Some teenagers really DON’T have the brains, or the stones, to examine everything their parents have told them and decide whether or not it’s true. Some teenagers grow up with liberal, non-judgmental parents, and decide the best way to rebel is by becoming locked-down, buttoned-up scolds who can’t keep their minds off other peoples’ habits. And some teenagers, consistently rejected from the kool kidz’ table, decide that the only salve for their wounded egos will be ensuring that nobody will ever, ever be permitted to have a better time than they did. Add in the people who literally worship money as the be-all and end-all of human existence, and you’ve pretty much established the parameters of the modern Republican party.

I guess maybe that pic explains why he’s eschewed normal, healthy human behavior in favor of publishing his masturbation fantasies about wearing a prom dress while dildo-wielding K-12 students and guidance councillors anally violate him inside a burning church.

Man these conservatards are weird.

I feel very hurt that you felt you had to tell us this.

Wow. just wow. Unleashed pushing.

Could he mean unleashed spaghetti-pushing?

The fools! After we’d worked so hard to eradicate the dildo-dress menace.

Admit it. “Dildoes on dresses”, you all hummed that, too.

Paragraph Two: Morality not allowed unless immorality defined as moral.

Paragraph Three: Nitro-fueled explosions!

Paragraph Four: Widespread church-torching.

Well hell, why not? He certainly knows his audience. They lap this stuff up, and believe every word. His article is not perfect, though. He failed to mention the mandatory Satan worship and school lunch cannibalism, so at least we snuck that by.

*Everybody* sing!

You should try the Unitarian sex-ed class. You’re not far off.

Idle hands are in fact the devils playthings. God gave you a perfectly good place to put those hands, and just within reach, too. Whereas the Devil just keeps saying no, dirty, no, dirty, no, icky…..

I can pretty much guarantee you that if you DID give lessons in school on how to have anal sex, kids would whine and complain it was boring.

In fact, teaching anal sex in school would probably do a lot to keep kids from having it – if you have to take a test on it, it’s automatically not cool.

There was a scene like that in The Meaning of Life, IIRC. The teacher was boffing his wife in front of the class, and he had to snap at the kids to pay attention.