26
Batshit Crazy Rises
ABOVE: Gina Miller (do you have to ask?)
Shorter Gina Miller, Ruhnoo Muhrka:
Mike Adams: Was Aurora Batman shooting a false flag operation?
- James Holmes was a covert FBI agent and was ordered by Obama to kill those people in the movie theatre in order to drum up support for a UN Treaty that will take away all our guns.
Fuck me. No, really. Fuck me with a splintery broomstick shard then wrap it in sandpaper and do it again. Fuck me because this shorter is completely accurate and I need something to purge Gina Miller’s nonsense completely from my mind.
You know, people joke about peak wingnut as if it were something that could never happen because there will always be something crazier, something more breathtakingly stupid that some slobbering troglodytic Adam Yoshiba wannabe will dream up. But this folks, this is it. This is peak wingnut. Nothing will surpass this. Not even if Robin of Berkeley arises from her long awaited and heartily welcomed coma to claim that Obama feasts on human flesh in the Oval Office while sodomizing baby seals and blonde-haired Cub Scouts.
Gina’s first piece of evidence that the FBI was behind the shooting is this:
[T]he accused shooter, 24-year-old James Holmes, is reportedly a shy, young man who acted completely out of character.
Right. Shy people never shoot people. You will have to excuse Gina. She has recently returned from a top secret twenty year space mission to the outer Oort cloud and hasn’t been able to read the newspaper or watch any news broadcasts while she was away.
I wondered the same thing when I heard that he told the police about his apartment being rigged with explosives. Why would he do that? Sudden remorse?
Well, you’ve got me there. If anything says I’m a covert FBI agent, that would be it. Actually, there must be a ton of secret FBI agents out there wreaking crime and havoc on the community what with all the confessions that people make when they actually get caught by the cops.
Now for the best evidence of all:
Then we have Holmes’ mother making headlines almost as soon as the shooting was reported, claiming that authorities “have the right person.” That in itself is bizarre. Why would she say something like that right off the bat, when others who know him say the massacre seems very out of character for him?
The first rule of FBI club (they teach this at Quantico): You tell your Mom everything that you do for the FBI. Second rule of FBI club: You tell your Mom she can talk about everything you do for the FBI.
You read the rest for yourselves. I have done enough damage to my own mental well-being for the afternoon.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Golem Heart said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:38
Then we have Holmes’ mother making headlines almost as soon as the shooting was reported, claiming that authorities “have the right person.” That in itself is bizarre. Why would she say something like that right off the bat, when others who know him say the massacre seems very out of character for him?
I assumed that Holmes’ mother meant “yes, I am that James Holmes’ mother,” something she could then know without foreknowledge of the crime.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:38
Everyone else is on the gymnasium floor shooting people and there they are, wallflowers waiting to be asked.
tigris said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:42
Dear Lord, how many crazy Mike Adams ARE there?
Why would she say something like that right off the bat, when others who know him say the massacre seems very out of character for him?
Surely these anonymous people know this “shy” and “introverted” guy’s character so much better than his mother.
Chris said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:43
[T]he accused shooter, 24-year-old James Holmes, is reportedly a shy, young man who acted completely out of character.
You’re reading from the records of every cop who’s ever had to interview the neighbors of a serial killer as they register their shock that the nice young man next door who helped them mow the lawn and take out the trash could possibly turn out to be a big meanie.
Golem Heart said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:44
“We may never know his motivation for that act of mass murder. Was it the act of a demon possessed lunatic with a twisted desire for “fame,” or was it the evil, clinical behavior of a man on an assigned mission?”–Gina Miller
She’s being reasonable, you see. His motivation could be either of the two.
It’s gonna be interesting watching the comments on this one.
tigris said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:45
And false flag? OMG MAYBE HE’S A CHRONONAUT TOO!!
kg said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:46
That’s some impressive guano right there.
Chris said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:49
“We may never know his motivation for that act of mass murder. Was it the act of a demon possessed lunatic with a twisted desire for “fame,” or was it the evil, clinical behavior of a man on an assigned mission?”–Gina Miller
I heard fundiegelicals after the Viriginia Tech shooting speculate that he might have been possessed by a demon, too. Same people who blamed Halloween and yoga for being a time when evil spirits could come and possess your body.
Golem Heart said,
July 26, 2012 at 22:54
In all fairness, Chris, people who do yoga on Halloween are particularly vulnerable to possession.
vacuumslayer said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:03
Is Gina Miller just a shy, crazy wingnut blogger or shy, crazy wingnut blogger who weighs 700 lbs., and sits around in her own filth thinking up ever more bizarre conspiracy theories and watching scat porn? We may never know.
wiley said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:03
I recently read an article by a psychologist cautioning people against interpreting the behavior of introverted persons as a form of mass murdering psychopathology, because almost all introverts are not mass murderers; yet a whole lot of mass murderers are introverts.
Tintin is an expert on wingnuttia, but I’m betting that maybe they can top this because it’s only July and the Republican candidate for President is not something they want to talk about unless they’re talking about something they think President Obama has said or done about or to IT.
I’d like to congratulate the lower echelons of wingnutville for the presidential candidate they’ve wrought. They kissed Wall Street’s ass long enough and this is what they got— a candidate that can’t even pretend to be like them— someone completely foreign to them who is clearly not on their side
Ha ha ha, bitches.
Major Kong said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:16
I’m surprised it took this long for the “It was all a plot by Obama to take our guns” conspiracy theory to come out.
gocart mozart said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:25
I think it was a plot by Romney to get his serial asshattery off the news. Sadly, Tintin seems to be a conspirator also. See: Last thread, end of
gocart mozart said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:27
Agenda 21 meets Plan 9 From Outer Space.
bbkf said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:30
It’s gonna be interesting watching the comments on this one.
some highlights:
funneh:
in reply to somebody called wxrgina:
more funneh:
bbkf said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:34
Is Gina Miller just a shy, crazy wingnut blogger or shy, crazy wingnut blogger who weighs 700 lbs., and sits around in her own filth thinking up ever more bizarre conspiracy theories and watching scat porn? We may never know.
what is with that far-away gaziness in her eyes? call me weird, but truly, sometimes i find nothing more delightful than looking at the roster of crazies over at ruhnoo murka…that sidebar just tickles my fancy every time…
Golem Heart said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:34
I think it was a plot by Romney to get his serial asshattery off the news.
Come now, Romney is breathing and remains in Britain, he’ll make more unforced gaffes before heading to Israel.
vacuumslayer said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:35
BWAHAHAHA!
vacuumslayer said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:36
Wake up, sheeple! James was just a decoy…the real shooter was Gina Miller! You can just tell by her photo!
gocart mozart said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:37
http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/outsourcing_mitt/
Video of crowd of 60,000 people cheering Mayor of London’s dissing of Rmoney.
gocart mozart said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:40
“he’ll make more unforced gaffes before heading to Israel.”
What’s the over/under on him making a joke about the Israel PM being a very frugal shopper?
Substance McGravitas said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:47
Where did this grad student get that kind of advanced knowledge? BIGFOOT.
bbkf said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:51
frugalshopperbigfoot isreal?
Substance McGravitas said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:52
Mike Adams rap. Don’t get vaccinated kids!
tigris said,
July 26, 2012 at 23:52
Where did this kid get that kind of advanced knowledge? You Tube videos or eHow? I doubt it.
If it’s not on the youtubes or the eHow it is not online.
El Cid said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:06
If it was very well known how “in character” it was for someone to walk into a public gathering place wearing body armor etc and carrying multiple firearms and enormous amounts of ammunition (and having rigged his apartment with explosives and the like), wouldn’t that logically imply that this person had already done such a thing?
My guess would be that the type of person who already had established his tendencies to enter large public venues and shoot dozens and dozens of people and kill tens of people while attempting to blow up his neighbors and responding cops by having done so before would likely already have been caught for this.
I don’t think you’ll have the situation where you find “Oh, ain’t that just like James, to go in some theater and shoot off as many rounds of ammunition he can manage in order to kill dozens of people if he can, with died hair and body armor and his apartment done rigged to blow up” can be said of someone more than, say, once.
Do we have different sample sizes of this?
Among the population of mass-public-shooting-Americans, how many of them have engaged in a mass public shooting more than once while their identity was known?
If their identity isn’t known, then it isn’t the same thing, because then the mass public shooter is unidentified and you can’t say “oh, yah, that’s in his character”, because you don’t know who did it.
And if their identity is known, in what scenario is this person still free to prepare for the next mass shooting while people speculate on whether or not it’s in character for him to perform another mass public shooting?
Eustace P. McGargle said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:11
Sorry, there is NO reason to postulate a limit to wingnuttery!!!
Nym said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:13
Why would he do that? Sudden remorse?
Steve Sandwichfuckin’ Jones had a better explanation on last Sunday’s episode of Jonesy’s Jukebox: remember that Holmes had left loud music on, seemingly in the hopes of getting a neighbor to open a door and set something off.
Then consider how Anders Brevik deliberately set off explosions in Oslo to keep the police busy while he went shooting kids at Utøya island.
That Girl said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:17
Remember when you had to RESPECT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT AND FUCK YOU DIXIE CHICKS?
Those were the days.
M. Bouffant said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:19
Oh what fun, one may comment w/ the Effbook at Retard America now.
tsam said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:22
Remember when you had to RESPECT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT AND FUCK YOU DIXIE CHICKS?
Clearly you have no idea what the difference between a Connecticut Cowboy and a Chicago N*****r is.
That Girl said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:24
Gotta love that Ms Miller is moralizing and quoting the bible in the comments after she just baselessly accused the President of murdering several innocent Americans and/or used the tragedy to score political points.
Cole said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:24
Okay…I’ll get plenty of shit for saying this, but…
They are peasants. Pure and simple. Despite historical access to knowledge and opportunity to participate meaningfully in shaping society for the better, the vast majority of humanity still wallows in ignorance, fear, and superstition.
I am beginning to suspect that it is physiological.
The aristocrat class; the fascists; the authoritarians–all these right-wing types understand this and manipulate the peasants as naturally as breathing.
Progressives, unfortunately, cannot see that most humans are simply not evolved enough to understand, much less participate, in democracy. I count myself in this naive group, but I am growing more cynical by the day. While I will never be able to bring myself to really believe that these folks NEED to be led by the nose, I think I am beginning to see the futility of treating them as if they were anything but medieval peasants.
Perhaps I am just tired and disgusted.
Anonymous said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:28
@tsam
The level of stretching they need to explain why they don’t like him (he said AK-47, which means that he is on the side of the terrorists! — Joel Pollak) is why we think they’re racist.
tsam said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:28
Okay…I’ll get plenty of shit for saying this, but…
You’ll get no shit for saying what we all know is true. The hows and whys are a mystery to me, but it seems pretty clear that people like this are stuck that way, like that face I made when I was a kid and found out my mother was right.
tsam said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:30
The level of stretching they need to explain why they don’t like him (he said AK-47, which means that he is on the side of the terrorists! — Joel Pollak) is why we think they’re racist.
Hey! I’M the real racist! Not them.
That Girl said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:31
Well, those who dare to mention it are, of course, the real racists.
(Anon was me, btw.)
M. Bouffant said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:34
Or, in the the case of wxrgina (Who is doubtless the Gina who typed the column in the first place.) you can sign on via AOL.
Mat said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:34
John Wayne Gacy’s neighbors thought he was such a nice man and were shocked–SHOCKED–that he was a psychopathic serial killer.
Maybe Gacy was a MK-ULTRA secret agent man out to kill teh gheys for Uncle Sam, Mom, apple pie, and Ammmmmrrrica.
D Johnston Never Ceases to be Amazed said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:40
I was wondering how far this conspiracy theory would drift. Renew America is a nut site, but it’s a lot less fringe than the places where they’ve been floating this thing.
It’s an interesting example of crank migration. This theory is very Truther-like, even using the same sources and the same lingo. Six years ago – when Alex Jones was distributing DVDs of his documentary in New York City – the existence of lunacy like this was proof that THE LEFT WAS CRAZY! Then the black guy gets into office, and suddenly Jones et al go from left-wing lunatics to clear-eyed prophets. No one even acknowledges that the change took place. We have always been at war with Eurasia.
Incidentally, I’m not sure what to make of conservative nutjobs embracing the Other Mike Adams. What’s the right-wing line on alties, anyway? I always figured they hated alt-med since it’s associated with hippies and New Age types, but then again there are plenty of survivalist types who swear by it. Plus, a lot of alties talk like objectivists anyway, what with the complaints about regulations and all.
D Johnston said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:46
Speaking of crank migration, there’s a guy in the comments over there (and don’t you love that nut sites have comments now?) who claims that the World Trade Center was built as part of a sting operation.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:55
There’s a sweet spot in the crazysphere where the hippies meet the black helicopter people.
I LOVE COAST-TO-COAST AM!
Cerberus said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:07
Nice! I was actually thinking about taking this one on myself, because it was so nucking futz.
Apparently this run of conspiratorial insanity is thanks to good ol’ Alex Jones who first had the brain fart that his minions have been running all over the net trumpeting as true.
You might remember Alex Jones either from his run as 9/11 Truther and Birther or from the bonus shorter on this post where he claimed that Breitbart was assassinated by Obama for knowing too much.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:11
I am waiting for this when Jonah dies.
Golem Heart said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:24
Back to Romney. Here’s a quote from his book No Apology: the Case for American Greatness that he’s getting hammered for …
England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions. Yet only two lifetimes ago, Britain ruled the largest and wealthiest empire in the history of humankind. Britain controlled a quarter of the earth’s land and a quarter of the earth’s population.
I got the idea to poke around in the Google Books text to see what else Romney had to say about England. For example, would Romney of Bain mention that London is not only vast and quintessentially metropolitan but (with New York) the financial center of the world, something you’d think Mitt would appreciate? No … because the book is a collection of shallow, trite conservative themes spun out into staggeringly dull prose. This is a guy so soulless that he actually did write a book around the idea that Obama apologizes for America. Not just a talking point with no basis in fact, but a shitty one at that, takes the place of a central vision. I imagine some lowbrow types might find his ponderings on the economy and the national character compelling, but I say again, look at this visionary’s organizing theme. Not national greatness — weak jingoist pablum masquerading as hard-headedness, animated (if at all) by stringing out a false, petty slur made at the sitting president.
God I hate this guy.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:30
he claimed that Breitbart was assassinated by Obama for knowing too much
I am waiting for this when Jonah dies.
If knowing things is what makes you die, Jonah is immortal.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:33
This lady’s bio identifies her as “a radio/television voice professional.” I’m fascinated by what that could possibly mean.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:34
Okay…I’ll get plenty of shit for saying this, but…
They are peasants. Pure and simple.
Cole – No shit from me in general, as I agree with your analysis. My only comment: my great-grandparents were peasants. I’m not because they dreamt of something better for their kids. Being a peasant is only a mental prison if you’re incapable of distinguishing your fate from your liege lord’s.
Just Alison, who can't go on a mass murder spree because (a) she doesn't have a gun, and (b) she's not an introvert said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:41
El Cid said,
July 27, 2012 at 0:06
I love you and want to have your baby. That’s all.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:44
In all fairness, Chris, people who do yoga on Halloween are particularly vulnerable to possession.
I’d sure like to possess one of these Halloween yoga girls of which you speak.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 27, 2012 at 1:47
I am waiting for this when Jonah dies.
Jonah will be targeted in a false bag operation, involving polonium-tainted Cheetos.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:02
I love you and want to have your baby.
IT’S A COOKBOOK!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:02
claim that Obama feasts on human flesh in the Oval Office while sodomizing baby seals and blonde-haired Cub Scouts.
I am almost certain that one’s been done too.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:03
I’m surprised it took this long for the “It was all a plot by Obama to take our guns” conspiracy theory to come out.
I don’t think it ever went away.
Whale Chowder said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:06
Breitbart was assassinated by Obama for knowing too much
BAHAHAHAHA, who ever would have guessed that the name Breitbart and the phrase “knowing too much” would appear in the same sentence?
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:11
For the christians among us, Velocirapture: http://www.tuaw.com/2012/07/26/daily-iphone-app-velocirapture-has-you-saving-and-smiting-dinos/
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:11
What’s the over/under on him making a joke about the Israel PM being a very frugal shopper?
I’m going to take the wager that he says “Lemon. Wet. Good.” It’s a long shot, but at 7000 to 1, if it hits it will make me rich!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:14
You Tube videos or eHow? I doubt it.
Where did this grad student get that kind of advanced knowledge? BIGFOOT.
I have a good friend whose parents did not let him watch TV. So he went to the library, learned how to mix explosives and make IEDs. His test bed was the garage roof outside his bedroom window. The culmination was launching a neighbor’s mailbox 100 feet into the air.
Obviously, the solution is to ban libraries.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:20
God I hate this guy.
I get the impression he’s not very fond of us, either.
Smut Clyde said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:30
What’s the over/under on him making a joke about the Israel PM being a very frugal shopper?
Over LGM, Malaclypse notes
Something about the Lost Tribes is equally devoutly to be wished for.
Major Kong said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:42
Obviously, the solution is to
bandefund libraries.I think they’re already working on that.
Snorghagen said,
July 27, 2012 at 2:59
Gina writes real gud!!!
Why, yes, they do.
S. cerevisiae said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:06
I still blame the demons, particularly the MAILER-DEMON.
bbkf and anyone interested I have some Moondance Jam photos here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuspics_11/sets/72157630768109838/
Anonymous said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:15
countless questions abound.
Give me some ground
Where the questions abound
And the riddles and enigmas play…
Snorghagen said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:19
The Aurora operation was carried out by the FBI’s elite squad of demon agents.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:20
Oh, I’m back? Yeah.
Buy. A. Fucking. Honda. What were you even thinking in the first place using that Kymco crap?
Eh… Kymco had a decent reputation at the time. I now know that PGO (in the U.S., Genuine) is the Taiwanese brand to trust. Not only do they stand behind the products (and I suspect that’s because of Genuine’s people, like CEO Philip McCaleb, who’s definitely a scooterphile), they treat even the small dealers more than fairly, AND they pay for the warranty work (which Kymco did NOT… bastiges).
After working in a dealer’s shop for a while, I decided that Bad Penny was my final Kymco. I just love that I have one of the top Google destinations for them. :)
.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:25
… and let’s be realistic: When Bad Penny was running, she ran like a sewing machine. Carried me from Nashville to Poplar Bluff, MO, last year, and back. No real issues between head gaskets, heh.
.
Snorghagen said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:27
It means that she’s paid money for providing some unspecified service, that she listens to the radio and watches television, and that she can speak.
Major Kong said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:35
Buy. A. Fucking. Honda.
The last motorcycle I owned was a Honda Nighthawk S (700 cc) back in the mid 1980s.
It was a pretty nice bike at the time and very reliable. One day I came within inches of “Death by Buick” and sold the bike not too long after.
tigris said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:37
Maybe she’s the AFLAC duck voice?
Chris said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:47
Progressives, unfortunately, cannot see that most humans are simply not evolved enough to understand, much less participate, in democracy.
And whenever I hit that point in my thinking, that’s where I break out the Churchill quote about democracy. (No, the other one). It’s not perfect. The more I grow up the more I think it’s not even good. It’s just what we’ve got.
The problem with every alternative to representative government (other than anarchy I suppose) is the idea that there’s a way to create a governing class that 1) understands the issues and how to solve them any better than the average person, 2) is any more interested than the average person in actually solving said issues rather than using government for their own profit, and 3) doesn’t eventually result in a violent backlash from the average person due to the disconnect between the two groups.
Major Kong said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:56
After my plans for world domination come to fruition all will prosper under my benevolent leadership.
Chris said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:56
Oh by the way – is that John Cole, from Balloon Juice? Just wondering.
Chris said,
July 27, 2012 at 3:59
Well of course, Kong. But you’re one of a kind! Whatever do we do after you’re gone?
tigris said,
July 27, 2012 at 4:02
better than democracy?
S. cerevisiae said,
July 27, 2012 at 4:23
Vote for beer yeast! We eat sugar and piss ethanol and make the world a better place. Fuck the deficit, lets all get sloshed.
All Night Party 2012!!!
S. cerevisiae said,
July 27, 2012 at 4:27
Major would make a great benevolent overlord. There would be good food, drink, and tunes plus he could put cool flight simulators all over the country.
Gordon, the Big Express Engine said,
July 27, 2012 at 4:30
This could be the craziest thing we will see, but it would not be peak wingnut. If you are drawing an analogy to peak oil, then peak wingnut will the point at which the production volume of wingnuttia is at its greatest level, where total output of crazy can go no higher.
My prediction for this will be sometime in October before the election. But as with peak oil where production can stay at the peak level for quite some before declines kick in, peak wingnut can (and will) persist for lengthy period of time, probably for much of Obama’s second term.
Spengler Dampniche said,
July 27, 2012 at 4:40
Wolverines?
Bitter Scribe said,
July 27, 2012 at 4:41
This lady’s bio identifies her as “a radio/television voice professional.” I’m fascinated by what that could possibly mean.
It means that she’s paid money for providing some unspecified service, that she listens to the radio and watches television, and that she can speak.
I thought it might mean they hired her to clean the DJ’s bathroom at KPIT, the 200-watt Christian rock station in Bumfuck, Iowa.
jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
July 27, 2012 at 5:20
Yes, surely there’s no way a mere neuroscience Ph.D. undergrad could, say, systematically build up an arsenal & sundry chaos-warez over time, simultaneously planning his dastardly deeds down to the last detail. Unpossibleness! IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB SHEEPLE.
Note that the oxygen for this batshittery is the FBI’s long legacy of propping up nasty people or even actively aiding them to blow shit up real good. Also that, despite what you might think, insecure/paranoid people ask a lot FEWER useful questions about what’s going on behind closed doors in matters of state.
Okay…I’ll get plenty of shit for saying this, but…
They are peasants. Pure and simple. Despite historical access to knowledge and opportunity to participate meaningfully in shaping society for the better, the vast majority of humanity still wallows in ignorance, fear, and superstition.
I am beginning to suspect that it is physiological.
Television + HFCS + aspartame + trace metals = no use thinkbox no good any more.
Then there’s that whole dodging responsibility thing. Feels gooooooood man.
Six years ago – when Alex Jones was distributing DVDs of his documentary in New York City – the existence of lunacy like this was proof that THE LEFT WAS CRAZY! Then the black guy gets into office, and suddenly Jones et al go from left-wing lunatics to clear-eyed prophets. No one even acknowledges that the change took place. We have always been at war with Eurasia.
A thesis is floating about the Interwebs that posits that Jones & his fellow DVD-pimps are in reality a FBI/CIA psyop whose predicate is discrediting any citizens who advocate for an open & independant investigation of 9/11.
A similar theory concerning skinhead-friendly hate-jock Hal Turner was seen as pure Tinfoil Sombrero material … right up until the day Turner outed himself as an FBI informant. OOOOPS.
By Jones’ own standards, it is surely highly suspicious that someone so “aware” of the NWO’s evil plots – & so perpetually loquacious about their innermost workings – miraculously remains fit as a fiddle more than a decade after 9/11, even though the ability of the CIA to simulate death by natural causes is common knowledge by now (an ability, by the way, of which they themselves have openly boasted). I suspect Jones has not the slightest qualm about dining out or going on a camping trip because he knows damn well he’s in zero real danger (other than from one of his more bugfuck-crazy fanboys).
It’s worth it to check out Jones’ radio show if you haven’t yet done so – the first thing you notice is that close to half the bloody show is ads, ads, & MOAR ads. Makes one wonder: what kind of person sees everything going to hell & decides that the best course of action in response to this impending horrorshow is “IMA GONNA GET ME A WEBSITE & A RADIO SHOW SO I CAN MONETIZE THAT BITCH TO THE HILT”?
That slide-toward-fascism dollar? That’s a really good dollar right there.
tensor said,
July 27, 2012 at 5:44
“This could be the craziest thing we will see, but it would not be peak wingnut.”
Peak Wingnut cannot be achieved, because Peak Wingnut is always being achieved. There has *always* been a vein of reactionary nuttiness in American politics, waiting for a Dear Leader to order them. They listened to Father Coughlin then, they listen to Father Oxycontin now. They never asked why Joe McCarthy never exposed a single Communist; they never asked why St. Ronnie never signed a balanced budget. Their angry certainty, that they are the Real American Patriots, and that we can never be, survives Major Kong’s DFC and W’s blatant cowardice, because facts — and the libs who traffic in them. — are the Real Enemy. Their response to problems caused by ramping up their crazy is to ramp up their crazy.
Blessed be the poor in sanity, for ye will always have them with ye. — Wingnut Gospel
Beer Yeast said,
July 27, 2012 at 6:01
Drink my pee.
Golgaronok said,
July 27, 2012 at 6:17
“responding law enforcement troops” *record scratch* “Troops”? She actually wrote this actual word? And she does realize that when people talk about the “militarization of law enforcement” they aren’t following it with “AND THAT’S A BAD THING” only because that should really go without saying?
No, of curse she doesn’t.
Pupienus said,
July 27, 2012 at 7:14
Paging Josh St. Lawrence!
tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,
July 27, 2012 at 7:35
nobody goes to the Oort cloud anymore
there are too many tourists and i keep getting asteroids in my pina colada
M. Bouffant said,
July 27, 2012 at 8:42
Maybe she’s the AFLAC duck voice?
Gilbert Gottfried libel!
M. Bouffant said,
July 27, 2012 at 8:55
Oh by the way – is that John Cole, from Balloon Juice? Just wondering.
Nah, he doesn’t leave the house much, but when he does he identifies hisse’f as John Cole. Just today he raked Mataconis over some coals.
Cartoonist John Cole isn’t John Cole either, but I s’pect you knew that already.
By the way, I left most of Golem Heart’s comment at 1:24 on that thread, as Romney’s book was under discussion.
Smut Clyde said,
July 27, 2012 at 10:38
Paging Pupienus!
paperbagmarlys said,
July 27, 2012 at 11:31
Got raw milk?
http://www.naturalnews.com/036611_James_Stewart_Bounty_Hunters_Ventura_county.html
Another Kiwi said,
July 27, 2012 at 11:33
Back in aught 8, when Mr. Kenyan usurper was getting all uppity and winning and such there was a brief mention on a political forum which I used to frequent, of a former aide of BHO’s who had “mysteriously” gone on holiday to Jamaica. It was pretty definite that she was preggers to the UberLord and was being swept under the rug. No evidence as to the existence of this person was ever provided and the story died but it was just before the election (like hours before).
That had stood, to me, as peak wingnut but I feel the current black flag theory may top it and here it is late in July. Well, that’s in New Zild, heaven only knows what order you have months in over there.
Cole said,
July 27, 2012 at 12:24
Chris, M.Bouffant is right…not John Cole of balloon juice.
Just a guy named Coleman (my visionary parents knew that in 40 odd years it would sound retro-cool, like Travis).
boconn13 said,
July 27, 2012 at 13:17
Sadly, this is a mere typo:
Fixed. It means she will say or do anything for money. Unless…does she do this for free???
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 13:44
Maybe she’s a vise professional and works in a dungeon.
Golem Heart said,
July 27, 2012 at 13:59
By the way, I left most of Golem Heart’s comment at 1:24 on that thread, as Romney’s book was under discussion.
Kewl. Twas a bit ranty, but I suppose it’ll hold up in a different setting.
Major Kong said,
July 27, 2012 at 14:11
Maybe she’s a vise professional and works in a dungeon.
Doubtful. The ones I’ve met were actually very nice people.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 14:15
Do tell…
My favorite new comic book character of recent years was a Dom who accidentally took a strength-and-speed enhancing drug. It made perfect sense: she was used to wearing ridiculous clothing, knew how to inflict pain, and had a strong sense of self. All useful traits in the superhero biz.
Major Kong said,
July 27, 2012 at 14:21
Hey, it’s a sick world and I’m a happy man.
bbkf said,
July 27, 2012 at 14:54
bbkf and anyone interested I have some Moondance Jam photos here
o.m.g! night ranger!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
July 27, 2012 at 15:01
@BachmannsBrain Mitt Romney retroactively cancels visit to London. #RomneyShambles
https://twitter.com/BachmannsBrain
smedley said,
July 27, 2012 at 16:42
“Maybe she’s a vise professional and works in a dungeon.”
Maybe she’s a vice principal. You do not fuck with a vice principal.
Thread Bear said,
July 27, 2012 at 16:53
Major would make a great benevolent overlord. There would be good food, drink, and tunes plus he could put cool flight simulators all over the country.
All I can envision is Air Force One packed with crates of chickens.
Helmut Monotreme said,
July 27, 2012 at 16:56
And an inspiring vision it is too! I hear “America the Beautiful” playing in my head while I picture the scene, as our benevolent overlord brings chickeny goodness to all non vegetarian Americans.
smedley said,
July 27, 2012 at 17:07
“All I can envision is Air Force One packed with crates of chickens.”
Well, Gonzo would be happy. And then he would be sad.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 17:20
All I can envision is Air Force One packed with crates of chickens.
Who the Major chooses to share his dungeon with is none of our concern.
Whale Chowder said,
July 27, 2012 at 17:22
All I can envision is Air Force One packed with crates of chickens.
I’m picturing a Marine (Air Force?) pilot forced to sit in the passenger cabin while the Major takes AF1 for a little spin.
eataTREE said,
July 27, 2012 at 17:38
Regardless of which Cole you are, as of recent years I’ve been sharing your grave doubts about the sustainability of democracy and self-government. People are not born rational critical thinkers; they must be carefully taught to avoid “ignorance, fear, and superstition”. We Americans spent the past thirty years demolishing all the societal infrastructure that enlightened and informed people (education, unions, local social structures generally) and now our capacity for effective self-government is highly questionable. Of course, as several pointed out already, autocracy is worse.
Sometimes I honestly think that we need to construct God in the form of an incredibly powerful and advanced computer to rule us. Because we tried “rule by some people” and “rule by all people” and neither has worked; maybe “rule by machine” would be better.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 17:41
Sometimes I honestly think that we need to construct God in the form of an incredibly powerful and advanced computer to rule us.
Guide me, Landru!
Whale Chowder said,
July 27, 2012 at 17:57
maybe “rule by machine” would be better.
Related.
Major Kong said,
July 27, 2012 at 18:22
I’m picturing a Marine (Air Force?) pilot forced to sit in the passenger cabin while the Major takes AF1 for a little spin.
AF1 is flown by Air Force pilots from the 89th Airlift Wing at Andrews. The Presidential helicopter “Marine 1″ is flown by, you guessed it, Marines.
Helmut Monotreme said,
July 27, 2012 at 18:35
The secret Presidential space shuttle is piloted by Air Force and NASA astronauts. The Presidential rowboat is rowed by the coastguard and Presidential Yacht is crewed and skippered by the Navy. The Presidential subterranean mole vehicle is operated by the MSHA. The Presidential tandem bicycle is pedaled by the President and the first lady, with the Secret Service filling in as needed. The Presidential semi (Good Buddy One) is operated by Burt Reynolds and an orangutang.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 18:40
Who operates the Presidential Vibrator?
creature said,
July 27, 2012 at 18:58
I got a FB high-school friend who forwarded me a ‘the Aurora killer had an accomplice, because you can’t kick a theater exit door open from the outside’ thing from some nut-case moron. I only maintain contact with the outside world to be entertained by its unending weirdness. This ‘radio voice’ (probably local voice-over for commercials) is playing of some serious Alex Jones lunacy. The more, the merrier! Just think how many overdrives it will go into once The Kenyan!!! wins in November.
Nixon's Head said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:03
Listen up you bunch of hippies. The level of sophistication involved with rigging the explosives in his apartment leads to the obvious conclusion that Holme’s is the mastermind gummit super agent behind bringing down the Twin Towers. It is so obvious that only Obama cool aid, with all its special Kenyan Muslim Voodoo herbs and spices, can blind you to the real true facts. We need a proper president, one that will speak to you using the truth and nothing but the truth.
Vote Nixon
Paid for by the Nixon For President of Earth & Texans Against Teaching Thinking in Our Schools Super Pac
smedley said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:06
Hey, Nixon’s Head. Is it true that you saw “Deep Throat” six times, but you still couldn’t get it down Pat?
Nixon's Head said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:15
Yes, That’s what we were discussing during the missing 18 minutes. Can’t release that, I says to the boys, Pat’ll kick my ass.
Vote Nixon
Paid for by the Nixon For President of Earth & Texans Against Teaching Thinking in Our Schools Super Pac
Golem Heart said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:26
The Presidential semi (Good Buddy One) is operated by Burt Reynolds and an orangutang.
I am supremely confident in the Good Buddy One team, but anticipate a secret-service-in-South-America type kerfuffle when Burt and/or the ape get laid, as they inevitably will.
jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:32
Sorry – time for me to call it ……………
Lemming’s Cyberpolitical Theorem:
Mechanocracy inevitably succumbs to the cumulative entropic effects of the “COMPUTERS = EPIC MAGNIFICATION/ACCELERATION OF NET ABILITY TO CREATE & TRANSMIT NEW STUPIDITY” problem.
eataTREE said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:50
Ah, but once the machines are making the decisions, it won’t matter that our brains are full of nothing but cat videos and Solitaire. Right?
Hmm, a message from Computerized Central Command. It tells me to report to the meat-packing plant for “reprocessing”. It also tells me I can leave my clothing behind…
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 19:52
Kevin D. Williamson:
Nixon's Head said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:05
One of these things is treated by liberals as a national emergency, the other is not.
Not to be one to defend the hippies, but I believe that they treat both as national emergencies. They also tend to support the national Center for Disease Control and Prevention and better and more affordable health care for all. Duh. And, safer cars, safer working conditions, safer airplane travel, food safety and a clean and safe environment. You’d think that they cared about the commonwealth of the nation or something. Damned hippies.
That being said, Nixon’s Head will be in meetings until the election.
Vote Nixon
Paid for by the Nixon For President of Earth & Texans Against Teaching Thinking in Our Schools Super Pac
Helmut Monotreme said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:23
That’s some breathtaking mendacity right there. That may be the great granddaddy of false equivalencies. That analogy breaks down on how many levels?
One: False dichotomy, It’s not either/or. Liberals see needless healthcare deaths as bad too. That’s why we like healthcare reform as well as gun control.
Two: An unfilled prescription potentially has one casualty, which will kill only the party who forgot to or is unable to refill the prescription. Gun homicides can kill dozens of totally innocent victims in a single incident.
Three: missed prescriptions are almost always a mistake (unless they are a form of suicide), gun homicides are deliberate acts of murder.
Four: there is no industry making billions off of selling missed prescriptions to the most paranoid of the population.
One way in which they are similar though is that the right wing of American politics is enabling both forms of mortality by fighting attempts to rectify the situation. They oppose both health care reform and gun control legislation.
The gall that it takes to put forth that bilge as an argument astounds me. If we strip out all of the half truths, lies and distortions, his position seems to be that he likes guns so much that he doesn’t mind if every so often dozens of people get shot and die. And that he is willing to lie like a rug to advance that position. Why doesn’t he come out and just say that? If nothing else the honesty would be refreshing.
vacuumslayer said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:23
LOLWUT?!
Mitt Romney said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:25
there is no industry making billions off of selling missed prescriptions to the most paranoid of the population.
I see a business opportunity!
LittlePig said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:27
Arroooo!
LittlePig said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:32
It’s even more blatant than that, Helmut.
For handguns, death is a result of the use the product. All the others: cars, missed meds, etc., death is abuse of a product. Cars aren’t designed specifically for killing (Death Race movies aside, of course).
kg said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:36
Some of Sly Stallone’s best work, btw.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:41
The headline of the Williamson piece is a winner.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:45
The headline of the Williamson piece is a winner.
That headline was 11 times more nauseating than the possibly bad meet in my lunch today.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:48
Meets suck.
Pryme said,
July 27, 2012 at 20:51
Not even if Robin of Berkeley arises from her long awaited and heartily welcomed coma to claim that Obama feasts on human flesh in the Oval Office while sodomizing baby seals and blonde-haired Cub Scouts.
Don’t spoil the October Surprise.
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 21:00
Meets suck.
I said “possibly”.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 27, 2012 at 21:06
That headline was 11 times more nauseating than the possibly bad meet in my lunch today.
Bad meet in your lunch, eh? Obnoxious client?
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 21:46
I predict comments will be BETTER THAN EVER.
Another Kiwi said,
July 27, 2012 at 21:51
We have told N_B_ about eating the clients. Even in sammiches it is wrong.
ONLY FOR ZOMBIES, NED!!!
Whale Chowder said,
July 27, 2012 at 21:57
We have told N_B_ about eating the clients. Even in sammiches it is wrong.
Well that gives a whole new meaning to the term “lunch meeting.”
N__B said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:07
Is it my fault that some of my clients are chicken?
tsam said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:13
A little perspective on the gun-control debate:
A little perspective on your perspective. You’re doing it wrong. Add a statistic showing how many of those deaths are from crossfire in gunfights and children playing dad’s loaded gun he keeps in the nightstand so that any potential home invaders will have a ready weapon with which to kill him.
tsam said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:16
Also:
Observed on the window of a vehicle today, a sticker reading thusly:
“REAL vampires don’t sparkle!”
L to the O to the L is what I say.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:24
Note the quote from Imam Khomeini down and on the left.
tigris said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:24
One of these things is treated by liberals as a national emergency, the other is not. This is a curious thing for people proclaiming themselves to be empirical, evidence-driven rationalists.
Damn right, and it’s a shame Obama spent all that political capital getting a gun control bill passed when he could have done something about health care.
tigris said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:33
Interestingly, the wikipedia numbers seem to differ somewhat, plus they cover stuff he leaves out: There were 52,447 deliberate and 23,237 accidental non-fatal gunshot injuries in the United States during 2000.[4] The majority of gun-related deaths in the United States are suicides,[5] with 17,352 (55.6%) of the total 31,224 firearm-related deaths in 2007 due to suicide, while 12,632 (40.5%) were homicide deaths.[6]
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:44
The Presidential helicopter “Marine 1? is flown by, you guessed it, Marines.
It should be flown by Aquaman.
Whale Chowder said,
July 27, 2012 at 22:48
Add a statistic showing how many of those deaths are from crossfire in gunfights and children playing dad’s loaded gun
Relevant? Relevant… Relevant!
I have no idea what you mean.
Nym said,
July 27, 2012 at 23:44
Maybe God actually objected to Chick-Fil-A’s bearing false witness via Facebook.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 28, 2012 at 0:22
Everybody dance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr3QvBQdvCw
Matt said,
July 28, 2012 at 0:55
“But this folks, this is it. This is peak wingnut. Nothing will surpass this. ”
Nope – it’s straightforward to convert *any* wingnut statement into a wackier one by positing that the speaker of the former is actually in on the plot, attempting to discredit the theory. Lather, Jeff Rense, repeat.
Like fucking Russian dolls filled with batshit, that lot…
Major Kong said,
July 28, 2012 at 1:12
Peak wingnut is like absolute zero or a frictionless surface – it can be approached but never quite equalled.
N__B said,
July 28, 2012 at 1:20
Peak wingnut is like absolute zero or a frictionless surface
“Okay class: picture a spherical cow…”
Nym said,
July 28, 2012 at 1:29
Interesting Alternet article:
The New Totalitarianism: How American Corporations Have Made America Like the Soviet Union
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 3:20
[tap tap]
This thang on?
.
Suezboo said,
July 28, 2012 at 3:33
Only you and me here, Jeff.
And it’s 3:20 am here so I am kinda thinking of hitting the old sack.
Suezboo said,
July 28, 2012 at 3:34
Night
jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
July 28, 2012 at 3:40
Shorter Williamson:
Pay no attention to the First Lady’s fitness & nutrition advocacy behind the curtain!
Nor to Obama’s expansion of 2nd Amenedment liberty by signing off on allowing guns on wildlife preserves behind that other curtain, either!
THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN!
jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
July 28, 2012 at 4:02
I predict comments will be BETTER THAN EVER.
DICTATORSHIP OF TEH COMMENTARIAT ISREAL.
N__B said,
July 28, 2012 at 4:21
The New Totalitarianism: How American Corporations Have Made America Like the Soviet Union
Felix Dzerzhinsk, COO and member of the board.
N__B said,
July 28, 2012 at 4:21
Whoops, I left out Felix’s “y”. Off to the gulag with me…
jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
July 28, 2012 at 4:41
Moustache O’ Freedom mistakenly talks with actual interviewer, phat lulz ensue.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 4:46
Well, shoot. I missed Suezboo.
.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 4:48
I gotta remember to pick up a quart of orl, tomorrow, before 11 a.m. Dollar General had Pennzoil 10w40 for $4.25… been so long since I bought conventional, I don’t know if that’s a price, or not.
.
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:10
The headline of the Williamson piece is a winner.
okay…first time using this phrase: williamson…eat a bag of salted dicks and then diaf, m’kay?
jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:14
“2nd Amenedment (sic)”
… this should obviously be “2nd AMEN!!!-dment.”
Carry on.
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:22
to pick up a quart of orl, tomorrow
heh…when i lived texas they called it ‘erl’…
N__B said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:26
when i lived texas
That’s a past-ilfe regression I do not want.
they called it ‘erl’
The erl-king creeped me out when I was a kid.
Major Kong said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:33
when i lived texas
Nice place except it’s full of Texans.
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:35
oh you two do not even want to know…i still shudder…
Nikolai Yezhov said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:47
Comrade N_B, rumors have come to our attention that you have been involved in Zinovievite Anti-Soviet grammatical wrecking. There is no cause for concern; no doubt a brief interview with one of our friendly NKVD interrogators will clear up any confusion. Just step into the room with the concrete floor.
N__B said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:50
Just step into the room with the concrete floor.
Is there a floor drain with a hair strainer? I hope there’s a floor drain with a hair strainer?
Nikolai Yezhov said,
July 28, 2012 at 5:55
Of course, Comrade! Here we have all the most modern conveniences. Our lead saps are made with real Corinthian leather.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:02
heh…when i lived texas they called it ‘erl’…
Here, “tar” can mean the rubberish thang that goes on a vehicle wheel, what cell phone networks need every so many miles to operate, or can also mean the speaker is fatigued. Also, the petrochemical junk used to patch roofs and roads.
.
Snorghagen said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:05
Whatever you may think of Texans, I can assure you that this time of year no one would call this a nice place unless they enjoyed heat stroke.
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:06
Here, “tar” can mean the rubberish thang that goes on a vehicle wheel, what cell phone networks need every so many miles to operate, or can also mean the speaker is fatigued. Also, the petrochemical junk used to patch roofs and roads.
my personal fave was ‘pilla’..that and ‘i’m fixin’ to…’
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:09
So, no one asked why I need the orl, tomorrow.
I’ll tell ya. I believe this guy is not a loon, and I finally have a chance to find out.
.
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:10
Whatever you may think of Texans, I can assure you that this time of year no one would call this a nice place unless they enjoyed heat stroke.
ewwwww…and I was in the panhandle area where it was hot as fuck on the summer and gray, rainy and muddy all winter…also, too…DRY COUNTY…
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:13
So, no one asked why I need the orl, tomorrow.
i just assumed you got your new ride…also, too…that guy is a dork…
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:14
my personal fave was ‘pilla’..that and ‘i’m fixin’ to…’
Tennessee has its own set of colloquialisms. As I happen to work closely with a redneck who’s country as a biscuit, I get a new batch of them almost every week, such as:
“Lost as last year’s Easter egg.”
“Dumbest [person -- usually an expletive] ever to shit between two legs.”
“She carried him over to Billy’s” = “She drove him to Billy’s”
“We might-could do that.” (seems specific to the Columbia, TN area)
“Honey, if that thang’s THAT good, you might-ought to take it home and eat it yourself!”
.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:14
also, too…that guy is a dork…
Dorks are often right, though.
.
Snorghagen said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:16
But such beautiful mountain scenery!
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:17
a hahahahah…i forgot about ‘might-oughta’…
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:22
But such beautiful mountain scenery!
actually I remember the day our rellies pointed out the local ‘mountain’…we were like, ‘ummm, we call that a hill…’
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:24
Dorks are often right, though.
you do recall my obsession with william clark…who is pretty much hubbkf…what can I say?
Snorghagen said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:28
There’s a hill in the Panhandle? I only drove through there a few times, but I don’t even remember two dirt clods piled on each other.
Although eastern Alberta and Saskatchewan seemed even flatter, if that’s possible.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 6:40
you do recall my obsession with william clark…who is pretty much hubbkf…what can I say?
I’m sorry to say I don’t, actually… but I sleep a lot, and I drink more than I should. ;)
What causes me to put faith in the dork’s break-in method is that I have seen dozens of pistons pulled out of engines that were broken-in “normally” — as the manufacturers have suggested. None looked as nice as the ones this dork displays in his galleries. I also personally know people who have used this method, and none have had any unusual problems… and believe it or not, one guy did this with his 2006 Buddy 125, and to this day, it’ll outrun any Buddy I’ve ever seen. He had some stator (electrical) problems, but that was pretty common on the 2006 Buddy. No engine issues at all.
.
boconn13 said,
July 28, 2012 at 9:45
Concave. Still rebounding from the last ice sheet.
AWS said,
July 28, 2012 at 10:54
Pics or it didn’t happen.
boconn13 said,
July 28, 2012 at 11:34
Hey! Tip of my hat to jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming: Moustache O’ Freedom mistakenly talks with actual interviewer.
Frankly, yes; I’ve wanted Little Tommy Friedman to Suck. On. Something. Like. The. Exhaust. Pipe. Of a Bangladeshi taxi driver’s rig (with unseated piston rings).
Although, as an Apostrophe-American, I’m concerned about the O’Freedom. Isn’t the name of that song, O’Canada?
I liked how his voice kept rising to helium balloon levels when the interviewer pressed him on his contradictions. Imagine! Using his own words to make him look like a loo…loo…loo…looooser.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 28, 2012 at 11:41
Love the picture!
Major Kong said,
July 28, 2012 at 13:46
What causes me to put faith in the dork’s break-in method
He claims his break-in method would work on an airplane engine. He obviously doesn’t know anything about light aircraft.
You don’t run the engine in, oh let’s say a Cessna, up to full throttle and then suddenly chop it to idle. That will “shock cool” the engine (bad).
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 16:10
He claims his break-in method would work on an airplane engine. He obviously doesn’t know anything about light aircraft.
I can believe that. I was more interested in his experiences with motorthickles. A little puffery seems okay when you’re trying to sell a book. :)
.
Major Kong said,
July 28, 2012 at 16:21
He could be right. I remember hearing of this technique back in the dinosaur days.
Since I stopped buying new cars years ago, I suppose I’ll never know for sure.
tigris said,
July 28, 2012 at 16:23
“We might-could do that.” (seems specific to the Columbia, TN area)
I’ve heard it in Georgia and Alabama at least, I think it’s pretty standard.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
July 28, 2012 at 16:42
I’ve heard it in Georgia and Alabama at least, I think it’s pretty standard.
Might-could be that Columbia, TN is the northernmost boundary for this one.
.
LittlePig said,
July 28, 2012 at 17:03
We might-could here in Arkansas as well. As well as the past tense, mighta-coulda.
I personally use “a-fixing to” a lot, but then I am a real true hillbilly type person.
LittlePig said,
July 28, 2012 at 17:07
actually I remember the day our rellies pointed out the local ‘mountain’…we were like, ‘ummm, we call that a hill…’
I find flatlands a bit maddening – I’m not used to a thirty-mile horizon. As a comedian whose name I can’t recall said: “you know, a place where you can watch the dog run away from home for three days”.
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 17:08
Might-could be that Columbia, TN is the northernmost boundary for this one.
might could be that I am going to party again today…
bbkf said,
July 28, 2012 at 17:11
“you know, a place where you can watch the dog run away from home for three days”.
we call this north dakota…although western mn is not much better…
Bitter Scribe said,
July 28, 2012 at 21:11
Guess who doesn’t like Britain anymore.
N__B said,
July 28, 2012 at 21:16
200th Anniversary War of 1812 Commemorative Edition!
Let’s go burn
TorontoLeafs Suck!Substance McGravitas said,
July 28, 2012 at 22:19
Fine. No pipeline, junkies.
Cerberus said,
July 28, 2012 at 22:53
On a lighter note:
New post.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 28, 2012 at 22:55
Fine. No pipeline, junkies.
What kills me about that fucking pipeline is that it would make oil from Canadian tar sands more expensive for Americans, since it would allow the Canadians to sell it on the world market instead of locking them into the American one.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 28, 2012 at 23:15
The pipeline is a disastrous idea start to finish, and especially start.
Spearhafoc, who has been busy doing nothing in particular said,
July 29, 2012 at 1:27
At least you Yanks don’t have to see commercials about the tar sands that brag about Canada’s ingenuity and ability to do anything as long as we put our minds to it.
The first half actually reads as being about alternative energy or something, but then, bam, tar sands. I have to watch that crap every time I go to the movies.
I did like one crowd where we all shouted “fuck you!” at the screen though.
Joseph Nobles said,
July 31, 2012 at 3:24
The “Obama’s CIA sent James Holmes in to scare us into laws to give up our guns” CT has reached Facebook.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11353287
tigris said,
July 31, 2012 at 3:30
Holy crap, Joseph, that guy looks like a complete nutter. “I am part of the 100%” No shit, genius.
tigris said,
July 31, 2012 at 3:34
Also love the multicolor pen-work. Nothing says “Hey, I’m serious AND sane!” like writing your all-caps screed with 3 different Sharpie colors.