Apr
3

Let Them Eat Air




Posted at 19:42 by Tintin

Joe Malchow
ABOVE: Joe Malchow

Shorter Joe Malchow, White Power Whine
Postcard from the Island of Individual Mandates

  • The individual mandates in the Affordable Care Act are communism, pure and simple, and will turn the U.S. into Cuba, complete with dirty buildings and crappy cars.

I don’t know where the geniuses at White Power Whine dug up Joe Malchow (other than apparently from the pile of right-wing yahoos that wash up in the detritus from Dartmouth every year), but he is certainly a doozy. In the post shorterized above, Malchow (“Bad Food”?) tries to draw a link between the individual insurance mandates, an idea originally cooked up over in the neo-Stalinist gulags of the Heritage Foundation, and Castro’s brand of communism. I won’t dignify this as even grasping at straws because when you are doing that, well, at least there are straws.

Since the Communist revolution in 1959, Cuba has been officially atheist. It’s just one example, in a place full of them, of an individual mandate that is at odds with reality.

Yes, Joe is suggesting that the requiring people to buy health insurance is just like requiring them to be atheists. It’s also just like putting puppies in a burlap sack filled with stones and throwing them into a river.

Like when the government mandates food. It doesn’t actually create food, just hunger.

Eating food bought by the government is like the mythical Chinese dinner that you eat and are hungry again in less than an hour. No, worse, food paid for the government makes you hungrier than you would have been if you had eaten nothing at all! I somehow have a feeling that Mr. Dartmouth has never really been acquainted with food shortage or hunger other than the time that the Domino’s pizza showed up 10 minutes late.

Or buildings. When the government takes away property, nationalizes it, and tells your family to go and live over in that Spanish colonial masonry pile, you go and do it. But it isn’t really a home.

The irony of Master Malchow, who is now all of about 25, spouting this hoohah about not owning what you haven’t paid for is that his own resume shows him as the prototypical wingnut welfare recipient, complete with a fat check from the Hoohah Institute itself. The best part of Malchow’s participation in the Hoover Institution Rising Fellows program is that he lists it under “Charitable Activities.” Honestly. To Malchow getting paid by Hoover to hang out with a bunch of other wingnuts is a charitable activity, like working in a soup kitchen or finding shelter for the homeless.

Malchow also lists “The Federalist Society” as a charitable activity. I suppose it is a “charitable activity” too if you compare it to, oh, I don’t know, say, mugging homeless people for pocket change or cow-tipping. Otherwise, not so much.


“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

523 Comments »

  1. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 3, 2012 at 19:45

    How about a laughing tabby?
    .

  2. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    April 3, 2012 at 19:47

    Actually, I think “Malchow” might come from the German “milk cow”. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.

  3. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 3, 2012 at 19:54

    an idea originally cooked up over in the neo-Stalinist gulags of the Heritage Foundation

    And thus, a very bad idea.

    But not socialism, communism, or any of the other crap the wingnuts like to babble ever since it was in the ACA.
    ~

  4. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 3, 2012 at 19:58

    Wait. You have to buy health insurance in Cuba?

  5. Golem Heart said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:03

    “The individual mandates in the Affordable Care Act are communism, pure and simple, and will turn the U.S. into Cuba, complete with dirty buildings and crappy cars.”

    Crappy cars?! I was led to believe the island was full of cool American-made cars from before the revolution. Roomy, powerful eight-cylinder cars with snazzy, crash-proof retro design, low gas mileage, no seat belts, AM radios for your Rush-listening pleasure …

    This probably isn’t true now, if it ever was, but it sounds like a wingnut dream.

  6. Mark D (a.k.a. Unholy Moses) said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:04

    Like when the government mandates food. It doesn’t actually create food, just hunger.

    I’m trying to figure out how this could make sense even metaphorically, and … well, I can’t. Because it doesn’t.

    What it does do is make the list of “The Top 10 Dumbest Things Ever Typed By Anyone, Ever, And That Includes Yahoo and You Tube.”

    I’d suggest he have some Cheetos in celebration, but looks like he’s too busy downing paint thinner.

  7. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:11

    Since the Communist revolution in 1959, Cuba has been officially atheist.

    In November 1991, the Communist Party began to allow believers into its ranks. In July 1992, the constitution was amended to remove the definition of Cuba as being a state based on Marxism-Leninism, and article 42 was added, which prohibited discrimination on the basis of religious belief.

  8. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:28

    Today’s “Let Them Eat Air” special is a nice Nor’easter, gently warmed, served over a balsamic reduction. Served with a cup of eye of Gulf Hurricane or a chilled post-Hawaiian afternoon rainstorm salad. Dessert is Icelandic summer’s evening, with whipped cream and a sprig of mint.

  9. Tom Allen said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:28

    Yeah, but, requiring I buy crappy private health insurance from a corporation is a good idea why, exactly? Kinda seems awful. Cuz I hafta do it already. I mean, better than nothing, but….

    Hey! Here’s an idea. What if I had a government that fought for policies that benefited ME? Then I might be energized to vote for them. Just sayin’.

  10. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:33

    I’ve been away: Good luck in your 2nd interview JP!

  11. Thread Bear said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:48

    I’d suggest he have some Cheetos in celebration,

    Cheetos doesn’t actually create food, just orange stained wingnut keyboards.

  12. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:51

    What a confused worldview. Teh individual madate requires people to purchase health insurance from private industries or pay a fine. It is teh government forcing its citizens to engage in teh market. IOW, teh provision of medical services in teh US is fucked up that teh government has made a law forcing you to either participate in teh borkened market or pay a penalty.

    If anything it is teh opposite of communism – it is, in classic neo-liberal style – blind worship of Teh Market, Hallowed Be Its Invisible Hand. It is yet another post-hoc legislative fix to keep Teh Market alive since, of course, Teh Market is Always Teh Answer. In case you were wondering how it is that libertardians like Heritage would evar dream of such a thing.

    It’s teh duality that conservatives and especially religious conservatives engage in (although let me state clearly that they do not have a monopoly on it). This idea of Good and Evil – Right and Wrong – Us or Teh Terrarists Them. Nevermind nuance or shades of grey or any somesuch – it’s beyond that. It is a “what colour is teh sky in your world” delirium. A world of a shining city on a hill surrounded by hordes of dirty filthy barbarians that drive too slow in teh passing lane and leave their cellphones on during teh movie.

    Everything that is negative is all teh same. So individual mandates are Communism are Atheism are Teh Left are Islamoterror are Political Correctness are Stem Cell Research are Feminazis are totally gay,,, IS THEFT!

  13. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:55

    I mean, better than nothing, but….

    exactly…it’s a start…but perhaps if a certain group of people didn’t piss their pants and cry ‘socialism!’ whenever single payer health care is brought up would be even better…i do not enjoy having to pay $500 to bc/bs every month just to have the added pleasure of paying for every fucking doctor’s appt and rx…

    i keep hoping that someday somebody that can make a difference will call those assholes on what their real butthurt is:

    if we move to a single payer system, they will no longer be raking in obscene amounts of profit…

    so, how about we change the whole idealogy that it’s okay for someone to die because they can’t get the medical care they need and that the rest of us have to pay out the ass for bullshit coverage and make up the difference for those who don’t have coverage just so that some rich assholes can get richer…

  14. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 20:57

    Everything that is negative is all teh same. So individual mandates are Communism are Atheism are Teh Left are Islamoterror are Political Correctness are Stem Cell Research are Feminazis are totally gay,,, IS THEFT!

    nailed it!

  15. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:03

    okay, i did it…went mango hunting…look what i found right away:

    It is interesting that those who have escaped from Cuba present a far different picture. I was watching DWTS last night and caught one gentleman who grew up in Cuba not extolling its greatness. Yes, I watch DWTS. There is something beautiful in seeing what can happen when a male and female work together to attain a common goal. It is the beauty of being male and female where we have such a great potential to be make life enjoyable for each other and those we love.

    wtf?

    Joe Malchow doesn’t post much (this appears to be his third post ever on Power Line, the previous two being in August and September of 2011); but when he does, he manages to be concise and insightful.

    again, wtf?

    The Cubans deserve better. I don’t know very many, but the ones I do know I’d entrust with the lives of my children.

    ???

  16. tigris said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:12

    Honestly. To Malchow getting paid by Hoover to hang out with a bunch of other wingnuts is a charitable activity, like working in a soup kitchen or finding shelter for the homeless.

    Well yeah, because while soup kitchens make people hungrier and shelters make them even more homeless, think tanks make people less thinky and thus more ready to vote Republican.

  17. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:17

    from malchow’s resume:
    The Steering Committee strategizes deep and continuing engagement with investors, entrepreneurs, and lawyers.

    eh…is that what they’re calling it these days?

  18. Whale Chowder said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:21

    The Cubans deserve better. I don’t know very many, but the ones I do know I’d entrust with the lives of my children.

    ???

    Means this person would hire them as their nanny.

  19. N__B said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:37

    The Steering Committee strategizes deep and continuing engagement with investors, entrepreneurs, and lawyers.

    I believe in this case it should be “entremanures.”

  20. Gerald Fnord said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:49

    > charitable activities

    Doesn’t assisting the mentally (and morally) defective count?

    Yup, tigirs (super) had it right: these are ‘charitable activities’ because all they do is to benefit Mankind [sic].

  21. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:51

    The individual mandates in the Affordable Care Act are communism, pure and simple

    Communism? More like Catoism. The fucking media won’t touch the awkward fact of the mandate being a Republican idea with a ten foot fucking pole.

  22. tigris said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:55

    a ten foot fucking pole.

    8-o

  23. tigris said,

    April 3, 2012 at 21:55

    That’s a surprised face, btw. The pole would’ve been 8———-o

  24. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:12

    The pole would’ve been 8———-o

    Now THAT is a fucking pole.
    .

  25. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:14

    You’ll never convince me that’s ten feet, though. I was born at night, but not last night.
    .

  26. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:20

    the awkward fact of the mandate being a Republican idea

    just the other day i heard someone of lofty intellect opine that even if this WERE true, obama only wants to do it to piss off the republicans…

    i’m pretty sure my face wasn’t like this: 8o, but more like: wtf?

    so, yes…they really do think that every breath obama takes is just to piss them off and that everybody has that same kind of mean spirited mentality…the golden rule…they’re doin’ it wrong!

  27. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:21

    You’ll never convince me that’s ten feet, though

    ha, ha…women are notoriously bad at measurements because we’ve been told that 8———–> is 12″…

  28. Major Kong said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:23

    You’ll never convince me that’s ten feet, though

    I have my wife convinced that this is 8 inches.

    |——————————————|

  29. tigris said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:33

    You’ll never convince me that’s ten feet, though

    It’s a big universe, something HAS to have a foot 1/10 that length.

  30. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:33

    Wagers on Atrios’ Wanker of the Decade? I’m thinking it’s gotta be ‘Lil Tommy Friedman, Aged 6.

  31. kg said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:41

    Well, NPR did mention that the mandate was originally a republican idea but they’re a bunch of liberal weenies so there’s that.

  32. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:43

    Wagers on Atrios’ Wanker of the Decade? I’m thinking it’s gotta be ‘Lil Tommy Friedman, Aged 6.

    Twelve quatloos on Bobo for #2.

    ‘Cause he’s a piece of shit, obviously.

  33. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 22:47

    Well, NPR did mention that the mandate was originally a republican idea but they’re a bunch of liberal weenies so there’s that.

    this d00d acted like he had never heard it before which i know is total bullshit…

  34. Smut Clyde said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:05

    My palette is cleansed now. Also my palate.

    In unrelated news, Donald Trump lends his credibility to the anti-vaccination cause (or vice versa). A cynical person would read this as a take-over bid for a section of the ‘mythic milieau’, as with birtherism. Trump has noticed a constituency of crazy people with a belief system that is not about him, so he is trying to acquire it and re-brand it with his own name.

    The hilarity ensues itself.

  35. bbkf said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:05

    well, i am off for a fun evening with the prairie stars special olympics swim team…and an overnight with my girl…have a lovely night in the hottub y’all!

  36. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:06

    Actually, I think “Malchow” might come from the German “milk cow”.

    I think it means “Bad food”.

  37. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:08

    Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 3, 2012 at 19:58

    Wait. You have to buy health insurance in Cuba?

    What about LEAFS SUCK? They’re communofascosocialist, yes?

  38. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:09

    and an overnight with my girl…have a lovely night in the hottub y’all!

    PICS OR IT DIDN”T HAPPEN

  39. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:10

    Wish I had 8″ of fuck pole to claim was 12″

  40. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:11

    Trump has noticed a constituency of crazy people with a belief system that is not about him, so he is trying to acquire it and re-brand it with his own name.

    He can re-brand childhood diseases… Trump’s Mumps, anyone?

  41. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:12

    Damn, forgot to add- Trump, selling rubes rubella.

  42. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:12

    The hilarity ensues itself.

    Hilariously stupid dildos and their money are soon parted. Let El Donaldo fleece those fuckheads for all they’re worth. Poetic justice, I say.

  43. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:13

    @ BBBB

    HA! Awesome.

  44. Smut Clyde said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:21

    Also too, if Trump’s intervention speeds the process of the Anti-vax cause merging in the public mind with the right-wing Know-nothing lunatic fringe, then even the ranks of Tuscany can scarce forbear to cheer. It becomes that much harder for the Brooks of the world to point to the anti-vaxxers as liberal irrationality and proclaim that “See, it’s not just Republicans waging a war on science and expertise, Democrats do it too!”

  45. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:21

    I have a spider bite. I have fashioned a poultice, in hopes that the arm may be saved.
    .

  46. vacuumslayer said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:28

    Careful. Spider arms are delicate.

  47. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:28

    I have a spider bite. I have fashioned a poultice, in hopes that the arm may be saved.

    I’d say that you were overdramatizing a bit, but you do live in brown recluse territory, no?

  48. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:32

    My aunt claimed she had a spider bite on her foot that didn’t heal. Turned out it was a sore from untreated diabetes. which she still did not take care of so it got gangrene. She lost that leg. And the other. And then died. The takeaway is, if your doctor tells you that you have diabetes, you should believe them.

  49. Dept. Of Redundancy Bureau said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:34

    Absolutely right, whatever your nameis – I’ve forgotten it in the time it took me to scroll down here – the government mandating that you eat food is a BAD THING. I expect you will cease eating now. Please.

  50. The Big Nymfail said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:35

    Grrrrrr.

  51. Smut Clyde said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:35

    from malchow’s resume:
    The Steering Committee strategizes deep and continuing engagement with investors, entrepreneurs, and lawyers.

    With a name like “Steering Committee”, I hope these staunch anti-communists have a Theory of Productive Forces and a 5-Year Plan.

  52. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:35

    I’d say that you were overdramatizing a bit, but you do live in brown recluse territory, no?

    Yep. And the thang is, you don’t see ‘em (that’s the “recluse” part kickin’ in), but YOU KNOW THEY ARE THERE.
    .

  53. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:38

    The takeaway is, if your doctor tells you that you have diabetes, you should believe them.

    Hah! What do doctors know with all their book learnin’ and tests and labs and such. Only doctor I need is Jesus!

    That also happens to be the Republican platform regarding U.S. healthcare. Well, “healthcare” for the proles anyway.

  54. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:42

    Yep. And the thang is, you don’t see ‘em (that’s the “recluse” part kickin’ in), but YOU KNOW THEY ARE THERE.

    They’re kinda like grues, in that regard.

    The takeaway is, if your doctor tells you that you have diabetes, you should believe them.

    Hah! What do doctors know with all their book learnin’ and tests and labs and such. Only doctor I need is Jesus!

    Jesus died of untreated nail wounds in his feet… I’m just sayin’.

  55. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:50

    Jesus died of untreated nail wounds in his feet… I’m just sayin’.

    As if. That’s just what doctors would say.

    I bet it was evil devil mind rays.

    Or maybe crickets. Can’t trust those little chirpy fuckers.

  56. tsam said,

    April 3, 2012 at 23:51

    I bet it was evil devil mind rays.

    From the JOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooossssss

  57. Smut Clyde said,

    April 4, 2012 at 0:05

    Jesus died of untreated nail wounds in his feet… I’m just sayin’.

    A tragic carpentry accident.

  58. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 0:16

    Crucifying the prophet.

    Hole-ing the holy.

    Nailing the necromancer.

  59. Whale Chowder said,

    April 4, 2012 at 0:32

    In unrelated news, Donald Trump lends his credibility to the anti-vaccination cause (or vice versa). …

    The hilarity ensues itself.

    My sense of humor is somewhat degraded by the outbreak of Whooping Cough here in Washington State. Thanks, Anti-Vaxers! May your children give you the care you deserve in your dotage.

  60. tigris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 0:37

    May your children give you the care you deserve in your dotage.

    One hopes they’ll get the chance.

  61. Pupienus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 0:46

    That a carpenter was killed by getting nailed to a wooden cross never fails to make grin.

    *Not to give credence to the silly notion that the guy ever existed in the first place.

  62. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 0:54

    *Not to give credence to the silly notion that the guy ever existed in the first place.

    If the guy had been real, they would’ve kept him around — I mean a guy that can turn water into wine? Pure gold! Chain him up and hook up a tap! I’ll take mine with some fish and bread too, thanks.

  63. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 4, 2012 at 1:02

    OT: I think I found Pastor Swank:

    Once again, all the conservative votes in the country “ain’t” going to help a “pro-life” presidential candidate, i.e Mitt Romney, Newton Leroy Gingrich, Ron Paul or Rick Santorum, in 2012 as the “Immoral Majority” rules the country and will be doing so for awhile. The “Immoral Majority” you ask?

    The fastest growing USA voting bloc: In 2008, the 70+ million “Roe vs. Wade mothers and fathers” of aborted womb-babies” whose ranks grow by two million per year i.e. 78+ million “IM” voters in 2012.

    From: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/04/03/muslim-voters-could-swing-election-report-finds/comment-page-1/#comments

  64. tsam said,

    April 4, 2012 at 1:20

    On topic

    The nail hole problem, that is.

  65. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 4, 2012 at 1:34

    It becomes that much harder for the Brooks of the world to point to the anti-vaxxers as liberal irrationality

    I think Bobo enjoys a challenge.

    And he can always confer with his friends at the Applebees salad bar for support.
    ~

  66. Christopher said,

    April 4, 2012 at 2:23

    So I clicked over there to see what he said for the rest of his argument, i.e. why blame Cuba’s health care system when Cuba differs from the US in more ways than you can count.

    Turns out Tintin quoted his whole piece.

    He did have some lovely photographs of Cuba, though, and I’m not quite sure what they were supposed to prove. I mean, they’re clearly not rich neighborhoods, but I saw worse in Philadelphia the one time I visited.

  67. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 2:27

    And of course, fifty years of US boycott has nothing to do with the state of the Cuban economy.

  68. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 4, 2012 at 2:48

    Does anybody remember “Sicko,” the Michael Moore documentary about health insurance that climaxed with him taking a bunch of 9/11 responders to Cuba to get the medical care that had been denied them by our own government? The Cubans took them in and took great care of them. And this was years before those Republican douchebags in Congress tried to cut off their benefits permanently, until Jon Stewart shamed them into backing off.

    Honestly, the only reason these assholes win elections is that hardly anyone seems to be paying attention.

  69. Nym said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:01

    the pile of right-wing yahoos that wash up in the detritus from Dartmouth every year

    Relevant. Also.

  70. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:06

    Can’t those Dartmouth guys just settle for vomiting on each other, à la Chris Miller?

  71. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:07

    Okay Dokay.

    Outie. Will be back Thursday eve, latest.
    .

  72. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:07

    Damn, Nym. Should clicked on your link first.

  73. D Johnston said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:23

    Wow, those pictures don’t look so bad. Hell, I saw (and worked in, and lived in) way worse places in the PRC.

    Also, that resume…it never ceases to amaze me the kind of connections the wingerati possess. Yeah, I totally buy that he got all those positions based on merit. There’s a part of me that’s morbidly curious to see what else he’s written, mostly because I’m a Sinologist at heart and he seems to have written in at least two publications focused on East Asia.

  74. gocart mozart said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:48

    tigris said,
    April 3, 2012 at 21:55

    That’s a surprised face, btw. The pole would’ve been 8———-o

    [Somewhere Kurt Vonnegut is smiling, having just read your comment]

  75. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 4:56

    A very surprised face:

    8==========> O^%

  76. gocart mozart said,

    April 4, 2012 at 5:12

    The takeaway is, if your doctor tells you that you have diabetes, you should believe them.

    Diabetes is liberal hoax perpetrated by the brocoli industry.

  77. gocart mozart said,

    April 4, 2012 at 5:14

    and so on.

  78. Chris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 5:15

    In November 1991, the Communist Party began to allow believers into its ranks. In July 1992, the constitution was amended to remove the definition of Cuba as being a state based on Marxism-Leninism, and article 42 was added, which prohibited discrimination on the basis of religious belief.

    Glad someone caught this. Rome and Havana might have been blood enemies once, but they’ve gotten very cozy over the last couple decades. Which hasn’t necessarily been a good thing for the Cuban people.

  79. rodert rudis said,

    April 4, 2012 at 6:32

    The surgeon who did my hernia this past January was trained in Cuba. He said the best surgeons are Cuban. I joked with him that perhaps I should go to Cuba. He laughed and said he would go with me…he really enjoyed his time there.

  80. boconn13 said,

    April 4, 2012 at 6:54

    “The Steering Committee strategizes deep and continuing engagement with investors, entrepreneurs, and lawyers.”

    I think we all know that ‘intercourse’ is a common synonym for ‘engagement’.

    The Steering Committee strategizes deep and continuing intercourse with investors, entrepreneurs, and lawyers.

    There fixed…

  81. boconn13 said,

    April 4, 2012 at 7:13

    Hey! Shoutout to D Johnson…I’ve often wondered if I was the only Sad Ren behind the Great Fire Wall. I’m in Changchun, Dongbei. AKA…What! Another fuckin’ snowstorm?

    I have trouble accessing my U.S. blog, but here is my QQ if you want: 1648956210. Next you’re back in Zhongguo, we should have a meet up.

    Didn’t you play for the Celtics when I was a kid?

    Zai Jian. Zhu Ni Kuai Le!

  82. PennyStinkard said,

    April 4, 2012 at 7:36

    Yeah, but, requiring I buy crappy private health insurance from a corporation is a good idea why, exactly? Kinda seems awful. Cuz I hafta do it already. I mean, better than nothing, but….

    Hey! Here’s an idea. What if I had a government that fought for policies that benefited ME? Then I might be energized to vote for them. Just sayin’.

    Alright, as devil’s advocate: If you’re going to use insurance as the mechanism for providing health care, you need to mandate that everyone obtain it; otherwise, you end up with a vicious cycle, where the pool of insurance buyers tend toward the sick, which drives up rates that force the young and healthy to risk it, which further skews the pool towards the sick, which further raises rates, etc, ad infinitum. If you’re using insurance, as a state, you gotta go all in. That’s why auto and homeowners insurance are usually mandatory.

    That said, insurance is a spectacularly poor mechanism for delivering health care. Insurance works best when the odds of catastrophe are fairly low. The average driver is likely to get into a fender bender sometime in their life, but they’re unlikely to get into a fatal car wreck, so car insurance, for most people is relatively cheap.

    In human health, the odds of a calamitous health crisis is 100 percent. Something must kill you. For Americans, that something usually involves a long descent in a hospital bed. Better that we just suck it up and go single-payer, but you know that’s impossible, because… communism!!1!

  83. animus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 8:00

    A tragic carpentry accident.

    I think they did it on purpose.

  84. Doctorb said,

    April 4, 2012 at 10:03

    The best part of Malchow’s participation in the Hoover Institution Rising Fellows program is that he lists it under “Charitable Activities.”

    To be fair, he doesn’t explicitly claim to be on the giving end of that charitable activity.

  85. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 4, 2012 at 13:58

    It is sad to see this thread go by without a single mention of fadging.

  86. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 14:51

    What about LEAFS SUCK? They’re communofascosocialist, yes?

    Not yet. Elections not for another two and a half years.

  87. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 14:56

    The Steering Committee strategizes deep and continuing intercourse with investors, entrepreneurs, and lawyers.

    I thought I was teh Duke of Earl when I made it with a red haired girl,,,

  88. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 15:30

    I thought I was teh Duke of Earl

    Sadly, in reality, you were only the Prince of Cletus.

  89. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 15:57

    I could be the Mall Cop of Nameless Exurbia, just so long as teh “made it with a red-haired girl” part remains true

  90. actor212 said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:10

    Isn’t the US of A officially atheist, in that it recognizes no state religion?

    And Machow. Sounds like a Pokemon.

  91. actor212 said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:12

    Sadly, in reality, you were only the Prince of Cletus.

    She called me “God” when I touched her Cletus, tho!

  92. actor212 said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:13

    I thought I was teh Duke of Earl when I made it with a red haired girl,,,

    I see your Chevy sponsorship came through…

  93. actor212 said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:13

    Frankly, that would be cool: S,N! commenters getting paid advertising dollars. We could be like NASCAR drivers.

  94. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:15

    It’s just really weird that conservatives, who demanded an individual mandate when healthcare reform, are all “no way, FREEDUMBS!” now.

    I don’t know too many people who can successfully argue both sides of a position and not be taken for a fool by 90% of the nation…

  95. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:19

    Isn’t the US of A officially atheist, in that it recognizes no state religion?

    No. It makes the US officially secular, just like Cuba is now. But the important part is that Malchow has all of one verfiable fact in his entire post which he gets wrnog.

  96. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:22

    Wait. My bad. He’s also got the observations that Cuba has received two papal visits.

    OTOH, I acknowledge my error and have made efforts to correct it. Malchow’s post still states that Cuba is officially atheist – something that hasn’t been true for two decades – almost his entire lifetime.

  97. tigris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 16:55

    I thought I was teh Duke of Earl

    Sadly, in reality, you were only the Prince of Cletus.

    Mom always calls you Sir Loin of Beef.

    What? It’s the only way I’m getting in on the mom action because otherwise EW.

  98. smedley said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:28

    My first car was the Dauphine of Renault.

  99. Pupienus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:31

    It is sad to see this thread go by without a single mention of fadging.

    It’s THAT guy! Now alle ist klar.

  100. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:38

    Isn’t the US of A officially atheist, in that it recognizes no state religion?

    Wait, wouldn’t an officially atheist government promote atheism, as opposed to a secular government which promotes neither atheism nor religion?

  101. Chris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:41

    Wait, wouldn’t an officially atheist government promote atheism, as opposed to a secular government which promotes neither atheism nor religion?

    This.

    The distinction between “atheist” and “secular” is blurred as all hell in our culture, mostly due to the religious rights’ efforts to conflate religious neutrality with atheist conspiracy.

  102. tsam said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:43

    Has anyone seen the movie Powder Blue? I watched it last night for the obvious reason, but it turned out to be a fantastic movie. I’m trying to figure out a metaphor and need help. What did the blue snow represent?

  103. tsam said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:44

    We’re not officially atheist. The government is supposed to take no stand on the existence of any deity(ies). Maybe in a few hundred years we’ll start recognizing that.

  104. Pupienus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:57

    It’s fucking idiotic to say that a state could be “officially atheist.” Atheism is a non-belief, a lack of belief in god(s). The notion that a state could possibly dictate that you _not_ believe something is beyond ludicrous, it’s fucking nonsensical. But then, most theists don’t know what the word means.

  105. Thread Bear said,

    April 4, 2012 at 17:58

    It turns out that the Republicans were right! Election fraud is running rampant in this country and something must be done about it.

  106. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:05

    It’s fucking idiotic to say that a state could be “officially atheist.”

    It is inconceivable that there is an official Cuban document that states “Atheism is the Official Religion of the State” or similar in spanish. But to be generous, if the Cuban constitution did state that it was a Marxist-Leninist state – that could be construed to mean that it officially recognized that Religion is the Opiate of the Masses.

  107. Chris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:13

    It’s fucking idiotic to say that a state could be “officially atheist.” Atheism is a non-belief, a lack of belief in god(s). The notion that a state could possibly dictate that you _not_ believe something is beyond ludicrous, it’s fucking nonsensical. But then, most theists don’t know what the word means.

    The All-Knowing Wiki contributes here.

    “State atheism is the official “promotion of atheism” by a government, sometimes combined with active suppression of religious freedom and practice.[1] In contrast, a secular state purports to be officially neutral in matters of religion, supporting neither religion nor irreligion.[2]”

    It’s possible. It’s been done. It’s just not what we have in America, or even anywhere in the West, really.

  108. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:21

    It is inconceivable that there is an official Cuban document that states “Atheism is the Official Religion of the State”…

    You might also be hard-pressed to find any American document that spells out exactly that the U.S. govt. is secular or has a secular disposition. The religious right has been known to take full advantage of that.

  109. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:23

    You might also be hard-pressed to find any American document that spells out exactly that the U.S. govt. is secular or has a secular disposition.

    Uh, what happened to

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion

  110. Chris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:29

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion

    “That means we’re not allowed to establish a state church, but just because they didn’t want us to have an American version of the Church of England didn’t mean they didn’t want us to uphold Christian principles.”

    (Channeling pig-ignorant wingnuts. The argument appeals especially among the non-denominational, evangelical wingnuts, who all adhere to Key Christian Principles like abortion, gay marriage and the like, without being tied down rigidly to one denomination like the Catholic Church or the Church of England).

  111. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:32

    You might also be hard-pressed to find any American document that spells out exactly that the U.S. govt. is secular or has a secular disposition. The religious right has been known to take full advantage of that.

    The treaty of tripoli, written and ratified by many of the same people who helped write the constitution, contains the go to quote on the opinion of whether the US is a religious nation:

    As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims],—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan [Muslim] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

  112. Tommykey said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:37

    Since the Communist revolution in 1959, Cuba has been officially atheist.

    Yeah, Cuba is so atheist that they recently declared Good Friday a national holiday.

  113. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:38

    I stand corrected, Helmut. Tis a shame that most modern wingnuts don’t acknowledge that treaties have the same force as enacted federal laws.

  114. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:41

    <i.The fastest growing USA voting bloc: In 2008, the 70+ million “Roe vs. Wade mothers and fathers” of aborted womb-babies” whose ranks grow by two million per year i.e. 78+ million “IM” voters in 2012.

    am i missing something? how can the ranks grow if everybody’s aborting? and what’s im?

  115. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:42

    i see i am missing a tag…fail…

  116. tigris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:46

    IM is the “Immoral Majority” in his parlance.

  117. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:48

    how can the ranks grow if everybody’s aborting?

    Zombie fetuses? Zombie embryos? Zombie zygotes?

  118. smedley said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:53

    In re “election fraud”: There was Paul Ryan, Wisconsin Congressman, right there at Romney’s side, either unaware of, or, more likely, blatantly ignoring Wisconsin State Law. My Magic 8-Ball says there will be no action taken on this felony.

  119. Thread Bear said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:55

    My Magic 8-Ball says there will be no action taken on this felony.

    Yeah, Acorn had to go. But we all know IOKIYAR.

  120. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 18:56

    My Magic 8-Ball says there will be no action taken on this felony.

    That doesn’t mean we cant call it “Sammichgate.”

  121. LittlePig said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:01

    Over at the Baby Blue Satan:

    WANKER OF THE DECADE – 8th Runner Up

    Richard Cohen

  122. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:20

    :“State atheism is the official “promotion of atheism” by a government, sometimes combined with active suppression of religious freedom and practice.[1] In contrast, a secular state purports to be officially neutral in matters of religion, supporting neither religion nor irreligion.[2]”

    It’s possible. It’s been done. It’s just not what we have in America, or even anywhere in the West, really.

    That it has been done has no bearing on its idiocy. Suppression of religious activity does nothing to “promote” atheism.

  123. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:22

    Tag phail. Everything up to the penultimate sentence was intended to be blockquoted. bbkf is contagious.

  124. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:25

    bbkf is contagious.

    Ewww, girl tagfail cooties!

  125. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:31

    TIL The Multnomah County Library allows cardholders to download three MP3 (DRM-free) songs a week from the Sony catalog. COOL!

  126. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:33

    bbkf is contagious

    this is not the first time i’ve heard this…

    Ewww, girl tagfail cooties!

    hahahahahaha…and i just sent some your way!

  127. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:47

    TIL The Multnomah County Library allows cardholders to download three MP3 (DRM-free) songs a week from the Sony catalog. COOL!

    The Corvallis library does something similar. You’ll most certainly delete these recordings from your devices after your allowed borrowing time is over, right?

  128. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:49

    bbkf – have you seen this story from your neck of the woods?

    http://www.duluthnewstribune.com/event/article/id/227647/

  129. smedley said,

    April 4, 2012 at 19:56

    Sorry, bbkf, but I couldn’t read that last line, ‘“It smells of unfairness is what it smells of,” he said’ without thinking of “Fargo.”

  130. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:10

    bbkf – have you seen this story from your neck of the woods?

    oh, jeez…no, i haven’t heard of word about this…i’ll ask the girls when i go downtown for caffee and barrs!

    ‘“It smells of unfairness is what it smells of,” he said’ without thinking of “Fargo.”

    heh…

  131. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:12

    feh…i’m off to talk to the insurance man about health insurance…why does the goatse guy come to mind?

  132. vacuumslayer said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:13

    “Ewww, girl tagfail cooties!”

    THE WORST KIND.

  133. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:13

    Poor Arizona, they’re such delicate flowers they’re trying to make it illegal to say mean things to them on the internets. It’s almost cute, in a stupid way.

    I’ll just say this now, before it’s [gasp] illegal:

    Fuck you Jan Brewer, you leather-skinned harpy, fuck you right in the ear.

    Yeah, yeah, it’s probably old news, wahtevs, fuck all y’all too! So there!

    Wooo! Breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law!

  134. vacuumslayer said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:15

    Omg, the dog is farting on me. Oh, the poomanity.

  135. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:16

    THE WORST KIND.

    They’re worse than eleven Hitler cooties crossed with bedbugs. It’s a scientifimatic fact!

  136. vacuumslayer said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:19

    Did u learn that at Oral Roberts?

  137. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:22

    Hello. My arm has not fallen off, yet.
    .

  138. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:27

    Omg, the dog is farting on me. Oh, the poomanity.

    My (sadly recently deceased) dog could really clear a room. It’s the one thing I don’t miss about him.

    Did u learn that at Oral Roberts?

    No, that kind of scientifimicating is too sophistimicated for them.

  139. jim said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:28

    Look out, Interwebs!

    Rick Santorum is back, & he’s pissed … in … TARGETING FAIL 2: KAMIKAZE BOOGALOO!!!

  140. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:29

    Hello. My arm has not fallen off, yet.

    Excellent, showing up at your second interview with a gangrenous arm is considered slightly bad form.

  141. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:32

    My arm has not fallen off, yet.

    You’re not masturbating enough.

  142. Another Kiwi said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:36

    Jeffraham shows the usual fecklessness (complete absence of feck) which is the result of socialanismistic welfare queens and milk in schools.
    May be it was a radioactive spider?? Are your spidey senses tingling??
    Kids these days!!!

  143. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:37

    You’re not masturbating enough.

    Oh, right!

    I’ll be back in 4 minutes.
    .

  144. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:37

    Irradiating the spider.

  145. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:39

    It really does look bad, though. No necrosis, but a nice red welt surrounded by a 4″ x 3″ oval of pink.
    .

  146. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:47

    The greening of Middle Tennessee is visible behind a rail-sitting LarryElvis.

    I wouldn’t have done that, but it looks to be really slow! :)
    .

  147. jim, sponsored by Summer's Eve™ said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:50

    Poor Arizona, they’re such delicate flowers they’re trying to make it illegal to say mean things to them on the internets.

    Otherwise known as Asking For It.

    Alternate Jan Brewer: FUCKING HUMANS, HOW DO THEY WORK?

  148. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:57

    No necrosis, but a nice red welt surrounded by a 4? x 3? oval of pink.

    The necrosis takes a little while to set in, so hopefully you’ll be good until after the interview.

  149. Major Kong said,

    April 4, 2012 at 20:58

    It really does look bad, though. No necrosis, but a nice red welt surrounded by a 4? x 3? oval of pink.

    I realize funds my be tight, but have you considered seeking medical care? That doesn’t sound like a garden-variety spider bite.

  150. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:04

    I realize funds my be tight, but have you considered seeking medical care? That doesn’t sound like a garden-variety spider bite.

    I’ve had similar in the past. It’s no worse than a yellowjacket sting, and certainly not as painful (nor radiating the kind of heat that said sting produces). Whatever it was, my body obviously doesn’t like it, but there are no other symptoms at 72 hrs., so I think I’ll ride it out, and let my excellent immune system kick its ass.
    .

  151. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:06

    But seriously, necrosis from a brown recluse bite is nothing to laugh at. The top-right photo on that wackypedia page is one of my favorite web comic artist’s leg after a brown recluse bite.

  152. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:07

    But seriously, necrosis from a brown recluse bite is nothing to laugh at.

    Oh, I know. It’s just very rare (both the bites themselves, and resulting necrosis).
    .

  153. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:12

    Most brown recluse bites do not produce necrosis, is what I’m saying. They can be very bad news for immuno-compromised peoples, and to those especially sensitive to the toxin, can result in necrosis. For more normal, health people, you typically wind up with something like what I have, now.
    .

  154. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:15

    For more normal, health people, you typically wind up with something like what I have, now.

    Even if the risk of necrosis is low, I still think the least you should get out of a brown recluse bite is a minor super power. I mean, like Aquaman-ish level powers, minimum. What a ripoff.

  155. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:17

    Even if the risk of necrosis is low, I still think the least you should get out of a brown recluse bite is a minor super power. I mean, like Aquaman-ish level powers, minimum. What a ripoff.

    I can still bounce a quarter off my finely-tuned ass.
    .

  156. Pupienus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:20

    jim, sponsored by Summer’s Eve™ said,

    “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my vagina to smell like a daisy any more than a daisy would want to smell like a vagina!”
    - Kathy and Mo

  157. Another Kiwi said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:23

    I’m having trouble thinking of a situation were bouncing coins off your arse might be useful, but, hell, a super power is a super power. Do you have to get a licence?

  158. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:41

    I’m having trouble thinking of a situation were bouncing coins off your arse might be useful

    This is why NZ will never be NUMBER ONE! NUMBER ONE! NUMBER ONE!

  159. tigris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:42

    I’m having trouble thinking of a situation were bouncing coins off your arse might be useful

    Really? Because I can’t think of a situation where it wouldn’t be.

  160. vacuumslayer said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:50

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned? And are there skilled ass-players out there? Wait. Don’t answer that.

  161. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:50

    Bouncing a quart of what?

  162. Thread Bear said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:58

    I’m having trouble thinking of a situation were bouncing coins off your arse might be useful

    Do they even have quarters in NZ? They probably have something weird instead. Like shillings or something.

  163. Pupienus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 21:59

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Elaine Donnelly sucks a bag of salted dicks

  164. Pupienus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:00

    Do they even have quarters in NZ?

    Of course they do. We call them hobbit-holes.

  165. Thread Bear said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:07

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned? And are there skilled ass-players out there?

    Skilled ass players are a dying breed, everybody’s just using autotune nowadays.

  166. Thread Bear said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:09

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned?

    It be sharp?

  167. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:10

    everybody’s just using autotune nowadays

    this precipitated my first ever aural cartoon bubble…one wonders what such a fart would sound like…

  168. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:11

    It be sharp?

    my experience is that men’s butts are usually flat…

  169. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:13

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned?

    It has a pleasing tone and fits nicely in scale.

  170. vacuumslayer said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:13

    So you’re saying that everybody’s ass sounds like T-pain?

  171. Thread Bear said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:16

    one wonders what such a fart would sound like…

    I’m not inclined to look, but I’m willing to bet you could find that on youtube.

  172. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:17

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned?

    When it’s well-tempered.

  173. tigris said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:20

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned?

    No beating when playing with others.

  174. Another Kiwi said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:25

    They probably have something weird instead. Like shillings or something.
    Groats. Not weird, groats. 628 groats to the fuckton.

  175. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:27

    I seem to have started something…
    .

  176. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:37

    628 groats to the fuckton.

    You guys must be on the metrical system down there. In that iother commonwealth country called Canada I think they still use the Imperial fucktonne.

  177. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:39

    How do you know if an ass is finely-tuned?

    You can receive UHF as well as VHF.

  178. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:41

    I suppose you’re suppose to twist the knob to get the tuning right.

  179. Leroy Taupe said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:46

    NZ hath not quarters, but fifths: 20 cent coins.

  180. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:46

    In that other commonwealth country called Canada I think they still use the Imperial fucktonne.

    Worse. Dry weights are generally Imperial fucktons (read short fuckton or “quickie”) but liquid weights are by the Metric fucktonne (read long fucktonne or “afternoon delight”). And that’s to say nothing of the ass-ton which apparently is used for the precious metals you mint coints out of.

  181. Another Kiwi said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:47

    Is that why there are voices in my trousers? I was wondering, a bit.
    Pup what’s that Imperial thing? Sounds like new fangled nonsense to me.

  182. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:50

    How many fucktons to the shitload?

  183. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:51

    628 groats to the fuckton.

    Mickey Kraus? Is that you?

  184. Another Kiwi said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:52

    Hah hah silly upside downies, it’s shitloads to the fuckton.

  185. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:52

    I’m having trouble thinking of a situation were bouncing coins off your arse might be useful

    You’ve never played strip beer pong, have you?

  186. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:53

    How many fucktons to the shitload?

    A regular shitload or a fucking shitload?

  187. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:55

    Hah hah silly upside downies, it’s shitloads to the fuckton.

    Only ’cause you upsidedowners can’t do math:

    0.125 fucktons per regular shitload, or 8 shitloads per fuckton. Duh.

  188. Another Kiwi said,

    April 4, 2012 at 22:58

    Oh are we talking about fucking fucktons? That’s the old measurements used only by cobblers and farriers.

  189. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:02

    I always wondered why they measured cobbler by the fucking fuckton, seems like such a large serving for dessert.

  190. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:08

    seems like such a large serving for dessert.

    blasphemer!

  191. Major Kong said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:19

    Is that a metric fuckton or a regular fuckton?

  192. Smut Clyde said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:22

    I’m having trouble thinking of a situation were bouncing coins off your arse might be useful

    Do you get to keep the ones that *don’t* bounce, but get wedged? AFAF.

  193. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:24

    Do you get to keep the ones that *don’t* bounce, but get wedged? AFAF.

    How else did you think I was raisin’ bus fare?
    .

  194. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:25

    Someone nymmed ‘daize’ made a request at my blahg for the “chicken demi,” whichis just slightly reduced brown chicken stock. I don’t know who daize is. If you’re ONE OF US (just saw that at your place B^4, love that movie) I’ve left a reply for you.

    Also too, I’m working on another post, maybe get it up today*.

    * What, there’s nothing veiled about it!

  195. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:25

    Is that a metric fuckton or a regular fuckton?

    Don’t forget the British Imperial fuckton.

  196. Surreal American said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:28

    Shouldn’t the metric fuckton be spelled fucktonne?

  197. Fenwick said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:35

    Newly-discovered feathered dinosaur weighs a fuckton.

  198. bbkf said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:35

    Do you get to keep the ones that *don’t* bounce, but get wedged? AFAF.

    omg…at our local bar, a popular game in the past was called ‘butt darts’ wherein a ‘player’ would clench a quarter in their buttocks and drop it into a beer glass…

  199. N__B said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:44

    A quarter what? A quarter chicken?

  200. vacuumslayer said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:50

    Ye olde fucktonne.

  201. Fenwick said,

    April 4, 2012 at 23:52

    Will Pat Robertson admit that airborne semi truck trailers and ginormous hailstones” are evidence that God hates Texas?

  202. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2012 at 0:09

    Will Pat Robertson admit that airborne semi truck trailers and ginormous hailstones” are evidence that God hates Texas?

    Nah, those tractor trailers were totally gay for each other.

  203. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2012 at 0:46

    Although nobody got killed by gay truck trailers in the tornadoes, evidently gay trailers are brutal thread killers.

  204. Major Kong said,

    April 5, 2012 at 0:55

    I guess that explains why they’re always parked so close together at truck stops.

  205. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 5, 2012 at 1:14

    Wow, all this time, I thought that “homo” in Homo Truck Drivin’ Man, referred to the man, not the truck!

  206. Smut Clyde said,

    April 5, 2012 at 1:32

    a ‘player’ would clench a quarter in their buttocks and drop it into a beer glass…

    N__B said,
    A quarter what? A quarter chicken?

    That is NOT THE WAY to serve bar snacks, sir, unless you are at ‘Zum Uerige’ in Duesseldorf.

  207. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:05

    Fucking spider bites.
    .

  208. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:21

    Fucking spider bites.

    You gonna need an amputation?

  209. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:38

    You gonna need an amputation?

    Hopefully not, but no real change since this morning. Not hurting, just now starting to itch a little.
    .

  210. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:45

    Newly-discovered feathered dinosaur weighs a fuckton.

    It’s a giant chicken!

    And the wishbone makes a hell of a noise.

  211. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:47

    JP, do you have any benadryl? Cream on the bite area or even if you have a pill it will help with the itch.

  212. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:51

    JP, do you have any benadryl? Cream on the bite area or even if you have a pill it will help with the itch.

    It’s only beginning to be mildly itchy, and I do have Sarna lotion… not something I would wear in an interview, as it smells like a eucalyptus tree’s pussy, if a eucalyptus tree could have a pussy.
    .

  213. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:52

    It’s a giant chicken!

    I prefer to think of it as four giant quarter chickens.

  214. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:57

    For a T-rex you want the drumstick.

  215. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:59

    And let me tell ya — fuck aloe. If you get a bad sunburn, you will call my unlisted number THANKING ME if you didn’t already know about Sarna lotion. You have to ask for it at the pharmacy counter, for some unknown reason, but that shit is AWESOME.
    .

  216. tigris said,

    April 5, 2012 at 2:59

    I prefer to think of it as four giant quarter chickens.

    Better for butt-bouncing.

  217. vacuumslayer said,

    April 5, 2012 at 3:13

    T-Rex arms were like totally vestigial and proof that not all animals masturbate.

  218. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 3:48

    proof that not all animals masturbate.

    I guess I can stop wondering about turtles.

  219. vacuumslayer said,

    April 5, 2012 at 3:56

    I first read that as “worrying about turtles,” and I wont lie–for a second I was really happy I lived in a world where someone BY GOD thought of the turtles!

    WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE TURTLES?!!!

  220. Another Kiwi said,

    April 5, 2012 at 4:02

    If the turtles can’t get organised enough for a little of Mrs. Palm then that’s why they mooch about in the sea looking sad. Too bad for them, I say

  221. kg said,

    April 5, 2012 at 4:04

    Nova is funded by David Koch and he gets a huge shout out right in the beginning. These fuckers are EVERYWHERE

  222. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 4:05

    If the turtles can’t get organized

    SOSHULIZM!

  223. Smut Clyde said,

    April 5, 2012 at 4:08

    Organised turtles all the way down.

  224. An Anklyosaur said,

    April 5, 2012 at 4:09

    Fuck I hate it when T. rex feels frisky for frottage.

  225. Smut Clyde said,

    April 5, 2012 at 4:12

    T. rex, desperate.

  226. Fenwick said,

    April 5, 2012 at 5:23

    WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE TURTLES?!!!

    I rate for turtles! When I used to live in SE Kansas, I always stopped on rural roads and highways to move turtles or tortises trying to cross. I had a box turtle pet when I was kid. I love critters.

    Jeffraham: I think you mini-Spidey powers may involve cat telepathy. Won’t stop criminals and super villians but will make LE and C even MOAR fun to be around. Also, I’m primed for Lucky Items incantations Thursday afternoon. Good luck.

  227. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 5:29

    Jeffraham: I think you mini-Spidey powers may involve cat telepathy. Won’t stop criminals and super villians but will make LE and C even MOAR fun to be around. Also, I’m primed for Lucky Items incantations Thursday afternoon. Good luck.

    Aw, thanks! My insider sent me 77 SMS messages tonight, emphasizing where I was killer-strong in Interview One, and that I need to keep coming back to those points to put me over the top. I Know What Must Be Done, and what I really love about it is… I can be 100% honest, and be myself. With that, I should have the job. No doubt!
    .

  228. Oregon guy said,

    April 5, 2012 at 5:55

    Sorry, but I thought this was the bestest quote from the Duluth paper:

    The waitress claims the money didn’t smell like marijuana. Two other restaurant employees who were working at the time said in affidavits that they also stood over the box but didn’t smell marijuana, despite both being familiar with the drug.

  229. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 5, 2012 at 6:14

    Waitstaff are familiar with all herbs.

  230. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 7:50

    You folx are awesome, btw. Thank you.
    .

  231. Leroy Taupe said,

    April 5, 2012 at 8:12

    I shot the squirrel, but I didn’t shoot the dungarees.

  232. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 13:26

    Prawns down on a bed of greens
    First one I bit made me weak in the knees
    You end up like a man who has ate too much
    And spend half your lunch just throwing up
    Prawns in the USA
    Prawns in the USA

  233. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 5, 2012 at 15:34

    WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE TURTLES?!!!

    OMG. DO NOT THINK ABOUT MASTURBATING TURTLES!

    I am serious about this. You do NOT want to know anything about turtle PENIS. And if that link didn’t scare you enough – let me tell you that the posted images are only semi-erect turtle PENIS. When turtles get really excited, their PENISes flare.

  234. Major Kong said,

    April 5, 2012 at 15:38

    It’s turtle penis all the way down.

  235. El Manquécito said,

    April 5, 2012 at 15:47

    Sounds like time for some Flo & Eddie.

  236. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 5, 2012 at 15:49

    I’m serious about the flaring too. The knobs on the end of some turtle PENIS is as big around as their other heads. And then they open up. It is horrifying.

  237. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 15:58

    And then they open up. It is horrifying

    Sounds like the zombies in the last Resident Evil Movie, “Resident Evil 4: The Profit-taking”

  238. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 16:01

    Also too, I’m working on another post, maybe get it up today*.

    * What, there’s nothing veiled about it!

    Fap harder

    Man, that works on so many levels…

  239. Thread Bear said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:05

    Sounds like time for some Flo & Eddie.

  240. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:29

    how exciting! my office just passed it’s environmental exam!

  241. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:45

    how exciting! my office just passed it’s environmental exam!

    Everybody fart now!

  242. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:56

    Everybody fart now!

    you always know where to go, don’t you…

  243. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:57

    you always know where to go

    Of course my mind’s in the gutter. It’s attached to my body, so where else could it be?

  244. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:58

    Everybody fart now!

    On this week’s “VH1 Behind The Music,” how C&C Factory went wrong branching out as C&C OLFactory.

  245. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 17:58

    Of course my mind’s in the gutter. It’s attached to my body, so where else could it be?

    You could at least try to look up at the stars.

  246. smedley said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:02

    More Flo & Eddie:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=988t2IclsAw&feature=related

  247. Major Kong said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:04

    Of course my mind’s in the gutter. It’s attached to my body, so where else could it be?

    I need a ladder to get up to the gutter.

  248. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:34

    yeeeeee-HAW!

    Gonna go ace this thang.
    bbl
    .

  249. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:35

    rilly? i don’t think it’s possible for them to be any more insane…

  250. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:37

    i don’t think it’s possible for them to be any more insane…

    I clicked on the link. Crazy eyes, man, crazy eyes.

  251. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:38

    Oregon guy said,

    April 5, 2012 at 5:55 (kill)

    Another ONE OF US!

  252. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 18:43

    I clicked on the link. Crazy eyes, man, crazy eyes.

    right? almost bachmann-esque…

  253. Pryme said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:03

    you always know where to go, don’t you…

    Didn’t they used to say, “Better the attic than the basement?”

  254. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:05

    “Better the attic than the basement?”

    Depends on whether you’ve got leaking flashing* or rising damp**.

    *VALR
    **VWVR

  255. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:09

    this webinar i’m in right now is booooooooooring…

  256. Pupienus said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:10

    Of course my mind’s in the gutter

    The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. – Euclid

    The shortest distance between two minds is a gutter. – PeeJ

  257. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:12

    The shortest distance between two minds is a gutter. – PeeJ

    that peej dude is so smart…wev happened to him?

  258. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:27

    this webinar i’m in right now is booooooooooring

    Can’t be too bad if you’ve had that many Os.

  259. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:30

    Can’t be too bad if you’ve had that many Os.

    timely comment…moderator is talking about triggering and what triggers us…

  260. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:31

    You don’t need to wear pants to those things, so I’m for them.

  261. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:40

    You don’t need to wear pants to those things, so I’m for them.

    i know! i’m not wearing any…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    because i’m wearing a skirt, you pervs…

  262. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:43

    Me too!

  263. tigris said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:48

    Beware of N__B, he’s lying in the gutter trying to look up the skirts.

  264. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:55

    Beware of N__B, he’s lying in the gutter trying to look up the skirts.

    he’s never been one to skirt the issue…

  265. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2012 at 19:57

    I demand that any punning be kilt RIGHT NOW.

  266. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:03

    I demand that any punning be kilt RIGHT NOW.

    oh, you know you would sari if that happened…

  267. Pryme said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:13

    I demand that any punning be kilt RIGHT NOW.

    No need to dress it up; show ‘em who really wears the pants around here!

  268. vacuumslayer said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:23

    Lord Chubbington is often without pants. Maybe he should get into webinaring. He’s 10 months now–really ought to start pulling his own weight.

  269. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:24

    Lord Chubbington is often without pants. Maybe he should get into webinaring. He’s 10 months now–really ought to start pulling his own weight.

    i would rate for this…chubby, cute babby much more interesting to look at than consultants going, ‘blah, blah, blah, blah…’

  270. 'natch said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:32

    Culotte! You guys are getting way to boisterous in here.

  271. Marion in Savannah said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:34

    If you people insist on making puns I’m going out to the garden to look at the bloomers.

  272. Thread Bear said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:35

    I demand that any punning be kilt RIGHT NOW.

    Subby, always starting spats.

  273. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:36

    Subby, always starting spats.

    etiquette he always breeches…

  274. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:38

    All of these puns are driving me pantaloony.

  275. tsam said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:40

    because i’m wearing a skirt, you pervs…

    **GASP**

    You think I’m a perv?

  276. Thread Bear said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:40

    You don’t need to wear pants to those things, so I’m for them.

    It puts the pants on its legs, or else it wears the hose again

  277. Pryme said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:41

    Subby, always starting spats.

    Personally, I think it’s khaki.

  278. tsam said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:42

    Lord Chubbington is often without pants.

    Add to his title:

    Chub Scout

  279. Thread Bear said,

    April 5, 2012 at 20:43

    Personally, I think it’s khaki.

    Well plaid, sir!

  280. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:00

    i am having an egg salad sammy and fruit cocktail for luncheon…i feel like a third grader…if only i had a half pint of lukewarm curdly milk…

  281. kg said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:14

    Using the term “luncheon” does class it up a bit, tho.

  282. Pupienus said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:16

    You guys and your dirndl puns.

  283. Pupienus said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:17

    Jennifer loves egg salad sammies as do I. With milk and Lays potato chips. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  284. Thread Bear said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:19

    I hereby nominate Kip Addotta as the official Sadly, No! songsmith.

  285. Whale Chowder said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:21

    You guys and your dirndl puns.

    Hey, Levis alone.

  286. Whale Chowder said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:24

    All of these puns are driving me pantaloony.

    Don’t skort the issue.

  287. N__B said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:31

    Don’t shart whilst wearing skorts.

  288. Gary Ruppert said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:34

    The fact is, Obamas heatlh care law is worse than Hitler.

  289. Pupienus said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:36

    I’ve got a culotte of love for puns.

  290. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:38

    You guys came up a little skort on your puns. Maybe you should wrap it up before someone gets gown on it.

  291. Marion in Savannah said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:47

    If you put a slice of ripe tomato on that egg salad sammich it’s even more awesomer.

  292. Pupienus said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:48

    Maybe you should wrap it up before someone gets gown on it.

    I’ll just knicker that in the bud.

  293. Pupienus said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:54

    Somebody needs to be visited by Junkpuncho.
    http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/1-gop-congressman-to-gays-lie-at-work-that-youre-straight-unless-you-want-to-be-fired/politics/2012/04/04/37535

  294. Whale Chowder said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:54

    You all have a flare for puns, I’ll give you that.

  295. Pryme said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:55

    You guys came up a little skort on your puns. Maybe you should wrap it up before someone gets gown on it.

    Denims fightin’ words!

  296. Pryme said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:57

    Somebody needs to be visited by Junkpuncho.

    Best I can do: http://www.cracked.com/blog/man-comics-return-punchmaster/

  297. kg said,

    April 5, 2012 at 21:58

    So, King is basically proposing a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” for the ENTIRE COUNTRY!!@@>!>????

  298. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:00

    !>????

    you say that like you’re surprised…

  299. jim, sponsored by Summer's Eve™ said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:20

    i don’t think it’s possible for them to be any more insane…

    Every picture tells a story, eh?

    Heather Childers: I know I’m always right – because THE VOICES IN MY HEAD CAN NEVER LIE.

  300. Junkpuncho, The Junk-Punching Alpaca said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:23

    Sorry, I’m booked solid through March 2047.

    This one’s all yours, folks!

  301. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:52

    !>????

    that’s an epic tag fail even for me…

  302. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:52

    Related to the link I posted upthread – the waitress gets to keep her $12,000 tip: http://www.startribune.com/local/146315905.html

  303. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:52

    I’ll just knicker that in the bud.

    +4s

  304. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:52

    Sorry, I’m booked solid through March 2047.

    This one’s all yours, folks!

    no worries…i have it covered…

  305. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:53

    Denims fightin’ words!

    Sorry, man, antagonism’s in my jeans

  306. actor212 (sponsored by Enzyte) said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:54

    Somebody needs to be visited by Junkpuncho.

    In fairness to King, it’s easy for him to lie at work: he’s a Congressman.

  307. bbkf said,

    April 5, 2012 at 22:54

    “This is a woman with five kids who has been a waitress for 18 years,” Richie said. “She and her family were praying and asked God’s intervention to touch these people’s hearts, and that’s what happened. It was about God providing for her.”

    heh…god likes doobie money…

  308. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2012 at 23:26

    god likes doobie money

    God made doobie, god made money, ergo god loves doobie money. Therefore, due to the law of unrelated lies, ipso facto gognito ergo sum e pluribus unum et. al.: the earth is flat. Also. Too.

  309. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 5, 2012 at 23:29

    God made doobie, god made money, ergo god loves doobie money

    Finally someone has phrased an argument for drug legalization that conservatives can understand.

  310. tigris said,

    April 5, 2012 at 23:37

    God made marijuana and called it GOOD. Then he gave us “every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it … for food,” and AGAIN called the arrangement good. Pot brownies: TWICE BLESSED BY GOD.

  311. Police Officer forced to release Pepper Spray to maintain safety said,

    April 6, 2012 at 0:03

    Spray ONE fucking four year-old!!

  312. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 0:21

    Now… the waiting.
    .

  313. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 6, 2012 at 0:39

    For JP

  314. Whale Chowder said,

    April 6, 2012 at 0:48

    JP: it went well then?

  315. Nym said,

    April 6, 2012 at 1:20

    I clicked on the link. Crazy eyes, man, crazy eyes.

    The Stepford Men’s Association QC is slipping.

  316. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:21

    JP: it went well then?

    When they start tellin’ ya you’ll get $100 up front to get your steel-toed workboots, and $150 towards prescription safety glasses, it’s starting to look near-certain, I expect.
    .

  317. Another Kiwi said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:26

    ha ha, that’s what you get when you go back to actor 212′s house to see his etchings! Then you can’t remember anything.

  318. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:28

    steel-toed workbooks

    Don’t forget the steel shank! Your arches are harder to fix than your toes.

  319. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:31

    Don’t forget the steel shank! Your arches are harder to fix than your toes.

    They tell me it’s overkill for my primary job, but today was the plant’s 7011th consecutive day without loss of a man-hour to workplace injury.
    .

  320. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:40

    In fact, I asked if there were ANSI or OSHA specs (yes), and if ankle protection were also required. The boss pulled up the leg of his jeans, revealing dressy, but obviously steel-toed low-tops. He said, “The company prefers ankle protection, but it’s not required,” adding that I would be more likely to encounter uneven surfaces more than someone like him.
    .

  321. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:41

    I’m thinking wet surfaces, traction, and wrong-footing yourself…

  322. Major Kong said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:47

    steel-toed workbooks

    steel toad workboots would be cooler.

  323. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:50

    steel toad workboots would be cooler.

    Apparently, in railroad work, there’s something called a frog. I recall an old railroader speaking to another, asking, “You ever try tightening the nuts on a brass frog?” They’d just laugh, uproariously, like they hadn’t told that to one another every day for 30 years.
    .

  324. Major Kong said,

    April 6, 2012 at 2:52

    In railroad work there’s also something called a “spud bar” – which is a tool for straightening tracks and not a drinking establishment for potatoes.

  325. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 3:42

    Apparently, in railroad work, there’s something called a frog.

    At a switch, it’s the piece where two rails cross.

  326. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 3:57

    Sippy Cupp strikes again: http://www.digbysblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/republican-brain-on-display.html

  327. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 6, 2012 at 4:28

    Red wings bro, Red wings.

  328. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 4:30

    Add to his title:

    Chub Scout

    Or Chub Scoot until he starts to walk.

  329. Smut Clyde said,

    April 6, 2012 at 4:42

    steel toad workboots would be cooler.

    For it is indeed an Iron Toad, faithfully rendered, thousand-warted and some say faintly smiling, a foot long at its longest, lurking at the bottom of a rank shit-stained toilet and hooked up to the European Grid through a rheostat control rigged to deliver varying though not lethal surges of voltage and current.

  330. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 4:58

    At a switch, it’s the piece where two rails cross.

    Are any made of brass, or is that an integral part of the joke?
    .

  331. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 4:59

    Amphibian Robin Hood: Steal toad workboots from the rich, give toad workboots to the poor.

  332. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:01

    Tagfail. But not my fault. Sadlyville is suffering from a mysterious Minnesotan virus.

  333. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:01

    Are any made of brass, or is that an integral part of the joke?

    Not that I know of, on anything larger than HO scale. But if you over-tighten brass fittings, you can grind into the body of the metal far easier than you can on steel, so I guess someone made a funny.

  334. Another Kiwi said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:07

    Perhaps part of the joke is that THERE ARE NO BRASS FROGS!! Because that’s funny.

  335. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:10

    I, personally, haz a sad at the thought of a world without brass frogs. Ever since last year’s cold winter interfered with brass-monkey sperm production, I have felt that we must protect our brass wildlife.

  336. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:12

    Perhaps part of the joke is that THERE ARE NO BRASS FROGS!! Because that’s funny.

    I gathered from the context that it was not unlike the classic carpenter’s joke about a “board stretcher.”
    .

  337. Another Kiwi said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:19

    Ever since last year’s cold winter interfered with brass-monkey sperm production
    We can only stand in awe of N_B_’s dedication to brass wildlife as he goes around wanking monkeys so that he can count their sperm.
    He deserves a goddam medal or vinyl gloves, at least.

  338. Golem Heart said,

    April 6, 2012 at 5:27

    Good luck finding nuts on a frog, for that matter.

  339. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 6:15

    Tagfail. But not my fault. Sadlyville is suffering from a mysterious Minnesotan virus.

    oh, rilly? well, minnesota is a catchy kinda place…

    jp…i am crossing my fingers soooo hard!!! you must let us know asap when you find out that you got the job…

  340. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 6:43

    jp…i am crossing my fingers soooo hard!!! you must let us know asap when you find out that you got the job…

    Absolutely. I may even start a Twitterblog. :)
    .

  341. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 6:50

    Absolutely. I may even start a Twitterblog. :)

    can you twitterblog while you scooter?

  342. Whale Chowder said,

    April 6, 2012 at 7:15

    can you twitterblog while you scooter?

    I was nearly run over on my (pedal) bike by a jackass on a scooter texting while he sort-of drove.

    What I’m saying is, that’s not even funny.

    Oddly enough, he wasn’t apologetic when I caught up to him at the next light and called him an asshole.

  343. Ludd said,

    April 6, 2012 at 9:15

    “Can you twitterblog while you scooter?

    I was nearly run over on my (pedal) bike by a jackass on a scooter texting while he sort-of drove.

    What I’m saying is, that’s not even funny.

    Oddly enough, he wasn’t apologetic when I caught up to him at the next light and called him an asshole.”

    See, there’s too many devices (and worse) in this story, and one or two of the people might as well be robots.

  344. not a gator said,

    April 6, 2012 at 10:39

    Glad someone caught this. Rome and Havana might have been blood enemies once, but they’ve gotten very cozy over the last couple decades. Which hasn’t necessarily been a good thing for the Cuban people.

    Grifters gotta grift.

  345. not a gator said,

    April 6, 2012 at 11:50

    Sippy Cupp strikes again: http://www.digbysblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/republican-brain-on-display.html

    Not to defend Ms. Cupp here, but Chris Mooney is a complete farking idiot who has been called out repeatedly on atheist blogs such as Pharyngula for making intellectually fatuous arguments in the “accommodationist” vein (term used by activist atheists, so it’s pejorative, not neutral, but I don’t know what the neutral term is). Mooney, in fact, was trying to sell books and basically make a living by being a good emperor’s clothes praiser, and Cupp, while no breakout winger griftomatic superstar, is somewhat infamous for pandering to a tribalist Christian audience herself. Thus, Cupp and Mooney have been direct competitors in the atheist-who-sucks-moldy-Christian-ass game, so the ill will and ill-disguised aggression is probably completely genuine.

    As Cupp is also a Northern Republican trying to eke out a living on Wingnut Welfare while Mooney has decided, after being laughed out of the Serious Thoughts-of-sphere (apparently, you have to be born into the club that gets to publish “C” sophomore philosophy papers in the Atlantic… upstarts not wanted), to catch the Democratic wave and write a book about how Republicans are stupid. Really, it’s no more cogent or deep than what I’ve come to expect from Mooney, and seems so tone-deaf that I pity him when he decides in a few years to lurch into another line of grift, with that millstone of a title following him. Will he try to reinvent himself as some sort of Eckhart Tolle?

  346. not a gator said,

    April 6, 2012 at 11:51

    Red wings bro, Red wings.

    Bro is correct in that they have ceased to manufacture actual work shoes/boots in women’s sizes. All of their women’s styles are for office ladies.

    THANKS FOR NOTHING, “BROS”.

  347. not a gator said,

    April 6, 2012 at 11:54

    Whale, I think you offended him by using such a thoughtless insult. Put a little more care into it next time.

  348. Major Kong said,

    April 6, 2012 at 13:43

    I was nearly run over on my (pedal) bike by a jackass on a scooter texting while he sort-of drove.

    Anyone caught texting while driving should be immediately dragged from their vehicle, beaten senseless and left on the side of the road as an example to others.

  349. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 13:57

    Not a Gator –

    Yeah, Mooney stinks. Cupp just annoys me more.

    Also, if you ignore the pink crap, some useful stuff: http://www.constructiongear.com/womens-workboots.html

  350. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 15:17

    nuts on a frog

    Band Name! I’m thinking of a style that’s a cross between Dave Matthews and Hootie (pre-country).

  351. Major Kong said,

    April 6, 2012 at 15:46

    Iron Toad would be a pretty good name for a heavy metal band.

  352. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 15:56

    Iron Toad would be a pretty good name for a heavy metal band.

    needs moar umlauts.

    Irön Tøäd

    moar umlauts is moar metal.

  353. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 16:15

    Irön Tøäd

    Leave it to Marvel to pave that road: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSM7hRSPET_WJqL-b4y-Jy_qlGBSNrJpkAVgx9US2i9xl13x5N5

  354. Toad said,

    April 6, 2012 at 16:18

    I run Toad Hall.

  355. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 16:41

    Anyone caught texting while driving should be immediately dragged from their vehicle, beaten senseless and left on the side of the road as an example to others.

    word…

    hey, did you catch the story about the 80 year old lady who was flying with her husband who had a heart attack and she had to land the plane? she is one kick-ass granny!

  356. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:08

    hey, did you catch the story about the 80 year old lady who was flying with her husband who had a heart attack and she had to land the plane? she is one kick-ass granny!

    I raise you a “surfer dude punches shark; lives.” That’s a story that gets you your own statue at your grave site.

  357. Pupienus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:12

    Im glad to see we’re over the pants puns. It was just a bit too Capri-cious for me.

  358. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:37

    No more pants puns. Pup pegged it exactly right.

  359. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:43

    No more pants puns. Pup pegged it exactly right.

    Well, too many people around here were hemming and hawing over the whole thing.

  360. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:44

    Overall, the pants were funny to read.

  361. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:47

    There IS TOO a Rosetta Stone for pants! So just ignore that I forgot the word ‘puns’.

  362. El Manquécito said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:49

    Enough already afore I have to cuff y’all up side of the head.

  363. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:49

    I’ll bet Pup reads pants very well.

  364. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:52

    Enough already afore I have to cuff y’all up side of the head.

    Zactly! This whole idea is broken.

  365. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:53

    The pants puns must be suspendered forthwith!

  366. Thread Bear said,

    April 6, 2012 at 17:57

    I pleated with them to stop the puns. Ask bbkf, chinos, she was there. And still there seams to be no end in sight. Some are well thought out, some are off the cuff. It’s a shopworn S,N! pattern. Is it worth the effort? At this point I’d say it’s a wash.

  367. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:02

    TB,

    It certainly has cotton out of hand and corduroy Fenwick’s last post, really needs to be cut. If anyone’s pocketing any more such puns, please let ‘em out or just zip it.

  368. El Manquécito said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:15

    Twill not go well if this keeps up, don’t chino.

  369. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:40

    I’ll bet Pup reads pants very well.

    Just to be crotchety, I’ll say something about reading a book by its cover.

  370. Thread Bear said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:41

    This pocket of pun-ditry is tearing at the very fabric of my soul. I’m off to have a belt.

  371. jim, sponsored by Summer's Eve™ said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:51

    nuts on a frog

    I’ll just leave this here.

  372. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:58

    You people are really slacking at these puns, I’d expect more from you chaps. Overall I’m quite disappointed.

  373. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 18:58

    good surahs! not that i’m biased or anything, but let’s everybody stop waling about the puns! they are starting to get a bit chintzy and it seems as though blood pressures are poplin…let’s just zip our lips and get back to the topic at hand…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    which is what? and some of us must toile away at work…and no, i’m not trying to needle anybody…

  374. Whale Chowder said,

    April 6, 2012 at 19:38

    I didn’t expect the pants puns to loop around again. Somebody’s looking to get belted.

  375. Whale Chowder said,

    April 6, 2012 at 19:39

    Awww, not really. I’m just pulling your leg.

    In Pup’s case, it isn’t a straight leg.

  376. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 19:49

    srsly…i do not know why the hospital spent hundreds of dollars on signage for my building when nobody fucking reads them…if i get one more person in here today looking for the hearing aid lady, i am going to junk punch them…plus the people with her now? it apparently takes three grown kids to take grandma and her wheelchair to get her hearing checked…and the one daughter who is wearing heavy corduroy pants that keep making that noise everytime she walks by is really asking for it…because she keeps walking by and popping in my office…i now had to direct her to the restroom that is big enough for grandma’s wheelchair…/rant over…

  377. N__B said,

    April 6, 2012 at 19:51

    if i get one more person in here today looking for the hearing aid lady

    Hold up an iPod and a stapler and ask what you can do to help.

  378. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 19:56

    ooooh, now corduroy/sweater daughter is quite irate and is going to ‘write another letter!’ because our smaller bathroom has hand rails by the can, but the bigger one doesn’t…she is getting quite vocal about the americans with disabilities act…and while i agree with her, this building isn’t really meant for public peeing…it’s mostly just us office people and dialysis…who have their own toilets…

  379. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 19:57

    We can’t skirt around the wimmins. Isn’t it time for some belle bottoms?

  380. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:02

    We can’t skirt around the wimmins. Isn’t it time for some belle bottoms?

    that’s not some sort of hijab at women is it?

  381. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:02

    this building isn’t really meant for public peeing

    Sounds like the issue is coming to a head.

  382. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:04

    PENIS

  383. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:05

    Present for you know who.

  384. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:06

    that’s not some sort of hijab at women is it?

    I’m sari for bringing it up.

  385. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:08

    Hawt dog, Pup !

    I’ll be in my bunk.

  386. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:09

    well, this is a shame:

    c. 1920 Rural population of the U.S. becomes the minority, causing skinny dipping to decline as more people migrate to the cities

  387. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:10

    PENIS

    okay…that one is just plain creepy…and rilly? the detailing?!?!

  388. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:13

    Present for you know who.

    Who?

  389. Fenwick said,

    April 6, 2012 at 20:17

    Present for you know who.

    Who?

    The Doctor?

  390. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:04

    Fried egg sammich with ham and cheddar on rye. And a Full Sail amber.

  391. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:21

    Fried egg sammich with ham and cheddar on rye. And a Full Sail amber.

    double fudge frozen hot chocolate from dq…

  392. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:32

    The Force is…you know, it’s too easy: http://now.msn.com/now/0405-star-wars-condoms.aspx

  393. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:35

    Fried egg sammich with ham and cheddar on rye. And a Full Sail amber.

    That sounds way better than what I’m having: a cup of Tillamook “French Vanilla” lowfat yogurt. With no beer!

    The place across the street has North Coast brewing’s Old Rasputin imperial stout on their nitro tap right now. I’ll have that later. Yu-uh-m!

  394. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:38

    The Force is…you know, it’s too easy: http://now.msn.com/now/0405-star-wars-condoms.aspx

    I hope they put the characters on the condoms themselves and not just the wrapper. A green Yoda condom would be hilarious.

  395. Whale Chowder said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:38

    The Force is…you know, it’s too easy

    If you have to use Force, U R DOIN IT RONG.

  396. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:40

    this is quite disturbing…

  397. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:44

    this is quite disturbing…

    I dunno, I can think of a few babies in their mid-30s or 40s I’d like to abort.

  398. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:53

    I dunno, I can think of a few babies in their mid-30s or 40s I’d like to abort.

    while this is true, as a mom, especially with a child with disabilities, it really creeped me out…also it pisses me off because now the forced-birthers will be all up in our grills…

  399. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:56

    I dunno, I can think of a few babies in their mid-30s or 40s I’d like to abort.

    I’ve long been a proponent of retroactive abortion.

  400. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:56

    anybody watching the twins @ orioles? i just heard some dude wearing speedos, a hat and a cape ran out on the field…

  401. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 21:58

    Also too, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pre-persons

  402. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:00

    The place across the street has North Coast brewing’s Old Rasputin imperial stout on their nitro tap right now

    Oooooh, that sounds good. I may have to swing over that way and try one.

  403. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:03

    which is specified as the moment a person has the ability to do simple algebra

    oh,feck…i am soulless!!!

  404. pws said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:06

    I thought that mugging homeless people was the main activity of the Federalist Society?

  405. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:06

    I’ve been looking for some of that Old Rasputin but I don’t see it at any of the markets I go to regularly (Fred Meyer, Winco, New Seasons, occasionally Zupan’s). I want to braise some beef ribs in that shit. And drink some too. And such as.

  406. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:15

    Oooooh, that sounds good. I may have to swing over that way and try one.

    It is good. I had one last night. It’s way too easy to drink on nitro — it’s 9%abv — but damn is it yummers.

    I’ve been looking for some of that Old Rasputin but I don’t see it at any of the markets I go to regularly (Fred Meyer, Winco, New Seasons, occasionally Zupan’s). I want to braise some beef ribs in that shit. And drink some too. And such as.

    I’m fairly certain they have it at that big Freddies up on Hawthorne. I was there a couple months back and I remember buying at least one North Coast beer there (La Merle saison — also really, really good)…

    Otherwise try Belmont Station.

  407. Major Kong said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:25

    hey, did you catch the story about the 80 year old lady who was flying with her husband who had a heart attack and she had to land the plane?

    I don’t see the big deal. She had the rest of her life to figure out how to land it.

  408. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:37

    Speaking of disturbing…

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/04/why-do-all-these-mud-people-keep-calling-me-racist/

  409. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:41

    I don’t see the big deal. She had the rest of her life to figure out how to land it.

    ha, ha…u r funnay…

  410. Pryme said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:47

    Speaking of disturbing…

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/04/why-do-all-these-mud-people-keep-calling-me-racist/

    And TP covered it as well (http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/04/06/459961/derbyshire-avoid-concentrations-of-blacks/). Why do I feel like Sadly got scooped?

  411. El Manquécito said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:49

    You can always count on Disturbyshire.

  412. El Manquécito said,

    April 6, 2012 at 22:54

    Why do I feel like Sadly got scooped?

    Roy’s place is on this too.

  413. tigris said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:09

    Jesus Christ, William Saletan is a dishonest asshole.

    here comes the academic left with an even crazier idea: after-birth abortion.

    Academic left my ass. It’s a think piece by two philosophers in Australia, for Christ’s sake, this is not some US leftist policy piece.

    The case for “after-birth abortion” draws a logical path from common pro-choice assumptions to infanticide.

    Well, it tries to, anyway, because that’s how arguments work you fucking moron. So instead of finding flaws in the argument, he accepts their premises as those of all pro-choicers and therefore OH NOES SLOPE SO SLIPPERY must euthanize!

    1. The moral significance of fetal development is arbitrary.

    I doubt if many pro-choice folks think this, otherwise people wouldn’t talk about “viability” and there would be no legal hurdles after the first trimester; they do and there are as most people think there should be. The authors say neonates lack personhood because they “might start having expectations and develop a minimum level of self-awareness at a very early stage, but not in the first days or few weeks after birth” … rather than pule about slippery slopes why doesn’t Saletan demand proof for this assertion, or point out that even very young babies cry when hungry or threatened, which would seem to indicate self-awareness to an extent that includes a desire for self-continuance? Because he’s a dishonest asshole who doesn’t give a shit about evidence or morality or ethics or anything other than abortion makes him feel ooky. Fuck him.

  414. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:10

    just wow:

    If planning a trip to a beach or amusement park at some date, find out whether it is likely to be swamped with blacks on that date (neglect of that one got me the closest I have ever gotten to death by gunshot).

    no, derpy, i’m quite sure this isn’t the closest you’ve ever gotten to death by gunshot…

  415. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:12

    tigris said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:09

    thank you!!! i knew greater minds could help me formulate my thoughts on this…

  416. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:27

    Bobo gets the vapors again because Obama criticized the Very Serious Ryan Budget.

    Brooks or Ryan: Whose face is more punchable? Discuss.

  417. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:32

    Brooks or Ryan: Whose face is more punchable? Discuss.

    why do we have to choose?

  418. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:37

    Obama’s charge is even more groundless.

    The Ryan plan would slowly phase in a premium support option, in which the government would give people money to buy insurance.

    but, it will end medicare as we know it…i mean, any change to it is going to end medicare as we know it simply because it was changed…

  419. bbkf said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:43

    Bobo gets the vapors again because Obama criticized the Very Serious Ryan Budget.

    and omg…you should have heard soucheray earlier this week on this topic…just mocked the hell out of obama and kept saying all through his show, ‘you better tune in to the 10 o’clock news tonight! this could be the last weather forecast you ever hear!’ when this is not even remotely what obama said…he had a bunch of other stuff like that, but that was tuesday and how can i remember back that far?

    and then yesterday, i was treated to his fellation of shelby steele

    so really, the question is: who has the more punchable face? bobo, ryan or soucheray?

  420. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 6, 2012 at 23:47

    Is this Soucheray a local radio winger, perchance? Can’t place the name.
    .

  421. Fenwick said,

    April 7, 2012 at 0:17

    anybody watching the twins @ orioles? i just heard some dude wearing speedos, a hat and a cape ran out on the field…

    Supraman.

    Btw, this year the Woes have decided to reinstate the idiotic Cartoon Oriole, abandoning the ornithologically correct bird they have word since Camden Yards opened. Appropriate, somehow: I have a feeling Baltimore is going to field a cartoonish team in 2012.

    It’s gonna be a l-o-n-g season….

  422. Fenwick said,

    April 7, 2012 at 0:24

    worn

  423. El Manquécito said,

    April 7, 2012 at 0:32

    some dude wearing speedos

    Is two speedos the lieberal version of two wetsuits? AFAF

  424. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 0:38

    Is this Soucheray a local radio winger, perchance? Can’t place the name.

    indeed he is…he’s out of mpls/st. paul…he used to be kind of funny, but alas, wingnutia is overtaking him and he’s losing his humor…

  425. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 7, 2012 at 0:54

    Why Do All These Mud People Keep Calling Me Racist?

    Related?

  426. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 7, 2012 at 1:09

    No one deserves cancer, but Derbyshire comes really close.

  427. Another Kiwi said,

    April 7, 2012 at 1:30

    I’m figuring Derbentshire doesn’t care that people know what a hateful ignorant fuck he is, now

  428. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 7, 2012 at 1:52

    indeed he is…he’s out of mpls/st. paul…he used to be kind of funny, but alas, wingnutia is overtaking him and he’s losing his humor…

    Interesting. Have you heard of Dave Ramsey, prosperity gospel, get-rid-of-your-debts radio guy? He’s local, but I think he gets carried nationally.
    .

  429. Nym said,

    April 7, 2012 at 2:07

    Mona Charen: The Nobel Peace Prize became worthless when awarded to our uppity usurper (as opposed to a decent American like Henry Kissinger).

  430. jim, sponsored by Economoronomicon™ said,

    April 7, 2012 at 4:02

    Brooks or Ryan: Whose face is more punchable? Discuss.

    Gee, let’s see now.

    Puppyish earnestness or smirking blandness? Puppyish earnestness or smirking blandness? Puppyish earnestness or smirking blandness? Puppyish earnestness or smirking blandness? Puppyish earnestness or smirking blandness?

    ZOMG! I CAN’T DECIDE!!!

  431. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 7, 2012 at 4:37

    ZOMG! I CAN’T DECIDE!!!

    Why decide? Why even punch them when you could just grab the two of them by the backs of their heads, and slam their faces into each other?

    That would make for the best Easter EVER!!!

  432. Thread Bear said,

    April 7, 2012 at 4:37

    Brooks or Ryan: Whose face is more punchable? Discuss.

    I don’t think we can have a serious discussion on punchability untill we’ve all had an opportunity to punch each of them and make an assessment.

  433. N__B said,

    April 7, 2012 at 4:45

    I wanna punch early. Late punchers are just gonna get a fist full of mush.

  434. Pupienus said,

    April 7, 2012 at 4:47

    Brooks or Ryan: Whose face junk is more punchable? Discuss.

    Damn that overbooked Junkpuncho!

  435. Junkpuncho, The Junk-Punching Alpaca said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:08

    The early bird gets the hoof.

    Or something.

  436. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:09

    Hey, everybody, we have a meme on our hands!

  437. jim said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:26

    Shorter Shorter meme = tm; Si (too moronic; Shorter instead).

  438. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:31

    PtC (perilous to cognition)

  439. Major Kong said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:40

    Damn that overbooked Junkpuncho!

    I guess it’s time to start building the Junkpuncher 5000

  440. Another Kiwi said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:42

    Ha ha I knew it was from Zompocalypse Now.
    I did so!

  441. N__B said,

    April 7, 2012 at 5:45

    Zompocalypse Now.

    ZOMP! There it is.

  442. Smut Clyde said,

    April 7, 2012 at 7:32

    No one deserves cancer, but Derbyshire comes really close.
    No cancer deserves Derbyshire.

    Why decide? Why even punch them when you could just grab the two of them by the backs of their heads, and slam their faces into each other?

    Now I am thinking of the various schemes cooked up by the Mythbuster team to slam two trucks together in a 120-mph head-on collision.

  443. Fenwick said,

    April 7, 2012 at 7:43

    Hey, everybody, we have a meme on our hands!

    Well isn’t that a bag of tits ?!

  444. Nym said,

    April 7, 2012 at 8:19

    Huh, Thomas Kinkade died.

  445. paperbagmarlys said,

    April 7, 2012 at 8:23

    There’s nothing there I didn’t expect to see from Derbyshire but seeing it all in one place is useful. If I was putting together a reader of movement conservatism I’d consider including The Talk: Nonblack Version by Mr. John Derbyshire, Grand Wizard, NRO.

  446. Another Kiwi said,

    April 7, 2012 at 9:31

    Well the lid has come off at wingnut central. First Dementedshire, now Erick Erickson hops off the twig
    I don’t care that The Masters are a male-dominated event. I don’t care that women aren’t members of The Masters. Frankly, I kind of like the idea that women aren’t members of The Masters. Good Lord, I don’t want to be hanging out at some women’s event!

  447. Another Kiwi said,

    April 7, 2012 at 11:24

    David Weigel says that Dementedshire is basically right, but Weigel has not followed most of Derb’s advice.
    Derbyshire is saying something that many people believe but few people with word-slinging abilities know how to say: There are differences between the races, and whites should watch out for blacks. … Derbyshire isn’t stupid and he isn’t being caught out. If someone wants to publish this, someone should
    All that said, I don’t think I’ve taken much of this column’s advice.

    As the young folks say: WTF

  448. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 7, 2012 at 17:24

    I think Weigel – who let us remember is an honest-to-god right winger – is using the “many people believe” bit as meaning that it’s something that should be talked about if indeed people believe it, and there should be a place for it somewhere.

    It’s an American thing.

  449. bughunter, delurking momentarily, said,

    April 7, 2012 at 18:17

    Well isn’t that a bag of tits ?!

    Related

  450. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 7, 2012 at 18:19

    Just think, the wingnuts are getting this crazy and it’s only April. By October I expect foaming-at-the-mouth incoherent rage particularly if the economy keeps improving.

    Colbert and Stewart will have it easy.

  451. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 7, 2012 at 18:24

    Weigel followed up for those who didn’t get it.

  452. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 7, 2012 at 18:24

    particularly if the economy keeps improving

    Optimism!

  453. Too Soon said,

    April 7, 2012 at 18:27

    Do you think somebody remembered to practice his signature?

  454. jim said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:06

    I got some of your wrath RIGHT HERE.

  455. boconn13 said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:11

    I’m thinking Battle Royal a la Ralph Ellison. Bobo and Paul Ryan, ‘k. I’m thinking Lil Tommy Friedman, Hannity, that Donahue fucker from the catholic league, Stevie Doozy…Ummm…looks like we’re gonna need a bigger ring. Course, I (or ‘we’) will probably have to get in the ring at the beginning to start em off, but once they get going, should be fun. The last two left can redo the handkerchief knife fight a la Harlan Ellison.

  456. J.T.K said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:11

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTSSSSS!!

  457. Major Kong said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:12

    Six douchbags enter! One douchbag leaves!

  458. N__B said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:21

    Six douchbags enter! One douchbag leaves!

    I would not want to be the person to clean out THAT sewer trap.

  459. Major Kong said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:30

    Course, I (or ‘we’) will probably have to get in the ring at the beginning to start em off, but once they get going, should be fun.

    Just drop a check from Cato or the Heritage Foundation into the ring and they’ll tear each other to pieces trying to get it.

  460. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    April 7, 2012 at 19:59

    Another Kiwi said,
    April 7, 2012 at 9:31

    Well the lid has come off at wingnut central. First Dementedshire, now Erick Erickson hops off the twig

    I don’t care that The Masters are a male-dominated event. I don’t care that women aren’t members of The Masters. Frankly, I kind of like the idea that women aren’t members of The Masters. Good Lord, I don’t want to be hanging out at some women’s event!

    Yrch Ap Yrch is a sexist fuckwad? My smelling salts! Hurry!

    Seriously, though—imagine my surprise to learn that IBM is still in business. What the hell line of work are they in nowadays? Or are they just an American Post Office Box for Lenovo?

  461. N__B said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:02

    . What the hell line of work are they in nowadays?

    They sell punch-card tabulators to the Census Bureau.

  462. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:16

    Interesting. Have you heard of Dave Ramsey, prosperity gospel, get-rid-of-your-debts radio guy? He’s local, but I think he gets carried nationally.

    my board president WORSHIPS this guy…he has made just about every hospital staff person watch the series…

  463. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:20

    my board president WORSHIPS this guy…he has made just about every hospital staff person watch the series…

    Heh. I hear he loves to cut off callers who ask him about his bankruptcies. :lol:
    .

  464. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:21

    Well isn’t that a bag of tits ?!

    Related

    first off, fenwick i’m very proud of you for remembering that saying and using it appropriately…and how kick ass is it that there actually IS a bag of tits?!?!?

  465. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:24

    Do you think somebody remembered to practice his signature?

    i am srsly anxiously awaiting the first image of kinkade’s casket with that fricking light shining out of it…

  466. N__B said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:25

    casket with that fricking light shining out of it…

    You’ve got to close the door until it clicks.

  467. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:25

    Heh. I hear he loves to cut off callers who ask him about his bankruptcies. :lol:

    hmmmmm…i will have to ask doc about this on monday…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    right now imma sleep off the mimosa hangover that is coming on…bridal shower this morning…awesome…

  468. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:27

    You’ve got to close the door until it clicks.

    ha, ha…i hope a snobbish beer drinker in oregon might make this image happen…

  469. Pupienus said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:33

    Seriously, though—imagine my surprise to learn that IBM is still in business. What the hell line of work are they in nowadays? Or are they just an American Post Office Box for Lenovo?

    IBM sold off their PC business to Lenovo way back when. And they’re doing quite well actually. While they still move a lot of hardware – servers and the big iron too, mostly they’re into consulting and crap. Most of their revenues now come from services. IBM stock has, IIRC, done very well over the last ten or fifteen years since dumping the PC bidnez.

  470. Pupienus said,

    April 7, 2012 at 20:35

    Yep. Take a look at the max range in google finance. Very well indeed.

  471. Fenwick said,

    April 7, 2012 at 21:02

    bbfk: Yer welcome ! Part of the whole meme thing is about memory…and your phrase sure stuck in mine.

    And is indeed kick-ass that there really IS a bag of tits !

  472. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    April 7, 2012 at 21:36

    I guess you guys are right—IBM is still around. I recently discovered that Sears—No shit, fucking Sears, fucking Roebuck—is still squatting in a tiny corner of the big old Sears store at 1st and Lander. Apparently some of these dinosaurs take a while to die, huh?

  473. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    April 7, 2012 at 21:41

    And is indeed kick-ass that there really IS a bag of tits !

    I’m not clicking on that for anybody’s money. All I can picture is the grocery store I do most of our shopping at, where they always have great deals on things like hamburger or pork chops or country-style ribs or whatever if you buy over 10 pounds, so they have 10 or 11 or 12 pounds in a big plastic sack in the meat case. I don’t think even Leland Stottlemeyer Buffalo Bill would click on that link.

  474. Another Kiwi said,

    April 7, 2012 at 21:42

    IBM never recovered from the HAL 9000 debacle.

  475. tigris said,

    April 7, 2012 at 21:44

    I’m not clicking on that for anybody’s money.

    It’s safe.

  476. El Manquécito said,

    April 7, 2012 at 22:24

    We’ve got tufted tits here and I always wanted to see a bridled tit but haven’t yet made it to the Arizona mountains where they live. I like to eat small birds as much as anyone but why you’d ever want a bag of tits is beyond me.

  477. bbkf said,

    April 7, 2012 at 22:29

    I always wanted to see a bridled tit but haven’t yet made it to the Arizona mountains where they live.

    generally, most tits are bridled everywhere across this great land…at least during the daytime…at night, they should be unbridled so they can breathe…

  478. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:01

    Set your tits free!

  479. Another Kiwi said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:02

    What possessed the first person who saw a little bird hopping about so that they said “I’ll call that a Tit, thus dooming schoolboys to helpless laughter throughout history”?

  480. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:25

    Better yet, the Great Tit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_tit

  481. John M. Burt said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:31

    I used to really enjoy making tasteless jokes about Jesus being crucified, and then one day I asked myself which side of that court case I really wanted to endorse.

  482. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:33

    Holding out hope, but it’s a real nailbiter at this point
    .

  483. N__B said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:45

    What possessed the first person to look at a woman’s breast and say “that looks like the little bird I saw this morning”?

  484. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 7, 2012 at 23:58

    What possessed the first person who saw a little bird hopping about so that they said “I’ll call that a Tit, thus dooming schoolboys to helpless laughter throughout history”?

    Probably the same impulse that possessed Oscar Wilde to write fairy tales.

  485. bughunter, delurking momentarily, said,

    April 8, 2012 at 1:43

    Or similar to the impulse that inspired some Colonial Era Spanish naturalist to say “Dios mio, that funny bird reminds me of una senorita con guanabanas tiene patas frios.”

  486. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 8, 2012 at 1:54

    Derbyshire got too outrageous for the National Socialist Review! Never thought I’d see the day.

  487. Pupienus said,

    April 8, 2012 at 2:44

    HAHAHAHAHA The freepers are outraged. They’ll NEVER read NR again! HAHAHAHA

  488. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 8, 2012 at 2:59

    HAHAHAHAHA The freepers are outraged. They’ll NEVER read NR again! HAHAHAHA

    Link? Everywhere I look, no comments!
    .

  489. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    April 8, 2012 at 3:00

    Eeew…..

    I have a habit of going through the bibliographies of books I read and adding anything that looks interesting to a list of books to read later. Of course, the list will grow and grow until I die, but imagine my shock to find this.

    Now, I’ve admitted to reading several books by Victorius Davidus Hansonius—but that was a long, long time ago. Needless to say, I’ll be pruning my list.

  490. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 8, 2012 at 3:27

    Gee, why do you suppose America’s Shittiest Website isn’t allowing comments or the “we fired Derby” paragraphs?

    Could it possibly be because they’d be like this?

  491. Another Kiwi said,

    April 8, 2012 at 3:37

    NR is dead to me.

    Nothing in that article was one bit racist.

    24 posted on Sunday, 8 April 2012 11:58:57 a.m. by GeronL

    Mwahahahahahahah.
    I am amazed that these people can type at all.

  492. Fenwick said,

    April 8, 2012 at 3:53

    bughunter: Thanx for the bag of tits ! Hope you de-lurk often.

  493. Major Kong said,

    April 8, 2012 at 4:20

    My schaden is all freude.

  494. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    April 8, 2012 at 4:40

    I am amazed that these people can type at all.

    If I were sent credentials, I’d post what I said at Boon Jews, with the following added:

    “So, be afraid, huh? Even though you have your concealed carry permit, and you’re packin’, you’re afraid some low-IQ mud person is gonna get the drop on you at the first opportunity? What fuckin’ pathetic losers.”
    .

  495. Major Kong said,

    April 8, 2012 at 4:56

    I’m doing my six-month recurrent training this weekend.

    Today I had four hours in the simulator, or as I call it the “box of pain”. Basically four hours of the instructor throwing malfunctions at us to see if we can handle them.

    The simulator visuals are so good these days that when we hit the flock of birds on takeoff I actually ducked.

    I’ve got another simulator session tomorrow and then I’m done.

  496. N__B said,

    April 8, 2012 at 5:20

    What about the birds? Won’t anybody think about the virtual birds?

  497. El Manquécito said,

    April 8, 2012 at 5:25

    Or similar to the impulse that inspired some Colonial Era Spanish naturalist to say “Dios mio, that funny bird reminds me of una senorita con guanabanas tiene patas frios.”

    Esos pajaros tontos son llamadas “piqueros” en español a causa de su método de pescar. “Boobies” is what Inglés speaking sailors called them because of their behavior on the ground (trusting and unafraid, never a good way to deal with British sailors).

    I’ve visited a booby rookery and I’ll tell you what, the odour was impressive.

  498. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 8, 2012 at 5:30

    Poor little freeper:

    National Review needs to go away and Breitbart needs his own mag.

    Someone make it happen because screw all that Romney-pimping and Cain/Newt bombing.

    10 posted on Saturday, April 07, 2012 7:38:36 PM by struggle (http://killthegovernment.wordpress.com/)
    [ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

    Love the guy’s blog name. Anybody want to tell him that Breitbart won’t be resurrected, even if it is Easter?

  499. Helmut Monotreme said,

    April 8, 2012 at 5:37

    I wonder if VDH brings the same depth of insight to the classics that he brings to current events (i.e. none at all). I would love to find a real historian to pose that question to.

  500. Golem Heart said,

    April 8, 2012 at 6:00

    Re: Derbyshire:

    “These differences show in every test of general cognitive ability that anyone, of any race or nationality, has yet been able to devise. They are reflected in countless everyday situations. ‘Life is an IQ test.’”

    I know very little about such tests, but let me hazard a guess that very few such tests have been devised by blacks, or black Americans, and that if such a one has been devised, it has not been widely administered. Further, if blacks devised one, it might well be as flawed or worse than the others, and if it were good, it might be less likely to gain acceptance, on account of giving crazy results (i.e. blacks are smarter, which’d provoke inquiries or dismissal more quickly than a test showing whites as smarter, or asians).

    But Derb doesn’t give a shit about IQ tests, which would be fine with me, except for his giveaways: the “countless everyday situations” in which he judges blacks’ intelligence to be inferior. The obvious evidence of social status and geopolitics, proving that whites and Western Civilization are better. All that stuff I can bet Derb believes without having read how he phrases it.

  501. Major Kong said,

    April 8, 2012 at 6:33

    trusting and unafraid, never a good way to deal with British sailors

    Rum, buggery and the lash etc. etc.

  502. Golem Heart said,

    April 8, 2012 at 6:48

    I seem to recall Googling the bird-name “Tit” once, and sadly, it’s just some furrin talk, if I recall, not titty-talk at all, at least not intentionally.

    But consider, if things had worked out differently, we could have ended up with Great Dicks, Blue Cocks, Dickmice, Sombre Dicks, Black-Bibbed Dicks, Rufous-Vented Cocks, Elegant Dicks, and even Varied Dicks.

    (Thanks, Wikipedia.)

  503. John Derbyshire as Napoleon XIV said,

    April 8, 2012 at 6:58

    Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I’d go berserk?? Well…
    You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I’ve gone completely out of my mind.. And..

    They came and they took me away, ha-haaa!!
    They came and they took me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
    To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I’s
    happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats when they came and they took me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

    You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
    I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and
    laughed and then you left, but now you know I’m utterly mad… And..

    They came and they took me away, ha-haaa,
    They came and they took me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
    To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
    weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they came and they took me away, ha-haaa!!!

    &tc.

  504. not a gator said,

    April 8, 2012 at 6:58

    Derbyshire got shit-canned, nya nya nya nya nya nyaaa!

    Just watched ep. 1 of SCANDAL, so full of WIN please let it make at least one full season because I need some escapism thank you please jesus also too.

  505. Golem Heart said,

    April 8, 2012 at 7:13

    “We [NRO] never would have published it, but the main reason that people noticed it is that it is by a National Review writer.”

    True and true, but NRO would have published something like it, if it were properly done. That’s what NRO and its ilk are for, at least in part.

    For NRO, Derbyshire would’ve had to get clever, and excise this and that.

  506. bughunter, between naps, said,

    April 8, 2012 at 7:33

    Fenwick, my pleasure. I’ll try.

  507. tigris said,

    April 8, 2012 at 16:10

    But Derb doesn’t give a shit about IQ tests, which would be fine with me, except for his giveaways: the “countless everyday situations” in which he judges blacks’ intelligence to be inferior.

    Yes, and the freeper commenters are the same. One guy talks about having 3 dumb black secretaries, I suppose he can’t imagine how someone who expects blacks to be dumb would only hire dumb ones(though frankly I doubt his secretaries were as dumb or lazy as he claims, half-assing it is the typical response to having an asshole boss, plus why bust your hump for a guy who will NEVER EVER give you credit for being anything but the dumb lazy stereotype he assigned you before he even met you, evidence be damned?).

    Also love how all the commenters believe this is how everyone white actually feels, only the rest of us are too cowardly to admit it. Yep, it’s not those guys who are so cowardly they wet themselves at the thought of a black face, it’s the folks who can’t admit their dry undies and lack of fear are a lie!

    Also awesome: the guy who thinks Derbs is a prison psychologist therefore knows what he’s talking about, he sees it every day! Dude is a writer and former computer programmer, I bet he knows less about it than just about anybody you could pick randomly off the street, but you a)accepted his opinion without question because it conformed with what you already believed b) INVENTED a backstory to give him credibility he doesn’t have and dollars to doughnuts c) won’t change your opinion that he knows what he’s talking about one iota when you find out your backstory is bullshit.

  508. tigris said,

    April 8, 2012 at 16:12

    Love the guy’s blog name. Anybody want to tell him that Breitbart won’t be resurrected, even if it is Easter?

    Zombie Breitbart: still wanting for brains.

  509. N__B said,

    April 8, 2012 at 17:25

    Wait…you means Breitbart wasn’t a zombie before?

  510. wiley is shocked--- SHOCKED, I tell you said,

    April 8, 2012 at 18:38

    CAT BOXING?! First— skeet shooting bunny rabbits, now THIS! Poor kitties forced to do violence upon one another for a gambler’s fix. These exploited feline youths aren’t even given gloves. How many rounds do you think a little kitty can go before he’s punch drunk and brain damaged? There have been studies done about brain damage in kitties, ya know, and a lot of little thumps can do as much damage as one big blow.

    I don’t know what they do to these kitties to make them act in a way so contrary to their nature, but I’m sure it’s mean. This is NOT cute! I thought I’d seen everything. What’s this world coming to?

    BBB has the right idea though— put two wingnuts in a ring and slam their heads together. I’ll bet the most loudmouthed chicken hawk goes down first every time.

  511. Major Kong said,

    April 8, 2012 at 18:53

    Cats are pound-for-pound pretty damn tough.

    My cat got into it with a good-sized Labrador Retriever once.

    By the time we got them apart – my leather jacket was torn, I was bleeding, the dog was bleeding, the dog’s owner was bleeding. Everybody was bleeding except the cat.

  512. Golem Heart said,

    April 8, 2012 at 19:00

    “Also love how all the commenters believe this is how everyone white actually feels, only the rest of us are too cowardly to admit it.”

    The charge of liberal hypocrisy is very important to them. But this is an area where folks like me are less cowardly. I have had racist thoughts, no doubt more than I realize. I have had other bad thoughts too: sexist thoughts, violent ones, adulterous ones beyond count. These bad thoughts, common as they are in the aggregate, are not ones that I choose to define my identity. Far from being brainwashed or browbeaten, I have the choice to embrace or reject these elements. Nobody’s perfect, so what are we to do? Hoard and burnish the worst products of our minds, or practice hygiene?

    Nor is it any great hardship or hypocrisy to hold my tongue at times: it is often wise to do so. It’s childish to blurt out nonsense like movement conservatives so often do. Childish to be defiantly proud of having done so. To desire only praise, or lack of censure, for such behavior is to desire a type of privilege we cast aside in choosing democracy, freedoms of thought and expression, etc.

    Derbyshire took a different path. His boldness in admitting racism overshadows true moral cowardice. Egged on by like-minded bigots, it is as if he rejected moral hygiene in favor of dirtiness. From time to time he’d show off, give us a whiff, and dare us to judge him. He’d point his filth-encrusted finger and say, you’re not so clean yourself, did you wash behind your ears?… Maybe Derbyshire will find the courage to look inside himself. I doubt it.

  513. Snorghagen said,

    April 8, 2012 at 19:20

    Huh, Thomas Kinkade died.

    I just now learned this. Well, that’s it then – Western Civilization is finished.

    One fan (?) commented on Twitter “May your afterlife be as beautiful as your art.” Imagine being immersed in thick, gooey treacle for all eternity.

  514. not a gator said,

    April 8, 2012 at 20:15

    Hear, hear Golem Heart. Life is full of ‘bad thoughts’ but we define ourselves in the world by how we, as you put it, perform mental hygiene.

  515. Coach John Derbyshire said,

    April 8, 2012 at 20:40

    Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter, these black bozos are just a bunch of commie clowns, if ya feels what Da Cool Derb is rip-rappin’ at ya! Check it before ya wreck it, ya dinguses: the negro nerds make it impossible for Da Cool Derb to enjoy a trip to the beach, and ya better believe that Da Cool Derb ain’t going into some dumbo black bozo neighborhood! Pee-eww, ya dig?

    Badoodle-boo-yeah! You commie clowns just got nailed with a SPREAD of TRUTH! Derb out.

  516. wiley said,

    April 8, 2012 at 20:55

    I WAS kidding, major. If you want to beat cats in a fight, enlist Blue Jays. They’ll work in teams and will get their pound of fur.

  517. Fenwick said,

    April 8, 2012 at 21:42

    Golem: That was a terrific comment !

  518. Fenwick said,

    April 8, 2012 at 21:47

    Applause for Da Cool Coach parodist; dead-on perfect. Only one thing was missing, so I’ll add it…

    Conservomentum 2012 !!

  519. Cerberus said,

    April 8, 2012 at 21:49

    Why no new post until nowz? I wuz sick.

    But I’z brought you new post now.

    But LOLCatitis still in I’z bloodstream.

  520. Fenwick said,

    April 8, 2012 at 21:54

    Major: Was the feline that made mincemeat of a Lab and two humans the SAME black-and-white kitteh that appropriated the carpet sample? (‘Pookie’ if remember a-right)

    Also: In light of the simulated flock of birds, do you have to set the plane down in a simulated Hudson River?

    Also: Happy Easter.

  521. Golem Heart said,

    April 8, 2012 at 22:21

    Thanks, Fenwick. I seem to have penned an Easter sermon by accident.

  522. Major Kong said,

    April 9, 2012 at 3:34

    Fenwick -

    Yes, that was the same cat. She’s still just as feisty.

    Today in the simulator we practiced hitting a flock of birds, losing both engines and ditching in Boston Harbor. It’s pretty challenging.

  523. Smut Clyde said,

    April 9, 2012 at 16:16

    What the hell line of work are they in nowadays?
    They sell punch-card tabulators to the Census Bureau
    Germans.
    FTFY.

    [Racial intelligence differences] are reflected in countless everyday situations. ‘Life is an IQ test.’
    Derbyshire has never lived in an African country and perhaps does not know what “everyday situations” he is talking about. Who could have guessed?

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