Mar
25

Damn You Time-Traveling Bill Ayers!




Posted at 21:05 by Cerberus

Birthermania, conservatives’ answer to Woodstock.

Monte Kuligowski, The Nice Folks at American Thinker:
Birthermania!

Man, lately it has seemed that all my job is has been bouncing between outlandish conspiracy theories that want to claim that everyone and their mother is all in on the plot to keep an impossibility from being acknowledged as fact.

I guess it’s because the 2012 election season is looking to be little more than choosing a GOP goat for Obama to sacrifice on the altar for Soros (may He be praised always). So the conservatives are starting early on the whole “it was the schemes within schemes that stole this election from us” so as to try and obfuscate how deeply unpopular rooting for a return to 13th century values has been.

So, it’s nice. It really is a fucking refreshing breeze to see that while our good friends at the American Thinker have added full-on Birther lunatics to the blogroll, they’ve also pulled in a few saner voices to say, “no, that’s finally a bridge too far for us”.

Sure, it’s probably only for self-preservation and admittedly, I haven’t read anything but the title. But why should I? That title is a proud declaration that the Birthers are maniacs who no longer are in the good graces of the conservative movement.

It’s really the little victories. Now let’s dive in to what is surely a refreshing little jaunt.

Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio has released his ten-page report on President Obama’s purported birth certificate

Wow!

I am even more impressed with this fine middle aged man. Not only is he calling out the Birthers, but he’s even turning on conservative hero Joe Arpaio, who has been much beloved for figuring out a way to reintroduce concentration camps to America by calling them prisons and ignoring any judge orders.

I must admit that takes stones for a dedicated conservative and while I’m sure he’ll get flak in the comments, I salute this stand. Man, reading this is really bringing the spring back in my st-

we are witnessing the predicted response of the establishment national news media:

Hey, sure it looks bad, but he could be setting up a denunciation on how Birthers have been welcomed on multiple shows to defend their reality-ignorant worldviews instead of being given the same cautious disregard that UFO conspiracy theorists are.

…maybe.

yawns, sighs, and laughter — but little reporting.

(Sniffle)

No, it’s okay. I just wanted to dream for a little bit…

I’ll…I’ll just get the tinfoil hat. It’s okay… (whimper)

I just need a second.

(sing sadly to self) Yesterday/ All my troubles seem so far away…(/sing sadly to self)

Okay, sigh, let me read the whole thing and come back with the shorter.

  • The fact that Obama disproved our loud racist temper tantrum with infinite grace and calm proves that we were right all along about the Time Travel Plot to Plant/Destroy his Birth Certificate.

So yeah, Joe Arpaio, on the list of people you constantly wonder why they’re not rotting in jail yet (along with luminaries like James O’Keefe and George Zimmerman) has apparently released a report that’s got the usual assortment of lunatics so excited that they can’t keep their hands out of their pants.

And lucky us, the dawning train-wreck that will be the 2012 election means that the Birthers are coming out of the woodwork in one giant explosion of disbelief that a mere 150 years after mean old Northerners helped set the slaves free, one of Them has managed to rise in accomplishment to become President of the United States.

And apparently American Thinker, much beloved humor mill that it is, has decided to go all in and join the solidarity movement with Wing Nut Daily.

Oh, happy day.

After the six-month investigation by a team of forensic experts, Joe Arpaio said there is “probable cause” to believe that forgery has been committed. Those are fairly strong words. Probable cause is the legal standard for arrest and forced production of documents.

Yes, probable cause, like the probable cause on Arpaio’s numerous, numerous proudly admitted felonies.

Also, love the emphasis on words. Yes, he made sure that said words weren’t actually followed up with any actual attempted filed warrant for arrest, cause whatever remaining synapses are working through that fascist’s brain, he knows that filing a false report on the President would get his corruption investigation finished all the quicker.

Jeff Kuhner of the Washington Times discusses the potential bombshell Obama scandal and the scandal of media silence in his piece, “Forgerygate: Ignoring Arpaio’s Report is a Scandal in Itself.” Kuhner argues that the reason for the media blackout is fear — fear of a constitutional crisis. If Obama attained the high office through deception, then everything has done as president would be subject to annulment.

Yeah, remember when we actually had an impeachment trial on Nixon for the deceptive way he rose to high office, all that evidence we had collected that had pretty much his entire cabinet resigning, getting impeached, or going to jail.

Remember how that erased everything Nixon had ever done as president? How we had to wind back all the congress-passed legislation, all the federal appointments were rescinded, the budgets were in disarray as all the money was asked for back, and we immediately had a redo of the 1972 election with a formal apology to George McGovern?

Yeah, that was a crazy time.

The blackout by the establishment conservative press is likely also fear-based.

FOX News is Lieberal Media!

Ah, Rupert Murdoch, you sold what remained of your soul and years off America and the World’s lifespan and now your creation turns at last on you. Hope it was fucking worth it.

The cowards of the conservative media fear the Saul Alinsky tactic of isolation and humiliation. The narrative has already been established: all questions regarding Obama’s eligibility have been debunked, and anyone who questions the president has a personal vendetta based in some sort of pathology. Better to play it safe and appear intelligent.

Is it too late to point out that the “new evidence” from Joe Arpaio is actually an 8 month old report with a random scrawl about stamps added on to it?

An 8 month report that someone already wrote a point-for-point debunking for, because when the fish climb out of the barrel and beg to be shot, sometimes you just gotta pull the trigger.

But no, I’m sure, just like with the incoming gynocracy, the Girl Scouts defense of the Milkman’s abortion factory, and Bill Ayers’s 40 year plot to pass moderate reform, but only if Republicans don’t complain too much, the laughter you receive is just proof that the conspiracy is bigger than you ever thought.

But history, when far removed from the Obama phenomenon, will not view the cowardly as intelligent or even wise.

Well, no, I imagine they’ll have little to say about the average fucking saps whose only real claim was just barely avoiding embracing the most fringe and untenable conspiracy theory.

No, you on the other hand?

Hoo boy, there’ll be books deconstructing that for fucking decades to come.

The reason is twofold. First, there are too many oddities with Obama.

First, he’s black. I mean, wake up sheeple, can’t you all see that the president is a ni-CLANG!

Hey, don’t be rude to Crazy Man Johnson.

And second, in context of the manifold oddities, the reasonable thing for Obama to do is end all doubt. If he had nothing to hide, wouldn’t Obama want to quickly remove doubts and restore confidence?

Remember this line later. It will be retroactively hilarious. Trust me.

The only way to end all doubt is complete transparency. Complete transparency means actually releasing personal records, including his birth certificate.

And then he did, and whatever momentum the Bought and Sold Media could give your little freakshow shriveled up and died like the bad fever dream it was.

Ah, good times.

Actually releasing his birth certificate means making the original available for forensic authentication. With today’s forensic technology, all doubt could be laid to rest quickly. We have the ability to determine whether the original document is written on paper from 1961 and with corresponding seal, typeset, and ink.

OHHHHHHH. Not content with the President of the United States having to show his Birth Certificate to the world so you could get your rocks off on the power trip, nor the numerous birth announcements that must have been planted by time-traveling Bill Ayers, nor all the family friends who remembered his birth, nor the fact that you haven’t yet produced a shred of evidence that he was born anywhere else, you want to get your grubby little mitts on the original vault-sealed special uber original only copy of the Birth Certificate that doesn’t exist for any citizen of Hawaii or else it doesn’t count.

Even if Hawaii filed them like that, why in Hell would they let any insane racist with a death wish against the guy hold onto the only existing copy of something they are trying to disprove even when they are staring the real thing in the face?

I mean, you wouldn’t do that… or would you?

Hmm, can I just hold onto your social security card, passport, and banking information for… verification purposes? I just want to make sure you are a… American citizen… cause otherwise your investigation might not hold up.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

No doubt was erased by Obama’s “releasing” a belated birth certificate via internet posting — the internet meets no legal standard of document production. Try showing an image of your birth certificate on your laptop to the processing agent when applying for a passport.

And if your mom’s basement were a court of law, then that might mean something. But seeing as how your little 3-ring circus started their freakout long after Obama had shown all requisite proof to all 50 states to meet their requirements to be on the Democratic Nomination ballot, one might be forgiven for thinking, maybe, just maybe the burden of proof wasn’t on him.

And he still managed to make you all collectively look like the amateur hour chumps you were.

It is necessary to highlight some of the unique Obama oddities. For if the oddities did not exist, the protective response — No other candidate or president released his birth certificate for authentication, so why should Obama? — would make perfect sense. But Obama is no ordinary American.

I told you to remember that paragraph.

Why doesn’t he just show his birth certificate to lay all fears to rest? What, he did? Well, um, it’s not good enough! Um, er… Because! And besides, why would he release his birth certificate if he had nothing to hide?!? Got you again, loony libs!

Many Obama supporters claim that racism is the only explanation for doubting the president. But I’ve noted before that no one doubted the eligibility of Jesse Jackson, Alan Keyes, Al Sharpton, or Herman Cain.

Yeah, it’s almost like there was something different about Barack Obama compared to the other guys. Some sort of competition or nomination or something that he won that made him much more likely to be a danger of being the President of the United States and thus a source of legitimate concern among the KKK remnants of our country.

If only I could think of what it was.

Kenyan media publications never claimed that Al Sharpton was born in Mombasa.

I remember what it was! It was a pie-eating contest. Yup, definitely.

But several have referred to Obama as “Kenyan-born.” That doesn’t mean it’s true, but it is a little strange nonetheless. The words of Obama’s paternal grandmother and Kenyan officials also don’t make any Kenyan-born allegations true — but they are peculiar in light of the Hawaii claim.

And yet said Kenyan officials with their long-form birth certificate secret vaults were unable to prevent such evidence from being erased by the Time Bandit’s Destructo-Beam, nor prevent any and all witnesses to Obama’s “birth” atop the Vile Altar of Mount Evil Bad from being murdered in suspicious circumstances, seconds before they would have contacted Jerome Corsi with the bullet-proof evidence he needed to crack the case once and for all.

Herman Cain’s wife never referred to Kenya as Herman’s “home country.” Maybe Michelle didn’t mean to say “home country.” But it’s a little odd that she did.

During his candidacy, no one doubted that Jesse Jackson was born in a house in South Carolina. Most candidates have living witnesses of their births. Obama had none (except his paternal grandmother).

Bet you thought the shorter couldn’t have been true. That not even this monkey cage of fuckwits would be that transparently stupid and vile as to use their own hateful vendetta as “proof” that Obama’s Birth Certificate couldn’t be real.

Well, dear readers, I’m here to say, there is no bottom. One day, a subject of this blog will literally devolve into nothing but a paramecium of hate ranting about something that would make all sentient life wish for the cold embrace of death rather than share a world with it and someone would just come along the next week and top it.

I guess, what I’m saying is Happy Easter, you fuckers.

The Daily Kos did not somehow get the sealed birth certificate of Alan Keyes and post it online during his campaign. Yet, mysteriously, somehow the liberal website posted Obama’s “birth certificate” in early 2008.

It’s almost like there was some gibbering band of fucknozzles tripping over the death of Obama’s grandmother to sell their bigoted and impossible “theory” and Obama and all people with functioning consciences had enough and decided they wanted to shut you up once and for all.

Nah, couldn’t be that. Must have been that darn time-traveling Ayers again making sure that his flawless plot had no holes in order to make a bunch of poop-throwing professional racists look like the complete tools they are.

And on a completely unrelated note, good job securing Arpaio on your side. Definitely decreases how much your team resembles a poorly run Klan meeting.

At least, we were told that it was Obama’s birth certificate. We were told for over three years that Hawaii had no other birth certificate. According to the fact-checking sites, the “long form” was a conservative myth which simply did not exist in the Hawaii archives. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs assured us that the “birth certificate” was “right there online.”

Because it was.

Where you could download it and pour over it for hours and hours ranting about kerning and how a fair universe wouldn’t let what might as well be an escaped slave be elected president.

And now here you are, weeping into your sippy cups, unable to let go of the train wreck your life has become and the sinking certainty that as much as you blame the niggers for it all, the only one truly to blame is your own damn self…

Oh yeah, and writing for American Thinker. Congratulations on that, by the way. I’m sure things will turn around any day now and Obama will apologize for giving you that drinking problem and forcing you to hit your wife and kids.

So it was a little strange when a long-form birth certificate appeared out of nowhere on April 27, 2011 — on the eve of Jerome Corsi’s Where’s the Birth Certificate? book release and in the midst of Donald Trump’s table-pounding campaign over the bizarre secrecy of Barack Hussein Obama II.

You mean, when Obama released the same birth certificate again when Donald Trump decided to torpedo 20 years of unearned public regard revealing himself to be a particularly gullible trained seal who was a failure in every walk of his life?

Yeah, what happened to that guy, anyways?

Oh right, erased from time by time-traveling Bill Ayers’s sniper squadrons killing all 4 of his biological grandparents.

Rest in Peace, Donald Trump (Never – Who’s He Again?)

Early on, news sources couldn’t even agree on which Honolulu hospital Obama was born in — because of conflicting reports. And to this day, Obama has not released Kapi’olani Medical Center to give a simple yea or nay.

Because of patient/doctor confidentiality? Because they’d rather not be swamped by an endless horde of wingnuts taking resources from helping actual patients so they can scower the halls looking for evidence that the rooms have been photoshopped? Because they probably don’t bother keeping those records this long, especially as they sent all relevant information to the State of Hawaii the instant the kid was born as is the case with pretty much all hospitals? Because wingnuts still seem to fail to get that the little certificate some middle-class hospitals give you to make you feel all special for having a child isn’t the same thing as a legal birth certificate and if they tried to submit it as proof for anything, they’d get a polite letter back asking for their real birth certificate?

And now I want to see the last one, cause I imagine it would be hilarious. Shame these are the type of fucknozzles that don’t like going to the next town, much less the next country, so they’ll probably never have need to use their birth certificate to demonstrate anything.

Then there’s the curious 2008 passport breach and the missing passport and travel records. Missing from the archives are the 1961 passport records of Obama’s mother, Stanley Dunham.

What ho, the lesser spotted Durham conspiracy theory. The one where she randomly flies to Kenya at 9 months pregnant and can’t get home in time, because maybe then, despite being an American citizen by virtue of his parent, they could try and argue that he’s not natural born, so no presidency, and Sister Sarah gets elected Supreme Empress for Life.

Let us just crouch in the bushes and watch this majestic creature.

And one of the probing discoveries of Sheriff Joe’s team is that also missing are INS records for “airline passengers arriving on international flights originating outside the United States” in 1961. But the only records missing in August, 1961 is the week “Aug. 1, 1961 through Aug. 7, 1961.”

And see here as it shits itself and uses its shit to form its nest.

Yes, one of the four records, supposedly, in a single month was missing (or at least not given to a guy with a habit of illegally detaining suspected “illegals” and working them to near death or actual death). Context about other months? That might reveal how much of a not story this is. All you need to know is that in that month, our nose-picking staff couldn’t find it.

So let’s see here, we’ve got Time Traveling Bill Ayers, the State of Hawaii, the election offices of each of the 50 states, the medical center itself, a large number of family friends, the INS, the Kenyan government, the airline company that sold the ticket, the passport office, the newspaper companies at the time, all long before Obama had even thought about politics joining together to plant/erase all this evidence so that they could have a moderate black man as president and all managing a perfect conspiracy with no holes from which these brave men can use their god-like powers of deduction to find anything other than vague conjecture and suspicion after 4 wasted years of constant effort making themselves the laughing stocks of a nation.

Oh, yeah, and they managed to assassinate Breitbart and erase anyone who knew of his murders in Indonesia as well.

And you know that this is all true and this conspiracy is this big because of how little you’ve found.

He goes on for awhile more, about why we must discount all the evidence in Hawaii, but frankly, they just need to either come out and say that they don’t think any black can ever be a legitimate citizen or that they think he’s the Antichrist and that Satan is the one creating these perfect dinosaur bones to test our faith. Cause it’s the bullshit that’s the hardest part to wade.

So, now, the “highlights” of what remains:

It is not unreasonable to “trust, but verify,” or even to raise an eyebrow and verify. Mr. Obama apparently has something to hide. I tend to think that Stanley Ann Dunham wouldn’t have flown to Kenya so late in her pregnancy — but personal opinions are irrelevant. I don’t care that Anderson Cooper believes that Obama was born in Hawaii. I don’t care that a large percentage of Americans believe he was born in Kenya. This constitutional issue should be about not faith, but irrefutable evidence. And, the burden of proof is not on the people — it is squarely on Obama.

We don’t have to prove that he was born elsewhere! Obama has to prove that he was born here. What he did?!? Enough to demonstrate to all the election officials that he was a natural born citizen and going additional steps further regularly publicizing his publicly available birth certificate? Well, we don’t need to prove anything because, er… MOMEEEE! THEY’RE TRYING TO MAKE US DO REAL WORK! MAKE THEM STOP!

Also, I guess if you can get a small group of delusionals together, then that means you swamp the majority who are sane. Yes, I don’t care that Stephen Hawkings doesn’t think that aliens visit our planet to anally probe sexually repressed farmers, a large number of people believe it happens and it’s even more than the people who believe the president is born in Kenya! So Hawkings needs to devote his entire life to proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that its never happened and if he does, well, it doesn’t count, because reasons!

Another basis for the conservative establishment’s fear is the idea that maybe Obama is setting the “birthers” up. Maybe Obama wants to draw as many conservatives as possible into the “silly” eligibility issue. And then, at the right time, he will really “release” his original 1961 birth certificate for authentication. Boy, those “birthers” are going to have egg on their face. Those on the record as having questioned Obama will be discredited forever. Obama will win in a landslide.

You mean, like he did in 2008 and again in 2011 to sink Donald Trump’s career as conservative kingmaker so fast that Trump still doesn’t know what hit him?

And I don’t think it counts as setting up if you’re just watching your enemies trip and fall on their own faces all on their own.

Balderdash. Even if he does have an original, balderdash.

We do not have to fear a constitutional crisis. As adults, we can handle it. We do not have to fear name-calling. We do not have to fear that Obama has an authentic birth certificate but is playing political games.

We need to reorient our thinking on this issue — especially on fear number three, that Obama is setting skeptics up for humiliation.

No one should be humiliated but Obama. If he is playing games, what kind of person is he?

If Obama really had an authentic birth certificate all along, why did he allow Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin to suffer the pain of imprisonment in Ft. Leavenworth for six months? What kind of human being would allow Lakin to be unnecessarily imprisoned? Only to suddenly “release” the alleged document that Lakin had requested — at the end of Lakin’s prison term.

The profound and cold-hearted treatment of Officer Lakin alone should disqualify Obama from re-election. The fear should be not in the people, but rather in Obama himself.

Yeah, if he points out that we’re fucking idiots who can’t manage to figure out what publicly available means, then he’s a meanyhead meanieperson and can be impeached under Section A Article IV of making us look stupid which means no black president, Sister Sarah forever, Nyah!

Also, the fact that we got a few idiot REMFs to torpedo their military careers breaking the law and getting themselves court martialed for not following orders because they wanted to claim that taking orders from a black man is illegitimate anti-freedom, is also his fault for not…

Stopping them being idiots? Preventing them from torpedoing their own careers and freedom over something obviously, painfully untrue?

What’s that, conservatives? Is that the Personal Responsibility Fairy come to tell us that its not liberal’s responsibility that when you go out of the house, your shirt is tucked in and your pants aren’t covered in poopie?

Well, that certainly sounds like commie talk to me. WOLVERINES!

137 Comments »

  1. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:14

    one of Them has managed to rise in accomplishment to become President of the United States.

    I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

  2. smilingdog said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:15

    “Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio has released his ten-page report on President Obama’s purported birth certificate.”

    Wow, ten pages! Kind of reminds me of a high school report where it has to be ten whole pages and you increase the spacing and throw in a little plagiarized stuff from the encyclopedia to stretch it out.

  3. g said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:16

    So a guy who’s not an officer of the court, whose “forensic experts” had no actual contact with the “evidence,” whose jurisdiction is limited to a single county in a state that has nothing to do with the issue, has come to a legal conclusion despite the fact that he’s not authorized to do so.

    Mmmkay.

  4. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:24

    Wow, ten pages! Kind of reminds me of a high school report where it has to be ten whole pages and you increase the spacing and throw in a little plagiarized stuff from the encyclopedia to stretch it out.

    I’m Sheriff Joe also set the line spacing to 2-1/2 times.

  5. Bitter Scribe said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:26

    From the comments:

    Get the usurper, his accursed Czars, illegitimate court appointees, cabinet officers, Federal Reserve lackeys, OUT– NOW!
    (removed)

    What is that “(removed)” supposed to be? Censorship? Or wishful thinking?

  6. Bitter Scribe said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:29

    Another comment:

    But we DO have Alan Keyes, Ed Noonan, John Dummett, Laurie Roth, Cody Allen Judy, Leah Lax (all current Presidential candidates) who openly Challenge the usurper.

    Leah Lax? THE Leah Lax??

  7. Another Kiwi said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:39

    What about Lucy Lastic?

  8. J Neo Marvin said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:42

    My head hurts.

  9. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:42

    Leah Lax

    I thought Superman had taken care of him.

    Also, my previous idiocy was missing a “sure”.

  10. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:47

    I’m always tempted to go over to the comment sections of these sites and just start spewing out racial slurs about Obama. I’d like to see if these people would totally go for it, or if they’re aware enough to realise racism without dogwhistles is a wee bit gauche.

  11. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:49

    I’m Sheriff Joe

    He admits it! I suspected that N__B‘s “I’m an engineer living in New York” was nothing but a cover story…
    ~

  12. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:50

    Also, why did the international conspiracy choose to, in the 1960s, start planning for a black, foreign born kid named Barack Obama to be their Trojan Horse POTUS? Surely there were a few 3rd generation white kids named Steve Johnson around?

  13. Another Kiwi said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:53

    Double head fake Spearhafoc. If they had chosen ,say, Brian Watson Jr. it would have been too normal, Manchurian almost…

  14. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:57

    These fuckers are hilarious.
    .

  15. merl said,

    March 25, 2012 at 21:58

    did he really say balderdash?

  16. merl said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:00

    Lakin went to prison for disobeying a lawful order, he had no right to ask for a birth certificate in the first place so Obama releasing it had no bearing on the case.

  17. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:02

    He admits it! I suspected that N__B‘s “I’m an engineer living in New York” was nothing but a cover story…

    It’s a nefarious scheme for world domination that begins with getting Mini__B to not throw food on the floor.

  18. Chris said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:05

    Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio has released his ten-page report on President Obama’s purported birth certificate…

    … we can be certain that he’s under investigation by the Justice Department and really wants people to be paying attention to something other than that less-than-glamorous fact.

  19. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:07

    Why does that shit always remind of this?

  20. Major Kong said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:08

    Doesn’t this guy have, you know, Sheriffing to do? He seems to spend all his time trying to inject himself into national politics.

    How many currently-serving county Sheriff’s can you even name? I’d be hard pressed to name the one for Franklin County, where I live.

  21. Smut Clyde said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:12

    Those are fairly strong words. Probable cause is the legal standard for arrest and forced production of documents.

    That’s your basic belief in the magical power of words. The last letter of the name has been uttered. THE INCANTATION HAS BEEN SPOKEN. A corrupt local sheriff used the Formula so his claims become the unassailable truth.

    the Saul Alinsky tactic of isolation and humiliation.
    Goodness me. Are there any tactics that Saul Alinsky didn’t use? … I suspect that “Rules for Radicals” were written for people who were not in a position to “isolate and humiliate”.

    The words “Saul Alinsky” is just a meaningless sequence of syllables for these loons, a sequence they have read elsewhere and know they must dutifully repeat to prove their credentials and commitment. It might as well be “Emmanuel Goldstein”. No association is intended to the historical Alinsky or any tactics he advocated.

  22. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:12

    How many currently-serving county Sheriff’s can you even name?

    Sharif, Omar is a figure of terror among the wingnuts. He’s all Mooslimy and, per their understanding of Dr.Zhivago, a commie.

  23. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:14

    Are there any tactics that Saul Alinsky didn’t use?

    I have never heard the suicide squeeze referred to as an Alinskyite tactic.

  24. Smut Clyde said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:15

    did he really say balderdash?
    Consult BBBB for baldestdash in the pure form.

  25. Davis said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:16

    I don’t care that Anderson Cooper believes that Obama was born in Hawaii. I don’t care that a large percentage of Americans believe he was born in Kenya.

    OK, how about the head of Vital Statistics in Hawaii, who said that the certificate is valid? Does his opinion count?

  26. Smut Clyde said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:20

    I have never heard the suicide squeeze referred to as an Alinskyite tactic.

    Queen’s bishop pawn to c5 is AN ALINSKYITE TACTIC.

  27. Fenwick said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:21

    Bet you thought the shorter couldn’t have been true.

    Not me! I always Trust The Shorter. This one was elegant.

  28. tigris said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:23

    Missing from the archives are the 1961 passport records of Obama’s mother, Stanley Dunham.

    I did not know the passport office kept records of all the times people didn’t travel out of the country!

  29. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:26

    Queen’s bishop pawn to c5 is AN ALINSKYITE TACTIC.

    The Chicoms use queen’s bishop prawns.

  30. paleotectonics said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:29

    I did not know the passport office kept records of all the times people didn’t travel out of the country!

    Holy shit, I haven’t traveled out of the country for several years – am I under suspicion? I never even met the Duke of Clarence!!!

  31. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:30

    I never even met the Duke of Clarence!!!

    Mary Kelly was an unusually determined suicide.

  32. Fenwick said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:31

    Joe Arpaio, on the list of people you constantly wonder why they’re not rotting in jail yet (along with luminaries like James O’Keefe and George Zimmerman)

    I wonder about Cheney, The Chimp, Rumsfeld, Tenet, Gonzales, Addington, Yoo, Bybee, Feith, Wolfowitz, and the rest of the crew.

  33. paleotectonics said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:31

    The ChiSzechuancoms use queen’s bishop General Tzo’s prawns.

    Fisted for moar lunchtime.

  34. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:32

    To my fellow Soviet Canuckistaners on Sadly, No!, it looks like the Conservatives are going to reopen the abortion debate (after Harper specifically promised not to do so during the last election).

  35. tigris said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:33

    Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio has released his ten-page report on President Obama’s purported birth certificate…

    Comic Sans?

    Are there any tactics that Saul Alinsky didn’t use?

    He totally wrote the book on demanding REAL birth certificates, kindergarten transcripts and full and complete passport records for homebodies, the Rulebook for Registries.

  36. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:34

    Queen’s bishop pawn to c5 is AN ALINSKYITE TACTIC.

    1. c4 is my standard opening.
    ~

  37. paleotectonics said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:35

    I wonder about Cheney, The Chimp, Rumsfeld, Tenet, Gonzales, Addington, Yoo, Bybee, Feith, Wolfowitz, and the rest of the crew.

    No need to wonder about Cheney. His last organic boy part, the laser-beam eyes, is being engineered as we speak, and he shall soon declare himself Vice-President Triumphant!

    Followed by an invasion of everywhere else and a light lunch.

  38. paleotectonics said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:36

    That’s, ummm, body part.

    Please shoot me now.

  39. wiley said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:38

    Was wondering what kind of information was on a “long form” birth certificate. Was thinking that the word “long” only meant a little longer than the other, which is still a pretty short form.

    Did a search, found this

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/04/27/president-obamas-long-form-birth-certificate

    It has the race, place of birth, ages, and occupations of the parents. The name and address of the hospital. There really isn’t a whole lot for a state to say about someone who was just born.

  40. Fenwick said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:40

    I have never heard the suicide squeeze referred to as an Alinskyite tactic.

    That was Soros. Alinsky invented the safety squeeze.

  41. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:42

    Band name: Cheney’s Boy Parts

  42. N__B said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:44

    There really isn’t a whole lot for a state to say about someone who was just born.

    “I can’t put my finger on it, but I just don’t trust that baby.”

  43. Smut Clyde said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:49

    What’s this I hear about chaining boy parts?
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/21542477@N08/6869150486/in/photostream

  44. Nym said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:50

    I suspect that “Rules for Radicals” were written for people who were not in a position to “isolate and humiliate”.

    I actually picked up a copy of this in a local thrift store a while back. Haven’t cracked it open yet (it doesn’t exactly scream “fun” the way Destroy All Movies! A History of Punks in Cinema does), but if anyone cares I could read it and report back.

  45. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:53

    Sharif, Omar is a figure of terror among the wingnuts. He’s all Mooslimy and, per their understanding of Dr.Zhivago, a commie.

    Omar Sharif Jr. – his grandkid, don’t know that works – is GAY. And half Jewish. And Mooslimy. It’s true, you can google it.

    He’s pretty hot, too also. Definitely a gaybro.

  46. paleotectonics said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:54

    “I can’t put my finger on it, but I just don’t trust that baby.”

    Well, that’s no ordinary baby. That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered infant you ever set eyes on. Look, that baby’s got a vicious streak a mile wide; it’s a killer!

    (Wins the White House)

    I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn’t you? Oh, it’s just a harmless little baby, isn’t it? Well, it’s always the same. I always tell them–

  47. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    March 25, 2012 at 22:56

    I wonder about Cheney, The Chimp, Rumsfeld, Tenet, Gonzales, Addington, Yoo, Bybee, Feith, Wolfowitz, and the rest of the crew.

    FBI / DOJ investigations–much less indictment or prosecution–were taken off the table in the second month of the Obama administration. Congressional investigations of war crimes were taken off the table by the Democratic leadership in both houses (over which they had overwhelming control).

    Vote for Leprosy. It’s better than Plague !

  48. Wyatt Watts III said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:01

    Leah Lax? THE Leah Lax??

    Leah Lax should do a concert like Liza Minnelli titled Leah Lax with an X.

  49. Comrade Fenwick said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:03

    Mr. Chairman, I am not now–or have ever been–a card-carrying member of Guerilla Voters Cadre 18.

  50. Matt said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:10

    “If Obama really had an authentic birth certificate all along, why did he allow Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin to suffer the pain of imprisonment in Ft. Leavenworth for six months? What kind of human being would allow Lakin to be unnecessarily imprisoned?”

    A sensible one – a treasonous assclown like Lakin is a threat to order and discipline in the military; though I fail to see how it’s “unnecessary”, given that said assclown freely admitting defying a lawful order…

  51. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:12

    Great post! The birthers are always good for a laugh, and this fisking gave me many – thanks!

  52. Fenwick said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:12

    He’s all Mooslimy and, per their understanding of Dr.Zhivago, a commie.

    Almost as bad: Omar Sharif is a A-rab Terra-ist in Lawrence of Arabia

    It was so cool to see this elderly, frail man speaking in support of the people in Tahrir Square.

  53. Fenwick said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:15

    Matt: Bullseye, bro.

  54. wiley said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:29

    N_B, angryblacklady has some book chats about “rules for radicals”.

    http://angryblacklady.com/2012/01/28/rules-for-radicals-the-prologue-angry-black-book-chat/

  55. wiley said,

    March 25, 2012 at 23:31

    OOPS. Sorry that last post should have been addressed to NYM. I am getting stupider each day. It’s a bitch. Really.

  56. gocart mozart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 1:13

    Reposted from last thread because its so full of win and also “Shut up that’s why.”
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/25/1076618/-When-men-were-free?showAll=yes
    WHEN MEN WERE FREE.

    “Tell us a story, Grandpa Santorum,” several of the children said together. It was cold, and from the front of the concrete bunker, there was a low whistle as the wind pushed through the gaps around the old wooden door. “Tell us a story again, from the before-times.”

  57. Dhalgren said,

    March 26, 2012 at 1:36

    “So, now, the “highlights” of what remains:”

    Cerberus, I love your long, lawyerly, scolarly posts. Easily the longest posts since Gavin. But you have to admit that line, 90% through a 30 minute read, is pretty funny.

  58. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:17

    If Obama attained the high office through deception, then everything has done as president would be subject to annulment.

    That’s a pretty important fantasy to have if people in your party aren’t honestly willing to fuck their constituents in an exceedingly obvious taking-away-the-health-care-and-birth-control way. Sure, loons are loons but I figure there are still a few politicians in the GOP.

    Also: how do you unbankbailout?

  59. kg said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:18

    May gave heard it here and apologies if so but check out decorah eagles on ustream. Babbes fin to hatch soon

  60. gocart mozart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:19

    Bin Laden will have to be re-animated.

  61. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:24

    Milk braised pork shoulder. Season the dry roast – which you NOT trimmed of so called “excess fat” whatever the fuck that might mean, I mean really! – with salt and pepper. Brown on all sides in oil. Olive oil works well here since you’re not doing any high temp shit. Now what did I just say? I said brown it goddamn it! I did not say gray it, I did not say put a little color on it. I said BROWN It and I fucking mean BROWN it bitchez. When it has a lovely BROWN crust ALL OVER you may proceed. NOT ONE FUCKING SECOND BEFORE YOU GOT THAT YOU FUCKING FUCK? I trust you have done this in a heavy bottom pot of some sort. I am using my Dutch oven. Why we call those things Dutch ovens I don’t know – if only there was some way to easily and rapidly find the answer!

    Anyway, you can do this extremely simply, as Marcella suggests, but I like to riff on the basic, gild the lily kind of thing, y’know? So at a minimum you dump a couple cups of milk in there. Nota Bene: I said “milk.”. I did not say “skim milk” nor did I say “low fat milk.” I said “milk” so you better fucking well use milk, not one of those milk based processed beverage product things. I just tossed in a bunch of peeled garlic and some thyme sprigs. You don’t have to do that. Cover and pop that sucker into a 350 Fairyhype oven. For three, four hours. Oh sure, you could just do it on the stovetop, that’s just the way I roll.

    Got some root veggies which I think I’ll roast as an accompaniment. Maybe a simple salad. Some fresh baked crufty bread. I’ll let you know later when I’ve decided. And if the gin doesn’t get in the way.

  62. gocart mozart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:27

    “Yep. There were a bunch of folks before then that proposed people maybe ought to get better healthcare, good solid Christian people, but nobody ever actually acted on it. They all knew that’d be stupid. But then here comes this Obama fellow, and BOOM! Slightly better health insurance for some people. Kinda, anyway. You can’t imagine, children, how terrifying it was. I heard tell people maybe started living slightly longer after that, even in states that didn’t give a damn whether or not they lived longer. Kids with preexisting conditions got insurance, even though God clearly didn’t want them to have insurance, otherwise he wouldn’t have given ‘em a preexisting condition, now would he? No, it was a frightening time, a frightening time.”

  63. gocart mozart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:31

    “Then all Hell broke loose. They started letting gay folks get married. Same legal rights, even the same word, and we all know that the word of something is pretty much the only thing that matters. Can you imagine what happened next? Now why would a man get married to a woman if they could choose to just skip all that and marry another man? It was a mess. Why, I’m ashamed to say I myself turned gay for about 10 years, after that. Don’t know how it happened exactly, but the minute they started having gay weddings, it was like the Devil himself was egging me into that beautiful white dress.”

  64. g said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:39

    We’re marooned indoors by a rain storm, so it’s a simple meal from whatever’s in the fridge and pantry.

    Tuna noodle casserole. Sauteed a mixture of chopped onion, celery, bell pepper, pancetta and mushrooms until golden. Remove from the heat and reserve in a bowl. Flake in a drained can of tuna.

    make a bechamel with butter, flour and a mixture of the juice from the can of tuna and milk. Add the end of a chunk of cheddar cheese.

    Cook some whole wheat rotini. Mix the pasta and the tuna mixture in a casserole dish, then pour the bechamel over and mix well. Sprinkle the top with bread crumbs and dot with butter, bake at 350 for 45 mintues.

  65. N__B said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:41

    Bin Laden will have to be re-animated.

    HA! As if THE USURPER ever actually gave a kill order on his spiritual father. (Bill Ayers, of course, being his spiritual mother.)

  66. paleotectonics said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:42

    Drool.

  67. paleotectonics said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:43

    “Well, then who’s my father?”

    “The bishop!”

  68. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 2:59

    “We don’t recognize same-sex marriages,” Jacobs said in an interview.
    The reason, he said, isn’t political; it’s economic. He wouldn’t bar Michelle and her family or any other family from joining the pool. But Jacobs says if he gives the discount to Gladfelter, he’d have to extend it to grandparents, cousins — you name it.
    Jacobs said marriage itself isn’t a factor.
    A heterosexual couple, regardless of whether they’re married, would be granted the discount. “I have to draw the line somewhere,” he said.

    “Really, I’m not against gays. And if you say I am then YOU ARE THE REAL BIGOT!”

    http://www.ydr.com/ci_20247997/same-sex-couple-denied-family-discount-claims-discrimination?source

  69. vacuumslayer said,

    March 26, 2012 at 3:06

    The Dick Cheney jokes unthread made me literally LOL, as the kids who won’t get off my lawn say.

    So, well done, all you Dick-jokers.

  70. vacuumslayer said,

    March 26, 2012 at 3:08

    Tonight I made ratatouille with sausage. At the end I stirred in some homemade pesto and little splash of balsamic vinegar. Unbelievable.

  71. tigris said,

    March 26, 2012 at 3:35

    But Jacobs says if he gives the discount to Gladfelter, he’d have to extend it to grandparents, cousins — you name it.

    OHNOES and then the world would end! Or maybe you’d make a couple bucks less, or maybe not, as the pool’s incremental cost for granny bringing the kids is pretty much zero. Hell, you may even make more money in concession sales. Of course, the fact that you would give it to an unmarried het couple when you could easily charge them more proves the economic angle is bullshit, so quit working it. So, you could be honest and either a. do it by household no matter who’s in it or b. require a marriage.

  72. Nym said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:01

    Why we call those things Dutch ovens I don’t know – if only there was some way to easily and rapidly find the answer!

    I know you were being cheeky, but heck, it made me wonder if there was an actual answer that didn’t involve farts– and there is:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_oven#Early_European_history

  73. Nym said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:03

    (I was also surprised to find that it wasn’t a backhanded insult against the Dutch, the way phrases like “Dutch uncle” or “Dutch treat” were.)

  74. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:24

    smilingdog said,
    March 25, 2012 at 21:15

    “Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio has released his ten-page report on President Obama’s purported birth certificate.”
    Wow, ten pages! Kind of reminds me of a high school report where it has to be ten whole pages and you increase the spacing and throw in a little plagiarized stuff from the encyclopedia to stretch it out.

    “There are those…

    who say…

    that…

    the literature…

    of the Middle Ages…

    was moooooooooooribund…..”

  75. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:30

    “There are those…

    who say…

    that…

    the literature…

    of the Middle Ages…

    was moooooooooooribund…..”

    Webster’s Dictionary defines “Middle Ages” as, “the period of European history from about a.d. 500 to about 1500″. There was a lot of literature produced during this period. Among the literature of the Middle Ages are…

  76. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:32

    Seriously, these birther nuts…any guesses what percentage of them are also forced-birth activists? Yeah, I agree. Given that, it’s pretty pathetic that they don’t know the story behind the “Certificate of Live Birth” and won’t accept it in place of the purely ceremonial “Birth Certificate”.

    In the Good Old Days™ they want to take us back to, whenever a woman was known to be pregnant, there had to be some government-noted outcome recorded, either a certificate of live birth if the child was born at the end, or some doctor-approved certificate that it was a legit miscarriage. Absent either, the suspicion existed that the pregnancy was terminated illegally.

    After Roe v. Wade, you would think that certificates of live birth would no longer be necessary, and for sure the other kind have so fallen into desuetude that I don’t even know what they were called. But it’s kind of disingenuous of the RWAs not to accept the kind of certificate their panty-sniffing made obligatory.

  77. jim said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:45

    BIRTHERMANIA!

    “We’re bigger than Reagan (PBUH)!”

    Jerome Corsi = The Shy One?
    Donald Trump = The Cute One?
    Orly Taitz = The Crazy One?
    Sheriff Joe = The Funny One?

  78. EnfantTerrible said,

    March 26, 2012 at 4:55

    For tonight’s dinner, I improvised a hot dish of chicken and wild rice, with a sauce of yogurt, chutney and lemon juice. Threw in some raisins, almonds and curry. Delicious, and it paired well with this birther post.

  79. Golem Heart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:17

    “If Obama really had an authentic birth certificate all along, why did he allow Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin to suffer the pain of imprisonment in Ft. Leavenworth for six months? What kind of human being would allow Lakin to be unnecessarily imprisoned?”

    You may have wondered why Terrence Lakin won’t stop hitting himself. You’re asking the wrong question, because Obama’s got ahold of Lakin’s arm at the wrist and is doing the hitting. Better to ask why Obama is doing that. It’s beneath the office.

  80. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:22

    Better to ask why Obama is doing that. It’s beneath the office.

    Obama is actually Lakin’s older brother?

  81. Golem Heart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:31

    His “Big Brother,” so to speak.

  82. tensor said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:36

    If Obama attained the high office through deception, then everything has done as president would be subject to annulment.

    If we can show that, in 2000, The Heartless One/Drunken Puppet received fewer votes in Florida than did Gore/Loserman, tens of thousands of dead Iraqi children will suddenly return to life?

  83. N__B said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:36

    Beneath the Orifice could be the name of Subby’s memoir.

  84. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:37

    Yes, Golem Heart, Obama is literally Hitler.

  85. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:38

    So, Obama locked him into a house where he’s continuously watched by TV cameras and face eviction votes by fellow housemates?

    Wait is Obama really Julie Chen in disguise?

  86. Spearhafoc, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:50

    I love it when wingnuts quote 1984. You do realise that it was written by a self-described socialist, right?

  87. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 5:59

    Wait, I thought it was a how-to manual.

    *re-evaluating whole life plan*

  88. Smut Clyde said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:01

    Does anyone else share my sadness that Viscount Monckton, adding forensic document examination to his list of self-assigned qualifications, has embraced Birtherism? Now he will lose his hard-earned credibility and the news media will no longer cover his pronouncements.

  89. Smut Clyde said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:02

    the other kind have so fallen into desuetude
    I fell into desuetude once. It took ages to get the stains out of my trousers.

  90. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:07

    You know, I used to think Hawaii was a state, but then some old British dude questioned Obama’s birth certificate and now, I think Vince Foster was murdered by the Clintons.

  91. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:32

    It was mostly dead when I got here and, while I didn’t call the paramedics, I gave it mouth to mouth, and nothing. Its not my fault, I’m new here and, as a consequence, my CPR skills are somewhat lacking. I tried damn it, oh how I tried.

  92. tensor said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:37

    … I think Vince Foster was murdered by the Clintons.

    NEED MOAR ILLUMINATI

  93. Golem Heart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:38

    This thread ain’t dead, N.-E. Patricia, it’s just drifting off to sleep.

  94. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:43

    tensor, I was so blinded by the injustice of the Clintons killing Vince Foster (may he rest in peace), I completely forgot about the Illuminati.

    Golem Heart, the difference being?

  95. Spearhafoc, who is literally Hitler said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:46

    Well folks, we’ve had a lot of fun tonight, but I’m here to talk about something that’s not funny: Two and a Half Men.

  96. Snorghagen said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:47

    Does anyone else share my sadness that Viscount Monckton, adding forensic document examination to his list of self-assigned qualifications, has embraced Birtherism?

    Viscount Monckton and Sheriff Joe, together at last.

  97. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 6:53

    Well folks, we’ve had a lot of fun tonight, but I’m here to talk about something that’s not funny: Two and a Half Men.

    Now I’m just depressed. Like Charlie Sheen was ever funny after Cadence, but really he was hilarious compared to Mr. Demi Moore.

  98. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 7:03

    Beneath the Orifice could be the name of Subby’s memoir.

    Is the presumption here that I can’t make it to high orifice? JUST WATCH ME.

  99. Non-Existent Patricia said,

    March 26, 2012 at 7:05

    Is the presumption here that I can’t make it to high orifice? JUST WATCH ME.

    DO NOT WANT.

  100. Snorghagen said,

    March 26, 2012 at 7:45

    Is the presumption here that I can’t make it to high orifice? JUST WATCH ME.

    Are you seeking erection to high orifice? Are you eager to begin a career of pubic service?

  101. Another Kiwi said,

    March 26, 2012 at 9:48

    Sheriff Joe had nowhere to go,
    he called casting central
    who said they had someone mental,
    some one who was easily bored
    and thought he was lord.
    “He’ll do” said Sheriff Joe,
    alls I really need to know is,
    has his mother ever whored?

  102. Smut Clyde said,

    March 26, 2012 at 11:17

    Is the presumption here that I can’t make it to high orifice? JUST WATCH ME.

    Springboard? Trebuchet? I am agog.
    I would be Magog if only I could buy an M.

  103. N__B said,

    March 26, 2012 at 12:07

    Hey Joe
    Where you going with that mike in your hand?
    Going down to hold a press conference
    The president was born in Kenya, man

  104. Drew said,

    March 26, 2012 at 12:35

    “Bill Ayers’s 40 year plot to pass moderate reform, but only if Republicans don’t complain too much”

    Unreal line.

    Congrats.

  105. paleotectonics said,

    March 26, 2012 at 14:47

    Hey Joe
    Where you going with that mike in your hand?
    Going down to hold a press conference
    The president was born in Kenya, man

    Ah hey, Joe!
    I heard you shot the birth certificate down, kerned it down now

  106. Fenwick said,

    March 26, 2012 at 14:50

    “And second, in context of the manifold oddities, the reasonable thing for Obama to do is end all doubt pull the engine.”

    Fixxored for more automotiveness.

    *pulling the engine*

  107. paleotectonics said,

    March 26, 2012 at 14:52

    @Fenwick

    *gapping the plugs*?

  108. Fenwick said,

    March 26, 2012 at 15:07

    Tuning the carb

  109. Fenwick said,

    March 26, 2012 at 15:08

    Checking the dipstick

  110. Golem Heart said,

    March 26, 2012 at 15:22

    “Golem Heart, the difference being?”

    You’ll know the difference between dying and falling asleep when somebody blows in your mouth and pounds on your chest after your nightly cup of Sleepytime tea. It is a significant difference.

    I’m just glad you didn’t call the paramedics on this thread. Ambulances are expensive. Why, this thread could live to be 800.

  111. N__B said,

    March 26, 2012 at 15:48

    You’ll know the difference between dying and falling asleep when somebody blows in your mouth and pounds on your chest after your nightly cup of Sleepytime tea.

    That’s not included in the price for around the world, so you have to leave extra on the dresser.

  112. Fenwick said,

    March 26, 2012 at 16:04

    Cruise ships are full of berthers.

  113. That Girl said,

    March 26, 2012 at 16:15

    … all questions regarding Obama’s eligibility have been debunked, and anyone who questions the president has a personal vendetta based in some sort of pathology.

    It’s as if his subconscious is trying to tell him something…

  114. actor212 said,

    March 26, 2012 at 16:26

    Cruise ships are full of berthers.

    So are the Butt Sisters.

  115. actor212 said,

    March 26, 2012 at 16:28

    I gave it mouth to mouth, and nothing.

    You have to blow into the “special valve”…

  116. N__B said,

    March 26, 2012 at 17:47

    It’s as if his subconscious is trying to tell him something…

    There are none so deaf as those who cannot hear because they have their hands over their ears and are yelling “I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”

  117. jim said,

    March 26, 2012 at 18:33

    NEED MOAR ILLUMINATI

    Oh man … I’ve got a hunch that Adam Weishaupt came up with that as a lark & accidentally the best spontaneous trolling EVAR ensued.

    “I am The Apple Of Eris, & I approve this fnord.”

  118. Helmut Monotreme said,

    March 26, 2012 at 18:40

    Speaking of apples of discord, I got to talking with my cousin this weekend, and we started taking about the apple trees on his farm. The unharvested apple trees, left over from when my grandfather had an orchard. The apple trees that left virtually, untended for twenty years, are still carpeting the the orchard in apples every fall. And we spoke of grandpa’s old cider press, and the root cellar in his old house perfect for the lower temperatures cider likes for fermentation. I think it’s going to be a good fall.

  119. N__B said,

    March 26, 2012 at 18:53

    The unharvested apple trees, left over from when my grandfather had an orchard. The apple trees that left virtually, untended for twenty years, are still carpeting the the orchard in apples every fall. And we spoke of grandpa’s old cider press, and the root cellar in his old house perfect for the lower temperatures cider likes for fermentation.

    The press, unused since the farmhand – what was his name again? – disappeared without a trace. The cellar, the cool depths of which grandpa suddenly forbade us to enter.

    I think it’s going to be a good fall.

    For Steven King.

  120. jim said,

    March 26, 2012 at 18:58

    WARNING: Comment may contain CEO P0RN0.

  121. Marion in Savannah said,

    March 26, 2012 at 19:32

    PupMax, I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for your recipes. You have a real knack for ‘splaining stuff, like what browning meat really means! (Plus, drooling and all happens when reading them…)

  122. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 26, 2012 at 19:40

    N_B, King probably has already typed up a thousand page manuscript on The Orchard Horror

  123. paleotectonics said,

    March 26, 2012 at 19:41

    Been a fun thread and all, but gotta dash – small road trip.

  124. Thread Bear said,

    March 26, 2012 at 20:02

    Zombie Tools – I thought it would be like a Dremmel especially designed for zrm.

  125. Pryme said,

    March 26, 2012 at 20:04

    Bill Ayers also changed Santorum’s campaign ad: http://thinkprogress.org/security/2012/03/26/451857/santorum-obama-sworn-american-enemy/.

  126. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 20:25

    If the government cannot supply freaks on the local level, how is the federal government going to adequately provide for the x-raying pancreatic juice needs of 300 million people?

  127. jim said,

    March 26, 2012 at 20:47

    Shorter Santorum staffer: “Jump-cuts were made.”

    Also: LOL REVERSIONS

  128. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 21:44

    Headlines like this are still funny.

    NOT ON THE WAFFLES.

  129. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 22:24

    First they came for the ceratosaurs, and I did not speak out because I was not a ceratosaur;
    Then they came for the death masters, and I did not speak out because I was not a death master;
    Then they came for the constrictor snakes, and I did not speak out because I was not a constrictor snake;
    Then they came for the dracoliches, and I did not speak out because I was not a dracolich;
    Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.

  130. paleotectonics said,

    March 26, 2012 at 22:47

    First they came for the ceratosaurs,

    NEEDS MOAR SHAMBLING MOUND.

  131. Helmut Monotreme said,

    March 26, 2012 at 22:53

    No one came for the flumphs, because, seriously, flumphs?

  132. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:01

    First they came for George H.W. Bush, and I did not speak out because I was not a big government liberal;
    Then they came for George W. Bush, and I did not speak out because I was not a big government liberal;
    Then they came for John McCain, and I did not speak out because I was not a big government liberal;
    Then they came for Mitt Romney, and I did not speak out because I was not a big government liberal;
    And here I am.

  133. Cerberus said,

    March 26, 2012 at 23:10

    New post.

  134. Sir Craig said,

    March 27, 2012 at 23:51

    From the top of the “Thinkers” comments section:

    The site has blocked you from posting new comments.

    I must be doing something right.

  135. My Sharia Moor said,

    March 29, 2012 at 12:41

    The words “Saul Alinsky” is just a meaningless sequence of syllables for these loons, a sequence they have read elsewhere and know they must dutifully repeat to prove their credentials and commitment. It might as well be “Emmanuel Goldstein the Koch Brothers”. No association is intended to the historical Alinsky or any tactics he advocated.

    There. That’s better.

  136. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 29, 2012 at 17:27

    Mind you if you stop the Koch Brothers from doing what they’re doing a lot of people will be better off, whereas if you stop Saul Alinsky from doing what he’s doing you’ll wind up with disappointed worms.

  137. lawnorder said,

    April 4, 2012 at 6:41

    Talking about officer Birther Larkin, he just had is license to practice medicine denied in Kansas
    http://www.theblaze.com/stories/birther-and-former-army-doc-denied-medical-license-allegedly-over-political-views/

    The dishonorable discharge had no bearing on Lakin’s license to practice medicine in Maryland or Colorado,” reports KCTV in Kansas. “But the Kansas board ruled Lakin‘s refusal to deploy to Afghanistan ’…potentially jeopardized the health, safety and welfare of the military troops for with applicant was employed to provide medical care.’”

    Wingnuts on the comments section are going apeshit over it

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()