Feb
21

When Masturbation’s Lost Its Fun




Posted at 12:16 by Cerberus

Oh god, what are you doing with that- Oh fuck no, I can’t unsee that… What do you mean you got the censored version? Oh you lucky sons of a BEEEEEEEEPPP.


Deroy Murdock, National Lean-To:
Careful What You Wish For

It’s been an awkward time for the wingnuts of the world. They’ve rubbed their withered hate erections until they’ve started to bleed over the various spurts of the right-wing id that have been unleashed since the election of the black president.

But it hasn’t been enough. True release has been denied to them like their access to the playgrounds of the world and so they’ve found themselves fantasizing larger and larger set pieces from which to imagine themselves skullfucking the universe from their tower of bones.

And now that I’ve ruined sex for half of you, let’s move on to the recent desperate fantasy of one National Review member as he rather pathetically tries to combine hate-fucking liberals with his love of necrophilia by resurrecting the spectre of “Obamacare”.

Jonah Goldberg is right. He makes an excellent point in his piece this morning on President Obama’s abortion-pill mandate. Conservatives, libertarians, and others who believe in medical freedom should make this argument much more often when engaging liberals: What happens if “the bad guys,” namely we right-wingers, win the next election, and now we get to run Obamacare? (Be sure to twirl your handlebar mustache as you pose this question.)

Yeah, unh, liberals, how would you like it if we took over your precious little disappointing mild reform to the global clusterfuck that is the American health care system?!? Bet you’d hate it and you’d be weeping on your knees, looking up at our manly protrusions with fear and UNGH! Damnitt, still not enough. Need more specific fantasies.

Imagine, as Jonah does, that Rick Santorum is elected president and becomes the reincarnation of Cotton Mather, just as Nancy Pelosi probably fears as she lays her coiffed head on her high-threadcount pillows every night.

Ah, yeah, tormented Nancy Pelosi. And not in one of those sissy bondage probably consented to before hand and using safe word way, but in the haunted to the very soul and an inability to say no is the same as a yes way. Ah, yeah, that’s doing the trick.

Imagine further that instead of repealing Obamacare, the former GOP senator from Pennsylvania decided to keep this law in place and modify it along much more traditionalist, even puritanical, lines.

Mmm, yeah, puritanical.

Santorumcare could involve — say — a federally mandated, five-day waiting period before women could have abortions.

Yeah, more hurdles to send women through to get legal healthcare…

Okay, I can’t do it anymore. Following the twisted libidos of these cretins is just filling me with a need to scrub myself with a wire brush just to get all the spots off me.

This parallels the original five-day interlude that potential firearms buyers faced under the Brady Law. How could the Left object to that?

Yes, because everyone rushes out to perform legal medically ethical surgery carefully thought out ahead of time to carry out the poorly-thought out murder of loved ones, annoying neighbors, or themselves.

But hey, don’t let the weakness of your analogy get in the way of imagining that liberals are as eager to masturbate about how waiting periods on guns make conservatives cry as you are to whack off to imaginary crying liberals.

How about a requirement that every American who receives free condoms from any federally subsidized health center first must receive 30 minutes of mandatory abstinence counseling?

How would that a) be at all related to Obamacare, b) not be the type of shit you keep on trying to add all the time, or c) be anything other than a reason to keep you and your ilk from any lever of power?

Is it too much to ask that your loud self-loathing induced session of self-abuse over how much you are turned on by the imagined suffering of liberals pertain with the proposed topic you tried unsuccessfully to attach it to?

I mean, doesn’t anyone have standards in their meandering bullshit anymore?

And why not a rule that those who visit Gay Men’s Health Crisis cannot accept any services until after completing a two-day course on gay conversion, so that they can be “cured” of their homosexuality?

Given the furious sound of slapping meat, I’m terrified to ask exactly what you think “cured” means for fear that it’s the right-wing euphemism for swallowing Santorum.

I seriously doubt that President Santorum (or President Brownback or President Palin) would do such things, but then I never envisioned President Obama ordering free birth control for any and every adult female who wanted it — regardless of income — and paid for under federal orders by health insurers, over the objections of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Yeah! Doesn’t he know the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops outrank the president (only applies when president is black or a Democrat)?!?

Also, if you are going to expand the anti-choice sex panic to include opposition of contraception, maybe you shouldn’t include it in a post that sounds this much like it was written entirely in the moment 15 seconds before ejaculation.

Our friends on the left should worry about what potentially could happen to their shiny new toy, if Obamacare ever became Santorumcare, Brownbackcare, or Palincare.

As a wise man once said: “Careful what you wish for.”

Yeah, see, here’s the problem with the constant right-wing argument that we shouldn’t fix things because Republicans are just going to make them suck.

They aren’t really arguments against the things themselves. Sure it always goes that we shouldn’t reform health care because Republicans will dismantle it or saddle it with their garbage. And it goes we can’t have a functioning government because Republicans will just drive it into the ground and staff it with failed horse breeders and graduates from Liberty University. And we can’t be married to the people we love, because Republicans will just take it away or make it invalid. And we can’t be bothered to live another day in this cruel world, because Republicans will just make our lives a living hell.

But those aren’t actually arguments against health care reform, government, equal marriage, or avoiding the hangman’s noose another day.

They’re more arguments for shooting all the Republicans into the sun.

Which is a shame, because I’d probably be distraught for months, crying liberal tears into my naughty hemp negligee, if that were ever to happen.

206 Comments »

  1. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 12:30

    What’s to be sorry about ruining sex for me? Their frustration is like a male-enhancement pill.

  2. Smut Clyde said,

    February 21, 2012 at 12:52

    Santorumcare could involve — say — a federally mandated, five-day waiting period before women could have abortions.

    The willingness of Republicans in Virginia to introduce mandatory vaginal penetration before women can have abortions — without needing the legislative machinery of Santorumcare — kind of undercuts his whole “Oh-how-ironic-it-would-be” argument.

  3. M. Bouffant said,

    February 21, 2012 at 13:37

    And now that I’ve ruined sex for half of you

    Fortunately, only my upper half is ruined.

  4. N__B said,

    February 21, 2012 at 14:55

    I’m surprised he didn’t go for the EPA analogy: no contraception without an environmental impact statement.

  5. Exford legs said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:34

    withered hate erection

    Ok i just need a drummer, and a guy to hold a up chain and bash it with a hammer

  6. Arakasi said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:40

    Wow…

    This douchnozzle might actually have a rhetorical point if there was a parallel between his theoretical examples and what liberals want, but he is completely ass backwards on this.

    Liberals want easier access to medical care with important medical decisions to be made by the patient and the medical provider. Every example this fuckwit gives restricts access to medical care and adds governmental interference to medical decisions.

    For him to actually have a point, he would have to provide a non-trivial example of liberals restricting access to quality health care or conservatives expanding it. The closest he can get to this, though, is bringing up gun control.

    Now, I do admit that I do not want conservatives to control “Santorumcare”, but that is because they will completely fuck it up. We will find ourselves paying billions to provide medical care to millionaires while cutting back on “nonessential” services like well baby exams and mammograms

  7. Pryme said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:46

    maybe you shouldn’t include it in a post that sounds this much like it was written entirely in the moment 15 seconds before ejaculation.

    I was assuming that his post was done 15 seconds afterwards, but what do I know?

  8. Arakasi said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:47

    Here’s a thought – let’s give Delroy something to really piss and moan about. Call your congresscritter and insist they introduce a bill that requires anyone seeking a Viagra perscription first watch 30 minutes of hardcore gay porn. I’m sure for a non-trivial number of patients, this will resolve the issue without resorting to drugs.

    And don’t forget the five day “cooling off” period. You don’t want to send these guys off half-cocked

  9. Andrew said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:53

    This reminds me of TeaBaggers using the TARP bailouts to argue against the stimulus.

    “You see, the fact that the government gave hundreds of billions to banker criminals with few strings attached proves that having the government fund social welfare and infrastructure is a bad idea. Government run by politically connected interests is the problem, therefore gut programs for the middle and lower classes.”

    I hate these people so much.

  10. Mat said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:54

    Wait, wasn’t the Big Idea of the teabagger wackos all about freedom and less government intrusion? I guess unless you have a vagina. In that case, welcome to the 13th century, you slutty slut whores.

  11. Andrew said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:58

    And another thing: since when did conservatives need Democratic Party enacted programs to ram their socially reactionary agenda into women’s bodies and gay people’s bedrooms? Virginia’s state mandated abortion bill certainly has nothing to do with “Obamacare.”

  12. Andrew said,

    February 21, 2012 at 15:59

    Uh, hehe. I meant “state mandated ultrasound bill.”

  13. Mat said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:00

    …over the objections of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

    Even the lay Catholic people didn’t elect these effete, child-rape-coverup-upping schmoes. They are, in fact, foreign dignitaries representing the pope and Vatican. Un-American THEOCRATS.

    Again, I thought wingnuts were all about freedom, democracy, and the glorious fucking constitution. EXCEPT when they’re not.

  14. Andrew said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:08

    HEY LIBERALS!! WOULDN’T IT BE IRONIC IF YOU GUYS WERE ABORTED BY GAY MUSLIM MEXICANS SMUGGLED INTO THE COUNTRY BY ACORN!!??

    *farts, head caves in*

  15. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:42

    Wait, wasn’t the Big Idea of the teabagger wackos all about freedom and less government intrusion?

    Their initial big media play was “Rick’s Rant”.

    It wasn’t a complaint about banks being bailed out, it was an objection to the government possibly* helping people who were going to be foreclosed out of their homes.

    * In fact, HAMP (Home Affordable Modification Program), etc. was all a cruel hoax. The banksters got to collect more payments from homeowners whose homes ultimately would be foreclosed upon anyways, while pretending that those mortgages were still good.
    ~

  16. mmy said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:44

    just as Nancy Pelosi probably fears as she lays her coiffed head on her high-threadcount pillows every night.

    Jesus fucking Christ, you can get a high-thread-count pillow at BBB or Ikea these days. It’s not like you have to be a goddamn millionaire.

    Actually, I guess the best way to explain conservative economics is that they won’t be happy until the Real Murcans lay their heads down on a pile of used sweatshirts every night.

  17. mmy said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:44

    just as Nancy Pelosi probably fears as she lays her coiffed head on her high-threadcount pillows every night.

    Jesus fucking Christ, you can get a high-thread-count pillow at BBB or Ikea these days. It’s not like you have to be a goddamn millionaire.

    Actually, I guess the best way to explain conservative economics is that they won’t be happy until the Real Murcans lay their heads down on a pile of used sweatshirts every night.

  18. Pryme said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:50

    The coo-coo conservative train is still running on time: http://crooksandliars.com/diane-sweet/gop-rep-married-couples-should-practic

  19. g said,

    February 21, 2012 at 16:54

    Surely there’s an obsession among wingnuts with Nancy Pelosi’s personal grooming.

    and how weird is it that the folks who invented the fantasy of Obamacare Death Panels project their own irrational fears onto Pelosi – and then ridicule her for having them?

  20. smedley said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:01

    Actually, I do worry about what kind of person a Republican president would name to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

  21. Pryme said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:03

    Surely there’s an obsession among wingnuts with Nancy Pelosi’s personal grooming women who like to think independently and critically.

    Fixtified!

  22. anonymous said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:18

    MOAR!!!

  23. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:20

    Actually, I do worry about what kind of person a Republican president would name to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

    President Santorum: “I’d like to introduce the new head of the Consumer Financial Protection Board, Zuul D. Gatekeeper.”

  24. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:21

    And another thing: since when did conservatives need Democratic Party enacted programs to ram their socially reactionary agenda into women’s bodies and gay people’s bedrooms?

    Ever since Larry Craig’s wide stance made it clear they couldn’t get laid on their own.

  25. tigris said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:27

    free birth control for any and every adult female who wanted it

    And there it is, the law simply removes co-pays for a proven method of birth control for adult females who want it badly enough to go to a doctor and get a prescription, and yet every analogy he offers is forcing a patient to receive extra, unwanted and in most cases proven useless “services.”

  26. smedley said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:36

    ‘President Santorum: “I’d like to introduce the new head of the Consumer Financial Protection Board, Zuul D. Gatekeeper.”’……..whose qualifications include: charging exhorbitant fees for consumers to attain their own money; championing a ten percent surcharge on all non-Catholic account holders; advocating a repeal of all non-discriminatory lending laws………

  27. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 17:49

    ‘President Santorum: “I’d like to introduce the new head of the Consumer Financial Protection Board, Zuul D. Gatekeeper.”’……..whose qualifications include: charging exhorbitant fees for consumers to attain their own money; championing a ten percent surcharge on all non-Catholic account holders; advocating a repeal of all non-discriminatory lending laws………

    And unleashing the Hounds of Hell on the Stay Puft Marshmallow man

  28. Dr.BDH said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:06

    I thought Santorumcare would simply be a sheet laundry business.

  29. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:09

    When Masturbation’s Lost Its Fun

    That’s a bizarre proposition right there and the rest gets crazier.

  30. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:09

    I thought Santorumcare would simply be a sheet laundry business.

    You don’t have to euphemize. Hell, you don’t even have to say “shite” here. “Shit laundry” is fine.

  31. kg said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:11

    You don’t want to send these guys off half-cocked

    I think thats why they need the viagra in the first place tho.

  32. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:18

    if Obamacare ever became Santorumcare, Brownbackcare, or Palincare.

    None of these things will happen because none of the three can get elected. In the event that the impossible comes to pass all bets are off of course, but President Santorum or Palin or Brownback are going to be pandering to a larger block of voters than Deroy Mudock and the rest of the straitjacket brigade.

  33. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:21

    Iam hesitant to read any further than “Jonah Goldberg is right. He makes an excellent point…” I can’t imagine how anything remotely worth reading could follow that.

  34. Steerpike said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:23

    Has anyone bothered to ask the insurance corporation-persons whether they mind being forced to provide contraceptives to their policyholders free of charge or not? ‘Cuz given a choice between a couple-few hundred bucks a year for Teh Pill versus covering full-blown spin-dry maternity/delivery/neonatal care, I think you will find they don’t mind making slut-pills available (if not mandatory).

  35. Major Kong said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:23

    You don’t want to send these guys off half-cocked

    True. Better take the whole thing off. Don’t want to take the chance that they actually reproduce.

  36. Martian Buddy said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:33

    Great point, Mr. Murdock. Unfortunately, I have a feeling the left-wing media will be only too happy to use this as a talking point.

    Uh, yeah; if our opponents are willing to openly argue that we shouldn’t do something good for the public because they’ll twist it around into something horrible, why the fuck wouldn’t we point that out as loudly and frequently as possible?

  37. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:42

    (Be sure to twirl your handlebar mustache – if you can reach it through your wetsuit - as you pose this question and shove an enormous black dildo in your Santorumhole.)

    Fikst for veracity.

  38. JohnR said,

    February 21, 2012 at 18:56

    @big ol’ pupi:
    “I can’t imagine how anything remotely worth reading could follow that.”

    Well, let’s see:
    “Jonah Goldberg is right. He makes an excellent point…

    1. .. of impact for hundreds of paintball pellets filled with cow manure.
    2. .. OK, you win. I couldn’t think of anything else.

  39. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:00

    Iam hesitant to read any further than “Jonah Goldberg is right. He makes an excellent point…” I can’t imagine how anything remotely worth reading could follow that.

    “….Subway $5 foot longs are a better value that the Blimpie’s hero”

  40. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:02

    Has anyone bothered to ask the insurance corporation-persons whether they mind being forced to provide contraceptives to their policyholders free of charge or not?

    Obama made the point when he announced the tweak on the regulation. In fact, it made so much sense, you wonder why no insurance company came up with it on its own.

  41. tigris said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:09

    “Lava soap is the best way to remove cheeto stains from skin.”

  42. N__B said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:22

    You don’t want to send these guys off half-cocked

    True. Better take the whole thing off.

    Take off and nuke it from space. It’s the only way to be sure.

  43. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:23

    I imagine Jonah Goldberg has plenty of useful things to say about:
    getting readers to do research for him
    What brand of recliner is comfiest
    how to not to mess up an all expenses paid ride on the wingnut gravy train
    How to take thirds at a donor sponsored buffet
    exploiting nepotism to it’s fullest

  44. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:28

    Take off and nuke it from space. It’s the only way to be sure.

    WHOA! We have a test ban treaty AND think of the fallout!

    Shoot it into the sun.

  45. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 21, 2012 at 19:46

    “…of land.”

  46. jim, POOPYHEAD said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:08

    Uh oh. I don’t like where this is going.

    From copulation down to masturbation … which tells me the next post will be on frottage or exhibitionism, at best.

    Another week of this madness & we’ll be reduced to “secretly looking at the Sears Catalog lady’s long-johns ads & breathing a little heavy while imagining ladies dancing around in their long-johns, then being distracted by a strand of tinsel in a breeze or a set of jingling keys.”

    Plainly Cerberus is in the back pocket of Big Asexual!

    The battery-powered Neutering Vans are already warming up in their underground parkades, sheeple!

    Get out there & bump uglies — WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

  47. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:11

    OK I posted this at the bottom of the last thread but I just can’t believe someone at space.com actually wrote this:

    Scientists have discovered a new type of alien planet — a steamy waterworld that is larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

    from here: http://news.yahoo.com/type-alien-planet-steamy-waterworld-162802250.html

  48. Steerpike said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:12

    They can have my contraception when they pry it from my cold, dead…

    Wait, let me start over…

  49. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:42

    Actually, I do worry about what kind of person a Republican president would name to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

    oh, like there’s still going to BE a consumer financial protection bureau!

  50. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:44

    This parallels the original five-day interlude that potential firearms buyers faced under the Brady Law. How could the Left object to that?

    yes, because we must stop the rampant abortions of passion!

  51. boconn13 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:44

    “And now that I’ve ruined sex for half of you”…well when I discussed the subject with Mr. Handy he didn’t. say. a. word.

    “my naughty hemp negligee”…Whew, fixed. And by the way, is that one of them high threadcount naughty hemp negligees? Smokin’!!11!

  52. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:50

    Scientists have discovered a new type of alien planet — a steamy waterworld that is larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

    and then they all giggled…

  53. Thread Bear said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:53

    “my naughty hemp negligee”…Whew, fixed. And by the way, is that one of them high threadcount naughty hemp negligees? Smokin’!!11!

    A high thread count would make it a modest hemp negligee. The lower the thread count the naughtier the negligee – all the way down to Thread Bare!

  54. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:54

    This parallels the original five-day interlude that potential firearms buyers faced under the Brady Law. How could the Left object to that?

    For further parallels, whenever anyone purchases a handgun, they will then have it surgically attached to their hand for nine months. Buying two guns would require that you submit a signed note from your personal caregiver who promises to wipe your bum after you potty.

    Also, every month, a random amount of weight between 1 and 10 pounds is added to the handgun. Also, an epidermal patch that releases both stimulants and depressants in random amounts on an unpredictable schedule is applied.

    Additionally, random spot checks will be made to ensure that the gun and patch are still in place. Whether or not there is compliance, the inspector will then kick the new gun owner in the crotch until they puke.

    Finally, a would-be gun purchaser can change their mind and have the gun removed – but only after they subject themselves to mandatory invasive probing. For medical reasons.

  55. Fenwick said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:55

    TB: I see what you do there.

  56. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 20:58

    ooooh…i get to meet the daughter’s bf’s dad tonight…

  57. Fenwick said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:00

    DKW: A mighty burn, sir. May I buy you mint julep?

  58. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:01

    and okay, here’s your sappy moment of the day…my mother in law was just up here with some other oldsters helping me stuff and stamp envelopes for our gala event and of course, we had to talk about the new relationship…she told me that the other night on the phone, aidan told her, ‘now i will always have someone to sit with…’ she could hardly finish it because she was weepy and i am getting weepy AGAIN just typing it…you should see us watch the hallmark channel together…

  59. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:02

    Also, every month, a random amount of weight between 1 and 10 pounds is added to the handgun. Also, an epidermal patch that releases both stimulants and depressants in random amounts on an unpredictable schedule is applied.

    it’s almost like you know me! although actually one month, i gained 13 lbs…this was over the holidays…even so, doc told me very politely that i might not want to do that again…

  60. Adam Smith - The Original Marxist said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:08

    “The subjects of every state ought to contribute towards the support of the government, as nearly as possible, in proportion to their respective abilities; that is, in proportion to the revenue which they respectively enjoy under the protection of the state.”

  61. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:17

    very OT – teh next chapter in Rob Ford’s War on LEAFS SUCK is unfolding today. A couple weeks ago, his hand-picked chair of the TTC (transit) board managed to arrange a special City Council meeting where they refudiated Mayor Rob’s All Subways Plan and endorsed the previous Transit City LRT in the ‘burbs approach.

    There’s been some interesting revelations since then, mostly around how the mayor buried a report he asked for that showed his Subway Scheme was stupid, ridiculous and stupidly ridiculous.

    Anyways, during the special meeting, Gary Webster (the chief general manager of the TTC) stood his ground and answered questions regarding LRT vs subway competently and didn’t lie his ass off by saying that of course subways were better.

    So now the rest of the mayor’s TTC board cronies are having a special board meeting to fire his ass. Since it will be a firing without cause, we’re probably going to be on the hook for half a million dollars. Rob Ford was elected on the message of “Respect for Taxpayers”.

    And it’ll be all in vain. LEAFS SUCK has a strong council-weak mayor system and Council has approved the LRT plan. Unless he shows up with teh magical two and a half billion dollars of private investment he promised for Sheppard – his plan is no go. We’re getting teh hated “trolleys” regardless of who the city fires at this point.

    Even as a warning to other city employees to submit to teh Mayor or face teh consequences – it’s pretty weak tea. Webster will be leaving with a fat severance package and the respect of his industry for standing up to political pressure. And since LEAFS SUCK is pretty lefty as well as public serviced up like crazy, all of the other employees have pretty sweet contracts with healthy buyout provisions. At this point, all that getting fired by these guys does is give you a huge financial windfall and an automatic reference of “idiots fired me for not being a jackass spineless weasel shitbag”. AWESOME.

    I now wish that I worked for teh city – just so I could get fired by them.

    Anywho, you know that your “World Class City” is pretty provincial and backwaters-y when this sort of thing has been literally dominating your local news for weeks. Still, it beats NHL Trade Deadline rumours.

  62. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:19

    Thanks Fenwick. A mint julep would be great right now. Hold the mint and sugar. Hold the glass too, just pass me teh bottle of bourbon.

  63. smedley said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:24

    “Actually, I do worry about what kind of person a Republican president would name to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

    oh, like there’s still going to BE a consumer financial protection bureau!”

    My assumption that there will be is based on their track record. Like when Reagan turned the chairmanship of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over to one Clarence Thomas…..

  64. Another Kiwi said,

    February 21, 2012 at 21:56

    Ho ho silly sadlies! Preznident Santorum will dissolve the public service in his inauguration speech! No more worrying about it then.

  65. Hogeye Grex said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:11

    Jonah Goldberg is right.

    Okay. That got a full-on guffaw.

    I probably don’t need to read any further, but what the hell.

  66. jim, POOPYHEAD said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:14

    AROO BLOGWHORE ALERT – CLICK MEEEEEE & TAEST THE RAINBOW

  67. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:35

    Jonah Goldberg is right.

    this is one of the things i find most annoying about tsw…the constant pimping and postwhoring…arrrrrrghhh…although time has proven again and again that we really can’t expect much in originality or insight from these nutters…

  68. N__B said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:35

    …i get to meet the daughter’s bf’s dad tonight…

    Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?

  69. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:41

    Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?

    it will probably be even more interesting than that…you haven’t lived until you’ve gone out to dinner with an entire group of special need-ers…

  70. jim, POOPYHEAD said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:50

    Jonah Goldberg is right only ever goes for pandering his whiny version of Snark Fu – even when he’s voicing it as deadpan concern-trolling dread of Obama’s latent Spartan ambitions for Amerika … & sure, his book has assloads of footnote-y index-y formalism in an attempt to make its definitionally deranged thesis look more worthy of consideration, but he’s just as juvenile & fundamentally empty there too.

    Fixed tit!

  71. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 22:53

    Scientists have discovered a new type of alien planet — a steamy waterworld that is larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

    Planet Santorum.

  72. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 23:01

    Planet Santorum

    guaranteed to be just as shitty as ‘battlefield earth’

  73. actor212 said,

    February 21, 2012 at 23:12

    Deroy? Sounds French…

  74. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 21, 2012 at 23:35

    Planet Santorum

    guaranteed to be just as shitty as ‘battlefield earth’

    It will be. But it will be real I have a terrible foreboding about the next century. 7 billion (and climbing like a rocket) people, dwindling oil supplies, massive changes in the environment, economies propped up and knocked down by the whim of investment bankers, The increasingly aggressive militaries of China, Iran, Russia, India and Pakistan sounds like a recipe for world war 3 atomic boogaloo.

  75. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 21, 2012 at 23:37

    Tipsy the turkey just died bestially. When my strange friend opened Tipsy up he found an engine jammed in Tipsy’s nose. My question is to Hera… Why did it have to be my Tipsy?

  76. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 21, 2012 at 23:42

    I have a terrible foreboding about the next century. 7 billion (and climbing like a rocket) people, dwindling oil supplies, massive changes in the environment, economies propped up and knocked down by the whim of investment bankers, The increasingly aggressive militaries of China, Iran, Russia, India and Pakistan sounds like a recipe for world war 3 atomic boogaloo.

    This is precisely why contraception must be stopped NOW.

  77. bbkf said,

    February 21, 2012 at 23:43

    people, dwindling oil supplies, massive changes in the environment

    oh, you and your radically islamic worldview! why do you worship the earth over jeebus?

  78. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:07

    but then I never envisioned President Obama ordering free birth control for any and every adult female who wanted it

    History’s greatest monster!

    Yeah, see, here’s the problem with the constant right-wing argument that we shouldn’t fix things because Republicans are just going to make them suck.

    They aren’t really arguments against the things themselves. Sure it always goes that we shouldn’t reform health care because Republicans will dismantle it or saddle it with their garbage.

    You should post this as a comment to his post- he’s basically arguing against ever voting for a Republican or Conservative candidate ever again.

  79. jim, POOPYHEAD said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:19

    YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME, I’M BEHIND SEVEN PROXYS

  80. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:20

    And why not a rule that those who visit Gay Men’s Health Crisis cannot accept any services until after completing a two-day course on gay conversion, so that they can be “cured” of their homosexuality?

    Other ideas:

    Slam the penis in the drawer = penicillin prescription
    Mandatory gold-tooth extraction for the uninsured wanting any procedure at all
    Obligatory beating of crying children prior to tummy-ache investigation

  81. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:22

    This is precisely why contraception must be stopped NOW.

    I agree. When you are driving toward the edge of a cliff, the best thing to do is crank the stereo and hit the gas.

  82. El Manquécito said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:27

    Slam the penis in the drawer window = penicillin prescription

    Fizzed for extra Tristram Shandyness.

  83. tigris said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:30

    Hey, why not a rule that anyone who wants to deny services to folks to force them into “gay conversion therapy” has to take active part in a two-day gay orgy to get health care? “Don’t knock it til you try it” is totally in the Constitution, right? Or maybe the Bible, I get them confused.

  84. M. Bouffant said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:37

    Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?

    Natty Dreadlocks?

  85. Smut Clyde said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:41

    I never envisioned President Obama ordering free birth control for any and every adult female who wanted it

    Every adult female in the US has health insurance? Great news!!

  86. M. Bouffant said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:41

    This is precisely why contraception must be stopped NOW.

    Yes, just as tax cutting will increase revenues, making contraception illegal will decrease the population.

  87. El Manquécito said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:49

    Natty Dreadlocks?

    Excellent. Michael Rose FTW.

  88. bbkf said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:51

    Yes, just as tax cutting will increase revenues, making contraception illegal will decrease the population.

    i read this in the local ‘hooterville indigestion’ today:

    mccl (mn citizens concerned for life) thoughts for life:
    how can abortion be stopped? young people committing to stay pure until marriage and married people staying true to their marriage vows would take care of a huge amount.

    but with our courts making abortion legal for so many years, many of the younger generation don’t understand that even though it is legal it isn’t morally right.

    mccl does a good job to make people aware, but as with everything, they need support.

    mccl likes to call themselves ‘the billboard people!’ said in a shiny happy voice…their billboards generally piss me off while i am out and about…they are just as bad as the ‘jesus is lord and savior over xtown’…talk about getting it rammed down your throat!

  89. bbkf said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:52

    Yes, just as tax cutting will increase revenues, making contraception illegal will decrease the population.

    i read this in the local ‘hooterville indigestion’ today:

    mccl (mn citizens concerned for life) thoughts for life:
    how can abortion be stopped? young people committing to stay pure until marriage and married people staying true to their marriage vows would take care of a huge amount.

    but with our courts making abortion legal for so many years, many of the younger generation don’t understand that even though it is legal it isn’t morally right.

    mccl does a good job to make people aware, but as with everything, they need support.

    mccl likes to call themselves ‘the billboard people!’ said in a shiny happy voice…their billboards generally piss me off while i am out and about…they are just as bad as the ‘jesus is lord and savior over xtown’…talk about getting it rammed down your throat!

  90. bbkf said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:52

    oh, how the hell does that happen?!?!?

  91. tigris said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:56

    young people committing to stay pure until marriage and married people staying true to their marriage vows would take care of a huge amount.

    Oh yeah, cuz married people never have abortions except if they’re cheating, right? Birth control failure, lack of money, etc only happen to cheaters.

  92. El Manquécito said,

    February 22, 2012 at 0:58

    When you are driving toward the edge of a cliff,

    Obligatory in all discussions of driving off cliffs.

  93. Steerpike said,

    February 22, 2012 at 1:01

    Every adult female in the US has health insurance? Great news!!

    I’m afraid that’s a miscontraception.

  94. wiley said,

    February 22, 2012 at 1:06

    One Democrat makes it mandatory for insurers to provide an appointment for a woman to get birth control without a co-pay. The other Democrat has a nice pillow case. This is why I vote for Democrats. I too can get birth control without a co-pay (courtesy of the V.A.) and it is nice. I also have a nice pillow case. I don’t know what the thread count is, but it is soft. I’m thinking of getting a satin pillowcase, and I suspect that Nancy would approve.

    I want a President and representatives that like nice stuff, like I do. The Party of Nice things. Can we haz them?

  95. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 2:21

    ‘now i will always have someone to sit with…’

    This went straight to my heart.

  96. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 2:30

    I’m afraid that’s a miscontraception.

    Winz.

    Hope you are hanging tough, Steerpike. Even though I’m coming up on one year, I’m still fighting it. I still smoke in (some) dreams. Last two weeks have been very hard for me; I almost broke and bought a pack last Thursday.

  97. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 2:33

    wiley: I followed through today; sent an e-mail sketching my service background.

  98. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 22, 2012 at 2:33

    Well, once President Santorum outlaws birth control all you wimmins can just take the sage marriage advice of Michelle Duggar (via TBogg):

    A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man: This one states that a woman destroys her husband’s manliness by “being financially independent; Love is killed by self-sufficiency.”
    A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities
    A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty: Your hairstyle, for example, can show “obedience vs defiance” and “personal discipline vs inconsistency,” among many other things.
    A husband needs a wife who can lovingly appeal to him when he is going beyond his limitations and wisely respond to those who question his ideas, goals, or motives: “Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; ask forgiveness whenever you do.”
    A husband needs quality time to be alone with himself and with the Lord.
    A husband needs a wife who is grateful for all he has done and all he is doing: “Expect nothing and be genuinely grateful for each little evidence of your husband’s love.”
    A husband needs a wife who will be praised by other people for her character and her good works.

    From here: http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/02/20/hairstyles-of-the-defiant-the-godless/

  99. Pryme said,

    February 22, 2012 at 2:41

    Politics as usual or potential Penthouse letter?

  100. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:06

    Politics as usual or potential Penthouse Mandate letter?

    F’ed for obvious reasons.

  101. Evil is evil said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:06

    I really really wonder why women are not revolting. Some of this anti-woman nonsense that is generated straight from ALEC, is really and truly evil.

    The truly horrible thing is that I believe that supporting these evil laws is a rite of passage into the well-being of the plutocrat-support parties. The Kochs and their brethren have pushed these bills on their servants in the legislatures just to see how much they can get away with.

  102. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:07

    I really really wonder why women are not revolting

    Well, to many of us they are.

  103. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:09

    Surely you must have a recipe.

  104. wiley said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:17

    Good deal, Fenwick. When I was in Germany in 81′ and 82′ it was understood that Germany had the largest and densest concentration of nuclear weapons in the world, and the German youth were pissed about it. I often started conversations with the locals by apologizing for nukes, NATO, and the criminal behavior of some of the troops. I never asked them to apologize for Hitler, nor did I ever pretend that the U.S. beat the Third Reich single-handedly.

    There were still a lot of WWII war widows and war veterans left who thought well of the American military, except for the soldiers who were credited with most of the crime in Germany. I thought they overstated it just a little, but the townspeople had the good graces to remember the rape of a seven year old girl several years prior as if it happened yesterday.

  105. Chris said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:19

    Love is killed by self-sufficiency.

    That’s a conservative outlook on marriage if I ever heard one. If they don’t have a sword of Damocles to hold over their wives’ heads, in the form of those wives’ total dependence on them, they just don’t feel that they’ve got a happy marriage. After all, how can you know she truly loves you unless you know she has no other choice?

    A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities

    I’ve heard it explained by many different people that families need to have a Leader. I have yet to hear a single person coherently explain to me why that Leader has to be the man. (The actual reason – “We’re sexist jerkoffs” – isn’t one they’re too keen to put up front, for some reason).

    A husband needs quality time to be alone with himself and with the Lord.

    The woman, on the other hand, must be available 24/7: if the husband’s desire to screw comes right in the middle of her alone-with-the-Lord-time, she and the Lord are both shit out of luck.

    Love how it’s a full list of “the husband needs:” there’s no equivalent list of what “the wife needs” and none of these things the husband needs apparently are needed by the wife (not even the alone-time for prayer and the like).

  106. wiley said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:21

    Most women are too busy to rise up in anger. It’s the same reason medical staff and caregivers don’t often strike— it means that necessary, life-giving or life-extending work will not be done and people will suffer and possibly die because professionals did not take the responsibility they normally do. The fact that most of the work that women do is unpaid makes no difference. The necessity of the work binds women to it, because men can shirk that responsibility without being labeled a failure to their sex and a woman— wife, ex-wife, or girlfriend— is likely to pick up the slack.

  107. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 22, 2012 at 3:29

    Most women are too busy to rise up in anger.

    I think that the women involved in these tyrannical relationships are too afraid to rise up in anger. The Gospel injunction to “turn the other cheek” aside doesn’t resonate with the craw thumpers as much as the “spare the rod, spoil the child” stuff.

  108. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:05

    Most women are too busy to rise up in anger.

    I am reminded of the scene in The Postman – the book, not that abortion Costner made – when the women Xcode they haven’t been doing their duty to cull the bad men from the tribe. It doesn’t go well for them, as I recall, but it was an interesting slant on “women’s work.”

  109. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:07

    WTF? “Xcode”? Really autocorrect, what the fuck is that? “decide” dammit, “decide.”

  110. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:13

    Xcode is pretty cool is what it is. It was helping.

  111. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:28

    Oh. I was thinking about buying a Mac, little while back, just to play with mobile app development. Found an aged MacBook on CL for not too much $$ but then, since I really domt have any app ideas, I just said “fuckit.”

  112. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:29

    Swinging the Northern right whale.
    Impeding the aesthetic.
    Swinging the quality.
    Wrecking the seedroach swarm.
    Blessing the yeti.
    Terminating the giant anaconda.
    Addressing the grunter.
    Professing the sentiment.
    Playing the Daddy.
    Wringing the camel.
    Exciting the future Nobel prize winner.
    Wringing the love.
    Compressing the insanity.
    Dragging the wonder.
    Professing the love.
    Forcing the sanctity.
    Flinging the burbot.
    Pressing the honey badger.
    Slinging the Pacific lamprey.
    Accessing the opportunity.
    Accessing the wonder.
    Pressing the gender basis.
    Itching the isolation.
    Caressing the peafowl.
    Wrecking the stud.

  113. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:31

    Found an aged MacBook on CL for not too much $$ but then, since I really domt have any app ideas, I just said “fuckit.”

    There’s always pope-exploding.

  114. stryx said,

    February 22, 2012 at 4:51

    from which to imagine themselves skullfucking the universe from their tower of bones.

    Could god make a skull so large even he couldn’t fuck?

    And could you give an address for the tower of bones?

    I’m asking for a friend.

  115. steerpike said,

    February 22, 2012 at 5:26

    Hope you are hanging tough, Steerpike. Even though I’m coming up on one year, I’m still fighting it. I still smoke in (some) dreams. Last two weeks have been very hard for me; I almost broke and bought a pack last Thursday.

    Yup, still free of the evil weed, and not missing it too much. Some thoughts:

    Today is day 42. I had to stop and figure that out, so I probably need to stop thinking in terms of days. Tomorrow makes it 6 weeks, which is easier to calculate. It’s kind of like measuring the age of babies, I think. Pretty soon I will think of it in terms of months, then (hopefully) half-years and years.

    I said I’m not missing it too much, and that’s true, but I have to guard against complacency. I have to stay afraid of cigarettes. If I break down and bum one from someone in a moment of weakness, I know I might as well go buy a carton. I have to keep believing that. I have to keep fearing that.

    The last time I quit, I often found myself smoking in dreams. So far, this time around, that hasn’t happened. In those dreams I never had any recollection of actually deciding to have one, or of lighting up; I would just suddenly become aware that I was smoking, and that I had blown it, “accidentally”, somehow.

    One of the first things a quitting smoker becomes aware of is how truly horrible it smells. How horrible I smelled. You come in from a smoke-break, wash your hands and pop a breath-mint and think you’re good. After a few days clean, you bump into someone who’s just come inside, and phew! it just about knocks you out, and you think, “man, that’s what I smelled like most of the time! How was anyone able to stand being around me?”

    Speaking of smoke-breaks, that’s something I do miss. The first couple of weeks, I took “non-smoke” breaks, where I would go downstairs and walk around the block once or twice, but I haven’t done that lately. What I guess I miss most is the social aspect of the drug. Every day, 2 or three times at least, I got to meet up with other people for a few minutes and visit. For the most part these weren’t people I work with, so conversation tended to be non-work related. Could be sports, the weather, news, jokes, politics, whatever, but it made for a nice brain-break.

  116. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    February 22, 2012 at 5:36

    the plutocrat-support parties.

    From 538:

    Democrats have been slightly more reliant than Republicans on contributions from the very wealthy since at least 1990, somewhat contradicting the proletarian image that the party likes to adopt.

  117. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 5:52

    The last time I quit, I often found myself smoking in dreams. …. In those dreams I never had any recollection of actually deciding to have one, or of lighting up; I would just suddenly become aware that I was smoking, and that I had blown it, “accidentally”, somehow.

    Exactly the same in my dreams, down to smallest detail ! I’m going to try your ‘fear’ attitude…and view cigarettes as the Enemy. The clerks at the convenience store will probably be nonplussed when I exit shouting ‘Run away! Run away !” in my best Graham Chapman imitation….

  118. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 5:54

    Donts have a tee-vee. Did I miss anything amusing / infuriating at the Serious and Classy debate?

  119. wiley said,

    February 22, 2012 at 6:23

    A lot of relapses that are often considered to be “psychological” are actually physiological events in the brain. The little meter in the pleasure/pain part of the dream swings wide at regular intervals (the times that addicts are always warned about) in its attempt to return to normal functioning, creating a “manic” or “depressive” state of mind. It takes the pleasure/pain part of the brain one year after quitting smoking to return to normal functioning. During that year, the brain of a smoker often goes through the chemical processes of smoking a cigarette when seeing others smoking.

    I think once you’re a nicotine addict, you’re always a nicotine addict. I am. And I still smoke, though I am using an e-cigarette more often.

    The dream where I lit up (that year I quit smoking for my husband) is still one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever had. Unfortunately, I just can’t get that horrified of smoking anymore. After all the psychoactive drugs I’ve been on, nicotine still stands as the most useful and the least mind-fucking drug of all.

  120. Snorghagen said,

    February 22, 2012 at 7:17

    Your hairstyle, for example, can show “obedience vs defiance”…

    Disobedience and defiance.

  121. pukebot said,

    February 22, 2012 at 7:34

    shooting all republicans into the sun, now that’s something i can beat off to.

  122. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 7:57

    Snorghagen said,
    February 22, 2012 at 7:17

    Your hairstyle, for example, can show “obedience vs defiance”…

    Disobedience and defiance.

    Disobedience and defiance.

  123. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 22, 2012 at 7:58

    After a few days clean, you bump into someone who’s just come inside, and phew! it just about knocks you out, and you think, “man, that’s what I smelled like most of the time! How was anyone able to stand being around me?”

    Exactly, and you really don’t wanna be that person, anymore. So, stay strong.

    I’ve managed for over seven months, now. It Gets Better.
    .

  124. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:15

    pukebot said,
    February 22, 2012 at 7:34

    shooting all republicans into the sun, now that’s something i can beat off to.

    Why grant them a quick, merciful death?

    Besides, it’s impossible with our technology. Remember you’ve got to kill our entire orbital velocity around the sun to do it. Assuming you’re already in orbit, that’s 29800 – 7700 = 22100 m/s.

    To shoot them out of the Solar System altogether, to freeze to death slowly and miserably, you only have to increase your velocity to ?2 times our orbital velocity: 29800 x (?2 – 1) – 7700 m/s.

    My admittedly ballpark estimate (I’m ignoring gravity losses because that depends on how fast you accelerate) is, with a single-stage hydrogen-oxygen engine with the highest specific impulse ever achieved, 470 seconds (the engine we prevented the Russians from selling to India because we were afraid it’d be used in a missile(!)), you’d need a mass ratio of ~2.75 : 1 to boost them into outer darkness, and a mass ratio of ~120 : 1 to drop them straight into the sun. Obviously impossible. I say let ‘em freeze!

  125. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:16

    Those question marks should be square-root signs. They showed up in preview!

  126. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:22

    They showed up in preview!

    That’s what she said.
    .

  127. Smut Clyde said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:23

    Remember you’ve got to kill our entire orbital velocity around the sun to do it.

    Slingshot trajectories around Jupiter.

  128. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:25

    Slingshot trajectories around Jupiter.

    Claymation busts of Kirk, Spock, Uhura, ending in whale song.
    .

  129. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:35

    If you’re shooting them into the Jovian system, just have them impact on Io. If you want to send somebody to Hell, that’s about as close as you can get.

  130. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:37

    WILEY and MAJOR: Though w-a-y longish as a ‘comment’, this is the e-mail text I sent to the writer offering to serve as a resource for his book on the Cold War. I’ve previously covered much of my service background in scattered comments in Sadly City, but the e-mail consolidates and organizes the material. I boldfaced parts of the original e-mail to make scanning easier. Anyhoo, other Sadlies may be interested in some of ol’ Fenwick’s odd backstory…

    ———————

    Hello.

    I am an internet friend of Wiley’s who frequently comments on Sadly, No! using the the nym ‘Fenwick’. She suggested I contact you and gave me your e-mail address. Let me provide a sketch of my US Army service 1974-1977 … and my unusual perspective on the Cold War. I hope this will enable you to evaluate my suitability as a potential resource for your book.

    SUMMARY

    My name is Stephen [redacted].

    I live in Baltimore; if you want to contact me by phone: [redacted].

    I was among the first wave of enlistees in the all-volunteer Army in 1974; I entered with the intention of making the Army a career. I was trained as a Military Intelligence Analyst (MOS 96B) at the US Army Intelligence Center and School in Fort Huachuca, AZ. I was the Honor Graduate of my class. Eventually I achieved the rank of Specialist Five (E5).

    I served as part of the old Army Security Agency [since merged into INSCOM], a military arm of NSA. My clearance was TSSI [Top Secret with access to Special Intelligence]. I was stationed in Augsburg, Germany; my duty station was at Gablingen [photo: AN/FLR-9 - Wikipedia.] My particular expertise was the 20 divisions of Group of Soviet Forces Germany (GSFG), the five Soviet armies stationed in East Germany. Two colleagues specialized in the forces of other Warsaw Pact nations.

    My unit–the 328th ASA Company–was in direct support of HQ US Army Europe. Our primary focus was SIGINT tactical support for NATO ground forces; we also had reporting responsibilities to NSA. During the course of my work, I also had contact with DIA, GCHQ (UK’s equivalent of NSA), and NATO’s European Defense Analysis Center (EUDAC).

    The 328th’s (very large) Operations Platoon was known as the Primary Control and Analysis Center (PCAC) for ASA tactical units in the European Theater. Essentially, our focus was ground forces between the Alps–Carpathians to the North Sea–Baltic, including mobile anti-aircraft and tactical nuclear missile units subordinate to GSFG. We maintained a 24/7 shop; one of the key concerns was the ‘standing-start’ invasion of West Germany.

    In addition to the ‘live’ mission, I was heavily involved in field training exercises; I designed (and served as Senior Controller for) two specialized training exercises for ASA tactical units; participated as an Army-level ‘player’ in four large REFORGER exercises, and, served as a ‘SIGINT controller’ in an a Corps-level command-post exercise in the Fulda Gap. I spent more time in the field than any other soldier in my unit.

    My responsibilities were highly unusual for an enlisted man of relatively junior rank: I was the senior 96B analyst in the PCAC and served as its principal briefer. I conceived, designed, and developed an early computerized listing of GSFG units (the Master Order of Battle System), comparing the holdings of several major intelligence agencies. (MOBS was a primitive forerunner of the ‘all-source intelligence’ concept.) One of my last acts before debriefing was to ensure its distribution to US negotiators working on the Mutual Balanced Force Reduction talks in Vienna.

    Other background:

    I grew up during the Cold War; I was born several months before the USSR detonated its first nuclear weapon. Before I joined the service, I studied European History at the University of Iowa (specializing in military history) after which I worked full-time as a radio announcer.

    After I left the Army, I travelled solo in Western Europe for six months. I then returned to college and earned a BA in Fiction Writing from Hampshire College and an MFA in Fiction from George Mason University. Thereafter, I made my living as a consultant for the federal government, primarily as a video scriptwriter.

    I hope this sketch provides some useful ‘hard’ background about my service and suitability as a resource for you. I will be glad to assist; feel free to contact me via e-mail or phone.

  131. Major Kong said,

    February 22, 2012 at 8:52

    Your hairstyle, for example, can show “obedience vs defiance”…

    Gives new meaning to “bad hair day”.

  132. wiley said,

    February 22, 2012 at 9:05

    Very interesting background, Fenwick. Funny how you went into fiction writing, and I went for art history then studio art with a concentration in painting/drawing. 180, huh?

  133. Jovian Tourism Board said,

    February 22, 2012 at 10:25

    Pleanty of room here, so come on down!

    Just get as close as the cloudtops & we’ll take care of the rest.

  134. Major Kong said,

    February 22, 2012 at 10:32

    Plenty of room here, so come on down!

    ALL THESE WORLDS

    ARE YOURS EXCEPT
    EUROPA
    ATTEMPT NO
    LANDING THERE
    USE THEM TOGETHER

    USE THEM IN PEACE

  135. Smut Clyde said,

    February 22, 2012 at 12:42

    If you’re shooting them into the Jovian system, just have them impact on Io.

    Have some respect for tradition. Emigration space-ships should take the happy settlers to the South Bay of Venus where the blanket trees and ham bushes and soap roots grow freely.

  136. not a gator said,

    February 22, 2012 at 12:46

    What, no Ross Douthat “How To Lie (About Abortion) With Statistics” takedown [yet]?

    Sadly, No!, I am disappoint.

  137. not a gator said,

    February 22, 2012 at 12:47

    But it hasn’t been enough. True release has been denied to them like their access to the playgrounds of the world and so they’ve found themselves fantasizing larger and larger set pieces from which to imagine themselves skullfucking the universe from their tower of bones.

    That graf is a thing of beauty, Cerb.

  138. not a gator said,

    February 22, 2012 at 12:50

    but then I never envisioned President Obama ordering free birth control for any and every adult female who wanted it

    The horror… the horror

  139. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 22, 2012 at 16:27

    So, Very Reverend Battleax of Knowledge,
    I’m no orbital physicist, but would it be possible to make the orbit more eccentric at a lower energy cost than simply canceling the orbital momentum? If you can give the payload a comet like orbit where the perigee is close enough to (or even touches) the sun, wouldn’t that be good enough?

  140. Major Kong said,

    February 22, 2012 at 16:51

    If you can give the payload a comet like orbit where the perigee is close enough to (or even touches) the sun, wouldn’t that be good enough?

    Just let the thing go explody like Project Vanguard and the orbital issues are pretty much moot.

    Extra points if the rocket says “Acme” on it.

  141. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 22, 2012 at 16:53

    I’m no orbital physicist either. Wouldn’t it actually be easy, at least initially, to squeeze a body’s orbit into a highly eccentric one? Since teh average radius of teh orbit is almost unchanged, teh period would still be one year. Just some fancy placement of teh orbital body would allow for the use of teh Earth’s mass as a “slingshot” at every approach – four times a year. With a bit of fiddling, you’d probably only need a small amount of fuel at teh end to do teh final tilt into teh sun. Granted, it would take years to get to that point, and teh blighters would probably have fried on a much earlier thant teh final approach, but I consider those features and not bugs.

  142. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 22, 2012 at 17:21

    Thinking about it a bit moar, although the orbital paths cross four times, only two would be coincident, so there’d only be two slingshot opportunities per year. Meaning it would take twice as long as whatever unspecified time I had in mind previously.

    Teh silver lining though, since we’re only dealing with two approaches per orbit, it should be easier to play with teh actual approaches. For example, you could also tilt teh whole thing relative to teh solar system’s major plane, meaning not having to worry about interference from other orbital bodies (i.e. premature crashing into Venus or wev).

  143. actor212 said,

    February 22, 2012 at 17:55

    Besides, it’s impossible with our technology. Remember you’ve got to kill our entire orbital velocity around the sun to do it. Assuming you’re already in orbit, that’s 29800 – 7700 = 22100 m/s.

    Actually, it’s not that hard. We’ve done it before. You clip the sun’s photosphere which creates friction and drag and essentially drops the ship into a near-sun orbit. But “near-sun” is actually IN the sun’s photosphere because the sun engulfs the focus of the ellipse at that end of things.

    Indeed, because so much of our orbital inertia is dependent on the mass of the sun, it’s pretty much a slam dunk: you end up in a closed radial elliptical trajectory, as D-KW points out, and eventually it collapses into the larger body.

  144. Nym said,

    February 22, 2012 at 18:16

    @Smut Clyde: :D :D :D

  145. Interrobang said,

    February 22, 2012 at 18:48

    Couldn’t we compromise and, say, send them to Newt’s lunar base…with a limited supply of air?

    Speaking as a Soviet Canuck, I’m really weirded out by this anti-sex-everything stance the Republicans have adopted (biology wasn’t good enough, I guess). This is the massive hill o’crazy they want to die on? Santorum, bless his pointy little head, even came out against amniocentesis the other day, ’cause he says it’s a ruse by doctors to get us stupid wimminz to have MOAR ABOARSHUNZ!

    I knew the Republicans were misogynists, but even I thought they thought that women were smarter than that; but apparently we’re all drooling institutional cases or something. I’m having trouble fathoming why there are any female Republicans left at this point, even though most of the non-rank-and-file ones seem to think they’re Honourary Man-type spayshul snowflakes, and the Rules Will Not Apply To Them. (I wish they could hear what the male ones call them when they’re out of the room.)

    Last night my housemate said to me, “I have some friends who’d like to crash in our basement for a while when the paperwork becomes final and the US turns into the Republic of Gilead.” I laughed and said, “We’re gonna need a bigger basement.”

  146. Lunch Lady said,

    February 22, 2012 at 20:37

    Stick to ketchup, kid. You don’t know where those condiments have been.

  147. Smut Clyde said,

    February 22, 2012 at 20:47

    Wouldn’t it actually be easy, at least initially, to squeeze a body’s orbit into a highly eccentric one? Since teh average radius of teh orbit is almost unchanged, teh period would still be one year.

    No efficient way of doing that. Needs one burn to inject angular momentum and move into an orbit with the right apohelion; then another burn, while at apohelion, to subtract angular momentum again and shift the orbit to the desired perihelion. IIRC the near-sun probes so far have all used slingshot manoeuvres to get there. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIooops.

    Or we can leave it to the free-market space enthusiasts to find a cheaper way.

  148. jim said,

    February 22, 2012 at 20:50

    GOTCHA-M3D1A BL00D L1B3L!!!

  149. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 20:53

    Extra points if the rocket says “Acme” on it.

    Extra points for you too, Major.

  150. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:06

    Isn’t gravity just a theory anyway?

  151. smedley said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:16

    Well, I got my Acme rocket from FedEx just the other day. Believe me, they weren’t kidding when the instructions said “Some Assembly Required.” Now, if I can just my hands on some radioactive plutonium-238 without raising any suspicion………..

  152. not a gator said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:19

    Santorum, bless his pointy little head, even came out against amniocentesis the other day, ’cause he says it’s a ruse by doctors to get us stupid wimminz to have MOAR ABOARSHUNZ!

    Nothing new in winger pro-life circles–concern trolls have been concerned about that for years.

    Tons of emotion + no logic + no fucking idea what they’re talking about = idiotic public policy like the partial birth abortion ban

  153. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:37

    No efficient way of doing that.

    What if the rocket is more bigger and more powerfuller?

  154. Smut Clyde said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:51

    What if the rocket is more bigger and more powerfuller?
    PROJECT ORION.

  155. N__B said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:52

    What if the rocket is more bigger and more power fuller?

    Jeez. Why don’t you just whip it out?

  156. jim said,

    February 22, 2012 at 21:59

    Whoa. Amniocentesis? SRSLY?

    Pro-auto-da-fé ballot initiatives ahoy!

    A Barbaric Theocratic Corporatist Warlord ticket just like the Founding Fathers intended, you betcha.

  157. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2012 at 22:52

    A libertarian view:

    By exempting churches from the birth control mandate, Obama concedes their religious freedom is at stake. But he arbitrarily denies that freedom to church-affiliated organizations. Although he acknowledges “many genuine concerns” about the mandate, he isn’t willing to address them in a genuine way.

    Christakis has some advice for people forced to subsidize services condemned by their religion: Suck it up. She says, “The cost of living in a democracy is tolerating moral judgments we don’t always like.” Yet that is exactly what Obama refuses to do.

    An employer’s freedom is entirely different from employee’s freedom. It’s GOLD FREEDOM.

  158. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 22, 2012 at 22:57

    Hey, Paper Camera now does cat video. Huh.
    .

  159. DAS said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:08

    Actually Murdock’s argument is a warmed over liberal argument about Bush’s power grab (no double entendre intended): imagine that the powers so-called conservatives claimed GW Bush had to have would be in the hands of a Democratic president.

  160. N__B said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:13

    An employer’s freedom is entirely different from employee’s freedom. It’s WIN PRO GOLD FREEDOM.

    fuqqst.

  161. DAS said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:16

    BTW — Cotton Mather? Really? Is that to whom he wants to compare Santorum?

    I was thinking this was odd purely on theological grounds (Catholic vs. Calvinist), but then it occurred to me to wikipedia Mather before commenting, and what did it remind me of? That Cotton Mather got into a lot of trouble for promoting smallpox vaccination!

    The correct Cotton Mather related analogy would be if Cotton Mather included a clause in Cotton-Mather-care that required insurance companies to cover smallpox vaccinations where medically necessary (with an opt-out that insurance for employees of churches didn’t have to cover such inoculations, but requiring that insurance for employees of church-affiliated public accommodations would have to cover such inoculations) and the other Puritans raised a stink about that coverage requirement.

    Essentially (especially given that Obama is a member of the UCC, which has roots in the Puritan churches of New England), equating Santorum (and not Obama) with Mather is an analogy fail on so many levels, I can’t figure out where to begin. Heck, even conservatives are wont to point out how “liberals are the real Puritans”.

  162. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:18

    In case you missed it, Stewart’s take-down of Virginia’s ‘transvaginal ultrasound’ law is epic. [5:30] Also, now looks like the mockery is getting through to the Gooper Gov: Instead of signing the law as-is, he will apparently send it back to legislature.

  163. Fenwick said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:33

    squeeze a body’s orbit into a highly eccentric one

    Isn’t this a kama sutra position?

    Day-um. I knew Sadlies were smart people, but I didn’t know we had so many rocket scientists in town. I am truly impressed!

  164. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:37

    Pupienus Maximus said,

    Isn’t gravity just a theory anyway?

    Yeah! I believe My very scientific theory is that everything on the planet is held down by adorable little invisible flying nano-creatures gently shoving it. The reason that this force decreases as you head out into space is that the critters can’t breathe out there, of course.

    We must Teach the controversy!

  165. Whale Chowder said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:39

    A question for Fenwick: with a college degree and with the military hurting for cannon fodder personnel, I am surprised they didn’t hustle you into OCS. Did that come up at all?

  166. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:42

    OK, OK, you guys win: I oversimplified. There are other ways to skin a cat (skinning the cat) than a “most-economical” Hohmann-orbit. Just as MESSENGER took seven years to get to Mercury when the Hohmann ellipse would take less than four months, you can do a lot of things by playing planetary pinball.

    It’s just that I get annoyed at a lot of sci-fi movies and TV shows that talk like if you let go of something, it’ll just fall into the Sun, when in actuality, that’s just about the hardest thing to do.

    Helmut’s eccenrric elliptical orbit that just grazes the Earth’s orbit at one end and the surface of the Sun at the other would be indistinguishable from a straight line if you drew it on a piece of paper, but, yeah, that would save you a few m/s—more oversimplification on my part.

  167. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:44

    Day-um. I knew Sadlies were smart people, but I didn’t know we had so many rocket scientists in town. I am truly impressed!

    Yes, I like so many other Sadly commenters am a rocket scientist. But we aren’t like those ivory tower wusses at NASA learning their rocket science at “MIT” or “Caltech” or the “Jet Propulsion Laboratory”. I learned my rocket science on the street. I didn’t have a safety department to wetnurse me through learning safe hydrazine handling techniques, I didn’t have supercomputers to check my turbopump designs with “computational fluid modeling” or “finite element analysis” No sir, I did it the way the pioneers did. With good old Yankee know how. (It pays far better than Kansas City Royals know how)
    I learned how to calculate an orbital trajectory with a telescope, a protractor and a stop watch. I launched my first monkey in a homemade space capsule (the trunk of a 1972 Chevy Vega). I never looked back. Anyone can do rocket science when they have smart people, billions of taxpayers and the admiration of a grateful nation. It takes guts to do rocket science when all you have is a 1972 Vega.

  168. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:44

    There are other ways to skin a cat

    Please, just no.
    .

  169. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:48

    We all need to get away from our computers and spread the word about this shit. I don’t think most of us realize what a tiny minority the people who read about this Republican insanity on blogs are. The MSM is never going to report on it, because they’d have to talk about icky sex stuff and lady parts and ICKY-POO! 99% of the population has no idea this crap is going on! Buttonhole some of the low-information voters (you know, morons!) that you come in contact with and tell them about it.

  170. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:51

    It takes guts to do rocket science when all you have is a 1972 Vega.

    It takes guts to go to the 7-11 for a Slurpee when all you have is a 1972 Vega.

    Actually, people talk about the Pinto, but the car I really felt I was taking my life in my hands going 35 mph in was the Maverick.

  171. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 22, 2012 at 23:54

    Actually, people talk about the Pinto, but the car I really felt I was taking my life in my hands going 35 mph in was the Maverick.

    I spent a large fraction of my childhood riding around in the back of a copper colored AMC Pacer, and after my sister was born, a beige AMC pacer wagon, complete with faux wood paneling. It probably wasn’t that unsafe, except from an aesthetic standpoint.

  172. wiley said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:00

    Can’t we just feed them to the sharks?

  173. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:02

    It takes guts to go to the 7-11 for a Slurpee when all you have is a 1972 Vega.

    If a Vega didn’t have rust it was still on the assembly line.

  174. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:04

    My very scientific theory is that everything on the planet is held down by adorable little invisible flying nano-creatures gently shoving it.

    But how many of them can dance on the head of a pin?

  175. Smut Clyde said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:16

    Real rocket scientists use 1964 Chevrolet Malibus.

  176. jim said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:24

    OUT = planking.

    IN = attack laundering!

  177. Fenwick said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:24

    Jeffraham: I can understand where she’s coming from. Hey, I love pussies, too!

    Helmut: Your description of your background in streetwise rocket science got funnier and funnier and funnier. I was in stitches by the end of it.

    the car I really felt I was taking my life in my hands going 35 mph in was the Maverick.

    Reverend: In 1963, my brother and I (9th graders) used to go croozin’ at night with a Cool High School Guy who could actually DRIVE and had his VERY OWN CAR! I liked it so much, I bought a model car kit and painted it fire-engine red, just the Cool Guy’s.

    Chevy Corvair convertible. Even with the top down, the powerful gasoline fumes sometimes gave me a headache … but I didn’t want to be uncool by saying anything.

  178. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:53

    Chevy Corvair convertible. Even with the top down, the powerful gasoline fumes sometimes gave me a headache … but I didn’t want to be uncool by saying anything.

    I hated Ralph Nader long before he gave Bush the White House in 2000. His attack on the automotive industry might have been justified, but his boneheaded ignorance on the subject completely turned me off of him for good.

    If American small cars had followed the lead of the Corvair (imitating the VW), rather than the Falcon (imitating the Morris Minor), we’d all be better off.

    Actually, I can beat your story. A buddy of mine in high school had a Morris Minor. It would shake like a wet dog if you managed to get it up to 50. Remember the speed limit on the freeway was 70 in those days….

    (I always wanted one of these.)

  179. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2012 at 0:57

    But how many of them can dance on the head of a pin?

    Precisely eleventy, no more, no less.

  180. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:03

    Smut Clyde said,
    February 23, 2012 at 0:16

    Real rocket scientists use 1964 Chevrolet Malibus.

    With aliens in the trunk?

  181. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:05

    (I always wanted one of these.)

    Wow.

    And yes, Nader also needs to be shot into the sun tied up, thrown in the trunk of a Corvair, and driven into Lake Michigan.

  182. bughunter who always forgets about his nym field said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:28

    But we aren’t like those ivory tower wusses at NASA learning their rocket science at [rival redacted] or “Caltech” or the “Jet Propulsion Laboratory”.

    Um, sadlyno. Some of us are…

  183. John Revolta said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:29

    With aliens in the trunk?

    Oh………………..you don’t want to look in there.

  184. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:33

    Put it on a plate, son. You’ll enjoy it more.

  185. Smut Clyde said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:40

    Lunch lady nymfail.

  186. Fenwick said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:41

    Breaking news (via TPM) from Virginia:

    VIRGINIA SENATOR PLANS TO PULL INVASIVE ULTRASOUND BILL | Just moments after the Virginia House passed an amended version, state Sen. Jill Holtzman Vogel (R) announced she will seek to strike her controversial “abortion informed consent” bill, rather than accept a watered-down version passed by the House of Delegates. Her original legislation would have required women to undergo unnecessary and invasive ultrasound procedures prior to obtaining abortions, but a House amendment weakened that requirement. The move comes on the heals of late night mockery, public protest, and Gov. Bob McDonnell’s (R) backtracking on his prior support of the measure. Vogel’s decision likely means that her bill won’t be considered this year.

    *chortle*

  187. N__B said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:51

    1964 Chevrolet Malibus.

    It didn’t sell as well as Chevy’s previous school transport vehicle, the 1963 Bonnibus.

  188. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2012 at 1:55

    And yes, Nader also needs to be shot into the sun tied up, thrown in the trunk of a Corvair, and driven into Lake Michigan.

    Relevant:

    Locked in the Trunk of a Car

  189. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:36

    Creamed Brine Dragon with Unchanging Braised Mizithra Cheeses

    Ingredients:
    5 tablespoons brine dragon
    4 cups Mizithra cheese
    1 gall of goat
    4 bunches familial centaur war hulk tail, glazed
    3 gallons flour
    6 gallons baking powder

    Profligately grease a cookie sheet. Cream the brine dragon with a really big fork. Stir the Mizithra cheese with the gall of goat over medium heat in a pot. Pour resulting goo over the brine dragon. Find some kirsch and drink it. Pull – very disbelievingly – the centaur war hulk tail, flour, and the baking powder. Mush everything together. Abandon for 102 minutes. Serves 10 pleasurable friends with strange stomachs.

  190. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:40

    There are other ways to skin a cat

    The best way, though, is to do it when the cat is dead but still warm. Cut through the skin at each ankle. Make an incision between the hind legs, cutting forward toward ….

  191. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:40

    Is that an Asian Brine Dragon or an African Brine Dragon?

  192. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:45

    My dad raced a Corvair. I was too young to be familiar with the details at that time, all I remember was going to the strip on Saturday with the whole family (all 9 kids if my oldest brothers were in town). Now, dad was an engineer’s engineer. He loved his Corvairs. He also like his Chrysler New Yorker wagon with the 426 hemi but that’s another story.

  193. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:46

    That is not enough baking powder.

  194. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:47

    Is that an Asian Brine Dragon or an African Brine Dragon?

    I see home-grown brine dragons are not good enough for Mr. Snooty-Pants Liberal.

  195. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:47

    Brining the dragon

  196. N__B said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:51

    Dragging the brine.

  197. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:55

    Dragging the brine…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skydln4BhDI

  198. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2012 at 2:55

    I see home-grown brine dragons are not good enough for Mr. Snooty-Pants Liberal.

    Well, if they were free-range brine dragons I suppose they’d be OK. I just don’t like factory dragon farms.

  199. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 23, 2012 at 3:07

    Re: Dragons—ya gots ta go to Fenris to get the real thing!

  200. Fenwick said,

    February 23, 2012 at 3:17

    Sub: Bestest bizarre food pr0n evah.

    Pup: Thanx much for Draggin the Line ! Took me back to a good place in my life.

  201. Cerberus said,

    February 23, 2012 at 3:23

    Oh hey, Douchehat’s being a moron again.

    Let’s all mock him with NEW POST POWER!

  202. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 23, 2012 at 5:57

    Helmut, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. And I agree with the Major about the rust. At least that’s one thing car makers have improved.

  203. address my envelope, lips! said,

    February 23, 2012 at 5:58

    I just need to add a sincere congratulations on that post. That was sheer poetry. Brava!

  204. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 23, 2012 at 16:30

    Um, sadlyno. Some of us are…

    Well you do rocket science your way, and me and the rest of the Yoknapatawpha County Aeronautics and Space Administration will do it our way.

  205. Spengler Dampniche said,

    February 23, 2012 at 18:02

    First!

  206. Folding Table Richard said,

    April 25, 2012 at 16:20

    Thanks for the blog article.Much thanks again.

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