And in breaking news, Andrew Breitbart is still dead.
America’s Worst Unemployed Lawyer, the Supposed Non-Virgin Ben Shapiro, Big Everything:
The Vetting: Obama Embraces Racialist* Prof
Some people on their deathbed leave works of enigmatic quality and stunning revelation that make us ache to know what could have been if they hadn’t been struck dead while trying to complete their work. Such works seem to evoke a mythic quality, both a clue to the creation process of a genius as well as a testament to our flitting mortality and the way death does not kindly wait for convenience.
So too could Breitbart’s final project (an “expose of Obama’s college days”) have been…
You know, if he wasn’t a hack whose only success came off passing work to 3rd rate videographer hacks to form poorly edited video which would have remained in wingnut conspiracy theory limbo if the Bought and Sold Media weren’t desperate for something, anything to create a “both sides do it” controversy as distraction from the various racist/sexist temper tantrums the Right were throwing up in 2009.
But still, Breitbart’s minions, desperate to retain their jobs now that the personality whose cult they formed has shuffed the coil, have decided to “honor” their old boss by posting what their boss had in attempted fanfare.
Sadly, seeing as this is Sadly, No favorite Ben Shapiro trying to do the honoring, it’s even more inept than you would initially suspect. Let me give you the shorter:
- A black man hugged another black man in front of a crowd that contained at least one black person. If this isn’t directly parallel to a Klu Klux Klan meeting, I don’t know what is.
I’m not kidding. Here let me give you the first line:
Below is footage of Barack Obama praising and hugging Professor Derrick Bell.
No. Not hugging. Why it’s only one step from hugging to kissing. And then one step from kissing to triple anal. And then only one step from triple anal to TOTAL WORLD DESTRUCTION!
And not just anyone, but Derrick Bell…
I mean, I know you got nothing. You know you got nothing, and Breitbart’s whole shtick has basically been taking innocuous and non-controversial incidents and smearing his racist paranoias all over them, but still…
Give me a break. Derrick Bell isn’t exactly controversial. He’s a pretty distinguished law professor, who pretty much founded his field of expertise, which is proving academically the no-duh assertion that laws, enforcement of laws, and willingness of minorities to comply with laws just might be affected by societal racial animosity. You’d probably do better trying to mine Bill Cosby for controversy.
It was spliced and diced by the media to avoid showing just how close Obama was to Bell.
By spliced and diced, they mean released in full by a wingnut lite website before the collected editors of Big Fail could figure out who Breitbart had planned to splice and dice the footage to try and support whatever inane KKK-esque statement he wanted to pitch to FOX News this week.
I suppose if they had enough time, they could have cobbled together something from the ashes to make one last stir for their old boss’s sake, but sadly, Breitbart ends up leaving the same way he stumbled onto the stage, in a drunken and incoherent fart.
More than that, a close associate of the Obama campaign, Harvard Law School’s Professor Charles Ogletree, admitted on our exclusive tape, “We hid this throughout the 2008 campaign. I don’t care if they find it now.”
Yes, would have been great if you had any proof…say on your “exclusive” tape that Charles Ogletree had said any such thing.
Also might have helped your case if say, a) your tape and recording was actually exclusive so that b) it wasn’t publicly available on the PBS website since the actual 2008 election campaign, where it was aired as part of PBS’s The Choice and Frontline.
Especially since PBS acquired that footage from a local PBS affiliate who were the only people to have ever “edited the tape”.
Sure would be embarrassing if your attempted ratfucking just prompted PBS to release the “full footage” unedited.
Oh hey, what do you know, they did.
Well, we found it. And it is damaging, because Barack Obama was as close or closer to Derrick Bell than he ever was to Jeremiah Wright.
Did shouting Jeremiah Wright’s name over and over in 2008 fail so badly that we’re still wiping Santorum off our faces from it? Let’s try it again, but this time, louder and more incoherent.
You’d never guess that this man’s former boss was an untreated alcoholic and drug addict.
Obama didn’t merely sit in the pews – or not — for Derrick Bell. He didn’t just hang out with Derrick Bell for prayers. He said:
“Open up your hearts and your minds to the words of Professor Derrick Bell.”
No! He didn’t just give a generic opening to a distinguished professor speech as part of his duties as the introductory speech!
That’s like Two Hitlers on a Stalin Sandwich right there! He might as well have strung up a white boy and taken his picture with him.
And really, you were stretching with the whole “he attended a church where the preacher acknowledged the existence of racism thing”. Did you really think you were going to have more success with “he attended the classes of a professor who acknowledged the existence of racism”?
I think Barack Obama is more than aware of the existence of racism, and looking at the last two years alone, I really don’t think he needed to have either Jeremiah Wright or Derrick Bell clue him in.
If we did, here’s what we’d be opening our hearts and minds to.
Ooh, let’s hear it. This is the reason for the last rambling paragraph about the evils of Jeremiah Wright and how Derrick Bell is like 20 Jeremiah Wrights in a tin can mixed with Hitler. I’m sure this shocking revelation will at least equal what has been produced by leading white leaders with regards to race over the years or even the nasty racism we’ve seen just in the campaign season for the Republican nominee frontrunners or-
This is a close associate of Jeremiah Wright, a man who was quoted by Jeremiah Wright regularly.
Or… it’s just ranting Jeremiah Wright’s name over and over again… yeah. I know you’ve been making sweet love to Obama saying the big sayonara to his old preacher in the 2008 campaign season as one of the few victories you’ve managed to snatch from the man, but have some fucking dignity.
Or failing that, put on some goddamn pants! The neighbors can see everything.
This is a man who posited that the civil rights movement was too moderate because it accepted the status quo, and believed that the entire legal and constitutional system had to be transformed in radical fashion.
Hey, Ben, come over here, let me whisper a secret in your ear.
The whole fucking civil rights movement was trying to “radically” transform the legal and legislative system they were in, you fucking moronic pile of puke.
Cause that was the fucking problem! The Segregationist South was creating discriminatory laws and corrupt enforcement of them in order to try and eliminate the guaranteed protections the blacks were owed after the Civil War and instead treat them as legally second-class citizens. It took a movement of “radicals” to overturn that and point out the “no duh” of racial animosity that allowed such affairs to continue.
And here’s the thing, Ben, old boy. I know you and the Right have been putting your fingers in your ears and pretending you are little Scarlet in Gone with the Wind, but it’s 20fucking12. That whole civil rights debate, the one back in the 60s? You lost. Badly. So badly in fact that these days everyone tries and pretends they were on the side of those old “radicals”, “communists”, and “racialists”.
People who point out racism existed in the legal system and laws of this country aren’t the “unthinkable radicals out of touch with normal American viewpoints”. You are!
This is a man so extreme that, as we’ve reported, he wrote a story in 1993 in which he posited that white Americans would sell black Americans into slavery to aliens to relieve the national debt, and that Jews would go along with it.
The “aliens” part of that paragraph would have clued in a lesser man that this story might be, what’s the word, science fiction, emphasis on fiction. Robert Heinlein once wrote a story about Libertarians living on the moon launching rocks to try and obliterate the remaining life on Earth. It doesn’t mean we cite that as the reason that Libertarians are scum…
Wait for it…
Okay, now… we let their policies do that for them.
There’s far more coming on Derrick Bell.
Yeah, if you had anything, you kinda would have showed it when you were still almost ahead of the curve. I don’t think you’re going to be able to pull a full Breitbart before your little fail is mocked and ripped apart for the aborted smear campaign it is. Heck, I don’t even think you’ll manage a Glenn Beck style “evil liberal academic of the week” chalkboard thing.
This is just the beginning.
Oh, how cute, the chicken doesn’t realize its head has been cut off yet and is still trying to run.
A point, Ben? No, you just keep gambling on the long-term viability of Breitbart’s self-promotion empire.
And this video is a smoking gun showing that Barack Obama not only associated with radicals, he was their advocate.
Advocate. Introductory speaker. Radicals. Distinguished college professors who invented their own field and who dare point out the “insane” and totally left-field ideas like “whites will promote racial advances for blacks only when they also promote white self-interest” which has been totally disproven by… er… I’m sure one day whites won’t fight to the death each slow agonizing step of black equality and advancement… some day.
Anyways, same things, right?
You know what wouldn’t at all help your case? If you tried to include video of the “evil incident” revealing Obama sounding like he does now giving a generic introductory speech to a non-controversial figure about to speak about racial hiring inequalities in the Ivy Leagues (an issue firmly in the duh side of no duh).
Oh look, that was next.
I notice you didn’t even bother to link to any of Derrick Bell’s “evil black sorcery” or the contents of Bell’s speech or speeches in general. It’s almost like you knew this was an aborted Glenn Beck style smear job and you just wanted to keep your names out in the forefront before people quietly started pretending that Breitbart never existed.
Oh, Ben, what an exciting next couple of years you will have.
One last thing. I can’t help but notice that all of these desperate attempts by Breitbart, his minions, and the various white supremacists who have been coming out of the woodwork to argue that blacks have been as bad as whites and are the new KKK seem to lack… anything.
I mean, there has been a national shared history and trauma of racism against blacks in this country. So much so, that whites aren’t fully able to cope with what has been done in the name of their skin color. Slavery, lynching, segregation, ghettos, institutional racism, employment discrimination, The Bell Curve, the KKK, the Teabaggers, and the unending amounts of often archaic racism from untold numbers of high-ranking public officials and institutions, often including calls for the reinstatement of slavery, the futility of education, and calling for the death of the “lesser races”.
And so, to combat it and feed our media’s aching desperate need for something, anything to feed its “both sides do it” narrative, they’ve managed to find… jack.
And not just, they haven’t found the Black version of the KKK. They haven’t managed to find the black version of the fucking Rotary club. They haven’t even been able to find “reverse racism” and that’s using the calvinball rules they invented to define that nonsense word.
Instead all they’ve been able to find is that some blacks are less than satisfied with our national denial-based coping strategy with regards to racism and like to point out that, you know, racism exists and has existed.
And it was bad enough when they were trying to make that the equivalent to hundreds of years of brutal oppression, but now they’ve managed to move on to arguing that blacks who criticized racism that even the white power structure admits was racist are the equivalent of the KKK mixed with Hitler.
Oh no, that man resisted Segregation and noted that the Jim Crow laws might be an example of laws being influenced by racial animosity! He must be the Nigger Angel of Death come to harvest all our cracker souls!
You know how non-controversial that shit is? We elevated a movie talking about the same exact shit as Derrick Bell to a prized example of timeless and universal Americana (To Kill a Mockingbird (FIXED to correct total brainfart where I thought one thing and wrote down the title for another, damn you books with birds in the title!)).
I swear, after 4 more years of an Obama presidency, the Right will be trying to argue that lynch victims were part of the radical racialism movement trying to destroy White America.
And I’m not sure there’s much further in that direction even our Bought and Sold Media is willing to follow.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Trying to defeat our totally hosed FYWP problems, so I can get the people something to read in the meantime, is invented by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*It turns out trying to sell “racialist” as the opposite of “racist” and putting every single person who has ever noticed any racial inequality in the “racialist” camp doesn’t at all stop one from looking like a white-supremacist. And in fact, just makes it more obvious. Who knew?