When you’re a middle-aged middle-manager suburban fuck trying to look like an extra from Deliverance, something’s gone terribly wrong with your life.
Jim Hoft, Goatse Pundit:
Horror!… Neo-Nazi #Occupy Phoenix Protester Goes on Shooting Rampage – 5 Dead*
Shorter (or the last port before jungle):
- The fact that JT Ready once annoyed a bunch of Occupy protesters is proof that he masturbated into a Karl Marx body pillow every night. So he’s yours liberals, just like every other lone wolf killer with no connection whatsoever to conservatives.
You’ve been warned. Now, on with the post.
The right is really desperate for a martyr. I mean, it always seems the Left gets to have all the martyrs just because they are the ones getting killed by the right-wingers. And that’s just not fair.
The Left doesn’t even want its martyrs and besides wastes them by doing things like having candlelight vigils, marches for solidarity, or using the deaths to highlight social ills or problems instead of doing cool stuff like using them to justify even more eliminationist rhetoric against people right-wingers hate. Not to mention the full-on ratcheting up of bigotry.
Meanwhile the Right is gagging for it. They need something, anything to justify the climate of fear they constantly live in, something to make themselves seem less like stereotypical old horror movie women running and screaming at every single noise and bump in the night.
They invented fake potential future martyrs with the death panels and the FEMA camps. They tried drawing backward Bs on their face and claiming Obama thugs did it. They tried straight up punching random Union members so they could claim random assault when one or two of them fought back. They have been trying to claim the smattering of black people being less willing to deal with bullshit from paranoid racists in the wake of the Trayvon Martin shooting (just like those uncultured thugs after MLK randomly got shot by someone) as a wave of race war against all whites everywhere. And they’ve been openly masturbating to Boy band member Anders Breivik (he’s the Bad Boy) being randomly executed just so they’ll finally have someone to work with.
And then, as if all their prayers were answered. It happened!
JT Ready, right-wing hero for running an extralegal murder gang patrolling the US-Mexico border looking for people with tans to shoot, was found dead.
Moreover, his Facebook page bore the wonderful news that:
“Reports are unconfirmed that a cartel assassination squad murdered JT Ready and several of his friends and family this afternoon in Gilbert Arizona,” the posting said. “This page’s admin will keep you updated of the situation as soon as possible.”
But sadly, wingnuts only had time for a quick 5 hour prolonged masturbation session and no time to post their triumphant skrees in the faces of all those meanie mean liberals before the inevitable happened.
Arizona vigilante Jason Todd “J.T.” Ready’s final act might have been his most horrific, say police.
Police have identified the former Marine with ties to neo-Nazi and Minutemen groups as one of the five people killed in a shooting spree in Gilbert, Ariz., a Phoenix suburb on Wednesday, according to the Associated Press.
It also appears that Ready, who was running for sheriff in Arizona’s Pinal County, killed four people, including a 15-month-old baby girl, her mother, and grandmother, before he turn the gun on himself, reports The (Ariz.) Republic.
Well, fuck! No race war martyr this time and worse yet, there was yet another right-wing footsoldier that the usual gang of idiots needed to disavow all knowledge of and claim as a secret leftie (though they can easily understand how someone could be driven to such a state by blah blah blah).
Enter Jim Hoft and his site Gateway Pundit, which may very well have the ugliest, most nonsensical banner of any site I’ve used for my posts yet. Seriously, it’s like if someone’s family photo album contracted Space AIDS.
Jim realizes it might be difficult to claim as left-wing a man so right-wing he was a Neo-Nazi Minuteman White Supremacist Militia member, but Jim realizes that with his mayfly of an attention span audience, he doesn’t need to try all that hard.
Allow me to demonstrate:
Back in October we reported that Neo-Nazi Jason Todd Ready was patrolling the #Occupy Phoenix camp with AR-15?s.
Yes… he was “patrolling” Occupy Phoenix and certainly Jim Hoft does his level best to insinuate that this meant some identification with the cause.
Now, briefly let us entertain this notion as if it was based in reality. I’m not exactly sure what that would be proving. Occupy, while seen as left-leaning movement, is at its heart mostly about class oppression and is not liberal only (hence the We are the 99% rather than the We are the 72% (Minus 27% and 1%)). Additionally, I’m not sure what one single appearance on one issue would do to erase his lifelong far right credentials or the fact that before this death, the right-wing has been orgasming themselves silly on how he and the other Minutemen were the manly solution to the Border problem.
And sure, that would be one track to take if this had any real bearing on reality. The Minutemen goons pretty much showed up to get themselves some publicity, try to make themselves look less like the fringe nutters they are, and to annoy the liberal-leaning protesters in that passive-aggressive way that conservatives like to participate in liberal events (we see you anti-gay protester who is first in line at Pride so no one will block his view of the men in the banana hammocks).
Really hope this isn’t all the sauce Jim has for the post or this is going to get into sobbing into a moe body pillow territory real fast.
Neo-Nazi Jason Todd (J.T.) Ready pictured on left patrolling the Occupy Phoenix protest and on right at Southern Poverty Law Center website.
Ooh. Ooh dear, that’s not good at all. And losing wingnut points too by citing the Southern Poverty Law Center as the respected recognizer of hate groups that it is rather than just ranting about how its bigoted against Proud Conservatives like JT Ready who dare speak the truth.
Not at all a good start for the rookie.
Of course, since this was not a Tea Party rally the story was never picked up by the liberal media.
Oh, fuck, Jim, Jimmy boy, what the fuck are you doing?!?
Now, you’re giving away the game on the whole teabagger publicity shtick? That the supposedly liberal media was right there at every moment to give the teabaggers all the air-time they could ever want, but ran in fear of even acknowledging the Occupy movement for fear that it would catch on more than it did?
It’s been literally 3 sentences and so far you’ve tripped over your own dick and given up the farm on two highly successful right-wing scam outrages. What’s next, giving up in the same post your flimsy rationale-
From the Video: Morpheus heads to down town Phoenix at the Cesar Chavez plaza to join with other individuals to DEMONSTRATE for the right to exist! The demonstrators get some protection from JT Ready and US Border Guard
Of course, he did. Why wouldn’t he? It’s not like he still had dignity at this point. Sure, he’s managed to sever his penis and lose it up the bowels of his own prolapsed anus, but why would that stop him from still trying to fuck himself?!?
So, yeah, four sentences into the post and now even the flimsy premise of his post has been disproven. Hmm, gosh, was JT Ready at the demonstration? Yup, sure was, but by the video and comment he just posted, it wasn’t to fucking join in, but rather to shill for supporters to make his little hate group legal (hey, it’s Arizona, it’s only a matter of fucking time at this point) and to otherwise be an annoying prick.
It’s like saying that the protesters outside an abortion clinic are OB/GYNs preforming surgical abortions.
Jason Todd (J.T.) Ready, is a Neo-Nazi with a long criminal record who, also, received a bad-conduct discharge from the Marines in 1996.
This week Jason Todd went on a horrific shooting spree.
Man, passive language and vague comments really are a lifesaver at times like these. What were those crimes, what caused his discharge from the Marines, when did being a Neo-Nazi become a fucking left-wing phenomenon, what political motivations make him a name worth giving a fuck about, especially on a small-time incident like this? Who could say? And if no one could say, then obviously that single not even an appearance must have been the only fucking thing he ever did in his life.
You believe that, right? Please say you believe that!
Next is the little segment I quoted earlier detailing the event. None of which is actually from the yahoo story supposedly being quoted. Probably because that story couldn’t really leave out the “why we should give a fuck” elements that Jim Hoft is desperately trying to beat to death with a golf club.
Left out is of course, the whole Minutemen thing that defined him, and of course the complete erasure of who was killed, leaving it as a generic spree. Yeah, wouldn’t want someone pointing out that he killed his girlfriend, her daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and her granddaughter.
Might make it seem less like that “left-wing terrorist” that the Right has been looking desperately for since the Weathermen and more like just another crazed right-wing misogynist deciding to take out on their wife/girlfriend their various frustrations on how the world is “emasculating” them.
Also not included? The fact that his girlfriend was latina (how did she not catch the giant red flags on that one?). Which leads me to wonder, what is with all these professional haters and them banging the targets of their hatred?
I mean, we had white supremacists like Strom Thurmond and their secret black lovers, plantation owners raping their slaves all over the place while arguing that they weren’t fit to touch with bare hands, and of course the huge number of anti-gay professionals being caught getting their luggage lifted.
Is it the taboo, or is it just fealty to the right-wing tribe? That is, if they find the group they are supposed to hate tasty, they need to hate even stronger and more publicly to try and prove themselves over it?
I’m legitimately curious at this point.
Now what was I talking about?
As Jim Treacher says, “The Occupy Camp is a great incubator for domestic terrorism.”
That’s an understatement!
Oh, right, this dipshit.
Yeah, I’m not even sure I should even dignify this bit of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION with a response. I mean, they’ve been literally trying to find anything, literally anything, to pin on the Occupy movement for fucking months and the closest they managed to get was an internal rape problem that plagues any open-air movement with no bars for entry.
And this? Pfft, he disproved this horseshit himself in the 4th sentence. And that’s before we note that this supposed sage statement came up before there was even that weak desperate piece of sauce.
Hey, wingnuts, if you’re embarrassed by the number of nationally-known domestic terrorists you’ve been producing in the last handful of years, why don’t you try, I dunno, STOP PRODUCING THEM?!?
I know, we, your humble victims, would sure love it if you’d do that and then we’d have no reason to be such meanie poopyheads going around turning your former heroes into right-wing terrorists just cause they decided to go on a shooting spree or two.
It’d just save everyone effort all around, really… And they say Left and Right can’t work together to solve problems anymore!
More… It looks like poor unhinged Charles Johnson jumped the gun on this one.
Man, remember when Charles Johnson and John Cole were just right-wing fucks receiving endless blowjobs from freaks like this?
No, seriously, who slipped them the antidote to the crazy pills, and can we sneak it into the water supply of rural areas? Cause, that shit doesn’t happen nearly as often as it should.
JT wasn’t a rightwinger after all, huh Chuck?
Yeah, my tenuous self-disproven hand-wave totally erased all the extremely well documented right-wing values espoused and championed by JT Ready! Yup! Hell, why are we even talking about him? All he was was some nutbar Occupy protester. And he went on a shooting spree, probably of super-white Republicans. See, we can have our martyrs too! They’re somewhere! Damn it, we were so close too, why couldn’t you have at least been shot by the dying husband of your girlfriend’s daughter so we could legitimately claim you were gunned down by someone with “strong ties to latino organizations” or some such shit. Fuck you JT Ready, you goddamn cocktease!
Hopefully Mr. Johnson will be honest enough to post an update with corrections.
Yes, Mr. Johnson, take a cue from the paragon of honesty that is Jim Hoft.
Actually, what makes this even more amazing is that this is his response to the response.
So, Charles Johnson, reformed fucknozzle that he is, jumps in and points the obvious on this little turd, and good ol Jimmy’s response is “yup, it sure is a smelly one, ain’t it?” as if he didn’t just get bitchslapped so hard he almost thought lucidly for the first time in his life.
I don’t know why he even bothered. Usually, you post an attempted rebuttal to you know, rebut the rebuttal, say something new that demolishes your opponent’s point, say by pointing out the flawed nature of their logic or something.
You don’t just post a link to someone pointing out you have the intellect that Demeter gave amoebas and act like the sheer effort of posting that link is the same as a response. No, he doesn’t think your original case is convincing, that’s why he mocked it Jimmy.
So why bring attention to it at all? If you’ve got nothing, you don’t just link to the people laughing about it with a goofy smile on your face.
They’re not laughing with you Jimmy. THEY’RE LAUGHING AT YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME FUCKWAD? THEY’RE LAUGHING AT YOU!
Hopefully, Mr. Hoft will update a derisive self-fail with regards to this post as well.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Providing a last stop before the mango safari since 3 and a half minutes ago is invented by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Yeah, there’s like a gazillion things wrong with that title, you could tackle the IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, the turning of a domestic violence murder-suicide (the ones that just happen to be more prevalent among conservative men with manliness issues) into a “shooting spree” to try and get a false equivalence with Breivik and all the other shooting sprees conservatives have been having lately, trying to use a twitter hashtag in a goddamn post title, and of course the nonsensical pairing of “Neo-Nazi” and Occupy like that makes sense and doesn’t at all give away the attempted “nuh uh, he’s yours”-ness of the whole post. It’s like Jim Hoft is trying to use his blog post title as a plea for an intervention for his massive drug problem.