Apr
30

Who You Callin’ Gay?




Posted at 21:36 by Tintin

Shorter Clay Waters, Newsblusterers
‘Homophobic? Maybe You’re Gay,’ ‘We Are All Nuns,’ More Left-Wing Fodder from NYT Sunday Review

  • Anybody who says I’m gay can let me suck their cock, er, I mean can suck my cock.

Over at Brent Bozell’s band of misfit boys, aka Newsblusterers, the winsomely handsome sex-bucket and man of my dreams Clay Waters was assigned the New York Times this weekend and asked to ferret out some examples of verboten thought to wave about on Monday for the benefit of Newsblusterer’s excitable readership. So you can imagine Clay’s delight when he found something in the OpEd section on teh gays. Woohoo! Job done!! Game over!!! Throw up a quick post on how the Times is sucking up to the perverts and then off to the Cheesecake Factory for double helpings. (And maybe a little action in the Men’s Room at the restaurant if he’s lucky — because who else but somebody sufficiently desperate to troll a toilet would even think about touching Clay? But I digress. . . )

And a Sunday Review opinion piece by psychology professors Richard Ryan and William Ryan used a single study (employing "semantic association") to elevate a common liberal taunt redolent of cheap psychology: "Homophobic? Maybe You’re Gay,which asked: "Why are political and religious figures who campaign against gay rights so often implicated in sexual encounters with same-sex partners?"

Naturally the most effective way to challenge a scientific study is to put its methodology in scare quotes, as in “they used ‘telescopes’ and ‘planetary observation’ to prove that the earth revolved about the sun.”

The Ryans then strung together a few incidents involving conservatives who opposed gay marriage (hardly a fringe stance)(Ed. note: apparently as opposed to a "wide" stance) over the course of the last several years to insinuate some broad pattern.

Translation: because Ted Haggard, Larry Craig and George Murphy, Jr. are the only anti-gay people ever caught with dicks in their mouth, you are not entitled to draw any conclusions at all from my continuously obsessing over how disgusting buttsex is. Just the thought of two dudes together makes me want to throw up, which means that I am constantly thinking of throwing up. You can’t get any straighter than that.

Okay, Clay, we believe you. Really, we do.

621 Comments »

  1. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:40

    I don’t believe him.

  2. Anonymous said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:43

    Clay Waters is an excellent gay porn name.

  3. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:44

    THIS LINK TO BUTTSEX IS TIMELY!

  4. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:46

    He writes for NewButters?

  5. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:46

    And vs. brings buttsex to the pristine new very-much-not-gay-at-all thread. Classy.

  6. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:48

    vs. brings buttsex

    She’s got to use that Tupperware somehow.

  7. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:49

    I am nothing if not super fucking classy. Buttfuckingly classy!

  8. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:51

    She’s got to use that Tupperware somehow.

    Makes BUTTSEX dishwasher and microwave-safe!

  9. Tommo said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:51

    Can you imagine Waters and Bozo-ell “doing it”?

    Now that deserved scare-quotes.

    I wonder which one plays the sheep….

  10. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:52

    Ban Tommo!

  11. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:52

    Microwaving the tupperware.

  12. Spearhafoc, who is not a spammer but would like to know if you'd be interested in these boner pills said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:52

    Homophobia is so gay.

  13. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:53

    She’s got to use that Tupperware somehow.

    So, when storing your buttsex, be careful when “burping” the Tupperware that no Santorum leaks out.

    Shtupperware also. Too.

  14. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:53

    I so don’t know why I started that sentence with “So, “…

  15. Pryme said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:53

    Holy Timing, Batman! : http://www.comicsalliance.com/2012/04/30/the-gayness-of-batman-a-brief-history-opinion-morrison/

  16. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:56

    Hmm, where has that Goddamned Batman gotten to, anyway? Check your tupperware.

  17. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:58

    Ban OBS!

  18. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:58

    I’m not going to surf to ‘Newsbusters’ from a company computer, so to relieve my curiosity, can the entirety of Clay’s arguement be summed up as “Nu-uh!”?

  19. Another Kiwi said,

    April 30, 2012 at 21:59

    As soon as she walked into my office I knew she was trouble. The classy clothes, the jaunty hat, her use of perfume redolent of cheap psychology.
    “So” she said, “Tell me about your mother”

  20. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:00

    “So” she said, “Tell me about your mother”

    First, tell me about the turtle on his back.

  21. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:03

    Ban OBS!

    She’s trampling on my freedumb of speechifiyication!

  22. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:03

    Ban OBS!

    What about GYNs? I, myself, am an amateur in that field…

  23. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:03

    The third glimmering that came to me that the rot was deeper than it seemed came in the year 2001 after September 11th,,,

    NEEDS MOAR BUTTSECKS!

  24. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:05

    Michael Brown should really get a good Photoshopping along the same line.

  25. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:05

    Well, I have to go, y’all. There are womb-babies to murder and traditional roles to sneer at. And I can’t do that here. Oh wait, yes I can.

  26. The Dark Avenger said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:06

    Is that you, Troofie?

    History repeats itself, first as Onion article, then as farce.:

    Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

    Shove the Onion down your friends throat.

  27. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:07

    Buttfuckingly classy!

    i was going to say tittyfuckingly classy, but it doesn’t really seem to fit this thread…

  28. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:07

    Newsblusterers and now a link to Clownhall? Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope. Nuhunhnoway.

  29. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:09

    The third glimmering that came to me,,,

    Nice try, but I notice that you didn’t add any BUTTSECKS.

  30. smedley said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:10

    The brave Sir Anonymous came to the right place for chirruping.

  31. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:11

    She’s got to use that Tupperware somehow.
    Makes BUTTSEX dishwasher and microwave-safe!

    It’s Tupping time!

  32. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:12

    It’s Tupping time!

    That’s where the phrase “a wolf in tupperware” comes from.

  33. Pupienus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:13

    I suppose “Clay Waters” – if that really is his name – conveniently elided all mention of the PENISmeter studies that came to the same conclusion? But then, I suppose “Clay Waters” – [ibid] – got a stiffy just from writing that column.

  34. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:13

    It’s Tupping time!

    Do. Not. Want:

    “Well,” one of the chaps says, “I think I’ll come back as a sheep next time… all those women and as much to eat as you can manage.”

    “Aye,” says Richard, who only speaks when there is something worth saying, “but remember that all the girls grow up to have a full and happy life, but 49 out of 50 of the boys get a rubber band around their testicles. And, at four months old, they turn into lamb chops.”

  35. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:14

    Actually, I do want the lamb chops.

  36. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:15

    49 out of 50 of the boys get a rubber band around their testicles

    On average, 13 of the 49 find this to be an enjoyable experience.

    So I hear.

  37. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:15

    BTW, does anyone know the original source of these nonsensical screeds? Where the hell are they from? Honesty time: I find them fascinating. The mixture of pretension, silliness, wrongness and hilarious guest appearances by the Strawliberal next door who’s always popping in to use the hot tub has got me HOOKED!

  38. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:15


    the left-wing Doctorow particularly predictable in an amateurish

    o rly clay waters? and your job is what?

  39. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:16

    ,,,used a single study,,,

    From the Grey Lady article:

    Our paper describes six studies conducted in the United States and Germany,,,

  40. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:16

    BUTT.

    Caption:
    “Ladies…check out my butt. I’m single and I’m ready to mingle.”

  41. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:18

    The brave Sir Anonymous came to the right place for chirruping.

    Is there sexier sodomy than anonymous sodomy?

  42. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:18

    “Ladies…check out my butt. I’m single and I’m ready to mingle.”

    are you dressing the dude in jama jeans?!?!?

  43. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:19

    BTW, does anyone know the original source of these nonsensical screeds?

    If you really want to know (I did, once — never again), simply choose a fairly unique-looking sentence from the screed and paste it into teh googolator — it’ll lead you to the source down a path of ultimate darkness.

  44. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:19

    are you dressing the dude in jama jeans?!?!?

    Hell yes! As you can plainly see, they’re the sexiest kind!

  45. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:20

    Also, I just want DK-W to acknowledge THE PANTALOONS.

  46. alec said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:21

    In all fairness, the studies ‘proving’ that all homophobes are super gay by plethysmograph is flawed in the critical regard that plethysmographs track physical arousal, which is often but not exclusively sexual. (This makes them close to useless in serious sexuality research.)

    All we can say is that when avowed homophobes see gay dudes going at it, they almost universally pop wood; that they will linger longer on such as the bonch and area of active penetration, transfixed in anger and shame; that sometimes, but not necessarily always, the lady doth protest too much.

    Sometimes you just get a super angry boner. Like a mad dog.

  47. DrDick said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:22

    That boy looks like he needs his buttplug changed. I am sure if he looks on Craig’s List he can find someone who will do it discretely for a modest fee.

  48. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:22

    PANTALOONS.

    People who get hot and bothered by Canuckistani dollars?

  49. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:22

    TEH PANTALOONS huh? How many divisions have they got?

  50. Another Kiwi said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:23

    hilarious guest appearances by the Strawliberal next door who’s always popping in to use the hot tub
    You think it’s funny? Just what until it’s your life

  51. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:23

    If you really want to know (I did, once — never again), simply choose a fairly unique-looking sentence from the screed and paste it into teh googolator — it’ll lead you to the source down a path of ultimate darkness.

    Ugh.

  52. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:24

    The World Trade Center attack, and many others of its kind, were acts of war by the most dishonorable and despicable enemy in the history of warfare: an enemy indeed that not only was unwilling and unable to face our fighting men in combat, but which went out of its way to attack the weakest, most helpless, and most inoffensive of victims, women, children, and civilians—and even then was not willing to attack the weak in a face to face match, but only attacking by surprise and ambush, without warning or parley, at targets chosen only for propaganda value, not military value.

    Sorry history; He’s just not that into you.

  53. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:25

    The actual research is pretty shonky and has to bring in all number of external variables like “authoritarian parenting style” in order to detect a measurable effect. Also, to test the subjects’ innate sexuality, the gay-themed images flashing up on the screen were wedding-cake pairings of guy-&-guy.

  54. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:25

    Sorry history; He’s just not that into you.

    History does, however, love tsam’s 1993 hair!

  55. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:26

    “authoritarian parenting style”

    Does that include sartorial abuse? AFAF

  56. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:26

    women, children, and civilians—and even then was not willing to attack the weak

    Women are weak. Interesting to know. Well, history dude, when you get a hole ripped right next to your anus giving birth I’ll be sure to describe you as “weak.”

  57. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:26

    hilarious guest appearances by the Strawliberal next door who’s always popping in to use the hot tub

    Worst pr0n movies EVAH.

  58. alec said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:26

    Nice beard, fag!

  59. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:27

    Does that include sartorial abuse? AFAF

    SHUTUP, NED!

  60. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:28

    the gay-themed images flashing up on the screen were wedding-cake pairings of guy-&-guy.

    They get hard from looking at cake!?

    Hmm. I am now going to need to judge cake differently…

  61. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:28

    Worst pr0n movies EVAH.

    Shut up. I was young and needed the money.

  62. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:28

    History does, however, love tsam’s 1993 hair!

    Only since it has been relegated to an old photo album that rarely sees any light.

    But yeah. History wants to fuck me bad.

  63. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:29

    which went out of its way to attack the weakest, most helpless, and most inoffensive of victims, women, children, and civilians

    In contrast to ‘Bomber’ Harris, who got a statue.

  64. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:29

    SHUTUP, NED!

    I was just wondering if Mini__B’s black turtleneck and jeans are going to turn him into Steve Jobs…

  65. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:30

    They get hard from looking at cake!?

    Hmm. I am now going to need to judge cake differently…

    DON’T JUDGE.

  66. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:31

    In contrast to ‘Bomber’ Harris, who got a statue.

    So did Felix Dzerzhinsky.

  67. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:31

    Does that include sartorial abuse? AFAF

    Pictures of the Steelers gear do exist. I have seen them.

  68. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:32

    I was just wondering if Mini__B’s black turtleneck and jeans are going to turn him into Steve Jobs…

    OOOOh, nevermind then.

  69. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:32

    They get hard from looking at cake!?

    Hmmm, marzipan and almond icing…
    IBIMB.

  70. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:36

    Dude’s name is “Clay”.

    QED

  71. Gary Ruppert said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:40

    IIRC, the original, classic definition of “homophobia” was dread of homosexuals rooted in one’s own repressed homosexuality. It’s only recently that the word has come to mean general disdain for gays.

    (I’m at work and can’t do more than glance at the thread, so ahem me if you must)

  72. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:41

    Gary Ruppert said,

    Nuh huh. I’ve read Gary Ruppert and you, sir, are no Gary Ruppert.

  73. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:42

    In case you’re wondering, Gary just now was actually me. Stupid “remember me” feature.

  74. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:43

    omg…mangoes meet the national enquirer:

    Nothing new here, the usual fact twisting
    Submitted by DontFeedTheTrolls on Mon, 04/30/2012 – 4:10pm.

    Using this ‘logic’ I guess Jackson, Sharpton and Wright are secretly ‘white’.
    And if gay is so ‘okay’ why the pressure by the MSM to keep Obama’s homosexual activity under wraps?

    Americans keeping their own earnings is a Civil Right! Demand your Civil Rights!

  75. N__B said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:44

    Wrapping the Obama.

  76. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:45

    DON’T JUDGE.
    Perhaps this is just a side-effect of the Google Image personalised-search feature, but VS’ collection of “erotic cakes” includes this.

  77. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:46

    alrighty then, scribe…are you going to contradict a certain ‘merly1′ who has this to say?


    A “phobia” is not the issue on 99.8% of people opposing gay rights, gay agendas, or gay lifestyles.
    This word, as misused, is further proof of the “dumbing down” of America.
    While I am pretty tolerant of other people’s ignorance,
    I dont understand why editors allow this laughable term to be used. Phobia? C’mon, buy a clue, people!
    It really discredits its users, from the start of any discussion.
    Of course, perhaps my intolerance of ignorance is simply intelligentophobia…who knows :o)

  78. Pryme said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:47

    To be an LA cop: http://main.aol.com/2012/04/25/condoms-in-porn-law-simi-valley_n_1456981.html?ncid=txtlnkushpmg00000022

  79. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:49

    but VS’ collection of “erotic cakes” includes this.

    Erm, Rule 34?

  80. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:50

    Clya Waters: a Sunday Review opinion piece by psychology professors Richard Ryan and William Ryan

    From the NYTimes:
    William S. Ryan is a doctoral student in psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

    READING COMPREHENSION: UR DOIN IT RONG.

  81. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:54

    by plethysmograph

    You misspelled “PENIS.”

  82. alec said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:55

    Also, all this talk of erotic cakes just makes me think of Ray Smuckles.

  83. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:56

    I’m betting you know what kind of cake this is.

  84. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:57

    Lamest Gary Ruppert impression EVAH! And no, the term in its original intent was not necessarily related to the ” dread of homosexuals rooted in one’s own repressed homosexuality.” That just happens to be the case for so many homophobes.

    t’s only recently that the word has come to mean general disdain for gays.

    That much is true, largely due to the way people – mostly LGBT people – have trivialized homophobia.

  85. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:58

    I’m betting you know what kind of cake this is.

    Cakefail. There’s no wedding-ring.

  86. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 22:59

    but VS’ collection of “erotic cakes” includes this.

    i noticed it also included a tittyfucking cake…ain’t that a bag of tits?

  87. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:00

    More like a pair of tits, but they could placed in a bag, I suppose.

  88. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:01

    More like a pair of tits, but they could placed in a bag, I suppose.

    this isn’t going to include a pit, a hose, and lotion is it?

  89. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:03

    this isn’t going to include a pit, a hose, and lotion is it?

    Um….no. Can you help me move this couch?

  90. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:04

    Mango: The Ryans then strung together a few incidents involving conservatives who opposed gay marriage (hardly a fringe stance)…

    A wide stance, but not a fringe one.

  91. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:06

    Um….no. Can you help me move this couch?

    Don’t fall for it, bbkf! Don’t be blinded by his amazing hair! It’s a trap! He’s just going to lure you in then show you his RATT record collection!

  92. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:06

    A wide stance, but not a fringe one.

    Fringe would make the stance FABULOUS.

  93. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:08

    Don’t fall for it, bbkf! Don’t be blinded by his amazing hair! It’s a trap! He’s just going to lure you in then show you his RATT record collection!

    I also deliver plumbing and fix pizzas.

  94. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:10

    Erotic pizza!

  95. Smut Clyde said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:11

    i noticed it also included a tittyfucking cake…ain’t that a bag of tits?
    And what appears to be a Cleveland Steamer.

  96. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:11

    Erotic pizza!

    don’t ask where they get the cheese…

  97. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:12

    Wah, 92 comments already?

    DON’T CHEW PEPPELS HAVE GARTENS OR SOMETING???

    P.S. I recommend this NYT link from E.L. Doctorow:

    TO achieve unexceptionalism, the political ideal that would render the United States indistinguishable from the impoverished, traditionally undemocratic, brutal or catatonic countries of the world, do the following:

    Using the state of war as justification, order secret surveillance of American citizens, data mine their phone calls and e-mail, make business, medical and public library records available to government agencies, perform illegal warrantless searches of homes and offices.

    ~

  98. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:14

    And what appears to be a Cleveland Steamer.

    FAIL

    Erotic pizza!

    WIN

    I have seen those where the chick opens the box is SO surprised to find a different sort of sausage in the box. Surprises me EVERY time. I never see it coming…WHOA, did I just say that?

  99. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:18

    Today in smaller, less intrusive gooblement. Sorry Tennessee.

  100. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:20

    I have seen those where the chick opens the box is SO surprised to find a different sort of sausage in the box. Surprises me EVERY time. I never see it coming…WHOA, did I just say that?

    *sigh* Obligatory

  101. vacuumslayer said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:22

    And what appears to be a Cleveland Steamer.

    Jesus. There needs to be an Erotic Cake Wrecks blog.

  102. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:29

    1: Get a box
    2: Putcha dick innit.

    3: WIN ALL THE THINGS!

  103. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:32

    P.S. I recommend this NYT link from E.L. Doctorow:

    Phase 5: ???

    Phase 6: Profit!

  104. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:34

    NEEDS MOAR BUTTSECKS!

    My little pony is here to help!

  105. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:34

    1: Get a box
    2: Putcha dick innit.

    3: WIN ALL THE THINGS!

    Related

  106. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:35

    Aw fuck. http://i.imgur.com/kPl3A.gif

  107. Another Kiwi said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:36

    Pupienus once again reminds us of the fun we will miss due to Rick Santorum dropping out of the race.

  108. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:38

    Profit! has been happening all along, O.B.S.

    In fact, while E.L. Doctorow calls it “unexceptionalism”, I can think of another word.

    “Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power.”

    - Benito Mussolini
    ~

  109. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:42

    Do you guys down there in ExExExExurban Portland get OPB Plus? Tonight at 8, SANTANA Live at Montreux 2011. Worth a watch, it is.

  110. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:44

    Today in smaller, less intrusive gooblement. Sorry Tennessee.

    Nothing could possibly go wrong with such a brilliant plan Tennessee. Good job.

    Talking Points Memo is best viewed with Javascript. Please enable Javascript to login and comment.

    It is fucking on you fucking lame ass idiot fucks. Just because you can’t make a fucking website that doesn’t suck Josh’s steamy balls don’t think you can me what “best viewed” means. Fuck right off you fuckers.

    Whew. I feel better now, thanks.

  111. bbkf said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:47

    Today in smaller, less intrusive gooblement. Sorry Tennessee.

    did you note that the dude who wrote that particular gawker article has the last name taintor? i’m sure that must be a gateway to something…

  112. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:47

    Do you guys down there in ExExExExurban Portland get OPB Plus? Tonight at 8, SANTANA Live at Montreux 2011. Worth a watch, it is.

    I don’t know, I’ll check though. Thanks for the heads up.

  113. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:50

    Profit! has been happening all along, O.B.S.

    Yeah, I’m just wondering at what point the brilliant plan stops paying off and they realize it might not be a great idea to turn a massive first-world economy into an uneducated shithole.

    Then again, the Indians and Chinese can start outsourcing here at that point, so that’s probably what they’re banking (swidt?) on.

  114. alec said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:53

    Yeah, I’m just wondering at what point the brilliant plan stops paying off and they realize it might not be a great idea to turn a massive first-world economy into an uneducated shithole.

    Build as nice a nest as you like, lay eggs as big as you like, and a cuckoo will still happily roll most of them out for you and let its baby finish the work.

  115. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:55

    Yeah, I’m just wondering at what point the brilliant plan stops paying off and they realize it might not be a great idea to turn a massive first-world economy into an uneducated shithole.

    Look at the GDP growth rates in China and India in the last 10 years. Yeah, they’re drooling at the prospect of going back to subsistence level wages (which is a euphemism for oppressive poverty wages). You know it fucking galls rich assholes to no end to see persons of undesirable breeding at their goddamn country clubs and gated communities. This is a sort of solution to that problem.

  116. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:55

    It is fucking on you fucking lame ass idiot fucks. Just because you can’t make a fucking website that doesn’t suck Josh’s steamy balls don’t think you can me what “best viewed” means. Fuck right off you fuckers.

    TPM is one of the reasons I have a quick launch for Chrome in my toolbar. Have you noticed that pages never EVER finish loading in Opera? Have you been able to comment using Opera? I have not. And don’t even get me started the place is basically unreadable on my iPad.

  117. tsam said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:59

    Nearly all of the websites out there are fucked up pieces of shit. Side effect of snotty, asshole hipsters coding and designing.

  118. alec said,

    April 30, 2012 at 23:59

    And don’t even get me started the place is basically unreadable on my iPad.

    Maybe TPM is doing you a favor there, you big electro-baby.

  119. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:02

    Nearly all of the websites out there are fucked up pieces of shit. Side effect of snotty, asshole hipsters coding and designing.

    Hey now! Web designers tend to be surprisingly nice people; it’s the people that hire them who are slick professional Mormon shitbags.

    And those people, when they care more about the solutions than the e-commerce, graduate to making browsers and apps, all playing merry Goddamn hell with formerly placid web standards for their own little unique snowflake reasons.

  120. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:06

    TPM is all short squibs now. There’s no reason to go to the main page: RSS does it just as well.

  121. Smut Clyde said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:06

    I see your erotic pizza and raise you a plate of maple candy placenta truffles.

  122. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:09

    maple candy placenta truffles

    ALL OF MY HATE

  123. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:12

    Nearly all of the websites out there are fucked up pieces of shit. Side effect of snotty, asshole hipsters coding and designing.

    Not the ones I build thankyouverymuch. But then again, I actually care about that shit and standards and building stuff that people can actually see and such as and also too.

  124. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:12

    Feminist
    Feminist
    Does whatever a feminist does…

  125. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:16

    All this exotic food shit! You guys need to go on a diet.

  126. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:16

    Hey now! Web designers tend to be surprisingly nice people

    You just know that qualifies for the obligatory:

    [citation needed]

    Right?

    I mean I am certainly not “nice people” — but I also would never call myself a “web designer” — I write software and build databases and shit, and these days that means I also have to do a bunch of boring web shit ’cause there’s nobody else who can.

  127. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:18

    Not the ones I build thankyouverymuch. But then again, I actually care about that shit and standards and building stuff that people can actually see and such as and also too.

    I use IE9 almost exclusively (STFU). WordPress hates it. I don’t comment on many places because it pisses me off to have to give up my email address and sign in to say something in a room full of people who should probably be kicked off the internet for dragging the intelligence curve South of the Mason-Dixon Line.

    I don’t know why there are like FIVE major browsers, and they can’t standardize on anything, and like what?, FIVE major programming languages? And they can’t seem to get simple things like a commenting system together that isn’t a piece of shit? Does ANYONE beta test anymore? Does anyone fix the bugs before the next release? I just think that since the internet has been around in a user-friendly format since the mid-90s, that they shouldn’t have these problems with websites. Some of them are still fucking dial-up slow. WHY? I had a buddy tell me that his company’s web server was running fucking PENTIUM II…Seriously, people, get with the goddamn program.

    Wow, I’m angry today.

  128. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:19

    I mean I am certainly not “nice people”

    You post on a liberal snark blog and I wouldn’t have judged you for the type to have a secret Bumfights subscription. In the wild world of corporate Internets that makes you Ned Flanders. Sorry, guy!

  129. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:21

    All this exotic food shit! You guys need to go on a diet.

    I been telling ‘em for years, but do they listen? They do not.

    I only haven’t posted a dinner menu because placenta candies outdo anything I could come up with (let’s say headphone cup scrapings + heat-lamp shrimp scampi + microbrew dry red wine).

  130. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:21

    Also OBS, that rant wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at your industry. It’s 2012. The internet shouldn’t be such a fucking jungle anymore.

  131. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:26

    I use IE9 almost exclusively (STFU).

    Tsam stands with the grannies.

  132. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:26

    I don’t know why there are like FIVE major browsers, and they can’t standardize on anything, and like what?, FIVE major programming languages? And they can’t seem to get simple things like a commenting system together that isn’t a piece of shit? Does ANYONE beta test anymore? Does anyone fix the bugs before the next release? I just think that since the internet has been around in a user-friendly format since the mid-90s, that they shouldn’t have these problems with websites. Some of them are still fucking dial-up slow. WHY? I had a buddy tell me that his company’s web server was running fucking PENTIUM II…Seriously, people, get with the goddamn program.

    And get off tsam’s gawdam lawn!

    Believe it or not, as somebody that’s actually been doing Internet shit since before there actually was a “web browser” — or web for that matter (no, “the Internet” is not just the web), it actually is slowly getting better. It’s hard to tell because people still do this stuff really badly, but the underlying technologies are finally getting better.

    It’s actually easy enough to write good HTML/CSS/Javascript now that works in all the browsers that it just pisses me off even more that people don’t even bother to try.

  133. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:28

    Also OBS, that rant wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at your industry. It’s 2012. The internet shouldn’t be such a fucking jungle anymore.

    No worries, I didn’t take it that way. I probably have way more contempt for “my industry” than anybody outside it.

  134. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:28

    no, “the Internet” is not just the web

    It’s also Web 2.0 and the blogospheres and the noosphere (which homestead) and agile little firms and Usenet and heh indeedy algore algore algore ENDLESS VOMITING, WHY CAN’T I STOP VOMITING

  135. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:29

    It’s also Web 2.0 and the blogospheres and the noosphere (which homestead) and agile little firms and Usenet and heh indeedy algore algore algore ENDLESS VOMITING, WHY CAN’T I STOP VOMITING

    Please vomit (voluminously!) on the marketing people — all that shit is their fault, not us geeks.

  136. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:29

    MORE LIKE NUTSCRAPE HGGGGGGGGUA G G G JESUS RIGHT THROUGH MY NOSE LIKE MY MOUTH WASN’T EVEN THERE

  137. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:33

    Sometimes I long for the days when the the internet (note small case ‘i’ please) was all lower case. Except for BIFFNET of course.

  138. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:33

    There is NOTHING wrong with IE9.

  139. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:33

    Please vomit (voluminously!) on the marketing people — all that shit is their fault, not us geeks.

    I’m afraid “us geeks” is exactly the problem, or more broadly “us”. You know who speaks for “us”? Eric Scott Raymond speaks for “us”.

    Any “us” that could not, in theory, roast and eat “them” is not worth the air it breathes.

  140. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:34

    TPM is one of the reasons I have a quick launch for Chrome in my toolbar. Have you noticed that pages never EVER finish loading in Opera? Have you been able to comment using Opera? I have not. And don’t even get me started the place is basically unreadable on my iPad.

    I can’t be arsed to go to any extra trouble for TPM. I rarely visit, and certainly don’t comment. It just annoys me that they’ve got to the trouble of making a fucking sticky red banner that doesn’t scroll that is lying to me. They could have spent that energy building a web site that, y’know, works.

  141. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:37

    Eric Scott Raymond speaks for “us”

    LOLWUT?

  142. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:45

    LOLWUT?

    Less true, I will grant, than it was in my encrustling days, but my wider point was that subcultures are scavenging beasts and will eat your heart from your chest.

    I mean, what the fuck do you have in common with the Men’s Rights subreddit?

  143. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:51

    I mean, what the fuck do you have in common with the Men’s Rights subreddit?

    Well, I wish I didn’t even have gender in common with those fucks.

    But yeah, I get your point. I was being a bit of a dick because I’m not very nice and people like ESR and Richard Stallman generally annoy the fuck out of me. They may (or may not) have done some clever thing once, but turning that into a career travelling around the world being a complete shithead just kinda grates, y’know?

  144. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:55

    I suppose that once you’ve been called a “dotcom mogul” you should probably be hauled outside and shot. Fucking nouveau riche bourgiose assholes. I HATE THEM SO MUCH

  145. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:57

    I’m going to link it directly because it’s hilarious.

    It’s hard to know who is more irritating: Stallman, who refuses to use a web browser for political reasons the software world has left behind, or ESR, fat as a tick and thriving as a warblogger, still relevant in some tiny way to some tiny men.

    I think I go with ESR by a nose because he has a condition that makes him look like he’s constantly doing a racist impression and he thinks he can magically commune with the pagan gods to affect skillsets he doesn’t possess. If you’re going to be that kind of crazy, have something more interesting to say than “idiotarians are the worst!!”.

  146. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 0:59

    More concisely, the difference is I wish I could like Stallman and I wish I could get away with murdering Raymond. Both disappointing, but in their own way.

  147. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:08

    There is NOTHING wrong with IE9.

    Depends on what you need your browser to do. It doesn’t seem to do what Tab Mix Plus lets me do. And then there are the 15 other extensions plus Greasemonkey scripts.

    The colour-coded tabs bit seems like a good idea for me though.

  148. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:08

    it actually is slowly getting better. It’s hard to tell because people still do this stuff really badly, but the underlying technologies are finally getting better.

    It is…I’ll definitely grant that. But for some reason, there is this persistent tower of FAIL planted right smack in the middle of web that makes simple things like commenting on an article or ordering doors an infuriating task. I call it to the attention of some people and they brush me off or give me a bullshit line about not being able to do anything about it. I’m not stupid, I know the difference between a problem with my computer and a problem with a website. I don’t much like being told I’m the only person who has ever complained about a problem I see constantly at the same site.

  149. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:12

    Depends on what you need your browser to do.

    For sure. But I really haven’t hit anything that I need another browser for, though I remained angrily mystified at that abysmal support for FTP sites. WHAT THE FUCK MS?

  150. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:20

    From the comments over there…

    A “phobia” is not the issue on 99.8% of people opposing gay rights, gay agendas, or gay lifestyles.

    I actually agree with this. It’s not a “phobia”. They’re not ignorant either. They’re just bad people. They’re just fucking haters and you what a hater gonna do.

    But here again is classic wingnut dick move: We wouldn’t hate you if you’d stop being so….GAY. I don’t like it, therefore it’s wrong and since this is a free country, I’m free to take your rights away because GAY! See how simple that is? Like when the dishwasher doesn’t work and I have to smack her upside her fuckin dome. I wouldn’t HAVE to do that if the goddamn dishes were done.

  151. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:23

    Using this ‘logic’ I guess Jackson, Sharpton and Wright are secretly ‘white’.
    And if gay is so ‘okay’ why the pressure by the MSM to keep Obama’s homosexual activity under wraps?

    LOL. Another fine comment from what I assume is a very nice person.

  152. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:25

    Btw… today, I had my PENIS soaked by a faulty test COCK.

    That is all.
    .

  153. gocart mozart said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:35

    The twit tweets:

    Clay Waters?@NYTimesWatchReply

    Sexual Stereotyping Now OK at New York Times? http://shar.es/rG1A2 Claims Women Are Simply Better at Fashion, Managing #tcot

    [Some men are fabulous at fashion and Clay will boldly stand up for them]

  154. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:39

    I like the double gimmick of assuming the NYT has a liberal bias and then attacking it for violating liberal truisms.

    Like, maybe the gender essentialism suggests the NYT isn’t so left-wing as all that? Naw, couldn’t be! Just a conspiracy, against the menfolk.

  155. Comrade Rutherford said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:58

    BTW, Santorum.

  156. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 1:59

    [Some men are fabulous at fashion and Clay will boldly stand up for them]

    And he’ll shamefacedly bend over for them.

  157. WetWorks said,

    May 1, 2012 at 2:04

    There is a distinction they’re missing:

    If you just hate homosexuals, yeah, that does not mean you’re gay, it just means you’re hateful.

    Now, if you are trying everything to make sure that the entire world knows how much you hate homos, then, you know, people are entitled to draw some conclusion, methinks…

  158. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 2:44

    This guy makes my gaydar spin so fast I’m using it for a fan in my office.

  159. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 2:53

    L, as the kids say, OL.

  160. The MSM said,

    May 1, 2012 at 2:55

    And if gay is so ‘okay’ why the pressure by the MSM to keep Obama’s homosexual activity under wraps?

    Damn. He’s found us out.

  161. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 2:57

    Not that you asked, but… the TEST COCK story.

    Each backflow device has four test cocks (valves), and two shutoff valves. We walk into this place to ask when we can schedule a test, and they said now was as good a time as any, So, I fetch the test gear and tool bag, and Jeff asks me to run back out to the truck and get into the box of brass fittings and to bring some of the pieces back. He had found corrosion over the test cocks (which were galvanized steel — not for water, btw), and was going to replace the bibs on all four. He gets three of them out, puts Teflon tape on the new bibs, installs them. Goes to take the fourth one loose, and I’m standing behind him doing the paperwork. *PSSSSSHHHH!* The entire test cock broke off, spewing 40psi water in a quarter-inch stream right into my gonads.

    I think this was my hazing.
    .

  162. tigris said,

    May 1, 2012 at 2:57

    And if gay is so ‘okay’ why the pressure by the MSM to keep Obama’s homosexual activity under wraps?

    I’m OK with the gay, but mummy play squicks me out.

  163. RWW said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:01

    JP, now that’s putting your balls on the line for your job.

  164. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:12

    JP, you old son of a gun, you never told us you got a job doing gay porn!

  165. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:12

    Do I even want to know what “water treatment” means now?

  166. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:25

    Jeff (remember — I am no longer “Jeff” at work — that’s my supe; I am “JP,” naturally enough) said, “We won’t need the bucket for this one. It’s right over a floor drain.”

    Me: “I could have held the bucket over my junk, y’know.”

    Him: “Yeah, but that woulda looked funny.”
    .

  167. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:28

    Each backflow device has four test cocks (valves

    I’ll just take is opportunity to say one of my favorite words, PETCOCK.

  168. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:28

    I looked like a loser at “Edward FortyHands.” Soaked from crotch to ankles all down the front.
    .

  169. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:28

    I rest my case.

  170. The Tragically Flip said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:31

    I don’t believe Clay is a homosexual. Have to be human first. Clay doesn’t qualify.

  171. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:33

    We also had an attractive woman with tig ol’ biddies get on the floor on all fours in front of us, today.

    This job is… well, it’s something else, altogether.
    .

  172. Anonymous said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:52

    We also had an attractive woman with tig ol’ biddies get on the floor on all fours in front of us, today.

    well, i suppose…with all the talk about cocks and such…

  173. bbkf said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:52

    We also had an attractive woman with tig ol’ biddies get on the floor on all fours in front of us, today.

    well, i suppose…with all the talk about cocks and such…

  174. bbkf said,

    May 1, 2012 at 3:53

    oh, whatEVER, wordpress!

  175. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 4:03

    well, i suppose…with all the talk about cocks and such…

    This was before all that. This was at a payday lender place. Problem is, their backflow device is installed on top of the bathroom, which is a separate indoor building inside the larger building, in the back corner. Jeff told her the unit needed to be moved to floor level in the next 30 days (state regs), or we had to come back and shut off the water. We don’t carry ladders. She got on all fours to offer us a boost to the “roof” of the bathroom.
    .

  176. bbkf said,

    May 1, 2012 at 4:18

    she tried to give you roofies?!?!

  177. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 4:28

    she tried to give you roofies?!?!

    Imma pack condoms in my tool bag.
    .

  178. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 4:42

    Almost as good as packing tools in your condom bag.

    Hey, wait…

  179. bbkf said,

    May 1, 2012 at 4:45

    who knew the world of waterworks was so exciting?!?

  180. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 4:57

    who knew the world of waterworks was so exciting?!?

    About 85% of the fun comes from the redneck charm of the place. And my supervisor.
    .

  181. M. Bouffant said,

    May 1, 2012 at 5:19

    Icky.
    WARNING: Human Centipede content.

  182. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 1, 2012 at 5:55

    MB, that link was hilarious. I really liked the facebook thread about how she “loved the smell of my boyfriend’s colon on me”. The replies are even better.

  183. bbkf said,

    May 1, 2012 at 5:59

    twas indeed a good one, mb…i ironically linked it on my fb page…and yeah…who doesn’t love the smell of colon?

  184. gocart mozart said,

    May 1, 2012 at 6:03

    On Saturday night I was honored to be invited to the White House Correspondents Association dinner…
    .by Congressman Allen West on Monday, April 30, 2012 at 9:11am

    On Saturday night I was honored to be invited to the White House Correspondents Association dinner. There was much glam, glamour, and humor flowing. However, as I walked from the Washington Hilton in the rain to catch the METRO back to the Batcave, I pondered life outside that ballroom and the pomp. While the President laughs and dines, our Constitutional Republic is eroding and my countrymen are suffering. In this election year, it is sad to think that some of those who were sitting in that ballroom Saturday night laughing and living it up, are helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country.

    .https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=345653802154320

  185. Smut Clyde said,

    May 1, 2012 at 7:08

    There was much glam, glamour, and humor flowing.

    Which humour was flowing? Choler, melancholer, phlegm or sanguin?

  186. Another Kiwi said,

    May 1, 2012 at 7:33

    Is Santorum a humour

  187. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 1, 2012 at 8:27

    PENIS!

    I mean, I’ve gotten a twinge or two over a bike before, but this is ridiculous.

    Also, too: BMW’s sales #s soar…

  188. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 1, 2012 at 8:31

    are helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country.

    Yes indeed. What they should be doing is helping to expose the 78 to 81 Congressmen who are members of the Communist Party.

  189. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 1, 2012 at 9:23

    I smell like usher colon…

    That’s whatcha get for sittin by the aisle.

  190. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 10:16

    Is Santorum a humour

    Surprisingly yes. An excess was held to lead to compulsive masturbation and a deficit to lead to weird drag queen opinions.

    Its opposing element was blacockus, which made the former problem doubly easy to treat and the latter doubly difficult.

  191. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 1, 2012 at 10:20

    Courtesy of our friends at Balloon Juice we have even moar PENIS:

    Oh god, I can’t stop laughing. These reviews (Thank you, John Cole!) for Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml are hilarious:

    5.0 out of 5 stars
    DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
    By Andrew

    Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/04/30/open-thread-1303/#comments

  192. Smut Clyde said,

    May 1, 2012 at 10:55

    If “Unguent X” cannot be applied to knob & bollocks then really what use is it?

  193. jim said,

    May 1, 2012 at 10:57

    Clay Waters?

    I hear a little Plilliips’ Milk Of Magnesia will clear that right up.

  194. jim said,

    May 1, 2012 at 10:59

    Hey! Who changed that “H” into an “L” dammit?!?

  195. jim said,

    May 1, 2012 at 11:34

    Also, the WaPoop has now officially gone Full Liberal Fascist!

    David Brooks Wept.

  196. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 1, 2012 at 13:19

    Off to test the backflows… TACO TUESDAY!
    .

  197. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 13:47

    Plillips is the onomatopoeia of milk of magnesia.

  198. tigris said,

    May 1, 2012 at 15:45

    Which humour was flowing? Choler, melancholer, phlegm or sanguin?

    RAAAAAAACIST!

  199. TBP said,

    May 1, 2012 at 15:50

    We believe you, thousands wouldn’t
    We believe you, ev’ry word
    We believe you, thousands couldn’t
    We believe each word we’ve heard

  200. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 15:57

    Penguins are quite humorous.

  201. Pryme said,

    May 1, 2012 at 16:05

    Penguins are quite humorous.

    When they are dancing, yes.

    When they are kidnapping a crew of the coast of Madagascar or trying to kill the first-born sons of Gotham, notsomuch.

  202. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 16:09

    r trying to kill the first-born sons of Gotham

    COBBLEPOT LIBEL!

  203. El Manquécito said,

    May 1, 2012 at 16:23

    Penguins are quite humorous.

    It’s funny when they weep little ice cube tears.

  204. Newt Gingrich said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:12

    Penguins are fierce, dangerous creatures! They should be locked up in prison-like structures and I will pee my pants next time I am near one!

  205. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:16

    I will pee my pants next time I am near one!

    A surprising number of animals use this method to drive off predators.

  206. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:19

    Penguins is practically chickens…

  207. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:34

    Blogwhore PENIS

  208. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:40

    Penguins are quite humorous.

    And Penguins is practically chickens.

  209. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:40

    Oops! Sorry S. cerevisiae!

  210. Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:42

    He’s ClayBait, or maybe Claybaiting.
    .

  211. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:47

    The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing

    Bag of Agony would be a great band name.

  212. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 17:49

    While the President laughs and dines, our Constitutional Republic is eroding and my countrymen are suffering. In this election year, it is sad to think that some of those who were sitting in that ballroom Saturday night laughing and living it up, are helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country.

    Funny, he was one of those who were sitting in that ballroom. Allen West can go soak his head.

  213. N__B said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:26

    Is everybody out decorating a may pole* or what?

    *Veiled you know it, baby.

  214. tigris said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:27

    Funny, he was one of those who were sitting in that ballroom.

    And is a prime mover in the “helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country” industry. I know it’s always projection but JESUS.

  215. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:34

    Is everybody out decorating a may pole* or what?

    I’d venture that Clay Waters is.

    And is a prime mover in the “helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country” industry. I know it’s always projection but JESUS.

    He’s a lunatic, pure and simple.

  216. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:38

    Is everybody out decorating a may pole* or what?

    *Veiled you know it, baby.

    Well, I decorated the kitchen by cleaning it. Decorated the outdoors by gracing it with my presence. Decorated my crock pot by putting some semblance of a chicken tagine in it. Decorated my son’s bum by cleaning the poo off it.

    No poles. Shit, I haven’t even taken down my Festivus pole yet.

  217. smedley said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:41

    In my dreams, West is interviewed by an actual “journalist” who confronts him with a line-by-line list of issues that West has in common with Mussolini. Knowing that West is too stupid to realize what is happening, the journalist would then need to point out that West is, indeed, a Fascist.

  218. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:47

    West is interviewed by an actual “journalist”

    First you need to track an “actual journalist” down, they’re almost extinct. I hear there are only a couple remaining in the wild, mostly holed up in a tiny patch of rapidly-diminishing jungle in Borneo.

  219. kg said,

    May 1, 2012 at 18:55

    I may poll the wife on that question later. Outlook not so good.

  220. smedley said,

    May 1, 2012 at 19:11

    “I will pee my pants next time I am near one!

    A surprising number of animals use this method to drive off predators.”

    The fat-bellied Newt being a prime example.

  221. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 20:00

    As soon as I stop eating yogurt-covered pretzels, I’m going to write a note to myself reminding me not to eat yogurt-covered pretzels.

  222. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 20:07

    BUTTSECKS!

  223. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 20:43

    Today’s lunch menu is a carefully crafted mixture of beans, cheese, and rice lovingly wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla and warmed to perfection in the office microwave. Accompanying drink is filtered water from the office water cooler. After a brief rest, dessert will be a mellow five mile run.

  224. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 20:44

    Oh, and happy May Day! Hug a labor leader today — if you can find one.

  225. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:02

    I once saw a business card that read:

    Hurray hurray, it’s the first of May
    Outdoor screwing starts today!

  226. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:06

    Hurray hurray, it’s the first of May
    Outdoor screwing starts today!

    Hmm, it still seems a bit chilly for that ’round these parts. And rainy.

  227. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:11

    Today’s lunch menu:

    Brucchi’s Bacon Cheddar Steak sub.

    I can actually FEEL the plaque closing in on my arteries.

  228. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:12

    Indoor, outdoor, backdoor–it’s all screwing. I don’t know what this first of May shit’s all about.

  229. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:14

    Oh, and happy May Day! Hug a labor leader today — if you can find one.

    I just talked to a union shop steward and wished him a happy May Day. But there was no hug. It would have felt awkward after the last time he rebuffed my attempts to hug him. APPARENTLY it’s not polite to hug from behind. Whatever.

  230. DAS said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:23

    Completely OT, but my students and I are wondering: is it possible to give a talk about “Hartree-Fock calculations involved in QM/MD simulations of Schiff base formation” without slipping up?

  231. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:24

    “Hardy fuck calculations involved in S&M simulations of shitfaced formulation” does just roll off the tongue easier.

  232. DAS said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:40

    Now, I’ll be able to identify any Sadly, NOer IRL (at least all who are at the next ACS meeting): I’ll just go to the session on organic reaction mechanisms and those of you who break out in hysterics at any mention of Hartree-Fock calculations, QM/MM simulations or Schiff-base intermediates — well, I’ll know who you are ;)

  233. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 21:44

    Beans from Saturdays dinner (I always make a huge batch) and toasted sourdough bread with butter.

    I’m working on a new post, really I am. Have to take Bagoas to the salon this afternoon so maybe by this evening. NOT PROMISING A DAMN THING.

  234. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:00

    NOT PROMISING A DAMN THING

    Well, I can promise you that a buncha people are tapping their feet waiting. And waiting… and waiting…… (No pressure or anything, nope, not at all.)

  235. Suezboo said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:07

    Like Marion says, no pressure, no, no, never.. it’s just..it’s been a month and I still don’t know how to make an omelette. So, if you could possibly see your way clear …. but……..in your own time, of course.
    No pressure..tsk, the very idea.

  236. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:10

    I’m working on a new post, really I am.

    And you call yourself a purveyor of food porn?

  237. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:15

    Oh, and happy May Day! Hug a labor leader today — if you can find one.

    I’m in ALPA, does that count?

  238. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:18

    Unlike some of you, I take my fake Internet job seriously.

    A sample:

    .

    The depths of sexual degradation.

    Oooooooo! Do tell! I’m schadenfreude-moist already!!

  239. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:21

    I’m in ALPA, does that count?

    Sure, why not:

    [HUG]

  240. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:24

    I still don’t know how to make an omelette

    I’m fairly certain there’s been an omelette recipe somewhere in Sadly history. Of course it probably contained dire wolf tail and psionic giant mole tongue, so you may not want to follow that. Probably had clamato and cilantro also. And too.

  241. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:37

    Omelettes are as simple as they are unrewarding. You just scramble up the eggs and the liquid ingredients (milk, cheese, clamato, etc) and then cook it under a cover and low heat until firm on the bottom and semi-liquid on top, then scramble/toss in solid ingredients (olives, cilantro, diced dire wolf tail) and flip it, then re-cover and cook until completely firm and rubbery and worthless.

    Why not make a scramble instead? Everyone loves a good scramble.

    For your eggs.

  242. Golem Heart said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:39

    “Of course, perhaps my intolerance of ignorance is simply intelligentophobia…who knows :o)”–merly1 [where?]

    Truly mind-bottling.

  243. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:49

    But cilantro rules.

  244. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:51

    Can’t make an omelette without dicing a few dire wolf tails.

  245. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:52

    Last night’s food RPONx

    Shrimp, fried in olive oil with a hefty coating of a spice called Pico De Gallo. Rice with chicken/tomato bullion boiled up in that motherfucker. Guacamole (HOMEFUCKINGMADE, naturally) with lots of cilantro mixed in. Cheddarjack, sour cream and freshly sliced tomatoes for a fucking orgasm inducing burrito.

    I’m figuring out this cooking business, little by little.

  246. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:56

    cilantro rules

    For some reason just about the only time I use cilantro is on fish tacos. But for them, I think it’s essential.

  247. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:57

    Dyre Wolf does NOT approve.

  248. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:58

    Shrimp, fried in olive oil with a hefty coating of a spice called Pico De Gallo. Rice with chicken/tomato bullion boiled up in that motherfucker. Guacamole (HOMEFUCKINGMADE, naturally) with lots of cilantro mixed in. Cheddarjack, sour cream and freshly sliced tomatoes for a fucking orgasm inducing burrito.

    Eugh. Four separate bland fats, chicken/shrimp, cheddar and jack in a burrito with two white meats and avocado, extra cilantro and tomato? To each his own, but I think I’d prefer to chew up and swallow Ibuprofen.

  249. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:58

    For some reason just about the only time I use cilantro is on fish tacos. But for them, I think it’s essential.

    Mmmmm yes. It also mixes spectactularly well with thai peanut sauce, chicken, jasmine rice and fresh spinach.

  250. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 22:59

    Eugh. Four separate bland fats, chicken/shrimp, cheddar and jack in a burrito with two white meats and avocado, extra cilantro and tomato? To each his own, but I think I’d prefer to chew up and swallow Ibuprofen.

    Are you Canadian or something?

  251. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:00

    I’d prefer to chew up and swallow Ibuprofen

    No, ibuprofen goes better with the psionic giant mole tongue.

  252. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:01

    I only count one white meat. Which one did I miss?

    What the fuck is a bland fat? Chedder AND jack are like peas and carrots, dawg.

  253. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:01

    You gotta balance those components. I do not truck with the modern fusiony trend of just slorping everything in the fridge on a burrito and then tying it off in a sphere; I am a Southwestern food chauvinist and we do not abide bullshit.

    Choose a vegetable – rice with anything special done to it is a vegetable – and choose a meat, and choose a fat, and choose a filler, and you’ve got a burrito. More than that and you’ve got a Finisher’s Power Plate.

  254. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:02

    Why you gotta be getting down on my food pr0n?

  255. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:04

    rice with anything special done to it is a vegetable

    I believe I’ve said this to you before, but:

    LOLWUT?

  256. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:06

    I only count one white meat. Which one did I miss?

    Shrimp and chicken go together? Really? What hell planet is this?

    What the fuck is a bland fat?

    Chicken is bland, and the kind of cheddar that gets mixed with jack cheese is bland. Sour cream is, on balance, bland; so is avocado. I don’t know how you handmake guacamole, but given your track record I expect to find sweet butter and mayonnaise in it.

    ‘Bland’ is not intrinsically bad in food like it is in people, but you’ve got too much of it, over a substrate of Spanish Rice lite, and to my mind that sounds like chewing through a pillow.

    At least have the decency to use black beans as a filler the next time you’re embarking on a massive Goddamn fat orgy.

    Chedder AND jack are like peas and carrots, dawg.

    Which is why they sell them in a plastic zip in the supermarket, yes.

  257. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:07

    I believe I’ve said this to you before, but:

    LOLWUT?

    And I’ve said this before: Oregonians know nothing about decent Mexican food. The first time I came here, I encountered a restaurant called “Taco Time” which attempted to sell me tater tots – and not decent tater tots, little circular fatty ones like you find in the worse supermarkets – as “Mexifries”.

    Keep away from our food! And our womenfolk! And off of our lawn!!

  258. Suezboo said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:07

    Sounds delish, tsam.
    Alec, you’re getting a mite strident there, fella.

  259. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:08

    Alec, you’re getting a mite strident there, fella.

    Extremism in the defense of burritos is no vice! Moderation in the pursuit of decent Mexican fusion is no virtue!

  260. Smut Clyde said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:10

    Plillips is the onomatopoeia of milk of magnesia.
    Philips Screwdrivers are the worst cocktail EVAH.

    I’m in ALPA, does that count?
    Apparently Major Kong is covered in dog food. WAY too much information.

    “Hartree-Fock calculations involved in QM/MD simulations of Schiff base formation”
    My research speciality used to be ‘degenerate perturbation theory’. Not just a tool for QM, but a whole way of life!

  261. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:19

    I still don’t know how to make an omelette

    This is how I make them:

    1. Beat together 2 eggs, about a tbsp of milk and a pinch of salt

    2. Heat a skillet on medium-low to medium heat. Give it a very light coating of butter or olive oil. This is about the one time I use a non-stick pan.

    3. Pour the egg mixture into the pan and give it a little swirl until it’s even.

    4. When the eggs start to firm up, but are still a little runny, add your ingredients to one half of the pan.

    I tend to be minimalist and only use two or three things in an omelette. Normally I use some kind of cheese that melts (cheddar, gruyere, chevre, fontina, brie are all good). Don’t load it down too heavily.

    5. Take a spatula and carefully lift up one corner of the eggs – they should be firm and just slightly brown on the bottom. Very carefully fold the half without any ingredients over the other half.

    6. Let it cook for maybe another minute to melt the cheese.

    7. Very carefully lift or slide it onto a plate.

  262. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:19

    You’re a combative little shit, aren’t you?

  263. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:20

    *Alec, not you, Major

  264. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:21

    Apparently Major Kong is covered in dog food. WAY too much information.

    A friend is requesting pictures. Don’t know what that’s about.

  265. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:21

    alec – At the risk of starting a fight, aren’t burritos more Tex-Mex than real Mexican?

    I’ve been to Monterrey and Guadalajara, and I don’t recall seeing burritos so much, mostly tacos.

  266. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:25

    A friend is requesting pictures. Don’t know what that’s about.

    You can subscribe to my newsletter….

    ALPA = “AirLine Pilots Association”

  267. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:30

    ALPA = “AirLine Pilots Association”

    How many convention centers have banned you? All the major ones, I hope.

  268. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:30

    You’re a combative little shit, aren’t you?

    …yes?

    I mean, seriously, you want less fat and more protein in that burrito, unless you’ve just loaded it with shrimp. This is my fundamental point. Sorry to have put it a little bluntly but Sadly is like 3/4 food porn anymore and I wasn’t joking when I said the way you described that thing made it sound like biting into an oily pillow. Most of the time the bullshit food talk flies over my head (I don’t do anything especially nice with food) but I can’t really help but respond to blasphemy.

    But “combative little shit” pretty much describes me perfectly, considering that I am (at least in this context) surrounded by people twice my age and tired of everything except making food with everything in their crisper and bragging about it.

    alec – At the risk of starting a fight, aren’t burritos more Tex-Mex than real Mexican?

    I’ve been to Monterrey and Guadalajara, and I don’t recall seeing burritos so much, mostly tacos.

    Absolutely right. I was using shorthand, but it’s basically indefensible – ‘authentic’ Mexican and horrible Tex-Mex / fusion both have their own virtues and vices and unique delights. I’m accustomed to the latter but the former is fantastic.

    Neither, as far as I’m aware, would abide buttering up and eating a tomato.

  269. Suezboo said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:32

    Major, you just answered my major question ! So, even in a non-stick pan, you still use a coating of oil/butter. That’s all I needed to know – omelettes ho!
    My mother taught me that in an omelette, nothing but eggs – no milk, that was for scrambles. Possibly a bit of salt/pepper only.

  270. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:32

    So why do you pilots cover yourselves in dog food? That seems risky when driving past kennels or Humane Society shelters.

  271. Djur said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:33

    Shrimp and chicken go together? Really? What hell planet is this?

    One which includes Thailand, possibly. Shrimp, chicken, and tofu is the classic combination for pad thai.

    And I’ve said this before: Oregonians know nothing about decent Mexican food. The first time I came here, I encountered a restaurant called “Taco Time” which attempted to sell me tater tots – and not decent tater tots, little circular fatty ones like you find in the worse supermarkets – as “Mexifries”.

    The NW quadrant of the country loves putting potatoes in Mexican food, it is true. Of course, lots of Mexican places got hamburguesa and fries on the menu, that’s nothing weird. Not just up here, down in LA too, and in Mexico.

  272. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:35

    I am (at least in this context) surrounded by people twice my age and tired of everything except making food with everything in their crisper beer and bragging about it.

    Fixxored.

    And get off my lawn!

  273. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:39

    The NW quadrant of the country loves putting potatoes in Mexican food, it is true. Of course, lots of Mexican places got hamburguesa and fries on the menu, that’s nothing weird. Not just up here, down in LA too, and in Mexico.

    You know as well as I do they weren’t fries – like a normal Mexican person would eat, or a normal Mexican restaurant serve – but weird potatoid relatives of fries served as if that’s what Mexicans thought fries were. It felt like I had stumbled into one of those movies where Jim Varney performs in blackface.

    My mother taught me that in an omelette, nothing but eggs – no milk, that was for scrambles. Possibly a bit of salt/pepper only.

    It interferes with the structure a little, but you can add basically anything you like to an omelette if you go light on it. That’s one of its strengths, and the strengths of eggs in general.

    It’s way less receptive to overloading with whatever you feel like eating at the moment than a scramble, which is why I prefer scrambles.

    Out of curiosity, because in my omelette-cooking days I never quite mastered this – what is it that makes them more or less rubbery? This was basically what got me to stop bothering with them.

  274. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:39

    I mean, seriously, you want less fat and more protein in that burrito, unless you’ve just loaded it with shrimp.

    Actually, what I want is what I like to eat in my burrito. I don’t really give a fat shit how much fat is in it or what sort of mixture of ingredients are in it. I like avacados, tomatoes, cilantro, shrimp, rice and cheese. They all taste good together. My daughter and I ripped this dinner to pieces. So I’m not sure how it is you’re thinking that I did something wrong. If you don’t give a fuck about the food pron then you shouldn’t feel a need to be all fucking condescending about it, right? And what’s with “twice my age” shit? You seem to like it here–so why do you have to be giving us hell about our age? Nobody asked me if I could stay 21 years old, because I’m pretty sure I would have taken that deal were it offered to me.

  275. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:40

    alec, don’t MAKE me come over there and slap you upside yer haid. You expected to get mescan food at a place called “Taco Time?” Boy, you got some learnin to do, yes you do.

    Also FYWP.

  276. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:42

    If we could get away from food pr0n and somewhat back on the original post topic: A Romney aide is forced to quit after two weeks because he has an incurable case of Teh Gay.

    A Log Cabin schmuck does the predictable equivalence thing:

    R. Clarke Cooper, executive director of the Log Cabin Republicans, a group that advocates for gay Republicans, did not fault conservatives for forcing Grenell out of his job. He pointed out that liberal activists had also criticized Grenell for working for Romney, even though Romney opposes same-sex marriage.

    “Essentially, he was hounded by the far right and the left,” said Cooper, who served with Grenell in the Bush administration.

    Can’t wait to see how Mr Gay Patriot will handle this.

  277. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:42

    Taco Time is fucking fast food–like Taco Bell. That does NOT represent mex or fusion in the Northwest, or anywhere else for that matter. Very few people here would call that anything other than El McDonald’s. Calling a Quarter Pounder a burger is a bit of a stretch too, right?

  278. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:43

    Autentico.
    Por Que No.
    Nuestra Cocina.

    Portland’s three best Mexican restaurants. Get thee hence, stuff your tamale hole and only then may you comment on teh fuds.

  279. Major Kong said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:44

    Out of curiosity, because in my omelette-cooking days I never quite mastered this – what is it that makes them more or less rubbery? This was basically what got me to stop bothering with them.

    You might have been beating the eggs too much and/or overcooking them.

    When the French make an Omelette, they don’t even brown it. I’ve never been able to make it work that way.

  280. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:46

    He pointed out that liberal activists had also criticized Grenell for working for Romney, even though Romney opposes same-sex marriage.

    The mainstream of conservatism doesn’t oppose gay marriage, they oppose gay existence. So yeah, we’re gonna have a problem with any gay person validating that sort of hatred by colluding with them.

  281. vacuumslayer said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:47

    . Four separate bland fats, chicken/shrimp, cheddar and jack in a burrito with two white meats and avocado, extra cilantro and tomato? To each his own, but I think I’d prefer to chew up and swallow Ibuprofen.

    I actually think it sounds pretty good. I’m not big on mixing proteins, but, hey, whatever floats your boat, tsam. If you and daughters like it, I say go for it.

    I think a squeeze of lime or some salsa wouldn’t do you wrong.

    And in no way shape or form is avocado bland. Not even plain.

  282. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:47

    This is how I make them:

    Needs more psionic mole tongue.

    Apparently Major Kong is covered in dog food. WAY too much information.

    Dog food is good for you, makes you strong and clever too.

  283. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:50

    It was a chicken and tomato flavored bullion. No chickens or penguins were harmed in the fabrication of this abomination that proudly call the Tsam Burro Burrito.

    I put burro in there because it sounds funny. Not because there’s ass in it.

  284. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:51

    Okay, you want “Mexican?”. Just about any food cart in town is probably going to be better than Taco Time. I say probably because I never have, never will go to a Taco Time. They probably don’t even have tacos as pastor, amirite? YOU CAN’T CALL YOURSELF A TACO SHOP IF YOU AIN’T GOT TACOS AL PASTOR.

  285. tsam said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:51

    I think a squeeze of lime or some salsa wouldn’t do you wrong.

    I put lemon juice in my guacamole. Does that count?

  286. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:53

    Actually, what I want is what I like to eat in my burrito. I don’t really give a fat shit how much fat is in it or what sort of mixture of ingredients are in it. I like avacados, tomatoes, cilantro, shrimp, rice and cheese. They all taste good together. My daughter and I ripped this dinner to pieces. So I’m not sure how it is you’re thinking that I did something wrong.

    So what’s with the defensive attitude? If your burrito was perfect, presumably you know I’m wrong.

    If you don’t give a fuck about the food pron then you shouldn’t feel a need to be all fucking condescending about it, right?

    I said it flew over my head, not that I don’t give a fuck about it.

    And what’s with “twice my age” shit? You seem to like it here–so why do you have to be giving us hell about our age?

    What’s with the “little shit” shit? I’m not giving anyone hell about anything – you, I guess, about a single food item – but I turn around every few months and an obnoxious old man whose name ends in a string of numbers has driven away more and more people – you know, the combative little shits – and then I do a grody mouth about the incessant stream of food porn and all of a sudden it’s “little shit” this and “little shit” that.

    You wanna talk news and politics, we can talk news and politics. You wanna talk food, I guess we can talk food. You wanna talk age, we can talk age. In the words of the great philosopher of our age, don’t start shit, won’t be shit.

    alec, don’t MAKE me come over there and slap you upside yer haid. You expected to get mescan food at a place called “Taco Time?” Boy, you got some learnin to do, yes you do.

    You’ve discovered the fundamental problem here – I really should have known better, shouldn’t I?

  287. Djur said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:53

    Out of curiosity, because in my omelette-cooking days I never quite mastered this – what is it that makes them more or less rubbery?

    Being overcooked makes eggs rubbery.

  288. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:54

    They probably don’t even have tacos as pastor, amirite? YOU CAN’T CALL YOURSELF A TACO SHOP IF YOU AIN’T GOT TACOS AL PASTOR.

    But you can’t call them tacos al pastor unless you cook the pork on a vertical spit…

    My favorite Messican place simmers three cow heads a day. I love telling the pretty counter girl, “Dame cabeza, por favor!”

  289. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:56

    Omelets, eh? I made, but have not yet uploaded, a video showing how to make omelettes / scrambled eggs in a stainless steel pan. Without sticking. Fucking pikers at reddit all said it can’t be done. SHOW THEM I will!

    I would not dream of trying to instruct anyone on omelette making when Jacques Pepin has already made the definitive video. Search the yew toob for “Pepin omelet” and prepare to be enlightened.

    I will say that you NEVER add milk. Cream is okay but never milk. They get rubbery when you cook too long or (inclusive OR there) at too high heat.

  290. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:58

    Search the yew toob for “Pepin omelet” and prepare to be enlightened.

    How thin do you have to slice the Pepin before adding it to the omelet?

  291. alec said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:59

    YOU CAN’T CALL YOURSELF A TACO SHOP IF YOU AIN’T GOT TACOS AL PASTOR.

    We should sue. I’m serious; no judge worth his robes wouldn’t see the cruelty in it.

    You might have been beating the eggs too much and/or overcooking them.

    That sounds like it. Maybe they need to go on lower than I’m used to putting eggs on, I dunno.

    When the French make an Omelette, they don’t even brown it. I’ve never been able to make it work that way.

    Lunacy!

    tsam: For real-real, I didn’t mean to step on your genitals here. I treated your post as if it came from the Sadly foodie hive-mind, and that was fundamentally unfair and lead me to be way meaner than I would have been to interact with an actual person who had done nothing wrong.

    I mean, I stand by everything I said factually, and seriously try it with black beans next time, but there was no reason to be that shitty about it.

  292. Pupienus said,

    May 1, 2012 at 23:59

    I put lemon juice in my guacamole.

    HERESY! Lime, son, it must be lime.

  293. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:01

    Bee shure too drank lotsa Corona wiff yer tackos on sinkodamayoh!

  294. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:02

    Autentico.
    Por Que No.
    Nuestra Cocina.

    Seconded, except for Por Que No, which I’ve never cared much for. Those are all expensive, though.

    My favorite cheap Mexican in the city is Los Gorditos, which has some of the best salsa I’ve ever tasted. Their food is good, too, but that salsa would make a turd in a bun edible. Or, uh, Mexi-Fries.

  295. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:05

    Actually lemon is fine and some Mexicans use it in lieu of lime. The Moar you know…

  296. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:06

    Here, god himself shows how to make omelettes. He covers bothe the “country style / American style” and the classic French. YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO.

  297. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:08

    Seconded on the Pepin video – these are some lovely-looking omelettes.

  298. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:08

    Los Gorditos is a pretty good taqueria. Their pastor is pretty good.

  299. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:09

    Actually lemon is fine and some Mexicans use it in lieu of lime.

    Hedgehog sweat will work in a pinch. Also.

    Psionic dwarf mole urine adds a nice, asparagus-like pungency. Don’t use the psionic giant mole urine though, it’s toxic. Too.

  300. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:10

    I do have a larger vocabulary but today I am lexically impaired. I not write so good tuday.

  301. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:11

    Actually lemon is fine and some Mexicans use it in lieu of lime

    Identifying citrus south of the border can be tricky, anyway. In the US there’s pretty much big ol’ lemons and little limes and that’s all you got, plus key limes and (now increasingly popular) Meyer lemons. But that clear divide doesn’t exist in nature and it’s not true in overseas markets. “Lemon” and “lime” are the same word, fundamentally.

    For example (as I understand it) the lime used to make a pisco sour is pretty much not available here, but it’s closer to our lemon than a lime. (I make them with lemon-lime mix.)

    So, basically, what I’m saying is that anyone who insists that a given dish or drink must contain lemon and not lime or vice versa is probably speaking from taste, not authority.

  302. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:11

    I dunno. Whenever I’ve been in Mexico and asked for lemon I got lime. When I asked for lime I got lime. When I didn’t ask I got lime.

  303. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:11

    What strikes me about the French omelette is something I’d hazard to be true for French cooking in general – on paper it sounds gross (unbrowned, gooey in the center, just chives mixed into the eggs) but actually cooked god damn does that look delicious.

  304. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:11

    Hedgehog sweat will work in a pinch. Also.

    Sure, but how often do I invite Jonah Goldberg over for dinner?

  305. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:11

    So the Right is hoping to pull a Rove and turn Obama’s strength (ordering the Bin Laden raid) into a weakness. Wingnut SEALs have begun the swift-boating, if I recall.

    I am really hoping Obama seizes this opportunity by the balls. So far, so good. The more they try to turn this into Al Gore inventing the internet or some nonsense, the more he can justifiably rehash what Bush, McCain, and Romney actually said before the raid became a no-brainer.

  306. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:13

    Don’t use the psionic giant mole urine though, it’s toxic. Too.

    If you prepare it just right, psionic giant mole urine is a delicacy.

  307. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:15

    I think they have another variety in SA too. I cant seem to make caipirinhas quite like the ones at, for example, Fogo de Chao in Sao Paolo”

  308. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:17

    So the Right is hoping to pull a Rove and turn Obama’s strength (ordering the Bin Laden raid) into a weakness. Wingnut SEALs have begun the swift-boating, if I recall.

    I am really hoping Obama seizes this opportunity by the balls. So far, so good. The more they try to turn this into Al Gore inventing the internet or some nonsense, the more he can justifiably rehash what Bush, McCain, and Romney actually said before the raid became a no-brainer.

    I just hope it goes away quickly; the more distraction from the fundamental issue (the economy is broked because rich assholes; Mitt Romney is literally one of those rich assholes) the better a shot Willard has at echo-chambering his way to success.

  309. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:24

    @Pupenius: Not being in the market for al pastor these days, I can only judge based on other criteria. I like their onion tacos a lot, their habanero salsa is amazing, the breakfast burritos are big and rich enough to subdue a hungry tiger, and they’re cheap, fast, and have outdoor seating (and they’ll carry orders out to the bar next door, too).

    They also have a nice assortment of specials. Lots of variety. I enjoy that for a place where I go often.

  310. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:48

    You guys are making me hungry for street tacos. Love me some tacos de carnitas.

    If you think the NW is a desert for decent Mexican food try Minnesota. They could use some real competition in Duluth, but I’m sure there must be a few good places down in the Cities.

  311. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 0:52

    While we’re talking about Portland restaurants, The Fishwife is walking distance from here and has the most delicious Goddamn clam chowder I have ever eaten. I don’t even like fish.

    Best fish, best food.

  312. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 1:02

    Los Gorditos is my goto for breakfast burritos when I don’t feel like making them at home.

    The Fishwife? Have to try it – I’ll go anywhere for good clam chowder.

  313. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 1:24

    The Fishwife? Have to try it – I’ll go anywhere for good clam chowder.

    They sell a 1-liter thing of it for $15 or little bowls for $5, takeout. It’s really delicious chowder.

  314. .Dennis said,

    May 2, 2012 at 1:35

    the more he can justifiably rehash what Bush, McCain, and Romney actually said before the raid became a no-brainer.

    Except it was President Billy “White Shoes” Johnson himself who said it wasn’t something anyone should be spiking the football for.

  315. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 2, 2012 at 1:44

    A thorough scouring of a certain catblog (like scrolling past the first cat) will yield a photograph of Our Hero, in his patriotic uniform.

    Almost age 49, working my first job with uniforms (laundered and supplied, of course!).
    .

  316. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 1:49

    Except it was President Billy “White Shoes” Johnson himself who said it wasn’t something anyone should be spiking the football for.

    The best I’ve heard it is that Romney’s people are picking at it because Obama, a civilian, didn’t have anything more to do with the operation than signing off on it.

    If he had, they’d be calling him a meddling, vainglorious fool. (And they’d be right – that’s not the role of the President.)

    But overall, it’s the classic Rove maneuver of pretending that presiding over the death of Osama bin Laden is a weakness. The worst you can do is spread FUD and the best you can do is get your opponent to act like it is and get on the defensive. Either way, you ‘win’, although at the cost of looking like a liar to anyone paying attention.

    Not a problem for Romney, who if nothing else loves to lie.

  317. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 1:55

    The problem with the Rove strategy is being the only person in the room who doesn’t get why this looks bad.

  318. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 2, 2012 at 2:00

    Dot dennis should apply for his own TLD, that way he could troll all he wanted in an entire unspoiled section of the intarwebtrons.

    I, on the other hand, am gonna go drink some yummy beer.

  319. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 2:06

    If you think the NW is a desert for decent Mexican food try Minnesota.

    Columbus used to be that way until about 10 years ago when (gasp!) real Mexicans moved here.

    Now we have surprisingly good Mexican food. I even have a couple Mexican grocery stores a short drive from my house.

  320. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 2:20

    That’s great, Major. I’ll bet there are more Mexican people down in the southern part of MN (the land of Hormel) than the north because the only thing that grows in the north are trees. I really got spoiled in Arizona and Sonora so I am all for Mexico retaking most of the US.

    Now I am REALLY fucking hungry for carnitas or pastor.

  321. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 2:45

    Oh, and happy May Day! Hug a labor leader today — if you can find one.

    i spent today surrounded by and learning to be a non-profit leader…duh, they are the best kind…

  322. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 2:54

    fish tacos.

    i do not think i will ever be able to convey the very depths of how wrong this is…

    for carnitas or pastor

    i would go for carnitas…pastors tend to be bland…especially the lutheran ones…

  323. The MSM said,

    May 2, 2012 at 2:59

    The best I’ve heard it is that Romney’s people are picking at it because Obama, a civilian, didn’t have anything more to do with the operation than signing off on it.

    Yeah, he could at least have put on a flight suit and signed off on it aboard an aircraft carrier.

  324. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:06

    “Except it was President Billy “White Shoes” Johnson himself who said it wasn’t something anyone should be spiking the football for.”

    If I understand correctly, you have no point of any kind.

    I’ll just spike this football and pull up a fainting couch for anyone that needs it.

  325. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:06

    Guitar news:

    NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Charles “Skip” Pitts, the longtime Memphis guitar player for Isaac Hayes whose distinctive sound helped define soul and make “Shaft” cool, has died. He was 65.

  326. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:11

    fish tacos.

    i do not think i will ever be able to convey the very depths of how wrong this is…

    Properly made fish tacos with quality fish are amazingly good. It’s more of a West-Coast thing. I try to get them any time I go to LA.

  327. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:17

    Obama, a civilian

    I’m sure a pedant could do something with that “Commander-in-Chief” part of the job.

  328. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:19

    Properly made fish tacos with quality fish are amazingly good. It’s more of a West-Coast thing. I try to get them any time I go to LA.

    i think the key is that you have to actually like fish…i do not like seafood at all…well except for tuna salad (only if it has lots of stuff in it) and fish sticks (van dekamps with a shit ton of lemon juice, salt & peppa and tartar sauce–from a jar)…

    i know i may invoke the wrath of the sadly food gods, but there it is…buth that compares not a whit to the knowledge that this is perhaps what hubbkf finds to be my most unattractive quality…

  329. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:21

    (the economy is broked because rich assholes; Mitt Romney is literally one of those rich assholes) .

    It’s like watching an ad attacking Superman for supposedly supporting the Legion of Doom that ends with, “I’m Lex Luther, and I approved this message.”

  330. Random sampling said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:27

    S. cerevisiae said,
    May 1, 2012 at 21:02

    I once saw a business card that read:

    Hurray hurray, it’s the first of May
    Outdoor screwing starts today!

    Obligatory

    Fill every gap also, too.

  331. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:45

    i think the key is that you have to actually like fish

    You don’t exactly live in seafood country bbkf. I didn’t see any fishing boats pulling up to the docks last time I was in Sioux Falls.

    When I’m on the road I try to eat what’s good where it’s good. If I’m in LA, I go for fish tacos. In Memphis it’s ribs. In New England it’s Lobstah. In your neck of the woods I go for a steak.

  332. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:51

    You don’t exactly live in seafood country bbkf.

    but i did spend a considerable part of growing up on the shores of byootiful big stone lake…i’m a coupla hours from sioux falls, but you are correct…steak here is some of the best…and if any of y’all are ever in the vicinity of the junction of mn hwys 7 & 75, i will gladly buy you one of the best steaks you will ever eat…

  333. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:54

    i neglected to mention that fish frys were mandatory nearly every week when we lived on the lake…my dad would fry walleye in a cast iron skillet over an open fire…they all loved it…i usually tried ‘just a bite!’ gagged and then eat a pb&j sammy…

  334. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:56

    fish tacos.

    i do not think i will ever be able to convey the very depths of how wrong this is…

    HAH! Now I have to make fish tacos and blog it. Patented grilled fish (mahi mahi, usually) tacos with chipotle lime crema. Using flour tortillas (homemade if I don’t have too many margaritas first).

    So I’m _trying_ to make a new post, really I am. Fucking blogger/Picasa won’t upload some pics. I’ve already had to muck with the html for a couple things. THIS is why I hesitated to do this blogging shit. The blogger UI totally sucks and I don’t want to have to relearn htmfuckingl.

    Also bbkf(?) – you asked a question at my place which I didn’t answer and now can’t remember what it was. … Oh, right. I saw that sauces book in an earlier version, thought it was pretty good but I never owned a copy. I’m a simple guy – I know the mother sauces and their main variations, and I am more or less familiar with the “modern” sauces but authenticity and shit is not my thing. I use recipes as inspiration, not direction.

  335. jim said,

    May 2, 2012 at 3:57

    This May Day marks my ninth anniversary as a working stiff.

    To mark this solemn occasion, I went & got myself a Eee Pad Transformer last night, & a wireless router today – I figure if I’m going to be stuck living inside a sci-fi disaster movie, I may as well get to enjoy the awesome techno-fetish action while I still can. The parsimony hangover from the previous marathon of unemployment runs deep: plenty in the bank, but I had to virtually cattle-prod myself into blowing some of it on a new goofy Interwebz Machine ( I’ve been meaning to scoop up this wee bundle of fun since circa OCTOBER ).

    Funny: I have to use a laser barcode scanner at work every night – & I kind of despise frickin’ lasers now … nine-year-old Me would be profoundly mortified for sure.

    Android/Honeycomb is sure some trippy warez & no mistake.

    Ah … so THIS is what AutoCorrect Hell is like!

    { insert Anglo-Saxon vernacular here }

  336. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:04

    You don’t exactly live in seafood country bbkf.

    UNTRUE! Walleye, sturgeon, muskellunge, pike, trout, smelt, Coho, … they got some great fish up there.

    During a business trip I went to dinner at a restaurant on a lake somewhere near Bimidji. I could hardly keep from laughing at the waitress’s accent. I asked her if the fish (pike?) was from the lake we viewing from out table. She replied with the sing-songy MN accent: “Oh I don’t think you can take the fish from the lake and put it on a plate.” Read that with female version of the untintelligible Swedish guy on Prairie Home Companion. I had to bite my thumb to not burst out laughing.

    Sorry.

  337. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:05

    Okay fine. That’s lake food, not seafood. IT’S STILL FUCKING FISH!

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    Er, I mean….

  338. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:13

    I have deleted a number of overwrought posts today, here and elsewhere, before submitting.

  339. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:14

    IT’S STILL FUCKING FISH!

    which still = ICK! i can’t even get past the smell most of the time…also, they poop, pee and fuck in the same water they live in…eww!

  340. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:16

    … Oh, right. I saw that sauces book in an earlier version, thought it was pretty good but I never owned a copy.

    heh…the only reason i own a copy is because hubbkf found it in the ‘free’ box at the station and thought i would like it…

  341. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:18

    also, they poop, pee and fuck in the same water they live in

    I’m not a farm-boy, but don’t pigs pretty much do that (except in mud)?

    I’d venture factory-raised chickens also spend most of their time living in their own poop.

  342. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:19

    Mahi-mahi is like the God of Fish. I get an erection just thinking about it.
    .

  343. Random sampling said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:20

    Ok, so maybe you don’t know me since I’m a lurker that see’s such Completion in the main posts that I’m only comfortable after 300+ comments get the thread sufficiently OT, but you should really click my youtube link above. It’s goes to a bizarre rule 33.5 (cartoons don’t count!) video of a Jonathan Coulton song pertinent to today.

    Yall seem to live in the Internet and comment on every website I read. I thought JoCo was one of you…

  344. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:22

    I’m sure a pedant could do something with that “Commander-in-Chief” part of the job.

    I guess, but in general Presidents don’t micromanage military operations and the wingnutteria claiming that Obama’s failure to do so is cowardice is predictable.

    i think the key is that you have to actually like fish…i do not like seafood at all…well except for tuna salad (only if it has lots of stuff in it) and fish sticks (van dekamps with a shit ton of lemon juice, salt & peppa and tartar sauce–from a jar)

    Oh thank you merciful God I thought I was going to explode. The fish taste is nasty, nasty, nasty. There are ways around it (lemon/tartar/pepper is a start) and some fish aren’t bad about it, and always take the opportunity to try things fresh, but come on, this is a foodstuff so prone to tasting like rancid asshole that more cultures have spurned it throughout history than spurned pork, which literally could give you death parasites.

    I mean, the ancient Norse preferred eating their dogs to eating fish. Their descendents pretend lutefisk is delicious. I rest my case.

    (Also, I’ve always especially disliked freshwater fish – the fishy taste is way stronger in them for some reason. This always made fishing, which is quite pleasant on various tributaries of the Colorado, kind of a wash for me.)

    When I’m on the road I try to eat what’s good where it’s good. If I’m in LA, I go for fish tacos. In Memphis it’s ribs. In New England it’s Lobstah. In your neck of the woods I go for a steak.

    A good philosophy to live by. I lived by the Caribbean for two years and I tried all kinds of things from subtropical bycatch (pro tip: parrotfish is literally inedible), and I don’t regret it. I think if I had stuck to steak and chicken I would have.

    Still don’t care for fish on the whole, though. Just not my thing. (Things that live with fish but are not fish – crab, shrimp, lobster, French oceanographer – I like okay but have to be in the mood for.)

    Holla if you are in Vegas and looking for a decent buffet, I guess, because that’s basically all I know. (The best ones are ones you get someone to comp for you. Nothing more delicious. Fact.)

  345. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:22

    Bookmarked for later, Random.

  346. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:30

    The fish taste is nasty, nasty, nasty. There are ways around it (lemon/tartar/pepper is a start)

    Hey, if you don’t want that piece of sushi-grade tuna it just means more for me. No need to apologize.

    FYI – the reason for lemon is that most fish are oily to one degree or another. The acid in the lemon balances it out. That’s why you see a lot of fish recipes that use citrus.

  347. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:32

    FYI – the reason for lemon is that most fish are oily to one degree or another. The acid in the lemon balances it out. That’s why you see a lot of fish recipes that use citrus.

    It does also break up the gross taste of bad fish, though.

  348. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:36

    There are only two kinds of fish. Very fresh or stuff you absolutely don’t want.

    Here in Columbus, OH there are only two places in town I will even consider buying it from.

  349. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:36

    I’d venture factory-raised chickens also spend most of their time living in their own poop.

    Above it, actually. Above a vast sea of it. They live in wire cages barely bigger than they are, stacked like bird condos from hell. Every few seconds one lays an egg, which rolls down a ramp onto a conveyor for packaging.

    I seriously would wish nothing worse for Hitler than to be reincarnated as one of those chickens.

  350. Magpie said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:41

    Pigs pooh in a corner, away from where they spend their time.

  351. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:43

    Ok, so maybe you don’t know me since I’m a lurker that see’s such Completion in the main posts that I’m only comfortable after 300+ comments get the thread sufficiently OT, but you should really click my youtube link above. It’s goes to a bizarre rule 33.5 (cartoons don’t count!) video of a Jonathan Coulton song pertinent to today.

    heh…oh, i clicked the link alright…and watched the whole thing…and then posted it on a friend’s fb page…they were suitably amused…

  352. N__B said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:43

    Above it, actually. Above a vast sea of it. They live in wire cages barely bigger than they are, stacked like bird condos from hell.

    Bird condos, hell. That’s Williamsburg.

  353. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:43

    And fish pooh in the Pacific freakin’ Ocean and then swim to another part of the Pacific freakin’ Ocean.

  354. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:46

    Above it, actually. Above a vast sea of it. They live in wire cages barely bigger than they are, stacked like bird condos from hell. Every few seconds one lays an egg, which rolls down a ramp onto a conveyor for packaging.

    indeed…after watching food, inc. hubbkf and i have nearly completely changed the way we buy food…thank dog for farmers and hutterites…

  355. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:47

    I didn’t think there were any hutterites left?

  356. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:48

    I didn’t think there were any hutterites left?

    oh, ya…there is…we got the lismore colony just up the road there…

  357. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:50

    and my last comment was posted with my best scandahoovian accent for pup’s benefit…

  358. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:51

    actually, we have the hutterites to the north of us and the mennonites to the west…

  359. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:51

    I had thought they all died out and weren’t replaced because they didn’t believe in having children.

  360. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 4:55

    I had thought they all died out and weren’t replaced because they didn’t believe in having children.

    nope…they even have schools at the colonies…sometimes they run in to issues with keeping the gene pool fresh, but they are alive and well out here…

    one evening our son made liquid spew from my nostrils by informing us that he had heard that the colonies needed some new blood and were offering cash for impregnating their wimmenfolk…he figured he’d be a shoo in with blonde hair and blue eyes…and then he made some joke about churning butter…i don’t know where he gets it from…

  361. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:00

    have i mentioned yet that the twins are fucking killing me already? it’s going to be one long titty-fucking season…

  362. Chris said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:02

    in general Presidents don’t micromanage military operations and the wingnutteria claiming that Obama’s failure to do so is cowardice is predictable.

    This despite the fact that according to them, the reason we lost Vietnam (only slightly less often brought up than “DFHs stabbed us in the back”) was that LBJ micromanaged the war and by picking out aerial targets himself from the oval office.

    Happy May Day all, also too. Currently celebrating by listening to the soundtrack from “Spartacus.” Workers of the world unite, etc…

  363. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:02

    mon dieu! gardy and his theatrics…

  364. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:06

    “LBJ micromanaged the war and by picking out aerial targets himself from the oval office.”

    That must have consumed alot of time. He picked out the ones we DIDN’T bomb, right?

  365. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:09

    He picked out the ones we DIDN’T bomb, right?

    Just a few more million tons and we’d have won for sure!

  366. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:11

    Correctly placed, of course, Major Kong.

  367. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:15

    Major, I think you are thinking of the Shakers. And yes, if you buy walleye in a restaurant in MN it likely came from Canada since there is no commercial walleye fishery in MN. You can get fresh trout and other Lake Superior fish since there are still a few fishing the big lake.

  368. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:27

    Of course I don’t mean to say that more bombs, better placed, would have won us the Vietnam war. It might be true in a limited sense I can’t bear to imply. The peoples of Indochina will recover, are recovering. We lost, though. Six of one… by some measures still in vogue.

  369. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:57

    Fridge full of very fresh produce waiting to go bad, and like normal, I can’t muster the energy or interest to do anything with it. Sigh.

  370. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 5:58

    Hmm. Port. Should I put it in my mouth? THIS IS A POLL.

  371. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:05

    Put that port right in your mouth. Drink it up. It’s good for you.

  372. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:06

    “Hmm. Port. Should I put it in my mouth? THIS IS A POLL.”

    Drink the port after this one answer, but also do something with at least some of the produce. C’mon. Whaddaya got in there. I can’t help you, I’ll admit, but somebody can.

  373. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:07

    Oh my lord. For fans of real fine novel ritin’ you gotta see this:

    With that as background, what follows are some Ian Wallace quotes from Vengeance Is Mine that seem to be offending some thin-skinned liberals:

    • “As a proud member of the NRA and a very strong supporter of the 2nd Amendment, I nodded my head in admiration of Tommy’s Remington shotgun and his belief in self-protection. With the current liberal occupant of the Oval Office and his allies in Congress and the media working day and night to take away our guns and ammunition, I sincerely hoped Tommy had more where that came from.”

    watch the dissection here: http://world-o-crap.blogspot.com/2012/05/douglas-mackinnon-bulwer-lytton-of.html

  374. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:12

    The thumbnail description of the book being that twenty years after ex-CIA operative Ian Wallace watched a brutal KGB Colonel ruthlessly murder the love of his life (and their unborn child),
    I hate when that happens.

  375. jim said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:13

    Fish talk reminds me of living on the Lillooet reserve & of the traditional native method of preparing salmon thereabouts … a process which involved burying it in the ground to “ripen” until the stench could put a vulture off its lunch.

    They said it was sweet … but I never had the courage to test this hypothesis firsthand.

  376. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:16

    Fish talk reminds me of living on the Lillooet reserve & of the traditional native method of preparing salmon thereabouts … a process which involved burying it in the ground to “ripen” until the stench could put a vulture off its lunch.

    Probably an improvement on the normal eatin’ on the average rez.

  377. John Revolta said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:25

    the twins are fucking killing me already? it’s going to be one long titty-fucking season…

    I! W? N?

  378. Chris said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:43

    The key to a successful blood vendetta is that it must be conveniently located, like a Denny’s, or a car wash. I mean, I’m all for exacting revenge on the ruthless killer of my wife and unborn child, but not if it involves getting on the freeway.

    I LOL’d. Good find. Mangoes from the book are ridic…

  379. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:44

    Woah, buried salmon sounds hardcore and that’s coming from someone who grew up eating fried whitefish livers and moose tongue.

  380. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:49

    Lots of greens. Collard greens, spinach, kale. Got some carrots. A leek. Boiler potatoes. Some sweet potatoes. Tomatoes. Asparagus.

    Parsley. Curly-leaf. What the fuck do you do with curly-leaf parsley?

  381. Golem Heart said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:50

    I wanna conclude that reactions to fishy and rotten smells are entirely cultural, but there’s gotta be a line in the sand. Can we tell between “oh that’s an awesome wormy cheese/buried fish head/cave-aged carcass” and likely death? Is fish different? If so, why?

    I have never encountered a stinky cheese that I could not smell deeply and then enjoy eating. In my modern environment I can assume that fermented foodstuffs are safe. So I dunno if it’s reasonable to assume that my nose knows. The deciding factor seems to be what the food was exposed to and grew into, not the strength of its smell. Subtleties, not strength, are probably informative.

    I can’t believe fishy island/coastal cultures are ever prissy about the smell. Sure, they can get it fresh and probably prefer it that way outside delicacies.

  382. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:52

    Alec, you need to be creative with commods when you live on the rez. I know a few ways to make hangover soup out of commods but nothing beats moose meat and manoomin (wild rice) soup.

  383. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:56

    I wanna conclude that reactions to fishy and rotten smells are entirely cultural, but there’s gotta be a line in the sand. Can we tell between “oh that’s an awesome wormy cheese/buried fish head/cave-aged carcass” and likely death? Is fish different? If so, why?

    I have never encountered a stinky cheese that I could not smell deeply and then enjoy eating. In my modern environment I can assume that fermented foodstuffs are safe. So I dunno if it’s reasonable to assume that my nose knows. The deciding factor seems to be what the food was exposed to and grew into, not the strength of its smell. Subtleties, not strength, are probably informative.

    I can’t believe fishy island/coastal cultures are ever prissy about the smell. Sure, they can get it fresh and probably prefer it that way outside delicacies.

    Well, I mean, you wouldn’t see fish taboos anywhere but island or coastal cultures, would you? Mongols wouldn’t have a lot to say for or against fish.

    I wouldn’t take the position that ‘the nose knows’; it’s common but I feel like it’s wrongheaded, because like you say a lot of things that smell very bad (esp. to people who have never smelt it before) taste very good. That disconnect does describe a lot of foods that people resist strongly, on account of how much smell is involved in taste.

    Diamond postulates that the fish taboo among the Greenlanders came from fish-borne illness among the founding fathers of Iceland, but that’s the thing – these things are never written down. The taboo is, if it’s rationalized at all, rationalized in the form of ‘why would you eat that?’, the way an American would react to eating horse eyeballs or whitebait or a Frenchman would react to the idea of pumpkin pie (apparently).

  384. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 6:59

    God, I love Pepin. How had I never heard of this guy? I would watch him sautee drywall in Pine-Sol.

  385. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 8:06

    Port. Should I put it in my mouth?
    Is there a storm?

    I wanna conclude that reactions to fishy and rotten smells are entirely cultural, but there’s gotta be a line in the sand. Can we tell between “oh that’s an awesome wormy cheese/buried fish head/cave-aged carcass” and likely death?

    Icelandic cuisine. That is all.

  386. Djur said,

    May 2, 2012 at 8:17

    Is there a storm?

    It would appear so, because everything’s rocking back and forth and I can’t stand up straight.

    Also, re: wormy cheese: I refuse to accept the idea that that is food. Presumably there’s some kind of hallucinogenic substance in the water in Sardinia that makes people think it’s rad to eat maggots.

    I say this as someone who loves mimolette, which is cured with the help of cheese mites. But mites are tiny. They might as well be bacteria. They are not worms which jump around.

  387. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 8:35

    Diamond postulates that the fish taboo among the Greenlanders came from fish-borne illness among the founding fathers of Iceland

    Should be noted here that Diamond’s postulated “fish taboo” is entirely speculative. Norse settlers in Greenland did not exploit food sources that would have been available if they had better fishing techniques, but there is no evidence for an actual taboo on the subject… characters in the settlement sagas are perfectly happy to eat fish when they can.
    Diamond dreamed up a just-so story about social dysfunction so he can reach a conclusion that cultures collapse because of social dysfunction. He does this a lot. He has ignored all the contrary evidence (e.g. the diets of Icelanders who supposedly passed on this taboo). He does this a lot.

  388. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 8:53

    Should be noted here that Diamond’s postulated “fish taboo” is entirely speculative. Norse settlers in Greenland did not exploit food sources that would have been available if they had better fishing techniques, but there is no evidence for an actual taboo on the subject… characters in the settlement sagas are perfectly happy to eat fish when they can.
    Diamond dreamed up a just-so story about social dysfunction so he can reach a conclusion that cultures collapse because of social dysfunction. He does this a lot. He has ignored all the contrary evidence (e.g. the diets of Icelanders who supposedly passed on this taboo). He does this a lot.

    You know the old archaeologists’ joke about how you categorize artifacts whose function you can’t discern versus whose use you can’t discern? (Ritual and ceremonial.) Same deal: while it’s true what all we have is a near-total lack of material evidence of fish-eating by Greenlanders, without any of the accompanying cultural data to tell us what we have is actually a taboo, it looks like a taboo and it quacks like a taboo and while certainly it could use a few more feathers on its ass to be a taboo for sure we might as well call it a taboo, because “duck-like absence of material evidence for fish consumption on the coast of a fishery by a culture with significant fishing technology” is unwieldy.

  389. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 8:56

    Or, alternatively, the working definition of “taboo” is “a thing your subject doesn’t do for reasons you can’t discern”. Diamond does oversell the certainty of a Greenlandic fish taboo, but outside of a trusted informant telling an anthropologist the exact religious reasons for avoiding a food or activity “taboo” is an oversale right out of the gate anyway.

  390. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 9:12

    because “duck-like absence of material evidence for fish consumption on the coast of a fishery by a culture with significant fishing technology” is unwieldy.
    [..] outside of a trusted informant telling an anthropologist the exact religious reasons for avoiding a food or activity

    I’m also thinking of the copious literary records we have from the Greenland settlements. Is there much in there along the lines of “The fruit of the sea thou shall not eat for it is abomination’?
    Is there anything from the Icelandic records to support the part of the just-so story whereby Icelanders suffered from fish-borne disease and memorialised their experiences as a taboo that they passed on to the daughter culture? If not, this is sounding like Marvin Harris-style vulgar material culturalism.

  391. jim said,

    May 2, 2012 at 9:16

    Why does David Wong HAET AMERIKA?????

  392. Lexicon Devil said,

    May 2, 2012 at 9:36

    “Quick! Go get a rebuttal from Foghat!”

  393. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 9:42

    If not, this is sounding like Marvin Harris-style vulgar material culturalism.

    Absolutely it is. Diamond makes a pretty good show of justifying vulgar material culturism – was the part in Collapse which reduced a catholic bishopric to material transactions in shipping so opaque in its ideology? – but that’s fundamentally what he is, and thus he is always going to have problems when he pokes into white people’s cultural spheres in the way one customarily pokes into brown people’s.

  394. A Passerby said,

    May 2, 2012 at 10:41

    Why is material culturalism—or indeed cultural materialism—necessarily “vulgar”?

  395. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 11:13

    “Vulgar” intended here as a qualifier, i.e. “specific form of”, rather than a necessary element.

  396. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 13:03

    Hmm. Port. Should I put it in my mouth? THIS IS A POLL.

    Finish your Port. There are sober kids in India.

  397. N__B said,

    May 2, 2012 at 13:16

    Port fortified with iron filings is an excellent treatment for anemia and vampirism.

  398. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 2, 2012 at 13:40

    Time to make the water!
    .

  399. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 14:31

    Port fortified with iron filings is an excellent treatment for vampirism.

    Then why would I drink it? I’ve always wanted to be pale, rich, patrician, sexy and a fabulous dresser. With an insatiable lust for blood.

  400. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 16:40

    I like fish. Especially halibut and walleye. Salmon too.

  401. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 16:54

    “As a proud member of the NRA and a very strong supporter of the 2nd Amendment, I nodded my head in admiration of Tommy’s Remington shotgun and his belief in self-protection. With the current liberal occupant of the Oval Office and his allies in Congress and the media working day and night to take away our guns and ammunition, I sincerely hoped Tommy had more where that came from.”

    Needs a “Dear Penthouse” preamble.

  402. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 16:56

    Hahahahaha. Jonah Goldberg goes on NPR to promote his latest book, The Tyranny of Cliches.

    His opening pitch for the book:

    “You’ll get a college kid who stands up and he says, ‘Mr. Goldberg, I may disagree with what you say but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it,’ you know, and the professors nod and the administrators say, ‘Oh, he’s going to be a statesman someday,’ and first of all, it’s just a lie! This kid’s not gonna take a bullet for me!” (NPR host’s response: a very bored “Mmm-hmm.”)

    Here’s the best part:

    NPR guy: “So your’e opposed to these catchphrases that substitute for arguments; you’re opposing making too many assumptions. I wanna ask about one that is commonly said on the right, though: ‘Government is the problem.’ Said again and again. In fact, you imagined, I think in September of last year, a speech you wished that President Obama would give, and the last sentence was ‘Government is the problem.’ Is that an oversimplification? I mean, you’re not against having a government.”

    Jonah: “No, I’m not against having a government. Yeah, and it’s . . . I don’t know if that qualifies as the kind of cliche that I am talking about. Um, because one of the sort of things I try to unite all of the cliches in the book around are ones that have sort of this progressive bias towards a certain understanding of the role of the state and all the rest.”

  403. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:00

    Well, to that I’d say “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention!”

  404. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:05

    Poor Doughbob, he’s so used to swimming in shallow waters, that a brief foray into anything deeper than a saucer causes him to drown.

  405. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:06

    Shorter Jonah: I only wanna talk about dumb liberal meanie poopie head liberals!

    BTW, you gotta check this out: Ugly link incoming http://houseofsubstance.blogspot.com/2012/05/pretty-sure-i-have-to-manipulate-this.html

  406. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:09

    Um, because one of the sort of things I try to unite all of the cliches in the book around are ones that have sort of this progressive bias towards a certain understanding of the role of the state and all the rest.

    Thank goodness the Tyranny of Clichés is opposed by the Small Government of Clichés.

  407. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:10

    Jonah vs. Piers was amazing. Jonah’s been whining for days since that Piers playing devil’s advocate proves that Piers is a liberal which proves Jonah’s point that liberals won’t admit to being liberals which is a cliche thing to do.

  408. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:29

    Could there be a tyrannical cliché in the category of “liberal” itself?

  409. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:38

    The right sure does have a lot of philosophical giants on its side.

    He’s mad because a Newscorp stooge didn’t offer to lick his taint for a half hour, which totally proves LIBERALS

  410. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:41

    Nanny State

    Socialist

    Freedom

    Tyranny

    (add your own right wing “tyrannical” cliches)

  411. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:51

    I turned the radio down and watched the Pepin vid. I am a better person for it.

  412. Pupienus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 17:53

    Rachel Ray, 30 Minute Meals. Jacques Pepin, Fast Food My Way.
    Compare and contrast.

  413. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:06

    Nanny State

    It probably doesn’t speak well of me that every time I see this phrase I think of a cheesy porn movie cover.

  414. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:08

    jonah on piers: eck…i have never heard jonah speak before…i think i have before mentioned that he resembles our hospital c.e.o…guess what? he sounds like him too….*shudder*

  415. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:10

    THAT’S creepy.

  416. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:26

    THAT’S creepy.

    i know…plus he’s even more of a d-bag than jonah is…manager’s meetings are AWFUL…

  417. tigris said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:40

    I don’t know if that qualifies as the kind of cliche that I am talking about. Um, because one of the sort of things I try to unite all of the cliches in the book around are ones that have sort of this progressive bias towards a certain understanding of the role of the state and all the rest.

    “No, see, I’m rubber and YOU’RE glue…”

  418. Chris said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:42

    “You’ll get a college kid who stands up and he says, ‘Mr. Goldberg, I may disagree with what you say but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it,’ you know, and the professors nod and the administrators say, ‘Oh, he’s going to be a statesman someday,’ and first of all, it’s just a lie! This kid’s not gonna take a bullet for me!” (NPR host’s response: a very bored “Mmm-hmm.”)

    Because hyperbolic figures of speech to illustrate the fact that you feel strongly about something are certainly not something that Jonah “Liberal Fascism!” Goldberg would sink to.

    As for the student’s statement, consider it the left wing version of every yahoo who’s ever said, written, typed or bought a bumper sticker with the words “You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers” – another case where well over half the professional tough guys who say it would shit their pants and collapse into a traumatized heap if they were ever confronted, in real life, with the full military might of a “black helicopter.”

    (Not all of them, of course. The rest of them would get to reenact that delightful scene from Men In Black with the redneck vs the alien bug. Hopefully, word for word).

  419. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 18:59

    This kid’s not gonna take a bullet for me

    He seems mystified that a kid in college wouldn’t take a bullet for him. He also completely misses Voltaire’s point. A guy who titles a book “Liberal Fascism” has zero concept of anything Voltaire said–in fact that’s a direct slap at Voltaire.

  420. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:10

    Jonah is running a “Tyranny” blog over at NRO. One post complains that conservatives don’t believe in “Social Darwinism”; another posits that Obama’s 2012 theme, “Forward,” is crummy. Therefore they are “cliches.” This simply makes no sense.

    His book does not set out to do anything except make “cliche” another Pavlovian pejorative for wingnuts to bark out when they hear things they dislike.

  421. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:18

    His book does not set out to do anything except make “cliche” another Pavlovian pejorative for wingnuts to bark out when they hear things they dislike.

    I can’t stand cliches either–take a look at jim’s link upthread for a fantastic list of infuriating political reporting cliches and tactics that let the reader know that everything following is bullshit.

    The problem with the right is that they perfected the art of it. The cliche is the perfect propaganda tool. It releases the recipient from any responsibility for thinking about stuff and knowing stuff–Hence the explosion of the use of the word “tyranny” among right wing dumbfucks. These spoiled fucking brats have no clue what tyranny is.

  422. jim said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:20

    Jonah Goldberg goes on NPR to promote his latest book

    Jesus, what a mealy-mouthed little fucker. Generalization, qualifier, generalization, qualifier, lather, rinse, repeat. But the fact that liberals keep getting shit right over & over whereas conservative praxis creates one predictable clusterfuck after another has no merit because ARGUING IS PATRIOTISM (it magically stopped being “aiding teh terrorists” as of January 2009) even if the argument on one side is toxic or meaningless.

    Yeah, nobody on the right supports Social Darwinism … as long as you ignore about half the stuff on Free Republic … or PowerLine … or HotAir … or NRO … or actual policies like the Ryan Budget for that matter. Oh, & that kid on campus who says “I may disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it” might indeed take a bullet (or an IED) defending Loadpants’ right to get paid to be a prevaricating man-whore for the Fortune 500.

  423. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:23

    That “Forward” post is a marvellous mish-mash:

    Victor Morgan over at the Washington Times has a short precis on the history of the use of the word “Forward” on the left. It’s interesting, but I think he misses the more basic point. “Forward” is simply a synopsis of the progressive understanding of the State. The State has always been seen by the left as the engine of history. When Obama says he’s about going Forward, he’s also saying that he thinks the government is the thing that moves us all forward, that the State is the source of Progress. I have no doubt he believes this. And obviously the government is a major driver of change — however change is a very different thing than progress. Sometimes government driven change is good, sometimes not. The more important point, however, is that government is only one of many sources of change. Technology is at least as important. The car was certainly had a far more profound impact on society than, say, Warren Harding. The birth control pill, antibiotics, the telephone, frozen pizza, etc: These all are far more significant than 99% of what passes for politics. Culture, religion and demography are also often far more important and relevant than the State. The problem is that progressives tend to see all of these things as products of the State in some way. If we are to go forward it must in the saddle of the State. One could say that if you believe the State is the source of all progress, then everything is in the state and nothing is outside the state. But that’s a point for my old book.

    FUCKING LIBERALS!

  424. Frank Luntz, Inc. said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:25

    job creators. class warfare. the soft bigotry of low expectations. government run health care. death panels. union thugs. these things are not like the others.

  425. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:37

    I may disagree with what you say but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it. What bugs me is that there are people stupid enough to listen to you and give any credence at all to the drivel you regurgitate. That, and that somehow you manage to appear in any sort of mass media with a wider distribution than “Entomological Venereal Diseases Quarterly.”

    fixxored

  426. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:41

    The State has always been seen by the left as the engine of history

    Hmmmm, yes… whore-ish relationships with crazy religious sects like Christianity, Judaism and Islam, the nearly constant wars, slavery, colonialism, being a military backed arm of corporate power…without all these things, there wouldn’t be much noteworthy history.

  427. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:43

    What could the state do against John Galt when he took off? NOTHING. Know your history.

  428. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:50

    When Obama says he’s about going Forward, he’s also saying that he thinks the government is the thing that moves us all forward

    “And he’s also saying his goal is to be an Islamofascist dictator. And that black people are all criminals. And that he told the ice cream shop down the block to stop carrying my favorite flavor.”

    Why bother with what people actually say when you can just listen to the voices in your head?

  429. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:51

    Yeah, nobody on the right supports Social Darwinism … as long as you ignore about half the stuff on Free Republic … or PowerLine … or HotAir … or NRO … or actual policies like the Ryan Budget for that matter.

    There aren’t many True Scotsmen left these days.

  430. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:52

    He seems mystified that a kid in college wouldn’t take a bullet for him.

    The kid didn’t specify whose death he was talking about.

  431. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:54

    I’m willing to bet I’ve had rather a few more bullets (and other explody things) fired in my general direction than Jonah has.

  432. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:55

    He keeps saying that he wants to argue against cliches that serve the interest of “The State,” yet his go-to example (mentioned in the NPR interview and highlighted on the Amazon page for the book) of a tyrannical cliche is “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent man be imprisoned.”** Which I think is how tyrannical states like China or the old USSR operate, right? Another from his Amazon page: “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.” The Tyrannical State loves terrorists and freedom fighters!

    **Jonah totally demolishes this one by pointing out that it’s not true if you’re a utilitarian, which he isn’t but suck on that imaginary media libtards who are always saying this!

  433. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:56

    When Obama says he’s about going Forward, he’s also saying that he thinks the government is the thing that moves us all forward, that the State is the source of Progress.

    Gross Grossperson need some remedial English classes. There’s exactly one proper noun in that sentence, but four capitalized words.

  434. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 19:58

    The birth control pill, antibiotics, the telephone, frozen pizza, etc: These all are far more significant than 99% of what passes for politics.

    I’d bet $10,000 that, as soon as he write this sentence, Jonah left the office, drove to the store, bought a frozen pizza, and ate it. I’m on the fence about whether or not he cooked it before he ate it.

  435. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:00

    I used to love frozen pizza myself, especially Mama Roma or something like that. Except it took 4 of them to make me feel full. And then I noticed that each one was 600 calories. I shed my chains and now I eat fruit. Another victory for free thinking.

  436. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:00

    I’m willing to bet I’ve had rather a few more bullets (and other explody things) fired in my general direction than Jonah has.

    However, if Jonah doesn’t shut his fat fucking hot dog hole soon, that could change…

  437. wiley said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:00

    He seems mystified that a kid in college wouldn’t take a bullet for him.

    Yep. Take a bullet for him? Why would a student “take a bullet” for Jonah Goldberg in the defense of free speech? How would a student “take a bullet” for Jonah Goldberg in the defense of free speech?

    The response to Jonah Goldberg’s tyranny of cliches is the gall of non-sequiters.

  438. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:01

    I shed my chains and now I eat fruit. Another victory for free thinking.

    RONG! ANOTHER SLAVE SHEEPLE OT LIEBERAL FACSISM!

  439. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:02

    Another from his Amazon page: “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

    By the way, his response to this is “So you’re saying Osama bin Laden is just like Martin Luther King in every conceivable way? WHO’S

  440. mark f said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:03

    Another from his Amazon page: “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

    By the way, his response to this is “So you’re saying Osama bin Laden is just like Martin Luther King in every conceivable way? WHO’S RACIST NOW LIBTARD?” That’s not a copy-paste, because the browsers at work have trouble with Amazon, but that’s actually nearly verbatim (I admit the “libtard” is an embellishment).

    Vince Vaughan — yes, that one — blurbed the book for some reason.

  441. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:06

    “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent man be imprisoned.”**

    More Voltaire. Despite the misuse and repetition, Voltaire’s work is most definitely NOT a cliche. Even if JonahFat doesn’t like what it says.

    Such a stupid asshole.

  442. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:07

    Actually, if bullets are flying, I’d want Jonah in front of me as a human shield.

  443. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:07

    Actually, if bullets are flying, I’d want Jonah in front of me as a human shield.

    Good idea. You could get your whole family back there.

  444. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:09

    One hopes Voltaire-booster tsam saw this fine interpretation of Candide.

  445. tigris said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:15

    The problem is that progressives tend to see all of these things as products of the State in some way. If we are to go forward it must in the saddle of the State. One could say that if you believe the State is the source of all progress, then everything is in the state and nothing is outside the state. But that’s a point for my old book.

    “Straw Liberals”

  446. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:22

    Voltaire has been dead for centuries but he still has the last word against people like Jonah:
    “I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.”

  447. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:23

    I dunno. Whenever I’ve been in Mexico and asked for lemon I got lime. When I asked for lime I got lime. When I didn’t ask I got lime.

    You know what you didn’t get? Scurvy.

  448. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:34

    Not proven.

  449. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:35

    I got a Scurvy Dog.

  450. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:35

    Candide link again:

    finance.townhall.com/columnists/charlespayne/2012/04/19/herding_us_into_mega_metropolis/page/full/

  451. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:36

    And Ringo is his name-o

  452. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:36

    What the fudge?

    http://finance.townhall.com/columnists/charlespayne/2012/04/19/herding_us_into_mega_metropolis/page/full/

  453. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:40

    finance.townhall.com/columnists/charlespayne/2012/04/19/herding_us_into_mega_metropolis/page/full/

    Ok, now I see where you were going with that. So the Enlightenment philosopher were COMMUNISTS! Good LAWD–I have this reflexive desire to say “you can’t make this stuff up”, but apparently you can.

    Chuckie does give some excellent advice to his Clownhall followers, however:

    If you get a chance, buy land in the Midwest, maybe Wyoming, and avoid being herded.

    Please do.

  454. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 20:45

    What I enjoyed most was the “rip-roaring adventure” bit. Candide had appy-go-lucky fun all over the world!

  455. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:01

    If you get a chance, buy land in the Midwest, maybe Wyoming, and avoid being herded.

    I imagine that, if Mr Payne bought land in Wyoming, his life would suddenly involved constant harassment by locals, both civilian and law enforcement officers.

  456. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:10

    The president put his boner in a white woman.

  457. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:12

    I shed my chains and now I eat fruit. Another victory for free thinking.

    RONG! ANOTHER SLAVE SHEEPLE OT LIEBERAL FACSISM!

    don’t let michelle tell you what to eat!!! she ate a burrito one time!!!

  458. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:13

    I can’t stand cliches either–take a look at jim’s link upthread for a fantastic list of infuriating political reporting cliches and tactics that let the reader know that everything following is bullshit.

    The problem with the right is that they perfected the art of it. The cliche is the perfect propaganda tool. It releases the recipient from any responsibility for thinking about stuff and knowing stuff–Hence the explosion of the use of the word “tyranny” among right wing dumbfucks. These spoiled fucking brats have no clue what tyranny is.

    I bet Orwell is spinning in his grave now that “Orwellian” has officially become duckspeak. (Good; I hope he chokes on it, the old fraud.)

    There aren’t many True Scotsmen left these days.

    Texas hit peak True Scotsman two decades ago.

    He keeps saying that he wants to argue against cliches that serve the interest of “The State,” yet his go-to example (mentioned in the NPR interview and highlighted on the Amazon page for the book) of a tyrannical cliche is “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent man be imprisoned.”**

    Actually, I would love a book where Jonah Goldberg tries to argue with legal maxims.

    “The law doesn’t concern itself with truffles”? Way to knuckle under to truffle thieves. [IMAGE MACRO SUGGESTING "FAIL"]

    “From a dishonorable cause an action does not arise.” Ha ha! Have you never seen the Democrat Party??

  459. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:13

    Sub, this quote from the link told me all I needed to know: “According to Infowar.com,”

    The comments are great, full of self sustaining he-men who are stocking up their bunkers for the Obamacylpse. The ironic thing is that many of their neighbors will be dirty fucking hippies.

  460. Nym said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:23

    Yeah, nobody on the right supports Social Darwinism … as long as you ignore about half the stuff on Free Republic … or PowerLine … or HotAir … or NRO … or actual policies like the Ryan Budget for that matter.

    Social Darwinism is, if anything, the only sort of Darwinism the right seems to approve of.

  461. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:24

    don’t let michelle tell you what to eat!!! she ate a burrito one time!!!

    And I heard it wasn’t even an “Official, Authentic, Non-Oregonian, Sanctioned, Registered, and Licensed by alec™©” burrito! The unmitigated gall of that woman! Harumph!

  462. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:31

    Speaking of sick, twisted individuals I am watching the remake of Willard right now. I know when I think Romney I think armies of rats.

  463. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:32

    omfg…if this isn’t peak wingnut, i don’t know what is…

    Good article Charles, my spouse and I have been discussing this for the last several years.

    Also, encouraging everyone to live in close proximity of each other, makes the argument (in their minds) more viable to remove our guns from the home.

    and

    And the closer we live to each other, the easier it is to encourage neighbors spying on and reporting each other. We’ve already seen that the current administration finds that to be an acceptable approach to achieving liberal goals

    that is a tittyfucking shitload of wackdoodle right there…

  464. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:33

    I think I just realized something.

  465. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:35

    And I heard it wasn’t even an “Official, Authentic, Non-Oregonian, Sanctioned, Registered, and Licensed by alec™©” burrito! The unmitigated gall of that woman! Harumph!

    Pfft, trifle all you like, but no one without copyright and trademark ever gave me a job / “job” / burrito.

  466. AWS said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:35

    I’m glad to see some sadlynaughts also caught the Doughy Pantload explosion on NPR this morning. What a wanker, and he got at least 5 full minutes to pimp that sorry excuse for a book. Arrrgh.

  467. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:37

    What a wanker, and he got at least 5 full minutes to pimp that sorry excuse for a book. Arrrgh.

    At least he didn’t lie about Apple products. Boooo!

  468. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:38

    At least he didn’t lie about Apple products.

    Do not mention the unforgivable sin.

  469. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:40

    I think I just realized something.

    and that would be…?

  470. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:42

    I think I just realized something.

    Jonah quotes Voltaire twice and completely misses the point

    Major Payne completely misses the point of Candide–quoting the last two paragraphs to defend his claim that the Enlightenment thinkers were nothing but dirty commie hippies and then taking off in some odd direction about housing.

    This is how you get through college and still be a fucking right wing moron. Either you fake it all for the paycheck, or you’re too fucking stupid analyze any writing beyond your own biases and too fucking stubborn to allow your worldview (in your whopping 20 years of life as a dependant to your parents) to be shaped by the works of the people who are very much directly responsible for the existence of this nation. American history begins at the Enlightenment.

  471. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:43

    and that would be…?

    Hold yer damn horses, woman. I’m getting to it.

  472. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:46

    So that’s the problem; the rich aren’t rich enough: http://gawker.com/5906979/a-brief-critique-of-the-rich-mans-philosophy

  473. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:50

    This is how you get through college and still be a fucking right wing moron. Either you fake it all for the paycheck, or you’re too fucking stupid analyze any writing beyond your own biases and too fucking stubborn to allow your worldview (in your whopping 20 years of life as a dependant to your parents) to be shaped by the works of the people who are very much directly responsible for the existence of this nation. American history begins at the Enlightenment.

    Increasingly, pressure is put on professors and TAs such that if you grade a student honestly for regurgitating wingnut talking points instead of reading, you are going to have Dershowitz’s fist up your narrow asshole in march time.

    Both Sides Do It, of course – you can insist on misreading Voltaire as a reactionary agitating against mass consciousness or what-have-you (and certainly the temptation to read Candide this way increases after the second racist gang-rape scene), but unlike sins against St. Reagan you can’t really be pestered out of tenure for sins against St. Deleuze.

  474. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:52

    you are going to have Dershowitz’s fist up your narrow asshole

    Horowitz’s. But I think Dershowitz’s is daintier.

  475. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:54

    The comments are great, full of self sustaining he-men who are stocking up their bunkers for the Obamacylpse. The ironic thing is that many of their neighbors will be dirty fucking hippies.

    Even more ironic is how the “Emergency Food Supplies” they bought at GlenBeck.com won’t be government-inspected, so they’ll be shitting themselves to a fare-thee-well in their bunkers.

    Jonah quotes Voltaire twice and completely misses the point

    Even more important, they all seem to be referring to Voltaire. Don’t they have an original thought in their heads, or does the Wingnut Hive Ass shit out everything they regurgitate?

  476. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:54

    Right; Dershowitz’s dainty, well-manicured fist only goes up your narrow asshole if you deviate from the party line on Israel, not on literally anything.

  477. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 21:56

    Pryme, damn you. I was gonna link to that.

  478. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:02

    “You’ll get a college kid who stands up and he says, ‘Mr. Goldberg, I may disagree with what you say but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it,’

    I will believe that this ever happened when I see a video.

    He also completely misses Voltaire’s point.
    The attribution to Voltaire is without basis.

    his go-to example [...] of a tyrannical cliche is “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent man be imprisoned.
    \Benjamin Franklin was a tyrannical liberal? Oh my!

  479. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:06

    I know some of ya’ll ’round here like cats, but if you have any of these books at your house, call the people in white coats now: http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-books-that-prove-cat-lovers-are-insane/

    Oh and VS? I’m just surprised it wasn’t posted here earlier.

  480. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:08

    alec, *I’ll* give you a burrito.

    * I am disturbed by the lack of sexual harassment around here lately

  481. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:09

    I find Cracked pretty ick.

  482. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:09

    Pup, I said you were cute and looked like David Cassidy. BUT NO BURRITO FOR ME. Hmph.

  483. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:10

    I know we don’t bat* for the same team, but come on!

    *oh, yeah.

  484. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:10

    Every now and then, Cracked has a gem: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-to-spot-b.s.-political-story-in-under-10-seconds/

  485. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:16

    He also completely misses Voltaire’s point.
    The attribution to Voltaire is without basis.

    I suppose he has no idea where the statement originated.

  486. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:18

    * I am disturbed by the lack of sexual harassment around here lately

    I’m carrying my (ahem) LOAD. I can’t help it if all these sissy ass liberals want to respect women and shit.

  487. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:20

    #6. Crafting With Cat Hair by Kaori Tsutaya, 2011

    Ha!

    IT PUTS THE ANTI-DANDRUFF SHAMPOO ON ITS FUR OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

  488. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:21

    Didn’t Ed Gein (Gien?, no I think it’s Gein) write a similar book once?

  489. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:22

    I know we don’t bat* for the same team, but come on!

    *oh, yeah.

    **sigh**

    Poor women, always having to settle for us ugly breeders…

  490. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:23

    I’m disturbed by the lack of posts in the last few minutes.

  491. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:24

    alec, *I’ll* give you a burrito.

    If you like it you shoulda put a registered trademark on it.

    Every now and then, Cracked has a gem: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-to-spot-b.s.-political-story-in-under-10-seconds/

    It’s great when it’s David Wong, acceptable when it’s other people trying to be David Wong, and pretty dire when it’s people trying to be Seanbaby. (When it’s actually Seanbaby, ulch.)

    Kind of tempted to write up MEW’s latest. I don’t want to seem like an asshole here; I don’t object to what the Canahuatis did. God knows I couldn’t handle having a baby diagnosed with a fatal disease, and certainly not with that kind of dignity.

    But… why the fuck go along with the act, for an article they’ll never read? Why the big “hoo boo make the most of your life” over a baby that couldn’t and didn’t do so? Why even have anything in that article except for “god, so sad”, because that’s what it is?

    MEW sort of implies that her bold new career in, as one commenter put it, electronic Good Housekeeping is the result of her brush with death. And I have to think, good Lord, if that’s what it does, yank the fucking plug on me.

  492. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:29

    Didn’t David Wong tell us how dudes built skyscrapers for women? I think I’ll give Mr. Wong a wide berth.

  493. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:30

    My thoughts on Cracked.

  494. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:32

    Not every woman has a human baby she can shake. For those women, they invented kitty wigs. Fabulous and infuriating, kitty wigs are how cats say the word “Hitlerfuck.”

    Each formerly non-suicidal cat in the book is dolled up in a different wig and sometimes glasses, but all of them have the same expression:

  495. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:34

    tsam: I think Gein’s book was, “Crafting Wallets Using Ladyparts: Wait, That’s Not Legal?

    VS: I’m long since given up trying to find someone who writes something I agree with more than 75% of the time.

  496. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:36

    VS: I’m long since given up trying to find someone who writes something I agree with more than 75% of the time.

    Well, for me it’s not that I have to agree with folks all the time…I just find the site kind of boring and inane. And, yeah, misogynistic. Plus, as someone who takes The Funny very seriously, I guess I’m just not impressed.

  497. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:36

    “better ten guilty men go free than one innocent man be imprisoned.”**
    More Voltaire.

    Sadly, no. In that form, it’s from an 18th-century jurist and Tory politician
    Maimonides suggests that a 1000:1 ratio would be wiser. Benjamin Franklin preferred 100:1; a 15th-C founder of English law suggested 20:1. Increase Mather went back to 10:1.

    Tyrannical cliche-spouting liberals, all of them.

  498. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:37

    Didn’t David Wong tell us how dudes built skyscrapers for women? I think I’ll give Mr. Wong a wide berth.

    My assessment was pretty much on readability. Wong is good at his job, even though sometimes my reaction to him is “pssh” and a wanking motion (the article you reference being a good example of that).

    Seanbaby et al, by contrast, don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to live in 1988 forever. Thus, as I said, “ulch”.

  499. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:38

    alec, *I’ll* give you a burrito.

    If you like it you shoulda put a registered trademark on it.

    Kinkay!

  500. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:38

    Maimonides suggests that a 1000:1 ratio would be wiser. Benjamin Franklin preferred 100:1; a 15th-C founder of English law suggested 20:1. Increase Mather went back to 10:1.

    It’s those tyrannical statists in the Fed causing this inflation. I mean, Maimonides – that there’s a statist name, no?

  501. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:40

    My thoughts on Cracked.

    The site proudly references their attempts to make “dongtacular” a word, so yes, it’s very male-dominated and sophomoric. But the women columnists who write there are funny in their own right. Oh, and the “boobs” entry was in a section where topics are created by members/commenters, not the the columnists.

    But if you think they’re bad, don’t ever go to The Chive (instead, give it’s sister site, The Berry, a look-see).

  502. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:42

    Oh, and the “boobs” entry was in a section where topics are created by members/commenters, not the the columnists.

    And everyone knows the Internet is just packed to the brim with bros. Gotta keep those bros out or they’ll piss up the furniture.

  503. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:43

    Il vaut mieux hasarder de sauver un coupable que de condamner un innocent.

    It is better to risk sparing a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one.

    Zadig (1747)

    Maybe he stole it?

  504. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:44

    Oh, I didn’t know that, Pryme. That’s actually reassuring.

  505. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:45

    In that form, it’s from an 18th-century jurist and Tory politician

    I think I see my problem here.

  506. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:45

    My assessment was pretty much on readability. Wong is good at his job, even though sometimes my reaction to him is “pssh” and a wanking motion (the article you reference being a good example of that).

    You’re right–his writing style is not bad.

  507. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:46

    Seanbaby et al, by contrast, don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to live in 1988 forever.

    Well, Transformers, The Chipmunks and G.I. Joe have actually become real-life movies. The GOP worship Reagan like he was a Greek god. I had no idea what the hell a “brony” was until someone told me MLP was re-mixed. Face it: there’s quite a few people who think the 80′s were the BEST EVAH (I’m not one of them).

  508. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:47

    The site proudly references their attempts to make “dongtacular” a word

    Gud 1 bro

  509. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:49

    Seanbaby et al, by contrast, don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to live in 1988 forever.

    I grew up in the 80s. There was some good music–like the California punk. Ummmmm, yeah, that’s about it. That’s a lost decade in cinema, I think.

  510. Pryme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 22:58

    That’s a lost decade in cinema, I think

    I think the 80′s movies where the equivalent of the 1960′s comics, actually. Weird Science? Back to the Future? How is the premise of either of those movies any more far-fetched than radiation turning a scientist into a giant green monster?

    And John Hughes basically told America that their teens came in one of five flavors: jock, malcontent, princess, emo and dork. Of course, he movie was trying to deconstruct those archetypes, but people back then weren’t going to movies for a message (see: “Heathers”).

  511. alec said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:00

    I grew up in the 80s. There was some good music–like the California punk. Ummmmm, yeah, that’s about it. That’s a lost decade in cinema, I think.

    That’s part of why I’ve never been comfortable with geek culture. So much of it seems to revolve around having interests and tastes exactly identical to other five-year-olds and then sticking to them forever. I grew up in the 90s and I didn’t have a shiny new PSX to play Pretty Boy-Man Gaiden. My childhood memories are of weird shit that I’ve had to accept was weird and shit.

    There’s a command line burned into my baby retinas. I took apart a zip disk with a hammer and tweezers. I want that purple stuff.

  512. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:01

    There was some good music–like the California punk. Ummmmm, yeah, that’s about it.

    There was also Ledernacken, don’t forget the gravy Ledernacken.

  513. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:09

    And John Hughes basically told America that their teens came in one of five flavors: jock, malcontent, princess, emo and dork. Of course, he movie was trying to deconstruct those archetypes, but people back then weren’t going to movies for a message

    I think he also said that teens and their money are soon parted.

    Though I have to say that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was a great movie. I love it. I have to take back my original statement about cinema. I didn’t realize some of these things came out in the 80s and forgot some of them.

  514. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:15

    I didn’t realize some of these things came out in the 80s and forgot some of them.

    ahhhhh…good times, the 80s…

  515. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:19

    I love John Hughes’ movies. I thought they were lovely. “Some Kind of Wonderful”…*sigh, swoon*

    I felt his–perhaps misplaced–affection for teens and teen angst. I found his films really tender.

  516. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:26

    people back then weren’t going to movies for a message

    And you make it sound like it’s gotten better, which is why MIB:3 is being released next week?

  517. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:26

    80′s music? Stevie Ray Vaughn. I was in my 20′s during most of that decade but I couldn’t stand all the synth-pop crap.

  518. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:30

    80?s music? Stevie Ray Vaughn. I was in my 20?s during most of that decade but I couldn’t stand all the synth-pop crap.

    r.e.m.

    well, ya’ll i have to leave now…i get to wash dishes out at the club…this is bonus because a) free prime rib 2. alcohol consumption while working, iii. get to work with jay who is the best/funniest/sarcastic/irreverant boss ever and finally: i don’t have to deal with customers!!!

  519. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:30

    I love John Hughes’ movies. I thought they were lovely. “Some Kind of Wonderful”…*sigh, swoon*

    I felt his–perhaps misplaced–affection for teens and teen angst. I found his films really tender.

    I felt like The Breakfast Club could have been written about me. I won’t tell you which character I was, though. You’ll have to deduce that yourself.

  520. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:31

    I felt like The Breakfast Club could have been written about me. I won’t tell you which character I was, though. You’ll have to deduce that yourself.

    i will go with judd nelson because i love bad ass guys…but i suspect you are going to say the nerdy one…

    also, i forgot to mention number 5: rockin’ out in the kitchen…

  521. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:31

    And you make it sound like it’s gotten better, which is why MIB:3 is being released next week?

    SUPERHEROES 4EVA BRO

  522. bbkf said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:31

    and lines from sixteen candles STILL crack me up…

  523. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:32

    Oh, tsam, I always knew you were an entitled princess deep down. ;)

  524. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:32

    also, i forgot to mention number 5: rockin’ out in the kitchen…

    6 getting drunk as hell

    7 taking off your shirt and texting pics to tsam

    8 ????

    9 profit?

  525. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:33

    Oh, tsam, I always knew you were an entitled princess deep down. ;)

    HOW DID YOU KNOW?

  526. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:33

    I practiced that lipstick trick for months to get it to look that sexy.

  527. vacuumslayer said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:37

    How’d you get those bees to sting your lips?

  528. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:39

    How’d you get those bees to sting your lips?

    Sugar water.

  529. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:40

    80′s music? what about Oingo Boingo or the Talking Heads? The Violent Femmes put out some good stuff in the ’80s. I would say that there was a large amount of good music in the 80′s it was just harder to find in that dark pre world wide web time. But at thet same time, actually going to the record store and talking to the people there could turn you on to new things too.

    My childhood was largely spent in the 80s and it was a neat time to discover the world outside my parents house and grade school classroom. Sure there was lots of crap, but Sturgeon’s law applies not just to science fiction but also to popular culture and politics. There isn’t a decade you can point to in popular culture that wasn’t awash in crap. The 70′s had the partridge family. The 90′s had rap metal. Still I miss the 80′s not for the movies, the politics or the music, I miss being young. I miss the potential to be anything I could imagine on that far off day when I grew up. A youthful outlook and hope for the future is enough to rose tint a lot of memories. Just think of the poor bastards in the future that will get nostalgic for Nickelback or Creed.

  530. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:43

    This is probably my favourite 80s guitar album. No solos.

  531. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:52

    80?s music? what about Oingo Boingo or the Talking Heads? The Violent Femmes put out some good stuff in the ’80s. I would say that there was a large amount of good music in the 80?s it was just harder to find in that dark pre world wide web time. But at thet same time, actually going to the record store and talking to the people there could turn you on to new things too.

    I still listen to a ton of 80s music:
    REM, U2 and Prince, for example.

    I do miss the Import section in music stores.

  532. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:52

    80?s music? what about Oingo Boingo or the Talking Heads? The Violent Femmes put out some good stuff in the ’80s. I would say that there was a large amount of good music in the 80?s it was just harder to find in that dark pre world wide web time. But at thet same time, actually going to the record store and talking to the people there could turn you on to new things too.

    I still listen to a ton of 80s music:
    REM, U2 and Prince, for example.

    I do miss the Import section in music stores.

  533. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:55

    I miss being young. I miss the potential to be anything I could imagine on that far off day when I grew up

    I do too. I miss having energy, and a much more adventurous spirit. Mostly, though, I miss having no apprehension about doing INCREDIBLY dangerous and stupid shit. (Like riding on top of a car just like all those guys in the the movies–that was AWESOME).

  534. tigris said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:57

    The president put his boner in a white woman.

    Wow, quoting T.S Eliot doesn’t put him on their good list? What if he’s a Russell Kirk fan?

    Also too: OMG GUYS TALKING TO GIRLS SOMETIMES TRY TO IMPRESS THEM!! Stop the presses, that is NEWS.

    Also too also: I thought “kitty wigs” was “kitty wings” which would have been awesome.

  535. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:57

    Also, Sturgeon may have aimed a little low with his 90% figure. At least as it applies currently, I’d go more like 95%.

  536. tsam said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:58

    Every boner needs a woman. They’re all pink on the inside.

    What’s the big deal?

  537. El Manquécito said,

    May 2, 2012 at 23:59

    Hot kitty wings usually have that awful red sauce on them.

  538. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:02

    Haha. Stupid liberals. Kitties can’t fly. They is practically chickens.

  539. Smut Clyde said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:05

    I thought “kitty wigs” was “kitty wings” which would have been awesome.
    Reinforcing my suspicions that ‘tigris’ is a nom-de-web of Ursula le Guin.

    Documentary proof!

  540. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:12

    I miss the potential to be anything I could imagine on that far off day when I grew up. A youthful outlook and hope for the future is enough to rose tint a lot of memories. Just think of the poor bastards in the future that will get nostalgic for Nickelback or Creed.

    I dunno; falling into that cohort myself my experience has been to enjoy classic music in my yoot and the sudden exuberant flowering of electro in these, my salad days.

    I had hoped when I was younger that maybe ours would be the generation whose childhood was so choked with bullshit nostalgia would be impossible, but time makes fools of us all.

  541. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:14

    Haha. Stupid liberals. Kitties can’t fly. They is practically chickens.

    Science can’t tell why kittens fly. According to engineers, it’s aerodynamically impossible. Riddle me that, libs.

  542. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:15

    The brutal practice of “winging”- clipping off kitty wings for the Asian soup market – has left millions of kitties unable to fly.

  543. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:17

    In re. the Le Guin WP article – right white of Orson Scott Card to fluff her children’s book after making a career of ripping her off for his.

  544. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:19

    Just think of the poor bastards in the future that will get nostalgic for Nickelback or Creed.

    Those people will exist, but the lucky lucky kids of today have a thousand years of music at their fingertips. Back in the glory days of Hotline I’d visit servers obviously run by kids and the files they were stealing were wide-ranging because, you know, free.

  545. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:25

    80′s for me?

    Jane’s Addiction
    Fishbone
    Chili peppers.

  546. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:28

    Back in the glory days of Hotline I’d visit servers obviously run by kids and the files they were stealing were wide-ranging because, you know, free.

    When I was twelve years old (back before Napster was smashed to bits) I could listen to weird old skiffle and jazz and pioneering electronica and so on whenever I liked, as often as I liked, and as loud as I liked. Say I wanted to listen to The Quarrymen – by God, I could listen to The Quarrymen, after spending about an hour per minute downloading mp3s. When my parents were twelve years old, they could wheedle their older siblings into letting them use the LP player to play Help!.

    It’s not like music was bad in the 70s, but there was less of it than now.

  547. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:29

    Those people will exist, but the lucky lucky kids of today have a thousand years of music at their fingertips

    They do, plus they haven’t exactly attached the same stigma to older music that we did. I vividly remember a girlfriend of mine getting all manner of shit from her friends because she loved The Beatles, and OMFG, MY PARENTS LISTENED TO THAT SHIT.

    (This was a couple of years after the murder of John Lennon. His girlfriend and kid didn’t exactly help his legacy.)

  548. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:31

    Also, where’s the love for Glen Campbell? Seriously.

    Rhinestone Cowboy–now THAT was music, my friends.

  549. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:41

    Jennifer Rubin makes it ALL THE WAY through a column without blaming Obama for something she really really hates. In fact she almost seems to deplore the fact that Rmoney no longer has an openly gay campaign official. Weird.

  550. Nym said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:42

    Also, Sturgeon may have aimed a little low with his 90% figure. At least as it applies currently, I’d go more like 95%.

    Well, he said 90% of EVERYTHING is crap– obviously it’s an average. Some things might be as low as 75% crap, such as chocolate candy; others are 99.999…. (extend those 9s as long as needed), like fan fiction.

  551. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:44

    Rhinestone Cowboy–now THAT was music, my friends.

    I had a 45 of that.

  552. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:45

    tsam, I’ve noticed that change in attitude toward old music with the younger folk. I remember going on field trips as a forty-something undergrad and the kids would start jamming Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison. It caught my attention and after talking with quite a few I agree the next generation seems very eclectic for music from many periods and styles, unlike me at that age who practically spit at anything without a screaming guitar.

  553. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 0:59

    tsam, I’ve noticed that change in attitude toward old music with the younger folk. I remember going on field trips as a forty-something undergrad and the kids would start jamming Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison. It caught my attention and after talking with quite a few I agree the next generation seems very eclectic for music from many periods and styles, unlike me at that age who practically spit at anything without a screaming guitar.

    My three teen daughters–same thing. Some song from the 80s will come on–they say “Dad, do you like this song? I LOVE it.” I say “You know this came out when I was in high school?”. Their response. “Oh. That’s cool.” It’s a big change. They like Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, U2, and a bunch of other stuff ranging back to the 50s.

    That’s why I HATE people who start up with that “kids these days…” bullshit. When it comes to media and culture, they’re quite a bit more accepting than we were. I think I’m speaking anecdotally here, but I”m pretty sure that bullying and racism has dropped dramatically (as awareness increases and acceptance decreases).

  554. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:01

    Well, he said 90% of EVERYTHING is crap– obviously it’s an average. Some things might be as low as 75% crap, such as chocolate candy; others are 99.999…. (extend those 9s as long as needed), like fan fiction.

    Oh. I see your point. That makes perfect sense. 95% of boobs are FUCKING AWESOME, which skews the results dramatically since there are about 6 billion boobs in the world.

  555. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:10

    Hit radio used to be a monoculture: if there were hits, you heard them, no matter who you were. In Canada there was much less media, so there was a similar narrowing of what you could have. There was a musical culture to conform to, which was generally white-guy guitar music, and having opinions about such things put you in or out.

    http://top40-charts.com/chart.php?cid=9

    On this list I think I’ve heard the Adele and Kelly Clarkson songs.

  556. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:15

    I like Kelly Clarkson’s new stuff and I’m totally in love with Adele’s latest stuff. Set Fire to the Rain is brilliant.

    I’ve heard a few more of the tunes on that list, but far from all of them. That Gym Class Heroes song is pretty awesome.

  557. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:18

    In today’s shocking news, Pig Newton has dropped his bid for the presidency.

    And on this day, not a single fuck was given.

  558. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:19

    I wouldn’t have heard Adele except for a flight to Los Angeles and choosing it from the pretty terrific Air Canada library.

  559. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:20

    80?s for me?

    Jane’s Addiction
    Fishbone
    Chili peppers.

    I see a disturbing lack of Ledernacken in this list.

  560. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:25

    My daughters dig Adele all the live long day.

    BBBB: Are you Ledermacken’s USA publicist?

  561. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:30

    That’s why I HATE people who start up with that “kids these days…” bullshit.

    It’s easy for you to say this ‘cos THEY’RE NOT ON YOUR LAWN!!!@!@!

  562. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:32

    BBBB: Are you Ledermacken’s USA publicist?

    No, but I am the internet’s number one unapologetic ass man purveyor of Dr BLT tunes.

  563. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:42

    that is a tittyfucking shitload of wackdoodle right there…

    Heh. That reminds me. My supe, Country Jeff, told be that a few weeks ago he called on a residence to do a pool inspection. This is in a ritzy subdivision, and a middle-aged woman came to the door. He explained his business, and she got quite hostile: “You have no right to be on my property, or to ask me to prove anything! I know my Constitution.”

    “Well, ma’am, you’re correct that you’re within your rights to NOT let me make a visual inspection. However, if you do that, I will walk back out to the truck, get the meter key out of it, and shut your water off right now. That’s the right the state of Tennessee gives me if you refuse.”

    She relented. :)
    .

  564. jim said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:48

    Pig Newton has dropped his bid for the presidency.

    … & somewhere, a clerk at Tiffany’s breathes a sigh of relief.

  565. Pupienus said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:56

    In Canada there was much less media, so we had Anne Murray. And Anne Murray also.

  566. Major Kong said,

    May 3, 2012 at 1:58

    80?s for me?

    It was pretty much classic rock until I heard REM for the first time.

  567. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:15

    80?s for me?

    Jane’s Addiction
    Fishbone
    Chili peppers.

    FUCK YES. Marry me. :)
    .

  568. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:22

    FUCK YES. Marry me. :)

    Dude. I can’t compete with the tig ass bitties at the water place.

    But big old lascivious high five if you liked those groups, too. (Oh and don’t ferget da Beastie Boys!!!)

  569. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:23

    And Anne Murray also.

    She did duets so there was some variety.

  570. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:24

    I had hoped when I was younger that maybe ours would be the generation whose childhood was so choked with bullshit nostalgia would be impossible, but time makes fools of us all.

    I felt that the issue for our general generation was we got buried in everyone else’s nostalgia, so we had to adapt and appropriate their shit just to survive. I mean, I was watching VH1 sincerely, despite everything on it being basically being roughly as old as I was.

    Then again, I’m listening to anime soundtracks now, so what the fuck do I know.

  571. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:24

    Heh. That reminds me. My supe, Country Jeff, told be that a few weeks ago he called on a residence to do a pool inspection. This is in a ritzy subdivision, and a middle-aged woman came to the door. He explained his business, and she got quite hostile: “You have no right to be on my property, or to ask me to prove anything! I know my Constitution.”

    “Well, ma’am, you’re correct that you’re within your rights to NOT let me make a visual inspection. However, if you do that, I will walk back out to the truck, get the meter key out of it, and shut your water off right now. That’s the right the state of Tennessee gives me if you refuse.”

    Goddam meddling gummint byoorocrats! Keep yer filthy gummint hands off my gummint water!!

  572. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:26

    (Oh and don’t ferget da Beastie Boys!!!)

    Well, you can not forget them for the both of us. :)
    .

  573. tsam said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:28

    Back off, JP. She’s mine!

  574. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:31

    Back off, JP. She’s mine!

    BULLSHIT! I know she’s fertile, and produces viable offspring. I have not yet spawned, and the Central Scrutinizer has tele-vized her intent that I reproduce on your world with one of your females.

    Now is the Ka-li-fah!
    .

  575. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:31

    Back off, JP. She’s mine!

    Oh, I’ve been keeping track, mister. I’m not gonna be bbkf’s sister-wife! ;)

    Where’s Pup? Pup, it got pervy again!!!

  576. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:33

    I felt that the issue for our general generation was we got buried in everyone else’s nostalgia, so we had to adapt and appropriate their shit just to survive. I mean, I was watching VH1 sincerely, despite everything on it being basically being roughly as old as I was.

    It’s an incomplete adaptation at best on account-a all nostalgia bait is unfair: half because it’s great in its own right and half because it’s horseshit only a five-year-old could like. The nostalgia cases who feel equally good about both are just naturally gonna get mad.

    And they wonder why, when given a chance to adopt some pop-culture icon, we go for hungry non-sapients clogging the streets of decaying cities. Fast zombies, slow zombies, it don’t matter. They’re never going to start a fistfight over whether there’s ever been a better TV show than Transformers. They, at least, are honest about wanting to eat your brain.

  577. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:35

    I was told elsewhere that I look like a prison guard.
    .

  578. Smut Clyde said,

    May 3, 2012 at 2:40

    I was told elsewhere that I look like a prison guard.

    I was told elsewhere that I look like a Prussian general who has just ordered the invasion of Poland.

  579. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:01

    The picture of the president’s girlfriend has now been replaced with one that makes her look whiter.

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/05/02/obama-girlfriend-revealed

  580. Smut Clyde said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:03

    Lots of children have offered unsolicited opinions about what I supposedly look like.

    You too?

  581. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:04

    A handy content-stealing site has the old pic.

    http://exchangegoldforcash.com/money/u-s-government/president/2012-election/breitbart/meet-the-first-obama-girlfriend/

  582. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:04

    Just got back from a bit of sightseeing and dinner at the E&C on 19th. They no longer do curry fries. I had teh curry lamb and it was so-so. The naan pieces that came with were downright disappointing.

  583. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:09

    I think VS is right purty. But I’m a horny old fucker, too. :)
    .

  584. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:11

    No prob. It’ll probably be bettar than dinner tomorrow – conference banquet night. Hooray for cardboard chicken!

  585. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:13

    Ooh, I still have some curry leftovers in the fridge. Gotta get that.

  586. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:13

    There’s nothing wrong with that, JP.

    Also too could someone explain to me why I’m supposed to get all exorcised about the girlfriend. Maybe I’m not thinking like a wingnut but I just don’t get t.

  587. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:14

    Also too, what is it with DC drivers? I mean, aren’t they used to traffic being borkened beyond belief all teh time? Srsly d00ds, STOP HONKING! We can see you right there not moving at all. Just like teh last time teh Sekrit Service decided to block off a street or six.

  588. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:16

    What’s the deal? They suck tremendous amounts of ass. That’s the deal.

  589. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:29

    Also too could someone explain to me why I’m supposed to get all exorcised about the girlfriend.

    Well first you turn on teh webcam and then while you’re getting all riled up, teh pageviews go through teh roof.

    I kinda doubt that Obama had his “first girlfriend” at 20. And that “self-absorbed” passage that’s quoted? I’m guessing Cashforgold doesn’t run.

  590. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:29

    It’s ok, tequila, you’ll keep me company.

  591. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:32

    Yeah, 20 seems a little old for a savage Kenyan.

  592. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:37

    Speaking of 80s music.

  593. vacuumslayer said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:46

    Omg, the mammaries.

  594. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:49

    Speaking of white guy guitar stuff.

  595. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 3:58

    I was told elsewhere that I look like a Prussian general who has just ordered the invasion of Poland.

    A strange coincidence: the last time I bothered asking, it was a now-ex and her answer was short but sweet: “a Jew”.

    I no longer ask these questions.

  596. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 3, 2012 at 4:30

    Ben Shapiro:
    In other words, he would have been a snore to have a beer with.

    Ben, I’m going to take a wild leap and guess that he would have found your company every bit as tedious.

  597. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 3, 2012 at 4:31

    Here is a wonderful idea:

    In today’s Wall Street Journal, Dorothy Rabinowitz has what could turn out to be one of the defining commentaries of the year. She hopes Mitt Romney will show “a capacity to run a campaign not obviously dependent on the latest polls or the fears of consultants.” She urges him to avoid “the picture of hesitancy and political caution” that John McCain displayed in 2008, and instead emulate the “formidable, cogent, and relentless” Obama critic we see in John McCain today, “a man free of useless caution.”

    Get this man more crates, dogs and cars!

  598. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 4:34

    Apropos of absolutely nothing, here is my absolute favorite historical fact: sometime in Christ’s lifetime, Pan died. One can assume he lead a long and fulfilling life.

  599. gocart mozart said,

    May 3, 2012 at 4:47

    Stuff no one should care about or six degrees of Palin baby names.
    http://now.msn.com/entertainment/0501-levi-johnston-baby-name-gun.aspx

  600. John Revolta said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:02

    BULLSHIT! I know she’s fertile, and produces viable offspring. I have not yet spawned, and the Central Scrutinizer has tele-vized her intent that I reproduce on your world with one of your females.

    Now is the Ka-li-fah!

    Jeezis. Once give a guy a paycheck and he goes all Waka Jawaka on yez.

  601. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:03

    Speaking of great Canadian 80′s music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTFVMMCwsss&ob=av2e

  602. Eric Blair said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:12

    I bet Orwell is spinning in his grave now that “Orwellian” has officially become duckspeak. (Good; I hope he chokes on it, the old fraud.)

    I’m a fraud why now?

  603. N__B said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:16

    dudes built skyscrapers for women

    Dudes build skyscrapers in the vain hope of being visited by giant apes.

    Duh.

  604. Smut Clyde said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:24

    Dudes build skyscrapers in the vain hope of being visited by giant apes.

    Well if the skyscraper is visited by a giant ape then the government dynamite it and blame the architect, as part of the cover-up.

  605. Smut Clyde said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:25

    Dudes build skyscrapers in the vain hope of being visited by giant apes.

    Also to provide nesting places for winged serpents.

  606. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:27

    Hey vs, since my comments are in moderation – I’ll just note here that I disagree with your take on the whole Cracked thing. And also note that even if David Wong and all of Cracked is nothing but a collection of misogynist women hating shitbags, you’ve extended consideration to misogynist anti-vaxxer shitbag Bill Maher. So maybe a Wong piece that doesn’t deal with women might be hilarious.

  607. alec said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:37

    I’m a fraud why now?

    Dude was obsessed with oily beefy laborers – like, not even in a specifically gay-ish way, but to the point that it warped his politics – and flew into shrieking fantods over anything the left did that had nothing directly to do with them. Right about Stalin, but only trivially; attempted to set up McCarthyite show trials for communists in the postwar UK to general indifference by Labour and the Tories alike.

    He was the prototype of Hitchens – a smug house-proud middle-class wanker who could never quite drag his politics over the hump of his class prejudices, and left what he couldn’t carry behind rather than kick through the hump. He did so want to be the cool cigarette-mouthed lefty truthonaut he has been remembered as, but less than he wanted to fume impotently at people for questioning Kipling and warm beer.

    That’s why.

  608. N__B said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:40

    Also to provide nesting places for winged serpents.

    Too much Rule 34, man.

  609. Pupienus said,

    May 3, 2012 at 5:44

    Look, I’m really sorry about this but (1) I’m fucking old (2) I am cognitively impaired for many reasons and in many ways (3) piss the fuck off, Teh Ho once again wanted some fucking DINNER shit so I’mmaking some pork chop apple bacon cabbage cider vinegar shite.

    Also Jonah G. Should be slapped upside the haid with a huge fucking fish.

  610. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 3, 2012 at 6:08

    Jeezis. Once give a guy a paycheck and he goes all Waka Jawaka on yez.

    PROMISED paycheck, not to arrive until 5/11!
    .

  611. Chris said,

    May 3, 2012 at 6:54

    Right about Stalin, but only trivially; attempted to set up McCarthyite show trials for communists in the postwar UK to general indifference by Labour and the Tories alike.

    Cooperated with British intelligence in fingering members of the socialist movement who had ties to Moscow too, as I recall.

  612. Eric Blair said,

    May 3, 2012 at 7:25

    attempted to set up McCarthyite show trials for communists in the postwar UK to general indifference by Labour and the Tories alike.

    I guess here you’re speaking of the list of names he prepared, in private, of people he thought should not be writing for the Information Research Department.

    less than he wanted to fume impotently at people for questioning Kipling …

    I guess here you’re speaking of the essay he wrote on the subject of Kipling—prompted by an essay from T. S. Eliot—the first paragraph of which contains the sentence, “It is no use pretending that Kipling’s view of life, as a whole, can be accepted or even forgiven by any civilized person.”

    And rather than “drag his politics over the hump of his class prejudices,” it seems to me that in his politics he might have tried to transcend his class prejudices, even though such prejudices were so deeply entrenched that even a backhoe would have had difficulty wrenching them all free.

    Yeah, he hated teh gays (are those … leanings, Eric?), had a number of weird obsessions—beards, sandals, orange juice etc—but, you know, he was a human being, and therefore as fucked-up as every last one of us. (Hell, he entered into a loveless marriage with a pretty young woman whilst on his deathbed: how weird is that?)

    But, on balance, I’ll take the man who got shot in the throat for a cause he believed in, spent winters in a rundown cottage in the Outer Hebrides just so he could write, even though he was fucking tubercular, and managed to come up with two works of fiction that stand, whichever way you cut it, as among the most important in 20th century literature.

    And yes, I agree, “He did so want to be the cool cigarette-mouthed lefty truthonaut …” Only to my mind that’s a feature, not a bug.

  613. Eric Blair said,

    May 3, 2012 at 8:27

    Cooperated with British intelligence in fingering members of the socialist movement who had ties to Moscow too, as I recall.

    Whilst serving as an Oberstgruppenführer in the Eastasian army. Seriously, the history revisions itself.

  614. Eric Blair said,

    May 3, 2012 at 8:59

    And finally, because I’m wandering these empty halls alone while all you people are asleep, this:

    Right about Stalin, but only trivially

    Well, let’s see, shall we.

    “Czeslaw Milosz, the great Polish poet, National Laureate of Poland now, who in ‘51, just as Orwell had died, wrote a book called The Captive Mind, saying within the Polish Communist Party—he’d defected—there is the secret circulation of this book, 1984 (sic), which creates much discussion within the inner party and every one is astonished to find that this Englishman who has written it has never visited the Soviet Union, they can’t believe anyone could have got it so right without living under it.” *

    Yeah, but only trivially.
    * The source of the quote? Yes, it is indeed Hitch—but no-one gets everything right now, do they? Or, as my dear departed dad used to say, “You’re not a complete idiot, son: after all, no-one’s perfect.” Quite the card, my dad was.

  615. Eric Blair said,

    May 3, 2012 at 9:31

    Everything wrong. Jesus.

  616. Cerberus said,

    May 3, 2012 at 9:51

    Empty? Perhaps. Or perhaps, that’s just what the new post fairy wants you to think.

    And by the way, there’s a new post.

  617. Cerberus said,

    May 3, 2012 at 10:00

    And this thread is about to be deaded, but I think my favorite comment mango from this one is:

    Using this ‘logic’ I guess Jackson, Sharpton and Wright are secretly ‘white’.
    And if gay is so ‘okay’ why the pressure by the MSM to keep Obama’s homosexual activity under wraps?

    Yep, the stupid just rolls off in waves. The complete fail to understand that sexuality is something you can hide unlike race, the reverse racism fairy hope, the complete apparent ignorance of the large numbers of professional racists who turned out to be porking a woman of color the entire time (like say Strom Thurmond), and being enough of a dumbfuck to hook, line, and sinker fall for the obvious IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION garbage about Obama being gay despite the only evidence being a coked out liar who probably has a medical condition and has zero actual evidence for his horseshit.

    Truly a perfect example of the 27%

    Also, I love the mealy-mouthed desperation to dodge the legitimate point of “why are there so many fucking anti-gay conservatives smoking pole, especially if the conservative viewpoint on sexuality is that its a free choice and conservatives being moral leaders would be above temptation even if it wasn’t”.

    It’s almost like they’ve got nothing or something.

  618. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 3, 2012 at 10:48

    PROMISED paycheck, not to arrive until 5/11!
    .

    Oh god I know that tune. “I got a job, gonna pay the rent. He said Oh yeah? I said Oh Yeah. He thinkin about the front rent he aint even getting the back rent. He ain’t gonna get none of it…

  619. Chris said,

    May 3, 2012 at 15:53

    Whilst serving as an Oberstgruppenführer in the Eastasian army. Seriously, the history revisions itself.

    I stumbled across the fact while doing research for a paper on U.S. and British intelligence back in college. Was the book lying to me? Yes, I suppose it’s possible (don’t even remember which one it was). On the other hand, it doesn’t seem that implausible to me that Orwell, a man who was quite concerned with the direction in which Stalin and the USSR were taking socialism, would cooperate with the British in identifying his supporters inside the U.K. Especially since he would hardly have been the only left winger in the West to “do his part” in the fight against Stalin-controlled communists.

  620. Eric Blair said,

    May 3, 2012 at 16:27

    Orwell had a friend, Celia Kirwan, who worked for a unit of the Foreign Office, the Information Research Department, that was charged with publishing anti-communist propaganda. Orwell did give her a list of people he thought would be unsuitable as authors for the Information Research Department because of what he considered their pro-communist leanings.

    “I think George was quite right to do it. … And, of course, everybody thinks that these people were going to be shot at dawn. The only thing that was going to happen to them was that they wouldn’t be asked to write for the Information Research Department.”

    Celia Kirwan, as quoted by Timothy Garton Ash in the New York Review of Books.

    And yes, my statement that it was a private notebook was indeed errant. Apologies. But Orwell attempting to set up McCarthyite show trials for communists in the postwar UK? Not so much.

  621. 1 said,

    June 5, 2012 at 13:52

    -1′

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