Chutzpah!
Creating a concentration camp in the Arizona desert, murdering a black kid on the sidewalk, kidnapping kids. It really is amazing what you can get away with if you are conservative.
Bryan Fischer, Renew Gallmerica:
The next Underground Railroad: to protect children from judicial kidnappings?
Let’s play a game.
Imagine if you will that you are the head of the SPLC-identified hate group known as the American Family Association.
Grinch like, you have paid witness to the Queers down in Queerville with their legalized sodomy, civil unions, and have fumed and steamed at how your attempts to steal their Christmas hasn’t stopped it from coming. Worse yet, those queers seem to get merrier and marriedier every year. With more rights and more social acceptance.
So one day back in 2002 or so, you get an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea.
You’ll take a queer with their union so civil and you’ll manipulate their depression and abused past by making her into an ex-gay martyr so sacrificial.
And I’m not Dr. Suess so I’ll stop right there. You take this woman now poisoned with self-loathing and you use it to break up this union, all so you can argue that civil unions and gay relationships are doomed to fail and no one is “really” gay. Sure it’s breaking up a marriage, much like you accuse queers doing, but it’s okay. You’ll rationalize it to yourself by saying it’s the same thing gays try to do when they flaunt their tight asses and banana hammocks and make you question your attraction to your unloving and beaten-down wife.
Besides everyone knows that civil unions aren’t the same thing as marriage at all. That’s why you are retroactively for them.
So, now, you have a broken civil union. And what’s luck, your sacrificial lamb also has created life with the woman she once loved and even better luck, your victim is the biological mother, allowing such wonderful possibilities for pure evil and propaganda letters to your followers.
But there’s a problem. Your chosen martyr has gotten unioned in a state that allows unions and worse yet, it treats the ending of such much like a real divorce and so the courts have ordered that custody be shared by the two mothers. You can’t have the political football in the shape of a child be going back to some queer every so often.
And your prey agrees. You’ve convinced her that lesbians are demons who twist and prey on weakness and force unwanted desires into their heads. She wants to make sure her child properly hates her other mother and is raised with the self-loathing that is her right as a child of a psycho fundie.
So, you get another idea. If you order her to ignore that Vermont court order and move to the South where they despise all queers, staying with your members who will support her financially as the symbol of your organization, you can claim martyrdom as the other mother tries to secure her court-given right to visitation.
It’s a wonderful plan. You even latch on to success, a sympathetic bigot judge uses Virginia law to argue that the Vermont court order doesn’t apply and thus Lisa Miller now has full custody of her property to use as she likes.
Now, Lisa Miller can spend her days training her child to hate lesbians like those that created her and going on tours for you showing how brave she was to escape the demonic brainwashing rays of Queerville.
And you can dance the little brat over the precipice to show those filthy Queers that there is nothing they can win that you can not take away.
For a moment, it was all so perfect.
And then.
You felt the worry before it hit. Would Virginia be bigoted enough to ensure this injustice? Would the mother who actually cared about the child as more than a symbol be properly chastened or actually try and fight to see her? Would love rekindle in the damaged goods you have twisted and perverted?
And before you could cry out, tragedy struck. The Vermont courts were not happy about Lisa Miller breaking Vermont law by fleeing out of state with the kid. Furthermore they saw all the “Christian loving” of training a kid to hate the people who made her as some sort of abuse just because it happened to be intense emotional abuse.
Like the demon-lovers they were, they granted primary custody of the child to the parent who didn’t break the law by fleeing out of state. But it was okay. You could work with that. You had her well hidden in Virginia bouncing between your staff members’ houses and the Virginia court agreed with you. Now, you could write endless letters about how the mean liberal courts were trying to take away a Christian’s child and give it to a lesbian to raise. The idiots who keep you in gilded mansions were all too willing to give you their social security checks for a divine mission like that.
It seemed like the gravy train was still running when it hit a bad bend. The Virginia Supreme Court was forced to look at the case with Vermont glaring at it meaningfully, asking it if it wanted to rumble. And they, traitors that they were, ended up siding with the rule of law. That you can’t just escape one state’s laws by running to a state with a different set of them. Also, that the creepy abuse of a child just to “punish” a “sinner” was the sort of thing comic book villains do.
So what do you do? The queers are about to win, your bitch of a victim is whining about how it’s your fault that they want to take her baby away, and you can start to feel irrelevance knocking on the door.
You panicked. It’s okay to admit that in hindsight. You told her to ignore the court order. What was one more in hindsight. You began hiding her from the authorities, bouncing her amongst your staff members and allies, all around the country. Making accomplices to kidnapping of them all.
By 2009, seven years after you first twisted your victim to be a professional hater martyr, you finally ran out of American places to hide her and enlisted close ally Kenneth Miller (no relation) to send her out of country to Nicaragua.
By 2010, Vermont was officially tired of your bullshit and officially granted sole custody to the parent who wasn’t kidnapping their kid for 7 years so they could abuse them for “Christ”. Every so often, you would post a smug “I don’t know what caused her to disappear, but isn’t her case a sad case of discrimination against Christians by homos and the homo-loving courts”.
But it was now tinged with fear. You have tied your entire organization to a major crime, the kidnapping of a child, the sort of thing senile Christian ladies get all weepy over and view as the greatest evil ever.
And with the SPLC thing and the way the gay rights movement was going, it wasn’t a sure thing anymore that being professional homophobes and “Christians in good standing” would necessarily protect you from the law.
Lisa Miller is still at large, your overseas network doing its proper job to protect your organization’s meal ticket.
But, there’s another problem. You’ve now involved your network, your allies’ networks, and Liberty University in a major crime. And worse yet, for some strange reason, people care about that. One of your network (Kenneth Miller) was arrested.
And now, here in 2012, you stand. Kenneth has been charged guilty with abetting an international kidnapping.
You stand on the crossroads. It’s very possible that more of your network or even you personally could also go to jail for your role in permanently abducting a child from the only parent who actually loves her and putting her in the hands of an insane woman you made even crazier and more violently desperate.
You have a choice.
What do you do?
Do you:
A) Keep your damn fool mouth shut lest people start piecing together your direct involvement in a major felony and put you in jail for the rest of your natural born life.
B) Disavow any knowledge of your martyr now that she has become a liability. Pay someone to ensure she and her daughter have an “accident” overseas so you can’t be linked to her, but still use her to argue about how “you could understand how someone could be driven to such desperate actions”, blah blah blah.
or
C)
DING! DING! DING! We have a winnah:
- Pen a piece accusing the Courts of being the true kidnappers because they view kidnapping as a crime. Also, do everything in your power to make people wonder why you aren’t rotting in jail cell.
Oh yeah. He did.
And as an added bonus he used this metaphor:
A pastor is on trial this week in Vermont, accused of helping a mother use a modern version of the Underground Railroad to protect her child from the clear and present danger of being raised in a homosexual household.
And this one:
Peter famously said, in Acts 5:29, “We must obey God rather than men.” If a mother or a pastor are faced with a choice between doing what man commands them to do and what God directs them to do, they must follow the voice of God, especially when vulnerable young children are the ones at risk.
If there was ever a time for a parent and pastor to obey God rather than man, this is it.
And ended reiterating the original metaphail:
Given the direction our society is headed, and its willingness to sacrifice children to the god of sexual perversion, Lisa Miller may not be the last mother who needs a modern version of the Underground Railroad to deliver her child from evil.
And even had the temerity to try and weasel out with this at the very end:
(Unless otherwise noted, the opinions expressed are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the views of the American Family Association or American Family Radio.)
There’s gall. And then there’s Bryan Fischer.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We’re all just mining for fail in the darkest of comedy caverns. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Somehow I do not think that this is what the Rabi Yeshua had in mind when he said, “Suffer the little children.” They also seem to have forgotten that whole “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” bit (which specifically addresses obeying secular law when it conflicts with religious law). They are also ignoring the fact that while the good rabbi railed continuously about the iniquities of the wealthy, whom he damned to the eternal fires, he never once mentioned teh Gayz (it is also a fact that Leviticus only outlaws male homosexuality and never even acknowledges the possible existence of lesbians). Indeed, he quite notably cured the centurion’s male lover.
Put him in jail and throw away the key, says I.
(Of course, no one listens to me. How come Karl Rove wasn’t charged with politicizing the Federal government, or using the DOJ to put a Democratic governor in prison?)
~
According to the linked story, the kid’s in Nicaragua, not Venezuela.
g-
Weird. I wonder where I saw it was Venezuela. Oh well fixed now.
It’s not like similar groups didn’t hide a certain guy who bombed an Atlanta park and a few abortion clinics and stuff, so hiding fugitives must be something in the Kook Christian Martyr handbook.
Well, c’mon, who wouldn’t rather live on the lam than be raised by a lesbian? Security and stability are way over-rated anyway. Nomsane?
Fischer:
a judge marching in goose step with Big Gay
Wouldn’t Big Gay mince?
Ah. The ol’ “Laws don’t apply to us, because GOD!” gambit. Right.
So, if my religion said that it was necessary to fuck Bryan Fischer to death with a rusty Garden Weasel, that’d be just peachy with him?
meh.
These people need to be in jail.
Kurt Vonnegut predicted this some years back: http://www.randomhouse.com/book/184340/palm-sunday-by-kurt-vonnegut#excerpt
The jeebusites will trump with their ace as long as we allow them to.
Wait-is the law gay now? I can’t keep up with all these people coming out these days.
Gay and gay! What is gay?
.
Also, too, I’ve always seen the Amish-Mennonites in a bit of a better light than being mixed up with Fischer and his ilk. Sad, really. Sure, I figured they were “socially conservative.” Duh. They reject the whole industrial revolution. I didn’t think of them, though, as being the sort of hypocrites who feel that they can dictate everybody else’s morality and actions based on their own beliefs, to the point of aiding and abetting felonies. One imagines that being a somewhat oddball minority in a very different society that nonetheless treats you well enough might give one a touch of perspective on such things. Or not, perhaps. I guess every group has their nutter extremists, and I’m going to assume that Miller is just that.
I would like to go on record to proclaim that Fischer shall be bashed with a stick by me for invoking the Underground Railroad, something he would undoubtedly have hated with all the pouting rage he directs at this lesbian mother who just wants to see her child. So saith tsam, basher of dumbasses and great little dancer.
Gay and gay! What is gay?
Somehow I doubt you say this as fetchingly as Kara did.
Here. Take my Garden Weasel.
Somehow I doubt you say this as fetchingly as Kara did.
Starbuck said that TOO? Dang.
.
And again with assertion that the law should be applied differently to glbt citizens. I think it’s time to start exterminating these guys. Since I don’t agree with them, let’s proclaim that the law is failing, necessitating the commission of felonies.
Odds that Fischer would defend the court for awarding visitation to a parent that is a neo-nazi?
Fischer shall be bashed with a stick by me for invoking the Underground Railroad
While you’re at it, could you spare a swing or two for any wingnut who invokes Dred Scott in discussing abortion, Obamacare or anything else?
Absolutely! Consider it done
Here. Take my Garden Weasel.
Use mine. It’s got more rust.
I’m going with the rubber hose since it tears the skin off with it.
Republican Senate Nominee Todd Akin: “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
He’s saying abortion shouldn’t be allowed for rape victims since “legitimate rape” victims don’t get pregnant.
Here. Take my Garden Weasel.
Somehow I doubt you say this as fetchingly as Capt. Kirk did.
Somehow I doubt you say this as fetchingly as Kara did.
Hoping I’m not alone in thinking that Kara was *way* hotter when she was ultra intelligent than she was after the “teacher” wore off.
I watched that whole episode lusting after memories of Marta. Smart Kara was hot, but she was no insane green chick.
I’m going with the rubber hose since it tears the skin off with it.
I have it on good authority that weasels rip flesh. Even the garden variety, I’m sure.
He’s saying abortion shouldn’t be allowed for rape victims since “legitimate rape” victims don’t get pregnant.
Well, that logic worked terrifically in finding witches…if they didn’t drown when you held ’em under water, you could burn ’em. If they did, well omelets and broken eggs, dontcha know.
Good Girls can’t get knocked up, therefore any woman (or child) who gets pregnant must have been a willing participant.
This is a variation on the No True Scotsman fallacy (or principle to asshats like Akin), isn’t it?
Rumors that Le Donalde is actually secretly channeling Bryan Fischer are shopworn, & only serve to display more evidence of liberal Christophobia!
Lest one forget, this is the same piece of work who recently tried to incite all Americans to rise as one to wipe out the demonic menace of its bear population, because one sent by Jehovah in one of his perennial dude-PMS vengeance spasms summarily mauls some poor motherfuckers back in Thee Oulde Testamynt.
Ahhh, the spellcheck! IT BURNS! IT BUUU-UUURNS!
Cole-
So in other words, the only pure good rape victims deserving of treatment are those who manage to sneak off to an abortion clinic or find a way to be on a pill?
In much the same way as the only non-sluts anymore are lesbians who don’t need birth control?
I guess it’s fitting. To these rich fucks, they really aren’t affected by these laws. Their wife is able to get all the birth control, abortions, and post-rape care they need in Canada so who the fuck cares about all those slutty evil American women fucking up the fantasy that God protects the virtuous from the punishments of sin?
Finally got off the boat…
Just the first three paragraphs of Fischer’s column reek of slant, twisted facts, and bigotry. The rest of the page continues the trend, but the pong of his intolerance is intolerable after less than 100 words. Of course, his intended audience are not open-minded individuals, so he’s clearly preaching to his choir here.
The only silver lining I can find here is that his rhetoric isn’t the kind that is going to sway anyone who’s undecided on the rights of same-sex heads of household.
And then there’s the entirely right-brained impression I have of Mr. Fischer, which is based on his photograph: I would never, EVER put my 7-year-old son in his care for an instant… he’s a spitting image of the archetypical charismatic pedophile.
bughunter-
Yeah, sorry for not warning everybody about that fetid swamp. There’s a reason there’s very few mangos in the puree today.
I think of all the assorted bastards of the Right, sanctimonious evangelical preacher types are universally the worst.
I think of all the assorted bastards of the Right, sanctimonious evangelical preacher types are universally the worst.
Agreed–where it comes to being purely ridiculous and insufferable–especially the charismatic ones like Puke-a-bee.
However, I think the most damage is inflicted by the Kock Brothers/Rmoney/Ryan types.
Yeah. I’m fuckin sure this totally happened.
Yeah, I’m fuckin sure this totally happened.
This story is a big fat pile of bullshit. But then again, the other side must be all lies because she’s in “the lesbian lifestyle”. Here we go with that “lifestyle” shit again. Fischer, I’M COMING TO GET YOU.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.
Some comments for those not wishing to ruin their day looking at Fischer’s poopy mcpoop pile:
I had no idea the government was selling satin.
he’s a spitting image of the archetypical charismatic pedophile.
It’s the sweater/turtleneck combo
and YES, that douche posted his email. Not saying you should all do anything, but it would be a damn shame if that email got flooded with awesome pr0n…
See, people, this is why you shouldn’t let your children spend parental-visitation time with a Christian ex-partner, to be exposed to bigotry and superstition and twisted morality. Even if it means ignoring a judge’s order. The laws of Secular Humanism outrank the laws of the state!!
Republican Senate Nominee Todd Akin
I wait with interest to see whether the state and national Republican parties will repudiate their candidate, or remain silent and accept that his stance is official party policy.
Not so much a dogwhistle as a airhorn:
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/08/19/fight-over-poll-hours-isnt-just-political.html
So wait, does this mean that if a rape victim gets pregnant the rapist should go free, since it wasn’t “legitimate rape”? Does he get dual custody? Where do people get these sick misogynistic blame-the-victim ideas?
God’s law bitches!
we shouldn’t contort the voting process to accommodate the urban — read African-American — voter-turnout machine
Thanks, I know what “urban” means to you fuckers.
So wait, does this mean that if a rape victim gets pregnant the rapist should go free, since it wasn’t “legitimate rape”?
I suspect that Akin does believe this… that pregnancy proves that the woman consented and enjoyed the experience.
“I guess I really actually feel we shouldn’t contort the voting process to accommodate the urban — read African-American — voter-turnout machine,”
IIRC, this is in the context of earlier attempts to contort the voting process to accommodate the suburban — read older middle-class European-American — voter-turnout machine.
Back to Trek: Commodore Decker has died.
Again.
I went ahead and made up a new GOP poster.
Back to Trek: Commodore Decker has died.
Again.
You do know those are reruns, right?
You do know those are reruns, right?
Tell that to William Windon.
way off topic here. But many a year ago there was an excellent post here where the Sadlynauts were blasting the New Republic or the Atlantic or they were blasting someone for saying that the New Republic or the Atlantic was way to the crazy left. They then listed about 2 dozen dead tree magazines. I believe that the closing line was something like `The Atlantic isn’t even the most left publication at Barnes and Nobel`. Forgive my terrible misquote, it has been several years.
Anyone remember that post? I need to get my dad a birthday present and I figure one of those would be great, but I can’t find the bloody post.
If someone with a better memory then I can help me out I would greatly appreciate it.
Cheers
If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down
This reminds me of the nun who told a magazine writer that gang rape never results in pregnancy because the juices don’t flow properly (or something—I don’t remember the exact batshittery but it included the word “juices”). Where do these people learn biology?
I don’t remember the post, but I like Mother Jones.
Errr… unless that makes me a reactionary. Better make that MIM Notes. Except if reading is bourgeois, in which case I recommend moving to a rural area in a poor country and learning from the oral wisdom of the peasants.
Did I mention that I’m one of the most liberal members of this blog?
Win, pedestrian.
Did I mention that I’m one of the most liberal members of this blog?
I’m Brian, and so’s my wife!
Found these mangoes:
OK, which one of you magnificent bastards is responsible for the latter?
“Peter famously said, in Acts 5:29, “We must obey God rather than men.” If a mother or a pastor are faced with a choice between doing what man commands them to do and what God directs them to do, they must follow the voice of God, especially when vulnerable young children are the ones at risk.
If there was ever a time for a parent and pastor to obey God rather than man, this is it.”
Counterpoint:
“Romans 13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except by God’s appointment, and the authorities that exist have been instituted by God.
2 So the person who resists such authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will incur judgment
3 (for rulers cause no fear for good conduct but for bad). Do you desire not to fear authority? Do good and you will receive its commendation,
4 for it is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be in fear, for it does not bear the sword in vain. It is God’s servant to administer retribution on the wrongdoer.
5 Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of the wrath of the authorities but also because of your conscience.
6 For this reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants devoted to governing.
7 Pay everyone what is owed: taxes to whom taxes are due, revenue to whom revenue is due, respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due. ”
So in other words, if the law says that the kid stays with Ms. Jenkins, the kid stays with Ms. Jenkins, and trying to defy this will earn Mr. Fischer a place in Hell. So, if Mr. Fischer truly fears for his immortal soul, he will let this slide.
Then again, this assumes that Mr. Fischer is at least a little afraid there’s a hell. (Being the credulous fool that I am, I sometimes like to pretend that even wingnuts believe what they say, if for no other reason than to be able to hold them to their word.)
Today, we all all pedestrian.
Also, learning the oral wisdom.
Hell, I’m a pedestrian every day.
Holy crap, I didn’t know slaves had to be kidnapped to become free. Fucking public school education.
I went to public school and I think I’d remember if there had been fucking involved.
Oh please, everyone forgets it all after the exam.
Not if they draw their Kama Sutra crib notes on their hand in permanent marker!
Back to Trek: Commodore Decker has died.
Again.
I approve of adding zombie content to the franchise.
HELP I’M A ROCK
There’s an exam?
Oh hell, I need to start cramming!
I for one approve of Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang-based photoshops.
Oh look: I found the exam online.
OK, one last post before passing out in a puddle of whisky vomit:
Newt Gingrich = Commodore Decker. Epic win.
Just replace ‘gay’ with ‘awesome’.
What on Earth leads you to believe they learned biology?
Now this is the kind of Trek Trivia I can sink my teeth into!!
As it, you know, were.
What on Earth leads you to believe they learned
biologyanything?Phasered that for ya.
Oh hell, I need to start cramming!
Up where?
Cramming, you say?
the fantasy that God protects the virtuous from the punishments of sin? – Cerberus
Which fantasy among the so-called and self-proclaimed religious involves, btw, a major Bible reading fail. I am sure there are numerous passages from the Christian “New Testament” to counter that, but since I am a Jewsian, I don’t know them off hand, so I’d recommend those suffering under the delusion you mention read the book of Job or, heck, even Ecclesiastes.
Of course, you can’t count on a righty-tighty to do an egg-head activity like read, so might I suggest A Serious Man. Of course, I imagine most righty-tighties are not fans of the Coen brothers, what with Coen being such a “Muslim” name and all …
BTW, I gotcha yer culture of life for ya: http://now.msn.com/pregnant-teen-with-cancer-dies-after-doctors-delay-chemotherapy-because-it-may-have-terminated-her-pregnancy
But it’s ok. As an anti-abortion person of the Catholic persuasion once said (a man, natch) once said to me, “if I were in such a position, of course I would choose to die rather than have an abortion — after all, given what Jesus and the martyrs went through, it’s the least I could do as a Christian”. Yep. If dying a horrible death on the cross is good enough for the frikkin’ son of god, forgoing chemo is surely good enough for a woman who is a slutty-slut who got herself pregnant. Way to completely misunderstand the whole point of the crucifixion story, but then again what do I know? I’m Jewish.
To be fair to your Catholic conversation partner, DAS, the Bible is pretty permissive when it comes to killing young women for having sex.
James Fallows (quoting Bob Lutz)
Why do Republicans hate America?
~
Why do Republicans hate America?
Occam whispers that it’s because they are stupid, mendacious fucks.
Occam will cut a fool.
Because it’s only America when the Republicans are running the show. When Democrats are even nominally in charge, its double Stalin Hitler days in occupied America. There’s no such thing as a legitimate Democratic administration, so economic sabotage is the duty every patriotic Republican owes his homeland.
And what a comfort that would be to your surviving children.
In today’s “whatever, bro” file:
I can feel your empathy all the way up here in Spokane, fuckface.
THAT’S NOT ALL…he goes on to say:
You keep fuckin that chicken, bro.
The *thousands* of women who get raped every abused every year? Did he drop a few zeroes, or are there only specifically a thousand or so assault victims worthy of his precious empathy?
Also I should probably wave and say hey. Long time lurker, finally got up the nerve to start posting. Will try not to clog the tubes egregiously. I think you guys are swell.
Long time lurker, finally got up the nerve to start posting.
Nerve, blood-alcohol level…it’s a razor’s edge.
Mr. Occam needs to be more carefully where he leaves that thing, really.
The only silver lining I can find here is that his rhetoric isn’t the kind that is going to sway anyone who’s undecided on the rights of same-sex heads of household.
I am ever reminded of the time about 20 years ago when a town in Florida was considering adding sexual orientation to their non-discrimination clause. The antis mounted a campaign so vicious they shot themselves in both feet. One of the council critters, after voting yes with the majority, said “I was against the change until the opponents showed how very badly we need it.”
Whew, that about exhausts my optimism bank for the day. Does anybody have a 14″ ion powered ice augur? I made an appointment with Brybry.
At the Obama internment camps there WILL be adress code!
Flipping through my copy of Emily Post. “Internment” isn’t in the index, but logically it seems like an internment is most similar to a really, really long night at the opera with less singing. This suggests a full length gown is more appropriate.
I’d recommend those suffering under the delusion you mention read the book of Job
But in the end Job gets more goats and children, and a fatter wife and cattle than he even had before.
I guess the moral is that if a woman is test-raped by God, she should stick it out and have the kid, because who knows, there may be another man in it for her someday.
Oh, nooooes!!! The length is great for me, but that bow will land on JUST the wrong spot…
Seize — welcome aboard. If “internment” is anything like “internship” my thought is that a ball gown would impede movement too much, and aren’t we all supposed to be working in those camps?
The Book of Job: an Iron Age account of epic trolling.
Marion, this is very distressing. Emily Post has also neglected the topic of forced labor conditions. I do of course have the most recent edition! What a brave new world of ettiquette we live in.
I can’t help but suspect this may be one of those execrable instances in which sensible shoes are de rigueur.
Oh, absolutely. The last time I tried to wear a pair of those things we used to call fuck-me-pumps I damn near broke an ankle. And you young ‘uns can’t afford to have old farts like me on Medicare breaking bones…
Long time lurker, finally got up the nerve to start posting. Will try not to clog the tubes egregiously. I think you guys are swell.
Welcome–post away!
Not internment camps, but applicable nonetheless
The last time I tried to wear a pair of those things we used to call fuck-me-pumps I damn near broke an ankle
You have to keep your weight off of your heels. That’s a friend tells me.
The last time I tried to wear a pair of those things we used to call fuck-me-pumps I damn near broke an ankle
You have to keep your weight off of your heels. That’s what a friend tells me.
So THAT’S how heels get round? Learn something new every day…!
Bryan Fischer: What Akin meant by “legitimate rape:” actual forcible rape, not consensual sex that later gets called rape. Come on, people.
The thread all comes together in one big circle of shit.
So I guess it’s his word that she said “come on, big guy, jump on” even if she says she screamed “NO” fifty times?
MY IDENTITY BEEN STOLE!
MY IDENTITY BEEN STOLE!
Suddenly, being a boy named Sue doesn’t seem so bad.
More Fascist Fischer
Lest we forget…The Native Americans got exactly what they deserved with the small pox infected blankets and bullets/musket rounds.
How does his poisoned mind not kill the body?
From Fischer’s rant, in case we’re still not clear on the question of whether or not IT’S ALL PROJECTION:
this knee-length bridesmaid dress is soft for touching and comfortable enough for wearing
sold!
Atkin doesn’t seem to grasp why what he said was a fucked up thing to say:
Kaaay…
Akin said on Monday that he “was talking about forcible rape and it was exactly the wrong word.”
“Rape is never legitimate,” Akin added.
really? this is all he’s gotten out of this? somebody throw me their weasel…imma visit this fuckwad…
link
There are many reasons to dislike Heinlein but his writing Job: A Comedy of Justice is not one of them.
“Rape is never legitimate,” Akin added.
I have been won over entirely and now have precisely zero qualms about this individual holding public office.
Lest we forget…The Native Americans got exactly what they deserved with the small pox infected blankets and bullets/musket rounds.
huh…funny…the natives have a totes different story…well, lots of them actually…and oh, look…here’s one!
i’m going to need another rusty garden weasel…
It has been a long, wearisome trudge through motorbikes, scooters, motor cars, video games, war pron, military hardware, military history, aeroplanes, US history, football, baseball and food pron to stay on the same page as you buncha geeks but, at long , long last, I have something in common with Pups.
I have Heinlein’s Job on my shelf and I like it.
the Texas hospitality of Satan himself
he’s got that part right…
Aha, so is this the Heinlein text I should read? I know he’s all seminal and important and shit but sexism gives me dropsy.
i’m going to need another rusty garden weasel…
I’m working on a hemi-powered one in my garage. I’ll let you know as soon as I get the supercharger working.
Is that another teabag joke?
I recommend it, Seize, but there are Sci Fi geeks right here who would prolly know better (they always do). I’m a very lowly member of the Sadlies.
Not really a geek at all, I fear.
The Heinlein everyone needs to read is “Rocket Ship Galileo”. IT HAS NAZIS ON THE MOON, PEOPLE!
Everything’s better with Moon Nazis.
Moon Nazis
Much scarier than Comet Communists.
Come on. You’re out on a date and you’re trying to make the “get out of here and leave us alone” faces and the Moon Nazis never get it.
link
[Emphasis mine]
That seems reasonable. But are we really going to believe a female doctor?
The Heinlein everyone needs to read is “Rocket Ship Galileo”. IT HAS NAZIS ON THE MOON, PEOPLE!
I can’t help but assume that N_B sounds exactly like Jerry Stiller.
I think you guys are swell.
Wait until the pun threads start.
The last time I tried to wear a pair of those things we used to call fuck-me-pumps I damn near broke an ankle
Those aren’t for walking. Says it right in the name.
regardless of the circumstances of how that sperm got there,” […]
That seems reasonable. But are we really going to believe a female doctor?
yeah, cuz…duh?! toilet seats and public swimming pools?!?! hello, ladiesheeples! wake up!
Everything’s better with Moon Nazis.
great, now i have the blue bonnet margarine jingle for an earworm…
Come on. You’re out on a date and you’re trying to make the “get out of here and leave us alone” faces and the Moon Nazis never get it.
i’m glad to see you used the proper grammatical form, there…hate to see the grammar trolls stop in again…
That’s just bad planning. You should have arranged a code word or phrase in advance with the Moon Nazis, so they would have known the best time to step out for a pint. For instance the phrase employed by me in my last roommate situation was “Get the fuck out already, I’m trying to score!”
Moon Nazis
There’s a historically accurate film about them.
Speaking of Moon Nazis, has anyone seen Iron Sky? Can’t decide whether I want to watch it or not.
I shall assume without even looking that Esteev linked to the Iron Sky trailer.
Speaking of Moon Nazis, has anyone seen Iron Sky? Can’t decide whether I want to watch it or not.
no…but speaking of moon nazis, tonight’s ingredients: chicken breast and french fingerling potatoes…go!
Iron Sky had enough laffs for the effort of seeing it. As a whole it’s middling but some of the bits and ideas and design was such that you want to give it more credit. The middle section of the movie is smaller in scale than Moon Nazis invading Earth might suggest.
I shall assume without even looking that Esteev linked to the Iron Sky trailer.
You are correct, sir! Thanks to that trailer, I do not want to see it. But the trailer is kinda funny.
I fear grammar Nazis.
Now if only we could get Moon Nazi Zombies we’d be all set. For what I do not know.
Grammar Nazis in Spaaaaaace!!!
Damn, conservatives really don’t have a concept of consent. Ryan co-sponsored a “redefine rape” law with Akin… but there’s no Republican war on women, nosiree! Keep moving.
Actually, I’ve been meaning to reread Past Through Tomorrow now that the idea of a Dominionist Theocracy in the US isn’t laughably farfetched. It’s been 30 years, and it was depressing then…
Also, another zombie fallacy expo-zay. WaPo, too.
there’s no Republican war on women
You said it yourself, B^4. But — if there was such a war — it’s not like women vote for Republicans anyway, right?
America’s Shittiest Website™ wants Akin gone. Hardly anyone is defending him in the comments.
You said it yourself, B^4. But — if there was such a war — it’s not like women vote for Republicans anyway, right?
What if they had a war on women and nobody came?
America’s Shittiest Website™ wants Akin gone. Hardly anyone is defending him in the comments.
I’m sure that many of them are thinking merely of the senate race (they need to get McCaskill’s seat if they hope to win the Senate) and the “drag” he’ll have on GOP candidates in other races. Of course, the loathsome Loesch’s and the die-hard teahadis are defending Akins, but NRO is more of an establishment organ.
The Dems better hammer on the Akins/Ryan stuff…
nobody came?
No pregnancies, no abortions, no problems.
From teh NRO link:
O RLY? They seem to have come mighty close recently in Oklahoma, Mississippi, South Dakota, North Dakota, Michigan, Arizona, Louisiana, Virginia, Florida, Georgia, Texas, Colorado, Montana and Arkansas. Just to name a few that have made headlines.
Might want to check with the base on that.
Sadly, I think he’s right about that last sentence, but we’ll see, I guess.
I fear Unknown Republican more than Akin in that race.
I fear Unknown Republican more than Akin in that race.
Me too, considering McCaskill has pretty lousy campaigning skills, on top of being a female Democrat in MO. It occurs to me that her head has been on the block since the ACA debates. She fucked herself by opposing it and then caving in.
I like the sound of McCaskill’s voice – which means it’s probably fingernails on a chalkboard to a lot of Missourians.
Something I don’t understand about that race: How, exactly, did McCaskill help Akin win the primary, assuming that’s not yet another paranoid GOP delusion?
nobody came?
You’re doing it wrong.
I have a sense that we are still a people of forgiveness
He’s lying, he has no sense.
Egad, bughunter that is some wretched shit right there. This little tick always gets me:
Suddenly the gender neutral word “people” is being used when talking about pregnancy and rape. They could have argued that male rapists fire blanks during the act of rape and be offering an equally valid medical explanation for the pregnancy they think does not result from rape; but that wouldn’t scratch their victim blaming itch and excuse the man from taking his liberties with the “whores” that who “consent” by not overpowering the man.
Since the late eighties talking heads on the news have used “woman” when describing 14 year old girls who have been raped or prostituted, as well. Some people just don’t get the “correct” part of “politically correct”. Apparently they think that some words are talismans such that using them makes the speaker “politically correct”.
As I recall her campaign produced attack ads on Akin’s opponents in the primary.
The Dems better hammer on the Akins/Ryan stuff…
If by stuff you mean “PENIS”… yes, I think Akins and Ryan should have their dongs hit with hammers.
I have a sense that we are still a people of forgiveness
Leviticus says “NO”.
From thinkprogress,
Also too, I’m looking forward to hearing Akin et al. be labeled “pro-rape conservatives.”
Also, another zombie fallacy expo-zay.
Franke-Ruta was frist.
If I understand Akin’s attempts to refudiate his earlier misspeaking, all he was trying to do was distinguish between statutory rape and the other kinds, i.e. pregnancy is a possibility only after statutory rape or stupefaction. Hence the necessity for the Ryan-Akin bill (No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act) designed to deny abortion after statutory rape, and make it possible only after forcible rape where it’s not necessary because pregnancy is not an option.
I don’t want to live on this planet any more.
Also too, I’m looking forward to hearing Akin et al. be labeled “pro-rape conservatives.”
They aren’t pro-rape, they’re “pro-sperm.”
They are not only pro-rape, but if you read up on their economic plan, you will find they are pro-pillage as well.
Damn! Can’t even spell my own nym today.
They aren’t pro-rape, they’re “pro-sperm.”
They’re decidedly anti-woman.
I saw it last night and I loved it. It’s bad, certainly, but in a fun way. It revels in its inherent silliness.
I should note, though, that the subject matter is right up my alley. It’s stooped in popular WWII conspiracies and pulp-Nazi iconography, both of which I love wholeheartedly.
It also satirises the common American belief that the US won Word War II singlehandedly.
SPOILER: The end credits tease a sequel about Communists from Mars.
As a member of the aliterary society, I like Comet Communists better. They should have gone with Muslins from Mars.
I should note, though, that the subject matter is right up my alley. It’s stooped in popular WWII conspiracies and pulp-Nazi iconography, both of which I love wholeheartedly.
Just wait until Riddled the Movie comes out.
SPOILER: The end credits tease a sequel about Communists from Mars.
Hello, RED planet!
I tried dictating my shopping list. Should be an interesting week, given the orgeat juice and mescaline I must procure.
I was thinking Dictation might be a good thing for my mom but it’s just too flaky. It’d be entertaining though…
Wait until the pun threads start.
I was unaware that they ever ended?
Hello, RED planet!
Red Rover, Red Rover, watch Moscow fly over.
Federal law prevents federal Medicaid funds and similar programs from paying for abortions.
Aka the “Homewrecker” Hyde Amendment. Exhibit No. 98,643 of Why I Am Not A Democrat is their failure to repeal this, and making the Republicans defend “Homewrecker Hyde” and his personal morality the entire way. Entire speeches should describe how Republicans worship him for his advanced sense of sexual morality, his relentless upholding of right-wing family values, his respect for the sanctity of marriage, which will always & forever be superior to the standard GOP practice, etc.
The native American tribes at the time of the European settlement and founding of the United States were, virtually without exception, steeped in the basest forms of superstition, had been guilty of savagery in warfare for hundreds of years, and practiced the most debased forms of sexuality.
Native American tribes of 1600-1800 were from England in the 1300s?!? WTF, that’s weird even for you, Bryan.
It has been a long, wearisome trudge through motorbikes, scooters, motor cars, video games, war pron, military hardware, military history, aeroplanes, US history, football, baseball and food pron …
You say that like it’s a BAD thing!
I have Heinlein’s Job on my shelf and I like it.
It has 67% less mommy-fixation than most of his later stuff, but his ever-wicked sense of humor remains undulled. I lost track of how many ways he mocks American Christian fundies in that book, mostly because I was laughing so hard. (Reading it in Colorado just made it better.)
Sounds like it’s time to dig through my partner’s piles of scifi paperbacks then, tensor.
Holy crap I actually found a copy.
Totally incidental discovery: cover artists think that the sand worms of Dune look suspiciously like the sand worm in a gentleman’s trousers.
I should note, though, that the subject matter is right up my alley. It’s stooped in popular WWII conspiracies and pulp-Nazi iconography, both of which I love wholeheartedly.
did you ever see Dead Snow? All that and the romance of zombies!
the sand worm in a gentleman’s trousers.
Lube, yer doing it wrong.
Holy crap I actually found a copy.
Sounds like a sign you should read it. 🙂
As I recall, the heroine is another one of H.’s mommy-figures, but there’s no incest vibe this time. Also, as an atheist, (SPOILER ALERT!) I found the “you get the eschatology you believe in” to be a great closer.
All that and the romance of zombies!
A necromance, as it were.
By page 10 we have already had a great number of “feminine bosoms” (40 to be exact) but I am holding out for this succubus heroine. Generally I am pro-succubus.
“Sanding the worm” – is it still a euphemism if it’s more unpleasant than simply naming the sex act?
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw gnaw gnaw
Groan-gnaw, groan-gnaw ganw
Jaw jaw ooh lah lah
Want your necromance
By page 10 we have already had a great number of “feminine bosoms” …
Which may explain entirely how it initially held the attention of my 20-year-old self…
Holy crap I actually found a copy.
I think I actually have a hardcover around somewhere, but right now I am re-reading Fear And Loathing on the Campaign Trail, which seems….current. For all the hagiography regarding his tax returns, George Romney gets a few well-pointed jabs with the garden weasel.
By page 10 we have already had a great number of “feminine bosoms”
Are you sure it wasn’t a copy of Fifty Shades of Gray?
“Sanding the worm” – is it still a euphemism if it’s more unpleasant than simply naming the sex act?
Depends on which grit you use. 60 would be a lot more unpleasant than 400.
Who and what now, zrm? I don’t hold much with romance. Necromance is where it’s at. Fifty Shades of Grey and Slightly Mottled is more up my alley.
Oh hai
Dammit people… this is why you always field a candidate. This was a Democratic district from 1999-2011, but this clown is running unopposed.
As he dived into the water naked, someone screamed that he was not wearing any clothes, according to the GOP sources.
If pictures do not exist, it will be necessary to create them.
By page 10 we have already had a great number of “feminine bosoms”
39? 41?
Romney/Ryan blingee:
http://bln.gs/b/25kqi6
No, he is quite explicit that there are an even number of feminine bosoms. That said, considering the many Biblical allusions in the novel, one might also read the text “forty feminine bosoms” colloquially as as “a metric fuckton of tits.”
Romney/Ryan blingee:
The tiny flickering heart over Ryan’s crotch is a nice touch
I’ll take “Akin stays in” and pay $3 for $2.
The tiny flickering heart over Ryan’s crotch is a nice touch
Normally, of course, he’s portrayed as completely heartless.
Fifty Shades of Grey and Slightly Mottled is more up my alley.
Oh shit, don’t get these zombie-haters started….
this is why you always field a candidate.
Bring back Howard Dean.
Ask yer moms how my dictate.
Bring back Howard Dean.
Always with the zombification.
You’ve got to admit, the path from “YEEAAAH” to “BRAAAAAINS” is not all that long.
The missing link in that path is David Caruso.
Always with the zombification.
well, you start with resurrecting buildings, and one thing leads to another…
Zombie quotes The Fixx! Film at 11!
I chuckled to see the Fixx is playing Shank Hall this week. Still considering going.
Is Men Without Hats opening for them?
And yes, you fucking grammar Nazis, that is the correct verb.
Is Men Without Hats opening for them?
I WISH.
Local musician named Liv Mueller.
MWH defined my college era: their big hits were in fall of freshman year, their last tour of their original incarnation was cancelled for lack of interest in spring of senior year.
Holy shit: Safety Dance 1983
Pop Goes the World 1987
I really thought that took longer.
I really thought that took longer.
In some cases, quite a bit less. my girlfriend hated Safety Dance the second time I played it.
It just seemed longer.
And yes, you fucking grammar Nazis, that is the correct verb.
I think you mean that ARE the correct verb.
Don’t forget Niggaz With Hats.
ARE ARE ARE
humor
Is Men Without Hats opening for them?
Well, not exactly. It’s 30 years on, and they don’t have all the original members.
So, Man Without Hair.
ARE ARE ARE
humor
You’re yanking my chain over a Fixx reference and you go for a Mork reference? Come on. What’s next for you, a Perfect Strangers pun?
I’m just yanking the chain to watch the lightbulb go on and off.
John O’Sullivan is 70:
So, garden weasels for Mr. O’Sullivan then? Or weed-whackers?
Imagine how curmudgeonly he’ll be when he’s 80.
ZRM, i’m in Cleveland and noticing all of the run-down brick factory buildings, just ripe for renovation. Too bad property values have collapsed. From teh Wiki it appears Cle was doing pretty well until the recent unpleasantness with the bankers.
Ah well, it’s only people’s lives, eh?
From TPM
It may not be “peak wingnut” but it does appear that the Republican establishment at least has some limits during an election season.
John O’Sullivan is 70:
So if I read it correctly, O’Sullivan is torn between his dislike of the neo-Tsarist state / church machinery in Russia and his dislike of punk feminism, and painfully comes to the conclusion that he is on the side of the Pussy Riot musicians? (though not quite enough in sympathy with them to bring himself to spell out their name).
Yeah, I saw the O’Sullivan article and then came back to it later and tried to find it on the Corner main page with “pussy” and was amazed. Journalism has its limits.
Loadpants does not disappoint.
Loadpants does not disappoint.
Now with 95% more Falseness and only 5% of the Equivalence!
Lest we forget, the white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.
For all the coverage of the XXX Olympiad, I thought sailing was heartlessly left out. It seems that Irish television had extensive coverage though.
Fifty Shades of Grey
Romney/Ryan blingee:
http://bln.gs/b/25kqi6
You can cut the sexual tension with a knife!
John O’Sullivan is 70
Robert Plant is 64:
Hasn’t this jerk’s opponent McCaskill (?) been a pretty good Repug voter in the Senate anyway? So a loss to her is not like a loss to, say, Warren? Maybe the Repugs are OK with throwing the jerk under the bus and thereby appearing to have morals?
Hasn’t this jerk’s opponent McCaskill (?) been a pretty good Repug voter in the Senate anyway? So a loss to her is not like a loss to, say, Warren? Maybe the Repugs are OK with throwing the jerk under the bus and thereby appearing to have morals?
He’s a representative, so he’s largely flown under the radar. His awful remarks come in the context of his first real media exposure. The GOP, seeing the outraged response, is throwing him under the bus hoping that he’ll drop out, so they can have a “do over”. If he doesn’t drop out, I think that they’ll do a 180, and claim that the outrage is due to “liberal media bias”. Meanwhile, the Teahadi dead enders are throwing their support behind Akins 100%.
McCaskill voted for the ACA. She’s basically an old fashioned non-insane moderate repub, which is infinitely preferable to a teabagger.
Someone did a crack job of photoshopping the ham sandwich out of that picture of Jonah.
Jonah always has that look of fear with a thin veneer of compensatory anger that you’ll find in people who are thrust into the role of an intellectual without the proper training and equipment.
Jonah always has that look of fear with a thin veneer of compensatory anger that you’ll find in people who are thrust into the role of an intellectual without the proper training and equipment.
I think it’s fear and a thin veneer of anger because he suspects that the deli clerk has mistakenly put vegetables on his ham sandwich.
Mortadella is a vegetable, right?
Also, who is Della and why do the Italians want her dead?
Also, who is Della and why do the Italians want her dead?
I think she’s just a femme fatale.
John O’Sullivan is 70:
And he has found footprints on his lawn.
Bring back Howard Dean.
Always with the zombification.
He will be surprised to discover he is dead.
Many people are.
I strongly suspect that the most common last words are some variation on “oh fuck.”
I strongly suspect that the most common last words are some variation on “oh fuck.”
“I told you I was sick”
“I should have spent more time at the office”
“I could have had a V8.”
“Why pay all that money for an electrician, I can fix it.”
“I drank what?”
“Hey y’all, WATCH THIS!”
“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.”
“No I’m sure, this is the edible kind – you see the little gills under the cap?”
“I just boosted our life insurance to $500,000!”
“I just saw ‘Fast and Furious’!”
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this range”
“Of course it’s not loaded.”
“The green wire. It’s ALWAYS the green wire.”
“That only happens in movies.”
“I’m sure it won’t bite”
“Be vewy vewy quiet”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I just saw ‘Fast and Furious’!”
“I could have had a V8.”
“It’s probably just the gauge”
“He’s bluffing.”
“No, you step aside!”
“Honey, I’m just going to take this barrel over the falls. I’ll be back in a few…”
“The republicans will take care of us.”
“First”
one might also read the text “forty feminine bosoms” colloquially as as “a metric fuckton of tits.”
so…more than a bag of tits?
“He has to stop, pedestrians have the right-of-way.”
“He has to stop, pedestrians have the right-of-way.”
I’ve had quite a few screeching tires and once had to jump onto a hood, but dammit there’s nothing I hate more than letting a three ton metal bully walk all over people – so to speak.
I’ve had quite a few screeching tires and once had to jump onto a hood, but dammit there’s nothing I hate more than letting a three ton metal bully walk all over people – so to speak.
Remember, the laws of physics always supercede state and local laws.
Nice one, Bozo…
Remember, the laws of physics always supercede state and local laws.
Luckily for women, biology does not.
“Hey, it’s been awhile. Did I miss anything?”
“Hey, it’s been awhile. Did I miss anything?”
Everyone’s mom has been asking about you.
“I got a new motorcycle!”
“Hey, this fog’s not so bad………….”
Everyone’s mom has been asking about you.
Unlikely. Most of them knew exactly where I was.
“He’s bluffing.”
Damn you Monotreme. Barely back at all, and AHEMed in my third post.
“They’re more afraid of you then you are of them.”
“Don’t fire until you see the whites of………………”
Sorry, Major, but:
Major Kong: “YeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaaa”
“Let’s see what this cargo plane can do!”
“Relax Mr Bond, you have no possible means of escape.”
Don’t remove tag under penalty of law? Pshaw
“Trust me, I’m a professional.”
“Just a liiiiiittle bit more…”
Manos: The Hands of Fate can’t be that bad.
“I wonder what happens if I put this into there.”
You get called a pedophile.
You get called a pedophile.
Sweet IPU, surely you don’t think I’m Catholic.
“Stop calling me Shirley.”
“I wonder what happens if I put this into there.”
AKA: Slippery Dolphin
“Does this taste funny to you?”
“Does your dog bite?”
“Check out how realistic this toy gun looks”
“Whatever Officer – look I pay your salary and you best be showing me some respect.”
“Kill more cats!”
You get called a pedophile.
Speaking of which
I guess it does depend on how statutory… but it’s hard to evaluate King’s assertion without knowing a little more about the basis of his expertise.
Teenagers never get pregnant. I think their bodies shut down under duress and….
Here we go with the backhanded defenses and the “well, what he said was wrong, BUT…” bullshit. Awesome.
Exhaustive research on child pregnancies
That took me FOREVER to find.
Manos: The Hands of Fate can’t be that bad.
Hey! I just paid good money to see that movie last week. Along with Welcome Back Norman and At Your Fingertips: Cylinders.
Can Steve King know the Set of All Things Steve King Hasn’t Heard Of?
Well, I didn’t see the Rifftrax Live version, but I found it painful even with the MST3K treatment.
Other hard to watch episodes for me were Monster A-Go-Go, Invasion of the Neptune Men and the works of Coleman Francis. The MST3K/Rifftrax guys are great, but they can’t save everything.
300!
Sorry, I don’t get it. Why would “300” be anybodies last words?
Just finished counting the bears?
We are SPARTA!
It might be if you’re on the front lines of the transvestite/mutant Persian hoards.
Oh very good, tsam!
“Look at the bald prophet!”
oh, you can all just bite me…
“Zombies are just fictional creatures.”
Mike Huckabee on rape.
“bite me”
“Hold my beer and watch this!”
“Hey! What’s a mountain goat doing up here in a cloud bank?”
“A merciful God would never allow that to happen.”
“Nobody could have predicted”
Mike Huckabee on rape.
Ah yes, the whole “alternate reality” argument against abortion. If your mother got an abortion, you wouldn’t be here! Yup, and if she hadn’t gone to Christian summer camp that one year and knew how to use birth control I wouldn’t be here either.
Even if all women were kept pregnant at all times from the sperm of as many men as possible, some potential future children would be murdered by our failure to produce them. You just can’t have every possible baby.
The best we can do is make good choices on when and under what conditions we would like to raise children. Like, you know, not forcing fucking rape victims to raise their rapist’s babies. Am I really saying this?
That’s not my dog.
“not forcing fucking rape victims to raise their rapist’s babies. :
Oh, they don’t have to raise their rapists’ babies. That would be unreasonable. These folks are generously willing to let the victims adopt the babies out. All the victims have to do is gestate them for nine months and squeeze them out of their vaginas or surgical incisions. A minor inconvenience.
i can beat that train…
“I just had the brakes checked”
If your mother got an abortion, you wouldn’t be here!
Hell, if diaphragms were 100% effective I wouldn’t be here.
“Madam, God himself could not sink this ship!”
“Bring it on!”
The best we can do is make good choices on when and under what conditions we would like to raise children.
Gee, that would be called something like “Family Planning,” which we all know is intimately connected with atheism and secular humanism. No, the only proper Christian thing for a woman to do is get married at the age of consent, allow her husband to fuck her whenever he likes, but not to enjoy it, to stay pregnant and stay home to raise as many babies as possible, thereby creating plenty of cheap labor while also saddling the father with a continuous stream of little mouths to feed and when he dies, any wealth he accumulates will therefore be diluted across a multitude of heirs preventing any concentration of wealth to threaten the status quo of a plutocratic theocracy.
And if by some chance another man puts his dick in her (aside from her dead husband’s brother of course) she damn well better not get pregnant, because if she did that would prove she enjoyed it and that it therefore wasn’t legitimate rape and that she’s just a whore.
The rest of the arguments about life beginning at conception and wasted potential are just bullshit red herrings to conceal the misogynist foundation of evangelical conservatives’ beliefs.
Fundametalists -both Xtian and Muslim- must eliminate the option to allow abortion by any method under any circumstances because that would allow women to control when and how they get pregnant and undermine the entire socioeconomic trap that theocracies used for millenia in order to maintain power in Europe, the Middle East and elsewhere.
“They all make that noise”
“What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again…”
“Necro…..nom…..icon……”
“I’m not chicken and I’ll prove it.”
Romney throws bus drivers under the bus.
Watch Jonah take issue with someone using the wrong kinda metaphor.
“Don’t worry, it’s not loaded”
When you put your hands over your ears and start loudly chanting LA LA LA LA LA LA… it is simply amazing the things you never hear.
“Those bikers don’t look so tough.”
Watch Jonah take issue with someone using the wrong kinda metaphor.
Geez, cut Pantload some slack. He only wrote the one book comparing everyone who disagrees with him to Nazis. It’s not like he’s done anything remotely like that recently.
“Don’t let it end like this! Tell them I said something!”
“I’ve always wanted to run with the bulls”
“You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude and temperance. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, father. Ambition. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness, courage, perhaps not on the battlefield, but… there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family and to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn’t want me for your son. “
A lot of these function just as well as “last words before orgasm:”
“I told you I was sick!”
“Hold my beer and watch this!”
“They all make that noise”
“i can beat that train…” [For given values of “train”]
“A merciful God would never allow that to happen.”
FYI: the link from that last post was satire.
And as far as last words:
“I don’t think they can find us in the dark.”
Yoo Noo Yawkahs been to Pok Pok yet? If it’s half as good as the Portland edition it’s very good.
“Your sister is pretty hot”
“Got a match?”
“Honey, have you put on some weight?”
Watch Jonah take issue with someone using the wrong kinda metaphor.
Calling a book “The Tyranny of Cliches” is ludicrous because cliches don’t have fists and even if they did they wouldn’t be made of iron.
mitt:
we don’t divide Americans based on their level of success. We come together.
i call bullshit!
Fuck. http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/3/1675138/restaurant/New-York/Columbia-St-Waterfront-District/Pok-Pok-NY-Brooklyn
Coining the term tyranny when you don’t get your way is pretty cliche. Jonah is such a butthole. (NOT intended to be a metaphor).
We come together
He’s so insensitive to my needs. This has never happened.
Durian custard
Pup have you ever had durian? I hear they’re a bitch to prepare so naturally I’m curious as all hell.
He’s so insensitive to my needs. This has never happened.
Honestly it’s more of a genre cliche than an actual thing; you mustn’t feel like you’re settling. I say “mustn’t” because “can’t” would be strictly inaccurate.
“It’s just the normal noises in here…”
I have never had durian. I’m pretty that in a previous apartment we had neighbors who had it regularly. Either that or they had rotten corpses in their bathtub every couple of weeks.
And you call yourself a respectable food pornographer!? I guess I will have to go on a weird fruit quest to the Korean mart, then. They really smell that bad?
They smell horrible. In Thailand, people are banned from eating them in public places like buses.
I had a Vietnamese friend who came back from Saigon after a visit and had great fun passing out Durian candy to his US friends and watching the expressions on their faces. The shit tastes like the fruit smells… like a friggin’ dumpster in Texas heat.
Durian gelato is sold here. The container is kept covered.
Pup –
I just started a project literally one block from Pok Pok. So I probably will be there soon.
Jonah (cited at the House of Substance):
East Germany’s supply of rich people had a rapid half-life
The man definitely needs to read a book about the sloppy use of cliches.
ya know, you metropolitan types with your cool and yummy (except the durian) foods are making those of us who live in the middle of nowhere really, really hungry and jealous…double gnawing if you will…
“I’m sure I can take that corner flat out next lap…”
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