8
The Sounds of (Race) Science
ABOVE: Joseph “All-White” Curl
Shorter Joseph Curl, The Moonie Times
Hip-hop legend MCA passes on; Obama says not a word
- The failure of our rap-loving mulatto President to say anything in public about the death of a white rapper is all the proof I need of his undeniable prejudice against all white people.
File the latest bout of logorrhea masquerading as political commentary from Moonie Times columnist Joseph Curl in the “Heads I Win, Tails Obama Loses” folder, which already is chock full of other examples, most of which run along these lines: if Obama eats the fried chicken, he’s lazy and shiftless; if he passes it up, he’s arrogant and uppity.
There is one amusing aspect to wingnuts playing HIW,TOL — namely that it often requires them to tread into cultural territory with which they are manifestly unfamiliar, e.g., to become an instant expert on Negro basketballers in March Madness or a connoisseur of jerk sauces or some such. So here we have the spectacle of a guy who manifestly spends his time watching the Time-Life DVDs of old Lawrence Welk shows professing some enthusiasm for hip-hop. Right. Next you’ll see me writing on some arcane aspects of sexual prestidigitation by geisha girls in Japanes bordellos or the finer literary points of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Okay, so let’s roll the train wreck:
This column is about politics. Today, it’s not. Still, there’s Watergate, Paul Revere, Edward R. Murrow, fighting for your right, so, kinda still.
Huh? Did the editors at the Moonie Times take off for a day of hot tubs, cocaine and hookers in Reno and leave the IT department staff behind to edit the newspaper’s columnists? Oh wait, that would assume that this is worse than usual for the Moonie Times. My bad.
Adam Nathaniel Yauch died Friday. If you’re age 16-66 — maybe 106 — you know him as MCA, one-third of the Beastie Boys. He was 47. Way too young. But gone.
OK, so what was your first clue that everything Curl knows about Yauch came from Wikipedia? Using Yauch’s middle name, maybe? Thinking that 16-year-olds think the Beastie Boys are cool?
Now, half-white Barack Obama (exactly my age) didn’t say a word, even though he was talking to college kids that day, but make no mistake, MCA was no Jay-Z or Kanye West.
Okay, I’m still trying to unpack where half-white came from or why Curl, while putting down his dog-whistle for a moment, didn’t just go all the way and call Obama that “ni**er.” But then he picks the dog whistle right back up and starts blowing it like crazy with the reference to Jay-Z and Kanye: presumably underlining the difference between bling-encrusted, tooth-jeweled, gang-gesturing, white-girl-dissing bad (Negro) rappers and good (White) rappers.
But nothing from the first half-white, half-black president (MSM has made him black — he’s not; he’s half-and-half. No, Trayvon Martin wouldn’t have looked like his son.)
This creepy discourse on racial purity and blood lines is meant, I suppose, to underline that Obama is not just a racist but a race traitor too — at least to his white race — which makes him even worse than normal blacks who are racist against, and oppress horribly, a race to which they do not belong.
The president took time from his busy schedule to comment on the passing of black musicians. When Whitney Houston, a longtime crack addict, died this year, the White House put out a statement.
Oh, the butthurt, the butthurt! Think of all the white, drug-free kids who will hang themselves in despair because the President made them feel worthless when he mentioned a black crack ho and not a white guy!!
And when accused pedophile and drug addict Michael Jackson died in 2009, the White House weighed in with the president’s thoughts.
That’s it. That’s the last straw. I can’t wade in this muck anymore. I’m going to take a shower, chug a bottle of tequila, snort about a pound of crushed Oxycontin, and try to forget I ever read any of this.
M. Bouffant said,
May 8, 2012 at 9:51
Plunging the depths.
M. Bouffant said,
May 8, 2012 at 9:52
Second!
John Revolta said,
May 8, 2012 at 10:15
A couple of words about Levon WOULD have been nice.
Seriously though, this is some ugly shit. That dogwhistle’s sounding more like a foghorn.
Bozo the Cocksucker said,
May 8, 2012 at 10:34
Even shorter Joseph Curl: “Niggers.”
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 11:51
Curl sounds disappointed that Obama isn’t striped b&w.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 8, 2012 at 12:53
The fact is, Curl is correct. At every turn, Obama is pro-black, anti-white. This is rasism of the highest order, in the highest office. Obamas silence on MCA is equivelent to what Hitler did to the Jews.
Cole said,
May 8, 2012 at 13:44
“But nothing from the first half-white, half-black president (MSM has made him black — he’s not; he’s half-and-half. No, Trayvon Martin wouldn’t have looked like his son.)”
This creepy discourse on racial purity and blood lines is meant, I suppose, to underline that Obama is not just a racist but a race traitor too — at least to his white race — which makes him even worse than normal blacks who are racist against, and oppress horribly, a race to which they do not belong.
Could be, but I ‘spect it’s more of the “we spent nearly 400 years labeling anyone with even a single negro great-great-great-grandparent as a ni**er, no matter what they “looked” like, and it really takes the piss out of us to find one who seems proud of their ni**er heritage when they could pretend to be white like a normal person would do” variety.
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 13:45
Beastie Boys are teh Jew of liberal fasism, eh, Gary?
Do you have the Duplo keyboard with the giant keys so’s you don’t pinch your fingers, too?
Major Kong said,
May 8, 2012 at 13:48
I’m a 50-year-old white guy and I never “got” the Beastie Boys. I guess their music would sound good at a frat party, but that’s about as far as it goes.
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 13:56
I also noted that the Sexy Corpse, the dreamy Paul Ryan, said nothing about MCA, and he’s between 16 and 106, and, you know not living, as such, but still.
The dashing Yertle McConnell, 16106, and even having an M and both a capital C and a lowercase c in his name? Crickets…
Oh, but pop-culture rectal thermometer Greta Van Susteren, famous for her interpretive dance of No Sleep Til Brooklyn while wearing a merkin woven from 7 teabags, and also a dead ringer for Ayn Rand and the mujsic store guy from the Electric Fetus, who was a huge Beasties fan, had to have dedicated a special comment on the passing, correct? Sadly,…
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 13:57
This link seems to come in handy a lot these days.
Major Kong, they’re for much more than frat parties. The stuff after Licensed to Ill got a lot more nuanced and neat. Although I loved “Licensed.”
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 13:59
Those of us who’ve been praying for our first Zebra-American president are pretty butt-hurt.
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:00
Preview is the crew of WordPress editism, or some such…
Chyron HR said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:02
I, too, am a lifelong fan of Yertle McRCA of the Beast Street Boys, and I am OUTRAGED that you liberal hypocrites aren’t demanding that his killer be brought to justice.
Major Kong said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:18
Or like Frank Gorshin in that Star Trek episode.
Chris said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:23
First, they were silent about the white rappers, and I did not say anything, for I was not a white rapper…
actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:37
Lemme get this straight, Short Hairs:
Michael Jackson, world-renowned pop idol, the biggest selling artist of the 20th Century, dies, and the White House gives an eulogic statement.
Whitney Houston, arguably the greatest singer of the pop era (note: arguably) and a multi-platinum selling artist in her own right dies, and the White House offers its condolences.
Meanwhile, one-third of a band that had comparatively modest success when compared to the two strawmen you propped up dies, and somehow you expect parity?
What would you call that, affirmative action for failed whiggers?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:38
Still waiting for that Obama confession, re: Andy Breitbart’s execution.
Too.
~
actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:39
I mean, they said nothing when Levon Helm died, and Helm was undoubtedly the more influential musician when compared to the Beasties. You want to make that argument, then you might have a point. But if Helm got nothing, MCA gets even less.
actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:41
I guess their music would sound good at a frat party, but that’s about as far as it goes.
They made some pretty strong political statements with their music, Major. I’m not a big fan, but I give them props for doing more than “yo”-ing their way through life.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:42
failed whiggers?
-1000
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:52
Major Kong does not approve of pissing on the 3rd rail.
~
Lawnguylander said,
May 8, 2012 at 14:53
Jay-Z>Beastie Boys> Kanye>The Band
kg said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:06
The best part of waking up is reading this comment.
I’ll be chortling over that one all day, I will.
kg said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:08
Thats it. You’ve gone and shit on my parade.
El Manquécito said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:08
Obama was silent when Earl Scruggs died despite the banjo being a Negro invention that was liberated from Africa with the
slavesmigratory agricultural laborers. This disrespect of the composer of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song proves his hatred of the white race, Granny and Jethro and his abiding lust for Ellie Mae.ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:23
O.T. Light reading (Painter of).
~
Anonymous said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:23
Does Obummer have to give a seperate eulogy for each of Spinal Tap’s drummers, or can he lump them all together into one speech?
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:29
Pretty sure that when Obama was traveling back in time to fake his birth certificate, he managed to give props to Mick Shrimpton.
g said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:45
Adam Nathaniel Yauch died Friday. If you’re age 16-66 — maybe 106 — you know him as
Seriously? Really? I’m 57 and worked in the music industry when the Beastie Boys came up. My friend Dennis toured with them. Still, I didn’t know Adam Yauch’s name.
A hallmark of public mourning ritual is that politicians and leaders mark the passing of people who died unexpectedly, in tragic or violent circumstances, or of those who contributed significantly to society. Sad as it must be for Yauch’s family, his death was yet another one of the quiet, progressive deaths that so many families experience.
I’ve seen this wingnut meme before and first thought it was a joke. Why Yauch? Why not some other white artist? They sure didn’t bring it up with Levon Helm. Could it have something to do with…oh, I don’t know….the style of music?
Plus – really? He thinks 16 year olds know and revere the Beastie Boys? Is he acquainted with any 16 year olds?
Pryme said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:46
Even shorter Joseph Curl: “Niggers.”
That’s pretty much going to be the shorter for every Obama-centric post these yahoos write from now until November, right?
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:46
Obama was publicly silent on the passing of Captain Beefheart, but I like to think Malia brought it up over dinner, and then Barack and Michelle started arguing about what’s the best song on Trout Mask Replica.
(I hate playing favorites, but I especially like Frownland, Moonlight on Vermont, Bill’s Corpse, When Big Joan Sets Up, and others.)
Pryme said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:49
Come to think of it, Obama never recognized when Heavy D died. He obviously has a bias against Overweight Lovers.
Major Kong said,
May 8, 2012 at 15:57
Sorry if I’m dissing everybody’s favorite band. The whole smart-assed white rappers from Brooklyn schtick just never did it for me. I guess I just like stuff that has, you know……melody.
Pryme said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:07
Sorry if I’m dissing everybody’s favorite band.
The “Your Favorite Band Sucks” T-Shirt does exist, y’know. So no real harm done.
Lawnguylander said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:12
If I didn’t know what a melody was, I wouldn’t, you know,,,brag about it.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:22
Need a laugh?
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:24
No, Trayvon Martin wouldn’t have looked like his son.
Indeed, a tall, skinny kid could not possibly look like he was the son of a tall, skinny man, and for Obama to imply otherwise is RAAAAAACISM.
P.S. if this guy really wants to do the percentages, it’s not like Obama had his kids by budding.
El Manquécito said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:25
you know,,,brag about it.
Rare example of the comma using camouflage, disguised as an ellipsis. A comma chameleon.
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:37
a guy who manifestly spends his time watching the Time-Life DVDs of old Lawrence Welk shows professing some enthusiasm for hip-hop
I dunno the two are not mutually exclusive. My dad likes both Lawrence Welk and (Latin) Hip-Hop. Then again, my dad used to be a Republican. Until the party drifted too far to the right for him: btw, how come you always here people whining about how they “didn’t leave the Democratic party, it left” them, but you never hear from the myriad people who left the GOP? Must be that liberal media I reckon …
Bozo the Cocksucker said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:38
It doesn’t really count as “sorry” if you’re going to go ahead and insult an entire genre anyway. You don’t like hip-hop, you don’t like hip hop. That’s fine, the fuck do I care. Just don’t fucking sneer about it like it makes you better than anyone when it doesn’t even make you any different from anyone.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:42
If he had said something about Yauch’s passing, they would have accused him of pandering to the youth, or being against white people for embracing “hipped hop” culture.
RWW said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:43
Since Obama is exactly half white and exactly half black according to this Moonie Times idiot, one would expect him to only comment on the death of white rappers half the time. So in his second term, he has to eulogize the next dead white rapper and be silent on the next two deaths of blackity black artists and everything will even out. He can do that while handling budgets, legislation, court appointments, foreign crisises and killing whitey.
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:44
Can’t we all get along? Maybe we can find something we all agree on, like if Obama doesn’t say anything about Maurice Sendak it is SO OVER.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:49
That’s it. That’s the last straw. I can’t wade in this muck anymore. I’m going to take a shower, chug a bottle of tequila, snort about a pound of crushed Oxycontin, and try to forget I ever read any of this.
You could always console yourself by eating a whole Cookie Puss.
kg said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:59
Had a Choco Taco the other night. Its no Cooky Puss, of course.
RWW said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:59
Also too, why doesn’t the Moonie Times send the White House a list of people, sorted by race of course, who should and shouldn’t merit a presidential mention upon passing away. It will make score-keeping on this vital subject so much easier in that second term.
Pryme said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:05
This. (give credit where it’s due: http://gawker.com/5908434/obamas-new-campaign-ad-it-gets-better-for-the-economy).
jim said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:12
Nakedly pining for the good old days of universal White Male Affirmative Action in Amerika = this.
I suspect MCA would find all the hand-wringing of all these VERY CONCERNED trolls pretty rich, given that he played some benefit concerts for the Obama campaign circa 2008. There’s always room for
Jell-Omore inconvenient information in the good ol’ Memory Hole.“That’s pretty much going to be the shorter for every Obama-centric post these yahoos write from now until
November2017, right?”FTFY
Tone troll said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:18
Well that’s a fine how do you do. We all know that musical taste is something on which reasonable people can disagree. We can even disagree in ways that make us appear elitist and we can all be friends. Who among us hasn’t humored some blowhard when they drone on about how music sucks these days and how rag-time and jazz are a pernicious corrupting influence, unlike the wholesome polka bands they had when he was a boy? We need to focus on the things we have in common. The things on which we can all agree
That the dude in the tradition peruvian bands that plays the pan pipes needs to chuck that thing and buy a saxophone or something.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:19
This shit is flat out offensive.
1) Bitch please. DO NOT talk about MCA like you knew who the fuck he was.
2) Bitch please. DO NOT call Obama a racist because he didn’t say anything about (what I consider to be) a cornerstone of early rap/punk/generally cool stuff
3) Bitch please. Go to hell and die.
Suezboo said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:25
Hey, the Major ain’t no whippersnapper, ya know?
I mean I grew up with the Beatles and the Stones and Hendrix and Elvis …. ..and….
Every generation must accept that the previous generation will not like their music. My dad hated the Beatles; I’m not fond of rap or hip-hop. It’s the cycle of life (Oh, and Elton)
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:25
Deadthreaded because apparently I need to appropriate a clue stick.
daphne: Fuck right off.
On the one hand I was waiting for a monumental smackdown, on the other hand I was really impressed that so many managed to engage thier ignore the troll button.
As far as Daftne’s “concerns” about grammar are concerned, I am more concerned with the legibility of “her” formatting of a blog comment. I had no idea who “she” was talking to for a moment, and had to read the shit twice.
Now granted, my problem might be in the chair or between the ears, but if i were to attempt to dissect someone’s sense of fashion, I would make damn sure that I was’t wearing my laundry outfit.
[now to read the new and likely velvety goodness]
.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:27
Also:
“You know him as…”
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING SCUZBAG. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
That condescending little term just flames me. If I ever meet this guy, I’m going to break all 12 of his fucking fat fucking webbed fingers.
Why is this making me so fucking angry. I want to break every bone in this fucker’s body.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:27
I couldn’t get past the picture, it kills me!
All right I shall dive back in, though i do hear the siren song of an omelette whispering in the breeze.
.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:32
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:44
Can’t we all get along?
Yes, I’m with Tigris. How about politics, that’s a natural unitary topic.
~
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:33
Who among us hasn’t humored some blowhard when they drone on about how music sucks these days and how rag-time and jazz are a pernicious corrupting influence, unlike the wholesome polka bands they had when he was a boy?
You do realize that polka celebrates substance abuse, no?
On the one hand I was waiting for a monumental smackdown, on the other hand I was really impressed that so many managed to engage thier ignore the troll button.
Truth to tell, we were all too busy fantasizing about Daphne and Velma getting it on in a haunted women’s locker room.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:36
Now we know who’s going to be the guest judge on this season’s “Drag Race.”
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:39
Now we know who’s going to be the guest judge on this season’s “Drag Race.”
OMG I would love that SO MUCH. That would be an absolute riot.
I’m good at saying BITCH, PUHHLEASE!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:40
Rare example of the comma using camouflage, disguised as an ellipsis. A comma chameleon.
Commaflage?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:40
The failure of our rap-loving mulatto President to say anything in public about the death of a white rapper is all the proof I need of his undeniable prejudice against all white people.
I think Obambi has outsourced his shit to Negrodamus.
The really sad thing about the Niggerama the right wing is gorgeing themselves on is that there is a very real young dead kid. Who like all kids of his age was not a perfectly formed person, but one who seemed to have a lot of potential and is now dead because a dude with fear inspired shitstain underoos was carrying a gun.
If calling me a nigger on every hour of the day* would in anyway ameliorate your suffering (terrified white assholes, including octoroons that can “pass” like Zimmerman) have at it. I can arrange to hangout on 72nd and Broadway in NYC for a number of hours a day or on main street on any town on a tour of the heartland and will eat your hatred with a smile.
*Bathroom breaks, a lunch hour and a salary will be required, but if you pony up the dough feel free to call my mother a ‘ho, with the proviso that when you have had your way with me you knock the shit off for the rest of the day.
.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:40
Truth to tell, we were all too busy fantasizing about Daphne and Velma getting it on in a haunted women’s locker room.
We also discovered a new stalking target. mmmmmmmmm yes. She WILL be mine. She will.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:41
If I ever meet this guy, I’m going to break all 12 of his fucking fat fucking webbed fingers.
Nice one, high six!
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:42
No, Trayvon Martin wouldn’t have looked like his son.
Indeed, a tall, skinny kid could not possibly look like he was the son of a tall, skinny man, and for Obama to imply otherwise is RAAAAAACISM.
Funny how none of these assholes ever comments on the tremendous facial resemblance between Obama and his maternal grandfather.
P.S. if this guy really wants to do the percentages, it’s not like Obama had his kids by budding.
HOW DO WE KNOW THAT?
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:43
How about politics, that’s a natural unitary topic.
Or who’s the hottest. Because it’s totally $person_I_like and not $person_you_like.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:46
Speak for yourself.
And again…speak for yourself.
Tone troll said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:47
What substance? Beer? If drinking beer is substance abuse, call me a substance abuser. Beer is not just the downfall of fat sports fans / serial drunk drivers / alcoholics. To quote a
wiseman: “Beer is the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”tldr; so polka promotes drinking beer to excess. What’s the down side?
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:47
Granted, I’m usually the contrarian because I’m not into busty redheads. So I rain all over the Boner Parade with my HOT DUDES.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:47
and also a dead ringer for Ayn Rand
holy crap…i never noticed this before…ain’t that a bag of tits?
polka is also celebrates thievery
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:47
Tim Daly’s finest role, Ms. Hyde: http://tgscifi.rachelshaven.com/images/mshyde095_0001.jpg
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:47
and also a dead ringer for Ayn Rand
holy crap…i never noticed this before…ain’t that a bag of tits?
polka also celebrates thievery
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:48
HEY WTF?
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:48
So I rain all over the Boner Parade with my HOT DUDES
also, too…thanks for the prezzy in the last thread…rowr…
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:49
The problem with busy redheads is they don’t have time for men.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:50
Speak for yourself.
And again…speak for yourself.
So, you’re saying that a story about a crooked real estate developer disguising herself as the ghost of Sappho to scare off the patrons of an old health resort in order to put up condos doesn’t interest you?
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:50
So I rain all over the Boner Parade with my HOT DUDES
That’s not very nice. Don’t be a bonerkiller.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:51
Okay, so let’s roll the train wreck:
I am giggling now. Thanks tintin. I am however certain that i return to a state of righteous indignation shortly.
I will take this time to alert the ladies that I have a new post up at my original blog and at my new place Wingularious that has a few pictures from back in the day when I was a fetching young lad in a rock band.
Enjoy. :)
I however feel that i am gonna be pissed in a minute or two.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:54
This column is about politics. Today, it’s not. Still, there’s Watergate, Paul Revere, Edward R. Murrow, fighting for your right, so, kinda still.
This motherfucker is drawing a paycheck signed by Moon or one of his associates?
I am fucking glad that the baseball bat is outside right now because I might contemplate teeing my own head up. I only got that far and am now properly riled.
.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:54
So I rain all over the Boner Parade with my HOT DUDES
How about raining all over the Boehner Parade with HOT HOUSE MINORITY LEADERS?
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:55
we may have a new source of internet ickiness:
i was googling trayvon martin’s heritage because i had it in my head for some reason that he is also mixed race…anyhoo, i found a site called ‘faith and heritage’ and here’s the very first fucking thing it says:
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:58
remember how i tagfail and such?
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:58
Faith and Heritage
I work tangential to a field where the word “heritage” is used quite often in its usual sense, but honestly when I see that word in random internet scrolling I assume it’s being used by a neo-confederate whining about how he can’t have slaves any more.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:58
So, you’re saying that a story about a crooked real estate developer disguising herself as the ghost of Sappho to scare off the patrons of an old health resort in order to put up condos doesn’t interest you?
It does, she just won’t admit it…
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 17:59
remember how i tagfail and such?
I know. And it’s not like it’s hard to keep your eyes covered until you count to sixty.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:00
Huh? Did the editors at the Moonie Times take off for a day of hot tubs, cocaine and hookers in Reno and leave the IT department staff behind to edit the newspaper’s columnists?
Whoa, as a former member of an IT department who used to routinely crack up the copy writers in an advertising agency I take no small manner of offence to this slight. I think the department you want to crack on is “account executives” or the “HR department”
Just sayin’ Not that I am missing yer point.
.
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:00
I however feel that i am gonna be pissed in a minute or two.
You had me until Ham radio, dear.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:03
I know. And it’s not like it’s hard to keep your eyes covered until you count to sixty.
it took me waaaaaaaaay to long to get this…
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:04
Now, half-white Barack Obama (exactly my age) didn’t say a word, even though he was talking to college kids that day, but make no mistake, MCA was no Jay-Z or Kanye West.
I just had to see after i got to this point if the story in question had comments. Imma gonna oil the chains and gas up the saws.
.
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:04
it took me waaaaaaaaay to long to get this…
I’m silent and deadly…
Wait…
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:04
count to sixty.
Is that in mississippis or thousands?
Major Kong said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:05
I guess I really stepped in it that time.
Next time I’ll just stand under a Hornet’s nest and poke it with a stick.
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:07
Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch? Can I watch?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:08
You had me until Ham radio, dear.
Hell, a nerd has got to nerd. ;)
When I take apart some discarded clock radio and turn it into an emergency transmitter you might feel differently.
But seriously thanks for visiting, and now i have to get back to the madness at hand.
.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:09
I guess I really stepped in it that time.
No foul, Major, musical taste is completely subjective. Also, it’s not like you claimed to be a Creed fan.
TemperPedic said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:11
The Black Man kicks Romney’s ass in this first video of the 2012 Obama-Romney debate!
http://youtu.be/rqybRbHn0rk
Major Kong said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:12
No foul, Major, musical taste is completely subjective
Still, I should keep it to “I don’t like _______ “ instead of ” _______ sucks”.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:12
That’s not very nice. Don’t be a bonerkiller.
I am not often accused of this. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!
N__B said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:13
No fucking hating on underscores unless you want me to impotently threaten you over the internet!
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:13
a Creed fan.
Hastily makes sign of FSM…
Although, the most evil there was Stapp the human blutwurst. The band was fine. Not like Nickelback.
Major Kong said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:13
whimper…..
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:14
This creepy discourse on racial purity and blood lines is meant, I suppose, to underline that Obama is not just a racist but a race traitor too…
Actually that is a triple salchow involving the octoroonagon, and his traitorship of both races. The part on which you were riffing was a veritable pans pipe contructed of dog whistlestops.
I am still astonished that this guy gets paid. I might have to simply suck it up and go Sowell, but with better turns of phrase.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:17
That’s it. That’s the last straw. I can’t wade in this muck anymore.
I dont blame you for a minute tintin, that shit is foul. However, I am having one of those days wherein I feel fortified, have my wetsuits properly cleaned and am ready to take on all comers.
Once i finish reading the comments here, I will proceed, properly attired and outfitted to the mango farm.
.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:19
Although, the most evil there was Stapp the human blutwurst.
Don’t be dissing blutwurst!
Helmut Monotreme said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:22
I’m waiting for his post-Creed solo career: Ladies and Gentlemen for one night only: Scott Stapp and the Stapp Infection!
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:22
Even shorter entire Republican Party: “Niggers.”
FTFY.
The fact is, Curl is correct. At every turn, Obama is pro-black, anti-white. This is rasism of the highest order, in the highest office. Obamas silence on MCA is equivelent to what Hitler did to the Jews.
Fake Gary, that is some pretty weak sauce. I mean you are in the neighborhood, and I’ll give you an E for effort, but if I was the coach of your team, I would have you doing a couple of laps around the field.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:26
Oh, but pop-culture rectal thermometer Greta Van Susteren, famous for her interpretive dance of No Sleep Til Brooklyn while wearing a merkin woven from 7 teabags, and also a dead ringer for Ayn Rand and the mujsic store guy from the Electric Fetus, who was a huge Beasties fan, had to have dedicated a special comment on the passing, correct? Sadly,…
See fake Gary, this is an example of bringing it. You know that is has been brung when you come across a turn of phrase like “…merkin woven from 7 teabags…”
A thing of beauty paleo. Thanks for cracking me the fuck up.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:31
Obama was silent when Earl Scruggs died despite the banjo being a Negro invention that was liberated from Africa with the slaves migratory agricultural laborers. This disrespect of the composer of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song proves his hatred of the white race, Granny and Jethro and his abiding lust for Ellie Mae.
Giggles, thanks elM!
Does Obummer have to give a seperate eulogy for each of Spinal Tap’s drummers, or can he lump them all together into one speech?
Also Brill.
.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:31
There are about 10 different convos going on.
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:33
Don’t be dissing blutwurst!
All sausages are noble and wonderful and part of the cause and fight for the rights of products within animal casing everywhere and I’m not being indecisive.
And I’m German.
In as so much as stuff we are aware of and such, this was an allegory. Stapp wearing black leather resembled nothing so much as an overripe eggplant. He had as much business wearing leather as I have holding a shepherd’s crutch and reciting Portnoy’s Complaint on top of a table in a Nepalese barbeque.
Shit don’t fit.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:35
So in his second term, he has to eulogize the next dead white rapper and be silent on the next two deaths of blackity black artists and everything will even out. He can do that while handling budgets, legislation, court appointments, foreign crisises and killing whitey.
Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?
.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:41
did any of you know that today is ‘polka tuesday’ at our local am station? i am proud that i established that tradition before i told the gm to eat shit and die…
also in local news you may or may not know, the publisher of our weekly newspaper ‘the hooterville indigestion’ has literally said, ‘nana nana boo boo’ concerning his lack of journalistic ethics…i’ve posted a few of his ‘editorials’ from time to time, but this one really floors me…
one of his fallbacks in his ‘column’ is the ever-popular, ever-sanctimonious, ever-100% wingnuttian correctness: the chain email…a couple of weeks ago he reprinted the one about how the obamas had their law licenses taken away from them….last week, a shit ton of people pointed out in their letters to the editor, ‘sadly, no!’ a couple of them posted links to snopes.com…
this is what he has to say about that in this week’s edition…this comes after once again disparaging ‘the press’ and most notably the white house correspondent’s dinner and…okay, i’m just going to start from there…verbatim:
*sigh*
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:42
and yes, that is ALL ONE PARAGRAPH…
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:43
I am not often accused of this. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Only through your words, love. Only the words. Everything is totally bonerific.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:44
If I ever meet this guy, I’m going to break all 12 of his fucking fat fucking webbed fingers.
Truth to tell, we were all too busy fantasizing about Daphne and Velma getting it on in a haunted women’s locker room.
My laptop has elevated its personal terror alert to 11 in light of these comments. I have emptied my cup in preperation of reading the rest of this thread.
.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:45
as I have holding a shepherd’s crutch and reciting Portnoy’s Complaint on top of a table in a Nepalese barbeque.
i smell a hit?!?!? next plymouth playhouse production?
Substance McGravitas said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:46
The Sex Pistols broke up at the start of 1978. The other three bands: lighting up America?
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:47
i smell a hit?!?!?
sorry…over-zealous punctuation from typing previous post…
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:48
The other three bands: lighting up America?
i’ll go with ‘america’ for no whammies, please…
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:51
next plymouth playhouse production?
The drrreeeeaaammmssss I have of playing Plymouth…. The big city light, brunch at Spiky’s Tavern and Pizzaria, autographed by hound hunters. Oh, swoon.
gocart mozart said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:51
When is Obama gonna say something about Maurice Sendak? Why does he hate the cuddly monsters in my closet?
Substance McGravitas said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:52
Incidentally the Hip Hop Family Tree comics are awesome.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:52
There are about 10 different convos going on.
That can happen when a body is late to the party and desperately attempting to catch up.
.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:54
the cuddly monsters in my closet?
What? He’s plenty nice to republican men.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:55
nyrationallibertarian
Rich, white, Jewish and successful – all things BHO hates thus no mention. Why should we be surprised?
RIP MCA you done good.
Anyone but Obama in ’12.
Live Free or Die!
This was the first comment over there and it got like 530 + “likes”.
Anybosy have a triple x sized wetsuit, ‘Cause it looks like I’m gonna need a fourth.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 18:57
Last two lines are me, tagfail completely my fault (though thankful that I did not appear to break the site).
.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:00
Rich, white, Jewish and successful – all things BHO hates thus no mention. Why should we be surprised?
RIP MCA you done good.
Yup, he hates half the men in his staff/cabinet.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:01
I personally am still waiting for any republican, anywhere to offer eulogies on the death of their dignity, civility, self respect, &c. Oh and the death of irony. That one really saddened me — it was so young and had so much potential!
Obama and MCA? Not so much.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:01
And the death of HTML encoding can be blamed on me: &c
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:03
did any of you know that today is ‘polka tuesday’ at our local am station? i am proud that i established that tradition before i told the gm to eat shit and die…
That is truly awesome! Our polka programs have been dominated by Bill Shibilski for so long, it would be impossible for an upstart to break into the format.
Incidentally the Hip Hop Family Tree comics are awesome.
I didn’t know Bil Keane was so hep.
The Sex Pistols, Bad Brains, Dead Kennedys, 999, were lighting up America, banging CBGB
I hope they wore condoms… that place was filthy!
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:03
When is Obama gonna say something about Maurice Sendak? Why does he hate the cuddly monsters in my closet?
dammit! you weren’t kidding about sendak were you? d00d was awesome…
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:04
Aw, that just warms the cockles of my heart. And that reminds me of my promise to bbkf as well, probably pretty good timing to get back to that actually…
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:05
There are about 10 different convos going on.
That can happen when a body is late to the party and desperately attempting to catch up.
There’s never really a thread- it’s more like a braid, or a skein.
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:09
I am still astonished that this guy gets paid. I might have to simply suck it up and go Sowell, but with better turns of phrase. – Provider_UNE
I have been trying to convince my wife that she could earn us a lot of money if she just became a conservative: I imagine the market for an African-American Jewish female purveyor of wingnutatude would be huge.
I dunno if better turns of phrase would really help you, though. I still remember the first time I heard Juan Williams on News and Notes: I couldn’t believe how intelligent he actually is. Evidently part of getting that wingnut welfare is dumbing it down and playing to certain stereotypes people have of you.
Substance McGravitas said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:09
[Weeps quietly]
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:09
bmclane
If Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi were gone we would be a better nation. Its when they came into power in 2006 running the House and Senate that Federal Spending went through the roof. Then Chris Dodd and Barry Frank did all they could to hide the truth about Fannie and Freddie. This after they FORCED BANKS to make ridiculous loans to unqualified people which caused the Housing collapse. Frank testified both were solvent a mere 3 months before they crashed! Bush tried to reign that in but was blocked by these 4 all the way.He did not go the EXECUTIVE ORDER ROUTE as King Obama does. Slippery Frank is “retiring” because he has ZERO chance of being re-elected. Dodd lays low praying no one will indict him. EVERY BILL the current House has sent the Senate is dead on arrival on Harry Reid’s desk. He never stops playing politics and has zero interests in working across the aisle. A snake politician he then points the finger at the House saying they are being run by the Tea Party; are Obstructionists, when it is REID who is the problem. Don’t believe me??? Then where is the Constitutionally required Budget from the Senate that is over 1000 days late??? House has sent in their budget but Reid won’t call it to the floor. We would not be in this mess if these 4 people were not in Washington. ALL DEMOCRATS.
My brain is beginning to hurt. followed by this:
Arturo Collapse
I agree. Those that voted for Ob*maCare are responsible for my parents’ and grandparents’ upcoming murders by the Death Panels (IAB) setup under Ob*maCare, a law that NOBODY had any time to read.
In a macabre sense, Jared Loughner, who shot Gabrielle Giffords, took action to oust her from office.
Nice.
Anyhoo the comments over there are disquick, which allows pretty much a total of
two parties to flag a comment and have it “dissapeared”. While i can’t be certain, a couple of responses on the first page of the comments were removed, and i suspect that they might have been cogent responses to the wingnuttia that infests the place like one of Jim’s masterworks.
Anyhoo, I’ll return with a comrade in arms if anyone is interested in excercising our first ammendment rights.
;)
.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:10
Our polka programs have been dominated by Bill Shibilski for so long, it would be impossible for an upstart to break into the format
my personal fave is the bruce bradley band
barefoot becky and the boys is a close second, tho…
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:11
Yup, he hates half the men in his staff/cabinet.
Heh heh. Vacuumslayer mentioned Obama’s staff. Heh heh heh. ( / Bevis and Butthead )
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:12
Incidentally the Hip Hop Family Tree comics are awesome.
I was going to say something about Hip Hop Family Circus but I HATE YOU SO MUCH B^4. *sniffle*
Pryme said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:14
What War On Women?: http://thinkprogress.org/media/2012/05/08/479998/jesse-lee-peterson-women-vote/
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:15
Evidently part of getting that wingnut welfare is dumbing it down and playing to certain stereotypes people have of you.
I can totaly see that. And yer wife could make a killing shilling for AIPAC and the repeal of affirmative action, while rolling with a pro-life veneer. Hell Hiatt would jump at the chance and you would be embroiled in a bidding war.
As her agent I would only want 10%.
:)
.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:15
Anyhoo, I’ll return with a comrade in arms if anyone is interested in excercising our first ammendment rights.
hey, i did my time yesterday with the american wankers…i don’t have the schpadoinkle today to take on moonie mangoes…thanks, though!
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:17
Polka? Some of us still miss the late, great Tibor Paul. Interestingly, whatever dialect of German (Danau Schwaben) he spoke managed to sound exactly like the Yiddish my family from Rafalavka spoke. Maybe he was a distant relative?
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:18
Substance McGravitas said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:09
You do realize that polka celebrates substance abuse, no?
[Weeps quietly]
This explains why I haven’t seen any polka from you!
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:19
thanks, though!
Don’t feel bad. i thought i ws made of sterner stuff, but the Giffords jab took the wind outta my sails.
.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:21
Don’t feel bad. i thought i ws made of sterner stuff, but the Giffords jab took the wind outta my sails.
yeah, stuff like that really shakes your faith in humanity, doesn’t it? i suggest you reload your gin and tonic from earlier, turn on some polka and stay hammered through the rest of your birthday week…
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:22
Arturo
I agree. Those that voted for Ob*maCare are responsible for my parents’ and grandparents’ upcoming murders by the Death Panels (IAB) setup under Ob*maCare, a law that NOBODY had any time to read.
In a macabre sense, Jared Loughner, who shot Gabrielle Giffords, took action to oust her from office.
First of all what is with the asterisk, and second of all who would feel perfectly comfortable celebrating a murderer in the comment section of a newspaper.
Godwin be damned, we really are approching a reprise of mid to late thirties Germany here.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:22
Romney’s disorderly conduct arrest really does illustrate how out of touch he is.
Every poor person, however dumb, has figured out that fines that leave them flat busted are nothing to rich folk/corps. We might as well say “these rules are for poor folk.” That’s why the officer at the lake arrested Romney — he couldn’t abide that attitude, stated to his face. And the charges were dropped because Romney could afford to cause a ruckus.
He’d like his wealth to be framed in terms of success, merit, etc. Maybe he’d like to recount how he stuck up for himself and how very normal and righteous an anecdote it is. Surely down-market conservatives understand this type of privilege and resent it on some level. But what am I saying, they like an unfair hierarchy and they can rationalize eating shit themselves to make it work.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:23
Heh heh. Vacuumslayer mentioned Obama’s staff. Heh heh heh. ( / Bevis and Butthead )
And you should see his cabinet!
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:25
i suggest you reload your gin and tonic from earlier, turn on some polka and stay hammered through the rest of your birthday week…
I will certainly take this suggestion under advisement.
:)
I will take a pass on anything that resembles work for a couple of days…
{Oh right i need to take a bird out of the freezer and let it thaw and involve myself in breakfast related program activities.]
.
Substance McGravitas said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:27
Hmm…can only think of these two polkas I’ve owned…but there must be more…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ_xlbRs_8M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t0zy0-Lr_Q
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:27
First of all what is with the asterisk, and second of all who would feel perfectly comfortable celebrating a murderer in the comment section of a newspaper.
Godwin be damned, we really are approching a reprise of mid to late thirties Germany here. – Provider_UNE
Funny comment: you know who else liked polka music?
Serious comment: indeed, the politician who was gunned down is Jewish. Not a metaphorical “Jew of liberal fascism” but an actual Jewy Jew Jew. And they claim Obama is an anti-Semite?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:28
But what am I saying, they like an unfair hierarchy and they can rationalize eating shit themselves to make it work.
Biscuit, meet crux.
Authoritarians are funny that way.
.
wiley said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:36
…we were all too busy fantasizing about Daphne and Velma getting it on in a haunted women’s locker room.
Inspired by a Riddled post, I finally looked up this “hentai” thing. Seeing Fred and Wilma like that was shocking. I won’t look up Scooby-Do hentai. Ever.
wiley said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:37
Ooowee, Provider. Spice-ay!
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:39
Do not search for “tentacle” evar!
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:45
In a macabre sense, Jared Loughner, who shot Gabrielle Giffords, took action to oust her from office.
For supposed patriots they sure hate EVERY FUCKING THING AMERICA STANDS FOR.
Pupienus Maximus said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:52
Dissing the blutwurst.
Pupienus Maximus said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:53
Bozo the Cocksucker said,
May 8, 2012 at 16:38 (kill)
Oh my! Such sensitive feefees!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:56
In a macabre sense, Jared Loughner, who shot Gabrielle Giffords, took action to oust her from office.
For supposed patriots they sure hate EVERY FUCKING THING AMERICA STANDS FOR.
So soon after disavowing JT Ready? As much as they whine about the Media blaming them when there’s an atrocity, they sure are apt to tacitly approve such atrocities when they think they’re safe inside their bubble.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:57
And they claim Obama is an anti-Semite?
Whats not to like about that, It would seem that he is everything else under the sun. The anti-semitical part of his being is perfectly consistant with his Islamic sensabilities, and as he attended madrassas in Indonesia and is a Blackity Black from kenya at least he can’t be accused of self hatred.
When you can imagine that someone is the most incompetent fool in the world (teleprompter bitches) who would make a deaf blind and dumb ameoba look like Einstien while simultaneously assigning to said person a cunning and nefariosity that would make Hitler blush while taking yourself seriously at the same time…
I now think i am gathering a picture of what it must look like to see a stadium full of ambulatory humans who missing their heads have stumps for necks and retain just enough of the medulla oblongata to handle the heartbeat and breathing.
.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:57
Seeing Fred and Wilma like that was shocking
If you think that was shocking, you should see what Fred and Barney are up to.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 19:58
Ooowee, Provider. Spice-ay!
Thanks Wiley, I think.
:)
.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:02
[hipster mode]
MCA was better in his earlier band, The Beastie Babies.
That said, their music was a bit derivative, and they kind of phoned it on on “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and “Wheels On The Bus.” Their version of “Old MacDonald” was truly inspired though.
[/hipster mode]
Helmut Monotreme said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:02
Oh they love everything America stands for, imperial wars, exploitation of cheap labor, destruction of the environment in pursuit of short term profit, union busting, glorification of violence, corporate looting of the public treasury, you name it, they are down with it. They just disagree with the window dressing of legitimacy we call the ‘rule of law’.
Gerald Fnord said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:05
>[...]or the finer literary points of Fifty Shades of Grey.
I first read that as
“[...]or the finer literary points of Sasha Grey.”
I like mine better.
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:05
Helmut Johnson is right and now I haz a sad.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:07
Helmut Johnson is right and now I haz a sad.
Sounds like someone needs a cookie.
Nym said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:08
When is Obama gonna say something about Maurice Sendak? Why does he hate the cuddly monsters in my closet?
Well, if/when he does, expect wingnuts to quickly repaint Sendak as a hateful old Jew who liked to draw naked little boys.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:09
Do not search for “tentacle” evar!
Damn, that was the first truly LOL moment of the day! Thanks OBS!
You know there are certain internet traditions of which I would like to remain ignorant. And I have an uncanny ability to seem to recognise the ones I want no part of.
Every time you masterbate, God kills a kitten” is right up my alley, in fact the first time I saw it I fell out of my chair laughing and had people from a feww offices down the way drop in to inquire what all the ruckus was about.
A cup involving a couple of girls, i had managed to avoid any cognition of that until someone here filled in the dots, though thankfully I shut the kevlar door that guards my longterm memory doiwn quickly enough that i have forgotten exactly what it was all about.
I guess the shorter would be: I know what I know, I know what I want to know and I seem to instictively know what I don’t want to know.
.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:10
They can get a twofer- Sendak was a faggy fag fag as well as a jewy Jew Jew.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:10
The Sex Pistols broke up at the start of 1978. The other three bands: lighting up America?
They OWNED the top 40 in 1979. Right next this:
“Do you like Pina Coladas?
Gettin’ caught in the rain…”
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:11
If you think that was shocking, you should see what Fred and Barney are up to.
Previous comment withstanding, and against my better judgement, I will hit the link.
.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:11
A cup involving a couple of girls, i had managed to avoid any cognition of that until someone here filled in the dots, though thankfully I shut the kevlar door that guards my longterm memory doiwn quickly enough that i have forgotten exactly what it was all about.
It was about two girls who could not afford cups of their own because of Obama’s socialist policies. And you think Republicans are waging a war on women?
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:12
Thanks, B^4, but I’m in rehab.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:13
Also;
“AWWWWWW FREAK OUT!”
Great stuff, mang.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:14
The Sex Pistols broke up at the start of 1978. The other three bands: lighting up America
Link embedded to reflect actual musical tastes in America.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:14
“[...]or the finer literary points of Sasha Grey.”
She IS trying to position herself as a smart one, I hear.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:14
That was awesome Bastard. I think I have found the YouTube hole I plan to crawl into today.
:)
.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:16
Funny, I do the same thing with cunt-ry music all the time. You should really chill the fuck out, son.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:17
That was awesome Bastard. I think I have found the YouTube hole I plan to crawl into today.
Debbie Boone or Fred & Barney?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:18
“Do you like Pina Coladas?
Gettin’ caught in the rain…”
While an hilarious and appropriate ending to you comment tsam, I just want to warn you that I want to kill you.
my homicidal grudges tend to be short lived and I fancy the cut of your jib, but that shit was beyond the pale. And since i have compounded the error by quoting it I want to kill myself as well.
I’ll be in the corner muttering invective and shaking my fist in tsam’s general direction.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:22
“Do you like Pina Coladas? / Gettin’ caught in the rain”
I like this line: “If you’re not into yoga / and you have half a brain”
Because it can be interpreted two ways. Re: brains, not yoga.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:23
What did I do?
OH, that shit is stuck up in your head, isn’t it?
LOL. If it’s any consolation, I looked at the Billboard 100 from 1979 and now have a rotation of about 5 of those goddamn abominations stuck in my thinkbox. I DON’T LIKE IT. But we all have our crosses to bear, no?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:24
They just disagree with the window dressing of legitimacy we call the ‘rule of law’.
I simply wanted to see it again. It is also one of the reason that I argue that wingnuts don’t want to return us to the nineteenth century, that era is way to progressive for them. Their target is the twelth century so they can be on time to drown the baby magna carta in its bathwater.
.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:25
Wasn’t there also one like
“I’m not much into tofu, or the taste of champagne”?
I have to hand it to the writer–that IS a catchy tune, even if it makes you want to gouge your own eyes out with an uncooked noodle or some such thing.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:28
The closest I ever got to seeing that video was watching a video of people’s reactions to seeing that video. Do. Not. Want.
I also thankfully never got caught out by a link to lemonparty.
Clicking on a goatse link long, long ago back in Internet pre-history mostly cured me from blindly clicking links. Mostly.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:29
Debbie Boone or Fred & Barney?
The latter thankyouverymuch.
OH, that shit is stuck up in your head, isn’t it?
You got it bub.
/shakes fist
It reminds me of bus rides during my freshman year of HS. If I lived four stops closer to school, or if the fucking bus driver had chosen to mix it up with the radio stations, we would not currently have a problem.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:30
It’s catchy. I find it odd that he depicted his narrator as looking for a smart woman. Even as a child I sensed that Pina Colada man would not really balk at a dumb chick.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:30
Oh fuck.
So I had this rather attractive female architect in my office this morning, getting information on how to set up and access control system.
I now realize that MY FUCKING ZIPPER HAS BEEN DOWN ALL DAY.
Geez I need a drink.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:32
And I don’t mean the zipper on my Members Only jacket.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:33
My favorite part of it is the whole premise: two bored/unsatisfied people in a relationship both posting/responding to personal ads. As if the protagonists, upon seeing the significant other at the bar wouldn’t react “aw fuck! I hope he/she didn’t see me!” and then running away.
Spearhafoc, who is not a spammer but would like to know if you'd be interested in these boner pills said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:35
Ladies, gentlemen and variations thereupon, I present to you THE Republican.
He blocked me so I can’t actually see what’s on his feed right now, but a few days ago, he made about 30 “Obama eats dogs” jokes in an hour, including the gem, “Good burger not dog like Obama ate”, which I’m sure means something.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:35
And just to get the full picture read my last sentence aloud with gritted teeth.
LOL. If it’s any consolation, I looked at the Billboard 100 from 1979 and now have a rotation of about 5 of those goddamn abominations stuck in my thinkbox. I DON’T LIKE IT.
Now that i have finished reading your response I feel much better. a few fred and barney vids should do the trick.
i am sorry for you that you decided to look up the chart toppers of ’79 and can only ask what you were thinking.
Granted there was a bunch of great music being made at the time, but none of it was making the top 100.
I do happen to be one of those types that feels really bad for the player that scores an own goal though, so i shall stop muttering and shaking my fist.
.
Spearhafoc, who is not a spammer but would like to know if you'd be interested in these boner pills said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:37
Did somebody say “busty redhead?”
Spearhafoc, who is not a spammer but would like to know if you'd be interested in these boner pills said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:37
Behold!
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:43
I now realize that MY FUCKING ZIPPER HAS BEEN DOWN ALL DAY.
On the plus side, she now knows how to access the control system.
Bitter Scribe said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:44
The Washington Times website has underneath its logo:
“The Official Newspaper of 2012″
Seriously. It says that.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:55
Clicking on a goatse link long, long ago back in Internet pre-history mostly cured me from blindly clicking links.
I got Goatse rolled back in the early days of Slashdot. That is an image burned permanently into my retina.
.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:56
On the plus side, she now knows how to access the control system.
+1
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:59
also too…somebody upthread mentioned fifty shades of grey…i’ve been hearing about this…what am i missing out on?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 20:59
Did somebody say “busty redhead?”
Spear, your nyminal window dressing is still cracking me the fuck up, as did your comment. While i tend to favor a higher brow form of humor shit like “Jeffraham has cats?” makes me feel like I swallowed a fistfull of goofballs.
.
Anonymous said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:01
On the plus side, she now knows how to access the control system.
HA! Guess so. Such a rookie move. I can’t help thinking that I was subconsciously aware the whole time and hoping the WAH pedal would fire up and I’d get hot office sex.
Spearhafoc, who is not a spammer but would like to know if you'd be interested in these boner pills said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:02
It’s literally a Twilight fanfic that was rewritten slightly so it could be released as an “original” novel.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:04
I now realize that MY FUCKING ZIPPER HAS BEEN DOWN ALL DAY.
You fuck with Karma she’ll fuck you right back. with a chainsaw if necessary. :)
And are we parsing the deep meaning of the lyrics to an earworm who if there was a good and just god in the universe would have its author shot? Really?
If so tsam is back on the temporary planning to kill list.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:07
And I don’t mean the zipper on my Members Only jacket.
The fact that I was born of a time and poor enough to envy and desire one of those jackets sincerely makes me want to weep for humanity.
Fortunately it was a short lived period and I discovered thrift stores and ’60′s vintage suits and ties.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:08
“As if the protagonists, upon seeing the significant other at the bar wouldn’t react ‘aw fuck! I hope he/she didn’t see me!’ and then running away.”
The plot is like an episode of Three’s Company or something. At least in the song it works out without alot of painful sitcom humor.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:08
It’s literally a Twilight fanfic that was rewritten slightly so it could be released as an “original” novel.
so in other words, i’m not missing out on a thing…
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:10
You fuck with Karma she’ll fuck you right back. with a chainsaw if necessary. :)
And are we parsing the deep meaning of the lyrics to an earworm who if there was a good and just god in the universe would have its author shot? Really?
If so tsam is back on the temporary planning to kill list.
you know what happens when this sort of talk is bandied about, don’t you?
“As if the protagonists, upon seeing the significant other at the bar wouldn’t react ‘aw fuck! I hope he/she didn’t see me!’ and then running away.”
this song has always made me incredibly angry…dippy lyrics aside, if i was the chick in this scenario, i would be ripping his balls off…AND I KNOW SHE PLACED AN AD, TOO!
wiley said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:12
If I’m not mistaken, a child can be darker than both biological parents. Besides, Michelle is darker or as dark as Trayvon Martin was, anyway. Perhaps he was thinking the white genes would be uber-dominant.
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:14
bbkf,
Afore you diss 50 Shades of Grey as a mere Twilight fan fic, it must be pointed out that all literary works must be taken on…their……own……ummm.
VAMPIRES DON’T FUCKING SPARKLE! THEY DON’T, GODDAMMIT! THEY ONLY SNEAK INTO YOUR ROOM AT NIGHT TO FEAST ON SWEET, SWEET, BLOOD! NO SPARKLES! AAAIIGHHH!
Imma sit quietly in the corner for a bit. I blame someone for something…
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:15
I made a really nice salad for lunch and forgot to bring the dressing. I haz a sad.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:16
@AriDavidUSA
I am a South Park conservative who works with special needs dolphins
Spear, listen. I really liked you and not just because we share a fondness for curvy Redheads, which we do, but now I feel betrayed because you just wingrolled me.
On the temporary needs to die list you will take a seat next to tsam. regardless how giggly your nymular appendage makes me.
I choose to get out of the boat and had trusted that if you drop a link right after mentioning your favorite quarry that I would be treated to an example of same and not some ugly sneering wingnut who is far to pleased with his “cleveness”
[last part said through clenched teeth]
.
Matt T. said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:18
Whenever Obama commented on Jay-Z or Kanye West, wasn’t it because some reporter asked the President what he thought about whatever it was said hip-hop superstars did that was worthy of note? I remember they asked him about Kanye’s now immortal “Imma let you finish” bit, but I can’t recall what it was that Jay-Z did that hacked off conservatives apart from being black.
So, in other words, anyone asked what Obama thought about MCA’s passing?
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:19
this song has always made me incredibly angry
Rupert Holmes, fashion consultant to teh stars and Santorum.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:22
1979 – Blondie
1978 – Ramones
~
Spearhafoc, who is working on an ongoing art project based around vampires from 19th and early 20th century fiction said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:22
There actually is some history to literary vampires giving off their own light (not including the many with glowing eyes).
Otto Goetzi (not a Goatse link, I swear), the vampire from Paul Féval’s La Ville-Vampire (1867), glowed green (among other weird things) when doing vampirey stuff.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:24
“So, in other words, anyone asked what Obama thought about MCA’s passing?”
They barely had a chance to do so before Joseph Curl published his article.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:26
you know what happens when this sort of talk is bandied about, don’t you?
Dennis shows up with an AHA! I knew you liberals were SO VIOLENT! He then posts a very fakity ass concern about shit like that or some such stuff. Acting like he all scared because I threatened to kill him. Puss.
Also, nothing.
Pupienus Maximus said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:26
POOP.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:27
The plot is like an episode of Three’s Company or something.
You know when you discover that you have managed to send something to the memory hole, managing to almost forget that it never existed and have to mourn the wasted hours of your life because your dad was a fan?
Yeah this is exactly one of those times.
you know what happens when this sort of talk is bandied about, don’t you?
I am much more likely to be a threat to myself than ever to you. Just so that we are clear, I am using hyperbole in service of what I thought was recieved as a gag.
Now for the life of me I am tryi…Mr Ropers place? Was that the threes a Company spinoff?
[having a mental image of the exact location of the uncooked pasta while working out exactly how much force would be required to get the business end of it into my brain].
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:29
“My Sharona” might have made that ’79 list. and also might serve as an exchange of earworm.
.
Spearhafoc, who is sorry for the wingroll said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:29
I’m actually not sure what Ari is up to right now. The dude blocked me after I spent a day trolling him. I just find the concept of him hilarious. He’s like a living parody of wingnuts. Seriously, he had about 30 “Obama eats dogs” jokes posted in the same hour, including “Good burger not dog like Obama ate” (which I’m sure makes sense to somebody).
This is a guy with just under 10,000 Twitter followers, people!
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:30
Their target is the twelth century so they can be on time to drown the baby magna carta in its bathwater. – Provider_UNE
I respectfully disagree. The wingnuts I bet love them some Magna Carta as it prevents the ebil central gummint from interfering with the rights of the local nobility to do whatever the hell they damned well please. The wingnuts are all about unlimited rights — for the gentry and nobility.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:31
Perhaps he was thinking the white genes would be uber-dominant.
Well they are aren’t they, because SUTW?!?!?!11
.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:33
BREAKING: Major crisis averted! I found some hot sauce. That and some salt and pepper have now made the salad delightfully zesty. Still wish I’d remembered the dressing.
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:36
If I’m not mistaken, a child can be darker than both biological parents. – wiley
Trying to go back to my undergrad/grad school bio days: generally genes for darker skin are dominant and for lighter skin are recessive. If only a single gene were responsible for skin color (and environment played no role and the alleles — let’s label them D and d — were fully penetrant, etc.), then a kid could be lighter than his/her parents but not darker: e.g. a Dd/Dd cross (between two dark people) could yield a light skinned dd but assuming full dominance, etc., Dd has the same dark phenotype as DD.
Now if you have more than one gene with multiple alleles, it would be more complicated. But, AFAIK, essentially a kid can be slightly darker than both parents (my brother, for example, is darker skinned than either of my parents) but not that much darker. OTOH, dark skinned parents can have an arbitrarily light skinned kid (although it is less and less likely to happen the greater the pigmentation difference is) — for example, there are cases where two blackety-black parents have a blond kid.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:37
…wasn’t it because some reporter asked the President what he thought about whatever it was said hip-hop superstars did that was worthy of note?
I always dig the fact that they always ask the black guy what he thinks about what some other random black dude did that offended someone.
I don’t seem to remember asking, say for instance New Gingrich, about why he thought the unibomber went off the rails, y’know, ’cause they are both white and such.
.
Gerald Fnord said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:39
tsam, PROVIDER_UNE_,others:
http://wmbr.mit.edu/cheese.html
I know of no place where a record of each year’s Cheese Patrol were archived…I strongly recommend listening to them on wmbr.org next New Year’s Eve/Day.
Speahafoc,…
‘Sparkly’ is different from glowing…decaying things shine feebly.
Note that (at least to Sookie Stackhouse, in the first book) vampires seem to have a very slight glow, and those books are fun and inadvertently hilarious and got turned into TV with breasts. Glowing is acceptable…unicorns sparkle.
You might like Kim Newman’s “Anno Dracula”.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:41
Still wish I’d remembered the dressing.
Thank god for the save. At least you will be able to use the dressing on another salad. The central drawers of most office desks are a likely place to mine for condiment packets at least in my experience especially if their are code monkeys around.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:42
Wingnuts love the Magma Carter on account of white people wrote it and it means whatever they say it means, like any other text.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:43
Well if you would just stop with your secret meetings and keep all us white folk in the loop on all these important things that your elected race representatives like this so-called “Kanye” person were saying. I mean geez, the nerve!
And yeah, if I’m a reporter and I get a probably-rare chance to ask the prez a question, it’s gonna be about some random thing some musician said. Wow, that must be a real career high point right there. Pulitzer material for sure.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:43
Well poop. I was all set to plunk down the cash for 50 Shades, when I learned it is Twilight fan fiction. Literally.
Spearhafoc, who is sorry for the wingroll said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:44
Yeah, Anno Dracula is something I plan on looking into. I tried finding it in a bookstore but they only had one of the sequels. I’ll probably order it from Amazon next time I have to get something from there.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:47
Dennis shows up with an AHA!
Of course, pardon my daftness.
I remember once upon a time or three having an intemperate but witty and incisive if ironic comments used as an example of liberal perfidy. One of them made the front page of Althouses sewer trap. Also Free Republic or some other fetid zone of iniquity. In other words places that tend to traffic in completely missing the point for partisan gain.
I tend to forget about that from time to time.
Thers wrote a post about it on his old metacomments blog.
.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:47
This is a guy with just under 10,000 Twitter followers, people!
And still my super-funny dick Cheney jokes go unnoticed. Hmmmmmmm. Maybe if I say something about dixk Cheney eating dogs…
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:48
“My Sharona” might have made that ’79 list. and also might serve as an exchange of earworm.
Doesn’t work anymore since I’ve played and sang that song around 100 times. ((shudder))
Ah well. I wasn’t USING that soul anyway.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:50
BREAKING: Major crisis averted! I found some hot sauce. That and some salt and pepper have now made the salad delightfully zesty. Still wish I’d remembered the dressing.
Oh that’s fucking NICE. I just got through the Tri Cities with dressing and now I have to turn back. Thanks. That a mil, bro.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:51
Maybe if I say something about dixk Cheney eating dogs…
Eatin dawgs and humpin’ hawgs. That’s the AMERCIAN WAY!
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:53
Damn!
You could still bring me the dressing, I’ll use it next time. By the time you get here it’ll be Beer:30…
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:54
I respectfully disagree. The wingnuts I bet love them some Magna Carta as it prevents the ebil central gummint from interfering with the rights of the local nobility to do whatever the hell they damned well please.
However, the Magna Carta also conferred some rights to the common man reagarding trials and rights of the accused, while serving as a template for the expansion of same and codifying the notion of rights in the first place, therefor I will stick with my thesis.
The wingnuts are all about unlimited rights — for the gentry and nobility.
On this point we are in perfect accord. We also must remember that wingers are not big on history, consent or context. I think that many of them would be happy if the constitution consisted soley of the second ammendment. The sad thing is that in their minds eye if we rolled shit back to the middle ages each one of them think that they will be lord of the Manor.
Silly silly wingnuts.
.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:58
I always dig the fact that they always ask the black guy what he thinks about what some other random black dude did that offended someone.
Sometimes they mine gold with that shit though. See: Tony Dungy RE: Terrill Owens and that ugly chick who everyone thinks is hot but really isn’t that was on Desperate Housewives as the evil one I think but weren’t they all evil?.
When I find the quote, I’ll post it.
Shorter: He was black and she was white and I’m offended because AIDS.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 8, 2012 at 21:59
I found this article very educational. Oh, not for much but I, for instance, did not know Adam Yauch also went by MCA.
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:02
POOP.
ahhhhhh, yes…who doesn’t like crap?!?! and yes, this is an actual ad that ran in the same local paper is posted about earlier today…it was this restaurant’s new year’s eve special…i’m guessing the wait staff had a long, long evening…
this is the same newspaper which also ran a headline featuring the ortonville swimming poop, had an article in which a young athlete made the winning shit in the final seconds of a game and also had a headline on the front page about our pubic library…
but this example still cracks my shit up…
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:08
I do not want poop steak.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:08
Well if you would just stop with your secret meetings and keep all us white folk in the loop on all these important things that your elected race representatives like this so-called “Kanye” person were saying. I mean geez, the nerve!
I’ve been pre-birthday gifted with lots of giggles today Thanks again OBS.
On a serious note it always gets me how us black folk are always somehow responsible for explaining the actions of completely unrelated individuals in a way that white folks aren’t. but I guess i more or less already made that point, so carry on.
Also too, I would love it if the next time that were to happen Obama or some other black person of note, would answer one of those queries with some variation of “what do you think about it?” Or conversely What the fuck does it matter what I think about something that Harry Belefonte said aside from the fact that it was most likely true or the result of being poked with a stick one too many times. What the fuck do you have to say about Limbaugh or ted Nugent, white guy, they are your people, reflect poorly on your race” (which is always the subtext of the original line of questioning in the first place).
I will put the latter response in the things I wish, but will never see file.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:09
Ah well. I wasn’t USING that soul anyway.Ah well. I wasn’t USING that soul anyway.
Coverband hell i presume?
.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:11
Did somebody say “eating dogs?”
Because that’s Jim Treacher’s call.
~
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:17
You could still bring me the dressing, I’ll use it next time. By the time you get here it’ll be Beer:30…
I have a feeling that if I was in riding distance to chez OBS, I would find myself conveniiently “in the neighborhood” quite frequently. before long I would be attempting to convince the proprietor that what he needs see, is a 5 barrel capacity mash tun, see, and a bright tank see, and some guerilla hop gardens [imagine the sound of a bottle opening] see, a commando raid of the nearest distillery or vinyard for a 265 liter barrel see…..I would probably attempt in the shamelessest way possible to drink him out of house and home. Now don’t get me wrong, i’d put some sweat equity into the effort at least offering to retrieve the beers from the fridge see.
;)
He is lucky I am at least 2000 miles away.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:20
I gotta wonder how many wingnuts would recognize someone riffing on that Joe Hill song.
Gerald Fnord said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:20
Ah well. _I_ wasn’t using that soul anyway.
Ah well. I WASN’T using that soul anyway.
Ah well. I wasn’t USING that soul anyway.
Ah well. I wasn’t using THAT soul anyway.
Ah well. I wasn’t using that SOUL anyway.
Ah well. I wasn’t using that soul ANYway.
Hmmm…not as fruitful as “I never saw a woman eat a banana like that,” which was generated spontaneously around a table at Farrell’s, probably in Rancho Cucamanga.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:21
…i’m guessing the wait staff had a long, long evening…
No shit, I feel bad for them right now. I do like the “hit the winning shit” bit. thats low end comedy gold.
.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:21
Coverband hell i presume?
**sigh**
Yes.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:23
I see you’ve met many of my friends Provider! Well, minus the “sweat equity” part, buncha lazy pikers. They mostly just tell me how great my beer is, ask for more, then wonder why I don’t do it professionally. Duh, because then it wouldn’t be fun anymore. Well, that and the lawyers. And “business people” and such as.
I would almost consider starting a brewery if I could brew limited release stuff in small batches and just basically have one rotating tap at one dedicated pub. One of the biggest things that would annoy me about running a real brewery is making endless batches of IPA over, and over, and over, and over. And over also too.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:23
Heh. Staff. Long, long. Heh.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:27
Uck. Me no like IPA. I do want to try your beer, OBS. I MIGHT end up going through Portland (to Eugene) in late summer. My favs are wheat type things like Heffewinehinsens
bbkf said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:32
Heffewinehinsens
ach! mine are acting up, too…
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:33
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:34
Lucky for me, I have a daughter going to college this fall.
Thanks Repigs. Thanks a fucking lot. Please kill yourself.
Helmut Monotreme said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:36
In the book ‘The Drawing of the Dark’ by Tim Powers, a central plot element is a monastery that has been brewing beer for centuries in a single huge cask set on a dirt floor over the grave of an ancient hero. By drinking the dark beer drawn from the lowest point in the cask, a person could gain magical power including the power to extend ones life for decades or in one case, centuries. I think that’s the sort of brew of brew pub you should open. The locating of an ancient hero’s grave is left as an exercise for the reader.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:36
They can’t stop being horrible for even one second.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:40
But it is sexy?
Comrade Rutherford said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:42
“chug a bottle of tequila, snort about a pound of crushed Oxycontin”
Isn’t that what ‘conservative writers’ do to get in the mood to write their blog posts?
Gerald Fnord said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:43
> The locating of an ancient hero’s grave is left as an exercise for the reader.
Well, The Legendary Billy isn’t dead, but he’s moving kind of slow and seems pretty stupid (or maybe just depressed), so I think his cave would do.
The beer would go great with chips from Marceline’s House of Fries.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:51
I thought it’s what they did to get in the mood to have sex with their perpetually-surprised-looking Stepford wives.
Smut Clyde said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:51
If I ever meet this guy, I’m going to break all 12 of his fucking fat fucking webbed fingers.
You know where to find him. Starts with “Inn”, ends with “mouth”.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:53
Oh, you won’t like my beer then, I’m not a big wheat person myself (although I made a good Belgian Wit once). I actually love IPAs, I just wouldn’t like to make the same beer (IPA, wheat, wevs) over and over and over like a commercial operation has to do.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:54
“GOP senators want a vote on their own version heading off the interest rate increases and paid for by eliminating a preventive health fund created by President Barack Obama’s 2010 health care overhaul.”
Brilliant. Preventive health care saves us money. So the republican plan to offset lost revenue associated with student loan interest rates is: spend more money on health care down the road. If anyone asks how that works better, they’ll brandish a shrunken head and babble about Obamacare.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:55
There can be only one Ray Bolger.
A shepherd said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:57
holding a shepherd’s crutch and reciting Portnoy’s Complaint on top of a table in a Nepalese barbeque.
Remember paleotectonics, we agreed on a 50/50 split of the door.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:58
I like this idea. I imagine I can just go grab a discount “Ancient Hero Grave™*” (now with more HFCS!) out of the discount bin at Wal Mart.
*Made in China. Note, may not contain actual hero, be ancient, or be a grave.
Gerald Fnord said,
May 8, 2012 at 22:59
>So the republican plan to offset lost revenue associated with student loan interest rates is: spend more money on health care down the road.
Far from an original observation, but:
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:01
I bet a wheat beer made from that scarecrow (Ray Bolger) would have magic powers. Or at least be eerie to drink.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:04
But it is sexy?
I’ll tell you what’s sexy.
The weather here today is about 74° and sunny, with just a slight, pleasant breeze. There is no haze or dust in the air, and the trees have almost regained their summer plummage.
I was driving home for lunch, the perfect song was on my iPhone (Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds), the sunroof open. I stopped at a 4 way stop, under a massive cherry blossom tree. The whole area appeared to be snowing cherry blossoms. One fell through the sunroof and landed on my thigh just as the last refrain was being kicked in by that masterpiece of a drum fill. All was right with the world for that brief moment.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:06
I bet a wheat beer made from that scarecrow (Ray Bolger) would have magic powers. Or at least be eerie to drink.
Drink this. It is my body and blood.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:08
“All was right with the world for that brief moment.”
So your junk was no longer hanging out?
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:09
Omg, I love cherry blossoms.
Pupienus said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:10
Widmer makes a good Weissebier, so I hear. Don’t care for them much myself but everyone I know who does says Widmer’s is very good.
I like IPAs. I am fond of hops. But this PNW obsession with hops has gotten out of hand. More is not always better. I see it the same way I view the bacon fetishists. Adding bacon doesn’t necessarily make anything better nor even good.
It would be interesting and perhaps fun to create dishes around different beers. A weekly changing menu of both food and beer actually sounds like fun.
Smut Clyde said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:11
whatever dialect of German (Danau Schwaben) he spoke
Swabian is not a dialect. It is a throat disease.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:12
My fav Joe Hill youtuber.
~
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:13
However, the Magna Carta also conferred some rights to the common man reagarding trials and rights of the accused, while serving as a template for the expansion of same and codifying the notion of rights in the first place, therefor I will stick with my thesis. – Provider_UNE
AFAIK, these rights did not apply to serfs or Jews (of course, wingnuts are temporarily down with us Jews, so substitute Muslims here), for example. I am sure your average wingnut rather likes his right to a trial, etc. He just doesn’t want the riff-raff to have those rights.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:13
So your junk was no longer hanging out?
I said all was right with the world. Ergo and such as, it WAS out and proud.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:15
Widmer makes a good Weissebier, so I hear. Don’t care for them much myself but everyone I know who does says Widmer’s is very good.
Widmer and Pyramid both make an excellent Heff. Henry Weinhard’s is also a pretty damn good Heff, honestly.
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:16
Swabian is not a dialect. It is a throat disease. – Smut Clyde
Donau Swaben and the kind of Yiddish they used to speak in Rivne are not the same as Swabian. Hence they are not throat diseases. More like a complete seizure of the entire vocal apparatus.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:16
Omg, I love cherry blossoms.
Me too. I want one in my apartment, but I’m not sure they can handle all the manfunk.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:17
More like a complete seizure of the entire vocal apparatus.
Then this is the word that describes my singing.
Golem Heart said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:21
I said all was right with the world. Ergo and such as, it WAS out and proud.
[Accent of your choice:] “But officer, you must admit it looks glorious in the dappled sunlight, garlanded with cherry blossoms?”
DAS said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:25
Of course, if you want a real seizure of the vocal apparatus, you have to go with the sort of accent they had in Zolochiv (think Dr. Strangelove).
Bitter Scribe said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:27
Brilliant. Preventive health care saves us money. So the republican plan to offset lost revenue associated with student loan interest rates is: spend more money on health care down the road. If anyone asks how that works better, they’ll brandish a shrunken head and babble about Obamacare.
Opposing Obama in any and every way is ipso facto the best thing for the Republic and its citizens. Remember, when these guys were sworn in, they took an oath to preserve, protect and defend every way possible to stick it to Barack Obama.
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:32
Me too. I want one in my apartment, but I’m not sure they can handle all the manfunk.
Why? Is George Clinton hiding in your closet?
rodert rudis said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:33
Zippers. My that’s a funny story. It’s been a problem for me more times than I care to say. Once, maybe when I was eighteen or so (and very sensitive about my appearance), I was stopped on the sidewalk by a sweet looking old lady. She said, “Young man, your fly is down.” Then she nodded her head towards my shoes.Hah. I had no idea what she meant. So I said, “Peace”, since it was like 1970 and still cool to say. I continued on my way. Less than a block away, two little boys sprang off the bench where they sitting with their mamas, ran straight up to me and practically yelled, “Hey mister, your fly is down!” Well shit I thought, still not getting it, and threw them the peace sign. They ran back to the bench laughing, their mamas kind of staring angry at me.
I finally got to where I was going, the old S&S cafeteria, and strolled in, oblivious. While I’m standing in line, my chemistry teacher from highschool, Mr Turner, walked over to me and said, “Robert, you need to go to the men’s room.” Well, damn, I thought, how’d he know that? Yeah, I needed to pee, but I thought I could wait until after lunch at least. So I said, “I’ll go after lunch.” Mr Turner stared into my eyes for a second and hissed, “You were always a smart ass, Robert. Do you really want to walk through the dining room with your pecker hanging out?” Holy shit. All of a sudden it hit me. I glanced down, afraid of what I would see, and there it was, about eight inches of my shirt tail sticking straight out of my un-zipped pants, just like a pecker. Always a problem.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:36
Why? Is George Clinton hiding in your closet?
FUCK I WISH! Can you imagine jamming with the almighty? Whew….vapors!
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:39
[Accent of your choice:]
Pepe Le Peu, of course.
Which reminds me: Jon Stewart had questions for France last night. Among them:
Why are your skunks so date-rapey?
When you buy baguette, why do you only get a half a bag with your baguette?
FUNNY shit.
Another Kiwi said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:41
Sigh! Remember the shenanigans when blackity black black rapper Common was asked to the Half-white house? Imagine the tsunami of bed wetting if Obama had mentioned Yauch?
gocart mozart said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:44
The plot thickens!
http://www.wnd.com/2012/05/now-a-witness-to-breitbarts-death-disappears/?cat_orig=politics
vacuumslayer said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:47
FUCK I WISH! Can you imagine jamming with the almighty? Whew….vapors!
Not to mention how having some nice mellow funk playing might impress the ladeez.
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:53
Not to mention how having some nice mellow funk playing might impress the ladeez.
Funny you should mention that, because ALL of my soloing is pretty much based on that stuff.
gocart mozart said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:53
“On Feb. 5, Breitbart had dinner cooked by Ayers at the home of Ayers and Dohrn after Daily Caller publisher Tucker Carlson won a “Super Bowl Dinner” auctioned off by Ayers for $2,500.”
I think Jim Treacher did it. He was always jealous of Andy.
tigris said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:53
“He died of natural causes,” Bannon said. “The family wants the matter put to rest, and WND is beginning to irritate me suspecting foul play.”
After recruiting the assistance of private investigators, WND found that Lasseter, the 26-year-old witness who saw Breitbart drop dead, is no longer residing at his last known address in California.
At the request of WND, Ohio-based private investigator Susan Daniels recruited a California-based private investigator to find Lasseter. The local investigator tried without success to find a cell phone or landline phone number for Lasseter.
…stalk stalk stalk…
The investigator concluded Christopher Lasseter had “hunkered down” in what seemed to be an attempt to avoid further questioning.
Ah hahahaha!
rodert rudis said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:54
tsam said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:04
“All was right with the world for that brief moment.”
That’s beautiful tsam. Where are you to have cherry trees blooming now?
paleotectonics said,
May 8, 2012 at 23:58
Also, on the Wingnut Drooly site, “Is Teh Devil Real Or Some Such”, in which you hear, unbelievably, truth!
Also, did the multiple investigators determine whether or not Christopher Lasseter had granite countertops?
tigris said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:02
Not only has he worked in the area of demonization for the last 25 years
Hey, are they hiring?
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:02
That’s beautiful tsam. Where are you to have cherry trees blooming now?
Thanks!! Spokane, Washington. (Or Eastern Idaho as we lovingly call it here)
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:02
Wait–WESTERN Idaho. See what I mean?
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:04
Agreed entirely. I think folks are finally getting the clue though, as I see fewer new ridiculously over hopped beers coming out. I’m also hopeful that the nascent “hop terroir” movement can get off the ground and we’ll get some really neat local hop varieties with all sorts of cool new flavor and aroma complexities, instead of just “more bitter” and “yet more citrus and/or marijuana aroma” we have now.
It’s kind of cool that Budweiser being bought by foreigners, who then moved to developing their own ultra-high-alpha hops in Europe instead of the PNW may finally bring about the day where the seemingly-neverending quest for higher alpha acid hops is finally over.
Yes, please!
BTW, did you ever do that something or other you were going to cook somehow or another using Old Rasputin stout?
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:10
I’m not much of a beer-knower guy, and I’m sort of over the whole “here, try this, man” and fighting to contain the gag reflex when I’m handed something that smells like bathroom scent spray and tastes like flat, stale urine. I found a few beers I like and pretty much stick with those.
I once thought that a cool tap handle meant you were probably getting a decent beer. WRONG.
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:10
Not yet. Patience my little paduwan.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:18
What!?! Next you’ll try to tell me that a pretty label on a wine bottle doesn’t automatically mean the wine is good!
J Neo Marvin said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:27
Lighting up America.
jim said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:40
Whoa whoa whoa WHOA NOW.
Breitbart had dinner with Ayers & Dohrn?!?
We’re through the rabbit-glass & down the looking hole.
ZOMG BREITBART WAS A FUCKING FALSE-FLAG WINGNUT SHEEPLE!!!!!
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:47
What!?! Next you’ll try to tell me that a pretty label on a wine bottle doesn’t automatically mean the wine is good!
I was young and naive!
Smut Clyde said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:50
I like IPAs. I am fond of hops. But this PNW obsession with hops has gotten out of hand. More is not always better.
I had some of this the other week at the Extreme Beer festival.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:53
ahhhhhh, yes…who doesn’t like crap?!?!
Surf and Turd?
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:55
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:56
I don’t believe it! I won’t!
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:00
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Come over and I’ll show you the difference between soloing and noodling.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:03
Just as long as there’s no Hillbilly Hand-Fistin’
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:09
I just realized that the timestamp indicates that it is now officially my birthday, In France, that is.
Cool, I just found a new game to play next year. I’ll start recognising the fact when it turns midnight in Tokyo or Sydney, whichever is closer to the international date line. That should give me almost 2 days worth of birthday and the attendant embarrasment of riches.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:12
Just as long as there’s no Hillbilly Hand-Fistin’
My Spidy senses are telling me that I don’t want to touch that site with Cheney’s dick stapled to a ten foot pole.
.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:12
J Neo Marvin said,
May 9, 2012 at 0:27
Lighting up America.
I rate for Patti Smith.
~
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:14
It’s just a big ol’ catfish, UNE.
~
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:18
It’s just a big ol’ catfish, UNE.
Thanks thunder, wasn’t someone recently waxing poetically about how manly man and granny staring Ryan uses that tecnique?
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:21
And a fucking TV show. I wonder if there is anything esoteric that I do on a regularly that could form the basis for a reality show wherein i can become a nominal star and getz the monies which reminds me of Fat Tony from the Simpsons going on about the “pretzel monies” Never fails to crack me up.
Imma gonna see if the utube has a gift for me.
.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:23
Marry someone supremely tacky. You can get on one of those “Housewives of” shows.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:24
Bagging the catfish.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:25
“You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the pretzel monies. “Where’s the money?” “When are you going to get the money?”
Man that shit cracks me right the fuck up.
.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:27
It’s bad form to stare at anybody, ‘specially grannies. Bad Ryan, bad!
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:28
No luck on the utube search. I’ll have to try harder some other time. If I had to choose only ten clips from the entire show that would be one of them. Another would be Bill gates informing Homer that he did not get rich by writing checks while his goons take apart Homer Hypercompuglobalmeganet infrastructure to pieces.
.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:29
It’s bad form to stare at anybody, ‘specially grannies. Bad Ryan, bad!
I really should bolt spellcheck to this firefox. I usta have one but now it seems awol.
.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:29
David Brooks just bought a $4,000,000 house. Where’s my goddamned pitchfork?
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:37
David Brooks just bought a $4,000,000 house.
David is just plain folk, salt o’ the earth, who earned through blood sweat and tears every penny he’s made. [I almost want to see how long I can keep this up] He has been rewarded for a brilliance rarely seen…oh fuck it.
Where’s my goddamned pitchfork?
I have a gassed up chainsaw with a freshly oiled chain you could borrow. I presume that you are familier with Dexter the TV show?
.
tigris said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:40
David Brooks just bought a $4,000,000 house.
As if we needed more proof we don’t live in anything close to a meritocracy.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:40
Nah, nothing was misspelled. I thought it was funny because I imagined Paul Ryan leering hungrily at some ancient woman with a walker thinking “My nemesis! I’ll have your Medicare yet, you just wait! Bwahhahaha!” or something equally evil.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:41
Watch what the do to lure the catfish to bite
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:42
I’m tired of waiting for tsam and that damn bottle of dressing to show up, so I’m outta here to head to a big fancy beer tasting. I hope the beer is yummy and that the bicycle ride home afterward is uneventful…
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 1:56
Whoever it was upthread who brought up the goddamned Pina Colada Song, you can just go straight to hell.
That song sucks the chrome off a trailer hitch. It is NOT catchy; it is both trite and disgusting at the same time. Let’s break it down:
This douche places a personal ad, talking about how he likes fucking PINA COLADAS. That’s got “Axe Personal Body Spray” written ALL THE FUCK OVER IT, number one; number two, the rest of the ad reads like it was written by one of those “patterning” creeps who go to the seminars to learn how to bamboozle teh ladeez into dropping their undies…ladeez in whom they have NO INTEREST other than a quick (and for the ladies I’m sure unsatisfying) roll in the hay. Who the fuck LIKES pina coladas? Has a heterosexual male EVER ordered a fucking pina colada? I have my doubts.
But then it gets worse…first off, he’s placed this ad behind his girlfriend’s back. He says he’s bored with her, but instead of breaking up and moving on, it’s “well, I think I’ll fuck around on her instead.” Then when he shows up to meet the woman who was fucking stupid enough to want to hook up with a guy who’s admitted, IN PRINT, to drinking pina coladas, it turns out it’s his own girlfriend! So she’s just as skanky as he is. And instead of this leading to a discussion about how it’s time to go separate ways, both of them are immediately ok with the fact that the other was planning on fucking a complete stranger that night. Hey, no big deal, amirite?
Then the very worst bit…the final part of the song…these two skank losers have invested so much in their relationship that they obviously do not know the first fucking thing about one another. “Oh, really? I never knew that you like fucking on the beach.” WTF? Why, other than like attracting like, were these two skanks ever together in the first place, since it’s obvious that neither of them gives a shit about the other?
/end rant/
Smut Clyde said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:07
The men who stare at grannies.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:07
So she’s just as skanky as he is.
Why do you h8 Love, American Style, Jennifer?
`
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:09
Why do you h8 Love, American Style, Jennifer?
Don’t even get me started on John Davidson, Jr.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:14
Don’t even get me started on John Davidson, Jr.
Thanks to a truly bizarre episode of The Streets of San Francisco, I will always think of him as Carol Channing, Jr.
Smut Clyde said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:15
Zippers. My that’s a funny story.
Anyone begins an anecdote like that, you know it’s time to walk don’t run to the nearest exit.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:26
But what about getting caught in the rain, Jennifer?
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:28
Not to change the subject, but…let me change the subject.
We were recounting money woes yesterday or the day before on the last thread. I have for the past couple of months been trying to weigh whether or not to close my business and just go get a full time job. The last year and a half has been really tough; first I went through all that shit with that cunt of a business partner. I finally got rid of her and I’m ready to turn things around and – BLAMMO! – I get mono. So I lost pretty much my entire sales season last spring, and of course that translated into less sales this past fall and this spring. I’ve literally been hanging by a thread, and had made the decision that if I didn’t end the school year with a lot of contracts in hand for the fall, I was going to shut it down. And up until about 2 weeks ago, it looked as if that’s what was going to happen – I had only a couple of sales lined up. Then, in the past 2 weeks, I’ve landed another dozen. This is great news, as it means the business will make enough to actually pay me a salary again starting this fall. The only problem is all the debt I’ve got in the form of my original business loan & what got racked up last year when I was sick.
So, I’ve been thinking along the lines of making something to sell, and want to bounce it off you good folks. I’m thinking of putting together a “comments out of context” page-a-day calendar and selling those, hopefully to some of you good people and others like you. The kinks to iron out: 1) would anyone buy the damn thing? I’m thinking of a price between $10 & $15; if I could unload a few thousand of them it would make a big dent in my debt. 2) if you’ve ever seen one of my comments out of context posts, you know that the comments are written by you brilliant people and others like you here on the internets. It’s not my work & while it’s not copyrighted and people have pretty much put it out there for free, I wouldn’t want to be a dick about it and use something only to have the author get upset about it. So there’s the issue of permissions, which legally aren’t required but again, I wouldn’t want to be a dick about it to anyone and if they didn’t want their stuff published (by me) then I would leave it out.
So, feedbacks, please.
rodert rudis said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:28
“Just as long as there’s no Hillbilly Hand-Fistin’”
I don’t want to make too big a deal out of this, but County, Half, and I learned this particular fishing technique from Big Walter, when were ten or so years old, at night.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:29
I’m on my way to hell.
Shitty song trolling mission: ACCOMPLISHED
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:32
I’ll buy one! But you have to put a video on YouTube of you signing the piña colada song, front to back, in a mullet wig. That would be cool.
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:35
tsam – well then, I guess you WON’T BE BUYING ONE.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:36
Well, I’d buy one, Jennifer.
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:36
And who says I would need a wig?
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:40
Thanks, vs. Now, I just need 1,999 more suckers!
What do you think about the issue of permissions, though? I would use the same format I’ve used in my posts – crediting the person’s nym and the place, date & time posted.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:41
Jennifer –
Ask the commenters for permission. Most of them are people you know from sites like S,N! and would be okay with it. I know you used one of mine once and I’d be glad to let you have that and all the thousands of other pearls that drop from my keyboard.
Smut Clyde said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:41
But you have to put a video on YouTube of you signing the piña colada song
Even better, she could sing it!
Bitter Scribe said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:41
The investigator concluded Christopher Lasseter had “hunkered down” in what seemed to be an attempt to avoid further questioning.
That’s a great one! I’ll have to try that out on my boss next time I let a mistake into my magazine.
“I really wanted to verify that with the Specialty Coffee Association guy, but he hunkered down in what seemed to be an attempt to avoid further questioning.”
Substance McGravitas said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:42
I waive all rights to anything I’ve said/made, et cetera. In fact it’d help if you said they were by someone else.
Smut Clyde said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:43
the thousands of other pearls that
dropdrip from my keyboard.FTFY.
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:43
N_B – yeah, and probably most if not all of the proprietors of my usual haunts would be willing to put up an alert post to let folks who comment there that I’ve culled one of their pearls. So that might be a good way to get in touch with anyone whose comments I’m planning to use.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:45
FTFY.
That’s a funny way to abbreviate “I’ll be in my bunk.”
Bitter Scribe said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:46
Jennifer:
1) Hell yes, I’d buy one.
2) Feel free to use any ramblings of mine you may care to.
But I’m curious about something…If you have contracts lined up, can’t you take out a loan? Businesses borrow against future collectibles all the time. Is the problem that you’re not well established, or that bankers got so burned playing with shit like CDOs that they’re now too scared and fucked up to lend money to legit businesses?
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:47
Small biz loans are still v try hard to get. My established (20 years this July) firm can’t get a line of credit.
Motherfucking banksters.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:48
arglebargled “very”
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:53
Bitter Scribe – I already have a loan, actually a credit line, with a balance that has dropped only a few percent since I took it out in Jan. 2010. I was really lucky to have been able to secure that in the first place, considering how tight credit was at the time. I haven’t missed any payments but there was quite a while where they were interest-only payments. Bottom line: I can expect to clear enough in the fall to cover operations and pay myself and my part-time bookkeeper…or pay the credit line down by 1/4 to 1/3. Not both. And the credit line really needs paying down; my mother co-signed for it and I need to get it paid off ASAP. 2-1/2 years in and 97% of it is still sitting there. The bank extended it for a year last September, and I don’t know if they’ll extend it again or not; if not, we should be able to get them to roll it over into a longer-term business loan.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:56
“pearls that drop from my keyboard” sounds very much like an overshare to me.
address my envelope, lips! said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:56
Well, in the world of karmic retribution, the “Pina Colada” guy has had to drink like 70 gazillion pina coladas for the rest of his life, because it’s all anyone will serve him.
At this time, I don’t recall whether VH1′s “where are they now?”-type reporting mentioned whether he was diabetic yet or not.
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:58
In NC the amendment is completely necessary from any legal standpoint. They’re doing it solely to be mean. That’s it, the only purpose of their amendment is to say fuck you you disgusting subhumans.
I can’t stand it anymore. Then you get this kind of shit happening. http://www.salon.com/2012/05/08/a_catholic_schools_anti_gay_snub/ Did you see the one where the successful alum was disinvited from speaking at his little brother’s graduation (as (valedictorian?) when they found out the older brother is a fag.
The Republicans insist on paying for student loan funding by taking away preventive health care instead of closing fucking tax LOOPHOLES.
I didn’t think I could be more disgusted by our culture. Then i watched this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM
WARNING: will cause tears and possibly fits of rage.
There’s not enough gin in the world to help me right now.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:59
“pearls that drop from my keyboard” sounds very much like an overshare to me.
Be happy I avoided the Pez-dispenser metaphor.
rodert rudis said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:00
I would love to have one of your calendars Jennifer.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:01
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 2:47
Small biz loans are still v try hard to get. My established (20 years this July) firm can’t get a line of credit.
Motherfucking banksters.
Bank of America, ppls!
Hope and Change, bottle and cans. Just clap your hands.
~
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:06
If I have made any comment worthy of inclusion I hereby release all claim to it. I’m equally prepared to deny that I ever said it in the first case, if necessary.
There was a fellow at the dog park some while back asking to take a picture of Bagoas’ POOP. He puts out a calendar of dog poop pics every year. He bought a very pricey big house on the river with the proceeds. Drives a Porsche, thanks to the calendar. If you find this information useful it will make me happy.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:11
All my comments posted here are public domain, Jennifer. I would like to see my name on them though, as well as everyone else’s. It adds crucial contextual element that lubes up the funny prior to insertion.
bbkf said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:13
tsam – well then, I guess you WON’T BE BUYING ONE.
ummmm, yeah…tsam said you had to SIGN the pina colada song, which actually would just be you standing there with your middle fingers raised…i know you can do it…
also, too…i would totes buy a calendar or three…
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:15
Nice how rights and equality are subject to public referendum. IWW should use the Constitution for toilet paper since we’re not using it anyway.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:16
“Whoever it was upthread who brought up the goddamned Pina Colada Song, you can just go straight to hell.”
Wasn’t me — I just fed some big logs into that fire. And I acknowledge that you changed the subject.
I knew nobody would wanna discuss the fine lyrics of Don Van Vliet (AKA Captain Beefheart) so I didn’t even try. Didn’t quote a line of ‘em, even though he died in 2010 and Obama said nothing, the dirty old bastard. Like a beaten dog I went all Pina Colada.
All the Trout Mask Replica lyrics (and others) are here, more or less accurately:
http://www.freewebs.com/teejo/lyrics/trout1.html
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:17
Shit, if I netted more than enough to pay off my debt, I’d start mailing out checks to all the good folks who let me use their words. I like the house I have and if I get all this shit paid off, it won’t be a problem when my 14-year old Mustang with 175,000 miles craps out. It’s showing no signs of doing so any time soon. I can tell you this – when I do have to buy another car, it’s going to be some dorky Ford model. They make good cars and as an old fart, I don’t really care about flashy or pretty so much anymore.
bbkf said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:22
There was a fellow at the dog park some while back asking to take a picture of Bagoas’ POOP. He puts out a calendar of dog poop pics every year. He bought a very pricey big house on the river with the proceeds. Drives a Porsche, thanks to the calendar. If you find this information useful it will make me happy.
okay, i thought my brother was the only weirdo like this…except he wants to use human poops in toilets…like one with confetti and noisemakers for new years…and other ones with various foods that might have been ingested at celebrations and what have you…
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:29
Thanks, vs. Now, I just need 1,999 more suckers!
I’d buy one, and you may use whatever you’d like from my voluminous contributions here and at Eschaton. As if! :) Seriously, no charge.
And send me the address of your nearest convenient Walgreens, and I will send you a cat photo for pickup within the hour.
.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:37
Jennifer: I like the calendar idea a great deal, and might buy one.
What worries me is that there are many, many things in this price range that I want to acquire, including things much more desired than your product probably could be. I think you’ll understand I mean no offense.
You’d have an effective demand problem. Folks who’d want the calendar can’t or should not buy it. I am about $140,000 in debt (not counting my wife’s) and will make about $38,000 next year.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:38
I mean to say that our economy needs demand, not tax cuts. I don’t wanna talk about my budget, nohow.
Nym said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:41
Whoever it was upthread who brought up the goddamned Pina Colada Song, you can just go straight to hell.
Hey, it’s written by a guy who wrote a song about cannibalism among miners trapped in a cave-in, what did you expect?
(I bet you think I’m kidding.)
Chris said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:44
Jennifer: I’d buy one. And on the off chance that you find any of my shit quotable, it’s yours.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:46
I don’t know why some of us don’t start a DKos type blog with multiple contributors and sell advertising. We could put lots of posts in there and be funny
Spearhafoc, who only heard of the Beastie Boys because they appeared on Futurama once said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:47
I’m not into Yoga. Rush Limbaugh is also not into Yoga. That’s a pretty wide spectrum of people you got there, Pina Colada Guy.
Although I’m pretty sure I have at least half a brain, which I couldn’t say for Rushbo.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:50
As I suggested earlier, Pina Colada guy may be prepared to reject woman with MORE than half a brain.
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:52
If I get that damn Pina Colada song stuck in my head there’s going to be bloodlusty vengeance.
You have been warned.
bbkf said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:55
it’s too late for me…i am on round two of it THANK YOU TSAM!!!
also, what really, really bugs me about that song besides aforementioned dippy lyrics and idiotic plot…it’s the use of the term ‘my old lady’…that in itself is junkpunch worthy…
Gary Ruppert said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:57
The fact is, you liberals who dismiss the Tea Party do so at your paril. Note that RINO Lugar has been sent packing and gays are against the consitution, so take that courts of bias. America is taking our country back.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:58
If you like bloodlust vengeance
And getting stabbed in the rain
If you’re not into wingnuts
And you have half a brain
If you like making fun of conservatives’ writings at length
The this is the blog you’re looking for, write a comment nonsense
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 3:58
Yep, things are never so bad that the Tea Party can’t fuck them up worse than they already are.
Spearhafoc, who only heard of the Beastie Boys because they appeared on Futurama once said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:02
You leave my paril out of this!
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:02
“If I get that damn Pina Colada song stuck in my head there’s going to be bloodlusty vengeance.”
I can’t guarantee it’ll clear the earworm, but just watch the Magic Band playing “Electricity” a few times. There’s nothing like it!*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2Hd4CkzUTtg
* “Another sandwich!” said the King.
“There’s nothing but hay left now,” the Messenger said, peeping into the bag.
“Hay, then,” the King murmured in a faint whisper.
Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. “There’s nothing like eating hay when you’re faint,” he remarked to her, as he munched away.
“I should think throwing cold water over you would be better,” Alice suggested: “— or some sal-volatile.”
“I didn’t say there was nothing better,” the King replied. “I said there was nothing like it.” Which Alice did not venture to deny.
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:02
That’s fine Rary Guppert, the part of the country you’re “taking back” we don’t want in the first place. Please “take it back” and then stay the fuck there.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:04
I’ve been humming In The Court Of The Crimson King all day, if anyone wants a different type of ear worm.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:07
Oh, N_B, that album makes up for a ton of bad prog-rock. If it and the phonographs weren’t downstairs you’d have got me to put it on.
bbkf said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:12
damn, you crack me up…well, i’m getting out of the hottub and joining hubbkf downtown for a beer or two…
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:15
I’ve been humming In The Court Of The Crimson King all day, if anyone wants a different type of ear worm.
No thanks.
sparks said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:25
Who the fuck LIKES pina coladas? Has a heterosexual male EVER ordered a fucking pina colada? I have my doubts.
Ooh! Ooh! I knew someone, must’ve been 1981. When our work crew went to a bar, a guy from our crew had one, he even had it virgin. I kept wondering if he was a Mormon or some other abstentious religion. He let me have a taste of it. A damn coconut frappe. I didn’t see how alcohol could improve that and gladly went back to my bourbon.
Substance McGravitas said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:33
I love all sissy drinks. A big BOO HOO when the Vancouver Trader Vic’s closed down.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:42
“a guy from our crew had [a pina colada], he even had it virgin”
I think when the server asked him what he wanted, he blurted out the name of a drink, a name he knew. It was a Brick Tamland moment:
http://vimeo.com/679240
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:45
Is there such a thing as a non-virgin Shirley Temple? The drink, I mean, since after she married Mr. Black, the real virginity boat had probably sailed.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:56
I would share my giant block of cheese with you, if I had one.
But get this: I get $0.32/mile to ride from home to the training site and back, again, the next three days. That’ll total up to ~$75.00. My fuel cost will be about $11. w00t!
.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 5:53
You all know I will forever be scouring the Internet for the most annoying songs on the planet to torture you with, right?
Up next: Macarena baby!
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 6:02
Jennifer, I tend to be an out of context comment generator as my primary means of humor involve tangent and hyperbole.
While I might not be as funny, interesting or erudite as I like to think I am, you are free to steal anything I have ever written, that you might think worthy. And while I am in no shape to offer anything related to direct financial assistance, I might have some skills that might be of use from a production of the final product perspective that could be made to be available to assist with any of the heavy lifting as far as sifting, editing, etc.
And by steal, I mean that I cede the rights to my entire body of work on the intertrons to your disposal. If you need a shiftless and lazy collaborator on this venture, you have got your man.
.
paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 6:09
Up next: Macarena baby!
I haz a nomnomnomination for Ooga-Chaka I Can’t Stop Tihs Feeling…
paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 6:10
Oh, and Jennifer, I’m an easy sell, as well!
Lexicon Devil said,
May 9, 2012 at 6:13
@ Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 4:02
Thanks for the Beefheart. Man was a god. I dig Trout Mask Replica, but for pure listening pleasure, I gotta go for Bat Chain Puller every time. But that’s just me. Follow that up with Howlin’ Wolf’s Chess Masters double vinyl and that’s heaven on a stick right there.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 6:24
Bat Chain Puller is a fine album, L.D. Have a good night!
Another Kiwi said,
May 9, 2012 at 6:25
Jennifer as unlikely as it might be, anything you want to use of mine, help yourself.
The comments out of context posts were great. I used to look forward to them.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 7:21
By the way Jennifer, you are on the temporay will kill list for bringing up the song that must not be named. You see you compounded the original error by bringing it up again.
To be fair, i put my own self on the list when I responded to the original comment as you might see up thread, or maybe i gave myself a time-out, but still!
I will debate with the supreme court in my head whether I have made a second violation regarding the possibility that I might have compounded the errror a second time though I have found that Along comes maryby the Association to be a decent antidote to the earworm. obviously OMMV (others). But it did the trick after you put that shit back into my head.
i will admit that your rant about it indicated that you were as pissed as I was, though I had to live through the thing in real time.
Oh Crap. it is my 47th Birthday for realz, not just in France. My 48th trip around the sun begins sometime today. I honestly never thought that I would make it this far along the space time continuum. I must be a fucking cat.
I swear to any invisible sky buddy and the FSM If there was a video recording the highlights of some of the shit I have managed to evade un or lightly scathed, agape a thousand jaws would be. Add to the list shit that didn’t involve death defying, but served as a demonstration of extemporaneous genius involving design, music or the problem solving arts.
Let me tell you, that arriving at the space time coordinates that contain a football and a streetsign at about twenty miles an hour (I was gonna make that fucking catch) is not pretty. Thankfully I caught the sign out of the corner of my eye at the last second and was able to use my elbow to save my face. Unfortunately when i tried to get out of my shift that evening I was informed that someone had called in sick (read got too drunk the night before), so I covered my table bussing/salad bar shift after getting a half hour of leeway to secure bandaging. Fortunately when the management saw the extent of injury, they never questioned the one other time I reqested to pass on a shift due to injury (I’m one of those bridge too far types), unfrotunately on that night we were slammed and understaffed. later the party who had decided to party apologized.
In any event thank you very much for letting me digress and conquer. Hitting the pavement at 43 + miles an hour on a bicycle is another story with which some of you may be familiar.
Both true, and yet somehow I have made it to the point wherein I can start yet another trip round the sun.
Though I think I have given up the death defying. I really wanted to bomb down a hill at 55 when I turned 55, on a bicycle that i had built myself. If I get the opportunity to build my fifth frame and thousandth pair of wheels I will go out in a blaze of glory and if the past is any indication, land on my feet. I know the perfect hill, and have hit 62mph on it before (53-11 gearing, pro style aero tuck) a straight away shot with a straight bottom quartermile leading to an uphill straight. If I am still alive by then I will get pushbromms out, manacure the course.
It should be obvious at this point what kind of idiot I am, but thanks for your allowing me a little indulgence.
.
That i am still consuming all Y’alls oxygen is a fine thing.
BTW tsam, you are now off the list.
RWW said,
May 9, 2012 at 8:20
What’s all this talk about penis colliders and gettin’ cock in the rain?
M. Bouffant said,
May 9, 2012 at 8:48
Howlin’ Wolf’s Chess Masters double vinyl
I will rate that one ★★★★★; you can not beat it w/ a stick.
Suezboo said,
May 9, 2012 at 9:40
Happy Birthday, Provider. Her Upstairs obviously has something Big in mind for you to keep you around this long.Hope it’s a good year for you.
Any Chance said,
May 9, 2012 at 10:22
I can’t beleive it. The Mind Numbed Lefty Robots are still out it.
actor212 said,
May 9, 2012 at 11:24
You all know I will forever be scouring the Internet for the most annoying songs on the planet to torture you with, right?
Don’t worry….Be HAPPY!
Another Kiwi said,
May 9, 2012 at 11:30
“Out to it” or “at it”?
If people are going to do half arsed trolling I think they have a responsibility to be, at least, semi coherent.
Is it too much to ask? And it negates the trolling iffen no one understands your weak arse bollocks.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 12:40
That’s on the “Reservoir Dogs” soundtrack, so I have that song burned into my memory and then some.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 12:40
Uncalled for.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 12:43
Suezboo. Thanks. You are very sweet and the world needs as much of that as she can get her hands on.
i think that somewhere ’round 17 to twenty minutes ago my mum was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief after the birth of her first child. Sometimes I wonder why she bothered, what with me being a cantankerous yet precocious pain in the ass.
.
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 12:58
Douchehat’s column today is titled Marriage Rights, and I assume is about NC prop 1. I don’t give him clicks…anyone read it?
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
May 9, 2012 at 13:06
HOPPY BEER DAY, UNE!
.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
May 9, 2012 at 13:33
And today, I ride to Murfreesboro, the state capitol from 1818-1826. Backflow inspection class. Yay!
.
paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 13:50
Happy Wossname Provider, ya handsome devil!
Suezboo said,
May 9, 2012 at 13:50
Ride, Jeffy, ride. (Annoying earworm anyone?)
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
May 9, 2012 at 14:04
re: Horrible songs
I’m with Jennifer on that one, what with the whole cheating and ignoring your partner thing. On teh plus side, it’s pretty believable because teh ad is so fucking douche-y.
That said, it is not even close to as godawfully creepy as Take a Message Maria.
P.S. I’d be pleased as punch if any of my comments made teh Out Of Context calendar.
DAS said,
May 9, 2012 at 14:48
BTW — Happy Birthday Provider_UNE!
DAS said,
May 9, 2012 at 14:50
“hop terroir” movement can get off the ground – OBS
I see what you’re doing there …
H. Rumbold, Masterr Barber said,
May 9, 2012 at 14:58
In a similar vein, Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me and Rikki, don’t lose that number.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 14:59
Happy B-Day, Provider! Here’s to many more.
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:06
Afternoon Delight.
Happy birthday, Provider! Toss back a couple for me.
& to all you kind souls above who have agreed to share your pearls of humor, a hearty thanks. I will update on progress as we go along.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:11
We Built This City on Rock ‘n’ Roll!
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:15
You leave me no choice but to return fire with -
Muskrat Love
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:17
Speaking of I Can’t Stop This Feeling, unless you’ve heard the Hasselhoff version, you’ve never really experienced the song.
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:17
You Light Up My Life
Pryme said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:23
We Built This City on Rock ‘n’ Roll!
It was what the Founding Fathers intended when they drafted the Constitution. (we joke now, but in 100 years, future conservatives will be arguing this).
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:26
Jennifer, I loooooooooove that video and am better for having seen it.
BTW, know what sucks about earworming folks? You screw yourself in the process. Ouch.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:27
That won’t work on me, Major–I don’t know the song!
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:28
It was what the Founding Fathers intended when
they draftedtranscribed the Constitution from divine inspiration.Fixed for greater wingnuttiness. And yes, some of them actually believe this.
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:30
That won’t work on me, Major–I don’t know the song!
You may be too young and were mercifully spared it’s terrible onslaught.
It was a Captain and Tennille song circa 1975 or so.
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:32
Just the mere mention of it causes PTSD in those of us who were there.
Shudder
I may have to start drinking.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:37
She’s Havin’ My Baby!
Helmut Monotreme said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:42
Are there such things as ’70s re-enactors? do they ride around the country in conversion vans with Frank Frazetta murals airbrushed on the side listening to Captain and Tennille on 8-track players communicating with others of their far flung tribe on CB radios?
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:57
Yes. They’re called hipsters.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 15:58
Wait. Is it “She’s” or “You’re?”
tigris said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:08
She’s Havin’ My Baby!
I only hear this as sung by the Circle Jerks.
Golem Heart said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:12
The Fifth Dimension crafted a number of earwormy hits that I enjoy unironically.
Up, Up and Away!
DAS said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:18
Bank of America, ppls!
Hope and Change, bottle and cans. Just clap your hands. – ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©
True story about BofA: when my parents wanted to buy a bigger home, they applied to BofA for a mortgage (which they could easily afford). BofA turned them down. Later on, when BofA took over the local bank at which they banked, BofA offered them a refinance that they could not afford. And this was before
the JewsBarney Frank destroyed the banking system by forcing banks to loan money to “those people”(TM).paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:25
Relevant. Unsettling. Blogwhore.
DAS said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:26
Who the fuck LIKES pina coladas? Has a heterosexual male EVER ordered a fucking pina colada? – Jennifer
I actually like Pina Coladas (and I am a heterosexual male). But I would NEVER order one (so half of the quoted statements are true): I would only drink a Pina Colada if it is made with a rum that is flavorful enough to actually add something to the drink (i.e. if someone could have substituted vodka for the rum, why would I bother to order the drink when I could just have coconut milk, a pineapple juice and get drunk later on good whiskey), yet light enough to not make the drink taste like it was made with spoilt burnt molasses. IOW, I’m not going to spend good money on a pina colada made with cheap Bacardi.
I’ll just, in the privacy of my own home, mix for my wife and I some pineapple juice, coconut milk (or coconut water for something lighter) and some Brugel, Barcelo, Curzon or Wray and Nephew (depending on what we have in the house) and maybe even add some seasonings. Now if only they’d end the embargo so we could get Havana Club …
Anyway — feel free to use my comments …
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:40
Yeah, btw, I didn’t specify, but I figured that my being in near-constant need of validation would make it obvious that…yes, you may use my quotes. TELL ME I’M FUNNY! VALIDATE ME, JENNIFER!
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:46
West Virginia, mountain high-igh, take me home, felon road
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:47
Eh….I don’t really think I’m in much of a position to validate anyone what with being so needy and insecure and such as…
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:47
Yeah, btw, I didn’t specify, but I figured that my being in near-constant need of validation would make it obvious that…yes, you may use my quotes. TELL ME I’M FUNNY! VALIDATE ME, JENNIFER!
ONE person actually admits what’s REALLY going on.
Jennifer said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:48
…but yes, I’m sure I will sweep up many of your pearls of humor, so thank you.
Bitter Scribe said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:49
When I was in San Juan, I saw a plaque commemorating a certain bar or hotel (can’t remember which one) as the birthplace of the pina colada. And I saw it out the window of my bus. The fucking thing was huge–the size of a picture window. They take their rum drinks seriously down there.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:50
I only hear this as sung by the Circle Jerks.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:53
I hate Pina Coladas because I HATE HATE HATE HATE coconut.
I do, however, LOVE Mai Tais. Mmmmmmmmmmm
I have been known to have me some foofy drinks too, as well as dumbass shit like anything with “Irish” in the name. (You people are fucked up with your trash cans and car bombs and shit).
Yes, I know that’s not really Irish, but all the guys who wear kilts (LOL) on St. Patrick’s Day seem to love them.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:55
Are there such things as ’70s re-enactors? do they ride around the country in conversion vans with Frank Frazetta murals airbrushed on the side listening to Captain and Tennille on 8-track players communicating with others of their far flung tribe on CB radios?
If there is, I’m SO THERE. I want a Star Wars mural on my F150 Rapist’s Special.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 16:56
♥
That belongs on my earlier post and FYWP. You keep that up, I’ll start duplicating comments again, BITCH.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:01
And that, ladies and germs, is how a thread gets kilt.
paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:02
I want a Star Wars mural on my F150 Rapist’s Special.
Westphalia van with airbrushed pintos and rainbow, Best Of Henry Gross in the stereo…
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:03
Cat Stevens!
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:04
10CC
paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:05
Status Quo.
Let’s rock out with some Uriah Heep.
paleotectonics said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:07
Some of Spinal Tap’s greatestest creations were from their singer-songwriter phase…
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 17:08
Are there such things as ’70s re-enactors?
Breaker breaker yah that’ll be a big 10-4 on that buddy.
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:04
Let’s rock out with some Uriah Heep.
Wasn’t Uriah Heep the inspiration for Spinal Tap?
H. Rumbold, Masterr Barber said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:04
Twitter makes me all nostalgic for the wit and wisdom of CB radio.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:10
For Major Kong
Give this a try–more melodic hip hop by an absolutely fantastic group called Cunninlynguists. The name itself makes them worth a listen.
The problem with hip hop is the same problem rock has. Sturgeon’s Law–writ large in the case of rap/hip hop.
Nym said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:22
A slight digression from the music talk:
Congratulations to Jonah Goldberg on the Pulitzer Nominations He Received From Himself
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:25
Windshield wipers, slapping out a 10-4
Keepin’ perfect rhythm with the song on the radio
Gotta keep a’rollin’
Ooooooh, I’m drivin’ my life away….
The CB radio/trucker phenomenon gave us such timeless wonders as BJ and The Bear. At the time, I felt that truckers who pack monkies around were grossly underrepresented in pop culture. BJ and The Bear helped to bring this class of people to the forefront of the discussion about American culture.
Caliph Garrett said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:27
Wasn’t Uriah Heep the inspiration for Spinal Tap?
I just bought a copy of The Best of Uriah Heep on LP, and the entire back cover of the dust jacket is a flowchart and exegesis of past and present (as of 1976) band members—mostly drummers—so, yeah.
J Neo Marvin said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:32
Has a heterosexual male EVER ordered a fucking pina colada?
Only heterosexual male werewolves.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:32
I have this song in my liberry.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:34
Metrosexual. Their hair is PERFECT!
Major Kong said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:41
Not bad.
Bitter Scribe said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:44
@Nym: Oh, lizard shit! Goldberg is doing that “nominated for a Pulitzer Prize” shtick? I remember this old, broken-down drunken hack of a community newspaper editor doing that every year, and we would all laugh our asses off about it. How utterly fucking pathetic.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:47
You might like this too.
Pay attention to the lyrics–it’s a classical reminiscence tune, very well written. Good perspective piece for us whities.
S. cerevisiae said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:47
OK, you people asked for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0lKmznjgfQ
Back in the old days I wanted a big E350 van with the big mural but I wanted to put in a couple of boat portholes for the bubble windows. Pioneer cassette deck and CB, nach.
Pryme said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:50
Congratulations to Jonah Goldberg on the Pulitzer Nominations He Received From Himself
This is like when Bill’O claimed to have won a drawer full of Peabodies.
S. cerevisiae said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:50
Here is another fine example of dreck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd_Fdly3rX8
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:54
VALIDATE ME, JENNIFER!
Then she can park ANYWHERE.
bbkf said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:56
okay…one of the most annoying songs EVAR: that lame kid rock one about singing sweet home alabama all summer long…damn…just gave myself an earworm…
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:57
Finally! I was beginning to wonder if I was losing my touch.
Anyhoo, catching up:
Jennifer, if any of my ridiculous off-topic ramblings are funny/clever enough for inclusion in your project, please
validate me!feel free to use them. And I’d buy one.Provider: Happy Birthday!
I like the cut of your jib — I once hit 52 mph on my mountain bike down a gravel road, and have many scars to prove the ridiculous things I’ve done. One of the better ones was doing “street luge” before they called it that — just laying down on your skateboard and bombing hills. Great fun until even with trucks tightened to maximum and laying down you hit wobble-speed. Thankfully the pain doesn’t really start until you stop sliding so you can almost enjoy the novelty of sliding down a paved hill on your ass.
I also had the “football catch with bonus pole embellishment” experience, but in my case it was in a back yard and it was a clothesline pole. Made the catch, ended up unconscious with a black eye, but thankfully no bandages were needed.
Oh, and re: earworms. This.
tsam said,
May 9, 2012 at 18:58
okay…one of the most annoying songs EVAR: that lame kid rock one about singing sweet home alabama all summer long…damn…just gave myself an earworm…
That’s a top 5 most annoying song. I HATE that he turned into a full on dumbfuck redneck. Jackass. I used to sort of like him, now I think he’s just pathetic.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 19:01
Also.
Gerald Fnord said,
May 9, 2012 at 19:09
>His hair was PERFECT.
In the window of Lee Ho Fooks in Soho, there is a large poster of Warren Zevon (I ate dim sum across the street from it).
I recall an high-school “talent” show; this homely girl no-one knew went on stage to unpleasant murmurs, then completely bowled people over with her rendition of “You Light Up My Life”.
Patti Smith’s rendition of same gave me the weird ‘I hate to like this’ feeling I got listening to Richard Thompson’s version of “Oops! I did it again” as part of his pop hits of the last millenia concert.
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 19:11
Thanks guys, with a particular nod of the head to VS, Jen and DAS.
.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
May 9, 2012 at 19:11
There is a shiny new thread that doesn’t have any worms in it.
vacuumslayer said,
May 9, 2012 at 19:12
Then she can park ANYWHERE.
Jealous?
N__B said,
May 9, 2012 at 19:21
Jealous?
No car + no license = no parking. Nyah nyah nyah.
jim said,
May 9, 2012 at 21:07
Oh Crap.
Congratulations / Condolences!
I’m two months older than you, so RESPECT YER ELDER! Heh.
I’m not getting older, I’m getting bitter … nah, fuck it – I’m sure the hell getting older alright. Either that or there’s one harshly abused voodoo-doll out there somewhere.
jim said,
May 9, 2012 at 21:28
BRB, NOMINATING MYSELF 4 PULITZER
Provider_UNE_ said,
May 9, 2012 at 23:08
I also had the “football catch with bonus pole embellishment” experience, but in my case it was in a back yard and it was a clothesline pole. Made the catch, ended up unconscious with a black eye, but thankfully no bandages were needed.
Damn OBS! Mad props on making the catch! Glad to know that there are other members of the loony tunes chorus afoot.
One of the reasons that I refuse to own a Motorcycle (though I am damn sure I would have a blast) is the fact that I know myself too well. The urge to test the limits of traction would be overpowering.
I’m two months older than you, so RESPECT YER ELDER! Heh.
Yes sir Jim, sir!
:)
.