It’s in the Trees! It’s Coming!
When I was a child: Running in the night, Afraid of what might be
Hiding in the dark, Hiding in the street, And of what was following me…
Jonathan David Carson, American Freak Out:
The Obfuscation Factor*
The election season has brought us quite a lot of crazy to mock here at Sadly, No! but with all the IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION and “why even bother having an election”, it sometimes feels like we’re losing sight of our roots. What happened to the days when we’d take someone grinding the borders of the remaining fragments of their sanity before taking off into a 720 spin into complete oblivion?
Why dear friends, they never ended.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Handcuffs! Muslims! Communists! People slightly different than me existing in the world! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
You know what’s strange? Of all the feelings I experience as I wade through shit moats for this crap, the one I end up returning to the most isn’t rage, isn’t disgust, isn’t laughter, or that strange burning feeling doctors assure me will clear up in 8-10 months, it’s… hope.
And that’s because for all the shit sandwiches we liberals have had to eat, despite all there is to be glum about, and all the people suffering, there is something in the air that promises actual genuine change (not just of the campaign slogan variety).
Why do I say this? Because the right-wing is going all in with everything they’ve got and trying to cash their chips. And I don’t just mean the foot soldier marks paid to freak out the rubes on a daily basis by ranting about the muslim and feminist hordes come to eat their babies and rape their white women.
Look at some of the more recent actions. Having their lickspittles declare war on democracy and openly call for dictatorships or that the vote shouldn’t be a right anymore. The war on women onslaughts that have torpedoed a largely successful “we’re not against women” bullshit war on sex and revealed the con. Not to mention the prolonged freakout about a black president daring to stain the White House. And that’s before the actual cash-outs they’ve done in states like Wisconsin where they’ve been having the governors literally strip the remaining assets and throw them their way.
I mean, the right-wing now has near total control over the airwaves, a nihilistic political base that will prevent any change no matter how minor or Republican, and the ability to spend infinite money on campaigns. Has drained every last drop out of religion, America, and capitalism and has hitched each of these words and their unearned reservoirs of respect to support slash and burn conservatism.
And yet.
And yet, their candidate looks on his way to a complete ass beating in November, actual real protests briefly broke through the media blockade, the demographics are shifting, and women, minorities, and queers are less willing to put up with “go back in the box and stay there” policies.
Cracks are starting to form in the 30+ year blockade against social progress, and where they are first appearing is on the minds of the curtain-twitching suburbanite wingnuts who are starting to notice their gated community castles being invaded by… NON-WHITE KIDS! SAME SEX PEOPLE HOLDING HANDS! SIGNS OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONS!
Unable to handle it these footsoldiers left behind are starting to cotton on to the fact that trying to perpetually cling to a fictional view of the 1950s means you’re at least 60 years behind the curve.
And every moment of their cognitive dissonance is comedy gold.
(/Serious) (Funny)
Obama was raised by communists, he hung out with communists in school, he hung out with communists after he got out of school, he talks just like a communist, and all we can say is that he promotes envy and class warfare.
Whaddaya mean our constant overuse of the word communist, mixed with our support for predatory capitalism and the fact that the Cold War ended over 20 years ago has caused the word to lose all scare potential?
Saying that makes you a communist! A commie, commie communist who does commie communist things with your communism! Hell yeah, relevance is mine once again!
That’s like saying that Charles Manson smells bad.
When we all know his real problem was that he was a COMMUNIST! Yeah!
What? Something about killing people… I can’t possibly see how that would be relevant.
Oh, they say, he takes money from Wall Street. Warren Buffett likes him. Yeah, and Engels was an industrialist. The Germans sent Lenin back to Russia in a sealed train. The New York Times liked Castro. What else is new?
Not being a communist makes you a communist because… the origins of communism (which at that time were entirely critiques of Industrial-era capitalism and its effects on the common person) were written by people who knew what they were critiquing…also commie commie commies?
I just want to make sure I’ve got this straight as I’m sure this will be crucial in the paragraphs that follow.
But far tighter handcuffs bite our wrists.
And now we’re in your bondage fantasy. Um, are you sure you didn’t accidentally open your Kirk/Gorn fan-fiction?
These are, strictly speaking, inhuman handcuffs, because actual human beings — the vast majority of human beings who have ever lived or ever will live — have no compunction against criticism of religions they do not hold, and we lack the courage even to criticize the religion of dead and deadly Aztecs or Mayans.
…
Okay, let’s see here. We’ve got handcuffs, but they aren’t people handcuffs, by which you mean handcuffs made of people (well, that’s good then, I was worried)… and then there’s criticism of religion, so evil secularists… but then, that got you hot and bothered about latinos, so now we’ve got rage that people aren’t criticizing the effect Aztec temple leaders are having on public policy…
Wasn’t there something about Obama and communism?
Hello?
We’ve allowed Wicca to become respectable. Next it will be Baal and Ashtaroth.
No? I guess this is a religious discussion then. So is Baal and Ashtaroth going to become respectable in their original non-offensive Babylonian senses or the insecure Ancient Jewish model of badmouthing them as pure evil because God was suffering major penis envy at the time.
I need to know these things if I’m going to get ahead of the curve on the latest religion to be an insult to Christianity by existing.
Also, I’m not sure reviving Babylonian religion is quite the sock in the gut Johnny thinks it is, when you note that there’s such a thing as Satanism.
This is no mere theoretical discussion. It costs us lives.
Not bitching about Wiccans and Aztecs is costing us… lives? Are they getting lost on the way Hot Topic or something? Curse you Tim Burton shirts, when will your evil end?!?
Seriously though, stop reclosing the blinds every time you see something that’s got you off your meeds. It’s giving me topic whiplash!
Every day it costs us lives, lives of our noblest and most self-sacrificing compatriots, soldiers today in Afghanistan, tomorrow God knows where.
You know, seeing as how you “volunteered” those young people (who you refuse to give adequate armor or post-mission psychological care and job training) to die in honor of your hate boners, you could bother to keep track of where you’re sending them and where they’re being sent next.
It’s only common courtesy.
Go to Jihad Watch, and day after day you will see
Confirmation bias in action?
— from mainstream press accounts — that Copts are slaughtered in Egypt, Christians blown up in their churches in Nigeria, teenage girls raped and murdered in England, mutilated in France, honor-killed in Michigan, women stoned in Afghanistan and Iran, worshipers imprisoned in Indonesia.
Confirmation bias in action.
For God’s sake, the other week a man beheaded his wife and dismembered her body in front of her six children. In Germany! “After he lunged at police with the severed head of his wife he threw it from the roof of his five storey apartment building to the street below.” It will happen in Duluth tomorrow and Des Moines the day after.
Those sand-niggers might start offing each other in places white people live! And then they’ll come after our white women and bland food products!
We can’t say that he was a Muslim — only that he was a Turk named Orhan Sircasi.
Huh. You can’t say he was a Muslim, and in fact comes from a country with a rather large Christian population living in another country with a substantial Christian population, despite it being Jihad Watch, where the sole purpose of the site is to find every single example of a muslim acting badly there has ever been.
That’s pretty weak, dude.
What did you expect, that he was a Kansan named Smith?
Well, usually yeah. I mean, yeah, world-wide violence tends to be most practiced by the locally most dominant social group as a means of keeping perceived lower groups “in their place”. The whole “man kills family” or “man kills wife” is so sadly common in these United States by good ol boys with strong Smith names that it tends to only be noted anymore by people going “oh hey, isn’t that shit so common as to be depressing”. Hell, we as a society ache for when it’s a woman who goes ape-shit and offs her family, or some Muslim does an honor killing because it’s actually novel enough to make the news.
Half the time this happens, the guy is named Muhammad.
…
His name wasn’t Muhammad. Also?
I don’t believe you.
I mean, not only is there a rather impressive spread of “muslim” names as it were, but beyond that, I’m not sure the good ol’ boys of U-S-A! are going to let some damn falafel-eating foreigners beat them in the grand game of Wife Abusing.
And while Copts defend their homes against Egyptian mobs, we, cowards, almost all, won’t stand up even to Muslim cab drivers who refuse to pick up blind people because they have seeing-eye dogs.
A) So… the bad guys are the people just fighting for a legitimate democracy, while the good guys are the ones trying to extend a dictatorship… Ok, yeah, fits, but you are usually more discreet about getting mad at muslim people for trying to become less of a bomb target.
B) The equal action to resisting a popular uprising of the people is glaring at any non-white cab driver you see when you take your once-per-decade trip to the least expensive city so you can bitch about how your wife always drags you along to the worst places.
C) Cabbies, really? Is there a sadder group you want to cower out of confronting even in your fantasies?
We obediently go to other lines in the grocery story because we are intimidated by a Muslim woman who won’t ring up our pork sausage.
Ask and ye shall receive.
Yeah chickening out of getting into the line with the woman with the slight tan because you’re worried she’ll look cross at the pork sausage you have been nervously stroking is pretty high on the “complete wuss” charts.
Not gonna lie, there’s shame in that. A lot of shame.
And we are afraid to say that we may not know exactly what Obama believes, but whatever it is, it ain’t good.
All we’re saying is that it don’t matter if Obama is a Christian moderate, because whatever dem niggers think is evil, goldamnit! And now we’re being oppressed by no-good commie Wicca piercing cab-riding little girls snickering at us when we say that. Stop laughing at me, girlie! I graduated the 4th grade and I’m smart enough to whoop you for being a whoor!
We hear all day long about “secular society,” but there is no secular society.
Damnitt, I ain’t left my house for nothing but going to Church and I ain’t seen none of this secular shit!
It does not exist. What people call secular is almost always New Age
I can only wonder what he thinks “New Age” is. Cause I don’t think there’s a single person on the planet with an IQ above a daiquiri who thinks “New Age” is even remotely “secular”.
and when it is not, it is some other form of idolatry, such as scientism or Obamamania.
Scientism…snrk… and… Obamamania…
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!
Oh wow. Oh this is shut-in crazy grandpa gold. Tell us about the Onion War next!
People are religious animals, and we are supposed to act as if religion does not matter.
I guess the 13 year old with the Hot Topic shirt and the nose ring must be oppressing him again when she explains for the fortieth time that she’s Jewish and will not be going to Church with him. Especially not in his creepy van that smells slightly of rotted meat.
The liberal establishment, which includes establishment Republicans
Fuck, why not have it include everyone? Then you can pretend you’re an even bigger victim of Liberal Fascism despite the fact that politics has never been more receptive to right-wing crazy! It’s like Christmas and Channukah rolled into… Ah, I just oppressed you with my metaphor, didn’t I?
laughs at people who think Obama is a Muslim.
Because it’s stupid and ignores easily verifiable reality? Including a giant still-ongoing wingnut campaign to smear him because of his former pastor.
Do people also oppress you by laughing at your claims that the moon is made of cheese, the Earth being flat, or women being secret muslim gophers trying to steal your precious pork sausage?
But people who think that at least engage in a reasoning process, unlike those who simply laugh.
Yeah, you smug little tyke bastard! Actually knowing enough to find leading bullshit stupid makes you the stupid one. At least I’m asking questions! Well, not asking questions, more just spreading inane unthought out horseshit based on a knee-jerk reaction to not wanting to share a religion with a black guy in case they taint White Heaven (no, not even Uncle Ruckus). Yeah, that’s the real sign of edumacation thinky words!
People say something like this to themselves: the laughers simply take Obama’s word for his Christianity, but we know what that is worth.
…
Okay, so I know what he did say, but I’m wondering what he intended to say. What he did end up saying is that his fellow “the president is a secret muslim” nutjobs are morons who think they are smarter than anyone who has the ability to perform a google search.
But that’s a bad thing. Was he trying to do an IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION “grr, dem laughers don’t know the secret written in braille on the fudge packets at the commie Mason store”? Did his last synapse finally give up the ghost and he’s lost the ability to even communicate?
I don’t know. No one could know. A fucking Lovecraftian horror couldn’t untangle this shit.
He says that he attended church for twenty years, but says that he did not notice that the preacher was a raging, hate-filled lunatic.
Preacher. Church.
And still you wonder why people laugh when you call him a muslim.
“But don’t you see, that durn dark-skinned ragafragger went to an evil blackity black black Church and that’s where they breed moo-slims and Scientists and those mean old Wiccan girls who snicker at me as they ride by on their bikes. STOP LAUGHING AT ME! I’ll make you pay if you don’t stop laughing. EEK! It’s that woman from the grocery store! Protect me sausage! Don’t let her get her muzzie germs on my rug.”
He slanders Christians who “cling” to their religion, but he bows down to Saudi princes.
Basic respect to foreign heads of state is how you reveal your secret Assassin status to potential recruits without tipping off the Templars, donchaknow? Why if these brave wingnuts didn’t stand up to the horrifying oppression of “people laughing at their stupidity”, Obama could have been wall-jumping on good Christian leaders all over Europe.
Also, gotta love how they think Obama is so super clever to hide his muslim status so flawlessly that he attended a Church for decades, but was willing to give it up just to bow to a fat guy.
He seems to think that Israel is the problem in the Middle East, which is an opinion not uncommon among Muslims.
Oh noes! He acknowledges the antagonism that Israel shows its neighbors and occasionally even politely calls them out on it, but you know, not too strongly.
Also, he’s got a point. Why just the other day I found myself thinking that chocolate was delicious, an opinion not uncommon among Serial Killers. Well once I found that out, I realized I needed to go on a spree killing just to avoid looking like a wannabe.
He greets Muslims with greetings that Muslims reserve for use only among themselves.
Basic respect for those damn furriner types is how you reveal you’re a secret commie muslim Hitler clone. A real leader sexually assaults foreign leaders and treats foreign heads of states like personal pets. Without that, wingnuts can barely manage half-mast for the illegal occupation of a sovereign nation.
What’s really going on is that he tries to make Christians think he is a Christian and Muslims think he is a Muslim, all the while worshiping only himself.
Me? Are you there, Me? Deliver me from evil and send me to my own arms. In my name I pray. Amen.
Also, are you rechickening out on the whole “he’s a muslim thing, already?” What, did the grocery lady walk her dog past your house causing you to curl up in a fetal position as you mumbled to your sausage?
But the main point is that we have to look at people as they really are, and what they really are is religious.
If I say it again, I’ll believe it. We’re naturally religious, so it’d be wrong to think the unanswered prayers to smite all the young lezzie Wiccan sluts plotting in their Scientism Cathedrals is a sign there is no God… right? At least you’re with me Pork Sausage… till the end. Til the end.
And not all religions are alike, or even close to it. And to be indifferent to the religious motivations of people in this world and to their fate in the world hereafter is absurd cowardice in a world where acid is thrown in the faces of little girls for going to school.
Why can’t we just kill the filthy ragheads and their Jew masters in the media like God, the talking Pork Sausage wants us too?
Why can’t our media or our leaders face facts?
They’ll save me! Clear the streets of the roaming commies that wander out there so I can finally go to the store for another sausage after the last one… broke. Oh dear Bob, a black person, save me White Jesus! Hurry!
Bonus:
This is his website. The new daredevil game is seeing how long you can last on the site before you start feeling syphilis symptoms.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Oppressing wingnuts with laughter invented by Secret Muslim Agent – Pork Sausage but loyally enacted by me and the others in Team Secret Commie Muslim Force: Neo Gecko! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*I’m not entirely sure that this isn’t meant to describe the post itself by some poor “editor” for American Thinker trying to figure out how to transcribe the clawed marks on a warm human skin that was turned into him.
That’s the Holy Spirit.
Imma backflow into the bed.
.
The New York Times liked Castro. What else is new?
Did this dude just inadvertently admit that the New York Times was a capitalist institution and not an agent of liberal e.g. socialist e.g. communist bias? My friend, there may be hope for you yet.
We’ve allowed Wicca to become respectable. Next it will be Baal and Ashtaroth.
I had a friend in college who was a pagan – the “classical,” Olympian-worshipping kind. Really weirded me out at the beginning, until I figured out that when you got right down to it, it’s just as arbitrary as believing that a virgin gave birth to a god who turned water into wine so that his preachers two thousand years later could tell us that booze was a sin. That, plus she didn’t insist that anyone else’s life match up with her eccentricities, which is more than I can say for a large number of the people who believe in that other religion.
Well, usually yeah. I mean, yeah, world-wide violence tends to be most practiced by the locally most dominant social group as a means of keeping perceived lower groups “in their place”.
Well, that, and even if you take all the power-relationships and class structures and all out of the equation, you’re left the fact that statistically, if most people in society are white Christians, most criminals will also be white Christians. No offense to white Christians.
Hi Chris. I am a bit tipsy but yes I agree with you. All stupid religions are stupid.
Oh and please stop with the “no offense to white christians” shit. They don’t care if they offend you.
Re his atrocities about Muslim fundamentalists in general, I repeatedly find myself making this point:
Where the fuck were you yahoos all through the nineties, when Salafism was on the rise all over the Middle East? The people lobbying against and raising awareness of the Taliban (to the point of being able to pressure the Clinton administration into backing off of an oil deal that would have benefited them hugely) consisted of the women’s rights lobby and not much else. The people actually opposing the Taliban consisted of the Northern Alliance and its backers, e.g. Iran, Russia and Russia’s Central Asian poodles. Where was the glorious American right wing, so concerned about the abuses and evils of fundamentalist Islam, at any point before 09/11/2001? I mean, it’s nice that you’ve finally woken up to the fact that one of the evils you bankrolled and cheerled for from head to toe throughout the Cold War is in fact an evil, but some of us have been aware of that this entire time.
Oy. Recent converts are always such a pain in the ass.
Also, literally all the sort of white Christian who takes offense does with their time is take offense. They’re biological machines elegantly constructed by an intelligent designer (Pat Robertson) to convert food and air into complaints.
Remember that scene from Goodfellas where Jimmy “The Gent” Conway is genuinely upset that Billy Batts damaged his shoes with his ribs and face? Imagine that, only played straight, forever.
Hi back, and yay booze!
Oh and please stop with the “no offense to white christians” shit. They don’t care if they offend you.
LOL. There are nice white Christians too. As with pagan-girl, their religion may be silly, but I have no bone to pick until they start telling me to abide by it. Those who can refrain from that are fine in my book.
Not too put a fine a point on it, but it’s an Israel issue: Likud’s blood oath was against Arabs in 1999, not Muslims. Now they have always been at war with Islamofascism.
Doubtless the next time some PLO successor organization wins a leadership election political Islam will be so 20th century and Hitler 2.0 will go back to being Syria or Yemen or whoever. The impressive thing is seeing the gymnastics the purportedly American proponents of Bibi First perform to pretend they’re still operating on the same moral principle without out-and-out telling the disgusting proles that they’re just rooting for a foreign political party.
Incidentally, while we’re on the subject of rancid beef, enjoy the story of Charles Domery, who could eat a whole raw cow udder and dance a merry jig and not throw up. Even at the turn of the 19th century this was considered weird.
Chris – do you know Christians who refrain from telling you what to do? Cuz I do not. And I live in NYC – sodom-meca. YAY. Whenever I go to one of those employer mandated “let’s learn to get along; diversity is good” training classes. I read the room, you know where everyone loves everyone and everyone says “Yes let’s all get along!!!!!” I say to the leader “are you sure? cuz mebbe not” And he says “OH tell us your story” And I say “I am an athiest”
AND THE SHIT HITS THE FAN. Because they may hate you cuz you’re a muslim but at least you believe in God. It’s the wrong God, but at leat it’s a God.
As an athiest hang out with christians and then get back to me.
Also? YAY BOOZE right back at you.
I didn’t know it came from Israel, but that makes sense. I do remember reading criticism from various people in the 1990s that America still saw Middle Eastern terrorism through the prism of Israel/Palestine and the PLO, while ignoring the far more dangerous Salafi movements like the GIA in Algeria, the Taliban in Afghanistan, etc.
Speaking of which, I’ve occasionally entertained myself by trolling right-wingers on movie discussion boards about “The Sum Of All Fears,” usually something like this:
Wingnut: “In the book, the bad guys were islamists! They changed that because they’re politically correct faggots!”
Me: “Well, actually in the book the bad guys were left-wing radicals.”
Wingnut: “THEY WERE ISLAMIST! YOU CAN TELL CAUSE THEY HAD A GOD CALLED ALLAH! YOU’RE A POLITICALLY CORRECT FAGGOT!”
Me: [Brief summary of who the bad guys were in the book, brief summary of the Palestinian political spectrum and the vast differences between Marxist/Arab nationalist groups like the PFLP and the later islamist movements like Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad, can be capped off with helpful analogy like “it’s like comparing the Black Panthers with the militia movement”]
Wingnut: “…”
Me: “U mad brah?”
And with that, to bed with me…
But how can you have a moral compass without God, blub blub blub, lord liar lunatic, blub blub blub, Pascal blub Einstein blub blub. Quantum uncertainty foxholes mystery universe, an ear of corn in silence reaped. Why do you hate Eleusinia?
Oh…
Uh… yeah? I do, more than a few. They’re not usually the fundiegelical kind, not usually the kind who vote Republican, but yeah, I do know Christians who’re perfectly fine to let me be in a nonreligious status. Maybe it’d be different if I actually identified as atheist formally – I identify as agnostic when I bother to identify at all – but I don’t think so. Sorry to hear about the pricks you have to deal with. Amen I say to you, let the assholes not grind thee down…
My wife’s less closeted about atheism than I am and I can pretty much tell you from similar interactions with the same people that openly identifying as an atheist is basically a standing invitation to evangelical types: finally, a chance to try the Great Commission on for size! And it inevitably ends with the most insultingly basic kind of questions. Like, no, co-worker, I don’t necessarily think the only way to keep people from rapin’ and murderin’ and carryin’ on is Hell, or that it’s that effective a strategy at that. But unlike my better half I don’t have to field that question all the live-long day on Facebook etc.
Frakk! I should hit the sack, but I keep wanting to respond…
But how can you have a moral compass without God
Just FTR, the people who say this don’t “have” moral compasses – they’re outsourcing them entirely to another entity, in theory, God, but in practice, the preacher or the local groupthink “priesthood of all believers” collective. I don’t see how you can claim to have any moral compass at all when you basically elect to never think about morality and rather let someone else do all the thinking for you.
Chris – I Ieft agnostic at the door. Commit. Try it. You will be stunned.
Alec-that is the best question EVA. How can you not? You (meaning they) have a moral compass because they are scared shitless not to. You will go to hell if you don’t. I have a moral compass becaues I have to live with other people and it is the right thing to do.
I too am against people discriminating against social classes based on bullshit religious reasons.
I’m sure Mr. Carson will agree with me then that pharmacists should give women the birth control they need and that employers shouldn’t be able to fire people due to sexual orientation.
What if “atheist” is giving the God hypothesis more dignity than it merits on its face? I don’t feel compelled to accept or to reject the hypothesis that God as defined by the sects I’m familiar with exists, because I don’t feel compelled to answer it at all. It’s what pop-sci writers call “not even wrong”.
And it’s a Not Even Wrong answer to the wrong question, as we’ve brushed up against. I find I have a lot more in common with humanists whatever they believe about God or ghost orbs or the Mongolian death worm than I do with atheists as a category, on account of I literally have less than no use for e.g. Ayn Rand.
Also, as I have the power to link you people places and am drunk on that power, for literally no other reason, enjoy cashcats.biz, a blog for cats flaunting their sickening wealth in the usual cat manner.
Muslims! Commies! Wiccans! Aztecs! Scientism!
It’s a veritable stew of right-wing boogeymen.
I can haz hate-boner . . . ?
we lack the courage even to criticize the religion of dead and deadly Aztecs or Mayans.
Dead and deadly? OMG, EVIL UNDEAD MESSICANS, MASSING ON THE BORDER!!!
Sure, the liberal media will tell you that it’s all smoke and mirrors, but it’s really a smoking mirror.
There’s gotta be a “the smoking mirror will be a mushroom cloud” joke in there somewhere…
I get it Alec and I agree. Athiest is as stupid as Christian because we really do not know. But if others want a label, there it is.
Also in the overall scheme of things I do not give a shit because I believe I am not smart enought to know the truth. And if there is a God she will get that.
Those Christians??? Oh yeah they are sure they are smarter than me. BWA HA FUCKING HA
Hey Major – do not dis the Wiccans. They will fuck you!!!
Oh wait is that good?
What did you expect, that he was a Kansan named Smith?
How about a Kansan named Roeder?
And while Copts defend their homes against Egyptian mobs, we, cowards, almost all, won’t stand up even to Muslim cab drivers who refuse to pick up blind people because they have seeing-eye dogs.
Considering how much cabbies have to pay medallion holders, at least in NYC, I doubt this really happens.
We obediently go to other lines in the grocery story because we are intimidated by a Muslim woman who won’t ring up our pork sausage.
Again, I wonder if this ever really happens. Shit, why wouldn’t he just ask to see the manager? What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
I used to say that there was a growing body of evidence that certain forms of political fanaticism had much the same effect as methamphetamine.
I was mistaken.
Apparently it’s more like those bath salts that are all the face-eating rage these days.
If only we could have a flower war on Christmas; only that would produce enough captives to ensure the Sun, strengthened by the heart-souls of the editorial board of the Washington Post, would win its battle with the Moon to rise in the morning.
(Unrelated fact: the Mexica pagans believed being struck by lightning was a way for Tlaloc to claim the strongest souls from among non-warriors for himself, so those killed in that way went to their answer to Valhalla.)
If only we could have a flower war on Christmas; only that would produce enough captives to ensure the Sun, strengthened by the heart-souls of the editorial board of the Washington Post, would win its battle with the Moon to rise in the morning.
It’s too bad that Robertson and Falwell didn’t raid each other’s churches to take sacrificial victims captive.
Falwell was very very tired from raiding Tammy and Jim’s church.
What did you expect, that he was a Kansan named Smith?
Or Rader! Perfectly normal people here in the Heartland.
Or Rader! Perfectly normal people here in the Heartland.
I was going to AHEM you, but they are two different guys with similar names. Bleeding Kansas, indeed!
EVIL UNDEAD MESSICANS, MASSING ON THE BORDER!!!
I saw that in “From Dusk till Dawn”.
It’s in the Trees! It’s Coming!
It’s coming fast. It’s a comet.
Coming this way, with your name on it.
It’s a heaven-sent extinction event.
I saw that in “From Dusk till Dawn”.
I, for one, welcome our new sexy **SPOILER REDACTED** overlords.
It’s coming fast. It’s a comet.
Coming this way, with your name on it.
It’s a heaven-sent extinction event.
Nice poetising, old chum.
Just like the K-T,
But for you and me.
How about a Kansan named Clutter, a Nevadan named Smith and a Louisianan named Persons?
Nice
poetising, Wire-quoting.Nice
poetising, Wire-quoting.You are the fly in the ointment!
INDIANA JONES! I GOT BINGO! I WIN!
How about a Kansan named Clutter, a Nevadan named Smith and a Louisianan named Persons?
I’ll stick with a man named Jayne.
We obediently go to other lines in the grocery story because we are intimidated by a Muslim woman who won’t ring up our pork sausage.
WTF? I was going to comment on these idiots just making shit up, but I’m convinced a significant percentage are truly suffering some sort of mental illness–possibly mass hysteria.
He really expects us to believe a cashier in a store that sells pork products would refuse to ring up a legitimate purchase of said pork products and, not only that, but be allowed to do so by his/her employers because of intimidation?
Next he’ll be claiming that medical professionals, such as pharmacists, will be refusing to sell legal medicines to patients/customers; or maybe some ridiculous claim that employers will begin deciding what medicines they will allow insurance companies to cover; or perhaps, heh heh, he will really get surreal and rant about imaginary non-medically trained or knowledgeable politicians creating laws to require doctors to sexually assault patients who request certain medical procedures (or encourage these doctors to refuse treatment entirely).
What a joker this guy is.
It proves my point. I’ve never seen anyone dance-without-dancing like that. Have you?
As a matter of fact, yes. OMG!!! W is a Muslim tooo!!!!!!!11!!!! Thay really are taking over.
I’ll stick with a man named Jayne.
A-kickin’ and a-gougin’ in the mud ‘n’ the blood ‘n’ the beer …
I can’t see Ashtaroth making a comeback. He was a total dud as attorney general, and might still be popular in Missouri, but that’s it.
I couldn’t help but wonder if BBBB is enjoying the traditional Bloomsday breakfast of fried kidneys.
“And not all religions are alike, or even close to it. And to be indifferent to the religious motivations of people in this world and to their fate in the world hereafter is absurd cowardice in a world where acid is thrown in the faces of little girls for going to school.”
When I read this, my immediate thought was Northern Ireland, not various scary Muslim-y countries. But then I remembered — sectarian conflict only happens when Muslims are involved, so obviously the N.I. conflict was ultimately about courage and all other non-cowardly things.
Clarifications: I am not aware of acid-throwing incidents in N.I., but certainly children on their way to school had bottles, rocks and bricks thrown at them, which is why I made the association. Also, I’m aware that the conflict in N.I. was not technically religious, where “Catholic” and “Protestant” labels were and are used as convenient shorthand for a complex mix of political and cultural conflicts about identity. Which I’m sure is not at all the case in any other sectarian conflicts anywhere else in the world.
Seriously, how do people develop these enormous blind spots? It is perplexing to me, but I am a bear of very little brain.
Prong.
.
The wackadoodle is strong in this one.
You know what scientism rhymes with?
That’s right…jism.
Case closed, my fiends!
~
Jeeebus, did you scroll through his website? What about the creepy, soft-focus portrait of a demure Ann Coulter at the end?
Deviled lamb’s kidneys. By deviled I mean pan fried in butter with some Tabasco-like hot sauce. Leading a group of riders to Fossil today so I am forgoing celebrations invovling alcohol until this evening.
Baal and Ashtaroth? Are you kidding. Their comeback tour was so bad they had to cut it short.
That is a damn fine opening paragraph. There’s no better way to start the weekend than a nice strong dose of paranoid rhetoric, complete with communists.
Carson’s sentence structure is a little tangled here, but he’s saying that people who think up crackpot ideas are thinkers, while people who do not think up crackpot ideas are not thinkers. It follows that someone who spends a lot of time thinking about crazy shit is more of a thinker than someone who spends just a little time at it, and that people who always think about crazy shit are the greatest thinkers of all. Therefore, the Time Cube guy is right.
I think… I think up crackpot ideas… Therefore I am a crackpot… I think.
I cracked a pot, once, so there you go.
~
You can smoke crack and you can smoke pot but you can’t smoke crackpots. At least not unless you dry them out real good and crumble them up.
You can smoke pot on a cracked pot but you have to remember to clean your crack afterwards.
Seriously, how do people develop these enormous blind spots?
You think that’s bad? I was once at a party where a man FROM Northern Ireland asked why all terrorists were Muslims!
The American Thinkers comments section is always rich in nutritious wingnut vitamins and minerals. Carson’s article has stimulated a great deal of profound philosophicallizing on the nature of religion and on why everyone who thinks differently is a big poopyhead.
I believe a large portion of what we do here at American Thinker is speak truth to insanity and moral and intellectual fraud. You could even say we “bear witness” to shelter and nourish the truth.
It is all so simply, really. A child of five could understand it… The more like Christ a Christian is the better person he likely is. The more like Mohammad a Muslim is the worse person he is. … Factually the best Muslims, and the only at all good Muslims, are those who are very bad at being Muslims. This means that Obama and Bush and our generals are mentally inferior to a child of five. (Two other commenters commended this post for its exceptional insight.)
If children attend government socialist entitlement schools that are godlessly secular… we will get children who think and reason in a godless or mushy New Agey way… If we are to save this nation, conservatives must work to shut down the government schools and work to see that every child has access to private schooling that thoroughly supports his family’s Judeo Christian belief and our nation’s founding principles.
I think that we the people could destroy the muslim problem swiftly, and inexpensively, and within a week our nation would be terrorist-free. A religion that disguises it’s political intent should be ousted from our nation immediately, eh?
It’s because hippies and thier children are in control.
(A conservative atheist shows up and objects to “irrational religious zealotry”. A religious commenter responds:) Christianity is not irrational. It is trans-rational, which is an entirely different thing.
Ringing up the pork sausage.
Totaling the tenderloin.
Checking out the chops.
Tenderizing the beef.
Schnitzeling the chicken.
Raising the communist.
Pork,N__B, pork.
What about the creepy, soft-focus portrait of a demure Ann Coulter at the end?
The wackarooney IS powerful in this one.
you can’t smoke crackpots. At least not unless you dry them out real good and crumble them up.
…which Cerb certainly did.
What’s a Communist?
New JanusNode has a band-name generator.
http://janusnode.com/
The moment he brought up Egyptians being big meanies to Copts, I had a spontaneous flashback …
Tahrir Square, circa February 2011: a group of Copts are sitting together, passively taking part in the protests, & some thuggish folks in the crowd mean them harm – but luckily a brave bunch of young dudes immediately forms a human force-field around them to keep them safe … & those noble young fellows are one & all … WAIT FOR IT … stone cold motherfuckin’ Muslims.
Meester Jonathan David Carson can kiss my shiny metal secular-humanist ASS.
Also: I rate for the Mongolian death worm.
I think it’s some sort of atheist Muslim hippie who drinks vodka.
OMG it does TED talks:
A communist is an official in China who demands huge kickbacks to set up a factory.
I don’t get it. Obama’s attended more church and done nothing more than the prior Bushes did… And that’s this guy’s evidence?
I don’t understand why they print it. I don’t understand why Republicans find these guys useful.
If someone on our side was saying un-evidenced crap, they get ejected.
Lord almighty Cerberus, you really have found a gold mine of crazy here. Damn, how delusional can you be and still function?
Okay, I did an extremely rare Fenwick Plunge into the Wackadoodle’s post accompanied by Coulter’s gauzy, soft-focus picture.
(1) It is an extremely l-o-n-g and tedious diatribe about how English Lit classes incorrectly teach Romantic poetry, with extra-special emphasis on the ‘carpe diem’ ideal. He devotes a lot of space to his misunderstanding of Robert Herrick. Also to his misreading of William Shakespeare. Also quotes Horace in Latin–proof he’s smart!–and points out that Dante places Horace in the Inferno.
(2) There is absolutely no mention of Anne Coulter anywhere in the text, not even an indirect reference. So that photo is completely his own psyche at work.
I’ve returned with these artifacts from his prose:
Like me, all the great Romantic poets are really moralistic God-bothering prigs:
My favorite parcel of word salad:
Now I’m going into the decontamination chamber, as a precaution against a possible Wackadoodle virus.
Sacrificing the buffalo.
Good lord, Fenwick. I am afraid if I ever understand that last paragraph I will be as crazy as he is.
Also “environmental Indianism”?????
Alternate shorter Jonathan David Carson: “Listen to me! Please listen! If you don’t, if you won’t, if you fail to understand, then the same incredible terror that’s menacing me WILL STRIKE AT YOU!”
Or is an “invasion of the Body Snatchers” reference too obvious?
It’s in the trees! It’s coming!
Damn straight.
It’s time we start taxing the delusion creators.
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when from out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats of the politically correct dia-tribes who roam the plains searching for buffalo to sacrifice to the gods of environmental Indianism.
The man who is a whiteytarian before age 40 has no heart, but the man who is an Indianist after age 40 has no natural resistance to zoonotic disease.
I think that environmental Indianism is a reference to Shep Krech’s book, The Environmental Indian which questions the belief that American aboriginals were quite the environmental stewards they’re sometimes portrayed as. Good research and he’s an interesting feller but his findings have been misappropriated by whackos, surprise.
The irony is the evil Red Chinee Commies have turned out to be better capitalists than the Exceptional Americans.
I hate that a very real situation — cabbies refusing to transport passengers with guide dogs — is one of the things this idiot is using to bolster his … argument(?) … no, delusional hate mongering. I am a blind person with a guide dog — long time reader (more than 3 years, I think) first time poster), and I have experienced this situation on many occasions, sadly.
I can’t verify that all of the cabbies that have refused are Muslim, but I suspect some of them have been, since there have definitely been Muslim cabbies with whom I had to argue and point out they were breaking the law before they reluctantly agree. (I learn that they are Muslim by having conversations with them once I am in the cab. I try talking to them about what guide dogs do, and if they are decent I tip well.)
So yeah, it is a thing. But besides all the other things about picking which religions get to oppress which groups (see the pharmacists+birth control thing up there), I’ll believe the right is on my side when they start talking about supporting the ADA in public places, and in accommodation for competitive employment for people with disabilities and and … yeah, not going to happen.
And also too,
poop.
Indians are people just as flawed as anyone, most of our Ojibwe stories are meant as a warning, kind of like “screw up and this will happen”. I imagine most of them were learned from experience.
nihilistech-
Especially since that very real situation isn’t caused by mean dog-fearing muslims, but rather a hesitancy against all animals for cab drivers because they fear the potential for a mess that would cost them a day’s work and who knows how much out of pocket to clean up.
This of course leads them to breaking the law against disabled people and misinterpreting well-behaved well-trained guide dogs as the poorly trained terrors they have had bad experience with.
The dog thing is one of those weird cultural-economic things that is more common than most Westerners would think. A lot of third-world societies think dogs are disgusting because the main human-dog interaction is not with pets but with feral dogs, which are pretty gross. A contempt for dogs’ filth is nearly universal in the third world and one of the classic grossout stories of the US and UK is that they’re places where people kiss dogs on the face.
It’s like how Islamophobes will sometimes suggest slathering ourselves with pig to somehow get back at the Muslims – it’s less that they think their God has forbidden pig to them and more that they think pigs are disgusting animals that eat and live in their own shit. It’d be like refusing to bathe.
El Manquecito said,
June 16, 2012 at 19:13
Pork,N__B, pork.
I am completely in favor of porking N__B.
Shakespeare was “a great genius whose lofty imagination is matched by his sympathy for all kinds of human behavior,” which would presumably include sex with and among children
Wait, what? What kind of mind would read Shakespeare and the first thing that comes to his mind is “sex with children”?
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and sex with children is the sun.
What kind of mind would read Shakespeare and the first thing that comes to his mind is “sex with children”?
Orson Scott Card?
What kind of mind would read Shakespeare and the first thing that comes to his mind is “sex with children”?
Gives new meaning to “once more into the breech”…..
Actually, it is partly the cultural thing common in many developing countries about dogs being unclean and dangerous. (And generally, people with disabilities in those countries don’t have many rights/protections either, so the whole thing here can be a cultural disconnect.)
But, as it was explained to me, the specific Muslim issue is that it is taught that dogs are considered unclean in a religious sense, and one must clean oneself after coming in contact with one before prayer; and since Muslim cabbies may use the backseat of their cabs for one of their daily prayers, it makes things complicated for them if a dog has been there.
There was an interesting case a few years back, where a young blind Muslim man in the UK decided he wanted a guide dog, and wanted to be able to take it to the mosque, which would be strictly forbidden. They came up with a compromise that would allow the dog to enter to a certain point but not the prayer area, nd there was some talk about trying to have a declaration made that dogs that do such honorable work as guiding would not be considered unclean. I don’t know where that went.
And Cerberus, the reasons you listed is why I do my best to tip well when a reluctant cabbie does transport me; besides showing that the dog is well-behaved and clean, I want to help reinforce a positive impression and maybe compensate a little if they do need to brush up dog hair. A friend of mine who thinks similarly, has impressed one cabbie who picks him up from SFO so much that apparently the cabbie himself is doing his best to educate his pals.
Not all blind people have the patience or money to do this though.
PS. I don’t want to make it seem that I only tip reluctant cabbies well. Just that I try to do ea little extra to provide a positive impression for the ones who didn’t have when I got in the cab, if that makes sense.
Exactly; thus the ADA. Which, as you sussed out, the sort of nutbar who writes this kind of thing is against, for some reason.
Private businesses must be allowed to discriminate for non-Muslim reasons. The market is the answer to everything except Muslims. Boo, Muslims!
Alec: Exactly.
And here’s an article about the UK thing I mentioned above. I’d forgotten the “working dog” definition.
Anyway, Yay Muslims
Private businesses must be allowed to discriminate for non-Muslim reasons. The market is the answer to everything except Muslims. Boo, Muslims!
I know I’ve bitched about this before, but there’s a staggering number of times when the free market leads to conclusions they don’t like and they fall all over themselves whining about how it must be a liberal conspiracy. Drugs, ever popular no matter how many laws you pass against it and how harsh you make the sentences – that’s one examples. “Liberal media” promoting sinful and promiscuous culture because that sells a hell of a lot more than Bible sermons. “Liberal Hollywood” making movies that don’t conform to their ideology because their audience is global and at the box office, Rest Of The World > Half Of America. And of course the number of times an economic crisis occurs and they find a way to blame it on (in this case) black people and Bill Clinton.
They say they’re capitalists, but there are so many caveats to their faith in the market that you really can’t call them that. (And as someone at Balloon Juice is fond of pointing out, it’s easy to troll their websites with quotes from Adam Smith and get called a communist for your troubles).
Isn’t Wealth of Nations among a list of the books on the wingnutttia “I don’t have to have read it to cite it” list?
Maybe the top of the list.
Isn’t Wealth of Nations among a list of the books on the wingnutttia “I don’t have to have read it to cite it” list?
Right next to the Bible, except for a few carefully hand-picked verses from Leviticus and Revelation.
I like how all feminists are hypocrites because they don’t hate all Muslims. You can always win an argument if the person you’re arguing with is a person you created and bears no resemblance to actual people.
Or is this just another case of wingnuts not understanding nuance? That feminists can at once find some practices of theocratic, fundamentalist Muslims disgusting and disheartening, yet not hate all Muslims.
And if somebody could clarify what “inhuman handcuffs” are for me, I’d be eternally grateful. kthanksbai.
And the existence of Muslim feminists?! Unpossible!
Actually, I wonder what that would do to their brains, since feminists = evil, but Muslims also = evil but different evil, and and and
Nope, they don’t exist.
This is the craziest man I have ever seen. Well, maybe the believers in Reptilian Dynasties, etc. are more whack, but How did this asshole get a PhD? Phoenix Online?
Crazy and raving rants from a man I would see riding his bicycle down Elmwood Avenue after they opened the doors of the Psychiatric Institution and did not provide enough resources for the human wrecks they sent outdoors to play, circa 1976-1980.
Sadly, sad.
most of our Ojibwe stories are meant as a warning, kind of like “screw up and this will happen”. I imagine most of them were learned from experience.
I shudder to think what manner of experiences were transformed into the Wendigo stories. Did they involve Republicans?
There’s a whole subgenre of weird Youtube videos that prove there are seekrit reptilian infiltrators in the media based on video artifacts (their human disguises failing).
I love these videos like I love toddlers trying to tell jokes. They are the very best.
You wear them with cruel shoes.
Argh! Cruel Shoes.
See also: stores acknowledging that not all of their costumers are Christians by saying “Happy Holidays”.
See also Rachel Ray’s terror scarf of death.
Christianity is not irrational. It is trans-rational, which is an entirely different thing.
So, that’s like saying Christlims aren’t c-r-a-z-y, they’re Crazy Like a Fox
Ooooooo. Mark Judge rides again.
Bryce Harper stealing second base proves that Obama is a lazy n*****r who never had to work for anything. Also too, that liberals are doomed. Seriously.
Somebody buy this guy a new bicycle.
To be fair though, Rachael Ray’s scarf was pretty damn terrifying. I’m still having nightmares about it.
nihilistech: The Sadly Cab is glad to have you (and yer Good Pooch) aboard!
As a previous lurker, you may know that I love critters. And most especially dogs. And most specially especially intelligent and attentive working dogs…bloodhounds, rescue dogs, sheep-herding dogs, explosive searchers, and suchlike.
So I’d like to know more about your canine companion: What breed is he/she? How long have has he/she been with you? What’s his/her personality like? Is he/she your first canine helper?
Also, what sort of modifcations help you with translating the visual computer stuff? (I’m a Luddite who doesn’t know computer-y stuff very well.)
Just another Fenwickian Question Barrage, which I am prone to do from time to time….
Those would be handcuffs intended for use on species other than Homo sapiens, like the handcuffs you use when you’re arresting a lemur.
I. LOVE. CRUEL SHOES.
I consider it sort of a formative part of my appreciation of the funny.
OMG, don’t get me started. Do you know how small lemur wrists are? So you’re trying to handcuff to the bed, grab the lube, and they escape as soon as you turn your back. It’s so fucking frustrating!
I MEAN, that happened to a friend of mine.
I shudder to think what manner of experiences were transformed into the Wendigo stories. Did they involve Republicans?
Cannibals, Republicans – what’s the diff?
VS: “How to Fold Soup” is one I remember fondly. I wonder whatever happened to my old copy of that book.
I have a special affection for ineffective working dogs.
Your classic cannibal will wait for you to die before eating your flesh.
JohnRev: That was some weak-tea sports analogy. I’m tempted to make up one about how the Orioles are 10 games over .500 with the 5th best record in the MLB…and y’know whut? Baltimore is a big union town!
Remember the strike season, and the owners wanted to use scab teams? The whole thing fell apart because Baltimore’s owner was the lone hold-out and said the team would forfeit the whole season rather than field a team of strike-breakers.
You know what else happened? In the season after the strike, attendence fell in MLB…but Camden Yards was sold-out plenty much.
Almost any liberal baseball simile would blow Judge’s feeble-minded candy-land predictive fantasy out o the water.
Also thanx for the link.
Also Bryce Harper, the centerpiece of Mike Judge’s idiotic fantasy, went 0 for 7 today! Conservatives are therefore d-o-o-o-m-e-d !
“but most of all, She had the jugs”
ROFL!
Did somebody say Jugs?
That man does not have red hair.
Okay, fine, here you go.
Okay, fine, here you go.
The title is incorrect. That wasn’t plastic surgery, it was karma.
OK, I can’t resist Piranhaconda on the SciFi channel. I don’t even think Provider saw that one coming.
You wear them with cruel shoes.
Shoes that no man would want to wear.
Oh so far it’s everything I expected. Think Ed Wood in the 21st century with money and CGI.
Spear’s just bein’ mean now.
My eyes.
My eyes.
Need some soft and soothing boobies.
Oh so far it’s everything I expected. Think Ed Wood in the 21st century with money and CGI.
That describes every SciFy channel movie ever made. I find them really endearing.
Obvious joke.
Need some soft and soothing boobies.
I have constant access. Not that soothing. Or even particularly exciting.
I have constant access. Not that soothing. Or even particularly exciting.
At no charge, I will provide a second opinion!
.
Line: “Nothing bad ever happens in Hawaii!”
I know who is going to be fodder next.
TEST COCKS!
.
That reminds me, I had a dream where I had to do a test cock that I hadn’t studied for. Suddenly, I realised I was naked. That gave me the idea to use my own cock.
I got a failing grade.
That reminds me, I had a dream where I had to do a test cock that I hadn’t studied for. Suddenly, I realised I was naked. That gave me the idea to use my own cock.
I got a failing grade.
HAR +1.
.
But seriously!
Encountering a leaky test cock is not that uncommon. DO NOT offer up your own cock as a substitute!
.
What about a petcock?
What about a petcock?
What you do in the privacy of your own home is none of my business. Just don’t connect it to the public water supply, and we cool.
.
Goodnight Sweet V’GER.
To be fair though, Rachael Ray
’s scarf wasis pretty damn terrifying. I’m still having nightmares about it.FIFYA
Goodnight Sweet V’GER.
I did not know until tonight that Persis Khambatta died of a heart attack at age 49. Sad.
.
the centerpiece of Mike Judge’s idiotic fantasy
Don’t you mean Mark Judge? King of the Hill suggests a conservatish bent but is hardly full wingnut.
Given that I turn 49 on Thursday (the solstice), I am perturbed.
.
King of the Hill suggests a conservatish bent but is hardly full wingnut.
Did you see the episode where Hank shakes hands with Dubya? CLASSIC!
.
If only George W. Bush could have limply shaken hands with everybody in America before the 2000 election, we might not have had to put up with him.
154 comments and still no love for Kate Bush. I am disappoint.
Damn it took me forever to place that actor but I knew I had seen him before – It’s the guy who played Sonny Black in Donnie Brasco. I’m sure he will eventually get eaten.
Need some soft and soothing boobies.
I have constant access. Not that soothing. Or even particularly exciting.
Maybe you’re using them wrong. Just saying…
Yup.
EPIC ride today. Deets 2 follow. PDX -> Fossil and back. 400+ miles. Seven hours seat time. Gin and Advil.
Arresting the lemur, also …
OK, I can’t resist Piranhaconda on the SciFi channel. I don’t even think Provider saw that one coming.
Oh, the Sci Fi channel. That brings back memories of high school… first half of the 2000s, before it became the wrestling channel. You’re saying there’s still actual sci-fi on there (however objectively awful)?
Please, people, it’s called SyFy now.
To be fair though, Rachael Ray is pretty damn terrifying
Obligatory.
They specialize in c-grade CGI monster flicks now, although even back in the day they had Mansquito. Why can’t they do something like Children of Dune again? I thought that was great.
Smut, that always will get a laugh from me. Punctuation is important, kids!
Although I bet the show where Rachel Ray actually cooks her family and her dog would get great ratings. Hell, they could put it on pay-per-view.
154 comments and still no love for Kate Bush. I am disappoint.
Well, Bush is an acquired taste.
For everyone who enjoyed the 40 worst drawings of Rob Liefeld, here come the next 40 worst: http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012/6/14/3084348/the-second-40-worst-rob-liefeld-drawings
VEG (Martha Payne) has her school-lunch blog shut down by Teh Man … & then the Interwebs strikes back!
I heart happy endings.
Thanks for the link, N__B. I’m having a lot of fun reading it.
This was on C-Span, at least the Wasilla Word Salad Shooter. I was too ascared to watch it. [WARNING: Politico link]
n, LAS VEGAS — The RightOnline conservative bloggers conference opened Friday evening with a tribute to Andrew Breitbart, the late conservative pundit known for his pugilistic journalism and confrontations with the left.
Hundreds of bloggers from across the country are in Las Vegas for the conference, headlined by former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. Also speaking are such conservative luminaries as blogger Michelle Malkin, columnist Jonah Goldberg and talk radio host Hugh Hewitt.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0612/77483.html#ixzz1y1RADQG6
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0612/77483.html#ixzz1y1QhVRrf
Two links is like flipping the bird twice. Sorry.
Well, Bush is an acquired taste.
I’ll have you know that Kate Bush was/is a bona fide pop genius who … no, wait, I see what you did there.
Well, Bush is an acquired taste.
It’ll get you in to trouble, too … mark my words.
Was he talking about shrubbery because I don’t think I would like eating shrubbery no matter how it was prepared or how often I tried it or was he refering to the band Bush in which case I agree, they are an aquired taste.
The neighbors used to plant kale and I used to eat it. Satisfying, but bitter.
I couldn’t help but wonder if BBBB is enjoying the traditional Bloomsday breakfast of fried kidneys.
Nah, worked a graveyard shift, so I slept all morning. When I finally got up, I sliced some beef heart thinly, then cooked it with sliced onions and cabbage in soy sauce, mirin, and sesame oil, with garlic and five-spice powder. I totally spaced Bloomsday.
Well, Bush is an acquired taste.
It’ll get you in to trouble, too … mark my words.
Or keep you out of it.
We want … a shrubbery.
or was he refering to the band Bush in which case I agree, they are an aquired taste
Sixteen Stone is a mighty fine record album.
Well, as the Frenchmuslimappeasers say “Ferme la bouche!”
Ah, brassica, how we loves ya.
I believe the penalty for that is telling a clown you’re his papa and accepting whatever beating that incurs.
Isn’t Bloomsday the name of an episode of The Tick cartoon where El Seed tries to destroy The City with a giant flower?
I believe the penalty for that is telling a clown you’re his papa and accepting whatever beating that incurs.
I’m kinda scowly and fierce looking, I don’t think some random clown would throw down.
Isn’t Bloomsday the name of an episode of The Tick cartoon where El Seed tries to destroy The City with a giant flower?
Carpeted Suit Man has to be the best superhero EVER!!!!
Bloomsday was like the greatest comic strip ever.
I like Paul Krugman.
My colleague David Brooks tells us that Republicans see the economic crisis as showing that the welfare state is in its “death throes”. And it’s true — that is what they think, or claim to think.
And I understand why that’s what they want to think. But the fact that they think this is a testimony to the ability of people to see what they want to see, in the teeth of the evidence.
http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/16/death-throes/
Bloomsday was like the greatest comic strip ever.
Dedalus the Penguin was a great character.
Need some soft and soothing boobies.
Here ya go.
Hey! This is a family blog!
Yeah, the Manson Family!
/Comedy jokes.
Yeah, the Manson Family!
Morticia Manson was hot.
Morticia Manson was hot.
Feisty, too …
Those boobies have gone blue with the cold.
I don’t think some random clown would throw down.
Because I hate you all.
Feisty, too …
I don’t see much of a resemblance.
Because I hate you all.
Fucking clowns, how do they work?
Re: Bloomsday. I’d like to think that wimmens everywhere rubbed one out for Molly.
Re: Bloomsday. I’d like to think that wimmens everywhere rubbed one out for Molly.
Well, that would be an interesting accompaniment to the traditional readings… I guess that would constitute a moanologue.
Not sufficiently limber for a sololickuy.
Not sufficiently limber for a sololickuy.
That is most certainly not a bag of tits.
Goddam liberals you are all gay and also communist, Obsama is your bum boy, you want blacks to rule you arent you proud of your nation your race? No you are self hating we here in Heartland are not, we will depose the usrupter, and if the election is fixed by the buyest liberal media then we will have a revolution and make some TEA
Pretty weaksauce attempt to out-Gary the various Garys.
Fenwick:
…I’ve returned with these artifacts from his prose:
First, the publisher quotes Ben Jonson’s statement that Shakespeare is “not of an age, but for all time.” Next, it says that Shakespeare became famous by writing erotic poetry. Then, it says that Shakespeare was “a great genius whose lofty imagination is matched by his sympathy for all kinds of human behavior,” which would presumably include sex with and among children. Finally, the same school boards that purchase, at great expense, Holt, Rinehart and Winston textbooks pretend to be shocked when the children entrusted to them have sex.
So this guy believes that the reason teenagers have sex these days is because hi-skoolers read in their textbooks that Shakespeare was infamously sympathetic toward sexual promise-kitty, and as all the millions of hi-skoolers revere Shakespeare so, what the hey, they’ll give it a try themselves… oooh that feels good, they’re addicted to love now. Whereas, had all these hi-skoolers not pored over those secular liberal textbooks so effortfully and in such depth the way they do, they’d obviously be disinterested in sex, probably disgusted a bit at the idea in fact. Well, there’s a self-evident proposition! Thus all this teen pregnancy and bad stuff like that is the fault of those liberal devils at Holt McDougal and Houghton Mifflin, well, them and Ben Jonson.
“It’s in the Trees! It’s Coming!”
‘Cause there’s a gay under my bed and a little Muslim man in my head.
Also, stalkers! (first 45 seconds)
And finally Spiny Norman.
There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
.
goddamned ents
It’s in the trees!
Rodney King is dead.
I’m sure some epically fetid mangoes will come of this.
“we are intimidated by a Muslim woman who won’t ring up our pork sausage.”
Like that ever happened. And if it ever does happen it’s the GOP’s fault for passing laws that pharmacists can second-guess your doctor to decide what medicine you are allowed to receive solely on their interpretation of Holy Scripture.
“[Obama] greets Muslims with greetings that Muslims reserve for use only among themselves.” Another lie. Jon Carson apparently doesn’t know this but heads of state treat each other with respect. And it was G.W. Bush that greeted the King of Saudi Arabia with a kiss on the lips!
So for Obama to merely bow to the Saudis and not kiss them seems to me to be a good thing.
What our once-great nation has become when insane crackpots like Carson aren’t just rambling to themselves on the street corner dressed in rags but have ‘respected’ blogs that have followers that hang on his every insane word.
At last! Vatican tells how to know whether that’s really the allegedly virgin alleged Mary on your toast. http://www.christianpost.com/news/vatican-publicizes-guide-on-confirming-virgin-mary-apparitions-75498/. No mention of dog butt Jesi.
I love Portland
Gotta smoke that tree…
“Come on, Fatima, don’t you know it’s really dangerous for a guy not to have release once he’s been turned on? You wouldn’t want to be responsible for my balls falling off, would you?”
Guidelines on apparitions:
Apparitions without collective hysteria? Ahhhh, that’s no fun at all.
Negative criteria include… “psychosis, collective hysteria.”
This is coming from a religion?
What else comes from religion but hysteria &c?
OK, I can’t resist Piranhaconda on the SciFi channel. I don’t even think Provider saw that one coming.
No I didn’t, not at all. I think that I am gonna have to make up a list of animals bolted to other animals, so I can pull it out when a new Saturday syfy joint makes an appearance.
…
animals bolted to other animals
I made a pigeon-rat…
Grizzlemur
Giant Antelope Eater
Rhinocerostrich
Camelephant
Saint Bernaardvark
Chimpandazee
Donkiwi
Pampasmoose
Pigeons is flying rats to begin with.
Smoking the tree.
Giraffelope
Peacockatoo
Ibison
Chipmonkey
Elkangaroo
Toadolphin
So lemme get this straight:
– it’s TERRBLE for a Mooslem cabdriver to refuse passengers, but A-OK for a lunch counter to refuse blacks (thanks, Rand Paul!)
– it’s TERRBLE for a Mooslem checkout clerk to refuse to ring up pork, but A-OK for your local Talibangelical pharmacist to refuse to sell birth control.
– it’s TERRBLE that we can’t bring up the religion of scary brown people, but bringing up the religion or politics of guys like Breivik or McVeigh is “libral smears”.
As far I can tell, the greatest sin here is “doing stuff American conservatives don’t like”. Which chapter of what fairy-tale book did they dig THAT commandment up out of?
Good news, Sadlies! I haz job interview this week for a position repping lines to gift stores. If I get the job, I will be the proud purveyor of “Cat Butt Gum,” “You Nasty” hand sanitizer, Remote-control zombies, and various and sundry other bits of wonderfulness.
Best of all, I can still service the schools who have signed up for fundraisers next year while doing the job. Wish me luck!
Fingers crossed for you, Jennifer. But you know this line of work is really beneath you. But, on the other hand, we all understand the urge to eat regularly. Good luck, hon.
When I found out Cat Butt Gum didn’t literally come from the butt of a cat, I demanded a refund.
But you know this line of work is really beneath you.
But Cat Butt Gum! How could anyone say no?
Suezboo – thanks for the crossed fingers.
But “beneath me”? I don’t think that – I generally enjoy sales and I’m a fanatic for funny novelty stuff. That wouldn’t be all I would be carrying, either – there’s books, picture frames, kids’ toys, etc – the usual assortment of stuff you expect to find in a card or gift shop. Sales can be pretty easy when you’re really enthusiastic about the products you’re selling, so I’m kind of pumped about it. I expect the usual – the first year doing sales in anything where you aren’t established, you don’t make a lot; but having been in that position several times before, I know you make enough to get by, and usually the second year you double what you did in the first. So…I’m hoping I get it.
Hmmmm. I may be needing some of them there zombies.
I have………………..plans.
To quote Father Grigory, AIM FOR THE HEAD!
Jennifer, you’d be living the “Archie McPhee” dream!
To quote Father Grigory, AIM FOR THE HEAD!
Kill the body and the head will die.
Father’s Day Post!
Topical!
B^4, I know, right? And what a wonderful dream it is!
One thing’s for sure – I’ll be giving the BEST PRESENTS EVAR!!!!
Jen, I’m sorry if I offended you in any way. I absosurelycompletely did not mean to do that.
It’s just that doing sales work like that is my own idea of hell on earth and I extrapolated to you. My bad.
From a backroom type.
Cerebrus I hope you are right. The Rethuglicans are desperate – they see the demographics 20 years down the line, when white aging males will be a minority, and they know their voting base will disappear . They can’t make a serious play for the Latino vote without pissing off said white males – same with the rising Asian vote. It’s more or less now or never for them so they have to go all out to end democracy