Helen-Bot Cannot Process Input Legitimate Female Concern, Switching to Paranoid Delusion Default Mode Instead
Dr. Helen, PJ Media Lifestyles Section:
What is the Equivalent of Abortion for Men?
No, wait, hold up.
Oh we’ll get to the complete WTF of the title and the fact that this so-called advice column was penned by the malfunctioning robot dating the malfunctioning robot known as Glenn Reynolds in a second.
Pajamas Media has a Lifestyles section?
Pajamas Media has a Lifestyles section?!?
The average Lifestyles section of a newspaper is a blinking red tombstone, a gaudy testament to the archaic views of the octogenarians running and reading it. The half-formed sexist thoughts of the not-yet-decayed as they try and imagine what dem dere girls would want to read what with the big bad words of the News sections being too hard for their little woman brains to deal with.
So why in Hell would you want to duplicate the format online and worse yet, why would you ever let the depraved wingnuts of the world have a venue to approximate what they think women want to read?!?
These are people trying to make rape a part of gyno exams and arguing that the rhythm method is the only contraceptive women should be allowed access to. Do we really want to hear them try and pull a Mel Gibson and give us a nightmare version of “What our Stereotypical Idea of Women Want”?
No, no one in the entire cosmos wants this and yet it exists.
Ugh, fine. What’s today’s post about?
- Ha! You say women are in the rape stirrups of our ongoing war against women?!? Well, fool to you, liberals, for it is truly the man who is the Jew of Liberal Gynofascism!
Alternate More Literal Shorter:
- Guys having to pay Child Support is infinitely worse than whatever those slutty womenfolk whine about.
Ah, right. So, Dr. Helen, the robot wife Glenn Reynolds is always going on about wanting decided to try and tackle the inconvenient fact that conservatives have been trying to eliminate all sexual freedom for women by the good old-fashioned tactic of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION.
Allow me to demonstrate.
I read with amusement the article entitled “Women are Facing Sexual McCarthyism” at Politico making the rounds in the blogosphere:
Guys, I’m thinking it’s hard for you to imagine what it’s like to have your most private decisions made for you. By women.
Let’s put it this way: Imagine that you need Viagra. Imagine that a law passed by an 80 percent female Legislature mandates that to obtain a prescription, you have to procure an affidavit from a sexual partner verifying that you are indeed incapable of an erection.
Or maybe, before obtaining a vasectomy, you have to undergo an ultrasound on your testicles — wherein a technician must apply gel and press a hand-held transducer on your private parts.
Wingnuts have a damned hard time with snark. And an even harder time with facts. And the hardest time of all with clear comparisons that demonstrate hypocrisy and unfair treatment.
But, the cold robot beeps unfeelingly, that’s the point. Designated inferior group is inferior and wrong for being designated inferior group, whereas we are right and true by virtue of our belonging in designated superior group. Why if we didn’t enforce that separation, it whirs while raising its metal claws to the Heavens, there’d be total anarchy as designated inferior group viewed themselves as somehow equal and as valid as designated superior group. A sad beep echoes its hollow tin voice chamber. And I was not programmed to handle such a case.
I have to laugh because over the past few weeks, I have been writing a chapter for my new book on the lack of reproductive rights for men.
Really? I wasn’t aware that men had cripplingly expensive contraception that was actively being battled against by powerful political forces and churches and which is only available after long and regular doctor visits where a woman violently jams a cold metal spreader up their ass and pokes around? I also wasn’t aware that after a random variable of sex sessions, men found themselves with a growing and unwanted parasite, which they then had to overcome a thousand obstacles and hurdles entirely placed there to make the process of getting their body back as humiliating as possible because of what a bunch of old child-molesting women thought about the sinfulness of their junk? That a major source of prostate health care was attacked because of a connection to “controversial” yet legal penile health care practices like Viagra? Or that men were expected to be raped as part of the new testing procedure for paternity?
That’s the best part of this job. I learn new things every day!
What the writer of this Politico article should be stating instead is:
“Girls, I’m thinking it’s hard for you to imagine what it’s like to have your most private decisions made for you. By men and women.”
Okay, Hellen, I’m gonna level with you. I know IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is a ground state with you wingnuts, but you need to be careful with it. Sure, it’s all well and good to argue say, that blacks are the real racists, but you got stop there. Once you start trying to “twist” arguments around and argue things like “black people don’t understand what it’s like to be owned as chattel by another race of people” then you open yourself to moments like this one.
Yes, Helen, women sure do have a hard time imagining what it’s like to have their private decisions made for them by other people. That is to say on the magical Fairyland you apparently live on where that even begins to make sense.
Women have absolutely no concept or understanding of the lack of reproductive choices that the average guy has in this country.
Yes, because men… no, they don’t have their bodily autonomy and safety violated against a legal and biologically ethical procedure because of the viewpoints of OTHER people with regards to fetal ensoulification… and no on having their contraceptive choices routinely held hostage by any given assholes views on “dem sluts”… and they even have Viagra so they have control over even the biological limitations (over the counter too for extra convenience)… so I don’t-
OHHHHH. Nearly missed that there. Of course, Helen, you’re absolutely right! Women have as little understanding of the lack of reproductive choices to the average male as they do the mating patterns of winged unicorns.
Amazing how being fictional affects how well known something is!
Maybe, if they came up for air from every once in a while from their narcissistic quest to turn the country into a female-centric one (congrats, it already is), they would have a bit of empathy for how the other half lives. But don’t count on it.
Damn Gynocracy, living it up with their automatic social regard and dominance of all major forms of power!
On a completely unrelated and purely speculative note, I’ve always wondered how MRAs and other delusionals rationalize their views of the Gynocalypse with the fact that men hold overwhelmingly dominant positions in all positions of power. I mean, if men are really so hard done, shouldn’t they use their overwhelming political, economic, social, etc… standing to overturn it or at least make it more known than the deranged ramblings of some internet basement dwellers.
I guess the idea that every world-wide hall of political power, every scientific organization, every university, every community, and everyone they encounter is in the Conspiracy shilling for Big Gyno than it is to accept that maybe men have had a sweet gig and its time to stop whining about the bitches wanting up for air in between all the forced blowjobs.
Imagine, if you will, that you are a 13-year-old boy and the 34-year old lady down the street decides to seduce you or the 25-year old babysitter pushes herself on you against your will or with your blessing–doesn’t matter. And she gets pregnant. What’s the outcome?
She goes to jail for statutory rape? I mean, that’s the point of all those age of consent laws.
Not sure how this relates to your proof that blocking abortion and contraception access ain’t shit compared to the Dudebro Holocaust.
You are stuck paying child support for at least 18 years.
Pretty much every state in our nation does not hold minors liable for child support payment arising from provable rape and since there’s a birth certificate proof of rape, no liability.
And seriously?!? That’s your trump card? The apparent scores of vampiric cougars roaming the countryside raping little kids just so they can get that sweet sweet child support gravy train?!?
I’ve read conspiracy theories on Manboobz that weren’t this out there. I’m not sure that scenario has even occurred once and we’re a society that turned two women consuming each others’ vomit into an internet sensation.
Don’t believe me, check out Professor Michael Higdon’s paper: Fatherhood by Conscription.
Yessss… The “paper” by a hack so immense that he seems to be unaware that a legal research paper should include reference to actual court cases on the dockets using the full names of the claimants unless legally stricken from the court record. Where he instead decided to give vague reference to a Nathaniel and a Ricci who engaged in illegally consented to sex (rape by statutory rape). And outlined a case that a) I sincerely doubt was what he claimed, b) only a single case that he used to make a sweeping argument that we need to add… what is already the existing law on statutory rape and child support, and c) at worst was an easily appealed decision based on the failure to bring up the statutory rape circumstances at a hearing for child support between what was then legal adults.
Wingnuts hate science and its focus on facts so much, but want its seductive respect so bad it’s killing them.
In his research, he found that not one court let a kid off the hook, even if the woman committed a felony by having sex with a young boy.
Child support is waived all the goddamn time. And again, existing law on rape and child support.
YOU FAIL! Good day ma’am. I SAY GOOD DAY, MA’AM!
Imagine if a 13- year-old-girl was forced to have a baby by the courts against her will.
Oh, you mean that thing that happens all the goddamn time thanks to those vile “parenthood notification” laws and “parental consent” laws with regards to abortion, so that vindictive or abusive parents can force their underaged daughters to go through potentially life-threatening pregnancies to “teach them a lesson”?
And not to knock the impact that child support payments can have on a person but a little different say, medically than what you are trying to actively dismiss. Not to mention that child support isn’t the court’s way of saying “Men must Die”, but are a way to make sure that a child brought to term is taken care of financially enough to survive to adulthood.
Also, women pay child support too when they are not the dominant parent or their child becomes ward of the state.
But when has that ever stopped a misogynist from whining that Child Support is Rape Factory Times 1 Trillion?
All hell would break loose.
Snrk. Heh. Hee hee hee. Ho ho HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wooee. Ah.
Thanks Helen, I needed the laugh. All hell breaking lose when women’s bodily autonomy was violated by outside interests. Oh, where do they come up with these jokes?
But boys, no one cares.
If it was the MENZ, the whinier half of the internet would be on this like poorly chosen tribal tattoos on douchebros.
But boys? Pfft. Come back when your balls drop, little man, and then we’ll talk.
After all, they have no feelings or rights and most of all, no lobby.
No lobby minus the conservative movement, the “pro-life” movement, the Father’s Right movement, the entire Republican Party, the entire Republican Party’s social propaganda apparatus, the Catholic Church, the vast majority of Evangelical churches, the Church of Mormon, and a number of other large and powerful forces.
But except for all of them, completely alone, yup.
Now imagine you are a guy who finds out that a baby you thought was yours is found through DNA evidence not to be.
Then you could dispute the child support?
Like way easier than getting the Morning After Pill after being like raped raped by some fuckwad spiking your drink at a party.
Think you off the hook for child support?
Yes. Yes, you would be.
For people so obsessed with child support law, you seem to be routinely oblivious to even the most basic information of how it works.
Of course not, you will be using your body for the next 18 years to pay for that child. The law says so
The Courts are forcing men to literally prostitute themselves to pay for Child Support?!?
Well, fuck. Robo Helen is finally on to a real tragedy. I don’t know why we allow our laws to deny men any other means of payment than being forced to walk the streets picking up stray Johns. This is an outrage and I will not rest until-
Apparently it’s just another dose of bullshit hyperbole that is yet again openly dismissive of say the hordes of women who legitimately are hard-pressed to ignore sex work as the only means to pay for their education or to support a child on their own.
and there is no one to look out for you and while you toil and spend your time paying for this betrayal, society will make sure you pay up. If you don’t you will go to jail against your will.
That’s how it works.
If you don’t pay someone the money you owe them you go to jail.
If say, I decide I don’t want to pay my electricity bill because my electric company is a fucking criminal organization whose negligence nearly burned down my neighborhood? Then, the electric company will demand the payment and go to collections. And if I still refuse to pay out, I will go to jail. Because they provided service and I refused to pay.
And in Child Support, the primary parent is providing out of their hard work and their lost wages and their diminished ability to work due to being the sole caretaker for the child, the service of raising that kid to adulthood.
Not paying for that isn’t a heroic stand, it’s stealing someone else’s hardwork because you felt that “condoms kill the mood, dude” and you didn’t want to pay for a society where women have access to and aren’t socially shamed for using multiple forms of backup contraception themselves.
Don’t like it? Try voting for candidates that aren’t trying to make every form of contraception outside dime store condoms illegal.
There are up to 50,000 men on any given day in jail right now on child support arrears, the majority poor and destitute, but no one cares, only women matter.
Because they didn’t pay Child Support. Because they broke the motherfucking law.
And not in a “they tried and failed to immigrate legally from a country we shitcanned with our exported economic policy” law-breaking way. But in the “taking goods without paying for it” way.
And you know what, most of the men who bail on child support don’t tend to be “destitute”. It’s just the poorest ones end up getting imprisoned for it (and not for terribly long sentences).
Also being glided over by Helen Bot 3000? That the women robbed of necessary support also tend to be destitute themselves, but don’t have the option of “just not paying for the upkeep of the child” because that is criminal neglect, which is given a much harder penalty with much longer jail terms.
So again, this weep for the MENZ runs into the problem that every one of those men in jail left a woman overburdened with child care often far beyond their means to the point where they are working 3 jobs and only seeing and raising their kids in passing, just so they can make enough to keep said kid alive. Many of said women often forego eating and basic self-care to make sure of this.
But hey, men have slightly smaller paychecks that can be waived for economic necessity.
And that’s the real crime.
I can go on and will go on when my book comes out but the main point I want to make is this: Women have reproductive choice, men essentially have none.
I can go on and will go on when my book comes out but the main point I want to make is this: Liberals are the real fascists, while conservatives are the Jews of Liberal Fascism.
Apparently, we are all Jonah Goldberg now.
In a perfect world, there would be laws that would give men the reproductive equivalent of abortion.
Damn straight. Stop forcing dudes to carry pregnancies in their bodies to term! Make their contraception easy and affordable to access, like sold at Drug Stores and given away at various clinics! And heck, even allow them some means to overcome biological limitations so they can be biologically able to consensually engage in sexual relations on their and their partner’s terms!
So, I ask readers, what would that be, if women have abortion, what should men get so that we don’t have sexual McCarthyism for men?
I mean that’s the big central problem with this post. Well not the big central problem. That’s just the general space between keyboard and chair. But a major one nonetheless.
There isn’t really an equivalent, because men don’t have their bodily autonomy and reproductive freedoms assaulted like women do.
To get serious for a minute, there’s a reason that every one of these “nuh uh, gynofascism” posts ends up having to circle around essentially paying your bills and various conspiracy theories and made up problems surrounding it (oh yeah, we really need to get cracking on the flood of women getting pregnant and gaining the huge expense, time sink, and emotion sink that is raising children just so they can steal child support. That’s so very much a bigger problem and a more common problem than scared women with an unwanted pregnancy or a septic wanted pregnancy, who just want to take advantage of their legal medical rights.)
Because it’s literally the best they can do. And it really shows how shitty such a comparison is when it’s made so ham-fistedly blunt as this. Child Support versus Being Forced to Carry an Unwanted Pregnancy to Term. Last I checked, Child Support had no biological impact on any person who had to pay it. It doesn’t leech the nutrients from their body. It doesn’t wash the person in potent mood-altering chemicals. It doesn’t impair ability to earn one’s livelihood for months at a time. It doesn’t physically alter the body and put it at extreme risk which is mitigated only to the extent of one’s ability to afford comprehensive health care.
Child Support can have a financial impact, yes. But I’m sorry.
I refuse to put up with the crocodile tears of the people who have fought tooth and nail against any and all safety nets, any and all programs to allow a motivated individual to easily change class, and any and all universal care program that would remove the need for a former partner to provide support. I.e. the things that would legitimately decrease the financial hardship of additional bills rather than just being a smokescreen for punishing the women who escape these horrible people and their cheerleaders.
These things could be very easily taken care of with a robust safety net, with programs to aid mothers in real money, which provides a safety net and paid leave for all mothers and fathers regardless of social class or marital status.
And it’s not the mean old feminazis who have been fighting these every step of the way.
And that’s before we note the real elephant in the room, which is that Child Support is shit all in real money. Anyone who has ever received Child Support or been the child of one who has, knows that when the non-primary parent even bothers to pay, that it fucking pales in comparison to the bills that the kid racks up for the primary parent. It might help ease some of the desperation points, but it’s hardly even a solid half.
So, even if we were to ignore how shitty a comparison Child Support is to anything right-wingers have been doing to women to deny them access to the legal medical services they are entitled to…
It’s still a shit analogy, because the primary parent is still suffering way WAY more financial hardship than the person “suffering” Child Support.
So, like with all wingnut arguments, even if we were to ignore the massive projection, the factual inaccuracies, the outright dismissals, and the complete lack of even an approximate analogy…
They still fail.