Aug
28

I’m A Hindi Doodle Dandy




Posted at 23:52 by Tintin

ABOVE: Dinesh D’Souza, Maharajah of Gomaya

Shorter Dinesh D’Souza, Forbes:
How Obama Thinks

  • As a true-blooded American, I can tell you that Obama is not really American

Dinesh D’Souza, arguably the ugliest person alive, has still not earned enough in wingnut welfare to get his ears tucked so that he doesn’t bear an unsettling resemblance to the offspring of an unholy coupling between Dumbo and Ganesh, an unfortunate fact not solved by the fact that his name is a contraction of his two apparent parents. But now that his ugly mug is plastered all over American cineplexes, we’ve shortered an article in Forbes from two years ago where Dinesh mounted his favorite hobby horse that has now been made into a feature length, er, movie. The hobby horse, as you may know, is that Obama is, somehow, not really an American but instead some transnational Maoist Mau Mau-ist motivated solely by a hatred of anti-colonialism. This leads him to govern the country according to secret messages he receives from his dead father and various other departed souls such as Leon Trotsky, Frantz Fanon and, of course, the Prophet Mohammed.

But we have been blinded to his real agenda because, across the political spectrum, we all seek to fit him into some version of American history. In the process, we ignore Obama’s own history. Here is a man who spent his formative years–the first 17 years of his life–off the American mainland, in Hawaii, Indonesia and Pakistan, with multiple subsequent journeys to Africa.

Now after you stop snickering that Mr. More American Than George Washington Himself apparently thinks that Hawaii is some kind of foreign country, let’s mosey over to Wikipedia and see what Mr. D’Souza did for his first 17 years. I am assuming, of course, that for those first 17 years young Dinesh memorized the Constitution, made pocket-money by selling American flags that he hand stitched in his own basement while listening to baseball games, and won numerous awards each year in essay contests where he submitted essays named, variously, “Why I Am Proud To Be an American,” “What The Founding Fathers Mean To Me,” “America, Not Europe, Invented Hamburgers,” and “Why The Star-Spangled Banner Always Brings Tears to My Eyes.”

D’Souza was born in Mumbai, Maharashtra, India, [in 1961] to Goan Catholic parents from the state of Goa in Western India.[17] He arrived in the United States in 1978.

Holy Bat, Shitman! Unless Maharashtra has become the 51st state, Dinesh spent his first 17 years eating biryani, not burgers, playing cricket, not baseball, tipping sacred cows not dairy cows, and listening to Usha Uthup, not Elvis. And now he gets to decide who is really American and who isn’t? That’s rather like letting Mitt Romney decide which is the best macaroni and cheese that comes in a box.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

339 Comments »

  1. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 28, 2012 at 23:56

    Suck on this, Bozo.

  2. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:06

    I find it amusing that D’Souza thinks that anti-colonialism would be seen as a negative by Americans.

  3. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:08

    offspring of an unholy coupling between Dumbo and Ganesh

    Where’s Mr. Bean?

  4. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:11

    I’m not bothered by the fact that he’s an immigrant. I’m bothered by the fact that he thinks he can use the President’s background to create all kinds of imaginary motivations and mental state that makes him “un-American.” Please tell me, Dinesh, what actions has our President taken that would validate your bullshit claims?

    Also, and too. What’s so fucking good about being a provincial narrow-minded asshole? I thought having a little perspective about the world around us might be, I dunno, a good thing in a President. Silly me.

  5. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:16

    FIFTH!

  6. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:17

    Also, and too. What’s so fucking good about being a provincial narrow-minded asshole? I thought having a little perspective about the world around us might be, I dunno, a good thing in a President. Silly me.

    Silly you indeed, a (how you say?) “little perspective about the world around us” tends to lead someone to being a liberal.

  7. John Revolta said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:21

    We’ve got to get this guy together with Gabriela Saucedo Mercer and grab a ton of popcorn.

  8. tigris said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:22

    Romney comes from another planet, so advantage Obama!

    And every damn line in that piece is so outrageously false I’m surprised D’Souza’s fingers didn’t fall off in protest.

  9. Cole said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:22

    I’m sure it’s an overcompensating inferiority complex.

    I have a bro-in-law with the same affliction: he’s Armenian, came to California from Iran (by way of an Italian religious boarding school) when he was 17-18, not speaking a lick of Americanish, so he still has a very heavy accent in his 60s. He votes Republican, got hisself a good-ole-boy Realtor license, married a blond bimbo (my wife’s sister), joined the most holier-than-thou fuckhead church that doesn’t believe that the assholes who invented Xtianity (namely Catholics) are fucking Christians, and changed his name from Shahen to Sean, and the poor bastard doesn’t seem to get that his rightwing friends still can’t tell the difference between him, Mexicans, or anyone from the Scary Middle East.

    Unfortunately, America seems to attract this sort a lot more than we deserve.

    Okay, maybe we do deserve ‘em.

  10. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:24

    PENIS.

  11. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:34

    I have a bro-in-law with the same affliction…

    Oooh, I bet Thanksgiving dinner is fun.

  12. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:37

    Repeating my comment from the last thread because, well, it’s relevant.

    A Mexican immigrant herself who became a U.S. citizen, she said the issue was important because people from places other than Mexico were among those coming across the border illegally.

    So wait, since they found a Mexican racist whore, now all the Mexicans EXCEPT THIS CUNT and Marco Rubio who isn’t really Mexican but those guys are all the same so no diff are totally bad border jumping spics and ALL Middle Easterners are bad.

    Roger that.

  13. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:43

    So wait, since they found a Mexican racist whore, now all the Mexicans EXCEPT THIS CUNT and Marco Rubio who isn’t really Mexican but those guys are all the same so no diff are totally bad border jumping spics and ALL Middle Easterners are bad.

    Well of course! Immigrants are good if they will clean our* houses and do our all our* other shit work for next to no money, and then vote GOP if they ever manage to jump through the myriad hoops to become citizens.

    Otherwise they’re ebilsocialestislamofascistdoubleungoodhitlerterrorists times eleventy.

    Duh.

    *for values of “our” made up exclusively of the 1%

  14. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:54

    I find it amusing that D’Souza thinks that anti-colonialism would be seen as a negative by Americans.

    that caught me up too…i’m pretty certain he feels it’s a negative also…which i’m sure is some sort of stockholm syndrome symptom…

  15. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 0:57

    If this were the 1700s D’Souza would side with the British so it all makes perfect sense.

  16. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:01

    I thought having a little perspective about the world around us might be, I dunno, a good thing in a President

    That’s because you have it. If you didn’t have it, you’d think Bush Jr was an alright dude. You know, the cowboy who was a cheerleader for Yale…

  17. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:06

    Does anyone else have this surreal feeling about how weird shit has gotten?

    Seems like even 20 years ago, a presidential candidate would have been bounced out of the primary race if it was discovered that he was stashing millions of dollars in Cayman and Swiss bank accounts to evade taxes. We stuck Capone in prison for evading taxes.

    Am I crazy or is shit getting more goofy and fucked up by the day?

  18. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:09

    Am I crazy or is shit getting more goofy and fucked up by the day?

    It’s possible that “yes” is the answer to both questions. “Yes” definitely is to the latter.

  19. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:10

    Yeah, I guess those are two different and unrelated questions, isn’t it?

  20. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:11

    aren’t they?

    HOLY FUCK I’M DUMM

  21. Seriously, NOT the Doughy Pantload said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:23

    D’Souza was born in Mumbai, Maharashtra, India, [in 1961] to Goan Catholic parents from the state of Goa

    Goans from Goa? Who could have guessed?

  22. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:26

    I’M DUMM

    I attribute it to the crazy.

  23. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:27

    So his articles are groaners from the grown son of Goans.

  24. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:37

    There are too many puns here. I’m goin’.

  25. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:39

    Goin, goout, just get Goan.

  26. Dhalgren said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:53

    Goa is also one of the biggest sources of the word’s cashews. It was also a former Portuguese colony (hence his Portuguese name) So presumably D’Souza was eating foreign nuts, not good ‘ol Americun peanuts. Another fail.

  27. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 1:57

    Bihar’d to top that.

  28. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:00

    That’s rather like letting Mitt Romney decide which is the best macaroni and cheese that comes in a box.

    Oh! The one that’s made with tagliatelle and white truffles… I reckon.

  29. The Greek Orthodox Church said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:04

    the assholes who invented Xtianity (namely Catholics)

    Harrumph.

  30. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:05

    Obama’s foreign policy is no less strange. He supports a $100 million mosque scheduled to be built near the site where terrorists in the name of Islam brought down the World Trade Center. Obama’s rationale, that “our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakable,” seems utterly irrelevant to the issue of why the proposed Cordoba House should be constructed at Ground Zero.

    New York you are OUT.

  31. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:06

    Goa is also one of the biggest sources of the word’s cashews.

    Go on.

  32. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:06

    That’s rather like letting Mitt Romney decide which is the best macaroni and cheese that comes in a box.

    I think he’s more interested in the best macaroni and cheese that comes from a company with sellable assets and a fully loaded, raidable pension fund.

  33. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:09

    Goan is my favourite Dragon Ball character.

  34. Pryme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:10

    Only in the GOP would have someone with a more foreign-sounding name than the POTUS claim that said-POTUS is not a true American.

    Also: didn’t get to re-chime in on the “adult film star” convo, but I’ll just say “Nautica Thorne & Alanah Rae” and be done with it*.

    * = I would have added “Sasha Grey,” but she’s apparently retired.

  35. Pryme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:13

    Oh, and…HA! : http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021218111

  36. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:16

    If we are gonna have a pun thread with D’Shithead in it, we will have to be sure to get in plenty of insults. Punjabs, you might call them.

  37. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:16

    A writer for New York magazine is present for a D’Souza diatribe about Obama, delivered to an audience of students and “two potential donors” at the shitass college of which he is the president:

    By now the two potential donors have left the room looking ashen. Chris Ross, an employee of the college who is “facilitating” my visit by never leaving my side, winces slightly every time I write something down. As he escorts me out of the building, he says, “Remember that President D’Souza speaks for himself, not for the school.”

    Shitass College is located in the Empire State Building. I hope D’Souza wasn’t inconvenienced by having to step over shell casings from that shooting last week. The poor dear might have thought for a half-second about how much the people he enables love guns and where that’s gotten us.

  38. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:20

    Also: didn’t get to re-chime in on the “adult film star” convo, but I’ll just say “Nautica Thorne & Alanah Rae” and be done with it*.

    And I’ll repeat Nikki Rhodes and Lexi Belle.

  39. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:30

    Shitass College is located in the Empire State Building.
    I’m just imagining the conversation:

    NORMAL PERSON: So, where did you go to school?
    TKC GRAD: The King’s College.
    NP: Oh, Cambridge?
    TKCG: No, THE King’s College. As in… Jesus?
    NP: *aghast stare*

  40. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 2:34

    Dinesh, whodo the Hindu that youdo so well?

  41. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 3:20

    i find it amusing that ‘willard’ is showing on encore while the rnc is also on the air…

  42. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 3:31

    From previous tred …

    Oh really, Maggie? They’re calling you evil? Why that’s horrible!

    NOM NEVER does that sort of thing.

  43. bughunter said,

    August 29, 2012 at 3:31

    Goa is also one of the biggest sources of psychedelic drug music for those darn kids to be listnin’ to while trippin’ on ecstasy.

    Of course it also plays very nice with old school doses like LSD and psilocybin.

  44. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 3:38

    The money shot from that link:

    The ideological divide between me and the BYU student may have been small, but NOM had spent the entire weekend trying to widen it by teaching her that gays and lesbians – including me – are unstable, dangerous, and unworthy of raising their own families. Despite the promise to focus on “marriage, not gayness,” ITAF had been a veritable crash course in demonizing LGBT people.

    That’s because, for NOM, there really isn’t much distance between being “anti-gay marriage” and being “anti-gay” – the latter motivates the former. “Raising the negative on homosexuality,” as one NOM memo put it, is a central part of the organization’s effort to defeat same-sex marriage. Even Morse recently confessed that NOM’s decision to publically attack gay marriage instead of gay people is purely “strategic.”

    ITAF showcased the kind of anti-gay animus that activists have for years accused NOM of harboring behind closed doors. In the public eye, NOM depicts itself as fair-minded and moderate pro-marriage group. In reality, it’s the kind of organization that seeks to train college students to justify anti-gay bigotry by relying on stereotypes, pseudoscience, and a sizable dose of right-wing religious extremism. 

    But if you have time, read the whole thing – it’s worth it.

  45. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 3:41

    I had a nasty tooth infection while I was in Goa. The bright side of it was that I got to meet a very interesting local doctor who was in her 80′s and going blind, but still practicing. At first I think that she suspected that I was just after some exotic pain killers, but she warmed up to me. She couldn’t believe that no American doctor had ever prescribed clove oil – which actually does work very well, despite its poor profit potential.

  46. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 29, 2012 at 3:49

    Wasn’t clove oil what Laurence Olivier offered Dustin Hoffman after torturing him dentally in Marathon Man? No wonder no American doctor prescribes that stuff. It’s Nazi (or Commie or whatever Olivier was in that movie).

  47. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 4:10

    Oooh thanks Pup!

    I also wasn’t keen on the idea of having to pretend to be straight in front of dozens of strangers for four days, as I didn’t expect I’d be able to attend a NOM conference as an openly gay man without raising a few eyebrows.

    He was probably in the 75% majority.

    That night, I arrived at my hotel to discover that I would be sharing a room with another ITAF attendee – a man who described himself as “pro-life, pro-family, pro-Christianity from top to bottom, through and through.”

    Top to bottom mmmm? *reaches for popcorn*

    She called same-sex relationships “inherently unstable,” suggesting that gay partners eventually get bored of each other as a result of having the same gender.

    This NEVER happens to straight people, for whom the expression “seven year itch” was never coined.

    He encouraged his audience to visit pro-LGBT news outlets to “know what your opponents are thinking,” joking about the number of ads for “gay hookup sites”

    Huh huh and dude, if you click on one of those ads… it’s really stupid, but you can fill out this profile of yourself. I just did it as a joke, of course. But you can totally research what it’s like to go to a Super 8 off of the highway and suck off a meth head who only makes you pay like $20 for it. It really opens your eyes to how depraved the gay lifestyle is.

  48. John D. said,

    August 29, 2012 at 4:22

    D’Souza’s nickname at Dartmouth was – and I am not making this up – D’Stort D’Newza. Because of his tendency to, y’know, lie about everything.

  49. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 29, 2012 at 4:34

    joking about the number of ads for “gay hookup sites”

    Because I never see ads for straight hookup sites on the Internet.

    All those ads for “Russian girls who can’t say no” with photoshopped pictures of Denise Milani* are actually ads requesting instructors to teach non-English-speaking Russian women how to say simple words like “yes” and “no”.

    *What’s the point of photoshopping Denise Milani anyway? The woman is stick thin and has boobs bigger than her head. She looks like she was built by a horny 13-year-old boy (or possibly me, but that’s pretty much the same thing). Does she really need to be even thinner and bustier, ad-maker-dude?

  50. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 29, 2012 at 4:41

    The woman is stick thin and has boobs bigger than her head.

    Boy howdy! How does the poor woman walk without falling face-down each step?

  51. Pryme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 4:54

    Alrighty then: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/28/opinion/brooks-the-real-romney.html?_r=1

  52. Lancelot Link said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:03

    Bonus irony from that article;
    I listened to NOM’s Morse celebrate the announcement of San Francisco’s new archbishop, Salvatore Cordileone – often referred to as the “godfather” of Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that banned gay marriage. Morse called the announcement a “poke in the eye to Castro Street,”

    Turns out it was a poke in the eye to Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. Oops!

  53. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:09

    Wasn’t clove oil what Laurence Olivier offered Dustin Hoffman after torturing him dentally in Marathon Man?

    Yes. Is it safe?

    Shit really does work – when I had a dry socket they packed wadding soaked in clove oil into it.

  54. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:09

    Pryme: What’s really nauseating is how they’re fellating him in the comments over that lame shit.

  55. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:10

    Though I have to admit enjoying the Tylenol with codeine that they also gave me.

  56. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:12

    They have this “debt clock” on the stage at the goober con? Teh Ho tells me someone suggested they put up a sign, “We made this.”

  57. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:14

    bobdamn i love jon stewart!

  58. Smut Clyde said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:28

    How does the poor woman walk without falling face-down each step?
    A rucksack.

  59. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:35

    ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…let colbert be the r.n.c.!!!!

  60. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:37

    mystery guest…

  61. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:40

    That would require a different universe’s GOP, bbkf.
    ~

  62. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 29, 2012 at 5:45

    Attendee threw peanuts at black CNN camerawoman, saying “This is how we feed animals”.

  63. Lancelot Link said,

    August 29, 2012 at 6:08

    Check out the respect they showed the delegate from Puerto Rico
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr5kMguEqi8

  64. mr. mike said,

    August 29, 2012 at 8:00

    Attendee threw peanuts at black CNN camerawoman, saying “This is how we feed animals.”

    ….And the convention becomes the 1934 Nuremburg Rally. The security wears brown, the audience is white, focusing national hatreds are the real agenda.

    Where is the Bear Jew when we need him the most?

  65. M. Bouffant said,

    August 29, 2012 at 8:09

    Considering that D’Souza’s ancestors apparently couldn’t wait to sign on w/ their Portuguese conquerors & start sucking up to the Pope, I’m hardly surprised he thinks being anti-colonialist is not a good thing.

    Christ, what an asshole.

  66. stackozone said,

    August 29, 2012 at 9:06

    “I want to talk a little bit about what I call the unique villainy of Barack Obama,” D’Souza, 50, says with a grin. “In my view, it’s the villainy of nondisclosure.”

    Waiting on “D’Sousa” to out Mitt’s “villany” regarding his nondisclosed IRS returns – no worries – I’ll wait.

  67. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 29, 2012 at 10:52

    Waiting on “D’Sousa” to out Mitt’s “villany” regarding his nondisclosed IRS returns – no worries – I’ll wait.

    In that case, it’s the heroism of nondisclosure because, SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!!! Next up, Dinesh dishes about the “moral relativism” of liberals.

  68. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 12:29

    Next up, the tragedy of noncompetes.

  69. kg's prostate said,

    August 29, 2012 at 13:06

    Goans from Goa? Who could have guessed?

    Guans more likely.

  70. JoeBuddha said,

    August 29, 2012 at 14:03

    I still remember the Daily Show interview when he was pimping his book (no, I don’t remember which one). Jon spent the interview gently pointing out that D’Souza’s whole premise was shit. Good times…

  71. Pryme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 14:26

    bobdamn i love jon stewart!

    I love how his coverage for the RNC Convention is titled: “The Road to Jeb Bush 2016.”

  72. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 15:06

    I’m looking forward to the Jeb/Christie/Ryan cage match in 2016. Although, as Charlie Pierce has pointed out, Ryan seems to have a glass jaw.

  73. Gerald Fnord said,

    August 29, 2012 at 15:49

    Primary:
    Don’t you remember that adopting bigotry against Black People is one of the prime steps in Americanisation? This insight is common to both “How the Irish Became White” and Richard Pryor’s bit about Vietnamese people kept off-shore until they could pronounce ‘nigger’ adequately.

    You are standing between a man unfortunate enough to be born in Wogtown who wishes to become a solid citizen of the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth.

    (I note with pride that my own people’s American-ness is still suspect in some quarters, and I think that this has something to do with our only three-quarters-arsedly adopting this particular bigotry, at least for a large fraction of our numbers.)

    Secondary:
    I agree with the post, but I’d hold off on making fun of his name, which is a very common Deshi name—and we have so much more and better in readiness against him, some of which estimable armamentorium was later on display in the post.

    (Sorry to be a prude, but Bigotry is the Weapon of the Enemy, and imagine if a right-wing nut had done similarly with [say] my grandfather Schlomo’s name?)

  74. bughunter said,

    August 29, 2012 at 16:05

    I agree with Fnord. I try to refrain from (sincere, serious) racial, culture, gender or sexual-preference based attacks here because I don’t want to stoop to their level.*

    The closest I’ve come is expressing bewilderment that a Latina congresswoman should make comments lumping Muslims with Mexicans because of their skin color and accusing them of universally intending harm to the US.

    Now, being a lying, bigoted, ignorant dumbass, and showing it: that’s fair game.

    And there’s plenty of that to go around…

    *(Fat and ugly I might play with, but only as a secondary amusement.)

  75. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 16:10

    So how is “The King’s College” anything more than a vanity university? It’s a vanity project from some evangelicals with more money than sense, intended for students in the same situation.

    I mean What’s the point of going to NYC for an education if the quality of that education is lower than what you might get at the Hog Waller Holler Institute of Technology? If you wanted the New York City experience, freaking move there already. Take two years at a community college and get an associate degree in business, and two years in the unaccredited small town holy roller madrasa of your choice and you’d get a better education and still come out hundred grand or two ahead. Think I’m kidding? All in, tuition, fees, and expenses is just north of $40K year. (source: http://www.tkc.edu/finaid/tuitionfees.asp )

    If you’re lucky, the hiring manager at whatever place is desperate enough for warm bodies to examine your The King’s College CV, will think, is that you didn’t quite have the chops to get into the top rated school for Elvis impersonators and had to settle.

  76. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 16:13

    Don’t you remember that adopting bigotry against Black People is one of the prime steps in Americanisation?

    I’m amazed by how much raw bigotry I encounter among gay white men. I don’t think it is more prevalent than in the general population, but it still baffles me. It’s like, where do you think gay people learned how to have a civil rights movement?

    We seem to be on a cusp where rich Republicans are getting tired of denying the full benefit of their privilege to their gay children, but homophobia is still needed to supplement racism in rallying the “base”

    The question is whether the future belongs to, “pay no attention to the economic reaming we’re giving you brown people, the gays are after your kids!” or, “you brown people are stealing my gay white money.” I guess that demographic shifts favor the former, while class bias prefers the latter. Either way I need a breakfast martini.

  77. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 16:46

    I mean What’s the point of going to NYC for an education if the quality of that education is lower than what you might get at the Hog Waller Holler Institute of Technology?

    Better access to drugs other than meth; better-looking hookers.

  78. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 16:58

    Granted, but still, you can move to NYC and get all of that without going $40,000 in debt/year. Heck, you could get all of that by moving to Omaha.

  79. bughunter said,

    August 29, 2012 at 16:59

    Bodegas!

  80. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:00

    Better access to drugs other than meth; better-looking hookers.

    Yes, they’ll have some tough competition when they graduate, but I guess if you can make it here you can make it anywhere.

  81. Major Kong said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:14

    Why would evangelicals want to go to college in NYC? It’s full of liberals, Jews (and not the good rapture-hastening Israeli kind) and swarthy minorities.

    Wouldn’t they be happier at the West Texas Bible College and Diesel Engine Mechanics School in Lubbock?

  82. Pryme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:16

    Ruh-roh:

    Never the most comfortable members of the Republican party, Paulites have now suffered their final insult at the hands of the party. The Paul delegates who marched out of the convention were also taking their fellow supporters along with them, and marching right on out of the party. Doing a quick run through the internet this morning, blog after Paulite blog, website after Paulite website is urging fellow Paulites to either stay home or vote Libertarian, and they probably will, in droves.

    The Paulites were always like old, sweaty dynamite, if not handled gently, they would blow up in your faces, and that is exactly what happened. The funny thing is, the Republicans really needed these people on board, really needed their organization. The Paulites were important not just for their numbers(roughly about ten percent of the party), but for their expertise in grassroots politics. Nobody, absolutely nobody in the Republican party knew how to work the grassworks circuit better than the Ron Paul machine.

    Now, that expertise is gone, along with all those votes. This means that Romney’s chances for winning the election have just decreased, badly. After all, who would have more chance of winning over a backwoods uber conservative voter in Arkansas, a Paulite campaigner who speaks his language, or some pasty white boy in a shirt and tie who’s just been bussed in from St. Louis? Yeah, they’re going to need that Paulite ground game.

    But hey…money equals speech, right? Who needs grassroots mobilization when you have dumptrucks full of cash?

  83. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:28

    Why would evangelicals want to go to college in NYC? It’s full of liberals, Jews (and not the good rapture-hastening Israeli kind) and swarthy minorities.

    Better access to drugs other than meth; better-looking hookers.

  84. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:32

    The Paultards were always going to get a terminal case of butthurt, it was just a matter of “when” and “why.”

  85. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:40

    Better access to drugs other than meth; better-looking hookers.

    So, why does N_B raise his family in NYC?

  86. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:43

    So, why does N_B raise his family in NYC?

    Better access to mass transportation and selected cultural institutions; better-looking wife and son.

  87. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:43

    Is there an echo in here?

  88. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:57

    Nobody, absolutely nobody in the Republican party knew how to work the grassworks circuit better than the Ron Paul machine.

    Well, yeah, but that’s only because 20-something stoners living with their parents have TIME to work a ground game. I’m totally sure they’ll get the irony behind the freedoms they were granted under the Citizens United decision.

  89. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 17:57

    Is there an echo in here?

  90. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:01

    No.

  91. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:02

    Then again, I seriously doubt that more than 4 or 5 Paulbots are going to actually vote for the Kenyan Muslin Usurper Community Organizer Tyrant Fascist N***r.

    Not gonna happen. Best we can hope for is that they stay home. Since they’re all intellectually challenged dope fiends, odds are in favor of them not showing up to vote…

  92. Echo said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:03

    Yes

  93. duck quack said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:06

    no

  94. tigris said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:11

    better-looking hookers.

    Yeah, but in NYC they won’t be your cousin. Need to keep it in the family.

  95. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:11

    Best we can hope for is that they stay home.

    This would be helpful as it would hurt the Republicans down ticket as well. I suspect many of the Paultards will go and vote for Gary Johnson now. It would be a significant message to the GOP if Romney were to lose to Obama by about the same number of votes cast for the libertarian party.

  96. Echo said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:13

    duck quack said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:06

    no

    -

  97. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:16

    Yeah, but in NYC they won’t be your cousin.

    That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about my cousin.

  98. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:17

    Is there an echo in here?

    i think n_b is just adamant about better drugs and hookers…and actually, i’m sure some of them think of getting their edumacation in nyc as being tossed into the lion’s den…trial by fire…out of the frying pan and into the fire…a lesson in humility…suffering to get on god’s good side…plenty o’ proselytizing opportunities…i think you get my drift…

  99. The Bunnymen said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:40

    Haven’t seen Echo in some time.

  100. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:43

    Teh Ho tells me someone suggested they put up a sign, “We made this.”

    Why won’t Teh Ho comment here? Tell him he’s invited.

  101. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 18:58

    So Saturday, my fiancee and I will be at a cookout where my parents meet her parents for the first time. So that could be fun. Here’s hoping that inviting my brother’s family with their 2 small children can help keep things light.

  102. JohnR said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:08

    One hundred and First!

    So, with regard to Our Dinesh – the old rule springs to mind that there’s no zealot like a convert.

    @Bunnymen: “Haven’t seen Echo in some time”

    I hear you.

  103. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:09

    Manly Kevin Williamson on the convention so far:

    8. Exactly one person has without prompting brought up with me the Middle East, terrorism, or related issues. Everybody seems more afraid of the national debt than of al-Qaeda . . .

    9. . . . with the exception of the event organizers, who have turned friendly little Tampa into something very unpleasantly resembling a prison camp, complete with rooftop patrols, combat gear, gunboats with weapons mounted on monopods, Green Zone–style barriers — the whole works. It is all very un-republican, though it has been conducted with a great deal more professionalism and courtesy than one experiences at the hands of the TSA. Still, it is kind of gross: Either this sort of thing is necessary or it is unnecessary, and neither possibility says anything good about the state of our republic.

  104. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:14

    So Saturday, my fiancee and I will be at a cookout where my parents meet her parents for the first time.

    I recommend lots and lots of alcohol to keep the conversation flowing.

  105. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:18

    So Saturday, my fiancee and I will be at a cookout where my parents meet her parents for the first time. So that could be fun. Here’s hoping that inviting my brother’s family with their 2 small children can help keep things light. – Helmut Monotreme

    Don’t worry. Sometimes these things work out quite well. For example, my parents get along with my mother-in-law much better than my wife gets along with her. To my parents, she’s a charming, eccecentric older woman straight out of a Southern Gothic novel. To my wife, she’s an under-educated, overly stubborn woman straight out of a Southern Gothic novel.

  106. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:19

    i think you get my drift… – bbkf

    So you think it’s less drugs and hookers and more about getting gay sex on the down low?

  107. Harvey Fierstein said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:22

    Where is the Bear Jew when we need him the most?

    You called?

  108. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:25

    Somebody owes me a new keyboard.

  109. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:28

    Obama’s foreign policy is no less strange. He supports a $100 million mosque scheduled to be built near [the site of the former] World Trade Center.

    An opinion about NYC is a foreign policy? No wonder he thinks Hawaii is another country. Major geography fail.

    Or maybe he is refering to the message our domestic policy here sends to foreigners and doesn’t like it one bit. What does he have against religious freedom?

  110. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:35

    Well, Manhattan is an island, just like Hawaii. So neither of those places is really part of the great, white doughy mass of Murka. Hence foreign.

  111. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:37

    The cool thing about The King’s College is that they can charge EVERYBODY foreign tuition rates.

  112. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:38

    I find it amusing that D’Souza thinks that anti-colonialism would be seen as a negative by Americans – b^4

    I find it odd that it is seen as a negative by so many Americans given our own “official” version of our national history.

    Anyway, echoing M. Bouffant’s point about D’Souza’s ancestors, I am not so sure if this is Stockholm Syndrome or “I’m a real ‘Murkin too” posturing. I have family (through a cousin’s marriage) who are Bene Israel: they are rather, um, pro-colonialist (the family had to leave India in the late 1940s because they, as my cousin puts it, chose the wrong side in the Indian war for independence). It’s not surprising: that community did quite well under the British, thank you very much, considering that before the British came they were largely poor oil-pressers.

    I’m sure D’Souza’s family was, way back when, not so high up on the socio-economic ladder but benefitted greatly from colonialism. Which may affect his views to today. So of course he, being a GOoPer projects his family history and pro-colonial inclinations in mirror image onto Obama and assumes that Obama must therefore hate America.

    After all, if Obama didn’t hate America so much, why would he constantly be willing to compromise so much with the radically reactionary GOP … um … er … wait a minute here …

  113. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:47

    I find it amusing that D’Souza thinks that anti-colonialism would be seen as a negative by Americans

    I suspect that to Americans of a certain age and viewpoint, the anti-colonialist efforts by the dusky-hued subjects of the past are inextricably linked with their alliances, i.e. the Communists. Therefore, being anti-colonialist is the same as being a fucking Commie.

    It’s yet another dog whistle.

  114. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:58

    Therefore, being anti-colonialist is the same as being a fucking Commie.

    Yes it was super rude of the communists to point out the natives of colonized countries were getting the shaft. They could even be pardoned for pointing that out to the world at large, but when they made their case to the people being colonized, that was beyond the pale.

  115. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 19:58

    Still going through C. The Conway Twitty piece is from The Rock’n'Roll Years. I shit you not.

    Dead Man's Road ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cinderella
    Lester Leaps In ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Count Basie's Kansas Seven
    Tummy Ache ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris Brown
    Over and Over Again (Lost & Found) ||||||||||||| Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
    Blue Heat ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cabaret Voltaire
    Two Hearts ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris Isaak
    Doin' Alright |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| CunninLynguists
    C'est Si Bon ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Conway Twitty
    Baby I Need You ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Curiosity Shoppe
    Rise & Fall ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Cinematics
    Here I Am Always Am [early 1966 demo] | Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
    Nicanor |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chico Buarque & Ennio Morricone
    My Favourite Game |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Cardigans
    Living Proof ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cat Power
    Effigy |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Creedence Clearwater Revival
    Drug Train |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Cramps
    We're The Couple In The Castle |||||||||||||||||||||||||| Claude Thornhill
    Madonna |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| CocoRosie
    You Always Hurt the One You Love |||||||||||||||||| Clarence Frogman Henry
    Brothers Off The Block |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Comet Gain

  116. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:04

    Still going through C.

    What, no Chi Coltrane? Or Cars?

  117. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:04

    Yes.

  118. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:07

    Yes it was super rude of the communists to point out the natives of colonized countries were getting the shaft. They could even be pardoned for pointing that out to the world at large, but when they made their case to the people being colonized, that was beyond the pale. – Helmut Monotreme.

    Beyond the pale? I see what you did there.

    Seriously, though, part of the problem was good ol’ Ike’s foreign policy team. He may have warned us about the military-industrial complex upon leaving office and he did certainly hold off the big pressure to give lots of money to military contractors really build up our resolve to fight off communism (which JFK and LBJ only too gladly put on the front burner), but his foreign policy team really did know how to be underhanded in their support of multi-national resource extractors/agribusiness all while being so high-minded about not hondling with third world tinpots looking for some high quality foreign aid, that they drove all sorts of people into the loving arms of the communists.

    I’m sure we (i.e. those who associate anti-colonialism with communism) would view anti-colonialism quite a bit differently (and even view which side of certain disputes was the “anti-colonialist side” differently) if Ike’s team weren’t so underhanded in supporting global treating third world resources and land like Bain capital treats the businesses it buys capitalism or at the very least weren’t so clumsy in dropping the ball when third world leaders asked us for “aid”, which allowed the Soviets an in, so to speak. But as it was, the aptly named Dulles brothers handed the Soviets the anti-colonialist banner which they ran with (even as they practiced their own colonialism/imperialism).

  119. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:14

    BTW, OT, on NPR today they were interviewing some banker who claimed that Dodd-Frank will hurt his business and that’s why we need to elect Romney to improve the economy. When asked for a single regulation that actually hurt him, he couldn’t name one. All he could come up with is “that there are so many regulations — the printed version of the bill would be taller than the empire state building — we don’t know how they will even effect us”. After all, nobody can reasonably expect bankers, who need to figure out which loans are good and which are not without knowing with certainty everything about the future of their borrower, to be able to deal with uncertainty. And nobody can reasonably expect the people who give us mortgage forms to fill out to be able to read reams of paper.

    Seriously, if this is the problem with regulations, then what we need is not to have fewer regulations or more GOoPers in office but simply to send our Congresscritters who write the bills back to college to retake Writing 101 so they can learn things like “Keep It Simple, Stupid” and “miniskirt length” (long enough to cover the subject, short enough to be interesting). Heck, send ‘em back to middle school, which is where I learned about KISS and miniskirt length …

  120. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:17

    All he could come up with is “that there are so many regulations — the printed version of the bill would be taller than the empire state building —

    it also makes you want to say, ‘then quit doing shitty things!’

  121. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:26

    Obviously we need to make the empire state building taller!

  122. 'natch said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:29

    The reason the bill is so bloated is because all teh bankers demanded exemptions, carve outs, etc until the end product was this gigantic mess that doesn’t really regulate anything and they’re STILL bitching about it.

  123. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:33

    Statutes often are often very badly written, with so many clear errors, internal contradictions, and poorly defined terms that you wonder how these people have the competence to brush their own teeth.

    It is also an impossible task to anticipate all of the shitty things that a company might try to do and prohibit those things. I like Judge Posner’s idea of an FDA for financial instruments. New ideas are analyzed for potential harm, then approved or denied before being let loose in the market.

    Trouble is, it would take about three-and-a-half minutes for such an agency to succumb to regulatory capture, so we may as well just stock up on canned goods and duct tape and wait for the next meltdown.

  124. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:35

    The reason the bill is so bloated is because all teh bankers demanded exemptions, carve outs, etc until the end product was this gigantic mess that doesn’t really regulate anything and they’re STILL bitching about it. – natch

    IOW, this is yet another example of a GOoPer taking the old bullying tactic of forcing you to hit yourself and then saying “why are you hitting yourself?”. Alas, too many Democrats seem to be all too eager to hit themselves.

    It also reminds me of the Sideshow Bob Roberts. I think that episode encapsulates the entire strategy of the GOP. Which makes it odd that the Democrats can never seem to anticipate what the GOP does … of course, the Simpsons also predicted (in another Sideshow Bob episode) flying a plane into a building (in order to kill Krusty) and yet … well … nobody could have predicted …

  125. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:39

    Also, the bill is 2300 pages. Yeah that’s a lot to read but it’s a good 1248 feet shorter than the empire state building. Unless you stack your paper end to end which is a pretty good trick.

  126. Pupienus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:41

    Last week or so they interviewed some guy and his wife. He also complained about “all the gubblemint regulations.” When asked whether he had been affected he admitted that he had not. He was voting for Rmoney anyway because “I have the feeling they [Obama] are gonna make more.”

    Yep, notice how he took all your guns?

  127. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:41

    Shit really does work – when I had a dry socket they packed wadding soaked in clove oil into it.

    Stuffing the dry socket.

    Doesn’t sound all that appealing, actually.

  128. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:42

    IOW, this is yet another example of a GOoPer taking the old bullying tactic of forcing you to hit yourself and then saying “why are you hitting yourself?”. Alas, too many Democrats seem to be all too eager to hit themselves.

    yep…and when anyone calls them on it (yes, i know) then it’s ‘you’re the real racist!’

  129. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:43

    Doesn’t sound all that appealing, actually.

    That’s why you use the oil, silly.

  130. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:45

    Stuffing the dry socket.

    Well, sometimes when laydeez get older they get menopause and… Oh. Your tooth you say? Never mind.

  131. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:45

    Last week or so they interviewed some guy and his wife. He also complained about “all the gubblemint regulations.” When asked whether he had been affected he admitted that he had not. He was voting for Rmoney anyway because “I have the feeling they [Obama] are gonna make more.”

    this is something i’m just dying to do…the next time somebody bitches about how hideous life has been under obummer’s regime, imma call them on it…i do not know ANYbody who has been appreciably affected directly by obama…last weekend, one dude was bitching about how his overtime is taxed beyond comprehension and said, ‘thanks obama!’…i should have called him on it, but alcohol was involved…

  132. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:45

    Still, it is kind of gross: Either this sort of thing is necessary or it is unnecessary, and neither possibility says anything good about the state of our republic.

    Wait, what?

  133. Pupienus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:45

    I heard parts of that fat fuck Christie’s speech. Dog whistles. Dog whistles EVERYWHERE!

  134. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:46

    Well, sometimes when laydeez get older they get menopause and…become non-stop abortion machines?

  135. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:47

    I heard parts of that fat fuck Christie’s speech. Dog whistles. Dog whistles EVERYWHERE!

    i liked how his voice got all high and wavery when he was really getting into it…

  136. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:47

    Fucking is a time-honored and respectable occupation. Don’t taint* it with Christie.

    *heh

  137. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:48

    That’s why you use the oil, silly.

    Caint go usin’ no furrin “clove” erl for that! What’s wrong with good ol’ homegrown ‘merkin thirty weight, bucko? Why do you hate America!?!

  138. DAS said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:49

    In re Chris Christie’s speech, as I commented at the baby blue devil’s blog:

    Ya just gotta hand it to the fellow: behind a sea-sickness inducing constantly shifting background, he first described how his father benefitted from big government/liberal programs and then described what a tough live his mother had growing up (which life would have been much better if there were a better safety-net around) and how his grandmother had a heckuva commute to work (from a governor who killed a project to make commutes easier). And then he proceeds to say we need the GOP in power to reduce government spending? And he then claims the Democrats are the ones who are pitting the current generation of seniors against future generations of seniors by playing political games with social security (after basically telling seniors that they should do the right thing and subsist on cat-food). And then he brags about fiscal responsibility and good governance — this from a man who claimed NJ was out of money when it came to punishing his political foes (such as us educators) then suddenly found money to “save” K-12 education and then decided to give-away money that wasn’t even there with tax cuts to the rich. And he also disses teachers’ unions — he being the governor of a state with horrid curriculum standards that are only improving due to the dogged work of teachers’ unions pushing through a national curriculum.

    Yep. Chris Christie is indeed the new face of the GOP. Alas, low information voters will believe everything he says and lap it all up …

  139. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:52

    Yep. Chris Christie is indeed the new giant, bloated belly, and fat fucking hideous face of the GOP.

    Needed minor adjustments.

  140. pedestrian said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:52

    I’ve had this conversation over taxes more than once. Here’s how it typically goes:

    “Obama’s taxes are crushing me”
    “Actually, Obama cut taxes.”
    “You don’t know my finances! My taxes went way up under Obama”
    “Well, then you’re either earning more money or earning it more honestly.”

    Or at least, that’s how I piece it together retroactively. In the moment I usually just sputter and try not to choke the idiot.

  141. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:55

    From the Ron Paul thing mentioned up thread:

    Minutes earlier, the Paulites were enraged when the convention adopted the new set of rules on a voice vote during which the Paul backers out-shouted the other delegates. One Nevada delegate and Paul supporter, Mark Carducci, thrust two middle fingers into the air toward RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), screaming “Fuck you, tyrants!”

    If he wasn’t obviously completely fucking insane I might almost like this Mark Carducci person.

  142. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 20:57

    “Well, then you’re either earning more money or earning it more honestly.”

    Or it could be, if you live in a state with state taxes, that your (possibly Republican) governor raised your taxes. Wingnuts are prone to conflating the two if it allows them a way to blame the ni.. Democrat.

  143. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:14

    Statutes often are often very badly written, with so many clear errors, internal contradictions, and poorly defined terms that you wonder how these people have the competence to brush their own teeth.

    In the biz they call those poison pills.

  144. bughunter, stealing someone else's schtick, said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:18

    PENIS

  145. Thread Bear said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:23

    How Washington works:

    Big business does something that is so bad that there is a huge public outcry. After a few years of this Congress takes notice and decides SOMETHING MUST BE DONE. Eventually they decide that there should be regulations. With the help of big business lobbyists they create regulations that have little effect on the original problem but give the appearance that SOMETHING WAS DONE. As an added bonus for big business, these regulations are often much tougher on small business than on big business and so help stifle the competition. Then ten years down the road the big business folks can fuss that the regulations are nearly useless and hurt small business and we must get rid of them.

  146. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:42

    Except that most of the legislation aimed at big business and their scams ends up targeting and hurting smaller businesses. I know my small business is paying WAY WAY WAY more in taxes (as a percentage of revenues) than any publicly held company. Government policy that regulates business works exactly the same way that tax policy works. Shifts all the burden to the middle and lower classes and lets the rich assholes do whatever they feel like.

  147. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:47

    tsam, what does your business do?

  148. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:49

    Nice that I can go ahead and just repeat what you said, TB…sorry dude.

  149. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:50

    tsam, what does your business do?

    We are a contract distributor for commercial construction projects, specifically doors, hardware and access control. (In English: I sell doorknobs).

    At least for the moment. I’m hoping to diversify into hookers and blow soon.

  150. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:51

    I deal with architects pretty often, but so far have managed to avoid any zombies.

  151. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:54

    More self-inflicted wounds.

  152. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:57

    Cracker Bay. Awesome.

  153. echo said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:58

    I’ve been lurking.

  154. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:58

    (In English: I sell doorknobs).

    Could be worse: you could be one, like so many people p-shopped on this site.

  155. paperbagmarlys said,

    August 29, 2012 at 21:59

    I read that. I is dumber now. Also, I is confused. Am I supposed to hate Neil Armstrong? Also, what is happening to our moon colonies? Is Obama having a mandate on the moon? So strange…

    …Finally, nasa. No explanation other than anticolonialism makes sense of Obama’s curious mandate to convert a space agency into a Muslim and international outreach. We can see how well our theory works by recalling the moon landing of Apollo 11 in 1969. “One small step for man,” Neil Armstrong said. “One giant leap for mankind.”

    But that’s not how the rest of the world saw it. I was 8 years old at the time and living in my native India. I remember my grandfather telling me about the great race between America and Russia to put a man on the moon. Clearly America had won, and this was one giant leap not for mankind but for the U.S. If Obama shares this view, it’s no wonder he wants to blunt nasa’s space program, to divert it from a symbol of American greatness into a more modest public relations program….

  156. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:00

    I’ve been lurking on the railroad
    All the live long day.
    I’ve been lurking on the railroad
    Just to pass the time away.
    Can’t you hear the police yelling
    “Hey you, stop doing that.”
    I’ve been lurking on the railroad
    Dropping trou at the drop of a hat.

  157. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:04

    Could be worse: you could be one, like so many people p-shopped on this site.

    I’ve been accused of that.

  158. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:04

    ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠

  159. Whale Chowder, who is a helper said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:05

    Helpfully clarifying: a DILDO is not a PENIS.

    Not really.

  160. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:06

    DON’T SPOIL THE MOOD.

  161. bughunter said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:06

    An academic tries to answer the question, “Why Aren’t Conservatives Funny,” by examining how Dennis Miller lost his mojo when he decided to become a conservative. It concludes with the typical circumtopical gymnastics of an academic:

    the explanation lies in the complicated interplay of political philosophy and cultural climate. But what killed Dennis Miller’s career wasn’t that he became a conservative. It’s that he stopped being funny.

    How about looking at the kinds of jokes Dennis Miller tells vs. John Stewart’s.

    Almost all conservative humor that I’ve seen on radio and TV — and especially the unfunny stuff (which is almost all of it) — consists of the same two schticks over and over again, either a) allusions to (or outright repetition of) bigoted stereotypes of [hippies|liberals|blacks|latinos|gays|muslims|scary others], or b) echoing right wing fallacies and intellectual dishonesty. And to many conservatives, these *are* funny –at least they seem to elicit reflexive laughter– because the audience knows they’re supposed to laugh. And whether the audience thinks it’s funny or not, these conservative “humorists” make them feel better because these kinds of jokes reinforce the conservative listeners’ sense of superiority and ‘rightness,’ strengthen their social bonds to a group defined by a rigorously uniform set of collective opinions, and helps lessen the stress of the cognitive dissonance that permeates their lives.

    Non-right-wing humorists — those widely acknowledged as funny, including everyone from Tim Allen to Jay Leno to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert — create their jokes by pointing out the inherent absurdity in everyday situations and public events. Stewart, especially, has a talent for this and that’s why his show is so successful. It’s not about whether the example of absurd behavior or speech comes from a liberal or conservative public figure, it’s about the absurdity itself. You don’t see ad hominem or stereotypes used as the basis for a joke on The Daily Show. You see Stewart or one of his correspondents pointing out or acting out an example of absurdity, usually in allusion to current events.

    And absurdity makes most people laugh, regardless of political orientation. That kind of humor makes them feel better because it makes their own lives feel less absurd and more normal. If you look at any attempt to define humor, a reference to the absurd is right at the top of the page. Absurdity is funny. Even Miller’s pre-9/11 funny material wasn’t allusions to Dubya’s intelligence – it was his ability to point out irony and absurdity, and his ultra-snarky delivery.

    Dennis Miller stopped being funny because he stopped telling jokes that most people find funny… because they are not jokes, just more right wing echo chamber reverb dressed up in grease paint and floppy shoes.

  162. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:07

    Apparently the truth DOES set you free

    Just maybe not in the way you were thinking…

  163. Smut Clyde said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:08

    I’m sure D’Souza’s family was, way back when, not so high up on the socio-economic ladder but benefitted greatly from colonialism. Which may affect his views to today.

    They were Portuguese-Indian Christians from the colonial elite. They seem to have fled from thence to Mumbai when Goa was belatedly decolonised in the year of D’Souza’s birth.

  164. tigris said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:12

    “that there are so many regulations — the printed version of the bill would be taller than the empire state building — we don’t know how they will even effect us”

    Maybe he’s afraid it’ll fall on him?

  165. N__B said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:15

    I have it on good authority that feathers hit the ground before the weights can leave the air.

  166. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:24

    To me, 99% of conservative “humor” seems to revolve around one basic joke: If you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?

  167. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:24

    I used to sort of like Dennis Miller when he had his own show. It was a strange sort of esoteric, long winded and heavy on goofy references. I dig that sort of thing for some reason (intellectual snobbiness, maybe? I don’t know)

    But he doesn’t even try anymore, and he is visibly pained at the idea that he’s trying to make jokes out of reichwing dogma. There’s nothing funny about any of that shit because the sole purpose of that shit is to scare the fucking daylights out the boogereating segment of the population. That doesn’t translate well to comedy. There’s an underlying rage to his bullshit that he can’t pull off. Lewis Black can do it, George Carlin did it, and those are the only two truly funny people I can think of that have a sort of mean streak to their humor. Dennis Leary sounds exactly the same as Miller. This shit isn’t funny, this is an angry malcontent trying to make jokes out of yelling at kids to get off their lawn and pull up their damn pants. Even Black and Carlin can be tiresome with that shit sometimes. Miller would be doing himself a big favor by leaving that shit to the professionals and just getting his own hateshow on Fox or something.

  168. bughunter said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:28

    a DILDO is not a PENIS
    Oh. Right then. Very well.

    DILDO

  169. wiley said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:36

    The video of the Republican delegates screaming at the woman from Puerto Rico is frightening. Hateful rat bastards.

  170. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:36

    DIDO

  171. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:37

    Dido is cute as hell.. TSAM LIKE.

  172. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:42

    Miller would be doing himself a big favor by

    doing standup in Oakland, or Detroit or Flint MI until he remembers how to be funny?

  173. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 22:50

    Which is to say, that unless he stops comforting the comfortable and afflicting the afflicted, Dennis Miller is going to wake up one day with less integrity than Bill Buckley and less laughs than… I dunno, Bill Buckley again? A good comedian can get a laugh out of almost any crowd, whereas the last time Dennis Miller got a laugh was the last time he slipped on dog poop in front of an elementary school playground.

  174. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:01

    doing standup in Oakland, or Detroit or Flint MI until he remembers how to be funny?

    He’s too old. All of us that sort of liked him way back when he wasn’t batshit stupid and crazy aren’t going to be won back. His only hope would be to grab a new generation coming up, and there’s no way that’s going down. He’s not what the kids might call a “hep cat” anymore. Mostly because he would unironically use the term “hep cat”.

    I vowed to hate Dennis Miller forever when I saw him on Bildo’s show debunking global warming by telling everyone how he remembers that it was so much hotter when he was a kid than it is now. Though it was really good insight into the mental state of your average reichwinger, I know that fuckhead is at least a little bit smarter than that.

  175. Whale Chowder, who is a helper said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:02

    DIO

  176. Whale Chowder said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:06

    I’ve stopped being a helper. Please set your expectations accordingly.

  177. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:07

    (In English: I sell doorknobs).

    for tsam, my favorite store of all time…

  178. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:11

    For bbkf; Know what happens when you enter that search with your “safe search” off? Try it. It’s a mix between awesome and nauseating.

  179. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:12

    Also, that’s an old old (dare I say shopworn) joke in the industry. The nerdier and lonelier among us like to say we sell knobs, knockers and butts.

    Butts refers to full-mortise hinges, which stupid people still refer to as butts for some inexplicable reason.

  180. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:14

    DIO rocks. Don’t never let nobody tell you otherwise.

  181. Trilateral Commissioner said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:15

    I have it on good authority that feathers hit the ground before the weights can leave the air.

    You win an Internet, sir. Well played.

  182. Smut Clyde said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:16

    Know what happens when you enter that search with your “safe search” off? Try it. It’s a mix between awesome and nauseating.

    I see nothing, but then Google searches are adaptive to whatever you might have gone hunting for in the past.

  183. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:17

    Looks like Barack Hussein Obama broke reddit.

  184. Smut Clyde said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:18

    DIDO.

  185. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:18

    I also sort of liked Dennis Miller back when he was sort of funny. That’s why it’s no fun to see him as washed up as he is. It’s painful to see someone sell their soul for so very little.

  186. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:19

    I see nothing, but then Google searches are adaptive to whatever you might have gone hunting for in the past.

    Oh. Well…. I think I hear my mom calling me. GOTTA GO!

  187. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:25

    My favorite conservative comedy routine.

  188. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:29

    Also, that’s an old old (dare I say shopworn) joke in the industry. The nerdier and lonelier among us like to say we sell knobs, knockers and butts.

    still, it was an awesome shop to come upon…and you know i had to get my picture taken in front of it…also, in oxford, i had my picture taken next to a wall of names pointing to ‘harry butts’…and say, if you could sell my butt, i will split the proceeds with you…

  189. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:31

    I don’t really want any butt proceeds.

    So post the pic–or was that after the accident that left you with that grotesque pixelation?

  190. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:31

    I also sort of liked Dennis Miller back when he was sort of funny. That’s why it’s no fun to see him as washed up as he is. It’s painful to see someone sell their soul for so very little.

    i think a hilarious show would be dennis miller and victoria jackson seriously talking politics…they could interview some of the big hollywood wingnuts once in a while just to keep it fresh…

  191. bbkf said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:33

    I don’t really want any butt proceeds.

    don’t be so sure…i’ve been working out and building some nice muscle mass, so if we go per pound, could add up to quite a haul…

    also, i pretty much hate every pic of myself, hence the pixelation…some day i might get over it and show my face to the world…

  192. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:40

    also, i pretty much hate every pic of myself, hence the pixelation…some day i might get over it and show my face to the world…

    Meh–I hate mine too. Get over it.

    I meant things that proceed forth from butts. DO NOT WANT.

  193. John Revolta said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:46

    i think a hilarious show would be dennis miller and victoria jackson seriously talking politics

    Oooo! Then we could cut to a Mallard Fillmore cartoon!! The lulzz!!

  194. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:47

    We can’t forget about the obligatory lipsticks and pit bulls jokes–L to the O to the L! That Sarah–she’s a regular card!

  195. tsam said,

    August 29, 2012 at 23:55

    Oh, science, how I love thee

  196. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:06

    Hmm, he’s done fine press-release science reporting for the fine folks at Alkermes Pharmaceuticals before.

  197. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:16

    DILDO

    DIDO

    DIO

    DI

  198. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:18

    Hmm, he’s done fine press-release science reporting for the fine folks at Alkermes Pharmaceuticals before.

    i like how his name is ablow…

  199. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:26

    Hmm, he’s done fine press-release science reporting for the fine folks at Alkermes Pharmaceuticals before.

    I know–my bullshit alarm went off when I noticed that he named the company and gave a glowing review of another of their products…but I like the idea of this non-addictive opiate type of drug. DO WANT, DESPITE BEING PRETTY SURE THE IDEA IS PURE FANTASY.

  200. Smut Clyde said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:27

    Hmm, he’s done fine press-release science reporting for Fox
    I do like the way the photograph illustrating the story about injectable endorphin analogs turns out on close inspection to be labeled “New flu shot”.

    Ablow has featured here in the past for warning the nation that vulnerable children might suffer permanent psychic harm from glimpsing or hearing of the existence of transgender individuals.

  201. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:32

    I like the idea of this non-addictive opiate type of drug.

    ALKS 33 interferes with the binding of buprenorphine to the receptors that are involved in making people feel euphoric.

    No thanks. I’ll keep the euphoria and deal with the rest using my superhuman willpow…

    Ooh! Kittys!

  202. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:35

    KITTEHSSSSS THEY’RE SO FLUFFY!

  203. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:36

    Ablow has featured here in the past for warning the nation that vulnerable children might suffer permanent psychic harm from glimpsing or hearing of the existence of transgender individuals.

    Supposing dickweed has a pill for that…

  204. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:39

    Ablow has featured here in the past for warning the nation that vulnerable children might suffer permanent psychic harm from glimpsing or hearing of the existence of transgender individuals.

    Tahhh, the Chaz Bono thing. Thought his name was familiar.

  205. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:49

    ALKS 5461 is actually a combination of two molecules. The first is buprenorphine, which is already used to provide some of the benefits of opiates, without many of the worst side effects, allowing people to get off of street drugs (as an alternative to methadone). The second molecule is now known as ALKS 33—and that’s the magic part.

    ALKS 33 interferes with the binding of buprenorphine to the receptors that are involved in making people feel euphoric. Those are the receptors also involved in getting people to crave opiates like alcoholics crave alcohol.

    Soo, if you can get rid of that second molecule you have something that is FUN.

  206. Smut Clyde said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:52

    Ablow was also the one explaining how Gingrich’s history of marital infidelity would make him a better president
    and that we should all be VERY VERY WORRIED about ‘The Hunger Games’, which was going to turn an entire generation of teenage girls over to the Dark Side of violence.

    When he’s not warning people of new social threats to be VERY VERY WORRIED about, he’s pimping anti-anxiety drugs.

  207. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:53

    The second molecule is now known as ALKS 33—and that’s the magic part.

    All the best science articles involve magic.

  208. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:55

    Here’s a must-read first-hand blow-by-blow account of the first night of the GOP convention.

  209. Smut Clyde said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:55

    The psychological data support the “Really fucked-up people gravitate to psychiatry” theory. See also Dr Lecter.

  210. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 0:57

    More “science” from Dr. A-Blow:

    Just in my own practice of psychiatry, I have listened to dozens of men express lingering, sometimes intense, pain over abortions that proceeded either without their consent, or without them having spoken up about their desires to bring their children to term and parent them.

    Shorter Keith Ablow: Think of the chiiildren fathers!

  211. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:01

    Just in my own practice of psychiatry, I have listened to dozens of men express lingering, sometimes intense, pain over abortions that proceeded either without their consent, or without them having spoken up about their desires to bring their children to term and parent them.

    No you haven’t.

  212. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:02

    I JUST WANT THE DRUGS, MAN.

  213. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:06

    I have experienced intense pain over several abortions that were not performed in the 1940s and 50s.

  214. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:08

    I have experienced intense pain over several abortions that were not performed in the 1940s and 50s.

    HA! Best comment!

  215. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:16

    Found in a link in comment at LGM — a short article about Rmoney’s brilliant “business acumen” in his time at Bain et. al. — in Rolling Stone.

    That dude is one slimy piece of shit.

  216. Lancelot Link said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:17

    I also sort of liked Dennis Miller back when he was sort of funny
    That’s when he had Barry Crimmins writing his material for him.

  217. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:18

    HA! Best comment!

    As if. The best comment is always: “FIRST!”

    If you doubt me, just ask Bozo the Cocksucker.

  218. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:20

    and say, if you could sell my butt, i will split the proceeds with you…

    Wait–are you hiring me to be your pimp? Cuz my pimp hand is pretty fuckin strong, sistah.

  219. tigris said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:20

    Ablow has featured here in the past for warning the nation that vulnerable children might suffer permanent psychic harm from glimpsing or hearing of the existence of transgender individuals.

    Vulnerable children might suffer psychic harm from lots of stuff, but eventually they will have to grow up and face reality. Maybe Ablow should try it?

  220. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:20

    If you doubt me, just ask Bozo the Cocksucker.

    That dude was really mad. Like almost irate. I think he needs to switch to decaf.

  221. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:22

    Vulnerable children might suffer psychic harm from lots of stuff, but eventually they will have to grow up and face reality. Maybe Ablow should try it?

    in Ablow’s defense, it’s really hard to overcome being a useless toolshed.

  222. Whale Chowder said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:23

    The rest of us are likely to suffer permanent psychic harm from paying attention to his bullshit.

  223. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:24

    The rest of us are likely to suffer permanent psychic harm from paying attention to his bullshit.

    He lured me in with drugs. NOT FAIR.

  224. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:30

    He lured me in with drugs. NOT FAIR.

    C’mon, you know you want to try it! First hit’s free…

  225. Whale Chowder said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:31

    He lured me in with drugs. NOT FAIR.

    You should NEVAR get into the windowless van. EVAR.

  226. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:35

    Another Republican shithead steps in it with a rape comment.

    This guy evidently felt so humiliated that a “family member” got knocked up that he figures it wouldn’t have been any worse, for him anyway, if she’d been raped.

    Either he knows nothing about rape or he’s one cold-hearted bastard.

  227. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:43

    Either he knows nothing about rape or he’s one cold-hearted bastard.

    Shirley I don’t need to remind you that those things are not mutually exclusive.

  228. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 30, 2012 at 1:45

    Shirley I don’t need to remind you that those things are not mutually exclusive.

    Yeah, of course. One second after I hit “Enter” I realized I was setting up a false dichotomy.

  229. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:01

    Odd thing that, about the rape guy – he’s trailing badly to the dem, a forced birth movement Catholic.

  230. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:02

    But then, having met Bob Casey, I realize he’s rather odd himself.

  231. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:13

    To continue our earlier subthread: http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2012/08/businessman-republican-convention-you-didnt-build-that-loan

  232. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:27

    Those plucky entrepreneurs and their government supplied bootstraps sure manage to do well. If only everybody else had such opportunities to be so self sufficient.

  233. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:28

    Attendee threw peanuts at black CNN camerawoman, saying “This is how we feed animals.”
    ….And the convention becomes the 1934 Nuremburg Rally. The security wears brown, the audience is white, focusing national hatreds are the real agenda.
    Where is the Bear Jew when we need him the most?

    He’s too busy making $200/hour to plow submissive, closeted GOP “bottoms” in a seedy Tampa motel.

  234. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:34

    dickweed has a pill for that

    dickweed, eh? i believe there is a pill for that…

  235. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:38

    crap…this thread is getting interesting but I have stuff I have to get done tonight…

  236. Smut Clyde said,

    August 30, 2012 at 2:44

    This guy evidently felt so humiliated that a “family member” got knocked up that he figures it wouldn’t have been any worse, for him anyway, if she’d been raped.

    This is why adult children should be legally entitled to divorce their parents.

  237. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:03

    Poor Dinesh can’t understand why all you libtards won’t give his homemade Oreo Masala a chance!

    It’s … uh … VERY EXOTIC.

    Ruh-roh:

    If the DNC had been the ones who fucked up something this important this badly, the 2012 race would be over. Every network would be sifting the rubble & reading the entrails for weeks on end, if not every single day until election day, solemnly pondering exactly where Obama & Axelrod went wrong.

    Leftier-than-thou MSNBC has a spot on its dance-card right now for the epic political wisdom of professional election-loser Christine “I’m You … If You Went Without Masturbation For More Than A Decade” O’Donnell … but not so much as a bloody peep about this massive FUBAR.

    I’m hoping Doktor Maddow will touch on it at some point since she seems to have a soft spot for Paultards, but something sure as hell stinks on ice in the state of Denmark.

    Fuckin’ liberal media.

  238. Smut Clyde said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:16

    something sure as hell stinks on ice in the state of Denmark.

    You mean locker 3612 in the Copenhagen Central station? Nothing to see there.

  239. tigris said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:28

    dickweed has a pill for that

    dickweed, eh? i believe there is a pill for that…

    I recommend a good hoe.

  240. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:29

    Leftier-than-thou MSNBC has a spot on its dance-card right now for the epic political wisdom of professional election-loser Christine “I’m You … If You Went Without Masturbation For More Than A Decade” O’Donnell … but not so much as a bloody peep about this massive FUBAR.

    Maybe we give them the benefit of the doubt…I think 30 seconds of air time with Ms. TotallyNotAWitchNowDonateToMyCampaignCuzRent’sTooDamnHigh is every bit as damaging as watching a bunch of Paultards huff out the party they weren’t invited to in the first place. Maybe?

  241. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:30

    I recommend a good hoe.

    She is trying to sell ass…

  242. Major Kong said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:33

    I recommend a good hoe.

    Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

  243. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:44

    From jim’s link:

    After a set of last minute rule changes designed to concentrate power into even fewer hands, the Romney folks added more insult, and injury.

    The first part is standard sociopath behavior, and the second part is standard wingnut behavior. I wouldn’t have expected anything else from the RNC. I doubt something like this would happen in the current DNC, although the influence of the corporate sociopaths is quite strong in the Democratic Party, too… so I’m not going to place any wagers.

  244. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 30, 2012 at 3:54

    I recommend a good hoe.

    I’d suggest trying a bro first.

  245. Lancelot Link said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:04

    …something sure as hell stinks on ice in the state of Denmark.

    As someone once said, “He who keeps lutefisk by the fire in November will find glaciers in his outhouse by March”

  246. Pupienus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:14

    I’d suggest trying a bro first.

    brohos for me please.

  247. Pupienus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:14

    Hobros?

  248. Pupienus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:15

    Ho. Mo. Bro. Yo.

  249. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:19

    The fact is

  250. El Cid said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:30

    The fact that any of us can get that reference marks us as strange but precious individuals.

  251. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:32

    The fact is the fact
    Regardless of the topic
    Gary Ruppert said

  252. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:41

    The fact is, liberal bias in the media is throwing the election to Obama. We need more voter regulations to make sure The Vote is True.
    And for you liberals crying about disenchatfranchisment, why should we make voting EASY? For the slow witted and lazy among us, who are usually governemtn leachers? Call them minorites or call us racists, is it too much to have some standardsa bout who gets to vote?

  253. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:47

    A hobro playing a dobro on the go. Dontchano, ya sokanky ho. Yo.

  254. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:47

    The fact is, the America Obama wants is worse than what Hitler did to Germany. You need to see the factually based 2016 documentary, this is what a Kenyan Usurper will do when given free rain

  255. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:48

    The sokanky ho typo actually almost works.

    Yo.

  256. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 4:55

    free verse scat is what e e cummings pet left all over the house

  257. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,

    August 30, 2012 at 5:03

    The fact is, “jim’s link” was actually Pryme’s link waaaaaay up thereabouts somewhere. I guess the blue linky-text hid the italics?

    Say … what the hell do you call this, anyway?
    Auto-AHEM? Threadfart? Cyber-hiccup?

    Also, since JP seems to have left out any cybercat portraiture of late … your Daily DEFCON-1 SQUEE ALERT goes here!
    Adorable little Dickens, isn’t he?

  258. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 30, 2012 at 6:06

    this is what a Kenyan Usurper will do when given free rain

    That or grow crops.

  259. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 6:11

    If only the free market could figure out a way to charge for rain, all our problems would be solved!

  260. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 6:14

    She is trying to sell ass…

    I meant literally! i know there are persons out there who who are ass-deficient…and really, i would make the world’s worst hooker…

  261. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 6:16

    If only the free market could figure out a way to charge for rain, all our problems would be solved!

    well it did figure out how to sell oxygen, so rain seems to be in the realm of possibility…

  262. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 7:06

    Auto-AHEM? Threadfart? Cyber-hiccup?

    Onahemism.

  263. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 7:09

    i know there are persons out there who who are ass-deficient

    [raises hand] I have no ass. Literally. It’s as flat as a tortilla.

    Fortunaltely, I make up for it elsewhere.

  264. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 7:12

    Fortunaltely, I make up for it elsewhere.

    Like, in… my superhuman spelling and proofreading abilities.

  265. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 7:25

    Hmm… have we not ridiculed this yet?

    1) Repeal the Sixteenth Amendment!

    2) Police the universities for liberal bias

    3) Defend the Electoral College at all costs.

    4) End our dependence on foreign… fertilizer?

    5) Affirmative action for Republican officials inside the District of Columbia.

    6) Selective statehood.

    7) Step up the war against pornography.

    8) Innovation is all about freedom.

    9) Reconsider the gold standard.

    10) No minimum wage for the Mariana Islands.

    The most telling is the last one. You recall the DeLay visit to the Marianas and his opinion thereof.

    If this doesn’t scream regressive plutocracy party, I don’t know what does…

  266. bughunter said,

    August 30, 2012 at 7:37

    OK, then for those of you who occupy the Venn Diagram intersection of Oakland Raiders Fans + Sons of Anarchy fans, there’s this.

    My wife resides in this intersection… and I bought her one. Being a master seamstress also, she has converted it from a pullover hoodie into a zipper front.

    I am in awe.

  267. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 7:55

    Let’s see if this works.

  268. tensor said,

    August 30, 2012 at 8:19

    We stuck Capone in prison for evading taxes being both successful and swarthy.

    “Boardwalk Empire” is based upon real history, and the actual Nucky was idolized in Prohibition America for his (obviously) ill-gotten gains. The Feds were eventually able to take him down, but he died a free man, still respected in Atlantic City. Evading taxes will always have some cachet in a country which was founded on a tax revolt, after all.

  269. Thread Bear said,

    August 30, 2012 at 13:37

    and really, i would make the world’s worst hooker…

    But it’s a sick world so there’s probably a multi-million dollar market for “The World’s Worst Hooker”. Trademark it, libtards.

  270. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:06

    I am in awe.

    as am i…zippers be waaaaaaay beyond my sewing skills…

  271. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:09

    Let’s see if this works.

    you know, I don’t want to know how you came up with that…

  272. kg said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:12

    SMG, looks like the tongue to shitbox index is quite favorable for the Koch’s this convention.

  273. Eustace P. McGargle said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:12

    Tintin says: “Dinesh D’Souza, arguably the ugliest person alive … ”

    OK, I’ll argue: John H. Sununu is the ugliest person alive certainly among those by whose visages we assaulted by the media.

  274. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:17

    But it’s a sick world so there’s probably a multi-million dollar market for “The World’s Worst Hooker”. Trademark it, libtards.

    yes, but only if being cranky and annoyed while performing sex acts with grody men could be a market…

  275. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:19

    Isn’t there a trophy in rugby for the world’s worst hooker?

  276. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:25

    i have just had a aha/duh moment re:

    2) Police the universities for liberal bias

    aha because what goopers really mean by smaller government is smaller federal government but insanely bloated state government…and duh, because i am just figuring this out now…

  277. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 15:27

    Isn’t there a trophy in rugby for the world’s worst hooker?

    FINALLY…my athletic prowess can be recognized!

  278. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:01

    FINALLY…my athletic prowess can be recognized!

    Linguistically, does that mean men have athletic prows?

  279. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:32

    and really, i would make the world’s worst hooker…

    But it’s a sick world so there’s probably a multi-million dollar market for “The World’s Worst Hooker”. Trademark it, libtards.

    I SMELL A REALITY SHOW!

  280. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:36

    You’re sure that’s not just rotting meat?

  281. Whale Chowder said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:37

    Maybe someone left a Durian out.

  282. 'natch said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:44

    I took a linguists class in school and the teacher, being a Brit, chose a textbook from the UK. For some reason I always think of an example they used (of what I have no recollection) : “Someone mislaid the Stilton.”

  283. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:45

    “Passive voice among the twits” is my guess.

  284. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:45

    Or should that be “amongst”?

  285. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:46

    Actually, that’s not passive voice. Nevermind.

  286. DAS said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:53

    N___B, it is what the twits use in lieu of the passive voice which they know to be bad style.

  287. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:54

    You’re sure that’s not just rotting meat?

    It’s just hookers.

  288. DAS said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:54

    I sense redundancy here:

    submissive, closeted GOP “bottoms”

    and here:

    seedy Tampa motel

    .

  289. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 30, 2012 at 16:56

    Tintin says: “Dinesh D’Souza, arguably the ugliest person alive … ”

    OK, I’ll argue: John H. Sununu is the ugliest person alive certainly among those by whose visages we assaulted by the media.

    Bah. Chris Christie leaves them both in the dust in that department.

  290. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 17:00

    Kent Tekulve is the ugliest man who has ever lived.

  291. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 17:04

    Linguistically, does that mean men have athletic prows?

    Some have pretty athletic sterns also.

  292. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 17:07

    I can still be amazed by 4chan on occasion. http://i.imgur.com/vauLz.png

  293. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 17:37

    “Someone mislaid the Stilton.”

    dang! if i had a nickel for every time that’s happened…

  294. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 17:38

    I SMELL A REALITY SHOW!

    show titles are running through my haid now…it could play right after another show i’ve come up with ‘score me a whore!’

  295. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 30, 2012 at 17:56

    My reality/game show concept: “What’s your problem?”. It would be an intervention, done as a game show with a panel of Psychologists, parole officers, ex lovers and anyone else who may have a grudge. The ‘contestant’ could win things like not being hit quite as hard with a baseball bat, for doing things like repaying debts, recognizing and reducing character flaws, etc.

  296. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:09

    <i.My reality/game show concept: “What’s your problem?”. It would be an intervention, done as a game show with a panel of Psychologists, parole officers, ex lovers and anyone else who may have a grudge. The ‘contestant’ could win things like not being hit quite as hard with a baseball bat, for doing things like repaying debts, recognizing and reducing character flaws, etc.

    that is awesome! might a suggest a lightening round called ‘wtf?!’

  297. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:19

    “The demographics race we’re losing badly,” said Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (S.C.). “We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”

    The only honest, true statement made a Republican this week.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/as-republican-convention-emphasizes-diversity-racial-incidents-intrude/2012/08/29/b9023a52-f1ec-11e1-892d-bc92fee603a7_print.html

  298. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:21

    My reality show concept–

    Take groups of teabaggers/tighty-righties and groups of lefties, have them battle each other in a game show style test of knowledge of history, math, science, English, etc…

    The losers have to shut the fuck up.

  299. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:31

    The losers have to shut the fuck up.

    hmmmm…that is surprisingly tame of you…

  300. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:35

    hmmmm…that is surprisingly tame of you…

    Don’t get ahead of yourself, there might be duct tape and a staple gun involved.

  301. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:46

    grrr…someone has sent me a docx file from their galaxy tablet and i can’t get the damn thing to open…i’ve added the windows compatibility suite and still no go…any ideas?

  302. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:51

    never mind…i got it…

  303. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 30, 2012 at 18:53

    grrr…someone has sent me a docx file from their galaxy tablet and i can’t get the damn thing to open…i’ve added the windows compatibility suite and still no go…any ideas?

    Yes.

    Sadly, none of them are related to this.

  304. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:02

    hmmmm…that is surprisingly tame of you…

    We can’t kill them right there on TV–not yet, anyway.

    Also, there is always a chance that our guys will lose. I figure that losing any contest of knowledge (USEFUL KNOWLEDGE) to a teabagger means you should probably keep your yap shut forever.

  305. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:02

    LibreOffice is still going and is nicer than OpenOffice.

    http://www.libreoffice.org/

  306. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:08

    Most generous headline ever:

    FACT CHECK: Ryan Takes Factual Shortcuts in Speech

    ABC News.

  307. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:12

    We can’t kill them right there on TV–not yet, anyway.

    Pfft. More leftist eliminationist rhetoric.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put this Liberal Hunting Permit bumper sticker on my car.

  308. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:15

    Liberal Hunting Permit

    If I ever see one of those in person and I get the opportunity, I’m SO CHALLENGING the cunt driving the vehicle. It would be awesome to corner one of those fucks and call them on their bullshit.

  309. Thread Bear said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:20

    If I ever see one of those in person and I get the opportunity, I’m SO CHALLENGING the cunt driving the vehicle. It would be awesome to corner one of those fucks and call them on their bullshit.

    Down here in Florida I figure that language is threatening enough that I can just stand my ground and shoot ‘em.

  310. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:29

    LibreOffice is still going and is nicer than OpenOffice.

    My whole office is running on LO. It’s good and each version since it was freed from Sun is faster and more stable than the previous one.

  311. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:29

    Down here in Florida I figure that language is threatening enough that I can just stand my ground and shoot ‘em.

    I figure there are two types of assholes who would put that kind of shit on their trucks:

    1) The middle aged guy wearing birth control glasses, flannel and mom-jeans from Walmart. An angry little shit who just wants the world to be his world.

    2) A fat, hairy, stupid redneck who chews Copenhagen and wears lots and lots of camo.

    I like my chances in a fistfight, knife fight or gun fight with either of these fucking pricks.

  312. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:40

    fucking pricks

    What else are they good for besides pissing?

  313. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:42

    Kicking against.

  314. Thread Bear said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:50

    Trauma to the groin

  315. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 19:51

    FAT JOKES ARE TERRIBLE. You will be surprised to see Michael Moore’s name in comments.

  316. tigris said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:07

    yes, but only if being cranky and annoyed while performing sex acts with grody men could be a market…

    The world’s worst whore is cranky and annoyed, but after she takes your money she gets a headache and falls asleep on you in the most uncomfortable way possible. She also has the worst sleep apnea ever.

    fucking pricks

    What else are they good for besides pissing?

    Putting you to sleep for 100 years?

  317. tigris said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:09

    FAT JOKES ARE TERRIBLE.

    Chris Christie is twice the man David Letterman is. At least.

  318. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:13

    The good guys win sometimes, even in Texas

  319. Thread Bear said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:14

    Prick!

  320. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:14

    You will be surprised to see Michael Moore’s name in comments.

    wow…that’s a lovely bunch of people over there…jhc…

  321. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:18

    The good guys win sometimes, even in Texas

    has anyone given a credible, factual answer about why you need id to vote in person, but absentee ballots are a-okay? i would really, really like to know this…we are forced to vote with a mail-in ballot and it just seems to me that that it’s just as easy to game that system as it is in person…easier even…

  322. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:24

    why you need id to vote

    I demand laws saying that you can’t vote without a superego. No repub will ever be elected again.

  323. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:27

    has anyone given a credible, factual answer about why you need id to vote in person, but absentee ballots are a-okay?

    LOL. Why do we need credible, factual information? WE’RE TALKING ABOUT BLACKS HERE! BLACKS!

  324. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:29

    <i.LOL. Why do we need credible, factual information? WE’RE TALKING ABOUT BLACKS HERE! BLACKS!

    dammit! my liberalism was showing again, wasn’t it? srsly…i wish you guys would have told me that a long time ago…

  325. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:29

    also, my tagfail has made a most noticeable appearance…

  326. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:30

    Also, I am more than happy to be a WA State mail-in ONLY voter. I hated going to poll stations. Poll stations, especially the ones with those rigged Diebold voting machines, are a perfect strike point for disenfranchisement. They’ve been doing it since 2000 and it’s only getting worse.

  327. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:30

    dammit! my liberalism was showing again, wasn’t it? srsly…i wish you guys would have told me that a long time ago…

    Don’t be afraid to show off your liberalism…other bitches are just jealous.

  328. Pupienus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:38

    FAT JOKES ARE TERRIBLE.

    Wait what? I thought they were supporters of that particular fat joke.

  329. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:43

    Down the Big Hollywood front page Christian Toto has Richard Corliss “weighing in” on a Michael Moore movie. Ha! Ha!

  330. Pryme said,

    August 30, 2012 at 20:51

    This is worth being “ahemed”. (some days, you guys just move too fast for me to keep up)

  331. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 21:31

    Is it possible for the court to order him to wear pink underwear before conviction?

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/08/30/1125853/-Arpaio-Must-Stand-Trial-9th-Circuit-Orders-He-Go-To-Trial-For-Civil-Rights-Violation-False-Arrest

  332. tigris said,

    August 30, 2012 at 21:44

    I demand laws saying that you can’t vote without a superego. No repub will ever be elected again.

    I thought this said “supernegro” which would be AWESOME.

  333. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 21:49

    You mean superawesome, of course.

  334. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 22:11

    Speaking of superawesome, where the hell has vacuumslayer been lately? Don’t tell me she’s devoting time to raising her kid…I’ll be sorely disappointed.

  335. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 30, 2012 at 22:13

    Even if Joe loses that court case, it’s a civil suit, according the folks at DKos, so he probably doesn’t have any pink underwear in his future. He’s dug in so tight I can’t see any kind of legal proceeding at less than the Federal level pushing him out. He’s 80, so I really think the best tactics to get rid of him are smoking heavily just upwind of him, making sure he always has a double espresso and a shot of tequila within arms reach, and making sure his day is filled with sudden loud noises.

  336. N__B said,

    August 30, 2012 at 22:13

    She’s semi-abandoned us for the “intellectuals” at LGM and their so-called “discussion” of “issues” and “ideas.”

  337. bbkf said,

    August 30, 2012 at 22:17

    She’s semi-abandoned us for the “intellectuals” at LGM and their so-called “discussion” of “issues” and “ideas.”

    yes, i’ve noticed this…i miss her…but i’m not smart enough for the lgm crowd…not that you guys aren’t…you know…smart or anything…

  338. tsam said,

    August 30, 2012 at 22:18

    She’s semi-abandoned us for the “intellectuals” at LGM and their so-called “discussion” of “issues” and “ideas.”

    Well…I NEVER! She is hereby stripped of her “superawesome associate” status.

  339. Cerberus said,

    August 30, 2012 at 22:28

    new post

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