May
5

It’s Almost Like They’re Tired of Hand-Waving Their Monstrous Creations Away or Something




Posted at 7:48 by Cerberus

When you’re a middle-aged middle-manager suburban fuck trying to look like an extra from Deliverance, something’s gone terribly wrong with your life.

Jim Hoft, Goatse Pundit:
Horror!… Neo-Nazi #Occupy Phoenix Protester Goes on Shooting Rampage – 5 Dead*

Shorter (or the last port before jungle):

  • The fact that JT Ready once annoyed a bunch of Occupy protesters is proof that he masturbated into a Karl Marx body pillow every night. So he’s yours liberals, just like every other lone wolf killer with no connection whatsoever to conservatives.

You’ve been warned. Now, on with the post.

The right is really desperate for a martyr. I mean, it always seems the Left gets to have all the martyrs just because they are the ones getting killed by the right-wingers. And that’s just not fair.

The Left doesn’t even want its martyrs and besides wastes them by doing things like having candlelight vigils, marches for solidarity, or using the deaths to highlight social ills or problems instead of doing cool stuff like using them to justify even more eliminationist rhetoric against people right-wingers hate. Not to mention the full-on ratcheting up of bigotry.

Meanwhile the Right is gagging for it. They need something, anything to justify the climate of fear they constantly live in, something to make themselves seem less like stereotypical old horror movie women running and screaming at every single noise and bump in the night.

They invented fake potential future martyrs with the death panels and the FEMA camps. They tried drawing backward Bs on their face and claiming Obama thugs did it. They tried straight up punching random Union members so they could claim random assault when one or two of them fought back. They have been trying to claim the smattering of black people being less willing to deal with bullshit from paranoid racists in the wake of the Trayvon Martin shooting (just like those uncultured thugs after MLK randomly got shot by someone) as a wave of race war against all whites everywhere. And they’ve been openly masturbating to Boy band member Anders Breivik (he’s the Bad Boy) being randomly executed just so they’ll finally have someone to work with.

And then, as if all their prayers were answered. It happened!

JT Ready, right-wing hero for running an extralegal murder gang patrolling the US-Mexico border looking for people with tans to shoot, was found dead.

Moreover, his Facebook page bore the wonderful news that:

“Reports are unconfirmed that a cartel assassination squad murdered JT Ready and several of his friends and family this afternoon in Gilbert Arizona,” the posting said. “This page’s admin will keep you updated of the situation as soon as possible.”

But sadly, wingnuts only had time for a quick 5 hour prolonged masturbation session and no time to post their triumphant skrees in the faces of all those meanie mean liberals before the inevitable happened.

Arizona vigilante Jason Todd “J.T.” Ready’s final act might have been his most horrific, say police.

Police have identified the former Marine with ties to neo-Nazi and Minutemen groups as one of the five people killed in a shooting spree in Gilbert, Ariz., a Phoenix suburb on Wednesday, according to the Associated Press.

It also appears that Ready, who was running for sheriff in Arizona’s Pinal County, killed four people, including a 15-month-old baby girl, her mother, and grandmother, before he turn the gun on himself, reports The (Ariz.) Republic.

Well, fuck! No race war martyr this time and worse yet, there was yet another right-wing footsoldier that the usual gang of idiots needed to disavow all knowledge of and claim as a secret leftie (though they can easily understand how someone could be driven to such a state by blah blah blah).

Enter Jim Hoft and his site Gateway Pundit, which may very well have the ugliest, most nonsensical banner of any site I’ve used for my posts yet. Seriously, it’s like if someone’s family photo album contracted Space AIDS.

Jim realizes it might be difficult to claim as left-wing a man so right-wing he was a Neo-Nazi Minuteman White Supremacist Militia member, but Jim realizes that with his mayfly of an attention span audience, he doesn’t need to try all that hard.

Allow me to demonstrate:

Back in October we reported that Neo-Nazi Jason Todd Ready was patrolling the #Occupy Phoenix camp with AR-15?s.

Yes… he was “patrolling” Occupy Phoenix and certainly Jim Hoft does his level best to insinuate that this meant some identification with the cause.

Now, briefly let us entertain this notion as if it was based in reality. I’m not exactly sure what that would be proving. Occupy, while seen as left-leaning movement, is at its heart mostly about class oppression and is not liberal only (hence the We are the 99% rather than the We are the 72% (Minus 27% and 1%)). Additionally, I’m not sure what one single appearance on one issue would do to erase his lifelong far right credentials or the fact that before this death, the right-wing has been orgasming themselves silly on how he and the other Minutemen were the manly solution to the Border problem.

And sure, that would be one track to take if this had any real bearing on reality. The Minutemen goons pretty much showed up to get themselves some publicity, try to make themselves look less like the fringe nutters they are, and to annoy the liberal-leaning protesters in that passive-aggressive way that conservatives like to participate in liberal events (we see you anti-gay protester who is first in line at Pride so no one will block his view of the men in the banana hammocks).

Really hope this isn’t all the sauce Jim has for the post or this is going to get into sobbing into a moe body pillow territory real fast.

Neo-Nazi Jason Todd (J.T.) Ready pictured on left patrolling the Occupy Phoenix protest and on right at Southern Poverty Law Center website.

Ooh. Ooh dear, that’s not good at all. And losing wingnut points too by citing the Southern Poverty Law Center as the respected recognizer of hate groups that it is rather than just ranting about how its bigoted against Proud Conservatives like JT Ready who dare speak the truth.

Not at all a good start for the rookie.

Of course, since this was not a Tea Party rally the story was never picked up by the liberal media.

Oh, fuck, Jim, Jimmy boy, what the fuck are you doing?!?

Now, you’re giving away the game on the whole teabagger publicity shtick? That the supposedly liberal media was right there at every moment to give the teabaggers all the air-time they could ever want, but ran in fear of even acknowledging the Occupy movement for fear that it would catch on more than it did?

It’s been literally 3 sentences and so far you’ve tripped over your own dick and given up the farm on two highly successful right-wing scam outrages. What’s next, giving up in the same post your flimsy rationale-

From the Video: Morpheus heads to down town Phoenix at the Cesar Chavez plaza to join with other individuals to DEMONSTRATE for the right to exist! The demonstrators get some protection from JT Ready and US Border Guard

Of course, he did. Why wouldn’t he? It’s not like he still had dignity at this point. Sure, he’s managed to sever his penis and lose it up the bowels of his own prolapsed anus, but why would that stop him from still trying to fuck himself?!?

So, yeah, four sentences into the post and now even the flimsy premise of his post has been disproven. Hmm, gosh, was JT Ready at the demonstration? Yup, sure was, but by the video and comment he just posted, it wasn’t to fucking join in, but rather to shill for supporters to make his little hate group legal (hey, it’s Arizona, it’s only a matter of fucking time at this point) and to otherwise be an annoying prick.

It’s like saying that the protesters outside an abortion clinic are OB/GYNs preforming surgical abortions.

Jason Todd (J.T.) Ready, is a Neo-Nazi with a long criminal record who, also, received a bad-conduct discharge from the Marines in 1996.

This week Jason Todd went on a horrific shooting spree.

Man, passive language and vague comments really are a lifesaver at times like these. What were those crimes, what caused his discharge from the Marines, when did being a Neo-Nazi become a fucking left-wing phenomenon, what political motivations make him a name worth giving a fuck about, especially on a small-time incident like this? Who could say? And if no one could say, then obviously that single not even an appearance must have been the only fucking thing he ever did in his life.

You believe that, right? Please say you believe that!

Next is the little segment I quoted earlier detailing the event. None of which is actually from the yahoo story supposedly being quoted. Probably because that story couldn’t really leave out the “why we should give a fuck” elements that Jim Hoft is desperately trying to beat to death with a golf club.

Left out is of course, the whole Minutemen thing that defined him, and of course the complete erasure of who was killed, leaving it as a generic spree. Yeah, wouldn’t want someone pointing out that he killed his girlfriend, her daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and her granddaughter.

Might make it seem less like that “left-wing terrorist” that the Right has been looking desperately for since the Weathermen and more like just another crazed right-wing misogynist deciding to take out on their wife/girlfriend their various frustrations on how the world is “emasculating” them.

Also not included? The fact that his girlfriend was latina (how did she not catch the giant red flags on that one?). Which leads me to wonder, what is with all these professional haters and them banging the targets of their hatred?

I mean, we had white supremacists like Strom Thurmond and their secret black lovers, plantation owners raping their slaves all over the place while arguing that they weren’t fit to touch with bare hands, and of course the huge number of anti-gay professionals being caught getting their luggage lifted.

Is it the taboo, or is it just fealty to the right-wing tribe? That is, if they find the group they are supposed to hate tasty, they need to hate even stronger and more publicly to try and prove themselves over it?

I’m legitimately curious at this point.

Now what was I talking about?

As Jim Treacher says, “The Occupy Camp is a great incubator for domestic terrorism.”
That’s an understatement!

Oh, right, this dipshit.

Yeah, I’m not even sure I should even dignify this bit of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION with a response. I mean, they’ve been literally trying to find anything, literally anything, to pin on the Occupy movement for fucking months and the closest they managed to get was an internal rape problem that plagues any open-air movement with no bars for entry.

And this? Pfft, he disproved this horseshit himself in the 4th sentence. And that’s before we note that this supposed sage statement came up before there was even that weak desperate piece of sauce.

Hey, wingnuts, if you’re embarrassed by the number of nationally-known domestic terrorists you’ve been producing in the last handful of years, why don’t you try, I dunno, STOP PRODUCING THEM?!?

I know, we, your humble victims, would sure love it if you’d do that and then we’d have no reason to be such meanie poopyheads going around turning your former heroes into right-wing terrorists just cause they decided to go on a shooting spree or two.

It’d just save everyone effort all around, really… And they say Left and Right can’t work together to solve problems anymore!

More… It looks like poor unhinged Charles Johnson jumped the gun on this one.

Man, remember when Charles Johnson and John Cole were just right-wing fucks receiving endless blowjobs from freaks like this?

No, seriously, who slipped them the antidote to the crazy pills, and can we sneak it into the water supply of rural areas? Cause, that shit doesn’t happen nearly as often as it should.

JT wasn’t a rightwinger after all, huh Chuck?

Yeah, my tenuous self-disproven hand-wave totally erased all the extremely well documented right-wing values espoused and championed by JT Ready! Yup! Hell, why are we even talking about him? All he was was some nutbar Occupy protester. And he went on a shooting spree, probably of super-white Republicans. See, we can have our martyrs too! They’re somewhere! Damn it, we were so close too, why couldn’t you have at least been shot by the dying husband of your girlfriend’s daughter so we could legitimately claim you were gunned down by someone with “strong ties to latino organizations” or some such shit. Fuck you JT Ready, you goddamn cocktease!

Hopefully Mr. Johnson will be honest enough to post an update with corrections.

Yes, Mr. Johnson, take a cue from the paragon of honesty that is Jim Hoft.

Actually, what makes this even more amazing is that this is his response to the response.

Just this.

So, Charles Johnson, reformed fucknozzle that he is, jumps in and points the obvious on this little turd, and good ol Jimmy’s response is “yup, it sure is a smelly one, ain’t it?” as if he didn’t just get bitchslapped so hard he almost thought lucidly for the first time in his life.

I don’t know why he even bothered. Usually, you post an attempted rebuttal to you know, rebut the rebuttal, say something new that demolishes your opponent’s point, say by pointing out the flawed nature of their logic or something.

You don’t just post a link to someone pointing out you have the intellect that Demeter gave amoebas and act like the sheer effort of posting that link is the same as a response. No, he doesn’t think your original case is convincing, that’s why he mocked it Jimmy.

So why bring attention to it at all? If you’ve got nothing, you don’t just link to the people laughing about it with a goofy smile on your face.

They’re not laughing with you Jimmy. THEY’RE LAUGHING AT YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME FUCKWAD? THEY’RE LAUGHING AT YOU!

Hopefully, Mr. Hoft will update a derisive self-fail with regards to this post as well.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Providing a last stop before the mango safari since 3 and a half minutes ago is invented by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Yeah, there’s like a gazillion things wrong with that title, you could tackle the IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, the turning of a domestic violence murder-suicide (the ones that just happen to be more prevalent among conservative men with manliness issues) into a “shooting spree” to try and get a false equivalence with Breivik and all the other shooting sprees conservatives have been having lately, trying to use a twitter hashtag in a goddamn post title, and of course the nonsensical pairing of “Neo-Nazi” and Occupy like that makes sense and doesn’t at all give away the attempted “nuh uh, he’s yours”-ness of the whole post. It’s like Jim Hoft is trying to use his blog post title as a plea for an intervention for his massive drug problem.

506 Comments »

  1. Cerberus said,

    May 5, 2012 at 7:50

    And yes, we are extra aware of all Internet Traditions. Including this excellent post at Balloon Juice on the subject.

  2. Chris said,

    May 5, 2012 at 8:22

    That was a good post by Balloon Juice: this paragraph especially is worth reposting.

    Don’t dare call them racists, don’t dare say we need law enforcement to look into the militia and white supremacist movements, don’t dare point out the people going on shooting rampages are not young urban minorities, don’t dare point out how easy it is to get firearms and ammunition in this country, don’t dare point out the people who actually are mounting up for a shooting war in our midst, because you should really be worried about the fellow down the street with the different religion or no religion at all or the unarmed black kid with the hoodie or the dirty effing hippie Occupy protester on the street corner or the Latino family driving along the border state highway or the people who want marriage equality for their loved ones, or the woman who wants to get rid of the fetus she’s going to be unable to care for in six months.

    And well posted, Cerb. You’re right: the desperate search for A: a right wing martyr and B: a left wing terrorist is driving them completely fucking bananas.

  3. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 8:28

    I like this quote from Balloon Juice:

    He’s not just a terrorist, he’s a complete “New branches of mathematics are necessary in order to sufficiently quantify how evil this asshole is” type of terrorist.

  4. ReinWeiss said,

    May 5, 2012 at 8:37

    sobbing into a moe body pillow territory real fast.

    http://confidential.tumblr.com/post/1196887718/hey-yeah-i-dont-think-i-would-mind-a-plug

  5. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 9:34

    I think that NYM has rocked my world. I’ll need to double check, and get back, and then read the newest Cerbian disection of the latest madness.
    .

  6. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 9:38

    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm

    Ask and you shall recieve.

    Thanks nym!
    :)
    .

  7. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 9:42

    They need something, anything to justify the climate of fear they constantly live in, something to make themselves seem less like stereotypical old horror movie women running and screaming at every single noise and bump in the night.

    Gold, this is it.
    .

  8. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 9:48

    …left-wing a man so right-wing he was a Neo-Nazi…

    But Cerb, in liberal fascism Neo-Nazi=Marx. And facts, like Gods, are what we make them.
    .

  9. Right-Wing Troll said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:08

    You libruls and your “facts” are always conspiring against us!
    But one day you will bow before Mendacity and submit to Its will!
    Uh, er, I mean . . . Yay Jesus!

  10. Jim Hoft's w̶a̶l̶l̶e̶t forehead said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:13

    It’s the one that says “Dumb Motherfucker.”

  11. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:14

    But didn’t you know that Ready was secretly a far-left dirty hippie Occupy protestor? I know because the Dumbest Man In Saint Louis said so.

    Another from BJ. While dumbest man in St louis is accurate, one could argue that he is the most idiotic person who retains the capacity to string words together. I am pretty sure that my roomates cat Pippi (with her longstockings natch) has more going on upstairs than Hoft.

    The itch to leave the vessel for some quickly erased Jim like bitchslapping is strong.

    Futility be damned.

    *splash*
    .

  12. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:28

    You guys know that shithouse rats have been laughing at you with impunity? Sure the niggity Nig Soshulist takeover of the country is a problem of great import, but really do we have to give the game completely away in search of a “villian” to identify so that each one of us can share in a bit of martyrdom?

    We don’t need to look too far, as Obambi has his hobnailed cloven feet on our necks and Holder is planning to pen us up in Fema CC’s.

    I mean there is tin foil, and then there is a requirement to purchase futures in Reynolds. We can do better than this.

    I have no idea if this will get past the paymaster, but this was my attempt to rally the brothers at arms.
    .

  13. Cerberus said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:31

    No, Provider, you don’t know what you are doing!

    The tigers out there pretty much treat Liberal Fascism as a Holy Scripture and by that I mean, like they treat actual Scripture, i.e. something to believe in literally even when it makes no god damn sense to do so.

    So lots of people trying to argue that the KKK, Nazis, and so on are left-wing organizations, being skeptical of him being a Minuteman even though that has been his entire notable identity, and trying to argue that there’s incontrovertible proof he’s either the liberalist of liberals or a plant created in a liberal factory in order to make conservatives look bad.

    There’s a few people lucid enough to almost realize that they might look like fucking morons if they support this self-refuting weak sauce, but for the rest, it’s full on Bizarro World where Hitler wasn’t a Christian and being a right-wing culture warrior means you’re a secret leftist.

    I think my favorite one is the paranoid comment worried that Charles Johnson is sending his minions to make the Gateway Pundit commenters look like paranoid racists like they needed any help.

    I didn’t think I’d say this, but these tigers make the ones at American Thinker look downright lucid and that’s saying something.

  14. Cerberus said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:34

    Yeah, not kidding, there’s a long running argument about how nazis and the KKK are left-wing because Nazi means National Socialist, therefore socialists and the KKK was in service to Southern Democrats back in the day therefore liberalism is to blame.

    If I had a commentariot that incurious and incredulous, I’d fucking phone it in this badly too.

  15. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:41

    If I had a commentariot that incurious and incredulous, I’d fucking phone it in this badly too.

    Hell, if i was in the same boat, i would make headcheese out of my own head. And nom on it like ZRM.

    Fantastic work BTW Cerb. xoxox.
    .

  16. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:46

    No, Provider, you don’t know what you are doing!

    That may very well be the case, but i have got to say that this bit cracks me the fuck up:

    We don’t need to look too far, as Obambi has his hobnailed cloven feet on our necks and Holder is planning to pen us up in Fema CC’s.

    I might need to work on my inner winger, but i think this is a good start.
    .

  17. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:51

    So far, my comment has not made it past the gate. Will have to check back in the morn. Now it does occur to me that i probably should have not followed the link from here as it might be likely that even as dumb as he is he might have set up filters from certain sites that routinely mock his ass with extreme prejudice.

    :)
    .

  18. Mrs Tilton said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:55

    The right is really desperate for a martyr.

    They’ll always have Horst Wessel.

  19. Suezboo said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:57

    I can’t do links, but Jesus’ General did a fine write-up under the title “Another Patriot goes postal (strikethrough) Second Amendment” on 3rd May. Love the General.
    OK, so I’m a crone who can’t do this fancy computer stuff. And I don’t care.

  20. Suezboo said,

    May 5, 2012 at 10:57

    PS. I run an Internet Cafe

  21. Another Kiwi said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:00

    Hoft still has a thorn in his (WARNING: don’t picture it in your mind!!) nasty ass about Chuckles leaving the Kill All the Mooselums group. So when even Chuckles can see that this is baloney several standard deviations past its use by date, Hoft gets all “Poo head Charles is a poo head” in a vain attempt to deflect.
    What I want to be the fly on the wall for is when they make up:
    “I always loved you, man”
    ” Me too, you’re so ruggedly handsome”

  22. Nym said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:04

    Provider: you’re welcome!

  23. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:07

    Suzebo, I set up a page a while ago that might help you with the linkydinks.

    here

    You can copy and paste the htmlness if necessary, and if I need to update the thing to make it more clear, let me know.
    .

  24. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:08

    Provider: you’re welcome!

    Thanks again. i have been having a blast reacquainting myself.
    :)
    .

  25. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:12

    Suzebo’s link to the General

  26. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:16

    Apoklogies for leaving off the last o Suezboo and misspelling your name at least on two occassions.

    I’ll be hanging out in the corner with the pointy hat now.
    .

  27. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:18

    However, I will remeber to do something with Apoklogies for its neologistic possibilities.
    .

  28. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 5, 2012 at 11:51

    That is one fetid, nasty swamp, and those ain’t mangos. Some of those commenters can’t have two brain cells to rub together.

    Wow.

  29. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 13:48

    So this is the polite armed society I was promised?

  30. Smut Clyde said,

    May 5, 2012 at 14:26

    Mrs Tilton said,
    The right is really desperate for a martyr.
    They’ll always have Horst Wessel.

    No, no, it has to be someone they can sing about.

  31. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 14:45

    So this is the polite armed society I was promised?

    They are still working out the bugs I think.

    I recently found Sagan’s Cosmos on the UTube as well as Burkes Connections, and against the backdrop of the ignorance we so dearly like to mock find it almost incredible that TPTB let this shit hit the light of day in the first place
    .

  32. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:04

    Some of those commenters can’t have two brain cells to rub together.

    Wish that it were so, but most of them have the requisite number yet choose to imitate the cognisense of a single celled organism…Wait, I might not be looking at this in the right way, and you might in fact be correct. If fear is the mind killer, and I think we have an abundance of evidence to support that hypothesis, then the minimal number of neurons required to keep the lizard brain alive + 2 might come close to equaling one Hoft.

    In fact I think that the Hoft should represent a measure of somekind, like the Kelvin. Though I have not figured out whether it should measure a quantity of cognitive dissonance or a “black hole” causing a negative IQ.

    Suggestions will be welcomed.

    We have our Friedman unit, courtesy of Atrios. I see no reason that we should not have at the very least a Hoft and or a Geller or even an Earnest T Bass, aka a Heh Indeedy, to explain in scientific terms certain elements of wingnuttery.

    I Think a Geller shouold be the unit for Projection, a Hoft for stupid, and an ETB for smug self satisfaction.

    Anyhoo this is a start, I am open to options.
    TIA.
    .

  33. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:18

    I’d say a Geller is for bugshit insanity.
    ~

  34. DrDick said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:36

    The rightwingers are just looking for a reason to explain why they wet their beds every night.

  35. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:43

    The right is really desperate for a martyr. I mean, it always seems the Left gets to have all the martyrs just because they are the ones getting killed by the right-wingers. And that’s just not fair.

    They can’t just dust off Kenneth Gladney and put a fake cast on him again?

  36. Prince of Pieces said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:43

    Burke’s “Connections?” *That* was fucking brilliant. I watched it when it came out (as a teen, yeah I’m old) and it blew me away.

  37. tigris said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:52

    Back in October we reported that Neo-Nazi Jason Todd Ready was patrolling the #Occupy Phoenix camp with AR-15?s.

    And “patrolling” with the Minutemen shows he is pro-Reconquista.

  38. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 15:57

    Is it the taboo, or is it just fealty to the right-wing tribe? That is, if they find the group they are supposed to hate tasty, they need to hate even stronger and more publicly to try and prove themselves over it?

    Don’t forget the grift. Never forget the grift! By promulgating the hate, they can earn big bux to buy the services of, for example, rentboys.

  39. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:30

    Why does it hurt when I pee?
    .

  40. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:35

    Why does it hurt when I pee?

    Because you’re peeing on an electric fence.

  41. N__B said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:36

    I thought the right’s martyr was Rudy Guiliani. I’ll never forget his actions on 9/11: running into the burning tower, fighting off Islamofascists to save a box of puppies, and then dying a tragic death when a falling shred of glass punctured his ego.

  42. N__B said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:36

    JP – Does it hurt when you U?

  43. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:37

    Because you’re peeing on an electric fence.

    Urethra! You have found the problem!
    .

  44. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:47

    Goddamn, the cognitive dissonance is strong in Hoft’s crowd… in the middle of a thread claiming that one lunatic shooter has always been a liberal, here’s a bleg on behalf of another lunatic shooter:

    Open For Business! Zimmerman Can Now Accept Donations For Defense Fund (DETAILS)

    Fuck, how the hell can they do it?

  45. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:50

    I probably learned more from Connections and the sequel, The Day the Universe Changed, than from my 6 years of higher education.

  46. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 16:58

    The whole Nazi equals socialist equals leftwing meme isn’t Hoft’s invention, but how pathetic is it when Jonah Pantload is your go-to authority?

  47. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 17:07

    I’d say a Geller is for bugshit insanity.

    Which would be an insult to bugshit, but i think you have a point. I think an Althouse can stand in for projection in the formula and a Zim or Zimmerman for bowel evacuating panic. And we’ll go with a Geller or Bolton for batshit insanity (apologies to bats)
    .

    I probably learned more from Connections and the sequel, The Day the Universe Changed

    That shit was awesome. I remember it from way back in the day, and have been so happy to see those shows again for the first time in nearly 30 years. Plus I have a couple of episodes of Cosmos as yet un re seen.

    W00t.

    Plus someone at BJuice thought my ideas concerning my framework for a Grand unified field theory of wingnuttery was a bit daft. I don’t blame the party in question as occassionally I write assuming the audience in question is on a similar page, and forget that that is not always the case.

    Plus it might be a bit daft.
    .

  48. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 17:35

    Plus someone at BJuice thought my ideas concerning my framework for a Grand unified field theory of wingnuttery was a bit daft. I don’t blame the party in question as occassionally I write assuming the audience in question is on a similar page, and forget that that is not always the case.

    Plus it might be a bit daft.

    The snark quotient is not that high there… one of the reasons I don’t frequent the site. Also, I read a rant by the proprietor castigating his commentariat and decided that he was a bit too authoritarian for my tastes. I guess there’s a kernel of conservative cognition that one can never truly let go of.

  49. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 17:48

    The fascinating world of cross connection, Week Two, in photos.
    .

  50. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    May 5, 2012 at 17:54

    Also, I read a rant by the proprietor castigating his commentariat and decided that he was a bit too authoritarian for my tastes.

    Yes, but he never really acts on it. The trolls there are banned as infrequently as the trolls here, and the regulars say whatever shit they want. You’re right about the kernel of conservatard cognition, but in Cole’s case it appears to be truly vestigial.

    I do totally agree about relative snark levels, though. The BJ commentariat does kind of OK with it but doesn’t have the mastery. But they’re much better than, say, FDL.

  51. Gary Puppert said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:05

    The fact is, no Heartland patriot American could shoot a baby, even amexican one. Only libs are that inhuman. Your projecting again.

  52. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:13

    RWW, i am fully aware of pantloads responsibility for Lib=Nazi I probably was not making myself clear enough.

    The snark quotient is not that high there… one of the reasons I don’t frequent the site. Also, I read a rant by the proprietor castigating his commentariat and decided that he was a bit too authoritarian for my tastes. I guess there’s a kernel of conservative cognition that one can never truly let go of.

    I’ll have to give you a hell yeah on that case. I feel compelled to pass along the latest retort and rejoinder:

    Except that you’re being intellectually dishonest, Provider_UNE. You’re not trying to reconcile anything, you’re only trying to mock.

    You cannot understand something in which your only intention is to mock and ridicule.

    I think the accusation of dishonesty is a stretch, but i will grant you that attempting to shame those that seem not to possess any is a goal. reprehensible bastards that hate with impunity deserve my contempt, and if a framework can be established that helps prevent certain sociopathic attitudes from coming into being, while simultaneously helping gain an appreciation of what spawned them in the first place, looks to me like a win win.

    I apologize if you have taken offence unintended.

    This was apparently unread by the party in question who while responding to another who had stated The internet is very confusing for you, isn’t it? followed with:

    It’s not at all, Omnibus, and please stop stalking me. If you want to engage or understand my point, then just ask.I’m asking Provider what his point is, and he’s not being honest about it. He wants to throw something out there as red meat and then be a hero when he reports back to a couple other websites. He’s not attempting to understand anything, even though he just told me that he was. You can be fine with the mockery, and you apparently are, but don’t try to pass if off as something other than that so that it looks intellectual. That’s called fakery. And fakery is something to be mocked.

    OK, I tried to answer you honestly at comment 56, which either you did not read, or ignored, because it did not fit your preconcieved conjecture.

    I’ll try to make it clear for you. my only goal here is in service of an elaborate gag. I never pretended to be attempting a thesis level acedemic study. i don’t think any reasonable person would have thought I was. Have you looked at the Balloon Juice lexicon?

    If my attempt at using mockery to codify some aspects of wingnuttia, and to use a psuedo scientific method in some way indicates fakery on my part, then I am guilty as charged and you can feel free to ignore me.

    As to accusations of being stalked by arguingwithsignposts, it is but to laugh and suggests that you may be burdened with excess paranoia. As far as my “reports back to a couple of other websites” is concerned (a similar example of paranoia), where I am from that is called collaberation. I had what I thought was an interesting idea, posted it on a couple of sites where I happen to comment a bit and thought that some of the folks here might have some ideas that might help flesh out the gag, or mockery to use your term. I don’t comment here that often, but do lurk quite a bit and so figured that I would not be out of bounds with sharing my idea here, and thankfully that has managed to bear fruit.

    I am sorry if I rained on your lovely Saturday with the attempt to make an elaborate gag on the internets, on a website that trades in mockery, which you apparently revile. If my formula needs a constant for a hot house flower, I may very well call it a Sally.
    .

    Now i’ll grant that not everyone over there is like that which is why i though my gag might be appreciated and i got an assist by someone suggesting that i change the representative of authoritarianism from a Reynolds to a Sullivan, which was exactly what I was after. Omnibus got the gag, Sally was hitting the fauinting couch.

    Gags on the internets, who knew. My favorite bits is about me “reporting back” to of all places here and Roy’s place. I’m of half a mind to set yet another blog up about when internet gags go wrong, or a clearing house to continue working on wingnut physics. Watching Sagan and Burke stimulate an idle mind and a keyboard perched beneath idle hands and some hell breaks loose.
    .

  53. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:15

    I do totally agree about relative snark levels, though. The BJ commentariat does kind of OK with it but doesn’t have the mastery. But they’re much better than, say, FDL.

    This. Also. Too.

    I mean I get being serious from time to time, but without humor or snark, I would rather fucking kill myself. Jeebus H.
    .

  54. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:16

    The fascinating world of cross connection

    Speaking of connections… degrees of separation… while it would be unfair to tie J.T. Ready’s corpse around Mitt’s neck like an albatross, Mitt’s keeping some pretty unsavory companions around.

  55. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:17

    Yes, but he never really acts on it. The trolls there are banned as infrequently as the trolls here, and the regulars say whatever shit they want. You’re right about the kernel of conservatard cognition, but in Cole’s case it appears to be truly vestigial.

    It still left a bad taste in my mouth, the fawning commentariat praising him for it left an even worse taste. Truth to tell, I much prefer the freewheeling, often gonzo, approach here.

  56. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:29

    B^4 – fair to say. I draw the line in a different place, but I think we’re pretty much in agreement.

  57. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:30

    Turns out that my hothouse flower has decided to ignore me and is something of an internet scold and a bit of a tattle tale.

    Perhaps understanding leads to the mocking and ridicule. Cole’s turnaround has proven that, if nothing else.

    Seems it’s lead to Cole being mocked back at Sadly No!, awsp.

    Apparently someone named Big Bad Bald Bastard thinks his turnaround is not complete enough.

    B^4 you have been served

    Of course I could not leave well enough alone:

    As are you honey! By me, on another blog which, like this one, traffics in the mockery of the inane.

    You might be famous by the end of the day.

    Hiya Sally! Why don’t you come in, the waters in these parts is fine.
    .

  58. AWS said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:32

    don’t you people know you don’t cross the streams!

    Personally, I stay at BJ most of the time, and find the snark quotient acceptable. But a diet rich in S,N, LGM, Tbogg and others does a body good. And Sally Rakowski must have gotten her wingnut Paypal account refilled today.

  59. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:39

    I much prefer the freewheeling, often gonzo, approach here.

    Yep. This is one of the reasons I hang here and at the Alicublog. A bunch of smart and funny people riffing on the rediculous. It used to be more like that at the Eschaton, but alot of my favorite peeps moved on.

    I used to read this place and Roy’s on a daily basis, but never bothered with the comments. I was an idiot.

    Imma gonna take a timeout now in penance.
    .

  60. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:48

    Personally, I stay at BJ most of the time, and find the snark quotient acceptable. But a diet rich in S,N, LGM, Tbogg and others does a body good. And Sally Rakowski must have gotten her wingnut Paypal account refilled today.

    BTW, thanks again for the suggestion of the Sullivan and the Recalibration of a Reynolds.

    .

  61. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:49

    Provider- To clarify my point, I was saying Hoft is pathetic for taking Jonah’s equation a priori. He doesn’t need to do the heavy lift of proving it because the wingnuttians already accept it as true. He just moves it forward by suggesting that Nazi equals Occupy, also too without bothering any like, y’know, facts and shit.

  62. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:53

    And if this picture is not conclusive proof that JT Ready was a card carrying Liberal, I could not possibly imagine what other evidence one would need.

    Glommed from one of the B^4 links posted previously. Ready is the cat on the left, which also means Marx, ergo CommyLibSymp.

    I see that preview has gone awol for a bit. hopefully this works.
    .

  63. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 18:57

    That Kobach is a piece of work. but he does possess an IVY league edjumication which means…Liberal.

    Sorry folks I am channeling my inner wingtard in the service of science and an elaborate gag.

    Just to make sure that we are clear on that from the get go.
    .

  64. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:01

    Sometimes after night flying I wake up feeling like I’ve been stomped by bikers. This is one of those times.

  65. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:03

    I think B^4 may be referring to my take on the whole BJ thing.

    FTR, I rather like Balloon Juice and have nothing seriously against either Cole or the commentariat there.

    If I were rate to the commentariat at various liberal sites according to comic genius I’d rate it like this:

    1.) Alicublog (and since many of you post there, I don’t feel I’ve insulted S,N in the least)
    2.) S,N
    3.) Balloon Juice

    Whiskey Fire would certainly get a mention if there were more epic threads like there at the aforementioned places.

    A lot liberal blogs I read are rather humorless…which is fine because it can’t be laughs all the time. And sometimes shit just isn’t funny. I always kinda want to kill myself after reading Hullabaloo, though.

  66. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:04

    Sometimes after night flying I wake up feeling like I’ve been stomped by bikers. This is one of those times.

    WERE you stomped by bikers? Where are your kidneys?!!!!

  67. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:06

    I still don’t know what I did to make them so angry.

  68. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:11

    Apparently someone named Big Bad Bald Bastard thinks his turnaround is not complete enough.

    B^4 you have been served

    The portion is kinda skimpy… it’s not really about the turnaround, it’s about the underlying attitude, which is something that is difficult to change. One cannot completely sublimate one’s authoritarian mindset. I’m not the sort who kowtows to authority figures in real life, why would I choose to involve myself with one on a blog? I’m sorta flattered that someone should bring me up while cross-blog stalking you.

  69. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:12

    He just moves it forward by suggesting that Nazi equals Occupy, also too without bothering any like, y’know, facts and shit.

    xactly, which is waht inspired my psuedoscientific gag in the first place and while at this point while some adjustments to the original formula have changed the unit of stupid in the formula will always be represented by a Hoft (which might be represented in mathematical notation like pi=3).

    I am being attracted to the siren song of a vodka tonic.
    .

  70. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:16

    xactly, which is waht inspired my psuedoscientific gag in the first place

    Oh. When you said “elaborate gag” I thought you meant something else.

  71. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:16

    I think B^4 may be referring to my take on the whole BJ thing.

    Thanks for reminding me… I now feel kinda guilty that I didn’t link to you. I’m still using my antiquated laptop (guy at the shop swears he’ll have my newish one fixed by next week), so I have problems seeing Roy’s place, but I love the commentariat.

    S,N!, though, has the best commenting system (FYWP!), and the threads are easiest to read, so it’s my personal Snark Central.

  72. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:18

    It’s past noon here and I’m hungry. I’m going to “patrol” the parking lot of my local hot-dog joint to see if they’ll give me a freebie.

  73. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:19

    I would visit the comments at Mr. Edroso’s, if he replaced Echo with something people can use.
    .

  74. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:20

    WERE you stomped by bikers? Where are your kidneys?!!!!

    Did you wake up in a bathtub?

    I still don’t know what I did to make them so angry.

    Nobody likes being buzzed by a 747 while riding.

    FTR, I rather like Balloon Juice and have nothing seriously against either Cole or the commentariat there.

    I missed an opportunity for a Colet of Personality joke there.

  75. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:22

    I always kinda want to kill myself after reading Hullabaloo, though.

    I feel you. Digby is one of my favorites though and I’ve probably read 75 percent of what she has written.

    People I miss the most have to be Gilliard and Billmon.

    VS I agree with the first two on your list but would have to slide the TBogg commentariat a notch above BJ. Back in the day Eschaton was filled with snarctresses.
    .

  76. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:23

    I still don’t know what I did to make them so angry.

    You didn’t flip them off did you, cause from what I hear, that will get you a stomping.
    .

  77. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:32

    Pretty much everyone who writes at Hullabaloo is great. The commentariat are so fatalistic , though. Kinda can’t blame them.

    VS I agree with the first two on your list but would have to slide the TBogg commentariat a notch above BJ. Back in the day Eschaton was filled with snarctresses.
    .

    I don’t read Atrios for some reason. I should.

  78. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:36

    Major, you better fess up now if any of the bikers were black or else Pennis will show up to call you a racist and try to get you fired from your job.

  79. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:37

    I’m sorta flattered that someone should bring me up while cross-blog stalking you.

    You should be! You sir have arrived! Would you like your vodka tonic with lemon or lime?

    The idea of being cross-blog stalked does tingle my nethers a bit.

    Now I gotta find out when it is happy hour in Reykjavick, get some tonic water and the sunday booze. I might as well pick up some fresh yeast while I am at it. Roast a chicken…I think I am getting something resembling a plan together.
    .

  80. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:41

    Do get tonic made without HFCS if you can find it.

  81. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:45

    I would visit the comments at Mr. Edroso’s, if he replaced Echo with something people can use.

    JP, echo is a lot more user friendly when it is not getting hammered like a three dollar whore during fleet week, like what happens over at Eschaton. Oddly I find every other instance of disquick seems to work better when only dealing with tens of comments an hour. Never had a problem over at Roy’s joint other than the occasional duplicated comment. All other issues have been of the own goal variety.

    All things considered Haloscan handled those 500 + comment threads admirably in comparison. especially considering the occasional 2-300 comments an hour ones.
    .
    .

  82. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:46

    I would visit the comments at Mr. Edroso’s, if he replaced Echo with something people can use.

    Yeah. It’s horrible. Horrible horrible horrible. I rarely know who’s responding to whom (I mean, I’m not a moron and I figure it out via context, but still), plus it’s just not attractive.

  83. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:48

    You should be! You sir have arrived! Would you like your vodka tonic with lemon or lime?

    I prefer lime, but I’m not that particular… a splash of Becherovka would be nice as well. That reminds me, Bohemian Hall season is upon us.

    Gotta scarper off to work, be back in a few hours.

  84. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:49

    I’m going to “patrol” the parking lot of my local hot-dog joint to see if they’ll give me a freebie.

    The image this puts in my head is making me giggle relentlessly. Best of luck scribe. May a random dog find its way into a random bun which has mysteriously found its way into your hand, after passing through whatever condiments you find most pleasing.

    Do get tonic made without HFCS if you can find it.

    I had a plan and now you have to complicate it? What brand should i look for and what are HFCS’s?
    .

  85. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:53

    Yeah. It’s horrible. Horrible horrible horrible. I rarely know who’s responding to whom (I mean, I’m not a moron and I figure it out via context, but still), plus it’s just not attractive.

    I was weaned on the haloscan which was probably uglier, and was unthreaded, which is why I almost always cite the person I am replying to in italics to avoid said confusion. When all is said and done it really isn’t much different than this unthreaded WP comment system, though this one is easier on the eyes.
    .

  86. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:54

    Becherovka bitters would kick up the joint a notch. dayum.
    .

  87. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:56

    HFCS=high fructose corn syrup I presume?
    .

  88. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 19:58

    though this one is easier on the eyes.
    .

    Sir, I accuse you of UNDERSTATEMENT!

  89. AWS said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:03

    Whiskey Fire would certainly get a mention if there were more epic threads like there at the aforementioned places.
    Co-signed. And Susan of Texas too.

    Atrios is too often sorta Instapunditty with his posts for my tastes. SUPERTRAINS! and Lucky Duckies too. I think the wankers of the decade was about the longest posts I’d ever seen from him.

    And, fwiw, the comments fill up so fast here at times, all the good snark is taken.

  90. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:05

    Sir, I accuse you of UNDERSTATEMENT!

    had I a mouthfull, shit would have been sent spraying through my nose. Thanks for thelaugh my dear.

    It appears that my attempt to find a hfcs free tonic water will lead me down to the co-op. A bit farther than I was planning to travel, though there is a slim chance that the Kroger might have some, and I don’t want to go to the biggest liquor store in town, because it is managed by the Married Lady who I asked for a date (having no idea she was married) two weeks ago and I still feel a bit stupid about that. (what, I’m supposed to look for a rock or something)

    I swear to god, If I wrote an autobiography, half of the shit in there would not be believed…
    .

  91. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:09

    yes, highly fucked-up corn syrup. BevMo carries a couple boutique brands of tonic. Fever Tree and another one called Q something or another. Both are free of HFCS and are in smallish bottles which tend to be pricey. Whole Paycheck also has a store brand in regular 12 ounce pop cans that is also HFCS -free and quite reasonably priced as it goes.

  92. Cerberus said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:11

    A lot liberal blogs I read are rather humorless…which is fine because it can’t be laughs all the time. And sometimes shit just isn’t funny. I always kinda want to kill myself after reading Hullabaloo, though.

    Definitely. There’s a good number of blogs I only read very infrequently and not because they are bad, but because concentrated doses aren’t good for the soul. Manboobz and Shakespeare’s Sister would top that list. Balloon Juice has always been a dichotomy for me. Sometimes I really really like the posters, sometimes they piss me the hell off and the commentariot can vary wildly in quality and are often insufferable, especially when they start getting locked in on the Obama Wars and become completely unable to handle nuance or get lost in “I’m a middle class white guy, but there’s no such thing as privilege and besides I’m real liberalism”.

    Though that’s not to knock other people’s personal tastes and enjoyment levels.

    Not that I get to enjoy many commentariots besides this one anymore. Not that I’m complaining, it’s a good kind of busy and you’re all great snarky bastards and bitches.

  93. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:17

    Thanks RWW,
    Unfortunately we do not have a Whole Paycheck (a moniker that always gets a grin and a giggle) within, hell I am not sure there is one in Indy, though I hear tell of a Trader Joe’s, but that would be 50 miles away at least (and fuck i forgot to get to the farmers market) So I have to hope the Coop has something or that Krogers has some canadian made schweppes or just deal with the regular old.

    The back-up ice cube tray has been re-loaded, the chicken is a thawing, and I have more concerns about the quality of tonic water than i had previously.

    Plus it turns out that Reykjavik is on GMT so in case anyone cares happy hour in Iceland started an hour and 17 minutes ago.

    bbl
    .

  94. RWW said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:26

    Good luck on your endeavors. Canadian Schweppes may be the ticket as well. Dunno. Can’t get that here in Californistan. Will be raising a glass or few myself here come cocktail hour. Beefeater & tonic. Mmmm.

  95. sparks said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:48

    The best thing is for one of the humorless FDL mob to set foot into Tbogg, which happens often enough for entertaining reading while it lasts, which is never very long.

  96. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:55

    I found some of the good shit tonic water wise, and got some kimchi as a bonus. Realized that it is graduation weekend for the local University, which means I will not plan on leaving the house for the rest of the day.

    W00t!
    .

  97. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:55

    Plus it turns out that Reykjavik is on GMT so in case anyone cares happy hour in Iceland started an hour and 17 minutes ago.

    I’ve never felt so short, dark and ugly as the time I spent in Iceland. Everyone there looks like they stepped off a German propaganda poster circa 1940s.

  98. tsam said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:57

    Does anyone else find Jon huntsman’s daughter eerily hot?

    Random dumb question day…

  99. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 5, 2012 at 20:59

    I find this eerily hot. Dots should be loaded with adjectives and D&D creatures though.

  100. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:01

    Everyone there looks like they stepped off a German propaganda poster circa 1940s.

    I wouldn’t have figured they’d be very tall, but the rest makes sense.

    by the way does anybody know if kimchi is supposed to fizz a bit when you first open the bottle. I think if I recal it does go through a fermentation process of sorts, but it did take me a back a bit.
    .

  101. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:02

    Does anyone else find Jon huntsman’s daughter eerily hot?

    pic?
    .

  102. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:05

    I don’t read Atrios for some reason. I should.

    No, not really. You aren’t missing anything, especially by not reading the comments. Back in the day (we’re talking 7 – 10 years ago) he had the greatest band of snarkmeisters commenting on his site, but decided to play faves with the most sycophantic of them and comments soon degenerated into pretty much a non-stop repetition of unfunny kool kid insider jokes, while the original band of snarkmeisters went elsewhere.

    I think comment for comment, roy’s got the sharpest crew these days. Not dissing my fellow Sadlies here, because I see most of you over there as well, but this place has slowed down a good bit from what it was say, 4 or 5 years ago. I ain’t complainin’ because people have their real lives to attend to and Tintin has done yeoman’s work in keeping the place alive, and with Cerebrus posting now there’s more going on than a few months ago, but just sayin’ it’s not as hopping as it was a few years back.

    Balloon Juice is a weird commentariat – I really can’t put my finger on what the deal is there. I comment over there fairly often, and it’s like I’m standing in a closet talking to myself. I think maybe it’s just that they’re more “serious” than I am and don’t love to curse like I do. Haven’t been to Digby’s in quite some time because 1) the concept of brevity hasn’t been heard of round those parts and 2) I find the commentariat a bit depressing. Shakespeare’s Sister? No way. Those of you who remember the epic flamewar on that topic a few years back know why. TBogg I still love, though it sometimes gets infested with backwash from fdl who attempt to snuff all the fun out of everything – to Mr. Bogg’s credit, he regularly tells them to fuck off.

    I pretty much stopped reading Washington Monthly after the blog re-design…don’t know why but then Benen left so I’ve only been by there a few times in the past 6 months. TPM I gave up as completely worthless ever since it’s become the HuffPo, and never had any use for the Great Orange Satan, ever.

  103. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:14

    Oh, and about that picture caption up top? That pose is the least of what’s gone wrong in Hoft’s life. As I like to say, he might as well have “Dumb Motherfucker” tattooed on his forehead, and if you look in the dictionary, you’ll find his picture next to the entry for “duh.” He’s not just the shame of St. Louis – he’s the dumbest guy on the internets, period. Needless to say, I’ve been banned from commenting over there for quite some time.

  104. Another Kiwi said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:16

    New Zealand’s own Tonic Water Good for what ails ye!
    Atrios is too brief for me these days but can still be interesting, and I never got over the orangeness of Kos.
    I likes the sadlies because they are funnier than me.

  105. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:17

    Nice synopsis Jennifer.

    I don’t know if this kimchi is gonna kill me but it is mighty tasty.

    Oh Love Charlie pierce but the dude is almost too prolific, and you cfan only comment over their if you have a face-space account, and Imma not gonna go there.
    .

  106. tsam said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:22

    pic

  107. Another Kiwi said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:23

    It was very funny when Jimbo first published that lame arse photo and then got hammered by his own commentators for acting in an unsafe manner. I remember one lady who said that she owned a shooting range and if he came in she was gonna have his sorry arse kicked out.

  108. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:24

    That pose is the least of what’s gone wrong in Hoft’s life. As I like to say, he might as well have “Dumb Motherfucker” tattooed on his forehead, and if you look in the dictionary, you’ll find his picture next to the entry for “duh.”

    I have been working on some coinage of terms for units to plug into a unified wingnut field theory and the unit for stupidity is a “hoft. A unit of authoritarianism is a “Sullivan” Batshit crazy is a “Geller” “Bolton” or “Bachman”. An “Althouse” was a unit for something that escapes me at the moment, etc.

    As soon as I get a Vodka tonic down, my memory should improve.
    .

  109. tsam said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:26

    Everyone knows that posing with a military rifle proves you have a large penis and women love it!

  110. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:30

    pic

    the link pretended to work and then stayed at googles front page. if the name of the person in question is abby, then i can see why you might take a shine.

    I am really having a hard time not eating the other half of the one pound jar of kimchi that I just bought. That is some good shit.
    .

  111. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:32

    Everyone knows that posing with a military rifle proves…

    Especially when posing with your finger on the trigger while not looking down range. that just proves that premature ejaculation is the other guy’s problem.
    .

  112. creature said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:39

    JT Ready reminded me that most of these ‘Patriot Macho-Man 1%er Tools of Pants-Pissing’ are just Aryan Nation types, without the felony records and (most) of the ‘secret’ tattoos. Hoft looks like the simpleton that he is, and I find much humor in that. I always like that shot of him with the Kommie Kalashnikov. Real patriotic, that.

    I always check out TBogg, S,N!, LGM, Edroso & Pierce for some good stuff. Digby usually has decent, but depressing stuff, but the rabble can be entertaining/infuriating. Lee Papa & JGeneral. Are top-notch sickos, too. I also like that there is a small, but dedicatedly demented community thaty occupies those joints, and others. Kinda like, ‘Hey, you’re tagging that wall? I’ll just work over here, OK? Can I borrow yer blue paint, homes?’

  113. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:45

    Everyone knows that posing with a military rifle proves…

    Attention gun/wingnuts: The war in Afghanistan is winding down. If you want to prove how manly you are, time’s running out.

    I’m pretty sure there’s an app that will find you the nearest military recruiter.

    *crickets*

  114. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:45

    Major, you better fess up now if any of the bikers were black or else Pennis will show up to call you a racist and try to get you fired from your job.

    I only saw references to this, so if anyone can fully explain, I’d be grateful. Thanks in aardvark.
    .

  115. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:48

    I always like that shot of him with the Kommie Kalashnikov. Real patriotic, that.

    And another great thing about the image is that it required not one minute of photo-shop and conveys all of the snide smuggery and blatant idiocy endemic in Hoft with a healthy dollop of overcompensation. And it is clear that he thinks he is too cool for school.

    I mean I have had some pictures taken of me that were less than flattering, wherein I looked everybit the dumbfuck. The difference between me and Hoft is that he will prowdly publish his, but then again on a daily basis he also opens his mouth and removes any doubt that one might have had regarding his lack of intelligence.
    .

  116. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:51

    Never had a problem over at Roy’s joint other than the occasional duplicated comment. All other issues have been of the own goal variety.

    My problem with it, as implemented at alicublog: He’s got it displaying a small number of comments per page. So, on the most-current thread, if someone responds to Comment #4, and I’m on Page Three, reading Comment #24, the only way I will ever see reply to #3 is to go back to the beginning of the thread, and re-read it from the top, down. That is nine kinds of fucked up.

    They only way you can reasonably expect to read all the comments in order is to pick a thread that no one is currently commenting in, and read it… by which time interacting with said comments is pointless.
    .

  117. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:53

    jim, the foolish literalist, not the Hoft, pegged it precisely when that photo first came out, describing it as “Vogueing on the 4th of July.”

  118. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:55

    I only saw references to this, so if anyone can fully explain, I’d be grateful. Thanks in aardvark.

    I think Cerb took out the garbage, but the gist of it is this. It started with an anonymous cat who came by to mention that the driver of the car that hit your friend was black and with braids or somesuch (ooga booga) and implying that somehow we were the real rascists, and the Dennis stopped by within minutes to yammer on accussing VS of being rascist because of a story she had mentioned about a dog. Dennis keeps this up for a bit, gets batted round the head and shoulders a bit by the usual suspects and then dissappeared to find another female target elswhere to bother.

    Kind of like seb/mimi from a while back.
    .

  119. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:56

    JP, that’s funny, I don’t seem to find roy’s setup that hard to follow. That may be just because I’m weird. But there are definitely a lot of commenting systems that suck a lot harder than what roy uses. GOS tops that list for me, though part of the problem there is volume. I’m not in general a fan of nested comment systems and for some reason roy’s doesn’t bother me while GOS’ I find utterly unappealing.

  120. Major Kong said,

    May 5, 2012 at 21:59

    Especially when posing with your finger on the trigger while not looking down range

    It also proves the person knows nothing about proper firearm safety and is probably the last moron on the planet who needs to be handling a Kalashnikov.

  121. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:01

    JP, that’s funny, I don’t seem to find roy’s setup that hard to follow.

    It’s not hard to follow. However, on the current thread, without constantly starting back at Page One and re-reading the thread top-to-bottom over and over again, it’s impossible to know that you saw all the comments. Maybe I’m just anal about seeing all — ALL! — the comments.
    .

  122. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:04

    It started with an anonymous cat who came by to mention that the driver of the car that hit your friend was black and with braids or somesuch (ooga booga) and implying that somehow we were the real racists…

    Yeah, but did someone threaten my job? And… for what, exactly?
    .

  123. Suezboo said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:05

    Provider, we’re cool, dude. Thanks for the info.
    Re blogs : It’s interesting to me to see the revolving gurus emerge. First was Atrios (or maybe Gilliard), then Digby, now Pierce – their Words be Set In Stone and unquestionable.
    I am not into Atrios – just links and Open Threads or Digby, a total downer, but I do respect Pierce as a writer.
    I think Echidne is too often overlooked – great at economic stuff but also only read at weekends because also a depressing person to read all the time.
    Give me snark any day – S,N!, Tbogg, Alicublog, JG and Dependable Renegade are my go-to’s every day – I like my politix to be Fun!

  124. Suezboo said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:08

    PS Almost forgot Doghouse Riley – big fan. He’s so deliciously pissed off.

  125. tsam said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:09

    Is there a way to make safari on iPhone jump to the bottom of a page?

  126. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:13

    That is nine kinds of fucked up.

    I’ll grant you that, but will still take echo over disquick any day of the week. and given the quality of the commenting over there and the fact that threads rarely if ever hit a 150 comments, i don’t mind flipping back and forth if I have to. Plus the pace is nothing like over at the blue satan. I imagine that I read each thread at Roy’s probably about three times and sometimes find that I missed something and am glad that I caught it on the next way round. Or if i didn’t miss it the first time, I have come up with a proper rejoinder the second or third time around.

    I do miss haloscan, but FYWP as implimented in these parts is pretty much the same.

    If I could lead the design team for a commenting system I would start with something that could handle 300 comments an hour for three or four hours straight. display all the comments on one page, give one the option of nested or whatnot with a shot of soda and a cherry on top.

    i have definitely found myself moving into get off my yard territory with respect to having any enthusiasm toward learning new ways of getting around buggy bullshit, which is why I resisted actually logging into disquick for the longest time.

    Ahhh commenting systems, If we couldn’t complain about them, we’d have only the wingnuts.

    Jeff, I think you’d have a blast at Roy’s, i would maybe get his rss feed so that you could get an early start and watch the thread grow from there and snark away. This place and Roy’s are my favorite sand boxen. I think we both enjoy hanging with peeps that are smarter and funnier than we are, and while I often amuse the shit outta myself, when I ring a snarkmasters bell, well, that just makes for a hell of a day.
    :)

    We’ve had to’ve known each other for what, 8 years now. Wow. time on the internets moves quickly.
    .

  127. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:15

    If I could lead the design team for a commenting system I would start with something that could handle 300 comments an hour for three or four hours straight. display all the comments on one page, give one the option of nested or whatnot with a shot of soda and a cherry on top.

    I understand it is ugly, but have you seen what I use at the catblog?
    .

  128. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:18

    We’ve had to’ve known each other for what, 8 years now. Wow. time on the internets moves quickly.

    Yessir — eight years of online bliss. :)
    .

  129. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:21

    … online THREADED bliss, FYJP!
    .

  130. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:22

    “Vogueing on the 4th of July.”

    That is fucking Brill. Sad thing is, i remember that thread, was reading the front page on a regular basis, but couldn’t seem to find the time to get into the comments. A mistake which I have corrected, though much later than i should have. Same with Roys place, a daily read or I should say a daily check to see if something new is up. In both cases I come to find that the commentariat of both places was well worth the price of entry. :)

    And Jennifer, I have said before that you are one of my favorite commenters on the interwebs on a previous occasion or three*, but would definitely nominate you for a Koufax for best commenter if the award was still around.

    *only repeating this ’cause i was never certain that you caught it (my undying platonic admiration for your mad skills that is).

    .

  131. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:25

    Here ya go, tsam.

  132. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:28

    Is there a way to make safari on iPhone jump to the bottom of a page?

    I’ve found no way to make my Android phone’s browser do this, so when I come to S,N! using the phone, I leave it tee3nsy, in “portrait” orientation, and flick-scroll it a time or three. Then, I embiggen.
    .

  133. N__B said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:34

    It also helps to click on a comment date every so often, so that refreshes bring you down to there.

  134. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:35

    I understand it is ugly, but have you seen what I use at the catblog?

    You must have missed my comments congratulating you on your new employment. Yeah, i have seen 42, think that Dirk Gently wrote it and it seems like it works pretty well. As far as appearence is concered I go back and forth on whether I like the old unix like icon set, which wouldn’t be difficult to change/update to sexier forms. Not sure about flash as the vehicle though, and would love to see it tested in one of those thousand comment in three hour type threads that would occasionally pop up at Eschaton.

    I really like that it seems to implement a bunch of options regarding functionality (though possibly too many, but hey I like to hack shit and I did figure out how to apply the millionth monkey’s client side .css hack haloscan hijacker killer to the server, saving countless hours of time trying to explain to people how to drop a .css file into their browser, which remains possibly my biggest contribution to the blogsphere)

    With a little redesign 42 could look great, but i dont know enough about flash and we are still talking about a proprietary system. Obviously I’d be in favor of an open source solution.

    I wonder how many people i put to bed with that comment. time to make another drink.

    The 7 dollar bottle of tonic water sweetened with agave, flavored with natural bitters and hand picked quinine is rocking the house FWIW.
    .

  135. sally said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:41

    Seven bucks for tonic water.

    Why are you begging for money on your blog, P_UNE?

  136. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:42

    You must have missed my comments congratulating you on your new employment.

    Naw; I’ve just slept since then. :)

    Yeah, i have seen 42, think that Dirk Gently wrote it and it seems like it works pretty well. As far as appearence is concered I go back and forth on whether I like the old unix like icon set, which wouldn’t be difficult to change/update to sexier forms. Not sure about flash as the vehicle though, and would love to see it tested in one of those thousand comment in three hour type threads that would occasionally pop up at Eschaton.

    We did a test one night early on, and got scores of people beating on it. IIRC, we got over 700 comments on one thread, and it performed beautifully. If you close the comment window and re-open a big thread, there’s a performance hit on that reload… but it’s pretty minor, and if you stay in the thread, you’ll never see it.
    .
    .

  137. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:43

    It also proves the person knows nothing about proper firearm safety and is probably the last moron on the planet who needs to be handling a Kalashnikov.

    Now that i think about it that may have been one of the first S.N! comment threads i remember reading and the excoriation of the idiotfor exactly that was legendary. I also seem to remember jumping off the boat to witness the fact that half of his commentariat were jumping him for the same reason.

    It was one of those wierd times when we were in accord. But jeebus H. That picture is the one i always keep in my head when trying to explain to people who think that if everyone had guns we’d all be safer as i launch into my accidental discharge in a movie theatre and how many will get out unscathed rant.
    .

  138. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:45

    Damn, Provider, you gonna give me a swollen noggin.

    Though it’s nice that a few folks appreciate my additions to the discourse, which helps me internally justify the huge amount of time I spend on blogs. You know what’s funny is, I always felt like I didn’t belong anywhere until I went to college, because I ended up studying with a lot of other geeks interested in the same shit I was. Then I graduated, and again, was surrounded most of the time by people who made me feel like an alien. Then the internets were invented by algore, and since then, I’ve been able to find lots of like-minded weirdos to surround myself with once again. And you’re one of them!

    We’ve known each other online for about the same amount of time as you’ve known JP now, and I’ve known JP for about as long as well. While the whole online thing isn’t the same as college was, it’s really a daily boost to be able to communicate with like-minded folks. I mean, I live in ARKANSAS for god’s sake; if the internets hadn’t been invented by algore, I would have either had to move or kill myself years ago, because I am so out-of-step with at least 80% of the people I encounter on a daily basis. Alienation is kind of the typical setting for me, but you can only take so much of it unless you have a relief valve with people who you don’t feel alienated from. So thanks for not making me feel alienated, people!

  139. drifter said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:45

    So, on the most-current thread, if someone responds to Comment #4, and I’m on Page Three, reading Comment #24, the only way I will ever see reply to #3 is to go back to the beginning of the thread, and re-read it from the top, down. That is nine kinds of fucked up.

    Maybe only three kinds. I don’t mind going back. Just skim what I’ve read already; find new delicacies. It’s worth it.

  140. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:45

    We did a test one night early on, and got scores of people beating on it. IIRC, we got over 700 comments on one thread, and it performed beautifully.

    Awesome! do you remember the timeframe? A couple of hours or 6? Just curious.
    .

  141. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:48

    Maybe only three kinds. I don’t mind going back. Just skim what I’ve read already; find new delicacies. It’s worth it.

    If he’d leave it all on one page, I could live with it. They way it is right now, no.
    .

  142. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 22:49

    Awesome! do you remember the timeframe? A couple of hours or 6? Just curious.

    Seems to me it was about three hours one night.
    .

  143. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:00

    Nope. It was 601 comments, with most coming in the first four hours, but a few dribbling in for three more hours or so. So not as big a trial-by-fire as I had remembered. However, knowing dirk’s skillz, it can handle it, so long as the hosting service doesn’t go tits up (and it has, maddeningly, from time to time, often just for a few seconds at a time… REPEATEDLY).
    .
    .

  144. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:02

    And you’re one of them!

    Thank you. I mean that.

    I feel you sis, I live in south central Indiana and while I have the pleasure of living in the shadow of a decently sized Big Ten school and in the only town in the state worth living, I find far to often that I meet the smart ones about three months to a year before they are ready to depart to greener pastures. I was blessed to grow up in a neighborhood where all of the kids were smart (sons and daughters of professors/heads of departments and whatnot, and as time passed on people started moving on and the circle got extremely smalland while I have no trouble meeting and engaging with people, the energy required to forge significant relationships takes time and having to do it over and over and over again gets old. So I feel you about the alienation.

    I have never been happier to discover the intertrons and the fact that i can find spaces where I am not the smartest or funniest guy in the room, where I can challenge and more importantly, be challenged by brilliant people. There have been dark times, and if I had to face the last admisistration without the Goreternet a bullet to the head might have been an option, that or death in a hail of bullets responding to my pitchfork charge (the romantic in me prefers the latter option) :)

    I have to tell you that i missed you when you decided to leave Eschaton and understand fully your reasons for doing so. I am happy to have found you again. :)
    .

  145. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:04

    A lot liberal blogs I read are rather humorless…which is fine because it can’t be laughs all the time.

    True enough – though it’s kind of sad that one of the humorless ones IMO is Gin and Tacos, run by a guy who claims to be a comedian. And after the amount of Get Off My Lawnery the guy posts I was gobsmacked to find he’s in his early 30s.

  146. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:06

    I can think of few consumable combinations worse than gin and tacos. Then again, I think gin tastes like a pine tree.
    .

  147. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:07

    Nope. It was 601 comments…

    IIRC, this was a night when Echo had completely shit the bed.
    .

  148. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:11

    Seems to me it was about three hours one night.

    That’s what i’m talking about. Too bad Atrios wasn’t interested. It would have been trivial to address any attractivness concerns, as long as it could handle the traffic. Oh well. I must say that I am happy to see that you have it as a going concern.

    One thing I have to say about my love for haloscan was that I learned I could hack the shit out of it. before they sold out to echo, I has comment boxes that looked just like my blog, blockquoting, the whole nine yards.

    I know that flash is not that complicated, and realy in this case serves as a delivery vector. Do you think that Dirk might lend me a license so I could bolt it to one of my gag blogs for the purpose of hackety?
    .

  149. tsam said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:12

    Thanks VS! Luv ya!

  150. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:12

    Oh and Suezboo, cool. if you followed the link, i hope you found it helpful.
    .

  151. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:14

    Arent the ponies about to start?
    .

  152. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:16

    I know that flash is not that complicated, and realy in this case serves as a delivery vector. Do you think that Dirk might lend me a license so I could bolt it to one of my gag blogs for the purpose of hackety?

    Flash is a complete fuckin’ mystery, to me. I learned enough about it in the Stone Age to be scared to learn more. :) dirk’s a reasonable dood. Let me see if I have your e-mail (I feel certain I do), and I’ll shoot dirk’s to you.

    The ugly? Can definitely be fixed. I drew up some prototypes in Photoshop to show dirk, but since there was so little interest in the product, so to speak, he thought it would be a waste of his time to tart it up until someone recognized how great the thang works, first. I say you sometimes have to have the sizzle before people smell the steak, but it’s his baby, and I am certainly not gonna force him to carry it to term. ;)
    .
    .

  153. bbkf said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:18

    I may very well call it a Sally.

    why are you going to call me?

  154. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:19

    why are you going to call me?

    You can call… me… Al.
    .

  155. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:21

    The fact is, the arrest of 5 Occupy Cleveland protestors in the process of destroying a bridge means that all Occupy movement is now with terrorists and should be illegal. If you were ever supporting Occupiers you now belong in jail.

  156. bbkf said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:22

    And Sally Rakowski must have gotten her wingnut Paypal account refilled today.

    is there srsly someone with this name?

  157. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:27

    Jennifer, I think that’s what kept me away from Atrios before. The posts just didn’t seem particularly substantive.

  158. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:27

    Big news, peeps! I’m once again “allowed” to comment at Hoft’s asylum.

  159. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:29


    So not as big a trial-by-fire as I had remembered. However, knowing dirk’s skillz, it can handle it, so long as the hosting service doesn’t go tits up (and it has, maddeningly, from time to time, often just for a few seconds at a time… REPEATEDLY).

    Good enuf for gubmint work. And of course exchanging a 3 nines host with a 7 nines one. :)
    .

  160. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:30

    We’ve known each other online for about the same amount of time as you’ve known JP now, and I’ve known JP for about as long as well. While the whole online thing isn’t the same as college was, it’s really a daily boost to be able to communicate with like-minded folks. I mean, I live in ARKANSAS for god’s sake; if the internets hadn’t been invented by algore, I would have either had to move or kill myself years ago, because I am so out-of-step with at least 80% of the people I encounter on a daily basis. Alienation is kind of the typical setting for me, but you can only take so much of it unless you have a relief valve with people who you don’t feel alienated from. So thanks for not making me feel alienated, people!

    I’m from Arkanas, too, but grew up in the godless liberal bastion of Fayetteville. Not a whole lotta wingnuts there. More than a few hippies, though. I love that place.

  161. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:31

    vs – they aren’t. Most of his own posts are either just links or links with “heh, indeed” attached, or at least they were last time I checked in. He’s had some good guest bloggers over the years, but they all end up setting up their own blogs. I have no idea who’s writing anything over there since I haven’t been there in years.

  162. Jennifer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:35

    I went to college in Fayetteville, so yeah…see why college has such fond memories? I lived about 3 blocks off Dickson Street, and across the street from campus. You know it’s gotten gentrified all to hell up there, right? The Waltons turned Dickson into what Disney turned Times Square into. Springdale, Rogers, Bentonville – they’ve all exploded in the past 20 years. There’s as many folks living up there now as in the Little Rock metro. Fayetteville maintains some of its liberal crunchy vibe, but it’s surrounded by a sea of teabaggers.

  163. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:35

    Good enuf for gubmint work. And of course exchanging a 3 nines host with a 7 nines one. :)

    Well, it’s completely standard for a hosting provider — nuttin’ special needed, and easily upgraded to scale to whatever volume of traffic is necessary. I have a feeling the host now is fairly low-ball, and STILL it operates very, very well. A more serious host would be better for a high-traffic site, sure.

    A lot of people are completely put off by the ugliness and apparent complexity of it, but if you cover the left side of it with your hand, and fill in the stock-standard name/e-mail/[optional]URL fields, check “remember me,” and type a comment and publish, it works just like everything else out there, really. The troll filter is the best, bar none. The option of toggling between chronological order and nested thread? Magnifique! Choice of fonts? Also cool (but limited so as to keep it speedy).
    .

  164. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:36

    True enough – though it’s kind of sad that one of the humorless ones IMO is Gin and Tacos, run by a guy who claims to be a comedian. And after the amount of Get Off My Lawnery the guy posts I was gobsmacked to find he’s in his early 30s.

    I get that. I enjoy alot of his work, which is one of my weekly or bi weekly reads. There is a bit of hot and cold with the guy. he went to school in my hometown which i only discovered after he got a new gig. I would have liked to meet him in meatspace over a couple of ales though.

    As Suezboo mentioned, doghouse riley is brilliant and lives 50 odd miles up the road in Indianapolis. He has a standing invitation for beer on my dime anytime he manages to make it to town.

    Driftglass is also a wonderful writer.

    Sadly, none of the folks mentioned are making the Brooksian or Willian bucks and they can write circles around them all.
    .

  165. alec said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:38

    It also proves the person knows nothing about proper firearm safety and is probably the last moron on the planet who needs to be handling a Kalashnikov.

    Better if he were holding an Armalite: an expensive, high-strung show-piece financed by American taxpayers to the exclusive benefit of rich shitwipes and foreign tyrants.

    He could put it on his coat of arms – you know, when he makes the honors list.

  166. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:40

    I lived about 3 blocks off Dickson Street, and across the street from campus.

    Oh that’s weird. I lived close to Dickson, too. I did not know anything in Fayetteville had been gentrified. Everything looked like same old Fayetteville to me. Except the square…which looked great. Really charming at xmas.

  167. vacuumslayer said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:41

    Hey, if anyone’s interested, I have a post up at Whiskey Fire about this guy who wrote a bothsidesdoit book called “The Righteous Mind.”

  168. alec said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:53

    It sure is convenient when a pop version of evo-psych confims exactly what you and millions of other smuggos already believed about human beings, right? Sure does tie everything up in a nice little bow, with Science.

    What a maroon.

  169. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 5, 2012 at 23:54

    is there srsly someone with this name?

    At least there is on the intertrons, And i think that he is attempting to bait me.

    Ha fucking ha. see comment @ 22:41.

    [swallowing bait, spitting out hook]

    Sweetheart, It is my birthday week, and regardless of my penurious condition, I decided to treat myself to a proper drink, and baby, it has been tasty as in delicious, and my shiftless lazy and currently unemployed black ass has enjoyed a taste of the good stuff.

    I am sure that Fenwick (where the fuck is he anyway) who contributed to my situation would approve.

    Find a new line of work my friend. I am smarter than you even in my currently (damn that’s a well mixed cocktail) mildly buzzed and therefor more shiftless and lazy state.

    I will however admit that I have yet to have an internet stalker before. I guess i have finally arrived. that or most of you were smart enough not to bother. Thanks for the Birthday gift Sally.

    Pretending to be a lady on the internets=bad form. Like I said, you might wish to examine another line of work.
    .

  170. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:00

    A lot of people are completely put off by the ugliness and apparent complexity of it, but if you cover the left side of it with your hand, and fill in the stock-standard name/e-mail/[optional]URL fields, check “remember me,” and type a comment and publish, it works just like everything else out there, really. The troll filter is the best, bar none. The option of toggling between chronological order and nested thread? Magnifique! Choice of fonts? Also cool (but limited so as to keep it speedy).

    You have got me soled. I would love to see if I could add some sweat equity sizzle to that particular steak Plus it might give my “female” stalker something to sharpen her claws on whilst helping to test it out.
    .
    .

  171. AWS said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:05

    The problem with Flash now is that it doesn’t work on iDevices.

  172. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:07

    The problem with Flash now is that it doesn’t work on iDevices.

    Sux to be an iDevice, dunnit? ;)

    FortyToo has a default-to-text feature for stupid machines (like the ones at work that don’t have Flash Player due to adminazis). It is not as full-featured, but still as- or more-usable than Echo or Disqus.
    .

  173. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:09

    You have got me soled.

    Dammit, JIm! I’m a doctor, not a cobbler!

    You have the Gmail.
    .

  174. AWS said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:19

    @JP – I said that was the problem with Flash *now*. Leaving aside all the other myriad problems with the damned software since Adobe got its bloatware-creating hands on Macromedia.

    If you want to piss all over the millions of people who use iDevices, be my guest.

    And as regards echo or discursed, I agree. Discursed is a few steps up from echo, though, at least the few times I’ve seen echo used, mostly an edroso’s place and one other which I forget atm.

  175. gaz (toaster pastry) said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:20

    I got out of the boat. It was awful. I did it for you guys.

  176. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:23

    If you want to piss all over the millions of people who use iDevices, be my guest.

    Well, I didn’t write — couldn’t have written — FortyToo. But the fact that dirk gently (who DID write it) made a fallback provision for non-Flash devices tells me he didn’t particularly wish to micturate on anyone’s particular parade. Not even hipsters. ;)
    .

  177. paleotectonics said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:33

    Mop? Check.
    Bucket? Check.
    End of supper/reading thread/convinced Gateway Boy couldn’t unfold kleenex? Check.

    Off to find ‘water issues’, and some old man in a speedboat, sounded like Sean Connery. Pbbbffllttt!

  178. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:33

    Crap it appears that i have tagfailed once again.

    Sorry bbkf.
    .

  179. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:35

    Thank you sir,

    I was busy the last few momentiles discussing dinner options with the roomie and got the rice started.

    I’ll give Dirk a yell and we will see what happens. Give the boys some cinco de mayo love for me.
    :)
    .

  180. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:36

    I am being mercilessly teased about the impending switch to Discus 2012, globally, over at Atrios’ joint. Life is not fair.
    .

  181. Smut Clyde said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:37

    in case anyone cares happy hour in Iceland started an hour and 17 minutes ago
    With the price of alcohol there, they only have Unhappy hours.

    I don’t know if this kimchi is gonna kill me
    Mythbusters episode!

  182. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:39

    Hey, if anyone’s interested, I have a post up at Whiskey Fire about this guy who wrote a bothsidesdoit book called “The Righteous Mind.”

    Let me fix that for you.

    One of the three should make it past the goalie.
    :)
    .

  183. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:41

    Mythbusters episode!

    Thanks for the laff. I am apparently still alive, and the kimchi was fantastic, though I am not certain that i am out of the woods at this point.
    :)
    .

  184. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:48

    I got out of the boat. It was awful. I did it for you guys.

    Yet it would appear that you not only failed to retrieve any mangoes, you neglegted to ferment any that were found and bring the sweet and succulent drink back to the boat with you.

    How do we handle this type of infraction in these parts?

    I don’t feel like i have been around long enough to make a call in this particular case.
    TIA.
    .

  185. wiley said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:57

    Just looked through the comments at Hoft’s place. One brave Toaster, but no mangoes; just a lot of dirty diapers and a few candidates for going postal. These people hate “liberals”. It seems that the effect of deciding that Hitler and the Third Reich were “socialist” and “liberal” is that these people fool themselves into thinking that they are the polar opposite of fascism and are diligently fighting it, even as they cultivate it in their worldview.

    Jonah Goldberg is a wart on the ass of humanity.

  186. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:01

    Am I the only one who thinks Sacha baron Cohen is an unfunny douchenozzle?

  187. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:04

    Am I the only one who thinks Sacha baron Cohen is an unfunny douchenozzle?

    Nope!

  188. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:08

    Also SBC’s act can pretty much be summed up as Zionist paranoia expressed via over-broad spoofs. (All ‘em eurofaggits ‘n A-rabs ‘n chavvies ‘n A-rabs ‘n A-rabs is conspirin’ against me!) The first trailer for “The Dictator” kind of made me want to vomit.

    The fact that he’s evidently looking to explicitly tie it in to Adenoid Hynkel elevates it from shit to travesty, though.

  189. Smut Clyde said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:11

    How does Drummer Hoft deal with the “staunch, actively-involved Republican” component of Ready’s liberalism?

    For a billion years multicellular organisms have been hatching and spawning and dying, slowly evolving a dim form of intelligence, all culminating in the large-ish brain in Mr Hoft’s head that he is using to convince other bald social primates that something he knows is a lie is in fact true.
    I have a sad now.

  190. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:24

    Ahhhhh yes good ol’ days at Eschaton – makes me all nostalgicky for Merkin Patriot.

    http://merkinpatriot.blogspot.com/

    I know, I haven’t wasted enuf time on the Intertubez lately. Have forgotten how to linky. Truly Pathetic.

  191. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:29

    Glad I’m not the only one. I think his so called comedy is exactly what Alec’s link called it-being a douchy troll. I imagine his fans are the same kind of people. People who whistle, knowingly cut in line, block the isles of the grocery store, post right wing blogs…

  192. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:36

    tsam, are we talking about the same Merkin Patriot? The one I’m thinking of was a brilliant parody troll, Steven Colbert style. Some of his best lines didn’t even make it into the fan club site.

    But yeah I imagine his fans that took him seriously would be be just that way. :)

  193. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:38

    No, I was talking about Sacha baron Cohen. I find him to be a gigantic hairy pos.

  194. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:39

    Oh, oops, er sorry. (Slinks away to sit in corner). Yeah what you said re Sacha baron Cohen.

  195. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 1:49

    No need for slinking!

  196. Smut Clyde said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:10

    Hand-waving away the monstrous creation.

  197. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:10

    I still read Eschaton and Hullabaloo daily, but have long since stopped reading their respective comments, for different reasons. (I have no consistent nym over ten years, BTW.)

    Eschaton’s commentariat seemed like a circle jerk hangout with neither the snark nor substance to make we wanna lurk or comment any longer.

    Hullabaloo gets some great substantive comments, plus more dopey ones (including on my side of any given issue) than you’d find, say, here. That’d be no problem, but I get tired of being censured by other commenters. I’m off-topic, too unserious or snarky, etc. — matters of style. Good god who gives a fuck. I don’t troll, but I’m not running for office, either; I obey my whims. I guess as long as Hullabaloo has lotsa readers, there will be a tedious selection of concerned citizens up in there.

  198. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:12

    . I imagine his fans are the same kind of people. People who whistle, knowingly cut in line, block the isles of the grocery store, post right wing blogs…

    You imagine wrong. Fan here. He’s great, though not uniformly.

  199. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:15

    gaz (toaster pastry) said,

    May 6, 2012 at 0:20

    I got out of the boat. It was awful. I did it for you guys.

    You did a yeoman’s job, dear gaz, pull up a deck chair as soon as you get out of quarantine.

  200. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:16

    You imagine wrong. Fan here. He’s great, though not uniformly.

    I’ve only seen Borat, I guess, and some clips where he’s spoofing on someone. I find no urge to re-watch Borat, but I got a couple of chuckles out of it.
    .

  201. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:21

    Ron Paul vs. Bruno was fun.

  202. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:27

    The thing about Borat was that the funniest parts were the scripted ones. Sasha’s fine when he’s making people look foolish, but he’s far funnier when he’s just being the talented comedian he is.

  203. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:34

    You imagine wrong.

    Nuh uh.

  204. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:44

    Also SBC’s act can pretty much be summed up as Zionist paranoia expressed via over-broad spoofs.

    While I will admit to enjoying bits of the Ali G show, and getting a larf or three at Borat, cohen is working land that was fertilized by the South park boys, who were never remotely funny in my mind. Probably cause they reminded me of some of the snide privileged fuckwits who had more money than smarts that i grew up with.

    I do have many friends that would beg to differ, but we have made it to the agree to disagree island.
    .
    .

  205. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:47

    Also SBC’s act can pretty much be summed up as Zionist paranoia expressed via over-broad spoofs.

    Except that it can’t be.

  206. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:53

    Rosebudder, thanks for the link the merkin Patriot. While I think I was one of the first to recognize his parodic genius (as in “wait, this guy isn’t a troll, he’s a brilliant comedian”) I never did find out who the cat was.

    I genuflect in his honor, and appreciate that Moe Syzlac (An eschatonian regular) did what i failed to do which was to compile the shit you linked to.

    That bastard was resonsible for the destruction of at least one keyboard of mine via the nasal atomization of shit which had previously occupied my mouth ultimately leading to my rule number one: Thall shalt swallow before reading.

    Ahh the memories.
    .

  207. Concerned Democrat said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:53

    Isn’t it time we had a serious talk about “Gun” “Safety”?

  208. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 2:59

    The thing about Borat was that the funniest parts were the scripted ones.

    Was that when he unloosed the chicken from the suitcase on the subway in NYC? ’cause I will say that was one of the funniest things I have seen in the last decade. That shit was right up my alley.

    I’ll cop to hanging out in strange places and having a somewhat off kilter sense of humor, but that shit was genius.
    .

  209. RWW said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:00

    JP, there was no threat per se. Just Pennis using your situation with your friend’s accident to make another lame flail at actor212. His BS got stomped on rather quickly and definitively here by others. Sorry I snarked on it actually.

  210. SlayerOfStrawmen™ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:04

    Isn’t it time we had a serious talk about “Gun” “Safety”?

    Certainly. 50-75 concealed carry cats walk into a theatre to check out Ranbo 6. There is an accidental discharge. Two questions: 1) How many leave alive? 2) How many walk out unscathed?

    .

  211. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:05

    While I will admit to enjoying bits of the Ali G show, and getting a larf or three at Borat, cohen is working land that was fertilized by the South park boys, who were never remotely funny in my mind. Probably cause they reminded me of some of the snide privileged fuckwits who had more money than smarts that i grew up with.

    Jesus yes. Thank you. Smug goddamn Front Range pricks, if I wanted that shit I’d hang out with the momos in my high school forever.

    Except that it can’t be.

    Chav with an Arab name, European homosexual with a barely-repressed love for Hitler, hi-larious post-Soviet anti-Semite, hi-larious dictatorial anti-Semite… it’s almost as though he’s drawn to a specific topic??

    Seriously, while I was simply kind of uninterested in his original act (I didn’t care for a lot of the Daily Show either; stupid people saying stupid things to a corpsing interviewer just doesn’t do it for me, regardless of politics), now he has guaranteed box-office gross his primary interest seems to be wounding the imagined enemies of AIPAC (or I guess whatever answers for AIPAC in the UK?) with his hi-larious burlesque. More power to him, except no, less power to him. Boo! Booooo!

    Isn’t it time we had a serious talk about “Gun” “Safety”?

    POUFFFFFFFFT UM PEIDO (O OSCAR POR MELHOR MIXAGEM DE SOM)

  212. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:06

    I’ll bite.
    .

  213. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:11

    Time to watch The Wire.

  214. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:15

    That’s your price. That’s the price that you were going to quote me. Well, you feel that, Mikey? Well, you feel it? Because I swear to God that’s my dick in your ear. / Oh, that’s nice. / Hang on, you fucking thief.

  215. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:16

    My Roomie just knocked on the door to tell me that the dinner I whipped up was the best meal he has had all week. And it was all Iron Chef like. I called audibles at just about every turn.

    To be3 honest it was the best i had all week as well. An aside, My Roomie can cook. Earlier as i was handing him a plate he said: ” I went to sleep for a bit and felt like i woke up in a restaraunt”

    And according to the S.N! timestamp, in paris my birthday is only three days away.

    W00t!

    I miss that bastard as well.
    .

  216. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:23

    Chav with an Arab name, European homosexual with a barely-repressed love for Hitler, hi-larious post-Soviet anti-Semite, hi-larious dictatorial anti-Semite… it’s almost as though he’s drawn to a specific topic??

    Yeah and the way that French guy went on and on about Israel in “Ricky Bobby.” Man, I hated that.

    Yes, Sasha pokes fun at anti-Semitism. He’s the only Jewish comedian to do that ever.

  217. RWW said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:30

    Funny Republican fail last night on Bill Maher. He played the clip of Newt saying Obama is the most radical leftist ever to hold the presidency. Larfs all around and Maher then asked the panel how that could possibly be when O is right of Reagan in certain respects relative to today’s politics. The Republican shill then started shrieking about the health care mandate and how that is so radical it is before the SCOTUS to determine its constitutionality! Maher and Ed Schultz then matter of factly noted that the mandate was a Republican idea from the Bob Dole era and Lawrence Wilkerson chimed in that Harry Truman called for real socialized national healthcare in 1948. Lincoln, Jefferson, Wilson, FDR. Sputter, sputter..but..but..but. She would have been better off just sticking with “Obama pals around with Bill Ayers” to make her case or admitting that Obama is almost as liberal as Richard Nixon.

  218. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:31

    Nevermind the obvious affection he has for the characters he plays, despite their anti-Semitism. It’s weird people get Zionist from that. I’ve always gotten the exact opposite impression.

  219. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:35

    I really do have a favorite cat. I tell him, allatime.
    .

  220. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:41

    Yes, Sasha pokes fun at anti-Semitism. He’s the only Jewish comedian to do that ever.

    Well, mostly they poke fun at anti-Semitism as opposed to The New Anti-Semitism™. The difference is that Hitler mattered and Gadhaffi and Karl Lagerfeld do not.

    More broadly, the ideology behind denunciation/deflation of TNAS is aligned with American imperial power. He’ll make fun of Austrians and Kazakhs and chavs but God forbid Ukrainians show up because their wingnutty synagogue-spraypainters are useful idiots in our existential war with Russia instead of useful idiots in Iran’s existential war with Likud’s imagination.

    I just get this sort of greasy, gassy, indigestiony feeling when the people some comedy man hates all add up to a common trajectory which they aren’t open or honest about. (And let’s leave aside that as a Brit Baron-Cohen is as Jewish as I am, i.e. not precisely Mel Brooks. It’s less that he’d be a target under a fourth reich and more that identifying himself that way gives him a little thrill of importance at what a victim his pasty well-off ass is.)

    He’s a foreign, less stultifyingly unfunny James O’Keefe.

  221. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:43

    Nevermind the obvious affection he has for the characters he plays, despite their anti-Semitism

    That’s just humanity. I mean, towards the end Thompson seemed to care more about Nixon’s ghost than any living human being. If there’s no more contempt for familiarity to breed, all it’s got left to breed is love.

  222. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:45

    I enjoyed Borat well enough, but it left me with no desire to see his followup. Bruno or whatever. I dunno if it’s an indictment of Borat that I should feel that way.

  223. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:49

    Leaving aside the extraordinarily pretentious contention of it..I never found James O’Keefe particularly funny.

  224. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:49

    Hengh hengh manbearpig manbearpig hennnngh.

  225. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:52

    Also, I didn’t know you had to be an Eddie Murphy take on old Jewish dudes to be authentically Jewish. I mean, lotsa guys who arent Jackie mason still qualify as Jewish.

  226. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:52

    Leaving aside the extraordinarily pretentious contention of it..

    I just calls them costumed dummy-actors as I sees them costumed dummy-actors.

    I never found James O’Keefe particularly funny.

    I did say less stultifyingly unfunny. Baron-Cohen is capable of a joke besides “ha ha, look at how stupid and venal my enemies are!!”, it’s just that increasingly he no longer wishes to tell one. Oppose O’Keefe, who couldn’t if he tried. (And also thinks date-rape on a boat is the hottest shit ever.)

  227. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:55

    And also thinks date-rape on a boat is the hottest shit ever.

    Or in his parents’ barn.
    .

  228. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:56

    I really do have a favorite cat. I tell him, allatime.

    You knew i’d hit that. I love Larry dearly, and in objective terms he is a fantastically beautiful beast, tho not quite as beuatiful as my beloved Ptolemy who might be the prettiest cat in the history of catdom, and smart as a whip bytheby, but Curley reminds me so much of my dearly departed Kitainy Yevshenky and seems to have a nearly identical disposition that he is the favorite of your two to me as well.

    Love his expression in that pic also.
    .

  229. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:56

    I did say less stultifyingly unfunny

    Yes you did. Sorry.

  230. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 3:58

    Did i stumble into the Catskills or something?
    .

  231. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:00

    You knew i’d hit that. I love Larry dearly, and in objective terms he is a fantastically beautiful beast, tho not quite as beuatiful as my beloved Ptolemy who might be the prettiest cat in the history of catdom, and smart as a whip bytheby, but Curley reminds me so much of my dearly departed Kitainy Yevshenky and seems to have a nearly identical disposition that he is the favorite of your two to me as well.

    Curly’s just a marshmallow of love. Larry is somewhat pushy and obnoxious, much of the time.
    .

  232. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:00

    Also, I didn’t know you had to be an Eddie Murphy take on old Jewish dudes to be authentically Jewish. I mean, lotsa guys who arent Jackie mason still qualify as Jewish.

    Brits are kind of a special case, though. With a few, mainly old and foreign exceptions, they’re culturally indistinguishable from WASPs over there, and don’t really want to be culturally distinct – there’s less hand-wringing about a culture under siege and less obessive observance of arbitrary cultural totems on account of their grandparents decided to surrender that particular battle for them.

    There’s also commensurately less ideological policing in that community than the one here, which is ultimately what I’m getting at: he didn’t come by his obsession with anti-Semites by actual exposure to them, or by being raised such that not obsessing over anti-Semitism was in some way failing his tribe, but because he’s chosen to be. The way Dane Cook came to be obesessed with Burger King, or James O’Keefe came to be obsessed with welfare queens and boat bitches.

  233. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:01

    Did anybody else read the “Adventures of the mad scientist club” as a kid, I believe the author was named Bertrand Brimly, or Brinley.

    That shit was awesome, and you are free to blame its influence on me for being, well, me.
    .

  234. alec said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:02

    Curly’s just a marshmallow of love. Larry is somewhat pushy and obnoxious, much of the time.

    You know, I didn’t catch the context for this and I thought your innocent discusson of your cats was some kind of Three Stooges slash (m / M / m / fake shemp).

  235. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:08

    some kind of Three Stooges slash (m / M / m / fake shemp)

    TELL ME MOAR!
    .

  236. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:11

    Larry is somewhat pushy and obnoxious, much of the time.

    he always seemed (at least from some of your descriptions to be the “needy one” which isn’t necessarily a problem, but can be annoying at times.

    Have you ever been to the “way of cats” blog? Awesome space, and while I consider myself a n’th degree blackbelt cat whisperer, the lady that runs that place would be my sensei. I have learned quite a bit of things about the specific natures of individual cat types from her and have been blown away by her acumen reagarding our feline masters.

    I need to get a couple of shots of my roomies cat Pippi before they leave. She is a doll and i feel bad because i know that she is going to miss me dearly, as much as i am going to miss her. She already has my thumbs trained and lets me know when she needs to go out or come back in. I fear that she will be a bit of a pain for her owner for a little while when they settle in at their new place. She is also beautiful and sweet.

    Fortunately for me there is a neighbor cat down the way that comes running when he see’s me that I have access to. Also I have a contract with his owner that should anything ever happent to her, I will take care of the little bastard.
    .

  237. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:25

    Have you ever been to the “way of cats” blog? Awesome space, and while I consider myself a n’th degree blackbelt cat whisperer, the lady that runs that place would be my sensei.

    Don’t think so. ‘Scuse me while I whip out my Google.
    .

  238. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:28

    I just realized that i am now a godfather of two living creatures. One Human and one feline. Kinda cool, kinda scary.

    Carry the one…at this point i could manage to carry both of them in my arms. and while I doubt it would ever come to that, I figure that the kid would go into a papoose and the cat over my shoulder. and now that i think about it, I am almost certain that they would get along.

    OK I am pretty sure that if disaster struck, I could raise a fine pair of beasts.
    .

  239. Major Kong said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:34

    My cat sulks when I leave for a trip. She knows what the uniform and the suitcase means.

  240. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:34

    “Rhetorically tying him to Dane Cook and James O’Keefe comes across as the most goofy kind of demagoguery to me.”

    alec never seems to be crafting an appeal to any group of people I can identify.

    The idea of Three Stooges slash fiction sounds potentially hilarious and terrifying. My fanfic exposure is very limited, though. I remember an incestuous bit of work entitled “Everybody Fucks Raymond.”

  241. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:34

    some kind of Three Stooges slash (m / M / m / fake shemp)

    TELL ME MOAR!

    “Larry, you’re looking fine… help me get this beam through the door.”

  242. RWW said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:34

    Larry is the real key to understanding The Stooges. Curley is for the mass market. Moe is for the emotionally impaired and Larry is for the intellectuals.

  243. N__B said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:37

    My cat sulks when I leave for a trip. She knows what the uniform and the suitcase means.

    She doesn’t piss in the suitcase? You’re lucky.

  244. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:45

    “Larry is the real key to understanding The Stooges. Curley is for the mass market. Moe is for the emotionally impaired and Larry is for the intellectuals.”

    That’s very interesting, and maybe I lack imagination, but how does this explain how they fuck each other?

  245. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:51

    alec never seems to be crafting an appeal to any group of people I can identify.

    I think alec appeals to alec.

  246. jim, more foolish than literalist said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:54

    Wow … you know you’re in heady intellectual territory when you’re seeing someone quote Jim “MY POOP TASTES FUNNY” Treacher with the idea that his assent will help their case.

    Eccchhhh. I’ll be happy when/if this whole “batshit-crazy people agreeing with liberals on something obvious means it’s BS” schtick plays out – as in the Heartland Institute putting up billboards tying AGW to the Unibomber & Co. … or as here, Ready having made superficially valid points about freedom of expression at an Occupy event he trolled in the process of trying to legitimize his NeoNazi hijinx.

    By HoftLogic, the regular appearance of Hammerskins boneheads at anti-war protests makes THEM leftists too.
    *************************************
    For a week or so now, whenever I go to alicublog I am teased with an unclickable “comments” link for a few seconds … then nada … & can only see my own comment if I make one. More curious than hopeful, I tried it with my new Android tablet just now & got exactly the same result … EchoFascism ISREAL.

    Said tablet won’t let me transfer my Hoft-spoor here – & nothing of value was lost.

    Learning the ropes with a new beast is fun/infuriating… trying to customize my wallpaper yesterday led to much profanity & fail. Ditto the unintentional byproducts of my slog up the Kilimanjaro-like learning curve of using a touchscreen.

    Le sigh.

  247. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:54

    …he didn’t come by his obsession with anti-Semites by actual exposure to them, or by being raised such that not obsessing over anti-Semitism was in some way failing his tribe, but because he’s chosen to be. The way Dane Cook came to be obesessed with Burger King, or James O’Keefe came to be obsessed with welfare queens and boat bitches.

    Imma gonna have to call for an objection based on the grounds of the assumption of facts not in evidence in this case. I get where you are trying to go, but I think you may be reaching for a bridge too far, at least without citation. And as a Negro who hates the thrall that aipac has on our government as much as i believe you do as a Jew, which will always find us in good company, assumptivision without citation is not the way to win an argument.

    We get the thrust of your point, or at least i do.

    One of the things that i like about Roy’s place and this is the heated non snarkical argumentation that erupts from time to time. That VS enjoys SBC, and that he represents a certain amount of evil in the world to you is understood. VS is good people and you are good people, and i would have both of your backs without hesitation.

    I’m gonna have to find that list of troll types (Thank you very much RWW) and figure which one i am at this point. I am pretty sure a pointy nose and a wagging finger fits my description)

    Anyway feel free to carry on.

    xoxox,
    love you both,
    Kent.

  248. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:55

    James o’keefe is funny in the same way that watching a guy bounce football into his nuts is funny.

  249. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 4:57

    Please to be forgiving of the typos, misspellings, and general lack of craftsmenship of the last comment.

    /I’ll be taking a timout.
    .

  250. rodert rudis said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:07

    Cohen voice-over as King Julien in Madagascar was pretty good. I don’t care for the way he ridicules people in Borat (sp).

  251. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:18

    http://uncletomfoolery.blogspot.com/2004/12/i-was-just-hanging-out-at-blog-minding.html

    Imma gonna be shiftless and lazy and annoyed by the cat hair on my keyboard and without the linky dink point to my take on a wonderful battle between the old school LGF and the old school Eschaton.

    Warning blogwhore from nearly eight years ago.

    .

  252. Rary Guppert said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:22

    The fact is, Merkin Patiot Is a true American and should have a statute in Washington.

  253. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:23

    I think alec appeals to alec.

    You know, the temptation now is to write alec/alec slash…

    “Alec, I find you appealing… and I’ll be a-peeling your clothes off.”

    I don’t care for the way he ridicules people in Borat (sp).

    I think the worst part was the bashing of Central Asian people. I know some guys from Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan, and they are good people. An entitled twit ridiculing those people to score cheap points is pretty shitty in my book.

    Of course, my book seems to mainly be slashfic these days.

  254. daphne said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:35

    “to try and prove themselves over it?”

    “to try and get a false equivalence”

    Sigh. Cerberus apparently isn’t going to try TO learn about grammar from the likes of me.

  255. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:42

    The fact is, Merkin Patiot Is a true American and should have a statute in Washington.

    on this we can agree.
    .

  256. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:47

    I’m pretty sure most of the wingers still don’t know that a “merkin” is a pubic wig.

  257. N__B said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:59

    Aren’t most wigs meant to be worn in public? I mean, there’s not much point wearing one around the house.

  258. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 6, 2012 at 5:59

    It’s been overcast all night… WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SUPERMOON?

  259. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:04

    “to try and prove … to try and get”

    I have been conscious of seeing this type of construction lately. I’m not sure why I’m noticing it at all, since it’s very common, and I am no model myself.

    I wonder if this is an Americanism. I don’t wonder enough to Google, though, since I have about 30 mins. of my practice regimen left.

  260. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:06

    I don’t wonder enough to Google, though, since I have about 30 mins. of my practice regimen left.

    Grammar practice?

  261. Rary Guppert said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:06

    t’s been overcast all night… WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SUPERMOON?

    Cue 2004 Mars email in 3…2…1…

  262. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:07

    Ooops that was me.

  263. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:10

    I wouldn’t call either an Americanism so much as a faithful rendering of how people talk. People say “to try and prove” and “to try and get” all the time; at least in this locale, they never say “to try TO prove” or “to try TO get.”

  264. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:14

    “Grammar practice?”

    Hahha. Very nice. No, jazz guitar. Just then I played along with a rendition of “Tangerine” by (I see here) Johnny Mercer and Victor Schertzinger.

    Kinda funny era-wise that Victor didn’t anglicize his name. Never heard of him.

  265. jim, more foolish than literalist said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:15

    Trying to be Interwebs Grammar Police = trying to promote abstinence in a whorehouse.

  266. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:16

    I don’t count commenting on blogs into the practice time, you see. So two hours takes a long-ass time some nights

  267. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:17

    And let me just play pedant here for a moment – there’s nothing really incorrect about “to try and prove” or “to try and get”. “Proper” grammar is pretty much whatever is accepted usage at any given time and there really is no overarching authority on that; in fact, a lot of what grammar pedants point out as “incorrect” are not, in fact, incorrect. Such as ending a sentence with a preposition, which is not incorrect, though people who were taught that it is will jump to point it out, since it’s a fairly easy to remember “rule.” The only problem with it is that it isn’t a rule.

  268. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:20

    One thing that IS incorrect, however, is using “are” instead of “is,” as in the following:

    …in fact, a lot of what grammar pedants point out as “incorrect” are not, in fact, incorrect.

    Thus ends my turn at playing grammar pedant.

  269. rodert rudis said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:24

    “Although unproven, several priests were accused of openly encouraging murder of the political opposition during Mass, including the Santa Rosa de Cabal Bishop Miguel Ángel Builes.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Violencia

    This is how I see the situation in the U.S. reaching a crisis point, when the religious class begins to preach murder. This may already be happening and I just don’t know about.

    The militant right seems to be working very hard not to be associated with militancy, while at the same time hoarding guns and bullets and coming to the aid of the mass murderers with ridiculously convoluted arguments. Sooner or later they are going to give up on the denials and the bullshit and just say, “Yeah, fuck you we’re murderers what are you going to do about it?”

  270. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:26

    holy fuckaroo, we were busy at the club tonight…my dogs are srsly barking…and being hungover all the while made it be nearly zero fun…

    okay, i am weirded out by the whole sally rakowski thing earlier…wtf? that is very nearly my name…and i must say that i am sad that i missed another pennis sighting…

    work is dumb…(except if you are not working…)

  271. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:27

    Yes, Jennifer, right on all counts. And unlike computers we’re very good with unusual syntax, grammar, spelling. It seems like we mostly grasp the meaning and then proceed to carp about social distinctions surround how someone said something. Cerberus used her salad fork to eat her entree, and the like. Of course some of us get paid the big bucks to know these distinctions or those. But all that’s just social convention that’s reified (?) to a degree.

  272. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:28

    oooh…big thunder…storm number two of the evening is about to erupt…

  273. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:31

    My peeve is “there’s lots of…”
    Mixing up “there is” with “there are”. Tv people do it constantly and I hate it.

  274. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:34

    yay! new louis vs rick!

  275. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:36

    My peeve is “there’s lots of…”

    mine is when the person on the radio says they are going to take a check at the weather forecast…this pisses me off insanely…

  276. Golem Heart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:46

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8jEkQ7FB8g

    “Lover,” by Les Paul, very trippy as done here. What a guy. Do listen.

    It’s on my list as the last song to run through (in a standard arrangement, not like the recording above). But I am gonna skip it because changing keys every bar or so is a pain in the ass, as in the jazzy arrangement in front of me. I’d rather have fun these last six minutes.

    My goodness, IPAs are strong. 7.2% in this case.

  277. Eric Blair said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:02

    Brits are kind of a special case, though. With a few, mainly old and foreign exceptions, they’re culturally indistinguishable from WASPs over there, and don’t really want to be culturally distinct – there’s less hand-wringing about a culture under siege and less obessive observance of arbitrary cultural totems on account of their grandparents decided to surrender that particular battle for them.

    There’s also commensurately less ideological policing in that community than the one here, which is ultimately what I’m getting at: he didn’t come by his obsession with anti-Semites by actual exposure to them, or by being raised such that not obsessing over anti-Semitism was in some way failing his tribe, but because he’s chosen to be. The way Dane Cook came to be obesessed with Burger King, or James O’Keefe came to be obsessed with welfare queens and boat bitches.

    I can’t tell exactly why this pisses me off so much, but fuck it, I’m gonna try.

    1. The generalisations—”they’re culturally indistinguishable from WASPs over there”—are so generalised that they are in fact nonsensical.

    2. My Grandmother was English, died a couple of years ago at the age of 93, and I can tell you she did more than wring her hands about a culture under siege, she railed about it long and loud. Further, she held fast to a whole raft of arbitrary cultural totems: the exact same ones that her sons and grandsons would still regard as totemic. She didn’t surrender nothin’.

    3. Is the sentence about how Sasha Baron Cohen came about his obsession with anti-Semites so opaque in its ideology? Not really, insofar as it serves to make a point which services the ideology of its writer—Baron Cohen’s anti-anti-Semitism is an adopted position—predicated solely on the writer’s imaginative construct of some fact that will fit his case.

    4. The fact that I agree with Alec’s original post on the subject (though I would personally replace “can pretty much be summed up as” with “contains a substantial proportion of”) makes this subsequent rhetorical blast even more annoying.

    5. It seems to represent a modus operandi, last observed in an an attack on George Orwell in a previous thread, which uses glib generalisation, half-truths and flagrant untruths in service of its own agenda, which is …

    6. Dudes, I’m so much smarter than you. Deal with it.

    Yeah, I think that is why.

  278. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:09

    James o’keefe is funny in the same way that watching a guy bounce football into his nuts is funny.

    I find it hard to laugh at self injury, having been a recipient on several occasions myself, usually involving bicycle wrecks, some during racing and most durining training. I tended to push the envelop[e as is my want. experiment with the lawsof gravity.

  279. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:21

    All I said was that Sacha isn’t funny. I think that trying to assign some sort of motive or theme to his work other than being a douche who says all kinds of outrageous shit to make people squirm is giving that shit more credit than is due.

  280. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:25

    Also, I’ve injured myself in more embarrassing ways than I can count. So I laugh my ass off when that shit happens to others and I’m lucky enough to see it. I used the football to the nuts example because just did that to myself this week.

  281. Another Kiwi said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:30

    WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SUPERMOON?
    Ha ha, we got your Super moon here. It is very super what with it being all round and shiny.
    Sure is super, by gum.

  282. An Australian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:35

    Hey, can we have that moon when you’re done with it?

  283. Anne Laurie said,

    May 6, 2012 at 8:59

    Balloon Juice is a weird commentariat – I really can’t put my finger on what the deal is there. I comment over there fairly often, and it’s like I’m standing in a closet talking to myself. I think maybe it’s just that they’re more “serious” than I am and don’t love to curse like I do.

    Speaking for myself only: John Cole has tried, perhaps too hard, to provide a full-service blog of maximum diversity within the reality-based community. Which means many different front-pagers, some of whom joined Balloon Juice with pre-existing fan bases — and those diverse fan bases do not always agree on the proper uses of “humor” and “satire”. Since very few of the regulars want a shooting war to break out, there’s been a tendency for the last few months to greet unblatant snark with the same due caution with which one would greet an unexploded grenade.

    Me, I’m hoping this twitchy phase will wear off as the various camps get to know each other better. Or at least that some of the twitchiest commentors will actually do like they’re forever threatening and flounce off in a GBCW huff, so we can go back to spitting on the floor and making up inventive insults about each others’ political proclivities.

  284. amk said,

    May 6, 2012 at 9:07

    Landed here via cole’s bj.

    Excellent calling out of the duplicity of rwnj’s.

    Site fav’ed.

  285. Another Kiwi said,

    May 6, 2012 at 9:13

    I dunno An Australian, it’s kind of our moon and I think it’s glued there. Maybe the Great and Glorious Commonwealth of Australia could find it’s own moon or did Rose Hancock mine it?

  286. An Australian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 9:24

    We did have our own moon, a nice plain, traditional one that we’d all enjoyed for generations, only Kerry Packer came along and well, it’s all SUPERMOON now, isn’t it.

  287. John Revolta said,

    May 6, 2012 at 9:40

    Excellent calling out of the duplicity of rwnj’s.

    It’s What We Do!!

    Well, that and the poop jokes.

  288. Another Kiwi said,

    May 6, 2012 at 10:15

    I know what you mean An Australian, it’s all Day/Night games now innit.

  289. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 10:32

    Me, I’m hoping this twitchy phase will wear off as the various camps get to know each other better. Or at least that some of the twitchiest commentors will actually do like they’re forever threatening and flounce off in a GBCW huff, so we can go back to spitting on the floor and making up inventive insults about each others’ political proclivities.

    Anne, Pleasure to see you round here. while I rarely comment over at the juice it is a daily read of mine and i am a fan of yours.

  290. Kerry Packer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 10:39

    You nancies don’t like it, buy your own frickin’ media empire! But just see how you go trying to the teams apart when they’re all wearing the same frickin’ colour again!

  291. Provider_UNE said,

    May 6, 2012 at 11:03

    Kerry Packer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 10:39

    You nancies don’t like it, buy your own frickin’ media empire! But just see how you go trying to the teams apart when they’re all wearing the same frickin’ colour again!

    British trolly on the early Sunday morn has some directions that he would like us to take.

    This might be a thred for the ages.

    Can a meltdown of the Magna Carta be far behind?
    .

  292. Kerry Packer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 11:23

    British trolly on the early Sunday morn has some directions that he would like us to take.

    That’d be a Kiwi and an Australian and no, I think we’re done …

  293. Smut Clyde said,

    May 6, 2012 at 12:11

    Ha ha, we got your Super moon here. It is very super what with it being all round and shiny.

    Clear winter night and all so I went for a 3-hour walk up in the hills (beyond the chasm). Normally it is just the stars and the frost but tonight the White Face was spying on me.
    The big lights hurt our eyes, they do.

  294. Smut Clyde said,

    May 6, 2012 at 12:20

    James o’keefe is funny in the same way that watching a guy bounce football into his nuts is funny.
    OW MY BALLS!!

  295. Technetium said,

    May 6, 2012 at 12:21

    Did you know that Zimmerman is one-quarter nigger ape?

    Not a white man at all.

    Suck on that, nigger.

  296. Lexicon Devil said,

    May 6, 2012 at 12:27

    Hey, Technetium, JT Ready’s calling you from the grave. Whyn’t ya go join him.

  297. Suezboo said,

    May 6, 2012 at 12:37

    bbkf, thanks muchly for Louis vs Rick. New to me and now bookmarked. As we say here, dankie.

  298. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 13:44

    All I said was that Sacha isn’t funny. I think that trying to assign some sort of motive or theme to his work other than being a douche who says all kinds of outrageous shit to make people squirm is giving that shit more credit than is due.

    He knew not to go full Tom Greene, so let’s credit him with that.
    .

  299. Provider_UNE_AmazinglyPowerfullNiggerApe said,

    May 6, 2012 at 14:14

    I always wonder which leg of my pants to start with, as all three of them are ginormous.
    .

  300. not a gator said,

    May 6, 2012 at 14:51

    Jennifer, I enjoy your posts on Balloon Juice. What that site needs is a like button. Commenting is just clumsy enough and threads move along quickly enough (I’m, like, the worst thread necromancer ever due to working night shift) that I often don’t bother to comment, but I do enjoy what you say.

    Also, I’m not very clever or snarky and there’s usually not much to add to a good Jennifer rant/smackdown.

  301. Major Kong said,

    May 6, 2012 at 15:30

    Hey! This sleep stuff is pretty awesome! I should do this more often.

  302. sparks said,

    May 6, 2012 at 15:32

    Kinda funny era-wise that Victor didn’t anglicize his name. Never heard of him.

    Never heard of Victor Schertzinger? Where have you been? Though he kept his hand in, he did less composing and more film directing as time went on, maybe that’s why. Some of the films are even good.

  303. rodert rudis said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:03

    Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 6:17

    Grammar. I was lucky to have an English teacher who taught us essentially what you have just said, that there really is no fixed set of rules for speaking or writing English, that “correct English” depends more on usage than anything else. I also learned that there are two grammars, one descriptive, which is the rule-less grammar you mention, and prescriptive, the grammar we all learned as children to make sure we didn’t split infinitives.

  304. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:16

    robert – there’s a book called Origins of the Specious which does a pretty good job of deconstructing all the grammar “rules” which really aren’t rules. Such as the split infinitive, which in English is perfectly fine; the only reason anyone has ever thought otherwise is that the “rule” was made up by folks who were brought up learning Latin; they simply applied this rule of Latin grammar to English. English, of course, is not Latin and doesn’t even derive from Latin, so there was never any good reason to adopt rules of Latin grammar; it appears that this was just a case of someone or several someones down the line trying to impress with their superior education in defunct languages. The Brits from early Renaissance up through the mid-20th century had a real boner for “classical” languages and invested a lot of energy into the teaching and learning of Latin and Greek.

  305. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:17

    …there’s usually not much to add to a good Jennifer rant/smackdown.

    You got that right croc, I mean NAG. She does a usually complete and thourough destruction when she lets the hammer fall. She challenges me to be a better writer with every one of her screeds.

    Hey! This sleep stuff is pretty awesome! I should do this more often.

    Awesome MK, Glad you finally got some. I might recommend nap taking slightly more often (As I am pretty sure that you are aware of the concept in general). As soon as i lay waste toa bowl or two of cereal, provided I don’t get my dander in a fluff, I plan to do exactly that.

    Your very lovely cat should show you the way. :)
    .

  306. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:21

    This morning I had eggs baked in avocado with lime and cilantro. It was pretty damn tasty. I dipped eggs in the whole pretty mess.

  307. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:24

    This morning I had eggs baked in avocado with lime and cilantro. It was pretty damn tasty. I dipped eggs in the whole pretty mess.

    I had the half of an Aldi Mama Cozzi’s self-rising crust pizza that wouldn’t fit in the toaster oven, last night. :)
    .

  308. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:27

    Let’s see if Ye Olde Laundrette is really empty owing to church and/or bobbleheads.
    .

  309. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:31

    You folks are too kind. I don’t think I’m all that good of a writer and I usually think of a better way to have said something after the horse is already out of the barn. Not to mention that I see or hear dozens of things, or more, said by others each and every day that I wish I had thought of myself.

    I do, however, think Jon Stewart is stealing some of my material. Did you know that the Daily Show site now has a “comments out of context” feature? Though to be fair, even in my blog version that isn’t “my” material – it’s just the title they swiped.

  310. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:36

    Dang, vs, that sounds delish.

    I love avocados, but they do not love me; I can get away with tasting about a thumbnail’s worth of guacamole – any more than that brings on really horrific stomach cramps. It’s a curse, I tell ya. Last night I had dinner with some old friends and they had the best guacamole – I limited myself to just a taste and still had some discomfort from it 30 minutes later. Same goes for raw spinach, cantaloupe and honeydew melon, though watermelon seems to be ok if I don’t eat more than a slice at a time. I’d be a lot better off if, say, chocolate caused this reaction rather than these other healthful tasty things.

  311. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:38

    The Brits from early Renaissance up through the mid-20th century had a real boner for “classical” languages and invested a lot of energy into the teaching and learning of Latin and Greek.

    True this is. They shut down Latin classes the year before i entered highschool and as i wished for a classical edumication at the time I was a bit dissapointed. They did manage to keep open a Latin and Greek derivatives class open, and as i look back I think the two classes that I learned the most from, were that one and Biology.

    How many grammatical rules were broken in that last sentence, or in this one, i could not tell you. But hey, we are dealing with a living language, and i will take that alibi to my grave.
    .

  312. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:45

    VS I just finished a bowl of cereal, and if I could make the IP tunnel any bigger I would crawl through it and snag some of your breakfast. Damn tasty does it sound.

    Jennifer, you sell yourself short, but humility is a paragon of virtue. While i might occassionally find a turn of phrase that is delicious, I find myself often wishing I had written what you have allready forcefully applied to the ether. Sometimes the challenge is to best others, sometimes the challenge is just to keep up.
    :)
    .

  313. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:48

    Boo-diddley-be-bop! Diddley-be-bop!
    .

  314. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:50

    Let’s see if Ye Olde Laundrette is really empty owing to church and/or bobbleheads.

    Good luck sir. May your laundry run smoothly and may you have as many machines as possible to exploit for the purpose.

    VS, you can leave the cilantro out of my portion. :)

    .

  315. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:51

    Speaking of boners, good morning everyone. I woke up with a rager this morning. This concludes this morning’s over share.

  316. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:56

    Good luck sir. May your laundry run smoothly and may you have as many machines as possible to exploit for the purpose.

    I just need two for 25 minutes, and a dryer for 45.

    Will not wait until tonight. Sunday evenings are way too busy.
    .

  317. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 16:56

    I love avocados, but they do not love me; I can get away with tasting about a thumbnail’s worth of guacamole – any more than that brings on really horrific stomach cramps.

    Damn Jen, Walnuts are about the only thing that give me similar troubles. All of those waterfilled melons, though oddly enough, I am not a big fan of the actual watermelon, are delish. As is the Avocado, which I believe should be denied to no one on any basis at all.

    And while cilantro causes me no physical discomfort, I simply don’t understand why someone would want to ruin a perfectly good meal by finishing it off with a dash of soap.
    .

  318. Major Kong said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:07

    I have the weekend in Providence RI. I rented a car and I’m headed down to Newport for the afternoon.

  319. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:08

    Speaking of boners, good morning everyone.

    First cat scaring laugh out loud moment of the day belongs to tsam, providing anyone is keeping score.

    Will not wait until tonight. Sunday evenings are way too busy.

    One must strike while the iron is hot.

    Once back in the day, my best friend and I ahd managed to avoid doing laundry for quite some time and on this occasion we decided to do it together. I think we occupied something in the neighborhood of 16-18 machines (we were young, stupid, very physically active, [read sweaty] men who couldn’t pass a second hand store without walking out with some vintage finery). Fortunately we picked a good day and had the place to ourselves.

    My current inventory would require at maximum two machines. And while I still keep my eye out for vintage finery, there just isn’t nearly as much around, and what is left is usually outside of the constraints of my budget.
    .

  320. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:12

    I have the weekend in Providence RI. I rented a car and I’m headed down to Newport for the afternoon.

    Fuckin’ A MK! Have a lovely day at the beach. If the weather there looks to bee as good as it is here, you are in for a doozy. I love the air when it has a bit of a salty tinge to it.
    .

  321. gocart mozart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:23

    Shout out from Balloon Juice: “Seems like a good time and place for a return shout-out to the dogged souls at Sadly, NO!, where Cerberus pauses in his goddess-blessed task of beating Jim Hoft about the virtual ears with a pixel pig-bladder to ask.”

    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/05/06/late-night-open-thread-antidotes/

  322. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:31

    Oh I forgot… Good morning everyone except the racist nazi troll above. BAD morning to you, scumbag. Bad. Your mom says to tell you to clean your room, btw.

  323. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:32

    Funny thing, i was just reading that Mozart.

    BTW Greetings from Asbury Park is one of my favorite albums.
    .

  324. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:34

    Ha-ha! I did some Paper Camera kittehs over at the you-know-where. A pleasant mid-Sunday activity (yes, I have been up more than four hours, and am about to consult a healthcare professional).
    .

  325. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:34

    tsam, you are batting a thou in the cracking my ass up department. Nice work.
    .

  326. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:34

    So I don’t really visit those “other” blogs much. Are we like the island of misfit toys here? I sure hope so.

  327. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:35

    I woke up with a rager this morning.

    The cat couldn’t scratch it, so I cut some diamonds with it.
    .

  328. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:37

    Are we like the island of misfit toys here? I sure hope so.

    Yep! :)

    Jeff those pics are awesome. what pray tell is a paper camera?
    .

  329. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:37

    Provider;
    When you scared the cat, did it make the ROWR! Sound like in the movies? Please say yes because I think that’s the funniest sound ever!

  330. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:38

    Yes tsam, it did and promptly shot out of the room and back up the stairs.
    .

  331. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:40

    The cat couldn’t scratch it, so I cut some diamonds with it.

    This is why I have a concealed carry permit. When I’m carrying in the open, I can’t keep the ladies off me.

  332. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:42

    Yes tsam, it did and promptly shot out of the room and back up the stairs.

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

  333. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:46

    Jeff those pics are awesome. what pray tell is a paper camera?

    Paper Camera is a nifty Android app by JFDP Labs. Not sure what it usually costs, but it’s not free; I got for during some crazy sale for 10 cents. Also got Soundhound for a dime. That one identifies music it hears wherever you happen to turn it on. Very helpful for olds like me who sometimes likes a tune I’m hearing out in the wild, but I have no ideer who or what it is.
    .

  334. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:50

    One of my old cat’s Whyo lives with the ex, and a demonstration of her “ways”. Sylvia was a very funny, sweet and loving girl who just had to get the waterbowl in the “proper” location. Cats and there ways never fail to amuse me. I am still combing the blog for a good shot of Ptolomy, but it seems that imageshack has shitcanned most of them.
    :( grrr
    .

  335. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:51

    Paper Camera really does nothing that I couldn’t do with finer control in Photoshop, but is great when you can’t be arsed. ;)
    .

  336. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:52

    Re that “Way of Cats” blog. Thanks so much for putting me on to that, it’s awesome.

    My cat is definitely a “Gamma”. (the lovely Rosebuddear, she is) Case in point: I have a fenced front porch on my trailer (oh excuuuuse me front office, “manufactured home” hahaha). Cats are not allowed outside here, but I got a pet barrier door to match the fence and put it across the entrance to the porch.

    I can now let the lovely Rosebud out on the porch and she NEVER TRIES TO GET OUT. She’s not fat, but just a little too big to squeeze between the fenceposts, and is elderly and fairly slow. Any other cat would be up and over that fence in a New York minute, but not Rose. She loves to lounge on that porch for hours and watch the ducks and geese march up the street from the lake (lovely lake view on one side). I can leave her out there unsupervised for hours.

    Her favorite cat toys are all the ones that Patrick brought over for her when he was still among the living. Among his other talents, he was an excellent cat whisperer.

    Miss him still.

  337. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:54

    My favorite thing about cats is when they think they’re like navy seal special forces ninja samurais. If you’re lucky enough to be able to sneak up on one while theyre in their hunting crouch and tap them on the back….FUNNY

  338. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:55

    Re that “Way of Cats” blog. Thanks so much for putting me on to that, it’s awesome.

    Yes — UNE, thanks for that!

    My cat is definitely a “Gamma”.

    I have what seems to be the bad pairing: Alpha (LarryElvis) and Gamma (Curly).
    .

  339. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 17:56

    spelling and grammar fails have me thinking that it is time to take a nap.

    I really had fogotten how much sylvia had to move that damn water bowl around or how many times i nearly killed myself tripping over it because I did not expect it to be two and a half feet from where i placed it or the mopping to clean up afterwards. She is a hoot. Shoulda bolted the bowl to a cinderblock, though I suspect she’d still find a way to move it.
    .
    .

  340. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:00

    Paper Camera really does nothing that I couldn’t do with finer control in Photoshop, but is great when you can’t be arsed. ;)

    Tools that get the job done quick and dirty? Fuck yeah.

    Rosebudder and JP you guys are very welcome. I first caught the link at BJ, like out of the corner of my eye on the blog roll and was like: “way of cats? did I catch that correctly?”

    scrolled on up and indeed I had. Great site. i wish i had discovered it earlier. Happy that you guys dig it.
    .

  341. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:02

    Also got Soundhound for a dime. That one identifies music it hears wherever you happen to turn it on.

    i’ve seen the iphone app equivalent to that one and wa pretty blown away. Another great tool.
    .

  342. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:03

    i’ve seen the iphone app equivalent to that one and wa pretty blown away. Another great tool.

    I have often remarked that this HTC Incredible 2 that I have is my fastest, most powerful computing device. It’s about 80% true, too. :)
    .

  343. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:09

    Miss him still.

    I am sure that Rose and Pat were the best of buds and am trying to keep my tears off the keyboard. I am so very sorry for your loss.
    .

  344. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:17

    Have an Android myself. Has anyone else ever had this problem with an Android? Once it goes to sleep, you can press the damn button until your thumbnail gets numb and it won’t respond. Finally it will respond with: “turn off phone” or “cancel”. You have to press “Cancel” to bring it back. Very annoying. And trying to answer the damn phone is an ordeal. It’s great for texting and surfing, not so much for actually using it as a phone.

    I visited your website, UNE. I feel for you. I hope you’re in better straits these days. I don’t have any money myself, being on a fixed income (meaning my cheapass boss is never going to give me a raise and my lot rent keeps going up every year), otherwise, well…………………………

    If I win the lottery, etc.

    Sigh.

    Cheers to all Sadlies here this morn,

  345. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:19

    Have an Android myself. Has anyone else ever had this problem with an Android? Once it goes to sleep, you can press the damn button until your thumbnail gets numb and it won’t respond. Finally it will respond with: “turn off phone” or “cancel”. You have to press “Cancel” to bring it back. Very annoying.

    I’ve had that happen a time or two. Pushing and holding the power button causes this response. Usually a single push brings mine to life, and I have to push kinda hard, ’cause it’s wrapped in an OtterBox case.
    .

  346. gocart mozart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:23

    Thought for the day: Isn’t it about time to reintroduce the freakout over the Burlington Coat Factory Al Quada trining camp near ground zero. Are there any updates? Have they declared war on the 92nd Street Y yet or issued a fatwa against the local Victoria Secrets outlet. I haven’t heard anything about them since the last election which I’m sure is just a coincidence.

  347. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:23

    Best to you as well rosebudder. You are a sweetie> and give some loving to Rose for me, she sounds like a most lovely beast.
    .

  348. gocart mozart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:24

    Thought for the day: Isn’t it about time to reintroduce the freakout over the Burlington Coat Factory Al Quada training camp near ground zero. Are there any updates? Have they declared war on the 92nd Street Y yet or issued a fatwa against the local Victoria Secrets outlet. I haven’t heard anything about them since the last election which I’m sure is just a coincidence.

  349. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:24

    Scaring cats may be funny now but they are upstairs plotting their revenge.

  350. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:24

    Gonna watch me some Cosmos for a while.
    xoxox all.
    .

  351. gocart mozart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:24

    But I repeat myself.

  352. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:25

    oh UNE, don’t get me started. Thank you. I try to keep my tears off the keyboard every damn day.

    I never liked country music till he turned me on to it, now I can’t bear to listen to it. Anything by Jason Aldean just makes me cry now.

    I was pretty obsessive there for awhile. Listened over and over again to the last phone video I had of him, looked over and over the last texts I had from him, (on the new phone and the old phone), and listened to the last few voicemails I had from him on my landline.

    I don’t do that anymore (I’ve progressed that far at least, altho I won’t get rid of any of them) but I still can’t those Jason Aldean earworms out of my head.

    It’s a goddamn Patsy Cline song, without the “She’s Got You” part of it.

    And the worst part of it is, that his family won’t return my phone calls. I quit trying, don’t want to stalk them. I think they associate me with bad memories, because I was the one who started them looking for him. When he was supposed to come over and see me and didn’t show up.

    Shoot the messenger. WTF.

  353. rodert rudis said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:30

    Writing? A skill I lack in the extreme. Seems at least three things are needed: 1. Something to say, 2. Years of practice, 3. A lyrical mind. Maybe you can leave out no. 2. I agree that Jennifer is one of the best around. Chris too. Well, hells bells, just about everyone here. Cerberus is from another planet altogether. Me. A spindly weed among mighty oaks. So I don’t post much. I am so delighted just to be able to read here.

    Iris and I love avocado, which is a good thing because there’s a giant avocado tree behind the house here. Its trunk must be three feet thick and its crown seventy five feet across. All the lower branches have been pruned making picking impossible (unless you’re a tree climber, I’m not). Funny little red and white squirrels help us out though. Every morning they’re up early having avocado fights so there are always plenty scattered on the ground. Iris wraps them in news paper and they ripen in a couple days. Simple recipe: fresh hot (maseca) tortilla, sliced avocado, queso quesillo. Yum.

  354. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:34

    Well Robert, you seem to be a pretty good writer to me. That’s a hoot.

    Love those squirrel-gathered avocadoes. Yum.

    Yup, a spindly weed among mighty oaks. Haha me too.

    We are honored to be in this company.

    Thanks UNE, also. Enjoy Cosmos xoxo

  355. gocart mozart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:36

    Not exactly country but . . . Willie, Wynton & Norah are the cool.
    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=wiilie+nelson+marsalis&view=detail&mid=9FD52C37A9430B1768019FD52C37A9430B176801&first=0

  356. rosebuddear said,

    May 6, 2012 at 18:42

    Yeah it does seem like country, rock and pop have all kind of merged these days. Cool song, GM.

    I forget where I saw it (was it here? I don’t think so) somebody doing the old-curmudgeon get-off-my-lawn thing about New Country, how it’s too much like rock.

    Haha, maybe so. Time marches on. Deal with it, Boomers (me) hahahaha.

    I like all new stuff, altho I have always been clueless about New Music, New Games, New Movies, and always have to have somebody splain it to me before I dip my toe in.

  357. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 19:03

    I have a fatwa for Candice swanepoel.

  358. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 19:04

    how is it that i have never watched ‘freaks & geeks’ before?

  359. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 19:16

    did i say something wrong?

  360. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 19:20

    did i say something wrong?

    [garlic breath!]
    .

  361. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 19:24

    I’m doin’ chores. Churnin’ butter, sloppin’ the hawgs, etc.
    .

  362. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 19:34

    bbkf said,
    May 6, 2012 at 19:04
    how is it that i have never watched ‘freaks & geeks’ before?

    Too busy with Matlock?

  363. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:05

    Too busy with Matlock?

    ooooh…thems junkpunchin’ words, young man…

  364. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:09

    Whatever!

  365. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:12

    ooooooooh…good comeback!

  366. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:23

    Scaring cats may be funny now but they are upstairs plotting their revenge.

    :)

    Turns out that my stalker “Sally” has found my other blogs, not that that is a thing of any difficulty. Coming up on 15 years of fairly active use on the internets and what started with a gag yesterday got me a stalker. I feel like i have finally arrived. Funny thing, I have seen many of them in the wild attached to many that I have come to know and love and always wondered when it would be my turn.

    I can definitely see how it might creep a body out.
    .

  367. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:24

    ooooooooh…good comeback!

    :)

    tsam might have lost his touch a bit.
    .

  368. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:29

    Provider, do you know why s/he’s stalking you?

  369. tigris said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:45

    thems junkpunchin’ words, young man

    You’ll break your hand. Better start with the football.

  370. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:46

    bbkf said,
    May 6, 2012 at 20:12

    ooooooooh…good comeback!

    Ooooooooooooh….so was that

  371. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:47

    I am a sharing type, and apparently the default blogger software forwards comments to ones inbox (who knew, echo being bolted to my primary blog, the rest being gags, experiments or attempts to re-kindle the fire).

    I think my stalker has, well I am not sure. I have never taken to chasing another person across 4 blogs in an attempt to, well, I don’t know. One might look upon this as an attempt to forge a bi-partisan comity (the invitation for drinks at a well known town dive indicates a good deal of research or a substantial knowledge of my home town, he/she may have attended school here) And apparently Black Congressmen are flat out liars.

    Had I only left the comment above about using a Hoft as a representation of a unit of stupid (the first one) posted here and at the Alicublog, while avoiding posting the same in modified form at the Balloon Juice (only in the service of looking for collaberators) we might have been spared the following entertainment. From the only comment at one of my newer joints Wingularious follows a missive from “Sally”.

    Kent-

    Seeing as how you’re a B-town resident and a member of the Hoosier faithful, which, like me, you’re no doubt counting the seconds till next season’s tip-off, I should probably not persist in tormenting you and your little experiment at wingnut reconciliation, whatever that is.

    Andre Carson is a dishonest, dirtbag politician. He claimed he heard the n-word shouted at him and Congressman Lewis not once, or twice, or even a few times. He claimed he heard it fifteen times while walking amongst and through the crowd assembled for the Kill the Bill Rally at the Capitol steps.

    Breitbart called him on that horrendously dubious statement, and offered $100,000 to the UNCF for any evidence whatsoever, even one utterance. No one has come forward with a single thing, despite scads of video and audio recording devices among that crowd. Don’t you think it betrays common sense that at least one person in close proximity amongst a very large crowd would’ve thought to pull out their cell phones upon hearing the n-word ‘shouted’? SHOUTED, Kent. Shouted FIFTEEN TIMES!

    Nothing. No evidence whatsoever. Nada. Zilch.

    Next time I’m n B-town maybe we can go over to Nick’s for a few beers or G&T’s and go over the video where we see Lewis and Carson not being spat upon or being shouted at with racial epithets.

    Racism is ugly. Racism exists. There may very well have been racists amongst that crowd. The fact of the matter is, Carson made up that claim that he and Lewis were shouted at with the n-word fifteen times. And there was absolutely no reason to make that up.

    That’s not a Sullivan. It’s not a Reynolds, nor a Hoft either. It’s a fact.

    Something Shouted like fifteen times. Anyhoo, looks like I have a Birthday present three days early.
    .

  372. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:55

    Provider, do you know why s/he’s stalking you?

    DUH, rockhard boner….

  373. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:57

    If I had an internet stalker I’d take him/her on directly. I’d accept that meeting and see what’s what. Get yourself a can of pepperspray and some good stomping boots and see what’s out there.

  374. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:58

    Provider, do you know why s/he’s stalking you?

    I was snarking on wingnuts, is about all i can figure. working on the Grand unified wingnut fielsd theory.

    When I was a boy, My first college choise was MIT and I wanted to be a cosmologist or astrophysicist, but i discovered that math wasn’t really my bag, though i did once, during the boredom that accompanies winter days at a bike shop, reverse engineer the formula for celscius to farenheit, starting with the knowlegde that 5/9ths (or was that 9/5ths) was involved and the fact that 0=32 and 100=212. Actually one of my more impressive moments.

    In any event i have always retained my childhood wonder for science and engineering and attempt to amuse myself from time to time with the use of the scientific method to uncover the mysteries of wingnuttia. Plus, had i finished college, I almost certaily would have taken a minor in psychology.

    My scientific attempts at mockery got under a craw.

    I’d ask the same about you regarding Pennis, but have seen that game played enough to know the answer.

    BTW I love you babe, and while I know you will likely not need it, i will always have your back.
    .

  375. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:58

    tsam might have lost his touch a bit.

    This is what’s called 11 dimensional chess. You can’t see all the camouflaged traps out there, but they exist. Trust me.

  376. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 20:59

    wow…dim hoft really has some impressive followers:

    Oh, and then there’s the Jew-hatred and blood-libels and conspiracies wherein the “progressives” find common ground with the Klan- and neo-Nazi types.

    Also, there’s the Personality Cult aspect — with building-sized posters of Der Fuhrer at their rallies.

    I’m sure the “progressives” will come up with some sort of gesture like the infamous “arm-salute”, and soon. Probably by November.

  377. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:01

    can we come up with a code name for provider’s stalker? i am still weirded out by that…

  378. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:02

    Oh, and then there’s the Jew-hatred and blood-libels and conspiracies wherein the “progressives” find common ground with the Klan- and neo-Nazi types.

    Also, there’s the Personality Cult aspect — with building-sized posters of Der Fuhrer at their rallies.

    I’m sure the “progressives” will come up with some sort of gesture like the infamous “arm-salute”, and soon. Probably by November.

    COOL. I always wanted my own reich. I humbly submit my name for chancellor. I got plans, man. PLAAAAAANNNNNSSSS!!!!! Hoo Hooo HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!!!!

    **Strokes white cat**

  379. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:03

    can we come up with a code name for provider’s stalker? i am still weirded out by that…

    How about V.D. Hooker?

  380. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:05

    If I had an internet stalker I’d take him/her on directly. I’d accept that meeting and see what’s what. Get yourself a can of pepperspray and some good stomping boots and see what’s out there.

    Sir, we may need to duel. That is the third time that you have threatened* my laptop today, and that shall not stand.

    *and by threatened, I mean having atomised vapors shoot out of my nose and on to the motherboard( the keyboard and power button died months ago, so i had to see if i could hack it back into existence. fortunately I was successful, and with a USB keyboard we are still rolling along).

    In any event, thanks to rule number one, I was spared a serious dissapointment, but if I ever go black (he he) I might have to meet you in washington at thirty paces sir.

    .

  381. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:06

    **Strokes white cat**

    heh…if all they are expecting is posters and arm salutes, the sharks with fricking laser beams will really come as a surprise…

    srsly…do these people pass as normal?

  382. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:08

    wow…dim hoft really has some impressive followers:

    Thanks for bringing that particular mango aboard. I’d give that a rating of three Hofts as far as the stupularity is concerned.

    This is a perfect example of why Cerb is alway going on about the Projection.

    Glad to see you back bbkf!
    :)
    .

  383. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:10

    How about V.D. Hooker?

    perfect…

  384. tigris said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:10

    I’m sure the “progressives” will come up with some sort of gesture like the infamous “arm-salute”, and soon. Probably by November.

    I thought we already had holding hands and singing Kumbaya?

  385. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:13

    good to see you as well, provider…yeah, i haven’t seen that much projection since watching a scooby doo marathon…

  386. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:14

    srsly…do these people pass as normal?

    The shallow end of the gene pool is full of LOLWUT.
    .

  387. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:16

    iDUH, rockhard boner….

    Suse, while I appreciate the laughter, we migh be close to a problem here. In one day you have threatened the existance of my computer on no less than four occasions.

    Fortunately rule #one has prevented the damage, although i now realize that alergy related snot production might pose a problem in the future.

    You have been served, sir, and friend. ;)
    .

  388. Major Kong said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:17

    Oh, and then there’s the Jew-hatred

    If disagreeing with the Likud Pary equals “Jew-hatred” then at least half the Knesset are Jew-haters.

  389. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:18

    srsly…do these people pass as normal?

    As a denizen of the northern most state “soulth” of the mason dixon line I can assure you that we are all surrounded by them.
    .

  390. Pupienus said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:22

    Also got Soundhound for a dime. That one identifies music it hears wherever you happen to turn it on.

    i’ve seen the iphone app equivalent to that one and wa pretty blown away. Another great tool.

    Shazam. I use it often.

  391. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:23

    Provider, yeah the mockery does get to them, it’s obvious.

    Now, did s/he follow you here from BJ or what?

    Btw, I thought that comment about the $7 water was shockingly rude. So I guess if people have fallen on hard times theyre entitled to no respite from their hardship. Nice.

    I think Pennis is technically stalking actor, but had me figured as a soft target.

  392. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:23

    The shallow end of the gene pool is full of LOLWUT.

    staggeringly so…d00d over there is claiming that the dems are just like hitler’s government…one of his examples? the same racial policies…

    LOLWUT indeed…

  393. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:23

    can we come up with a code name for provider’s stalker? i am still weirded out by that…

    I’d call “her” Gerry after Ford.

    If I figure the formula and all its variables in toto, i will use a sally to represent a hothouse flower.

    If nothing else, I always knew that I was designated to live in “interesting times”.
    .

  394. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:27

    If I figure the formula and all its variables in toto, i will use a sally to represent a hothouse flower.

    indeed…i am beautiful, exotic and a bit difficult to maintain…

  395. .Dennis said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:32

    Neck slasher tsam is a such s badass, who knew.

    Hey, how about posting a pic of you holding a serrated knife, aka the Hoftmeistet, tsam?

  396. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:35

    No, not Gerry…SQUEAKY!!! After the wacked out Manson groupie who stalked Gerry.

  397. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:36

    As tsam lacks the inadequacy issues (for good reason) that plague Hoft, I’m fairly sure that no photo of him pretending to be Chuck Norris (who is himself only pretending to badassery) exists.

  398. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:38

    but there is the hair…

  399. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:41

    Hoft does have lucious blond locks.

  400. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:42

    Now, did s/he follow you here from BJ or what?

    Yep. initially she seemed frustrated in the “project” and expressed her discomfort with my presentation (which I though should be obvious to anyone with a brain, and I’ll grant that sometimes I am guilty of assuming facts not in evidence), so after a contrite reply was ignored, further accusations made on that particular thread, I de camped to hangout here, while occasionally bouncing back to BJ where the lovely Violet made me laugh responding to a Post about the best way to make a mint Julip with “You should make a gin and tonic instead”, I paraphrase, but it hit my funny knuckle.

    That lead to a discussion here with RWW about highfructose Corn syrup, my consideration of enjoying a proper cocktail and the purchase of a high end tonic.

    On the BJ thread in question arguingwithsignposts who comments here occasionally as AWS mangaged to get its hackles in a bunch by suggesting that she might not have a proper understanding of the intertrons and bingo. here we are.

    I think that this thread has devolved to a Me Me Me focus, and while entertaining, I expect that another shiny thing will pass through soon.

    That is not to say that i wont answer any more questions if you have them.
    :0
    xoxox.
    .
    k

  401. tigris said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:46

    Hoft does have lucious blond locks.

    The center-parted bowl-cut cut really suits him.

  402. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:46

    This is what’s called 11 dimensional chess. You can’t see all the camouflaged traps out there, but they exist. Trust me.

    dammit you bastard! that is the fifth time this very day and i am certain that claymores are involved.

    /shakes fist of futility skyward.
    .

  403. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:47

    I think that this thread has devolved to a Me Me Me focus, and while entertaining, I expect that another shiny thing will pass through soon.

    Fish ‘em and feed ‘em fuckheads, pal.
    .

  404. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:52

    We’ve all had our Me Me Me moments. Just enjoy it while it lasts!

  405. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:52

    Fred Meyer (Kroger) has Lebanon Blowme! I rarely bought it when I lived in PA. Seeing it in the deli case here was a bit of a shock and I bought some. It’s … interesting. Not having had any for six or seven years made it tasty but I still can’t say I’m very fond of it. Almost makes me want to try to find some Straub’s. in the hopes of finally liking it.

    Ahhh, now I’m remembering those great weekend drives with college buddies from Penn State up to St. Marys (NO APOSTOPHE IN THE NAME GODDAMIT) to go drink 5 cent Straub drafts at Sloppy Ed’s.

  406. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 21:54

    indeed…i am beautiful, exotic and a bit difficult to maintain…

    Agreed, wait, on the former part i am in concordence, but you will have nothing to do with the formula, because you are as sweet as pie.

    The formula is only reserved for a description of sociopathic assholes.
    .

  407. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:00

    The formula is only reserved for a description of sociopathic assholes.

    just don’t use my name in vain…

  408. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:01

    Hey, how about posting a pic of you holding a serrated knife, aka the Hoftmeistet, tsam?

    Awwww Pennis with his insecuritizing is back to take on a big bad wolf.

    Good luck with that and the premature ejaculations and the limited size and the abject inability to satisfy a partner.
    .

  409. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:01

    $32 to last me until that Friday paycheck clears (which ought to be quickly… my bank is really very cool). Oy.
    .

  410. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:03

    i blame obama

  411. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:14

    just don’t use my name in vain…

    Never my dear.

    Which now makes me think about looking up the old Motown number “never my love” and listening to it again.

    I think that Jeff has a paypal button at one of his sites that could youse a few drachma’s

    Thanks to Fenwick (where the fuck is he?) and others I paid a little bit forward. I imagine that not much is needed, but that anything would help, and that the excess would also be paid forward. in any event, I am off t find a song.

    brb
    .

  412. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:19

    I think that Jeff has a paypal button at one of his sites that could youse a few drachma’s

    Not too much, though. If you wanna loan dood a $10er, I’ll pay ya back once the first paycheck clears.
    .

  413. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:31

    JP, I’m down to exactly $11.34, until Wednesday. But I did manage to get the kitty food yesterday.

  414. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:33

    While I may occasionally play a hard ass on the internet I am in fact a weepy romantic guy who tears up to songs tears may occasionally drape my keyboard, but dont think that i will not kick your ass, if such is required.

    This one is for Rosebuddear.
    .

  415. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:48

    Jen you need to put a paypal button up at your site, while I by no means am swimming in funds I could shoot you a fiver.
    .

  416. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:53

    i’m just finishing the french film ‘my best friend’…i am utterly and completely charmed…

  417. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:54

    When the world has created a situation wherin a reasonalbly intelligent man connot manage to make ends meet and has him cursing the purchase of an expensive bottle of tonic water to treat himself on his birthday week…we have a fundimental problem
    .

  418. Jennifer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 22:54

    Thanks, Provider, but I’ll be ok. I have some plastic that I pay in full every month which is there if I have to have something and I’m out of cash. Right now everything due has been paid, I have food (for the cat too), almost a full tank of gas, so I should be fine for three days. If it was 2 weeks, I’d be worried. I did however put off the purchase of a new (used) dryer after mine crapped out in February, because I haven’t had an extra $75 since then. Now that it’s hot again, I’ve just strung up some new clothesline in the backyard, so not having a dryer isn’t an issue. I’m pretty good at getting by.

  419. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:07

    Lol. Sorry pennis, no such picture exists. You sure are stuck on that neck slashing thing. I’m rather flattered that I made such an impact on you. I have to warn you though. If you sleep with me, you’re also sleeping with your mom, and that’s slightly creepy, but I might make an exception for you, baby boy.

  420. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:09

    Provider, I’m gonna get that laptop. Just spit on it now so I don’t have to break out the Carrot Top jokes.

  421. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:11

    Also, FFS, put down that juice box, man! I hunt the internet for dudes and chicks drinking stuff and reading stuff so I can kill off laptops.

  422. vacuumslayer said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:12

    Maybe we need to set up a Sadlies Tip Jar, and those of us who are in the black could just make a donation now and again.

  423. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:15

    I’m sure the “progressives” will come up with some sort of gesture like the infamous “arm-salute”, and soon. Probably by November.

    Now, see, this is just discouraging. LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS, PEOPLE. No way someone would just guess the actual month we roll out the arm salute and cool new boots.

  424. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:16

    Maybe we need to set up a Sadlies Tip Jar, and those of us who are in the black could just make a donation now and again.

    I’d put stuff in it. Sometimes money even.

  425. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:17

    haha–Mariners are beating the Twins like the bitchez they are….W00t

  426. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:19

    Mauer: 0/2, 1 SO

    L to the O to the L

  427. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:19

    Well, I have begged and begged the last 45 months, and despite being $6000 in arrears to my super-cool landlord, I have managed to get by on ramen and spaghetti and eggs and bread.

    One of my readers said I should put these out for sale, so $5 will get you one in 4″x6″, ready to pick up at your nearest Walgreens (give me the ~address!) in one hour, typically. Let me know if you want one bigger, and I’ll do up a quote, but a 7″x10″ ought to run no more than $12, I’m guessing.
    .

  428. gocart mozart said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:30

    I may be interested Jeff. What do you mean by “ready to pick up at ypur nearest Wallgreens”?

  429. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:33

    I may be interested Jeff. What do you mean by “ready to pick up at ypur nearest Wallgreens”?

    I mean, “PayPal me $5, and in an hour or so, pick up a pre-paid 4″x6″ of that photo (or other kitteh photo you find and tell me about) at your nearest Walgreens. I have an online photo account, and can sent them to be printed at any store with a photo center.
    .

  430. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:36

    haha–Mariners are beating the Twins like the bitchez they are….W00t

    tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:19

    Mauer: 0/2, 1 SO

    L to the O to the L

    you are just begging for it now, aren’t you…

  431. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:37

    Other kitteh photos are available @ the catblog, of course. Any 4″x6″ photo print on photo paper for $5, in about an hour (older ones may take a little longer for me to find on the terabyte drive and send to your Walgreens, but let me know… if I can’t find it, I’ll issue a refund ASAP).
    .

  432. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:52

    you are just begging for it now, aren’t you…

    What do you mean?

  433. bbkf said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:56

    What do you mean?

    nobody mocks joe…unless they want to get junkpunched…

  434. tsam said,

    May 6, 2012 at 23:58

    Joe fucked me hard on my fantasy team last year. He was my first pick and he ate it all season.

  435. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:02

    Joe fucked me hard

    lucky…

  436. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:04

    Joe fucked me hard on my fantasy team last year. He was my first pick and he ate it all season.

    we’ve all felt that pain…especially when we had to lose cuddyer because we spent all our goddamn money on joe…but still, i’m a sucker for a hot guy in uniform…

  437. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:20

    Yay! Sold one 8×10 Curly print to Kansas City, MO, ready to be picked up in an hour!
    .

  438. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:23

    That’s fuel enough to get me to Murfreesboro and back, and Murfreesboro, again! :)
    .

  439. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:27

    4″x6″ prints = $5
    5×7 = $8
    8×10 = $12

    Any photo at the catblog. You PayPal it to me via the handy button, send me the URL of the photo you want, I’ll send the hi-res version to your nearest Walgreens, and you pick it up @ no charge, locally, in about an hour.
    .

  440. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:42

    I feel horrible so many people here are in such dire straits financially and I’m overcome with guilt have screwed with so many hard luck cases

    Buy a cat photo, you cheap fuck.
    .

  441. tsam said,

    May 7, 2012 at 0:47

    What? Whose livelihood was destroyed by someone on this blog?

  442. N__B said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:06

    Yeah Jeffraham, Pennis gives you his real name and the next thing you know he’s on board a flying saucer getting anal-probed and neck-slashed.

    IT COULD HAPPEN.

  443. tsam said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:21

    If you can get me out, you can get in. No check required.

  444. Cerberus said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:31

    Okay, which one of you did the Bloody Stalker chant in front of the mirror three times?

  445. Cerberus said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:32

    Also, mess cleaned up.

  446. Pupienus said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:32

    Joe fucked me hard

    HAWT! Do go on….

  447. Pupienus said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:33

    Yeah Jeffraham, Pennis gives you his real name and the next thing you know he’s on board a flying saucer getting anal-probed and neck-slashed.

    IT COULD HAPPEN.

    What, AGAIN?

  448. Another Kiwi said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:39

    I heard that there was anal probing here. What are they looking for?

  449. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 7, 2012 at 1:42

    Damn. I almost wish I’d seen Dennis’s latest crap before it was flushed. Why is masochism so entertaining?

    (OK, there’s the setup. Punchline please…)

  450. rosebuddear said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:02

    This one is for Rosebuddear.
    .
    OMG. Well forget dripping tears on the keyboard, that damn thing is gonna wash away.

    UNE, thanks for that. I got up early today and went out to Patrick’s grave, and believe me, that’s a haul from here, and I got lost a couple of times, just as I did last time haha. It’s a big long haul from New Brighton to Mendota Heights and easy to get lost and suddenly find yourself on the road to Mall of America haha.

    At least this time they have finally smoothed it down and made a real grave. The stone has yet to be put down, but the cemetery people assured me that would be done by Memorial Day. The last time I was out there, about a month ago, it was just a hole with a big mound of dirt in it. And trash. Grrrrr. If I ever find out who was chucking cig packs and coke cans in there………..welll………………I got down and cleaned those out the last time.

    This time it’s all nice and tidy, just a few little tree whirligigs and other natural stuff. Now just lacking a stone.

    UNE, that touched my heart so much. Thank you so much. I love that song too, although ha, it’s cheesy, just as all good love songs are.

  451. tsam said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:18

    Cerberus said,
    May 7, 2012 at 1:31

    Okay, which one of you did the Bloody Stalker chant in front of the mirror three times?

    It was totally NOT me

  452. rosebuddear said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:22

    ok I’ll bite. What exactly is the Bloody Stalker chant?

    Understand that I’m old and not familiar with all Internet Memes. :)

    It wasn’t me either.

  453. N__B said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:23

    I heard that there was anal probing here. What are they looking for?

    Jujubes.

  454. tsam said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:25

    Bloody stalker chant:

    Beetlegeuse x 3

  455. rosebuddear said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:27

    I see. I think. Betelgeuse betelgeuse betelgeuse.

    So where’s the guy with the little teeny head?

  456. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:39

    So where’s the guy with the little teeny head?

    sadly, we never get him…just pennis with his ginormous grudges…

  457. rosebuddear said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:46

    ah well…………….you do what you can with whatchou got. (Didn’t Donald Rumsfeld say something like that once?) oh crap

  458. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:48

    (Didn’t Donald Rumsfeld say something like that once?) oh crap

    i prefer the teddy roosevelt version: ‘do what you can, with what you have, where you are…’

  459. rosebuddear said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:49

    teddy roosevelt was a real person, as opposed to that Donald Rumsfelt Mario Bros imitation haha

  460. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:51

    heh…true dat…

  461. rosebuddear said,

    May 7, 2012 at 2:53

    haha…………..love you bbkf hope you and hubbkf doing well. I’ve lurked here for awhile, so know. Much love.

  462. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:03

    thanks…first we need to get through our annual check up with out daughter who has been cancer free for 6 years (!!!) and then next week, i’m hoping against hope that dr. dong (hee, hee) will have some answers for us…i just want hubbkf to feel better…

    i yak on here alot mostly cuz these people make me laff and it’s a welcome distraction from real life…

  463. Major Kong said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:05

    i’m hoping against hope that dr. dong (hee, hee) will have some answers for us

    I saw an ad for a urologist named Dr. Hwang (yes really) here in Providence.

  464. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:07

    I saw an ad for a urologist named Dr. Hwang (yes really) here in Providence.

    that’s awesome…how long are you there?

  465. Major Kong said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:12

    We got in yesterday morning and we leave tomorrow night. That’s a normal weekend layover for us.

  466. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:39

    have you run into any good food?

  467. vacuumslayer said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:42

    I heard that there was anal probing here. What are they looking for?

  468. Major Kong said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:42

    They have very good Italian food here. Also very good seafood, which I recall you don’t like.

  469. vacuumslayer said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:43

    have you run into any good food?

    Keeping in mind there are no Kobe cows around here.

  470. vacuumslayer said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:50

    Great. Tagfail fucks up my AWESOME joke about AK wanting an anal probe.

  471. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:54

    I’m pretty good at getting by.

    Jen i figgered as much, but just saying. It won’t cost you anything but a half hour of your time or less.

    Rosebuddear, entirely my pleasuure! Hugs sweetheart.

    OK major, I wanna hear about the seafood! as a landlocked midwestern born and bread, I like tales of food I rarely get to eat.
    :)
    .

  472. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:56

    Great. Tagfail fucks up my AWESOME joke about AK wanting an anal probe.

    Are we talking about Alaska or a 47? Or am I completely missing the point?
    :)

  473. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 7, 2012 at 3:59

    Just to reiterate… cat pixels for sale. :) Next three days only!
    .

  474. vacuumslayer said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:00

    We’re talking about the exploits of the famously handsome and charming Another Kiwi. Dude’s like James Bond, but studlier.

  475. Major Kong said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:02

    OK major, I wanna hear about the seafood! as a landlocked midwestern born and bread, I like tales of food I rarely get to eat.

    Probably the best thing they have is very simple – it’s called a Lobster Roll.

    It’s a lobster salad in a type of hotdog bun (split at the top instead of the sides).

    I have to get one every time I get to Providence.

    The clam chowder is also as good as you would imagine.

  476. jim, more foolish than literalist said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:06

    Provider & I share an interest in cosmology … & a deficit of the heavy-duty math chops needed to treat it as the SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS that it is.

    Back around 2004 I was doodling models of the universe/multiverse, & someone informed me that the one I considered the best bet to be correct was nearly identical to Hawking’s in one of his physics bestsellers … which I then looked up & confirmed.

    So, if me & ol’ RoboVoice are right, we’re basically living somewhere along the upper edge of a humongous ice-cream cone / tornado / Voltron’s PENIS.

    PS: Is there a Nobel Prize for Lucky Guesses? AFAF.

    PPS: Come ON, AutoCorrect: “multiverse” baffles you but “humongous” is A-OK?
    WAREZ, I AM DISAPPOINT.

  477. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:09

    We’re talking about the exploits of the famously handsome and charming Another Kiwi. Dude’s like James Bond, but studlier.

    Ah I see. I dig the cut of that antipodean’s jib myself.

    Probably the best thing they have is very simple – it’s called a Lobster Roll.

    That sounds absolutely delishious, though I will have to admit to having never sampled Lobster. I have been waiting for an opportunity to get closer to the source. I have however had a decent chowder or two, but hope some day to try the real thing.

    I am glad that you are enjoying yourself. Take a few naps between feeding and enjoy the summer breeze and salted air.
    :)
    .

  478. bbkf said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:09

    They have very good Italian food here. Also very good seafood, which I recall you don’t like.

    i would be all over the italian…

    Great. Tagfail fucks up my AWESOME joke about AK wanting an anal probe.

    great tagfails happen to the best of us…i share your angst…

  479. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:29

    Okay, let me sell plasma to buy gas to get to get to work and school this week. No, it’s okay! I really don’t mind.
    .

  480. Another Kiwi said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:51

    Studlier, but possessed of an advanced moral sense and and acute awareness of the subconscious sadness of the human condition. Kind of like Jerry Lewis on downers.

  481. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 4:59

    Provider & I share an interest in cosmology … & a deficit of the heavy-duty math chops needed to treat it as the SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS that it is.

    Why am I not surprised?

    I was in my teens when I coughed up the concept of the multiverse during a walk across the park while riffing on time travel. I am pretty sure that Sagan was to blame.
    My soon to be moved out roomie is a math tutor, and I have utterly failed to take advantage of that fact, and while after a half an hour discussing the basis of calculus I did manage to pick up a few hints.

    I was watching a show recently about formulas and immediately recognized G=mass 1 times mass 2 divided by the center of the distance squared between the bodies in question.

    That was right before I got into a string theory hole on the you tube. I might not be a mathly challeneged person after all, but damn I would have loved to have been a theoretical physicist.

    Welcomne to the club, Jim.
    .

  482. Smut Clyde said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:10

    I dig the cut of that antipodean’s jib myself.

    Always with the circumcision jokes. It’s a regular FORESKIN HOLOCAUST here.

  483. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:13

    Which is why I have started thinking about the wingularity in mathmatical terms.

    I was talking baseball with my roomie (we are both big fans of the game having grown up playing it. And one of th things I really hate about the Previous administration is that it took my attention away from the summer past time. And while i appreciate and understand that many could give two fucks as far as that particular sport is concerned, me myself and i love it dearly. And having it taken away during the summer of ’04 was in my mind, a self inflicted crime.

    I promise you that the bastards will pay. Apparently, My Reds are on a tear, something that i will now look into.

    I have spent a couple of years looking for a professional European Soccer team to root for and I think it is down to Juventus in the Italian league and Manchester city in the EPL.

    suggestions on the latterest regard will be taken into consideration.
    .
    .

  484. N__B said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:16

    FORESKIN HOLOCAUST

    Projected from a garbage-pail-shaped robot: Help me Obi-Mohel Kenobi. You’re my PENIS’S only hope.

  485. jim, more foolish than literalist said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:17

    It’s a strange club … we’re simultaneously in & out of it.
    Schrödinger’s Catbox.
    Oh indeterminacy, I just can’t quit you.

  486. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:20

    One game over 500 is not exactly what i would call a tear. and i will have words with the roomie tomorrow., but second place is not so bad.

    Go Reds!

    As a commie symp, I approve this message.
    .

  487. tigris said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:22

    Sheesh, Smut, if it’s big enough to use as a sail you really SHOULD have it removed. Even with roller furling that would be quite a pant load.

  488. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:23

    Always with the circumcision jokes. It’s a regular FORESKIN HOLOCAUST here.

    I think that was an unintentionially veiled circumcision joke Clyde. :) but I will grant that you have been the sixth threat to my computer today, what with the possibility of making me spew something out of my nose and whatnot.

    :)
    .

  489. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:29

    Schrödinger’s Catbox.

    This represents threat number 7, and while i simultaneously wish i had come up with it I scratch my head in awe.

    Nice work pal.
    .

  490. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:33

    Tank the FSM for rule number one. which has saved any number of computers.

    I like to live close to the edge, it is how I roll, but rule #1 has saved me a great deal of money and time.

    :)

  491. Smut Clyde said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:47

    Oh my, four years have passed since the original FORESKIN HOLOCAUST thread and I forgot to celebrate the anniversary.
    Suffice to say that a mountain was made out of a mohel-hill.

  492. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 5:51

    fwiw i think I might have fristed at Roy’s joint, there is a new VV post up.
    .

  493. Provider_UNE_ said,

    May 7, 2012 at 6:07

    i gotta say that this version of “Along comes Mary” on the smothers brothers show is brilliant. the opening is worth your few seconds.

    I am reminded a bit of the appearnce of the Who(favorite rock band of all time btw) wherein Moon had a negative impact on kieths hearing. In any event these guys also had a sense of humor.
    .

  494. Obi-Mohel Kenobi said,

    May 7, 2012 at 10:48

    I felt a great disturbance in the Forcekin, as if millions of skin flaps suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

  495. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 7, 2012 at 11:00

    Oh. Back to the original topic for a sec, namely the commenters at Dumb Motherfucker’s joint. Whenever I see one of those gangrenous choad drippings spool out their low-information “Nazis are leftists” Loededhoesen reguritrol, all I can think to say is, “Of course. because it’s just so obvious that this,

    First they came for the communists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

    Then they came for the trade unionists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

    Then they came for me
    and there was no one left to speak out for me.

    was written about a leftist regime.”

    Fucking idiots.

  496. John Revolta said,

    May 7, 2012 at 11:26

    First they came for the communists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

    Then they came for the trade unionists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

    was written about a leftist regime.

    The mind, she boggles.

    How goddamned pig-ignorant can you be and still remember to breathe?

  497. Cerberus said,

    May 7, 2012 at 11:29

    New posts are here again.

    I miss sleep.

  498. John Revolta said,

    May 7, 2012 at 11:30

    Then again, most of your modern mouth-breathers have certainly never read any of that.

    Or much of anything based in fact, I guess.

  499. Smut Clyde said,

    May 7, 2012 at 11:57

    I miss sleep.
    I tried it once. Much over-rated.

  500. Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    May 7, 2012 at 12:16

    I’ll say one thing for this JT Ready shitstain… he actually believed in the Second Amendment.

    Okay, his “militia” may not have been very “well-regulated”—- but at least he was IN a militia.

  501. Robert Green said,

    May 7, 2012 at 15:48

    i like that the left came for the communists. that makes sense. communism is left-ISH but not “of the left” saul alinsky chicago style board of alderman a nation of socialists national socialism high speed rail hippie commo-fascist liberal fascist libtardfascistgoraomfeoanoaneifainfaenfowf

  502. Eric said,

    May 7, 2012 at 18:26

    “It’s been literally 3 sentences and so far you’ve tripped over your own dick..”
    His legs are that short?

  503. Gag Halfrunt said,

    May 8, 2012 at 15:16

    I’ll say one thing for this JT Ready shitstain… he actually believed in the Second Amendment.

    Okay, his “militia” may not have been very “well-regulated”—- but at least he was IN a militia.

    Erm..haven’t you heard of the militia movement? J. T. Ready was hardly the only gun nut who “actually believed in the Second Amendment” and called his outfit a militia because of it.

  504. Older said,

    May 9, 2012 at 21:29

    Jeffraham Prestonian — Those “paper camera” pictures are very nice. Have you thought of printing them on notecards to sell? Local shops etc? (just realized I was considering buying one and making notecards out of it, but fortunately I thought “that would be unfair, he should do it”) Our local Walgreens is not really very local, but I may go there to see how it’s done and e-mail you later.

  505. eddie said,

    May 10, 2012 at 21:55

    AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    “Certificate of Perfect Attendance”

    hahahahahaha This means he made it through a whole year of school without actually learning a single solitary motherfucking thing. That is a genuine fucking achievement.

  506. JABbering Stooge :: Never thought I’d see the day… :: June :: 2012 said,

    June 5, 2012 at 21:45

    [...] Then again, he’ll probably still have his Twitter account from which to spew crap. And he plans to do guest hosting duties for his replacement, Herman “9-9-9” Cain, so there will probably still be ample opportunity for “rotten mango hunting,” as Cerberus puts it. [...]

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