Sep
11

Step Away From That Analogy Before You Hurt Yourself




Posted at 22:10 by Tintin

20120910-230844.jpg
ABOVE: Amelia Hamilton

Shorter Amelia Hamilton, Wingnut News:

The Coat Hanger Argument & The Flaws Therein

  • Don’t talk to me about alleys and coathangers; bitches who have abortions after we make them illegal deserve what they get.

Another dispatch from the Republican non-war on women comes from Amelia Hamilton, esteemed author of a children’s book explaining to the little tykes, in insipid verse, how the Bill of Rights keeps children safe in their homws by allowing mommy to blow the brains out of anyone who wanders onto the front porch. Amelia, when not crafting rhyming couplets about Jesus and the right to bear arms, is taking on those Godless baby-killing Dems who are getting all whiney about back-alley coat-hanger abortions once the Republican peace pow-wow with women makes all abortion illegal.

Don’t want to risk an unsafe abortion? Don’t have one.

Don’t want to be raped by Uncle Lester? Don’t have an uncle! Don’t want to die in childbirth? Stop fucking!

Fearing perhaps that her argument needs a little more oomph, Amelia wanders off into analogy land, a dangerous territory in Amelia’s case

The argument seems to be that, as women will have abortions anyway, they should be kept legal for safety reasons. Robbery, assault, and domestic violence are some of the top crimes in America. They are all illegal, and they all happen anyway. Should they, therefore, be made legal to keep them safe? We hear stories of people defending their homes or lives from criminal activity in which the criminals end up injured. Surely breaking the law should not be so dangerous!

No, Amelia, this is not like requiring people to give their money to robbers when politely asked to make robbery a safe activity for criminals. The better analogy is that the woman is the one being robbed and you are the one justifying a law that women should not be allowed outside the home and, if they do, well, they deserve to get robbed. The other problem with this dumb-assed analogy is that there are indeed laws that protect criminals. You can’t shoot a robber in the back as he’s walking away from you.

Stick with the kiddie books, Amelia.

684 Comments »

  1. DAS said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:15

    You can’t shoot a robber in the back as he’s walking away from you.

    Statement not applicable in the state of Florida.

  2. Mat said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:21

    Don’t wanna get crushed by a falling satellite? Don’t stand outside with your head way up your ass, you silly wingnut psychopath.

  3. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:24

    From her site:

    Amelia has a master’s degree in both english and 18th century history from University of St Andrews in Scotland and a postgraduate diploma in fine and decorative arts from Christie’s London.

    What, good ol’ Liberty University in the Ewe Ess of Ay ain’t good enough for you!? Why do you hate ‘Murka?

  4. Mat said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:30

    “A lifelong writer and patriot…”

    Yes, we all know the legend of how Amelia won the Iraq War damn near all by herself, greasing those Haji terrorist cocksuckers with her trusty M4 while she baked apple pies and balanced the US Budget! Why, I have it on good authority the S.L.A. Marshall arose from the dead to write volumes about all of Amelia’s patriotic deeds and magnanimous self-sacrifice for the good ole USA.

    F-uhhh-k me. What exactly constitutes patriotism for the wingnuts any more?

  5. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:33

    This isn’t a new argument. Once I read a Catholic priest arguing that a “girl” who dies from an abortion deserves no more sympathy than a hippie radical (this was a while ago) who blows himself up making a bomb.

    What I don’t get is this: They’re all about charging abortion doctors with crimes but most of them back off charging the women, on the grounds that the poor little dears don’t know what they’re doing. But letting them die is OK, apparently.

    Right-wing logic contradicts itself. Who woulda thunkit?

  6. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:33

    And goodnight to the lady whispering “You Deserve to Die from Sepsis, You Slut!”

  7. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:40

    FIRST!

  8. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:41

    Speaking of anal orgies, let’s unpack this one a little further. Sure the right wing nutjobs hate women and think those filthy slutty whores should get punished with invasive vaginal probes and constantly renewed mental and emotional torture. That is definitely true. BUT the real target of their ire and occasionally their bullets are abortion providers.

    IOW they generally are not for throwing rape victims into jail, but abortion doctors are to be culled from society.

    So in the robbery analogy, the robber would indeed go free, but the mass murderers who made his gun are worse than a truckload of Hitlers. So, why aren’t there protest groups outside of gun stores harassing passers by with giant glossy photos of gun shot wounds?

  9. smut clyde said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:42

    how the Bill of Rights keeps children safe in their homws by allowing mommy to blow the brains out of anyone who wanders onto the front porch.

    Another analogy comes to mind, involving self-defense against the ball of cells — purportedly a ‘person’ — that is not only invading your home but your body.

  10. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:42

    Damn you Bitter Scribe!

  11. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:52

    DKW: No worries. Right-wing ignorance is a vast pool with plenty of room for many people to splash around.

  12. paleotectonics said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:58

    Any woman foolish enough to leave her proper place…

  13. gocart mozart said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:58

    What do Slippery Mittens(TM) and his sidekick Junior Mitt think about all this?

  14. Whale Chowder said,

    September 11, 2012 at 22:59

    Don’t want to die in childbirth? Stop fucking!

    Bingo. The “stop fucking” part. Conservatives are mortified that someone, somewhere is getting illegitimate nookie (and they aren’t). Their fascination with what happens in everyone else’s bedrooms is legendary. Their supposed concern with the unborn is put to the lie by their utter lack of interest in what happens to them after they draw their first breath.

    Then it’s all “pull yourself up by your own baby shoe straps, ya moocher!”

  15. paleotectonics said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:00

    What, good ol’ Liberty University in the Ewe Ess of Ay ain’t good enough for you!? Why do you hate ‘Murka?

    Dunno, a postgraduate degree from Christie’s London can really open up some doors. That and Hamburger U in the quad in Schaumberg.

  16. gocart mozart said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:03

    Oregon Beer Snob said,
    September 11, 2012 at 22:40
    FIRST!

    Fucking Optimists!

  17. tsam said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:07

    Chris Brown makes an upgrade

    He INSISTS that the new tattoo is NOT Rihanna.

  18. paleotectonics said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:08

    IOW they generally are not for throwing rape victims into jail, but abortion doctors are to be culled from society.

    That seems to be a new RWNJ meme, ie. prosecutions for miscarriage and they are starting to talk prosecution for abortion for the pregnant woman. I give em to the end of the election cycle to recommend the fast-tracked death penalty for everyone involved, including the guy who filled the soda machine.

  19. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:10

    Chris Brown makes an upgrade

    He INSISTS that the new tattoo is NOT Rihanna.

    You have weird friends.

  20. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:17

    !TSRIF

  21. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:17

    ¡?s???

  22. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:18

    D’OH.

    ¡ʇsɹıɟ

  23. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:23

    He INSISTS that the new tattoo is NOT Rihanna.

    Yeah, it’s just some random beaten-up woman. That’s so much better.

  24. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:28

    Yeah, it’s just some random beaten-up woman.

    I don’t have any tattoos but if I did, I would certainly want one of a random beaten woman on my neck as my first. Nothing screams style, taste, and class like a beaten-woman-neck tattoo. I’m just not worthy.

  25. M. Bouffant, Professional America Hater said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:32

    On this special (education) day, a reminder of awful things.

    Scroll down for the “Deliberately Offensive.”

  26. M. Bouffant said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:33

    Testing …

  27. Whale Chowder said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:33

    Chris Brown makes an upgrade

    I could see it if that was Charlie Brown and a tat of Lucy with the football shoved up her ass.

  28. M. Bouffant said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:35

    OK, maybe my cache was full of crap or something …

    On this special (education) day, a reminder of awful things.

    Scroll to the deliberately offensive!

  29. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:42

    The fact is liberal abortionists have branewashed women into believeing that men are the cause of pregnancy. The morale decay caused by the atheistic Margaret Murray O’Hares court ordered school prayer removal has resulted in promisecuity being given a glory wholey reserved for God. When Conservative Patriots take back our country this November the abortion malls will face the wrath of rightousness. Bookmark it libtards!

  30. Whale Chowder said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:53

    Scroll to the deliberately offensive!

    Gee, I wonder which one MB (or was it Subby?) submitted?

  31. bughunter said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:55

    Tintin left us some pretty juicy mangos… like this:

    I am talking here about abortions of convenience, because the mother does not wish to be pregnant. These account for roughly 98% of all abortions in America.

    Not only is she pulling this statistic out of what serves as the outlet for her brains, but the citation that she gives proves that figure has got shit on one end and a handle on the other.

    The link points to a not-very-objective survey of cherrypicked data for reasons given for having abortions.

    It’s impossible to reproduce the table in text, so I’ll summarize. There are thirteen reasons given. There are only four reasons given that are less than 3%: rape or incest (1%); woman’s parents want her to have abortion (less than 0.5%); husband or partner wants her to have abortion (1%); and, doesn’t want others to know she had relations or is pregnant (1%).

    Some combination of those are valid reasons, according to Ms Eatsfibertohaveabrainmovement. I suspect that these must be the first three, because concealing pregnancy or sexual activity is only a valid reason for the 1%, who, of course can afford safe and secret abortions no matter how illegal they are.

    None of the others that come in above 2% are valid at all, according to Ms Brownmatterismygraymatter, such as: mother has health problems (3); possible fetal health problems (3); too immature or young to have child (11); or can’t afford baby now (21%).

    I can see now why she keeps her head up her ass. That’s where she keeps her brains.

  32. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 11, 2012 at 23:55

    I SUBMIT TO NOBODY.

    Unless I have been bad.

  33. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:01

    On this special (education) day, a reminder of awful things.

    OMG, that one’s new to me…. it’s chock full of awful-slash-aweful.

  34. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:19

    No one could have predicted!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/11/opinion/the-bush-white-house-was-deaf-to-9-11-warnings.html?_r=2

    Here’s the whole thing stolen directly from the New York Fucking Times:

    On Aug. 6, 2001, President George W. Bush received a classified review of the threats posed by Osama bin Laden and his terrorist network, Al Qaeda. That morning’s “presidential daily brief” — the top-secret document prepared by America’s intelligence agencies — featured the now-infamous heading: “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” A few weeks later, on 9/11, Al Qaeda accomplished that goal.

    On April 10, 2004, the Bush White House declassified that daily brief — and only that daily brief — in response to pressure from the 9/11 Commission, which was investigating the events leading to the attack. Administration officials dismissed the document’s significance, saying that, despite the jaw-dropping headline, it was only an assessment of Al Qaeda’s history, not a warning of the impending attack. While some critics considered that claim absurd, a close reading of the brief showed that the argument had some validity.

    That is, unless it was read in conjunction with the daily briefs preceding Aug. 6, the ones the Bush administration would not release. While those documents are still not public, I have read excerpts from many of them, along with other recently declassified records, and come to an inescapable conclusion: the administration’s reaction to what Mr. Bush was told in the weeks before that infamous briefing reflected significantly more negligence than has been disclosed. In other words, the Aug. 6 document, for all of the controversy it provoked, is not nearly as shocking as the briefs that came before it.

    The direct warnings to Mr. Bush about the possibility of a Qaeda attack began in the spring of 2001. By May 1, the Central Intelligence Agency told the White House of a report that “a group presently in the United States” was planning a terrorist operation. Weeks later, on June 22, the daily brief reported that Qaeda strikes could be “imminent,” although intelligence suggested the time frame was flexible.

    But some in the administration considered the warning to be just bluster. An intelligence official and a member of the Bush administration both told me in interviews that the neoconservative leaders who had recently assumed power at the Pentagon were warning the White House that the C.I.A. had been fooled; according to this theory, Bin Laden was merely pretending to be planning an attack to distract the administration from Saddam Hussein, whom the neoconservatives saw as a greater threat. Intelligence officials, these sources said, protested that the idea of Bin Laden, an Islamic fundamentalist, conspiring with Mr. Hussein, an Iraqi secularist, was ridiculous, but the neoconservatives’ suspicions were nevertheless carrying the day.

    In response, the C.I.A. prepared an analysis that all but pleaded with the White House to accept that the danger from Bin Laden was real.

    “The U.S. is not the target of a disinformation campaign by Usama Bin Laden,” the daily brief of June 29 read, using the government’s transliteration of Bin Laden’s first name. Going on for more than a page, the document recited much of the evidence, including an interview that month with a Middle Eastern journalist in which Bin Laden aides warned of a coming attack, as well as competitive pressures that the terrorist leader was feeling, given the number of Islamists being recruited for the separatist Russian region of Chechnya.

    And the C.I.A. repeated the warnings in the briefs that followed. Operatives connected to Bin Laden, one reported on June 29, expected the planned near-term attacks to have “dramatic consequences,” including major casualties. On July 1, the brief stated that the operation had been delayed, but “will occur soon.” Some of the briefs again reminded Mr. Bush that the attack timing was flexible, and that, despite any perceived delay, the planned assault was on track.

    Yet, the White House failed to take significant action. Officials at the Counterterrorism Center of the C.I.A. grew apoplectic. On July 9, at a meeting of the counterterrorism group, one official suggested that the staff put in for a transfer so that somebody else would be responsible when the attack took place, two people who were there told me in interviews. The suggestion was batted down, they said, because there would be no time to train anyone else.

    That same day in Chechnya, according to intelligence I reviewed, Ibn Al-Khattab, an extremist who was known for his brutality and his links to Al Qaeda, told his followers that there would soon be very big news. Within 48 hours, an intelligence official told me, that information was conveyed to the White House, providing more data supporting the C.I.A.’s warnings. Still, the alarm bells didn’t sound.

    On July 24, Mr. Bush was notified that the attack was still being readied, but that it had been postponed, perhaps by a few months. But the president did not feel the briefings on potential attacks were sufficient, one intelligence official told me, and instead asked for a broader analysis on Al Qaeda, its aspirations and its history. In response, the C.I.A. set to work on the Aug. 6 brief.

    In the aftermath of 9/11, Bush officials attempted to deflect criticism that they had ignored C.I.A. warnings by saying they had not been told when and where the attack would occur. That is true, as far as it goes, but it misses the point. Throughout that summer, there were events that might have exposed the plans, had the government been on high alert. Indeed, even as the Aug. 6 brief was being prepared, Mohamed al-Kahtani, a Saudi believed to have been assigned a role in the 9/11 attacks, was stopped at an airport in Orlando, Fla., by a suspicious customs agent and sent back overseas on Aug. 4. Two weeks later, another co-conspirator, Zacarias Moussaoui, was arrested on immigration charges in Minnesota after arousing suspicions at a flight school. But the dots were not connected, and Washington did not react.

    Could the 9/11 attack have been stopped, had the Bush team reacted with urgency to the warnings contained in all of those daily briefs? We can’t ever know. And that may be the most agonizing reality of all.

    Kurt Eichenwald, a contributing editor at Vanity Fair and a former reporter for The New York Times, is the author of “500 Days: Secrets and Lies in the Terror Wars.”

  35. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:19

    On this special (education) day, a reminder of awful things.

    Oh man, I had forgotten about “Jeebus Comforting Weeping Santa” — how could I forget! Nevar forget!!!

  36. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:30

    An intelligence official and a member of the Bush administration both told me in interviews that the neoconservative leaders who had recently assumed power at the Pentagon were warning the White House that the C.I.A. had been fooled; according to this theory, Bin Laden was merely pretending to be planning an attack to distract the administration from Saddam Hussein, whom the neoconservatives saw as a greater threat.

    I hate these people so much. And they’re all still walking around free pretending they’re actual human beings and “advising” and shit. Gah.

  37. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:32

    Unrelated:

    Matisyahu’s Live At Stubb’s album is kinda good. That I am just now finding this out saddens me.

  38. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:32

    forth

  39. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:38

    I am talking here about abortions of convenience, because the mother does not wish to be pregnant. These account for roughly 98% of all abortions in America.

    In the other 2%, the mother *does* wish to be pregnant but the aliens need to extract the implanted embryo for examination.

  40. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:42

    ╒☝ℝ⑀♰‼

  41. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:42

    In other words, the Aug. 6 document, for all of the controversy it provoked, is not nearly as shocking as the briefs that came before it.

    I am shocked, shocked!! that the Cheney administration set out to deceive the 9/11 Commission by withholding most of the evidence.

  42. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:46

    MB (or was it Subby?) submitted
    I am too old & tired to bother w/ such. Also lazy, which has been going on since before I was old & tired.

  43. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:47

    Geez, now that I have Nyan Mitt it seems a shame not to give him airplane wings.

  44. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:49

    …and a jetpack.

  45. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 0:50

    Also, HEY.

  46. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:04

    None of the others that come in above 2% are valid at all, according to Ms Brownmatterismygraymatter, such as [...] can’t afford baby now (21%). – bughunter

    There is a very strong attitude (maybe less so in my generation, but it certainly exists even in my parents’ generation which is the generation of the so-called sexual revolution) in this country, probably from our particular brand of Protestant heritage, that “you shouldn’t have sex unless you can afford to have a baby”. IOW, the right-wing isn’t anti-sex, they just think it is a luxury, and that view is, alas, shared by many people, even (for example) my pro-choice, Jewish (sex with your spouse is a mitzvah, a sacred obligation according to our religion, not a luxury reserved for the rich) parents.

    That’s part of the reason why Will Saletin (sp?) style equivocation about abortion has such resonance with people and why even many people who are really pro-choice (i.e. when it comes down to it, they don’t want government to tell them what they can or cannot do with their uteri) don’t even describe themselves as such and are uncomfortable with pro-choice positions, preferring instead politicians who make noises about “compromise” (fortunately, my parents are smart enough to realize that if you don’t want abortion to be banned, no matter how much you may find it “distasteful” or whatever, you are pro-choice and you should thus not push politicians to take compromise positions).

  47. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:07

    Another analogy comes to mind, involving self-defense against the ball of cells — purportedly a ‘person’ — that is not only invading your home but your body – smut clyde

    I guess I was on the right track opening this thread with a comment referencing stand yer ground. How can conservatives manage to both support stand your ground type laws about “a man’s home is his castle” and not support a woman’s right to have an abortion? Oh, wait a minute, I see how … “a man’s …”

    And the right wonders why we claim they are waging a war on women?

  48. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:12

    Also, HEY. – Substance McG

    I love how the girl recongnizes that they are (OMG!) Mormons right on site. I also like how the first “untruth” of Mormonism they detect is that Mormons claim that if Jesus were to come down to Earth you wouldn’t know the difference between him and any other dude.

    Perhaps I’m not getting something because I’m a J00, but isn’t one of the whole take-homes of the crucifixion story (as well as “what you did to the least of them [...]“) that the criminal, poor person or what have you that you are not treating well may very well be the big JC, so you better treat people well?

    Methinks the Chick tract writer here is being about as heretical (in terms of Christology) as he claims the Mormons are.

  49. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:17

    OK, so I just discovered Regretsy, thanks to MB… it’s like a Lileks’ gallery of schlock art. And stuff.

    Sometimes really fucking funny stuff.

    Like this.

  50. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:18

    Perhaps I’m not getting something because I’m a J00, but isn’t one of the whole take-homes of the crucifixion story (as well as “what you did to the least of them [...]“) that the criminal, poor person or what have you that you are not treating well may very well be the big JC, so you better treat people well?

    Those are stories you tell in certain circumstances, like to kids when they take too many cupcakes or something. When smiting needs to happen you find another story.

  51. gocart mozart said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:23

    Amelia Hamilton is dumber than a bag of Krauthammers.*

    * I’ve been saving that joke for somewhere and here is as good a place as any I suppose.

  52. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:24

    the criminal, poor person or what have you that you are not treating well may very well be the big JC, so you better treat people well?

    Well nobody will ever mistake me for a bibble scholar but I believe the meaning is more that Jeebus knows when you mistreat the “least of these” (’cause they’re fuckin’ SNITCHES) so treat them right because YOU ARE BEING WATCHED.

  53. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:25

    Like this.

    I’m definitely going to be adding some of those to my daily vocabulary. “Nugget guzzling knobgargler” just has a certain ring to it, yaknow?

  54. boconn13 said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:30

    Her real crime is wearing a NY hat in Celtics green! !!#%$&*!*!

  55. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:35

    dumber than a bag of Krauthammers.

    Beauty.

  56. tigris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:37

    Another analogy comes to mind, involving self-defense against the ball of cells — purportedly a ‘person’ — that is not only invading your home but your body.

    By being slutty sluts the fetuses were invited in, but I suppose if the bambinos were to overstay their welcome the hooers could shoot them.

  57. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:41

    Well nobody will ever mistake me for a bibble scholar but I believe the meaning is more that Jeebus knows when you mistreat the “least of these”

    Yes, that is the correct theological explanation. He knows when you’ve been sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good. And such as.

  58. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:42

    I love how the girl recongnizes that they are (OMG!) Mormons right on site.

    Well, they’re pretty easy to spot- they all wear white button-down shirts and black nametags.

  59. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:45

    black nametags. … that begin with “Elder”

    Although I’ve never understood why they’d call themselves a tree.

  60. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:48

    I am talking here about abortions of convenience, because the mother does not wish to be pregnant.

    This could almost be a Poe, the equation of “someone’s desire for physical autonomy” with “convenience” is so glaringly dishonest. But this is only women we’re talking about.

    I am talking here about emancipations of convenience, because the labourer does not wish to be enslaved.

  61. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:49

    I am talking here about workplace safety rules of convenience, because the worker does not wish to have his or her limbs torn off.

  62. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2012 at 1:50

    I’ve been to weird placesI’ve seen things.

  63. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:03

    black nametags. … that begin with “Elder”

    Although I’ve never understood why they’d call themselves a tree.

    Silly, they call themselves “Elder” because they believe that they will become hideous, tentacled gods after this life, and go to the planet Kolob, which is another word for Yuggoth.

    And the obsession with green Jell-O? It totally symbolizes a shoggoth.

  64. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:03

    I’ve been to weird places

    “Jesus Didn’t Tap”…bullshit. He whined like a little baby up on that cross, “O God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Shut up, ya whiner.

  65. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:06

    I am talking about automotive rules of convenience, because the driver does not wish to have a head-on collision.

  66. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:09

    I am talking here about triple bypasses of convenience, because the person does not wish to die of a heart attack.

  67. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:09

    I gotta million of ‘em.

  68. Another Kiwi said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:24

    The Hauer “Blade Runner” speech has an interesting back story

  69. tigris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 2:33

    The argument seems to be that, as women will have abortions anyway, they should be kept legal for safety reasons. Robbery, assault, and domestic violence are some of the top crimes in America. They are all illegal, and they all happen anyway.

    If there were to be found a SINGLE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD who thinks abortion is a terrible crime but women should be allowed to do it anyway because otherwise the little dears might hurt themselves, this “logic” might work with that person.

  70. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:11

    Chris Brown makes an upgrade

    Apparently Chris Brown is trying really hard to become the perfect physical embodiment of every Lifetime movie villain. Are we sure that he isn’t actually just possessed by the God of terrible faux-feminist television?

    On the abortion post:

    I think this will really help sanity return in the whole abortion “debate”. Too many people have given up so much ground because they wanted to be publicly seen standing against “sluts” and sex even though they didn’t want any real damage or change in rights to befall women… or at least women like them or people they knew.

    But now, the right-wing is fully laying it out on the table. Yes, they cry, we really do want every bitch who dares give it up heterosexually (including those who “give it up” by failing to successfully fight off their rapists) to be put to death for being a dirty filthy slut, including you, including those you know.

    And I think people are starting to wake up to that and really think about how much they really give a fuck about women’s sex lives when all’s said and done.

  71. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:20

    I’ve been to weird places… I’ve seen things.

    I’ve found something
    No one else is looking for.
    I’ve found something
    That there’s no use for.
    And what’s more I’m keeping it to myself.

  72. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:22

    Nobody knows
    The wingnuts I’ve seen
    Nobody knows
    But Sadlies.

  73. Mitt Rmoney said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:28

    I don’t know either. My dad used to talk about feeding mom elder berries so maybe that has something to do with it?

  74. Mitt Rmoney said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:29

    His. _his_ elder berries. Dagnabbit.

  75. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:29

    “Those aren’t elder berries. Those are older berries. Poison!”

  76. paleotectonics said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:31

    I don’t know either. My dad used to talk about feeding mom elder berries so maybe that has something to do with it?

    Was your mother a hamster?

  77. Mitt Rmoney said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:55

    “I looked him in the eye as we were leaving,” recalls Goodridge. “And I said, ‘Governor Romney, tell me — what would you suggest I say to my 8 year-old daughter about why her mommy and her ma can’t get married because you, the governor of her state, are going to block our marriage?’”

    His response, according to Goodridge: “I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.”

    http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/blogs/bostonspirit/2012/09/romney_a_wimp_not_so_much_acco.html

    Also, “I didnt know you had families.”

  78. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 3:57

    Fuck. , I’m just going to go drink gin and give up trying to intertube.

  79. Major Kong said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:03

    It’s dark out and I’m tired – so it must be time to go to work.

  80. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:07

    It’s dark out

    Ummmm, maybe you shouldn’t be flying a plane. I can clearly see outside – sun’s not even set yet.

  81. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:17

    It’s dark out

    Ummmm, maybe you shouldn’t be flying a plane.

    Don’t worry: he has headlights.

  82. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:19

    You have weird friends.

    LOL–I don’t have any friends, dude! JOAX ON U BRO!

  83. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:20

    Amelia Hamilton is dumber than a colostomy bag of Krauthammers.*

    Fizzixed.
    .

  84. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:42

    Apparently Chris Brown is trying really hard to become the perfect physical embodiment of every Lifetime movie villain. Are we sure that he isn’t actually just possessed by the God of terrible faux-feminist television?

    I think he hit that milestone when he was 9 years old or so. I think he’s going for a serial killer in plain sight type persona now. He’s drawing his trophies RIGHT ON HIS OWN NECK.

    I don’t get it. Rihanna is so beautiful. She’s talented and sexy and would have no trouble landing any man (CALL ME, BABY!)

    Yet she ends up with this little fucking cunt who beats women and looks like those creepy tweakers I see walking around in bad neighborhoods, wearing white tank tops, terrible denim half pants, and leading a pit bull on a leash. WHAT THE FUCK? Rihanna, you DO NOT have to date trailer trash!

  85. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 4:53

    Amelia Hamilton is dumber than a colostomy bag of Krauthammers.*

    Krauthammer has a colostomy bag?
    OK, who reversed the polarity?

  86. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 12, 2012 at 5:09

    It’s dark out

    The next Star Trek movies is going to be called “Star Trek Into Darkness”.

    No, really. That’s the title. I didn’t miss a colon. It’s like “Trek into darkness”, but with “star” stuck at the beginning. What the fuck? That’s a really dumb title.

  87. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 5:14

    The next Star Trek movies is going to be called “Star Trek Into Darkness”.

    It’s gonna be tough to explain all the lens flares.

  88. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 5:58

    Here’s a clue: Star Dreck is really dumb, & the clowns who have their paws on the franchise now are cretins.

    Also plus which:

    Renegades, as the name suggests, will be bold, edgy and a little dark. Renegades will feature a combination of familiar Star Trek faces, plus a collection of hot, new rising actors (to be announced).

  89. Golem Heart said,

    September 12, 2012 at 6:44

    There is a very strong attitude [...] that “you shouldn’t have sex unless you can afford to have a baby”

    My variant is that you shouldn’t have a baby unless you can afford one. But I can accept that people will have babies they can’t afford. They seem to view raising a family as an important part of life! That being the case, it’s no wonder they don’t wait until they’re solvent. I’m the same, in my way: I do the things that give my life meaning and zest, working around the necessities. Does this drive conservatives nuts? It seems to … as to whether they see sex as a luxury, I think they vacillate as convenient.

    So as much as I might get annoyed with folks who have families out of all proportion to their earnings, in a sense they’re more like me than they’re like the unrealistic dreams of a certain type of conservative. In fact those cons’ dreams would crash economies real and imaginable. As far as I can tell, we’re all supposed to put off most everything: families, hobbies, luxuries, risks, all of it. Live as cheaply as possible. Meanwhile, seek the most profitable investments — all of us, all at once. The “paradox of thrift.”

    Marx: “[Capitalist economy] is a truly moral science [...] Its principle thesis is the renunciation of life and of human needs. The less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the threater or to balls, the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. [...] Everything which the economist takes from you in the way of life and humanity, he restores to you in the forms of money and wealth.”

  90. Alex said,

    September 12, 2012 at 6:44

    I agree that presenting “keep abortion safe” as the *only* argument for abortion is weak. Not weak in the “A reasonable policy maker would not be swayed by this argument,” since it’s completely logical. Most other crimes don’t become safer when they’re legalized, so the analogy fails. If a law has bad effects, it should be reconsidered.

    No, it’s weak in a rhetorical sense, since the way it usually gets deployed is “Well, we agree that abortion should be reduced because it’s icky and awful, but since it’s going to happen anyway it might as well be safe.” It concedes a lot of ground. Plus it usually gets used by pseudo liberals on the teevee who don’t really care about women anyway (and the people who really want to toe the Democratic line), so it’s surrounded by tons of overly simplistic and misogynistic junk.

    Abortion’s great. It’s one way – and a necessary way – women are free to decide what happens in their lives. And it should be safe – /because it’s great/.

  91. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2012 at 7:16

    There’s no war on women and if there were, Mitt Romney wouldn’t be one of the combatants. No, really…

  92. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 12, 2012 at 7:34

    the ball of cells — purportedly a ‘person’ — that is not only invading your home but your body.

    AWESOME MOVIE.

  93. smut clyde said,

    September 12, 2012 at 8:08

    AWESOME MOVIE.
    You don’t often encounter a decent adaptation of a Koontz novel.

  94. Shopworn Joke said,

    September 12, 2012 at 8:12

    It’ll be filmed in Arkansas, I hope.

  95. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 12, 2012 at 8:49

    Filming in Arkansas.

  96. Chris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 10:38

    This isn’t a new argument. Once I read a Catholic priest arguing that a “girl” who dies from an abortion deserves no more sympathy than a hippie radical (this was a while ago) who blows himself up making a bomb.

    Hippie radicals make bombs?

    This WAS a long while ago!

  97. Chris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 10:40

    What I don’t get is this: They’re all about charging abortion doctors with crimes but most of them back off charging the women, on the grounds that the poor little dears don’t know what they’re doing. But letting them die is OK, apparently.

    If that’s true, it’s PR – they don’t want to look like monsters and know that’s exactly how it would look.

    Get them talking among themselves – I remember seeing a wingnut facebook friend pose the question “if we ever can criminalize abortion, what should be the penalty for it?” The general consensus was “same as for murder.” I don’t think the average wingnut has a problem frying a mother who tries to have an abortion on the electric chair.

  98. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 10:42

    Hippies & radicals were not actually the same thing, a long time ago.

  99. Chris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 10:44

    Well nobody will ever mistake me for a bibble scholar but I believe the meaning is more that Jeebus knows when you mistreat the “least of these” (’cause they’re fuckin’ SNITCHES) so treat them right because YOU ARE BEING WATCHED.

    And that right there should be the death of the “faith not acts” doctrine. Should be, and maybe would be if any of them ever took a break from worshiping Jesus long enough to actually listen to him.

  100. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 10:45

    The point is that women shouldn’t/don’t have any agency, & if you kill the breeder she can’t go on to be forced to have a quiverful.

  101. John Revolta said,

    September 12, 2012 at 11:44

    Hippies & radicals were not actually the same thing, a long time ago.

    Well, some were and some weren’t.
    There were all different types of hippies. and the categories of course crossed over a lot, but the one thing they (we) all had in common was that no one ever used the term “hippie”- except sarcastically, or as an insult.
    I understand it is much the same with yer modern-day hipster.
    Now get offa my cloud.

  102. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 13:00

    Hipsters are not only not radical, they’re reactionary.

  103. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 15:10

    B^4-

    From your link:

    Then in May 2006, Henry got a phone call from Romney’s chief of staff. A Commission press release touting the Youth Pride parade had been sent out on stationery that included the governor’s name in its sidebar. This placed Romney’s name on the same page as the word “transgender.” He was not happy. He was going to shut down the Commission. Just like that. The end.

    But-but the Smiler is a shrewd businessman and not at all a petty tin-pot dictator! (/Media Flak)

  104. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2012 at 16:04

    I know that teabaggers would never let facts influence the way they think. Which is too bad, cause they could really use this information.

  105. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 16:28

    Rmoney, SUPERGENIUS:

    When the Republican presidential nominee arrived in Florida late Tuesday, his campaign quickly issued a statement saying that Mr. Romney was outraged by the violence and suggesting that the administration’s “first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.”

    This guy is actually still has a chance in this race. Congratulations, America.

  106. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 16:33

    And that right there should be the death of the “faith not acts” doctrine. Should be, and maybe would be if any of them ever took a break from worshiping Jesus long enough to actually listen to him.

    “Faith not acts” always seemed like this really convenient way to get out of having to give a shit about your fellow human beings. Whenever someone goes on and on about his special relationship with Gawd and how Jeebus speaks to him every day etc. etc., I just know that it’s a closed-circuit communication that doesn’t require any messy interaction with “the least of these.”

  107. Golem Heart said,

    September 12, 2012 at 16:45

    I would de-emphasize a number of questions typically associated with abortion: When does personhood begin? When does the soul (if any) take occupancy? Does a given creature feel pain? Is it not wrong to take an innocent human life? These questions (and others like them) can overshadow the incontrovertible fact that God-fearing Americans will assent under certain circumstances to the painful killing of innocent people presumed to have souls.

    Instead I’d emphasize that a pregnant woman’s situation has no parallel in the rest of human experience. None whatsoever. There is one human situation that bears comparison — hosting a parasite — but the analogy is flawed, in that it does nothing to address pregnancy as reproduction. That’s quite an elephant in the parasitism room, both biologically and morally.

    In sum, I propose that the pregnant woman’s situation is unlike any other, and that she can kill whatever it is that’s growing inside her. The task is to doggedly deflect false analogies and comparisons and red herrings. Another important angle would be to refute concepts of natural or God-given rights. We invent rights and all sorts of situational ethics, and I for one refuse to argue abortion as if this is not the case.

  108. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 16:46

    Hipsters are not only not radical, they’re reactionary.

    The free ones certainly are.

  109. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 16:50

    Cerberus never gives me credit FOR ANYTHING.

  110. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:16

    Raise your hand if you’re sick to death of abortion being a campaign issue and wish everyone would just shut the fuck up about it.

    Next up: Rural electrification and the role of the federal government…

  111. Chris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:25

    When the Republican presidential nominee arrived in Florida late Tuesday, his campaign quickly issued a statement saying that Mr. Romney was outraged by the violence and suggesting that the administration’s “first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.”

    Just for the record (shocking I know), he’s lying. The statement he’s referring to was the embassy issuing a statement condemning Terry Jones’ movie, hours before anything happened to either embassy. Everything that’s come since the attacks started has been condemnation in no uncertain terms.

  112. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:27

    At the risk of pulling a “no true Scotsman”, I would submit to the priest in question that by definition a hippy would not make a bomb and nobody making a bomb can be a true hippy: true hippies would be spending too much of their time on drugs and having sex to actually be able to make a bomb.

  113. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:32

    My dad used to talk about feeding mom elder berries

    And your mother smells of elder berries …

    Speaking of Monty Python, in honor of Murray winning a grand slam title (even if not Wimbledon), shouldn’t someone have posted a link to the Blancmange episode by now (too busy to do so myself, so I’ll be like J-Load and ask someone else to do my web-based dirty work) …

  114. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:36

    Just for the record (shocking I know), he’s lying.

    Business as usual, make up a bunch of bullshit and release it, then double down later on, let the media machine nuance it into red meat for ignorant bullet heads. It works. That’s what’s kept Rmoney in this fucking thing, considering he’s a tax dodger, never served in the military (something right wingers LOVE to concern troll in Democrats), has no plans, knows nothing about much of anything besides how to exsanguinate businesses.

  115. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:55

    Next up: Rural electrification and the role of the federal government…

    So this morning on Nice Polite Repulicans, I caught a bit about water flouridation in Portland (?), where it’s apparently being fought. Somebody else got the WA state supreme court to strike down a regulation to add flouride to water in Pierce county (Tacoma area).

    Dammit, Obama needs to put down the time machine. He’s moved us into the fuckin’ 50s.

  116. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2012 at 17:58

    Blancmange

  117. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:05

    t’ll be filmed in Arkansas, I hope.

    It was filmed in 1974 in Canada:

    The residents of a suburban high-rise apartment building are being infected by a strain of parasites that turn them into mindless, sex-crazed fiends out to infect others by the slightest sexual contact.

  118. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:05

    So this morning on Nice Polite Repulicans, I caught a bit about water flouridation in Portland (?), where it’s apparently being fought. Somebody else got the WA state supreme court to strike down a regulation to add flouride to water in Pierce county (Tacoma area).

    Heh, this could be the answer to forcing regulations on the fracking natural gas companies to stop them from poisoning our water supplies. All we have to do is start a propaganda campaign saying that flouride is among the 500+ chemicals that these companies are injecting into our water supply.

  119. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:14

    While there are some anti-fluoridaters of the General Ripper sort here, many of the antis are concerned that it will affect the beer. I have no idea whether that is a reasonable fear and I won’t be arsed to research it. Suffice to say, we take our beer very, very, very seriously.

  120. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:16

    Fuck, my coworker is blaring Limpballs at full volume and is responding to the glares and scowls from the rest of us with smirks and self-satisfaction.

    Limpballs is one of the few blowhards who pisses me off so much I’m inspired to violence. And now, of course, he’s blaming Obama not only for the embassy violence in N. Africa, but for being a seekret Muslin and badmouthing the 1st Amendment.

    I think I’m gonna have to go smash a radio.

  121. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:27

    The Atlantic on the Sam Bacile film that inspired the violence in Cairo and Benghazi.

    It seems to me that if you have seen in the past that people will react to your words with deadly force, and then you proceed to intentionally provoke them, and people die as a result, then you bear some of the blame for murder. Sure, you have the right to say those things, but you also bear the responsibility for the consequences.

    Of course, Malkin’s reaction is predictable.

  122. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:31

    I didn’t think there was anything that would make me despise Romney more. I was wrong. In sheer levels of loathsomeness, this guy is rapidly sinking below Nixon.

  123. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:39

    Cow Orker’s boss just came over and had a word with him; radio is now off and he’s pouting.

    Not as satisfying as smashing a radio, but I’ll take it.

    This is a person who has a bumper sticker reading “Hussein will never be MY president” and whose screensaver is a parody of the Obama HOPE portrait reading “HOPE (you don’t wind up in a detainment camp).”

    This is in a small company of 40 people whose owners send their kids to a Waldorf Academy and who have Pacifica Radio bumper stickers on their cars.

  124. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:41

    It seems to me that if you have seen in the past that people will react to your words with deadly force, and then you proceed to intentionally provoke them, and people die as a result, then you bear some of the blame for murder. Sure, you have the right to say those things, but you also bear the responsibility for the consequences.

    Balls. That’s like telling a rape victim it’s her fault she wore tight jeans. I don’t give a shit how “offended” you are, you do not have the right to use violence against someone whose only “crime” was using words and pictures. Much less use violence against anyone who HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH the shit that offended you. Much less the representative of a nation whose support played a large role in RIDDING YOUR COUNTRY OF A HORRIBLE DICTATOR.

    Sorry. Some things just set me into all-caps mode.

  125. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:45

    The residents of a suburban high-rise apartment building are being infected by a strain of parasites that turn them into mindless, sex-crazed fiends out to infect others by the slightest sexual contact.

    Dang! How come a disease like this didn’t infect all the cute young ladies back when I went to college?

  126. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:57

    Sorry, your rape analogy is bullshit.

    In this case, the victim is a third party.

    In your analogy, the victim is the first party. I agree with you as far as this, even if you walk into a biker bar and get drunk and start bragging about how much you love to be gangbanged, you can still claim rape the next morning, provided you say NO when shit gets serious.

    But if you crank call a biker bar and start talking shit like “I’m a member of [insert other bike gang name here] and you’re a bunch of pussies, and you all love to blow goats,” etc., and then they go off and beat the shit out of the other biker gang, then you have incited violence and bear some responsibility.

  127. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 18:59

    Sorry, but your analogy is bullshit too. It would only be valid if the guy making that shitass video had put “Approved by the U.S. Embassy in Libya” in the opening credits.

  128. Golem Heart said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:03

    “Cow Orker’s boss just came over and had a word with him; radio is now off and he’s pouting.”

    What a tosser. My bet is that he’ll chalk this up as an example of liberal perfidy. Censorship, or whatever, but the exact label is unimportant since it’ll be bullshit regardless.

  129. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:06

    Exactly! The violence wasn’t in response to anything the embassy did. The violence was in response to what someone else did. Something the embassy had no control over.

  130. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:13

    In any case, although I wish it wasn’t this guy doing it, people should be making films that offend the religious.

  131. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:14

    Somebody else got the WA state supreme court to strike down a regulation to add flouride to water in Pierce county (Tacoma area).

    Yeah, following the Spokane County lead. I don’t know what the fuck the anti-flouride people are on about all the fucking time. Flouride has had a good track record for public health, but they have managed to make up an awful lot of stories about the mass slaughter of children who ingested it.

    It’s usually the lefty types who are the most adamant about it–anecdotally speaking, of course.

  132. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:23

    Caption Contest:

    Mine: “It’s all going according to plan.”

  133. Andrew said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:33

    Legal Inssurrectile Dysfunction has quite a doozy today:

    http://legalinsurrection.com/2012/09/dead-ambassador-dragged-through-streets-msm-furious-at-romney-criticism-of-obama/

    Shorter Col. Mustard: The Emm-Ess-Emm should be ashamed of itself for injecting the presidential race into the US consulate attack by covering Romney’s injection of the presidential race into the US consulate attack.

  134. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:37

    It’s usually the lefty types who are the most adamant about it–anecdotally speaking, of course.

    Wait, tsam, I’m confused…are you saying the lefty types are the ones against fluoride? Because that wasn’t true in my experience. Fluoride opponents have always, in my experience, John Birch types who claim it’s a commie plot to brainwash our kids.

    Unless things changed while I wasn’t looking. I could see some lefty idiots being against fluoridation the way some are against vaccination.

  135. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:40

    Romney is on Google+

    Don’t laugh. He’ll be able to reach out to dozens of people. Dozens!

  136. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:41

    In any case, although I wish it wasn’t this guy doing it, people should be making films that offend the religious.

    Agreed. Though there’s a big difference between Religiousity and this pile of shit that seems to have been designed to provoke a violent response.

  137. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:47

    Wait, tsam, I’m confused…are you saying the lefty types are the ones against fluoride?

    Those are the ones I’ve encountered here. A good friend of mine–Occupy protesting filthy hippy whose wife is a union thug teacher, ALEC hater… and a few of his liberal type friends won’t shutup about it.

    I know the birchers are all into this “mass medication” shit and hate flouride too, but I think the leftist hatred of it was spawned by some belief that the flouride used is actually a chemical reagent (waste product, more specifically) that is dumped into the water and has far reaching effects beyond letting people keep their teeth into adulthood. Again, this is strictly anecdotal, and these guys may be the exception to the rule. When he goes on about it, I tune him out pretty quickly since I’m still mad that flouride got removed from our municipal supply when my kids were little and we had to go buy flouride drops to supplement their needs. My water bill didn’t go down when they stopped flouridating, but my medicine bill went up.

    I think there may have been GODDAMN KIDS ON MY LAWN, TOO!

  138. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:48

    Also, Harry Potter did a bangup job of offending the religious, which provided me with many happy LOLZ.

  139. Andrew said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:48

    In re fluoridation and the left:

    Fluoride: Commie Plot or Capitalist Ploy
    by Joel Griffiths
    From Covert Action Quarterly, Fall 1992, Number 42

    Not necessarily promoting this view just pointing out that it exists.

  140. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:49

    There’s a convergence between new age hippie health and black helicopters. The Man can put you in FEMA camps or make your kids autistic with vaccines.

  141. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:51

    From Andrew’s link:

    Beginning early this morning, when news was just breaking, the left-blogosphere and mainstream media, led by MSNBC, has attempted to shift the focus from the Obama administration’s failure to protect our embassies

    Because when the last guy failed to protect actual American soil, well, that’s different because shut up. Also, a mango:

    The Founders are rolling over and over in their graves.

    I doubt they imagined a day when the entire “press” would give itself over, body and soul, to an alien philosophy obsessed with crushing the liberty that was so hard-won, and the Constitution that followed.

    These are dire days for the Republic.

    Questions: (1) what “alien philosophy?” (2) If it’s “crushing liberty” you’re concerned with, than how do you feel about the so-called “voter fraud” laws? (3) you do know changes to the Constitution require a vote by Congress, right? (4) why paraphrase Star Wars when you know you never like the movie until a Democrat was elected into office?

    Ye gods.

  142. Pupienus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:52

    I’m with tsam on this. I fully support pointing and laughing at the religious but this guy wasn’t out to just offend. It’s pretty clear – by the fact of providing an Arabic language version – that he wanted to enrage them. Given the previous Muslim reactions to such things – the Danish cartoonist etc. – he surely knew to expect violence to result. One might reasonably suspect that violence is exactly what he intended. “See! Look how them Muslins is all violent and shit!” Which, btw, is pretty much exactly bughunter’s biker bar scenario saving only the specificity of the intended target of the violence.

  143. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:52

    YES–from Andrew’s link. They call it mine tailings. Which is funny because the whole Inland Northwest was a mining center for 100 years and our entire watershed, mountains to the Columbia delta, is LOADED with mercury, lead and other toxic mine byproducts.

    I don’t know. The whole thing seems like the con-trail fears to me.

  144. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:55

    Not necessarily promoting this view just pointing out that it exists.

    Also from the “It Exists” files.

  145. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:56

    There’s a convergence between new age hippie health and black helicopters. The Man can put you in FEMA camps or make your kids autistic with vaccines.

    There we go–explained. This is what I’ve observed.

  146. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 19:59

    designed to provoke a violent response

    Which would then be exploited for partisan political gain.

    Not just despicable, but hypocritical and downright sociopathic.

    You can’t produce something like this and say “Oh, well my hands are clean here because they’re just violent barbarians and therefore they deserve all the blame.” You *knew* they’d react this way, and even if you couldn’t predict a specific outcome, your words and images put a match to what you knew was a tinderbox, and you did it intentionally.

    It doesn’t lessen the culpability of the rioters and murderers one whit, nonetheless, it’s still an evil thing to do.

  147. Chris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:01

    There’s a convergence between new age hippie health and black helicopters. The Man can put you in FEMA camps or make your kids autistic with vaccines.

    I agree – lunatic conspiracist extremists tend to converge together past a certain point. Was reading PJMedia last night (the post-9/11 death porn stuff) and there were quite a few comments that were sobbing about the loss of our liberties since 9/11. With even some blaming of Bush for the TSA, DHS and all that, phrased of course as “don’t create a massive bureaucracy like that ever again, because even if you have the best intentions, some liberal will take them and use them against your FREEEEEHEEEEEHEEDUUMBS!!!”

    And you know, it’s really funny, because I remember using that EXACT argument against them back in the Bush years – “sure, maybe you trust Bush with all these powers, but he won’t be in power forever! Would you trust someone else with these powers?” The answers back then were overwhelmingly “oh yeah, I totally trust Bush! Uhh… uhhh… uhhh… central to my point… shut up, alright?”

  148. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:01

    I’m with tsam on this.

    Yeah, it’s reasonable, and there’s certainly a way in which picking on The Other from afar is unseemly anyway. Nevertheless, Saudi Arabia.

    Maybe it would be consoling to have a new-age hippie belief in karma or something.

    http://boingboing.net/2012/09/10/heres-a-drawing-of-a-torture.html

  149. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:02

    GODDAMN KIDS ON MY LAWN

    Uh. Pops, those are your grandchildren. Now calm down and take your Geritol.

    I put Whisky in it the way you like it.

  150. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:07

    (1) what “alien philosophy?”

    The Vulcan Surak’s philosophy of emotional-suppression?

  151. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:24

    From the Washington Post, this is the statement that Romney was attacking, pre-smirk:

    During the protest in Cairo but hours before the attacks in Libya, the U.S. Embassy in Cairo issued a statement saying that it condemns “the continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the religious feelings of Muslims — as we condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions.”

    This is essentially what tsam, Pupenius, and I have said in this thread, but watered down into such wishy-washy, diplomatic language that its meaning is changed to include all criticism and satire of religion, not just inciteful* libel. It was a pretty damn stupid thing to say, but in my opinion for different reasons that Romney, Limbaugh, etc. are suggesting.

    (*Hmm… Insightful vs Inciteful. Must ponder where that venn diagram intersects…)

  152. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:30

    Insightful vs Inciteful. Must ponder where that venn diagram intersects

    I have a gut feeling that Sarah Silverman and Bill Maher are involved.

  153. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:32

    This is essentially what tsam, Pupenius, and I have said in this thread, but watered down into such wishy-washy, diplomatic language that its meaning is changed to include all criticism and satire of religion, not just inciteful* libel. It was a pretty damn stupid thing to say, but in my opinion for different reasons that Romney, Limbaugh, etc. are suggesting.

    It’s also a statement by a bunch of trapped individuals trying desperately to defuse the murderous intentions of a mob. Did Romney even know the context of this statement? He’d say anything to get elected president, wouldn’t he be even more outrageous if he had to save his ass?

    From what I’ve seen of his pandering, he would have converted to Islam on the spot and burned the American flag himself.

  154. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:35

    It’s also a statement by a bunch of trapped individuals trying desperately to defuse the murderous intentions of a mob.

    Right. There exists diplomacy.

  155. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:38

    Hey BBBB, you should get Rumproast to make a comments RSS feed.

  156. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:42

    I just wanna echo what Alex said upthread. And here’s a great blog entry saying essentially the same thing.

  157. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:43

    This summary notes it isn’t a reaction to the film’s distribution or showing or anything…

    http://boingboing.net/2012/09/12/crappy-low-budget-youtube-tra.html

    It’s a reaction to a YouTube trailer. There’s worse on YouTube. So filmmakey guy, while clearly an asshole, is a nonentity while the rage of crowds has been whipped up by cynical bad guys.

  158. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:44

    Redirects to a login, VS.

    Which I can try if you like.

  159. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:45

    Oops. Lemme try again.

  160. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:49

    Also I made an Emoboner today.

  161. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 20:56

    SM’s bb link:

    Sam Bacile is an Israeli filmmaker based in California who made an independently produced and financed anti-Muslim movie that’s sort of “Birth of a Nation” meets “Bed Intruder.” The YouTube trailer is embedded above, and it unapologetically attacks Islam’s prophet Muhammad. Bacile has no known prior history as a filmmaker.

    Say, one might call Sam there an ImBacile.

  162. Chris said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:02

    Say, one might call Sam there an ImBacile.

    That was my first reaction. Is that really his name? His years in middle school must have been a living hell.

  163. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:10

    His years in middle school must have been a living hell.

    Some refer to it as “an origin story.”

  164. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:11

    Bacile is a real estate developer in California who identifies as an Israeli Jew. “Islam is a cancer, period,” he told the AP.

    Real estate developers & landlords are the greatest cancer on the planet of all time, bar none, & I say it’s about time we started RPGing their greedy asses, ugly developments & the people who live in them.

    Why should the Muslins have all the fun?

  165. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:13

    OK, immoderate. But can we send the fuck back to Israel?

  166. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:25

    I say it’s about time we started RPGing their greedy asses

    Ooo! Oooh! I’ll play Dungeons and Landlords!

    I’ll be teh dwarf. Carlos the Dwarf.

  167. El Manquécito said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:25

    “The only thing worse than having a landlord is being a landlord.”

    I hope this is true but Sartre was never big on truth for its own sake.

  168. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:31

    So I take everyone here has seen the picture of Romney walking out of today’s press conference looking like a man who just got blown by Kate Upton on his way to get blown by Kelly Brook?

  169. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:32

    I want to be a mage!

    You should see my plus 3 “Housing Authority rejects your planned Phase II” spell.
    ~

  170. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:32

    emoboner

    That’s awesome, vs. It’s begging for a caption.

    (And maybe a tear.)

    Something like “Emo Boehner hates it when you mispronounce his name.”

  171. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:33

    So I take everyone here has seen the picture of Romney walking out of today’s press conference looking like a man who just got blown by Kate Upton on his way to get blown by Kelly Brook?

    I was expecting a quick cut to the Legion of Doom headquarters, where Romney would be reporting the success of his speech to Lex Luthor and Gorilla Grodd.

  172. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:36

    That “filmmaker” may very well be the world’s biggest asshole, but as far as I’m concerned, that became irrelevant once the violence and killing started. No one, I repeat NO ONE, has the right to react violently because his religion or any other aspect of his life is “insulted.” Parsing the provocateur’s responsibility is just a distraction from that issue, IMO.

  173. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:37

    It’s pretty great.

  174. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:38

    That’s awesome, vs. It’s begging for a caption.

    (And maybe a tear.)

    Something like “Emo Boehner hates it when you mispronounce his name.”

    Ha! Yeah, I think I may have to add a tear and earring.

  175. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:41

    Have a tear.

  176. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:43

    Ha–thanks!

  177. DAS said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:48

    In re, “it exists” … let’s be careful about where we go in terms of linking to stuff just because it exists. Remember Rule 34, please. Do we really want to click on links at Sadly, No! and end up reading water fluoridation slash porn involving a Bircher and an anti-vacciner getting it on?

    Anyway, I can’t be bothered to get the links (busy applying for tenure), but there were some studies done recently about the effects of fluoridated water on tooth chemistry and essentially during the amount of time your water comes into contact with your teeth while you drink it, there really isn’t much penetration (heh, heh, he said penetration) of the fluoride beyond the surface of your enamel (i.e. not even much into the enamel itself).

    Brushing your teeth is another story (probably even swishing the water around in your mouth, I guess). But if you even swish water around in your mouth, you probably at least brush your teeth sometimes.

    The take home lesson is that the Birchers were wrong about fluoridation — it won’t turn you communist. But the lefties may be on to something about it … it might just be a useless way to enrich the pockets of some people. Fluoridation won’t hurt anybody, but there are probably better ways to go about improving dental health than mass fluoridation.

  178. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:52

    No one, I repeat NO ONE, has the right to react violently because his religion or any other aspect of his life is “insulted.”

    No one here is implying that. Assigning blame to the incitement does not remove any blame from those who committed the act. There is no “zero sum blame game,” no law of conservation of culpability.

    I condemn all the motherfuckers, all the way up the line, also including Jones, Malkin, Gellar, and the like for promoting and popularizing the kind of bigotry and intolerance to the point where some people think it’s virtuous to hold opinions like that, and other people are willing to tolerate them.

  179. Another Kiwi said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:53

    I saw this yesterday by coincidence. Billy Connolly, FFS, sums it up.
    Screw the lot of them with their religious ‘sensibilities’. I will have none of it.
    Screw Romney for his braindead response, accusing Obama of dancing on graves.

  180. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 21:53

    I had a Czech friend who had a straight brown line across his teeth. At some point in his youth the then-communist regime mandated some kind of flouride tablet. They stopped fairly quickly and that was that.

  181. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:13

    Billy Connolly, FFS, sums it up

    Agree entirely. Gimme two firebreathin’ hoors any dayathaweek!

    Err, I mean Fuck the lot of ‘em.

    Um, the religions, that is…

    (Also, Mackey at the NYT digs deep into the jungles on both continents, identifying the players in the brewing shitflinging contest between US and Egyptian hatemongers. Fuck the lot of ‘em.)

  182. Pryme said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:16

    So who’s up for World War III? Any takers?

  183. Golem Heart said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:16

    Real estate developers & landlords are the greatest cancer on the planet of all time, bar none, & I say it’s about time we started RPGing their greedy asses, ugly developments & the people who live in them.

    I’d say the appropriate RPG would be Papers & Paychecks, but per the caption it involves workers and students, not capitalist fuckwits.

  184. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:17

    No one, I repeat NO ONE, has the right to react violently because his religion or any other aspect of his life is “insulted.”

    Well, that’s the flipside to the argument, and it’s a valid point. I still maintain that there is a huge distinction between things like Religiosity and bullshit like this that is a deliberate incitement.

    On the other hand, WHY the fuck should a filmmaker or cartoonist feel as if he/she should choose words carefully or completely censor an idea because violence might ensue? Who won that battle? The fucking thugs that kill people for the sake of killing. Let’s not kid ourselves, people who do these things don’t do it because of the religion. If they did, they would know enough about the religion to know that murder is not sanctioned by it. No, they do it because they’re racist fascists, not really any different from Jones. I don’t know what the answer is. I guess if you’re going to draw pictures of their magic fairy Mohammed–YEAH I FUCKING SAID, FUCK YOUR STUPID SKY FAIRY, you have to be able to live with somebody killing somebody over it. Now we have four dead people, and I don’t know about any of you, but I would certainly feel a some responsibility for that.

  185. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:27

    Late to the game…

    Obviously the 1st amendment is U.S. only law, but let’s look at what would happen if his were a purely domestic event: there are two big exceptions to the 1st, best described as “yelling fire in a crowded theater” and “fighting words”. This event comes under the heading of fighting words. The mob was, IMO, wrong, but so were the assholes who set out to create an angry mob…and our own laws bck me on that.

  186. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:31

    So who’s up for World War III? Any takers?

    1– It was ordinary citizens who committed the murders. That’s not an act of war, Monica, you stupid whore.

    2– President Dwight D. Eisenhower:

    Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not even listen to anyone seriously that came and talked about such a thing.

    3– Bitch, go make me a fucking sammich.

  187. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:31

    It’s clear that the filmmaker in question wants to sit every Muslim down and tie them down Clockwork-Orange style while the film plays. But he didn’t do that, nearly nobody’s seen the film, and obviously there’s worse out there. He really really really wants to be culpable but he’s barely a player in the drama except after the attacks.

  188. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:39

    It is a sad day on teh internets when a Freaks and Geeks reference goes whoosh.

  189. bughunter said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:40

    I wish Eisenhower was president on 9/11.

    Even a zombie Eisenhower.

  190. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:42

    Monica, you stupid whore.

    Bitch, go make me a fucking sammich.

    I’m sorry, but are these really necessary?

    There’s plenty to insult about her without going for sexism (which insults all women).

  191. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:43

    You forget who frequents this blog, Spear?

  192. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:49

    I’m sorry, but is the concern trolling necessary? (No, I’m not going to let this go)

    I think you know me better than to call me a sexist. Your statement implies that you’re taking me seriously, which isn’t recommended around here. I shouldn’t have to tell you that.

  193. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:51

    There are no heroes here. The guy who made the film. Hope he’s happy. People dead now, ‘cuz he just HAD to be a douche. And the people who killed because of their dumb fairy tales? There aren’t words…

  194. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:54

    I’m a hero. I have been bitching on the internet ALL DAY.

  195. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:55

    I remember when the Danish cartoons came out, there was a kerfuffle exactly like this one on the blog of the late Steve Gilliard (PBOH). Tough issues.

    Although I think we can all agree on one thing: Mittens has revealed himself to be even more of a disgusting, petty, vile, mealymouthed piece of shit than most people even imagined.

    (Also, FYWP)

  196. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:58

    I didn’t call you a sexist. I said those particular comments were sexist. We all make mistakes, and I personally appreciate it when I’m called out on mine. I’d like to think I hold myself and the people on my side to a higher standard than I do for wingnuts.

    I realise you weren’t serious, but there was no particular punchline to those jokes other than “Hur hur. She’s a woman.” If you wouldn’t say the same thing to or about a man, then I think it’s worth examining whether or not it’s an insult to a women or women in general.

  197. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 22:58

    I’m a hero. I have been bitching on the internet ALL DAY.

    Keyboard warriors are the true heroes!

  198. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:05

    I’m a hero. I’ve been reading tsam bitching on the Internet ALL DAY.

  199. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:06

    It was meant to match the ignorant stupidity and gross simplicity of her comments. Her comments had no punchline other than “KILL THE FUCKERS”.

    My comment was meant to mimic the level of discourse. Again, I think if you ask around, nobody who knows me very well would be offended by that.

  200. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:07

    I’m a hero. I’ve been reading tsam bitching on the Internet ALL DAY.

    That IS heroic. I owe you a drink.

  201. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:08

    The guy who made the film. Hope he’s happy

    Sounds like he’s pretty proud of himself. To be expected of any zealot.

  202. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:09

    tsam is one of the least sexist people I know, pretty much, though his potty mouth does get into gendered-insult territory. I’ve always ignored it because I guess I have battles to fight and he’s not a battle.

  203. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:09

    Whatcha gonna do with the Emoboehner, VS? Blow up his twitter? That’s more of a suggestion than a question…

  204. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:10

    Sounds like he’s pretty proud of himself. To be expected of any zealot.

    Not too proud to not go into hiding.

  205. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:11

    Ooh…VS thinks tsam is the least sexy man she knows. FIGHT! FIGHT!

  206. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:12

    Whatcha gonna do with the Emoboehner, VS? Blow up his twitter? That’s more of a suggestion than a question…

    Ha ha ha! Oddly, I’ve often found Boner to be a tragic figure. I suspect he may be more of an old-style Repug, and is unsure how to deal with the Cantors and Akins of the world.

  207. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:12

    Can I just say I hate gendered insults in general and be done with it?

  208. Golem Heart said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:12

    Mittens has revealed himself to be even more of a disgusting, petty, vile, mealymouthed piece of shit than most people even imagined.

    I say one thing for him, he continues to surprise me in this regard.

    Even his smiles can get more Smilerly. He’s spending a hundred million a month to convince people he’s a sociopath.

  209. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:17

    Spear, I don’t like ‘em either. Totally get where you’re coming from. I think that tsam is often exempted from the rules because he truly just a lovely person. We know his heart, so we ignore (those particular) words.

    (Sorry for talking about you in the third person, tsam.)

  210. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:19

    Ooh…VS thinks tsam is the least sexy man she knows. FIGHT! FIGHT!

    Now VS is going to have to do an EmoTsam.

  211. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:26

    No one, I repeat NO ONE, has the right to react violently because his religion or any other aspect of his life is “insulted.”

    In the real world, might makes rights. How long until a collection of crackers decides to do the same to dirty liberals in the U.S. who’ve been trash-talking Jebus, the Pope, or Billy Graham?

  212. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:29

    Can I just say I hate gendered insults in general and be done with it?

    Me too. Why is it when calling humans out on what pieces of shit they are men are usually called “assholes” & women called “bitches?” Equal Opportunity Insulting!!

  213. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:29

    Can I just say I hate gendered insults in general and be done with it?

    Yeah, I get it. We’re done with it.

  214. Some Irish Fuck said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:33

    What about if I call the lot o’ yez a buncha coonts then?

  215. tsam said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:39

    I guess my final word on it is this: I get offended by things I read on here too. I move to the next comment and don’t worry too fucking much about it.

  216. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:45

    Spearhafoc,

    It’s meta. I am reminded of the time Teh Ho and I were chatting, drinking, and probably smoking teh wacky weed, with our militant dyke houseguest who was also a HR VP. We got started discussing racist “jokes” which led to Teh Ho and I repeating a few Mescan “jokes” as evidence of how stupid they are. Teh Ho set one up with “why don’t Mexicans” somethingorother and finsihed it with “because they’re stupid!” We laughed heartily. Our houseguest was apalled because she didn’t understand the meta aspect. We tried explaining that it was funny because the target was people who tell such “jokes.” tsam went meta in a slightly different way – the comment was essentially a mirror to whatshername’s typical shtick.

  217. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:48

    In the real world, might makes rights. How long until a collection of crackers decides to do the same to dirty liberals in the U.S. who’ve been trash-talking Jebus, the Pope, or Billy Graham?

    You should ask Jessica Ahlquist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsMemDwkQng

  218. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:50

    http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3qvq36/

  219. vacuumslayer said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:50

    tsam as least sexy? Not a contender.

    Boner? Yes. Very much. But he’s got SO MUCH FUCKING COMPETITION. I’d start with Reince Preibus, which sounds like something I would like rinse from a preibus. What’s a preibus? YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

  220. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:51

    I am okay with being called out in comments. Well maybe not okay, but I should be able to take my medicine now and again.

  221. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:51

    just dropped in to announce that soucheray is having a totalspazmeltdown over this as are many of the morons who take his show seriously…at least nobody has mentioned lefse…

  222. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:52

    http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3qvq36/

    That meme is oh so quick.

  223. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:52

    I am okay with being called out in comments. Well maybe not okay, but I should be able to take my medicine now and again.

    alrighty then…bend over, please…

    HA HA…y’all have missed me, haven’t you?!?!?

  224. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:54

    If you want to find out just how affecting the goatse really is…

  225. N__B said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:54

    Jebus, the Pope, or Billy Graham?

    That’s that awful song they used to play at baseball games, isn’t it? Talkin’ goofballs…

  226. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:54

    All you fuckers are offending me, and I AM NOT GONNA FORGET IT!!!
    ~

  227. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:56

    That’s that awful song they used to play at baseball games, isn’t it? Talkin’ goofballs…

    put me in, coach?

  228. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2012 at 23:57

    All you fuckers are offending me, and I AM NOT GONNA FORGET IT!!!

    well, i heard on the mid-day farm report that corn was defensive today, as were most commodities, so…take a number, i guess…

  229. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:04

    That’s that awful song they used to play at baseball games, isn’t it? Talkin’ goofballs…

    put me in, coach?

    Coach put it in me, at the Catholic school games.

  230. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:05

    Even his smiles can get more Smilerly. He’s spending a hundred million a month to convince people he’s a sociopath.

    Many of Romney’s actions make more sense when you realise that he’s trying to demonstrate that he’s not bound by the First Law of Robotics.

  231. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:08

    tsam is one of the least sexist kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful people I know, pretty much, though his potty mouth does get into gendered-insult territory.

    Fixxed for more traditionality.

  232. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:09

    The zeroth law freed the robots from first-law tyranny.

    Duh.

  233. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:09

    Mmmmmmm, lefse.

    It is hilarious how, by suggesting the teacher might be more successful by making sure everyone understands WTF she is saying, the Principal is OUTLAWING ALL MENTION OF PEANUT BUTTER SAMMICHES! When the only quote they print is her suggesting the teacher say “In America we like pb&j’s.” Jebus fooking gawd are these people stupid.

  234. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:14

    haienjhcghebvl

  235. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:18

    Many of Romney’s actions make more sense when you realise that he’s trying to demonstrate that he’s not bound by the First Law of Robotics playing both parts in Fondly Fahrenheit

  236. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:18

    tsam is one of the least sexist kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful people I know

    And he’s had struggles, not financial struggles, but he knows how all you commoners have troubles in your sad little lives.

  237. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:21

    Coach put it in me, at the Catholic school games.

    Also Penn State. Too.

  238. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:30

    Speaking (obliquely) of censoring political speech — my little town of Corvallis is in the middle of a small international kerfluffle over a mural a local business owner painted on his building. The articles linked don’t include the mural so here’s a GIS for it. It’s right on a busy street in the middle of downtown, but faces away from the main one-way street traffic — I’d never even noticed it.

  239. John Revolta said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:30

    Those two pictures of Rmoney (and everybody in the country needs to see that shit) are very very reminiscent of Brando’s funeral speech over Caesar in the movie, when Antony turns away from the rioting crowd and his face shows something very different. I guess life imitates art or sumthin’.

  240. vacuumslayer said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:31

    tsam is one of the least sexist kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful people I know

    And he’s had struggles, not financial struggles,

    One time a cop pulled him over and told him he was going too fast and his dick was too big. THESE ARE SERIOUS ISSUES.

  241. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:37

    gendered-insult territory

    I’ve been through there. It’s between Dalhart and Tucumcari.

  242. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:38

    Is it OK to call Monica Crowley a “Nugget guzzling knobgargler”? AFAF.

  243. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:39

    I saw Walken in stage as Iago. The first scene, he had this huge shiteating grin on his face and was literally backslapping Ohello. (Keith David) Then O walks off stage, the grin disappeared and was replaced with Walken’s patented death’s head stare and he began his first monologue… “I hate the Moor…”

    My blood ran cold.

  244. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:41

    Excuse me. I just conflated two Walken sightings. Raul Julia was Othello. Keith David starred with Walken in Corilianus.

  245. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:43

    One time a cop pulled him over and told him he was going too fast and his dick was too big

    And called him Mr. Bigdick!! True story.

    OBS I think your friend could stick to “Crowley is a dissembling dipshit who has never been prosecuted for cocaine abuse”

  246. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:46

    One time a cop pulled him over and told him he was going too fast and his dick was too big.

    He just wanted to get a look at my dick. So I let him. I figure, why not, right? YOLO.

  247. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:47

    I should be able to take my medicine now and again.

    That’s what I say too, but the Frau Doktorin is all “Lay off before midday or you’ll never get any work done.”

  248. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:50

    You should ask Jessica Ahlquist.

    As I remarked to some idjits at the Daily Tucker, no, you Xians don’t riot, you just kill doctors, bomb medical facilities & shoot up churches. Eventually you’ll get to the rioting w/ RPGs.

  249. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:51

    Is it OK to call Monica Crowley a “Nugget guzzling knobgargler”? AFAF.

    I guess, though I don’t see the point in complimenting her. Cocksucking is a noble pastime.

  250. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:53

    I should be able to take my medicine now and again.
    Bend over, here comes your medicine.

  251. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:53

    Thanks AK, but if I, I mean my friend, wanted something that long they’d go with “festering hemorrhoid on the asshole of humanity”

    FYI: The current front runner is now “deepfried buttflower.”

  252. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:54

    Excuse me. I just conflated two Walken sightings. Raul Julia was Othello. Keith David starred with Walken in Corilianus.

    OMFG! This shall not stand. You sit are worse than Hitler, as played by William Shatner substituting in for Walken.

  253. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:54

    Oh damn you bbkf, & damn me for missing that. I swear I looked. (I swear a lot.)

  254. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:57

    The most chilling Iago I’ve ever seen was Don Knotts. Almost as sinister as Andy Devine’s performance as Richard III.

  255. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 0:58

    I should be able to take my medicine now and again.
    Also too, remember the third duty of a Scanner — “To use the wire of Eustace Cranch only with care, only with moderation.”

  256. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:02

    performance as Richard III
    I for one welcome our cloned scoliotic Plantagenet overlords.

  257. The Deepfried Buttflowers said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:04

    Sir, we are the hardest working band in Upper Aramoho and do not take kindly to having our good name besmirched.
    Sir
    P.S. Every Tuesday night at the Turakina Hotel, no cover charge.

  258. Golem Heart said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:05

    “And he’s had struggles, not financial struggles,”

    Ann Romney hasn’t considered how it’d feel to be sick and poor. I swear, this is like a classist version of some dumb-n-hoary thing white people say.

  259. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:09

    “Sarah Palin” on Facebook:

    Apparently President Obama can’t see Egypt and Libya from his house.

    A complete self-parody now.

  260. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:10

    But Scanners live in vain, so I don’t think that’s great advice.

  261. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:12

    Abraham Lincoln didn’t die in vain, he died in Washington D.C.

  262. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:12

    I don’t want to give Big Ho a hit so I will ask, what’s their take on left wing liberal Hollywood producing that piece of shit flick?

  263. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:15

    Sorry, I already deleted the daily Big Bright Barf e-mail. It was all about yesterday’s & today’s fun though.

  264. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:18

    “PLEASE SUPPORT CROOKS & LIARS BY REMOVING AD BLOCKING ON OUR SITE.”

    That would indeed be supporting actual crooks & liars. What is the matter w/ those people? And where do they get off knowing that I’m blocking that shit?

    Also, their video player is ugly.

  265. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:22

    How ’bout this from BB’s Big Hoes?

    D’Souza: Obama Camp’s Critique of ’2016′ a ‘Mix of Name Calling and False Allegations’

    Irony lies bleeding.

  266. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:23

    Apparently President Obama can’t see Egypt and Libya from his house

    Wouldn’t she a bit more worried if he thought that he could?
    Sorry, forgot that it was Queen Moosilini (ITTDGY 2010) we were talking about.
    Is it too late for her to parachute in, now? Romney just trod on his cock and did a castrating dive through a plate glass window with his bullshit about Cairo.

  267. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:28

    Wouldn’t she a bit more worried if he thought that he could?

    An LGM commenter notes that as he is in the White House he can probably see anywhere he wants to in Egypt or Libya right now with all the fancy-schmancy electronics and whatnot.

  268. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:30

    The surveillance is coming FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

  269. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:34

    Don’t ask again, I won’t stop:

    Hollywood Silent on Free Speech When Islamists Are Involved
    Where is Hollywood when free speech is overrun by murderous Islamists? They’re usually caterwauling about their own right to free speech, but just like the feminist movement, they somehow disappear when faced with Islamists who would counter their sentiments by blowing them up or (in the case of Christians in Egypt) crucifying them.

  270. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:36

    Where is Hollywood when free speech is overrun by murderous Islamists?

    Is it bad to hope the writer of this sentence is now dead?

  271. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:48

    My Dad is watching Murder She Wrote. I’m in the next room, but I can hear it fairly well.

    I heard one of the characters talking like a terrible over-the-top Shakespearean actor, and I peeked in to see what the hell was going on. I was shocked to learn that it was Patrick McGoohan (a dude who can actually act, normally anyway).

    I was doubly shocked when my dad informed me that the character was meant to be Canadian, and that the whole episode is set in Canada. Every single Canadian character on this show seems to be speaking in a British accent or an attempt at a British accent.

    Is this a stereotype I was unfamiliar with? I mean, it would be one think if they were all speaking like Bob and Doug McKenzie, but this is just baffling.

  272. tigris said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:54

    Apparently President Obama can’t see Egypt and Libya from his house

    Ha ha, it was so dumb when he said that. Also when he pretended to be an empty chair.

  273. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 13, 2012 at 1:59

    N__B said,
    September 13, 2012 at 0:41

    Excuse me. I just conflated two Walken sightings. Raul Julia was Othello. Keith David starred with Walken in Corilianus.

    TOO LATE. Now I will regard all your posts with hostile suspicion.

  274. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:00

    Ha ha, it was so dumb when he said that.
    He’s a big dummy. BTW he’s black. You ever notice that?

  275. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:03

    Every single Canadian character on this show seems to be speaking in a British accent or an attempt at a British accent.

    There is a certain type of Vancouverite who will speak with a (to my ear) upper-crust British accent so it’s not entirely unheard*-of.

    *SWIDT?

  276. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:05

    Spear, I chalk that up to us assuming you have a closer relationship to England than we do. *shrug*

    Also, we are silly.

  277. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:10

    Now I will regard all your posts with hostile suspicion.

    I can’t decide if this makes you more like a client or a relative.

  278. bughunter said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:13

    If my marriage is any indication, it makes her your wife.

  279. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:15

    Also, we are silly. What!:?!?!?! When did this happen?
    It’s all a part of the ebbul Englanders meme that was so popular in Hollywood.

  280. bughunter said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:36

    Shorter Wingtard Media: The Press are Colluding to make Mitt look like a Sociopath.

    From Lethally Ignorantnation:

    If there ever were a doubt, no matter how small, that the mainstream media is deeply in bed with the Obama campaign, the reaction to the killing of the U.S. Ambassador to Libya and several other Americans should put such doubt to rest.

    Beginning early this morning, when news was just breaking, the left-blogosphere and mainstream media, led by MSNBC, has attempted to shift the focus from the Obama administration’s failure to protect our embassies and for its apologies (both before and after the attack on the Cairo Embassy) to whether Mitt Romney was wrong to criticize Obama last night.

    Nope. There’s no story in the obvious politicization of a dead Ambassador. There’s no story in the obviously intentional incitement of the Muslim fundamentalist rabble, well-known to burn and kill over the most minor slight. Every reporter and every story must focus on only the tropes that WE –the holders of the only true opinions, the only real facts, and the one and only Christian God– deem newsworthy. Any departure from this script is collusion with the enemy, whose authority is invalid because he’s a nigDemocrat.

  281. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:39

    bughunter FTW.

  282. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:43

    He’s a backwards WTF?

  283. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:47

    I think everyone here is a backwards WTF–and that’s the way I like it!

  284. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:50

    That’s the way
    uh huh uh huh

  285. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:54

    I mean, it would be one think if they were all speaking like Bob and Doug McKenzie, but this is just baffling.

    Back when they were in the Royal Shakespeare Company, Bob and Doug McKenzie’s performances as Hamlet and Horatio were legendary.

  286. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:58

    Elsinore CSI was one of my favourite shows.

  287. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 2:59

    If anyone other than me is watching “Copper” it has its CSI:Five Points moments.

  288. tigris said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:03

    BTW he’s black. You ever notice that?

    *gasp* NO!!!

    Obama administration’s failure to protect our embassies

    Genius does realize they’re in other countries, right? That these two were the only attacks outside of a war-zone during Obama’s tenure? And that there were multiple death-causing attacks on embassies and consulates while Bush was in office?

  289. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:04

    Elsinore CSI was one of my favourite shows.

    David Caruso’s cross-dressing, wisecracking rendition of Ophelia was awe-inspiring.

  290. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:06

    And that there were multiple death-causing attacks on embassies and consulates while Bush was in office?

    There was a time for rallying-around-the-President, but the anniversary of 9/11 changed everything.

  291. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:06

    Images you will never see at the whingers’ sites. Also you won’t hearnthe story on Fux Noise. http://imgur.com/a/tlCyI

  292. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:11

    There used to be a lot of excitable right-leaning bloggers who reckoned that it was basically treasonous to question the policies of a US President at a time when America was under attack. Any of them still around?

  293. tigris said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:24

    There used to be a lot of excitable right-leaning bloggers who reckoned that it was basically treasonous to question the policies of a US President at a time when America was under attack.

    THAT WAS DIFFERENT.

  294. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:26

    There used to be a lot of excitable right-leaning bloggers who reckoned that it was basically treasonous to question the policies of a US President at a time when America was under attack.

    The US President they were defending is a mysterious, shadowy figure whose name is no longer mentioned in Wingnutistan.The wingoids cannot be expected to remember the ancient customs and beliefs of such a distant time.

  295. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:27

    Back when they were in the Royal Shakespeare Company, Bob and Doug McKenzie’s performances as Hamlet and Horatio were legendary.

    “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him. A fellow of–”

    “Horatio, eh.”

    “What?”

    “Horatio. You’re supposed to say like–”

    “No, you’re Horatio, you stupid hoser. I’m Hamlet.”

    “No, eh. I meant you’re supposed to say, ‘I knew him, Horatio.’”

    “Nobody’s gonna notice. You’re ruining my whole monologue.”

    “I think people are gonna notice, eh. It’s like a famous line and stuff.”

    “Well, yeah, people are gonna notice now ’cause you interrupted me.”

    “I interrupted you ’cause you’re wrong.”

    “How would even know, hoser? It’s not even your line.”

    “Duh. ‘Cause I read the script.”

    “Aw, now we’re almost outta time. I hope you’re happy, hoser.”

    “No, I hope you’re happy.”

    “For what, eh?”

    “For messing up the line.”

    “No, you messed up the line.”

    “I didn’t even say a line, eh.”

    “Well, goodbye, everybody. (waves to audience) You messed up my line.”

    “No way, eh.”

  296. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:35

    OT but important to me: Any of youse who have WordPress blogs at which I might leave my droppingscomment, WP has decided it hates me; pls. check your spam traps or whatever & make me real again. Thanks!

  297. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:38

    Good god- Charlie’s Angels movie. Wtf?

  298. Major Kong said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:38

    The US President they were defending is a mysterious, shadowy figure whose name is no longer mentioned in Wingnutistan.The wingoids cannot be expected to remember the ancient customs and beliefs of such a distant time.

    It’s like how the Communists used to erase people from the official pictures once they were no longer in favor with the regime.

    We had a cottage industry back in the Cold War trying to keep track of who was “in” and who was “out”.

  299. Nym said,

    September 13, 2012 at 3:54

    Aside: do you think any wingnuts are going to flip out over Hanoi Jane playing Nancy Reagan in an upcoming movie?

    (And is it just me or does Alan Rickman in his Ronald Reagan makeup look a bit like Alec Baldwin?)

  300. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 4:11

    M. Bouffant, you’ve been despamicized at my joint.

  301. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 4:17

    Images you will never see at the whingers’ sites.

    Thanks Pup. I linked to that from my FB page. Winger “friends” heads exploding in 3…2…1…

  302. Pryme said,

    September 13, 2012 at 4:28

    Also you won’t hearnthe story on Fux Noise.

    Of course not; they’re too busy saber-rattling.

    I’m sure the people of Libya remember how we reacted to 9/11 (“Turn Iraq into a parking lot & take their oil”) and started thinking, “Oh fuck…they’re gonna blow us up too, aren’t they?”

    And if Romney (or McCain) were president, they’d be right.

  303. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:19

    If anyone other than me is watching “Copper” it has its CSI:Five Points moments.

    which is keeping me from fully enjoying it…

  304. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:30

    re: monica crawly and such…last night (while being subjected to foxnews at the in-laws) she and papa bear were all up in alan colmes’ grill for disliking waterboarding but agreeing with drone kills…at the time, i wanted to bellow, ‘fuck you, you moldy panty stain!’ but resisted, because i am trying to be a grown up and the in-laws would be dismayed at having ‘fuck’ yelled in their living room, so her behavior today just reinforces the fact that she is a moldy panty stain…

    also, too…i could get addicted to regretsy and wish i was even 1/120th as clever…and such, hubbkf and i are going to paradise this weekend, and i may have to introduce ‘sailor trouble’ to the kids…it would make a humorous diversion from our usual playing of ‘score me a whore’…

  305. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:31

    which is keeping me from fully enjoying it…

    Yeah, I’d prefer more knuckle-duster action, but what can you do?

  306. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:32

    and fine! i’ve been toiling away for days now, not showing my face here cuz i had shit to do at work, and then when i FINALLY get caught up, there’s no one here…WHATEVER!

  307. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:34

    oh, hai!

    also, you have to admit that tom weston-jones is pretty dreamy…in an unwashed, smelly sort of way…

  308. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:38

    He’s playing an Irishman. What do you expect?

  309. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:48

    irish spring isn’t real?!

  310. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:48

    Ha ha. Damn bog-monkeys. If I never see another ad for Riverdance or hear more of that Celtic music it will still be too soon.

  311. Golem Heart said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:49

    i could get addicted to regretsy and wish i was even 1/120th as clever

    The wife turned me on to Regretsy. (She’s got info mgmt. policy issues with Etsy and will never go back, but that’s not fun like Regretsy.)

    Get a load of the 9/11 products Regretsy is highlighting. Sample:

    I pray that today
    you find comfort
    and warmth on this
    6 year anniversary
    of the day your loved one
    was escorted to heaven
    September 11, 2007

  312. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 5:55

    Get a load of the 9/11 products Regretsy is highlighting. Sample:

    i almost pissed myself numerous times looking at that stuff today…thank god i’m the only one in my office…

  313. Some Irish Fuck said,

    September 13, 2012 at 6:19

    If I never see another ad for Riverdance or hear more of that Celtic music

    Why don’t ye go ta Hell? I hear they play none of it down there.

    Coont.

  314. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 13, 2012 at 6:56

    Coont Dracula.

  315. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 7:01

    Coont von Coont

  316. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 7:08

    Why don’t ye go ta Hell?

    Been there. Your mother’s potato-based cuisine is horrible.

  317. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 13, 2012 at 7:13

    Yeah, but The Pogues are awesome.

  318. M. Bouffant said,

    September 13, 2012 at 8:59

    The Pogues

    Had a house mate who loved them. Now I hate them. Plus that fucker has better teef than i do.

  319. jim™, the gritty reboot made of zeros & ones said,

    September 13, 2012 at 9:14

    CRISIS NARROWLY AVERTED!

    Whew! Gosh, that was close.

    That meme is oh so quick.

    Couldn’t resist a bit of good wholesome fun with that.

  320. Modacamasir said,

    September 13, 2012 at 10:55

    so optimistic lol

  321. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 12:41

    PENIS.

  322. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 12:42

    PENIS.
    http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/09/12/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-penises-int/

  323. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 13:56

    PENIS
    PENIS
    Boop be doop be doop
    Who fapped the book of love?

  324. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 13, 2012 at 14:15

    and fine!

    As frog hair!

    :wavey:
    .

  325. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 13, 2012 at 16:26

    PENIS.

    Do they really have to start with a donor PENIS? All that’s necessary is the appropriate collagen scaffolding. That sounds like a much easier problem to solve than regrowing corpora cavernosa. Plus more flexibility in the exact shape of the resultant organ.

  326. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 16:37

    possibly the most noxious fb status i’ve ever seen:

    It’s okay to slow dance with the hubby during the middle of the afternoon in the bright sunshine, right? Married couples of 15 years still do that, right?

    this from a classmate who lives a perfect picture life in some picturesque spot in idaho…excuse me while i puke…

  327. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 16:44

    bbkf –

    Just answer: “It’s okay as long as the snipers don’t notice.”

  328. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 16:48

    Just answer: “It’s okay as long as the snipers don’t notice.”

    also, she felt compelled to inform us that the song was chris isaak’s (her have!!!) ‘cant help falling in love with you’

    all this barfing is making me light headed…but i have lost a few pounds…

  329. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 16:49

    also too her fave…fywp…

  330. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 16:51

    also…too…for those who continually mock us pixelated ‘murkins…i have posted a pic from before the pixellation…look and mock no more!

  331. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:02

    also…too…for those who continually mock us pixelated ‘murkins…i have posted a pic from before the pixellation…look and mock no more!

    Awesome.

  332. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:05

    I have a few bookface friends who repost EVERYTHING from a page that reads “I love it when I wake up in the morning and Barak Obama is president”.

    There have been many many wonderfully barfalicious shenanigans reposted from that freakshow.

    Hero worship–it’s just plain wrong. Also exceptionally creepy.

  333. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:09

    Hero worship–it’s just plain wrong. Also exceptionally creepy.

    except when i am the object of worship…nevar 4get!

  334. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:09

    Awesome.

    some say awesome, i say hilarious…

  335. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:11

    i have posted a pic from before the pixellation…look and mock no more!

    I looked, but I can’t promise anything else.

  336. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:13

    There are also a few dickheads who post this sort of shit:

    “Remember when we were kids and we used to PLAY OUTSIDE?”

    I always answer with “GET OFFA MY LAWN YOU PUNKS!”

    They hate that.

  337. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:14

    except when i am the object of worship…nevar 4get!

    Your pre-pixelation picture moved you up the list…you haven’t earned a website yet, though.

  338. DAS said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:21

    OT, but I am now a very happy man. I just received an e-mail from Beyonce Knowles signed “Love, Beyonce” … ok, ok, yes, it’s a mass mailing seeking donations for Pres. Obama’s re-election campaign …

  339. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:21

    Aw shit

  340. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:22

    I GOT THAT TOO, DAS! She’s so damn hot. She ALMOST got me to give money. Still not gonna happen though.

  341. DAS said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:24

    tsam,

    So I guess I’m not the only male who thought “well, if I do win the trip, an evening with Beyonce and the First Lady is gonna be awfully easy on the eyes”? Still, I don’t have $25 to throw around for Obama.

  342. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 17:27

    So I guess I’m not the only male who thought “well, if I do win the trip, an evening with Beyonce and the First Lady is gonna be awfully easy on the eyes”? Still, I don’t have $25 to throw around for Obama.

    I would absolutely love to have dinner with Michelle Obama. She is far and away my favorite political figure on the current scene.

    And easy oh the eyes? HOH MY GOD, YES.

  343. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 18:39

    Michelle Obama. She is far and away my favorite political figure on the current scene.

    i gotta agree with you on this one…she has held herself above the fray for the past four years and she’s pretty impressive…i didn’t watch the dnc at all, but saw parts of her speech and she completely blew me away*…next to her, ann romney is just a bland blonde** with no more personality than mittens…

    *stop that!
    **yes, physically and intellectually (no offense to other blondes…anne’s intellect pales next to obama’s)…

  344. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 18:43

    I just received an e-mail from Beyonce Knowles signed “Love, Beyonce”

    dammit! i took myself off the mailing list too soon…on the upside, i did get a call from some place that is offering us a FREE vacay to our choice of destinations…apparently hubbkf signed up for it at a bass pro shop when he was out at nab/pbs in vegas last spring…i was a good wife and opted not to choose our destination and had the very nice gentleman call back this evening when hubbkf is home and i am working…i think he will appreciate that…

  345. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 18:54

    And easy oh the eyes? HOH MY GOD, YES.

    Careful, you’re starting to step on a certain Dragon-King’s turf there.

  346. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 18:56

    jesus h…i went back over to wingnut news to see if there were any delightful mangoes in the comments, but still the same ones…amelia apparently didn’t spark the thoughtful debate her column surely warrants, but anyhoo, i found another entry from some goldman dude thusly titled: “When Do We Get to Attack Obama’s Character?”

    really? has it ever stopped? that one morphs into another entry about ‘obama’s womens’ secrets and what they say about him’ which basically slams michelle and his mom…it never gets old for them, does it…

    but in true wingnut fashion, there are many conflicting entries variously titled to the effect of ‘romney’s going to lose/win….obama’s going to lose/win’…it’s a bit like a giant boggle game over there…

  347. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:05

    sexy time news…or: do it, now!

  348. bughunter, just borrowing your schtick, said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:12

    COCKMONSTER

  349. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:15

    Remember when we were kids and we used to PLAY OUTSIDE?

    Wait, we were supposed to stop that? I was not informed, and will not comply.

    And tsam’s lawn is the best play spot evar! I’m gonna build a fort there. Also too.

  350. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:23

    do it, now!

    Um, ok, but my wife’s not here and she’ll probably be a tiny bit peeved if I just randomly hookup with somebody on campus… I’ll blame you.

  351. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:30

    Remember when we were kids and we used to PLAY OUTSIDE?

    I do remember.

    And I still do.
    ~

  352. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:43

    i gotta agree with you on this one…she has held herself above the fray for the past four years and she’s pretty impressive…i didn’t watch the dnc at all, but saw parts of her speech and she completely blew me away*…next to her, ann romney is just a bland blonde** with no more personality than mittens…

    I don’t have any particular beef with Ann Romney, but Michelle does torch her in pretty much every aspect.

  353. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:44

    The yard went on forever.

  354. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:46

    That Chris Kluwe thing is way too awesome. The Vikings just got on my “eh..I can take ‘em or leave ‘em” list of teams. There were on my bad list for a while, because FAVERUH, but then AP made me like watching their games because he’s a total beast…but this makes me like them again.

  355. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:47

    Careful, you’re starting to step on a certain Dragon-King’s turf there.

    I ain’t afraid of no dragons.

  356. DAS said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:47

    And tsam’s lawn is the best play spot evar! I’m gonna build a fort there. Also too. – OBS

    Is that a double entendre?

    *

    Actually that is a disadvantage of living in an apartment. In CA suburbia where houses all have high fences, you can send your kid outside to play after s/he does the day’s homework and watch from the kitchen window. In an apartment building, you need to take your kid outside, which means either schlepping yourself back outside after you’ve come back inside after collecting your kid from the bus stop or letting your kid play before homework time, which means the kid has no “after my homework’s done, I can go outside” motivation to actually finish homework.

  357. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:49

    i found another entry from some goldman dude thusly titled: “When Do We Get to Attack Obama’s Character?”

    What? The last 4 years were you pricks being above attacking his character?

  358. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:57

    I live in an apartment too. My kids are teenagers now (One is leaving for U of W in a week **sob) so they don’t care much about playing outside. They just walk to the store a lot.

  359. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:57

    Building a fort.

  360. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 19:58

    I live in an apartment too.

    Wait, you don’t even have a lawn!? Man, it’s almost like you can’t believe anything you read on the intarwebs anymore. I’m so disillusioned now.

  361. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:03

    I have a HUGE lawn. And a pool. And a hot tub. And like 20 washing machines. Massive driveway, and a dumpster for my garbage.

    LIVING THE DREAM, PEOPLE.

  362. kg said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:05

    They just walk to the store a lot.

    make sure they’re careful not to wear hoodies.

  363. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:08

    I have a HUGE lawn. And a pool. And a hot tub. And like 20 washing machines. Massive driveway, and a dumpster for my garbage.

    well, unless you have someone to mow your ‘huge lawn’ and you get some driers, i’m not moving in…

  364. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:11

    Wait, we were supposed to stop that? I was not informed, and will not comply.

    I know, right? Sometimes I sit on my little patio and drink beer and hope some of my cute female neighbors come outside.

    I so hate old white (or even non-white) lamenting today’s youth, as if they’re any different than they were. All this “back in my day…” shit makes me all stabby and annoyed as hell. It’s stupid. It’s ignorant and irritating.

  365. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:11

    LIVING THE DREAM, PEOPLE.

    Does the sign on your fort say “SU?LY ASSHOL3S ONLY!”?

  366. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:12

    FYWP, that question mark was a backwards “R” in preview!

  367. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:12

    well, unless you have someone to mow your ‘huge lawn’ and you get some driers, i’m not moving in…

    Summer Saturday afternoons consist of a Mariners game on TV, a beer, and chuckling to myself watching some poor miserable kid chase a lawnmower all up and down the apartment lawn. And yes, we got lotsa dryers.

  368. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:13

    Does the sign on your fort say “SU?LY ASSHOL3S ONLY!”?

    That’s right.

    It also says NO GERLS ALOWD!

  369. Golem Heart said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:17

    “No True Hippie” would be a good screen name, though it’d get misunderstood.

  370. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:24

    …have someone to mow your ‘huge lawn’…

    I thought the term was “trimming the underbrush” these days.

  371. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:33

    mowing the lawn and much more also too.

  372. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:44

    It also says NO GERLS ALOWD!

    tease!

  373. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:51

    I don’t have any particular beef with Ann Romney,

    i don’t either aside from her being an over-privileged snobbish moldy panty stain (god, that sailor trouble booklet is awesome!) who thinks mitt is mr. wonderful…seriously, somebody who thinks a man like mitt is worth spending your life with and procreating more just like him needs to be regarded with a metric fuck tonne of suspicion…

  374. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:51

    also, kluwe is THE only redeeming factor in the entire viking franchise…

  375. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 20:57

    Amon Amarth owns the Viking franchise.

  376. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:24

    There’s probably nothing wrong with Ann Romney that five or ten years of raising a couple kids and managing her illness on the income and benefits of a Wal-Mart greeter wouldn’t cure.

  377. Thread Bear said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:31

    also, kluwe is THE only redeeming factor in the entire viking franchise…

    There’s also the cool Viking logo.

  378. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:43

    How about purple? They’re very purple.

  379. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:50

    Speaking of colors: blue balls! (SFW — if the link doesn’t work, go to this article and scroll down to Figure 7)

  380. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:50

    Gotta say that I agree with the FB reposts about the marvellousness of various peoples childhoods. If your kids don’t live like that it is because you raised them in the new way you don’t like.

  381. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:52

    Imagine that I wrote “agree with the scorn for”

  382. bughunter said,

    September 13, 2012 at 21:58

    Ooh. Sarah Mooseknuckle makes a VPR!

    She’s so witty. I bet she makes herself larf.

  383. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:05

    unless you have someone to mow your ‘huge lawn’

    Trimmed carpet and pert fixtures.

  384. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:11

    Speaking of colors: blue balls! (SFW — if the link doesn’t work, go to this article and scroll down to Figure 7)

    Kinda mind-blowing to see a new primate species discovered in this day and age.

  385. tigris said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:12

    It also says NO GERLS ALOWD!

    BUT I MADE SAMMICHES.

  386. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:15

    BUT I MADE SAMMICHES.

    Spleen sammiches?

  387. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:16

    RIP thread

  388. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:18

    We have not reached peak redhead.

  389. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:18

    RIP thread

    The thread can never die. Even when there’s a new post, the threads become moribund, but they never quite die. I can’t be arsed looking it up, but there’s a thread which still gets comments after a couple of years. I think Whale Chowder could point it out for us.

  390. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:20

    UNFORTUNATELY PHALLIC HEDGE SCULPTURE.

  391. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:21

    Is this the neverending thread…?

  392. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:22

    The Matt Furey thread is still good for a giggle every few months.

  393. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:24

    This was awe-inspiring. Back when there was sometimes MORE THAN ONE POST IN A DAY.

  394. DAS said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:24

    S McG and OBS,

    I just gave the two threads you linked to some life support. It’s pretty thin gruel what I added (well nothing at all really), but I am frustrated because I just lost an hour’s worth of work to Word deciding make a file of mine corrupt … and I can’t be arsed to actually do anything more right now. Even anything more “for fun”.

  395. smut clyde said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:31

    In reply to Pupienus, all I can say is DELICIOUS STATE FAIR HOTDOG!

  396. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 22:34

    The Matt Furey thread is still good for a giggle every few months.

    I’d forgotten about that one. I can’t believe the Furey sockpuppets continue to come back and add positive comments about him after seven years!

  397. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:00

    OGM! Zombie thread can not die!

  398. N__B said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:04

    BTW, Spelltower doesn’t recognize “Dagny” as a word. TAKE THAT, Paul Ryan.

  399. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:08

    MORE THAN ONE POST IN A DAY.

    This is a myth, like an earth older than 6,000 years or that species change over time. Begone, devil’s spawn!

  400. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:12

    I just found this place which might be nice for those who like short films all artistic and such. The article about Seaglass is funny.

  401. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:17

    So, yeah, the film wasn’t made by Israelis, but rather a fundamentalist Christian (and convicted criminal).

    Who’d'a thunk it?

  402. bughunter said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:30

    From Spearhafoc’s Boston Globe link, the filmmaker is quoted as saying he made the film,

    because I’m tired of the radical Muslims running around killing everyone.

    OMFG, that is so rich with irony, it needs to be oiled or it will rust.

  403. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:30

    Kinda mind-blowing to see a new primate species discovered in this day and age.

    Yeah, that was a huge surprise to me. And I thought it was great that the locals went — “Meh. Those are just the blue-balled fuckers we shoot and eat all the time. They’ve always been here, what’s the big deal?” — while the scientists are all flabbergasted about the discovery.

  404. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:32

    because I’m tired of the radical Muslims running around killing everyone.

    Totally true. I can barely step out my front door with all the crazed muslin hordes milling about all stabby and stuff.

  405. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:36

    There was a radical Muslim horde killing someone at the grocery store yesterday and I was pissed because it was in the express line.

  406. Golem Heart said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:45

    My standards are low, and uncaring. When radical Muslim hordes are abroad and stabby, my stony heart is warmed to see the victims’ warnings and cries transcribed as involving “hordes,” not “hoards.”

  407. Whale Chowder said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:45

    the film wasn’t made by Israelis, but rather a fundamentalist Christian

    A Copt, as noted in the article. Not that that justifies anything but it is my understanding that Copts are getting the shit kicked out of them all around the Middle East these days as part of the general secular strife.

    Nice that the guy would stir shit up and get representatives of his adopted home killed.

  408. tsam said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:45

    BUT I MADE SAMMICHES.

    You’re so dang persuasive.

    NO GERLS XSEPT TIGRIS.

    There. Fixt

  409. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:45

    Ouch!

    http://www.intrade.com/v4/markets/contract/?contractId=743474

    Look at the “huge” chart for “last month”. Doesn’t look good for Willard.

  410. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:50

    the film wasn’t made by Israelis, but rather a fundamentalist Christian

    But was it filmed in Arkansas?

  411. Another Kiwi said,

    September 13, 2012 at 23:59

    I heard the lead actress onna radio saying that she may sue the film company because her lines were overdubbed and the story was totally different to the film she thought she was making.
    Weird shit, huh.

  412. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:00

    Look at the “huge” chart for “last month”. Doesn’t look good for Willard.

    Ouch indeed. Zowie.

  413. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:00

    I heard the lead actress onna radio saying that she may sue the film company because her lines were overdubbed and the story was totally different to the film she thought she was making.
    Weird shit, huh.

    yeah…weird…i bet she was wondering why they didn’t want her to disrobe…

  414. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:11

    Ahem bbkf “They told me it was based on what it was like 2,000 years ago at the time of the Lord,” Garcia said. “Like the time Christ was here.”source
    It was BIBLICAL, see? They didn’t have rudey stuff back then.

  415. M. Bouffant said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:17

    MORE THAN ONE POST IN A DAY.
    Goddam “posts” just interfere w/ the clever commentariat.

  416. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:18

    A Copt, as noted in the article. Not that that justifies anything but it is my understanding that Copts are getting the shit kicked out of them all around the Middle East these days as part of the general secular strife.

    Nice that the guy would stir shit up and get representatives of his adopted home killed.

    Yeah, he’s putting both his original and his adopted people in danger. Whatta doosh!

  417. M. Bouffant said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:42

    Copts are strictly Egyptian, though I’m sure other Xian groups across the Mid-East are getting fucked by Muslims too.

    I worked w/ a Coptic guy* about six yrs. ago, who was in his early 20s & born in Egypt. Not sure how long he’d been in the United Snakes, but he was pretty well-acculturated & spoke reg’lar ‘Merkin English. Anyhoo, one day he brought in a comic book (also in English) that was pretty much a compilation of anything bad about the prophet. Not sure how accurate it was, but there were plenty of alleged quotes from the Qu’ran & whatever the not-official but still claimed to have been said by Mohammad book is. The Sunah, that’s what it’s called.

    So yeah, they fucking hate Muslims. (Or, they hate the fucking Muslims.)

    *Kinda wondered if he’d had anything to do w/ all this crap. Gotta figure the Coptic community in SoCal is fairly small.

  418. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:44

    When I visited the Coptic church in Cairo the guy who was showing me around was awfully proud to tell me he didn’t take baksheesh. This was much appreciated, especially after I had my shoes held for ransom in a fucking mosque.

  419. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:47

    Oh, how we laughed and laughed:

    The adviser, granted anonymity to criticize a press corps the campaign still relies on every day, went on to blame a “green room, green zone kind of divide,” saying the national press, most of whom live in New York or DC, “pockets of prosperity,” are isolated from the realities of the harsh economy — and therefore, unable to grasp Romney’s message.

  420. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:52

    When I visited the Coptic church in Cairo the guy who was showing me around was awfully proud to tell me he didn’t take baksheesh.

    Did you tip him for this?

  421. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 0:59

    Pup, the intrade chart is the stuff of Willard nightmares. I guess he should not be a dick, whaddyarekkon?

  422. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 1:02

    I don’t yes see a link to this amusement.

  423. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 1:05

    saying the national press, most of whom live in New York or DC, “pockets of prosperity,” are isolated from the realities of the harsh economy

    They should really follow Mitt to all those unemployment office and soup-kitchen visits. He’s so warm with the downtrodden!

  424. El Manquécito said,

    September 14, 2012 at 1:35

    I don’t yes

    NOT in and around the lake, NOT!

  425. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 1:43

    It’s my goal to be somewhat more sensible than Jon Anderson.

  426. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 1:57

    That’s much better than being the owner of a broke fart.

  427. Pupienus said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:05

    more sensible than Jon Anderson

    UNPOSSIBLE! You have surely passed through the gates of delirium. You are close the edge, young man.

  428. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:08

    It’s my goal to be somewhat more obsessed with pre-Norman-Invasion Britain than Ian Anderson.

  429. bughunter, borrowing your schtick again, said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:11

    PENIS

  430. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:15

    It’s my goal to be a slightly better puppet master than Gerry Anderson.

  431. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:16

    It’s my goal to be somewhat more intimate with Gillian Anderson.

  432. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:22

    “pockets of prosperity,”

    IN ROMNEY’S PANTS.

  433. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:24

    I live in Romney’s pants? Why is there not more gold surrounding me?

  434. El Manquécito said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:40

    BUT I MADE SAMMICHES.

    IN ROMNEY’S PANTS.

    These are not the sandwiches I was promised.

  435. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 2:42

    Uric, Penis Beer, please? Put a big head on it, thanks.

  436. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:09

    He who is not an elephantnose fish to himself doesn’t know himself.
    He who is not a power to himself doesn’t know himself.
    It’s not what we unpack that shows us up, it’s what we don’t unpack.
    It’s not what we scorch that shows us up, it’s what we don’t scorch.
    He who is not a snake to himself doesn’t know himself.
    He who is not a greater urchin to himself doesn’t know himself.
    He who is not a woodchuck to himself doesn’t know himself.
    Pancakes are signs of Hera’s release.
    Failures are signs of Zeus’s aesthetic.
    He who is not a featherback to himself doesn’t know himself.
    He who is not a pipefish to himself doesn’t know himself.

  437. Smut Clyde said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:12

    I was told there would be Hot Pockets here.

  438. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:19

    There are no po’ boys.

  439. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:20

    You sure about releasing the Hera? I mean, even with pancake baffles, that’s some heavy shit there, man.

  440. Heracles said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:45

    I thought Hera never got any release. That’s why she was such a supreme bitch.

  441. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:51

    The fact is, Islam IS a cancer. This movie is all true. It also proved that no matter what, Muslims kill people all the time and say they are peaceful.

  442. Smut Clyde said,

    September 14, 2012 at 3:56

    Oh, how we laughed and laughed:

    This was funny:
    Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin, a leading Romney defender with unique access to the campaign, has been pressing the biased-media message on her blog this week

  443. Gary Ruppert said,

    September 14, 2012 at 4:04

    The fact is, Romney would win hands down if it were not for the Liberal Bias media in the tank for the Usurper.

  444. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 14, 2012 at 4:35

    Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin, a leading Romney defender with unique access to the campaign, has been pressing the biased-media message on her blog this week

    No. Furilla?
    .

  445. Smut Clyde said,

    September 14, 2012 at 4:46

    No. Furilla?

    For real! Apparently the WashPost employs columnists who are no more than propagandists for a political party!

  446. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 4:52

    Apparently the WashPost employs columnists

    YOU LIE.

  447. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:01

    5th columnists? I believe that.

  448. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:02

    The rules of classical architecture demand an even number of columns.

  449. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:06

    Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin, a leading Romney defender with unique access to the campaign, has been pressing the biased-media message on her blog this week

    Tee hee! I also liked the Romney guy who thought anyone reporting the Democrat’s convention was less of a train wreck was proving their bias.

  450. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:07

    The rules of classical architecture demand an even number of columns.

    Kiwi was being ionic.

  451. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:08

    ioniclastic

  452. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:13

    The rules of classical architecture demand an even number of columns.

    Did you learn that from Doric the Explorer?

  453. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:17

    Screw this column stuff, I’d rather get pilastered.

  454. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:19

    Screw this column stuff, I’d rather get pilastered.

    There’s a minibar in my limo. Plus the seats are made from rich Corinthian leather.

  455. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:23

    Frieze, Mister. You talk Greek but your hands are clearly Roman. Best not get caryatid away.

  456. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:26

    Despite owning a limbo, I’m, not wealthy. I borrowed it from Greco-Roman Polanski way back when. He had to take off for some reason, and he hasn’t come back for it yet.

  457. Another Kiwi said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:30

    Plus the seats are made from rich Corinthian leather.
    I thought your shoes were made of leather,
    You think we look pretty good together
    - Substitute Mcgravitas
    -The Whom

  458. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:43

    If I had my way
    If I had my way
    If I had my way
    I would tear this building down

    - The Blasters

  459. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 5:53

    Despite owning a limbo

    I also own Purgatory.

  460. Chris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 6:02

    Copts are strictly Egyptian, though I’m sure other Xian groups across the Mid-East are getting fucked by Muslims too.

    Yep. Actually, the Copts I’ve met will proudly tell you that they’re the ORIGINAL Egyptians, those from the time of the pharaohs, who were there before the Arab/Muslim invasion.

    So yeah, they fucking hate Muslims. (Or, they hate the fucking Muslims.)

    In my own anecdotal experience, I’ve encountered more hate for Muslims from American Copts, Maronites, etc, than from those of them who’re actually from the Middle East. Same as those among Irish Americans who took it as their duty to damn the British and talk your ear off about the Brave Catholic Freedom Fighters; it’s easier to draw things in black and white with a brick wall between them if you’re not actually in the middle of things.

    (Not to suggest that there isn’t bad blood in the Middle East as well).

  461. islmfaoscist said,

    September 14, 2012 at 6:18

    As I have been reassured by my dusky hued Alexandrienne, the Copts and their Muslim neighbors and respective famblies have dwelt amicably atwixt each other in that part of the planet for quite a number of generations now, for a suitably large definition of “quite a number”.

  462. John Revolta said,

    September 14, 2012 at 7:00

    Goodnight, sweet plinths.

  463. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 14, 2012 at 7:09

    Nitey Nite Lullaby.
    ~

  464. Atlas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 7:48

    Pah. Columny, all of it. Must it take a Titan to bear the burden of truth?

  465. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:16

    Weird thing for today: Obama has opened a 5 to 7 point lead in VA, FL and OH. If those leads hold, Rmoney can’t win.

  466. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:18

    I cannot support this punning. It is plinth to see that all y’all have crossed the finial line dividing the upright members from the lesser beams.

  467. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:19

    Mini__B and I will stop this by, together, starting a demolition company. I call it Edifice Wrecks.

  468. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:42

    Shoulda gone with Oedipus Wrecks

  469. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:43

    Too soon?

  470. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:46

    That was sort of the joke.

  471. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:49

    Oh. Time out for tsam.

  472. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 14:51

    Well, what the hell are you doing up before 6?

  473. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:09

    You can handle the demo – but if there’s haz mat clean up required we’ll need to call in Odious Rags.

  474. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:10

    Some years ago Canuckistan sent us a movie theater chain called Cineplex Odious.

  475. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:17

    My favourite theatre is the Eight-a-plex Reels.

  476. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:19

    Getting to that theatre by transit sucks though. Nanny State Canuckistani land has some many rules about proper behaviour on public transit – I hate the bus regs.

  477. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:20

    Should have just biked it. They have places to lock up your bike – must be eighty plus racks.

  478. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:26

    Four inna row. Despite the heady pause.

  479. Golem Heart said,

    September 14, 2012 at 15:55

    I’m tempted to troll somewhere as follows:

    Wingnut logic now states that on 9/11, the proverbial buck did not stop on Bush’s desk, but that Obama somehow failed to protect our diplomats in Libya.

    “Opportunist” is too mild a word for Romney. He is a braying, grinning hyena tearing at the still-warm corpses of our nation’s dead. Those who join his pack are lower still.

    Romney’s confident manner and constant smile are meant to convey the inner glow of a successful and even holy man. Instead we see a dead grifter’s soulless rictus reanimated to smirk and lie. Romney radiates the unnatural vitality of a ghoul: one who hastens forth to gobble unclean nourishments — an apt description of his business practices as well as his politics.

  480. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:00

    Romney’s confident manner and constant smile are meant to convey the inner glow of a successful and even holy man. Instead we see a dead grifter’s soulless rictus reanimated to smirk and lie.

    As mean tempered atheist, I would have to say that those two things are not mutually exclusive.

  481. Major Kong said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:08

    “Opportunist” is too mild a word for Romney.

    I never thought I’d see someone who could make Palin seem principled in comparison.

  482. Chris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:28

    This is a good one: Romney says he’s concerned that he’ll have to spend the debate preventing Obama from saying things that aren’t true.

  483. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:33

    Well, what the hell are you doing up before 6?

    Working early to avoid working tomorrow. Drinking coffee too. Completely missing a nuanced and intelligent joke. Trying to make an access control system do magic….

  484. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:36

    As mean tempered atheist, I would have to say that those two things are not mutually exclusive.

    I think they’re more commonly symptoms of each other. He’s got the bad hair and everything.

  485. Golem Heart said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:47

    “Not mutually exclusive,” no. I have similar thoughts, but was trying aiming for pithiness, which doesn’t come easy for me.

  486. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 16:48

    BOSTON (AP) — Mitt Romney is promising to reduce taxes on middle-income Americans.

    But how does he define “middle-income”? The Republican presidential nominee defined it as income of $200,000 to $250,000 a year.

    Romney commented during an interview broadcast Friday on ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

    The Census Bureau reported this week that the median household income — the midpoint for the nation — is just over $50,000.

    The definition of “middle income” or the “middle class” is politically charged. Both presidential candidates are fighting to win over working-class voters.

    President Barack Obama has defined “middle class” as income up to $250,000 a year.

    Obama wants to extend Bush-era tax cuts for those making less than $250,000. Romney wants to extend the tax cuts for everyone.

    Asshole rich guys are assholes.

  487. Golem Heart said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:02

    I went to post my Romney-as-ghoul-hyena piece at NRO — there’s an appropriate rich Lowry item, complete with execrable comments — but I don’t have any usable logins with me here at work.

  488. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:09

    WOO HOO!

    Fox Hosts Pamela Geller To Claim Obama “Is Submitting The United States To” Sharia Blasphemy Laws

    P.S. Lest we forget.
    ~

  489. Pupienus said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:15

    I did not think even Rmoney would be so craven. The lying liar calling the President a liar is stunning. Im just… I can’t … I don’t even…

  490. you're it said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:16

    Nice to see the “Reality”-Based Community continue to ignore the horror that happened in Libya as a direct result of the inaction of that feckless rat bastard you call a “president”. When the “3 a.m. phone call” came, President Emptychair slept right through it…skipped another national intelligence briefing…and is, no doubt, making plans for another golf outing.

    But please…continue to talk about Romney’s “gaaaaaaafffss”…you know, the IMPORTANT issues.

  491. you're it said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:17

    “I did not think even Rmoney would be so craven. The lying liar calling the President a liar is stunning. Im just… I can’t … I don’t even…”

    “Craven” is the perfect term to describe YOUR “president”.

    JERK.

  492. W. Kiernan said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:22

    Kind of off-topic, but I saw this article, “House GOP Bill Would Actually End Welfare Reform Work Requirements”, and the first thing that came to mind was, “As Cerberus repeatedly says, It’s Always Projection.”

    It could be argued, however, that this criticism may possibly be somewhat unfair. Maybe the GOP legislators didn’t actually intend to end “welfare work requirements,” but being the bunch of half-assed incompetents that they are, they threw together the proposed bill so sloppily and thoughtlessly that that was an unexpected side-effect.

  493. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:49

    Oooh, look, we’ve got a new troll!

    Unless it’s the same one under a new and stupider name.

  494. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:51

    This troll isn’t funny at all. Not even a little bit. She seems way too angry.

  495. Pupienus said,

    September 14, 2012 at 17:51

    Hey, one of you seems to have a problem with your keyboard – your comments are appearing as gibberish. Maybe you have a virus?

  496. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:07

    The only time I had a virus, my gibberish appeared as comments.

  497. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:14

    as only jesse can…

    can’t decide…is this so cool it’s scary or is it just scary cool?

  498. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:15

    She seems way too angry.

    again with the gendered insults? i believe trolls should be referred to with the gender neutral “it”…

  499. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:16

    But how does he define “middle-income”? The Republican presidential nominee defined it as income of $200,000 to $250,000 a year.

    once again, i discover i am woefully below the poverty line…

  500. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:17

    Mini__B and I will stop this by, together, starting a demolition company. I call it Edifice Wrecks.

    Despite my sinus pain, I gotta applaud.

  501. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:19

    First thing you do is stop applauding with your nose and forehead.

  502. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:21

    Gotta give trolls credit–when they get their new talking points they take them and run…and then fall head first into a pile of their own poo.

    Or as the troll would put it: “Fall” head first into their own “poo”

  503. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:24

    September 14, 2012 at 18:19

    First thing you do is stop applauding with your nose and forehead.

    I failed Applause 101.

  504. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:24

    Again with the concern trolling? I flipped a fucking coin, people. Jesus H, will you fucking people lighten the hell up?

  505. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:26

    Again with the concern trolling? I flipped a fucking coin, people. Jesus H, will you fucking people lighten the hell up?

    THAT WAS A JOKE! JEEPERS, APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT GET UP BEFORE THE CRACK OF DAWN AND DRINK COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF COFFEE!!!

  506. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:27

    ALTHOUGH I DID THE SAME THING AND NOW I AM INTERNET YELLING…

  507. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:28

    Wait. Who’s concern trolling? Did I not scroll up enough? I only saw the new wingnut quotation-abuser.

  508. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:36

    The only time I had a virus, the doctor had to use liquid nitrogen on my gibberish.

  509. Pupienus said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:36

    Nice to see the “Reality”-Based Community continue to ignore the horror that happened in Libya

    We all “want” to but going “OT” is a “bannable” “offense” here.

  510. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:37

    The concern trolling was the complaint about using ‘she’ to refer to the troll. at 18:15

  511. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:44

    He who is not a chump to himself doesn’t know himself.
    No pickler can make you feel salty without your piece of crap.
    He who is not a greater skywyrm to himself doesn’t know himself.
    Shot glasses are signs of God’s delusion.
    Vitamin pills are signs of Allah’s oeuvre.
    The Asian food is out there.
    The Commander in Chief is out there.
    Smoothies are signs of God’s release.
    It’s not what we tease that shows us up, it’s what we don’t tease.
    Goofballs are signs of Vishnu’s parable.
    Camels are signs of God’s construction.
    It’s not what we blind that shows us up, it’s what we don’t blind.
    Nobody can make you feel dangerous without your dress.
    Alan Turing can make you feel unchanging without your soul.
    It’s not what we rescue that shows us up, it’s what we don’t rescue.
    Prime ministers are signs of God’s standardization.
    He who is not a mechanical cat to himself doesn’t know himself.
    He who is not a ferret badger to himself doesn’t know himself.
    It’s not what we melt that shows us up, it’s what we don’t melt.
    It’s not what we measure that shows us up, it’s what we don’t measure.

  512. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:50

    Smoothies are signs of God’s release.

    great, there goes my plan for lunch…

  513. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 18:58

    Oh..sorry, bbkf.

    I should probably chill the fuck out. My bad.

  514. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:01

    Oh..sorry, bbkf.

    I should probably chill the fuck out. My bad.

    it’s okay, kitten…

  515. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:05

    DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A KITTEN?

  516. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:06

    I’m kidding. I wish I was half as cute as a kitten.

  517. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:06

    DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A KITTEN?

    uh…YES! does this mean IT’S ON?!?! OH, I THINK SO!

  518. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:08

    It’s now only a matter of time until the ape revolt.

    Why did they have to go and do that? Didn’t they watch bad Roddy McDowall films from the Seventies?

  519. Pupienus said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:15

    The researchers then impaired the monkeys’ performance deliberately, by dosing them with cocaine.
    GRRRR Lucky monkeys.

  520. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:20

    Godddamit. We’re never going to have a fucking NFL team. Leftcoast NIMBYs and corporate cravens will never be able to agree on anything.

  521. kg said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:22

    impaired?

  522. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:22

    You guys had 2 NFL teams and you didn’t feed and care for them.

  523. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:27

    I should probably chill the fuck out. My bad.

    You could make her an apology sammich. And get me a beer while you’re there.

  524. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:30

    You guys had 2 NFL teams and you didn’t feed and care for them.

    “Daaaaad, why can’t I have two football teams? I promise I’ll take them for walks, and give them baths and scoop their poop and everything! C’mon daaaad!”

  525. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:30

    You could make her an apology sammich. And get me a beer while you’re there.

    me like sammies…and beer…

  526. N__B said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:36

    The CFL should set up in L.A. I wanna hear Angelinos cheering for a rouge.

  527. Golem Heart said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:36

    Smoothies are signs of God’s release.

    Heavy. They’re also the fate of mutha uckas who mess with Flight of the Conchords:

    The mutha ucka runs a racist uckin’ grocery
    The mutha ucka won’t sell an apple to a Kiwi
    The shi- fight’s gonna get vicious and malicious
    Cut the cra-! I need my red delicious
    Tells me as a Kiwi that my money isn’t valid
    Gonna dice the mutha ucka like a mutha uckin’ fruit salad [...]
    Then pop an apple in his ass, yeah! [...]
    I’m gonna juice the mutha ucka [...]
    He’s gonna wake up in a smoothie

  528. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:41

    the gender neutral “it”…

    For the record, most non-binary people I know prefer “zie”. “It” seems kind of dehumanizing, I think.

  529. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:42

    I know it was a joke, and I wasn’t offended. I’m just pointing that out for general edification.

  530. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:44

    You could make her an apology sammich. And get me a beer while you’re there.

    Beer, sammich, backrub. Coming RIGHT up.

  531. bughunter, who hates commercialism but still loves football, said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:45

    I promise I’ll take them for walks use public funds to build new stadiums, and give them baths tax breaks and scoop their poop throw them parades and everything!

    Ixfayed.

    I don’t think you’d please a plurality in LA anymore unless they gave us an expansion team… too much AFC west rivalry here to permit either the Chargers or the Raiders to receive enough fan support if they relocated, and, well, fuck the Rams. And a relocation from nearly anywhere else would be pretty dimly received.

    And now that the two conferences are each organized into four divisions of four teams each, I doubt that the league will want to break that symmetry anytime soon.

    The only team I can think of who could relocate and build a brand is the Vikings — The Lakers relocated from MN, and are hugely popular here. Conceivably, they could lend some of their loyalty to a (hypothetical) LA Vikings franchise. They even share team colors.

  532. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:46

    “Daaaaad, why can’t I have two football teams? I promise I’ll take them for walks, and give them baths and scoop their poop and everything! C’mon daaaad!”

    Fool me once…uh..once shame on…
    Fool me twice……

    …..

    can’t get fooled again!

  533. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:49

    And now that the two conferences are each organized into four divisions of four teams each, I doubt that the league will want to break that symmetry anytime soon.

    There’s no way that’s going to happen. The owners will NEVER go for it. If you try to get into LA, you can expect Davis Jr (not THAT one, man) to go ballistic and likely win the battle.

  534. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:49

    Personally, I prefer “they” as a gender-neutral third-person singular. Screw the pedants, if it was good enough for Shakespeare, it’s good enough for me.

  535. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:52

    Question for the cooking types up in dis joint.

    I have a daughter heading off to the U of W dorms. She is hopelessly addicted to pasta, but has no stove on which to cook said pasta.

    Google showed me a couple of electric kettle type cookers. Has anyone used those? Wondering if they actually work or they’re just another appliance that sits on top of the fridge for the next yard sale…

  536. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:53

    Personally, I prefer “they” as a gender-neutral third-person singular.

    I do too, but then I catch myself mentally scolding the people on the teevee who use it.

  537. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 19:54

    Screw the pedants

    Crossing fingers…

  538. Golem Heart said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:03

    Alan Turing can make you feel unchanging without your soul.

    Second Turing reference I’ve seen today. Leading me to think about how sad it is that we lost this beyond-brilliant guy the way we did (probable suicide). If not for homophobia, he could have led a long, happy, even more productive life.

    But no, we are saddled with any number of cretins who won’t off themselves and only make matters worse, quite proud of themselves, untormented.

  539. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:04

    Google showed me a couple of electric kettle type cookers. Has anyone used those? Wondering if they actually work or they’re just another appliance that sits on top of the fridge for the next yard sale…

    A single “burner” induction cooktop would prolly be perfect, and might not raise the ire of the staff since the cooking surface doesn’t actually get hot. They used to be ridiculously expensive but I just saw an ad for one on TV for $99.

    But wait, there’s more, you get TWO of them, with pans! And a handy pocket fisherman! Act now, don’t delay!

  540. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:05

    Godddamit. We’re never going to have a fucking NFL team.

    As a Bears fan who cringed his way through last night’s game, may I say, count your blessings.

  541. g said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:09

    Tsam, as a dorm-dweller back in the stone age 70s, I used a plug-in hot-pot – it boiled water – and I was able to do everything from cooking pasta to steaming vegetables in it.

    It’s basically a pot with a spout and a built-in heating element. I think it’s safer than a hot plate, because the heating surface is enclosed – you can’t put something on top of it by mistake.

    Kraft macaroni and cheese and ramen were a major part of my dorm diet, back in the pre-microwave days.

  542. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:11

    “It” seems kind of dehumanizing, I think.

    For the trollie I think that was the point.

  543. Whale Chowder said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:12

    Google showed me a couple of electric kettle type cookers.

    Check the dorm rules. It’s fairly likely they won’t allow one. It’s also reasonably likely that there’s some kind of kitchen-ish thing in the dorm.

    Finally, there will be no shortage of pasta in the chow hall.

  544. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:12

    Cool–thanks guys!

  545. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:34

    The CFL should set up in L.A. I wanna hear Angelinos cheering for a rouge.

    i think professional cheerleaders wear enough make up…

  546. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:50

    Get her a medium-sized crockpot, too. I think that’d be handy for a busy student.

  547. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:52

    Can we get hipsters and or steampunks to dress up in anachronistic armor and joust while riding pennyfarthing bicycles? I’d watch that. I’d even be OK with L.A. having a team.

  548. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:52

    A hot plate is a better solution because you can do just about anything with it, When I was renoing my last kitchen there was a couple weeks of being rangeless. I got a two-burner hot plate at Target and made some amazingly good meals with just that.

    OBS is correct – the way to go now is an induction thingy. I was recently considering getting one to supplement my range and found that they are cheap cheap cheap. The very good Fagor is $82 at Amazon right now.

    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004XFX20I/?tag=hyprod-20&hvadid=15738270459&hvpos=1o6&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=719348921989943610&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&ref=asc_df_B004XFX20I

    Add a small pot and and a small frying pan and she can do all sorta shit up there.

  549. Whale Chowder said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:53

    i think professional cheerleaders wear enough make up…

    These days, so do the players.

  550. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 20:55

    A drip coffeemaker with a warming plate can get water hot enough to make Ramen… and cook pasta, too, I imagine… if you’re patient enough. A coffeemaker might not violate dorm rules.

    You don’t have to use the saltflavor packet, either. You can add your own sauce from a jar … or my favorite trick, cooking the ramen noodles with a little extra water and then tossing in a can of Chicken Mushroom Barley or Beef Vegetable Barley condensed soup.

  551. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:07

    Can we get hipsters and or steampunks to dress up in anachronistic armor and joust while riding pennyfarthing bicycles?

    Hell, that’d probably be a step up from fixies.

  552. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:08

    These days, so do the players.

    oh, hey…this reminds me…in the latest edition of the ‘hooterville indigestion’ crankysenileteabaggingracist old editor wrote about all the pro athletes with long hair…he was wondering if they thought it was CUTE?!?!@?!?!?! and why don’t they start WEARING SKIRTS?!?!?!?! will they think it’s CUTE when they are injured from someone pulling their hair during a TACKLE?!?!?!? and he finished it up with a saLUTE to the yankees for having a ban on long hairs…anyhoo, there was some amusement in his column which continues to repeat every single obama falsehood and is now openly bashing democrats…one woman wrote in from someplace like montana or wyoming (wtf?) and chided him for all his anti-obama rants and for publishing dumbass chain emails as fact, but her closing was the best…something to the effect of: while i don’t know you and so can’t say you’re a racist or a bigot, the hallmarks of paranoia are pretty evident…

    i LOL’d…

  553. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:11

    Wishing for an NFL team for Los Angeles is a form of curse.

  554. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:15

    Wishing for an NFL team for Los Angeles is a form of curse.

    Well, fires, earthquakes and riots can’t seem to get the job done.

  555. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:21

    September 14, 2012 at 21:11

    Wishing for an NFL team for Los Angeles is a form of curse.

    M. Bouffant doesn’t count?

  556. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:27

    M. Bouffant refuses to count.
    ~

  557. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:31

    M. Bouffant refuses to count.

    i’ve seen him clop his foot, though…

  558. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:32

    oh, hey…this reminds me…in the latest edition of the ‘hooterville indigestion’ crankysenileteabaggingracist old editor wrote about all the pro athletes with long hair…he was wondering if they thought it was CUTE?!?!@?!?!?! and why don’t they start WEARING SKIRTS?!?!?!?!

    Funny how mouthy some motherfuckers get when they aren’t anywhere near those long haired guys like Clay Matthews, Troy Polamalu, Marshawn Lynch, etc…

    I hate motherfuckers like that. Also the fuckups who cry about the new helmet-to-helmet rules. Buncha shitty fans. Shitty people.

  559. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:41

    in the latest edition of the ‘hooterville indigestion’ crankysenileteabaggingracist old editor wrote about all the pro athletes with long hair

    LIKE JESUS.

  560. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:42

    Shitty people.

    this cannot be said enough about the publisher of the hooterville indigestion…as an added bonus, even though he has more money than god, a benefit is being planned for his daughter (publisher-ette) who has breast cancer…you can already guess that gazillions of picas have been devoted to railing against obamacare, socialism and the lazyasses who expect us to pay for everything while they sit around doing drugs and making babbies by a certain someone…yes, that same someone who is too fucking cheap to provide health insurance to his workers…

  561. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:42

    LIKE JESUS.

    doesn’t count…jesus was white…

  562. JIM HOFT ALERT said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:45

    http://wonkette.com/484160/stupidest-man-on-the-internet-thinks-obama-thanked-libyan-president-for-killing-our-diplomats

  563. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:47

    I’d just love to see this fuckhead bitching about long haired athletes and see Clay Matthews standing behind him listening to the whole thing. The look on his face when he realizes he just pissed off one of the most dangerous men on the planet would be so fucking priceless…

  564. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:53

    I’d just love to see this fuckhead bitching about long haired athletes and see Clay Matthews standing behind him listening to the whole thing. The look on his face when he realizes he just pissed off one of the most dangerous men on the planet would be so fucking priceless…

    hahaha…it would be awesome because his colostomy bag would expand mightily…yes, he has one…and we were all treated to the grody deets of his numerous surgeries…upshot: apparently even his intestines thought he was too disgusting to live with…

  565. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:55

    Here is the beginning of an actual Wall Street Journal editorial:

    Strassel: Mr. Romney, Trust Your Pants
    Obama tells Americans the terrible things the Republican will do to them. The Republican remains silent about what he would do.

    By KIMBERLEY A. STRASSEL

    In the classic 1968 film “Once Upon a Time in the West,” a villainous Henry Fonda shoots one of his lackeys, in part for the sin of wearing both a belt and suspenders. How do you trust a man, muses Fonda, who “can’t even trust his own pants?”

    Mitt Romney is slipping in the polls because, when it comes to his own policies, he is once again wearing a belt, suspenders, and even some elasticized waistbands. The bold Romney who picked Paul Ryan as a catalyst to run on ideas has been ousted by the return of the careful Romney who wants this race to be about Barack Obama. And America is unwilling to trust a man who seems unwilling to trust his own agenda.

  566. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 14, 2012 at 21:57

    Jesus has a great glove, but he bats high in the order.
    ~

  567. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:03

    The bold Romney who picked Paul Ryan as a catalyst to run on ideas has been ousted by the return of the careful Romney who wants this race to be about Barack Obama

    I must have dozed off when the Bold Romney was on the telly.

    Then again, accusing the president of sympathizing with the people who murdered our ambassadors was pretty bold, even if it was incredibly stupid.

  568. tsam said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:03

    Jesus is a terrible glove. The balls seem to go right through his hands.

  569. Golem Heart said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:09

    Funny how mouthy some motherfuckers get when they aren’t anywhere near those long haired guys like Clay Matthews, Troy Polamalu, Marshawn Lynch, etc…

    From what bbkf related, this old editor pulled out all the stops but the classic “I mistook him for a woman from behind.”

    That line amazes me (I have heard it directly, some people never retire their zingers).

    Really? You mistook me for a woman? It was the beard that finally tipped you off, not the fact that I’m 6’2″ with a flat ass, narrow hips and broad shoulders?

  570. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:14

    M. Bouffant refuses to count.
    ~

    That is SO Bouffant.

  571. bughunter, barely maintaining control of his Tourette's, said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:15

    From the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, the fishwrap read by retirees and tourists:

    The GOP today is largely a party of rabid, old, white men in the unhappy dusk of their lives, railing against a nation in which they are no longer the dominant players. It is sad to watch — and sadder to be one of them. You can smell the mothballs of their memories and memorabilia (hats and banners resurrected for the convention), read the rage in their eyes.

    You know, while that’s accurate, it’s not enough. If it was just growing old and insignificant, then I’d have some pity on them. But it’s not just old codgers railing against lawntrodding kids. No, it’s bigots, racists, chauvanists, sexists, and fundamentalist haters who are allowing themselves to be manipulated by the sociopathic kleptocrats into fear-driven rancor against anyone not white, not Xtian, not piously chaste, not heterosexual, not Republican — essentially everyone not them.

    Nope. Sorry. Age is not sufficient or even necessary. First, I’m gonna be an old, white, straight guy one day… an old man with his salad days behind him and finishing up his dessert days with nothing left to look forward to but indigestion, gas, and a decent bowel movement if I’m lucky… but I’m certain I’m not going to be a lying, willfully-deceived, racist asshole who hates everyone except other puckered-up old assholes.

    Second, the GOP is full of people, including blacks, gays, women, and immigrants, who spout the same lies and hatred. These are the same people who are going to one day be in the “unhappy dusk of their lives,” and will be the new face of the GOP (or whatever replaces it), just duskier, gayer, and girlier. But still greedy, inhuman predators with no conscience or empathy, and proud of it.

    Fuck ‘em. They’re the fucking reason why despite 6000 years of written history, and a lot more before that, the only way we’ve improved the human condition substantially is that we can now kill and heal more efficiently. That’s it… steam engines, television, computers, and genetic engineering still haven’t changed the way we treat one another, mostly because of these bastards holding us back.

    Nope. No sympathy at all. At best, I extend them tolerance based solely on the universal application of my principles.

    /rant

  572. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:20

    “I mistook him for a woman from behind.”

    Isn’t this the mating call and/or standard excuse of every third world sex tourist?

  573. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:23

    That’s actually kind of handy because you get free car rides.

  574. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:23

    That and “She didn’t ask for money until after she gave me a half and half.”

  575. bughunter, finally getting to his dessert, said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:27

    Mmm… fresh, tree-ripened peaches…

    I have not had any this good since I visited NC four years ago in August.

    Commercial peaches in CA are crap. They’re picked before they’re ripe so they can survive distribution and retail handling, and while they’re “ripe” when you bring them home, they have no flavor.

    I picked these myself from a place outside of Yucaipa, and I’m suprised that they even compare to Carolina peaches. These are little orange orgasms with pits.

  576. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:38

    Oh, BTW, I have business guests from Egypt arriving next week.

    They’re very well educated, very responsible people who have visited before. And every one of them very pleasant guests and most gracious hosts (I’ve been to Cairo in the past year, too).

    But this visit should be interesting…

  577. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:44

    Oh, BTW, I have business guests from Egypt arriving next week.

    They’re very well educated, very responsible people who have visited before. And every one of them very pleasant guests and most gracious hosts (I’ve been to Cairo in the past year, too).

    But this visit should be interesting…

    somewhere in my mango hunting today, i came across something about sanctioning egyptians since they are uncivilized animals…ew, now i just threw up in my mouth again…

  578. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:45

    also, who is the fucker who got me hooked on regretsy? my workload damns you…

  579. Esteev said,

    September 14, 2012 at 22:59

    Amelia is kinda cute — minus the wingnuttery — I’d let her have my abortion.

  580. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:11

    Amelia is kinda cute

    If you ignore the thick, vaseline-like sheen of hate and ignorance, maybe. I can’t ignore that shit.

  581. bughunter said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:18

    bbkf, I think it was M__B who linked to the 9-11 post there.

    Related: VAGINA

  582. Chris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:29

    You know, while that’s accurate, it’s not enough. If it was just growing old and insignificant, then I’d have some pity on them. But it’s not just old codgers railing against lawntrodding kids. No, it’s bigots, racists, chauvanists, sexists, and fundamentalist haters who are allowing themselves to be manipulated by the sociopathic kleptocrats into fear-driven rancor against anyone not white, not Xtian, not piously chaste, not heterosexual, not Republican — essentially everyone not them.

    Agree with everything though I find even “allowing themselves to be manipulated” to be too mild. They’re not being manipulated, they’re willing and enthusiastic participants.

    the GOP is full of people, including blacks, gays, women, and immigrants, who spout the same lies and hatred. These are the same people who are going to one day be in the “unhappy dusk of their lives,” and will be the new face of the GOP (or whatever replaces it), just duskier, gayer, and girlier. But still greedy, inhuman predators with no conscience or empathy, and proud of it.

    This.

    To me, it’s as simple as this – they’ve spent the last fifty years, roughly, running every campaign by appealing to the worst in human nature, so naturally, they’re left with a base made up of the worst human beings the country has to offer. All there is to it.

    Also and more generally, preach it!

  583. bbkf said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:33

    bbkf, I think it was M__B who linked to the 9-11 post there.

    Related: VAGINA

    and sadly, that’s not one of the most egregious things on there…there’s lots and lots of weirdos out there aint there…speaking of…off to work to ply alkyhol to the hapless…then hubbkf and i are off for a couple of days yay!

  584. vacuumslayer said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:45

    Wow. Speaking from experience, they forgot the rips by the birth canal and anus. If only it were so “neat.”

  585. vacuumslayer said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:46

    Have fun, bbkf. Maybe it’s just the vodka talking, but you are one of the coolest, nicest people I’ve met online.

  586. tigris said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:51

    Amelia is kinda cute

    Everyone looks better with a smirky duck-face.

  587. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 14, 2012 at 23:54

    NO.

  588. smut clyde said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:10

    Maybe it’s just the vodka talking

    Is vodka there? I’d like to talk to vodka, please.

  589. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:14

    Maybe.
    ~

  590. Whale Chowder said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:22

    I’d like to talk to vodka, please.

    Sigh, my vodka never says anything. Of course, I’m not really there to have a conversation.

  591. bughunter, who has had many conversations with Whisky, said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:29

    If my vodka talks, it always says the same thing:

    BLAARGHhhugh! Rohwlllphuk! Fuck! Ugh. Ptui… Hraaachhh! Ptui… Oh shit.

  592. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:41

    The vodka talks, and the piano has been drinking.
    ~

  593. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:47

    BLAARGHhhugh! Rohwlllphuk! Fuck! Ugh. Ptui… Hraaachhh! Ptui

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  594. Spearhafoc, who is not a racist, but... said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:47

    BLAARGHhhugh! Rohwlllphuk! Fuck! Ugh. Ptui… Hraaachhh! Ptui…

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  595. Spearhafoc, who is just kidding, I'm totally a racist, said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:48

    BLAARGHhhugh! Rohwlllphuk! Fuck! Ugh. Ptui… Hraaachhh! Ptui…

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  596. vodka said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:50

    Given that I aspire to be tasteless, Smut and I should get along well.

  597. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:52

    I regret to say I’ve never been to regretsy.

  598. Another Kiwi said,

    September 15, 2012 at 0:59

    It’s the first turn on your right after the Romney Paul intersection. Kinda goopy looking

  599. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:04

    It’s another Eliminationist Friday with Mark Krikorian!

  600. John Revolta said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:10

    Feckin’ fackin’ frack.

    Some idiot decides to start acting out at the DMV this afternoon an hour before I get there and now I gotta go BACK ANOTHER DAY to renew my plates.

    Well, this is IT. I’ve had it upta HERE (my hand is RIGHT under my nose) with these lousy terrists. In fact, until ALL the Muslins go BACK to WHEREVER I may just hafta TYPE IN ALL CAPS UNTIL OBAMMA GROWS A PAIR AND BLARRRGLE ARRRGGLLE BALAAAAAAAAAGGHH FECK FECK FECK FECK SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    WAKE UP AMERRRICA

  601. Smut Clyde said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:15


    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Snoopy R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

    Contains Bonus Elder Sign.

  602. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:16

    PanPOOPotpticon.

  603. bughunter, who has had many conversations with Whisky, said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:21

    Sorry, right initials, wrong naughtlysad.

    It was M. Bouffant.

    Get ‘im!

  604. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:23

    Mark Krikorian: “Satire though it was, Randy Newman’s ‘Political Science’ has lyrics relevant to recent events: [nuke 'em lyrics here]. Any objections?”

    Any objections to satirizing eliminationist sentiments? None at all, Mark, though I wish it wasn’t necessary. Here’s an idea: kill yourself. Any objections?

    Whee I think did a wingnut-style joke! The funniest kind.

  605. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:31

    W. Kiernan said,
    September 14, 2012 at 17:22

    Kind of off-topic, but I saw this article, “House GOP Bill Would Actually End Welfare Reform Work Requirements”, and the first thing that came to mind was, “As Cerberus repeatedly says, It’s Always Projection.”

    It could be argued, however, that this criticism may possibly be somewhat unfair. Maybe the GOP legislators didn’t actually intend to end “welfare work requirements,” but being the bunch of half-assed incompetents that they are, they threw together the proposed bill so sloppily and thoughtlessly that that was an unexpected side-effect.

    Yep. Incompetent cobags.

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/09/how-a-bunch-of-republicans-accidentally-voted-to-end-welfare-to-work-requirements.php

  606. vacuumslayer said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:47

    Omg, bbkf was not here for my “I LOVE YOU, MAN” moment.

    So embarrassed. This calls doe vodka!

  607. vacuumslayer said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:49

    Or “for”

    No one wants doe-flavored vodka. No one except that sicko Smut.

  608. bughunter said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:51

    I think a doe vodka call goes something like:

    grunt grunt grunt HRUNK HRUNK grunt grunt snort

    But I could be wrong, I haven’t been vodka hunting in years.

  609. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:52

    The last thing I expected on dropping by Something Awful was to have the Libya debacle humanized for me in an unexpected way.

    Apparently one of the career foreign service officers just killed was an SA “forum goon” and moderator of note. He looks to have been an all-around good guy.

    I am not an SA forum member (required to even read ‘em over there) but rather someone who appreciates some of the site content. Still, now I feel a tenuous kinship with this Vilerat guy. RIP.

  610. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 1:58

    PanPOOPotpticon.

    Me, VS, and D-KW are living the dream.

  611. Smut Clyde said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:01

    No one wants doe-flavored vodka. No one except that sicko Smut.
    I got your doe vodka right here.

  612. tigris said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:02

    No one wants doe-flavored vodka. No one except that sicko Smut.

    He would know where to get the right bottle.

  613. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:04

    I got your doe vodka right here.

    I had a little trouble reading the label. “Product of Leland?” I thought. “Is that even a country?”

  614. Smut Clyde said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:05

    Doe vodka serving suggestion.

  615. bughunter said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:08

    Wisconsin Judge hands a Big Fuck You Note to Scott Walker.

    One for our team!

  616. bughunter said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:11

    Dunnow about doe vodka, but there is a Stag Vino.

    (It’s actually rather good wine.)

  617. Chris said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:18

    Wisconsin Judge hands a Big Fuck You Note to Scott Walker.

    Ah, Scott Walker. That colossal asshole is a colossal asshole. Glad someone told him to fuck off.

  618. Major Kong said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:20

    Ugh. Long week at work. Haven’t had much time to post.

  619. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:29

    Hooray for Wisconsin! …

    OT, I seem to encounter a wierd profusion of web ads with this format:

    “Mom publishes simple wrinkle secret that has angered doctors”
    Or the ubiquitous “Language professors hate him!”

    How to nail down the formula? There’s a secret. It’s quite simple. The hero who brings it to the masses is an ordinary person. He/she angers a certain elite by doing so. These elites act as info gatekeepers. It is in their interest to make simple matters seem complex so that you’ll seek professional help or, god forbid, learn difficult and complex material yourself. But you’re too street-smart for that. You want and deserve specific results now and easily. Behind all the smoke-and-mirrors of specialized knowledge, there’s a three-step plan of action, amirite? So what more do you need? “Cut to the chase!” you say. “I’ve got lotsa momming to do, and five languages to master before Tuesday!”

    Tot babbles simple cosmology that has angered physicists

  620. Spearhafoc, who is just kidding, I'm totally a racist, said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:33

    Contains Bonus Elder Sign.

    That’s August Derleth’s design. This is the one Lovecraft himself drew in a letter he wrote.

  621. bughunter said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:36

    Regretsy Lady has interesting bio.

  622. Smut Clyde said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:39

    Which version is printed on teh Mormon protective underwear??

  623. bughunter said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:45

    Smut, I always thought it was this one.

  624. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 15, 2012 at 2:47

    OT, I seem to encounter a wierd profusion of web ads with this format:

    “Mom publishes simple wrinkle secret that has angered doctors”
    Or the ubiquitous “Language professors hate him!”

    I could happily spend the rest of my life never seeing that two-flash of someone squeezing a fat belly over something like “Weird old trick to lose 10 pounds in a week.”

  625. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 15, 2012 at 4:02

    Gee, this is a fun toy for word freaks…

    http://corpus.byu.edu/coca/

  626. Another Kiwi said,

    September 15, 2012 at 4:38

    Subby that Krikoriawhosiwatist thread has a new entry
    Yes, he’s quoting “The White Man’s Burden. Fucking A!!!

  627. Another Kiwi said,

    September 15, 2012 at 4:43

    Smut, that doe vodka is a buffalo gal. I’ve herd it’s quite good.

  628. Smut Clyde said,

    September 15, 2012 at 4:54

    I herd that they go round the outside.

  629. Another Kiwi said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:03

    Round their Hornes you say? Very bold statement

  630. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:08

    Square candies that look round?

  631. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:17

    It’s another Eliminationist Friday with Mark Krikorian!

    As I remarked over there:

    Satire: basically, it’s a Geiger Counter for stupid.

    Strangely enough, said comment posted instantly, with no “now wait until we approve your comment, trollscum” notification whatsoever … the NRO Decency Kommisars appear to be AWOL at the moment.

  632. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:18

    “Gee, this is a fun toy for word freaks…”

    It is as if BYU wants me to feel conflicted about them. This I like alot.

    I hereby invite all Mormons involved in admirable works to come on over. I will personally labor to imagine what it is about your background or beliefs that could be more broadly, well, “leveraged” and honored. In return I ask you to consider questioning a bunch of obvious nonsense.

  633. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:22

    Nice work, Jim. I won’t try to dress it up: you’re a Geiger counter for awesome.

  634. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:27

    Know who else has a neat thing? George Mason University.

  635. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:32

    Yes, he’s quoting “The White Man’s Burden. Fucking A!!!

    They’re edging closer to this.

  636. Golem Heart said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:33

    My familiarity with the George Mason Speech/Accent archive is this: you can trick people in a particular way.

    Play the sound tracks out of context. Ask them to describe the recordings or subject matter or whatever you please. They will do so (the fools) without realizing that these are recordings meant to document speech patterns and accents. As for you, you might learn that the recordings have other documentary potentials.

  637. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    September 15, 2012 at 5:58

    I’ll just leave this here.

  638. Spearhafoc, who is waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 15, 2012 at 6:30

    Which version is printed on teh Mormon protective underwear??

    I’m guessing the Yellow Sign*.

    *Pee joke and a reference to Robert W. Chambers’ The King in Yellow.

  639. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 15, 2012 at 6:32

    Stupid nym. That’s what you get for copying and pasting.

  640. Snorghagen said,

    September 15, 2012 at 7:16

    the George Mason Speech/Accent archive

    The British Library has a lot of that kind of stuff.

  641. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 20:08

    I feel like i’m wandering a movie-apocalypse wasteland.

  642. El Manquécito said,

    September 15, 2012 at 20:47

    Deer Vodka,

    It’s me, el Manquécito….

  643. Suddenly appearing, a wild Zombie said,

    September 15, 2012 at 21:20

    Unngh! Braiiins…..

  644. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 21:22

    BLAM!

  645. Wind, in desolate landscape said,

    September 15, 2012 at 21:56

    (…whisper…)

  646. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:09

    Crickets.

  647. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:13

    Tumbleweed.

  648. Snorghagen said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:30

    In the distance, a lone rider can be seen approaching. As he draws near, he stops, wipes the sweat from his brow, takes a drink from his canteen, leans forward in his saddle, and has a long look at the empty, lifeless thread that stretches before him as far as the eye can see.

    He says “Fuck this shit”, turns around, and rides off.

  649. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:32

    It’s not who we carve that shows us up, it’s who we don’t carve.
    A municipal engineer can’t make you feel pallid without your warrant officer.
    A forest ranger can’t make you feel bald without your bread.
    Cheese bites are signs of Odin’s construction.
    A champagne flute is the pregnant banker of dittoheads.

  650. bbkf said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:33

    Have fun, bbkf. Maybe it’s just the vodka talking, but you are one of the coolest, nicest people I’ve met online.

    no, it is not just the vodka talking…and right back at you! i’ll prolly say more nice things after i drink a bunch of whiskey, so stay tuned…

  651. teh thread said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:34

    Was is something I said?

    Sigh.

  652. teh thread said,

    September 15, 2012 at 22:35

    Not including typos…………..

  653. Nym said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:09

    Rick Santorum on Being Conservative: ‘We Will Never Have the Elite, Smart People on Our Side’

    A-heh.

  654. Major Kong said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:22

    We Will Never Have the Elite, Smart People on Our Side

    Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

  655. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:30

    If you’re smart enough to read them…

  656. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:32

    Warning: thread approaching 666

  657. N__B said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:37

    EEEEEEEEEEEEBIIIIIIIIIL

  658. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:45

    Can any of you music fuckers ID the tune used in <a href="”>this WPLN bumper?

    TIA!
    .

  659. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 15, 2012 at 23:47

    Erm.

    Not even drunk yet.
    .

  660. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 0:29

    And speaking of music, you old fart prog-heads need to give a free listen to Portland’s Tuna. I’m very happy to know the parents of two of these fine young men, and amazed and grateful that the youngsters are still interested in carrying this particular torch. Three thumbs up.
    .

  661. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 0:55

    I caint place it. Shazam weren’t no help neiver. You could call them and ask.

  662. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 0:58

    I caint place it. Shazam weren’t no help neiver. You could call them and ask.

    Oh, the sadness is that I KNOW someone who works at the station…! … who keeps forgetting to ask for me.
    .

  663. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 1:16

    How interesting

    http://politicalwire.com/archives/2012/09/15/hidden_video_shows_romney_at_a_fundraiser.html

  664. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 1:26

    How interesting

    Is that what the kids are calling it, these days?

    In my day, we called that “So infuriating, I’d drive a rusty, burred and coated-in-road-salt telephone augur up his ass at 150RPM.”
    .

  665. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:04

    Re “get me a sammich, bitch”

    http://www.foodandwine.com/slideshows/best-sandwiches-in-the-us/3

    Sort of randomly ended up there for lunch yesterday. Thought about the tuna melt but I had the pork belly Cubano. Mang was it good. Teh Ho had the pulled pork with apple cabbage slaw and mustard. it too was excellent.

  666. N__B said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:13

    How hot must one heat tuna before it melts?

  667. Golem Heart said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:32

    You could ask Jorma Kaukonen.

  668. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:34

    You could ask Jorma Kaukonen.

    Or me!
    .

  669. N__B said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:38

    One fish makes you hotter
    And one fish makes you cool
    But the fish that Jeebus sells you
    Makes you look like a damned fool
    Go eat tuna
    ‘Til you are full

  670. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:43

    One fish makes you hotter
    And one fish makes you cool
    But the fish that Jeebus sells you
    Makes you look like a damned fool
    Go eat tuna
    ‘Til you are full

    No more callers. We have a winner!
    .

  671. Snorghagen said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:52

    The song was originally entitled ‘White Albacore’.

  672. N__B said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:55

    It would, of course, be ridiculous to imagine a tuna wearing a vest and looking at his pocket watch.

  673. S. cerevisiae said,

    September 16, 2012 at 2:58

    You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish…

  674. Snorghagen said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:17

    Nor can you smoke corned beef hash.

  675. Pupienus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:30

    Heh. Hot Tuna is playing the Aladdin next week. Alas, Canned Heat is not the opening act.

  676. Pupienus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:35

    Nor can you smoke corned beef hash.

    Another time I might be inclined to dispute that. Until such time, I will only point out that the smoker you drink the player you get.

  677. Pupienus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:36

    Another time I might not fuck up the tag.

  678. Pupienus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:43

    I never knew!
    èê?rÿ?ü?ó. and more. Are right there on the iPhone keypad! More BÖC cOming right up!

  679. Pupienus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:44

    FuckIng FIVE, fothermuckers!

  680. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:48

    The song was originally entitled ‘White Albacore’.

    One of my favorite lines from The Sopranos: “JEEEEEEzus Christ, ‘Livia! You’re like an albacore around my neck!”
    .

  681. Major Kong said,

    September 16, 2012 at 3:59

    You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish…

    That was pre-1980s, when REO Speedwagon was still a (sort of) Rock and Roll band.

  682. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 16, 2012 at 4:01

    That was pre-1980s, when REO Speedwagon was still a (sort of) Rock and Roll band.

    Rickrath(sp.?)’s overbends still cause me to cringe.
    .

  683. Cerberus said,

    September 16, 2012 at 4:07

    Hey look, new posts really do exist!

  684. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    September 16, 2012 at 4:42

    “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

    Comment mango:

    Liberals stand behind the ideas of today, but Conservatives wish to protect the ideas of the past 300 years, knowing full well that the genius of over 3 centuries combined exceeds the genius in our current generation (just by sheer numerical strength). Because their reliance is on protecting the genius of the past, they are obviously not the side a genius of today would likely side with, as the geniuses of today seek immediate changes. Conservatives aren’t opposed to change and thinking, but to acting too quickly and rashly.

    … or not.

    Conservative culture ran the civilization show unopposed for millennia, & hoo boy was mankind ever buku conservative: you inevitably died (young) within walking distance of where you were born & your life was completely interchangeable with that of someone living a century or more before you.

    The past few generations have seen more progress than ALL OF FUCKING HUMAN HISTORY PUT TOGETHER, an epic quantum leap that just happened to take place since those stinking godless pot-smoking liberals have had a fundamental influence on world culture like never before.

    Not opposed to change & thinking? Tell it to the Texas GOP, motherfucker. They actively HATE lucid thought & they’re out to extirpate it with extreme prejudice, reality be damned.

    Slavery? Women’s suffrage? Human rights? Ecology? Disarmament? Labour unions? Name an issue in modern history & you’ll find the Cons on the wrong side of it, concern-trolling like a bitch in heat on behalf of wealthy scumbags who love them some status quo. The genius of three centuries seems to keep fucking the pooch EVERY SINGLE TIME when it really counts, so perhaps it belongs in the dustbin of history, given that it has demonstrably lost basic functionality in a high-tech industrial society.

    [ /rant ]

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