Bitches Be Responsible for Everything Bad

He would go to the Applebee’s Salad Bar, but the Gynocracy blew those up when they blew up the global economy with their insidious femaleness.

Bobo Brooks*, The Motherfucking New York Times:
Why Men Fail

Bobo has always been bad. Bobo has always been stupid. Bobo has always organically harvested his factoids from deep within his large intestines.

But dear Bob in Himmel, I think he’s getting worse. And really, it was entirely predictable. Bobo has always been a conservative affirmative action hire paid obscene wealth to throw a tiny veneer of college-date-rapist psuedo-intellectualism over the most noxious of right-wing beliefs in order to better sell rationalization to irredeemable fucks who need a reason to justify living in actually diverse cities and still fantasize about 50s era social mores with late 1800s economic policies. And now that the conservatives have unleashed their collective ids and begun drawing on the walls in their own feces, David Brooks found his fig leaf of dignity getting smaller and smaller until eventually he was forced to just give in and produce the same authority-worshipping, conspiracy-laden, female-fearing nutjobbery as your average American Genius article.

Don’t believe me?

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • The uppity wimminfolk iz stealing er jobs because their flighty vapid whore natures are better adapted to the current Mad Max style economy than genuinely competent world-rulers like teh menz.


Yeah. It has been more than apparent that there hasn’t been such a thing as an “intellectual” conservative for a long fucking time. But now I think we’re entering the era where conservatives aren’t even producing people who can poorly fake it. And that’s using the low fucking bar that is always given to these hacks.

So with no further ado, let’s just jump right in shall we?

You’re probably aware of the basic trends.

I want you to meet two people. Sweeping Generalization**** and Intentional Vagueness. We’re all going to become fast fucking friends this post.

The financial rewards to education have increased over the past few decades

…pft…BWAHAHAHAHA!

Pull the other one, it’s got bells on! Yeah, college graduates are in such good financial straights these days compared to the dark days of the 50s when they were practically guaranteed at least comfortable middle class employment.

Fuck, not only is the cul-de-sac of most college graduate lives working fucking retail with fucking graduate school level degrees, college education has become nigh on required for even shit-level jobs. I’ve seen my fair share of part-time retail positions that straight up require Bachelor’s Degrees. As in, if you haven’t completed at least one level of secondary education, you can’t even survive the fuck you section of resume screening for a job that pays minimum fucking wage.

And beyond that, there’s also the intangibles. Even if college graduates were getting three houses and a ferrari, there’s the crippling amounts of student debt that every student is saddled with, ensuring that most graduates only start actually earning money in their late 50s or 60s. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if most college graduates didn’t know what a savings account was since the idea of having a “surplus” after payday that you could actually “save” with is a quaint notion that died before most of us recent graduates were even born.

After that, there’s the complete loss of a concept of a job with “benefits”. We react with a sort of amazed awe when one of our friends grabs one of those illusive jobs and actually gets to have health insurance. And jobs that have meaningful health insurance are treated much like Bigfoot myths, never seen, but always talked of.

But yeah, it turns out that even after just straight up ignoring all of that shit, Bobo couldn’t even get his facts straight. College graduates aren’t doing better. In fact, they’re doing about 12 percent worse by median income adjusted for inflation and unemployment. The only numbers that say that college graduates are doing better are the ones that factor out unemployment and underemployment or use the mean income instead so they can factor in the various doofus-eyed heirs of the various Fortune 500 companies.

But hey, why let reality get in the way of a good hardy whine about how the menz are being oppressed by the gynocratic femocracy?

, but men failed to get the memo.

In elementary and high school, male academic performance is lagging. Boys earn three-quarters of the D’s and F’s. By college, men are clearly behind. Only 40 percent of bachelor’s degrees go to men, along with 40 percent of master’s degrees.

Oh hey, this shit again.

As I noted the last time, the reason he has to hide in the relative comparison of male and female performance records is the fact that the raw numbers rather directly point out that men have been doing the same that they have always done, getting the same grades, going to college at the same rates, and graduating at the same rates.

All the “oh noes, menz is failing, unthinkable” shit is the blowback from women doing better, improving their grades, going to college more, graduating from college more.

Cause if men are doing better than women, it must mean that it is a natural demonstration of man’s inherent superiority over the lesser sex. But if women end up proving that wrong and actually impressing slightly over teh menz, that just means that cheating women are hamstringing their rightful conquerors.

If you think this reasoning seems suspiciously sexist and much like the panicked cry of an over-privileged hack who is starting to worry that his little rich white male world is starting to be invaded by the untermenschen, well, I don’t know what to tell you.

Cause yes. That’s exactly what this is. For all that blather about a level playing field and market forces, you sure don’t actually like the taste of a fair fight, do ya?

Thanks to their lower skills, men are dropping out of the labor force. In 1954, 96 percent of the American men between the ages of 25 and 54 worked. Today, that number is down to 80 percent. In Friday’s jobs report, male labor force participation reached an all-time low.

No other explanation whatsoever.

I mean, we just woke up one morning, having changed nothing about our economic system, our relationship to taxes and corporations, nor our economic condition, and boom, suddenly there were all these men on the side of the road begging for a job.

Obviously, the only explanation is that a cabal of cat-loving witches have been directly sabotaging male students and leaving them unskilled and incompetent compared to robust older gentlemen such as the esteemed Bobo Brooks.

What was that? Something about a depression, the looting of the American economy by a cabal of short-term-fixated pirate capitalists who’ve found it easier to short-sell the remains of the current infrastructure than actually create something of worth, the devaluing/over-pricing of college education?

No, not ringing any bells. I’m gonna stick with my witch theory.

Millions of men are collecting disability.

Ah, Intentional Vaguness and Sweeping Generalization are cuddling. That’s so cute. They really are a great couple.

Gosh, millions of MEN, because MALE disabilities are the only ones that matter, donchaknow are in the millions, MILLIONS. And millions is a REALLY BIG NUMBER, like when we say some podunk research grant is MILLIONS OF DOLLARS so OMG, it must be personally responsible for the debt crisis.

Yeah, I actually am finding difficulty in finding records for disability that go far enough back, but this social security disability program stat page goes back to 1997. And in 1997, the raw number of new applicants just for this particular federal program was over a million. The number of people on the program itself was over 4 million. And this is a program that, by last record, caps out at a little under 9 million current enrollees when the actual disabled population of America is about 54 million by some studies and has also been estimated by census reports to be about 25% of the population.

I guess a lot of “poor people earn their poverty by being lazy” types have been trying to feed this talking point about how the disability number has been jumping up a lot lately. Cause you know, it’s filled with “those people” lying about disability to get on the federal dime. I’d give Bobo some credit for only dipping a toe in here, but this sentence really doesn’t make any fucking sense unless you buy this conspiracy theory that there are hordes of unemployed fully-able jackasses jumping on the free government money train.

I mean, yeah, sudden disabilities. That have nothing to do with our population being made to work longer and to a greater age before retirement and social security. That have nothing to do with more and more Americans doing without health insurance or health care so that they don’t get treatment on a treatable issue before it grows into a major disability or illness. That have nothing to do with declining safety regulations in workplaces due to penny-pinching managers trying to play fast and loose with the bottom line. That have nothing to do with the dramatically reduced safety training new hires get in their jobs. That have nothing to do with everyone being worked harder for more hours, with less help. That have nothing to do with more and more people working multiple part time jobs sacrificing their health and well-being and ability to pay 100% attention to their surroundings. That have nothing to do with suspect shift scheduling that has someone work til midnight closing a store then coming back in a few hours for the morning shift. That have nothing to do with lowered nutrition and other issues due to poverty or the lowered environmental states most people live and work in. That have nothing to do with the various issues seen most in the South that make it so 40% of disabled people come from there. That have nothing to do with the 2 long extended wars in recent memory that have been chewing up and eating young men by the truckload.

Nope, it’s somehow just caused by… women… somehow… I don’t know how, but I’m sure if we denied them an education, then somehow this issue would be completely fixed.

Even many of those who do have a job are doing poorly. According to Michael Greenstone of the Hamilton Project, annual earnings for median prime-age males have dropped by 28 percent over the past 40 years.

Man, I’m so glad that this wasn’t at all caused by the 1% stealing all the increased productivity of our society in stagnant wages for the past couple of decades and is instead just the result of women using their evil succubus powers to steal the intelligence of would be John Galts.

Otherwise we’d have to solve this issue in a way that would cause Bobo to have a really big SAD.

Men still dominate the tippy-top of the corporate ladder

Well thank Bob for that. I was getting worried there for a second.

because many women take time off to raise children,

HA HA HA HA!

No seriously, go fuck yourself Bobo.

but women lead or are gaining nearly everywhere else.

EVERYWHERE ELSE! Look behind you as you walk down the street, and you can see them, the walking vagina carriers as they move inexorably closer. You want to stop in the bathroom for a piss, but you can feel their high heels getting closer closer closer.

And then when you least expect it, you awake clad in an apron and wig as your high powered businesswoman wife tells you to make sure the house is cleaned, the kids are taken care of, and dinner is in the oven before she gets home because she’s going to have a really big meeting and isn’t that worth so much more money than you could ever earn in your life.

This is the future, unless brave young men like you find a way to save us!

Women in their 20s outearn men in their 20s. Twelve out of the 15 fastest-growing professions are dominated by women.

Well yeah. That’s what happens when you foist all the over-worked, underpaid, understaffed, undervalued gigs on women and piss on them socially.

Yeah, women have done relatively okay in the depression because it’s really difficult to fire them by the truckload in the professions they dominated because there really isn’t much more to cut there. Teachers, nurses, child-care professionals are already handling super-human work loads for pay so insulting for the degree they might as well be paid in peanuts. Oh sure, they are trying to find ways to cut these populations even smaller out of some misplaced belief that we all need to suffer equally for our Austerity Worshipping Overlords, but still.

The reason, male-dominated sectors were hit worse was because they could still fire people and slash wages without completely derailing the system and crashing it into a mountain. You can claim it as a benefit or women “winning”, but that’s just stupid.

If you push two people off a ladder, do you say the one lower down “won” because they sustained fewer injuries on the way down?

No, not unless you are Bobo Brooks and desperately hoping people will blame that bitch who wouldn’t sleep with him for the crimes his BFFs in Big Business committed.

Over the years, many of us have embraced a certain theory to explain men’s economic decline.

A certain theory, eh? Is it the aforementioned race to the bottom, the stagnation of wages? The decline of male-dominated sectors such as construction workers and factory workers? Ooh, maybe a full examination of how the upper class has been exploiting white male resentment of the growth of a level playing field between them and women and minorities in order to encourage them to abandon economic policies that benefit them and instead adopt and defend economic policies designed to screw them over royally?

It is that the information-age economy rewards traits that, for neurological and cultural reasons, women are more likely to possess.

Of course… That was totally going to be next on my guesses.

No, sorry, I’m not at all following. Can you explain it without the conspiracy-soaked stupid?

To succeed today, you have to be able to sit still and focus attention in school at an early age. You have to be emotionally sensitive and aware of context. You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.

So that would be a no then?

Yep, apparently Bobo has been cuddling a bottle of Jack Daniels for a while now over this news that lady brains don’t actually overheat with education and has been struggling to rationalize why teh menz are being teh strangled in teh cribz.

So just like the immense insane bullshit of last time, he’s decided to just try and figure out how gender stereotypes are being fucked over by feminazis changing the game on everyone.

And as last time, I’ll point out yet again that men aren’t actually doing any worse, at all. Even slightly.

So all the whining stinging tears about how evil feminazi union thug teachers aren’t recognizing the sexy James Dean rebel hearts of nubile young boy rambunctiousness really don’t apply to the real world any more than his secret database of sociopath slash-fic where the dashing masculine hero swoops up his Gary-Stu and acts cold and emotionally distant to him.

But, in her fascinating new book, “The End of Men,” Hanna Rosin posits a different theory.

Hanna Rosin, huh? Yes, cause when I think non-psuedo-scientific scholarly feminist critique, I always turn to the nepotism-beneficiary wife of the Slate editor whose “even the liberal feminist…” style posts have been featured at such cherished intellectual icons as Slate, the Atlantic, and the New Fucking Republic.

Yeah, before we get into Bobo’s latest love-affair of psuedo-science repackagings of old sexist stereotypes (but see it’s okay, because it includes some generic girl power sprinkles to pour on the horseshit sandwich), I guess I should respond to this book and the article that spawned it.

Yeah, no, fuck that, Jezebel already ripped that shit up enough for me, so I’ll just have you read that instead.

Let me instead just say that psuedo-intellectual faux-feminist tomes on “hey, girls aren’t being oppressed, but teh menz are” are one of my least favorite forms of literature, just below chick tracts and wingnuts trying to write academic papers.

It has to do with adaptability. Women, Rosin argues, are like immigrants who have moved to a new country.

Oh good. Going in, I was concerned that we wouldn’t be able to insult two minorities with the same analogy. Luckily we dodged that bullet.

They see a new social context, and they flexibly adapt to new circumstances. Men are like immigrants who have physically moved to a new country but who have kept their minds in the old one. They speak the old language. They follow the old mores.

You see, women bend and stretch to new experiences, being widened and enriched in the process as the new circumstances flow into them. Whereas men are rock rigid and stuck in their old ways, unable to bend or flag to new events. Just trying to brute force shove their way in to success.

Men are more likely to be rigid; women are more fluid.

OH MY FUCKING BOB!

He actually did fucking spell it out. I think at this point, Bobo has completely surrendered and has decided that if he can’t retain his dignity, he might as well make himself unmockable by providing his own self-satire.

This theory has less to do with innate traits and more to do with social position. When there’s big social change, the people who were on the top of the old order are bound to cling to the old ways. The people who were on the bottom are bound to experience a burst of energy. They’re going to explore their new surroundings more enthusiastically.

Rosin reports from working-class Alabama. The women she meets are flooding into new jobs and new opportunities — going back to college, pursuing new careers. The men are waiting around for the jobs that left and are never coming back. They are strangely immune to new options. In the Auburn-Opelika region, the median female income is 140 percent of the median male income.

It’s called privilege, dumbasses.

It’s not some new genetic neurological dynamic where women are inherently vagina-like, whereas men are walking penises trying to force themselves in a space they don’t belong.

It’s just ordinary privilege. Women are used to getting fucked by society. Fucked in so many incredibly infinite ways. Thus when the shit gets ugly, they are used to it. Just like those of us on the bottom of the economic ladder didn’t really bat an eye when “OH NOES, WE HAVE TO CALL IT A… RECESSION” hit, because we’d already been living in a depressed economy for years and were used to jobs being a quaint fiction.

Yeah, I imagine there is a population for whom their whiteness and maleness has protected them until the day the economic monsters they enriched and empowered turned on them. Hell, you can see the shocked and angry faces of white middle class new liberals as they struggle to deal with the fact that they are now being treated as no different than the niggers and the bitches.

And they aren’t stuck because their brains can’t process new stimulae, but because they’ve allowed themselves to get lazy about their privilege and assume their good fortune and ease of life was due to “winning the game of life on their own merits” instead of getting a free ride to third base every at-bat.

I imagine many more people will be shocked and “abandoned by their gynocratic overlords” as more and more of the 99% join the population of the fucked over.

And yeah, shock of all shocks that the men in more sexist lands are acting the most privileged about their recent unemployment. Gawrsh, I bet young men are better at this “adaptation” than the older generation. What really? No! Must be their feminization and Facebooking and not at all because the kids today just expect to get fucked as a first resort.

Rosin also reports from college campuses where women are pioneering new social arrangements.

Well, that’s Impressively Intentionally Vague. I’m not sure what you could be talking about. Let’s see, new social arrangements… oh wait, but women… and let’s see college-

No.

No no no no no-

The usual story is that men are exploiting the new campus hookup culture in order to get plenty of sex without romantic commitments. Rosin argues that, in fact, women support the hookup culture. It allows them to have sex and fun without any time-consuming distractions from their careers. Like new immigrants, women are desperate to rise, and they embrace social and sexual rules that give them the freedom to focus on their professional lives.

Oh sonuvabitch!

Why not?!? Why not have a fucking tangent about the goddamned non-existent “hookup culture” (otherwise known as how “the kids” have interacted with each other since at least the late 60s if not earlier)? And then we can rant about how Sandra Fluke wants everyone to buy her infinite condoms for her endless gangbang parties and other insane sexphobic hysterics old bitter white men can use to demonstrate how out of touch they are.

Ugh.

Yes, women being attracted to a “new” arrangement wherein they can enjoy the same youthful pursuits men are encouraged to pursue openly and exploring themselves, their desires, and their sexualities without instantly marrying and dropping out of college like an idiot must be a result of them being corrupted by fiery latina immigrantes.

Not at all a byproduct of feminism’s victories over the last couple of decades fighting for the right of a woman’s sex drive to exist and allowing people to figure out what they want without being forced into arbitrary and problematic relationship structures. Nor has it proven healthier as the delayed marriage ages have resulted in fewer divorces and happier couples. And the egalitarian relationship models have ended up with fewer couples being destroyed by trying to live up to gender role ideas of what a “couple” should look like regardless of what works best for them. Even if that model means rejecting relationship labels entirely, finding a polyamorous or non-traditional structure works best, or that there’s really no shame in knowing that you really aren’t a good person in a commitment, but you can be a loving caring person in casual sex.

Ha ha, what am I talking about? Obviously, all this is secret commie liberal code for unleashing our horde of feminazi bot women on campuses where they fuck the men dry as their cold metal hearts are unable to process love or their proper duty to hearth and home in their single-minded zeal to steal all jobs from men in the selfish fulfillment of the “career” check-mark.

Goddamn whore robots.

Rosin is not saying that women are winners in a global gender war or that they are doing super simply because men are doing worse.

So allow me to say that on her behalf.

She’s just saying women are adapting to today’s economy more flexibly and resiliently than men. There’s a lot of evidence to support her case.

Yes, it sure was incredibly flexible and resilient of women to have the careers in which they constituted a majority be horribly mistreated for decades before the market crash so that they’d be too underemployed and underpaid to be fired!

And a stroke of brilliance to engineer their own deliberate exclusion and discrimination from male-dominated fields like construction and factory work. It sure was smart of them to be routinely fired, harassed, and blocked from this once well paying career path for non-college-educated people!

And whichever feminist thought it would be great to be discriminated out of well-paying middle class jobs that were ripped apart when the bottom fell-out of the economy? Fucking brilliant.

Man, if women hadn’t arranged all that, they would never have been “inherently resilient and flexible” to survive the current economy…

And by survive I mean not, seeing as how even with the Doom Blade of a current economy, many more women are below the poverty line than men and are more likely to be the single parent raising kids in poverty**.

But hey, they must be doing better. Relative statistics would never lie!

A study by the National Federation of Independent Business found that small businesses owned by women outperformed male-owned small businesses during the last recession.

See, women small business owners did slightly better during a single subset of the Second Great Depression. Obviously women are doing better than men in every regard.

Nope, I don’t want to hear any blather about how women still only earn around 70 cents on the dollar for what men earn for similar jobs or how jobs for women requiring a certain education level are paid obscenely less than those for men.

Female small business owners outperformed male small business owners in a brief window of time. The sexes are equal now, goodnight!

What? You actually want to see what study I’m referencing… Um, how about some non-sequiturs instead?

In finance, women who switch firms are more likely to see their performance improve, whereas men are more likely to see theirs decline.

Yeah, I imagine women who escape abusive, harassing, and sexist firms to join firms that actually listen to their ideas and don’t treat them like a walking pair of free-lance boobies indeed see their performance improve.

And I imagine that talentless boy’s club hires who rode the nepotism train all the way to the Peter Principle station find their fortunes plummet now that they don’t have the old network around to shift the blame and an underpaid female secretary or intern to fix their mistakes.

That’s not about flexibility. That’s just what happens when you spend all your time bitching about diversity instead of actually deserving the riches that fate and connections have brought you.

There’s even evidence that women are better able to adjust to divorce.

I know he intends this as a “bitch women are able to move on and fuck that new guy who doesn’t even deserve her even though my heart is still breaking”, but I can’t help thinking:

“Why yes, indeedy, I imagine that women who manage to escape abusive relationships they already wasted countless hours trying to single-handedly save by their own martyrdom (because keeping a relationship functional is a woman’s job donchaknow) do indeed find their sudden singleness a relief. And as demonstrated by the sum-total of every writing by MRAs and “pro-life” men everywhere, said abusive men never really get over the shock of finding out that their rightfully property turned out to be a human being and indeed could walk right out on them and stop putting up with their bullshit. Again, losing privilege is not the same as oppression or equality, it’s just losing privilege.”

Today, more women than men see their incomes rise by 25 percent after a marital breakup.

Hey guys! Guys! I peeked into the bedroom on my way to the toilet and I say Intentional Vagueness and Sweeping Generalization making out! I know! Soooo cute!

Oh right, transparent statistical chicanery. Yeah, I already covered this in my poverty link above, but the government’s census data notes that single female families versus single male families are 3 times more likely to be below the poverty line. All sane studies on the subject show that economic fortune for men and women after a divorce even with the misandrist sin known as child support is fucking stark with men usually ending up doing multitudes better financially than they were before.

So in order to deny this brutal reality, we get a lovely little three-card-monte by noting that women’s “income” “rose” by a bunch. See, it’s not their wealth, which tends to go swimming down the toilet. It’s just their income.

What’s that? A woman who was told to quit her job to become a stay-at-home mother having to return to the work force to raise their kid would see a dramatic increase from 0 to salary that would skew the results like crazy?

No, you must be mistaken. Tell you what. While you double-check the math, I’ll just assume it’s infinitely correct in order to protect my belief in the oppression of once mighty men by the Vaginocalypse.

K, thanx, bye.

Forty years ago, men and women adhered to certain ideologies, what it meant to be a man or a woman.

Oh wouldn’t you like to come
Back underneath my thumb
In a Patriarchy’s Garden
In serfdom?

You would know your place,
Below the human race
In a Patriarchy’s Garden
Without mace.

Young women today

Those durn whippersnappers!

Rosin argues, are more like clean slates, having abandoned both feminist and prefeminist preconceptions.

Yes, women are blank empty non-people with no need for either equality nor oppression and are thus free from both.

And this is why I went on a little rant earlier about this “feminist” “author”.

Men still adhere to the masculinity rules, which limits their vision and their movement.

And obviously, the only one to blame for stifling men with gender roles that constrain their possibilities, is women and feminists. Because those bitches always be on about enforcing constricting gender performances.

If she’s right, then men will have to be less like Achilles, imposing their will on the world, and more like Odysseus, the crafty, many-sided sojourner. They’ll have to acknowledge that they are strangers in a strange land.

I IZ STILL SMART! I’Z WENTS TO IVY COLLEGE! I KNOW REALLY BIG WORDS AND COMPARE THINGS TO GREEK MYTHS AND BOOKS THAT ARE ON HIGH SCHOOL READING LISTS! RESPECT ME! PLEASE GOD KEEP RESPECTING ME!

Sniff.

I looked behind me the other day… there was a woman back there, marching inexorably closer to my conservative affirmative action position as a dimwitted conservative moron aping faux-centrisms. And I think I saw some queer abstract concepts making out in the break room with their hookup culture sluttiness. I’m so scared. What if the privilege can’t protect me? What if I have to get a real job?

If only someone could force the women back where they belong…

Save me Romney, Wan Smiler, you’re my only hope.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Charting Bobo’s descent into full-bore MRA so you don’t have to is invented by me. Cause someone needs to***. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*Obligatory.

**Figures here.

***Seriously, not only is every single high profile newspaper, magazine, and online magazine pretty much easy marks for every single “sexism is over and it’s really women who are the real sexists because having boobs is worth all the real political power in the world” psuedoscience study ever, but they’re giving way more editorial space to full-on MRA assholes like Bobo than they would ever give to an actual feminist. And if they bother to include a feminist after all this, it’s usually a “feminist” like Rosin. And these idiots wonder how we’re still in a world where one political party thinks that women have anti-rape protection on their vaginas and the least controversial abortive surgery is the harvesting of live viable babies in service to a dark God. In short, fuck the fucking MSM.

****Passive Voice kicked out of the party because I hadz a brain fart.

 

Comments: 213

 
 
 

Me lookie-orbs is unable!
.

 
 

It IS still Caturday though, effers.
.

 
 

Don’t let me run the bases nekkid, now.
.

 
 

You won’t like me when I’m nekkid. 😉
.

 
 

Somehow, in some manner I can’t explain, the (aspiring to be) gender-blind hiring policy at my firm has led to an office with an equal number of men and women. Since there are more male engineers than female, I guess we must be discriminating against men.

What?

 
 

Yes, indeed.

Every single time that shameless whore David Brooks is mentioned, the Applebee’s salad bar incident should be brought up.

Well done, Cerberus.
~

 
 

Bobo is just boboring here. From the first line “You’re probably aware of the basic trends”, it’s obvious that he’s offering remedial reading for fuddies who haven’t yet caught up with the 90’s. Instead of mocking Bobo’s pseudo-trendy pseudo-intellectualism, you should have some withering pity for the pathetically over-privileged souls who take him seriously.

 
 

Every single time that shameless whore David Brooks is mentioned, the Applebee’s salad bar incident should be brought up.

We need a shorthand phrase…

As useless as the sneezeguard at the Applebee’s salad bar.

 
 

I’d like to work the entitled shitbag who inherited the NYT into it, N__B, because I’m Marxist like that.

“Pinch Brooks, and he’ll Sulzberger all over the dressings.”
~

 
 

Kevin Baker wrote that voting for the right this election is “a national suicide.” Somehow, that seems too pleasant for these assholes.

 
 

Psuedo make me a sandwich.

 
 

Over the years, many of us have embraced a certain theory to explain men’s economic decline. It is that the information-age economy rewards traits that, for neurological and cultural reasons, women are more likely to possess. To succeed today, you have to be able to sit still and focus attention in school at an early age. You have to be emotionally sensitive and aware of context. You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.

I thought all this stuff up a little over fifteen years ago, based on my then-limited knowledge and work experiences. I distinctly remember arriving at this juncture, and when it happened. The other thing I remember is that there was no epiphany, and no column. I think this is just some shit that comes to mind when you’re a low-ranking male office stooge working under a woman. What’s puzzling, then, is where Bobo comes in. If I recall correctly, the best response to these thoughts (they’re just dressed-up emotions) is to drink some beer or have a wank. I bet jogging would’ve helped, too; I couldn’t tell you.

 
 

The Vaginocolypse will not be televised.

 
 

You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.

He’s saying that men are genetically and culturally predisposed to communicate poorly? That seems hard to believe. Bobo himself is living proof that there’s no shortage of successful male bullshit artists.

 
 

You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.

Bobo sure does.

The Vaginocolypse will not be televised.

Not even on pay-per-view?

 
 

Oh fuck you, Snorghagen. Fuck you and your fast little fingers.

 
 

For all that blather about a level playing field and market forces, you sure don’t actually like the taste of a fair fight, do ya?

This. Underlined and emphasized.

See also: 1st amendment protections applied to anything except the Christian religion, squeals of outrage at inheritance taxes, cries for protectionism against horrifically dangerous Canadian pharmaceutical imports, pattern blindness to nepotism… it’s really always projection, innit?

 
 

Bobo sucks but that is not passive voice.

 
 

Bobo has vast spaces for entertaining, so it’s not a fair fight.
~

 
 

Oh fuck you, Snorghagen. Fuck you and your fast little fingers.

My fingers are not little… more like a bunch of uncooked kielbasas.

 
Nitpikit, the Grammar Troll
 

financial straights?? Ew.

 
Nitpikit, the Grammar Troll
 

illusive jobs? Oh deer.

 
 

Oh we can but remember The Brooksters joist at edumacation and how its sissifying all teh boyz.

This is roughly what’s happening in schools across the Western world. The education system has become culturally cohesive, rewarding and encouraging a certain sort of person: one who is nurturing, collaborative, disciplined, neat, studious, industrious and ambitious. People who don’t fit this cultural ideal respond by disengaging and rebelling.
Far from all, but many of the people who don’t fit in are boys

So, my arse he’s saying that women are doing better, he thinks that they have gamed the system.
Turdgrabber he is

 
 

financial straights?? Ew.

Maybe it’s a reference to money managers who are strictly heterosexual.

 
Bughunter, on his mobile,
 

Vaginocolypse

??

!!!

I’ll be in my bunk…

 
 

I’d go with pussylypse. Reads better and such.

 
 

If you walked into our flight ops around 2:00 AM you’d see more middle-aged white males standing around than in a whole season of Mad Men.

I’d estimate that women make up no more than 5-10% of the crew force and minorities less than 5%.

 
 

Have added Jezebel to my favorites. Bobo and Rubin really should be placed in a human zoo behind bars. Together. I understand mating season begins with liberal rounds of Old Fashioned’s for all. Kiss, kiss.

 
 

If she’s right, then men will have to be less like Achilles, imposing their will on the world, and more like Odysseus, the crafty, many-sided sojourner.

It’s a pity that there’s no well-established role model for the Odysseus-style of manly manliness.

Wait, what?

 
 

I don’t recall it ending well for Achilles.

 
 

I don’t recall it ending well for Achilles.

As I recall, he seemed to have some weakness, a vulnerable spot if you will… I just can’t seem to remember the term for it.

What Bobo seems to ignore about Achilles is that he was full of rage (a quality unbecoming to any “man”). He was a real heel.

 
Eustace P. McGargle
 

I’ll believe BoBo when Ani DiFranco takes over his column AND his chair at the PBS Newshour.

(When does PBS get included in the “coverage” on this site as the closeted “turdgrabbers” they are?)

 
 

If she’s right, then men will have to be less like Achilles

What, more heterosexual?

 
 

You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.

OK, Bobo reckons that males are genetically unfit for cognitively demanding occupations. Does he have a problem with this, or is he just flapping his mouthparts until he reaches a word limit?

 
 

Achilles […] was a real heel.
Not many people realise that Achilles’ injury was actually incurred in one of Zeno’s arrow-related experiments designed to test the reality of chronological sequence. It emerged that Time is indeed a real phenomenon, and not an illusion, but only for complete bastards.
Time wounds all heels.

 
bughunter, half a bottle of Jameson in,
 

pussylypse

ISWYDT.

😀

 
 

Time wounds all heels.

To crib a pun from Carroll, this is one lesson that time has tortoise.

 
 

Publishing, where I earn my daily bread, is a heavily “feminized” field (translation: not obviously dominated by men). It’s also some of the shittiest and least stable work you can do this side of a bachelor’s degree. (Yes, my nym is based on life experience. Why do you ask?) I guess by Bobo’s standards this is a big fail for Teh Menz.

 
 

Passive Voice
You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means. Of the three examples, not a single one contains an instance of passive voice.
I.e., what Ed said.

 
 

Is David Bruoks going to have to choke a bitch?

 
 

I’d go with pussylypse. Reads better and such.

Escunton? Holecaust?

 
 

You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.

Tell it to Joseph Ducreux.

 
 

I for one welcome our new gynocratic overlords.

 
 

gynocratic

OOOOH. A flying car!

 
 

flying car
It’s gynocratic
Hydromatic
Menorrhagic
Why it’s greased Frightening!

Also, anyone who had a part in those puns about Achilles, feel free to take the rest of the week off. Bravo.

 
 

Wait, wait, I thought Bobo said boys were Prince Hal? I am so confused.

 
 

flying car
It’s gynocratic
Hydromatic
Menorrhagic
Why it’s greased Frightening!

The opposition: It’s inconceivable!

Wannabe car-jackers: It’s impregnable!

Confused onlookers: It’s inscrutable!

 
 

I almost put a bozo! on Roy’s nice clean thread but decided that would be crass and came back here instead where the crass warfare is more friendly.

 
 

Around here we wear our verbal pants low to show off our crass acts.

 
 

And the winner gets to don the crass crown.

 
 

I feel better now that I know that bitchez is the reason my career disappeared.

 
 

I, too, have been disappointed by britches.

 
 

On Passive Voice:

Yup, I messed up. It’s not passive voice. It’s passive and awkward, but it’s not actually passive voice. So yeah, big whoops on my part. If anyone has an idea on a better one to sub in, jot it down here for me and I’ll try and do an edit later.

 
 

And now that I write this, I wonder if this is the first step down the path of becoming Jonah Goldberg…

Duh duh dunh!

 
 

What the hell? Didn’t Brooks just do this column, what? Two months ago? I swear, the man doesn’t have enough creativity to fill one column a week, let alone the two he actually has. Oh, and I see that he’s also going on about the fake bullshit “hookup culture” that pundits never shut up about. If he brings up “beta males,” he could be a big hit on the Spearhead.

His more recent column concerned the Chicago teacher’s strike, and it was pretty much you’d expect – schools are bloated, some fake bullshit statistics, Republicans are right as always, the whole schtick. It was hard to get past the fact that this was a wealthy man arguing that people who are much less wealthy are making too much money. Here’s a man who probably makes as much in four hours’ worth of speeches as a Chicago teacher does in an entire year, and he’s trying to moralize.

It really reveals the problem with the entire chattering class – these people think they’re important just because they’re well known. David Brooks has never done anything of merit in his entire life. Pundits, as a whole, are useless. They’re not educators, more like entertainers – and from a cultural standpoint, they fall slightly below reality TV stars. At least you could theoretically learn something from Snooki, if only as an object lesson. At best, you come away from a David Brooks column having gained nothing. At worst, he misleads you and you actually come away dumber.

That’s why pundits need to be reminded, at every opportunity, that they are supremely lucky. I’ve certainly made fun of the whole “professional blogging” thing, but they really aren’t any different than the big-time talking heads. A paid blogger is just someone who does for barely above minimum wage what guys like Brooks net five-figure speaking fees to do. The only thing separating a NYT columnist from your typical HuffPo nobody is an upper class background and a boatload of industry connections. I think David Brooks needs to be reminded of that every day. It’s a small price to pay for a high-income, high-prestige job that you can basically never lose.

 
 

Sometimes a social adaptation is just a social adaptation.

 
 

Holecaust?

The judges would also have accepted “Cootergeddon” or “Ontheragnarok.”

If anyone has an idea on a better one to sub in, jot it down here

“Brooksian semantic prolapse” has a certain ring to it.

 
 

Damn, jim.

I was going with Cooterdammerung but, once again, couldn’t find my umlauts.

Also, too, The End of Hystery

 
 

In Bobo’s favor there really are sex based behavioral differences. I mean fuck, our goddamn brains have structural differences according to sex. Alas for Bobo, those genetic derived behavioral tendencies are subtle and, in comparison to the culturally derived traits, all but insignificant.

 
 

Wait, wait, I thought Bobo said boys were Prince Hal? I am so confused.

That was when he wanted to write about some other of his fantasies. He’s fluid and flexible that way.

 
 

Having just finished http://www.amazon.com/The-Homeric-Epics-Gospel-Mark/dp/0300080123 which is a very good argument that the author of the Mark gospel was deliberately writing a trans-valuated version of Homer, I am amused by Bobo’s references to Achilles and Odysseus. If you have any interest in the history of Xianity you must read that book.

 
 

Why is David Brooks is not merely an idiot, but actually a mendacious propagandistic tool user:

The financial rewards to education have increased over the past few decades.

This phrase is technically not wrong, because *at some point* over the past *70 years* rewards increased *somewhat*. But the entire implication of the sentence is utterly false, because it creates the impression that this is a recent trend that is continuing.

This is what Brooks does. This is his real skill as a writer. This is his use of passive voice, generalities, vagueness. This is why he is a truly evil douche bag hiding in plain sight under the drooping labia of the Gray Lady.

 
 

Just to be clear: Bobo is a fucking idiot and yet, it is getting worse. But:

It’s passive and awkward, but it’s not actually passive voice.
Passive in what way? There ain’t nothing grammatically passive about any of the statements you marked (I actually got four, because for the first one, I’m not sure which one you’re referring to). There isn’t even any vagueness about agency, which is often mistaken for passive voice:

“You’re probably aware of the basic trends.” -> You (Subject) ‘re (Copula) probably (Adverb) aware (Adjective) …
“The financial rewards to education have increased over the past few decades.” -> The financial rewards (Subject Noun Phrase) have (Auxiliary Verb) increased (Past Participle) …
“Millions of men are collecting disability.” -> Millions of men (Subject NP) are (Auxiliary) collecting (Present Participle) disability (Object).
“Today, more women than men see their incomes rise by 25 percent after a marital breakup.” -> Today (Adverb) more women (Subject NP) than men (Subject NP modifier) see (Verb) their incomes (Object NP) rise by 25 percent (Object NP modifier non-finite clause) …

It’s pretty clear who does what and it’s all pretty standard usage. You can argue with what these sentences say and how it should be interpreted (and you did that quite successfully), but there ain’t nothing in Bobo’s language that’s either passive or intentionally vague.

 
 

Rather than “passive voice”, you might say “fanciful groundless speculation” or even better, “completely made-up shit” (the bread and butter of all Brooks columns) or something like that.

 
 

I didn’t get that he was denigrating women (for once). I actually read that column and didn’t get annoyed (for once).

 
 

I see Bibi’s finally losing his marbles.
I’m pretty pissed at this provocational putz. He needs to STFU stat.

 
 

vs – it’s not blatant, you have to dig for it. At first I too thought Cerberus was exaggerating but the more I read the more i agreed with her, I will say that I don’t think it’s conscious on his part either. The denigration is that he misattributes the “success gap” to some vague “women are naturally better at some vaguely stated and probably irrelevant shit” when the “success gap” is actually due to women getting better at not oppressed in some cases and the fact that women have had to resort to jobs that paid shit but are critically important in other cases, and that he doesn’t fucking see that being employed outside the home would account for the “divorce benefit” canard (which is really fucking shameful of him to put out there) in other cases. Rinse and repeat.

 
 

Even Strunk and White don’t know what the passive voice is:

http://chronicle.com/article/50-Years-of-Stupid-Grammar/25497/

What concerns me is that the bias against the passive is being retailed by a pair of authors so grammatically clueless that they don’t know what is a passive construction and what isn’t. Of the four pairs of examples offered to show readers what to avoid and how to correct it, a staggering three out of the four are mistaken diagnoses. “At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard” is correctly identified as a passive clause, but the other three are all errors:

•”There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground” has no sign of the passive in it anywhere.

•”It was not long before she was very sorry that she had said what she had” also contains nothing that is even reminiscent of the passive construction.

•”The reason that he left college was that his health became impaired” is presumably fingered as passive because of “impaired,” but that’s a mistake. It’s an adjective here. “Become” doesn’t allow a following passive clause. (Notice, for example, that “A new edition became issued by the publishers” is not grammatical.)

 
 

Cerebus, I think if you just go eith vague you should be ok. That’s the real charge, right? He makes sweeping generalizations that are difficult to call him on.

 
 

Thanks for an entertaining linkie there RobNYNY57. This;

The book’s toxic mix of purism, atavism, and personal eccentricity is not underpinned by a proper grounding in English grammar.

makes me think that the author doesn’t want to encounter my band, which sees a toxic mix of purism, atavism and personal eccentricity as a mission statement.

 
 

I love that article. I’ve sent many of my normative grammarian frieends the same link. Normative grammarians have been going on about things like split infitives and ending sentences with a preposition literally for centuries, while real writers blythely continue to ignore them, and Strunk and White have been tthe primary perpetrators of this idiocy for about a century.

 
 

Cerebus, I think if you just go with vague you should be ok.

But it’s not just vagueness. The Brooks style is all about question-begging, ex-cathedralising, depersonalising Wormtongue referral, where he dodges all responsibility for his vague claims. They always emanate from elsewhere… perhaps the reader! (“You’re probably aware…”). Perhaps the subjects of his essay! (“women see their incomes rise…”).

Brooks is not sufficiently honest to own his vagueness, preferring to dress it up as faux-objectivity… as statements of fact that somehow rise above doubt or question.

Please fix “psuedo”. It makes me want to psue psomeone/

 
 

Smyt suffers from depsuetude.

 
 

Good god I hate David Brooks. Precisely because of that “bland reasonable”
presentation coverup for sexist racist right wing talking points.

Gonna see this column in the Mpls Star Tribune and St Paul Pioneer Press
op-ed pages. Wait for it………………3…2…1

Sigh

 
 

Twenty or more years ago I began an MA in English literature, dropping out after a year. My assigned advisor didn’t like me very much, but he did pay me a compliment: he read one of my short essays aloud to the class, praising it heartily.

This led me to actually visit him. Insecure as ever — I’m a high-school dropout, first in my family to graduate college — I asked him if I should take a course in grammar. He said, “no, you should have your head examined.” And I did, eventually, but I’ve never been sure what that old asshole meant.

I’m a vague writer because I don’t know stuff, and I don’t like misdirecting the reader. Which brings us back to Brooks, I guess.

 
 

Less than twenty years ago, I should’ve said.

 
 

Thank you Psmut for correct upsage of “begging the quepstion.” I can’t fucking pstand it that pso many people are lately using it to mean “inviteps the quepstion. “. Pipspses me right off, it does.

 
 

First World Problems

Idiot-boy here backed my wife’s A6 Wagon + bike rack + bikes into the side of my A8.

Put a nice bike-pedal shaped dent in the driver’s door, traded paint with the side-view mirror and put a nice scrape on the driver’s side fender.

Note that an A8 has an aluminum body which I can only imagine is expensive to work on.

Did I mention that I’m an idiot?

 
 

Yes, the all aluminum A8 is generally very expensive to work on. The good news for you, idiot boy, is that you won’t be replacing the door skin, most likely which would cost an arm, a foot and at least one testicle. It can be repaired in place and, if the guy is good, won’t be noticeable.

Idiot.

 
 

Ed-

Perfect. Thanks. “Sweeping Generalization” is the winner.

 
 

Just get some foil and duct tape…

 
 

You can get silver coloured duct tape. Hell, spring for some silver spray can paint.

 
 

It’ll buff right out….

 
 

Mind you these are both used Audis. The wagon is a 2003 and the A8 is a 2004.

I make good money but I don’t make that kind of money.

 
 

Strunk & White are okay but I wouldn’t consider them definitive.
It’s Fowler all the way, yo.

 
 

Fowler does not have the sentence “Soulwise, these are trying times.” as an example of poor style.

 
 

Backwards ran sentences until reeled the mind.

 
 

Every words she says is a lie, including “and” and “the.”

 
 

Now, here’s a wingnut who knows her grammar stuff:

“The president himself has got a terrible record on national security, and it’s clearly something that Gov. Romney ought rightly to be pushing.”

-Liz “why is she talking” Cheney

Rightly, pointing and laughing am I.

 
 

I am reminded of the S. Gross (?) cartoon where the frumpy wife says to her loser husband as she looks over his shoulder while he’s working on his novel “you misspelled ‘shit’.”

Also, Major Kong is an idiot.

 
 

Did the brilliant Liz Cheney say that in the same interview where she said Obama “abandoned Czechoslovakia?”

 
 

Oh yeah, this is from an interview today wherein she accuses Pres. Obama of abandoning our key ally, Czechoslovakia.

 
 

I curse the flying fingers of Pupienus!!

 
 

I haven’t heard a single work from Obama on the Carthaginian menace.

 
 

Romney delenda est!

 
 

Let the record show that a Herr Doktor Bimler was the first LGM commenter to wonder as to Romney’s position on the Question of Schleswig-Holstein.

 
 

What I want to know is why do we keep apologizing to the fucking Habsburgs?!

 
 

What I want to know is why do we keep apologizing to the fucking Habsburgs?!

Because there’s about ten thousand of those inbred assholes and we need to apologize to them all.

 
 

inbred assholes

Closely related sphincters should not be allowed to mate.

 
 

Gonna see this column in the Mpls Star Tribune and St Paul Pioneer Press
op-ed pages. Wait for it………………3…2…1

Don’t know about teh Strib, but the Pioneer Press did a fine job fellating Acid-Eyes Bachmann this AM.

 
 

And yes, I said fellating. Someone in that family has to have pickle-n-olives and it ain’t’nt Marcus.

 
 

My apologies if someone has already linked to this gem, but Ben Stein reveals that the End Days are upon us because Obama has not visited Netanyahu.

(Via No More Mister Nice Blog)

 
 

Oh yeah, this is from an interview today wherein she accuses Pres. Obama of abandoning our key ally, Czechoslovakia.

OMG, Obama bounced the Czechs?!!

 
 

I haven’t heard a single work from Obama on the Carthaginian menace.
But he gave a speech in a columnar temple – IT ALL TIES TOGETHER.

 
 

OMG, Obama bounced the Czechs?!!

Marry me. Or sleep with me. I’m not partial.

 
 

From Snorg’s link:

At breakfast, my wife suddenly said, “And then I beheld a red horse ridden by a man with a great sword….”
“What is that?” I asked her.
“It’s Revelation,” she said.
“I know, but where does that come from?”
“I just feel as if something big is about to happen,” she said. “Something feels like we’re about to live in a totally changed world. It feels like end times. Why are we apologizing to the Muslims? They’re killing and expelling their Christians and we don’t say a word. End times.”
I nodded. There is that feeling in the air.

“Who wants waffles?”

 
 

Marry me. Or sleep with me. I’m not partial.

You know, I am starting to feel a little tired…

At breakfast, my wife suddenly said, “And then I beheld a red horse ridden by a man with a great sword….”

Sure you did, but did it see you, baby?

 
 

mmmmmmm waffles……

 
 

Marry me. Or sleep with me. I’m not partial.

You’re one o’them Pragueressive types, aincha?

 
 

I haven’t heard a single wor[d] from Obama on the Carthaginian menace.

I can’t see him salting the earth like needs to be done again. Homeboy’s probably on a Michelle-approved low-sodium diet.

 
 

Stein knows a lot of weirdos. Pass me the surprised trousers

 
 

wor[d]

My keyboard droops in shame.

 
 

My keyboard droops in shame.

Hello, Dali!

 
 

Normative grammarians have been going on about things like split infitives and ending sentences with a preposition literally for centuries, while real writers blythely continue to ignore them, and Strunk and White have been tthe primary perpetrators of this idiocy for about a century.

Karen Elizabeth Gordon (who wrote the quite funny Deluxe Transitive Vampire) would call this lot Procrustean grammarians.

 
 

Hello, Dali!

Watch yourself.

 
 

“I just feel as if something big is about to happen,” she said. “Something feels like we’re about to live in a totally changed world. It feels like end times. Why are we apologizing to the Muslims? They’re killing and expelling their Christians and we don’t say a word. End times.”

This is why you should bomb Iran for the benefit of Israel.

 
 

Ben Stein: “I awakened to a text from a close friend who is a devout Christian and who was so angry at the elite media that she could not sleep.” The four horsemen are nigh, and also good morning, Ben.

This is a window into Stein’s life. He’s got money, see, but he gets no peace. His phone is set to go off loudly whenever he gets a TEXT, and he keeps it next to the bed, for just these occasions.

Now, I admit to worrying about the state of the world, and current affairs eats up a good chunk of my day, but I never lose any sleep over it. If I wake up early with my mind racing, it’s due to work or play — never politics. But Stein’s friend is wired differently. Whaddaya bet she’s unemployed … At breakfast, Stein’s wife starts in with Revelations, too. Stein: “I nodded. There is that feeling in the air.”

What feeling, Ben? The gray, leaden resignation of knowing that you’re surrounded by crazy people? … He has two more O-pocalypse-themed chitchats while running errands. Ben’s takeaway? Not “wow, I am on a first-name basis with so many fruitcakes.” No, Ben feels it too. Judgment day is in the air. Also, too, liberals are crazy stupid!

 
 

OMG, Obama bounced the Czechs?!!
Marry me. Or sleep with me. I’m not partial.

Evidently paleotectonics is in a Bohemian rhapsody.

 
 

I didn’t get that he was denigrating women (for once). I actually read that column and didn’t get annoyed (for once).

Between using Alabam’ po-buckers as his benchmark/motif & this:

Men are more likely to be rigid; women are more fluid.

You have every right to be annoyed.

The stereotype he’s presenting sounds like Bobo has taken to buttering up the Vadgenvolk … but underneath that paper-thin PC-drag it’s really just the same tired old “flighty ditzy dames, reasonable stable dudes” tripe that MRA Team Microcephaly™ trolls use to “explain” why a penis has to be a mandatory prerequisite for management & government positions.

PROTIP: Like Bloody Bill Kristol, Bobo works in the lucrative damage-control/retcon fluff manufacturing industry, so you will need to bring a big steaming mug of patience & acquire a Cloak Of Parsing to catch him out describing contemporary reality accurately.

 
 

P.S.: keeping in mind what we just learned about Ben Stein, his wife, friends, and acquaintances — they all agree that the end times are upon us — note how he capped off a diary entry just days earlier, when Clinton spoke at the DNC:

There are different tribes in America. Some are happy. Some are furious. I want the ones who are happy to run things.

[RNC attendees were] blond, happy looking, contented looking.

Blond, even. You can’t argue with that. The DNC folks looked FRENCH.

 
 

Normative grammarians have been going on about things like split infitives and ending sentences with a preposition literally for centuries,

A comma! My kingdom for a comma!

 
 

[RNC attendees were] blond, happy looking, contented looking.
Good Aryans.

 
 

We’re blond, happy and contented as hell — AND WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Brunettes. Great Amellican brunettes.. I cant for the life of me remember why I thought the bitch was blondish.

 
 

I want the ones who are happy to run things.

That government is best which governs zoned out on opium.

 
 

Tasty morsel from smintheus over at balloonjuice:

Yep, Sam Sifton restaurant critic is now the Times’ national editor.

Some say that the Peking Duck at Piatti d’Italia is completely inedible. The restaurant owner claims they don’t serve Peking Duck. It’s not our job to litigate it in the paper. We need to state what each side says.

 
 

Stein’s wife starts in with Revelations, too. Stein: “I nodded. There is that feeling in the air.”

I take it that Stein’s current scam is targetting the Revelation-reading True Believers, who take little persuading that Obama is quite literally the Antichrist IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY.
How does the grift work, though? Aren’t they supposed to be *welcoming* the rule of the Antichrist and the destruction of the Holy Land in an atomic apocalypse, it all being part of God’s Plan? They’re not supposed to vote against it or give all their money to the opposition.

 
 

They are probably in the “Send No Money” phase of the grift. Don’t want to frighten the rubes off before the Call From God for low denomination notes with non sequential numbers.

 
 

Have I mentioned on this blog how NYU disgraced the very idea of an expensive private college education by awarding an honorary doctorate to the idiot Brooks?

 
 

Brooksie 10 yrs ago: About (12:15). Good from (11:45).

 
 

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kate in new hampshire
 

Excellent cerebrus, you left no rock unturned, no fetid piece of MRA feces unkicked.

http://progressiveactionnh.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/wanton-feminist-sex-at-the-colleges-killed-my-privilege-cry-of-a-white-man/

 
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, The Right Honourable Prime Minister of Her Majesty's Government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
 

At breakfast, my wife suddenly said, “And then I beheld a red horse ridden by a man with a great sword….”
“What is that?” I asked her.
“It’s Revelation,” she said.
“I know, but where does that come from?”
“I just feel as if something big is about to happen,” she said. “Something feels like we’re about to live in a totally changed world. It feels like end times. Why are we apologizing to the Muslims? They’re killing and expelling their Christians and we don’t say a word. End times.”
I nodded. There is that feeling in the air.

The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation between two average voters.

 
 

From Stein’s piece, can’t write one of these without the fatwah envy:

“Look, people make fun of Jesus all of the time and I mean ALL of the time and we don’t kill them or harm them. But do anything at all that offends any Muslim and they start killing Christians and Jews — and then Obama apologizes for it. How long can this go on? The times of Tribulation are at hand.”

 
 

“Look, people make fun of Jesus all of the time and I mean ALL of the time and we don’t kill them or harm them. But do anything at all that offends any Muslim and they start killing Christians and Jews — and then Obama apologizes for it. How long can this go on? The times of Tribulation are at hand.”

Uhhhh… I thought this was a terrorist attack planned to coincide with 9/11 and the protests were just being used as cover? That’s certainly what the wingnut blogosphere is claiming (on that I think they’re correct) in order to then claim that Obama ignored the warnings of terrorist attack because he’s secretly on the side of the al-Qaeda people his drones are killing.

(I’ll just ignore the stupidity of the “ZOMG Obama apologized” Pavlovian reflex…)

 
 

That’s certainly what the wingnut blogosphere is claiming (on that I think they’re correct) in order to then claim that Obama ignored the warnings of terrorist attack because he’s secretly on the side of the al-Qaeda people his drones are killing.

Of course, the fact that there are hundreds of embassies and consulates scattered around the world is immaterial- this is as big a failure as Clinton’s failure to keep us safe on 9/11/2001.

 
 

Look, people make fun of Jesus all of the time and I mean ALL of the time and we don’t kill them or harm them

We were’nt making fun of Jesus, we we’re making fun of Christian extremists.

 
 

Rmoney’s foreign policy:

“I like to ba able to fire at people!”

 
 

Or bE able to, even.

 
 

Romney’s policy is a tower of ba able.

 
 

The times of Tribulation are at hand

This is what you come up with when your Bible stops at Leviticus and picks up again at Revelation.

 
 

This is what you come up with when your Bible stops at Leviticus and picks up again at Revelation

It’s like falling asleep on the Lexington and the next thing you know you’re in the Bronx.

 
 

The fact is, it is time to put women in their proper place, which is mostly reproduction and household tasks. If they choose a different path, such as career, they should get NO consideration for changing their mind, as they are causing too many qualified men to lose jobs, just like minorites.

 
 

“… as they are causing too many qualified men to lose jobs, just like minorites.”

It’s true, Franciscan friars are taking all the jobs. It’s hard to compete on wages with a guy who’s taken a vow of poverty.

 
 

keeping in mind what we just learned about Ben Stein, his wife, friends, and acquaintances — they all agree that the end times are upon us — note how he capped off a diary entry just days earlier, when Clinton spoke at the DNC:

There are different tribes in America. Some are happy. Some are furious. I want the ones who are happy to run things.

OK, sure, they believe the Tribulation is upon us with the Armageddon fast on its heels, and that the larger portion of humanity will die horribly before being sent to Hell for eternal torment, but they’re happy about it, dammit!

 
 

If women are meant for reproduction, why don’t they smell like mimeograph paper?

Mmmmmm…mimeograph paper….

 
 

normative grammarians have been going on about things like split infitives and ending sentences with a preposition literally for centuries,

But without normative grammarians we wouldn’t get sentences like this:
“This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put. ”
-attributed to Churchill, probably made up.

 
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, The Right Honourable Prime Minister of Her Majesty's Government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
 

“This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put. ”
-attributed to Churchill, probably made up.

Madam, I may be drunk, but I most certainly DID come up with that quote!

 
 

Madam, I may be drunk, but I most certainly DID come up with that quote!

Or, you know, not.
http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001715.html
but whatever.

 
 

The times of Tribulation are at hand.”

What, AGAIN? Or is it “still ?”

 
 

The times of Tribulation are at hand.”

Its always a time of tribulation when you try to interpret the 21st century through the lens of third hand, badly translated, out of context, bronze age mythology and ethics that were regressive 2000 years ago.

 
 

The times of Tribulation are at hand.

I find I can usually avoid the times of Tribulation if I just stay in the boat and trust the shorter.

 
 

I prefer the Herald-Tribune of Tribulation.

 
 

So according to Brooks, if men were more emotionally attached to their spawn, they wouldn’t be at the top of the economic food chain?

In a twisted way, it does fit with the “capitalism works best with zero compassion” theory.

Also: Tee-hee.

 
 

I prefer the Herald-Tribune of Tribulation.

Oh FU, N__B. I had a “times of Tribulation has a liberal bias” joke all lined up.

 
 

I AM FUN__B. KNEEL BEFORE ME AND GIGGLE.

Wait, that’s not what I meant…

 
 

-attributed to Churchill, probably made up.

I think there’s a lot of quotes that fit that description.

 
 

Are you saying Churchill just made up all those famous quotes?

 
 

Are you saying Churchill just made up all those famous quotes?

Not by himself. Mark Twain helped.

 
 

Ever read any of Twain’s books? Nothing but strings of quotations.

 
 

Not by himself. Mark Twain helped.

“It is better to be thought a fool except for all the others that have been tried.”

 
 

Are you saying Churchill just made up all those famous quotes?

Not exactly. His genius lay in giving others’ gay-sounding ideas a butch Anglo-Saxon makeover. So instead of a melee in an arrondissement, you’d have a fight on a beach.

(You’ve got to move the fight out of Paris entirely, see, and anyway I don’t know their word for beach.)

 
 

La plage, je crois.

 
 

Just ask the French Beach Boys

 
 

The Trouble With Tribulations:

Pretty massive lulz are nigh every time the “O Lordy Lord, IT BE END TIMES SOONISH” chorus recurs … especially considering how the choir keeps conveniently if not downright miraculously forgetting all those numerous other times that “anyone can plainly see all the End Times prophecies coming true in order one after another” – because turning to Option B (fully absorbing the recognition & comprehension of being blatantly & repeatedly conned) really hurts Mr./Ms./Mrs. Ego a whole big awful rough lot!

 
 

“Les Garcons de la Plage” suffers from a lack of alliteration.

 
 

If the end times actually do come, I doubt anyone would be more shocked than the folks like Ben Stein who keep insisting that it is coming. It would really mess up their whole scam.

 
 

because turning to Option B (fully absorbing the recognition & comprehension of being blatantly & repeatedly conned) really hurts Mr./Ms./Mrs. Ego a whole big awful rough lot!

Sort of.

 
 

If the end times actually do come, I doubt anyone would be more shocked than the folks like Ben Stein who keep insisting that it is coming. It would really mess up their whole scam.

I also doubt it would turn out the way they say they expect.

 
 

Lenny Bruce and I are not afraid.

 
 

I suspect the end will come when some idiot inventor cross wires his oscillation overthruster with his flux capacitor.

 
 

Note for the Wisconsin folks:

On Wednesday, September 26, the NR All Stars — Rich Lowry, Jay Nordlinger, Ramesh Ponnuru, John Fund, Robert Costa — will be in Madison, Wis., to discuss all things political. The time is 5 p.m., the place is The Madison Club (5 East Wilson Street), the cost is free (well, it is a cash bar), but if you’re nice you’ll bring a checkbook to show your love for NR. The panel session goes till 6:30, and a cocktail reception follows for an hour. So if you are in the greater metropolitan Madison, come. But you’ll need to RSVP, as space is limited. Call 608-256-9333 or email jmoren@sbcglobal.net.

 
 

I suspect the end will come when some idiot inventor cross wires his oscillation overthruster with his flux capacitor.

Finally…someone who can explain “Primer” to me!

 
 

Note for the Wisconsin folks:

I’m willing to pony up part of the airfare to transport Jim from wherever he is to Madison, just so he can insult / deride them in person.

So long as someone videos it.

 
 

I think he should write them out a check for $0.00. Or perhaps for 600 quatloos.

 
 

Interestingly Lowry thinks anyone except the top guy who let Clint Eastwood do that chair thing should be fired. Not that the chair thing was BAD of course:

(This is outside the question of whether the Eastwood routine “worked.” I think it probably did; it just didn’t help Romney.)

 
 

It will be right down the road from me. I expect I will be busy doing something more important like alphabetizing a couple of bags of m&m’s that night. Not that I wouldn’t want to take time out of my busy schedule to see the second raters and back-benchers from the National Review expound on their theories of wealth creation but, I have my priorities.

 
 

I was talking with my dad over the weekend, and he and I both thought it would be funny to build a stone circle, like Stonehenge on his property. Sadly his land is not quite big enough for a full size replica. Perhaps we should build a dolmen instead.

 
 

Give the plans to the stonecutter in inches instead of feet.

 
 

I suspect the end will come when some idiot inventor cross wires his oscillation overthruster with his flux capacitor.

Don’t cross the streams!

 
 

Don’t cross the streams!

Except at the end, when you have to do something crazily counterintuitive to bring everything to an improbable yet satisfying ending.

 
 

if men were more emotionally attached to their spawn, they wouldn’t be at the top of the economic food chain?
Think of them not as children but as emergency rations.

So instead of a melee in an arrondissement, you’d have a fight on a beach.
(You’ve got to move the fight out of Paris entirely, see

Not at all — Sous les pavés, la plage!! 111

 
 

The times of Tribulation are at hand…
There are different tribes in America. Some are happy. Some are furious.

The word ‘tribulation’ does *not* come from ‘tribes’. This is a mistake, Otto. I looked it up.

 
 

(This is outside the question of whether the Eastwood routine “worked.” I think it probably did; it just didn’t help Romney.)

The invasion of Moscow “worked”; it just didn’t help Napoleon.

 
 

The invasion of Moscow “worked”; it just didn’t help Napoleon.

The collision worked, that iceberg never hit another ship, it just didn’t help the Titanic.

 
 

Comments to that post are entertaining.

If you think Eastwood didn’t help Romney, you are a delusional fool and should just go volunteer for the Obama campaign. Hopefully you will “help” him as much as you are “helping” Romney.

 
 

The most entertaining of those comments (so far):

Actually the way Eastwood talked about unemployment was politically savvy, in that it forcefully assigned blame to the empty chair.

Romney/Ryan ’12: We’re better than an empty chair.

 
 

Romney/Ryan ’12: We’re better than an empty chair.

I disagree. The empty chair would at least do no harm.

 
 

You’d think an empty chair would be the ideal conservative leader in any case.

 
 

You’d think an empty chair would be the ideal conservative leader in any case.

A BarcaLounger, yes.

 
 

it forcefully assigned blame to the empty chair.

Yes, but what about the final stage of the ritual where you drive the scapechair out into the wilderness?

 
 

A BarcaLounger, yes.
Some would say that Bentwood furniture would be more appropriate but I cannot possibly comment.

The Netherlands have been governed by a long succession of Gerrit Rietveld chairs. That’s why the country is a socialistic hell-hole.

 
 

Because I am a kind giving person, I have found you a photograph of the Japanese Prime Minister.

 
 

it forcefully assigned blame to the empty chair.

Fortunately, if it’s forceful and legitimate, there are things that the chair’s internal processes can do to, you know, shut things down.

 
 

Someone is now obligated to work on a photoshop of Chair Hitler.

 
 

Nothing yet for Josif Stoolin.

 
 

Actually the way Eastwood talked about unemployment was politically savvy, in that it forcefully assigned blame to the empty chair.

Shya, every empty office chair results in unemployment.

 
 

Chas Longue was Huey’s little brother, right?

 
 

Don’t know about that but I heard but Huey Lozenge was often medicated.

 
 

This video could really blow up on Romney. It’s like Chief Editor Korir was real and on our side.

 
 

Huey P. Loogie had some unsavory upper respiratory problems.

 
 

Huey Louis was, well he just kind of sucked for the most part.

 
 

On Wednesday, September 26, the NR All Stars— Rich Lowry, Jay Nordlinger, Ramesh Ponnuru, John Fund, Robert Costa — will be in Madison

For those of you in or near Wisconsin, the time to start practicing your synchronized projectile vomiting is now.

 
 

New post.

 
 

irredeemable fucks who need a reason to justify living in actually diverse cities and still fantasize about 50s era social mores with late 1800s economic policies.

That. Is. Amazing.

 
 

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