Seven-six-two decibels. Full metal wingnut

Robert Oscar Lopez, American Wanker:
The Soul-Crushing Scorched-Earth Battle for Gay Marriage

Bisexuals often have a raw deal in our society. They have little visibility, few if any iconic characters, movies, or spokespersons to call their own. The few they have are often complete fail or are bizarrely referred to as completely heterosexual or homosexual (such as Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

In addition, bisexuals are often thought of as either absent, lying, or sluts. If they aren’t regularly fucking both genders back and forth indiscriminately, then obviously they are lying about their attraction to the sex they aren’t currently dating. And it gets more complicated when you factor in the Kinsey Scale and have to explain that not all bisexuality is middle of the road 50/50 attraction to both sexes.

And it really doesn’t help that what few activists break through this noise so often end up being either airy-fairy types who are more concerned with “moving past labels, man” or bitter egomaniacal idiots who are more interested in bashing gay culture for perceived slights in the dating scene than working for better bi visibility in general.

Also probably not helped by the unfortunate fact that a number of young gay men and women do use “bisexual” as a temporary self-identification while they are figuring out who they are which makes people unfairly skeptical when people self-identify as bi.

But you know what really doesn’t help?

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

• I’m bi and was raised by two lesbians, therefore my homophobic campaign against any gay rights I don’t benefit from personally couldn’t possibly be gay bashing. And if that doesn’t prove my case, then surely penning an article for the totally queer-affirming American Thinker will!

Hear that sound? That’s the sound of bi visibility being kicked in the balls so hard, it’s been knocked back 5 years.

Let’s see how much more damage he can do before he’s finished.

How much is victory worth? And after you win, if you win, what do you have to show for it?

Well, if the Olympics taught me anything, you win a shiny medal with upwards of 6% of the metal it’s supposed to contain.

As these principles go with warfare, so they go with propaganda. The Greek word polemos, “war,” led not to the English word “war,” but rather to the English word “polemics.”

Yeah, English is a crazy amalgamation of edited words cribbed from all over Europe and given new contexts and definitions.

I mean, take the word “homo*phobic” for instance. By its greek root, it should mean fear of similarity or sameness. Or more specifically, the fear of conformity. And yet not even the most crazed right-winger would use this to argue that it’s young anti-authoritarian Hot Topic shoppers who are the real homophobes, because even the Junior Etymology Club realizes that language undergoes some level of evolution over time.

So what is supposed to be your point other than, “dur, I must be iz smart, because I’z can look up things on etymonline.com“?

The gay movement is not a random assortment of motley rebels. It is highly organized, with major nerve centers in places like the Human Rights Coalition. The movement has its prominent generals, such as Dan Savage and Wayne Besen.

Snrk.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh wow.

Surely mixed metaphors are the Stalin of Liberal Etymology or something, but I’m sorry.

Every time I look at this I find something new to laugh at. Wayne Besen and Dan Savage are A) the heads of the gay rights movement and B) generals of the ilk of Patton, preparing their tank march across the front lines of marriage equality. Human Rights Coalition totally controls the gay rights movement like The Brain from Doom Patrol and isn’t just a cynical lobbying organization often despised by most queer activists.

Hee hee hee. It’s just so utterly wonderful. I want to frame it next to my bedpost so I can start every morning with a smile.

Also, not to break the mood, but what’s with all these conservative “queers” and their 0% understanding of the LGBT community that “totally neglected and abandoned me”. Fuck, I think Bryan Fischer understands the LGBT community better than this bisexual man does and that’s just sad.

In other words, this is a movement equipped to pick its battles. In 1999, history was made because Vermont’s high court legalized same-sex civil unions. The battle plan then could have been to focus on civil unions, forging a new model of romantic commitment in a nation where the old notion of “marriage” had long suffered from stasis.

The war could have been won and over by now. In polls that break down three choices for respondents — (1) no recognition of same-sex couples, (2) civil unions, or (3) marriage — civil unions tend to get the highest support.

As evidenced by how when gays were fighting for civil unions, movement conservatives thoroughly embraced them and gladly helped them pass laws enshrining civil unions into the law of the land and ensuring they were given all the rights due a marriage-level romantic coupling.

What’s that you say? Movement conservatives fought just as bitterly against civil unions and have only begun rewriting history in favor of supposedly supporting civil unions once the gay movement began fighting for and winning legislative victories on behalf of full marriage equality?

Well, that just doesn’t seem right, magic talking voice that is surely not a schizophrenic episode. After all, this nice young man has shown absolutely no sign of being a lying asshole with a barely hidden agenda.

By using civil unions as the framework, gays and lesbians could have redefined the concept of gay family to encompass new forms of cooperative foster care, for instance, rather than trying to erase the role of biological fatherhood and motherhood.

No sign, whatsoever.

Most importantly, had civil unions been the focus, there would have been nowhere near as much resistance. One thing that I learned while being raised by a lesbian mother and her female partner (more on that in a moment) is simple but important: not everyone is going to like you. You can’t change some people’s minds. Screw them and move on.

Yeah, no. Sorry, but there’s no way in Hell that’s the lesson you learned.

You learned that if people hate you for who you are, it is important to fellate said people for the rest of your life. Because you think if you make enough overt displays of self-loathing with regards to everyone like you, you might earn a personal entry into the “honorary conformist” club and thus face slightly less personal attacks.

Fuck, I don’t even need to use your life as conservative homophobe apologist to demonstrate this. Later in this very post, you start whining like a stuck pig about how the selling of your soul to the forces of bigotry has led people to call you a bigot. More importantly, you do this with shock and outrage that demonstrates a life unscarred by legitimately fighting for one’s right to exist against a hostile world.

Real “screw what they say, I live my own life” people don’t view it as a Scorched Earth metaphor to receive mild pushback. They make jokes about the many times they’ve received death threats or been physically assaulted by angry defenders of conformity. Because if they allowed it any deeper it would break them.

Sorry, if that ruins your James Dean fantasy, Robbie, but it needed to be said.

The war for marriage was destined to be bloodier and costlier.

Swift blazing pride flag of the regiment,
Leather Eagle with crest of red and gold,
These men were born to drill and diet.
Point for them the virtue of slaughtering tradition,
Make plain to them the excellence of killing biological gender roles
And a field where a thousand marriages lie.

I might hazard a guess that gay spokespeople like Dan Savage preferred it to be bloody and costly, since in a strange Lord of the Flies psychology, they would be able to command the most resources by making gay people feel constantly embattled, hated, and in need of take-no-prisoners leadership of the kind Savage promised.

That’s right. You in your ivory tower elitist liberal brainwashing Mecca Ultra Mecha War Rooms might think that antipathy to gay rights and those perceived as queer precedes the existence of the modern gay rights movement and has more roots in say, the weird belief that there are “biological gender roles” that just so happen to correspond to 1950s TV stereotypes.

But that’s blinded you to the TRUTH that all those self-hating homosexual bullies that beat you up were paid actors employed by 3 year old Dan Savage in the hopes that he could eventually release a free web video series called “It Gets Better” to try and counter the fictitious problem. This somehow also helps him take over important natural resources like coal, oil, and high camp.

It’s just common sense.

In any case, the LGBT movement started at a solution — gay marriage equality — and then reasoned backwards, searching for arguments that would justify it.

I believe it more began with “stop killing us”. Heck, even if you get really egotistical and ahistorical and just look at the “modern LGBT movement in the US”, I’m pretty sure Stonewall was more concerned with preventing the continuous violent raids of their social clubs and maybe legalizing their right to be with who they love. Fuck, I don’t think most queers even thought marriage equality was remotely possible until the last 20 years or so. A testament to the great success they’ve had as a movement.

You’d think your Heatherian two mommies might have mentioned this more to you, considering your one and only claim to fame was arguing that your lesbian parents involving you in the Gay Rights movement at a young age fucked you up for life and forced all these nasty homosexual desires into your head.

It’s almost like you’re a lying self-hating fuck or something.

It is always ill-advised to put forward an answer and then go fishing for questions.

Yeah Queer Rights Movement, you need to stop doing that, because that’s the reason that your arguments keep getting laughed out of the courts and your research is treated like the unsubstantiated slop it is!

The LGBT movement was forced into that position since it had to fight for gay marriage equality in two places where argumentation carries the day — first, the court system, and second, the two-party electoral process. So gay marriage equality became a platform, a goal, a panacea, a nearly utopian mantra — for which there was no immediate or compelling emergency.

No immediate or compelling emergency.

Let us not forget that the LGBT community abounds in emergencies. Here is a snapshot of gay male life in 2010, as I wrote for an article that I ended up not publishing:

Meanwhile, gay men were not necessarily becoming happier simply because taboos crumbled and it was easier for them to have sex. Eating disorders, suicide, depression, and addiction were higher among gay and bisexual men than among other groups. In 2010, a report by the Center for Disease Control revealed that men who had sex with men were still contracting HIV at 44 times the rate of other men-despite decades of activism by a muscular and highly visible gay movement.

And naturally, high levels of suicide, depression, and addiction, especially among queer youths has absolutely nothing to do with social disregard for queer individuals by families and society as demonstrated by the second-class legal status given to their loves and relationships.

In Robert’s world, eating disorders amongst gay men aren’t caused by the inheritance of disastrous female beauty standards by a gay male community struggling against the sexism that characterizes such men as “might as well be women”. And new HIV infections (which are actually down amongst the gay community most targeted by safe sex practices) aren’t at all caused by internalized homophobia in african-american and latino populations, causing gay men to be on the “down-low” and engage in risky sex in order to protect a rep for being straight.

You’d think Robert might especially note that latter, considering this quote from his magnum failus:

I call myself bisexual because it would take several novels to explain how I ended up “straight” after almost thirty years as a gay man. I don’t feel like dealing with gay activists skewering me the way they go on search-and-destroy missions against ex-gays, “closet cases,” or “homocons.”

Suggests a rather personal current experience with said culture.

Are any of these real emergencies going to be solved by legalizing gay marriage?

Solved? Well, no, but-

Wait — before you take too long to deliberate about it, I’ll cut to the answer: no.

Hello, I was in the middle of something. Ugh. So rude!

As I was saying, no, but said issues are directly exasperated by giant cultural icons like marriage inequality. A queer youth who sees they are less than by the very directly less than way hir romantic desires or self-identifications are treated, is more likely to give into despair. Full marriage equality is an important step in being able to convince youths that their lives are no less valuable for being queer.

So, yes, Roberto de los Fuckstains, it’s pretty fucking important for those issues to have full marriage equality.

On the magical day, some time in 2015 or so, when gay marriage is legalized throughout the United States (it will happen, believe me), none of those problems will be significantly alleviated by the “right” to marry. In fact, many of them may worsen

Okay, I’ve let this one slide way too damn long.

As much as Robbie the Robot here would like to pretend that Dan Savagerommel and Wayne Beseichmann are monomaniacal marriage warriors on a single-minded campaign, it’s kind of disproven by said “generals'” own actions.

Dan Savage is most known for his anti-bullying and self-esteem campaign designed for helping young queer youths fight against suicide and depression. Wayne Besen has spent his life countering ex-gay propaganda designed to prey on the self-loathing in young queers. They are the very model of activists putting issues of suicide and depression above marriage equality.

And one of the big successes of the LGBT movement as a whole is that they try and resist attempts to make the movement about one issue to the expense of all others. Marriage Equality is important yeah, but a simple glance at Pride will show the LGBT movement focusing on issues of queer employment rights, violence against trans people, visibility for minority sexualities, anti-bullying initiatives, etc…

But even if we were to buy this fictional world where gays only cared about marriage equality, we’d still run into one giant problem.

Who else is fighting on these issues? Who besides the queer rights community and some allied organizations is fighting for the continued existence of queer youth shelters, lowered instances of queer youth suicides, etc…?

And who is “making things worse” while the gay rights movement is supposedly out picking wedding bouquets and forgetting their roots?

Seems rather passive to cut out the people actively working to make queer youth feel their only options are a lie or the early release of the grave. I don’t know why you are being so cagey here. I’m sure your fine allies at American Thinker would appreciate being highlighted for all their effort on behalf of “showing those queers the difference between right and wrong”. They certainly were all over turning Chick-fil-A Day into a national holiday and protesting the “Day of Silence” as anti-Christian.

It’s almost like something about your self-identification makes you wary of jumping wholesale in with your ideological allies, you self-loathing insecure fucknozzle!

, precisely because so much energy and money was diverted to fighting for gay marriage over civil unions, when a lot of the community’s most vulnerable members do not end up in couples.

The gay couples who got hospital visitation rights under civil unions will have the same hospital visitation rights under marriage.

Cause if having to have an extra fight just to secure a basic right automatically granted by marriage isn’t proof they are equal institutions, I don’t know what is.

Heck, I don’t know why gays aren’t all over this. All those extra fights must be like 10,000 times more frustrating and difficult than the bloody war against traditional marriage and thus allows Dan Savage way more relative camp resources than some boring old marriage battle.

The word “marriage” will be like the seventy pounds I lost in 2007. After being fat for years, I thought I’d be happy if only I were skinny. As it turned out, I had all the same problems, only now I was hungry.

That’s right, marriage is just like a dieting fad.

But remember, it’s the meanie liberals and queers who are trying to make a mockery of the hallowed institution of marriage.

That’s how those wedding photos and marriage certificates will feel for gay couples. After a few weeks, like the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the victory will be easily forgotten, and the people who weren’t helped by the “right” to marry nonexistent partners or the “right” to be stuck in the military will be quickly neglected.

I suppose that’s true. Queers are not overly grateful after they have finally won a difficult battle against hostile forces for a right that should have been granted decades ago. Like when they won the right to teach in schools without being fired for their orientation.

These days, queer teachers act no differently about the job than straight teachers, just working to become better teachers often forgetting how much of a fight it was just to get there.

Because that’s what happens when you win. People try and pretend to forget why they fought against it and find some new activity by the minority group to obsess about. And minorities affected by the victory see it simply as the new normal. It doesn’t always occur to them that there was a battle, because why would there be? It’d be stupid to think that women couldn’t read, blacks couldn’t be allowed to own property, and so on.

Also, is it just me or is your main objection to this, “It wouldn’t affect me, so therefore it’s meaningless”? Cause if so, I might start to wonder if the writer is a bit narcissistic.

Which brings me to me. To paraphrase Thoreau, I am sorry to speak so much on the topic of me, but it’s the topic I know the most about.

Phew!

That’s that one averted!

Since I was a toddler, I have been stuck with all sorts of Gay Questions. You see, I have no memories of my biological father being around my house. My earliest memories are of my mother and her best friend, who I eventually discovered was her female romantic partner. They raised me together through all of my childhood and adolescence. My mother died when I was nineteen.

This is the beginning of Robert Lopez’s one and only shtick. Blaming his self-loathing train-wreck of a life on his two mommies, and therefore on all gay parents everywhere.

See, he’s only a gay drama queen and stereotype because he never had a daddy to beat him up for being such a fag.

Acknowledgment that said father seems to be a deadbeat considering there’s no mention of visitation or child support? Self-awareness that even with two mommies, he refers to their relationship in the most clinically dead and unromantic method possible to rob it of any meaning thus demonstrating the importance of marriage equality? They don’t relate to HIM HIM HIM and thus are unimportant.

It may please today’s gay activists to know that then, in 1990, my mother’s partner was able to be by my mother’s bedside.

See, his mom’s girlfriend was totally allowed to be by her bedside, so all those fags complaining about being barred from their loved ones’ sides must be lying.

No mention is made about whether the partner had to lie and claim to be a close friend just to be by her partner’s side as she was dying, hiding her affections as she had to from her partner’s egomaniacal son because of the way gay relationships were treated back then.

And no mention is even made about how said partner had no real way to continue her lover’s parenting duties and care for a son who needed critical guidance before he became an unlovable douche with an abandonment complex and a tendency to try and run away from his problems.

Cause see, if it didn’t happen to him personally, who the fuck cares unless it can be used as a weapon against people just like said parents.

What a charming young man they have raised.

Yet there has never been peace between me and the gay community. In the 1970s and 1980s, I was raised by two women, both of whom I credit for doing a great job in a rather intolerant era.

And yet they raised a egotistical coward who has pledged his life in service to bigots because he was scared of facing a tenth of the hardship they did.

Somehow I doubt said parents would agree with his assessment.

But it was hard on me, and I have never been hesitant to share my experience truthfully. I suffered from not having contact with my father and lacking a male role model. Period.

One effect of the difficulties was that I dropped out of college and sought parenting from troublesome people.

Yes, it was totally your mommies fault that you dropped out of college and became just another silver fox obsessed self-hating gay conservative looking for a leather daddy who could make it all better.

Personal responsibility, thy name is conservative.

In the 1990s, I watched many gay men who had become surrogate father and surrogate mother figures to me die. One by one, repeating the tragedy of my mother, they disappeared. They were all alone except, in many cases, for me. The gay community treated them with shame even as they were the only sense of family I thought I’d have left.

So, let’s see here. The queer community took you in during your long dark angst of your early 20s, but they had the unforgivable GALL to die on you like your mommy did, so really it’s THEIR fault you tried to burn the community to the ground on your way out.

And their rejection of you had nothing to do with your self-hatred of your homosexual attractions or penchant for blaming everything you don’t like about your life on the queer people who tried to reach out to you.

In my late twenties, I finally lost my virginity to the woman who would bear me a child and become my wife. So bingo, I was suddenly “bisexual.” (My wife knows everything, and I do not plan on hiding my past.) I realized soon enough that bisexuals aren’t very popular among the gays. “You’re lying,” “you’re a wacko ex-gay,” and “those pictures are going to destroy you!” were all subtle ways of gay friends telling me they weren’t going to invite me to parties anymore.

Absolutely nothing.

Saying “your lying self-denial and cowardice in dealing with how your religious poisoning has forced you to deny yourself and the way you abuse the real orientation of bisexual to try and mask your ex-gay allegiances sickens me to my core and I wish you’d stop using the legitimate tragedy of your mom’s forced closet to try and excuse your homophobic bigotry” is just the way gay people say “hey, girlfriend, you ain’t allowed to come to the party. Fierce!”

There’s more, but I’ll stop with the autobiography there.

Yes, revealing more might make it apparent to even the most brain-damaged of American Thinker readers that your claim to have been rejected by the queer community unfairly is at best a slanderous lie. Heck, might even make the whole sickening “hey, my ex-gay shtick is fresh and new because I am willing to exploit the label of bisexual to sell it” so apparent that even the professional homophobe crowd find themselves involuntarily wretching and uncertain why.

The point is this: if gay marriage is a solution without a problem, I am the gay community’s problem without a solution. I don’t fit any of their narratives.

That’s rather impressive, because the queer community has a fucking infinite spectrum of “narratives” to fit into. Gender fluid asexuals into B&D kink scenes and are omniromantic. The various spectrums of boi. Suburban butch/femme soccer moms aping “traditional roles” with less of the baggage. Fluberts looking for shlinks into gatso play. And so on and so forth.

Especially strange as I’m pretty sure “self-hating ex-gay hiding from his identity and using religion to blame personal issues of adolescence on TEH QUEERS” is definitely in the narrative bin. Right next to “completely heterosexual homophobe who just so happens to like getting his luggage lifted” and “CLOSET CASE”.

Through no fault of my own, I explode every one of their myths

WOW! Every myth?!?

What could that even be?

Someone whose sexuality really did change on a fundamental physiological level rather than the usual experiential one? Someone who lacked an internal sex, but was biologically wired with social gender stereotypes? Proof of a legitimate fourth “biological sex” beyond male, female, and intersex?

This could be amazing. Surely, it’ll have to dwarf even the impressive list of self-descriptors I’ve had to use to describe myself.

I have to admit, I’m legitimately curious, it could change the face of Queer Studies for-

, from the narrative of idyllic same-sex couple parenting to the supposed fabulousness of post-Stonewall New York to the insistence that gay people are born a certain way and sexual orientation can never change.

…

(put curiosity bandana (NOT A HAT) away)

I see…

Should I even dignify this weak sauce with a response?

It’d be bad enough with just standard ex-gay lie 218 stapled there at the end if it didn’t come with two letters from a Broadway Musical. Cause that’s the only place I can think of that could remotely be accused of depicting gay relationships and parenting as flawless and never troubled by the same issues facing straight parents or thinking that gay lives have been issue free since the days of Stonewall.

I feel like walking around with a sign on my chest saying, “Dear Gays, Please Forgive Me For Existing.” Their instinct would be to do what they usually do, which is ignore me. Anyway, I am conservative. That makes me Satan.

Sorry to disrupt the bad ass fantasy Rambo McQueen von James Dean, but I’m sorry.

You chickened out.

You’re a cowardly, yellow-belly, gutless, lily-livered invertebrate lacking the intestinal fortitude and courage Bob, Guardian of Stuff, gave field mice.

I know you feel shame about that and want to hide your courage fail as some sort of principled stand against an uncaring majority, weathering their sticks and stones like a martyr.

But I’m sorry, we’re not friends. It’s not my job to put a band-aid on your mistakes and kiss your fuck ups. You had a choice. You could accept who you were and deal with a world a fraction as hostile as the one your mother faced or you could run screaming back into the closet, bolting the door behind you and hiding behind a lie that sexual orientation can change.

You chose the latter. Oh boy, did you choose the latter, and now you want all of us to hug you close and feed your delusion just because running into the conformist arms of the closet didn’t fully protect you from people criticizing your life choices?

Sorry, but no. Go straight to Fail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. You made this bed and you can damn well sleep in it next to the woman you are totally “bisexual” for.

So then, we get to August 6, the day the atomic bomb was dropped over Hiroshima in 1945, and the day, in 2012, that I published an essay in Public Discourse entitled “Growing Up with Two Moms.”

Yes, a sad self-hating post by someone without even the courage to identify fully as the ex-gay closet case he is is definitely equivalent to an act of mass murder that is credited with ending the Second World War.

Truly with proof that one egotistical kid managed to be a right-wing self-hating fuck despite having gay parents, the gay marriage debate is once and finally settled in favor of Team Homophobe.

Your ignoble “sacrifice” has stumbled onto its truest meaning. The forgotten statues to old gay generals shall disappear into the sands. Truly it will go down in history as the most powerful and courageous political act ever in the history of the World.

It was a simple 2,000-word essay defending a study by Texas sociologist Mark Regnerus.

Oh don’t be modest now. Trumpet your accomplishments to the Heavens so that the angels may sing of your cowardly bravery!

Mark Regnerus’s study found that children of gay or bisexual parents had greater difficulties than children of intact biological families with a mother and father. The gay blogosphere had gone mad, accusing Regnerus of being an anti-gay pig and distorting sociological data. After 59 studies, all forming a scholarly “consensus” that same-sex couples posed no disadvantages for children, Regnerus gave up consensus for the truth.

That’s not how science works. There isn’t some magical perfect study that undoes every bit of data already collected. Even genuine “revolutions” like Einsteinian or Quantum physics didn’t “replace” Newtonian physics and its discoveries with “the truth”. It merely supplemented those discoveries with situations it hadn’t thought of. Newtonian physics work fine on Earth, but needed editing to work in space or during near light speeds or so on.

And yeah, that study…

It’s a mess. Half of it is cribbed bullshit designed to try and prove messed-up assertions from Scott Lively’s hate tome “The Pink Swastika”. The other half is the intervention of the author’s conscience undermining the bullshit points he was just making.

Like there’s a bit where he gets really close to trying to argue that lesbians are more likely to abuse their children. But he ends up backing off and noting that most of the incidents of child abuse he cherry picked were the result of the biological father who was divorced by the lesbian mother being studied.

Even as propaganda it is shit because it isn’t fully willing to shit-can the reputation of the author entirely into the wingnut welfare circuit. Which is really sad, because apparently NOM paid $785,000 for this pile of puke and who knows how much more to Robert to shitcan his reputation in support of it.

And on its own, it just has no scientific merit, because it is so clearly bought and paid propaganda once more trying to put a “scientific” gloss on Scott Lively and NOM’s hate frothings.

It’s mostly just pathetic.

And suddenly, I can see why Senor Lopez here felt such an emotional (in addition to financial) connection to the piece.

My defense expressed thoughts that undermined the legal penumbras involved in arguing for gay marriage under the 14th Amendment. Who cares? It was hard to be a kid growing up with gay parents — that’s all I know. I’m not a lawyer.

WHO CARES WHAT REALITY THINKS?!? IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! ME ME ME ME ME!

And apparently it’s entirely the fault of a pair of lesbians trying to do their best in the 70s and 80s that this empathy-less closet case had to deal with the reflected bigotry against his parents and found it distasteful.

That bully wouldn’t have beaten him up for being a fag with dyke parents if his mommy learned how to suck cock like she was supposed to.

Damnitt mommy, how dare you try and do something legitimately brave like be true to yourself?!? It’s like you didn’t even care how that would affect your clinically narcissistic son!

Since my article came out, I have been through far worse than I ever thought would happen. My job is at risk, and worst of all, my coworkers received an e-mail from a gay rights organization with the title “COMPLAINT AGAINST CSUN’S ROBERT LOPEZ: GAY BASHER.” Soon I got e-mails from administrators. People really investigate claims like this.

Gay basher?

What the heck has this movement come to?

MILD PUSHBACK IS EQUIVALENT TO HOLOCAUST ELEVENTYONE!

But yeah, this man is a complete and utter coward.

Being someone who is resented by society, treated as a non-existant but potentially demonic entity just because of the way I was born. Someone who belongs to one of the most targeted minorities on the planet for hate crimes and who is seen as too dangerous to pee in peace…

I just can’t even begin to relate to him. I have absolutely no respect for someone who denies himself, turns on his own kind just so he can save his own ass a little and then squeals like a stuck pig when the people he betrayed note his betrayal.

I mean, I can at least understand and empathize with ex-gays. Religious poisoning, cultural messaging, I get it. Hell, I can even understand and have sympathy for quislings. Self hatred, perceived safety, the principle of sunk costs.

This?

Nothing. I mean, sure, I can “understand” it on an intellectual level, but emotionally? I just have no fucks to give. It’s just that alien to me.

For God’s sake, I am a bisexual raised by a lesbian couple, who helped countless people dying of AIDS.

And as everyone knows, there is no such thing as internalized bigotry or members of a minority siding with those discriminating against them in order to achieve the “perceived safety” of being “one of the good ones”.

No kapos in the camps, no Concerned Women for America fighting against women’s equal rights, no Jews for Jesus, no self-hating black conservatives selling white resentment for a quick buck, no ex-gays, no Quisling, no Benedict Arnold. These things do not exist.

Sigh…

I wish these exiles from a better world would stop teasing us all with its awesomeness.

I’ve spent my life cleaning up the messes left by gay politics. I wrote an honest essay. That’s bashing?

Well, yes, but not because of a legitimately honest essay. Rather because you traded the supposed authority of an identify you claim only cynically to try and argue for the veracity of the talking points of a person who equates gay rights with nazism and has been instrumental in putting “final solution” laws into place in countries like Uganda.

Much like how “cleaning up the messes left by gay politics” takes on a decidedly bludgeoning quality when you note that the only thing it could be referring to is blaming “gay activism” for the existence of the AIDS crisis.

An action not only so ghoulish and victim-blaming, but directly ripped out of the pages of Scott Lively’s hate tome that I have a hard time believing you are not a sock puppet identity for that mass-murdering douchecanoe, much less that you have ever held anything akin to human emotions for those dying men you supposedly stood at the bedside to.

It is not just bashing. It is an unforgivable atrocity, which if there was any justice in this world would cut you off forever from your supply of Public Restroom dick.

Fuck, I’m willing to bet that’s the thing that makes you feel so much like a “Scorched Earth campaign” has been waged against you.

I’m actually curious to see how much worse you can get before we finally depart this attempt to forever associate “bisexual” with “pure evil”.

The gay marriage movement has finally crossed the line into insanity. They must burn their own villages to save them from their phantasmal bullies.

Anti-gay bullying is a fiction.

Sure, it’s evil, but you can do better.

All the real things that gays could do to improve their real problems are right before their eyes: be humane to one another, forgive others, care for their most needy, and most of all, pick their battles. Support pro-life politicians and adopt foster kids saved from abortion. Vote for Republicans who believe in school vouchers, get bullied gays into safer schools…

Ooh, vote for the Republicans who hate you, fight against even basic rights like protection from said bullying, and overall would like to die a horrible death for being such a fag.

Better, but still not ghoulish enough. C’mon, you can do better!

You may have been a failure with every other part of your life. Never having the courage to be honest, yet lacking the commitment to truly go Full Metal James Hartline.

But here, now, if you dig deep, you can move past passive-aggressive coded references to Scott Lively and ex-gay talking points claiming to be “an honest bisexual’s opinion” and truly stand for the worst humanity has to offer.

It wouldn’t be much, but it’d be something. A genuine risk for the first time in your life. You are so close Robert, I believe in-

But they choose not to. They have dedicated themselves to a scorched-earth campaign for gay marriage. And when that war is won, they will have conquered a wasteland. I wonder what Eliot would have to say.

Or not.

Yes, Roberto, I took Intro to British Lit too. And if I had to guess he’d probably say:

Twit twit twit
Jug jug jug jug jug jug
So rudely forc’d
Tereu

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Seriously? “The Wasteland” by T.S. Eliot? That’s really where you want to end it? All right… We are aware of all Internet traditions.™