I just say I fucking love these people right now.

  146. El Manquécito said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:28

    Me = cheap date.

    Excellent.

    What, you prefer to bathe in it or something?

    Uh, something?

  147. Whale Chowder said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:29

    Is that like Rule 34?

    I was thinking more along the lines of Angry Drunken Dwarves.

  148. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:42

    I trhink I will start a petition to fix this.
    .

  149. the prince of peace said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:45

    Fucking Christ! How can people be so stupid? A child can understand what I say! A child! What? You want to speak to cheeses? We seem to have a bad connection. La-la-la-la-la — I can’t hear you. La-la-la-la-la — I’m hanging up now and blocking your number, asshole!

  150. Whale Chowder said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:50

    Jesus, Jesus. For the Prince of Peace you seem kinda uptight, know what I mean? Chillax dude, have a little perspective.

  151. Whale Chowder said,

    September 22, 2012 at 1:56

    Maybe some wine.

  152. El Manquécito said,

    September 22, 2012 at 2:01

    Maybe some wine.

    It’ll have that great tax-free taste!

  153. the prince of death said,

    September 22, 2012 at 2:21

    Look at this (came up after doing a search on the shorter):

    http://wittenbergtrail.org/forum/topics/what-is-poverty?commentId=1453099%3AComment%3A516031&xg_source=activity

    You’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it!

  154. Yoop said,

    September 22, 2012 at 2:34

    I trhink I will start a petition to fix this.

    Please tell me there is a Lick My Love Pump Ave.
    I will move.

  155. another kiwi said,

    September 22, 2012 at 2:38

    OH fucking thanks, Prince of Death.
    I was listening to Bloomberg radio tonight, and one topic was food stamps – now supplied on a debit card so as to avoid a “stigma”. Everywhere I go, I see these tax-eating parasites buying blobs of food while wearing their perfectly-matched, velvet sweatsuits, the latest Nike shoe model, or sporting hairdos and tanning salon tan lines that my budget can’t accomodate.

    I’m sorry ma’am the Waaaahmbulance is kinda full at the moment we may be able to get around to you in 30 years or so. Until then perhaps you could stick your head further up your bum. Have a nice day

  156. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:00

    I agree with A.K., he’s smart.
    ~

  157. the prince of peace said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:29

    Whale Chowder, I’ve said all this before but most of the people calling my name day and night just don’t get it when I say, “Many will cry Lord, Lord but I will not hear them”. Pretty simple, huh? I’ve told my disciples how stupid they are and that a child can understand what I say so what’s their problem– that was in my short time on earth. You have these morons calling your name incessantly for centuries asking for special favors while acting like assholes then you try chilling out!

  158. Golem Heart said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:33

    “… and tanning salon tan lines that my budget can’t accomodate.”

    There, you see, none of this welfare resentment could possibly be about race. Who needs a tan? White people, that’s who … But hold on a minute. Nobody’s budget should accommodate tanning salons, because they’re a waste of money. And let me add that if you’re getting tan lines at a salon, you’re doing it doubly wrong (first by paying, etc.).

    I’ll pass over these mysterious “blobs” of food — surely only admirably thrifty proles eat “blobs” — to mention the debit cards. Now, we non-proles use cards frequently, for a number of reasons. We use cash, too, but less and less. For my part I’ve noticed that shameful gifts and handouts can be deposited in one’s bank account, or taken as cash. Either way, when one spends one’s unearned money, there’s no stigma!

    People who think that giving out benefits in ways that are presumed to be embarrassing will diminish their use are stupid as fuck, and have probably never been in dire straits. We could easily prove this with a simple experiment: offer people twice more food stamps (in the literal sense) than food credit (in the form of a card) — their choice.

  159. Golem Heart said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:38

    And: should it be the role of government to humiliate its beneficiaries? … Why isn’t this rule applied more generally?

  160. Major Kong said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:43

    And: should it be the role of government to humiliate its beneficiaries? … Why isn’t this rule applied more generally?

    Ooooooh! I like it!

    Just imagine if farm subsidies, corporation tax breaks or defense contracts came with a healthy dose of public humiliation.

  161. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:52

    Just imagine if farm subsidies, corporation tax breaks or defense contracts came with a healthy dose of public humiliation.

    Corporate intravaginal ultrasound. I will write the legislation.
    .

  162. N__B said,

    September 22, 2012 at 3:53

    I hear the Weyland Corporation knows all about probing orifices.

  163. tigris said,

    September 22, 2012 at 4:04

    Just imagine if farm subsidies, corporation tax breaks or defense contracts came with a healthy dose of public humiliation.

    HOLY CRAP that would be awesome. I won’t ask the Prince of Peace for this though, he needs to relax and have a beer.

  164. Golem Heart said,

    September 22, 2012 at 4:21

    Just imagine if farm subsidies, corporation tax breaks or defense contracts came with a healthy dose of public humiliation.

    As it stands, the healthy does of public humiliation would be ours, for suggesting that anybody look into these expenditures.

  165. paleotectonics said,

    September 22, 2012 at 4:41

    As it stands, the healthy does of public humiliation would be ours, for suggesting that anybody look into these expenditures.

    GH, I am not beyond a bit of public humiliation. With that Caveat:

    ADM, Exxon, Lockheed, come on down! Its time to play The Price Is What!?!

  166. Golem Heart said,

    September 22, 2012 at 4:47

    OK yeah, paleo. Put me on the spot for my debts to society, and what I’ve contributed.

  167. Golem Heart said,

    September 22, 2012 at 4:48

    Which is to say, the targets I have in my sights won’t fare as well.

  168. N__B said,

    September 22, 2012 at 6:29

    The upside-downies are getting feisty: http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/scarce/australian-deputy-pm-cranks-and-crazies-gop

  169. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 22, 2012 at 6:55

    Corporate intravaginal ultrasound. I will write the legislation.

    Is that where they take pictures of both sets of books and post them on the interbutts while telling them how dirty and bad they have been?

  170. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 22, 2012 at 6:56

    The upside-downies are getting feisty:

    We have always been at war with Oceania.

  171. smut clyde said,

    September 22, 2012 at 7:20

    should it be the role of government to humiliate its beneficiaries?
    Of course. It is good practice before using the same techniques on everyone else.

  172. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 22, 2012 at 8:39

    Commentary is not just slipping desperate abominations but also observing twerps.
    He who is not a gibbering beast to himself doesn’t know himself.
    It’s not who we consume that shows us up, it’s who we don’t consume.

  173. another kiwi said,

    September 22, 2012 at 9:36

    I couldn’t eat another mouthful of this Willard, it’s too rich.

  174. tensor said,

    September 22, 2012 at 11:45

    Why am I killing myself flying night freight?

    10. Route planning is easier without those pesky human-freight flights to worry about.

    9. Packages don’t complain about your pilot technique.

    8. Desk jobs are boring.

    7. Only losers awaken in the same city every day.

    6. Everyone has to pay their dues in the right-hand seat.

    5. Starlight in the flight deck is its own reward.

    4. “You say someone complained about our takeoff roll? Sorry, your transmission seems to be fading out!” (Click)

    3. Ejection and riding the ‘chute are REALLY unlikely.

    2. Dodging T-Storms is easier than avoiding AA.

    1. Standing up the throttles on a 757 is WAY COOL!

  175. S. cerevisiae said,

    September 22, 2012 at 15:10

    OH NOES! Obammy better start lawyering up:

    http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2012/09/barack_obama_birther_dna_bin_laden_child_molester_saddam_hussein.php

  176. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 22, 2012 at 15:25

    Chuck Pierce is on “Up” this morning. He’s awesome.

  177. Golem Heart said,

    September 22, 2012 at 15:54

    I’m gonna raise a glass to this Aussie Deputy PM (“Let’s be blunt and acknowledge the biggest threat to the world’s biggest economy are the cranks and crazies that have taken over the Republican Party”). But any Tea Partiers who notice will likely eat it up.

  178. Exford legs said,

    September 22, 2012 at 16:05

    Manquécito, I was brewing real cider when I lived in Sussex. I’m Australian and I have returned home now. I lived on a small estate on which the street names were Orchard Road, Orchard Avenue etc. Surprise surprise most back yards had an apple tree or two remaining from the time when the area was all orchards.

    One day my housemate and I though we’d have a go at brewing. Photos here and here.

    2011 season’s stock took a big hit when those hurricanes off the East coast of USA translated into a few days of strong wind over the other side of the Atlantic. Blew my young apples off the bloody tree. Because of that, I bulked the small yield out with cheapo boxed apple juice from Aldi. It was.. less of a challenge to imbibe than the other batch.

    I don’t think we have met. You play mandolin? I have only met one mandolin player, and he was from Canberra. Canberra is Australia’s equivalent of Washington DC.. Big national offices and administrative hub and yawn fucking roundabouts who designed this place?

  179. Pere Ubu said,

    September 22, 2012 at 16:48

    People who think that giving out benefits in ways that are presumed to be embarrassing will diminish their use are stupid as fuck, and have probably never been in dire straits. We could easily prove this with a simple experiment: offer people twice more food stamps (in the literal sense) than food credit (in the form of a card) — their choice.

    Indeedly-doodly. Having done the stamps as well as the card, I for one much prefer the card. But were they to double my allotment, I’d be standing there in line with my haul, dirty looks from the other shoppers be damned.

    I’ve done nothing wrong, other than being born in America in the days of the Conservative Siege.

  180. Pere Ubu said,

    September 22, 2012 at 16:49

    oh, FU blog software, I closed that damn italics tag.

  181. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 22, 2012 at 18:28

    Everywhere I go, I see these tax-eating parasites buying blobs of food while wearing their perfectly-matched, velvet sweatsuits, the latest Nike shoe model, or sporting hairdos and tanning salon tan lines that my budget can’t accomodate.

    Ome wonders whether the people using the debit cards, in order to avoid the stigma, loudly announce to the cashier and all present that they are making their purchases using a gubblemint supplied moocher card or whether perhaps the writer is so keenly observant he or she can recognize the cards from a brief glance from back in the checkout line or whether – and I personally think this is the most likely case but then I am an eliminationist liberal Jebus hating fag so my perception is surely suspect – the writer Imagines that anyone who fits his or her notion of what a leech looks like is using one of those leech moocher parasite cards, and finally whether I can make this sentence any longer.

  182. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 22, 2012 at 18:36

    Helmut Monotreme said,
    September 21, 2012 at 18:31

    I’m having another one of those spells when it seems like the world is just piling up tinder for the next world war. We’ve got crypto fascist demagogues claiming half of the US is dead weight, moochers and parasites. There are people in Europe perfectly willing to drive other countries into grinding poverty that they call austerity to pay back loans they never should have gotten in the first place.

    It is true that they shouldn’t have been able to sell their bonds (get loaned money) at such favorable rates that they could freely spend it. But that’s not the point here. It is also true that, in at least the Greece case, they got into that situation through bookkeeping trickery supplied at reasonable rates by Goldman Sachs but that also misses the point. The point is that the people who are driving those other countries into grinding poverty (stupidly and counter-productively, IMandPaulKrugman’sHOs) were perfectly happy to sell them many Mercedes automobiles and Siemens trains and BMWs and so on and so forth.

  183. bughunter, who still hasn't seen Prometheus, said,

    September 22, 2012 at 18:54

    hear the Weyland Corporation knows all about probing orifices.

    Weyland-Yutani? Did they finally get their specimen?

  184. bughunter said,

    September 22, 2012 at 19:04

    Oh, and I think I found out where Shaidle got the idea for this post: Megan McArdle wrote a column on basically the same topic four days ago.

    Glubdammit. She found another outlet for her drivel? At least she went to a publication I already ignore, rather than continuing to disgrace one I used to have some respect for, before she eroded that.

    (And to think, Newsweek used to be consider the more liberal of the big two weekly news ‘zines.)

    (Note I say ‘more liberal.’ Neither of them have been anything but mainstream propaganda outlets compared to The Nation.)

    (BTW, where was Katrina vanden Heuvel on the list of Hot Liberals? She’s been on my MILF list for a long time. I even met her in person at a book fair and it only moved her up in rank.)

  185. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 22, 2012 at 19:12

    As Thomas Sowell and many others like to point out, our “poor” enjoy luxuries the Sun King could only dream of: cell phones (or three), cars (or two), Playstations and big screen TVs.

    What I don’t understand is that the king had all this money and didn’t go shopping. Dude, there’s a Wal-Mart EVERYWHERE.

  186. Chris said,

    September 22, 2012 at 19:37

    As Thomas Sowell and many others like to point out, our “poor” enjoy luxuries the Sun King could only dream of: cell phones (or three), cars (or two), Playstations and big screen TVs.

    The Sun King also had gunpowder, hot air balloons and printing presses, all things that his Gaulish ancestors could only dream of.

    Clearly, this proves that there were no poor people under Louis XIV.

    Good talk, thanks Tom!

  187. W. Kiernan said,

    September 22, 2012 at 20:23

    Shaidle quotes some “expert” who informs us that in Mississippi, a single parent with two minor children and an annual income of $14,500 – that’s a full-time job, 50 40-hour weeks a year at Federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour – will receive $6,312 per year in food stamps and $16,500 in medical care from Medicare and CHIP. These numbers seem pretty dubious; does Mississippi really hand out $526 per month in food stamps to a family of three? And does the average family of three consume $16,500 in medical benefits?

    The ones in the top line, total income and payroll taxes, are yet more dubious, because the Federal tax tables are easy to look at. Shaildle’s table claims that a single parent with two dependents will pay $1,225 out of an income of $14.500, $4,574 out of an income of $30,000, and $13,034 out of an income of $60,000. I get $1,100, $3,300 and $10,000. Note also that that $60,000 a year single parent pays a higher Federal tax rate than Mitt Romney has out of his greater-than-$10-million income for the last three years.

  188. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 22, 2012 at 21:45

    Snugglers are the pregnant mothers of superstitions.

  189. N__B said,

    September 22, 2012 at 21:56

    Weyland-Yutani? Did they finally get their specimen?

    They got it in Alien Resurrection, for all the good it did them.

  190. paleotectonics said,

    September 22, 2012 at 22:06

    Note also that a single one-year-old may have paid an equivalent rate to Rawhide Romney in the years prior to 2009.

    Sociopathy – how does it fuckin’ work?

  191. El Manquécito said,

    September 22, 2012 at 22:12

    Cheers Ex, I used to pass a lot of time in the company of cider makers but it seems we haven’t met.

    If you paid money to see me play music in the last ten years I was on the upright style acoustical bass, last time I did a gig on mandolin was in California in the nineties, somewhere in San Mateo County. Nobody should pay to see that.

  192. smut clyde said,

    September 22, 2012 at 22:37

    Trump sighting.

  193. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 22, 2012 at 22:45

    Shaidle quotes some “expert” who informs us that in Mississippi, a single parent with two minor children and an annual income of $14,500 – that’s a full-time job, 50 40-hour weeks a year at Federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour – will receive $6,312 per year in food stamps and $16,500 in medical care from Medicare and CHIP. These numbers seem pretty dubious; does Mississippi really hand out $526 per month in food stamps to a family of three? And does the average family of three consume $16,500 in medical benefits?

    So what the fuck if they do? The other side is that people who get paid shit for their labor deserve for their children to be undernourished? And MY FUCKING GOD THEY GET HEALTH CARE THEY SHOULD ROT IN THE STREETS!

  194. Anonymous said,

    September 22, 2012 at 22:49

    Ome wonders whether the people using the debit cards, in order to avoid the stigma, loudly announce to the cashier and all present that they are making their purchases using a gubblemint supplied moocher card or whether perhaps the writer is so keenly observant he or she can recognize the cards from a brief glance from back in the checkout line…

    Most places use an EBT card.
    The ones in use in Michigan are rather distictive. They call it a “Bridge Card” because it has a big pretty picture of the Mackinac Bridge on it.
    That being said, my experience has been that anyone who would run the kinda shit this POS is is just nosy enough to crane their neck to see what kind of card that blah person is using while ignoring that nice cute blonde girl with three kids. (who just happens to be a part-time stripper with a meth habit)

  195. Yoop said,

    September 22, 2012 at 22:50

    Nym fail.
    I guess I’m a real S;naut now.

  196. Yoop said,

    September 22, 2012 at 23:05

    Company comin’!
    I’m guessing he won’t get the kinda help Salman Rushdie got.

  197. Yoop said,

    September 22, 2012 at 23:19

    Four.
    I’m gonna fart now.

  198. Yoop said,

    September 22, 2012 at 23:45

    [quickly mops up and throws mop and bucket in the back of the truck]

    Fuckin’ Canadian beer.

  199. John Revolta said,

    September 23, 2012 at 0:02

    I’ve been to Versailles. Meh. I’d trade it in a minute to watch the WWE on a 50 inch hi def.

  200. another kiwi said,

    September 23, 2012 at 0:12

    Unless you have been to Time Slip Versailless, you ain’t been there.

    Overheard on Australia’s best and most ethnically diverse TV news (SBS) 15 years ago.
    “Manchester United drew with Mar-sails today”

  201. Pere Ubu said,

    September 23, 2012 at 0:15

    That being said, my experience has been that anyone who would run the kinda shit this POS is is just nosy enough to crane their neck to see what kind of card that blah person is using while ignoring that nice cute blonde girl with three kids. (who just happens to be a part-time stripper with a meth habit)

    Pretty much. The EBT card is readily recognizable here in SC as well, if you know what you’re looking at, but you’d have to be a douchebag to really focus in on it and raise a ruckus.

    The card for unemployment benefits, though, is a regular blue ATM debit card, which it would be hard to recognize as anything “demeaning”.

    Which all doesn’t excuse the fact that the wingnuts are all pissed off entirely because it fails to give them proper validation to squeal and whine at the lazy parasites. I guess we should ring a hand-bell everywhere and yell “LEPER! UNCLEAN!” as we make our way to the store to buy red beans and rice to eat in our slovenly hovels. While wearing sackcloth and rags, of course.

  202. smut clyde said,

    September 23, 2012 at 0:57

    I guess we should ring a hand-bell everywhere and yell “LEPER! UNCLEAN!”

    Don’t you do that anyway?
    More room on the bus, and such as.

  203. N__B said,

    September 23, 2012 at 0:58

    I guess we should ring a hand-bell everywhere and yell “LEPER! UNCLEAN!”

    Don’t you do that anyway?
    More room on the bus, and such as.

    A reserved stall at the company toilet.

  204. Yoop said,

    September 23, 2012 at 1:13

    company toilet.

    Now if I had known THAT…

  205. Kathy Shaidle said,

    September 23, 2012 at 1:26

    You see, Jesus never met any black people because they hadn’t made it that far north back then.

    But It’s obvious that Jesus wouldn’t have liked them any more than he likes President Blackityblack…

  206. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 2:48

    How’s your fookin’ Saturday?
    .

  207. Golem Heart said,

    September 23, 2012 at 2:59

    You see, Jesus never met any black people because they hadn’t made it that far north back then.

    Everybody knows one of the three magi was black. He totally met baby Jesus.

  208. Bill Oraly said,

    September 23, 2012 at 3:52

    Back then the black people were pretty much the same as ordinary folks because ‘Merica had not been discovered and people didn’t know much. Only after white people found ‘Merica and True Manifest Destiny did the truth become evident.
    So that King black person wouldn’t be all “Wassup dawg” and high fivey He’d be “A great white person has been born and we all love him and will do what he says , and all of our descendants unto the generation who will like Rapmaster Flash music and will be snotty nosed slackers and not listen to anyone”.

  209. Christopher said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:00

    The ones in the top line, total income and payroll taxes, are yet more dubious, because the Federal tax tables are easy to look at. Shaildle’s table claims that a single parent with two dependents will pay $1,225 out of an income of $14.500, $4,574 out of an income of $30,000, and $13,034 out of an income of $60,000. I get $1,100, $3,300 and $10,000. Note also that that $60,000 a year single parent pays a higher Federal tax rate than Mitt Romney has out of his greater-than-$10-million income for the last three years.

    Said chart also includes childcare as an expense, but leaves out other necessities such as housing and transportation costs. It also leaves out Mississippi’s sales tax. It also fails to ask how many of Mississipi’s poor citizens are eligible for all of these benefits. Are there waiting lists? limits to how long you can be on the program?

    And finally, the comparison is ridiculous just because all that poor person’s “disposable income” can only be disposed of for certain things. If your kids need new school clothes no amount of medicaid benefits will pay for them. Car breaks down and you can’t get to work? Good luck finding a mechanic who takes food stamps! Meanwhile, the middle class person’s grocery money, can, in an emergency, go towards something else.

    That chart is where I gave up trying to read the article.

    What really amazes me is that I think anybody who has spent time with poor people has met poor people who stay poor mostly because of their own bad behavior like poor impulse control, bad money management, drug addiction, laziness, whatever.

    How you can fuck up such an uncontroversial point this badly is just completely beyond me. It’s like every sentence has something wrong with it. It’s an amazing tower of bad thinking.

  210. Pupienus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:00

    Mmmmm baby Jesus. Crisp roasted skin, tender pale meat. A lot like veal, one would think. With new potatoes. And broccoli.

  211. VCarlson said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:09

    Another thing these self-satisfied gits don’t mention (possibly because they just don’t think anout it) is how expensive it is to be poor. Savings accounts cost money, unless you already have enough money for the account to be free. You pay usurious amounts of interest to borrow money for anything. “Economy size” is only economical if you have the money to spare to buy in bulk and somewhere the bulk can be stored until you use it. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

  212. another kiwi said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:10

    Shaidle has replied to my comment. Apparently I am an embittered coward liberal.
    She’s a treasure

  213. N__B said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:19

    She called you embittered? THE DASTARD!

  214. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:20

    The fact is, most poor people do suck and are leaches on society. They are lazy and will not work, they are winers who dont like being shamed to do better, when thats all that worked for everyone else. Also, they are dependents who are in the tank for Obama so the less of them vote the better. You like having a poor army to vote in Your Mess-iah who wil give goverment grants for global warning research as well as more biased meida.

  215. another kiwi said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:21

    What? It means “Hung like a stallion” doesn’t it?

  216. Major Kong said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:47

    Why does every conservative pundit act like they personally invented the concept of work?

  217. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 4:55

    hey, where’s s. cervaise been? wanted to tell him about our day at this here place…

  218. Major Kong said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:00

    Looks like an interesting place bbkf. Would it be worth the 3-hour drive from Sioux Falls if I was up there on a weekend layover?

  219. tigris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:08

    As Thomas Sowell and many others like to point out, our “poor” enjoy luxuries the Sun King could only dream of: cell phones (or three), cars (or two), Playstations and big screen TVs.

    And pantyhose with elastic! Can still die of gangrene, though.

  220. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:08

    Looks like an interesting place bbkf. Would it be worth the 3-hour drive from Sioux Falls if I was up there on a weekend layover?

    oh, most definitely! hubbkf has gotten some of his best pictures there…and it’s really pretty huge…lots of ground to cover…you can camp there, but that’s when scary stuff happens, but i SOOOOO want to do it…if you do go, let me know and we can meet up with you…

  221. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:10

    As Thomas Sowell and many others like to point out, our “poor” enjoy luxuries the Sun King could only dream of: cell phones (or three), cars (or two), Playstations and big screen TVs.

    And pantyhose with elastic! Can still die of gangrene, though.

    also, too…they have dishwashers and microwaves!!!

  222. N__B said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:21

    And pantyhose with elastic!

    So much the better for using as a mask during a bank robbery.

  223. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:27

    (Back when “living” conditions in Victorian London were unspeakably appalling, Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…)

    srsly?!

  224. N__B said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:33

    srsly.

    Mary Kelly was actually an unusually determined suicide. (h/t to Alan Moore.)

  225. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 5:51

    That chart is LOADED with dumbassed assumptions and, as usual, the person using the chart provides no hint at the data used. Just income and what purports to be disposable income. This is why we should keep charts out of the hands of right wingers. They always end up putting an eye out with them.

    my favorite chart part is the ‘mississippi income tax’ thingy…does that apply to all poors no matter where they are geographically?

  226. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 6:06

    Mary Kelly was actually an unusually determined suicide. (h/t to Alan Moore.)

    that made me lol in a kind of disturbing way…and honestly, what woman wouldn’t prefer being jumped by a total freak, getting your tits cut off and/or being butchered probably while your still alive to living an admittedly pretty crappy life…

  227. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 6:29

    also, i should really learn to read better…

  228. Golem Heart said,

    September 23, 2012 at 8:16

    “what woman wouldn’t prefer being jumped by a total freak, getting your tits cut off and/or being butchered probably while your still alive to living an admittedly pretty crappy life…”

    I like to think that being a poor woman in that time and place could be even better

  229. bughunter said,

    September 23, 2012 at 8:17

    Derp. Up until bbkf’s post, I was reading this whole thread confusing Mary Kelly for Mary Shelley, and (obviously) missing the point entirely.

    I guess I need more gin. Or perhaps less.

    No… definitely more.

  230. bughunter said,

    September 23, 2012 at 8:25

    Also, too: Blame Cheney and PNAC for 9/11.

    Not a new insight. I remember first reading in Franken’s “Lies…” about Richard Clarke’s failure to gain any traction in the new Bush admin with his warnings about Al Qaida and the implication that the neocons needed their Pearl Harbor so let it happen so they could use it for political leverage.

    Mother.

    Fuckers.

  231. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 8:38

    Also, too: Blame Cheney and PNAC for 9/11.

    Not a new insight. I remember first reading in Franken’s “Lies…” about Richard Clarke’s failure to gain any traction in the new Bush admin with his warnings about Al Qaida and the implication that the neocons needed their Pearl Harbor so let it happen so they could use it for political leverage.

    Mother.
    Fuckers.

    Keep going, Sparky … you’re almost there.

  232. Golem Heart said,

    September 23, 2012 at 8:54

    “Keep going, Sparky … you’re almost there.”

    Almost where? 9/11 Trutherism? … Pardon my not connecting the dots here, but I’m drunk-n-sleepy.

  233. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 9:12

    Almost where? 9/11 Trutherism?

    I don’t know much about “trutherism.” It just seems to me that the step from ‘let it happen’ to ‘orchestrated it’ isn’t a very large one.

  234. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 9:53

    I don’t know much about “trutherism.” It just seems to me that the step from ‘let it happen’ to ‘orchestrated it’ isn’t a very large one.

    LIHOP I can believe. MIHOP, not really.
    .

  235. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 9:54

    Different strokes for different folks, as they say …

  236. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 9:57

    Different strokes for different folks, as they say …

    Yup. I mean, it’s not like they ignored repeated, months-long warnings AND wanted a reason to invade Iraq.
    .

  237. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:04

    I know, right … it’s like, they’re evil, but somehow not totally evil. Weird.

  238. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:07

    I know, right … it’s like, they’re evil, but somehow not totally evil. Weird.

    Regardless of how it went down, I have always believed one thang that I don’t understand why they won’t cop to it. That being Cheney’s order to shoot down Flight 93. Almost certain that happened, and there’s no good reason to not own it.
    .

  239. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:08

    Remove just one card …

  240. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:11

    Remove just one card …

    I have to believe that the heroic story served better than the truth, where the truth would not have been condemned by anyone, but it just wasn’t as nice as the fiction.

    If LIHOP were the case, I still don’t think they understood the magnitude of the damage that would be wrought.
    .

  241. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:15

    It’s true … they probably thought that it would be just on hijacked plane, and that it would hit the U.N. building.

  242. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:16

    That’s one hijacked plane. Idiot.

  243. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:18

    Although I’ve always wondered— why weren’t they scared that the uncontrolled hijackers might do something wacky like, you know, crash their plane into the Indian Point nuclear facility instead, thus rendering all of the greater NYC area uninhabitable?

    I guess letting it happen meant letting the chips fall where they may, for real.

  244. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:21

    I guess letting it happen meant letting the chips fall where they may, for real.

    Maybe they didn’t let it happen, but ya really gotta wonder, given the “hair on fire” warnings since spring, 2001.
    .

  245. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 10:25

    Yeah … I guess when Major General Larry Arnold told the 9/11 Commission that the Langley jets were scrambled at 9:24 in response to Flight 93, which according to that same 9/11 Commission wasn’t brought to NORAD’s attention until 10:07, he was just confused …

  246. the artist formally know as lobbey said,

    September 23, 2012 at 12:53

    Long time, so see, peeps, yous all holding it together…….

    anyway and completely o/t, our old friend Hugh H is having a nervous breakdown over, well just about everything. He finishes off his latest bs wit

    “Look out for kitchen sinks. Romney is winning and it is going to get uglier still as Chicago gets more and more desperate.”.

    I’m getting out the popcorn, this is going to be a great next couple of months

    http://www.hughhewitt.com/blog/g/d0191aa2-182d-47d0-87d9-ed976f85207f.

  247. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 23, 2012 at 13:25

    They are lazy and will not work, they are winers who dont like being shamed to do better, when thats all that worked for everyone else

    Stupid Gary misspelled “winos”, which reminds me- to hell with poverty.

  248. Pere Ubu said,

    September 23, 2012 at 15:07

    OMFG crazy 9/11 Truther! Wheee!

    It followed us home, Mom, can we keep it? I promise to feed it and take it for walks and let it read Prison Planet every day…

  249. Pere Ubu said,

    September 23, 2012 at 15:44

    Romney is winning

    You can tell, because every time he opens his ignint piehole his poll numbers drop.

    But, see, that’s how he’s going to win. He’s going to tank his campaign so far into the negatives that it wraps around and ends up in front of Obama. Profit!!!

  250. N__B said,

    September 23, 2012 at 15:46

    Pere Ubu –

    You’ll have to clean up after it, and if it bites you we’re putting you both down.

  251. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 15:50

    OMFG crazy 9/11 Truther! Wheee!

    It followed us home, Mom, can we keep it? I promise to feed it and take it for walks and let it read Prison Planet every day…

    Seriously? You believe that a 110 story building can turn completely to dust in eleven seconds as a result of a few thousand gallons of kerosene, yet “truthers” are “crazy”. Fuck off.

  252. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 15:50

    Romney is winning

    Hewitt knows this must be true. Nothing else is possible. Reality is a socialist plot.

  253. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 15:59

    Oh yeah, I forgot, this is a world in which Mitt fucking Romney is an actual candidate for President of the United States of America. So I guess anything is possible.

  254. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 16:05

    Fuck off.

    Watch out for the satellite-mounted death rays and the mini-nukes on your way out.

  255. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 16:11

    Again, seriously? Anyone mention death rays? Mini-nukes?

    No, didn’t think so.

  256. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 16:18

    Anyone mention death rays? Mini-nukes?

    Seriously? You believe that a 110 story building can turn completely to dust in eleven seconds as a result of a anything other than death rays from Planet Xenos? How much is Cheney paying you?

  257. tigris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 16:19

    Romney is winning and it is going to get uglier still as Chicago gets more and more desperate.

    LEAVE MITT ALOOOOONE! *sob*

  258. Pere Ubu said,

    September 23, 2012 at 16:25

    I am indeed crazy, and I have the meds to prove it, but I’m not STUPID.

    I guess they have those other three “hijacked” planes hidden at Groom Lake next to the Ark Of The Covenant and the saucer that crashed in 1946, and people work every day in buildings that have been prepared for demolition and just don’t notice it.

    But it’s just like the Death Star – how could a little missile bring down an entire battlestation, unless the Emperor and Vader were in on the plot themselves?

  259. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 17:00

    Romney is winning and it is going to get uglier still as Chicago gets more and more desperate.

    Huh? Seems like the Pale Hos are in, though it’s always hard to count Leland out. You know he’s not a Cubbies fan.

  260. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 17:05

    You know he’s not a Cubbies fan.

    Er, Romney that would be. He’s desperate in a lot of ways but not hopeless and likable.

  261. Major Kong said,

    September 23, 2012 at 17:15

    Regardless of how it went down, I have always believed one thang that I don’t understand why they won’t cop to it. That being Cheney’s order to shoot down Flight 93. Almost certain that happened, and there’s no good reason to not own it.

    The only planes that managed to scramble that day were carrying guns only, they didn’t have time to load missiles.

    I don’t know if the order to shoot was given or not, but nobody ever got remotely close enough to take a shot.

  262. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 17:49

    grrr…why must brunch be spoiled with 9/11? although will david has a point: we DO live in a world where mittens is a candidate for president…it seems to me we ARE living in some sort of crazy orchestrated plot…

  263. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 17:50

    also, when i was growing up, i never noticed the cross-dressing/homoeroticism in ‘the shakiest gun in the west’…ntl, don knotts always invokes fond childhood memories and lulz…

  264. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 17:59

    See, that’s exactly why MIHOP isn’t credible. They are all far too incompetent to have been able to pull it off. Would have taken too many people in on it duch that the probability of fuckup approaches unity.

  265. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:24

    okay…what does mihop and lihop stand for? it makes me think of pancakes, but i don’t think that’s it…

  266. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:24

    also, major, the cousins LOVED the fry-bread…

  267. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:25

    (I am temporarily turning off my truther mocking mode)

    WARNING – long boring 9/11 post.

    The only planes that managed to scramble that day were carrying guns only, they didn’t have time to load missiles.

    Two F-16s were scrambled from Langley at 9:30. They were on alert status and I’m pretty sure that they were armed. Weirdly, they were scrambled not in response to Flights 77 and 93 – which were actually on their way towards Washington but which NORAD was unaware of – but instead to intercept Flight 11, which had crashed into the World Trade Center about 45 minutes earlier. In the confusion, it was believed that Flight 11 was still in the air and heading towards Washington. Because of this, the Langley F-16s were first ordered north and then for some reason wound up flying east over the Atlantic. NORAD became aware of Flight 77 at 9:36 and immediately ordered the F-16s back to Washington, but they were still far away when Flight 77 hit the Pentagon a couple minutes later. The Langley F-16s only arrived over Washington at 9:49. About an hour later they were reinforced by three fighters from nearby Andrews AFB, but the Andrews planes had not been on alert and had taken off with little or no ammuntion. The Andrews pilots later stated that they were prepared to ram an incoming aircraft if necessary.

    I don’t know if the order to shoot was given or not, but nobody ever got remotely close enough to take a shot.

    Last I heard it’s generally believed that Cheney did issue an unauthorized shoot-down order. It didn’t matter – in all the confusion the order was given several minutes after Flight 93 had crashed and it was inoperative since it wasn’t sent through the regular chain of command. It wasn’t clear if the pilots who were patrolling over Washington and New York ever received the order at all.

    Cheney and Bush virtually certainly lied about the origins of the shoot-down order and this has made it very difficult to determine what actually happened. My information on this stuff is several years old – maybe more has come out since then that I’m not aware of.

    See, that’s exactly why MIHOP isn’t credible. They are all far too incompetent to have been able to pull it off.

    Right on.

  268. tigris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:30

    LIHOP = let it happen on purpose
    MIHOP = made it happen on purpose

  269. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:34

    IHOP = International House of Purpose

  270. Major Kong said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:43

    also, major, the cousins LOVED the fry-bread…

    Glad to hear it.

  271. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:49

    Major, what fry-bread?

  272. Major Kong said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:51

    A while back she asked for a recipe for Navajo fry-bread. It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Looks like a big puffy tortilla.

  273. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 18:53

    the cousins LOVED the fry-bread…

    Next stop; sopaipillas

  274. Cerberus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:08

    I’m more of a fan of FUAIH myself. Bush and co were fuckups, have always been fuckups, and have constantly made the first mistake of dealers (don’t sample the product). And so because of misplaced priorities, pettiness over Bill Clinton, and a belief that their experts totally knew better than some pussy-foot liberal deskjockey, completely fucked their jobs and ignored critical intel and warnings. And once they had the martyrdom their incompetence created, they decided to run with it in the incompetent way we see the wars have turned out.

    We as humans always want nice conspiracies for things, because it’s easier than thinking a bunch of dimwit psychotics with a half-hatched plan were allowed to stumble into mass murder because the most powerful nation on Earth was being run by people who couldn’t tie their shoes without detailed instructions and an ego handjob.

  275. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:11

    I hate to bug you, Major, but I could I get a link or the recipe again?

  276. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:11

    El Manquecito, are sopapillas hard to make?

  277. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:20

    are sopapillas hard to make?

    Like any yeast bread the ‘hardness’, heh, is in the timing. If you’re familiar with the timing the actual work is nothin’. They (those puffy, golden, begging for honey and green chili sopaipillas) assume you have a fryolator ready to go, if you don’t it’ll seem hard because setting up a deep fat fryer for just a few minutes of cooking is not efficient.

  278. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:22

    BTW, that was good Cerb: new category, 9-11 Cerberist

  279. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:26

    I’ve only made yeast bread in a bread maker. Still kinda kowed by baking somewhat.

    I’ve never had sopaipillas with chocolate sauce. I’m not a honey fan.

  280. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:32

    Glad to hear it.

    i have to send them both the recipe…it’s so easy!

    I’ve never had sopaipillas with chocolate sauce. I’m not a honey fan.

    this morning we had them (the frybread) with some butter, sliced strawberries and powdered sugar…effingamazeballs!

  281. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:36

    I’ve never had the Chilean kind, I associate sopaipillas with New Mexico green chili and dry country sage honey. Mmmmm. I find them a little too tempting but YMMV.

    Sopaipillas don’t have any of the difficulties of real bread they’re more like a yeast raised waffle or churro where you’re using yeast as a leavener but there’s no shaping and minimal gluten issues. That said, high gluten bread flour makes better sopaipillas.

  282. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:41

    Sopapillas, in my experience of living in Texas, are usually served with honey. I don’t see that chocolate would be a bad thing but I wouldn’t use it because the sopapillas are rather delicate flavor-wise.

    And now I’m thinking I should whip up some beignets for brunch. I’ve got some lemon curd on hand….

  283. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:44

    I’ve got some lemon curd on hand….

    shush yer mouf…

  284. bbkf said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:46

    ooooh…fry bread (i have to stick with the super-easy stuff) and homemade tangerine marmalade would be the bomb…one of the cousins brought some uncured canadian bacon…oh, i would love to brunch all over again this morning…

  285. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:52

    completely fucked their jobs and ignored critical intel and warnings

    Right on again.

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a group of people as utterly, blatantly gobsmacked as the Bushies were on the morning of 9/11. It’s beyond me how anyone could believe that those pathetic clusterfuckers knew what was going to happen.

  286. Chris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:53

    Cerberus said,
    September 23, 2012 at 19:08

    I’ll throw in the fact that the Bush foreign policy when coming into office was based on a fixation with Russia and China that was at least ten years past its expiration date, and consisted mostly of scrapping our arms agreements so that we could build SDI and bunker-busting nukes for reasons that defy all comprehension (other than “it makes military contractors happy.”) The Israel/Palestine conflict? The rise of Islamic fundamentalism? All those wars that exploded all around the third world as soon as the Cold War was done? Not a peep about any of that shit.

  287. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 19:56

    OT:

    There’s lots of good stuff in this, even without Charlie.

  288. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 20:03

    Chris obviously hasn’t considered the effectiveness of SDI and bunk her, bust her missiles on underpants bombs.

  289. vacuumslayer said,

    September 23, 2012 at 20:11

    This conversation is painful to a hungry person.

    IMma go make some cookies.

  290. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 20:15

    underpants bombs

    Veiled POOP reference.

  291. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    September 23, 2012 at 20:59

    I find peoples’ response to conspiracies (& the theories that love them) to be very interesting indeed.

    As far as I can tell, there can be no conspiracy large or naked enough to prevent the majority default reaction to a conspiracy theory from being “STFU, that’s crazy/bullshit/impossible.” If the nature of a conspiracy produces serious structural challenges to the mainstream reality-tunnel, the number of documented facts that is required to make its corresponding theory culturally accepted by said mainstream rapidly approaches infinity.

    Propaganda Due was a Masonic conspiracy that effectively ran much of Italy for many years (indeed, some would say it still does: Berlusconi is/was P-2)- & largely got away with it scott-free – but if you just described the bare bones of the conspiracy without clarifying that all this crazy shit actually happened, most people would just laugh you right out of the room.

    Operation Paperclip? Iran-Contra? BCCI? Nugan Hand? ENRON?

    They just keep dropping down the ol’ Memory Hole, & everyone goes back to Monkey Business As Usual until the next prefab catastrophe (when some overpaid yut in a suit can be depended on to whine on cue that “nobody could have seen this coming”) … & I’m not even including the horror stories that are hiding in plain sight, outfits like DARPA or SAIC that do breathtakingly evil shit on a daily basis that has the potential to make 9/11 look like naptime at a daycare. NOT ON CNN = ISN’T REALLY HAPPENING.

    “Surely someone would’ve talked” doesn’t cut it either … not when the people “asking” for your full cooperation can monitor you 24/7 & know where your family lives – & not in the face of a vast & growing cavalcade of secret ops like NORTHWOODS, or DOD wonks covertly dosing kids with isotopes to see what would happen, that did indeed stay completely sub rosa for decades. We found out that the US actually started backing the Mujahedeen under Carter & not Reagan just a short while ago – & only even then because Brzezinsky wanted to toot his horn as a Cold Warrior.

    Trouble is, the Interwebs puke info like a wino pukes Night Train, & nearly all secret ops include someone who gets sloppy sooner or later.

    I think Wikileaks is the tip of an iceberg.

    You think the 9/11 Truthers’ narratives are weird?
    You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

  292. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:05

    There’s some level of conspiracy that every Goldilocks finds just right. Otherwise it’s like ‘people that drive faster than me are maniacs, people that drive slower than me are idiots’. This is how primates understand stuff, that’s crazy and that’s dumb. And I’m just right.

  293. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:05

    As far as I can tell, there can be no conspiracy large or naked enough to prevent the majority default reaction to a conspiracy theory from being “STFU, that’s crazy/bullshit/impossible.”

    Oh, I believe there was a 9/11 conspiracy – headed by Mohammad Atta.

  294. Major Kong said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:07

    I hate to bug you, Major, but I could I get a link or the recipe again?

    No problem. I’ll try to find it later.

  295. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:11

    Thanks!

  296. Chris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:20

    jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
    September 23, 2012 at 20:59

    I tend to just use the word “corruption” rather than “conspiracy” when describing things like Propaganda Due.

    “Conspiracy” summons the image of secret Illuminati councils run by eebil Jews/bankers/lizard-people/wev, so people dismiss it immediately. “Corruption” invokes the simple fact that rich, powerful and connected people often get together in ways that screw over the general public, which almost everyone in both parties realizes actually happens.

  297. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:31

    Chris, why don’t you mention the Bilderbergs by name? And what about Carlyle Group?

  298. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:32

    Game day doodies?
    .

  299. Chris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:32

    Chris, why don’t you mention the Bilderbergs by name?

    I’m part of the conspiracy.

  300. Chris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:32

    DUH.

  301. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:42

    I’m part of the conspiracy.

    We all are, but the implanted nanobots keep us from admitting it.

    AAAARGH!!!

  302. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:42

    I KNEW IT! Walked right into my trap!

  303. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:43

    We all are, but the implanted nanobots keep us from admitting it.

    Heh. As a college freshman I was fond of saying “free will is a myth we believe because we have no choice otherwise.”

  304. Chris said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:44

    AAAARGH!!!

    He’s dead, Jim.

  305. bughunter said,

    September 23, 2012 at 21:55

    Jeebus H. Crotchcrickets.

    Has Trutherism rendered any claim of culpability on the Bush administration “whackjob conspiracy theory?”

    FUALIH. Definitely. LIHOP? Most criticisms of this assume that the “conspirators” knew in advance how devastating the action would be. Remember, the last time binLaden tried something, he created a lot of smoke, only six casualties and some big ass insurance claims and not much else aside from interruption of TV service, apparently.

    So, I’ve always assumed a combination of Major Fuckup (letting partisan politics sideline the intel passed on by Clarke) and Let Something Happen But Not What Actually Transpired e.g., “Oh, what’s the worst that could happen?”

    They had no fucking idea. On purpose. Willful ignorance beforehand and then a sociopathic exploitation of the crisis afterwards. As in, “Holy Shit. We had no Idea. Alt least we can use it to bolster our Iraq invasion case!”

    It doesn’t take a conspiracy. Just a single minded obsession on the part of a small number of White House advisors and mentors. (Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rice, et al)

  306. smut clyde said,

    September 23, 2012 at 22:43

    Has Trutherism rendered any claim of culpability on the Bush administration “whackjob conspiracy theory?”

    Shirley that was part of The Plan…
    Didn’t Ari Fleischer emerge from his undisclosed hiding-place a few weeks ago — after documents were declassified that proved the Cheney administration to have been more culpable in willfully ignoring warnings than they had previously testified — to equate “Holding us responsible for incompetence” with “Truther whackjob conspiracist”?

  307. smut clyde said,

    September 23, 2012 at 22:47

    Heh. As a college freshman I was fond of saying “free will is a myth we believe because we have no choice otherwise.”

    Most publications in Evolutionary Psychology strike me as lazy untestable exercises in Just-so story-telling, but of course there are sound evolutionary reasons why I am predisposed to respond that way.

  308. tensor said,

    September 23, 2012 at 22:54

    We as humans always want nice conspiracies for things, because it’s easier than thinking a bunch of dimwit psychotics with a half-hatched plan were allowed to stumble into mass murder because the most powerful nation on Earth was being run by people who couldn’t tie their shoes without detailed instructions and an ego handjob.

    *Snif* ‘Tis a thing of beauty, it is! (Wipes tears from eyes.) Thanks, Cerb!

  309. Pere Ubu said,

    September 23, 2012 at 23:15

    I guess I chased the Truther away. My bad. I’m sure he’ll be much happier at the farm where he can run and play with all those other conspiracy folks.

    Sure, crazy shit happens. Sure, conspiracies occur. I sincerely think Kennedy was killed by people unhappy over the failure of the Bay Of Pigs invasion. But when you start making up new laws of physics to defend your viewpoint I think it’s time to wonder if maybe you’re on the wrong side of history.

    And when people out-and-out lie that windows blowing out from the air pressure of a collapsing building are actually demolition explosions, I’m outta there. Remember: Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat.

  310. smut clyde said,

    September 23, 2012 at 23:29

    IHOP = International House of Purpose

    To bring it around and close the circle, here’s James H. Fetzer — philosopher and founder of “Scholars for 9-11 Truth” — responding to a critic:

    Are you trying to tell us that the material of the building wasn’t there? If so, that makes no sense at all, but then you rarely do make sense.

    YES, I AM TELLING YOU THAT A COMPARABLE STACK OF PANCAKES WAS NOT THERE.

    I for one would pay good money to have Dan Lacey paint “The Collapse of the WTC as a Stack of Pancakes”.

    Professor Fetzer was not sure what did happen to those missing parts of the Twin Towers which (he argues) should have remained after the collapse as a 15-storey-high stack of pancakes. His erstwhile colleague Steven Jones espoused the “massive quantities of thermite” account, but this led to an acrimonious parting of the ways with Fetzer inclining instead towards Judy Woods’ “Directed Energy Weapon from space” theory. I myself rate for Alexei Sayle’s “Elephant positioned in the Loft by Incompetent Architect” explanation.

  311. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 23:33

    Most publications in Evolutionary Psychology strike me as lazy untestable exercises in Just-so story-telling, but of course there are sound evolutionary reasons why I am predisposed to respond that way.

    Sure, and there’s sound evolutionary reasons for me to say “Let’s you and him fight.” Darwin has less to say about why I would hold book on the fight but he would agree that we’d all be happier if Smyt went down in the fifth in ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY.

  312. Snorghagen said,

    September 23, 2012 at 23:37

    Professor Fetzer was not sure what did happen to those missing parts of the Twin Towers

    Perhaps that question could be answered if we knew exactly what messages Dunkin’ Donuts was sending to the Palestinians through Rachael Ray’s scarves.

  313. Will David said,

    September 23, 2012 at 23:39

    windows blowing out from the air pressure of a collapsing building

    Once more, seriously?

  314. El Manquécito said,

    September 23, 2012 at 23:47

    I myself rate for Alexei Sayle’s “Elephant positioned in the Loft by Incompetent Architect” explanation.

    From what we know of elephants, lofts and architects this seems likely enough. I tried that Directed Energy Weapon from Space explanation for the damage after a houseful of musicians weekend and it just didn’t float.

  315. Will David said,

    September 24, 2012 at 0:00

    Cause I can see where you’re going with that. The concrete floor detached itself entirely from all its connections to the building’s frame in one complete, uniform section. It fell down, compressing the air trapped between it and the next floor, which caused the windows to blow out. Then, when it hit the floor below, the kinetic energy contained therein caused it to turn to dust …

    Yep, works for me.

  316. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 0:06

    Whoo-dawgies.
    .

  317. Smut Clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 0:06

    Once more, seriously?

    Not a question one often encounters at S,N!

  318. Snorghagen said,

    September 24, 2012 at 0:10

    Without question, John Ashcroft was inside the Towers smashing out windows with a baseball bat.

  319. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 0:12

    Yes, but those planes would have been carrying tanks full of the stuff we use to make chemtrails. No telling how hot that stuff burns.

  320. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 0:54

    Yes, but those planes would have been carrying tanks full of the stuff we use to make chemtrails. No telling how hot that stuff burns.

    Har!
    .

  321. tensor said,

    September 24, 2012 at 1:35

    Ok, this is troll bait, and truther troll bait at that, but (a) I’m a mechanical engineer, and (b) this threat no longer has anything to do with Miss Five Feet (Around) Of Folly and her Wingnut Bellylanderacher, so here goes:

    The concrete floor detached itself entirely from all its connections to the building’s frame in one complete, uniform section. It fell down, compressing the air trapped between it and the next floor, which caused the windows to blow out. Then, when it hit the floor below, the kinetic energy contained therein caused it to turn to dust.

    That’s actually a pretty good explanation of what happened, due to the unusual design used for the towers’ structures. The Nova program, “Why The Towers Fell”, explains it in more detail. Ironically, the design of the towers caused them to contain their own collapses in a very effective manner — a standard skyscraper might have made much more of a mess as it died.

    And yes, a big slab of concrete falling 4-5 meters will have a METRIC FUCKTON of kinetic energy when it hits, and concrete is very brittle (which is why we need steel re-bar to use it in construction). Collapsing layers of brittle material would tend to raise a huge dust cloud. (What happened when the towers fell, again?)

  322. Pere Ubu said,

    September 24, 2012 at 1:38

    The concrete floor detached itself entirely from all its connections to the building’s frame in one complete, uniform section. It fell down, compressing the air trapped between it and the next floor, which caused the windows to blow out. Then, when it hit the floor below, the kinetic energy contained therein caused it to turn to dust …

    aaaaaaand your problem with that scenario is -?

    ‘Cause, see, the floors were attached to the outside of the building. So they fell straight down. I can’t see how that could be less possible than mystery explosives (micro-mini-thermite-nukes or whatever the fuck) installed in an active office tower by unknown people defying every principle of controlled demolition, derp derp.

    BTW, thermite – made of aluminum and iron. What are airplanes made of? What are office towers made of? Gosh, I can’t IMAGINE where those elements would have come from other than thermite, double derp derp.

  323. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 1:58

    I hate to bug you, Major, but I could I get a link or the recipe again?

    Sent to your email.

  324. Snorghagen said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:00

    Ironically, the design of the towers caused them to contain their own collapses in a very effective manner — a standard skyscraper might have made much more of a mess as it died.

    One example of a messier outcome: Ramzi Yousef – the guy who set off a bomb in the underground parking garage in 1993 – was trying to topple the North Tower sideways onto the South Tower so that they would both fall onto neighboring buildings. Such an event which would have been immensely worse than what happened in 2001. Yousef’s plan didn’t work, obviously.

  325. Snorghagen said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:06

    Me make mistake!

    ‘Such an event would have been…’ not ‘Such an event which would have been…’

  326. El Manquécito said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:06

    What are airplanes made of?

    Paper. Duh.

  327. N__B said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:11

    You know, as a structural engineer who (a) has extensively studied the collapses and (b) spent portions of September, October, and November 2001 knee deep in rubble and breathing poison, I could theoretically contribute to this discussion. But I won’t with a Truther present. As much as I despise the bigots, thieves, liars, morons, and general scum that make up the Repub party, that’s nothing compared to the white-hot hatred I have of Truthers.

    I’m out until it leaves or the topic changes.

  328. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:12

    What are airplanes made of?

    Mostly aluminum. They need to be as light as possible, so steel is kept to a minimum.

    Anything built since the 1980s will probably have some percentage of composites (carbon graphite). The 787 is almost entirely composites.

  329. tigris said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:12

    Well that’s just great, all this popcorn popped for NOTHING.

  330. Will David said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:14

    And yes, a big slab of concrete falling 4-5 meters will have a METRIC FUCKTON of kinetic energy when it hits, and concrete is very brittle (which is why we need steel re-bar to use it in construction). Collapsing layers of brittle material would tend to raise a huge dust cloud. (What happened when the towers fell, again?)

    Okay, you know I’m not very smart, so I’m going to have to get you to clarify this. The big slab of concrete fell. It hit another slab of concrete. The kinetic energy contained in the first slab of concrete was expended in the process of turning the falling slab into dust. Yet at the same time, that identical amount of kinetic energy was available to perform the work of completely dislodging the lower slab of concrete, causing it to fall, and so on.

    That’s about what you’re telling me, right?

  331. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:15

    Hi N_B.

    Can’t say I blame you. We had American and United pilots in my Air National Guard unit who knew the crews on the hijacked planes.

    My KC-135 unit was tasked to support the air defense patrols right after it happened. I spent a lot of hours flying orbits over New York and DC, plus deployed out to California to patrol over San Francisco.

  332. Will David said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:16

    And it’s true, you people don’t need this shit. I’m gone.

  333. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:19

    I’m gone.

    Oh, too bad. I was waiting for you tell me that the debris at the Pentagon didn’t come from a 757.

    I fly 757s. I do a walk-around inspection on one 2-3 times a night when I’m at work.

    I know what a piece off a fucking 757 looks like!!!!

  334. tensor said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:27

    The kinetic energy contained in the first slab of concrete was expended in the process of turning the falling slab into dust. Yet at the same time, that identical amount of kinetic energy was available to perform the work of completely dislodging the lower slab of concrete, causing it to fall, and so on.

    Wrong. The dislocation of the outer walls, caused when the weakened upper section of the tower began moving downwards, denied the floors support against gravity. The kinetic energy of each (thus falling) slab was used to turn it into dust. Try learning something about the subject before you begin lecturing others on it.

  335. Will David said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:28

    I was waiting for you tell me that the debris at the Pentagon didn’t come from a 757.</I

    Sorry to have made you angry, dude, but you know, but I wasn't planning on telling you anything of the sort.

  336. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:28

    Okay, you know I’m not very smart, so I’m going to have to get you to clarify this. The big slab of concrete fell. It hit another slab of concrete. The kinetic energy contained in the first slab of concrete was expended in the process of turning the falling slab into dust. Yet at the same time, that identical amount of kinetic energy was available to perform the work of completely dislodging the lower slab of concrete, causing it to fall, and so on.

    No. It’s more like a perfectly elastic collision. Picture yourself catching a very very heavy bowling ball dropped from very very high. While you are standing on a thin sheet of plywood stretched across a large square frame. You will take up some of the energy in your arm muscles – that’s the analog of some of the falling concrete and the impacted lower concrete turning to dust. A the same time, you plunge through the flimsy plywood, bowling ball and all.

  337. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:30

    Forgive me – I always try to explain things in ways that idiots might be able to understand in hopes of getting them to realize they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about and then questioning their nonsensical notions. A fool’s errand but I have to try. ONCE, mind you, JUST FUCKING ONCE.

  338. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:31

    I knew a beautiful asian woman who eas a 9-11 truther. She couldn’t explain too well, but it went down easy.

  339. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:32

    I’ll believe the conspiracy theories when I see security camera footage of Cheney and Rumsfeld dressed as janitors, planting charges in the WTC.

  340. Snorghagen said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:32

    you people don’t need this shit.

    He finally said something I completely agree with.

  341. Pere Ubu said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:39

    I see somebody learned their physics 101 at the feet of Alex Jones.

    Poor choice, my lad, poor poor choice.

  342. El Manquécito said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:39

    Well that’s just great, all this popcorn popped for NOTHING.

    No kidding. Had myself worked into an AK&US peak out and y’all are evermore on about concrete and jet fuel and idjits and stuff.

    Once more, airplanes are made of paper.

  343. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:41

    What’s the last thing to go through your mind in a plane crash?

    Sheet metal.

  344. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:44

    I had a navigator once who said that if we were about to crash he was going to take off his clothes and jump on the copilot’s lap “Just to give the accident investigators something to think about”.

  345. Snorghagen said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:46

    I see somebody learned their physics 101 at the feet of Alex Jones.

    Physics isn’t a science, physics is a conspiracy.

  346. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:48

    Physics has a liberal bias.

  347. tensor said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:51

    What’s the last thing to go through your mind in a plane crash?

    Who is the first person to the scene of an airplane crash?

    THE PILOT.

    (The test engineer is second, if one of us is aboard.)

  348. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 2:53

    Physics is THEFT!

  349. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 3:29

    Let us discuss the finer points of the Time Cube.
    .

  350. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    September 24, 2012 at 3:33

    TIME CUBE IS DENTISTRY IS THEFT IS PROPERTY!

  351. Alex Jones said,

    September 24, 2012 at 3:37

    Okay, physics fans, here’s one you might like.
    d = ½gt2*

    d is distance, g is gravity and t is time. The distance from the top of the South Tower is 1362 feet. The force of gravity is a constant, an acceleration of thirty-two feet per second, per second. So if you put those two values into the equation you get 1362 = ½ × 32 × t2. Turned around, this gives you t2 = 1362 ÷ 16 which is 85.125. And if t squared is 85.125 that means t—time—is exactly 9.22 seconds.

    Therefore, an object dropped from the top of the South Tower would take exactly 9.22 seconds to fall those 1362 feet and hit the ground below, provided there was no resistance of any kind. Further, the 9/11 Commission Report says specifically that “the South Tower collapsed in ten seconds”. And if you take “collapse” to mean the roof hit the ground after ten seconds, which was a perfectly valid interpretation, that means the hundreds of thousands of tons of steel and concrete underneath that roof offered no resistance.**

    Physic-y enough for you?

    * sorry, don’t know how to do a superscript in WP
    ** for you sticklers out there, by dint of the equation we find that it did in fact offer resistance—for a whole .78 of a second.

  352. tigris said,

    September 24, 2012 at 3:44

    Time Cube has 4 dental property thefts in same 24 hours!

  353. Pupienus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 3:45

    The test engineer is always second (at least) regardless of whether one is aboard.

  354. John Revolta said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:07

    Well, speak of the Devil……………………..

  355. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:17

    Well, speak of the Devil……………………..

    Beelzebublicans?
    .

  356. Teh Devil said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:34

    NUH uh. Leave me outta this.

  357. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:36

    Further, the 9/11 Commission Report says specifically that “the South Tower collapsed in ten seconds”.

    This particular statement is not physics-y, and probably shouldn’t be taken as such … I take it there’s more refinement re: collapse?

    And if you take “collapse” to mean the roof hit the ground after ten seconds, which was a perfectly valid interpretation

    I offer that if the passages in question were intended as physics-y, you would be left with no excuse for making interpretations, valid or otherwise, about the meaning of collapse: when it starts, ends, etc.

    But of course, I haven’t “read” the report, so back to you.

  358. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:42

    Huh. All I really wanted was to calculate the airspeed of a swallow.
    .

  359. John Revolta said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:43

    The Prince of Liars Truthers.

  360. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 5:50

    I’m the Prince of Pliers.
    .

  361. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 6:02

    All I really wanted was to calculate the airspeed of a swallow.

    Of course, but you need to establish whether or not it was an unladen swallow before you could determine how fast it would collapse.

  362. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 6:06

    Of course, but you need to establish whether or not it was an unladen swallow before you could determine how fast it would collapse.

    Well, a 5oz. bird isn’t going to carry a 1lb. coconut!
    .

  363. Alex Jones said,

    September 24, 2012 at 6:51

    I offer that if the passages in question were intended as physics-y, you would be left with no excuse for making interpretations, valid or otherwise, about the meaning of collapse: when it starts, ends, etc.

    “the elapsed times for the first exterior panels to strike the ground after the collapse initiated in each of the towers to be approximately 11 seconds for WTC 1 and approximately 9 seconds for WTC 2. These elapsed times were based on: (1) precise timing of the initiation of collapse from video evidence, and (2) ground motion (seismic) signals recorded at Palisades, N.Y.”
    The National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) October 5, 2007

    So, then, to recap: the mean time of collapse for WTC 1 and WTC 2, as stated by the U. S. Government, is 10 seconds. “Collapse” is an intransitive verb which means : 1. to fall or shrink together abruptly and completely; fall into a jumbled or flattened mass through the force of external pressure 2. to break down completely; disintegrate.

    Which, it seems to me, is pretty much what the statement “the South Tower collapsed in ten seconds” means.

  364. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 6:56

    Once the dictionary gets whipped out, it’s game over, man! Game over!
    .

  365. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 24, 2012 at 6:58

    Uh… could I interest you in a low-mileage Time Cube?
    .

  366. jgmurphy said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:03

    CELL PHONES AND BIG SCREEN TVS?

    O, for the days when the poor invoked Dickensian charms in their sooty hovels! How dare they not be selling their ten year old sisters in the street for a crust of bread. The arrogance!

  367. smut clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:06

    ** for you sticklers out there, by dint of the equation we find that it did in fact offer resistance—for a whole .78 of a second.

    Clearly there were powerful magnets concealed within the basements of the WTC buildings, which were turned on to attract the upper floors and accelerate them downwards faster than gravity would explain.

  368. Alex Jones said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:15

    Magnets! Now you’re talkin’ …

  369. bughunter said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:24

    Oh Noes!

    The Chinese have surpassed us in masturbatory technology!

    Check out the video at the bottom of the article.

    Honestly, I’m tempted to invest in whoever markets a coin-operated version…

  370. John Revolta said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:33

    masturbatory technology

    …………..aaaannnnd we’re back with the Truthers again……………

  371. John Revolta said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:36

    Oh wait, you were serious……………………..

    gee, my Christmas shopping just got a whole lot easier………………………….

  372. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 24, 2012 at 7:38

    I argued with some anti-choicer on Facebook today, only to find that SadlyNo! has been beset by Truthers.

    What’s next? Creationists on my Twitter feed? Anti-vaxxers on OKCupid?

  373. John Revolta said,

    September 24, 2012 at 8:02

    What’s next is they start hiring porn stars based on how sexy the tops of their heads are.

  374. another kiwi said,

    September 24, 2012 at 8:09

    Clearly there were powerful magnets concealed within the basements of the WTC buildings
    Well, Duh, how do you think they attracted the empty planes?

  375. smut clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 10:03

    What’s next is they start hiring porn stars based on how sexy the tops of their heads are.

    Baldness is not conventionally sexy but it does leave room for tattooing the sponsors’ logos.

  376. smut clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 11:37

    The Chinese have surpassed us in masturbatory technology!
    Check out the video at the bottom of the article.

    Hmm. The Daily Fail, you say?

  377. vacuumslayer said,

    September 24, 2012 at 14:35

    OT: Whale Chowder, looking at my blog’s search terms, it appears you have a very determined fan. I have no idea what to make of that. Or any of those other search terms, which are frankly, disturbing.

  378. N__B said,

    September 24, 2012 at 15:30

    When you get to “Whale Chowder hentai”, run away.

  379. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 16:13

    “[...] the elapsed times for the first exterior panels to strike the ground after the collapse initiated in each of the towers to be approximately 11 seconds for WTC 1 and approximately 9 seconds for WTC 2. These elapsed times were based on: (1) precise timing of the initiation of collapse from video evidence, and (2) ground motion (seismic) signals recorded at Palisades, N.Y.”

    In other words, after the initiation of collapse, it took 9 or 11 seconds for the first exterior panels to strike the ground. What about the last panels? The entirety of the structure? …

    (1) References only the initiation of collapse, not its completion. I could speculate as to why video evidence would be less conclusive re: completion.

    (2) A full time-span of seismic evidence would exist, but let me suggest that this clause refers again to the “elapsed times for the first exterior panels to strike the ground.” If the topic has changed to, say, the last collapse-related tremor, let them say so; but perhaps this would not properly mark the completion of the collapse.

    To summarize: your dictionary definitions for “collapse” emphasize completeness. Your NIST quote references a specific juncture in the collapse process. It cannot be read as a “the South Tower collapsed in ten seconds.” Perhaps you’ve got a better quote?

  380. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:02

    N__B said,
    September 24, 2012 at 15:30

    When you get to “Whale Chowder hentai”, run away.

    Ha! No kidding.

  381. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:40

    OT: Whale Chowder, looking at my blog’s search terms, it appears you have a very determined fan.

    There’s a topic?

    ANYway, the searcher clearly does not know me. If they did, they’d know they just have to call 555-7399, that’s 555-SEXY.

    Also, and so forth, two searches is “determined?”

  382. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:42

    How come there are so many searches for hentai? Further proof, if you ask me, that there is in fact no god.

  383. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:43

    approximately

    Oooooh, that’s scienterrific! Very physicsy indeed.

  384. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:46

    How come there are so many searches for hentai? Further proof, if you ask me, that there is in fact no god.

    Wrogn! It wasn’t Atheistzilla that stomped Tokyo, you know.

  385. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:53

    It wasn’t Atheistzilla that stomped Tokyo, you know.

    Wait, does that make Mothra yer mom?

  386. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 17:59

    Speaking of searches,, as I was typing “is it down” into the google bar just now, I got as far as “is” when google suggested, in third place, “is Tom Cruise gay”

  387. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:06

    We got us a truther troll today, huh? Awesome.

  388. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:11

    It’s been eleven years. If they were serious about that shit, they could have spent four years getting a college degree in structural engineering, and seven years apologizing to the rest of us for being particularly offensive, insensitive dumbasses.

  389. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:26

    If they were serious about that shit, they could have spent four years getting a college degree in structural engineering…

    Ah. I see a tiny flaw in your plan. The truthers I’ve dealt with do not have the cranial capacity to get a degree in structural enginnering, besides which what capacity is available is consumed by arrogance and conspiracy theories.

    Otherwise, excellent idea.

  390. kg said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:31

    Well, ElM. I would have dropped this one

  391. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:35

    Ah. I see a tiny flaw in your plan. The truthers I’ve dealt with do not have the cranial capacity to get a degree in structural enginnering, besides which what capacity is available is consumed by arrogance and conspiracy theories.

    I work with someone who is smart enough, but yeah… conspiracy theories are easier. If they wanted to, I’m sure it would be do-able (especially if the truthers pooled their resources) to make a pair of model WTC towers at 1/100th scale, and it would show them the same thing. Kerosene burns hot. Iron gets soft when it gets hot, and concrete cracks, windows blow out and shit falls down.

  392. Pere Ubu said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:52

    It’s also lying (at best) to pretend that the roof is all that fell, and then whine about it not being enough kinetic energy to blah blah thousands of tons blah blah. “Roof” in this case = several upper floors, which impacted lower floors and knocked them loose, therefore the energy was the “roof” PLUS all the collapsing floors. Which sped things up a bit, I’d guess.

    Notice also the clever use of expert testimony to bolster their case, while ignoring whatever expert testimony fails to support it (such as CDI saying there is no way a building fixed for demolition could possibly be used by the public). A bit mendacious as well, Chucko.

  393. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:54

    just went back to the bilious post that spawned this thread to do a little monday morning mango hunting (always seems to get me in a better frame of mind for the work week ahead) and look who made an appearance over there:

    17. Gary Ruppert
    The fact is, the real solution for poverty in USA is not to coddle them, but cut them off. They will get jobs and back to work fast if no more gravy train is making them lazy, also take away there cable tv. They are dependents who are useless eaters to USA. Also there health care is a waste, shy spend a dime on people who are a drain on Freedom? Let them die, starve, whatever — the real survivers will strive themselfs out, the producers will be unburdend and best of all liberalis will be descredeted forever.

    also, kudos to kiwi and jgmurphy…

    i’m still highly disgusted and disturbed by shaidle’s jack the ripper comment…really, what kind of mind can even HAVE that thought let alone write it down and stand by it…she makes coulter look warm and fuzzeh…

  394. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 18:56

    It’s also lying (at best) to pretend that the roof is all that fell

    so…some people actually believe this? uh…i have a less than rudimentary knowledge of architecture, physics, etc…but even i know that that couldn’t possibly be true…wth?

  395. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:01

    Ah. I see a tiny flaw in your plan. The truthers I’ve dealt with do not have the cranial capacity to get a degree in structural enginnering, besides which what capacity is available is consumed by arrogance and conspiracy theories.

    Oops. That was actually me test firing my orbital death-ray. The windage must have been off just a tad. Sorry for the inconvenience. Those responsible have been tossed into the octo-shark tank.

  396. Pere Ubu said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:04

    so…some people actually believe this? uh…i have a less than rudimentary knowledge of architecture, physics, etc…but even i know that that couldn’t possibly be true…wth?

    “Alex Jones”, upthread, at 9/24 3:47:

    “And if you take “collapse” to mean the roof hit the ground after ten seconds, which was a perfectly valid interpretation, that means the hundreds of thousands of tons of steel and concrete underneath that roof offered no resistance.”

  397. jim, having my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flam3s said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:06

    Who will finally muster up the courage to speak out about the ongoing outbreak of EPIC TROLL-ON-TROLL ULTRAVIOLENCE?

  398. jim, having my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flam3s said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:08

    If we outlaw orbital death-rays, only outlaws will have orbital death-rays.

    cryingeagle.gif

  399. kg said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:19

    Thanks for that SHAMEful link, “jim”. I now know how I’ll be spending my evening.

  400. bughunter said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:20

    The Chinese have surpassed us in masturbatory technology!

    Perhaps I was too hasty.

  401. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:27

    Honestly, I’m tempted to invest in whoever markets a coin-operated version…

    Y’know, combine that with a coin-operated peep show and you could have a MONSTER money maker.

    Ahem. If you were so inclined, that is.

  402. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 19:31

    How come there are so many searches for hentai? Further proof, if you ask me, that there is in fact no god.

    It’s proof of Google, and that’s enough.

  403. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:04

    So, where does one get an orbital death-ray anyways? AFAF.

  404. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:10

    So, where does one get an orbital death-ray anyways? AFAF.

    i was laboring under the impression of Anything For A Feel…i now see that’s not what you meant…at least i hope…

  405. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:13

    Tried Home Depot?

  406. N__B said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:18

    So, where does one get an orbital death-ray anyways? AFAF.

    First, remove an eye. Second, install a death ray.

    VOILA!

  407. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:20

    So, where does one get an orbital death-ray anyways? AFAF.

    DeviantArt.

  408. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:40

    Speaking of crashing in a plume of dust. https://data.intrade.com/graphing/jsp/closingPricesForm.jsp?contractId=743475&tradeURL=https://www.intrade.com

  409. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:42

    Feck. Should have said collapsing in a cloud of dust on 9/11. Set the chart for “last month” and gaze in awe.

  410. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:45

    Anything For A Feel

    I find your ideas fascinating. Do you think you’d have any furrther information? Perhaps a website or newsletter?

  411. tigris said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:51

    Anything For A Feel

    I find your ideas fascinating. Do you think you’d have any furrther information? Perhaps a website or newsletter?

    Iphone device?

  412. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:52

    Iphone device?

    Kiosk?

  413. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 20:53

    Major Kong, as a pilot, do you have anything to say about Romney’s idea here:

    “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And [Ann] was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound.”

  414. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:00

    I had to look that up.

  415. tigris said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:04

    So he wants to replace the emergency masks with a window crank?

  416. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:06

    The windows don’t open on a jet for any number of reasons:

    1. It would compromise the structural integrity of the fuselage.
    2. Pressurization. Jets spend the vast majority of their time about 10,000′

    Smoke/fire in the aircraft is one of the worst things that can happen. UPS lost a 747 out of Dubai a while back for just that reason. The smoke got so thick in the cockpit that the pilots couldn’t even see the instrument panel. Our oxygen masks have smoke goggles built in, but if the smoke is really bad that might not even help.

    If we were below 10,000′ I might actually consider depressurizing the plane and opening the cockpit side windows.

    The most important thing is to land ASAP. You might has as little as 15 minutes before the fire burns through something you need to fly the plane with.

    I had an electrical fire once in the KC-135, but we were in the traffic pattern practicing landings so I just landed it, shut everything down and had the fire trucks meet us.

  417. VCarlson said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:15

    Really? Is that a real thing? Rmoney said he didn’t know why the windows don’t open on an airplane? Wow. OK. I’d believed before that he was, um, not very empathetic, lacking curiosity and imagination, but not noticeably stupid. This makes him stupid in general and profoundly stupid about people, or he’d KNOW that even if one could make an openable window in an airplane that stayed sealed at cruising altitude, they wouldn’t because some jackass WOULD open the window. Probably named Rmoney, or possibly Rayn.

  418. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:41

    You actually can’t even open the doors on a commercial aircraft in flight, because the pressure differential will hold them shut.

  419. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:45

    Speaking of doors that open in flight, I’m kinda surprised there isn’t a commercial version of the c-130 or c-17. I would think there would be a market for cargo planes that can land anywhere, especially for mining and agriculture.

  420. smut clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:46

    I have often wondered the same thing about submarines.

  421. Pere Ubu said,

    September 24, 2012 at 21:47

    Pressurization, pfaugh! Why not just require anyone who wants to ride on one a’ them ERR-I-O-PLANES to purchase a bottle of oxygen for their personal use first? Show a little personal responsibility!

    Can’t afford your own air, shouldn’t be gadding about the country on free taxpayer air.

  422. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:00

    I didn’t realize that having openable plane windows “would compromise the structural integrity of the fuselage.” Interesting. Cabin pressure seemed reason enough.

    Someone should explain to Romney that plane windows are built to open, but they’re painted shut. Layers and layers of airliner paint. Blame the plane-painters union. But then Romney may have never spent time in the kind of building that ends up with windows painted shut. I sure have, and what’s more, I have to open and close my own windows.

  423. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:00

    I have often wondered the same thing about submarines.

    Keeps submariners out, silly.

  424. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:04

    because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem

    Why can’t they make convertible planes? I don’t know why they have to be closed up. Seems like that would make flying way more fun. No smoke problems, either.

  425. smut clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:05

    Why not just require anyone who wants to ride on one a’ them ERR-I-O-PLANES to purchase a bottle of oxygen for their personal use first?

    That used to be the system in New Zealand until CERTAIN PEOPLE spoiled it for the rest of the class by boarding with cylinders of nitrous oxide.

  426. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:05

    [glancing around nervously]

    (…are the truthers gone? Is it safe…?)
    [/glancing]

  427. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:05

    Helmut,

    There is a civilian version of the C-130 called the L-100. They never sold very many. I think it’s too much of a niche market as it would be fairly expensive to operate.

    Likewise a C-17 would be too expensive for most civilian applications. To put it simply, the design features that optimize the plane for its military mission would be mostly excess weight and fuel-burn for a civilian application. You’d be burning a lot of gas to push that fat fuselage through the air plus all the weight of the massive landing gear.

  428. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:06

    I have often wondered the same thing about submarines.

    No opening windows, no screen doors.

  429. Chris said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:07

    Someone should explain to Romney that plane windows are built to open, but they’re painted shut.

    Maybe Romney should pause and think someday that despite his formidable intelligence and vast superiority over the Common Man, maybe, just maybe, the fact that he can’t think of a reason for something doesn’t mean there isn’t, in fact, a reason, one that smarter people than him have taken into account.

    It’s just a thought.

  430. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:09

    Why can’t they make convertible planes? I don’t know why they have to be closed up. Seems like that would make flying way more fun. No smoke problems, either.

    Why not? The guys at TopGear did it with a train. And planes are totally just trains up in the air, right?

  431. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:11

    You should be able to drive your convertible onto the deck of the plane, driving off over your destination, plummeting down until a parachute slows your fall just over a neatly curved ramp where you squeal your tires and ditch the chute to drive up to the cocktail bar there and order a vodka martini.

    Also lasers.

  432. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:11

    I find your ideas fascinating. Do you think you’d have any furrther information? Perhaps a website or newsletter?

    i’m just glad you don’t think i’m a perv or something…

  433. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:13

    I didn’t realize that having openable plane windows “would compromise the structural integrity of the fuselage.” Interesting. Cabin pressure seemed reason enough.

    The fuselage of a commercial jet is almost like a balloon. Air is forced into it from the air conditioning/pressurization system – and then outflow valves let just enough out to keep the pressure differential around 8 psi. There are various safety valves that prevent over-pressurization (kaboom) or negative pressurization (squish).

    We actually land with the aircraft slightly pressurized because this actually makes it stronger.

  434. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:15

    “And then, because of no other reason than we thought it might be quite nice, we dump 1500 ping pong balls in.”

    Includes bonus British accent and a delightful lack of proper safety equipment that would be required in an American school.

  435. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:18

    We actually land with the aircraft slightly pressurized because this actually makes it stronger.

    There you have it folks: Balloon animals and the Boeing 737: more similar than you thought.

    Next week we will compare opium dreams and the Paul Ryan budget (Hint: opium dreams are more practical)

  436. Pupienus said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:23

    For more interesting facts about airplane windows go read about the windows on the DeHavilland Comet.

  437. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:26

    “We actually land with the aircraft slightly pressurized because this actually makes it stronger.”

    You can test this principle using your own body. Take a deep breath, hold it, and jump off the roof. The increased structural integrity of your pressurized body should protect you from harm.

  438. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:26

    Why can’t they make convertible planes?

    You know, they tried that. Tiny flaw in the system.

  439. El Manquécito said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:27

    We actually literally land with the aircraft slightly pressurized because this actually literally makes it stronger.

    Fzzd for moar SN fervor.

  440. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:28

    For more interesting facts about airplane windows go read about the windows on the DeHavilland Comet.

    Were they the original rectangular windows that caused the shells to crack?

  441. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:31

    @ Sub

    HELL YEAH! Don’t forget sleep with every single cute girl you meet. How the HELL does he do that? Is the the accent? Is it the suits? The Aston Martin? OR IS IT RUFIES?

  442. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:32

    Were they the original rectangular windows that caused the shells to crack?

    To their credit, once DeHavilland figured out what went wrong with the Comet, they shared their data with Boeing and Douglas so the same thing wouldn’t happen with a 707 or DC-8.

  443. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:34

    Do you REALLY have to a pilot or engineer to know what would happen if you opened a window at 500 knots, 35,000 feet off the ground? REALLY? It’s not the pleasant breeze you get in your car on a nice country drive…

  444. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:34

    It’s literally not. Literally.

  445. Momentarily Anonymous-er said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:35

    Haha this woman who works for me just complained that her high school (she’s old) had its name changed to Barack Obama High. Says it used to be called Custer, as in Custer’s last stand. Which I guess was awesome, and now she’s “mad.”

  446. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:37

    Obama’s killed a lotta guys too. No last stand yet, so it MUST be better.

  447. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:41

    most interesting story of the day…

  448. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:44

    Haha this woman who works for me just complained that her high school (she’s old) had its name changed to Barack Obama High. Says it used to be called Custer, as in Custer’s last stand. Which I guess was awesome, and now she’s “mad.”

    i bet she’s also ‘mad’ that you can’t get away with saying nig*clang!* any longer either…

  449. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:47

    Says it used to be called Custer, as in Custer’s last stand. Which I guess was awesome

    also, too…minnesota has lots of ‘ramsey’ and ‘sibley’ place names…they were arguably two of the douchiest douche bags in re: interpersonal relationships with native americans…i doubt that they will EVER be changed, but they certainly don’t deserve to be celebrated…

  450. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:51

    You actually can’t even open the doors on a commercial aircraft in flight, because the pressure differential will hold them shut.

    once again, i am not a rocket scientist, but even i know that…and that even if you could get them open, once you did, everything inside would go all ka-flooey on ya…

    gads…the gop is full of maroons…

  451. Whale Chowder said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:52

    most interesting story of the day…

    (I’ve already posted this elsewhere but…) I thought we could dust off our hands and ignore Foxconn after they put up the suicide nets.

  452. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:55

    I thought we could dust off our hands and ignore Foxconn after they put up the suicide nets.

    i will refrain from speculating as to why ‘fox’ is in their name…

  453. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 22:58

    Nig*clang!* reminds me of Michael Richards’ fall from grace post-Seinfeld, which reminds me of Heckler. The wife and I watched it Sunday, and it was often fun, and provoked alot of discussion of hecklers and critics and how to respond. Jamie Kennedy comes across as an unsympathetic figure — he seems to be dim, and only marginally funny or talented — but his documentary was worth NetFlixing.

  454. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:02

    Says it used to be called Custer, as in Custer’s last stand. Which I guess was awesome, and now she’s “mad.”

    Why did they name it after the LOSER? I’d rather go to Sitting Bull High School.

  455. smut clyde said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:05

    even if you could get them open, once you did, everything inside would go all ka-flooey on ya…

    Imma guessing that the most popular Mythbusters episode on Youtuber at the moment is the one where they decompress a plane fuselage to test the ka-flooefication.

  456. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:10

    … And one of the things Heckler taught me is that Jamie Kennedy (who I’d never heard of before) really despises anonymous disses on the internet. Tough luck!

  457. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:11

    I’d rather go to Sitting Bull High School.

    indeed…we try to get out to his monument when we go out to the west river so hubbkf and his brother can shoot their guns* at a bunch of hens…for me, it ranks right up there as one of the coolest places on earth…

    *no, not those guns…well, okay sometimes i let hubbkf shoot his gun…

  458. Major Kong said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:14

    What was Custer High School’s mascot? The Fighting Pincushions?

  459. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:15

    Jamie Kennedy (who I’d never heard of before)

    not only do i find him not funneh, there’s this:

    you see a harder side of Jamie Kennedy the actor as a street hustler who attacks Greg Kinnear in the Oscar-nominated ‘As Good As It Gets.’

  460. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:16

    … And one of the things Heckler taught me is that Jamie Kennedy (who I’d never heard of before) really despises anonymous disses on the internet. Tough luck!

    Also that maybe Jamie Kennedy should try comedy out.

  461. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:20

    What was Custer High School’s mascot? The Fighting Pincushions?

    reputable sources say it was actually a greasy stain…

  462. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:23

    Internet:

    55% porn
    35% posting of grossly uninformed opinions and bullshit (anonymous disses)
    5% LOLCATS, memes, YouTube
    4% Amazon and iTunes
    1% Other

  463. tsam said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:39

    This is awesome, and not just because tighty righties are going to have an utter meltdown over it.

  464. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:39

    20 “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
    21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, get many possessions and give not to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
    22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had no wealth.

  465. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:41

    not just because tighty righties are going to have an utter meltdown

    http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/328378/mandated-end-innocence-kathryn-jean-lopez

  466. Golem Heart said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:43

    Heckler also showed me that alot of show biz types are at least ten years behind in their understanding of the internet. The anonymity and lack of gatekeeping blow their minds. At least you can see a heckler and respond, not like these basement-dwelling nobodies with their pseudonyms! But what about critics with bylines and credentials? They’re the lowest, too, unless they’re handing out praise …

    It seems to me that really sharp, funny people should love the internet as it is. There are more opportunities than could possibly be seized.

  467. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:45

    At least you can see a heckler and respond

    You might be able to do that if you weren’t Jamie Kennedy.

  468. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:46

    This is awesome, and not just because tighty righties are going to have an utter meltdown over it.

    How sad we’ve become when a display of simple common sense is awesome.

  469. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:49

    From K-Lo’s…article or essay or whatever that thing is:

    “If we had the courage, we’d challenge our preconceived ideas about teenage behavior and sexuality and would go back to the drawing board,” Dr. Anne Nolte of the Gianna Center told the Post

    Yeah! Whose bright idea was it to give them uteruses in the first place?

  470. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:50

    55 99% porn
    35 0.5% posting of grossly uninformed opinions and bullshit (anonymous disses)
    5 0.3% LOLCATS, memes, YouTube
    4 0.1% Amazon and iTunes
    1 0.1% Other

    Fixxorified.

  471. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:54

    jeez, she’s a dolt:

    what the nyt said:

    If a parent opted out of the city-run contraception program, his or her child could still go to any community clinic or a school-based health center operated by a private organization and receive the contraception.

    what k-lo says:

    Does attending a public school in New York mean that families have no rights over their children, and on the most intimate health and moral matters? It certainly appears that way. For even if parents opt out, the girl will be sent to Planned Parenthood without their knowledge, it is pretty clear from the Times write-up.

    no, it’s not clear, k-lo because where does the article say the girl will be sent to planned parenthood?

    and also, wtf does this sentence mean?

    It’s a challenge, alright. But one we owe children to rise to — and liberty itself.

    you know, each time i click on ‘the corner’ and read it’s tagline: ‘the one and only’ i always silently thank the deities for that…

  472. bbkf said,

    September 24, 2012 at 23:58

    “If we had the courage, we’d challenge our preconceived ideas about teenage behavior and sexuality and would go back to the drawing board,” Dr. Anne Nolte of the Gianna Center told the Post

    and also too yeah, i’m sure it would be expedited and in the meantime, there wouldn’t be too many conceptions…and really? ‘preconceived ideas?’ because nobody remembers what was on our minds when we were teenagers?

  473. N__B said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:01

    Inconceivable!

  474. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:01

    because nobody remembers what was on our minds when we were teenagers?

    Does that change? Asking for a friend.

  475. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:03

    Mandated END OF INNOCENCE!!!

    Here we are discussing the same old conservative trope. Access to birth control = promiscuity among teenagers. So, take away the birth control and nobody gets pregnant.

    Derp.

  476. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:04

    Preconceivable!

  477. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:04

    no, it’s not clear, k-lo because where does the article say the girl will be sent to planned parenthood?

    k-lo: “Conditional? You made that word up.”

  478. jim, having my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flam3s said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:06

    SHIT JUST GOT CROWDSOURCED

  479. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:15

    Does that change? Asking for a friend Anything for a feel.

    fizzled.

  480. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:21

    fizzled.*

    In fact, doubly fizzled because that’s exactly the way I was as a teenager.

    * yes I am quoting myself. If only there was a way to go back and add to, or change, one’s post. Technology!

  481. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:25

    SHIT JUST GOT CROWDSOURCED

    Awesome.

  482. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:26

    Does that change? Asking for a friend Anything for a feel.

    smart ass…i b’lieve that i was misled on afaf by one dkw…

  483. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:33

    Oh good bog. If you believe anything that comes from D-KW’s keyboard you are well on the way to being yet another notch on his “mother”board.

  484. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:36

    Oh good bog. If you believe anything that comes from D-KW’s keyboard you are well on the way to being yet another notch on his “mother”board.

    *sob* i feel as tho the end of my innocence has been mandated!

  485. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:37

    Oh good bog. If you believe anything that comes from D-KW’s keyboard you are well on the way to being yet another notch on his “mother”board.

    But his keyboard often produces some great PENIS.

  486. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:44

    But his keyboard often produces some great PENIS.

    also a fair amount of POOP…

  487. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:44

    Imagine some of the hilarious shit you’d find on an American crowdsourcing website…

  488. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:45

    When I was a teenager I was always up for a strong cup of tea and spicy Bible passage.

  489. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:49

    Imagine some of the hilarious shit you’d find on an American crowdsourcing website…

    i can only guess that i would be led to commit suicide or mass homicide in short order…reading comments online has already completely shattered my faith in humanity, so something like this would clearly put me over the edge…

  490. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:50

    The bastard is doubling (or is it tripling?) down. What a disgustingly cynical, amoral worm he is.

  491. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 25, 2012 at 0:55

    apparently unaware that, out here in Americaland, the military is an honored profession that citizens compete to enter

    Wait, what? Ohhhh, I see… VDARE. Uhhuh, ok.

    Where I come from the “competition” is pretty much “Well, I sure fucked up again, guess all I got left s’far s’options go is to join the gawdam army. Gawdamit.”

  492. bughunter said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:04

    also, too…minnesota has lots of ‘ramsey’ and ‘sibley’ place names

    No Shite? I have a maternal GGGP named Sibley, heir to a plantation in S. Carolina but those damn Yankees freed the negroes before he inherited the estate. His indignation at this outcome was still legendary among his grandchildren as late as the 1960′s. He was sorely pissed that he no longer could take his rightful place as a slave-owning, n*gger-beating, negress-raping, pickaninny-spawning asshole like the rest of my maternal ancestors.

    I’m sure they’d not be so happy to discover that their great, great granddaughter decided she liked black men better…

  493. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:05

    something called the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce

    ’cause you know those dusky furriners know nothing about commerce.

    Shorter VDARE: “OMFG, wogs might vote for our Great White Leader!”

  494. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:06

    e.g. unemployment

    i was unaware that e.g.s were suffering an unemployment crisis…oh, the humanity!

  495. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:09

    Never put all your e.g.s in one basket.

  496. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:09

    Under the Romney administration, salsa will be considered a vegetable in school lunches, Cheech Marin will be nominated as Secretary of Health and Human Services, and every American family will be provided with a tire-less car they can place up on blocks in their front yard.

    ‘Cause stereotypes, y’know.

  497. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:09

    Why haven’t you heard that Romney’s problem … with whites a.k.a. Americans

    Why haven’t you heard that not having a penis is no reason to be hating on Hispanics?

  498. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:12

    Where I come from the “competition” is pretty much “Well, I sure fucked up again, guess all I got left s’far s’options go is to join the gawdam army. Gawdamit.”

    Well, when I was in the Army, I was LITERALLY swimming in Southerners. The accents were so thick I LITERALLY thought they were speaking another language until I learned that they were just functionally illiterate and mentally deficient. I think there might be competition to get military positions there–competition with the ASVAB test.

  499. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:14

    the military is an honored profession

    That’s right! In fact most young families in the military need food stamps and other aid to feed their children. We honor the goddamn living shit out of those people!

  500. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:14

    Obviously, as America’s post-1965 immigration disaster continues to unfold, the share of the white vote required by the GOP (or “Generic American Party,” as VDARE.com thinks of it) increases.

    There is just NO WAY to get votes out of those fag-loving abortion-loving atheist immigrants.

  501. tsam said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:16

    But “American” starts with an “A”, which is not even an “O”.

  502. N__B said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:17

    But “American” starts with an “A”

    I call bullshit. America starts with a USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

  503. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:26

    It never occurs to vdare that perhaps whites are just getting less douchey.

    Plus, Repubs have always been good at putting a positive spin on their atrocious agendas but they’re being more and more nakedly awful and contemptuous of the vast majority of the country. There’s going to come a time when the 27% really is the only percentage they can get.

  504. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:32

    There’s going to come a time when the 27% really is the only percentage they can get.

    I hope I live to see that day.

  505. Pere Ubu said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:41

    Wait, isn’t VDARE the type of clodhoppers who’re always getting accused of being racist, and they’re always all “NUH-UH, we aren’t racist, we’re just concerned citizens!” and yet here they are, being racist right there in the open with “until 1965, white = American!”.

    Guys? If you don’t want us calling you racist assholes, stop BEING RACIST ASSHOLES.

  506. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:42

    From the K-Lo thread, a hopefully sarcastic comment:

    fondatori 5 hours ago

    Sometimes I can’t wait for the Muslims to take over. Faster Please!

  507. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:49

    Pere, I’m pretty sure you’re the real racist.

  508. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:57

    From the K-Lo thread, a hopefully sarcastic comment:

    bobdammit! my ‘puter wouldn’t let me look at comments today…i’ve got to go there and see if this one will…you know how i love the mangoes…

  509. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:58

    It never occurs to vdare that perhaps whites are just getting less douchey.

    Plus, Repubs have always been good at putting a positive spin on their atrocious agendas but they’re being more and more nakedly awful and contemptuous of the vast majority of the country. There’s going to come a time when the 27% really is the only percentage they can get.

    vs channels Robert Reich.

    http://robertreich.org/

  510. Golem Heart said,

    September 25, 2012 at 1:59

    … apparently unaware that, out here in Americaland, the military is an honored profession that citizens compete to enter … VDARE

    Sounds like we could do away with alot of the perks, for the white soldiers at least. How about a reverse GI Bill — join the military and going to college will cost you more. Drop their medical coverage, make them buy a private policy. After all, nothing could stem the tide of white enlistees in this great country. Like teachers, they’d fight for the sheer patriotic joy of it.

  511. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:09

    out here in Americaland, the military is an honored profession that citizens compete to enter

    Then if they are disgraced within the military they revert to the status of Gladiator and must begin the process again.
    I SAW IT IN A DOCUMENTARY.

  512. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:18

    Pere, I’m pretty sure you’re the real racist.

    and he’s got a funny soundin’ name…i’m pret near shure he’s a furriner…

  513. smut clyde said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:22

    The Mittens doctrine:

    “When the president was speaking about bumps in the road he was talking about the developments in the Middle East and that [...] includes Pakistan being in commotion,”

    Apparently Pakistan is part of the Middle East now.

  514. Golem Heart said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:32

    Apparently Pakistan is part of the Middle East now.

    Movement conservatives would be suspicious of you for knowing any different. Talk of geography offers aid and comfort to the enemy, like when people said Iraq wasn’t behind 9/11.

  515. Major Kong said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:32

    out here in Americaland, the military is an honored profession that citizens compete to enter

    I’ll show you my DD Form 214 if you show me yours.

  516. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:40

    the military is an honored profession

    And we have the Purple Heart Band-Aids to prove it!

  517. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 25, 2012 at 2:54

    How about a Siamese anime critter?
    .

  518. bughunter said,

    September 25, 2012 at 3:02

    Apparently Pakistan is part of the Middle East now.

    To the regressive mind, ‘Middle East’ is synonymous with ‘Muslim World,’ despite the fact that many overwhelmingly Muslim territories are in Africa, SE Asia, South Asia, and even Europe.

    Even when they intellectually know better, conservatives’ Reptilian Brains take over (it does that a lot, almost by definition) and they think ‘SWARTHY MUSLIM OTHERS WHOM I HATE!’ when they hear the words ‘Middle East.’

  519. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 3:09

    “When the president was speaking about bumps in the road

    he also said he couldn’t imagine referring to chris stevens’ death as a bump in the road…prolly cuz he was to busy thinking about how to use it for political gain…

  520. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 3:33

    I’ll show you my DD Form 214 if you show me yours.

    Your Dunkin Donuts requires forms?!!

  521. Alex Jones said,

    September 25, 2012 at 3:35

    @ Golem Heart (everyone else, please ignore the “Truther”)

    NIST, again: “…significant portions of the cores of both buildings (roughly 60 stories of WTC 1 and 40 stories of WTC 2) are known to have stood 15 to 25 seconds after collapse initiation before they, too, began to collapse. Neither the duration of the seismic records nor video evidence . . . are reliable indicators of the total time it took for each building to collapse completely.”

    So of course, in the space of two passages NIST manages to use the word ‘collapse’ to mean two quite different things. And I wasn’t going to bother with this update, because the topic obviously offends so many people so very very deeply. But if I recall, you’re the dude who loves Beefheart, and you’re civil, so I thought I might try and wrap this up.
    The point I have been trying to make is that, if the ‘collapse’ is represented as a large chunk of mass—the top of the building—becoming dislodged and falling through the rest of the building, thus causing all its component parts to disintegrate, that process, to all intents and purposes, is complete within a mean time of ten seconds. Which, according to the math, happened in a time that brooks no resistance from the building below.

    But the reality is quite different, insofar as two people watching a video representation of the event will in fact see two distinctly different processes: one will see something resembling the above, the other will see a building which, rather than “collapsing”, turns itself into a cloud of dust big enough to cover all of lower Manhattan, in a time of around ten seconds.

    It’s pretty obvious which one I see. But one thing I do know is that never the twain shall meet: my apple ain’t never going to be your orange. So, I’ma leave it be now …

  522. Cerberus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 3:40

    Substance-

    Free shorter K-Load:

    “Why can’t we just preserve the ignorance of children forever? Teen pregnancy, eventual adulthood, productive members of society? What are they? All I’m hearing is liberal brainwashing slut-training for the abortion factories.”

  523. Major Kong said,

    September 25, 2012 at 3:58

    Your Dunkin Donuts requires forms?!!

    You probably knew this already, but just in case, the Department of Defense Form 214 is what you get after an active duty tour. It lists your assignments, awards and decorations etc.

  524. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:03

    Why can’t we just preserve the ignorance of children forever?

    Virgins aren’t allowed in the FEMA camps.

  525. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:09

    I knew it was a military thingy, but that was the less naughty of the two responses I immediately thought of. Sorry for being incorrigibly silly. It’s a sickness.

  526. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:10

    Hrnh. I will try some of your replicated, burned bird meat.
    .

  527. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:12

    . It lists your assignments, awards and decorations etc.

    oh, sure…since the repeal of dadt, now our patriot troops are forced to decorate?!?!? surely it is only a matter of time before gay marriage and abortions are forced down our throats…

  528. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:25

    now our patriot troops are forced to decorate?

    Haven’t you seen all the flair they wear on the battlefield?

  529. Golem Heart said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:35

    Thanks for providing me another NIST quote, Alex. It certainly is relevant to the concerns I raised earlier. I am not one to research these matters myself, in part because I make no claims about the towers going down. I defer to expert opinion in this case, without paying much attention to it, and because I am entirely unqualified to evaluate it. What I can do is parse texts placed before me, and I saw in your comments an opportunity to do so, without wading too far from my rightful shores, so to speak.

    I think the distinctions we’ve made are interesting ones. I don’t think we’ve furthered, say, the notion that 9/11 was an inside job involving explosives placed before the planes’ impacts. Now, I’m not always civil (I’m not always sober), but I’m glad we’re not at loggerheads. I’m far too busy and stressed to get worked up tonight.

    In spite of my doubts about humankind, I choose to behave as if the truth can win out, and so I find little to fear in opposing views which seem earnestly held and argued in good faith. Conversely, when inquiry into 9/11 is used in a cynical manner to advance some other goal, I’m sorely vexed. And it is often so used, I’m afraid.

  530. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:52

    Haven’t you seen all the flair they wear on the battlefield?

    i thought they were just expressing themselves…

  531. Alex Jones said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:53

    In spite of my doubts about humankind, I choose to behave as if the truth can win out, and so I find little to fear in opposing views which seem earnestly held and argued in good faith.

    Well said, brother. And as an antidote to stress, I’d recommend some Big Eyed Beans from Venus. Oh, and beer.

  532. bughunter said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:55

    SWARTHY MUSLIM OTHERS WHOM I HATE!

    (because regressives’ reptilian brains understand the concept of subject vs object pronoun usage, natch)

  533. TJ said,

    September 25, 2012 at 4:56

    So it’s been a really long time since I’ve visited the Sadlynaughts on a regular basis, and um, obviously behind the times, but where are Gavin and Brad and Seb and HTML Mencken? Not that I don’t love Tintin and Cerberus, but I miss the oldies sometimes…

    On that note, I guess I should not be surprised that Gary Ruppert is still commenting. The dedication is almost impressive.

  534. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:02

    Seb posts sometimes which confuses everyone.

  535. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:05

    TJ: If you care enough about it to do a search, you will see that the last year or so of Gary Ruppert posts are all fakes. I’ve written a few myself.

  536. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:07

    Gary Ruppert posts are all fakes.

    holy shite…there was an actual gary?!

  537. TJ said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:19

    Thanks for the info. I did sometimes wonder if Gary was an elaborate performance art project.

  538. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:25

    Did Fred MacMurray enter a witness protection program or something? I mean, there he was doing murder with Barbara Stanwyck and a few short years later he’s got a nice suburban house with three kids and “Uncle” Charlie there all the time. Just seems suspicious to me is all.

  539. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:29

    The other day at the marmers farket my favorite shroom vendor had a huge, gorgeous lobster shroom (lobster mushrooms aren’t actually shrooms but whatever) she said I could have for ten bucks. It weighed out to 11 ounces! So for meatless Monday I’m making a mushroom ragout which will be served over polenta squares.

  540. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:35

    And a salad with roasted beets, toasted pecans, supremes of orange and crumbled Rogue Creamery Blue.

  541. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:37

    i made pan-fried stuffing with my leftover fry bead this evening…that’s kind of impressive for me…

  542. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 5:55

    i am glad that ‘simultaneous possession’ has been defined as ‘both teams have possession of the ball’ thanks, color guy! hubbkf just had to watch monday night football…and fell asleep midway through the fourth quarter…he will be sad to have missed what i’m guessing was an exciting finish…

  543. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:05

    If you care enough about it to do a search, you will see that the last year or so of Gary Ruppert posts are all fakes.

    I find the belief that it’s only been fake for the last year or so wildly comical. Gary Ruppert has been fake since ye olde ancient days of yore, when flaccid shoes roamed the comments, and Brad was still amusing us with his desperate shouts from the rooftop edge.

  544. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:05

    Shut UP bbkf, I’m at 10:30 in the 4th Q AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

  545. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:06

    (TiVo)

  546. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:22

    Shut UP bbkf, I’m at 10:30 in the 4th Q AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

    ooops…my bad! let’s instead discuss the freaky bald with glasses commentator guy…how did he get his job? this is one of my pet peeves…sports ladies have to be skinny and hot, but the guys are generally trollish…

  547. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:23

    I’d read the remaining 600 comments except Mike wrote:

    I think their reality is collapsing – they didn’t nominate America’s Crazy Grandpaw (their one small shot at victory) and the Smiler’s campaign is falling apart. So their op-ed people are doing doughnuts in the empty parking lots of their minds. Don’t expect more.

    – and now I feel so cozy and warm I don’t want to do anything else today but snuggle with that particular turn of phrase.

  548. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:25

    Shut UP bbkf, I’m at 10:30 in the 4th Q AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

    OMG Jordan just pulled up for 3! SWISH!

  549. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:26

    Hey, ouch.

  550. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:35

    I said SHUT UP Substance! I don’t want to know who scored the walk-off goal.

  551. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:44

    Well that was…quite a finish. Not sure it was the right call.

  552. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:46

    golden tate is a twat…and is that really his name?

  553. N__B said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:46

    walk-off goal.

    You should always walk it off and not rub it.

  554. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:54

    You should always walk it off and not rub it.

    yep…that’s what k-lo always says…

  555. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 6:56

    walk it off and not rub it.

    Anything For A Feel.

  556. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 7:01

    he said not to rub it…not to rub it in…

  557. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 7:03

    and srly…who’s the old dude in the jersey-like shirt? who let him out of the house looking like that?

  558. Whale Chowder said,

    September 25, 2012 at 7:07

    who’s the old dude in the jersey-like shirt?

    Crap, I thought the webcam was off.

  559. bbkf said,

    September 25, 2012 at 7:10

    Crap, I thought the webcam was off.

    ha! seriously though, espn has some ugly dudes on it…

  560. bughunter said,

    September 25, 2012 at 7:27

    i made pan-fried stuffing with my leftover fry bead this evening

    Oooh – are we talking cooking? Cuz I made these yesterday.

    They are even better today, after soaking in the marinara overnight. By wed or thu I’m gonna sacrifice any survivors to make lasagne filling.

    But still not as good as my Nonna’s, may she have found peace. I’m beginning to realize she used three or four times the garlic and twice the Pecorino Romano that any sane person’s recipe would call for…

  561. Cerberus said,

    September 25, 2012 at 9:20

    New UnTruthered post available.

  562. tigris said,

    September 25, 2012 at 16:14

    I made the beet/rice/goat cheese burger recipe from the NYT yesterday, but with barley instead of rice, with beets and parsley from the garden and the beet greens cooked with orange juice as a side. Great recipe if you like beets.

  563. Phoenix Woman said,

    September 28, 2012 at 6:26

    Question: Why do Truthers assume that all metals retain 100% of their tensile strength right up to their official melting points? Have they never watched a smith heat metal so hot that it glowed — and became weak enough to be bent by a hammer — without actually melting?

  564. moving Company San Francisco said,

    April 29, 2013 at 9:45

    Thanks in favor of sharing such a pleasant thinking, paragraph is good, thats why i have read it fully

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