Apr
19

Well That Certainly Explains Everything!




Posted at 18:54 by Tintin


ABOVE: Karin McQuillan

Shorter Karin McQuillan, The American Genius:
Why Do They Want to Pick on Ann Romney?

  • The reason why Obama told Hilary Rosen to attack Ann Romney is because his mother was a lazy slut whom he hated.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

424 Comments »

  1. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:04

    So: they’ve created a scandal (“Obama had Ann Romney attacked for mommery!”), boiled the scandal down to its root cause (“Obama hates moms!”), diagnosed the root cause (“Obama hates his mother!”), and then diagnosed the diagnosis (“Ann Dunham was a whore, and lazy, and also fat!”).

    So long story short, before the end of the week we can look forward to the smoking gun that finally brings down the Obama administration: Ralph W.E. Dunham’s long-form potty-training certificate.

  2. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:04

    My dressage horse blew a seal, so I can relate to her problems.

  3. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:07

    That unidentified woman in the picture when Obama and his staff took out Bin Laden Ann Romney?

    Hilary Rosen!

    QED hippies!

  4. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:08

    My dressage horse blew a seal

    and the seal loved it! [bah-duh-dun]

  5. g said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:13

    Not gonna go there, those mangoes are always canned or freeze-dried.

  6. DAS said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:14

    Wow! What rotten mangos.

    Perhaps the answer to the question of “[w]hat President in his right mind would authorize an attack on any mom as a woman who ‘never worked a day in her life’?” is none of them? I.e. Obama didn’t authorize the attack?

    I guess by Karin McQuillan’s logic, Romney hates rational and healthy thought processes and well-thought-out articles but loves arm-chair psychoanalysis as well as ad hominem attacks, after all, he MUST have authorized Karin McQuillan’s bizarre “analysis” of Obama’s supposed actions and motives.

    Meanwhile I want whatever all those GOoPers are smoking and to live on whatever planet they are living on that Obama is a wild-eyed, left-wing demagogue intent on redistributing all wealth and creating a communist utopia — because on the planet where I, a non-drug addled social drinker and occassional pipe/cigar smoker, live, Obama is about as mealy-mouthed of a centrist as one could be.

  7. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:15

    I love in that totally not-at-all photoshopped picture that there are little ponies in bags hanging by the chip shelf. It’s very important to have convenient access to bagged ponies when you’re buying vast quantities of chips.

  8. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:16

    Tell me about your mazzer. Ees zhe doing anyseeng uber das veekend?

  9. Major Kong said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:17

    Somebody lay down covering fire – I’m going in.

  10. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:17

    I’ll never learn, waded to shore.

    Christ, these people are fucking delusional. Not merely Ms. McQuiverful up there, all of them. This isn’t even funny. She is basically claiming, as a retired psychowhatsit, that President Barack Obama is an embryonic serial killer. Srsly.

  11. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:18

    NO, MAJOR, NO! GET BACK HERE!
    Get me air support, now!

  12. Major Kong said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:22

    Whew! Those are some rotten mangoes! Here’s a particularly vile one:

    Obama is not just any liberal whose teeth are set on edge by traditional family values, or by individuals that have succeeded in business. For Obama, the politics of envy is more than a campaign strategy. Envy gnaws at his core. Envy is alive and personal. As we hear in speech after speech, Obama sees America as an unfair place where the fortunate live at the expense of the unfortunate. Envy and grievance give his life meaning, they give him a cause. He is here to lead America to a better future, where people like the Romney’s are vilified instead of admired. He wants them to pay. He dresses envy up in prettier words such as fairness, but underneath the idealism is a well of darker feelings, stemming from his life with his own mother.

    If you need me I’ll be over in decontamination. Just had this hazmat suit cleaned and pressed too.

  13. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:23

    I love in that totally not-at-all photoshopped picture that there are little ponies in bags hanging by the chip shelf. It’s very important to have convenient access to bagged ponies when you’re buying vast quantities of chips.

    It’s an impulse buy thing. The idea is that when you’re going to the chip aisle to pick up several pounds of potato chips for the week, you’ll see those and say “Oh, that’s what this reminds me of: my childhood!”

  14. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:25

    Obama sees America as an unfair place where the fortunate live at the expense of the unfortunate.

    And that’s why JP Morgan, Goldman Sachs, and company have given him so much money. They’re like the Little Sisters of the Poor, right there on Wall Street.
    ~

  15. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:25

    I would really like to meet this Obama fellow these folks are going on about, he seems like my kind of guy. They certainly aren’t talking about the current preznit that in a sane world would be a moderate Republican

  16. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:26

    This is beans compared to the dog-eating meme which may well last the rest of the campaign.

  17. tigris said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:26

    I guarantee you Obama’s mom did more good in the world than Ann Romney, no matter how well one thinks of the gold-plated ivory mommyhood of the economic elite.

  18. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:32

    This is beans compared to the dog-eating meme which may well last the rest of the campaign.

    Obama told me dog goes well with fava beans, and a nice Chianti.

  19. tigris said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:35

    This is beans compared to the dog-eating meme which may well last the rest of the campaign.

    Mitt can’t go there or he’d have to admit Seamus was actually in a veal crate.

  20. El Manquécito said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:35

    one thinks of the gold-plated ivory mommyhood

    Paging DKW.

  21. bmaccnm said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:43

    “Obama is not just any liberal whose teeth are set on edge by traditional family values, or by individuals that have succeeded in business. For Obama, the politics of envy is more than a campaign strategy. Envy gnaws at his core. Envy is alive and personal. As we hear in speech after speech, Obama sees America as an unfair place where the fortunate live at the expense of the unfortunate. Envy and grievance give his life meaning, they give him a cause. He is here to lead America to a better future, where people like the Romney’s are vilified instead of admired. He wants them to pay. He dresses envy up in prettier words such as fairness, but underneath the idealism is a well of darker feelings, stemming from his life with his own mother.”

    Let me get this straight. I want to understand here. Barack Obama, the multimillionaire best selling author, married father of two, Harvard Law School grad, Prezident-of-Fucking-United-States-of-America, is ENVIOUS of someone? Who? What world do these folks live in?

    It’s only April, people. I’m tired of this, and I can’t keep up. Is beating them down a legitimate campaign tactic?

  22. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:44

    They really do live in an alternate reality, don’t they? Speaking of mangoes, I found this gem in the malodorous swamp of Yahoo defending that draft-dodging patriot Ted Nugent:

    everybody with a sound mine and love for their country hates what this so called leader has done to it ! theirs a lot and i mean lots of people that express them selves that way with words not action . why don’t you consentrate on the black pantas sharpton jackson fairykon wright schultz madcow and people that will actually carry out their threaths !

    Poe?

  23. bmaccnm said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:48

    “everybody with a sound mine and love for their country hates what this so called leader has done to it ! theirs a lot and i mean lots of people that express them selves that way with words not action . why don’t you consentrate on the black pantas sharpton jackson fairykon wright schultz madcow and people that will actually carry out their threaths !”

    That was a quick answer. Ted Nugent is the spokes model for their world. In December, Newt Gingrich was their spokesmodel. In February, Rick santorum was the IT boy. Now it’s Ted Nugent. Ted Nugent is speaking for the real Americans.

    Who will it be by July?

  24. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:51

    Ann Romney is feelin’ the Kid.

    Why they wanna pick on me?
    Lock me up and snort away my key
    I ain’t no G, I’m just a regular failure
    I ain’t straight outa Compton
    I’m straight out da trailer

  25. Chris said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:52

    As we hear in speech after speech, Obama sees America as an unfair place where the fortunate live at the expense of the unfortunate.

    How very shrill of him to acknowledge that American society does in fact work exactly that way.

  26. smedley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:54

    “Somehow Ann Romney also found time and energy to do non-paid work helping children in need.”

    Yes. Her youngest turns 31 this year and I do hope he is potty-trained.

  27. DAS said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:55

    Mitt can’t go there or he’d have to admit Seamus was actually in a veal crate. – tigris

    Actually, if decades of the “modern” GOP’s campagning has taught us anything, if they do go after Obama for eating dog, it would be proof positive that Mitt is a major consumer of dog meat. “Attack your opponent on his strengths and your weaknesses” and all that …

  28. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:57

    why don’t you consentrate on the black pantas sharpton jackson fairykon wright schultz madcow and people that will actually carry out their threaths !

    Maybe if you had concentrated in school instead of skipping to stay home and lick your guns you wouldn’t believe all the fairy tales that right wing grifters are shoving in your feeding tube. Fucking moron. Get the fuck out of my country you useless piece of shit.

  29. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:17

    Last I heard, black panties didn’t do no harm to nobody.

  30. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:19

    ated in school instead of skipping to stay home and lick your guns

    For some reason this made me LOL.

    “where’s Timmy, honey!”

    *sad sigh*

    “down in the basement , licking his guns again.”

  31. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:21

    Last I heard, black panties didn’t do no harm to nobody.

    True, but those black granny panties…

    Deadly!

  32. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:21

    That joke would have worked better with a question mark.

    I step all over my own jokes EVERY FREAKIN TIME.

  33. smedley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:22

    “down in the basement , licking his guns again.”

    Because HE CAN!!!

  34. Snowwy said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:24

    OK, this is one of those moments (all respect to the Master, Tintin) when I wish Cerberus has taken up the charge. That shorter, gods, that shorter. And I dare not get out of the boat, what with my blood pressure problems.

    OK, now to read the thread!

  35. DAS said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:26

    OK, this is one of those moments (all respect to the Master, Tintin) when I wish Cerberus has taken up the charge. That shorter, gods, that shorter. And I dare not get out of the boat, what with my blood pressure problems. – Snowwy

    No need to get off the boat. The article really doesn’t say much of anything not already in the shorter (well, except for where the author makes Obama out to be some sort of envious monster, which portions have already been quoted in the thread).

  36. smedley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:27

    It occurs to me that the ladies present may not get that joke. Allow me to explain that “Because he can” is the usual response to the question, “Why does a dog lick his balls?”

  37. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:29

    Last I heard, black panties didn’t do no harm to nobody.

    Right! They smell just like all the other colors.

  38. Nym said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:39

    For Obama, the politics of envy is more than a campaign strategy.

    I do wonder how much money businesses would save on electricity if they just strapped wingnuts to conference room ceilings for all those PowerPoint presentations.

  39. J Neo Marvin said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:42

    OK, this is one of those moments (all respect to the Master, Tintin) when I wish Cerberus has taken up the charge.

    I do hope Cerberus is OK, and just resting up from all the hazardous fisking she has been doing for our benefit.

  40. g said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:52

    why don’t you consentrate on the black pantas sharpton jackson fairykon wright schultz madcow and people that will actually carry out their threaths

    ????

    I assume they mean Rachel Maddow there? What “threats” of Rachels will she actually carry out? Perhaps to ask pointed questions in a respectful manner of those who appear on her show?

    and “fairycon”? really?

  41. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:59

    He is here to lead America to a better future, where people like the Romney’s are vilified instead of admired. He wants them to pay

    OK, now THAT’S an Obama I can get behind.

    Too bad that’s not the one we have.

  42. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:17

    Mitt can’t go there or he’d have to admit Seamus was actually in a veal crate.

    yesterday, soucheray intoned about this whole deal and stated that ‘the dog probably LOVED it! all dogs LOVE to hang their heads out the window when in a moving vehicle, so he must have been in dog heaven in an open crate on top of the car!’ yeah, that’s why he had diarrhea…the only thing better than being in a crate on top of a moving vehicle for 12 hours is being covered in your own shit…

    also, may i be the first to offer the first fuck. you. bitch to mcquillan? i mean, really? she fetishizes ann and the romney wealth and then, instead of comparing/contrasting the two anns as she promised, dismissed ann dunham’s work and then concentrated on mocking obama for being a fat, abused kid with a shitty childhood…

    and obama’s attacking ann romney? and that’s bad why? and besieging the president’s ‘miserable’ upbringing and calling him fat is what? virtuous?

    what. the. fuck. these people really, really piss me off with their hypocrital sanctimony…fuck them all…

  43. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:19

    and also, mcquillan you miserable bitch, i believe the point of the argument is that ann romney has no idea what it’s like to try to raise a family with no fucking money and to have to work outside the home to try to get by…but that fact conveniently escapes your cheeto stained digits, dunnit?

  44. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:20

    I step all over my own jokes EVERY FREAKIN TIME.

    just don’t get tangled up in your black granny panties when you’re stepping over your own jokes…that could be dangerous…

  45. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:25

    Last I heard, black panties didn’t do no harm to nobody.

    Well, they can bind a little next to my balls, but that’s got nothing to do with the color.

  46. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:35

    just don’t get tangled up in your black granny panties when you’re stepping over your own jokes…that could be dangerous…

    Perhaps even… deadly!

  47. wiley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:37

    What I got out of this is that Barack Obama writes really sketchy poetry. This is not uncommon and should not be used as evidence of anything but someone trying to express their feelings in a form they haven’t developed the skills for or just don’t have the talent for.

  48. g said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:39

    and obama’s attacking ann romney?

    particularly egregious because he’s actually not attacking her at all, he disavowed it immediately.

    What is it like to be a person who’s so addled with tribalistic hatred that they actually truly imagine a scenario where President Obama would deliberately direct a surrogate to criticize his opponent’s wife for being a stay-at-home mother?

    I mean, seriously – even if you don’t like the guy, how stupid can you be to imagine that this is a likely scenario? All I can wonder is what kind of bizarre intrigue and manipulations go on in their political or professional lives that makes them jump to these kinds of conclusions.

  49. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:40

    I’d type something here about how great and wonderful Ann Romney is but Obama called and ordered me to say she is doubleplusungroovy.

  50. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:48

    okay, goddammit, why do i do it? yes, i went in and checked out the comments…they rapidly and inexplicably descended into ZOMG! the lefties are picking on the poor white christian male, wah, wah, wah!!!

    there’s also a seriously creepy vibe in that most are convinced that frank whatshisface is obama’s dad, not obama sr…they also discuss nude pictures of ann dunham and how that body most certainly could NOT have borne a child before the pics were taken…one d00d even whipped out a conception calculator to prove a point…they ‘know’ more about obama than is healthy and it borders on stalkery…

    but, besides the comment that said, ‘karin if this were dancing with the stars you would get 10-10-10!!!!!’ my favorite ones are these:

    •Karin:
    Thanks for your excellent article.
    I have never read an article on obama, that had as much new information on obama
    (new to me); as your article. You deserve a raise ! How about it – AT ?

    PS: How is it possible that you ONLY got 2 “LIKES” (three – counting mine);
    at the bottom of your article; when almost every post I have read here;
    has NOTHING but praise for it ?
    Perhaps, like me; they just never noticed it before ?

    and

    Brava, Brava, Karin. You have written a tour de force.
    And who names their daughter Stanley? For a guy, that’s okay, but Stanley is also the name of a company that makes hammers, smashing down on all they touch

  51. Another Kiwi said,

    April 19, 2012 at 21:54

    Also, the Rmoney boy is called Tagg? What is wrong with these people? Also to be a nanny, you would have to be paid.

  52. g said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:06

    And who names their daughter Stanley? For a guy, that’s okay, but Stanley is also the name of a company that makes hammers, smashing down on all they touch

    Aha! so Obama’s maternal grandparents were commies, too!

  53. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:09

    All I can wonder is what kind of bizarre intrigue and manipulations go on in their political or professional lives that makes them jump to these kinds of conclusions.

    well for one thing, laziness…mcquillan cites the same news articles that were recycled amongst newspapers in 2010:

    His nanny was an openly gay man who, in keeping with Indonesia’s relaxed attitudes toward homosexuality, carried on an affair with a local butcher, longtime residents said. The nanny later joined a group of transvestites called Fantastic Dolls, who, like the many transvestites who remain fixtures of Jakarta’s streetscape, entertained people by dancing and playing volleyball.

    here’s a more recent article providing insight into the ‘relaxed’ attitude towards homosexuals…compare and contrast, please…

    they just love to regurgitate teh same old, leftists hate families, hate rich people, hate anything good, blah, blah, blah…but one thing i won’t tolerate is this, according to rush limbaugh:

    The Romney’s are the kind of people that Obama and Hilary Rosen and Democrat elitists just resent the heck out of. They look at them and think life has been easy for ‘em, they’re boring, they’re nerds, they are Ward Cleaver. …They see it in every traditional conservative: old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy, unhip, judgmental, moral, all those things that just scare the heck out of ‘em.

    first off, i’m always bemused by their use of the word ‘scared’…apparently i/we are ‘scared’ of sarah palin because she’s a successful woman. yes, she does kind of scare me in a this-person-is-crazy sort of way…but no, i dislike her because she is mean-spirited, thin-skinned, conniving and obtuse…but i’m not ‘scared’ of her or her perceived success…

    but perhaps most egregious of all in rush’s quote? don’t be dissin’ on ward cleaver…dude was totally hot…

  54. smedley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:13

    “don’t be dissin’ on ward cleaver…dude was totally hot…”

    You just like him ‘cuz he knew how to take care of the Beaver……..

  55. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:18

    Also, the Rmoney boy is called Tagg? What is wrong with these people?

    many Mormon names come from ‘historical’ names from the book of Mormon. Whch is to say they were made up by a guy who claimed he was translating magical golden tablets given to him by the angel Moroni, by wearing magic glasses and staring into a hat.

  56. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:18

    You just like him ‘cuz he knew how to take care of the Beaver……..

    no, really one of his most unattractive traits was that he was usually a little hard on the beaver…

  57. smedley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:19

    From Balloon-Juice:

    ALEC is looking specifically at Democratic strategist Karen Finney (who appears daily on MSNBC as a contributer), journalist Lisa Graves and organizer Van Jones. They are advising these wingnut bloggers to go after them in the comments of articles, on social media and throughout the blogosphere.

    The wingtard commenters have their marching orders for the next month.

  58. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:19

    many Mormon names come from ‘historical’ names from the book of Mormon. Whch is to say they were made up by a guy who claimed he was translating magical golden tablets given to him by the angel Moroni, by wearing magic glasses and staring into a hat.

    needs moar magic undapants…

  59. tigris said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:23

    They look at them and think life has been easy for ‘em, they’re boring, they’re nerds, they are Ward Cleaver…. old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy, unhip, judgmental, moral

    Which part of this do conservatives want to dispute? I think Mitt Romney’s probably less judgmental than conservatives in general, and possibly more moral as long as you define that only to relate to sex rather than greed, but that doesn’t frighten ME so much about him.

  60. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:24

    needs moar magic undapants…

    those came later, like I’m guessing, slightly after some Mormon elder bought a woolen mill.

  61. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:27

    Most women don’t like it when you go soft on in the beaver…

  62. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:33

    Yes. Her youngest turns 31 this year and I do hope he is potty-trained.

    WHERE’S THE POTTY CERT?

    Also, the Rmoney boy is called Tagg? What is wrong with these people?

    It’s remarkable, isn’t it? A man richer than God, the son of a fucking governor, and he goes for names so white-trashy they make Levi and Orson and Cleon and etc look good.

  63. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:34

    needs moar magic undapants black granny panties

  64. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:37

    Also, the Rmoney boy is called Tagg? What is wrong with these people?

    Obama made Rmoney do it so he’d look stupid when he ran for president.

  65. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:41

    If you need a laugh, you can find some fine “freeper madness” here.

  66. Wingnut Troll #27 said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:41

    Van Jones is an a vowed Communist who loves Mau and Stalin. Real Americans will not stand for there slimey plots to smear Good American Capitalists like ALEC.

  67. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:42

    no, really one of his most unattractive traits was that he was usually a little hard on the beaver…

    Wait–which do you want? 30 seconds or to get the beaver beat until you scream for mercy? I always hear it’s the latter. Have I been misinformed?

  68. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:42

    zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 20:59

    OK, now THAT’S an Obama I can get behind.

    Too bad that’s not the one we have.

    CAREFUL, zrm. They’ll chew your fingertips off.
    ~

  69. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:43

    Also, the Rmoney boy is called Tagg?

    The horrible Palins did it, too. It’s trying to achieve some sort of class with pretentious names.

    Have I mentioned lately how much I despise pretentious, cutesy names? I’m looking at you, Madison and Tyler.

  70. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:45

    just don’t get tangled up in your black granny panties when you’re stepping over your own jokes…that could be dangerous…

    Maybe i should quit wearing them around my ankles first.

  71. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:45

    They called him Tagg cause they thought he was “it”.

  72. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:47

    D’oh!

  73. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:47

    They called him Tagg cause they thought he was “it”.

    that one just groans for a rimshot…

  74. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:48

    Maybe they though he would be the statistically mandated gay son and they wouldn’t let them put that on the birth certificate? Which, by the tittyfucking way, we HAVE NOT SEEN.

  75. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:48

    OK, now THAT’S an Obama I can get behind.

    Too bad that’s not the one we have.

    CAREFUL, zrm. They’ll chew your fingertips off.

    ORLY?

    And I mean rilly — eeew, zombie fingers are all crusty and covered in brains.

  76. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:49

    They called him Tagg cause they thought he was “it”.

    You joke, but for tax purposes his legal name is Tagg Romney GmbH.

  77. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:49

    Most women don’t like it when you go soft on in the beaver…

    Wait–which do you want? 30 seconds or to get the beaver beat until you scream for mercy? I always hear it’s the latter. Have I been misinformed?

    srsly…d00ds! how hard is it to get it perfectly right everytime?!?! jeez…

  78. tyler durden said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:49

    EXCUSE ME?

  79. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:50

    And I mean rilly — eeew, zombie fingers are all crusty and covered in brains.

    imma say zombie prolly don’t have any fingertips anyway…possibly not even a hand or an arm…

  80. tyler durden said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:51

    srsly…d00ds! how hard is it to get it perfectly right everytime?!?! jeez…

    *sigh*

    Yes. It might help if you brought one of your hot female friends…

  81. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:52

    Maybe i should quit wearing them around my ankles first.

    Related

  82. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:52

    tyler durden said,

    Oh, go play Stop Hitting Yourself with a mirror, you fake old tough guy.

  83. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:53

    Oops.

    I am tyler durden. I admit it. I’m also a troll. I admit it. I’m also a secret furry with a genital wart fetish….

  84. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:53

    Oh, go play Stop Hitting Yourself with a mirror, you fake old tough guy.

    That wasn’t very nice. I have a bloody nose now.

  85. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:54

    Holy fucking Rule 34, OBS.

  86. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:55

    men at work flute guy dead…

    oh…this makes me haz a sad for our adown under friends…

  87. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:56

    tyler durden

    This is relevant to your interests.

    (I gotta get my money back on that damn movie somehow.)

  88. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 22:59

    Holy fucking Rule 34, OBS.

    Hey, you brought it up! And how can an artiste such as yourself not know of the esteemed Art Frahm’s panty-dropping paintings!?! True classics. Several are in the Louvre.

  89. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:03

    the esteemed Art Frahm’s panty-dropping paintings!?! True classics. Several are in the Louvre.

    hmmmm…his work seems almost…kinkadeian…

  90. Snowwy said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:04

    Aaaand this is why I shouldn’t read S,N! at work. I don’t DARE touch any links for fear of losing this job.

    This is so not a request to ease up. Just me having a little self-pity party.

  91. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:04

    Hey, you brought it up! And how can an artiste such as yourself not know of the esteemed Art Frahm’s panty-dropping paintings!?!

    WHOOPS MY PANTIES FELL DOWN AND NOW MY CELERY’S ALL DIRTY

  92. RUKidding said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:05

    Aha! so Obama’s maternal grandparents were commies, too!

    That’s so 2008. The wingtards have been accusing Obama’s grandma & grandpa of being *incredible* commies since Obama showed up as the Dem contender. The stooges who push this notion usually refer to Ma & Pa Dunham as “Marxist-Lenonists” with no sense of irony.

  93. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:05

    hmmmm…his work seems almost…kinkadeian…

    You’re ’bout ta get yerself a junkpunch.

  94. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:07

    hmmmm…his work seems almost…kinkadeian…

    During the drunken spiral that would eventually cost him his life, Kinkade visited Las Vegas to see the Siegfried and Roy show. (Nearly entered that as ‘Sigmund and Freud.’) Drunk as a skunk and twice as willing to fuck a cat, Kinkade began shouting, “Codpiece! Codpiece! Codpiece!” until his mother finally got him to calm down.

    This has been your Kwik Kinkade Kfact for today.

  95. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:07

    hmmmm…his work seems almost…kinkadeian…

    If Kinkaide had done those there would have been a mysterious glow coming from the women’s crotches. And the shadows would be all wrong.

  96. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:10

    This is so not a request to ease up. Just me having a little self-pity party.

    Your job doesn’t allow you to do research about art!?! Philistines!

  97. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:11

    This is so not a request to ease up. Just me having a little self-pity party.

    Wow, you must work for some real Puritans if that was considered NSFW. My safe search is always off too (I mean, I’m not TOTALLY lame)

  98. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:11

    You’re ’bout ta get yerself a junkpunch.

    promises, promises…

  99. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:13

    If Kinkaide had done those there would have been a mysterious glow coming from the women’s crotches. And the shadows would be all wrong.

    also, aren’t you supposed to be working on something?

  100. RUKidding said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:15

    This is all so confusing. I thought all these wingnuts fell all over themselves praising Snowbilly Snooki for being a working mom even though she had a “special needs” child.

    Same buncha batshits are now celebrating rich bitch Ann Rmoney for never working a day in her life, and nay verily, *all* the wimminz should aspire to Rmoney’s exhalted status, no matter what.

    Hard to keep up with wingnut marching orders & directives.

    Bible Spice must be green with envy, though, of Ann Rmoney… never had to work, could be as shiftless & lazy as she liked, and could buy all the rich bitch clothes, etc, that she wanted while being arrogantly condescending to everyone. Dream on, Caribou Barbie. Too bad Tawd is so, uh, tawdry.

  101. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:15

    also, aren’t you supposed to be working on something?

    I haven’t forgotten… I actually came up with an idea finally the other day, just haven’t implemented it yet.

    Patience. It’s not like Kinkade is gonna get any less dead in the meantime.

  102. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:19

    sadlynaught strikes american stinker:

    geraldfnord

    Why does the author assume that Hilary Rosen’s stupid comment was made in response to a specific request by the POTUS? I know that it’s easy to believe that someone you hate and fear is nigh–all-powerful and has infinite time to instruct all his disciples in his evil work, and that he is simultaneously a master-mind and capable of telling a subordinate to say something a sixth-grader would know to be counter-productive…but really: it is an extraordinary claim, and would require extraordinary evidence to substantiate it.

  103. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:20

    Holy fucking Rule 34, OBS.

    You think that’s bad, start looking at the detail on those pinups, and ask yourself what part the celery plays.

  104. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:21

    DID SOMEONE CALL THE WEINERMOBILE

    alt punch

    OBAMA EATS HOT DOGS

  105. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:21

    and then there’s the drama:

    I am sympathetic, But having a horrible childhood does not give you the right to destroy millions of lives and dreams.

  106. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:24

    I haven’t forgotten… I actually came up with an idea finally the other day,

    yes!!!!

  107. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:24

    Hi, campers and patriots.
    .

  108. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:25

    But having a horrible childhood does not give you the right to destroy millions of lives and dreams.

    So what’s GWB’s excuse?

  109. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:26

    I see alec already mentioned Art Frahm’s insatiable celery obsession.

  110. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:26

    But having a horrible childhood does not give you the right to destroy millions of lives and dreams.

    So, is there any part of this screed she did not pull from her ass? Doesn’t Barack speak somewhat glowingly of his mother?

  111. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:29

    You think that’s bad, start looking at the detail on those pinups, and ask yourself what part the celery plays.

    Well, now I’m wondering why this man hung around so many women with unfortunate-fitting undergarments.

    I mean, after awhile, it’s like “buy the right size panties, lady!”

  112. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:29

    You’re ’bout ta get yerself a junkpunch.

    promises, promises…

    You may call me Ward from now on.

  113. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:29

    Doesn’t Barack speak somewhat glowingly of his mother?

    The conspiracy runs deeper than we thought…

  114. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:30

    And I mean rilly — eeew, zombie fingers are all crusty and covered in brains.

    imma say zombie prolly don’t have any fingertips anyway…possibly not even a hand or an arm…

    We do, of course, keep track of all these kinds of comments.

  115. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:31

    Well, now I’m wondering why this man hung around so many women with unfortunate-fitting undergarments.

    I mean, after awhile, it’s like “buy the right size panties, lady!”

    I’m wondering how I can get paid to be a perv. I’ve been doing it for a while on this site, but no checks are rolling in. I must be doing it wrong.

  116. tigris said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:31

    and nay verily, *all* the wimminz should aspire to Rmoney’s exhalted status, no matter what.

    Except the the poor bitches who need to instill some work ethic in their little bastards.

  117. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:31

    Well, now I’m wondering why this man hung around so many women with unfortunate-fitting undergarments.

    I think he was just trying to convince ladies to not wear underpants.

  118. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:32

    We do, of course, keep track of all these kinds of comments.

    Bystanders are exempt from revenge plots, I hope.

  119. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:32

    zombie fingers are all crusty and covered in brains.

    Like brains ain’t finger-lickin’ good.

  120. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:33

    We do, of course, keep track of all these kinds of comments.

    hey, now…that was said with the utmost solicitiousness…which goes to prove that YOU are the REAL zombist!

  121. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:33

    Except the the poor bitches who need to instill some work ethic in their little bastards.

    Ahhh, you mean BLACK PEOPLE. Well Newt’s got that one aaaalll figured out.

  122. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:34

    Bystanders are exempt from revenge plots, I hope.

    Whaddaya mean, Revenge plot? have you not heard of the zompocalypse?

  123. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:34

    I must be doing it wrong.

    oh, no…you’re doing it right…i just didn’t have the webcam on…

  124. tsam said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:34

    When zombies learn to use tools, we all better watch out. Next up, Zombie Urban Assault Vehicles™

  125. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:37

    When zombies learn to use tools, we all better watch out. Next up, Zombie Urban Assault Vehicles™

    Obv, you haven’t followed the Zombie-Robot Alliance Initiative that I was documenting at my bloggo….

  126. paleotectonics said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:37

    Zombie Urban Assault Vehicles™

    Hum-Zee?

  127. wiley said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:39

    …men at work flute guy dead…

    Our leader is thorough.

  128. Smut Clyde said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:41

    Well, now I’m wondering why this man hung around so many women with unfortunate-fitting undergarments.

    It’s always the identical paper bag of groceries. The packers at his local supermarket must have known him well. “Usual order, Mr Frahm?”

  129. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:43

    right, then…i’m off to ply alcholic beverages to the unsuspecting…catch y’all later…

  130. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:44

    and no incredibly hilarilous comments can be posted to the thread while i’m gone…that’s just unfair!

  131. gocart mozart said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:46

    Get-Chur-fresh-Mangos!

    The Left is for social justice for women, blacks, and gays. And anyone else I guess. Revenge against American white men. Make us pay. Cause us pain. Destroy our families. Turn our children against us. Brainwash our women to hate us. We are a burden upon our mothers. Destroy our marriages. Destroy us. Now, of course, what the hell is going on with Liberal White heterosexual American men? That I do not know. I guess they need to hate themselves and become hyper-self-destructive. All I know is that I am to blame for everything wrong with the world. White men from other nations are not targeted, but I am the worst kind of person. The Left can go to Hell.

    Schmutzli
    The destruction of the white Christian male, and his role in society and the family. the dirty little secret that dare not be spoken about. I couldn’t agree with you more, except it wasn’t revenge, the vast majority of us never did anything to anyone. It was envy. And complacency (like voting for Bill Bradley, Ted Kennedy, and particularly by allowing family law to become a Kafkaesque kangaroo court) allowed it to succeed.
    show more show less

    The dads on the TV shows are always the dumb ones. Everybody in the family has to put up with dumb old dad……
    show more show less

    Wmn04Ken07

    mcr, you hit the nail on the head! I will not watch any of that drival. Every father is a boob. I am as white as can be but the black portrals are the worst. The sterotypes are so degrading. I can’t for the life of me figure out why the black public puts up with this. It would be so refreshing to watch a family show that portrays the life and times of hardworking black or white parents raising a family. You get the impression that such a show would make too many people feel bad because they don’t live like that. Maybe if such a show existed, it might serve as a model. Every family show does not have to be an example of total politcal correctness.
    show more show less

    in reply to Schmutzli

    Dodd

    Things like ‘social justice’, multiculturalism, affirmative action and white guilt are effective only if the White males allow them to be.

    Middle class whites have the strength and power to shove all that crap right back down the throat of the thought police …. if they would only wake up.

    I personally think that day is coming and coming quite soon, and what a surprise it will be to all concerned.
    • in reply to flamewarrior7
    15 Likes

    Burlington

    White man plays the fool for these progressive tools. Watch any TV advertisement. The white man is a fat bald fool or the ultimate nerd. Boycott any product with such an ad! Pay attention.
    show more show less

    • in reply to flamewarrior7
    •11 Likes

    physicsnut

    Didn’t you know ? God’s real name is Susan Sontag.

    • in reply to flamewarrior7

    Most assuredly good reasons why this creature should never have been elected POTUS. America failed in allowing such as Obama to become leader of the greatest Nation in the world. Where was the vetting when it should have been done? His past history should have indeed raised numerous flags of danger. And now it’s here before us.
    Our “leaders” failed us and we failed ourselves.
    show more show less

    •13 Likes

    flamewarrior7

    One more post. Social Justice for blacks is confusing. In the sixites, blacks could have started businesses. Instead, blacks listened to the Hippies. Smoke pot, sell pot, and watch TV. Do nothing, dream instead of deal with reality, and wait for the Democrats to build a fantasy world for you. Blacks could have become entrepreneurs. Blacks could have started business after business. Blacks could have become self reliant self regulating Americans. They could have become normal constructive productive Americans. But instead, they wait and wait and wait for the Democratic Party to create a Utopia for them. Social Justice is a scam. Justice is concerned about innocence, guilt, and truth. Social Justice is simply an excuse to do nothing with your life.

  132. gocart mozart said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:48

    When zombies learn to use tools, only tools will be zombies.

  133. gocart mozart said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:51

    Sorry about the huge bucket of mangos. I was looking for a nice juicy stupid one but they were all juicy/stupid and I couldn’t decide. That was all random consecutive comments.

  134. rodert rudis said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:52

    Maybe my history’s off a bit, like months, but this is just April and I always thought the ad hominem stuff didn’t usually start until August, maybe even September. I mean ad hom against the family, not the man himself (ad hom against O started retroactively) It’s as if someone sifted through all the “yo mama” jokes and said, “Leapin’ lizards, we can use that stuff!” It was just a matter of time and opportunity. Next it will be the two girls because Michele is already covered in darts. After the girls it will be Bo. Then the whole country of Kenya.Then Hawaii.

    bmaccnm said,

    April 19, 2012 at 19:43

    “Let me get this straight. I want to understand here. Barack Obama, the multimillionaire best selling author, married father of two, Harvard Law School grad, Prezident-of-Fucking-United-States-of-America, is ENVIOUS of someone? Who? What world do these folks live in?”

    I think the question should be, “Just who is really envious here?”

  135. gocart mozart said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:54

    “And complacency (like voting for Bill Bradley”

    Bill fucking Bradley??? This is odd.

  136. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:55

    After the girls it will be Bo.

    Fox news infograf: “PORTUGAL: NATION OF FAGS??”

  137. alec said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:58

    Bill fucking Bradley??? This is odd.

    The first step in castrating the Great White Male is removing his guns, which make up for his NATURALLY SMALL RACIAL PENIS IT’S NOT MY FAULT IT’S LIKE A BABY CARROT.

    There’s a reason that the NRA has to constantly militate for things nobody who owns guns for anything but dick replacement cares about and generally stick to its ambit about as well as ALEC sticks to its own – it’s not just a weapon, it’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle that has yet to get over all those towel-whippings in high school, forty years ago.

  138. tigris said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:59

    Obama is envious of white males because they’re the most victimized.

  139. RUKidding said,

    April 19, 2012 at 23:59

    The Left is for social justice for women, blacks, and gays. And anyone else I guess.

    Yes. And so, what’s the problem?

    All I know is that I am to blame for everything wrong with the world. White men from other nations are not targeted, but I am the worst kind of person.

    Thanks for the answer, dood. Can’t argue. You’re right. You are a big fat white dood LOSER. But most especially a loser because somehow you contrive to blame your loser-status on… Barack Obama.

  140. RUKidding said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:01

    Obama is envious of white males because they’re the most victimized.

    And ain’t that a bitch? Barry O must cry himself a river due to his inability to be a bigger victim than racist bigoted homophobic sexist loser white men. sob sob

  141. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:07

    I’m sure Obummer feels like a victim ALL the time, being forced to ride around in a bullet proof limousine, having the power to order people to be dead, having people to carry out the orders, and knowing full well that all the other black people would be in the electric chair a few days later…

    I’m sure his staff of servants make him feel victimized. I’m sure he’s envious of their position on the social ladder. I’m sure having highly trained security guards coke addled poonhounds protecting his life every minute makes him feel envious of the camouflage hat racks that post all that hilarious shit all over the internet about what a terrible person he is.

    Yes. That sounds just about right.

  142. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:09

    Is anyone else feeling like these SS (not THAT SS you asshole) agents are getting the shaft? Geez, what’s wrong with hookers and blow anyway? fucking WHATEVER.

  143. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:09

    Geez Louise, Gocart–you could warn a girl!

  144. rodert rudis said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:10

    Oh, I meant to say something about Mangoes. The mango harvest started here about a week ago. Well, the ripe mangoes started about a week ago. Green, unripened mangoes start appearing in the fruit stands a couple weeks earler. (I haven’t gotten used to the green ones yet, too bitter!) So now los mangos indios (or wild mangos), the smaller (and to me much sweeter) mangoes are literally falling off the trees. The mango came to C.A. via India, btw, and they’ve been engineered to the size of grapefruits (like the avocado). But most folks here seem to prefer the smaller mango. This morning we drove to Cruz Verde, not too far from Volcan Mombacho, where mango trees line the ruta, and we gathered up two huge bags full. Iris and I will peel and slice all these mangoes and stash them in the frig for a little chilling. Most we’ll just eat outright, others we’ll drop into the blender for a thick fresco. The rest, the ones that get over-ripe, I’ll use to cook trocitos de cerdo. Oh my, I love mangoes.

  145. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:11

    When zombies learn to use tools, only tools will be zombies.

    wev.

    Back to real life, I guess.

  146. El Manquécito said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:12

    …men at work flute guy dead…

    Our leader is thorough.

    I hope so ’cause Ian Anderson is still going and that guy that plays for David Grisman who makes cymbal noises with his lips when he’s not grimacing on the flute. Something must be done.

  147. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:12

    I think he was just trying to convince ladies to not wear underpants.

    That’s diabolical.

    Smut, I’m intrigued by the artist and wonder I’d he also loves mushroom and celery salad like I do.

  148. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:13

    show more show less

    Which one is it!?!?!

  149. RUKidding said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:14

    Geez, what’s wrong with hookers and blow anyway?

    Hookers ‘n blow are the provenance of the .0001% Wall St, Banker, Hedge Funder crowd only. All others need not apply.

  150. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:15

    America failed in allowing such as Obama to become leader of the greatest Nation in the world

    Is that comment from this girl:

    “I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so, because some people out there, in our nation, don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as South Africa and? the Iraq everywhere like, such as, and I believe that they should our education over here in the US should help the US ..and ..or.. should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future so that we will be able to build up our future.”

  151. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:15

    Smut, I’m intrigued by the artist and wonder I’d he also loves mushroom and celery salad like I do.

    I bet he would if it were served by a waitress with panties around her ankles.

  152. El Manquécito said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:19

    Shredded green mango makes a great Thai salad (som tum mamuang) and a fine addition to green curries.

  153. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:19

    Oh my, I love mangoes.

    I can’t stand them. I’ve had a few from mega-sulfuric soil that I liked all right, but the California mango tastes like turpentine to me. Might be a genetic thing like broccoli-haters (mmm, broccoli), I have no idea.

  154. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:31

    For petit déjuner (méga tard !) it is tranches de concombre pickled lightly in sailors’ urine, cut into quarters and dusted to flavor in poudre de talc.
    For wine it is of course a magnum of Mad-Dog Vingt Vingt and a well-burnt Starbucks digestif, as is classically appropriate for a plate à Grylls.

    Bonne table!

  155. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:33

    America failed in allowing such as Obama to become leader of the greatest Nation in the world

    Is that comment from this girl:

    “I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so, because some people out there, in our nation, don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as South Africa and? the Iraq everywhere like, such as, and I believe that they should our education over here in the US should help the US ..and ..or.. should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future so that we will be able to build up our future.”

  156. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:34

    Hey, what the fuck?

  157. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:35

    That’s diabolical.

    How so?

  158. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:41

    Hookers ‘n blow are the provenance of the .0001% Wall St, Banker, Hedge Funder crowd only. All others need not apply.

    …and the occasional tsam

  159. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:42

    How so?

    The Devil wears Spanx.

  160. Chris said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:54

    The destruction of the white Christian male, and his role in society and the family.

    Quite by accident, he actually hits on the truth. Yes… the role of the White Christian Male at the top of the hierarchy of identity politics, yes, we absolutely fucking want that destroyed and nuked from orbit. Proud to support this goal.

    the dirty little secret that dare not be spoken about. I couldn’t agree with you more, except it wasn’t revenge, the vast majority of us never did anything to anyone. It was envy.

    As to whether we’re envious of you, that Jew at Auschwitz said it best – “I thank God for not making me like them.”

  161. bughunter, not a cynic or anything, said,

    April 20, 2012 at 0:59

    Is anyone else feeling like these SS (not THAT SS you asshole) agents are getting the shaft?

    This whole matter is a distraction. Go ahead. Google “obama in columbia” and see how many pages deep you have to go before you find out why he’s there or what’s going to be discussed.

    Here’s one topic, and it’s counterestablishment enough to have both “sides” in American politics willing to play Barker for the Hookers & Blow Sideshow: Latin American leaders are going to petition Obama to end the war on drugs. The last thing that TPTB want is a serious discussion of the true impact of the failed war on the vices of the poor and brown-skinned, and even less, the kind of things that the US has done to perpetuate it.

    That’s why this has been at the top of Memeorandum all day: Exclusive Pics of Hooker Boobs!!!

  162. g said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:01

    The Romney’s are the kind of people that Obama and Hilary Rosen and Democrat elitists just resent the heck out of.

    How dare those elitists look down on those humble billionaires that way!

  163. g said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:03

    The Devil wears Spanx.

    Bwah.

  164. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:07

    And I am making mushroom and celery salad tonight, panties firmly in place.

  165. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:10

    That’s why this has been at the top of Memeorandum all day: Exclusive Pics of Hooker Boobs!!!

    I knew why he was there and I knew they asked him to end the war on drugs the poor and/or non white.

    However, I am utterly unopposed to looking at hooker boobs. In fact that seems to be the one bright spot in this whole silly mess.

  166. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:11

    And I am making mushroom and celery salad tonight, panties firmly in place.

    Total buzzkill.

  167. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:12

    I’m making burritos tonight and homemade guacamole and I will NOT have panties on. NYAH :P

  168. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:16

    Regarding the whole Colombian hooker scandal- patronizing hookers is probably the least horrible thing that the U.S. Government has done in Latin America.

  169. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:17

    The last thing that TPTB want is a serious discussion of the true impact of the failed war on the vices of the poor and brown-skinned, and even less, the kind of things that the US has done to perpetuate it.

    A little less conspiratorially, the drug war is viewed as one of the most intrusive planks of the Washington Consensus in the Caribbean basin, and it’s verboten in American politics to accept that the Consensus is basically dead in the water: those wacky Latins are just crazy washed-up lefties resentful of US influence, not seeing a reversal in skyrocketing Gini coefficients and stable economic growth for the first time since the 70s by abandoning the Consensus ideology of privatization and globalization at all costs.

    And that’s more than a foreign policy question: both parties loudly insist that our problems must be solved, and can only be solved, by a noble Mayor Bloomberg figure bombarding La Moneda fixing our escalators by selling public property, giving taxpayer money to corporate trusties, and destroying anything that even looks like worker dignity or solidarity. Supposing we were actually exposed to how often, and how uniformly badly, it’s been tried overseas – wouldn’t the Serious, noble moustaches of our papers of record look a little po-faced?

    And I am making mushroom and celery salad tonight, panties firmly in place.

    For lunch it is warm uncured pork, and for wine it is warm uncured pork, and for a digestif it is pork, pork, pork!

  170. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:19

    ?

  171. bughunter, not a cynic or anything, said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:19

    Yes, tsam, you seem even more informed than I (especially about the part where it happened last weekend).

    However, Sadlynaughts do not make for a representative sample of American media consumers who believe nearly everything spoon-fed them by the corporate media networks.

    That’s why I hang out here.

    That and the VPRs.

  172. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:19

    ?

  173. bughunter, not a cynic or anything, said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:22

    pork, pork, pork

    Related.

  174. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:22

    That’s why I hang out here.

    That and the VPRs.

    Who can resist all this PENIS being thrown around as if it were confetti at a party? Not me, that’s for sure.

    Political and social commentary is great. Jokes ranging from dangerously funny to dumb as hell (see anything under the heading “tsam”) are also great. But in the end (ha!), we all show up for the PENIS.

    Int dat right, y’all?

  175. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:22

    That and the VPRs.

    What coincidence: for brunch it is uncured pork and two pounds uncooked bacon rashers, served warm, and for wine it is 6 oz vanilla extract: a VPR, or as the French call it «un veh-peh-eir».

    For digestif snap into a Slim Jim.

  176. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:22

    patronizing hookers is probably the least horrible thing that the U.S. Government has done in Latin America.

    But even there they didn’t want to pay the fucking rate.

  177. wiley said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:24

    What’s really oddball about this secret service hookers and blow thing is that they weren’t getting hookers and blow for the President.

  178. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:24

    What’s really oddball about this secret service hookers and blow thing is that they weren’t getting hookers and blow for the President.

    That’s the scandal. Bush would never have tolerated that kind of insubordination.

  179. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:25

    And that hooker (assuming that IS her in those “exclusive” pictures) is easily worth $800. Especially if you consider the consequences of her telling on you…

    I know why he only wanted to pay $ 30 though. If you’d like an explanation, I’d be glad to provide one.

  180. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:27

    I know why he only wanted to pay $ 30 though. If you’d like an explanation, I’d be glad to provide one.

    Poruchik Rzhevsky is putting his riding boots on and is about to take leave of a charming demoiselle he had met the previous evening. “Mon cher Poruchik,” intones the siren, “aren’t you forgetting about the money?” Rzhevsky turns to her and says proudly: “Hussars never take money!”

  181. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:29

    OK, OK, calm down. Here’s the explanation.

    Any guy who has done a ton of coke at once knows that he’s packing a 1″ stack of nickels around for the next 4 hours or so. Intercourse, in most cases, is out of the question. Now I imagine this dude was not “up for the job” (VhumpingR), and decided he didn’t want to pay for the whole service.

    Either that or Obama had a Kenyan Witch Doctor steal all of his money and take away his sense of fairness.

  182. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 1:40

    OK, OK, calm down. Here’s the explanation.

    Any guy who has done a ton of coke at once knows that he’s packing a 1? stack of nickels around for the next 4 hours or so. Intercourse, in most cases, is out of the question. Now I imagine this dude was not “up for the job” (VhumpingR), and decided he didn’t want to pay for the whole service.

    Either that or Obama had a Kenyan Witch Doctor steal all of his money and take away his sense of fairness.

    He thought he was just renting a human being’s sex parts, but when he went to pay his bill it turned out what he ordered was the recipe for prostitution.

  183. Snorghagen said,

    April 20, 2012 at 2:01

    everybody with a sound mine and love for their country hates what this so called leader has done to it !

    A sound mine? Is that where noises are dug up from deep under the Earth?

  184. Sir Craig said,

    April 20, 2012 at 2:07

    What President in his right mind would authorize an attack on any mom as a woman who “never worked a day in her life”?

    At this point, I figured if you’re going to start with a falsehood, it was going to be nothing but turtles all the way down. Glad to see in her bio she is a retired psychotherapist and former Peace Corps volunteer to Senegal—the fun she must have had scaring starving children.

  185. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 2:12

    A sound mine? Is that where noises are dug up from deep under the Earth?

    PEAK SOUND IS A MYTH. CELEBRATE HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT / CIVILIZATION / REASON BY CONSTANT PUBLIC SCREAMING

  186. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 20, 2012 at 2:13

    know why he only wanted to pay $ 30 though. If you’d like an explanation, I’d be glad to provide one.

    It’s that shitty American sense of entitlement, “I’m in a third world shithole, so why should I have to drop eight Franklins on some brown chick?”

  187. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 20, 2012 at 3:04

    It’s that shitty American sense of entitlement, “I’m in a third world shithole, so why should I have to drop eight Franklins on some brown chick?”

    “Besides, in your crappy third-world money, 30 dollars American should be roughly equivalent, right?”

  188. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 3:08

    “Oh, I meant to say something about Mangoes. The mango harvest started here about a week ago. Well, the ripe mangoes started about a week ago. Green, unripened mangoes start appearing in the fruit stands a couple weeks earler. (I haven’t gotten used to the green ones yet, too bitter!) So now los mangos indios (or wild mangos), the smaller (and to me much sweeter) mangoes are literally falling off the trees. The mango came to C.A. via India, btw, and they’ve been engineered to the size of grapefruits (like the avocado). But most folks here seem to prefer the smaller mango. This morning we drove to Cruz Verde, not too far from Volcan Mombacho, where mango trees line the ruta, and we gathered up two huge bags full. Iris and I will peel and slice all these mangoes and stash them in the frig for a little chilling. Most we’ll just eat outright, others we’ll drop into the blender for a thick fresco. The rest, the ones that get over-ripe, I’ll use to cook trocitos de cerdo. Oh my, I love mangoes.”–Robert Rudis

    And I love extended metaphors, but you’re pushing it with this one.

    (I actually got three sentences in before I realized you’re talking fruit.)

  189. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 3:25

    Have I mentioned lately how much I despise pretentious, cutesy names?

    How about Hoboken and Jerseycitia?

  190. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 3:37

    Have I mentioned lately how much I despise pretentious, cutesy names?

    How about Hoboken and Jerseycitia?

    I was way happier about the image he closed that piece with when I thought it was “Let’s Medicate NYC”. I mean, yeah, I don’t want to become a zombie either, but they keep on electing bad boys to trample on their civil liberties and erode services and yet refuse to just own up to having a weird subby streak. (Homework assignment: TR in scary bondage gear.) I mean, first Rudy, now Mike… maybe the common denominator here is you, NYC?

  191. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 3:55

    “A little less conspiratorially, the drug war is viewed as one of the most intrusive planks of the Washington Consensus in the Caribbean basin, and it’s verboten in American politics to accept that the Consensus is basically dead in the water: those wacky Latins are just crazy washed-up lefties resentful of US influence, not seeing a reversal in skyrocketing Gini coefficients and stable economic growth for the first time since the 70s by abandoning the Consensus ideology of privatization and globalization at all costs.

    And that’s more than a foreign policy question: both parties loudly insist that our problems must be solved, and can only be solved, by a noble Mayor Bloomberg figure bombarding La Moneda fixing our escalators by selling public property, giving taxpayer money to corporate trusties, and destroying anything that even looks like worker dignity or solidarity. Supposing we were actually exposed to how often, and how uniformly badly, it’s been tried overseas – wouldn’t the Serious, noble moustaches of our papers of record look a little po-faced?”–Alec

    Yes. Even as Latin America begins to fruitfully defy policies that were never for their benefit, the wizards that run THIS country think they can cobble together a chimera with the economic policies of someone’s pitiful client AND the durable superpower that God cemented in our exceptionalism.

    Since we never listen or pay attention, being “exposed to how often, and how uniformly badly, it’s been tried overseas” will take the form of our sucking third-worldily during my lifetime, as other nations follow a Chinese model, or whatever. I hope they’re nice folks. Everywhere I’ve been, they seemed nice…

  192. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 4:16

    Even as Latin America begins to fruitfully defy policies that were never for their benefit, the wizards that run THIS country think they can cobble together a chimera with the economic policies of someone’s pitiful client AND the durable superpower that God cemented in our exceptionalism.

    Well, it’s like the oligarchs that took apart Russia. Only a complete moron would actually take the political rhetoric of the shock doctrine set seriously in 1993; any fool could have told you that selling off entrenched public bureaucracies would either be selling a baby by halves or would transfer ownership and power from qualified technocrats to useless toadies. Only the dumb little rump liberal parties in Russia (you know, the ones the West pretend were holding anti-Putin demos earlier this year, as opposed to the organized left opposition) actually believe that.

    What your oligarchs figured was that the West was looting Russia, and they wanted a piece; so they stole, and sequestered themselves away in tiny elite neighborhoods frequented by Western journos and businessmen; and when one of the world’s most stable societies had so completely disintegrated that even the political system began to turn against them, they just skipped town to London.

    So after they’ve finished eating America alive, and once we inevitably grow so furious that even right-wing elites have more to gain by pandering to baying mobs than to them, after all their talk about creating American jobs they’ll move to Melbourne or Buenos Aires and resume their con game about tall poppy syndrome and investor confidence there, winning easy points blathering about how the CIA totally killed [LOCAL WINGNUT HERO] and they’ve got the secret copied archives to prove it.

    TL, DR: of course they’re not afraid of destroying America. They’re citizens of the world, or at least her country clubs.

  193. RWW said,

    April 20, 2012 at 4:46

    For a fair and balanced view of Ann Romney, she produces a quote from Ann’s son talking to a rightwing knuckledragging radio host. For a fair and balanced view of Obama, she produces quotes from Rush and some other American Stinker clown named Cashill. Nuff said about this psychotic pile of shit and the material for this smear article she pulled out of her ass.

  194. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 4:50

    Ann Romney: a stay-at-home mom of five middle-aged men. MY HERO!

  195. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2012 at 5:21

    I actually read this whole screed. Cause Super Sarah, The Power Palin(tm) is exactly who I turn to for knowledge on global oil economics: http://www.redstate.com/brian_d/2012/04/19/the-palin-bolling-proposal-to-lower-gas-prices/

  196. Snorghagen said,

    April 20, 2012 at 5:42

    Super Sarah, The Power Palin(tm) is exactly who I turn to for knowledge on global oil economics

    That is some informative shit. I now know that gas prices increase because of environmental extremists, class warfare, and algae.

  197. jim said,

    April 20, 2012 at 5:53

    GOD/WIN LIBEL!!!!!!

    Surely any minute now the good Bishop will diatnce himself from his homily via his distinctive diagonal shuffle.

  198. RWW said,

    April 20, 2012 at 6:03

    As capitalists why should they care what the price of gasoline is? People are willing to buy it and the corporations sell it for a profit. All is well in Wingnutistan. Surely, if prices were high for some reason they approve of, like just because, or that’s what people are willing to pay, or that’s the magic hand of god at work, then they’d be JUST FINE with that and bitterly oppose any effort whatsoever to bring prices down.

  199. jim said,

    April 20, 2012 at 6:13

    Diatnce?

    D’Ogggggggh!

  200. RWW said,

    April 20, 2012 at 6:14

    Also too, they can blame the blah guy in the White House because you know it doesn’t matter when there’s a white president and gas prices hit $4.50 like they did in summer of ’08. Sister Sarah was too busy bobbing on knobs in the back rooms of the RNC to notice.

  201. wiley said,

    April 20, 2012 at 6:16

    Someone needs to inform that Bishop that most of us don’t think that buggering pre-pubescent children is an adequate form of birth control.

  202. Smut Clyde said,

    April 20, 2012 at 6:48

    Only a complete moron would actually take the political rhetoric of the shock doctrine set seriously in 1993; any fool could have told you that selling off entrenched public bureaucracies would either be selling a baby by halves or would transfer ownership and power from qualified technocrats to useless toadies

    I remember reading an Economist article in about 1995, in which the author admitted that privatisation in Russia had not gone as well as planned, with the state’s natural resources and income streams falling into the hands of oligarchs and gangsters. The author went on to advise the Russian government that rather than try to seize these ill-gotten gains back from their current owners, the best way of handling the situation would be to *legitimise* ownership and transform the asset-strippers from a motley crew of extortionists and fraudsters into fully-respected stakeholders in society. That way, apparently, they would use their wealth for *everyone’s* benefit.

    Was Megan McArdle writing for the Economist then?

  203. Angry Geometer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 7:06

    many Mormon names come from ‘historical’ names from the book of Mormon. Whch is to say they were made up by a guy who claimed he was translating magical golden tablets given to him by the angel Moroni, by wearing magic glasses and staring into a hat.

    There’s a strong tradition of really wacky Mormon names. I don’t think they have much to do with the book of Mormon — more to do with the fact that there are only a handful of Mormon last names.

    Usually it involves putting “La” in front of a more traditional name in a way popularly associated with black culture: LaVar, LaVelle, LaDon or LaDawn or LaDonna, etc. Latrelle Sprewell = black. Latrelle Jensen = mormon. LeBron James = black. LeBron Christiansen = mormon. LeVar Burton = black. LeVar Eccles = mormon. (I once worked with a mormon guy named LaDan once.) Or mashing up the two parents’ names, “Brangelina” style.

    http://wesclark.com/ubn/article.html

  204. John Revolta said,

    April 20, 2012 at 7:15

    Funny- according to Forbes, speculators in oil futures are currently adding about 56 cents to the price of a gallon of gas.

    But, you know, class warfare.

  205. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2012 at 7:45

    Someone needs to inform that Bishop that most of us don’t think that buggering pre-pubescent children is an adequate form of birth control.

    Sadly, it’s worked out great for the Bish so far.

  206. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2012 at 7:48

    Was Megan McArdle writing for the Economist then?

    Rhetorical, I know, but McMegan was about 22 in ’95. She rode to notoriety on 9/11′s coattails.

  207. bughunter, up past his bedtime, said,

    April 20, 2012 at 7:58

    Just reading about how, now that the last anti-Romney has dropped out of the race, we’re about to witness a conservative landslide in November. Because, you know, America is a center-right country.

    Shorter Michael Patrick Leahy: Because teabaggers are spiteful political vandals and liberals are lazy, apathetic poopyheads, Obama is going down like a Brazilian Hooker on Fat Tuesday.

    Also, I’m wondering why the hairs I pluck out of my ears so resemble my pubic hairs.

  208. alec said,

    April 20, 2012 at 8:41

    Was Megan McArdle writing for the Economist then?

    Rhetorical, I know, but McMegan was about 22 in ’95. She rode to notoriety on 9/11?s coattails.

    The Economist is conventional wisdom doled out by public-school apple-polishers, dressed up as jaundiced old-man talk. (Writers in the know assume a median age of around 22 among its editors.)

    I doubt that Elfy McSucksalot is actually intelligent enough to have hacked it there, but if she wasn’t too dim a bulb, and too American, she’d be a perfect match: just intelligent enough to cut it in a non-party school, but so rich and narrowly tailored for academic success as to get away with thinking she’s the biggest genius who has ever lived.

    On the whole, though, when you go back and read the neoliberal papers of record in the early 90s imagining McArdle (like, early-career McArdle, so not even hardened into fraud to defend their starry-eyed self-serving conventional idealism yet) writing them won’t steer you wrong.

    Of course, she’s now creeping up on her forties and still writes like the girl in the sorority who thinks of herself as the smart one.

  209. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2012 at 10:27

    Bedtime?

    Related. Not pimpin’, just a form of “ahem.”

  210. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2012 at 10:36

    I doubt that Elfy McSucksalot is actually intelligent enough to have hacked it there

    Megan McArdle is a senior editor for The Atlantic who writes about business and economics. She has worked at three start-ups, a consulting firm, an investment bank, a disaster recovery firm at Ground Zero, and The Economist. She is currently on leave.

    I guess she couldn’t hack it at The Economist, but she was there. Does seem a better fit at The Atlantic.

  211. Christopher said,

    April 20, 2012 at 11:15

    I will never understand this fascination people have with armchair psychoanalysis of political candidates.

    Mainly I don’t get it because everybody seems to be really bad at it.

  212. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 11:37

    transform the asset-strippers

    Working the pole while wearing a top hat and monocle must be more difficult than we know.

  213. Smut Clyde said,

    April 20, 2012 at 12:05

    I will never understand this fascination people have with armchair psychoanalysis of political candidates.

    Ze reasons for its appeal, zey are rooted in ze id. It is comp-lic-ated.
    [puffs thoughtfully at pipe].

  214. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 13:07

    Funny- according to Forbes, speculators in oil futures are currently adding about 56 cents to the price of a gallon of gas.

    When asked to appraise why markets experienced a sudden crash on May 6, 2011, without any apparent reason, Wall Street analyst Peter Cohan explained why such things are happening more often, and in wilder swings:

    “… 70 percent of the volume of trading on the stock exchanges these days is done by something called flash traders, and that’s basically computers that buy and sell stocks and hold them for about 11 seconds on average. So all of the discussions that we have the economy, politics, regulations, company earnings — all that stuff — there’s just no way that a computer holding and selling a stock in 11 seconds is going to be able to do all of that analysis. So it’s really all out the window. And there’s really no clear-cut explanation for why stocks move up and down every day.”

    Transform the asset-strippers indeed.

  215. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 13:24

    I will never understand this fascination people have with armchair psychoanalysis of political candidates.

    I’ve always found it pretty interesting. I mean, the wingnut mind is pretty fascinating in a car wreck sort of way.

    I love talking about how BIZARRELY mittens acts. I mean, he’s just such a weirdo. WHY?

  216. deering said,

    April 20, 2012 at 13:48

    “I love talking about how BIZARRELY mittens acts. I mean, he’s just such a weirdo. WHY?”

    It’s hard to be normal once you’ve escaped from under Disney World via the Villa Straylight, no?

  217. deering said,

    April 20, 2012 at 13:49

    …or if you are Don Draper’s ultimate revenge…

  218. Cole said,

    April 20, 2012 at 14:36

    from the comments:

    “One more post. Social Justice for blacks is confusing. In the sixites, blacks could have started businesses. Instead, blacks listened to the Hippies. Smoke pot, sell pot, and watch TV. Do nothing, dream instead of deal with reality, and wait for the Democrats to build a fantasy world for you. Blacks could have become entrepreneurs. Blacks could have started business after business.”

    Ah, yes…flamewarrior7, hisownself, laying down the Righteous Truth. I have particularly enjoyed the products of flamewarrior7′s unparalleled line of products from his extensive number of successful businesses he’s started over the decades while making himself into the normal (nay, SUPERnormal) “constructive productive American” he is today.

    That every dusky-hued man, woman and child we so graciously allowed to join our society (after hundreds of years of slavery and then another century of Apartheid) hasn’t already become millionaire entrepreneurs is a sad testament to their inferiority to mad-talented business growers like flamewarrior7.

    I vote we put an end to the probation period; call it a loss, and go back to the Old Ways.

  219. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 14:42

    It’s early, but I think Cole’s post will be hard to top.

  220. Cole said,

    April 20, 2012 at 14:52

    I will never understand this fascination people have with armchair psychoanalysis of political candidates

    I think normal people do it because they are truly fascinated by some of the bizarre personalities that aspire to public celebrity, particularly politicians, because we wonder what drives a human being to actually seem to want such things. Normal people also are skeptical of the motivations of someone who so desperately needs to attain power over others.

    Wingnuts probably do it just because they have it done to them all the time, and while they don’t really “get” it, they know it feels bad so they figure they’ll do it to others. Also, pseudopsychoanalysis fits right in with their “understanding” of science in general–that it’s something elitists sit around and make up. So, a deep exploration of whether Big Foot is related to the Abominable Snowman can segue straight into deconstructing Obama’s relationship with his mother (or the woman who CLAIMS to be his mother, wink wink).

  221. Cole said,

    April 20, 2012 at 14:58

    Shorter Cole:

    They do it cause it makes ‘em feel smart.

    You libruhls think you’re so educated callin’ Beivik CRAZY just because he was a bit enthusiastic in his White Heritage Pride? Well, Obama’s mamma was a cruel whore, so there. Hahahahahahahah

  222. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:24

    Her name was STANLEY!

  223. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:28

    They do it cause it makes ‘em feel smart.

    indeed…especially when you consider that some of their leading lights are irky irksome and sarah palin…my bob! i couldn’t get through the ‘obummer’s stupidity (and envy?) is the reason gas prices are so high!’ screed because, really? do they not have proof readers over there? i’m serious….brian darling’s sentence about obama not ‘taking the right tact’ on his energy policy outright angered me…i know i make spelling and grammatical mistakes and am prone to tagfail, but holytittyfuckingchrist! i’m not getting paid to write shit…

    i know this all sounds petty…and it’s all the great white male’s fault…and obama’s and i would be remiss if i did not blame hitler…

  224. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:29

    Her name was STANLEY!

    that’s right…first off: BOY’S NAME!!! secondly: it’s a hammer! she gonna lay that hammer down!

  225. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:31

    oh, also too…i forgot…i fear sarah palin because she is a smart, successful, strong woman! that’s why i can’t read articles that quote her and her endless repeat of the one sentence she’s trying to make a point with…much like brian darling and his writing…srsly…if anything was ever crafted for a one sentence shorter that article was it…

  226. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:32

    Her name was Stanley
    She was quite handy
    Yadda yadda Copacabana

  227. RWW said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:34

    Re the coming conservative toilet flush

    In Leahy’s thoughtful analysis (cough)(bullshit) he merely decided that Obama should lose 9% across the board from what he won in 2008 and therefore since he beat Grampy by less than 8%, he can’t possibly win. He stacks up all the states based on this minus 9% rule and even throwing Obama a handful more states, Romney’s lead is insurmountable. Election is over folks. Dewey Defeats Truman!

  228. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:37

    What’s funny in retrospect is that Dewey was are spectacle liberal Republican. Arguably he was left of Obama.

  229. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:39

    I am not immune to trying to psychoanalyze politicians. I do try to occasionally to figure out what makes them tick. Sadly I often run in to the problem of the stupid/evil dichotomy. I look at what conservative politicians propose, and I can only imagine that to propose ending medicare, to oppose national health care, to try to start a war in Iran, those politicians must be some potent mix of stupid and evil. I can’t get past that. I don’t particularly care to. What difference does it make if Paul Ryan got hit lunch money stolen day after day by a sixth grade cabal of radical redistributionists or if Grover Norquist can only achieve orgasm by drowning poor children in his bathtub? Seriously, there is no magical medication or therapy we can give them to turn them into functional, non destructive members of society. And even if there were a therapy or drug that could give them empathy, it wouldn’t be ethical to force them to take it. From all appearances, the Ron Pauls, the Sarah Palins, the Grover Norquists and Rush Limbaughs of the world all appear to be happy with who they are and inflict the damage they do on America and the world with the joy of a craftsman creating a useful and beautiful masterpiece.

  230. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:50

    Rassin frassin autocorrect.

  231. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 15:57

    Rush Limbaughs of the world all appear to be happy with who they are and inflict the damage they do on America and the world with the joy of a craftsman creating a useful and beautiful masterpiece.

    They went poopy NEAR THE TOILET! Of course they’re proud.

  232. tigris said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:00

    Surely, if prices were high for some reason they approve of, like just because, or that’s what people are willing to pay, or that’s the magic hand of god at work, then they’d be JUST FINE with that and bitterly oppose any effort whatsoever to bring prices down.

    Ah, but prices are up because governmental regulations artificially limit the supply. Why this is affecting prices now instead of all the rest of the time under the same regulations is because OMG LOOK OVER THERE! A VERY SHINY THING!

    [puffs thoughtfully at pipe].

    Perv.

    So all of the discussions that we have the economy, politics, regulations, company earnings — all that stuff — there’s just no way that a computer holding and selling a stock in 11 seconds is going to be able to do all of that analysis. So it’s really all out the window. And there’s really no clear-cut explanation for why stocks move up and down every day.

    That’s really disturbing.

    flamewarrior7?s unparalleled line of products

    XTREME douches are now banned in all states except Texas, and even there they are for official use only.

  233. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:03

    QuoteFAIL.

    And do I even want to know what official use of douches is?

  234. tigris said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:04

    The author went on to advise the Russian government that rather than try to seize these ill-gotten gains back from their current owners, the best way of handling the situation would be to *legitimise* ownership and transform the asset-strippers from a motley crew of extortionists and fraudsters into fully-respected stakeholders in society. That way, apparently, they would use their wealth for *everyone’s* benefit.

    Wow, it really is the unquestioning magical thinking of the cultist.

  235. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:05

    Douche
    Douche
    Douche
    Douche of earl earl earl

  236. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:05

    That being said, the champagne-dispensing truck nutz are super classy.

  237. tigris said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:05

    And do I even want to know what official use of douches is?

    I don’t know, but I hear Texas judges and legislators just can’t get enough.

  238. J Neo Marvin said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:20

    Regarding the whole Colombian hooker scandal- patronizing hookers is probably the least horrible thing that the U.S. Government has done in Latin America.

    Yes, but trying to cheat them out of their earnings (which is how this scandal blew up in the first place) is pretty consistent with our past policies over there.

  239. J Neo Marvin said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:21

    OK, OK, don’t you all ahem me at once…

  240. Pryme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:35

    So Helmut, what you’re saying is they’re basically real-life Batman villains?

  241. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:43

    It’s always what? Oh yeah, projection.

    I live on the gulf coast. The newspaper that serves the very wealthy, very consrvative city just south of me had an article on-line about the damage that the BP oil spill is still wreaking on the gulf eco-system even after two years. Almost immediately in the comment section the wingnuts jumped in with rants about the “Obama oil spill”.

  242. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 16:46

    So Helmut, what you’re saying is they’re basically real-life Batman villains?

    No. Batman’s villains had a much better sense of style. And often, far better reasons for being complete monsters.

  243. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:02

    Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

    I always find it amazing how right-wingers can parse and analyze a person’s comments and actions to the very paranoid essence they possibly can, but Ted Nugent was merely joking.

  244. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:06

    What are the odds that the office server would have a RAID crash the same day I’m moving?

  245. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:11

    What are the odds that the office server would have a RAID crash the same day I’m moving?

    I’d say the odds are pretty good, judging by your comment. You have a backup, yes?

  246. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:17

    Sadly I often run in to the problem of the stupid/evil dichotomy

    I’m not sure that falls under the definition of dichotomy. I don’t buy that people like GWB were actually stupid. I’d put him at average intelligence or so, possibly slightly above, but with a complete lack of leadership skills and a very messy value system that fails to account for the value of human life and a completely absent sense of irony. I do know that there are many very stupid people who are very evil.

  247. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:19

    Tsam – I have three independent back ups but I have to get them running for everyone’s access.

  248. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:22

    You have a backup, yes?

    STOP RUBBING IT IN

  249. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:23

    STOP RUBBING IT IN

    That’s NOT what you said last night.

  250. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:24

    the “Obama oil spill”.

    my god…is there nothing this man won’t do to kill the hopes and dreams of millions?!?!?!?

  251. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:24

    Tsam – I have three independent back ups but I have to get them running for everyone’s access.

    Can you set up a little peer to peer network with a regular machine for the moment?

  252. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:25

    That’s NOT what you said last night

    oh yeah, i was going to mention that you weren’t very hard on the beaver last night…thanks!

  253. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:35

    Yeah, when I’m done with the movers at the old apartment.

  254. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:42

    “One more post. Social Justice for blacks is confusing. In the sixites, blacks could have started businesses. Instead, blacks listened to the Hippies. Smoke pot, sell pot, and watch TV. Do nothing, dream instead of deal with reality, and wait for the Democrats to build a fantasy world for you. Blacks could have become entrepreneurs. Blacks could have started business after business.”

    I am gonna go ahead and assume this guy has never heard of Sun Ra.

    Not that he was a businessman in the traditional sense. My point is that doing stuff while black will not get certain folks to credit you with doing stuff. Sustained success on one’s own terms, like Ra? Doesn’t count. His fierce independence? Meaningless. Building an organization or movement?… Well, OK, will it serve conservative white interests?

  255. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 17:46

    Best new thing in the world?

  256. N__B said,

    April 20, 2012 at 18:01

    Hell, Marcus Garvey was a damned impressive entrepreneur close to a century ago.

  257. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 18:16

    My point is that doing stuff while black will not get certain folks to credit you with doing stuff

    see: Barack, Obama*

    *unless of course credit is giving for DOING IT WRONG!!!

  258. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 18:20

    a very messy value system that fails to account for the value of human life

    So you’re arguing ‘evil’ rather than ‘stupid’?

  259. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 18:21

    Best new thing in the world?

    this made my day…thank you!

  260. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 18:56

    So you’re arguing ‘evil’ rather than ‘stupid’?

    More like suggesting–thinking out loud. To be perfectly honest, I’m so baffled by a wingnut brain that I have a very difficult time figuring out just what the hell makes them think the way they do. My current hypothesis is that they’re a combination of both.

    I do believe that wealth and privilege contribute heavily. Bill Clinton/Barack Obama/John Kerry vs. Bush Jr…

    Seems to me that Junior’s pedigree was an escalator to the stairs the others took…

  261. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:00

    How much has it got to tick Rachel off to bring up her blog and get a 30 second propaganda video from Exxon Mobile?

    I know it irritates poop right outa me.

  262. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:02

    We interrupt your regularly-scheduled programming to bring you this important announcement.
    .

  263. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:04

    I know it irritates poop right outa me.

    right? also, too…i was amazed that the d00d in the commercial claims to be a black ‘engineer’…rlly? i’ve heard it on good authority (cough) that blacks are dumb…and prolly only got the job because of affirmative action…i bet he’s not an engineer but really the conductor…LOL!

  264. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:04

    How much has it got to tick Rachel off to bring up her blog and get a 30 second propaganda video from Exxon Mobile?

    I know it irritates poop right outa me.

    How much lower would gas prices be if they weren’t spending all our money on propaganda?

  265. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:04

    S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2012 at 5:21 (kill)

    I actually read this whole screed. Cause Super Sarah, The Power Palin(tm) is exactly who I turn to for knowledge on global oil economics: http://www.redstate.com/brian_d/2012/04/19/the-palin-bolling-proposal-to-lower-gas-prices/

    A redstate link to an article by Bible Spice? You are a braver man than I good sir.

    It was nice to meet you yesterday, although I should’ve stopped drinking beer about when you left… Another pint really seemed like a good idea at the time, but don’t they always.

  266. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:07

    How much lower would gas prices be if they weren’t spending all our money on propaganda?

    You mean how much richer would the executives be…? I’d say a few million richer–those commercials are on all over the goddamn place.

  267. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:08

    We interrupt your regularly-scheduled programming to bring you this important announcement.

    He doesn’t look a day over 5.

  268. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:11

    I commend the forces of evil on some very well-planned evil. Now they should die in a fire.

  269. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:11

    He doesn’t look a day over 5.

    He actually was five when that was taken. :) That’s the photo that got made into the cover for the Humane Society of the North Bay (SF area) 2012 calendar.
    .

  270. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:18

    I also have an awesome glamour shot of the woman responsible for my having a place to report to work on Monday.
    .

  271. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:19

    Studies show that average wages rise 6 to 10 percent when companies adopt performance pay.

    From Sub’s link: The piece of shit that authored this piece of shit links to a Heritage.org “study” to make the point that “merit pay” actually drives wages up. Fucking COME ON, MAN.

  272. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:20

    I also have an awesome glamour shot

    Wow, the lighting and composition on that is superb!

  273. rodert rudis said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:20

    Mango eaters come in all sizes and shapes.

    In March 2007 I was sitting under a mango tree in Nicoya, Costa Rica, directly across from the old church when an enormous iguana dropped to the ground with a huge thud. It ran twenty feet to a pile of rotting mangoes and started chomping. Honestly, I didn’t know iguanas grew so large. This one was at least six feet long and probably weighed forty, maybe fifty pounds. The lady on the bench next to me saw my surprize (and fear!) and began laughing at me. I asked her if the iguana lived in the park. She said yes, it had lived there since she was girl, maybe forty or so years. The photo is of an iguana in Puerto Rico.

  274. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:21

    Wow, the lighting and composition on that is superb!

    Thanks. That’s one of the first couple of dozen photos I took with my HTC Incredible 2 last June.
    .

  275. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:25

    Nice to meet you too, OBS. I picked up some Thai green curry and a six of Bridgeport Kingpin (good stuff!) on the way home. I’m sure I’ll be there next Thursday so we can toss down another pint.

    Meanwhile – Happy 420! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjAflu2aWO4&feature=related

  276. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:29

    You know who ELSE had a birthday, today, right…?
    .

  277. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:33

    You know who ELSE had a birthday, today, right…?

    Related

  278. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:43

    MEMO
    TO: black Americans
    FROM: white conservatives
    RE: achievement

    It has come to our attention that some of you are confused about our continual urgings to leave the democratic plantation, succeed as entrepreneurs or their thralls, etc. We had thought the examples of Herman Cain et al. were sufficient, but additional clarification seems in order.

    Do not get elected president. Ruining America is not an accomplishment. Incentives abound for well-meaning blacks, but these are not perverts’ incentives to destroy.

    Do not form an intergalactic cosmo-arkestra and take it on the road for sixty years. You may object, “but it pays the bills and affords me total creative freedom. I have thirty-five humans on my payroll.” Understand that you’re mentally ill. Your astro-black cosmology is Ptolemaic. Consider running a shoeshine stand.

  279. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:45

    Glenn Reynolds is gonna be so happy if he lives long enough.

  280. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:50

    The problem with allowing freewheeling sex with robots is all the fatherless cyborg kids.

  281. kg said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:52

    Poor Joe Walsh would be in real trouble then.

  282. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:54

    Where do I send my deposit to reserve my Cherry 2000 model?

  283. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:54

    Where does the cyborg put all the um…fluids? I hope this problem is addressed before they are commercially available.

  284. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:55

    Do not form an intergalactic cosmo-arkestra and take it on the road for sixty years. You may object, “but it pays the bills and affords me total creative freedom. I have thirty-five humans on my payroll.” Understand that you’re mentally ill. Your astro-black cosmology is Ptolemaic. Consider running a shoeshine stand.

    Neither should you combine forces to form Afro-Voltron.

  285. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:58

    tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:54 (kill)

    Where does the cyborg put all the um…fluids? I hope this problem is addressed before they are commercially available.

    Geez, does nobody read these very important, serious articles I link to. Sheesh:

    “The Yub-Yum offers a range of sexual gods and goddesses of different ethnicities, body shapes, ages, languages and sexual features. All androids are made of bacteria resistant fibre and are flushed for human fluids, therefore guaranteeing no Sexual Transmitted Diseases are transferred between consumers,” the paper describes.

  286. gocart mozart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:04

    The stupid gets meta.

    Parody and satire have their place – Christian parody of atheism and evolution

    Although mere appeals to ridicule is a logical fallacy, parody and satire certainly have their place. Because Christianity is so well attested to via evidence and sound argumentation such as the work of Simon Greenleaf and other Christian apologists, Christians certainly have liberty to use parody and satire. For example, there are certainly many parodies and satires of atheism and evolution (see: Comedy and satires concerning atheism and evolution ).

    In terms of Christian satire, the Christian apologist JP Holding features a humorous Christian satire work entitled You may be a fundamentalist atheist if….
    http://conservapedia.com/Poe's_law

  287. gocart mozart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:06

    Also,
    Godwin’s Law is merely an observational rule and is not meant to comment on conversations that happen to discuss Nazism. For example, there are legitimate connections between Darwinism and Nazi policies, but claiming that Christian conservatives are somehow equivalent to Nazis is very offensive. The key to understanding the difference between the above two examples is also the key to mastery of political debate.
    http://conservapedia.com/Godwin%27s_law

  288. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:08

    Geez, does nobody read these very important, serious articles I link to. Sheesh:

    I have an exceptionally short attention sp

  289. jim said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:12

    Best new thing in the world?

    ***LOL VAJYJY***

    Also too as well, when thou seest of it, verily shalt thou beshitteth thine bricks: the dumb motherfucker trucking next to the cliff there on that Appalachian Trail “SAMPLE” plate @ 01:13 sure looks suspiciously familiar.

  290. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:13

    Sex robot…

    Hm….

    New bachelor party attraction. Perfect for office parties too.

  291. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:13

    Geez, does nobody read these very important, serious articles I link to. Sheesh:

    I don’t buy internet for the articles, silly.

  292. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:16

    the dumb motherfucker trucking next to the cliff there on that Appalachian Trail “SAMPLE” plate @ 01:13 sure looks suspiciously familiar.

    Governor Sanford?

  293. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:17

    They should change the name to Victimipaedia.com.

  294. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:18

    I don’t buy internet for the articles, silly.

    HAHA! Awesome.

  295. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:22

    Why do the trolls choose gocart’s nym to jack? And seriously, trolling with conservapedia links? It is to LOL.

  296. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:23

    We should all swap names one day.

  297. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:23

    We should all swap names one day.

    That would be an extremely silly thing to do.

  298. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:24

    I don’t buy internet for the articles, silly.

    Hah! Well played!

  299. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:25

    We should all swap names one day.

    Don’t you meam I should all swap names one day, Tintin?

  300. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:29

    Jeez kids, listen to the Space Pope: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtqGTn7PCBw

  301. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:30

    The sex robot thing makes me wonder what %age of men, deep down, would prefer a porn-star looking woman who doesn’t age. Or talk.

  302. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:33

    The sex robot thing makes me wonder what %age of men, deep down, would prefer a porn-star looking woman who doesn’t age. Or talk.

    You don’t really have to wonder very hard, do you?

    They should talk so they can say sexy things like “Here’s your sammich”.

  303. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:33

    I wonder if we could sort of channel the people whos names we borrowed? Could I be Thread Bear? Do I have the sheer STRENGTH OF WILL?

  304. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:35

    The sex robot thing makes me wonder what %age of men, deep down, would prefer a porn-star looking woman who doesn’t age. Or talk.

    I’m guessing that would be equal to the percentage of men that are straight. The rest would would prefer a porn-star looking man who doesn’t age. Or talk.

  305. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:37

    would prefer

    Prefer to what?

  306. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:39

    Jeez kids, listen to the Space Pope

    I prefer to listen to The Space Princess.

  307. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:40

    I’m guessing that would be equal to the percentage of men that are straight. The rest would would prefer a porn-star looking man who doesn’t age. Or talk.

    Wow. Hear that, ladies?

  308. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:45

    Wow. Hear that, ladies?

    C’mon now, we’re talking about SEX robots… you know, for sex. If we want someone to talk to we’ve got Siri. But, most likely, men will want a sex robot that competely changes appearance about once a month. Just like Playboy.

  309. tigris said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:46

    You know you’re a woman when people talk about sex robots and where the fluids go and you’re all “WTF? Why would you want it to be THAT realistic?”

  310. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:47

    I had lunch sitting at the bar of a trendy brunchy place here in Wauwatosa, WI. The TV was silently showing George Zimmerman in court.

    Guy next to me says, “I don’t understand what makes this case any different from all the other people getting shot.”

    Bartender: “It’s just sensationalism.” Guy’s girlfriend agrees.

    Guy: “I thought Zimmerman was, like, a forty-five year old white guy. He’s black.”

    Bartender: “He’s hispanic.”

    Guy: “See that’s totally different. They’re very volatile.” [His exact phrase.] “So what’s the big deal?”

    Me: “Normally when you kill someone, you’re arrested at once. This took two months. Florida’s ‘Stand Your Ground’ law has made it easy to kill someone and claim self-defense. The victim can’t tell their side of the story. Now Zimmerman will have his day in court.”

    Guy: “Well I guess that makes sense.” Pauses. “I’ve got an idea. Let’s all stop shooting each other.” Laughs.

    I agreed heartily and ate my food.

  311. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:49

    You know you’re a woman when people talk about sex robots and where the fluids go and you’re all “WTF? Why would you want it to be THAT realistic?”

    Oh yeah? VS is a woman and she wants it to talk and grow old!

  312. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:50

    Golem Heart is also a cheesehead? That makes like 3 of us. Sconnie power!

  313. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:53

    where the fluids go and you’re all “WTF?

    He meant “Where do the fluids COME FROM?”

  314. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:53

    The TV was silently showing George Zimmerman in court.

    Zimmerman’s wife testified that Zimmerman should be allowed to go home to await trial because “he’s not a violent person.” Now, I’m not sure what the dictionary definition is, but it seems to me that if you shoot somebody that automatically qualifies you as a violent person.

  315. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:54

    Helmut, I came here late last year from Los Angeles. Used to go by CRA here. I am enjoying Wisconsin and can see myself staying. Milwaukee has real character, moreso than LA.

    Conveniently for me, I have no sports-team affiliations, so I can just pretend to care about the local ones.

  316. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:54

    You know you’re a woman when people talk about sex robots and where the fluids go and you’re all “WTF? Why would you want it to be THAT realistic?”

    You’re not thinking far enough outside the box. Someone will make a small fortune inventing a robot that can interface with a beer tap/ soda fountain / soft serve ice cream machine that will be able to golden shower and or Cleveland Steam in any flavor imaginable.

  317. tigris said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:56

    Oh yeah? VS is a woman and she wants it to talk and grow old!

    Perfect Man-bot: Those jeans make your ass look perfect. Want to cuddle before I fix dinner?

  318. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:57

    Helmut, I came here late last year from Los Angeles

    Well, welcome to the promised land. Assuming what you were promised was beer, cheese, and Green Bay Packers paraphernalia.

  319. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 20:59

    Perfect Man-bot: Those jeans make your ass look perfect. Want to cuddle before I fix dinner?

    OMG I HAVE NO CHANCE WHEN THEY BUILD THOSE.

  320. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:00

    Conveniently for me, I have no sports-team affiliations, so I can just pretend to care about the local ones.

    The good news is that you can become a Brewers fan and still have no sports-team affiliations.

  321. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:04

    I fucking love beer and cheese (putting on weight here), so that’s a plus.

    These Wisconsinites don’t drive like me. I am more assertive. If everyone could just drive like an asshole I’d feel more at home.

    And pedestrians should not be timid about crossing roads, either. Get on out there at a steady pace. The cars don’t need five hundred yards to miss you.

  322. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:07

    The cars don’t need five hundred yards to miss you.

    That depends on how much beer and cheese the driver has consumed.

  323. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:07

    Golem, have a Usinger’s brat for me.

  324. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:09

    And have a butter burger and frozen custard for me! Mmmm, fat.

  325. Golem Heart said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:16

    Someone bought my wife a bottle of this absinthe: http://www.greatlakesdistillery.com/absinthe.htm

    She barely drinks. So I got into it before she did. She got mad, since it was a gift to her. Now she’s away on a conference and so I drank some more, unthinkingly. It’s tasty straight, I suppose; I didn’t like the classic water-and-sugar method.

    Then I thought about watering it as a subterfuge. But you can’t water absinthe, since it gets milky. Now I hafta go buy a whole bottle for $35 and simply say I drank it, here’s another.

  326. Pryme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:26

    Perfect Man-bot: Those jeans make your ass look perfect. Want to cuddle before I fix dinner?

    OMG I HAVE NO CHANCE WHEN THEY BUILD THOSE.

    Yeah, but good luck getting them to try an kill a spider without punching holes in the walls.

  327. kg said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:30

    And have a Spotted Cow for me!

  328. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:34

    Robots will never replace men. Who’s going to watch all the sports and fart a lot?

  329. bughunter, born on the Savannah River, said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:35

    I just learned that in addition to being a stoner holiday, today is National Lima Bean Respect Day.

    I guess butterbeans are the Rodney Dangerfield of legumes.

    Since I can’t do it today, tomorrow Imma gonna make me a messa butter beans using the leftover ham joint from Easter. If you haven’t had lima beans made soul food style, then you can’t really say you don’t like ‘em. (Many people first try them when made with little or no seasoning… no wonder they get no respect.)

    I don’t need a recipe, but this looks like what I’m planning. This one is missing a finish with just a couple tablespoons each of cider vinegar and molasses in the pot, right before serving in a bowl on top of a wedge of skillet cornbread, garnished with some green onions.

    But be warned, limas are among the most flatulence-inducing beans… Maybe I’ll chase ‘em with a 4-pack of Murphy’s in cans, and see if I can blow the sheets off the bed.

  330. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:40

    Well, it is time for me to get cleaned up a bit, don the paraphenalia of my affiliated sports team, gather the gang together and head out to get a bite to eat before we head to the hockey arena. A win tonight will put us in the conference finals. Go Blades!!!

  331. kg said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:41

    Its also the anniversary of the Ludlow Massacre, as Erik over at LGM so nicely reminded us. Great series on labor history over there.

  332. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:45

    Here’s one for you, Thread Bear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmimLBSTEUw

  333. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:53

    I want to drive the Zamboni

  334. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:55

    Corpse-eaters unhappy with new-age loonies.

  335. LittlePig said,

    April 20, 2012 at 21:56

    Wow, the lighting and composition on that is superb!

    Thanks. That’s one of the first couple of dozen photos I took with my HTC Incredible 2 last June.

    Name’s good too. :) My Loveless marriage has lasted 28 years so far….

    And as I’ve said before, that LarryElvis is one handsome tom cat.

  336. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:02

    And as I’ve said before, that LarryElvis is one handsome tom cat.

    He’s incredibly photogenic… when you can get his furry ass to sit still!

    But… can he rightly be called a “tom,” sans testes?
    .

  337. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:08

    But… can he rightly be called a “tom,” sans testes?

    That hasn’t stopped Tom DeLay.

  338. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:11

    Coming up:

    Ooh, Baby You Move Me ||||||||||||| Linda Jones
    Mr. Pharmacist ||||||||||||||||| The Other Half
    Rock On ||||||||||||||||||||||||||| David Essex
    Clear Beach |||||||||||||||||||||||||| Champion
    Pervert |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Tonedeff
    What? |||||||||||||||||||| A Tribe Called Quest
    Everlasting Light |||||||||||||| The Black Keys
    A Boy's Best Friend ||||||||| The White Stripes
    She Don't Use Jelly |||||||||| The Flaming Lips
    Sophisticated Lady ||||||||||||| Thelonius Monk
    The Last Drop Of Morning Dew | The Flaming Lips
    Moonlight In Glory |||| Brian Eno & David Byrne
    Me Myself And I |||||||||||||||||||| De La Soul
    Breathless ||||||||||||||||||||||| Robert Fripp
    Batten Down The Hatch ||||||||||||| Snow Patrol
    Adventures In Success ||||||||||||| Will Powers
    An Introduction to Science |||||||||||| Solvent
    Past, Present, and Future ||||| The Shangri-Las
    Thunderclap For Bobby Pyn ||||||||| Sonic Youth
    Live Undead |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Slayer

  339. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:21

    Moonlight In Glory |||| Brian Eno & David Byrne

    What an ass-kickin’ album.
    .

  340. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:29

    Now I’m glad I got stuck on the Byrne and Eno in my youth instead of Ted Nugent.

  341. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:32

    Now I’m glad I got stuck on the Byrne and Eno in my youth instead of Ted Nugent.

    I made time for both, but one hasn’t been played in over three decades, while the other… I think I’m on copy #5? Never lend CDs. Unless they suck.
    .

  342. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:37

    Corpse-eaters unhappy with new-age loonies.

    Tee hee. I love to see the established cultists cry foul when an upstart invents a new prophecy or revelation. It’s like star trek vs star wars but with less arguing in klingon.

  343. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:40

    That hasn’t stopped Tom DeLay.

    DeLay’d touché.

    Martini?
    .

  344. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:41

    less arguing in klingon

    Do you KNOW how hard it is to clean phlegm off of studded pleather?
    .

  345. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:45

    Do you KNOW how hard it is to clean phlegm off of studded pleather?

    No, I can truthfully say I do not.

  346. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:47

    No, I can truthfully say I do not.

    Me neither, but I’m guessing a little spritz of Formula 409 and a paper towel… bingo. So not so tough, after all. ;)
    .

  347. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:51

    You know, if certain selected members of the congregation had worn studded pleather to church, I might not have been so quick to leave the Lutheran Church behind .

  348. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:53

    This abstract seems like good source material for JanusNode:

    The ultrafast metal-gate silicon quantum-dot (Si-QD) nonvolatile memory (NVM) with program/erase speed of 1??s under low operating voltages of?±?7?V is achieved by thin tunneling oxide, in situ Si-QD-embedded dielectrics, and metal gate. Selective source/drain activation by green nanosecond laser spike annealing, due to metal-gate as light-blocking layer, responds to low thermal damage on gate structures and, therefore, suppresses re-crystallization/deformation/diffusion of embedded Si-QDs. Accordingly, it greatly sustains efficient charge trapping/de-trapping in numerous deep charge-trapping sites in discrete Si-QDs. Such a gate nanostructure also ensures excellent endurance and retention in the microsecond-operation Si-QD NVM.

    Shorter: some smart people figured out how to make faster memory for computers.

  349. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:54

    Are you sure that isn’t already a product of Janus Node?

  350. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:54

    Martini?

    Yes please, extra dirty, with three blue-cheese-stuffed olives.

  351. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:56

    Are you sure that isn’t already a product of Janus Node?

    Well, it was printed in a respected science journal, so: No.

  352. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2012 at 22:58

    You have just destroyed one model xqj-37 nuclear powered pan-sexual roto-plooker and you’re gonna have to pay for it! so give up, you haven’t got a chance.

  353. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:01

    You have just destroyed one model xqj-37 nuclear powered pan-sexual roto-plooker and you’re gonna have to pay for it! so give up, you haven’t got a chance.

    It looked just like a Telefunken U47!

  354. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:06

    Also born today, a hunnert yrs. ago: Fenway. (The Park, not TBogg’s dog.)

  355. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:06

    It looked just like a Telefunken U47!

    With leather?

  356. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:09

    Well, it was printed in a respected science journal, so: No.

    You are just asking for it.

  357. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:14

    You are just asking for it.

    That article just begs for a:

    LOL WUT?

  358. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:19

    Oh goody, Lamorghini is gonna make an SUV.

    In related news, the world’s smallest penis will soon be identified.

  359. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:22

    They made an SUV in the late ’80s or early ’90s that could do 120mph on unpacked sand.

  360. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:26

    I had the great good fortune to drive one of those Lambo SUVs. Awesome.

    Here’s hoping Audi does as well for Ducati as they have for Lamborghini.

  361. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:31

    That article just begs for a:

    LOL WUT?

    I KNEW you were gonna say that.

  362. bughunter, solid state physicist turned radio tech, said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:32

    some smart people figured out how to make faster memory for computers

    Not just any memory, but non-volatile memory (NVM) which means it remembers even after you turn the power off, which is necessary for newly-popular things like smart phones, solid-state disks, and

    However, they appear to be trading off speed for some extra steps in manufacturing and/or programming (selective source-drain activiation)… and probably at a cost of some extra density, too… though quantum dots (QDs) are pretty darn tiny… maybe they have room to spare.

    In simply laymans’ terms, they’re bragging about how they’ve managed to reduce the amount of power necessary to write or erase binary data into silicon chips, and have done it by making even more clever, even more tiny devices than the last guys with PhDEEs did. Less power = smaller and faster (though probably more fragile and expensive too).

    It’s basically been the same story over and over again for 40 or 50 years, and will be the same for years to come, at least until somebody vewwy, vewwy clever figures out how to make a practical quantum computer.

    Don’t ask me how those work. It’s “sufficiently advanced technology” to me.

  363. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:35

    Don’t ask me how those work. It’s “sufficiently advanced technology” to me.

    I watched a lecture on UofW television on the (at the time) theoretical diagram of a quantum disc/processor. The concept sure seemed simple enough, though I think that could be attributed to the fantastic job the professor did of explaining how it would work.

    What the fuck am I talking about? Who gives a shit? I need a drink.

  364. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:52

    What the fuck am I talking about? Who gives a shit? I need a drink.

    I will drink to that (and in fact, I am).
    .

  365. tsam said,

    April 20, 2012 at 23:59

    I will drink to that (and in fact, I am).

    Grrr….

    I’m still at work. NO FAIR

  366. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2012 at 0:27

    They made an SUV in the late ’80s or early ’90s that could do 120mph on unpacked sand.

    Alack and alas, I am sadly behind the elite SUV times.

    And behind on the drinking.

  367. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2012 at 0:39

    bughunter, solid state physicist turned radio tech, said,

    Not just any memory, but non-volatile memory (NVM) which [...]

    Thanks bughunter! Here is the article I pulled the abstract from, which links to the original journal. The article is much more readable and interesting than the abstract to a normal human geek like me.

    And also and too: here is a surprisingly readable article about some recent IBM efforts in quantum computing.

  368. M. Bouffant said,

    April 21, 2012 at 0:57

    Settling “You know who else was born today?” once & for all. No, really.

    [George] Takei has the misfortune to share his day and month of birth with one of modern history’s worst villains. “I have a lot to atone for,” he said. “It’s also Hitler’s birthday. I share that birthday with the blackest villain in history. I had a friend that used to call me on my birthday to wish me Happy Adolf Day, but she stopped that after Columbine — they were celebrating Adolf Hitler’s birthday. So I was born on a very unhappy, historically dark day. If only my mother could have held me a little longer or pushed me out a little bit earlier, I would have been able to avoid that. But I have to be particularly good in this life in order to make up for that villain of history.”

  369. alec said,

    April 21, 2012 at 1:17

    It’s basically been the same story over and over again for 40 or 50 years, and will be the same for years to come, at least until somebody vewwy, vewwy clever figures out how to make a practical quantum computer.

    The transformative experience for me – that is, what’s made me go from simply scoffing at dogmatic repeition of Moore’s Law about hardware without paying attention to the foibles of software – was the Retina kerfuffle.

    Apple releases a new Flat Stanley PDA, and they have to sell it on some radical new feature, so their feature is twice the resomolutions on the same size of screen. And they can’t actually do that by the usual/honest method of shrinking the pixels, because smartphone screens have been using oddly-shaped pixels for generations – so they achieve a lot of their resolution via subpixel trickery. They get text down pat – that is to say, text designed for the new iToy will look great on the iToy.

    They seemingly throw together a scaler at the last minute. (Interpolation is INSANELY easy for 1×1 -> 2×2 – that’s how every ‘sprite’ or ‘pixel’ art/comic thing works.) And then the web starts looking like shit, because literally everything has been scaled up with an interpolator that makes it look like MS Paint jpgs.

    Apple has seriously screwed the pooch on this one. It’s not just things with aliasing that look bad; lossless, even vector-based images look bad. Anything not designed at the iWidget’s resolution – which is too big for any competing product, and probably will be for the foreseeable future unless some forward-thinking judge throws all of Apple’s lawsuits out of court – is basically run through a blur filter, for no reason.

    The enthusiast and tech press then repeat Apple’s line verbatim: only the advanced technology of the new iPad allows us to see how bad the web really looked, all along. People are gabbering about how dumb, myopic designers have failed sainted Jobs’s vision for the future. Design websites, which should know better, put up images of PNG logos being destroyed by the iPad scaler and take responsibility for ‘bad images’.

    I used to think that techie talk in our culture was like 50% unthinking repetition of corporate marketing. Now I think it’s 50% unthinking repetition of corporate marketing and 50% deliberate, self-conscious repetition of corporate marketing. After all, Apple are the good guys and they are imagineering a utopia and if anything we owe them better webs for their flatscreen future computers.

    And Obama had better act fast if he wants them to spend their money in America tax-free instead of rationally holding it in foreign banks out of rent-seeking spite. They’ve got a future to win.

  370. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 1:21

    I’m still at work. NO FAIR

    My last weekday of a 45-month “retirement.”
    .

  371. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2012 at 1:22

    Settling “You know who else was born today?” once & for all. No, really.

    Takei is a national treasure. He’s better than a self-cleaning sexbot.

  372. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2012 at 1:24

    My last weekday of a 45-month “retirement.”

    Are they “hazing the new guy”?

  373. wiley said,

    April 21, 2012 at 1:38

    Anyone hear from Cerberus? Iz well yet? I do enjoy the longers, too. They are so orderly they make me feel linear vicariously.

  374. alec said,

    April 21, 2012 at 2:10

    I do enjoy the longers, too

    There’s an audience for that? I did it for years and quit on account of I don’t like taking up my tiny, fickle audience’s valuable time. Nothing against Cerb, but I figured the formatting innovation was a matter of someone owing her money.

  375. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 2:25

    Are they “hazing the new guy”?

    I’m sure there will be something. They seem like pranksters, to me.
    .

  376. Smut Clyde said,

    April 21, 2012 at 2:42

    Geez, does nobody read these very important, serious articles I link to.

    I looked at the very important, serious article long enough to see it referring to the “University of Wellington’s Victoria Management School”. I hope the authors mean the Victoria University of Wellington.
    It is citing some speculative fantasy written by a couple of management-studies dweebs, who are definitely the kind of people I go to for insights into technological practicalities and human motivations.

  377. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 21, 2012 at 2:45

    Hmm, newest JanusNode lets you constrain word choices to include/exclude parts of words if it can… So “oo”:

    Possessing the bringer of goodness.
    Fooling the political root.
    Mooring the ooze sprite.
    Zooming the fearwood.
    Soothing the sharptooth lizardfolk.
    Impressing the doom guard.
    Stinging the brook trout.
    Nesting the bloodlance.
    Accessing the sabertooth fish.
    Looking the moon wyrm.
    Wringing the moon dog.
    Booking the wahoo.
    Attesting the snook.

  378. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 21, 2012 at 2:50

    Apple has seriously screwed the pooch on this one.

    LINK.

  379. islmfaoscist said,

    April 21, 2012 at 2:52

    They made an SUV in the late ’80s or early ’90s that could do 120mph on unpacked sand.

    I am holding out for the SUV release of the Koenigsegg Agera.
    The base model manages to achieve a nice balance — 18mpg but with a zero-to-sixty of 2.9 seconds.
    http://www.koenigsegg.com/models/agera-r/

  380. alec said,

    April 21, 2012 at 3:08

    I’m sure there will be something. They seem like pranksters, to me.

    Not merry pranksters, I hope? They’re the worst.

    LINK.

    I’m not Googling for dogfuckery today, friend.

  381. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2012 at 4:05

    I’m sure there will be something. They seem like pranksters, to me.

    I don’t know if that’s a quality I want in the folks running the municipal water supply! Never let a joker near the reservoir.

  382. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 4:32

    I don’t know if that’s a quality I want in the folks running the municipal water supply!

    It’s okay — I don’t live there. :lol:

    Probably more along the lines of being asked to go retrieve a non-existent tool from someone else, being given something, etc.
    .

  383. jim said,

    April 21, 2012 at 5:02

    Beware of Tarball Flu.

  384. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2012 at 5:36

    Probably more along the lines of being asked to go retrieve a non-existent tool from someone else, being given something, etc.

    Sounds kinky!

    Beware of Tarball Flu.

    Look on the bright side, at least Tony Hayward has his life back.

  385. RWW said,

    April 21, 2012 at 6:55

    Jeffraham, I’m late in saying this, but congrats on the job, man!

  386. Pupienus said,

    April 21, 2012 at 7:06

    Burgle blarf miskenttizischitz! Hey ya Ho ya keetchee manidou.

  387. John Revolta said,

    April 21, 2012 at 10:34

    Burgle blarf miskenttizischitz! Hey ya Ho ya keetchee manidou.

    This.

  388. tensor said,

    April 21, 2012 at 10:45

    … panties firmly in place.

    Please specify this “place”: your ankles? Your dresser? It would be irresponsible not to drink three double martinis for breakfast speculate.

  389. Karl The Crap Blog Detective said,

    April 21, 2012 at 11:27

    You know you’re a woman when people talk about sex robots and where the fluids go and you’re all “WTF? Why would you want it to be THAT realistic?”

    There are actually toys that *ahem* release fluids. Of course you have to buy fluids first and load them up beforehand…

  390. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 13:12

    Jeffraham, I’m late in saying this, but congrats on the job, man!

    Thanks! And to show what excellent sleep hygiene I have, I woke up this morning two minutes before the weekday alarm would have sounded, had I set it.
    .

  391. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 17:36

    Was that a tumbleweed I just saw?
    .

  392. Crickets said,

    April 21, 2012 at 17:37

    *chirrup*

  393. Major Kong said,

    April 21, 2012 at 17:56

    The cat woke me up at 4:00 AM wanting to play. I wasn’t in a very playful mood.

  394. alec said,

    April 21, 2012 at 18:15

    It would be irresponsible not to drink three double martinis for breakfast

    Words to live by – or at least let’s say that “cirrhotic” and “erotic” rhyme for a reason.

  395. Pupienus said,

    April 21, 2012 at 18:26

    Breakfast of champions! I would but were heading out for a long motorpickle ride on this first really nice spring day.

  396. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 18:31

    Breakfast of champions! I would but were heading out for a long motorpickle ride on this first really nice spring day.

    Do you have separate pickles, or does someone ride cupcake?
    .

  397. Major Kong said,

    April 21, 2012 at 19:20

    It would be irresponsible not to drink three double martinis for breakfast

    “I like to have a martini,
    Two at the very most.
    After three I’m under the table,
    after four I’m under my host.”

    Dorothy Parker

  398. bughunter, on his first martini, said,

    April 21, 2012 at 20:00

    Related. Not pimpin’, just a form of “ahem.”

    Thanks, MB. Finally read that. Didn’t pick up on the “our votes count more than yours” inference.

    And, bookmarked. Nice to have a local progressive blog. Mebbe I’ll merit membership one day… but first I’ve gotta do more than post comments on WP and Disqus.

  399. bughunter, on his second martini (gin+grapefruit+lime wedge=yum!), said,

    April 21, 2012 at 21:01

    I know I’m a little behind (not an intentional VBR) this week, but…

    Jesus’ General is just fucking awesome.

  400. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 21, 2012 at 21:32

    Jesus’ General is just fucking awesome.

    I can never forgive him for what he did to Brittney Gilbert.
    .

  401. Nym said,

    April 21, 2012 at 21:33

    Huh– Breitbart didn’t have drugs in his system when he died.

    The rest of the report is considerably less surprising.

  402. Major Kong said,

    April 21, 2012 at 22:04

    I would have guessed the cause of death as “Acute Hate-Poisoning”.

  403. tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,

    April 21, 2012 at 22:44

    brietbart’s hatey ons and excelling lyingness just never made up for his deficit in sententiousness and pious piousnessosity

  404. tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,

    April 21, 2012 at 22:50

    btw after observing my cat ignatz i have adapted a new political philosophy of what? I didn’t understand anything you said

    i call it Analgesia

  405. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 21, 2012 at 22:53

    Swirled Swarm of Undead Centipedes with Sorrowful Broiled Asiagos

    I think I am a quick fitter at heart sometimes. Ok, the part of this meal that people really like is the scorpion clan fighter wing.

    Ingredients:
    4 pinches fluffy swarm of undead centipedes
    1 bag sorrowful asiago
    1 stick Dirjeggudoc Photographs-Physicalness’s Vodka
    7 bunches Pausedpray Burch’s Scorpion clan fighter wing, glazed
    3 tablespoons Major Fumblinggum Corpses-Drugstore’s Coffee
    1 jar sesame

    Pre-heat your oven to 114 Farenheit. Preferentially grease a cookie sheet. Cream the swarm of undead centipedes with a really big egg slicer. Use a food processor to stir the vodka with the asiago. Stuff the resulting goo into the swarm of undead centipedes. Dry the scorpion clan fighter wing, coffee, and the sesame. Dab the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 46 hours. Serves 10.

  406. M. Bouffant said,

    April 21, 2012 at 22:57

    Ahhh … breakfast postponed another hr. or two.

  407. tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,

    April 21, 2012 at 23:00

    Swirled Swarm of Undead

    i preheated my over to 451 fahrenheit by mistake and now i’m illiterate

    will this affect the portions?

  408. John Revolta said,

    April 21, 2012 at 23:20

    Breitbart didn’t have drugs in his system when he died

    That cold turkey shit is NOT for everybody.

  409. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 21, 2012 at 23:29

    PENISES

  410. tacitus voltaire de bornelh said,

    April 21, 2012 at 23:38

    penis happens

  411. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 22, 2012 at 1:16

    … and that, boys and girls, is a story you can tell your grandchildren.
    .

  412. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 22, 2012 at 1:44

    Comcast: Shitty ISP, or shittiest ISP?

    I swear to Dog, I’m starting to miss dial-up at this point.
    .

  413. wiley said,

    April 22, 2012 at 2:51

    Don’t tell me— you’re all skipping through fields of daisies in the sunshine, right? I just waddled out the front door (walking like a penguin these days (but I’m walking (my neurologist is happy, anyway))). Blue sky. Flowers all over the fucking place. New leaves. Warmth. WTF?!

  414. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 22, 2012 at 3:04

    brietbart’s hatey ons and excelling lyingness just never made up for his deficit in sententiousness and pious piousnessosity

    Large hate-on collider?

    Don’t tell me— you’re all skipping through fields of daisies in the sunshine, right?

    Just imagine that I linked to “Walking on Sunshine”.

  415. Major Kong said,

    April 22, 2012 at 3:23

    Don’t tell me— you’re all skipping through fields of daisies in the sunshine, right?

    This being Ohio, yesterday was 80 degrees and today it’s 45 and raining.

  416. Pupienus said,

    April 22, 2012 at 4:36

    Whew! Long day of twisty carving with a few “adventures” included. One rider down but just temporarily- a walking, riding wounded. Marvelous day in the PNW! http://imgur.com/xzheO

    Btw, JP, it ain’t _that_ kind of pickle, k? And I need some Advil, big time.

  417. wiley said,

    April 22, 2012 at 5:01

    Yum, Pup. Are you staying in that hotel, or just parking there while you hit the beach? Hotels on the beach, with porches facing the beach are awesome. Watching the sunset on the Pacific. Falling asleep to the sound of the waves.

  418. Pryme said,

    April 22, 2012 at 6:13

    You learn something new everyday: http://teapartyforobama.com/

  419. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 22, 2012 at 6:35

    It was a gorgeous afternoon in Corvallis today. I walked downtown and had a couple of these: http://block15.com/beer/king-caspian-royalty-red

  420. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 22, 2012 at 6:47

    First they came for the water vermin, and I did not speak out because I was not a water vermin;
    Then they came for the two-headed crocotrolls, and I did not speak out because I was not a two-headed crocotroll;
    Then they came for the light attack hovercraft, and I did not speak out because I was not a light attack hovercraft;
    Then they came for the degenerate cultists, and I did not speak out because I was not a degenerate cultist;
    Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.

  421. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 22, 2012 at 7:04

    Comment 421. heh.

  422. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 22, 2012 at 7:21

    TCM lineup tonight: right now Logan’s Run, next Westworld followed by Soylent Green. 70′s dystopias FTW!

  423. Cerberus said,

    April 22, 2012 at 9:37

    Wow! This is an amazing website! I really wish I was a front pager here, writing posts…

    Hey, wait…

    Yeah, sorry for the delay. In my defense, I blame the Republican Party for delaying the inevitable after Santorum dropped out of the race for fucking ever.

    There should be more overlong mango-deconstructions resuming more or less on schedule now that I’ve gotten this latest post out of my system.

    On that note:

    New post.

  424. not a gator said,

    April 22, 2012 at 9:52

    Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2012 at 19:11

    I commend the forces of evil on some very well-planned evil. Now they should die in a fire.

    huuurrrrkk…. *pant pant* uuuurrrrrrkkkkkkk

    Damn you, Substance, tricking me into following a NatRev linky.

    Indiana, too. Figures.

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