Sep
20

Why I Don’t Give Any Money To The New York Times




Posted at 16:55 by Tintin

ABOVE: The most widely-mocked facial hair not on a Taliban

Shorter Mr. Mustache, The For Chrissakes New Fucking York Fucking Times:
Look In Your Mirror*

  • I know you are but what am I?

space

Alternate Shorter Mr. Mustache, The For Chrissakes New Fucking York Fucking Times:
Look In Your Mirror*

  • So’s Your Face!!

space

Second Alternate Shorter Mr. Mustache, The For Chrissakes New Fucking York Fucking Times:
Look In Your Mirror*

  • But, Dad, they started it!

Shamed perhaps finally out of building entire columns from the things that imaginary, but oddly perceptive, cab drivers allegedly told him on the autoroute between Charles de Gaulle Airport and the George V, Mr. Mustache is now basing columns on signs he has seen Arab demonstrators hold up on the TeeVee. And they have made Mr. Mustache very mad.

[O]ne of the Egyptian demonstrators outside the American Embassy, Khaled Ali, [was] justifying last week’s violent protests by declaring: “We never insult any prophet — not Moses, not Jesus — so why can’t we demand that Muhammad be respected?” Mr. Ali, a 39-year-old textile worker, was holding up a handwritten sign in English that read: “Shut Up America.”

Because Mr. Mustache, as one of the very important people, is pretty much the same thing as America, Mr. Mustache takes this sign very personally.

[W]e need to make two things very clear — more clear than President Obama’s team has made them. One is that an insult — even one as stupid and ugly as the anti-Islam video on YouTube that started all of this — does not entitle people to go out and attack embassies and kill innocent diplomats. That is not how a proper self-governing people behave. There is no excuse for it. It is shameful.

Yea, because Obama was like totally sympathetic to the people who killed the ambassador and said that due to his own Muslim beliefs no action at all would be taken against his fellow jihadists. In fact, Obama said that he was planning to invite the assassins to spend a night in the Lincoln Bedroom and attend Muslim prayer services in the Oval Office on the following morning complete with the ritual beheading of a few Crusaders from the State Department. You know, Mr. Mustache has said lots of idiotic things but saying that Obama hasn’t condemned the assassins clearly enough takes not just the cake but the whole fucking platter and table that the cake is on and the whole fucking room where the table is.

And, second, before demanding an apology from our president, Mr. Ali and the young Egyptians, Tunisians, Libyans, Yemenis, Pakistanis, Afghans and Sudanese who have been taking to the streets might want to look in the mirror — or just turn on their own televisions. They might want to look at the chauvinistic bile that is pumped out by some of their own media — on satellite television stations and Web sites or sold in sidewalk bookstores outside of mosques — insulting Shiites, Jews, Christians, Sufis and anyone else who is not a Sunni, or fundamentalist, Muslim.

It is at this point where you seriously have to wonder whether Mr. Mustache is an adult or an eight-year-old. If you have a deranged lunatic waving a hand grenade, this is not the time to demand that the lunatic apologize first.

Of course, it’s all too easy for Mr. Mustache, from the safety of the Times offices in Manhattan, to throw more fuel on the fire and endanger Americans actually in the Middle East (and not ensconced comfortably in Manhattan as the Great Mustache is) by insisting that the Arabs apologize first. You don’t have to be a very important person with a very important mustache and a sinecure at the New York Times to figure out that this is a time when we put on our big boy pants and try to discourage our own crazies from disseminating inflammatory rhetoric even if their crazies are doing the same thing or worse. That is because the adult thing to do is to think of the safety of our compatriots and not nurse some school yard grudge because the other guy said that Moses molested baby goats or secretly liked bacon. Just because Friedman has the mustache of a sixty-year-old man can’t hide the fact that he thinks like an eight-year-old child

*Here is a link to the column that is not behind the NYT’s paywall

136 Comments »

  1. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:15

    First!

  2. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:18

    Did he wrap this up with a suggestion that America needs a reasonable third party to represent “the middle?”

    No Mr Mustache column is complete without one of those (and since he’s essentially been cutting and pasting his columns for the last few years, it should almost be a no-brainer).

  3. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:25

    The turd is FLAT!
    ~

  4. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:28

    But seriously, if this guy can’t look at the violence caused by this hateful little home movie, and the violence last month at a certain Sikh temple in Wisconsin and realize they are the exact same thing, he needs to turn in that mustache. In both cases you have violent people nursing a grudge taking out on the nearest target of opportunity. In Libya particularly, you know where we took sides in a civil war, there just might be violent people running around with a hell of a lot more legitimate reason to hate the US, than whatever passed for a reason to hate Muslims that guy had last month in suburban Milwaukee.

    Ignorant violent yokels kill innocents and each other all the freaking time in the US. Just Google ‘hate crime’ if you want a head start. And quit pretending violence by a small minority of Muslims proves that they are all savages who only respect force.

  5. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:28

    So the Mustache of Understanding, a.k.a. “Suck.On.This.“, is lecturing the Muslims about violence.

    Of course.
    ~

  6. Lex said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:29

    I’ll take Tom Friedman’s attitudes toward denigrating religion seriously right after he starts writing gloating columns about the Roman Catholic officials being frog-marched to the dock for decades’ worth of serial child rape and obstruction of justice related thereunto. Until then, he can shut right the fuck up.

  7. J Neo Marvin said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:35

    Because we really need to be lectured about how violent extremists are very bad people. How enlightening.

  8. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:40

    You don’t have to be a very important person with a very important mustache and a sinecure at the New York Times to figure out that this is a time when we put on our big boy pants and try to discourage our own crazies from disseminating inflammatory rhetoric even if their crazies are doing the same thing or worse.

    Um…relevant?

  9. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:51

    Definitely relevant:

    By Jonathan S. Landay | McClatchy Newspapers

    WASHINGTON — The Obama administration acknowledged for the first time Wednesday that last week’s assault on the U.S. consulate compound in Benghazi that left the U.S. ambassador to Libya and three other Americans dead was a “terrorist attack” apparently launched by local Islamic militants and foreigners linked to al Qaida’s leadership or regional allies.

    “I would say they were killed in the course of a terrorist attack,” said Matthew Olsen, director of the National Counterterrorism Center, told the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs.

    It was the first time that a senior administration official had said the attack was not the result of a demonstration over an anti-Islam video that has been cited as the spark for protests in dozens of countries over the past week.

    ~

  10. Spengler Dampniche said,

    September 20, 2012 at 17:51

    If we all enjoyed the clarity of Mr. Friedman’s uncluttered mind, we’d be able to live on land or in the water.

  11. bughunter said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:05

    Mr. Friedman honestly pretends that decades of US Foreign Policy has nothing at all to do with the reactions of these people? Not a long record of arming brutal dictatorships, nor our cryptopetrokleptomania, nor our support for Israel despite them turning into virtual Nazis themselves, nor even three gigantic military invasions in the past 20 years along with all of the occupations and operations that went with them?

    “Innocence of Muslims” may have been the signal flare that set the forest ablaze, but US foreign policy has been the drought, the Western Bark Beetle, and the airdrops of gasoline to set the stage for this fire.

    Sure, these flag-burners are regressive, fundamentalist cro-magnons who have no justification for murder, but he’s appealing to the same segment of society in the US… the same ones who wet their pants with glee at the thought of those Mooslins rampaging so that they can circularly justify their hatred, bigotry, and military hooliganism and argue for more.

  12. N__B said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:10

    I believe the Mustache writes in suburban Virginia, not on 41st Street.

  13. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:14

    Squeak-squeak.

  14. tigris said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:16

    In Libya particularly, you know where we took sides in a civil war, there just might be violent people running around with a hell of a lot more legitimate reason to hate the US

    Yeah yeah, it’s not like the losers just disappear, but I’m sure attacking the US consulate on September 11th was just because some crappy little-seen trailer was available on youtube, no other possible reason.

  15. Major Kong said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:21

    Silly muslims. Everyone knows that a civilized country would have targeted the embassy with JDAMS from a B-2.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_embassy_bombing

  16. N__B said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:27

    B-2s drop tactical John Adams? Who knew?

  17. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:39

    I refuse to waste one of my precious free NYT clicks to check out Friedman’s column, but I’m just curious…does the word “Romney” appear anywhere in there?

  18. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:41

    A tactical John Adams is still no match for Washington, N__B.
    ~

  19. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:51

    From Major Kong’s wackypedia link:

    The protests continued for several days, during which tens of thousands of rock-throwing protesters kept US Ambassador James Sasser and other staff trapped in the Beijing embassy.[13] The residence of the US Consul in Chengdu was damaged by fire and protestors tried to burn the consulate in Guangzhou. There were no reported injuries.[12]

    Obviously the Newsweek cover at the time was:

    Chinese RAAAAAGE!!!!!!

    Right?
    And I’m sure at the time Mr. Mustache had nice soothing things to say to the Chinese and was all contrite and sorry and definitely didn’t incite — oh, wait, of course not:

    Chinese protesters, have you gotten it all out of your systems, or would you like us to really set off a riot outside the U.S. Embassy in Beijing by announcing no more visas to America for Chinese?”

    And you’ll all be very, very surprised that he ends the “article” with:

    But by intensifying the bombing and intensifying the diplomacy, it can create the conditions in which that transformation might begin. Stay the course.

    What an asshole.

  20. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:53

    A tactical John Adams is still no match for Washington, N__B.

    Andrew Jackson says ‘Ol Hickory wants to weigh in.

  21. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:57

    I refuse to waste one of my precious free NYT clicks to check out Friedman’s column, but I’m just curious…does the word “Romney” appear anywhere in there?

    I drag that crap out from behind their firewall:

    http://mgpaquin.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/dowd-and-friedman-176/

    I’m at it every morning, in case you ever want to torture yourself by reading what The Pasty Little Putz (Don’t Douthat) has to say. Ruins my Sunday mornings, he does…

  22. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:58

    Bitter Scribe said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:39 (kill)

    I refuse to waste one of my precious free NYT clicks to check out Friedman’s column,

    Keep another browser around (like Opera, Firefox, Chrome — something you don’t normally use) and go to “private browsing” mode before visiting and/or clear all your cookies, etc. from that browser after your visit. You can go there as often as you like that way…

    And as long as they employ people like Brooks and Friedman, I won’t feel the slightest bit bad about it.

    And fuck, it took me about 15 seconds searching the nytimes.com site to find his May 1999 article about the Chinese embassy bombing. Is it too much to ask that he might consider what he’s written in the past before opining on current events? Oh yeah, it is, we’re talking about an asshole that’s always wrong about everything.

  23. kg said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:00

    I think “what bughunter said” may have to become a new internet tradition.

  24. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:07

    I think “what bughunter said” may have to become a new internet tradition.

    I agree but you’ll have to be the one to fill out all the forms and submit them in person, in triplicate, to the committee. Those fuckers are sticklers for the triplicate part.

  25. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:07

    Mr. Friedman honestly pretends that decades of US Foreign Policy has nothing at all to do with the reactions of these people? Not a long record of arming brutal dictatorships, nor our cryptopetrokleptomania, nor our support for Israel despite them turning into virtual Nazis themselves, nor even three gigantic military invasions in the past 20 years along with all of the occupations and operations that went with them?

    I shall irresponsibly decline to speculate on whether he is honest. I shall only say THEY HATE US FOR OUR FREEDUMBS!

  26. Wingnut Savant said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:09

    Mr. Friedman honestly pretends that decades of US Foreign Policy has nothing at all to do with the reactions of these people?

    Is it too much to ask that he might consider what he’s written in the past before opining on current events?

    There is no “past”. Everybody knows it is just a lie that liberals use to frighten us poor coservatives. And even if the “past” really existed we would have to ignore it. It has such an obvious liberal bias.

  27. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:10

    Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 18:14 (kill)

    Squeak-squeak.

    Hah! It’s almost like T-Paw is thinking he perhaps needed to find some work for after the campaign, and perhaps that it’s exceedingly unlikely that rMoney will be in a position to y’know, appoint anybody to anything in a couple of months.

    Nah, couldn’t be that.

  28. Cerberus said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:13

    Helmut-

    Yup. But shock of shocks, through the magic of rich, white, first-world privilege the Sikh attack is “just a single bad apple who doesn’t even represent those who agree with them or cheer their actions” whereas the Libyan Embassy attack is representative of not just every single Libyan, but also every single Muslim foreign and domestic and a bunch of people who aren’t Muslim, but look “muslimy” (like say a group of Sikhs just going to their regular religious service).

    Unfortunately, I suspect that the slow growth our idiot white people were making in acknowledging that the terrorism of white Christians isn’t somehow “less terroristy” is being quickly steam-blasted away by the Libya attack and the shortcut back to hate it allows to stupid bigoted people.

  29. tsam said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:17

    Going OT early to whine without apology.

    I watched my oldest daughter leave for college on the other side of the state. I’M SAD

  30. eddie said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:18

    It’s kinda hard to insult xians and their ‘prophets’. I mean, what’s the worst thing you can say about moses? Moses was prepared to murder his own child. They’re fikun proud of that…

  31. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:19

    For tsad

    And yes, you must now change your nym to “tsad” — it’s the law.

  32. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:23

    That would be Abraham, not Moses.

  33. El Manquécito said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:29

    That would be Abraham, not Moses.

    Sure, right out there on Hwy 61. Everbody knows that.

  34. eddie said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:33

    s/moses/abraham

    Sorry.

  35. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:34

    It hasn’t been determined if Moses had any bastards in Midian.

  36. Joe Max said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:38

    My wife compared it to firing a shotgun in the air while some of your friends are standing nearby under an alpine snow ridge. Yeah, it’s your Jeebus-given-right to blast away on that shotgun, even though oops, a totally predictable avalanche just buried your friends.

    “But dammit, it’s my RIGHT to shoot my damn shotgun!!!”

  37. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:42

    At the same time, the avalanche isn’t the avalanche it’s a bunch of dummies making a decision to go bananas. In a way it’s an argument against voting for Obama because, yes, really stupid guys go bananas.

  38. tigris said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:47

    Moses actually did kill a guy and had to hide out.

    Has anyone linked this yet?

  39. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:50

    Romney’s pitiful attempts to attract the Nyan voter must not go unmentioned.

  40. Joe Max said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:53

    At the same time, the avalanche isn’t the avalanche it’s a bunch of dummies making a decision to go bananas. In a way it’s an argument against voting for Obama because, yes, really stupid guys go bananas.

    But at another same time (this way to the TARDIS, watch your step…), the shotgun isn’t being used for a valuable purpose like hunting for food, it’s just to shoot a fucking shotgun in the air because *BOOM!* har-har-har.

    Yes, it’s a bunch of guys not an inanimate object, but it exhibits the behavior of an inanimate object, or at best a one-celled animal. Who was it that called a mob a creature with many arms and legs, and one brain?

  41. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:54

    Has anyone linked this yet?

    Saw it, but didn’t read b/c I thought it was satire.

    But considering that their reality has outpaced our satire years ago, I’m more shocked he didn’t go the whole nine.

  42. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 19:54

    Also: if Romney was really Mexican, his own party would have deported him years ago.

  43. mat said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:01

    Friedman’s only saving grace is that Douthat and Brooks are even bigger shitbags. But not by much.

  44. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:04

    Not according to the A.W.O.T.D. Scale (Artois Wanker of the Decade), mat.

    Friedman is number 1!
    ~

  45. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:07

    it’s just to shoot a fucking shotgun in the air because *BOOM!* har-har-har.

    No question that the folks behind the film are solely shit disturbers and generally awful besides, but I still don’t see them as the cause. There are plenty of things to be offended about on the internet and this was the one chosen for the latest season of outrage. It’s not different from the idiocies Fox News jumps on, but the Fox audience is less violent so far.

  46. mat said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:11

    I don’t know about that. Ross Douthat’s brand of pope-fellating, right-wing-concern-trolling, ultra-mega icky sophistry is some of the most vomit-inducing op-ed we’ve ever seen. And that says a lot since we’ve all been exposed to George Will for most of our adult lives.

  47. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:19

    Here’s the link.

    (I was not consulted, re: the rankings. I think I was rooting for Fred Hiatt at the War Criminal Post.)
    ~

  48. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:28

    And, second, before demanding an apology from our president, Mr. Ali and the young Egyptians, Tunisians, Libyans, Yemenis, Pakistanis, Afghans and Sudanese who have been taking to the streets might want to look in the mirror — or just turn on their own televisions.

    Maybe they could turn on their televisions so they could see Friedman telling the Iraqis, “Suck on this.”

  49. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:40

    or just turn on their own televisions

    The things-that-people-want ratio on Arab TV stations is somewhat low, and is largely approved by government authorities who have historically been seen as full of shit.

  50. Suezboo said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:42

    If I may interrupt for a moment with some amateur softcore food prOn :
    I just ate two microwave-baked sweet potatoes with slatherings of real butter – they were deeevine.

  51. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 20:43

    Moses actually did kill a guy and had to hide out.

    He also shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

  52. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:10

    But he did not hang a chair in his front lawn, did he?
    ~

  53. gocart mozart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:11

    Chaos on Bullshit Mountain
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/

  54. tsad said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:11

    funny how Stachebitch fancies himself such an enlightened and multi-dimensional thinker, and goes on to prove that he can’t see any complexity in this issue whatsoever. Anyone who thinks these protests have fuckall to do with that video are blind morons. Telling those people to look in the mirror has the same effect as telling a teabagger with tri-corner hat festooned with teabags to look in the mirror.

  55. tsad said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:13

    Friedman’s only saving grace is that Douthat and Brooks are even bigger shitbags. But not by much.

    Don’t forget MoDo’s brainbusting distractions and silliness.

  56. gocart mozart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:17

    My rankings would be:
    Douthat
    Brooks
    Freidman
    Modo

    But that’s just MHO

  57. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:23

    If I may interrupt for a moment with some amateur softcore food prOn :
    I just ate two microwave-baked sweet potatoes with slatherings of real butter – they were deeevine.

    I took a couple of hours and made falafel from scratch. I started soaking the chickpeas and shelled fava beans yesterday, then ground the bejeezus out of them, along with some onions, plenty of garlic, flat-leafed parsley, cumin, coriander, zaatar, paprika, and black pepper. I ground everything three separate times in several batches, and I have enough of the mixture to be eating falafel for the next two weeks.

  58. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:25

    Is there no loathe for George F. Will?

  59. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:38

    Is there no loathe for George F. Will?

    I haven’t been a faithful reader, but Will seems mostly to have retreated into Obama-bashing and grumbling about sports. I think the idiocy of this year’s Republicans overheated his bow tie.

  60. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:40

    Is there no loathe for George F. Will?

    There’s plenty of loathing for him, but if we’re going to expand our loathing outside of the New Fucking York Fucking Times it’s gonna be a long list.

  61. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:42

    tsad said,

    I promise to use my newfound nym-changing power only for good.

  62. Golem Heart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:42

    GOP congressional candidate David Rouzer is emerging as among the dumbest turds in a punchbowl of stupid. He’s all ideologue, empty head to toe:

    He saw Dept. of Energy officials reading on the job, and see this as evidence that their department should be eliminated.

    He’s campaigning against the “girly-men” who allowed the Benghazi attack. He worked to ban the state of NC from using scientific data about sea levels to plan for the future.

  63. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:44

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we can devolve, get rid of the Department of Energy.”

    Hmm. Devo are on the player now.

  64. tsad said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:49

    I promise to use my newfound nym-changing power only for good.

    Excellent

  65. Pryme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:53

    He saw Dept. of Energy officials reading on the job, and see this as evidence that their department should be eliminated.

    To be fair, people that read probably don’t vote for Rouzer often.

  66. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:54

    I promise to use my newfound nym-changing power only for good.

    Just don’t try to turn me into Sweet Scribe.

  67. Suezboo said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:55

    B4 – homemade falafel is pretty damn hardcore in my book. Well done !
    There’s a word in Afrikaans for which I cannot find an apt English translation “volksvreemd”. It means literally strange to our nation and describes things like falafel which are foreign and exotic but with undertones of being wrong and unsuitable for us, the “volk” and therefore unpatriotic and and elitist to eat. Ag, like I say, no one English word really gets “volk”, let alone “volksvreemd”.
    I’m glad bilingualism was mandatory when I was young.

  68. Golem Heart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:58

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we can devolve, get rid of the Department of Energy.”

    On second thought, if he frames it as a process of Devo-lution, well OK then.

    In fact maybe the country should take a page from Robert E. Howard and rapidly devolve into cannibalistic subhuman troglodytes. Americans, of all people, should be able to accomplish the impossible in this manner.

  69. tigris said,

    September 20, 2012 at 21:58

    But he did not hang a chair in his front lawn, did he?

    That is a combination of disturbing and so fucking stupid that several thousand brain cells just committed suicide after reading about it. GODDAMMIT I NEEDED THOSE GUYS.

  70. Golem Heart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:04

    In the last thread, while discussing brownshirts, I wanted to substitute a German portmanteau for my own “shirt-reasoning,” but all that Bing Translator would give me was “shirt-argumentation.”

  71. what bughunter said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:05

    in triplicate, to the committee

    Bullshit. Don’t need no stinkin’ committee.

    That is a combination of disturbing and so fucking stupid that several thousand brain cells just committed suicide after reading about it.

    Dammit, tigris, you’re supposed to have fun killing your brain cells.

    At least you’ve figured out why wingtards are so stoopid.

  72. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:05

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we can devolve, get rid of the Department of Energy.”

    Let’s totally get rid of the department of Energy. Here what their wikipedia entry says about what they do:
    The United States Department of Energy (DOE) is a Cabinet-level department of the United States government concerned with the United States’ policies regarding energy and safety in handling nuclear material. Its responsibilities include the nation’s nuclear weapons program, nuclear reactor production for the United States Navy, energy conservation, energy-related research, radioactive waste disposal, and domestic energy production. DOE also sponsors more research in the physical sciences than any other US federal agency; the majority of this research is conducted through its system of United States Department of Energy National Laboratories.

    Clearly we don’t need anyone in the government keeping an eye on that stuff. Private industry can do all of that at half price. Maybe even free if we sell some of that technology abroad. What could possibly go wrong?

  73. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:07

    Dammit, tigris, you’re supposed to have fun killing your brain cells.

    Have a couple martinis at lunch so the poor sad little guys have some drunk friends to hang out with.

  74. what bughunter said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:07

    Clarification: Stoopid and resentful.

  75. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:07

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we can devolve, get rid of the Department of Energy.”

    Hey, at least this guy remembers which department he wants to get rid of.

  76. Golem Heart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:23

    The United States Department of Energy (DOE) is a Cabinet-level department of the United States government concerned with the United States’ policies regarding energy and safety in handling nuclear material. Its responsibilities include the nation’s nuclear weapons program, nuclear reactor production for the United States Navy, energy conservation, energy-related research, radioactive waste disposal, and domestic energy production. DOE also sponsors more research in the physical sciences than any other US federal agency; the majority of this research is conducted through its system of United States Department of Energy National Laboratories.

    In defense of Rouzer, I don’t see anything in here about reading.

  77. tsad said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:24

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Let’s ask post-Soviet Russia! There was a very real concern that nukes would get sold off by the new oligarch class.

  78. tsad said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:25

    I read stuff at work. Guess I better close the damn doors. One thing I read is actually a trade magazine. It sucks, but I still read it.

  79. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:40

    One thing I read is actually a trade magazine. It sucks, but I still read it.

    Some of us edit trade mags, you know.

    Hmmph.

  80. The Romney campaign said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:42

    Let’s ask post-Soviet Russia!

    Whoa there. The Soviet Union remains our greatest geopolitical threat. We must stand by our Czechoslovakian allies.

  81. VCarlson said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:44

    Sure, by the time you’re a “six-figure” earner (in any field but financial, apparently), you’re no longer doing hands-on work, but you are obliged to keep up, if only to say “no” to the perpetual motion machine proposals.

    As for that jackass in Austin lynching his chair and other symbols, there’s a *reason* I was happy to move away from Austin all those years ago (I only lived in the state about 6 years, but I have family ties). Even though Austin is less bad than other parts of Texas, it’s still Texas. And guys like that do get awards for explicitly racist shit.

  82. smut clyde said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:46

    And even if the “past” really existed we would have to ignore it. It has such an obvious liberal bias.

    I understand that it is another country, and the people there hate us for our freedoms.

  83. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:50

    ‘vreemd’ would be the dutch cognate for german ‘fremd” I should think, meaning foreign. ‘Volks’ obviously means us folk. So, strange to our sensibilities. In teabilly speak, ‘French.’ Or maybe ‘yurpeen’ or ‘soshulest’, As the rest of us like stuff from other places, and even go to other places when we can, I am unable to offer an English translation.

  84. smut clyde said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:55

    I am unable to offer an English translation.
    Arugulic.

  85. smut clyde said,

    September 20, 2012 at 22:57

    And even if the “past” really existed we would have to ignore it bomb it.
    They have more oil there.

  86. gocart mozart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 23:02

    “He saw Dept. of Energy officials reading on the job, and see this as evidence that their department should be eliminated. ”

    Do you know who else liked to read?

  87. gocart mozart said,

    September 20, 2012 at 23:05

    “In the last thread, while discussing brownshirts”

    Do you know who else wears brownshirts?

    That’s right, U.P.S. drivers.

  88. Chris said,

    September 20, 2012 at 23:35

    They might want to look at the chauvinistic bile that is pumped out by some of their own media — on satellite television stations and Web sites or sold in sidewalk bookstores outside of mosques — insulting Shiites, Jews, Christians, Sufis and anyone else who is not a Sunni, or fundamentalist, Muslim.

    What the fuck is he talking about?

    I mean, I get his general point – “WAAAAAAAAAHHHH the liberal media doesn’t do enough to diss Muslims like it does Christians!” – but the specificity of the complaint turns it from regular conservative gibberish to full-blown Vogon poetry. Not only is there no discrimination about “Shiites, Sufis and Sunnis” – the vast majority of our entertainment doesn’t even make the distinction, let alone try to navigate between which of these groups is more insult-worthy. Even when Muslims are involved in the entertainment. (Largely because even if they’re aware of the distinctions, they know it’s a fool’s bet to expect their audience to be).

    As for the general point of “our pop culture doesn’t bash Muslims enough” – someone’s never heard of Frank fucking Miller, apparently. Or the Ultimate Universe reboot of the Avengers. Or too many other instances to count.

  89. The Romney campaign said,

    September 20, 2012 at 23:39

    Indeed, UPS drivers came up in the last thread. Brownshirts though they may be, they sometimes bring me packages that make me happy. All the USPS seems to bring me is junk mail.

    (Couldn’t the post office jack up bulk mail rates so as to make money?…)

  90. Chris said,

    September 20, 2012 at 23:54

    But seriously, if this guy can’t look at the violence caused by this hateful little home movie, and the violence last month at a certain Sikh temple in Wisconsin and realize they are the exact same thing, he needs to turn in that mustache. In both cases you have violent people nursing a grudge taking out on the nearest target of opportunity.

    This.

    The reason it doesn’t happen more in the U.S. isn’t because we have any less crazies. It’s because we have effective (more or less – sometimes a little too much on the “more” side) police and security agencies that deter a lot more of the people who think about turning violent. Take those things out of the equation – as they have been in Libya – and you’ll get just as many crazies in the U.S. coming out and killing people.

  91. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 21, 2012 at 0:03

    Arugulic

    Dijonous.

  92. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 0:04

    Another good linky: http://rtrybak.tumblr.com/post/31894420969/we-built-it-together-a-hand-up-for-mitt-romneys

  93. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 0:06

    they sometimes bring me packages that make me happy

    JUST LIKE HILTRE!!!

  94. Chris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 0:18

    Ignorant violent yokels kill innocents and each other all the freaking time in the US. Just Google ‘hate crime’ if you want a head start. And quit pretending violence by a small minority of Muslims proves that they are all savages who only respect force.

    Yeah, and while we’re at it, can we [the country] get a fucking grip already?

    I just ran through Wikipedia’s list of people who’ve been killed in the riots. You can take Libya out of the mix, which was a terrorist attack using the riots as cover, and you can take Afghanistan out too, because, y’know, there’s a fucking war on – in other words, nothing to see there but fights between armed actors that were already fighting each other.

    Take that away, and you’re left with one person in Lebanon who died in a fire set by rioters to American fast food joints. As far as I can tell, every single other person dead has been a rioter who was shot by the cops (or died of Darwinism like that guy in Pakistan who choked to death on the fumes of the American flag he was burning). The rest of the damage done has all been property destruction, which, not to put too fine a point on it, but riots that wreak havoc on property break out on a fairly regular basis in the “civilized,” “law abiding” West, and for reasons at least as stupid as this one (looking at you, English soccer fandom). That’s all this is.

    Not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but not the second coming of Khomeini either. And yet that’s more or less what it’s being packaged as.

  95. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 21, 2012 at 1:11

    Finally, a happy story from the Middle East.

  96. tsam said,

    September 21, 2012 at 1:35

    Some of us edit trade mags, you know.
    This one is about doors and hardware. 4 page articles going over the basics of life safety codes which, if you’ve been in the industry for more than a month, you had better already know.

  97. W. Kiernan said,

    September 21, 2012 at 1:53

    What I like best about articles on the Intertubes regarding Le Grand Moustache, is that they give me an excuse to post this picture.

  98. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 21, 2012 at 1:56

    This one is about doors and hardware. 4 page articles going over the basics of life safety codes which, if you’ve been in the industry for more than a month, you had better already know.

    Fess up, you buy it for the centerfolds, not the articles.

  99. Snorghagen said,

    September 21, 2012 at 2:03

    From SEK at Lawyers, Guns, and Money:
    (As the extreme right becomes more desperate) “ I fully expect the next two months will witness some of the most absurd political theater ever to grace the American stage…

    Oh yes, yes, yes.

  100. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 2:09

    This one is about doors and hardware. …

    Fess up, you buy it for the centerfolds, not the articles.

    LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS!

  101. Smut Clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 2:25

    the most absurd political theater ever to grace the American stage

    A production of Ionescu’s “The Chairs” would be apposite.

  102. Inga said,

    September 21, 2012 at 2:29

    LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS!

    Why, thank you doctor!

  103. Interrobang said,

    September 21, 2012 at 2:31

    If my linguistic sense hasn’t deserted me, I think the best English translation for “volksvreemd” might be “un-British,” but this crowd of Yanks wouldn’t come up with that. I’m Canadian, so we get that kind of distinction between “the done” and “the simply not done.”

  104. Smut Clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 2:38

    Fess up, you buy it for the centerfolds, not the articles.

    Phwoar, that one would bang like a shithouse door.

  105. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:00

    Standardization is not just dancing paternal boobs but also dancing dunces.
    Discourse is not just uniting flat jokes but also uniting violent terrorists.
    He who is not a steel wyrm to himself doesn’t know himself.

  106. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:01

    Sharia Christianist law

  107. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:01

    Three in a row that make perfect sense!

  108. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:14

    Some of us edit trade mags, you know.

    This one is about doors and hardware. 4 page articles going over the basics of life safety codes which, if you’ve been in the industry for more than a month, you had better already know.

    tsam, my boy, if belaboring the obvious were against the law, most trade mag editors would starve. Or have to find honest work, whichever is less painful.

  109. Da Blue Yooper who is finally posting after peeking thru the door for a year said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:48

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/09/20/limbaugh-penises-now-10-percent-smaller-and-shrinking-because-of-feminazis/

  110. Da Blue Yooper who is finally posting after peeking thru the door for a year said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:51

    ….and I can’t believe this lot missed it.

  111. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:57

    Occupy PENISES are 99%!

  112. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 3:58

    Three…

  113. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:00

    Ahh crap. I thought the room was empty.
    I gotta fart.

  114. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:01

    “I think it’s feminism,” he declared. “If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.”

    Well, at age 50, mine’s definitely bigger than it was 50 years ago.

  115. tigris said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:07

    Researchers cited weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants as factors.

    Poor l’il Rush.

  116. Snorghagen said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:13

    Limbaugh:

    If we need to save our penises from anybody, it’s Obama

    Obama has an extensive wang collection he keeps in a display case in the Oval Office.

  117. Major Kong said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:17

    If we need to save our penises from anybody, it’s Obama

    And this guy gets paid umpteen million a year to come up with this shit?

    Sigh. I picked the wrong line on Career Day.

  118. Golem Heart said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:20

    Rush, it’ll seem longer if you lose some weight.

  119. tsam said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:48

    Try shaving around it and lay the pills and hate, Roosh. Of course, being a dickless little coward and picking on a guy with Parkinson’s and a college girl sort of makes all that stuff futile.

  120. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 4:58

    OT, looking out a bus window in western Massachusetts: if your business logo is in Comic Sans, you need to rethink your life choices.

  121. smilingdog said,

    September 21, 2012 at 5:21

    Whenever I read anything of Thomas Friedman’s (which, admittedly, I only read in the context of someone mocking something he wrote), I think to myself, “This is a guy who really needs to drop some acid.”

  122. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 5:30

    My, my… what have we here?
    .

  123. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 21, 2012 at 5:32

    Rush, it’ll seem longer if you lose some weight.

    OPTICAL INCH!
    .

  124. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 6:12

    The conservative radio host pointed to an Italian study which found that the average male penis was 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago. Researchers cited weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants as factors.

    The study does not seem to exist outside of Limbaugh’s mind and the closed circle of forwarded e-mails. It may have started as a misunderstanding of Ordera’s and Gontero’s study into the practicality and popularity of penis-extension scams.

  125. N__B said,

    September 21, 2012 at 6:17

    Do the scams offer extended warranties?

  126. Yoop said,

    September 21, 2012 at 6:22

    I’m stunned that that’s where he began staring when Willard’s little foray into godhood went to shit.
    Yup.
    Stunned, I say.

  127. smut clyde said,

    September 21, 2012 at 6:40

    The last time anyone in Western culture seriously claimed that Feminazis were making penes shrink was back in 1486… the American Right’s regression into the Dark Ages is progressing faster than anyone could have imagined. Will Limbaugh call for burning at the stake in his next broadcast?

  128. paperbagmarlys said,

    September 21, 2012 at 6:54

    It’s sincere and all but Sarah Silverman’s new vote fraud ad is pretty good, even Nana approves: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypRW5qoraTw

  129. another kiwi said,

    September 21, 2012 at 8:40

    You know, it could be Rush talking about personal experience as his wanger tries to commit suicide.

  130. bughunter, autoduellist since 1982, said,

    September 21, 2012 at 8:45

    Hmm. Doesn’t Limprod sell airtime to PENIS pill pushers?

    Honestly, I can’t say for sure, because everytime I try to listen to his show, his condescending mendacity incites me to near violence… I want to punch the motherfucker in the larynx.

  131. what bughunter said,

    September 21, 2012 at 8:46

    Uppsie. Nymfail. I have too many ‘puters.

  132. Cerberus said,

    September 21, 2012 at 8:53

    Your eyes are not ready for the new post…

    It’s just so… amazing.

  133. Whale Chowder said,

    September 21, 2012 at 17:51

    the American Right’s regression into the Dark Ages is progressing faster than anyone could have imagined

    It’s like Global Warming. The models can’t keep up with events on the ground.

  134. not a gator said,

    September 21, 2012 at 19:46

    So, what, Tintin, no comment on the irony of Friedman basically yelling, Eastwood-style, at the media ether: Shut up? No, you shut up! Shut up about telling me to shut up!

    I’m disappointed in you.

  135. Mike S. said,

    September 23, 2012 at 7:43

    paywall?
    lol
    learn to clear cookies, or maybe just to selectively delete whatever cookies The Times has deposited into your browser.
    Jesus-H-Fucking-Christ are people really so stupid that they haven’t figured this out…?!?

  136. "Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,

    September 24, 2012 at 10:26

    They hate us for our Friedmans.

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