Jun
28

Is It Possible For “Webelos” To Be Any Gayer?




Posted at 21:10 by Tintin

Shorter Chuck “Walker, Texas Gay-nger” Norris, Ammoland:
Is Obama Creating a Pro-Gay Boy Scouts of America?

  • Obama has bribed the CEO of Ernst & Young to turn all the boys in the Boy Scouts gay.

The best part of Norris’s rant is what he thinks are the bribes that Obama has paid James Turley, the Ernst & Young CEO, to turn the Boy Scouts, and all your children in the Boy Scouts, gay. Now, keep in mind that we’re talking about the CEO of Ernst & Young here, a guy who probably trades in his Maybach for a new one each time it gets soiled by a few raindrops and who, it is safe to say, never has to worry whether he can afford another bottle of the 1998 Petrus at lunch.

So, it is particularly hilarious to see that Norris believes that Obama can induce him to make the Boy Scouts gay by inviting him to one state dinner, putting him on the President’s Export Council, and giving him a seat on another advisory panel. Seriously, these three things are the “perks and favors” with which, according to Norris, Obama “prodded” him to turn the Boy Scouts gay. I mean if that’s all that it takes, what the fuck does he think Turley would do for a cabinet position? Personally give David Axelrod a blow job during each daily press briefing?

I realize that for Norris, whose income these days is probably just enough to keep him in cold wieners and warm Budweiser, might himself be willing to go gay for a relatively small perk, but that hardly means that someone who still has a real career can be so easily induced.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

293 Comments »

  1. N__B said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:16

    If you ask me “Texas Ranger” has a kind of rainbow sound to it. Of course, to paraphrase some comedian thirty years ago in an HBO special I barely remember, “I’m from New York. When I see a muscular guy in cowboy boots, he’s the one I think is gay.”

  2. kg said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:17

    best toiletshop ever.

  3. kg said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:18

    I mean they’re not called we-blows for nuttin’
    just sayin is all

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:18

    There are now merit badges for buttsecks.

  5. Major Kong said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:18

    I thought entertainers were s’posed to “just shut up” about politics?

  6. kg said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:21

    I thought entertainers were s’posed to “just shut up” about politics?

    Yes, CN should “Shut up and kick something”

  7. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:21

    So, it is particularly hilarious to see that Norris believes that Obama can induce him to make the Boy Scouts gay by inviting him to one state dinner, putting him on the President’s Export Council, and giving him a seat on another advisory panel. Seriously, these three things are the “perks and favors” with which, according to Norris, Obama “prodded” him to turn the Boy Scouts gay.

    I’m sure Chuck thinks he’s also getting a steady supply of catamites.

  8. Marion in Savannah said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:23

    Oh, great. We have 2 little newbies in the cubes outside my office and they now think that the old broad in the office has lost her mind because she’s cackling like a crazy woman… What kg said about the best toiletshop ever, x2.

  9. N__B said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:26

    Cubing the newbies.

  10. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:29

    Oh, great. We have 2 little newbies in the cubes outside my office and they now think that the old broad in the office has lost her mind because she’s cackling like a crazy woman… What kg said about the best toiletshop ever, x2.

    When you finally seduce them to the Sadly Side, they’ll understand.

  11. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:30

    Is it a coincidence that as Chuck Norris turned to punditry America got more and more gay-friendly?

  12. kg said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:30

    Cubing the newbies.

    This is the very thing that PATRIOT Chuck Norris is complaining about!!!

  13. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:33

    Cub Scouts, not Boy Scouts, Chuckie.

  14. tsam said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:41

    Chuck’s gettin’ blasted in the comments. I bet it feels just like when those producers had him “audition” early in his career…

  15. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:45

    I have no doubt that the boy scouts are teaching boys to be gay. Why, I overheard a scoutmaster teaching a bunch of lads how to pitch a tent!

  16. teetop said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:46

    The comments on the original article are awesome. My only gripe, somebody says that Chuck Norris never made a good movie or TV show in his life. BS. He was in the greatest martial arts movie ever, Enter the Dragon–in which Bruce Lee kicks his ass.

  17. N__B said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:48

    Why, I overheard a scoutmaster teaching a bunch of lads how to pitch a tent!

    They’re supposed to be cheerful. Which means gay!
    And obedient!
    And clean!

  18. Bitter Scribe said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:55

    Chuck’s gettin’ blasted in the comments.

    Damn, is he ever! Sweet to read.

    The BSA apparently can’t tell the difference between gays and pedophiles. I say “apparently” because I can’t tell if this is a cynical attempt to conflate the two, as the Catholic clergy so often does to deflect outrage over pedophile priests.

  19. tsam said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:56

    Enter the Dragon–in which Bruce Lee kicks his ass.

    Especially when he rips part of the front of chuck’s sweater off him! That was AWESOME!

  20. tsam said,

    June 28, 2012 at 21:57

    as the Catholic clergy so often does to deflect outrage over pedophile priests.

    Oddly enough, it sort of works among people who have to buy velcro fastening shoes.

  21. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:01

    Chuck starts fourteen paragraphs with “Is it a coincidence that …” (and a fifteenth features it a few words further in).

    Yes, Chuck, fifteen times yes? What he never bothers doing is establishing Turley’s views prior to receiving Favors ‘n’ Perks from Obama. If Turley has been this way prior, why then the F&Ps might be for other purposes than perverting the Boy Scouts, or just part and parcel of being in Turley’s circle, which is more rarefied and liberal than Chuck’s.

    “These Turley-Obama cords, connections and correlations are only the tip of the iceberg.” — Because Chuck has 50% more irrelevant cords, connections, and correlations! but no iceberg. He’s got fifteen cubes he’s calling iceberg tips, and they’re melting as we speak.

    I think that Chuck is jealous that his involvement with the BSoA is not as high-level as Turley’s or Obama’s. Maybe the org does not want to consign itself to a dwindling wingnut ghetto by embracing bigotry and being associated with cretinous clowns. I dunno.

  22. Chris said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:04

    From Chuck;

    If two people think so much alike, you can bet that one person isn’t thinking.

    Thank you for confirming my suspicion that the vast and overwhelming majority of conservative voters aren’t thinking at all.

  23. tsam said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:06

    If two people think so much alike, you can bet that one person isn’t thinking.

    HE STOLED THAT FROM EMERSON OR THOREAU OR SOME SMARTY PANTS WRITER TYPE

  24. tsam said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:07

    I’m kidding, he probably stole it from a modern statesman like Rush.

  25. Pryme said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:11

    So he has the same opinion/theory as a 14-year-old “rising conservative star” from You Tube.

  26. tsam said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:16

    We had a mayor here in Spokane for a while who was a Scoutmaster. He was also a pedophile. He was also gay. He was also installed to give the local ruling family a parking garage for their upscale mall for free. He also tried to criminalize teen on teen sex while in the state legislature. He also talked an awful lot about family values and such. He was Sherrif’s deputy for a long time. Through and through Republican. His downfall was when he was caught using his royal mayorly computer to have sexytalk with underaged males.

    I’m guessing Jim West and Suck-a-Chub Chuck would have been thick as thieves. Fortunately, Jim West died of (hopefully excruciating) cancer.

  27. Hoosier X said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:21

    Fortunately, Jim West died of (hopefully excruciating) cancer.

    Typical libtard homophobia!

  28. Major Kong said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:23

    Say, ain’t that Norris feller one o’ them elitist Hollywood actor types?

  29. N__B said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:27

    Say, ain’t that Norris feller one o’ them elitist Hollywood actor types?

    He’s no actor.

  30. DAS said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:31

    Webelos gay? Who’d a thunk it? When I was in Webelos and then in Boy Scouts, we’d always joke that Webelos was short for “We Blow Loyal Scouts”.

    Seriously, though, as an Eagle Scout, I do hope that the Boy Scouts will become gay friendly. Growing up in an area with a reasonable amount of fundie-antics occurring and also being not the most stereotypically proto-masculine of boys (I was a nerd and hence more interested in books than sports), Boy Scouts was an excellent environment to explore my more athletic and out-doorsy side while still being rewarded (yeah merit badges!) for being smart. It also gave me a chance to interact more with other boys (outside of my fellow nerd-herd, I generally interacted with girls because they were less threatening and, speaking as a heterosexual, a helluva lot easier on the eyes!) as well as to interact with other people who were religious but whose religious views differed from my own. In short it was a really good social experience for me.

    Hence, it has pained me to see the anti-gay direction the organization took (it wasn’t like that when I was in Scouts … or at least not obviously so), and I would love to get back into the organization if it is a friendly place to be: if it’s not friendly to boys who differ from the typical straight Christian boy by being, well, not straight, how friendly could it be to boys who differ in other ways?

    I don’t have time to wade through infested waters to get rotten mangos, so I am not following the link now, but I do hope the BSA is turning around and becoming more like the girl scouts in this regard (and I do hope that the girl scouts will do more and more out-doorsy stuff to teach girls that it’s ok to be a girl and be sporty, out-doorsy, etc.).

  31. DAS said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:34

    Why, I overheard a scoutmaster teaching a bunch of lads how to pitch a tent! – B^4

    I remember one time my dad and I purchased a new tent (made in Korea) that was particularly fancy and complicated, so we had to turn to the manual to figure out how to pitch the thing. Someone really goofed in the translation because the heading for the directions was “erection instructions”.

  32. Chris said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:37

    Say, ain’t that Norris feller one o’ them elitist Hollywood actor types?

    Him and John Wayne and Ronald Reagan and Charlton Heston and Clint Eastwood and Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone and Mel Gibson and Jon Voight and Ben Stein and Fred Thompson and Ahnuld the Governator. Yep, that’s Liberal Hollywood.

  33. Major Kong said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:38

    Air Force survival school got camping out of my system for life. I happen to think indoor plumbing was a really great invention.

  34. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:47

    Since I took survival training at Happy Camper Camp in McMurdo Station Antarctica, I can pitch a tent in a blizzard.

  35. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:47

    Today I learned that there is a beetle called the “cockchafer.” (I am processing an artist’s papers, and he had a fine captioned photo of a cockchafer clipped from Nat. Geo.) Wikipedia provides some colorful paragraphs:

    Collecting adults was an only moderately successful method. In the Middle Ages, pest control was rare, and people had no effective means to protect their harvest. This gave rise to events that seem bizarre from a modern perspective. In 1320, for instance, cockchafers were brought to court in Avignon and sentenced to withdraw within three days onto a specially designated area, otherwise they would be outlawed. Subsequently since they failed to comply, they were collected and killed. (Similar animal trials also occurred for many other animals in the Middle Ages.)[3]

    In some areas and times, cockchafers were even served as food. A 19th century recipe from France for cockchafer soup reads: “roast one pound of cockchafers without wings and legs in sizzling butter, then cook them in a chicken soup, add some veal liver and serve with chives on a toast”. And a German newspaper from Fulda from the 1920s tells of students eating sugar-coated cockchafers. A cockchafer stew is referred to in W.G. Sebald’s novel The Emigrants.

  36. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:50

    How could I have missed: Children since antiquity have played with cockchafers.

  37. bbkf said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:50

    so THIS is where everybody’s at…g dang it! i just posted some choice ‘one l two ns’ word salads from yesterday on the last post…jeepers…

  38. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:52

    Someone really goofed in the translation because the heading for the directions was “erection instructions”.

    Well, I dunno. In the building trades, there are people who unironically describe themselves as “erection specialists.” They have a number of magazines and journals with titles like that. At a glance I pegged them as skyscraper guys.

  39. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:52

    And so the fuck what if he was, you gigantic bearded prick? Go roundhouse yourself in the FACE.

  40. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:54

    Well, I dunno. In the building trades, there are people who unironically describe themselves as “erection specialists.” They have a number of magazines and journals with titles like that

    Do they seek medical attention if it lasts more than 3 hours?

  41. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:56

    Stupid tagfail

  42. Spearhafoc, who needs to change his nym every once in a while said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:57

    Speaking of Scouts, I enjoyed Moonrise Kingdom. See it if you like that Wes Anderson quirky crap.

  43. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 22:57

    I wanna believe that when “erection specialists” of any kind hold a conference, the bar for dick jokes is set very high. You gotta bring your A-game.

  44. Bitter Scribe said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:03

    On the Saturday Night Live episode that Gerald Ford’s press secretary guest-hosted, Gilda Radner did an Emily Litella rant on “presidential erections.” It was originally going to be about, you know, but the censors made them change it to buildings.

  45. bbkf said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:10

    hahahahahah…i love this comment excerpt written by an eagle scout:

    I’m saddened by your words here, Mr. Norris. But more so, I’m saddened by the reach of the name “Chuck Norris” has in media with this particular message. You’re just an actor, Sir. A good one, granted. I’ll never forget how you awesome you were when, at 12 I saw you EXPLODE Richard Lynch (RIP) in a Office Skyscraper Hallway Bazooka Shootout at the end of “Invasion U.S.A.” on HBO. I’ll always respect those stimulating intellectual conversations you probably had with Christie Brinkley on the set of the Total Gym infomercials. Hell, you were once a phenomenal martial artist, lucky enough to train on occasion with Bruce Lee himself. You have my respect for your accomplishments, but you do not have my respect for sharing this opinion.

    If you’re looking to write a letter addressing a Real problem in this organization, Mr. Norris, please urge the BSA to publicly open its “perversion files” for Law Enforcement investigation. Why worry so much about the Potential influence of gays on Boy Scouts when there are so many unsolved molestation cases ruining the lives of young men in the BSA so far?

    also, mayor r.t. ryback is chewing joe soucheray’s ass on the air…today is turning out to be the most AWESOMEST EVAR!

  46. bbkf said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:11

    oooh…now mayor r.t. ryback just swore on the air! twice!

  47. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:13

    It was originally going to be about, you know, but the censors made them change it to buildings.

    We’re a stolid people who need a proper excuse to talk about a president’s penis for twenty-odd years.

  48. Thread Bear said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:19

    So Chuck Norris got the memo that said “Oh Boy, SCOTUS of America is to be our big target today”, and ran with it in the completely wrong direction.

  49. N__B said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:24

    More genius: http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/06/disbelief/comment-page-1#comment-287928

  50. Spearhafoc, who needs to change his nym every once in a while said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:27

    People threatening to move to Canada over Healthcare Reform being declared Constitutional.

  51. bbkf said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:33

    i’m off to work at the club…looking forward to the olds coming out in force to eat ALL U CAN EAT SHRIMP to be bitching up a storm about the socialism which took place today…i shall have a large martini for all of you…

  52. Golem Heart said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:39

    LOL at those moving-to-Canada tweets.

    Sidebar add or link there: “Man Magically Cured of Erectile Dysfunction After Drinking Wife’s Breast Milk”

    Cured by magic, or as if by magic?… Either way, I think he is just the sorta guy that gets turned on by drinking his wife’s breast milk. That’s all that does it for him anymore. Trying to imply there’s a folk remedy here is just naive.

  53. BringTheNoise said,

    June 28, 2012 at 23:48

    I really wish the BSA would catch up with virtually every other Scout movement in the fucking world and drop the sexism, homophobia and atheist-bashing. Makes the rest of us look bad…

  54. Wyatt Watts III said,

    June 29, 2012 at 0:06

    By law this must be posted every time Chuck Norris starts babbling about the gays, but if this doesn’t seriously ping your gaydar you’re probably still dreaming that nice Anderson Cooper will someday marry your daughter:

    Chuck Norris, clearly auditioning for the Village People

    Chuck doth protest too much, yadda yadda etc. etc. and so forth.

  55. tsam said,

    June 29, 2012 at 0:23

    People threatening to move to Canada over Healthcare Reform being declared Constitutional.

    They’re moving to the country they use as an example of just how scary and evil socialized medicine is to argue against a health plan that has almost no social aspect to it whatsoever…

    SUPER GENIUSES!

  56. noen said,

    June 29, 2012 at 0:31

    Conservatives trying to move to Canada are in for a big surprise. You can move to a new home there but your money, in the form of tax returns, still belongs to Uncle Sam. And if you try to take your money out of the US there’s a pretty heavy penalty, or is it tax, for doing so. And you have to renounce your US citizenship. Which should tell us just how “patriotic” they really are.

  57. M. Bouffant said,

    June 29, 2012 at 0:38

    I s’pect Chuck is angry because Mormon domination of the BSA is threatened.

  58. RWW said,

    June 29, 2012 at 0:58

    Wingnut welfare is possible for a has-been-actor & clapped-out Kung Fu jerk.

  59. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 29, 2012 at 0:59

    People threatening to move to Canada

    Even here there is gum to be cleaned off sidewalks and such.

  60. tsam said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:17

    Sub, jim, DKW, Lurking Canadian: If you come in contact with any of these illegal immigrants flooding your borders and stealing your jobs and getting all that free health care and welfare, I hope you treat them accordingly. I suggest you build a dang fence.

  61. Nym said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:17

    Enter the Dragon–in which Bruce Lee kicks his ass.

    It was Way of the Dragon, actually. Enter… is where Bruce Lee kicks the asses of Sammo Hung and Jackie Chan way back before anyone really knew who they were.

  62. Nym said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:18

    Oh, and there is of course much wailing and gnashing of teeth from wingnuts on Twitter. I sort of wish one of them would choke on their own tongue.

  63. M. Bouffant said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:19

    Even here there is gum to be cleaned off sidewalks and such.

    I think Singapore has dealt w/ that problem. But if you don’t want to go that route, all the clowns invading you (not actually likely to happen) will probably be competent to scrape gum, so at least there’ll be work for them.

  64. Pupienus said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:26

    a cynical attempt to conflate the two, as the Catholic clergy so often does to deflect outrage over pedophile priests.

    Relevant.

  65. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:58

    Especially when he rips part of the front of chuck’s sweater off him! That was AWESOME!

    Yeah, you could have cut the sexual tension with a knife. No wonder Chuck doth protest too much.

    The photoshop is great, he looks like “Streetwalker, Texas Ranger”.

  66. Pupienus said,

    June 29, 2012 at 1:58

    Someone at FearRepublic has figured it out! Roberts changed his vote when Sandusky was convicted. Out of fear. Of something. They didn’t specify.

  67. M. Bouffant said,

    June 29, 2012 at 2:09

    Here’s the full whatever on the Roberts blackmail.

  68. Gary Ruppert said,

    June 29, 2012 at 2:18

    The fact is, America is now in the hands of the leftist redistributionists. US PATRIOTS must rise up and remove the illigitimit ueslurpers of the hard, far left and replace the SUmpreme Court with a panel of balanced viewpoints, since none of them udnertsnat the cositiution, and the poriginal intent of NO TAXES and FREEDOM

  69. Whale Chowder said,

    June 29, 2012 at 2:22

    ueslurpers of the hard, far left

    Hm, all reports I had were that Roberts, Scalia, Thomas all swung to the right.

  70. Whale Chowder said,

    June 29, 2012 at 2:24

    …but then perhaps Gary has “inside the beltway” information.

  71. Spearhafoc, who needs to change his nym every once in a while said,

    June 29, 2012 at 2:25

    Sub, jim, DKW, Lurking Canadian

    *Ahem*

  72. Bitter Scribe said,

    June 29, 2012 at 2:30

    remove the illigitimit ueslurpers

    Isn’t U.E. Slurper a 7-Eleven mascot?

  73. Pryme said,

    June 29, 2012 at 3:01

    After some extensive research, I think I may have found the cause of Norris’ ire.

  74. Pupienus said,

    June 29, 2012 at 3:15

    Here’s the full whatever on the Roberts blackmail.

    Ruh roh. When the tape isn’t brought forth I bet there will be a missing, presumed dead, SS agent.

  75. Gordon, the Dancing Octoroon said,

    June 29, 2012 at 3:21

    Chuck Norris is a fag. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress

  76. Gary Ruppert said,

    June 29, 2012 at 3:28

    The fact is, Hitler made heath care free just before he killed all the Jews. Obama will do the same to all the white people.

  77. Gary Ruppert said,

    June 29, 2012 at 3:55

    The fact is, the liberals are the gay ones.
    Socialism.
    Hitler.
    Unconsitutional.
    Tax.
    Obama is raising taxes on the middle class and liberals cheer? How hippocratical.

  78. tigris said,

    June 29, 2012 at 4:11

    If two people think so much alike, you can bet that one person isn’t thinking.

    So who thought that one up for you, Einstein?

  79. tigris said,

    June 29, 2012 at 4:14

    Socialism.
    Hitler.
    Unconsitutional.
    Tax.

    US
    PATRIOTS.

    That’s why.

  80. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 29, 2012 at 4:49

    What are they gonna regulate next, LIEBERALS?

    He said the doctors at Metropolitan told him he was “a little paranoid.” It was obvious from talking to him that he is troubled. But he told a lucid and detailed account of his life, and he told of his own dark past, one that might alarm parents whose children have posed with him. The tale he told underscored just how little is known about the men and women who dress as various children’s characters in tourist-clogged areas, looking for small tips. This tiny industry is unregulated.

  81. jim, examiner of kernings said,

    June 29, 2012 at 5:29

    DAT PHOTOSHOP … also, DEM COMMENTS!

    Seems the mythical power of NorrisBeard avails him not a jot in Ammoland.

    I suggest you build a dang fence.

    Why bother? Can’t imagine too many Good Ole Boyz will last to the end of one good stiff Manitoba winter.

    Irony Alert: Algore is now officially fatter than EVAR!

  82. The Bear said,

    June 29, 2012 at 10:04

    After some extensive research, I think I may have found the cause of Norris’ ire.

    You don’t really come here for the hunting, now do you.

  83. Another Kiwi said,

    June 29, 2012 at 10:14

    Hoo boy, Chuckles is getting the snot round-house kicked out him in the comments. That is justice my friends.

  84. Marsupial said,

    June 29, 2012 at 10:44

    Chuck Norris is a fag. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress

    I thought that was John Wayne. Man, I can’t keep up with these guys anymore!

    (BTW — so what? Lots of guys like to watch their buddies fuck… I know I do!)

  85. Marsupial said,

    June 29, 2012 at 11:24

    Wow… that reads weird if you don’t know the context.

  86. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 15:14

    whoa…the weather channel is in meltdown mode over the extreme heat in the nether regions of the u.s…it’s almost as if it has never been hot there before…don’t they know algore is fat?

  87. N__B said,

    June 29, 2012 at 15:18

    extreme heat in the nether regions of the u.s.

    After reading this, I may never have sex again.

  88. N__B said,

    June 29, 2012 at 15:28

    Also, blogwhore: Mini__B is showing furry tendencies.

  89. smedley said,

    June 29, 2012 at 16:07

    “Also, blogwhore: Mini__B is showing furry tendencies”

    Can he give us an unbiased review of “Ted?” I don’t trust the anti-furry MSM.

  90. boconn13 said,

    June 29, 2012 at 16:16

    They’ll pry the broccoli from my cold dead hand!

  91. LanceThruster said,

    June 29, 2012 at 16:43

    Are there/were there *any* Reich Wing members of the entertainment community that aren’t/weren’t philosophically stunted blowhards and know-nothings? Even Johnny Ramone seemed to praise Reagan as a response to the liberal wing wanting to help and always having a “cause” they expected everyone to get on board for.

    Nowadays, it seems the selfishness as a virtue crowd and the permissiveness of Hollywood backlash creates strange bedfellows. Conservative eye candy Heather Locklear bangs bad boy rocker Tommy Lee…Kid Rock and the Motor City Meltdown man like swimming against the tide as if that makes them trail blazers rather than merely casting their lot with fear- and hate-mongers.

    I love the remarkably sage wisdom and clarity from a Craig T. Nelson who declared without a trace of irony that, ” “I’ve been on food stamps and welfare and nobody helped me out”.

  92. Esteev said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:02

    Hm, all reports I had were that Roberts, Scalia, Thomas all swung short, shriveled and always to the right.

    Fiqt

    Also–I’ve missed this place.

  93. tsam said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:03

    And we’ve missed you, dude. Where da fuck you been?

  94. Esteev said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:04

    Where da fuck you been?

    Finding work. Losing work. Finding it again. Seems like I’m good now!

    I’ve been lurking though, don’t worry.

  95. tsam said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:11

    *Ahem*

    Spear–I had no idea you lived in Canada. Where in Canada? How does this tie in with your obsession with Mistress Christina and her heavenly breasts?

  96. tsam said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:13

    Kid Rock and the Motor City Meltdown man like swimming against the tide as if that makes them trail blazers rather than merely casting their lot with fear- and hate-mongers.

    You mean covering Skynard songs DOESN’T make one a trail blazer? Shit. I better rethink my next music project.

  97. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:16

    N__B, you n00b.

    You can’t call it a ‘blogwhore’ if you don’t post the link.
    ~

  98. N__B said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:18

    Can he give us an unbiased review of “Ted?”

    Sure. Can you understand his emphatic gibberish?

  99. Esteev said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:26

    Mel Gibson and Jon Voight and Ben Stein

    That would make for a great Lethal Weapon-Anaconda type documentary about Intelligent Design.

  100. Pupienus said,

    June 29, 2012 at 17:41

    Wait – that’s a PHOTOSHOP?!!??!

  101. smedley said,

    June 29, 2012 at 18:07

    “Can you understand his emphatic gibberish?”

    Maybe. If it is emphatic, it is prolly urgent. There are only a handful of urgencies in a wee one’s world. The most urgent of the urgencies is hunger. But, that doesn’t help me to determine if “Ted” is worth seeing. Most movie critics write gibberish, but I can’t remember any “emphatic” gibberish.

  102. El Manquecito said,

    June 29, 2012 at 18:10

    You mean covering Skynard songs DOESN’T make one a trail blazer?

    Shhhh. Don’t tell Larry Cordle.

  103. N__B said,

    June 29, 2012 at 18:11

    There are only a handful of urgencies in a wee one’s world.

    In general, maybe. He seems to think everything’s urgent except when he suddenly stops and stares at a toe (sometimes his, sometimes mine) for two minutes without blinking.

  104. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®☢☣ said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:11

    That would make for a great Lethal Weapon-Anaconda type documentary about Intelligent Design.

    If I begin attempting to wrap my head around the confluence of disturbations this thing brings to mind, my head will splode.

  105. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:13

    He seems to think everything’s urgent except when he suddenly stops and stares at a toe (sometimes his, sometimes mine) for two minutes without blinking

    well at least he isn’t practicing masturbatory navel gazing…i hear that’s bad…

  106. Whale Chowder said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:25

    I don’t know about you but it’s usually not my navel I’m gazing at while I’m mastur…um, forget I said anything.

  107. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:32

    do whales even HAVE navels?

  108. kg said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:32

    Hey as long as you don’t have issues looking into a blue diamond then you’re probably ok.

  109. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:35

    I don’t know about you but it’s usually not my navel I’m gazing at while I’m mastur…um, forget I said anything.

    Ha ha, Whale Chowder has the least-sexy navel around.

  110. tigris said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:53

    do whales even HAVE navels?

    OMG

  111. Golem Heart said,

    June 29, 2012 at 19:57

    He seems to think everything’s urgent except when he suddenly stops and stares at a toe (sometimes his, sometimes mine) for two minutes without blinking

    Kids learn more in their first few years than in the rest of their lives, or something like that, so I guess staring at that toe is a cognitive explosion now unfathomable to us as adults.

    Now we stare because of psychedelics, or an artistic temperament, or often dumbly without seeing.

  112. smedley said,

    June 29, 2012 at 20:21

    tigris, please. NSFW warnings cost nothing!

  113. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 20:22

    OMG

    yes, that is quite the navel…

  114. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 20:23

    also, too…whaley will prolly be in his bunk for a while…

  115. N__B said,

    June 29, 2012 at 20:32

    Kids learn more in their first few years than in the rest of their lives, or something like that, so I guess staring at that toe is a cognitive explosion now unfathomable to us as adults.

    True. He’s learned (without any help) to simulate getting stoned by twirling in place until he’s dizzy.

  116. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 29, 2012 at 20:37

    do whales even HAVE navels?

    Sounds like somebody’s got to watch some teevee!

  117. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 29, 2012 at 20:41

    Welcome back, Esteev. We may not have any “fatted calf” for the prodigal, but there’s always plenty of POOP!

  118. kg said,

    June 29, 2012 at 21:10

    http://wonkette.com/476891/rep-jean-schmidt-has-public-orgasm-over-incorrect-cnn-health-care-scoop

    mean jean delivers

  119. Whale Chowder said,

    June 29, 2012 at 21:13

    OMG

    Oooh, baby!

  120. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 29, 2012 at 21:14

    Typical government worker, idling and orgasming on the job.

    Excuse me a minute.

  121. Spearhafoc, who needs to change his nym every once in a while said,

    June 29, 2012 at 21:23

    Where in Canada?

    Toronto. I’d say “Leafs Suck!”, but that would require me to care about hockey.

  122. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 29, 2012 at 21:53

    Typical government worker, idling and orgasming on the job.

    “Working in the pubic sector…”

  123. tigris said,

    June 29, 2012 at 22:07

    http://wonkette.com/476891/rep-jean-schmidt-has-public-orgasm-over-incorrect-cnn-health-care-scoop

    BLERGH.

  124. LittlePig said,

    June 29, 2012 at 22:16

    BLERGH.

    Like a Wonketteer said, there’s not enough brain bleach in the multiverse.

  125. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 29, 2012 at 22:48

    PENIS

  126. tsam said,

    June 29, 2012 at 22:54

    Based on the trailers I saw, I WILL be going to see Ted.

    You got Mila Kunis (OMG SO FUCKING HOT), and the Family Guy guy, who I think is incredibly funny.

  127. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 23:16

    You got Mila Kunis (OMG SO FUCKING HOT), and the Family Guy guy, who I think is incredibly funny.

    mark wahlberg, also too…ted can only be a win/win…

  128. bbkf said,

    June 29, 2012 at 23:22

    i might barf: soucheray and his callers are praising krauthammer and his recent output of poopy…

  129. Pupienus said,

    June 30, 2012 at 1:19

    Just saw Ted. Most of the humor is a wee bit advanced for mini__B but not TOO far advanced. Most excellently juvenile.

  130. N__B said,

    June 30, 2012 at 1:37

    Most of the humor is a wee bit advanced for mini__B but not TOO far advanced.

    Mini__B is not amused by POOP, so I fear he’s left his McFarlane days behind. So to speak.

  131. Pupienus said,

    June 30, 2012 at 2:12

    So Boner is appealing DOMA to the supremes. Apart from the hilarity of the admin arguing against while hacks hired by Speaker Boner argue for, it’s pretty fucking disgusting. I am almost tempted to see what GayPutzRiot has to say in praise of the blessed conservatives using him as a political football. Almost.

  132. jim, examiner of kernings said,

    June 30, 2012 at 4:35

    It’s funny because it’s cruel!

  133. jim, examiner of kernings said,

    June 30, 2012 at 5:23

    A marked deck?
    In MY Free Market Casino?

    It’s more likely than you think … as in 100% likely.

  134. Chris said,

    June 30, 2012 at 5:46

    Went back to PJMedia today to see how my personal source of wingnut news is faring. Sure enough, major case of Teh Sadz.

    “Your Own Private 21 Tax Salute: The clock is ticking on ObamaCare, the mother, grandmother, and great aunt of all taxes.”
    “Standing Athwart ‘Fundamental Transformation:’ After yesterday’s ObamaCare decision, it’s time to man up and realize we’re in the fight of our lives — and one with no pre-ordained guarantee of victory.”
    “Justice Roberts’ Reckless Restraint: Was this capitulation? Is he irrational or cowardly? Off his meds? You decide.”
    “ObamaCare Ruling: Pure Fraud And No Due Process: Led by Chief Justice Roberts, the Supreme Court has decided that Americans have no right to due process.”
    “A Modest Proposal: The chief justice threw down the gauntlet on Thursday to those of us who support limited government.”
    “The Supremes Got It Fundamentally Wrong: The Court has issued a ruling with terrible implications for the future.”
    “SCOTUS & Obamacare: The Search For A Silver Lining: Did John Roberts hand the president a legislative victory in one hand and political doom in the other?”
    “What Should Americans Do After The Supreme Court ObamaCare Ruling? We can still reclaim our freedoms.”

    They are truly in full freakout and meltdown mode. I don’t think they were even this mad when the ACA actually passed – probably because they were hoping for something like this to go their way. No, I won’t actually click on any of the articles, but the titles and shorters are delicious enough.

    Think my favorite is this one, though:

    “Did President Obama Just Win Re-Election? Four reasons why the SCOTUS decision on Obamacare might give the president’s re-election chances a big boost.”

  135. jim, examiner of kernings said,

    June 30, 2012 at 5:48

    NO PRE-ORDAINED GUARANTEE OF VICTORY IS THEFT!

  136. jim, examiner of kernings said,

    June 30, 2012 at 5:53

    “Did President Obama Just Win Re-Election?”

    Wow … PJM actually referred to Obama as “President,” for real?!?

    It’s official.

  137. Golem Heart said,

    June 30, 2012 at 6:53

    “Your Own Private 21 Tax Salute: The clock is ticking on ObamaCare, the mother, grandmother, and great aunt of all taxes.”

    If you never paid taxes of various kinds, and understood them only in some abstract sense, and very dimly at that, you might write this sentence and mean it. You’d need to know ObamaCare as a placeholder noun, bereft of meaning.

    The “X, Y, and Z of all taxes” construction should be done better, or not at all. Not to mention the 21 gun salute thing. Lo, a human named Robert Kimball produced this sentence and declared it good. I feel as yucky and alienated as a Watcher Out of Time.

  138. Chris said,

    June 30, 2012 at 7:02

    It’s official.

    Glenn Beck’s face about covers it.

    Their reactions just feel different this time. When we passed the ACA, it was all “YOU THINK IT’S OVER? IT’LL NEVER BE OVER! I’LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!” That’s been going around this time too, but it feels like there’s a lot more depression and resignation mixed in. Less “Wolverines!” and more “We’re doomed!”

  139. Major Kong said,

    June 30, 2012 at 12:55

    Just thought you’d like to see what I have to put up with at work. I copied this from the airline pilot forums.

    Not sure if that was sarcasm, but foxnews is not “conservative”. They don’t try to shove the leftist idea down your throat like other outlets, but they are middle of the road AT BEST. Left-leaning folks love to talk about the evil, conservative foxnews; very comical. Bill o’reilly is a liberal….always has been. Real conservatives like glen beck, michael savage get fired.

    Here’s a link to the original:

    http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/cargo/68388-interesting-drone-article.html#post1222039

  140. Lurking Canadian said,

    June 30, 2012 at 13:36

    Sub, jim, DKW, Lurking Canadian: If you come in contact with any of these illegal immigrants flooding your borders and stealing your jobs and getting all that free health care and welfare, I hope you treat them accordingly. I suggest you build a dang fence.

    I’m going to push for a law that all obnoxious white people with bad hair will need to present citizenship papers on demand.

  141. N__B said,

    June 30, 2012 at 15:46

    Glenn Beck’s face about covers it.

    Now I want to print up some motel-toilet-seat wraps with Beck’s face next to “Sanitized for your protection.”

  142. Jennifer said,

    June 30, 2012 at 16:08

    Hey Sadlies, just back from job training on how to sell wind-up clacker teeth, nose candy dispensers & etc. and had to share this story from the road trip:

    On the way back home yesterday, in the wake of our glorious victory, I stopped to fill up at Sulphur Springs, Texas, where gas is currently going for the low low price of $2.93 per gallon. While I was filling up, a black gentleman walks up to look at the pump and says, “I just want to check what they’re getting for premium since it’s $2.93 for regular.” We start up a conversation along with some folks at the next pump over – the guy says he’s from Oklahoma and gas is still way higher there; the woman at the next pump over says it’s been going for $3.29 in Dallas, I remark that it’s just under $3 in Arkansas, and the guy from Oklahoma is getting agitated because it’s so much higher where he’s from. Finally I said “it’s amazing what having the president announce he’s going to investigate speculation in the oil market will do for prices, isn’t it? They started going down the very next week, and so far, they’re down by a dollar.” The guy from Oklahoma vigorously agrees, and looking out of the corner of my eye I can see I’m getting the stink-eye from pretty much every Texan filling up around me, I suppose for the cardinal sin of letting on to the black guy that I didn’t consider the president to be illegitimate because he’s black. Or whatever. I suppose the only reason none of them went full wingnut on me is that they were still reeling from the shocked butthurt of the SC decision. But it did effectively end the conversation with everyone other than myself and dude from OK.

  143. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    June 30, 2012 at 18:35

    nose candy dispensers

    Is coke still a going concern?
    .

  144. jim, examiner of kernings said,

    June 30, 2012 at 18:53

    When we passed the ACA, it was all “YOU THINK IT’S OVER? IT’LL NEVER BE OVER! I’LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!” That’s been going around this time too, but it feels like there’s a lot more depression and resignation mixed in

    You think it’s beginning to actually finally fully sink in that a shiny new round of fragging other folks’ kids for a cheap thrill war-chubby, funnelling MOAR gratuitous cosmic fucktons of graft & bailout dosh to the usual criminal corporatist detritus unto infinity, mandatory school sermons as to how a totally civilization-destroying Armageddon is both unavoidable & beautiful or why Darwin was possessed by Satan, & weekly visits from the cheerful speculum-jockeys of Supreme Elder Romney’s GodLaw™ Uterus Police isn’t exactly a delectable menu to be offering to Amerika in 2012?

    Some might argue they’re thoroughly enjoying shitting in the republic’s cornflakes (& its future) far too much to even so much as slow down, let alone stop. Some might also very much prefer to see that tendency cease indefinitely.

    Lucidity has consequences.

  145. Pupienus said,

    June 30, 2012 at 19:19

    Naw, jim, they won’t change. The ones who, during those town hall meetings, screamed “they’re not listening to us!” when what was actually goingon was they weren’t getting their way, are true believers. Lucidity is not one of their virtues – not to imply they have any virtues to begin with.

    There are a couple spots of sunshine though. Independents are slightly more approving of the SC decision than not. And about 50% now think the Rs are deliberately sabotaging the recovery, which they are. One can hope that strategy will turn out to be a self-hoisting petard of awesome potency.

    Fuck! Teh Ho swapped my glasses for the rose tinted pair! Never mind the above.

  146. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 30, 2012 at 19:19

    I suppose the only reason none of them went full wingnut on me is that they were still reeling from the shocked butthurt of the SC decision. But it did effectively end the conversation with everyone other than myself and dude from OK.

    They weren’t protected by the anonymity of the internet.

  147. Jennifer said,

    June 30, 2012 at 19:34

    BTW, the ONLY thing that could make that pshop better?

    If you could see the Hello Kitty panties pooled around his ankles.

  148. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 30, 2012 at 19:40

    Ugh, gotta work outside all day- summer fundraiser and all. I think I’m gonna f-in’ melt.

    I need a job selling clacking teeth…

  149. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 30, 2012 at 19:42

    If you could see the Hello Kitty panties pooled around his ankles.

    Pooling the panties…

  150. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    June 30, 2012 at 19:56

    Testing irrigation backflows in 108F… Yee-the-fuck-HAW.
    .

  151. gocart mozart said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:09

    On a related note, Shorter: The Virgin Ben, “This is the greatest outrage since Dred Scott was forced to accept free room and board!”

    Actual Quote which is sillier:
    “This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration.”

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/40546_Health_Care_Mandate_Upheld_by_Supreme_Court?tw_p=twt

  152. Minnesota Fats said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:10

    Panty pool doesn’t pay as well as the regular kind, but it sure as hell is more fun!

  153. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:11

    Panty pool doesn’t pay as well as the regular kind

    Regular = pocket?
    .

  154. gocart mozart said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:31

    Also too http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/06/28/wingnut-classics-illustrated/

  155. Whale Chowder said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:36

    Just finished reading the Fortune article linked from here. I wasn’t sure what to think about the Fast-n-Furry-ous “controversy” before but I sure am now.

    SPOILER ALERT: It’s a fucking Republican witch hunt. Again.

  156. N__B said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:44

    “This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott.”

    Does this mean that in 140 years there’s going to be a controversial artist named ACA?

  157. Pupienus said,

    June 30, 2012 at 20:59

    Ahem.

  158. Golem Heart said,

    June 30, 2012 at 21:23

    “Fast-n-Furry-ous”

    I dunno what would constitute a federal furry sting operation, or how it could go horribly wrong, but there seems to be comedic potential in the idea.

  159. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 30, 2012 at 21:32

    I would love to see a zombie type horror film, but with furries instead. “shoot him in the head its the only way to stop ‘em!”, or “once they’ve yiffed you, you only got live 3-4 hours before your’re sewing your own fursona!”

  160. Nym said,

    June 30, 2012 at 22:06

    there seems to be comedic potential in the idea.

    There was, but not in the way you’re thinking.

  161. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    June 30, 2012 at 22:07

    I would love to see a zombie type horror film, but with furries instead. “shoot him in the head its the only way to stop ‘em!”, or “once they’ve yiffed you, you only got live 3-4 hours before your’re sewing your own fursona!”

    THAT is SHEER fucking GENIUS.
    .

  162. Another Kiwi said,

    June 30, 2012 at 22:22

    Just finished reading the Fortune article linked from here. I wasn’t sure what to think about the Fast-n-Furry-ous “controversy” before but I sure am now.

    SPOILER ALERT: It’s a fucking Republican witch hunt. Again.
    I read that too and as well as “Golly gee willikers, the Republicans were lying????” The thing that was most disturbing was the internal strife in the ATF team. What fucking awful people, “Mah authoritah is moar important than catching the bad guys” and suspects who turned out to be FBI informants? No one would believe it in a movie,

  163. Golem Heart said,

    July 1, 2012 at 0:02

    THAT is SHEER fucking GENIUS.

    Yes, but what if the furry scene peters out before it gets made?

    What am I saying, it’s probably gonna metastatize & rule the world.

    A wayward astronaut will heard to say, “you damned furry … furries!”

  164. RWW said,

    July 1, 2012 at 0:08

    So if hate witch Malkkkin receives any government assistance for that fire situation surrounding her home, she’s going to be drug tested and vaginally probed first, right?

  165. Robert said,

    July 1, 2012 at 0:35

    Oh, RWW, now I have to schedule another ECT session.

  166. Anonymous said,

    July 1, 2012 at 0:57

    Indeed this was the death of individual liberty. I hope you all like Canadian-style waiting lists and some federal dipshit denying you life saving care because its just too expensive and you’re too old anyway.

    Even the Canadians, under Stephen Harper, are starting to abandon socialized medicine, and the NHS in the UK is being privatized bit by bit.

    Meanwhile we are going backwards

  167. Smut Clyde said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:00

    a federal furry sting operation

    I imagine that would involve a platypus.

  168. Whale Chowder said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:17

    I hope you all like Canadian-style waiting lists and some federal dipshit denying you life saving care because its just too expensive and you’re too old anyway.

    I imagine I’d like it every bit as well as some for-profit dipshit denying me coverage because I’m poor. Funny how Canadians are overall pretty damned satisfied with their miserable, horrible health care coverage. Dumbass.

  169. Whale Chowder said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:21

    The thing that was most disturbing was the internal strife in the ATF team.

    Well that and the lack of support and help from the federal prosecutors. “Yeah, we’re not going to try to prosecute that, come back with more evidence.”

  170. Anonymous said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:36

    Then why is the current Canadian government, both at the federal and provincial level, increasingly privatizing their system bit by bit? The UK is doing the same. There is now a nascent but booming for private healthcare system in the UK.

  171. Another Kiwi said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:44

    Yeah and the gun (not) laws in AZ. Phew I like this socialanist hell-hole sometimes

  172. Major Kong said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:45

    The power has been out here in Columbus since yesterday. They’re saying it could be 5 – 7 days. This sucks.

  173. Smut Clyde said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:51

    Indeed this was the death of individual liberty.[...] the NHS in the UK is being privatized bit by bit.

    Individual liberty: dead, or just having a wee lie down?

  174. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 1:58

    There is now a nascent but booming for private healthcare system in the UK.

    “Nascent,” is it?

    Hey, we have an expert here!
    .

  175. Another Kiwi said,

    July 1, 2012 at 2:19

    “It’s well known that Roberts, unfortunately for him, has suffered from epileptic seizures. Therefore he has been on medication. Neurologists will tell you that medication used for seizure disorders, such as epilepsy, can introduce mental slowing, forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. And if you look at Roberts’ writings you can see the cognitive disassociation in what he is saying.”
    - Michael “Ooga Booga” Savage quoted at Salon

  176. Golem Heart said,

    July 1, 2012 at 2:29

    Of course government services have never been privatized anywhere for any reason but because privatization is better and cheaper for the citizens.

    There are no historical examples of powerful interests seeking privatization of government services or assets because doing so would benefit them alone. Such people bray the loudest and longest for privatization because they care alot. Their pro-privatization expenditures are a form of charity, a gift to us all, and not merely selfish investments they hope to see repaid many times over.

    /snark off.

  177. Thread Bear said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:00

    I have decided that since corporations are people, I am going to look up all the corporations that are based in Arizona and order anything they have that might be useful to me. When the bills come I will then refuse to pay them until they can come up with a valid birth certificate or passport to prove they are US citizens. If they fail to do so, I will call Jan Brewer and demand they be arrested and deported!

  178. Lurking Canadian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:00

    Then why is the current Canadian government, both at the federal and provincial level, increasingly privatizing their system bit by bit?

    I could address the provincial part, if you told me which province you were talking about.

    At the federal level, the answer is easy. Stephen Harper is a US-style conservative, ideologue and control freak. The nationwide electorate is split into three roughly equal pieces. About 33% of the population votes for Harper because they hate taxes, dark-skinned people and fags. The rest of the population votes for ANYBODY BUT FUCKING HARPER, but because the Liberals and NDP can’t get their shit together and unify, Harper wound up with parliamentary majority, which allows him to do whatever he likes for the next four years or so.

    I’m not going to say “nobody” voted Conservative because they want to privatize healthcare nationally, but probably you could fit them all into a phone booth, or a board room at the Fraser Institute.

    Oh, and speaking as a Canadian who recently survived a life-threatening illness absolutely free of charge…yeah, you can keep your “freedom” with my blessing.

  179. Another Kiwi said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:14

    Well summarized LC. Speaking as someone whose family and friends have had some serious surgery in the last 4 years, We are fine with socialnism, thanks

  180. Thread Bear said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:43

    I have also been waiting a very long time for the Tea Party Clowns and their pet congress critters to start screaming for the privatization of the FDIC and FLIC federal insurance programs. I mean, after all, it’s all sociilesm and evil gubmint run insurance programs. And we all know that the gubmint can’t do insurance any where near as efficiently as the private sector. Why are those poor ol’ banksters mandated to have federal insurance? Sounds uncostitushanal to me!

  181. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:45

    FSLIC.
    .

  182. tigris said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:48

    Is there anyone who thinks, had Obama failed to pass health care, that Romney wouldn’t be running promising to achieve EXACTLY what we got? With conservatives cheering for exactly what they now decry?

  183. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:50

    Is there anyone who thinks, had Obama failed to pass health care, that Romney wouldn’t be running promising to achieve EXACTLY what we got? With conservatives cheering for exactly what they now decry?

    Likely, at least.
    .

  184. Thread Bear said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:52

    FSLIC.

    What are you, a federal insurance pendant* or something?

    * I just spell it that way to further annoy pedants.

  185. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:54

    What are you, a federal insurance pendant* or something?

    Har! I have to search for ways to contribute, y’know. ;)
    .

  186. Thread Bear said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:56

    Someone just e-mailed ma a nice pshop based on the movie poster for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Killer. This one features Mitt Romney Job Killer. It is very well done. I did a quick Google so I could add a link, but was unable to find it.

  187. Thread Bear said,

    July 1, 2012 at 3:58

    Har! I have to search for ways to contribute, y’know. ;)

    And I do my best to help out by supplying a constant barrage of typos. :)

  188. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 4:11

    E-mail me that photoshop, and I’ll host it for ya.
    .

  189. Major Kong said,

    July 1, 2012 at 4:19

    The power came back on. We’re doing the Snoopy dance here.

  190. N__B said,

    July 1, 2012 at 4:33

    We’re doing the Snoopy dance here.

    Do do do
    Do do do
    Do do
    Do do do do
    Dah dah dah dah dah dah
    Dah dah dah dah dah dah

  191. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 5:11

    I’m gonna do the poontang dance, and see if it works any better than Rick Perry’s multi-million dollar prayer rally.
    .

  192. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 5:15

    I seem to have a talent for finding the dead zones at S,N!
    .

  193. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 1, 2012 at 7:36

    I seem to have a talent for finding the dead zones at S,N!

    JP, you are likely to be eaten by a grue…

  194. M. Bouffant said,

    July 1, 2012 at 9:14

    Dead? This is when it’s best!!

  195. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 1, 2012 at 9:52

    Whoa, leave your fantasies out of it, old chum!

  196. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 1, 2012 at 13:50

    Christ, another coattail-riding legacy schmuck deciding to bag some tea. I heard about this idiot in an e-mail from a wingnut former co-worker. The grifters are trying to get “Sheriff Joe” some cashola by flogging “Fast and Furious”.

    A goddamn sucker’s born every minute.

  197. exford legs said,

    July 1, 2012 at 14:03

    not the most reverential nickname for your coke dealer

    nose candy dispenser

  198. Major Kong said,

    July 1, 2012 at 15:43

    not the most reverential nickname for your coke dealer

    Independent pharmaceutical sales contractor

  199. tigris said,

    July 1, 2012 at 15:56

    Entrepreneur.

  200. tigris said,

    July 1, 2012 at 15:56

    AND job creator!

  201. tigris said,

    July 1, 2012 at 16:48

    Woohoo! *runs naked through thread* Mine! ALL MINE!

  202. Major Kong said,

    July 1, 2012 at 16:56

    Mine! ALL MINE!

    Relevant:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjB9jlDvUNM

  203. sparks said,

    July 1, 2012 at 17:00

    Provider of greenhouse gas-free energy.

  204. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 17:39

    Wake up, y’all.
    .

  205. M. Bouffant said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:18

    Christ, another coattail-riding legacy schmuck deciding to bag some tea.

    Here’s an (The?) e-mail from JPS IV.

    Third-gen legacy schmuck.

  206. M. Bouffant said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:19

    Are you Easterners dead from the heat?

  207. M. Bouffant said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:22

    Gotta love how “patriot” JPS IV thinks it’s Marine “Corp,” not “Corps.” Maybe he thinks they’re real capitalists.

  208. El Manquecito said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:40

    Not dead but experiencing something of a yen for the fjords.

  209. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:46

    Keep this up, and I’ll rub pixels of my sweaty moobs across your screens!
    .

  210. Suezboo said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:48

    Alive and well but a tad depressed of a Sunday evening. Cold, bored and nothing to tell you. Small sigh.

  211. Mary, Queen of Scots said,

    July 1, 2012 at 19:53

    I’m not dead yet!

  212. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®☢☣ said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:41

    Yay Major…was just reading about your situation. I guess we got lucky and had that weather pass to the north, or not get started until it was west of us.

    I did find evidence of rain this morning, and thought, what the hell is this?

  213. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®?? said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:45

    Jeffraham, what did we possibly do to deserve that?

  214. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®?? said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:45

    Oh and the final of the Euro is just about to start.

  215. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®☢☣ said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:47

    And now I will take a naked lap around the place…

    weeeeeeeeee!!!!

  216. El Manquecito said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:50

    I’m in the Florida panhandle managing a blueberry harvest and it’s just regular hot here, mid-nineties. No power failures. My brother was driving up I-81 through all that storminess and said it was impressive.

  217. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®☢☣ said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:54

    El Manq, I didn’t know that they grew blueberries in FL. not that I am surprised, just thought of them as a more northern plant. We are at body temperature with healthy humidity in south central indiana.

  218. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:55

    Jeffraham, what did we possibly do to deserve that?

    Abandoning me here, by myself!
    .

  219. Caliph Garrett said,

    July 1, 2012 at 20:57

    Hurry-cayne done knocked ova mah char-coal greyulh!

  220. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®?? said,

    July 1, 2012 at 21:01

    Abandoning me here, by myself!

    We’ve all been there at one time or another, though I have never considered to respond with the Nuclear option.

  221. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®☢☣ said,

    July 1, 2012 at 21:03

    I just missed the first goal, but thanks to the replay tech i got to see it ESP1 ITA 0.

  222. bbkf said,

    July 1, 2012 at 21:07

    we have not yet hit ninety degrees here in mn, but it is effing hot out there…hubbkf and i are spending the day in of doors…also, too…it’s noisy out there what with teh fourth right around the corner and south dakota with it’s legal fireworks too…

  223. Suezboo said,

    July 1, 2012 at 21:22

    Oh, hey. Go, Espana !

  224. Provider_UNE_BonafideAmercian™®☢☣ said,

    July 1, 2012 at 21:29

    2-0 ESP

  225. Suezboo said,

    July 1, 2012 at 21:50

    So, Spain is going for the European championship twice record, huh? Great work! And the World Cup is theirs also, too.

  226. tigris said,

    July 1, 2012 at 22:28

    Man Italy is getting SPANKED.

  227. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 1, 2012 at 22:35

    Spain just scored its fourth goal. What a thumping.

  228. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    July 1, 2012 at 22:36

    Wow. Left the severe storms of DC to reach the severe storms of rhode island. Wtf. Is it me?

  229. Major Kong said,

    July 1, 2012 at 22:39

    Left the severe storms of DC to reach the severe storms of rhode island.

    Are you in Providence?

  230. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    July 1, 2012 at 22:46

    Really close. About 10 minutes outside our new Newport-area home.

  231. Major Kong said,

    July 1, 2012 at 22:59

    That’s a nice area. I usually drive down to Newport when I have a weekend layover in Providence.

  232. Chuck Norris said,

    July 1, 2012 at 23:06

    My bras are blue.

  233. bbkf said,

    July 1, 2012 at 23:07

    whoa…twins hit 4 home runs today…they are on their way to winning their third game in two days…wth?

  234. M. Bouffant said,

    July 2, 2012 at 0:23

    Good for bbkf, who is an American & watching baseball instead of decadent Euro “football.”

  235. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    July 2, 2012 at 1:31

    Major Kong, is there anywhere you havent been? Occupational perk, I guess.

  236. vacuumslayer is on her iPhone so will prolly make more mistakes than usual said,

    July 2, 2012 at 1:32

    Only sport I watch is dressage.

  237. M. Bouffant said,

    July 2, 2012 at 1:45

    VS, stay inside, or Mike Wankum may be reporting about you:

    Shortly after the National Weather Service issued a severe thunderstorm warning on Sunday, three teenagers were shocked by lightning in Rhode Island.

    [...]

    Storm Team 5’s Mike Wankum said the storms would generally stay south of the Mass Pike, then drift out of Connecticut through Rhode Island and into southeastern Massachusetts.

  238. N__B said,

    July 2, 2012 at 2:23

    Whenever I watch dressage, they call me a Peeping Tom.

  239. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 2, 2012 at 2:34

    Fucking lightning! How does it work?!
    .

  240. Major Kong said,

    July 2, 2012 at 2:38

    Major Kong, is there anywhere you haven’t been? Occupational perk, I guess.

    I haven’t seen much of Asia. Guam is about as far West as I’ve made it. I’ve never been to Africa and I’ve only seen parts of South America.

    But yes, it has been my great privilege to see places that others have only read about and I count myself very fortunate.

  241. Pupienus said,

    July 2, 2012 at 4:37

    I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.

  242. jim said,

    July 2, 2012 at 5:01

    Happy Canada Day to all DominionSadlies.

    Dominion the 145-year-old hipster – did the face-eating psycho thing more than a year before bath salts were a meme.

    Obligatory Canuckistan Content goes right about here!

  243. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 5:03

    Good for bbkf, who is an American & watching baseball instead of decadent Euro “football.”

    ho, ho! i even drank a fine amurkin alcoholic beverage and we also shot off a super loud firework…we also went to the inlaw’s for dinner which included grilled meat, cole slaw and corn on the cob…this must stop or before you know it i will be inquiring how to get my free hoveround…

  244. jim said,

    July 2, 2012 at 5:15

    This post is Zalgon 26 McGee approved.

  245. Suezboo said,

    July 2, 2012 at 10:39

    Happy Canada Day to all you Canuckstanis !
    May you have an even happier Canada Day when you get rid of that neocon jerk, Harper.
    Are Canadians in general still happy to be a Dominion or do you have an active Republic-wanting faction, like Oz?

  246. g said,

    July 2, 2012 at 10:44

    Man Italy is getting SPANKED.

    We watched the game sitting in an outdoor cafe/pizzeria in a campo in Venice. We’d been here the night Italy beat Germany, and the place was hopping. Waiters and staff all craning their necks to see the TV, everyone shouting and cheering.

    What a contrast! By about half-time, when it was quite obvious what the outcome would be, suddenly none of the Italians were paying attention to the TV. It was like, “Game? What game?”

  247. Smut Clyde said,

    July 2, 2012 at 11:21

    three teenagers were shocked by lightning in Rhode Island.

    They must have lived extremely sheltered lives.

  248. N__B said,

    July 2, 2012 at 11:48


    Are Canadians in general still happy to be a Dominion or do you have an active Republic-wanting faction, like Oz?

    Once you knock over one dominion, the rest tend to fall over in orderly rows.

  249. Lurking Canadian said,

    July 2, 2012 at 13:02


    Are Canadians in general still happy to be a Dominion or do you have an active Republic-wanting faction, like Oz?

    I think for most people the issue is very unimportant. Even after the prorogation mess, people were mad at the GG, but I don’t remember anybody blaming the dead hand of the monarchy.

  250. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 14:50

    the dead hand of the monarchy.

    our free hand of the marketplace scoffs at your dead hand of the monarchy…

  251. Whale Chowder said,

    July 2, 2012 at 15:40

    They must have lived extremely sheltered lives.

    Insulated from reality, you might say.

  252. Whale Chowder said,

    July 2, 2012 at 15:41

    Once you knock over one dominion, the rest tend to fall over in orderly rows.

    I thought the dominion theory was debunked in Viet Nam.

  253. jurassicpork said,

    July 2, 2012 at 15:45

    Hey, guess what? Today’s Welcome Back to Pottersville’s 4th anniversary.

  254. smedley said,

    July 2, 2012 at 16:11

    My personal dominion theory is that they make shitty pizza.

  255. N__B said,

    July 2, 2012 at 16:13

    But they make great elephant scabs.

  256. Anonymous said,

    July 2, 2012 at 16:52

    We may not have any “fatted calf” for the prodigal, but there’s always plenty of POOP!

    Why do think I came back? For the snark, sure. But the POOP! Ahh, the POOP.

  257. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 16:55

    Insulated from reality, you might say.

    Some may say “protected” from reality. It being too real to deal with sometimes…

  258. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 16:57

    My personal dominion theory is that they make shitty pizza.

    Dominiono’s Pizza?

  259. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:02


    Some may say “protected” from reality. It being too real to deal with sometimes…

    one word: alcohol…

  260. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:02

    What about Dominatrix’s pizza?

  261. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:03

    and way to come back and break the thread, esteev! nicely done!

  262. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:05

    Why is everything italicized? Oh, WordPress. Somethings never change.

    one word: alcohol…

    Sometimes alcohol is the answer!

  263. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:07

    Sometimes alcohol is the answer!

    what do you mean, sometimes? which i would have italicized, but oh well…

  264. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:08

    way to come back and break the thread, esteev! nicely done!

    Well if I can’t break the bank, I’ll try for the thread!

    My apologies. Where were we?

  265. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:13

    My apologies. Where were we?

    I thought we were on vacation in Italicy.

  266. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:20

    I thought we were on vacation in Italicy.

    gosh, i wish i would have thought to bring my umlaut!

  267. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:21

    on vacation in Italicy.

    I hear the weather in Boldivia is wonderful this time of year.

  268. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:27

    i am trying to utilize a favicon that i made, but stupid wordpress (or my stupid theme) won’t let this happen…any thoughts sadlieswhoarewaysmarterthanmewhenitcomestocomputers?

  269. smedley said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:27

    All of the opinions expressed here are slanted.

  270. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:32

    All of the opinions expressed here are slanted.

    I would have expected that the bias would have been to the left

  271. Pupienus said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:32

    All of the opinions expressed here are slanted.

    Such bias on display!

  272. Pupienus said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:33

    Bite me, HT.

  273. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:37

    Now no one can complain that Sadly, No! only writes to the left.

  274. Helmut Monotreme said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:38

    Or is the writing supposed to look normal because our entire worldview leans left?

  275. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:41

    So have my rusty tag skillz inadvertently made us centrists?

  276. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:50

    ???p?sn?uo? ?sn? ?,? ?ou

  277. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 17:57

    ???p?sn?uo? ?sn? ?,? ?ou/i

    !!!111!!!?

  278. Pupienus said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:00

    ???p?sn?uo? ?sn? ?,? ?ou

    No thanks, Ive had my coffee.

  279. Major Kong said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:01

    I didn’t break it. Nobody saw me. You can’t prove a thing.

  280. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:42

    g dang it! i love living in the boonies…
    breaking news in big stone county: six head of cattle are on the loose…if you find them, please call…

  281. Major Kong said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:44

    They were last seen boarding a flight to India…..

  282. smedley said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:48

    “breaking news in big stone county: six head of cattle are on the loose…if you find them, please call…”

    I’ve herd nothing about them……….

  283. smedley said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:49

    “breaking news in big stone county: six head of cattle are on the loose…if you find them, please call…”

    Maybe we should organize a steakout……..

  284. Major Kong said,

    July 2, 2012 at 18:58

    Relevant:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk-a3sx8vAk

  285. Anonymous said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:04

    “breaking news in big stone county: six head of cattle are on the loose…if you find them, please call…”

    Area china shop owners are requested to close for the day………….

  286. Major Kong said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:06

    It could be the work of the Bovine Liberation Front.

  287. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:08

    I see your big stone county news and raise you BIG news.

  288. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:08

    He had heard the man was told to stay in the terminal and not board the plane. Clark saw him sitting outside the gate as he boarded.
    bet this d00d feels dumb now…

  289. Whale Chowder said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:08

    six head of cattle are on the loose

    I bet they’re headed for Canada because of the individual mandate.

    Oh wait, they’re probably smarter than that.

  290. tigris said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:19

    bet this d00d feels dumb now…

    Jesus Christ, he didn’t make an accusation, he didn’t even make a statement, he just asked a joking question. The only person who should feel dumb is whatever idiot employee escalated it. The fact that they publicly blamed and punished the passenger for it is outrageous.

  291. Esteev said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:22

    bet this d00d feels dumb now…

    Pilots are, like, so divas.

  292. bbkf said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:39

    bet this d00d feels dumb now…

    i say this only as one who has flapped her yap at the wrong time/place/person and have been deeply chagrined at the results…

  293. smedley said,

    July 2, 2012 at 19:49

    Nu thred

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