Mar
26

Let Them Eat Poorly Constructed Analogies




Posted at 23:09 by Cerberus

And somehow this photoshop is less insulting than what he’s actually doing.

Deroy Murdock, Professional Cockbags Online*:
Minimum Wage: $100 Per Hour?

Wingnuts have discovered snark.

And much like a colony of lemurs discovering an insterstellar spacecraft, find themselves unable to do anything with it other than sniff it suspiciously and occasionally urinate upon it.

But one brave lemur has decided to climb into the cockpit and take a turn at the controls. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • Because I can imagine large numbers and have no understanding of how analogies work, people have no need to eat or procure shelter. Also, minimum wages are fascism

No, lemur! You’re tunneling into the center of the Earth! No, not that button! That’s the Positronic Overload Button, if you use that now, the entire planet will be…

Sigh, and Earth used to be such a nice planet to visit.

Now, you can rest easy trusting the Shorter or you can join us in the jungles of below the fold starting…

Now.

From coast to coast, politicians want to hike the minimum wage. New York State legislators aim to lift it from $7.25 to $8.50 per hour. California lawmakers are weighing a boost from $8.00 to $8.50.

Ralph Nader recently urged the Occupy movement to demand that the federal floor increase from $7.25 to $10.00.

The US living wage is $12.50, the California living wage for one single adult living alone is currently $10.72. Add in a child and that jumps to $19.67. Notice that’s for the state as a whole. Jump to one of the big cities and that figure jumps into the $12 dollar range.

Living wage would be the amount a person would need to earn per hour working a full-time 40 hours a week in order to afford the bare necessities in terms of food, shelter, utilities, transport to work, and enough bare recreation to avoid going crazy.

Note that doesn’t even really include so-called luxury items like health care (cause national health insurance is communism), taking care of partners, roommates, or friends who are victims of the economy, student loans, or fees on debt.

Note also that said living wage assumes a 40 hour work week, which no minimum wage paying job offers their employees because we made a national decision that part time means fuck you and die.

Diabolical countries like Sweden and Denmark with their crumbling infrastructure and hordes of zombies roaming the streets converting people to communism treat the living wage as the minimum amount any person can receive, even if they are not working, in order to help them survive and not drain the other resources in crime, health issues to malnutrition or exposure, and so on.

But luckily we know better and know that people are only at their most innovative when they are looking at their shrinking bank account and wondering who’s liver they are going to harvest and sell on the black market to pay the electricity bill this month.

On March 6, former governor Willard Mitt Romney (R., Mass.) told CNBC’s Larry Kudlow that “there’s probably not a need to raise the minimum wage.”

Sure, 15.1 % of Americans were living below the poverty line in 2010, but why would we need to raise the minimum wage? It’s not like I would be personally affected by that. My income is WAY above the minimum. It’s like you don’t even think before asking me these questions.

In January, however, Governor Etch a Sketch said he would “allow the minimum wage to rise with the CPI [Consumer Price Index] or with another index so that it adjusts automatically over time.”

Sir, whisper, whisper, whisper.

What? I’m running for what now. Oh, right, little people. Um, I guess I’d throw them a quail bone from my billion dollar yacht or something?

Tragically, these proposals don’t go far enough.

What America needs is the economic equivalent of a 24-hour energy drink. Why not a $100-an-hour minimum wage?

$100 an hour? Ho, what glaring snark! Because… it’s a lot of money per hour?

Yeah, nearly 25 million of the 150 million wage earners in this country, i.e. 1/6 of all employed people, make $100 in a week thanks to the current minimum wage.

There aren’t enough ways to say, go fuck yourself.

If every worker were legally guaranteed this amount, just imagine the possibilities:

People would no longer be regularly dying in the streets, malnourished and forgotten as the citizens who most benefited from our system live lives that would make the Roman Emperors blush and argue on behalf of the common man?

Oh, sorry, you were doing some sort of slippery slope bullshit, weren’t you? Carry on.

Assuming 52 weeks of labor at 40 hours each, every American would earn at least $208,000 annually.

Wow! That’s a lot of money! A ludicrous amount of money that would take care of not only basic necessities, but most desired luxury items and allow them a comfortable upper class existence wherein earned money would almost cease to matter in any real way or have any real impact on additional happiness…

And you’d still be making 100 times less than Mitt Romney did as an unemployed person.

Wow, what does it say when you picked the most ridiculous amount of money you could think of and all it does is make the income gap between rich and poor sickening rather than just obscene?

This sum would move the typical American from rank-and-file to rich.

Naaaaaaw!

Man, what were those mean liberals thinking proposing a minimum wage hike that high?

Today’s $40,584 average individual income would quintuple. Why? Because Washington said so.

And if they proposed that everyone got a free pony, then everyone would have to go scrounge up stable material and feeding cost. Why? Because Washington said so.

Is English your first language? Cause, that’s not how analogies work.

Rather than a nation in which the top 1 percent fears the rage of the 99 percent, Americans could live harmoniously as 100 percent of workers would occupy, at worst, the top 3 percent. Thus, Class War I would conclude peacefully after it had barely begun.

Um, yes, if you removed the income gap, then yes, people would stop complaining about the income gap.

See, cause that’s what all those meanie poopy heads causing those proud 1%ers to live in fear inside their gilded pleasure palaces guarded by the armies of third world nations have been whining about. That they are dying in the streets for sub-living wage incomes while the rich earn the GDP of a small European nation every year.

Even greater benefits would flow like honey, if not like pancake syrup.

Okay, now you’re just baiting me with the quality of your similes. How long until you’re just spouting off Train lyrics?

With at least $208,000 to spend annually, each worker could buy tons of luxury goods. Tiffany, Nordstrom, and Coach stores could stay open 24/7 as millions of Americans suddenly could afford their previously pricey products. Four Seasons hotels could fill every suite. And the airlines could add extra first-class seats, since traveling up front would become affordable for everyone with a paycheck.

Yes, the rich can buy luxury goods they don’t need and show off opulence to show off opulence rather than out of a pressing need.

This proves that poor people don’t need incomes because…?

This super-stimulus would propel America’s GDP to Himalayan heights. A $100-per-hour minimum wage would give America’s 133 million workers at least $27.7 trillion in combined buying power — every year!

And if they spent all that, it would return into the economy to pay wages, buy new stuff, and etcetera. That’s kinda how the economy is supposed to work.

Fuck, that insane idea would be better than what we have now where a tiny handful of hyper-competitive fucknozzles have been only spending money where they can hope to siphon even more out of the economy in order to prove that they have a bigger dick than the next person down on The Forbes 400.

Maybe if we had a maximum income in this country, then we wouldn’t have an economy the size of a blue whale getting its balls kicked in by a tiny confederation of peninsulas that make a sport out of inventing new unpronounceable vowels.

Of course, this figure will climb even higher as the hefty new wage inspires virtually everyone not currently working to flood the labor market.

Yeah, because having a higher minimum wage will totally increase the number of job openings in the country.

All those people filing over a hundred applications a year just weren’t theoretically making enough if they ever got the job to… get the job they don’t have now… is this the wingnut zen koan of douchery? Why won’t the poor lift themselves up by the bootstraps they cannot afford to own? What is the sound of one hand fapping?

With all the money that employers will make in increased sales, it will be a snap for them to hire America’s 12.8 million jobless people, at a minimum cost of some $2.7 trillion annually. At long last, this will end — not mend — unemployment.

Ironically, enough, paying people functional wages, much less ludicrous wages, probably would help end unemployment as people wouldn’t need to regularly work 3-5 jobs just to pay the bills and try and put a little aside for the inevitable “surplus to requirements” round of downsizing or medical emergency. Also we could actually see the return of the single-income-earner household because it would be possible to do that.

Oh, right, grr, employing people in my insane hypothetical would be really expensive, let’s let people starve and cut welfare again. Grr.

And consider the windfall for the government. The U.S. tax code establishes a 33 percent tax rate on everyone earning $208,000.

Wait.

33%?

33fuckingpercent?!?

That’s it?

That’s a take home of $140,000 a year or enough to purchase a new home, cash down, every single fucking year.

Oh, yeah, this analogy totally reveals the perfidy of a long overdue $1.25 minimum wage hike in one state and the futility of the “class war”. No, my friends repeatedly trying to figure how to make $5 last a week in food have seen the errors of their ways at the obscenity of how the rich suffer in taxes now.

Even after deductions, this would translate into roughly $9 trillion in income-tax revenues every year. This Niagara Falls of cash could help Uncle Sam pay his bills. Bye-bye, national debt!

Um, not to be a party pooper, but was there a point to all this? I mean, you’ve presented a bunch of math about a completely insane hypothetical, but-

Now, some party-poopers might argue

Ah, yes! Hmm, let’s see, we’ll probably see something about how such wages would bankrupt the nation or some shit about “the hard-working small businessman” or maybe some slippery slope tomfoolery about “where will we end in these spiraling minimum wage costs”-

that the government has no right to tell employers how much to pay their employees.

What?

Now, some party-poopers might argue that the government has no right to tell employers how much to pay their employees.

This is your big objection?

Not that “minimum wages” are too high, because eating is over-rated? That there’s such a thing as a minimum amount an employer can pay you for your hard work?

Yes, I imagine Bill E. Plantation Owner is very upset that the government has a right to tell employers how much to pay their employees.

Because that keeps the number from being zero.

Ya know? Like how it was for an unpleasantly large amount of people in 1800s America and for the 99% back in those wingnut paradise days of the Dark Ages?

I mean, maybe you didn’t think of that, what with not being black and… What was that? No, that couldn’t be tr-

Okay, I’ll scroll up and check.

Apparently he is black.

What the fucking hell is wrong with you? How can a black man, no matter how much he’s sold his soul to the wingnuts manage to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write a sentence like that without having the racial history of his people try and remove him from existence?

I just-

Roll the next paragraph. There’s nothing more I could possibly say about that.

However, these naysayers forget that the minimum-wage law says nothing about how much employers can pay, just how little. Employers certainly could pay employees more than one hundred dollars per hour.

Is this what passes for a joke among upper-class assholes? Oh, don’t worry wanna-be slaveowners of America, you could always pay your employees more than the minimum wage! Ha, the notion is unthinkable on its very face. What wit Reginald! More than the minimum wage indeed!

Others may wonder where employers would find the money to comply with this modest proposal.

Yeah, no. You had the chance to do the hacktastic and disingenuous “where will we find the money for the ludicrous not at all analogous proposal” shtick and you decided to go with the “why can’t we return to the days of slavery aspect instead”.

Sorry, but no. You have officially lost the chance to pull this shtick. And in fact you should shut up now before you say something really-

This question is impertinent and perhaps a little bit racist.

You’re making a “racism” “joke” after using snark to argue for the end of a minimum wage and the return to slavery.

Man, if only I didn’t run out of “go fuck yourselves” back at the top of the post.

Far worse, it lacks imagination. After all, imagination settled the American West, whisked Americans to the Moon, and even invented Strawberry Daiquiri Jell-O. Where there’s a will, Americans find a way.

Amid such myopia, simply listen to George Bernard Shaw. As he famously put it: “You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’” With words like that, who needs a magic wand?

It’s like they’ve heard of humor and assumed it was a dessert topping, but insisted they knew how to make it.

A $10 or even $12 hourly minimum wage represents the kind of small-mindedness that subverts the American Experience. $100 an hour reflects the boldness that built these United States. And just imagine the beauty of a $1,000-an-hour minimum wage.

Come on, America. Think big. Think really, really big!

Yes, slightly below a living wage assuming full time employment is just as ludicrously large of a number as scary round numbers so let’s get rid of the minimum wage entirely…

I-

Who would even come up with something this-

New York commentator Deroy Murdock is … a media fellow with the Hoover Institution

Ah. Natch.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Forcing the minimum wage on conservatives atop my Soros Tower of Evil so you don’t have to is invented by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Otherwise known as National Review Online

210 Comments »

  1. tsam said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:10

    Boom.

    First.

  2. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:13

    Fuck you.

  3. tsam said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:13

    From coast to coast, politicians want to hike the minimum wage. New York State legislators aim to lift it from $7.25 to $8.50 per hour. California lawmakers are weighing a boost from $8.00 to $8.50.

    Ralph Nader recently urged the Occupy movement to demand that the federal floor increase from $7.25 to $10.00.

    From coast to coast, wingnuts are taking 3 year olds to school in the art of proper tantrum throwing.

  4. Cerberus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:16

    This particular mango-shore was so sickening, I braved the tigers to post this in the comments:

    Ha! It’s funny because sub-living wages are analogous to the incomes of our financial and social superiors!

    Truly the liberals must be clutching their sides at that mortal wound!

    Let’s see how long it lasts.

  5. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:19

    Gee, if the government threw money at everybody things WOULD be better. There are more than a few people with serious economic chops who think a guaranteed minimum income is a good thing. And it’s not like it can’t be done. So sure, a $100 minimum wage is a good start, but why not extend it to the people who aren’t working?

    Now, some party-poopers might argue that the government has no right to tell employers how much to pay their employees.

    So just give it to everybody and let employers pay what they like.

  6. tsam said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:20

    The moniker “trickle down” is an analogy to a certain form of watersport. That one, however, is not a non-sequitur.

  7. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:23

    POOP.

  8. actor212 said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:23

    A $10 or even $12 hourly minimum wage represents the kind of small-mindedness that subverts the American Experience.

    He’s right: minimum wage should be set at least as high as the dockwhores get for blow jobs.

  9. tsam said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:27

    A $10 or even $12 hourly minimum wage represents the kind of small-mindedness that subverts the American Experience.

    If the “American Experience” is grinding and oppressive poverty despite working yourself to death, then yes, yes, I’d say this is a true statement.

    What kind of buttmunch capitalizes American experience as if it were a proper noun, rather than a jackoff fantasy for people who don’t know stuff?

  10. Smut Clyde said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:27

    Diabolical countries like Sweden and Denmark with their crumbling infrastructure and hordes of zombies roaming the streets converting people to communism

    You forgot Finland! Third-world hellhole of ignorant starving murderous misogynists!

  11. gocart mozart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:30

    Even greater benefits would flow like honey, or flow like bowels after a burritto and bourban dinner, or Flo in a car insurance commercial.

  12. Thread Bear said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:36

    After reading Mr Murdoch’s (is he one of Rupert’s kids?) article, I’m actually pumped for the whole $100 minimum wage idea. I say let’s all write our congresspeople.

  13. RWW said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:47

    If his work product is any measure, Deroy should be earning a negative $100 an hour. He’ll be back to the beloved days of Wingnutopia circa 1850 in no time.

  14. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:55

    I’m too busy trying to figure out this blogger thing to read and comment here. Lucky you.

  15. wiley said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:57

    Free land settled the West.

  16. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:00

    Wingnuts really suck at humor.

    As an antidote, Dr. Strangelove is on TCM right now.

  17. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:01

    Free land settled the West.

    Hey, free land settled the East too!

    Some kinda lesson there somewhere…

  18. tigris said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:08

    100 percent of workers would occupy, at worst, the top 3 percent

    I know he’s trying like Hell to be funny, but this only makes it look like analogies and humor ain’t the only things he doesn’t get.

    Others may wonder where employers would find the money to comply with this modest proposal. This question is impertinent and perhaps a little bit racist.

    ???

    Tell you what, he’s convinced me that in some instances even the current minimum wage might be too generous, because DAMN if he got paid anything for that he got paid too much.

  19. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:19

    I want Flo’s Big Brother Black Helicopter app, but sady, not available for scooters!
    .

  20. Major Kong said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:29

    As an antidote, Dr. Strangelove is on TCM right now.

    Woo hoo!

  21. tigris said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:30

    My guess is he thinks he’s arguing reductio ad absurdum, but if so he doesn’t get that either. He wants to pretend there’s no way to calculate minimum livable wages by looking at concrete things like rent and food prices so the amount is only affected by liberal wishful thinking.

  22. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:34

    ya know, not being on here for about a week or so, and then coming back to this is fairly depressing…

    on the other hand, though my big gala affair was SUPER!!! but i am sofucking glad it’s over…a sit down dinner for 250 is just a bitch and half to plan and host…but that’s what i get paid the big bucks for…

  23. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:34

    The other comment form without the drop-down menu tends to be less glitchy.

    ?

    The only drop-down I see is the “comment as” thingy. … Let anyone comment … nope, doesn’t change a thing.

  24. Major Kong said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:37

    a sit down dinner for 250 is just a bitch and half to plan and host

    I can’t even imagine. I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for more than 10 people.

  25. Nym said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:38

    How can a black man, no matter how much he’s sold his soul to the wingnuts manage to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write a sentence like that without having the racial history of his people try and remove him from existence?

    Deroy Murdoch is obviously a pen name for Clayton Bigsby.

  26. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:40

    The only drop-down I see is the “comment as” thingy.

    Yeah, that one tends to hate people more.

  27. Just Alison in a red velvet hat said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:42

    What a twonk, not to mention a twonk with no conception of percentage-i-ness.

    Substance McG, your idea is actually one that I’ve had on occasion as a potential aspect of a utopian society: the government pays everyone the basal wage (equal-ish to unemployment benefits, or at least living wage level UB), and then employers pay their employees the top-up. Needs some tweaking with taxes and so forth, but could potentially simplify taxes and UB and all sorts of things.

    Of course, that’s in a civilised country that doesn’t think that folk on UB need to be starved into going out and finding one of the millions of jobs that are doubtless out there for the taking if only they weren’t so lazy and lying about on their chaise longues.

    In other news, increasing the minimum wage actually does pack more of a punch economically than tax cuts for rich buggers – in fact, a gubmint handout to poor folk increases economic return the most of all possible stimuli. But that’s Keynesian heresy, which has no place here.

    And now we will return you to your scheduled snark.

  28. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:42

    Top minister Gerry Brownlee has apologised for disparaging remarks about Finland, when he described Finns as uneducated, unemployed murderers who don’t respect women.

    He must have been thinking of Kullervo, or maybe Actor212.

  29. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:45

    I can’t even imagine. I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for more than 10 people.</i.

    oh, i didn't have to cook…just work with the caterers and do the seating, decorating, reservations, listen to bitching from whiny donors, and emcee…

  30. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:47

    tagfail…sweet…

  31. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:47

    and he kills all of Kalervo’s tribe save for one pregnant woman named Untamala, who submits to Untamo

    mmmmm…tamales…

  32. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:51

    Substance McG, your idea is actually one that I’ve had on occasion

    A lot of people have had the idea, but my version has more ass in it.

  33. Cerberus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:01

    Sub-

    Yup, and it’s pretty much how wages worked in Denmark when I was there. The living wage was the guaranteed bottom that the government paid and it was assumed that any company looking to hire paid more as an incentive for people to devote their labor to X employer.

    As we can see by Denmark’s cripplingly high unemployment rate and failed economy, that only bred laziness and complacency among the public.

  34. rosebuddear said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:04

    hell, Robert Heinlein put forth this idea in “For We, the Living”. Granted, this was in his younger days when he was still thinking about things besides teenage girl sex with old guys, and wasn’t a complete winger yet.

  35. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:07

    Yup, and it’s pretty much how wages worked in Denmark when I was there.

    I was not aware.

  36. Matt said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:27

    “Yes, I imagine Bill E. Plantation Owner is very upset that the government has a right to tell employers how much to pay their employees.

    Because that keeps the number from being zero.”

    Hell, I suspect they’re pissed that they can’t CHARGE workers for the privilege of showing up.

  37. Just Alison in a red velvet hat said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:37

    A lot of people have had the idea, but my version has more ass in it.

    You mean I’m not frist? Well damn! There goes my Cunning Plan (TM).

    Rosebuddear, I knew Heinlein had the occasional good idea, but I didn’t know that was one of them. I got pretty sick of him once I’d read one too many of the old-man-bonking-young-women-with-large-but-perky-breasts stories (a trait he shared with Piers Anthony, if I recall correctly)

    And at least my arse has more arse in it, although I wouldn’t describe it as perky. Plus we’re hosting a Symposium that’s absolutely chock-full of arses, although they’re mostly speaking.

  38. Crissa said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:37

    Don’t forget negative numbers. After slavery went illegal, they figured out ways to pay negative income amounts to sharecroppers and other workers, making the debts they incurred on the job exceed any possible earnings.

  39. Nym said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:44

    I got pretty sick of him once I’d read one too many of the old-man-bonking-young-women-with-large-but-perky-breasts stories (a trait he shared with Piers Anthony, if I recall correctly)

    The New Wave of sf had a pretty weird effect on the old guard, didn’t it?

  40. jim said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:49

    Cerberus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:16 (kill)

    Hee hee hee!
    I too flung some P00P in among teh tiggers:

    jim2011
    03/26/12 19:36

    Worker productivity in America has been going up for decades on end, & while profits have taken off like a rocket, workers’ wages have remained nearly flat as a board the whole time.

    Some might argue that whistling past that particular graveyard with $100/hr. hyperbole may not be the cunning plan it appears at first blush.

    (/may or may not be commentwhoring — nro’s state of the art l33th@x comment system blows even worse than before)

  41. Nym said,

    March 27, 2012 at 1:58

    After slavery went illegal, they figured out ways to pay negative income amounts to sharecroppers and other workers, making the debts they incurred on the job exceed any possible earnings.

    Wasn’t that pretty much what the truck system (scrip and company stores) was all about?

  42. Privatize The Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:03

    Conservatives are so polite!

    I’m sure there a dozens, nay hundreds, of countries out there that have already achieved economic utopia simply by eliminating that nasty intrusive minimum wage.

    And yet, for some reason, conservatives are too darned polite to start an argument with liberals by mentioning the names of all these low-wage utopias.

    It’s the same with the current craze for governmental “austerity”.

    Herbert Hoover’s economic policies worked so well in the 1930′s!

    Yet conservatives are just too darn polite to remind us about that.

  43. RWW said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:06

    That’s a Glibertarian paradise with wages at or below zero. I wonder if there would still be wingnut welfare once they got their dystopia?

  44. Smut Clyde said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:07

    A lot of people have had the idea, but my version has more ass in it.
    Mack Reynolds was big on the idea of a Negative Income Tax to ensure the minimum income.

  45. Smut Clyde said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:10

    He must have been thinking of Kullervo

    Time to play the Kullervo Symphony again.

  46. Pryme said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:45

    Man, he really hit all the familiar notes, huh?

    Slamming LIBERAL New York and California? CHECK

    Using what’s happening in both as some microcosm of what’s going on in the country? CHECK

    (Bonus for Projection: Can you think of something big that conservative states are pushing through right now? Something involving probes and shaming women? Yet It’s LIBERALS who are the sneaky ones? CHECK)

    An anecdotal tale that’s LIBERAL enough to rile up conservatives, but doesn’t pass the critical thinking test (“Wait, since when did Nader have any influence in OWS?”) CHECK

    Fun with basic math ($100 times 8 working hours! Jinkies!) CHECK

    A fundamental misunderstanding of how government works, not to mention the true forces that influence it (“Because Washington can.”) CHECK

    Seriously, is there like some conservative think-tank Mad Libs writing class that these guys all go to? If so, is plagiarism really a concept for them, or just a way to make sure they change the “important stuff,” like dates, pop culture references and the author’s name?

  47. Bitter Scribe said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:53

    Wages are theft!

  48. The Principal Contributt said,

    March 27, 2012 at 2:55

    I would gladly forgo my $100/hour minimum wage in exchange for the legal right to urinate on douchebags like “Deroy Murdock” whenever I felt like it.

  49. N__B said,

    March 27, 2012 at 3:35

    Does tha $100/hr minimum include tips?

  50. Fenwick said,

    March 27, 2012 at 4:07

    I’m too busy trying to figure out this blogger thing

    If the Great Pupienus Blog is the result, we are indeed lucky !!!

  51. Fenwick said,

    March 27, 2012 at 4:17

    tagfail…sweet…

    And as cute as ever. Glad yer back, bbfk.

  52. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 4:27

    Yesterday my piranha Doll-Face died alone. He got run over by a UFO. My question is to Cthulhu… Why did it have to be my Doll-Face?

  53. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 27, 2012 at 4:51

    Why did it have to be my Doll-Face?

    NOT WASHED IN THE BLOOD OF THE DAMNED.
    .

  54. N__B said,

    March 27, 2012 at 4:52

    My question is to Cthulhu…

    Circle takes the square.

  55. jim said,

    March 27, 2012 at 5:02

    Circle takes the square.

    Charo to block!

  56. N__B said,

    March 27, 2012 at 5:04

    Charo/Cthulhu is the worst tentacle pr0n ever.

  57. Karl The Crap Blog Detective said,

    March 27, 2012 at 7:44

    You forgot Finland! Third-world hellhole of ignorant starving murderous misogynists!

    It’s even worse then that! A third-world hellhole of ignorant starving murderous hipsters!

  58. Wyatt Watts III said,

    March 27, 2012 at 9:12

    Charo/Cthulhu is the worst tentacle pr0n ever.

    Little known fact: Cthulu is actually a very talented classical Spanish guitar player and also holds the record for most guest spots on The Love Boat.

  59. Smut Clyde said,

    March 27, 2012 at 9:59

    the worst tentacle pr0n ever.
    Present for Pupienus!

  60. W. Kiernan said,

    March 27, 2012 at 12:03

    “The U.S. tax code establishes a 33 percent tax rate on everyone earning $208,000.”

    NO IT DOES NOT. THE FEDERAL INCOME TAX RATE ON SOMEONE EARNING $208,000 IS NOT 33 PERCENT.

    Sorry about shouting, but when I become dictator, mine will be a mild beneficent reign, except for people who openly display their deliberate ignorance of marginal tax rates. These abominable villains shall be slowly, hideously tortured to death in televised public executions.

  61. Pere Ubu said,

    March 27, 2012 at 14:53

    What is the sound of one hand fapping?

    I’m sure the elites in Washington will determine that when it becomes necessary to their Marxist Stalinist dictatorship.

    In addition, they could very well decide to square the circle, mix oil and water, prove Fermat’s Last Theorem, find dark matter, ensure the chips run out at the same time as the dip, force people to pay a lot for this muffler, and set pi to exactly 3.

    How?

    It’s WASHINGTON!!! (BYAH-HAHAHAHAHA! *sound of thunder*)

  62. DAS said,

    March 27, 2012 at 15:39

    From coast to coast, politicians want to hike the minimum wage. New York State legislators aim to lift it from $7.25 to $8.50 per hour. California lawmakers are weighing a boost from $8.00 to $8.50.

    So what’s stopping them if they want to so much? What ever happend to “if there is a will, there is a way”?

    Anyway, if he’s so concerned about the plight of the entrepreneur, the best thing we could do is institute a Scandinavian/Finnish style “socialist” safety net so that entrepreneurs don’t have to worry about how they will afford benefits packages for employees (*) and would not have to worry about what would happen if the business failed (in a free market, businesses fail … it happens) as there would be a safety-net to catch them in such a case (*,**).

    * I know the plural of anecdote is not data, but I know an entrepreneur who would love to have his wife work with him, but someone needs a steady source of income — with benefits — to keep the family afloat in case things don’t work out so well with his business and to ensure the family has health care.

    ** again the plural of anecdote is not data, yadda, yadda, yadda, but one of the reasons why my uncle, who likes to work as a freelancer (with a part-time faculty job teaching medical English), lives in Finland is that he can do what he wants (and be very productive for society, for what it’s worth, writing, promoting tourism and teaching) without having to worry about how he’ll get health care benefits or what will happen if there is a lull in demand for tourist brochures or for English classes — because the state provides it for him (and yes, he does pay for it — with taxes … but that works a helluvalot more efficiently than how we pay for it here).

  63. tsam said,

    March 27, 2012 at 15:59

    Here, wingnuts, let me sum up the US economic system for all those outside the top 20% or so:

    Carrots and sticks. White people get the carrots, black people get the sticks.

    This is your brain, this is your brain on conservatism: Ho8bnlq2m9db

    Any questions?

  64. DAS said,

    March 27, 2012 at 16:08

    BTW, your inclusion of the word “lemur” in your post ridiculing an article written by a black man is yet another example of how liberals are the real racists.

    And Robert Byrd. Don’t forget Robert Byrd.

  65. kg said,

    March 27, 2012 at 16:12

    empty baggie!
    attacked a school bus driver!
    wore a hoodie!
    was totes tuggish ruggish bone!
    had granite countertops!

    see, silly libs, we should be thanking George Zimmerman.

  66. JK47 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 16:30

    This Jonathan Swift “Modest Proposal” type of essay is the lamest shit ever. It’s the kind of thing you write in freshman English Comp. I’m sure it was hilarious back in the 18th century but give it a rest already.

  67. RWW said,

    March 27, 2012 at 16:53

    A more modest proposal would be a maximum wage of $100 per hour. Heads asploding all over Wall Street and Washington DC. OH NOES!

  68. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:01

    (in a free market, businesses fail … it happens)

    blashphemer!

  69. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:01

    blashphemer!

    but only if you’re drunk…otherwise, you know…BLASPHEMER!

  70. actor212 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:11

    You forgot Finland! Third-world hellhole of ignorant starving murderous misogynists!

    Could be worse. Could be Lithuanians.

  71. actor212 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:12

    he described Finns as uneducated, unemployed murderers who don’t respect women.

    He must have been thinking of Kullervo, or maybe Actor212.

    I am NOT unemployed!

  72. Pupienus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:32

    Not to throw stones, Fermat’s last joke theorem has been proved. And teh bibble says pi is 3.

  73. Ckelly said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:53

    Following up on W Kiernan….208k puts one in the 33% tax BRACKET…only a fraction of that income is taxed at that RATE….
    Dishonest fucknozzles ALWAYS LIE about this
    So Cerb the take home is much higher than 140k

  74. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:58

    And teh bibble says pi is 3.

    not to split hairs, but don’t you mean ???????

  75. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:58

    stoopid preview…

  76. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 17:59

    Smut Clyde said,
    March 27, 2012 at 9:59

    the worst tentacle pr0n ever.
    Present for Pupienus!

    I am somewhat disturbed that I find that kind of HAWT.

  77. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 18:01

    (??????????)

  78. actor212 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 18:06

    So Cerb the take home is much higher than 140k

    Not really “much higher”. According to the IRS, the tax due on $208,000 in 2012 would be around $50,000 (assumes no dependents and the standard deduction). Social Security and Medicare would be another $5,000, so we’re talking take home of $153K.

    Not that $13K is anything to sneeze at…

  79. Cerberus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 18:34

    WKiernan and Ckelly-

    Ah, that’s on me for not remembering the whole marginal tax rate thing.

    I’m almost glad though that I wasn’t thinking about it though, because it really does underscore so much whining bullshit that even when they are deliberately ignoring what marginal tax rate means and even if we were to take their bullshit assertions at face value, it’s still an obscene amount of money with nothing meaningful in tax.

    It’s like, even if this wasn’t marginal and you really were “losing” all this money to the mean old Government, you’re still taking home a fucking brand new home every year.

    Fuck, that might be a great talking point counter to all the “the rich are being taxed too much, meep meep meep”. They’re like, “boo hoo hoo, bullshit percentage of money being taxed that ignores marginal tax rates”, “hmm, so what you’re saying is they’re walking away with 14 and a half new homes a year, but want another 3 homes and a yacht each year.”

  80. jim said,

    March 27, 2012 at 18:42

    Mmm, FAIL: the queue at N-R-D’Oh let in BOTH the pre- & post-login versions of my reply from 01:49 up thither.

    LOL INTERNETS

  81. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 18:44

    I haz a happy. Here’s something to brighten your day.

    http://www.listheword.com/index.php/news/general/item/358-us-vermont-military-college-holding-first-gay-pride-week

  82. jim said,

    March 27, 2012 at 18:57

    GRITTY YLANG-YLANG-ENHANCED REB00T

  83. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:14

    did i tell y’all that a couple of weeks ago i got into an argument with an asshat who really believes there are no starving people in america? he is also convinced that we need zero government and things like road maintenance would be taken over by good citizens who totes wouldn’t try to screw us for driving on their roads…yeah, that’s who the nro commentors remind me of…

  84. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:15

    GRITTY YLANG-YLANG-ENHANCED REB00T

    this makes me long for a new episode of louis vs rick…

  85. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:25

    Major Kong said,

    March 27, 2012 at 0:29 (kill)

    “As an antidote, Dr. Strangelove is on TCM right now.”

    Woo hoo!

    And That’s a direct quote.

  86. N__B said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:29

    What are you, sone kind of prevert?

  87. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:35

    Fuck, that might be a great talking point counter to all the “the rich are being taxed too much, meep meep meep”. They’re like, “boo hoo hoo, bullshit percentage of money being taxed that ignores marginal tax rates”, “hmm, so what you’re saying is they’re walking away with 14 and a half new homes a year, but want another 3 homes and a yacht each year.”

    Yep. For instance, that notably unemployed businessman is experiencing such hard times that he could only afford to buy a 16 million dollar home in La Jolla to tear down. And further, he is so destitute he can only afford to build one NOT EVEN three times the size.

    Makes a tear come to teh eye, it does.

  88. Bitter Scribe said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:43

    I’ll vote for a minimum wage of $100 if we can enforce a minimum wingnut IQ of 100.

  89. mark f said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:52

    Projectionist is projecting.

    Jonah Goldberg:

    [W]hen you listen to some liberals defend the constitutionality of it, the argument boils down to “it has to be constitutional because it has to be” or “of course it’s constitutional, everyone I know thinks it’s constitutional.” [. . .] Elite liberals know many things, but they aren’t always clear on why they know them.

    Oh, and then there’s this:

    [W]hat’s remarkable about Lithwick, Greenhouse, and others who make this argument is how beholden they are to Groupthink and how little it occurs to them that they might be writing for audiences that don’t share their assumptions

    The best way to avoid Groupthink is to write for audiences that share your assumptions.

  90. Helmut Monotreme said,

    March 27, 2012 at 19:54

    I’ll vote for a minimum wage of $100 if we can enforce a minimum wingnut IQ of 100.
    think about what you’re asking for. Do you really want more wingnuts who can think their way out of a paper bag? Do you really want to trade in wingnuts who are stubborn, prejudiced and willfully ignorant, for ones who are educated and have chosen the side of greed, avarice and war after carefully considering the options?

  91. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:06

    Reading this brightened my morning: http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/republicans-are-causing-a-moral-crisis-in-america/2012/03/26/gIQACSM2dS_story.html?hpid=z1

  92. Pryme said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:07

    In this day and age, it’s kinda the same job, right? http://now.msn.com/now/0326-reporter-moonlights-as-stripper.aspx

  93. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:13

    comment from jonah’s tripe:

    I believe Ayn Rand wrote an essay about this, “Argument from Intimidation.” (Not that I’m a Randian, but she did make some interesting points.)

    you know who else made interesting points?

  94. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:17

    you know who else made interesting points?

    I don’t know, but I’m positive Jonah is not sure if he agrees entirely, but they’re worth considering.

  95. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:28

    It’s “His Girl Friday” meets “Striptease” — though Tressler doesn’t do much to conceal her identity, maintaining a blog called “Diary of an Angry Stripper”

    Ya know, “Angry Strippers” would be one hell of a game.

  96. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:30

    (Not that I’m a Randian, but she did make some interesting points.)

    Not a Randian? Jonah seems to go Galt every time a deadline looms.

  97. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:31

    In this day and age, it’s kinda the same job, right? http://now.msn.com/now/0326-reporter-moonlights-as-stripper.aspx

    I don’t really see a problem with it. Certainly it’d help as the society column writer. It’s not like her fellow strippers don’t share info.

  98. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:33

    I don’t really see a problem with it. Certainly it’d help as the society column writer. It’s not like her fellow strippers don’t share info.

    Doesn’t sharing info violate The Strippers’ Code? How dare you impugn the ethics of strippers!

  99. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:42

    I believe Ayn Rand wrote an essay about this, “Argument from Intimidation.” (Not that I’m a Randian, but she did make some interesting points.)

    dudes, no this wasn’t jonah…it was from his comment section…so sorry for misdirection…

  100. Thread Bear said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:44

    I don’t really see a problem with it. Certainly it’d help as the society column writer. It’s not like her fellow strippers don’t share info.

    I did find her coloumn on “what not to wear” very enlightening.

  101. mark f said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:46

    Jonah is not sure if he agrees entirely, but they’re worth considering.

    Anyway, there’s a lot to noodle over. Much more after he repeats the same lame joke several times on Twitter ask sfor ideas for his already halfassed Goldberg File alleged humor column works on a book chapter asks Ed Whelan or someone else who knows something what to think crushes a deadline.

  102. actor212 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:57

    you know who else made interesting points?

    Bob Seger?

  103. actor212 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 20:58

    Ya know, “Angry Strippers” would be one hell of a game.

    You fling ‘em with g-strings, see….

  104. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:09

    You fling ‘em with g-strings, see….

    It’s kinda hard to fling a 120 pound stripper with a G-string… hence the anger.

  105. actor212 said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:11

    It’s kinda hard to fling a 120 pound stripper with a G-string… hence the anger.

    The trick is to bounce ‘em off the floor on the silicone.

  106. tigris said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:16

    [W]hen you listen to some liberals defend the constitutionality of it, the argument boils down to “it has to be constitutional because it has to be” or “of course it’s constitutional, everyone I know thinks it’s constitutional.”

    Sure, I’ll grant some on the left aren’t the deepest of thinkers. Mostly they’re friends, family, or anonymous blog commenters, not authors for a supposedly respectable publication who get paid to write the laziest and most thought-free bullshit ever seen. Of course, others defending constitutionality are people who’ve actually done a little research and make a case based on it(including the very “liberals” he links as “proof”).

    In fact, following the link trail(except for Whelan, because fuck him), I was not surprised to see that he misread or oversimplified every fucking one(even de Rugy, his fellow NR author, whose article also oversimplifies Lithwick but is much more interesting and thoughtful than Jonah’s crayon scrawl; what is he, a filter for the readers too dumb to read the better authors?). Lithwick doesn’t just wave her hands, she mentions how it’s well within Commerce Clause precedent and links to Greenhouse’s more in-depth demolition of the “unconstitutional” case. In fact, to underscore mark f’s projection charge, Greenhouse points out the the legal case against is exactly the sort of “it’s unconstitutional because it’s obvious!” Jonah is claiming LIBERALS are making. I can only guess he didn’t actually read it, because if he did he’s even dumber than I thought, and that was already a pretty fucking low bar.

  107. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:26

    what is he, a filter for the readers too dumb to read the better authors?

    Nah, he’s Lucianne Goldberg’s son, and his position is simply payment for almost taking down Big Dog Clinton. It’s as simple as that.

  108. Pryme said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:28

    Ya know, “Angry Strippers” would be one hell of a game.

    Internet; probably already happened.

  109. mark f said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:48

    Greenhouse points out the the legal case against is exactly the sort of “it’s unconstitutional because it’s obvious

    This is Jonah’s position, by the way. He went on for months after someone (Biden?) pointed out that “not specifically enumerated in the Constitution” is not necessarily the same as “unconstitutional,” as if it was the most ridiculous thing anyone ever said.

  110. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:49

    Charlie Sheen? UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

  111. Major Kong said,

    March 27, 2012 at 21:50

    Ya know, “Angry Strippers” would be one hell of a game.

    Rule 34.

  112. histrogeek said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:00

    Wait a minute. Dipshit spent all that time snarking on raising the minimum wage to absurd levels and his best objection is warmed-over Ayn Rand. WTF? He can’t even be bother to mention in passing inflation, the one and only real negative to that huge an increase?! There is the ultimate demonstration of the moral and intellectual bankruptcy of the Right. They really can only imagine how something will affect the 1%. Fuck you very much.

  113. DAS said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:10

    Sure, I’ll grant some on the left aren’t the deepest of thinkers. Mostly they’re friends, family, or anonymous blog commenters, not authors for a supposedly respectable publication who get paid to write the laziest and most thought-free bullshit ever seen. – tigris

    Remember that an unfortunately large number of people view Richard “ROTFLMAO” Cohen or even Thomas Friedman as exemplary liberals/leftists. So yes, from the POV of all too many people, liberals/leftists are the sort of people who write for supposedly respectable publications (such as WaPo or the NYT) and wo get paid to write lazy and thought free bullshit.

    Of course, part of the issue with the “what’s constitutional is what’s constitutional” argument is how it is being made here. Put it in the hands of Justice Breyer and it actually is a quite respectable argument.

    Do conservatives not really believe “where there is a will, there is a way”? I would have thought that would be part of their “up from the bootstraps” mythos … and yet somehow when it applies to adapting the constitution to modern times, it is not an acceptable argument? Do they really want to return to the pre-industrial, people still owning slaves economy and system of liberties of the 18th century?

    Oh, wait a minute … I know the answer to that question. But then the question is why do other people take today’s righties seriously? And how to righties get off claiming to be pro-economic growth and pro-business when they want to take us back to a frickin’ pre-industrial state of affairs?

  114. Pryme said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:11

    OK, I’ve been reading Steve Benen’s “Chronicling Mitt’s Medacity” (currently on volume three) and..WHOA. The guy makes Loki look like Pollyanna.

    The Full Set can be found here: http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/23/10832032-chronicling-mitts-mendacity-vol-xi

  115. Pryme said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:15

    But then the question is why do other people take today’s righties seriously?

    They argue from emotion, and use emotionally-charged language to get their point across. They learned long ago that as long as they can make people scared or angry enough, those people will vote against their own best interests (see: GOP-run states have the worst health care).

  116. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:16

    Oh, wait a minute … I know the answer to that question. But then the question is why do other people take today’s righties seriously? And how to righties get off claiming to be pro-economic growth and pro-business when they want to take us back to a frickin’ pre-industrial state of affairs?

    The mass media takes righties seriously because the owners are corporatists through and through.

    As far as the pre-industrial state of affairs goes, that pre-industrial lifestyle is “for thee, not me”. As long as the Romneys and the Kochs of the world can simply helicopter into their walled compounds, they don’t care what sort of squalid backcountry they fly over.

  117. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:20

    Concerning that story about liberals being more prone to “unfriend” conservatives on social media sites than vice versa- here’s an e-mail from a teabagging former co-worker:

    There is no such thing as a liberal. a liberal is a commy with a college education thinking negro thoughts.

    Shit, if I were on Facebook, would I want this guy as a “friend”?

  118. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:21

    But then the question is why do other people take today’s righties seriously?

    Let us not forget that things are still sucking for a lot of people. The right has a lot of good language for you if you’re pissed off.

  119. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:25

    Getting back to that e-mail… thinking negro thoughts?

    Benjamin Banneker
    Frederick Douglass
    George Washington Carver
    Daniel Hale Williams
    Neil Degrasse Tyson
    Langston Hughes
    Miles Davis

    Negro thoughts, indeed…

  120. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:27

    He went on for months after someone (Biden?) pointed out that “not specifically enumerated in the Constitution” is not necessarily the same as “unconstitutional,” as if it was the most ridiculous thing anyone ever said.

    One of my favorite scenes from the first season of West Wing:

    In 1787, there was a sizable block of delegates who were initially opposed to the Bill of Rights. One member of the Georgia delegation had to stay by way of opposition, “If we list the set of rights, some fools in the future are going to claim that people are entitled only to those rights enumerated and no longer. The framers knew…” Harrison: Were you just calling me a fool, Mr. Seaborn? Sam: I wasn’t calling you a fool, sir. The brand new state of Georgia was.

  121. mark f said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:36

    You’d think Jonah would’ve learned that lesson, seeing as it was on television and all.

  122. Special One said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:46

    Wait. Did he just argue that the federally subsidized Transcontinental Railroad and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration were figments of our imagination?

  123. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:49

    Wait. Did he just argue that the federally subsidized Transcontinental Railroad and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration were figments of our imagination?

    Well now you’re gonna say someone walked on the MOON.

  124. Golem Heart said,

    March 27, 2012 at 22:49

    I have no idea if the Affordable Care Act is wholly constitutional. I mostly think about what’s right and what’s practical. We could amend our constitution. I’d prefer not to, if it meant a delay in helping people. Meanwhile, if we have to violate the constitution to improve millions of citizens’ lives, then so be it.

    Wingnuts misunderstand and misrepresent ideas constantly, so I’m not surprised that Jonah sees liberals jury-rigging constitutional arguments so frequently that he can make meaningful partisan generalizations. He sees us being fascist, too. Who knows what he’d think of my paragraph above. Our conservatives prefer their ad-hoc-ery and rule bending to involve killing certain people, tax avoidance, etc.

  125. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:00

    Our conservatives prefer their ad-hoc-ery and rule bending to involve killing certain people, tax avoidance, etc.

    Ad-hoc-ery, hackery… hackery, dickery, doc…

  126. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:07

    Hackery dickery, doc.
    Their viewpoints are ad-hoc.
    “Things G.O.P.
    Make ‘Murkins free.”
    …A premise libruls mock.

  127. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:07

    The Full Set can be found here

    whoa…just read the full set…wtf? it’s things like this that make me junkpunchy…

  128. Hogeye Grex said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:15

    Let us not forget that things are still sucking for a lot of people. The right has a lot of good language for you if you’re pissed off.

    Probably why they’re so intent on making life suck for so many.

  129. Hogeye Grex said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:20

    Ya know, “Angry Strippers” would be one hell of a game.

    The heel divots in the forehead might not be so much fun, though.

  130. tigris said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:20

    and yet somehow when it applies to adapting the constitution to modern times, it is not an acceptable argument? Do they really want to return to the pre-industrial, people still owning slaves economy and system of liberties of the 18th century?

    Do they really want to have no standing army? I mean JESUS it’s not like we’ve even changed the Constitution on that one, it’s still blatantly unconstitutional.

    As to why they’re taken seriously, beyond the low-info independents and undecideds who can be swayed by emotional appeals and the old people who remember better Republicans and haven’t noticed the shift, there are a lot of people in this country who are FUCKING NUTS.

    There is no such thing as a liberal. a liberal is a commy with a college education thinking negro thoughts.

    Wow, so much FAIL in such a small package*.

    *you know I do.

  131. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:21

    Probably why they’re so intent on making life suck for so many.

    new campaign slogan! republicans: making life suck for so many since ????

  132. wiley said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:22

    You guys seen Santorum’s “Obamaville” trailer for the horror film that is if Obama wins re-election?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DApjHZq9o7M

    Rude Pundit tore it up well AND posted a video by Pizza Cain.

  133. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:29

    Rachel Maddow is on Fresh Air. Damn shame she’s got them lady bits, nowuhimean?

  134. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:32

    Rachel Maddow is on Fresh Air. Damn shame she’s got them lady bits, nowuhimean?

    indeed…she makes me wish i was into ladybits…

  135. The Principal Contributt said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:34

    This is apropos of little in the thread but I’m about ready to hang up my connection to the internet for the rest of this month. I’m so sick of all the gazing at tea leaves and handwringing on HCR and can’t stand seeing any more about it.

    We’ve got people on the left going through every word spoken in front of the court with a fine toothed comb and wailing about today’s events, people on the right hemming and hawing about Obama’s Waterloo, and politicians aplenty spewing meaningless, starbursty pablum about liberty and freedom that has zero to do with anything even slightly related to the bill and nobody gives a shit they’re spurting santorum out their mouth.

    It’s such a fucking meaningless mess, what’s even the point of it? We all know it’s going to boil down to another Citizen’s United style split and no public conversation or demonstrations are going to change anything. The only thing we can do is wait to see which way it splits, like every other landmark USSC case that’s rammed a giant corporate dick up the peoples’ butts.

    Needless to say, I’m not optimistic, but I also don’t see the point of the coverage and hype going on. Bleh.

  136. bbkf said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:42

    It’s such a fucking meaningless mess, what’s even the point of it?

    this is exactly how i feel about the current politicalscape…and reading about mitt’s mendacity made it even worse…

  137. Major Kong said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:50

    Ya know, “Angry Strippers” would be one hell of a game.

    The heel divots in the forehead might not be so much fun, though.

    I usually have to pay extra for that sort of thing.

  138. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:52

    I usually have to pay extra for that sort of thing.

    Informed individuals tell me that if you’re kind of a pig and you’re near one of the poles an “accident” is possible.

  139. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:11

    Just overheard at the cllnic, outside the pharmacy: “I keep trying to order lidociane for anuscopy but the computer insists on making it the mint flavor.”

  140. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:14

    Minst is good if you don’t feel so fresh down there.

  141. tigris said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:22

    Like a cool mountain breeze.

  142. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:35

    HAY. What has two thumbs and an interview with a local municipality’s water treatment plant on Friday morning?
    .

  143. Smut Clyde said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:37

    The right has a lot of good language for you if you’re pissed off.
    Probably why they’re so intent on making life suck for so many.

    No-one could possibly have predicted that a political movement that draws its votes from people who are less educated, resentful and scared of the way the world is falling apart would concentrate its efforts, when in power, on degrading the education system, the economy and international / intra-national tranquility.

  144. Sir Craig said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:37

    wiley:

    Makes me wish I had the time to make a video of what America would look like under a Santorum theocracy, the only difference being my video would rely on actual, you know, facts and history to show the result.

  145. bbkf said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:56

    HAY. What has two thumbs and an interview with a local municipality’s water treatment plant on Friday morning?

    good luck, dude! and as i always tell my son, ‘don’t screw it up’ i think it always make him feel a little more confident…almost ‘minty’ if you like…

  146. bbkf said,

    March 28, 2012 at 0:57

    No-one could possibly have predicted that a political movement that draws its votes from people who are less educated, resentful and scared of the way the world is falling apart would concentrate its efforts, when in power, on degrading the education system, the economy and international / intra-national tranquility

    that’s american exceptionalism!

  147. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 28, 2012 at 1:32

    an interview with a local municipality’s water treatment plant

    They never seem to have much to say.

  148. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    March 28, 2012 at 1:45

    It’s such a fucking meaningless mess, what’s even the point of it?

    this is exactly how i feel about the current politicalscape

    Undermine it with your votes. Refuse to endorse it with your votes.

    Solidarity.

  149. Fenwick said,

    March 28, 2012 at 1:49

    Jeffraham: Good luck Friday !!! I’ll get all my lucky superstitious objects ready on the desk, with a note that says ‘Jeffraham — Friday’.

  150. jim said,

    March 28, 2012 at 1:52

    thinking negro thoughts?

    “Help me, Doc! I think my thoughts are becoming negroid!”

    Dog-whistle: some appear unable to grasp the deinition or provenance of this idiom.

  151. jim said,

    March 28, 2012 at 1:54

    “deinition” = “definition” + B33R.

  152. vacuumslayer said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:15

    I’d feel weird sending strippers careening into things…although the advantage to the game would be that you could keep the pigs.

  153. Major Kong said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:20

    HAY. What has two thumbs and an interview with a local municipality’s water treatment plant on Friday morning?

    Cool. I hope you get it.

  154. Bitter Scribe said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:20

    If anyone ever thought SCOTUS would not be political, Bush v. Gore should have disabused them of that notion forever.

    It’s funny, in a distinctly not ha-ha funny way, that the same assholes who have been fuming for decades about “unelected judges legislating from the bench” should now be turning to a bunch of them to block the last, best hope we’ll ever have of getting away from “can’t pay for your own health care? Then die.”

  155. Just Alison in a red velvet hat said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:25

    JP, extra good luck with antipodeal good luck rays on Friday – I’m sure they’ll be wowed by that whole ‘two thumbs’ thing.

  156. jim said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:31

    SMYLE OF THEE DAY = dropout or not, Herman Cain can still bring the catapulted/shotgunned bunnies LULZ!

  157. Major Kong said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:34

    I’d like to see Herman Cain meet this rabbit:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmu5sRIizdw

  158. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:37

    So i mentioned the minty-fresh anuscopy bit to my doctor. He laughed and said they had several tubs or tubes or whatever. He said he thought they might be good to take to the the clubs but not so much for anuscopy.

  159. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:48

    Steve Benen:

    4. In reference to Iran, Romney told Fox News, “It’s quite clear that the president wants to avoid in any way a discussion about a military option.”

    It’s quite clear Romney’s not telling the truth. Obama recently told AIPAC, in a speech Romney heard and critiqued, “I have said that when it comes to preventing Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon, I will take no options off the table, and I mean what I say. That includes all elements of American power: A political effort … a diplomatic … an economic effort … and, yes, a military effort to be prepared for any contingency.”

    I have to pick a nit here. A pretty big nit but still, just a nit. Obama quite rightly wants to avoid a discussion about the military option. The kind of rhetorical saber rattling Rmoney wants to engage in is counterproductive. You know what there Mittens? Your election would probably _force_ a military intervention. ‘Cause you’re stupid, and your dick is tiny.

  160. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:55

    he thought they might be good to take to the the clubs but not so much for anuscopy.

    Look out for the cinnamon-flavoured stuff.

  161. N__B said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:55

    ‘Cause you’re stupid, and your dick is tiny.

    Not a good band name, but awesome on a teeshirt.

  162. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:55

    Or these rabbits, Major:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Od92391upY

  163. Cerberus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:58

    Bitter Scribe-

    IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is a truism for a reason.

  164. 'natch said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:01

    I once shoved a junior mint up my peehole to cure a UTI.

  165. vacuumslayer said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:05

    One time, at band camp…

  166. N__B said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:08

    Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought this would happen to my candy stash…

  167. Major Kong said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:17

    I once shoved a junior mint up my peehole to cure a UTI.

    Alex, I’ll take “Things I’ll never say as long as I live” for $500……

  168. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:18

    Alex, I’ll take “Things I’ll never say as long as I live” for $500……

    I read all these out loud.

  169. islmfaoscist said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:25

    Fukcing wages, how do they work?!

    My blood pressure is still settling from suppressing my intense urge to reach through the teevee to throttle the “expert” being interviewed on PBS Newshour about how terribly hard it is to be a jobs creator in America today.
    This doughy, overpaid “managing director” of an all-American hi-tech company that makes open-pit coal mining equipment (srsly), spent his 15 minutes of Koch-Bros-subsidized fame whining that he just can’t find the highly skilled workers he needs to fill all the jobs he has to offer, because only stoopid applicants show up who can’t work their CNC-automated machine shop equipment.

    I had to turn it off when I found myself screaming at the Magical Hand of the Free Market to slap him upside the haid with the How Bout You Pay Them Higher Wages You Goddam Idiot stick. Obviously that’s the same way they ended up with such a paragon of bizness-skool FAIL sitting in his position whining impotently at Judy Woodruff.

  170. jim said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:28

    Dear Penthouse Forum: Thanks to a comely young nurse, I recently discovered an exciting new use for Diet Coke & Mentos …

  171. Chris said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:41

    As far as the pre-industrial state of affairs goes, that pre-industrial lifestyle is “for thee, not me”. As long as the Romneys and the Kochs of the world can simply helicopter into their walled compounds, they don’t care what sort of squalid backcountry they fly over.

    This.

    So what if America turns into a third world country? Economic elites live very well in third world countries. And they can always hire half the poor… yeah, you know the rest.

  172. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:47

    Spotting the grammar.
    Exploiting the rhetoric.
    Attesting the Daddy.
    Mating the bombardment.
    Destroying the smoking eye.
    Compressing the authority.
    Stinging the cultural jetsam.
    Hanging the stargazer.
    Lightening the bringer of light.
    Smelling the hillstream loach.
    Counting the humpback whale.

  173. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:52

    I really have to do some Penthouse JanusNode.

  174. Chris said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:55

    I have no idea if the Affordable Care Act is wholly constitutional. I mostly think about what’s right and what’s practical. We could amend our constitution. I’d prefer not to, if it meant a delay in helping people. Meanwhile, if we have to violate the constitution to improve millions of citizens’ lives, then so be it.

    As far as that bolded part goes – no, we couldn’t. Not in this climate. Any proposed amendment that came from our side of the aisle would run into a wall of conservative partisanship that would make their opposition to the ACA look positively civil. And any proposed amendment that came from their side is guaranteed to be a freaking disaster.

    I checked wikipedia: apparently, the last amendment we ever passed was in May 1992, before Clinton was elected and definitely before Gingrich’s takeover of Congress. There’s a reason why nothing’s been passed since then.

    I also checked further back just out of curiosity and sure enough, there was a 40+ year gap between 1870 and 1913 during which time no amendments at all were passed. That would be, of course, the Gilded Age. Apparently there’s something about eras of economic royalism that keeps the government from being able to function efficiently – surprise, surprise.

  175. N__B said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:12

    I really have to do some Penthouse JanusNode.

    Words or images? Because I find myself strangely interested in JanusNode’s possible output of randomly-selected body parts frankensteined together.

  176. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:17

    Hmm, that’d require a lot of uh, playing with Quartz Composer and a whole bunch of pictures of naked people I TOTALLY DON’T HAVE.

  177. Bitter Scribe said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:18

    DKW, too bad LEAFS SUCK won’t be going to the playoffs. Again.

    If it’s any consolation, the Blackhawks just lost a heartbreaker shootout to the Devils. Fucking Brodeur played like St. Peter at the pearly gates.

  178. kg said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:22

    Just saw a piece on the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire on PBS. That was rough. I remembered that the doors were locked preventing escape but I didn’t remember the part where the owners escaped via the roof

  179. wiley said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:29

    How is a small business like a bunny rabbit?

    W

    T

    F

    ?

    !

  180. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:30

    How is a small business like a bunny rabbit?

    Little circular poops. You just don’t see them until you tip one over.

  181. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:31

    Thank you one and all for your whale wishes.

    A friend of mine works at this plant, and called me as soon as she knew it would be posted for the public — no one internally wanted it, as this is an entry-level job. So, with her pull, I at least have the interview.

    May there be water and POOP in my future (hopefully more of the former, but the new guy being the new guy…).
    .

  182. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:31

    Or spherical poops, but 3D FUCKING SUCKS!

  183. Smut Clyde said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:45

    How is a small business like a bunny rabbit?
    Little circular poops.

    Do they eat them?

  184. N__B said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:47

    Frosted sugar poops.

  185. Smut Clyde said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:51

    an interview with a local municipality’s water treatment plant
    They never seem to have much to say.

    Whatever happened to the George W Bush Sewage Plant? I imagine it as loquacious though seldom informative.

  186. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:51

    Good luck Jeffraham! Here’s one for you – POOP!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZmQGAgboBU

  187. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:53

    Daytix’s Livebearer Linguine
    Blake Appraising’s Tadpole Cod Matzo
    UniCredit SpA’s Joyful Pacific Herring Sorbet
    Fucase Goo Mona’s Bland Cowfish Cookie
    Terry-Zina Tasha’s Parasitic Rio Grande Perch Ice
    Credit Agricole SA’s Poignant Pearleye Miso
    Colonel Loree-Timmy Fishkill-Subs’s Apricot Granola
    Master Sergeant Checkpoints-Fraction’s Paneer Cheese Matzo
    IBM Corp.’s Avant-Garde Collared Carpetshark Steak
    Ov’s Rhythmic Gila Monster Ice
    Marathon Oil Corporation Roughy Bisque

  188. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:54

    OK Smut, you’re lucky I didn’t have beer in my mouth when I read that. Skol!

  189. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 4:55

    http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2008/11/voters_flush_george_w_bush_sew.php

  190. Pryme said,

    March 28, 2012 at 5:22

    Ann Curry, we hardly knew ye: http://gawker.com/5896867/ann-curry-will-be-fired-as-co+host-of-the-today-show-because-everybody-hates-her

  191. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 28, 2012 at 5:29

    Here’s a university that could probably stand to employ some marketers.

  192. Golem Heart said,

    March 28, 2012 at 6:07

    “As far as that bolded part goes – no, we couldn’t [amend the constitution]. Not in this climate.”–Chris

    True. A step in that direction would be public recognition that it’s possible, that the almighty Founders made provisions for it.

    If I was a biblical fundamentalist, I might be particularly sensitive to the existence of documents not having God’s imprimatur. I’d consider the U.S. constitution in light of its provenance and inspiration. I’d want to be conservative to a fault in evaluating these. I’d argue to amend the constitution on this basis of its imperfection. I’d pay the founders some mild compliments and then motion for theocracy. How could I do otherwise?

    All we get is Santorums, though. They’re hooked on exceptionalism or whatever, claptrap sillier than their silliest religiosity, because it builds on the premises of that religiosity by profaning and exposing it. No humanist foe has caused as much harm to their cause?… Their U.S. Constitution is a fundamentalist’s sacred text — to be interpreted opportunistically, while denying that its meaning is anything but fixed and transparently obvious to those with eyes to see. Like our national story. Only a madman could synthesize the elements of this worldview…

    (Why is Santorum running for president, and not a governorship? Because he’d like to do federally what folks sometimes claim is the states’ business, like ban abortions. He’s empty. A nihilist without the skepticism?)

    It is as if an across-the-narrow-board establishment cabal decided that using constitutional amendments to further some vision of conservatism would backfire by chopping at the pillar of exceptionalism and by implicitly sanctioning much greater activism from the left. But that’s not it. There’s no such cabal, I think. There are just lots of people who believe irreconcilable things. We have the folk for fascism, or half of them, which may be enough.

    Pardon me if this screed is ill-considered, I’m off to bed.

  193. Chris said,

    March 28, 2012 at 6:35

    Not ill considered at all.

    If I was a biblical fundamentalist, I might be particularly sensitive to the existence of documents not having God’s imprimatur. I’d consider the U.S. constitution in light of its provenance and inspiration. I’d want to be conservative to a fault in evaluating these. I’d argue to amend the constitution on this basis of its imperfection. I’d pay the founders some mild compliments and then motion for theocracy. How could I do otherwise?

    That’s been one of the things that most consistently reminds me that they’re completely full of shit when they claim to be Christian fundamentalists.

    I don’t give a damn how many times your pastor tells you otherwise, you cannot have the blind, fanatic devotion these people have to human beings like the Founding Fathers, human laws like the Constitution and human institutions like countries (yes, even this one) and still claim that you’re following God above all else. Not when you elevate them to the ludicrous, near-divine status that they have today. See also “man,” “two masters” and “cannot serve.”

    Which, of course, they try to reconcile by outright inventing mythologies like the notion that the Constitution was divinely inspired or that the Founding Fathers wrote it as a Christian document. In real-world terms, it’s a bullshit rationalization. Theologically, it’s blasphemy and idolatry. They’d better hope there isn’t really a God, because the one they pretend to worship doesn’t put up with either.

  194. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 6:47

    Fuck you you fuckimg fuck.

  195. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 6:47

    Fucking fuck also.

  196. Smut Clyde said,

    March 28, 2012 at 7:00

    Whatever happened to the George W Bush Sewage Plant?

    The water treatment plant you’d like to have a beer from.

  197. Jennifer said,

    March 28, 2012 at 7:35

    I could understand why you wouldn’t want a George W. Bush Sewage Plant. It would not inspire confidence; sewage plants are supposed to clean up crap, not beshit your drinking water.

  198. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 28, 2012 at 8:18

    And sincerely, I do appreciate all the nice thoughts for my interrupting this 45-month involuntary retirement. I know I’m not exactly a stranger, but I feel like a n00b here, and I am humbled by everyone’s concern.
    .

  199. Suezboo said,

    March 28, 2012 at 9:35

    Jeffraham, good vibes from over the Great Waters for Friday. I mean, any denizen of Sadly really knows from poop, amirite?
    LarryElvis and Curly deserve the gushy fud – go get that job ! You can do it!
    And other Positive Thinking type stuff.

  200. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 28, 2012 at 9:41

    Here’s were I would be working, should all go well. On the shores of J. Percy Priest Lake!
    .

  201. Fenwick said,

    March 28, 2012 at 10:49

    We have the folk for fascism, or half of them, which may be enough.

    This.

    Theologically, it’s blasphemy and idolatry. They’d better hope there isn’t really a God, because the one they pretend to worship doesn’t put up with either.

    And this.

    Thanx to Golem Heart and Chris.

  202. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    March 28, 2012 at 15:00

    DKW, too bad LEAFS SUCK won’t be going to the playoffs. Again.

    I’m barely even lurking and you still kick me when I’m down? Thanx.

    Alsotoo. Break a leg, JP. Or a thumb, since you have a spare.

  203. DAS said,

    March 28, 2012 at 15:48

    I find myself strangely interested in JanusNode’s possible output of randomly-selected body parts frankensteined together. – N__B

    I’m sure we’re very close to invoking Rule 34 here. Goodness knows there is a whole online community of people who are “strangely interested” in such things as well as plenty of images available over the intertubez. Certainly, thanks to the magic of decadent capitalism (and I would class today’s fundies as at the forefront of decadence even if they would deny it), pretty much anything is available … if you have enough money to pay for it.

    Gevalt!: reading the above, I’m realizing I sound a bit like Janus-Node. Maybe I need more caffeine?

  204. Major Kong said,

    March 28, 2012 at 15:49

    DKW, too bad LEAFS SUCK won’t be going to the playoffs. Again.

    I’m sure they did better than the Columbus Blue Jackets – whose arena I’m now part owner of since we had to bail them out.

  205. Cerberus said,

    March 28, 2012 at 16:06

    Enjoy new morning post.

  206. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    March 28, 2012 at 16:16

    re: God and Teh Constitution

    It’s religion. Beliefs don’t have to make sense or be rational. Divinely Inspired Founding Fathers is easier to swallow than Magic Sky-Fairy is Obsessed with Your Genitalia. People’s beliefs need do nothing more than provide a sense of purpose or a modicum of comfort. Rationality and consistency aren’t features since you don’t need to have Faith in things that are empirically demonstrable.

    IMO, the problem isn’t so much that politically motivated religious organizations are irrational – irrationality is the nature of religion. It’s not even that they are politically motivated (aside from the whole promising to be apolitical to qualify for tax exemptions thing). The problem is that the rest of society is so concerned about the feefees of homophobic, bigoted, chauvinist, racist, sociopathic, shitbag hypocrites with autocratic delusions of grandeur, that they don’t get the ostracism and shunning they so properly deserve.

  207. jim said,

    March 28, 2012 at 17:43

    Janus Node Rule 34 = VERY DO NOT WANT.

  208. My Sharia Moor said,

    March 29, 2012 at 12:32

    From coast to coast, wingnuts are taking 3 year olds to school in the art of proper tantrum throwing.

    Until wingnuts shit on a cop car, the libtards have fucking forgotten more about temper tantrums than any 3 year old could ever learn.

  209. redwoods said,

    March 29, 2012 at 16:55

    Kid takes a dump on a cop car, wingers shoot unarmed kids in the street, OBVI THESE ARE TOTES EQUAL.

  210. Linksplat – 02/04/12 « Cubik's Rube said,

    April 2, 2012 at 22:12

    [...] If you’re going to insist that people earn at least slightly less than a living wage, why not give everyone a hundred bucks an hour? Huh? [...]

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