Feb
25

You Know Who Else Didn’t Like Posthumous Baptisms?




Posted at 21:00 by Tintin


ABOVE: Professor Eugene Volokh

Shorter Eugene Volokh, The Volokh Conspiracy:
Posthumous Baptisms

    • The Jews are whining again about Holocaust victims. Who cares if Mormons posthumously baptize Ann Frank? If it works, it will get her out of the fiery pits of hell and if not, big whoop, she’s stays wherever she already is. So what’s the big fucking deal?

  • ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

    411 Comments »

    1. Mat said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:07

      Eugene Volokh: the crown prince of sloppy, slippery-slope sophistry. What a jackass. I cannot, and will not, get off the boat.

    2. Major Kong said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:13

      Oy vey!

    3. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:28

      Libertarian does not understand concept of consent (of course none of them do). I do rather like Colbert’s response to this situation.

    4. Occupy Avians said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:30

      The only posthumous Baptism the Mormons really need to do is of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Once that is done (& I assume it was one of the earliest ones) Yeheshua ben Joseph becomes just another good Mormon boy as well as our Lord and Savior, and everyone who ever worshiped his Glory and Might is a follower of Moroni and the choirs of Mormon angels.

      Anne Frank, Joan of Arc or any other famous martyr is but a filigree on this simple act which imposes the great design of Mormonism on reality and brings us all within its sacrosanct precincts.

      Hooray for America! Separation of Church and State has been reinterpreted in the 21st Century to mean that we can vote for the greatest Theologian in Chief. Mitt for the Mormons, Frothy Santorum for the old burn-the-heretics and trample the poor Hitler Youth papal shock troops, and Obama for the mainline “bipartisan” faith of occupying the Heathens’ Land and bringing the glories of Civilization to them (the half-White Man’s Burden, so to speak.)

      Hallelu-Jah! Let’s celebrate His Glory, brethren.

    5. Smut Clyde said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:39

      Libertarian does not understand concept of consent

      Isn’t this more on an intellectual-property rights issue?

    6. EnfantTerrible said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:40

      Eugene Volokh is now a pre-deceased gay dead Mormon:

      http://alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com/

      Can I get a “hallelujah, brother”?

    7. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:49

      Isn’t this more on an intellectual-property rights issue?

      Not in anyway I can understand. Of course I gave up trying to make sense out of libertarian rants years ago. My understanding of Xtian theology is that baptism requires some kind of consent and none can be given in this context. I will also say that I have let it be known that I will personally come back and haunt anybody with the audacity to try to baptize me to any faith posthumously.

    8. rodert rudis said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:52

      My grandfather always wanted to be a preacher and he even built the church in our little hamlet called Rowena. (He could give thanks so long before supper that the soup would get cold!) But he told me once that baptism was really just a bunch of do-gooders making a big show of charity, and a false charity at that. The fact is, he said, was that no matter who baptizes you or how many times you might get “dunked in the river”, it’s ultimately up to Him to decide whether you were a Christian living man. God, after all, knows everything and no amount of earthly tricks would change that. You can’t give me what you don’t have.

    9. posthumously designated Super Bowl MVP said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:53

      Hi everybody! Clearly, the crackers have forgotten their place and are making a public spectacle, again, of their deeply and sincerely held beliefs. They aren’t supposed to scare the less-devout normals during an election year. Volokh is the functionary attempting to smooth over the normals’ dismay (some may actually believe in an afterlife, and that prayers of the living may ameliorate their post-corporeal situation). Vol-schmukh even says its “inconsequential” and “doesn’t matter”. Well, many a safari has been the subject of aboriginal religious rituals and poo-poo-ed those to their chagrin. To Their Chagrin, I say!

    10. Nym said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:56

      Seems like a good time to mention this site: All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay

      Convert who you like!

    11. Nym said,

      February 25, 2012 at 21:56

      Whoops, that’s what I get for not reloading the comments quickly enough. :P

    12. Major Kong said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:03

      I thought Volokh was the villain from Harry Potter?

    13. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:07

      I thought Volokh was the villain from Harry Potter?

      No that was his smart brother, the nilhilist. The only time libertarians are scary is when they have some control over the economy.

    14. wiley said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:09

      I suppose if someone’s theology was that Mormon baptisms did have metaphysical effect, but a bad effect (e.g., made the subject go to Hell), then that person would understandably object to those baptisms. But as best I can tell, that’s not Jewish theology — the Jewish religious view is that those rituals have absolutely no consequence, temporal or spiritual.

      Elie Wiesel is Jewish, but probably just has a wild hair up his butt for no reason at all when it comes to Mormon baptism of Jews. It has nothing to do with Jewish theology as best as someone who read about Judaism once can tell. What could it be about Mormon baptisms that just set some people off? Maybe the APA should look into this.

    15. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:11

      Eugene Volokh is now a pre-deceased gay dead Mormon:

      http://alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com/

      Can I get a “hallelujah, brother”?

      I just married Joseph Smith off to Brigham Young in a pagan celebration.

      Blessed be!

    16. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:13

      What could it be about Mormon baptisms that just set some people off? Maybe the APA should look into this.

      I think it’s the temerity of some jello-mold eating Utah asshole thinking that he is doing your murdered grandparents a favor by casting a magic spell over them, with the implication that their religious tradition was somehow inferior to his.

    17. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:16

      Why do I get the feeling that Volokh (sheesh, that name is straight out of a bad fantasy novel) wouldn’t be so blasé about this if it were an Islamic sect that were doing the inductions or, let’s be truly honest about it, if it were a democratic Mormon candidate (say, a Harry Reid) running for president?

    18. Smut Clyde said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:19

      Isn’t this more on an intellectual-property rights issue?
      Not in anyway I can understand.

      I am trying to translate the concerns — purely symbolic as they are — from normal human terms into terms that Volokh might understand [handicapped by my own unfamiliarity with the former].

      Of course I gave up trying to make sense out of libertarian rants years ago. My understanding of Xtian theology is that baptism requires some kind of consent and none can be given in this context.

      Consent from new-borns? Consent from the unborn, if we go back to that digression in Tristan Shandy about intra-uterine baptism with the help of holy water through a syringe?

    19. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:20

      I think it’s the temerity of some jello-mold eating Utah asshole thinking that he is doing your murdered grandparents a favor by casting a magic spell over them, with the implication that their religious tradition was somehow inferior to his.

      That would be my take. That is some pretty high level effrontery and a massive disrespect of other religions there. There might (and I emphasize might) be some excuse for Mormons posthumously baptizing their unbelieving relatives, but certainly not anyone else.

    20. DonBoy said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:24

      Eugene Volkh himself isn’t as right-wing or partisan as some of the other bloggers there. Having read a fair amount of his stuff over the years, I think his argument here comes out of a libertarian position that thinks that if something is not “force” or “fraud” there’s nothing more to be said about it

      That said, my Shorter of this is

      “Insults aren’t force or fraud, so by the Magick of Libertarianism, insults do not exist!”

    21. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:25

      Consent from new-borns?

      You have a point there. I blame it on my distant childhood upbringing in the “adult” baptism branch of the Protestants. Even still, it would require the parents giving consent, as they do in most matters involving children. This is done without the consent of anyone connected with the deceased.

    22. posthumously designated Super Bowl MVP said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:29

      Volokh says its “inconsequential”. I thought that the destination of ectoplasmic midi-chlorians was supposed to be a Big Shit Deal in Conservaland, and here the LDSers are shunting already loaded boxcars through the Bakersfield traffic yard of eternal damnation. Holy Cosmic Detour, Batman! Howsam I gonna get to heaven if my soul is on a siding in Bemidgi ? you can’t spell volokh without…well, you can’t speak it without Klingon pronunciation.

    23. Fenwick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:32

      Occupy: Wow. What a brillianti dea! Jesus WAS a Jew, after all. And though He sitteth on right hand of the Father in heaven, His corporeal body is indeed DEAD in this world. So all the LDS conditions have been met! QED.

      Enfant: Hallelujah, brother! Excellent idea to extend gay conversion to pre-deceased Mormons. It’s like buying a cemetary plot before kicking the bucket. (Btw, I converted six dead Mormans yesterday; your rationale has opened up new vistas of conversion possibilities. Thanx!)

      I don’t recall you (pl) commenting here before. Let me offer you both a mint julep as part of the Sadlyville Welcome Wagon.

      Wiley: Mr Wit contacted me. We’ll be speaking on the phone the coming week. I hope I can be of some assistance. Also, I’m w-a-y late on the comments I promised to you and Whale Chowder. Mr. Procrastination will mos def get them into this thread somehow.

      Major: Thanx for the T-28 fotos. I assume you were in the back seat, with dual controls of some sort. I also remember you saying that equinimaty and calmness was necessary when flying as trainer. Did you have to overide the trainees often? What sort of maneuvers generally gave trainees the most difficulty? What was your hairest moment in the T-38? (Or for that matter, as a trainer in the KC-135.)

      I would put up some Fenwick-during-service photos, except the best were destroyed in a house fire in 2007…and I don’t know how to digitize the few that remain. Also, I wasn’t nearly as handsome or fit, alas.

    24. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:35

      Enfant: Hallelujah, brother! Excellent idea to extend gay conversion to pre-deceased Mormons. It’s like buying a cemetary plot before kicking the bucket.

      That’s a good idea- I just indentured Mitt Romney to serve as Brigham Young and Joseph Smith’s houseboy/sex slave.

    25. Fenwick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:35

      Tintin: Thanks for the Shorter! You have a gift for them.

    26. Cole said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:35

      That is some pretty high level effrontery and a massive disrespect of other religions there.

      I agree wholeheartedly, but then, I’m not religious.

      It’s my opinion that a massive disrespect of other religions is EXACTLY how a (genuinely) religious person should act. This is why religion is bad, bad, bad for any hope of humanity surviving this century. But, really, if someone genuinely believes in a God that created Everything, knows Everything, and is All Powerful, and that if you follow an arbitrary system of magical incantations and rituals you will be rewarded for eternity, then why the hell would you give a shit what other religions mistakenly believe?

    27. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:37

      …well, you can’t speak it without Klingon pronunciation.

      Which, as we all know, produces some unsightly phlegm.
      .

    28. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:39

      I’m not religious

      Me either and I am an anthropologist committed to cultural relativism as well.

    29. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:40

      Which, as we all know, produces some unsightly phlegm.

      But which is still more attractive than what libertarians normally produce.

    30. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:43

      But which is still more attractive than what libertarians normally produce.

      At least phlegm has no real odor, at least from a distance.
      .

    31. Cole said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:43

      I didn’t mean to cast aspersions, my Good Doctor. I’m aware of your firm-footing in the scientific method, and applaud you for it.

    32. Fenwick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:44

      baptism requires some kind of consent

      Absolutely. The only exception is infant baptism.

      I wonder if the Frothy Mixture baptised his dead baby–Catholics can do this in emergencies–before he took it home for his kids to ‘meet’…which is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard.

    33. steerpike said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:55

      OK, I got off the boat, and I have to say I have a hard time disagreeing with Volokhmort or whatever his unspeakable name is.

      Either the Mormons are right about their theology, or they’re wrong. If they’re right, then the posthumous baptism will do good. If they’re wrong (and, being not a Mormon, I by definition think they are wrong, or else I’d be a Mormon), then the baptism will have no effect whatsoever: It is just some people going through some ineffectual — by hypothesis — rituals in their own temple, and I don’t see what it should be to me…

      As an atheist, I completely agree, and I would add that I feel exactly the same way about the author’s own (unstated, in this piece) religious beliefs. I feel that way about any people who walk around with headscarves, turbans, veils, or schmears of ashes on their heads (what is it about theists and putting stuff on their heads?), or sing, chant, ululate, preach or pray. It all amounts to the same thing: a completely unsupported declaration that “I know who God is, and what He wants, better than you.” Why should I have any less respect for people who baptize dead people than ones who do it to living babies?

    34. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:58

      Casting Asparagus requires at least a +3 Wand of Vegetation.
      ~

    35. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 22:58

      I didn’t mean to cast aspersions, my Good Doctor. I’m aware of your firm-footing in the scientific method, and applaud you for it.

      I did not think you were. I was actually agreeing with you. Just pointing out that from my perspective, it is all a bunch of horseshit, but that is just fine and you are free to believe whatever makes you fell warm and fuzzy. I would also add that I am quite adamant about no one having the right to impose their horseshit on me.

    36. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:00

      Casting Asparagus requires at least a +3 Wand of Vegetation.

      You are always welcome to cast asparagus my way, as it is one of my favorite foods.

    37. Pupienus said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:01

      I just married Joseph Smith off to Brigham Young in a pagan celebration.

      I would AHEM with a link to yesterday but I can’t be arsed.

      I would like to pitch in more on this thread but I’m spending the day in teh kitchen. Making an Imperial fucktonne of wild mushroom raviolis (they freeze well), ham and bean soup (ditto, and it makes a great lunch with some), five minute bread which I am ashamed to admit I let run out, s sandwich bread (Julia Child’s French bread baked in a covered loaf pan), English muffins, oven roasting tomatoes, et cetera. At the moment I’m making our brunch of a Denver omelette and crisp englisher muffkinizers, fresh squeezed OJ, some fruit or other upon which I have not yet deciduated.

    38. gocart mozart said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:09

      I just ran across this at the Atlantic”
      http://www.theatlantic.com/video/archive/2012/02/the-oldest-cat-video-of-all-time/253134/
      “This 1894 film, one of the earliest produced by Thomas Edison’s Black Maria movie studio, features two cats boxing. Obviously it’s not actually a video, but it’s certainly evidence that even at the dawn of cinema, over a century before YouTube, cats ruled the moving image.”

      AHEM! Ahem you fucking Atlantic fuckers.
      http://gocart-mozart.blogspot.com/2011/07/thomas-edison-boxing-cats-boxing-babes.html

    39. Tehanu said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:12

      That is Volokh? That baby-faced twit in one of George sWill’s old shirts? Jeez, and here I thought he was an actual adult human.

    40. gocart mozart said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:12

      Et Tu Kos?

      “The more things change, the more they stay the same. Kasia Cieplak-Mayr von Baldegg at The Atlantic draws our attention to the fact that one of Tom Edison’s first experiments in motion photography was cats boxing in 1894. Clearly Edison, a man of vision, knew the future of motion photography was destined to be LOL cats on YouTube.”
      http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/02/25/1067095/-Midday-open-thread?via=blog_1

    41. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:15

      I think the gay conversion thing is okay, but it really ought to be some brand of goat worshiping paganism instead. My guess is they can laugh off the gay thing, cuz there’s no buttsecks when your dick has rotted off. Gay is sort of inherently corporeal, at least to straights. They need to have fire fought with fire. I don’t know if the official Church of Satan would go for it, but I suppose one could always start on offshoot, breakaway “Third Church of Satan Revenant” sect to posthumously, or just involuntarily convert Mormons so as to give The Devil dibs on their eternal soul. Pinch ‘em right the fuck down from their “Heaven”. Yee-hah. Sadly, I think that’s the only thing they’d take seriously, and how fucked up is that.

    42. Fenwick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:18

      Relevant: A baptism anecdote:

      My step-father, a widower, married again after I returned from the service. Two of my new step-brothers were United Pentacostals; one was a self-ordained minister who heard the calling of Holy Ghost and started his own ministry in SE Kansas.

      Here’s how it relates: The central touchstone of their sect–the reason they were United Pentacostals concerned baptism: One sentence in the King James abjures that believers must be baptised ‘in Jesus’ name’. They believed in the Trinity, but baptism ‘in the name of the Father and Son and the Holy Ghost’ was invalid, and all those people were Going Straight to Hell (until properly baptised).

      I liked my new step-brothers as people; we played chess and had some wonderful arguments about religion, particularly about teaching ‘creationism’ in nearby Arkansas. They earnestly prayed for me a lot–though not in my presence–because they were genuinely concerned about my soul.

      In an effort to build bridges, I went to Jeff’s service once. He was an energetic preacher; he had no text for his preaching, simply some flagged passages in the Bible. He told me that he was filled by the Holy Ghost and the words just came out; he was only a vessal. There was a lot of impassioned ‘testifying’ from the congregation. And I heard one person ‘speak in tongues.’

      So the ritual of baptism itself defined them.

    43. Bad Lip Reading Devil said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:18

      Your mother sews socks that smell!

    44. gocart mozart said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:20

      Colbert proxy circumcises dead Mormons
      http://thelastword.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/24/10500770-colbert-proxy-circumcises-dead-mormons

    45. Caliph Garrett said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:22

      It’s bad enough Jews were mercilessly persecuted for centuries by European Christians because they refused to “get with the program”—now another group of Christians is reminding them that the victims of Christendom’s ugly climax of antisemitism still need to be “saved” and converted.

      I’d be pretty pissed if I were a Jew, observant or not. Volokh’s attempt to make this a benign Pascal’s Wager is kind of missing the point.

    46. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:24

      Colbert proxy circumcises dead Mormons

      A bit late to the party there, Gocart. See mine up top (3rd comment in the thread).

    47. gocart mozart said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:28

      Ahem myself. DrDick posted the Colbert clip upthread

    48. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:29

      And I thought The Frothy One couldn’t mine any deeper for Teh Crazy.

      Silly me.

    49. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:32

      Ahem myself. DrDick posted the Colbert clip upthread

      Somehow, given the content, that seems appropriate.

    50. DrDick said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:47

      And I thought The Frothy One couldn’t mine any deeper for Teh Crazy.

      Never underestimate The Frothy One. Teh Crazy is strong in that one.

    51. Cerberus said,

      February 25, 2012 at 23:49

      Why yes, if you erase the history of racism and religious bigotry from an action and ignore the opinions of any untermenschen non-white-religiously-dominant people, then the bigoted, presumptuous and deliberately disrespectful actions of the dominant group become A-okay and in fact praise worthy.

      Rinse, repeat for all “libertarian” arguments.

      But never note that “libertarians” seem to rather obviously be the whitewashed brand for the same segregationist and white supremacist fucks of older times. They have complex moral philosophies that value “freedom”, so they must always be assumed to be arguing in the best of faith.

    52. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:04

      “Never underestimate The Frothy One. Teh Crazy is strong in that one.”

      He is IL DOUCHE! The bastaed son of Mussolini and a feminine hygene product.

    53. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:05

      Why did I write that in a Boston accent?

    54. Egbert Souse' said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:11

      is there a way to UN-baptize?

    55. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:13

      Why did I write that in a Boston accent?

      Because you are one of those anti-religious bigoted East Coast liberal elitists?

    56. S. cerevisiae said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:17

      Maybe we can convert dead Mormons to the cult of Cthulhu.

    57. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:25

      Maybe we can convert dead Mormons to the cult of Cthulhu.

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

      I second that motion.

    58. Bitter Scribe said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:32

      Maybe we can convert dead Mormons to the cult of Cthulhu.

      I’m more of a Church of the Subgenius man, myself. Dibs on Ezra Taft Benson.

    59. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:37

      I think the gay conversion thing is okay, but it really ought to be some brand of goat worshiping paganism instead. My guess is they can laugh off the gay thing, cuz there’s no buttsecks when your dick has rotted off. Gay is sort of inherently corporeal, at least to straights.

      Mormons apparently believe in a physical resurrection and a multi-tiered afterlife, with inclusion in the highest “tier” of the “Celestial Kingdom” being reserved for those with “eternal” Temple marriages. Kinda sucks to be an unmarried teen Mormon who gets whacked by a bus before marriage, but there’s probably an “out” for that.

      Two of my new step-brothers were United Pentacostals; one was a self-ordained minister who heard the calling of Holy Ghost and started his own ministry in SE Kansas.

      Self-ordained, eh? Sounds like a sweet gig. I think I’ll become a “self-ordained” minister and start the Church of Christ, Hedonist. Sunday morning orgy services start at 6:09!

    60. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:41

      Maybe we can convert dead Mormons to the cult of Cthulhu.

      Then we can gay marry them to fishmen.

    61. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:43

      Self-ordained, eh? Sounds like a sweet gig.

      Most, if not all Pentecostal ministers are self-ordained. They believe it is a calling manifested through the baptism of the Holy Spirit (of which speaking in tongues is one manifestation). Those who feel they have the calling attempt to recruit followers through their reaching and if they get enough, they can rent or but a building and start an actual church. One of the reasons that it is also referred to as a form of charismatic Christianity.

    62. Smut Clyde said,

      February 26, 2012 at 0:58

      a form of charismatic Christianity.

      My own belief system is more chrismic, i.e. there is an emphasis on anointment and consecrated oil.

    63. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:00

      I always thought you were a little too slick!

    64. John Revolta said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:04

      Oliphant shoots……………

      He Scores!!

      Guy is actually still gettin’ funnier.

    65. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:21

      Your daily Santorum.

    66. N__B said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:29

      You are always welcome to cast asparagus my way, as it is one of my favorite foods.

      I like it just for the scented urine.

    67. vacuumslayer said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:31

      I like canned asparagus. How gross am I?

    68. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:34

      I like it just for the scented urine.

      That is just the added bonus.

    69. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:34

      I like canned asparagus. How gross am I?

      Ewwwwwwwww!!!!

    70. Bitter Scribe said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:37

      I like it just for the scented urine.

      I’m just about to cook some. Thanks for reminding me to aim extra carefully tonight.

    71. vacuumslayer said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:39

      Asparagus+hollandaise=YAY!

    72. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:42

      I like it just for the scented urine.

      I’m just about to cook some.

      How do you cook scented urine? Sous pide?

    73. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:49

      Today in Mark Hemingway butthurt, http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/insufferable-portland_631919.html

    74. John Revolta said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:52

      Y’know, I was gonna order some asparagus in a restaurant last night, but then I remembered,
      there’s no place like home for the hollandaise.

    75. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 1:58

      Proof that there is a god and she has a nasty sense of humor: http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/wife-turns-cold-shoulder-va-state-del

    76. not a gator said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:03

      I know. Let’s invite the Inquisition to try dead Mormons for heresy and then burn them in effigy. It’s not their real corpses, so anyone who gets offended is a thin-skinned pantywaist who hates religious freedom, amirite?

    77. Interrobang said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:09

      Thanks, Pup, I just laughed so hard at that headline my eyes hurt now. I think S, N! is Slashdotting the article itself, though.

    78. Interrobang said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:11

      My boyfriend said, “I guess it’s Sadlydotted,” but he’s much funnier than I am, being English and all.

    79. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:11

      Let’s invite the Inquisition to try dead Mormons for heresy and then burn them in effigy.

      I like the cut of your jib, young man!

    80. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:32

      I like the cut of your jib, young man!

      Knowing you, I imagine you’d prefer his jib uncut.

    81. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:43

      I have other reasons, but this is one I witnessed, today.
      .

    82. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:51

      I have other reasons, but this is one I witnessed, today.

      But can you mount a gun rack on a Vespa?

      I’m being serious, for once!

    83. vacuumslayer said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:55

      My boyfriend said, “I guess it’s Sadlydotted,” but he’s much funnier than I am, being English and all.

      I dated a couple of English dudes and was always proud I could keep up with the funny, even out-funny them. It is a skill.

    84. wiley said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:59

      That Oliphant cartoon is funny, John. I’d already seen the video and, uh, wow.I have a hard time dismissing the idea that he’s on some really heavy prescription drugs to get him through the primaries, perhaps the classic uppers/downers routine. That didn’t look like a natural high. The “I Love Michigan” state is worthy of a term such as “tripping” or “jonesing” or “robo-tripping”, you get the idea.

    85. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 3:02

      My boyfriend said, “I guess it’s Sadlydotted,” but he’s much funnier than I am, being English and all.

      Nah, they’re not actually funnier, it’s just that they speak funny.

    86. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 3:03

      Knowing you, I imagine you’d prefer his jib uncut.

      TRIGGER!

    87. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 3:08

      TRIGGER!

      That mean he’s hung like Roy Rogers’ horse?

      I dated a couple of English dudes and was always proud I could keep up with the funny, even out-funny them. It is a skill.

      I briefly dated an English girl who was working as a nanny for a summer. I even wrote a poem about her.

      Claire, au pair,
      O Saxon fair,
      With flaxen hair-
      Claire.

    88. not a gator said,

      February 26, 2012 at 3:45

      Today in Mark Hemingway butthurt, http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/insufferable-portland_631919.html

      Never have so many flowery words been devoted to a thesis so unutterably stupid.

      Portland is featured over and over in the NYT because it is–or has become–a playground of rich trust fund babies. That is why it is full of small restaurants with “incredibly good” food that keeps getting written up in national print media. Must be nice to be a food writer with a travel budget or a travel writer for the NYT. This is the Hometown Tattler for the UWS. They do weekly features on Mediterranean getaways and the wine-growing region of California. Portland has, shall we say, arrived.

    89. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 26, 2012 at 3:55

      Sunday morning orgy services start at 6:09!

      Meh. Too early after those late Saturday night “worship” sessions with the Holy Tequila sacrament.

    90. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 26, 2012 at 3:59

      More people what needs a good Garden Weasel fuckin’.

      I keep thinking that it will eventually reach a point where folks will actually be pissed off about shit like this, and at the right people, but I just don’t know.

      How many “Fuck you, peons” does it take to bring out the cliffotines?

    91. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:03

      But can you mount a gun rack on a Vespa?

      I’m being serious, for once!

      Oh, fuck yeah!

      And I don’t ride a Vespa. That’s so played.
      .

    92. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:03

      Sunday morning orgy services start at 6:09!

      Also, too: You and your 09ism.

    93. vacuumslayer said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:20

      B^4, I ALWAYS liked the name “Claire.”

      It’s fucking classy as shit.

    94. vacuumslayer said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:22

      I dream
      Of Jeannie
      She’s a light
      Brown hare

    95. S. cerevisiae said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:23

      Obligatory for Claire: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EPP3gkh_00

    96. Alkonholics Anonymous said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:29

      “Consent from new-borns? ”

      That’s how Catholics do it. Mother and Father (or Catholic guardian figure) affirms for the child that s/he renounces Satan and the infant is baptized in the font.

      “Yes, Father, I swear he’ll totally renounce Satan.”

    97. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:32

      But can you mount a gun rack on a Vespa?

      I had to look that one up. The weapon mounted on the Vespa is a 75mm recoilless rifle. That was actually used by French airborne troops in Algeria.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vespa_150_TAP

    98. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:34

      That’s how Catholics do it. Mother and Father (or Catholic guardian figure) affirms for the child that s/he renounces Satan and the infant is baptized in the font.

      “Yes, Father, I swear he’ll totally renounce Satan.”

      Oh yeah, one of the finest bits of film ever made, the baptism sequence in The Godfather.

    99. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:36

      Obligatory for Claire:

      The funniest description I’ve ever read of a woman was a Youtube comment about Cindy Wilson: “She’s so hot. She looks like both Laverne and Shirley.”

    100. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:39

      The church in my small home town (pop. ~5000, FOUR Catlick churches) refused my request to be removed from their rolls. “But you were baptized in the church! You were confirmed in the church!” I suggested that both events could be annulled if i returned the water by pissing in the baptismal font. They relented.

    101. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:40

      There was a Benedictine convent there also. Too.

    102. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:43

      I never threatened or offered to piss in (nor even on) the sisters. They did have lovely grounds on which I occasionally watered the shrubberies while passing through late at night.

    103. Alkonholics Anonymous said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:45

      Adding that Catholics reaffirm their baptismal promises-by-proxy during the ritual known as confirmation. For me, that happened during “young adulthood”, also known as “fuck this God shit, it makes zero sense emprically”

      Thanks, Jesuits!

    104. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:45

      I never threatened or offered to piss in (nor even on) the sisters.

      We know that’s not how you roll.

    105. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:50

      I had to look that one up. The weapon mounted on the Vespa is a 75mm recoilless rifle.

      Pretty freakin’ badass, innit?
      .

    106. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:53

      Pretty freakin’ badass, innit?

      That might just make the SUVs respect you in traffic.

    107. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 4:57

      That might just make the SUVs respect you in traffic.

      I don’t usually have much trouble with that. Someone following too close? Usually just a glance back at them, if they’re not buried in their iPhone screen does the trick. Sometimes a one-armed shrug. In rare cases, I pull off and let the asshat get ahead of me, although in city traffic, there’s nothing going to get in front of me that doesn’t say Kawasaki on it.
      .

    108. EnfantTerrible said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:18

      Thanks for the kind words, Fenwick. I do comment from time to time, but I feel way out of my league here. Btw, Catholics do not baptize fetuses, because their rules state that the entity being baptized must have the form of a human being*. Or so says my Catholic-educated wife.

      * I see much opportunity for hilarity here.**

      ** Can Eugene Volokh’s blow-up doll be baptized?***

      *** Sady no! It’s a blow-up sheep!

    109. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:37

      Can Eugene Volokh’s blow-up doll be baptized?***

      *** Sady no! It’s a blow-up sheep!

      No self-respecting blow-up doll would allow Eugene Volokh anywhere near them.

    110. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:38

      Thanks for the kind words, Fenwick. I do comment from time to time, but I feel way out of my league here.

      Please don’t feel that way, there’s plenty of yuks to be had at the expense of wingnuts.

    111. Fenwick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:40

      From Pup’s link to the Weakly Standard’s hatchet-job

      Portland is quietly closing in on San Francisco as the American city that has most conspicuously taken leave of its senses.

      Feature, not a bug.

    112. Mat said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:43

      I just want Ronald Reagan’s corpse exhumed so we can throw a pie in his dead face.

      Sady no! It’s a blow-up sheep!

      Or a blow-up hamster.

    113. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:45

      the American city that has most conspicuously taken leave of its senses

      I always though that was Houston. I mean, have you ever been there? You would have to be insane to live there. Portland is merely a bit quirky.

    114. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:46

      Or a blow-up hamster.

      For a proper “fit”, I think it would have to be a blow-up lady bug.

    115. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:47

      Portland is quietly closing in on San Francisco as the American city that has most conspicuously taken leave of its senses.

      If he’s talking about increasing gentrification and the pricing out of interesting people in the real estate market, he may be on to something.

      I don’t think that’s what he’s talking about.

    116. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 5:52

      Also, regarding Portland… does the article have something to do with that show? (Can’t be arsed clicking) I strongly suspect that it involves that Portlandia show.

      Do they discuss anything genuine, anything that doesn’t involve television or pop culture? They are so infantile, so lacking in imagination, that they have to relate everything to junk culture. For all they claim to hate it, they’re nothing without it.

    117. wiley said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:01

      I lived in Houston. There is a lot there, and I do love the skyline and stores being opened 24/7, but it’s not a place I wanted to stay because of the heat. I left the whole state for that reason. It had been going steadily downhill since Bush anyway so I don’t actually miss the state I grew up in.

    118. S. cerevisiae said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:06

      Yeah, heaven forbid our cities become like Portland !!!!

    119. Fenwick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:07

      BBBB: About half of the article bemoans strip clubs and similar ‘cultural issues’. It begins with a couple of paras about Portlandia and sprinkles refs from it into the article. There are also several paras near the end about how residents in Brooklyn are a-skeered of Portlandization. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

    120. John Revolta said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:30

      Yeah, Brooklyn was well on its way to being TrustFundLand when I left NYC back in 2004. Forget Williamsburg- guys with big glasses were buying brownstones in Bed- Stuy, for Chrissake.

      Seems like the Times oughta be a little more on top of stuff that’s happening in it’s own backyard.

    121. John Revolta said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:32

      its. Bugger.

    122. N__B said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:37

      Since I’m leaving College Station in less then 8-1/2 hours, let me just mention that the GWB Presidential Lieberry is located between the airport and the A&M experimental farm.

    123. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:41

      BBBB: About half of the article bemoans strip clubs and similar ‘cultural issues’.

      I wonder if he bemoans the strip clubs of Tampa.

    124. Fenwick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 6:47

      EnfantTerrible My apologies; you have indeed been an active commentator: I was poking around in the last several threads and found you in multiple conversations … not just snark, but substantive contributions.

      I could blame my forgetfulness on the aging process. (I’ll turn 63 in a couple of weeks.) But it’s much easier to blame Hitler. Also WordPress. Also the Debil.

    125. EnfantTerrible said,

      February 26, 2012 at 7:10

      No worries, Fenwick. As a member of your age group, I can relate. I may be the most forgettable commenter in the history of Sadly, No!

      Most of what’s coming out of wingnuttia these days is pre-snarked. For your convenience, of course.

    126. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 8:04

      Portland likes to crow about our #1 ranking of strip clubs per capita. Also breweries. And yes, you fekkin idjit, miles between farm and table IS a good metric of “greenness.”

    127. M. Bouffant said,

      February 26, 2012 at 8:52

      services start at 6:09!

      Where 0 = Lucky Pierre

    128. not a gator said,

      February 26, 2012 at 9:29

      BBBB: About half of the article bemoans strip clubs and similar ‘cultural issues’.

      I wonder if he bemoans the strip clubs of Tampa.

      Well, you haven’t been in a real strip club until you’ve been to a strip club in Connecticut just off the Interstate highway.

    129. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 14:42

      I lived in Houston.

      Nice state. Unfortunately it’s full of Texans.

    130. Lurking Canadian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 15:20

      N__B said,
      February 26, 2012 at 6:37

      Since I’m leaving College Station in less then 8-1/2 hours, let me just mention that the GWB Presidential Lieberry is located between the airport and the A&M experimental farm.

      Something something flying…something something bullshit…dammit I’m sure there’s a joke there but I can’t find it.

    131. East Porterville Putz said,

      February 26, 2012 at 15:51

      I live directly acrossed the street from the city graveyard, so it’s easy for me to posthumorusly baptize dead people of all sorts of religions.

    132. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 16:30

      Portland is quietly closing in on San Francisco as the American city that has most conspicuously taken leave of its senses.

      Is Portland now building neighborhoods on very steep hills or am I missing something?

    133. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 16:37

      Is Portland now building neighborhoods on very steep hills or am I missing something?

      I think it means they let gay people live there and maybe they even have mass transit. Horrors!

    134. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 17:50

      BBBB: About half of the article bemoans strip clubs and similar ‘cultural issues’.

      I wonder if he bemoans the strip clubs of Tampa.

      Or Houston, which may be the world’s capital for such entertainment venues.

    135. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 17:54

      I just stumbled across this awesome song parody.
      http://world.std.com/~mhuben/plofker.html

      I am the very model of a modern Libertarian:
      I teem with glowing notions for proposals millenarian,
      I’ve nothing but contempt for ideologies collectivist
      (My own ideas of social good tend more toward the Objectivist).
      You see, I’ve just discovered, by my intellectual bravery,
      That civic obligations are all tantamount to slavery;
      And thus that ancient pastime, viz., complaining of taxation,
      Assumes the glorious aspect of a war for liberation!

      [Chorus:]
      You really must admit it’s a delightful revelation:
      To bitch about your taxes is to fight for liberation!

      I bolster up my claims with lucubrations rather risible
      About the Founding Fathers and the market’s hand invisible;
      In fact, my slight acquaintance with the fountainhead Pierian
      Makes me the very model of a modern Libertarian!

      [Chorus:]
      His very slight acquaintance with the fountainhead Pierian
      Makes him the very model of a modern Libertarian!

      All “public wealth” is robbery, we never will accede to it;
      You have no rights in anything if you can’t show your deed to it.
      (But don’t fear repossession by our Amerind minority:
      Those treaties aren’t valid—Uncle Sam had no authority!)
      We realize whales and wolves and moose find wilderness quite vital,
      And we’ll give back their habitats—if they can prove their title.
      But people like unspoiled lands (we too will say “hooray” for them),
      So we have faith that someone else will freely choose to pay for them.

      [Chorus:]
      Yes, when the parks are auctioned it will be a lucky day for them—
      We’re confident that someone else will freely choose to pay for them!

      We’ll guard the health of nature by self-interest most astute:
      Since pollution is destructive, no one ever will pollute.
      Thus factories will safeguard our communities riparian—
      I am the very model of a modern Libertarian!

      [Chorus:]
      Yes, factories will safeguard our communities riparian,
      He is the very model of a modern Libertarian!

      In short, when I can tell why individual consumers
      Know best who should approve their drugs and who should treat their tumors;
      Why civilized existence in its intricate confusion
      Will be simple and straightforward, absent government intrusion;
      Why markets cannot err within the system I’ve described,
      Why poor folk won’t be bullied and why rich folk won’t be bribed,
      And why all vast inequities of power and position
      Will vanish when I wave my wand and utter “COMPETITION!”—

      [Chorus:]
      He’s so much more exciting than a common politician,
      Inequities will vanish when he hollers “Competition!”

      —And why my lofty rhetoric and arguments meticulous
      Inspire shouts of laughter and the hearty cry, “Ridiculous!”,
      And why my social theories all seem so pre-Sumerian—
      I’ll be the very model of a modern Libertarian!

      [Chorus:]
      His novel social theories all seem so pre-Sumerian—
      He is the very model of a modern Libertarian!

    136. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 17:59

      Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 2:43

      I have other reasons, but this is one I witnessed, today.
      .

      Now that is funny. Well done, JP!

      That’s a neat little blog you have there. I particularly enjoyed the picture of the Loveless cafe sign. That’s my surname in my human form (it’s good to be a were-pig).

    137. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:02

      “I think it means they let gay people live there”

      Nah, I still think its the steep hills.

    138. El Manquécito said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:08

      Gocart: that is a thing of awesomeness.

    139. tigris said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:09

      I find it hard to get upset about “posthumous baptisms” by Mormons of Jews, whether Holocaust victims or otherwise.

      No wonder he’s not upset, he’s got the same hubris that the Mormons have. I find it hard to give a shit about whether he thinks other people should be upset about something that clearly upset them.

    140. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:10

      I always pictured Volokh as a crusty old man. Wonder what the hell happened to him to make him that old inside.

      Perhaps he has a portrait of an exceptionally horrible old fart in his attic.

    141. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:13

      Then we can gay marry them to fishmen.

      I’m in your debt, B^4. That video is perfect crystalline awesomeness.

    142. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:21

      No wonder he’s not upset, he’s got the same hubris that the Mormons have.

      A total indifference to the well-being of your fellow humans, combined with overweening arrogance and ideological rigidity really are the quintessence of libertarianism.

    143. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:27

      A total indifference to the well-being of your fellow humans, combined with overweening arrogance and ideological rigidity really are the quintessence of libertarianism.

      Asperger’s, thy name is libertarian.

    144. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:27

      I lived in Houston.

      You call that living? I resided there for a while. Hated it.

    145. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:34

      I too had pictured Volokh as a wizened, crusty (but not benign) curmudgeon. Seeing what he really looks like is no surprise. How many of his type have we seen? Somewhat smarter than the average kid, read Ayn Rand when he was 14 and identified strongly because no one recognized his greatness. Continued to get an education but never had any emotional development from then.

    146. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:39

      That’s a neat little blog you have there. I particularly enjoyed the picture of the Loveless cafe sign.

      Oh, well, thanks! I have several more normal shots of that sign, if you would like one in large format for printing. I get out there fairly often.
      .

    147. El Manquécito said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:39

      You call that living?

      How do I dislike ye Houston? Let me count the ways. Traffic, humidity, all the usual, but the worst of Tejas, distilled. If it hadn’t been for the Ginger Man I would have sunk into the slough of despond. Even though it’s in Houston that is a really good bar. The Dallas one is good too, the one in NYC, not so much.

    148. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:46

      The 25 Most Inappropriate Things An Objectivist Can Say During Sex

      http://www.savethehumans.com/instantgrat/thelist/objectivist_sex/index.shtml

    149. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 18:57

      2.”I appreciate the thought, but I consider it an act of self sacrifice for you to swallow.”

      5.”Emotions are the mind’s near-instantaneous evaluation of a perceived fact or idea as either good or bad for the individual. Hence, my wet panties.”

      13.”Contradictions do not exist. You can’t insert it there and there at the same time. Wait a second. Open up the top drawer of my nightstand.”

      15.”No, you’re not my first. But you are the first man whose penis has made me understand the role of measurement omission in the act of concept formation.”

      18.”No, I don’t need Viagra. It’s this damn non-objective pornography.”

      21.”You selfish bitch! You greedy, selfish bitch! What? You don’t like my pillow talk?”

      23.”Don’t construe my liking that as an instance of the sanction of the victim. Now excuse me while I wipe off my face.”

    150. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:02

      How do I dislike ye Houston?

      My absolute least favorite city in the world. I do not hate cities per se, as I lived in Chicago for 12 years and loved it. I also like visiting San Francisco and Seattle a lot.

    151. Whale Chowder said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:19

      I also like visiting San Francisco and Seattle a lot.

      Clearly you’ve taken leave of your senses.

    152. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:24

      Clearly you’ve taken leave of your senses.

      That presumes I was ever in possession of them.

    153. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:28

      My absolute least favorite city in the world.

      Hell, I always found Houston to be one of the more bearable Texas cities.

      I have to assume you’ve never visited Dallas. Dallas citizens vacation in Hell; it’s so much nicer there.

    154. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:31

      I have to assume you’ve never visited Dallas.

      Having spent the first 35 years in Oklahoma, I indeed have been there and it is also pretty high on my list of least favorite places.

      Dallas citizens vacation in Hell;

      Houston citizens vacation in Dallas for the same reason.

    155. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:32

      Hell, I always found Houston to be one of the more bearable Texas cities.

      You obviously have never been to Austin or San Antonio.

    156. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:36

      Except for the heat, humidity, bugs, traffic and extreme texasness, Houston isn’t so bad.

    157. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:39

      You obviously have never been to Austin or San Antonio.

      My enjoyment of Austin was tempered by my two (count ‘em, two) weeks as a Longhorn.

      I must say I had forgotten about San Antonio. Went there on a business trip, wandered down to the basement of the hotel, and found myself in an NPR radio show (Riverwalk Jazz). Talking to Jim Cullum’s bass player was amazing. Then wandered onto a below-street level sidewalk, and when I emerged I was staring at the Alamo. Amazing place.

    158. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:44

      The only time I was in Houston was in 2000, days after the flood. They were still pumping water out of underpasses. It was hot, humid and not a bit of fun.
      .

    159. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:44

      I have to disagree with you about the traffic part, Major Kong. I loved driving in Houston. People GO! When the traffic light turns green, the first ten cars roll in unison. Here in Little Rock, assuming the guy at the front of the line notices the light changing, the second guy in line must wait until the first guy is at least 6 car lengths away before he takes off, same for third guy, same for fourth, although the fourth guy rarely makes it through the intersection before the light goes yellow.

      Only place I’ve ever been intimidated by traffic is Boston. Those guys are hardcore.

    160. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:46

      Oh, well, thanks! I have several more normal shots of that sign, if you would like one in large format for printing. I get out there fairly often.

      JP: Thank you very much! That would be awesome!

    161. jim said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:49

      Volokh is Pantload with contacts, soap, a shave & a bit more typing stamina. Four paragraphs & change to say “I don’t give a fuck about X” – which then gets circa 300 comments about … whatever X-related sundry drivel the comments are about.

      Also, his taste in ties is an existential offense to my personal beliefs!

    162. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:51

      My enjoyment of Austin was tempered by my two (count ‘em, two) weeks as a Longhorn.

      As a Sooner grad, I can understand how that might distort your appreciation of an otherwise fine city.

      I loved driving in Houston. People GO!

      Not on the interminable freeways they don’t and those are really the only way to navigate the cancerous sprawl that is the Houston metroplex.

    163. acrannymint said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:51

      I just stumbled across this awesome song parody

      If only it was set to music.

    164. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:53

      Only place I’ve ever been intimidated by traffic is Boston. Those guys are hardcore.

      My neighborhood in Chicago (up by Wrigley Field) was like that. Driving as a blood sport. Friends who were natives of the city would not drive there. I kind of enjoyed it at times.

    165. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 19:58

      Only place I’ve ever been intimidated by traffic is Boston. Those guys are hardcore.

      Memphis is worse. Boston drivers are aggressive but they’re at least predictable.

      In Memphis they just seem to do crazy shit for no apparent reason.

    166. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:04

      In Memphis they just seem to do crazy shit for no apparent reason.

      That’s pretty much all of Tennessee, actually.

      And yes, I ride a scooter, here.
      .

    167. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:09

      You’re a braver man than I.

      I rode two wheels back before the SUV, cell phone and Starbucks were invented.

    168. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:12

      In Memphis they just seem to do crazy shit for no apparent reason.

      True dat, but years of Arkansas interstate driving has me pretty well trained along those lines.

      Boston was intimidating because as soon as I showed mere hesitation, not even braking but dropping 2 mph in speed, the resulting cacophony of horns was epic. I remember going full speed going around in a roundabout (“round and rounders” we call ‘em) about 4 times trying to read the 5000 highway signs trying to find which one I needed to take

    169. LittlePig said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:14

      My neighborhood in Chicago (up by Wrigley Field) was like that. Driving as a blood sport

      Oh man, I gotta drive to my next Cub hajj. That sounds like my kinda fun.

    170. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:17

      My “airport car” that I keep in Memphis is a rusty, 1994 Buick Roadmaster.

      Last of the big, rear-wheel-drive GMs. 5.7 Liter LT1 V8, same engine that Corvettes had back then.

      It pretty much says “Don’t mess with me, I have nothing to lose. I’ll let you hit me and you’ll be the worse for it.”

    171. acrannymint said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:23

      Only place I’ve ever been intimidated by traffic is Boston. Those guys are hardcore.
      My brother used to say driving in Boston was like playing chicken.

    172. acrannymint said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:25

      That’s pretty much all of Tennessee, actually.
      I drove down from Maryland to visit my sister who lives in a small town west of Nashville and I was amazed that if I came up on someone going slower than myself, they actually pulled onto the shoulder to let me pass. Of course that was 16+ years ago.

    173. acrannymint said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:27

      on a side note, the drive through Virginia on 81S sucks

    174. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:28

      I drove down from Maryland to visit my sister who lives in a small town west of Nashville and I was amazed that if I came up on someone going slower than myself, they actually pulled onto the shoulder to let me pass.

      1.) Rural mail carrier;
      2.) Scooter pilot.
      .

    175. jim said,

      February 26, 2012 at 20:48

      Only place I’ve ever been intimidated by traffic is Boston. Those guys are hardcore.

      I recall a jocular anecdote about a visitor to the Phillipines having to take a taxi ride across downtown Manila.

      Sidewalks? They’re basically bonus lanes.

    176. posthumously designated Super Bowl MVP said,

      February 26, 2012 at 21:08

      New Mexico is a great place to drive with your life tied in a knot between your teeth. Happy Hour drink discounts are legislatively prohibited. You have devised some wonderful comeuppance for the LDSers, but what about the reactionary apologists like Volokh-yuk-yuk? Do those schmoes get any backsplash for their implied denigration of Jewish piety? This denigration would be finished overnight if the LDS President would issue an edict, its what he does. For instance, he’s issued an edict banning scooter trash from the celestial kingdom.

    177. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 21:21

      I drove down from Maryland to visit my sister who lives in a small town west of Nashville and I was amazed that if I came up on someone going slower than myself, they actually pulled onto the shoulder to let me pass.

      People used to do that in rural Texas. That was 20 years ago. Don’t know if they still do.

    178. gocart mozart said,

      February 26, 2012 at 21:56

      Not to interrupt this interesting discussion about driving habits in various localities, but I have been working all day on my other blog. What do y’all think? http://aynrandhatedjesus.blogspot.com/

    179. Major Kong said,

      February 26, 2012 at 22:00

      It’s Randtastic!

    180. ahem said,

      February 26, 2012 at 22:06

      Volokh: proving that you can be a high-functioning autistic and a law professor.

    181. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 22:09

      Volokh: proving that you can be a high-functioning autistic and a law professor.

      Hell, Reynolds and Althouse long ago proved that you do not even have to have a functioning brain for that.

    182. Suezboo said,

      February 26, 2012 at 22:13

      Wow, gocart, you could start a whole anti-Rand movement all by yourself. Amazing amount of material, very nicely put together.Congrats. I hope you get some libertarian visitors.

    183. Bitter Scribe said,

      February 26, 2012 at 22:17

      The worst place I ever drove was Tampa. Half the drivers were hyper-macho young dudes in low riders, half were old farts in Focuses. Not a good combination.

    184. Pupienus said,

      February 26, 2012 at 23:09

      Took a peek at Voluck pic again. One word comes to mid: putz.

    185. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 23:11

      I hope you get some libertarian visitors.

      I hope he has stocked up on cleaning supplies. He will need them to deal with all the exploding heads if they do come.

    186. DrDick said,

      February 26, 2012 at 23:12

      One word comes to mid: putz.

      I think you flatter him there.

    187. S. cerevisiae said,

      February 27, 2012 at 0:02

      Best headline ever: http://weldbham.com/secondfront/2012/02/24/poll-santorum-comes-from-behind-in-alabama-three-way/

    188. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 27, 2012 at 0:26

      Somewhat smarter than the average kid, read Ayn Rand when he was 14 and identified strongly because no one recognized his greatness.

      Somewhat smarter than the average kid, but nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is.

    189. gocart mozart said,

      February 27, 2012 at 0:43

      Awesomely cute. Kids re-enact Black knight scene from Mony Python;
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxIY4rangb8&feature=player_embedded

    190. Pupienus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 1:12

      Best headline ever

      AHEM! AHEM I SAY!

    191. Pupienus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 1:13

      Somewhat smarter than the average kid, but nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is.

      Well yeah, I figured that was implicit.

    192. N__B said,

      February 27, 2012 at 1:39

      extreme texasness,

      While sitting in the hotel bar yesterday, I observed the father of the bride in the gaudy, just-out-of-their-teens wedding party to be wearing a texas-flag bowtie and texas-flag cummerbund with his jeans and cowboy boots.

    193. Pupienus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 1:42

      Yo Substance! I got you a present.

    194. El Manquécito said,

      February 27, 2012 at 1:49

      Wow, ain’t that right up Subby’s, er, alley.

    195. N__B said,

      February 27, 2012 at 1:53

      I’d have to be dumber than santorum to click that link.

    196. bbkf said,

      February 27, 2012 at 2:00

      wow…volokh is amazing…his method of taking one sentence and repeating it in slighty different ways really works…

    197. DrDick said,

      February 27, 2012 at 2:55

      his method of taking one sentence and repeating it in slighty different ways really works

      Repeating the same false and meaningless BS over and over really is the libertarian style of discourse. They all do it.

    198. N__B said,

      February 27, 2012 at 2:56

      Doesn’t “A = A” count as repeating the same bullshit twice in only one sentence?

    199. Alfred Korzybski said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:17

      Moreover, A is not A.

    200. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:35

      Repeating the same false and meaningless BS over and over really is the libertarian style of discourse. They all do it.

      Seeing as they model their discourse on a 60-odd page fictional rant from an overblown doorstop of a novel, they just can’t help it. Plus, their paymasters probably pay by the word.

    201. DrDick said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:37

      Plus, their paymasters probably pay by the word.

      True and when you only have two (really bad and stupid) actual ideas, it does take a lot of padding to make a conversation.

    202. Bitter Scribe said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:41

      NBA All-Star Game at the half: West 88, East 69.

      It’s like watching a Harlem Globetrotters game where both sides are simultaneously the Trotters and the Generals.

    203. Alfred Korzybski said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:47

      I they aren’t riding donkeys it’s not basketball worth watching.

    204. Pupienus Maximus IS Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:48

      Nymfail. Fuck.

    205. vacuumslayer said,

      February 27, 2012 at 3:54

      I LOLed at the kids doing the Black Knight. Thanks, gocart.

    206. Another Kiwi said,

      February 27, 2012 at 4:34

      I they aren’t riding donkeys it’s not basketball worth watching. I’m not watching basket ball with Bristol Black Donkeys, it’s a fucking travesty.

    207. S. cerevisiae said,

      February 27, 2012 at 5:12

      Sorry Pupienus. It would be so fun to be a headline writer now.

    208. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 5:15

      NBA All-Star Game at the half: West 88, East 69.

      Aren’t all NBA final scores something like 102 – 100 because sometime, 40 minutes ago when you got up to go to the bathroom somebody actually missed a shot?

    209. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 27, 2012 at 6:18

      Talk about shitty details.

    210. jim said,

      February 27, 2012 at 6:52

      Talk about shitty details.

      I bet he makes his mail handlers pay for their own nose-plugs.

    211. DrDick said,

      February 27, 2012 at 6:57

      I bet he makes his mail handlers pay for their own nose-plugs.

      But does he make his staff pay for their own hair shirts?

    212. Whale Chowder said,

      February 27, 2012 at 7:24

      Talk about shitty details.

      Do they have to bring their own sponges and pails?

    213. Golem Heart said,

      February 27, 2012 at 8:13

      For some reason I had an impression of Volokh as an older fellow, dignified, in spite of being unsound ideologically.

      Setting aside the toilet seat around his neck, I am nonplussed. He should begin to look more impressive at once.

    214. RWW said,

      February 27, 2012 at 8:18

      This guy is right. It’s time to forget about Mormon zombie souls and get incensed about real issues that have real impact on people’s lives like flag burning and saying ‘happy holidays’ instead of Merry Christmas.

    215. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 9:02

      It pretty much says “Don’t mess with me, I have nothing to lose. I’ll let you hit me and you’ll be the worse for it.”

      I used to have a $200 ’65 Dart that was my favorite car to drive in NYC. The basic rule of the road being, :Whoever gives less of a shit about their car goes first.” I always went first. Cabs even understood this. I’m pretty sure the cops even gave it wide berth. That car screamed “Go ahead. Hit me. You’ll be doing me a favor by making me get another car.” It was a fine car when it came time to, um… make room, to park as well.

      Driving a motorcycle in NY is batshit though. I’ve done a bunch of it, but also before the SUV became every other car on the road. New Orleans was somewhat better. They’re all drunk, but at least they’re mostly slow.

      Driving in Bahhston never bothered me that much, but I admit to avoiding the town as much as possible just on principle.

    216. John Revolta said,

      February 27, 2012 at 9:20

      Wow. Could Mittens possibly be any more tone deaf?

      I’m beginning to think he’s got money down on himself to lose.

    217. John Revolta said,

      February 27, 2012 at 9:36

      ’65 Dart

      Yeah, I had a string of Darts from the ’60s and ’70s. Great cars with lotsa heart.

    218. Chaps said,

      February 27, 2012 at 11:23

      John Revolta said,
      February 27, 2012 at 9:36

      ’65 Dart

      Yeah, I had a string of Darts from the ’60s and ’70s. Great cars with lotsa heart.

      I always wished I did. A buddy of mine had a ’63 Dart that was passed along to him from his sister, after it was passed along to her by their parents. It had well over 450,000 miles on it when he got negligent about adding oil to it because he was tired of the seat springs poking him in the ass.

      In the same era, I was going through one “Fix or Repair Daily”, “Fucked Over, Raw Deal!”, “Found on Road Dead” nightmare after another. Just luck of the draw—whatever was cheap when I needed another car.

    219. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 13:29

      Wow. Could Mittens possibly be any more tone deaf?

      One can only assume he’s going for the “if it pisses off the hippies” vote by driving home the 1% thing.

      Or he’s just a fucking moron in a bubble.

    220. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 13:34

      A Dart with a “slant six” motor was pretty much indestructible.

    221. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 13:38

      Wow. Could Mittens possibly be any more tone deaf?

      Only if he were Santorum, who seems to be racing to see who can alienate all but the hardest core base the fastest.

      Keep diggin’, boys.

    222. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 13:44

      A Dart with a “slant six” motor was pretty much indestructible.

      Oil starvation was nearly the only way to kill them. I broke the fan belt on mine and drove it for a week until the battery drained. It got a bit hot, but nothing blew up. It was winter, but still. I gather the ball joints were about the only other weak spot.

    223. Anonymous said,

      February 27, 2012 at 15:02

      I’m still running a slant six in one of my farm trucks. It might outlive me.

    224. El Manquécito said,

      February 27, 2012 at 15:57

      I was anonymous because of Tor.

    225. El Manquécito said,

      February 27, 2012 at 16:06

      You tell ‘em, Charlie.

    226. El Manquécito said,

      February 27, 2012 at 16:34

      Since it seems like I’m the only one here, I’ll agree with all those that thought Volokh would look a little more, ahh, authoritative.

      Also, too, I always preferred Valiants to Darts, better suspension, higher clearance. My brother had a Coronet, which also featured the slant six, that the C and the o had fallen off, making it a Roné.

    227. actor212 said,

      February 27, 2012 at 17:20

      Volokh only wants Frank baptized so he can have sex with her without guilt

    228. actor212 said,

      February 27, 2012 at 17:22

      Yeah, I had a string of Darts from the ’60s and ’70s. Great cars with lotsa heart.

      I actually saw a ’68 Dart last night on the LIE, done up in Joker Purple. Awesome sound when it accelerated.

    229. actor212 said,

      February 27, 2012 at 17:23

      Driving a motorcycle in NY is batshit though.

      Clearly, you were the guy who left his muffler on.

      The ONE guy…

    230. El Manquécito said,

      February 27, 2012 at 18:05

      I actually saw a ’68 Dart last night on the LIE

      In the mid sixties, when John Coltrane was living on LI he got flush enough to buy a new car: a Dodge Dart. I always liked the image of being on the BQE and looking over and seeing God himself driving a Dart in the next lane.

    231. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 18:57

      Driving a motorcycle in NY is batshit though.

      Clearly, you were the guy who left his muffler on.

      Funny how I never see any of the “loud pipes save lives” people ever wearing a helmet.

    232. actor212 said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:02

      Funny how I never see any of the “loud pipes save lives” people ever wearing a helmet.

      If only for their hearing.

      In NYC, they stop you quick if you don’t. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone on a beast not wearing a helm.

    233. Pupienus Maximus IS Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:11

      My brother had a Coronet, which also featured the slant six, that the C and the o had fallen off, making it a Roné

      By removing and replacing the lettering I rechristened my 64 Rambler “mable.” That car had a great heater.

    234. Thread Bear said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:14

      Loud Pipes (Save Lives)

      ‘Cause it’s expected of me.

    235. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:15

      . I can’t remember the last time I saw someone on a beast not wearing a helm.

      It’s optional in Ohio. My highly unscientific observation is:

      Gold Wing and BMW riders – pretty much 100% wear helmets.
      Sport Bike riders – 60% to 70%
      Harley/Harley look-alike riders – maybe 10% wear helmets

    236. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:26

      I recall when they repealed mandatory helmets in Pennsylvania. The first day of legalhelmetless riding the president or chairman or whatever of the group that organized the effort went for a celebratory ride. Crashed. Died of a head injury.

      I can’t watch the vid on iPad so I’ll just say this: loud bikes save lives is bullshit. Just like most Harley rider “wisdom” it has nothing to do with reality and everything to do with image.

    237. actor212 said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:27

      Harley/Harley look-alike riders – maybe 10% wear helmets

      Hell, even the local Straight Satans wear the old German kind!

    238. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:34

      Those minimally legal head coverings favored by Harley riders are just about useless in action. Once again, image is the most important thing. There’s a story of a high ranking Harley exec saying “We don’t sell motorcycles. What we sell is the opportunity for a middle aged nobody to don a costume and have people be afraid of them. ” or something like that.

      FWIW, I’ve been riding, avidly and frequently, for almost 40 years. I’d guess I’ve done maybe 5 miles helmetless, total.

    239. Steerpike said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:48

      “Loud pipes saves lives” truly is bullshit. All the noise from straight pipes goes out the back. You don’t hear them coming; you hear them passing.

      I Like to roll down the windows and say things like “Nice bike–sorry about your penis!” The generally nod and smile, not being able to hear anything over their life-support equipment.

      One of these days I’m likely to be shot by a lip-reader.

    240. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 27, 2012 at 19:50

      I recall when they repealed mandatory helmets in Pennsylvania. The first day of legalhelmetless riding the president or chairman or whatever of the group that organized the effort went for a celebratory ride. Crashed. Died of a head injury.

      That was just last year, wasn’t it?
      .

    241. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 20:03

      Once again, image is the most important thing.

      It’s funny how these guys almost all look exactly alike. They might as well be wearing a uniform.

    242. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 20:18

      You tell ‘em, Charlie.

      A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar.

      He orders a beer.

    243. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 20:34

      I’d guess I’ve done maybe 5 miles helmetless, total.

      Many moons ago, I’d cross into a neighboring state with no hat law now and again just to try it. A rural, low traffic area. Interesting, but I can’t say I liked it much, especially above about 30 or so. For the eye and ear protection alone, I’d be a full-face wearer. Having bounced my head off the pavement once or twice with a helmet, I have no desire to do so without.

    244. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 20:35

      On. With a helmet on.

      heh

    245. actor212 said,

      February 27, 2012 at 20:49

      Having bounced my head off the pavement once or twice with a helmet [on], I have no desire to do so without.

      Hell, I’ve done that at 20 mph on grass on a bicycle and learned a painful lesson, and that was with the helmet on

    246. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:00

      It’s only going to keep getting stupider between now and November.

      The Sheriff’s a ni(clang)

    247. Helmut Monotreme said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:05

      I think the people who crow loudest about the helmet laws are also under the mistaken impression, that they are fantastically skilled motorcyclists. It’s the Dunning Kruger effect in action. Plus, even the fantastically talented motorcyclists among us still have to share the road with new drivers, ancient drivers, drunk drivers and distracted drivers. And they can all kill you when you are stopped at a stoplight, or swerve at you at the last second from across a double yellow, or drift wide on a blind turn. Granted, I don’t have 40 years of motorcycling under my belt, but the only time I have ridden my bike without a helmet was from one end of the underground parking garage to the other.

    248. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:23

      It’s only going to keep getting stupider between now and November.

      Wow. Just wow. I got nothin’

    249. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:30

      I recall when they repealed mandatory helmets in Pennsylvania. The first day of legalhelmetless riding the president or chairman or whatever of the group that organized the effort went for a celebratory ride. Crashed. Died of a head injury.

      That was just last year, wasn’t it?

      It was while I still lived there. Around 2003, as I recall.

    250. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:36

      Wow. Just wow. I got nothin’

      Wower.

    251. Marion in Savannah said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:47

      Wower, indeed SMG… From the 4th graf of that thing which is as far as I could make it before all of my brains trickled out of my ears:

      Thomas has become a powerful voice for his brand of constitutional conservatism and has proven himself a more devout believer in originalism than even Scalia. Today, it seems as if Scalia is more likely to follow Thomas.

      Wowest. Of course, if he were nominated it would get him the hell off the court… I don’t think you can be quite that overtly political while you’re still actually wearing the robe. But of course IANAL.

    252. Provider_UNE_WhoWantsVestmentsWithRacingStripes said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:48

      Wower.

      That’s all they got left??!!??

      Someone fell into a swimming pool of kool-ade.

      You really can’t get any more charming than ClarenceT, bastard oozes charisma.

      This of course makes me the real racist.
      .

    253. Marion in Savannah said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:48

      Well, it was actually the 5th graf, but my brains were trickling out so counting got harder.

    254. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:50

      It was while I still lived there. Around 2003, as I recall.

      Something similar happened last year, but I don’t recall where. I do remember remarking that the guy died for something he believed in… but that his belief was really fucking stupid.
      .

    255. Helmut Monotreme said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:50

      Of course, if he were nominated it would get him the hell off the court

      He’s never let the appearance of, or reality of, conflict of interest bother him before, why would he start now? His wife headed (still heads?) a major tea party group, and then there was the whole underpayment of taxes for enough years that cause anyone not on the supreme court to charged with tax evasion.

    256. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 27, 2012 at 21:54

      I enjoy occasionally looking through my spam folder. Used to be the sender’s names were amusing. Then it turned into mostly 884ght7 nonsense names. I was quite relieved when I just now saw something from “Sex Fuck Book.” It’s so refreshing.

    257. N__B said,

      February 27, 2012 at 22:08

      I was quite relieved when I just now saw something from “Sex Fuck Book.”

      Written by Sarah Palin, reaching her own level water-like, yes?

    258. Major Kong said,

      February 27, 2012 at 22:17

      Written by Sarah Palin, reaching her own level water-like, yes?

      She suffers from delusions of adequacy.

    259. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 27, 2012 at 22:57

      When They Came for Our Freedom, What Did You Do? Did You Say Anything?
      By Kathryn Jean Lopez
      February 27, 2012 3:21 P.M.

      There may be a vote this week Respect for the Rights of Conscience Act. Activists are sending out this list of senators who should be persuaded to vote for it.

      First they came for the brazen devils, and I did not speak out because I was not a brazen devil;
      Then they came for the quaggoth mutants, and I did not speak out because I was not a quaggoth mutant;
      Then they came for the blasphemers, and I did not speak out because I was not a blasphemer;
      Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.

    260. bbkf said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:04

      When They Came for Our Freedom, What Did You Do? Did You Say Anything?
      By Kathryn Jean Lopez

      once again, another craptastic post on nro wherein little or no work was required of the nro’er…

    261. Pryme said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:08

      Then they came for the quaggoth mutants, and I did not speak out because I was not a quaggoth mutant;

      My X-Men lore is a little rusty, but I believe the Scarlett Witch is to blame for that one.

    262. bbkf said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:20

      Activists are sending out this list of senators who should be persuaded to vote for it.

      also, i’m a little troubled by k-lo’s use of the word “persuaded”…does she mean by using enhanced interrogation techniques? or perhaps blackmail or bribery? or does she mean for readers to steadily call those numbers with such persistance that the senators will vote for the bill just to get the phone calls to stop?

      or does she mean that they should be persuaded to vote for it much like a parent persuades their child to eat their veggies…

      or is she just stating that through the normal democratic processes, constituents should be able to contact their representative, state their consent or opposition and then rest assured that their voice has been heard and said representative will vote the way they wish them to…if so, persuade is an odd term to use…

      i will just believe it is my first assumption and i will continue to picture her in a black leather bustier, fishnet stockings, patent leather stilletos, saucy biker cap, long red nails and one of those long cigarette holders…and a monocle…she must have a monocle…and a voice like sgt. schulz’s saying, ‘ve vill persuade them…’

    263. Whale Chowder said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:40

      i will continue to picture her in…

      YOU ARE SICK.

      Now please pass the icepick; I need to gouge out my mind’s eye.

    264. Golem Heart said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:48

      “In the mid sixties, when John Coltrane was living on LI he got flush enough to buy a new car: a Dodge Dart. I always liked the image of being on the BQE and looking over and seeing God himself driving a Dart in the next lane.”–El Manquécito

      Coltrane was such an earnest guy that I hafta imagine he took the decision seriously.

    265. bbkf said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:50

      YOU ARE SICK.

      ik,r?!?!

    266. paleotectonics said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:50

      From Mr. Substance,

      Then again, most people thought an inexperienced African-American often mistaken for a Muslim could never defeat presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton, much less be elected president.

      Holy christ wearing a thong, I got nuthin.
      Oh!
      Ummm.
      Nope, nothing came up. A bit of lunch, p’raps.

    267. paleotectonics said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:53

      i will just believe it is my first assumption and i will continue to picture her in a black leather bustier, fishnet stockings, patent leather stilletos, saucy biker cap, long red nails and one of those long cigarette holders…and a monocle…she must have a monocle…and a voice like sgt. schulz’s saying, ‘ve vill persuade them…’

      Ilse, She-Wolf of the AIP?

    268. bbkf said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:56

      Ilse, She-Wolf of the AIP?

      indeed…i’m glad you proved to be more strong of stomach than our friend mr. chowder…

    269. Pryme said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:56

      It’s only going to keep getting stupider between now and November.

      The Sheriff’s a ni(clang)

      Shorter: What’s he doing in the White House? He should be out in the fields!

      Seriously, though; “political rights?” So you have to level up like an RPG in order to be able to run for office? Either way, my standard response is: “If any of these arguments were valid, Hillary Clinton would have used them herself.”

    270. paleotectonics said,

      February 27, 2012 at 23:58

      Yes, that’s right, I’m an idiot. I saw bbkf’s description of Mistress K.Lo and ignoring the entire text of her post, the last description brought up Palin (Sarah).

      Any street cred having been officially pissed away, I need a drink. Fudge.

    271. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:03

      Yes, that’s right, I’m an idiot. I saw bbkf’s description of Mistress K.Lo and ignoring the entire text of her post, the last description brought up Palin (Sarah).

      way to walk it back, paleo…

    272. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:03

      Did you see my present to you, Mr. McGravitar?

    273. jim said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:04

      ‘ve vill persuade them…’

      HAWT!

      Persuading the senator … oh these kids with their crazy lingo for things these days!

    274. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:05

      Seriously, though; “political rights?” So you have to level up like an RPG in order to be able to run for office? Either way, my standard response is: “If any of these arguments were valid, Hillary Clinton would have used them herself.”

      also, too…aren’t these types of people the first to cast aspersions on what someone else perceives as a ‘right’? and that too many people* think that too many bullshit things are their rights?

      *yes, the usual suspects…

    275. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:06

      I need a drink. Fudge.

      i could seriously drink fudge right now…

    276. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:11

      today could be the day that i shoot the radio…soucheray is talking about the latest school shooting…and in his usual ham-handed way is confusing ‘being picked on’ with ‘bullying’…

      yes, you dumb fuck, we’ve all been picked on…but not all of us has been bullied…big difference…

    277. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:11

      i could seriously drink fudge right now…

      Settling for Jamesons, unless the Glen Morangie fairy showed up during th day and left a bottle under my pillow.

    278. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:12

      mmmmmmmmmmm…jamesons…

    279. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:16

      Priest keeping it classy.

    280. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:17

      i could seriously drink fudge right now…

      As long as it’s not santorum.

    281. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:22

      Jesus Christ, Why Do I Read News!?!

      After my drink, I need to go to Pitchfork Supply Warehouse. Anyone need anything?

    282. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:26

      Aaaaand I just checked Mr. Pup’s link.

      Dear FSM, as a species, we’s fucked.

    283. Major Kong said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:28

      After my drink, I need to go to Pitchfork Supply Warehouse. Anyone need anything?

      How about a couple torches?

    284. Chaps said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:35

      The Alaskan mulatto guy is one of those “Sovereign Citizen” whackadoodles. Obama, like any Negro, Mulatto, Woman, etc., is a “14th Amendment Citizen”, not the type of person who was able to vote when the Constitution was ratified, therefore he can’t run for office or vote.

      Can’t beat Coltrane on Long Island…. Here, there was Mark Lindsey of Paul Revere and the Raiders, who when he was briefly rich and famous, bought and wrecked five Lamborghini Miuras in a row. (He was the reason they wouldn’t sell the Countach to anyone they hadn’t dealt with before and knew by name.)

      Later, I would often see him tooling around in his yellow Lotus Europa—I’d give him a wide berth, I assure you.

    285. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:52

      this was our weekend movie watching list:

      bridesmaids (i know, finally!) loved it!
      moneyball…all three of us fell asleep
      paul…favorite line: Fuck-a-roo, that was the best titty-farting sleep I have ever had! new phrase to work into conversations: well isn’t that a bag of tits…

    286. gocart mozart said,

      February 28, 2012 at 0:59

      http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/02/27/bring-on-the-asteroid/
      Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releases “Tell All” book.

    287. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 1:15

      Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releases “Tell All” book.

      well, isn’t that a bag of tits?!?!

    288. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 28, 2012 at 1:29

      Then they came for the blasphemers, and I did not speak out because I was not a blasphemer

      I’m pretty sure you’re a blasphemer, old chum!

    289. 59 Les Paul said,

      February 28, 2012 at 1:37

      Boston? Chicago? Please. London. Sydney. That’ll keep your blood pressure from gettin’ too low.

    290. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 28, 2012 at 1:44

      I recall when they repealed mandatory helmets in Pennsylvania. The first day of legalhelmetless riding the president or chairman or whatever of the group that organized the effort went for a celebratory ride. Crashed. Died of a head injury.

      Just like that anti-seatbelt college Republican who was ejected from a vehicle because he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

      Freedumb is just another word for missing all the clues!

    291. tsam said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:01

      Howcome one creepy, superstitious freak gives a shit if another creepy, superstitious freak commits a creepy, superstitious act in their name?

      What SNOBS. Then again, they are trying to remake them in their own image, which, according to wingnuts, is only OK for them to do.

      I personally think the stink of baptism for the dead is pretty silly. It isn’t any dumber or more insulting than any of the other dumb and insulting shit they do.

    292. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:03

      I used to really hate the idea that we passed seatbelt laws and helmet laws, even though I would never drive or ride without those devices. I mean, hell, it’ll just get rid of stupid people, right?

      Unfortunately, just like my idea of only allowing people that believe in evolution to benefit from it (no flu shot for you, Mr. Churchy!), the unintended consequences (innocent dead passengers, children, neighbors, increased medical costs for everybody, etc.) make me grudgingly accept them.

    293. tsam said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:06

      I used to really hate the idea that we passed seatbelt laws and helmet laws, even though I would never drive or ride without those devices. I mean, hell, it’ll just get rid of stupid people, right?

      Speaking as the father of teenagers, I can tell you that teenagers, by and large, are more afraid of the consequences of a ticket for not wearing the seatbelt than the consequences of a crash. So….while I’m not huge on these kinds of regulations, it does benefit me to know that there is more of an incentive to wear the goddamn things than just my fatherly whining and lecturing.

    294. tsam said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:06

      To finish my thought–many of those stupid people are teenagers, who can’t really help being stupid.

    295. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:11

      To finish my thought–many of those stupid people are teenagers, who can’t really help being stupid.

      Its not teh stoopid – its the invincibility complex. Looking back, I don’t know how in hell I survived, and I was consideed a good kid. And of course, as an adult, I am paying in so, so many ways for thinking I’d never become an adult, in the sense of “I’ll be 17 ferever! W00t!!1!!”

    296. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:14

      Yeah, the “children” part of my unintended bit should be probably be expanded to include “children of idiots” and “idiot children.” Although I’m a bit dubious that we think kids are smart enough to actually drive, but not smart enough to put on a belt.

      I will also add that I always wore a seatbelt as a teen (before the law here), and required my friends to as well. A quick stomp on the brake pedal was all that was needed to encourage a reluctant stupid friend or two, and was also funny.

    297. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:18

      I will also add that I always wore a seatbelt as a teen (before the law here), and required my friends to as well.

      I lived in a box in middle of road.

    298. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:25

      HARRUMPH.

      Vancouver diners leave a very shabby impression

      My husband and I recently went to Vij’s restaurant to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I cannot fault our meal; it was hands down the nicest Indian cuisine I have ever tried and the service was impeccable. However, I have one major gripe and it is not with Vij’s, but with the appearance of the patrons.

      I was appalled at the overall dress code of almost everyone in the restaurant; I considered about 30 to 40 percent of the patrons to be dressed appropriately (for instance, not wearing a hat, running shoes, scruffy jeans, or a hooded sweatshirt). The gentleman at the table beside us was wearing running shoes, jeans, and a sports hat, which he kept on his head for the duration of his meal. Personally, I found this to be offensive, and the only thing that stopped me from saying something to him about his manners was my husband’s embarrassment.

      My husband and I have travelled extensively and both agree that Vancouver is the scruffiest city we have been to.

      If we can’t get dressed to enjoy a $150 meal, then where can we get dressed up? In order for this to change, restaurants need to start introducing dress codes.

      > Angela Foster / Vancouver

      Saw this in the local rag and Iiked it so much I took a picture of it.

    299. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:25

      Did you see my present to you, Mr. McGravitar?

      Heading upthread…

    300. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:29

      THANK YOU!

      I feel dumb for not having the idea of placing the thing that way in video footage. It’s not really that hard to do…

    301. tsam said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:31

      My husband and I have travelled extensively and both agree that Vancouver is the scruffiest city we have been to.

      Heh. Rrrrrright.

    302. RWW said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:35

      Someone was doing some reading on Wiki about “brokered” party conventions. He read the part about Republicans in 1916 settling on Charles Evans Hughes and thought to himself, “Gee, what if we could nominate a supreme court justice to run for president this time around…”. Then, he flashed on the obvious wingnut choice and concluded that Clarence Thomas would be the dream candidate. Smug and overjoyed at the brilliance of this idea, he treated himself to a fifth of Jack Daniels and used it to wash down a handful of vikes and then went off to work at The Daily Beast to write a column revealing his master plan to a receptive audience of idiots. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Adam Winkler.

    303. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:40

      RWW said,
      February 28, 2012 at 2:35

      Read it earlier. An absolute masterpiece of cocksuck.

    304. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:44

      If we can’t get dressed to enjoy a $150 meal, then where can we get dressed up?

      How about that little “dungeon” you and hubby have set up in the basement.

      The safe word is “uptight”…. nah, that’s the instruction.

    305. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:46

      Personally, I found this to be offensive, and the only thing that stopped me from saying something to him about his manners was my husband’s embarrassment.

      What a lucky lucky husband.

    306. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 2:49

      Made a great supper for the wife, watching BBT…yep, someone may need a safe word tonight, so thanks! B^4!

    307. N__B said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:06

      Embarrassing the husband.

    308. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:37

      Multiplying the deep sea bonefish.
      Nesting the requiem shark.
      Messing the dory.
      Sacking the anxiety.
      Terminating the gender basis.
      Swinging the pupfish.
      Commanding the love.
      Announcing the obsidian beast.
      Addressing the Goddess.
      Emptying the skeleton orc.
      Pinning the soul.
      Messing the stability.
      Attesting the controversy.
      Assassinating the lover.
      Accessing the mutation.
      Hurting the wonder.

    309. Bitter Scribe said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:37

      Personally, I found this to be offensive, and the only thing that stopped me from saying something to him about his manners was my husband’s embarrassment.

      I wonder if it’s the first time hubby has been “embarrassed” like that?

    310. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:37

      Can’t believe I’m posting a link to Renew America, but this lunacy is schadenfreudelicious. The best part is the last sentence, in which the author claims that shit and lube will save the faithful:

      I’m not sure about you, but if we can be spared the Tribulation by prayer, fasting…and Santorum, I’m all in.

      Hat-tip to Roy.

    311. Pupienus Maximus said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:44

      My husband and I have travelled extensively and both agree that Vancouver is the scruffiest city we have been to.

      When I lived in Austin the saying was “Formal means you wear socks.”

    312. Fenwick said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:50

      Freedumb is just another word for missing all the clues!

      BBBB has planted an earworm in my braanz. I will never again be able to listen to the chorus again without bursting into laughter. You should be ashamed of yourself, sir! Ashamed, I say!

    313. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:51

      The thing about Vij is that he’s usually there in his restaurant overseeing things in some baggy long-sleeved mostly-buttoned shirt that might reveal chest hair. Sometimes you might describe the shirt as Hawaiianesque. Angela Foster fuck you!

    314. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 3:52

      Not only was Lanning shown he was deserving of hell for contraception (despite the fact they used it to put off babies so that they could evangelize) but Nathan Payne, another main character, is converted when God gives him a vision of not only what the sons he fathered while sleeping around (and were killed by abortion) would have looked like, but of his two daughters “who had been destroyed because the pill did not allow them to adhere to [girlfriend] Gail’s uterine wall…the second day of their life” (Pierced, pg. 293).

      Adhering to the uterine wall.

    315. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:05

      Feelin’ good was easy lord, when he sang the blues

      Got a serious Jamesons under my ribcage, nice evening at home.

    316. tigris said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:18

      the only thing that stopped me from saying something to him about his manners was my husband’s embarrassment.

      There’s nothing so mannerly as publicly correcting a stranger’s manners, nor so romantic as paying so much attention to the appearance of another man at a “romantic” dinner.

    317. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:25

      ,,,nor so romantic as paying so much attention to the appearance of another man at a “romantic” dinner.

      She could be scoping out a third.

    318. tigris said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:31

      anti-Christ Obama-esque character with the fitting name of Harlan Gello (whose “Omega Center,” having eliminated many of the elderly and “retarded” are now applying the final solution to unenlightened clergy and priests)

      But MORMONS are the loonies.

    319. Fenwick said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:35

      paleo: The song hit me square on the funnybone.

    320. tigris said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:39

      She could be scoping out a third.

      Dom seeks naughty, filthy third to be OH SO PAINFULLY scrubbed clean.

    321. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:42

      anti-Christ Obama-esque character with the fitting name of Harlan Gello (whose “Omega Center,” having eliminated many of the elderly and “retarded” are now applying the final solution to unenlightened clergy and priests)

      Srsly?, this collection of mouth farts was written by Thomas Augustine O’Toole, an Irish Catholic, complete with multisiblingish family, from Notre Dame?

      I’ll be back, TvTropes has got to have a full section on this fellow alone.

      (If I’m not back by morning, I can prolly be found on the couch with my laptop on my chest and 275 tabs open)

    322. paleotectonics said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:48

      Fenwick – check out as much of Snider’s stuff as you can. He is an amazing storyteller and funny as hell, and can be, as well, poignant, rabblerousing, silly, pick yer poison.

    323. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      February 28, 2012 at 4:52

      Dom seeks naughty, filthy third to be OH SO PAINFULLY scrubbed clean.

      You were condescendingly sneering at all the other patrons at the restaurant. I was lounging in my scruffy jeans, running shoes and a “sports hat”. I noticed you staring at my bared chest (my hooded sweatshirt was still drying on teh clothesline from its monthly washing). You noticed I was staring at your b00bs, wondering why they also weren’t exposed. Let’s meet for coffee.

    324. N__B said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:07

      Dom seeks naughty, filthy third to be OH SO PAINFULLY scrubbed clean.

      Needs a waterproof nun’s habit.

    325. El Manquécito said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:15

      Needs a waterproof nun’s habit.

      Nah, I thought it was pretty funny as it was.

    326. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:19

      Catholicity

      ha, now the bobby mcgee earworm has been replaced by synchronicity…ain’t that a bag of tits?

    327. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:22

      Recipe plus zombie-aggravating picture.

    328. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:23

      hubbkf just played me the roger miller cover of bobby mcgee…nice!

    329. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:27

      and the only thing that stopped me from saying something to him about his manners was my husband’s embarrassment.

      I highly doubt she gives a flying fuck about her husband’s embarrassment, aside, perhaps, from when he drops trou. No, what stopped her was knowing full well that she would get a hearty “Go fuck yourself, you supercilious twunt.” and that everyone in the room would know how much she deserved it.

    330. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:28

      Needs a waterproof nun’s habit.

      Couple ‘o wetsuits?

    331. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:30

      Y’know Eugene Volokh really does look like he might be named Eugene.

    332. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:33

      sub, that recipe looks amazing! i might be able to lay my hands on some fenugreek at the local granary, but the lamb might be problematic…i have not seen it in the local butcher shops…

    333. Hogeye Grex said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:43

      Might not want to do that.

    334. N__B said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:46

      Y’know Eugene Volokh really does look like he might be named Eugene.

      I’ve told my father in law that using his actual name, Evgeny, is better than anglicizing it. He doubts me.

    335. gocart mozart said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:48

      Vagina!
      http://www.frontiersman.com/schools/under-wraps-wasilla-high-school-sculpture-covered-after-concerns-voiced/article_855dcbd2-5924-11e1-a773-0019bb2963f4.html

    336. El Manquécito said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:48

      Y’know Eugene Volokh really does look like he might be named Eugene.

      You know, I’ve been trying really hard not to go all lookist on the Volokh Conspiracy, but I hadn’t even thought of going namist.

    337. N__B said,

      February 28, 2012 at 5:54

      Vagina!

      Palin can’t be the model or else she’d have taken credit.

    338. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:05

      Vagina!

      maybe they can use it as a visual aid in their abstinence class…

    339. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:06

      ha ha…i find it pretty funny that now everytime someone walks by the sculpture covered or not, they will be thinking of vag…

    340. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:07

      I’ve told my father in law that using his actual name, Evgeny, is better than anglicizing it. He doubts me.

      Evgeny is cool!!! (#23 in red)

    341. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:11

      also, the VAGINA! is a refreshing change from the usual PENIS! and POOP!

    342. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:12

      not as shopworn, one might say…

    343. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:12

      If the Wasilla High School kids ever take a field trip to our nations capital, they’re going to have to bring a helluva big tarp!

    344. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:18

      things i learned tonight:

      poems have been written about grandma’s big ass
      there is nothing more annoying than daytona 500 race coverage
      the pope is going to tweet

      hey, i think i may have my next blahg post!…

    345. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:19

      also, isn’t much mockery made of eugene in the theatrical moving picture blockbuster ‘grease’?

    346. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:20

      And gocart, you might oughta put an NSFW warning on that link. Such a scandalously explicit photo!

    347. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:20

      Speaking of POOP!
      BUSH.

    348. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:23

      also, isn’t much mockery made of eugene in the theatrical moving picture blockbuster ‘grease’?

      Pink Floyd is certainly concerned about his hand-eye co-ordination.

    349. tigris said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:32

      Vagina!

      Also forbidden were Vag^H^H^HVenn diagrams, all sports requiring balls, and rounded ‘w’s, which look like buttocks. Shapely, shapely buttocks.

    350. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:32

      from dkw’s link:

      some women are holding it in for so long that they are developing health problems, according to sources on the ship.

      problem solved!

      The sailors blame the ship’s vacuum system. But the Navy is blaming sailors for flushing “inappropriate material” down the toilets.
      porn? drug stash? diapers?

      Three sailors who spoke to Navy Times on the condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to talk to the media said the problem has been persistent at least since Bush began its first deployment in May.
      anonymity? about crappy toilets? really?

    351. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:36

      and rounded ‘w’s, which look like buttocks. Shapely, shapely buttocks

      or strangely rounded droopy boobs…

    352. tigris said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:40

      or strangely rounded droopy boobs…

      Nippleless, though, so that would be OK.

    353. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:48

      Nippleless, though, so that would be OK.

      totes okay…

    354. Whale Chowder said,

      February 28, 2012 at 7:28

      Can’t believe I’m posting a link to Renew America

      Gee, thanks B^4. That’s ten minutes I’ll never get back. Has anyone established beyond a doubt that Renew A Merkin isn’t an elaborate parody site? Maybe Bryan Fischer is laughing his ass off when he writes the silly shit he does.

    355. Smut Clyde said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:05

      Holy Vagina.

    356. Smut Clyde said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:07

      Chewing Guam.

    357. Smut Clyde said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:08

      Vagina and burning bush.

    358. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:08

      Our Ladyparts of Guadalupe.

    359. Substance McGravitas said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:11

      I will go no further with this joke.

    360. Thomas Pynchon said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:16

      …George H.W. Bush has grappled with widespread toilet outages

      The Rücksichtslos itself is the issue of another kind of fanaticism: that of the specialist. This vessel here is a Toiletship, a triumph of the German mania for subdividing. … The Rücksichtslos was intended to be the flagship of a whole Geschwader of Toiletships. But the steel quotas were diverted clear out of the Navy over to the A4 rocket program.

    361. Smut Clyde said,

      February 28, 2012 at 8:17

      Fish bladder.

    362. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 16:26

      More recently, numerous New Age authors have interpreted it as a yonic symbol and claimed that this, a reference to the female genitals, is a traditional interpretation.[3][4][5][6][7]

      well, i’ll be…guess those wasilla school kids weren’t just being smartasses…

    363. kg said,

      February 28, 2012 at 16:29

      Quelle surprise!

      http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/la-sci-0228-greed-20120228,0,5683993.story

    364. Steerpike said,

      February 28, 2012 at 16:47

      Any predictions for Michigan today? I think Santorum will squeeze out a small but embarassing stain on Rmoney’s victory

    365. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:08

      We’re talking wingnuts here, the hand symbol on that Wasilla statue has, for them, a greater connection to any sex they’ve ever had than any other symbolism that might be there.

    366. Helmut Monotreme said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:09

      Here, there was Mark Lindsey of Paul Revere and the Raiders, who when he was briefly rich and famous, bought and wrecked five Lamborghini Miuras in a row. (He was the reason they wouldn’t sell the Countach to anyone they hadn’t dealt with before and knew by name.)

      It probably wasn’t entirely his fault. I have read that the Miura’s aeordynamics left something to be desired, in that at high speeds, the front wheels would get light, or even lift off the road entirely.

    367. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:11

      It probably wasn’t entirely his fault. I have read that the Miura’s aeordynamics left something to be desired, in that at high speeds, the front wheels would get light, or even lift off the road entirely.

      I once had a VW bug that would do that at 70. Heh, who knew I was almost driving a Lambo!

    368. N__B said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:19

      Countach

      I’m guessing that the way I would pronounced that name is wrong.

    369. N__B said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:20

      Any predictions for Michigan today?

      Overcast, with a 100% probability of gross stupidity.

    370. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:30

      Ok, Obama has something that a lot of people don’t have. Something that has been shown to improve the quality of life and earning potential of those who have it. Obama would like the people who don’t have it to be be able to get it. Santorum also has this thing that Obama has, but Santorum thinks the people who don’t have it shouldn’t get it. So who’s the snob here? Once again the Rerevised Wingnut Dictionary delivers an entirely different definition than I had ever seen before.

    371. actor212 said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:30

      I once had a VW bug that would do that at 70. Heh, who knew I was almost driving a Lambo!

      When I bought my first VW, the dealer pointedly showed me that the engine was actually an Audi and the suspension was the same as on a Porsche.

      I was like, “Well, great, but can it seat four?”

    372. El Manquécito said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:37

      Any predictions for Michigan today?

      Winds light to variable.

    373. Major Kong said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:38

      Here, there was Mark Lindsey of Paul Revere and the Raiders, who when he was briefly rich and famous, bought and wrecked five Lamborghini Miuras in a row. (He was the reason they wouldn’t sell the Countach to anyone they hadn’t dealt with before and knew by name.)

      It probably wasn’t entirely his fault. I have read that the Miura’s aeordynamics left something to be desired, in that at high speeds, the front wheels would get light, or even lift off the road entirely.

      Well, I could see wrecking one, or maybe even two, but you’d think after the second time one might adjust their driving technique.

    374. El Manquécito said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:39

      I was like, “Well, great, but can it seat four?”

      Only if they’re light enough to not short out the battery under the back seat.

    375. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:42

      Any predictions for Michigan today?

      The Red Wings will win again.

    376. Major Kong said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:42

      My first car was a bug. I can remember scraping ice off the inside of the windshield during a Chicago winter.

    377. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:43

      but you’d think after the second time one might adjust their driving technique.

      Or try a Ferrari.

    378. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 17:52

      I was once dragged to a concert with Mark Lindsey trying to make a come back. The concert featured Paul Revere without the Raiders, The Hermits without Herman, a band that called themselves the Grassroots ( I think the only original member was the drummer) and most of The Turtles.

    379. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 18:02

      I was once dragged to a concert with Mark Lindsey trying to make a come back. The concert featured Paul Revere without the Raiders, The Hermits without Herman, a band that called themselves the Grassroots ( I think the only original member was the drummer) and most of The Turtles.

      wow…that just sounds depressing…

      Ok, Obama has something that a lot of people don’t have. Something that has been shown to improve the quality of life and earning potential of those who have it. Obama would like the people who don’t have it to be be able to get it. Santorum also has this thing that Obama has, but Santorum thinks the people who don’t have it shouldn’t get it. So who’s the snob here? Once again the Rerevised Wingnut Dictionary delivers an entirely different definition than I had ever seen before.

      they were talking about this on mpr this morning during their segment on how the ‘swingle’ vote will make a major impact on the election…one of the callers pointed out that nearly every single mom is going to want their kids to go to college…i mean these yahoos are seriously just shooting themselves in the foot…but i hope they keep on because the longer santorum religiously rails on about values issues the more nails are going in his coffin…and mittens just can’t make that connection with the swingle females but, i would say would have some swingle males that buy into his corporate elite-ness…

      also, one of the strategists they had on the show in reply to a female caller who stated (rightly so) that women are under attack right now regarding birth control and reproductive rights…he flat out said that voters don’t care about that…their big three issues are the economy, jobs and healthcare…wtf? women’s health isn’t part of the healthcare issue? fuck that! i hope women come out in droves this year against that kind of bullshit…but the fact that wingnut women seem to follow their male masters kinda throws some cold water on that hope…

    380. Steerpike said,

      February 28, 2012 at 18:22

      Seriously:

      “Obama says he wants everyone to go to college…what a snob!”

      It’s like he’s trying to not get the nomination, but then Rmoney farts out some elitist, clueless gaffe every other day, and gives Frothy another chance.

    381. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 18:25

      “Obama says he wants everyone to go to college…what a snob!”

      well, jfk made him want to puke, so what do you expect? i find it quite fearsome that a ranting religious nutbar is being taken so seriously…i mean he has flat out said that he follows god’s law and we can like it or lump it…what the hell is wrong with people?!?!?

    382. actor212 said,

      February 28, 2012 at 18:36

      I was once dragged to a concert with Mark Lindsey trying to make a come back. The concert featured Paul Revere without the Raiders

      It’s a damn good thing Mark Lindsey showed up, in that case, or else no concert.

    383. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:09

      i am either about to give birth or we ARE getting a kickass snowstorm…i appear to be nesting today…my office has never been so clean!

    384. Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:36

      In about an hour I get to stand up in front of our county commisioners while they tell me what a great job I have done working for the county for the last 15 years. Of course, I am one of those evil gubmint werkers and I live in a state controlled by Republicans so the pat on the back most likely comes with another cut in pay or benefits – but at least they say they appreciate me.

    385. tsam said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:52

      Best thing about Santorum; Kennedy put all that church/state separation shit to rest 50 years ago. Now we get to do it ALL OVER AGAIN! YAY for criminally stupid assholes and milktoast journalism!

    386. smedley said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:53

      “wtf? women’s health isn’t part of the healthcare issue? fuck that! ”

      Don’t you worry your pretty little head. Let the menfolk handle this. Or, well, isn’t that a bag of tits?!?!

    387. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:57

      Thread Bear said,

      February 28, 2012 at 6:23 (kill)

      Pink Floyd is certainly concerned about his hand-eye co-ordination.

      Thanks for that! It’s rather pleasant to discover that the whole director’s cut of Live at Pompeii is available on the ute oob.

    388. tsam said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:58

      Republicans: Doin it wrong since I don’t know when…

      We have an election cycle in a shitass economy and a vulnerable Democrat black guy who fights like a girl in office. This election was theirs to lose. So they find 9 intellectual 4 year olds to run against him.

      “I drawed a picher of me being presnit. I have a laser gun and a dinosaur. Daddy says I can be presnit if I want to but I have to kiss him in his privates.”

    389. Steerpike said,

      February 28, 2012 at 19:58

      Incidentally, I have to say I LOVE the new ITABOT meme.

    390. smedley said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:02

      Speaking of milktoast journalism, look at this Juan Williams(!) column:

      http://thehill.com/opinion/columnists/juan-williams/212641-partisans-ignoring-stimuluss-success

      My takeaway was this: “a CNN poll found three quarters of the public felt most of the stimulus was wasted and did not help the economy”

      Wolf Blitzer would look at that and wonder, “why didn’t the stimulus work,” rather than “why don’t we spend more time informing and less time polling.”

    391. El Manquécito said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:06

      Two great SN! themes, combined!

    392. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:07

      Did somebody say bag of tits?

    393. Steerpike said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:21

      Badgermin!
      ITABOT!

    394. jim said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:22

      Just saw on Maddow that Michael Moore has brought up the intention of many non-GOP Michiganders to vote for Santorum, referring to this as “Operation Hilarity.”

      I doubt the RNC sees the humour in this. Which makes it even FUNNIER.

    395. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:33

      I shouldn’t be surprised that you can buy at least two different bags of tits.

      I will add that I don’t particularly care for bearded tits.

    396. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:34

      I doubt the RNC sees the humour in this.

      i believe mittens referred to non-goopers voting in the primary as ‘disgusting’…he has such a way with words…

    397. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:38

      The next time a Republican brags about his or her opposition to the failed stimulus, a cynic might respond by asking why they hate tax cuts so much.

      hahahahahahahah!

    398. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:44

      i, for one really appreciate that the website tells you how to take care of your fun bags:

      The bags are washable, I’d recommend a low wash (30-40 degrees), and by turning the bags inside out before washing and only ironing on the reverse of the design, they will last longer.
      good to know!

      and that they recognize that just like snowflakes, each tit is differentl:

      As each transfer print is done by hand, the positioning of the bird may vary very slightly from the photo.

    399. smedley said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:52

      “The next time a Republican brags about his or her opposition to the failed stimulus, a cynic might respond by asking why they hate tax cuts so much.

      hahahahahahahah!”

      If only Juan would practice what he preaches.

    400. actor212 said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:54

      but at least they say they appreciate me.

      Hey, I won’t cum in your ass, either.

    401. smedley said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:55

      “i, for one really appreciate that the website tells you how to take care of your fun bags:

      The bags are washable, I’d recommend a low wash (30-40 degrees), and by turning the bags inside out before washing and only ironing on the reverse of the design, they will last longer.
      good to know!”

      For some reason this made me think of the Gwyneth autopsy scene in “Contagion.”

    402. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      February 28, 2012 at 20:58

      actor212 said,
      February 28, 2012 at 17:30

      I once had a VW bug that would do that at 70. Heh, who knew I was almost driving a Lambo!
      When I bought my first VW, the dealer pointedly showed me that the engine was actually an Audi and the suspension was the same as on a Porsche.

      I was like, “Well, great, but can it seat four?”

      Yeah, VW got rich enough selling VWs to buy out the Auto Union, which went broke selling Audis and DKWs. So what happens? VW gives up selling VWs and starts selling Audis. That’s when I stopped believing all that “Build a better mousetrap” crapola.

    403. Steerpike said,

      February 28, 2012 at 21:05

      Note to Santorquemada and Republicans in general:

      Religion is like a PENIS
      It’s fine to have one, and to proudly share it with anyone who’s interested; however it is considered vulgar to wave it around in public, and I will strongly object if you try to shove it down my children’s throats.

    404. bbkf said,

      February 28, 2012 at 21:05

      which went broke selling Audis and DKWs.

      ha! i always knew dkw was for sale!

    405. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      February 28, 2012 at 21:08

      N__B said,
      February 28, 2012 at 17:19

      Countach
      I’m guessing that the way I would pronounced that name is wrong.

      Countach (pr. “coon-tosh”) is supposedly a Venetian exclamation, equivalent to the standard Italian “sonnamabeetch!” Reportedly, it was wrung out of some automotive reporter when the prototype was unveiled, and they decided to use that as the name.

    406. actor212 said,

      February 28, 2012 at 21:12

      ha! i always knew dkw was for sale!

      Negro, please…he gives it away.

    407. Major Kong said,

      February 28, 2012 at 21:32

      Yeah, VW got rich enough selling VWs to buy out the Auto Union, which went broke selling Audis and DKWs. So what happens? VW gives up selling VWs and starts selling Audis. That’s when I stopped believing all that “Build a better mousetrap” crapola.

      I’ve never understood the cult following of the VW. OK, sure, they were simple and reliable but so was a Model T and both were about equally primitive.

      A Bug was slow, cramped, noisy, had no heater to speak of and was a death-trap in any kind of collision.

      You couldn’t pay me enough to trade my Audi for one of those things.

    408. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      February 28, 2012 at 22:04

      I’ve never understood the cult following of the VW. OK, sure, they were simple and reliable but so was a Model T and both were about equally primitive.

      A Bug was slow, cramped, noisy, had no heater to speak of and was a death-trap in any kind of collision.

      You couldn’t pay me enough to trade my Audi for one of those things.

      When they bought out the Auto Union (and NSU—they were going to start selling the NSU K70 as a VW, but finally gave up trying to get the kind of refinement out of it that they wanted—they had a prototype for their next generation of cars that would have revolutionized the industry.

      It was a rectangular, Rabbit-like 2-box design with a water-cooled, transverse inline-4, amidships, with the cylinders extending under the back seat and the transaxle inside the crankcase, lubricated by engine oil.

      I have to admit, I was spoiled by my 412s, having a station wagon with a trunk in front for stuff you don’t want rolling around in back, but I think we would all have been much better off if that had been the wave of the future in 1972.

    409. Major Kong said,

      February 28, 2012 at 22:47

      It was a rectangular, Rabbit-like 2-box design with a water-cooled, transverse inline-4, amidships, with the cylinders extending under the back seat and the transaxle inside the crankcase, lubricated by engine oil.

      Not usually a good idea for the engine and transaxle to a common case/oil source. Metal shavings from the transmission can find their way into the engine. This was a problem with the Miura as I recall. Plus they tend to require different types of oil.

    410. co77x said,

      March 30, 2012 at 14:22

      I may have some friends over tonight and was wondering whether I could summon some Holocaust victims with my Ouija board, or will that upset the Jews?

    411. http://www.crayonpedia.org/ said,

      May 21, 2013 at 11:58

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