Shorter Bruce “America’s Most Ridiculous Homosexual,™” The Gay Quislings
Brad Pitt’s Mom Blasts Obama
- I don’t much like Brad Pitt but I absolutely adore his faaaabulous mother for speaking out against gay marriage and the evils of homosexuality.
I have a confession to make. I occasionally contribute money to The Gay Quislings just to make sure that Bruce and Dan keep on blogging. (Bruce, you might recall, actually retired from blogging for a few minutes a while back after he did a stupid thing.) I do this because sometimes I just don’t have time to wade through the groves of rotten wingnut mangoes to bring back putrid delights for your amusement and delectation. When that is the case, I know that a quick trip over to The Gay Quislings and, whoop, there it is, another exquisite piece of self-loathing steaming bull hooey conveniently served up by Bruce and Dan and just sitting there, ripe for the taking.
A perfect example is the post from Bruce shortered above, which starts out like this:
I don’t really care about the political views of celebrities anymore. They are mostly predictable and rather ignorant.
Even if you just have an associate’s degree in Party Planning from Phoenix University, you know what’s coming next. When a wingnut says he doesn’t care about what celebrities say any more, this is a certain prelude to hearing about some celebrity who has had the courage to demand the vault copy of Obama’s birth certificate or who has decided to boycott Google until they stop being so gay.
But this one caught my attention. Granted, Mom Pitt isn’t exactly a celebrity. But still…
Yep. amieverrite! Except, WTF, Brad Pitt’s mother? His MOTHER? Yes, his frigging mother has Brucie so delighted that he’s piddling in his pants like a submissive cocker. Not surprisingly, Bruce has fallen in love with Brad’s mother because . . . drum roll . . . she hates Bruce and the rest of the sinful homosexuals out there. For that, Bruce pays her the ultimate compliment of a Southern prissy queen:
Momma Pitt sounds like a firecracker.
She sounds like an asshole to me, but then again I’m not some bitter nelly Republican queen stranded loveless and friendless in the backwoods of North Carolina trying to curry the favor of some Rush Limbaugh fan in a trailer park in the hopes that one night he’ll get lit up on crystal meth and make a booty call for me.