Jul
12

Stockholm Syndrome Isreal




Posted at 21:03 by Tintin

Shorter Bruce “America’s Most Ridiculous Homosexual,™” The Gay Quislings
Brad Pitt’s Mom Blasts Obama

  • I don’t much like Brad Pitt but I absolutely adore his faaaabulous mother for speaking out against gay marriage and the evils of homosexuality.

I have a confession to make. I occasionally contribute money to The Gay Quislings just to make sure that Bruce and Dan keep on blogging. (Bruce, you might recall, actually retired from blogging for a few minutes a while back after he did a stupid thing.) I do this because sometimes I just don’t have time to wade through the groves of rotten wingnut mangoes to bring back putrid delights for your amusement and delectation. When that is the case, I know that a quick trip over to The Gay Quislings and, whoop, there it is, another exquisite piece of self-loathing steaming bull hooey conveniently served up by Bruce and Dan and just sitting there, ripe for the taking.

A perfect example is the post from Bruce shortered above, which starts out like this:

I don’t really care about the political views of celebrities anymore. They are mostly predictable and rather ignorant.

Even if you just have an associate’s degree in Party Planning from Phoenix University, you know what’s coming next. When a wingnut says he doesn’t care about what celebrities say any more, this is a certain prelude to hearing about some celebrity who has had the courage to demand the vault copy of Obama’s birth certificate or who has decided to boycott Google until they stop being so gay.

Amirite?

But this one caught my attention. Granted, Mom Pitt isn’t exactly a celebrity. But still…

Yep. amieverrite! Except, WTF, Brad Pitt’s mother? His MOTHER? Yes, his frigging mother has Brucie so delighted that he’s piddling in his pants like a submissive cocker. Not surprisingly, Bruce has fallen in love with Brad’s mother because . . . drum roll . . . she hates Bruce and the rest of the sinful homosexuals out there. For that, Bruce pays her the ultimate compliment of a Southern prissy queen:

Momma Pitt sounds like a firecracker.

She sounds like an asshole to me, but then again I’m not some bitter nelly Republican queen stranded loveless and friendless in the backwoods of North Carolina trying to curry the favor of some Rush Limbaugh fan in a trailer park in the hopes that one night he’ll get lit up on crystal meth and make a booty call for me.

126 Comments »

  1. Caliph Garrett said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:07

    Currying the favor. Yum!

  2. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:13

    I have a confession to make. I occasionally contribute money to The Gay Quislings just to make sure that Bruce and Dan keep on blogging.

    You fucking cunt.

  3. D Johnston said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:18

    Speaking of Gay Patriot, did anyone ever notice that Dan Blatt was trying to write a novel a few years back? Based on the sample he posted, it was about a closeted gay man in a loveless marriage. So there’s that.

    Also, he was apparently inspired by Glenn Reynolds, so there’s that too.

  4. Snorghagen said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:20

    he was apparently inspired by Glenn Reynolds

    Aren’t we all…

  5. phleabo said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:25

    Isn’t there a better term than gay Quislings? Maybe Jizzlings?

  6. Jackoff Torrance said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:26

    Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh. Read the whole thing. Heh.

  7. Marion in Savannah said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:32

    I see the malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds robot has cloned itself…

  8. N__B said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:33

    Pitting the mother.

  9. Alexander von Humbug said,

    July 12, 2012 at 21:34

    Whoa, nelly!

    Or should that be woe, Nelly?

  10. Hogeye Grex said,

    July 12, 2012 at 22:19

    Ho. Nelly.

  11. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 12, 2012 at 22:44

    …in the hopes that one night he’ll get lit up on crystal meth and make a booty call for me.

    Better stock some Viagra. From what I hear, tweakers have a hard time having a…hard time.

  12. Golem Heart said,

    July 12, 2012 at 22:58

    “Based on the sample he posted, it was about a closeted gay man in a loveless marriage.”

    There are virtues in writing what you know, or writing about reality (however depressing), but … who’d be the audience for this? A heavy dose of comedy could redeem it. I dunno what else. I’d guess the guy is an anti-hero, but this is Blatt. The protagonist must be a hero, and his story an inspiration?

    I’ve gotta keep plugging away at this, Blatt said to himself. The Great Gay Novel of our time. That’ll show them.

  13. Golem Heart said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:00

    I submit QUEERSLINGS for consideration.

  14. Smut Clyde said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:06

    There are virtues in writing what you know, or writing about reality (however depressing)

    All my novelistic efforts involve old scrotes in pubs talking shite.

  15. N__B said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:08

    I submit QUEERSLINGS for consideration.

    I’ll stick to contemplating my navel, thanks.

  16. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:08

    Now now, Actor TinTin, Mom Pitt is not a celebrity, therefore Dan’s statement is truefactual.

  17. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:09

    Isn’t there a better term than gay Quislings? Maybe Jizzlings?

    Gay-tors.

  18. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:12

    “Based on the sample he posted, it was about a closeted gay man in a loveless marriage.”

    There are virtues in writing what you know, or writing about reality (however depressing), but … who’d be the audience for this? A heavy dose of comedy could redeem it.

    Or you could make it an historical novel about Tchaikovsky.

  19. LanceThruster said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:12

    Isn’t there a better term than gay Quislings? Maybe Jizzlings?

    Homo-exceptionals?

  20. bbkf said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:14

    All my novelistic efforts involve old scrotes in pubs talking shite.

    which is a direct rip-off of uk sitcoms…

    but … who’d be the audience for this?

    being the maverick he is, i bet he is hoping to create a whole new genre of latently homo/emo/goth/bondage…could be just what this country needs to bring us out of the doldrums!

  21. tigris said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:19

    All my novelistic efforts involve old scrotes in pubs talking shite.

    You sell yourself short*, all your novelistic efforts involve old scrotes in pubs talking shite, copiously illustrated.

    * What?

  22. Golem Heart said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:38

    I thought of writing an autobiography, with enough untruths and embellishments to make it enjoyable. Celine’s Death on the Installment Plan and Journey to the End of the Night inspired those thoughts. I would use fewer ellipses than Celine, and no anti-semitism at all.

    I admire his decision to write a chapter about coming to America on a slave galley, pulling an oar. Not true, but probably more interesting than how he really came over. And who cares if he worked at a Ford plant or not … I assume all the sex stuff is true, however.

  23. bbkf said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:40

    Celine’s Death on the Installment Plan and Journey to the End of the Night inspired those thoughts. I would use fewer ellipses than Celine, and no anti-semitism at all.

    I admire his decision to

    oh, jeepers…here i thought you meant celine dion…

  24. Golem Heart said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:44

    That reminds me of a good playful / serious fantasy novel I came upon by accident. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I gotta find another Walter Moers book in English.

    The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear

  25. Golem Heart said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:46

    To find that book online, I bravely Googled “bear lives fantasy,” and there it was.

  26. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    July 12, 2012 at 23:54

    Did somebody say Celine Dion?

    HIGH

    QUALITY
    ~

  27. bughunter said,

    July 13, 2012 at 0:05

    That reminds me of a good playful / serious fantasy novel I came upon by accident.

    That reminds me of about a hundred good playful/serious fantasy erotica novellas that I once came upon. By accident, of course. And I accidently thoroughly enjoyed them, too:

    Elf Sternberg’s The Journal Entries (target SFW, but links therein are quite NSFW)

    You thought the box on the bottom of the Brunching Shuttlecocks’ Geek Hierarchy was satire? That category, and some below it, were well populated long before Lore Sjöberg drew something that made himself laugh.

  28. Anonymous said,

    July 13, 2012 at 0:23

    That reminds me of about a hundred good playful/serious fantasy erotica novellas that I once came upon.

    They must be pretty sticky.

  29. Spearhafoc, who would like to remind everyone that Spider-Man is spelled with a hyphen said,

    July 13, 2012 at 0:24

    That was me. Forgot I cleared my history yesterday.

  30. Spearhafoc, who would like to remind everyone that Spider-Man is spelled with a hyphen said,

    July 13, 2012 at 0:37

    Clearing the history.

  31. bughunter said,

    July 13, 2012 at 0:56

    They must be pretty sticky.

    SFX: Rimshot

  32. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:03

    Bughunter — wow, that’s alotta sci-fi erotica.

    I’ll counter with a short novel some of you might enjoy, The Hand-Reared Boy by Brian Aldiss.

  33. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:04

    being the maverick he is, i bet he is hoping to create a whole new genre of latently homo/emo/goth/bondage…could be just what this country needs to bring us out of the doldrums!

    Fifty Shades of Gay

  34. Just Alison freezing her tits off (still) said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:08

    Smut Clyde said,
    July 12, 2012 at 23:06

    There are virtues in writing what you know, or writing about reality (however depressing)

    All my novelistic efforts involve old scrotes in pubs talking shite.

    Smut always makes me laugh. Also, too, smut often makes me laugh.

  35. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:08

    Heh, I picked the link that makes Adliss look most respectable. This link is more frank about the subject matter, though I remember it as more about sex and less about wanking.

  36. Both Sides Do It said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:09

    There was nothing

    in the birth cer-ti-fi-cate vault

    But it wasn’t

    O-ba-ma’s fault

  37. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:15

    Hmm, I had forgotten that he calls a condom a “french letter.” How odd.

  38. wiley said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:43

    “Mom Pitt”? This is an odd familiarity. Stockholm Syndrome, indeed. It’s irresponsible not to speculate on what the man would do if he were literally held hostage. I’m speculating that it might lead to the full embrasure of gay marriage and a big fat gay wedding in prison.

  39. tigris said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:46

    The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear

    THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!

  40. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 1:49

    Well it is, tigris. Supposedly quite a hit in Europe and the UK, less so here. Dumbasses.

  41. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    July 13, 2012 at 2:40

    Smut always makes me laugh. Also, too, smut often makes me laugh.

    Me too. I’m pretty sure he’s a warlock.

  42. N__B said,

    July 13, 2012 at 3:33

    Smut is an oarlock? Does that make AK his coxswain?

  43. Major Kong said,

    July 13, 2012 at 3:42

    Heh heh, he said “cox”.

  44. Spearhafoc, who would like to remind everyone that Spider-Man is spelled with a hyphen said,

    July 13, 2012 at 3:48

    Making the coxswain.

  45. N__B said,

    July 13, 2012 at 3:48

    An acquaintance of an acquaintance in college had the last name Cox and when she married took her husband’s name of Dickie. I was heartbroken, upon reading the alumni magazine, to find that she did not hyphenate.

  46. N__B said,

    July 13, 2012 at 3:51

    Also…

    Peen is peen
    and poon is poon
    and ever the coxswain meet.

  47. Christopher said,

    July 13, 2012 at 6:46

    What is it with old people that they feel the need to loudly voice poorly thought-out and offensive political opinions all the time?

  48. Whale Chowder said,

    July 13, 2012 at 6:50

    I was heartbroken, upon reading the alumni magazine, to find that she did not hyphenate.

    I’m more heartbroken when my cox-dickie decides to go ahead an hibernate.

  49. Suezboo said,

    July 13, 2012 at 11:13

    What is it with whippersnappers that they feel the need to loudly voice all their opinions as new and brilliant?

  50. Cole said,

    July 13, 2012 at 12:27

    The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear

    THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!

    A few years back, I picked up Moers’s book about Rumo the Wolperting, and found it was a very enjoyable read. It had the feel of an old-fashioned satire but with a more modern style. What delighted me the most was the author’s generosity of imagination–the book had more original ideas, characters, and settings than most writers put in many books. And yet Moers still managed to keep the central characters sympathetic and believable (under the circumstances).

    I’ll have to try Bluebear. Thanks for the reminder, Golem Heart.

  51. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 14:04

    What delighted me the most was the author’s generosity of imagination–the book had more original ideas, characters, and settings than most writers put in many books. And yet Moers still managed to keep the central characters sympathetic and believable (under the circumstances).

    I’ll second these judgments. Ideas galore. I laughed, I may have even cried as I sometimes do. (I don’t really have the heart of a powerful golem.)

  52. Snorghagen said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:01

    What is it with old people that they feel the need to loudly voice poorly thought-out and offensive political opinions all the time?

    It’s because we geezers are the only ones WITH ENOUGH GODDAMN GUTS to face up to the TRUTH about how the GODDAMN ALBANIAN BASTARDS are stealing ALL THE EARTH’S GODDAMN AMMONIA in their FUCKING BID FOR GODDAMN GLOBAL CONTROL!!! WAKE UP, YOU PUERILE PENCIL-NECKED PISSANT PUNKS and SMELL THE MOTHERFUCKING JAVA!!!!!!

    And don’t fucking get me started on WHAT THE QUEERS ARE DOING TO THE SOIL!!!!

  53. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:05

    There I lay, a-dyin’ of heart cancer. To save time, I called for last rites. All they had was a mystical rabbi (me being an atheist with Taoist leanings).

    “Oy,” the rabbi said, peppering his speech with colorful Yiddish expressions. “I can fix you up, but all I have is this old golem heart. It IS a good one.”

  54. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:29

    weren’t we all afraid THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF WE LET THOSE DAMN GHEYS GET MARRIED?!?!?

  55. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:37

    Those dogs are awfully cute, and they aren’t gay, so it’s OK — well, she could be a “beard.”

    Wow, the wedding was officiated by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

  56. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:42

    Wow, the wedding was officiated by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

    which i find to be the only redeeming feature about the whole thing…i know it was for charity, but the fact that $6,000 DOG WEDDING DRESSES exist at all lowers my estimation of humankind that much more…also, too…nothing says sanctity of marriage quite like a LOL!!! dog wedding!

  57. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:46

    i am just pissy lately…and i would blahg about it if that goddamn hunk of shit laptop that i have to use would ever fucking work without giving me a motherfucking coronary!!!

    also, my baby sister found a 2cmm irregularly shaped lump in her left breast…mamm this morning at 9:30 central time…she’s already had stage one cervical cancer, and as much as i bitch about what a spoiled little brat she is (hubbkf always opines, ‘well her name is a-ME for a reason!) i could not face this…i have been tearing up off and on since she told me last night…oh fuck it…i’m going to go work out…

  58. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:54

    That’s too bad, I hope your sister can go on being a cancer-free spoiled brat. “a-Me” –that’s a good one.

  59. Golem Appendix said,

    July 13, 2012 at 15:57

    Mr Heart, that’s astounding because this one time, when I was in the hospital with swelling and pain in my torso…

  60. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 16:01

    I may need to change my office phone message. I work for a nonprofit museum now. I dunno if it’s because of the recession or what, but I’ve been getting lots of calls and e-mails from amateurs who want to know how much their painting is worth. I hate to be a dick, but a message saying “hello, I am forbidden by law from appraising your artwork” would save me alot of trouble any given week. The website already says that, but it doesn’t help.

    Some people say they want “information,” which is tricky, because if it’s in our sphere, I certainly should help. But by information they often mean values.

  61. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 16:02

    Before you know it we’ll have the makings of an entire golem up in here.

  62. Golem Duodenum said,

    July 13, 2012 at 16:07

    So, like was this golem in like a traffic accident or something or was it more sinister?

  63. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 16:18

    A traffic accident involving a golem could be sinister. And: you should have seen the Hyundai!

  64. tigris said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:03

    weren’t we all afraid THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF WE LET THOSE DAMN GHEYS GET MARRIED?!?!?

    OMG it’s a travesty no wait they’re cousins so it’s still a traditional marriage.

  65. smedley said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:08

    Actual, direct line from the “fact-checker” at WaPo: “We had examined many SEC documents related to Romney and Bain in January, and concluded that much of the language saying Romney was “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president” was boilerplate that did not reveal whether he was actually managing Bain at the time.”

  66. Golem Left Nut said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:25

    Anybody seen my partner?

  67. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:26

    OMG it’s a travesty no wait they’re cousins so it’s still a traditional marriage.

    tigris, you never fail to make me laff! also, so far mammogram didn’t show anything, but the lump is higher up in the breast so they were kind of expecting that…she’s probably getting and ultrasound right now…

  68. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:26

    “a-Me” –that’s a good one.

    right? hubbkf is a man of few words and is not a laffaminute, but when he does get one off, it’s usually worth it…

  69. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:28

    much of the language saying Romney was “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president” was boilerplate that did not reveal whether he was actually managing Bain at the time.”

    wow, i wish the language in my job description was such boilerplate so that when i screw up more than usual, i can use tactics such as this…

  70. Whale Chowder said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:30

    but when he does get one off, it’s usually worth it…

    One of the secrets of a long happy marriage.

  71. Thread Bear said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:33

    concluded that much of the language saying Romney was “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president” was boilerplate that did not reveal whether he was actually managing Bain at the time.

    But I have also read that he was still getting a lot of money from Bain at the time. Was he soooo bad at being “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president” that they actually paid him money to stay away? I’m sending my resume to Bain today. I’m going to tell them that if they ever need someone to not be in charge of the company again that I can do it for half the money they were paying Romney.

  72. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:43

    concluded that much of the language saying Romney was “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president” was boilerplate that did not reveal whether he was actually managing Bain at the time.

    When Romney’s people did that SEC filing, then, did they rely on outdated boilerplate language to determine his role(s)? An amazing team for an amazing leader.

    The SEC docs, and other legal ones pertaining to his roles, cannot be meaningless boilerplate. They are by definition either reliable in a literal sense, or felonious lies. There is no option to fill them out with info from some old file laying around the office and call it a day.

  73. S. cerevisiae said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:45

    I have to share this, from commenter Hatmandu at TBogg’s place:

    Another homerun allowed by Romney looks like it that could mean the showers for the junk balling Mormon! He’s been hanging the curve all day. And, yes, here comes manager Reince Preinus. Looks like he he is signaling for – who else – the flame throwing righty, Palin. Slingin’ Sarah is looking for a bounce back year since being sent down the AAA Galt’s Gulch Grifters in 2009 after producing an ERA (no – not that one!) of over 7.00 in 2008. Since then she has perfected the screwball, which has proved to be a confusing pitch for left-handed hitters (and everyone else).
    Here she comes now, trotting from the bullpen – but wait, ooh, she takes a spill! Looks like she caught a Louboutin heel on the second base bag and rolled an ankle. Now she’s up, but wait she shakes her head at Preinus and crawls to the dugout, quitting the field. Looks like they may go to Christie now, as the team forklift heads out to the bullpen to fetch him.

    Add a few “spread of truth” and some diddly nonsense and it could be teh Cool Coach.

  74. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 13, 2012 at 17:48

    I want to own a company that is a major defense contractor who will low bid on wildly improbable projects *cough* anti ballistic missile space lasers *cough* and make a hash of it, but only cost half as much as Raytheon is soaking the US taxpayer for. Seriously “We’ll take your bad idea, implement it poorly, and pass the savings on to you!” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

  75. smedley said,

    July 13, 2012 at 18:36

    “………………Looks like they may go to Christie now, as the team forklift heads out to the bullpen to fetch him.” No. Hold on. It’s not Christie. It’s the unindicted war criminal Condoleezza! The forklift was for her Steinway! Ms. Rice has the crowd toe-tappin with a bit of Chopin………AND THE RUNNER ON THIRD IS STEALING HOME!

  76. tigris said,

    July 13, 2012 at 18:49

    FYI: http://dazzlepod.com/yahoo/

  77. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 18:51

    I have to share this, from commenter Hatmandu at TBogg’s place:

    one of the best things i have ever read…

  78. Whale Chowder said,

    July 13, 2012 at 19:20

    AND THE RUNNER ON THIRD IS STEALING HOME!

    No one could have predicted…

  79. Pupienus Maximus said,

    July 13, 2012 at 19:40

    The SEC docs, and other legal ones pertaining to his roles, cannot be meaningless boilerplate. They are by definition either reliable in a literal sense, or felonious lies.

    Correctamundo and give yourself a gold star. See, those documents were presented to teh Taxachusetts Authoritays as evidence that Willard was eligible to run for governor. Cause, you know he had decamped to Youtaw to run the Olympics and shit so the dems challenged his legitimacy to which team Rmoney responded by saying “no see! This proves he was still a Mass resident!”

    Good old Mittster, he has it both ways ALL THE TIME.

    Also, in “honor” of Quentin Crisp, Crisplings?

  80. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 19:40

    sister’s ultrasound shows 4 suspicious lumps…the tech said two looked like lymph nodes, but the other two were ‘different’…she just heard from her doc who told her that the mammogram would have shown if it was cancer, but since nothing showed up, she shouldn’t worry…

    i told her i didn’t feel she should completely buy that, since a friend who had a suspicious lump and multiple mammograms that didn’t show anything, now has a malignancy the size of a grapefruit…nothing showed up on the mamms, but did on an ultrasound…

    grrrrrrrr…i don’t want to borrow trouble, but just some of the things i’ve been reading and hearing lately, make me realize that a good many docs STILL do not take breast lumps seriously!!!

  81. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 19:49

    Also, in “honor” of Quentin Crisp, Crisplings?

    what would crispin glover think?

  82. Whale Chowder said,

    July 13, 2012 at 20:05

    sister’s ultrasound shows 4 suspicious lumps

    Eesh. Here’s hoping they’re benign.

  83. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 20:20

    Eesh. Here’s hoping they’re benign.

    indeed…like as golem said upthread, we are hoping for her to remain a cancer free spoiled brat!

  84. 'natch said,

    July 13, 2012 at 20:22

    submitted without comment (’cause I got nuttin’)

    http://www.quakeroats.com/products/more-products-from-quaker/content/cereals/quisp.aspx

  85. Pupienus said,

    July 13, 2012 at 21:00

    Hoo boy! Just reread that epic trolling by Brucie. Good times, man, good times.

  86. Pupienus said,

    July 13, 2012 at 21:04

    FYiPhone. Strike “epic” and append “pathetic.”

    I had forgotten about his proving we were liars about deleted comments by showing comments that were not deleted. Aristotle haz a sad.

  87. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 21:07

    Hoo boy! Just reread that epic trolling by Brucie. Good times, man, good times

    did he troll pathetically here? that would be some good reading…

  88. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 13, 2012 at 21:20

    I don’t understand why Romney even tries to pretend he wasn’t running Bain Capitol when he was ‘rescuing’ the olympics. His story that he’s not the worst kind of hypercaptalist, company-looting, job-offshoring, corporate plunderer is never going to withstand even cursory scrutiny.

    So own that shit. His supporters love him for being a corporate raider. Play it up. Roll up in golden chariot pulled by a dozen gangster rappers. Buy out newspapers that give him unfavorable coverage and fire the offending reporters. Get every tooth capped with platinum. Appear in public with a monocle, a dueling scar and a white cat. Drink Mormon tea from a bejeweled chalice. He’s not an everyman, he can’t fake being an everyman, he looks like a freaking robot when he tries, he should give up the phony everyman bit and roll like a player.

  89. creature said,

    July 13, 2012 at 22:22

    Hat’s a bad muthafukkah, been loving his scribbles for quite some time now.

    Mitt won’t be able to pull of the ‘pimp daddy look’- he’s too fucking pale. He needs the ‘greaseball/kike/mick gangster look’- expensive shiny suit, expensive shiny shoes, expensive shiny (and large) watch, expensive and large diamond pinky ring, expensive and snappy brim, and a Colt automatic sized bulge on his hip. And a perfect, shiny, razor cut head of hair. Roll up in a Cadillac sedan, with a couple of broken-nosed, scar-faced lumps hanging around, looking angry and hungry.
    Totally works.

  90. Pupienus Maximus said,

    July 13, 2012 at 22:29

    I somewhat agree, HT, but that would mean he actually took form on Earth which he is not yet capable of doing. Well, I guess he could own it one day, deny it the next, rinse and repeat as he has done with every other public persona and political position.

    Sorry that It’s the New York Fucking Times but this is the best, and funniest, explanation of Rmoney.

  91. Pupienus Maximus said,

    July 13, 2012 at 22:57

    Also, POOP.

  92. Coach Joe Paterno said,

    July 13, 2012 at 22:59

    Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, Loser Louis’ lame-o report is total bunkus if ya feels what Da Old Coach is rip-rappin’ at ya! No surprise that some KKKlinton Klown would try to take down Jerry, the Super Sandusky, and Da Old Coach! You silly socialists hate Penn State because we’re the SPREAD of CONSERVOVIRTUE like you dorkus malorkuses wouldn’t believe, and if that don’t get ya a badoodle-boo-yeah, then I don’t know what would! Ding dong dilly!

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it, loony libs! JoePa out.

  93. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 13, 2012 at 23:12

    That is the single most coherent defense of coach Joe Paterno’s cover up of Jerry Sandusky’s multiple felonies that I have read so far.

  94. bbkf said,

    July 13, 2012 at 23:15

    Also, POOP.

    wait…i thought adam and eve were the first people to live here? in missouri? or something…

  95. Major Kong said,

    July 13, 2012 at 23:24

    wait…i thought adam and eve were the first people to live here? in missouri? or something…

    I thought it was Fred and Wilma.

  96. Golem Heart said,

    July 13, 2012 at 23:34

    wait…i thought adam and eve were the first people to live here? in missouri? or something…

    The Book of Mormon explains all that and more. Well, I’m not sure if it covers Fred and Wilma, but Smith did have a way with names — they might be in there.

  97. Golem Heart said,

    July 14, 2012 at 1:29

    I listened to NPR’s weekly political wrapup in the car … David Brooks is away, so Mona Charen filled in. Then as always they had E.J. Dionne, who phoned it in, I’d say.

    Charen is an total shameless hack. Ostensibly there to provide analysis from a conservative viewpoint, she just recited Romney campaign talking points: the Bain hullabaloo this week is Obama’s desperate attempt to distract voters from his record on the economy. (A few minutes later, Romney was heard to say the same thing, in the same way, at a different venue.) Romneys won’t release his tax returns? Same parallel “analysis.” Charen scoffed that democrats would just pore over every line of them, and all we’d find out is that Romney is still rich. OK then, let’s have them, like everyone else’s.

    More hard-hitting political analysis: Romney’s speech to the NAACP was a wonder to behold. (I’m not exaggerating.) He communicated with his audience on a deep level about issues that affect their lives. It was a model of a speech, maybe the best she’s seen in a long time, etc.

    I dunno how E.J. Dionne kept from laughing, but then, he’s on the show every week with David Brooks. Who (I was forcefully reminded) has qualities that Charen lacks. Charen seems to have phoned Romney’s campaign director before the show. Brooks is craftier, with veneers of independence and reasonability, and no audible contempt for the opposition.

  98. Pupienus said,

    July 14, 2012 at 1:58

    Mona is a cunt. I rarely use that word anymore but when it comes to Mona I can find no other appropriate word.

  99. Golem Heart said,

    July 14, 2012 at 2:06

    Yeah. Sure, she’s dickish, but is that saying enough? It’s not that cunts are worse than dicks, it’s that Mona Charen is odious. I’m a dick. She’s worse.

  100. Snorghagen said,

    July 14, 2012 at 2:10

    Charon, the ferryman who carries the damned to hell, by Michelangelo.

  101. Pupienus said,

    July 14, 2012 at 2:13

    Just listening to that segment now. E. J. literally phoned it in.

    HAHAHAHA Mona said there is NO EVIDENCE AT ALL that he had ANY INVOLVEMENT with Bain.

  102. Major Kong said,

    July 14, 2012 at 2:23

    It’s not that cunts are worse than dicks, it’s that Mona Charen is odious.

    As the saying goes – I’d call her a cunt but she has neither the warmth nor the depth.

  103. Golem Heart said,

    July 14, 2012 at 2:25

    No evidence at all, Pupienus. The Romney line. Why, we dunno …

    Maybe it’s that Romney has spent so much time structuring exotic ways to get and keep money that he knows nothing else. People say he has no core, but he does: it’s this unquestioning belief that when elites make the rules, set the bar, then just barely, or seemingly limbo under it — why that’s not just ethical, it’s the fucking pinnacle. It’s not just that he’s never thought much about all this. He’s genuinely put out that anyone would, even in the context of a presidential election.

  104. jim, who knows that it takes destroying the Global Village in order to save it to raise a child said,

    July 14, 2012 at 4:55

    Wow, those new GOP campaign posters sure are eye-catching!

  105. Golem Heart said,

    July 14, 2012 at 5:15

    The video accompaniment makes it funny, the sound track alone is, I think, an old SNL-type trick:

    Fifty Shades of Gray read by Gilbert Gottfried

  106. jim, who knows that it takes destroying the Global Village in order to save it to raise a child said,

    July 14, 2012 at 5:52

    ill doctrine delivers teh goodz

  107. Golem Heart said,

    July 14, 2012 at 6:25

    Shit, jim, that was virtuosic. I feel as if I should know about this guy.

  108. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 14, 2012 at 7:35

    Mitt won’t be able to pull of the ‘pimp daddy look’- he’s too fucking pale. He needs the ‘greaseball/kike/mick gangster look’- expensive shiny suit, expensive shiny shoes, expensive shiny (and large) watch, expensive and large diamond pinky ring, expensive and snappy brim, and a Colt automatic sized bulge on his hip. And a perfect, shiny, razor cut head of hair. Roll up in a Cadillac sedan, with a couple of broken-nosed, scar-faced lumps hanging around, looking angry and hungry.
    Totally works.

    He couldn’t even pull that off, because he’s so goddamn effete. Mitt is an unholy mashup of C. Montgomery Burns and Ned Flanders, for Pete’s sake.

  109. Suezboo said,

    July 14, 2012 at 10:14

    Heart, You really should. PZ Myers linked to him during their whole sexists vs feminists debacle and this here Smooth guy is the cat’s pyjamas.

  110. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 14, 2012 at 12:03

    Heart, You really should. PZ Myers linked to him during their whole sexists vs feminists debacle and this here Smooth guy is the cat’s pyjamas.

    I especially liked his shout out to the Black Israelites. I remember one time, walking through Times Square, I stopped to listen to these guys, and they were so over-the-top that I started to chuckle and, laughter being contagious, one of the guys flanking the preacher actually cracked a smile before he remembered that he was supposed to be a Burning Sword of the Most Righteous and resumed scowling. It was a weird moment, a small crack in the stoic “New Yorker” facade for both of us.

  111. N__B said,

    July 14, 2012 at 14:29

    I once saw a white guy in a suit suddenly yell out “You’ve convinced me! How do I join?” which so confused the Black Israelites that they left their spot and moved down the block.

  112. N__B said,

    July 14, 2012 at 14:33

    Excuse me… “so-called-white guy in a suit-of-oppression.”

  113. Spengler Dampniche said,

    July 14, 2012 at 15:46

    I’m a 220-pound fag hag and proud of it. But Brice and Dan make me feel all violent and whatnot.

    I think there is always this creepy question floating around in the back of the homophobe’s mind: if I hit this freak hard enough, will he like it?

    Some do. Some even blog about it.

  114. Pupienus said,

    July 14, 2012 at 17:35

    220-pound fags? So a bear hag then.

  115. jim, who knows that it takes destroying the Global Village in order to save it to raise a child said,

    July 14, 2012 at 19:23

    I feel as if I should know about this guy.

    … now you know … THE REST OF THE STORY.

  116. Pupienus Maximus said,

    July 14, 2012 at 19:47

    especially liked his shout out to the Black Israelites.

    Why, isn’t that The Great Ahmed Khan?

  117. Hogeye Grex said,

    July 14, 2012 at 22:44

    I can’t help but wonder if the whole Bain thing has to do with Mitt’s lack of ability to fire up the base and is really a set up for him to drop out, teeing up a brokered convention and a true wingnut candidate swooping in and saving Conservatism.

    If not, it sure as hell is going to be the albatross around his neck all the way to November.

    I saw somewhere that McCain had looked at Rmoney for veep, and that a quick perusal of his finances led to the Supah Sarah pick.

  118. Hogeye Grex said,

    July 14, 2012 at 22:50

    BALLS

  119. Golem Heart said,

    July 15, 2012 at 1:06

    Oh yeah, McCain has seen something like 12 years of Romney tax returns.

    But then, Romney would be a bad VP even without em.

  120. Another Kiwi said,

    July 15, 2012 at 1:47

    PENIS

  121. Major Kong said,

    July 15, 2012 at 2:33

    I haven’t done food pron in a while so:

    I made a special trip up to Cleveland the other day to visit the West Side market. I highly recommend it. I’ve been to a lot of city markets and I’d rate it just behind Toronto’s.

    http://www.westsidemarket.org/

    One of the things I saw there was lamb ribs. Not racks of lamb, but actual ribs (bigger than pork ribs and smaller than beef).

    I bought a dry rub from the spice shop at the market. Not sure exactly what was in it, but it definitely had rosemary, garlic and lemon pepper.

    I coated the ribs with the dry rub and let them sit in the fridge overnight.

    Today I smoked them for two hours over cherry wood. I made a “mop” to baste them with from some red-wine vinegar, white wine, honey and some of the spice mix.

    When they were done, I gave them another hit of the spice mix and served them dry (Memphis style).

    Now, I’ve had ribs in Memphis, Kansas City, Chicago etc. and I kid you not, these were by far the best f-ing ribs I’ve ever had. None others have even come close.

  122. Pupienus said,

    July 15, 2012 at 5:15

    Sounds very good, Major. I love lamb ribs. Plus also too, I always make ribs with dry rub, and usually a basting/dipping sauce. Gud fur yu!

    Teh Ho is home from a week away at a conference so I’m welcoming him back with surf and turf. Bacon wrapped filet and lobster is fucking cheap right now. Tomorrow I’ll use the rest of the stobler – make a nice broth from the shells, sauté the claw meat in wine and cream then serve in rich buttery home made puff pastry shells.

  123. Hogeye Grex said,

    July 15, 2012 at 5:46

    Mmmmmm. Lamb.

    You reminded me that there’s a Pakistani joint around here that does a mean tandoori lamb chop thing. Serious yum.

    Now I’m hungry. I think it’s baked chickum leg fer me. The “what’s in the fridge” special. It’ll do.

  124. jim, who knows that it takes destroying the Global Village in order to save it to raise a child said,

    July 15, 2012 at 5:57

    THIS = why there needs to be a Pulitzer for foreign journalists.

  125. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 15, 2012 at 7:21

    Funny you should mention lamb ribs- I bought a “breast of lamb” and roasted it with a dry rub of cumin, cinnamon, coriander, savory and kosher salt. Served it with a side of instant couscous with vegetables.

    I resolved to eat more lamb this year- even though it tends to be pretty expensive, it’s totally worth every penny.

  126. Cerberus said,

    July 15, 2012 at 9:17

    New post.

    The Smiler returns.

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