Jan
24

Sir, I Appreciate Your Honesty




Posted at 8:48 by Cerberus


The Solanum tuberosum commonly has its largest growth underneath itself.

Adam Hasner, American Reverse Spew:
Conservatism Set Me on the Pro-Life Path

If there is one word to describe this nascent year in conservatism, it’d be batshit. If two, it’d be fucking batshit, but before this turns into a Monty Python skit, let’s skip straight ahead and note that beyond the usual doubling down of crazy, the season has been dominated by an incredible amount of dishonesty.

Now, dishonesty and wingnuts go together like Republicans and double wetsuit dildos, but even for our annually fact-challenged, there has been a noticeable increase in the usual areas. Projection has skyrocketed to accommodate their candidates realizing that the 27% are pretty much the only Republican primary voters left. And Republican candidates realizing that they no longer need to pretend to value truth to our bought-and-sold media have begun openly spinning their preferred model of reality as if the internet didn’t make it embarrassingly easy to disprove their fantasies.

Hell, one can say that we’ve gotten so used to conservatives defaulting to dishonesty as a first recourse, that it is rather shocking when they deliver some long lost honesty, much like a sickening flower blooming once every thousand years.

So it is, with this quaint post by Republican Senatorial candidate and professional tater lookalike, Adam Hasner.

I thought the interview with Anne Conlon was both impressive and instructive, and it stirred in me some thoughts about abortion in America, on this, the day of the annual March for Life in Washington.

Ah, right, the 39th anniversary of Roe v Wade has many conservatives reflective on how they always seem to be decades behind an issue they already decisively lost, but are still fighting anyways.

As a Jew, I can appreciate the evolution of Conlon’s — and others’ — thought process on the issue of abortion. And I know first hand what it’s like to disagree with family and friends on this fundamental issue.

I attended public schools growing up, and while the Jewish faith is theologically and historically a pro-life faith, the strong strain of secularism within Judaism has taken many in the religion away from its pro-life roots.

Well, he’s a conservative. He couldn’t have a post that was entirely honesty, so he sells a quick lie to keep his hand in and signal the mouth-breathers that he isn’t some traitor who acknowledges the sky is blue.

As the son of liberal Democrats, I didn’t inherit my pro-life views or have them engrained in me by schooling or my institutions of faith.

I have listened to the stories of people explaining how viewing an ultrasound for the first time or the experience of becoming a father or a mother can solidify a belief in the sanctity of life. I have not experienced this either.

And yet I still arrived at the conclusion that every life is sacred from conception until natural death. That is because we cherish life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in this country, and those rights should extend to every life, born and unborn.

Except women, of course.

But I have to hand it to him, a conservative not pretending that his “deeply held beliefs” has any connection to some sort of “profound event” often with a wink and a nod suggesting that evil liberal abortionists have never done something as profound as “seen an ultrasound”?

So Mr. Hasner, if not those things, what was it that made you such a staunch forced-birther? Will you spin some story about Planned Parenthood and Hitler? Seeing an aborted fetus reanimate itself and beg for the rescinding of established medical ethics and law? The gun currently being held against your head by a fanatical “pro-life” terrorist?

I arrived at these conclusions because, before I ever really thought of the abortion issue, I was a conservative.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you that rare and delicate thing.

Naked honesty from a conservative.

Appreciate this gem, for we will not see its like for many a day hence.

I came of age during the Reagan Revolution, steeped myself in conservatism, and registered as a Republican at age 18. Being pro-life isn’t just a moral issue for me; it’s a historical and constitutional one. Understanding the creation of Planned Parenthood and the pro-abortion movement helped shape my view. But I’m pro-life because I was conservative first. I wonder how many other people out there can say the same.

I have a much deeper faith today, and I find pride and comfort in Judaism’s historical defense of life. But I know that conservatism helped set me on the path.

He’s anti-choice because he was a conservative and being a conservative means you buy whatever half-formed insane nonsense is presented to you as the price of the tribe. And those beliefs are now dear to him, because being fanatically anti-woman is how you show membership to the tribe, to question it is to question the tribe.

If this seems suspiciously like a cult, then you should be ashamed of yourself!

Cults get better hats.

That’s why I recoil whenever I hear people — even those within my own party — say we need to get away from social issues.

Yeah! How dare we get away from social issues I only care about because I was told being conservative meant I had to care about those issues and conservatives are nothing if not firm believers in the practice of sunk costs?

Not changing even when reality and the will of the people say otherwise is the hallmark of a great man…or someone incapable of handling the task of dressing and feeding themselves daily. One or the other.

Or that we’re “on the losing side” of the marriage debate, or the sanctity of life argument. The defense of life just doesn’t “move voters,” I’ve heard more than one consultant say.

I hope that never becomes the majority view in our movement. If it does, we will never earn the right to be the governing majority in America, nor will we deserve to. I will continue to speak clearly and consistently on the connection between our moral values and economic prosperity.

Yeah, how would we ever manage to hold the governing majority in America if we cater to petty things like “the will of the people”? Or acknowledge that spewing archaic shit people thought settled decades ago just makes people less keen on electing us to positions of power?

The real path to power is to espouse reviled and bigoted beliefs long past their for-sale date. For instance, have you ever considered that the real path to power lies in ranting about the perfidy of the Irishman?

The anniversary of Roe v. Wade is a grim observance. It marks an uncorrected mistake in American history. If the conservative movement ever stops being the home of the pro-life movement, this grim observance — and its consequences — will mark many more anniversaries.

I’m not sure that sentence manages to actually successfully say anything.

But I guess you needed to demonstrate your fealty to the crazy train after basically spending a post noting that the only reason you are a “firm believer in this moral cause” is because you fear getting off this train is the fastest route to ending up on those lists “perfectly legal and not at all connected to the lone-wolf terrorist” “pro-life” organizations like to circulate with the home addresses and daily schedules of “enemies”.

It’s okay, just wink once for “he’s got a gun against my head” and I’ll totally come help you, once I’m done making a sandwich.

Now, what mustard goes best with rye?

842 Comments »

  1. The Amazing Fenwick said,

    January 24, 2012 at 8:52

    Frist! Can I haz medal, pleez?

  2. Smut Clyde said,

    January 24, 2012 at 8:56

    <i.while the Jewish faith is theologically and historically a pro-life faith, the strong strain of secularism within Judaism has taken many in the religion away from its pro-life roots.

    He did not leave mainstream non-Taliban Judaism… mainstream Judaism left him.

  3. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 24, 2012 at 8:57

    doy
    .

  4. Fenwick said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:04

    Cults get better hats.

    I wan’t drinking any liquid. No harm done.

  5. Dorothy said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:05

    “while the Jewish faith is theologically and historically a pro-life faith…”

    I hope there’s a Jewish person in the comments who can enlighten me further, but as I recall, Jewish law (like most other historical models) didn’t consider abortion wrong until after the quickening (when you could feel the baby in the womb) which is around 5 months in. And even then, the primary laws were against causing other people to have an abortion (If a man hits a pregnant woman and causes an abortion, he pays the woman’s husband restitution). Is there actually a Jewish law against a woman terminating her own pregnancy?

    And Roe only allowed abortion through the 6th month–after that, it required a threat to the life or health of the mother. Seems like Roe’s ruling and the “quickening” laws are pretty well aligned…

  6. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:12

    the real path to power lies in ranting about the perfidy of the Irishman

    And left-handed people. A southpaw Irishman is the perfect personification of perfidy.

  7. Smut Clyde said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:30

    as I recall, Jewish law (like most other historical models) didn’t consider abortion wrong until after the quickening (when you could feel the baby in the womb) which is around 5 months in.

    Clearly the slide away from traditional, conservative Judaism began a long time ago, along with the slide away from True Scotsmanhood.

  8. Smut Clyde said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:38

    NOM NOM NOM.

  9. Sir Craig said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:41

    “I am pro-life because I am a conservative.”

    Yet how many here would bet me Cerberus’ ham-on-rye (with horseradish mustard) that, if “Chuckles” Hasner were asked, he might come up with a few instances where death was not just the preferable option but the only option?

  10. Fenwick said,

    January 24, 2012 at 9:44

    I got nothin’ folks.

    The superhero kryptonite of the last thread may have fatally weakened me.

    I’ll be in the Fortress of Solitude. In my bunk.

  11. Another Kiwi said,

    January 24, 2012 at 10:09

    If this guy is not Neil Sedaka, Fenwick will eat his hat.
    I see seven foot tall purple slime monsters not because I took the brown acid, but because I am a Conservative.

  12. Christopher said,

    January 24, 2012 at 10:20

    Yeah, how would we ever manage to hold the governing majority in America if we cater to petty things like “the will of the people”?

    Let’s be fair here, a lot of the causes you and I like either aren’t or weren’t popular with Da People. 30 years ago the conservatives were aligned with the will of the people in hating fags. That doesn’t make it right that they did.

    And yet I still arrived at the conclusion that every life is sacred from conception until natural death. That is because we cherish life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in this country, and those rights should extend to every life, born and unborn.

    Doop de doop, let’s just head on over to Hasner’s website and find out about the other life cherishing things he approves of:

    • Pass medical malpractice reforms so we stop wasting valuable health care dollars on doctors protecting themselves from lawyers.

    • Save Medicare by passing reforms similar to those in the Ryan plan.

    • Win the war against radical Islamic jihadists.

    • Replace the United Nations with a coalition of democratic governments who share common values and common interests.

    • Continue to develop and deploy missile defense systems.

    • Defend our ally Israel from rogue nations who seek to destroy her

    Also, why is it that whenever I see somebody say that all life is sacred, from birth to death, I just know they’re going to be endorsed by the NRA?

    To be fair, though, I couldn’t find his opinions on the Iraq war. I have to assume he was against it, what with his deep respect for the sanctity of human life and all.

    Also, too, Adam Hasner is an idiot.

  13. Smut Clyde said,

    January 24, 2012 at 11:50

    Also, why is it that whenever I see somebody say that all life is sacred, from birth to death, I just know they’re going to be endorsed by the NRA?

    Why is it that whenever I see someone worried about fundamentalist Islamic nutcases wanting to ret-con their religious law on everyone, I just know they’re going to be fundamentalist Christian or Jewish nutcases wanting to ret-con their religious law on everyone?

  14. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 12:31

    I have not experienced this either.

    Shorter Hasner:

    I know nothing but I know it when I see it.

  15. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 12:34

    Dorothy

    Link

    As a general rule, abortion in Judaism is permitted only if there is a direct threat to the life of the mother by carrying the fetus to term or through the act of childbirth. In such a circumstance, the baby is considered tantamount to a rodef, a pursuer6 after the mother with the intent to kill her. Nevertheless, as explained in the Mishna,7 if it would be possible to save the mother by maiming the fetus, such as by amputating a limb, abortion would be forbidden.

    In other words, in Jewish law, if the mother’s life is threatened, Jews go America one better and *require* abortion.

  16. N__B said,

    January 24, 2012 at 13:57

    “I am pro-life because I am a conservative.”

    I am pro-torture because I am a conservative.

    I am pro-poverty because I am a conservative.

    I am pro-caste-system because I am a conservative.

    Tell the guys working on AI they can quit: we have found a self-replicating meme.

  17. Comrade Rutherford said,

    January 24, 2012 at 15:35

    “I came of age during the Reagan Revolution”

    So did I, but I took one look at the lying sacks of shit that are conservatives and the Obviously Not Actually President Reagan laying waste to millions of American’s lives and decided that I had a conscience, and that conscience prevented me from ever being any degree of ‘conservative’.

    Unlike conservatives, I think about people other than myself. I care about total strangers, whereas conservatives look upon strangers as a clean canvas to exploit for profit. I believe the Imperial Japanese and Nazi Germans were wrong to torture (waterboard) people, unlike todays conservatives that hold up the Nazis as paragons of virtue to be emulated.

  18. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 24, 2012 at 15:45

    I am anti brown people because I am a conservative.

    I am anti-women because I am a conservative.

    I am anti-poor people because I am a conservative.

    I am anti-everything that is not white, fanatically Judeo-Christian and male because I am a conservative.

    I am pro-potato because I am a potato.

  19. N__B said,

    January 24, 2012 at 15:52

    So did I, but I took one look at the lying sacks of shit that are conservatives and the Obviously Not Actually President Reagan laying waste to millions of American’s lives

    Circa 1981, proto-wingnuts used to say to me that Ronnie reminded them of their grandfathers. My stock response was “Really? Because my grandfathers weren’t racist lying morons.”

  20. Major Kong said,

    January 24, 2012 at 15:56

    “I came of age during the Reagan Revolution”

    So did I, and I hate to admit that I bought into it – for a while.

    Pat Buchanan’s speech at the 1992 GOP convention was the last straw for me.

  21. paleotectonics said,

    January 24, 2012 at 16:12

    I came of age during the Reagan episode, and I recall my dad being unemployed for about 2 1/2 years of it. I remember Haig staging a mini-coup. I remember Oliver North staging a macro-coup. I remember Don Regan declaring that the Beach Boys, not settling for merely being insipid and derivative of their one-time brilliance, were now a moral threat to America’s yoots (play him some Madonna and watch liver-spotted head asplode). I remember the speech in Philadelphia, taking the Southern Strategy primetime, and at Bitburg – and how the Bitburg speech so endeared him to Jews who were not Likud. Kiss my ass Adam. And pay Michael J. Fox royalties for stealing his character.

    Shorter right-wing hemisblog:

    I’m not sure that sentence manages to actually successfully say anything.

  22. Cerberus said,

    January 24, 2012 at 16:36

    Let’s be fair here, a lot of the causes you and I like either aren’t or weren’t popular with Da People. 30 years ago the conservatives were aligned with the will of the people in hating fags. That doesn’t make it right that they did.

    True, but he’s not talking about that. He’s talking about things that were once popular to resist, but thanks to years of liberals fighting tooth and nail for the basic humanity of others, are now less popular than rattlesnake bites.

    But he still wants to support them anyways, because maybe that bigot hymen can be repaired.

    Also because he’s a conservative.

  23. Pryme said,

    January 24, 2012 at 16:59

    Damn the “Ahems!” This is too good to be true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQIMDTjHB6A

  24. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:06

    Damn the “Ahems!” This is too good to be true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQIMDTjHB6A

    I have already had to put down three instances of murderous rage this morning (may they rest in peace) and I am not sure that I can fend off more than five in a single day.

    Please do not do that again! Or at least if you must, make sure that it is before I have been exposed to Megan McMeMe.

    .

  25. Major Kong said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:14

    Damn the “Ahems!” This is too good to be true

    I made it through about 30 seconds before the projectile vomiting kicked in.

  26. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:26

    I don’t think I will stand with governor Walker actually. In 20-30 years when he finally croaks I’d be happy to dance on his grave though.

  27. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:27

    Damn the “Ahems!” This is too good to be true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQIMDTjHB6A

    You have to stand with Walker. If you stand behind him…the farts…oh, the farts.

    Comments are disabled for a reason!

  28. DAS said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:42

    I hope there’s a Jewish person in the comments who can enlighten me further, but as I recall, Jewish law (like most other historical models) didn’t consider abortion wrong until after the quickening (when you could feel the baby in the womb) which is around 5 months in. And even then, the primary laws were against causing other people to have an abortion (If a man hits a pregnant woman and causes an abortion, he pays the woman’s husband restitution). Is there actually a Jewish law against a woman terminating her own pregnancy?

    I see actor212 beat me to the punchline here, but I figure I’ll still add my $0.02 here: Jewish law tends to take the tack that since life is complicated, religious law should be up to the task of dealing with said complications. Thus, Jewish law, on abortion as with anything else, is complicated.

    The gist is that Jewish law is pretty much on par with Rowe v. Wade in terms of trimesters, etc. but with the caveat that in general abortion is indeed prohibited rather than allowed. However, the exceptions wherein abortion is allowed are pretty generous (and as actor212 points out, under certain circumstances abortion, e.g. via what is essentially so-called partial birth abortion, is manditory — although the law of the rodef being invoked would imply that it is only manditory and even allowed for a Jewish health care provider to provide an abortion for a Jewish woman under such circumstances and you goyim are on your own to make your own decisions and provide your own health care providers — in the case of a life being threatened), especially in the first 40 days of pregnancy when the embryo is considered to be “water”. In short abortion is allowed if a woman’s health (physical or mental) is gravely threatened by the pregnancy and mandatory if the woman’s life is at stake. And thus anti-abortion measures that interfere with a woman being able to obtain a life-saving abortion would INFRINGE on our religious rights as Jews!*

    I am not a Rabbi, but my understanding is that there is an issue of standing here as well: since it is the woman’s body in question, it is her interests (as well as to a limited extent the interests of her kids, if she has any, who depend on her)

  29. Thread Bear said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:44

    Comments are disabled for a reason!

    I am shocked, shocked I say, to find that ratings have been disabled as well.

  30. DAS said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:47

    I hope there’s a Jewish person in the comments who can enlighten me further, but as I recall, Jewish law (like most other historical models) didn’t consider abortion wrong until after the quickening (when you could feel the baby in the womb) which is around 5 months in. And even then, the primary laws were against causing other people to have an abortion (If a man hits a pregnant woman and causes an abortion, he pays the woman’s husband restitution). Is there actually a Jewish law against a woman terminating her own pregnancy?

    I see actor212 beat me to the punchline here, but I figure I’ll still add my $0.02 here: Jewish law tends to take the tack that since life is complicated, religious law should be up to the task of dealing with said complications. Thus, Jewish law, on abortion as with anything else, is complicated.

    The gist is that Jewish law is pretty much on par with Rowe v. Wade in terms of trimesters, etc. but with the caveat that in general abortion is indeed prohibited rather than allowed. However, the exceptions wherein abortion is allowed are pretty generous (and as actor212 points out, under certain circumstances abortion, e.g. via what is essentially so-called partial birth abortion, is manditory — although the law of the rodef being invoked would imply that it is only manditory and even allowed for a Jewish health care provider to provide an abortion for a Jewish woman under such circumstances and you goyim are on your own to make your own decisions and provide your own health care providers — in the case of a life being threatened), especially in the first 40 days of pregnancy when the embryo is considered to be “water”. In short abortion is allowed if a woman’s health (physical or mental) is gravely threatened by the pregnancy and mandatory if the woman’s life is at stake. And thus anti-abortion measures that interfere with a woman being able to obtain a life-saving abortion would INFRINGE on our religious rights as Jews!*

    I am not a Rabbi, but my understanding is that there is an issue of standing here as well: since it is the woman’s body in question, it is her interests (as well as to a limited extent the interests of her kids, if she has any, who depend on her) that matter, not her fetus’s. While the fetus, having the potential to be a person, must be treated as a divine creation and thus respected, Judaism does not weigh the fetus’ interests as equal to that of a pregnant woman (and certainly gives no standing to the husband/male partner). Thus, many Jews would say an abortion is a decision that should be left to the woman in consultation with her Rabbi and physician rather than made by a state which is not competent to render decisions about Jewish law.

    * BTW in my experience many “pro-life” Jews simply don’t understand that “pro-life” Christians really do believe that it is wrong to abort even when a woman’s life is in danger. They think that the “pro-life” movement only seeks to prohibit some spector of “abortion on demand” as if women are getting abortions for kicks and giggles. They really think that the “pro-life” movement seeks to model US abortion law on “Biblical” (i.e. Jewish) abortion law and completely miss the scope of what the “pro-life movement” (as a movement rather than just as a few extremists) seeks to legislate.

  31. DAS said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:47

    pardon the double post — I posted prematurely (veiled pre-mature ejaculation reference?)

  32. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:51

    I remember Don Regan declaring that the Beach Boys, not settling for merely being insipid and derivative of their one-time brilliance, were now a moral threat to America’s yoots
    Actually that was James Watts. I remember he cancelled the Beach Bys’ appearance on the Mall for the 4th of July, 1983, and replaced him with that paragon of family values and Christian conserviatism, Wayne Newton. I was actually there that day. When Newton came onstage, it started to rain, one of those heavy, but brief summer showers that cools things off marginally, but also raised the humidity. I remember a group of drunk, debaushed yoots nearby standing huddled under a blanket, chanting “Wayne Wayne, Go Away!.” Good Times, good times.

    I also came of age during the Reagan Error. In fact, I still am.

  33. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 24, 2012 at 17:59

    Ahh, the Reagan era. When Republicans stopped apologizing for corruption and embraced it as their core competency.

  34. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:04

    Actually that was James Watts.

    Watt?

  35. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:05

    I think it was Watts-a-matta-you?

  36. Spearhafoc, who named his cat Crafty (after Lovecraft) said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:07

    Watt?

    All I know is Who’s on first.

  37. jim said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:09

    “I am anti-non-circular-arguments because I am a conservative.”

    PS: I have reason to suspect that the “Draft Christie” wing of the GOP is about to start having some serious second thoughts.

  38. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:09

    I used to think that if Roe v. Wade were seriously threatened, it would galvanize political opposition. I still think that’s a possibility, but I’m not as sure about it as I once was. Let’s hope we never have to find out.

  39. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:15

    an openly gay African-American Republican mayor

    I had to check if this was sourced to The Onion.

  40. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:19

    gay African-American Republican

    World’s smallest club

  41. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:21

    Remember this freak-out?

  42. tigris said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:33

    Being pro-life isn’t just a moral issue for me; it’s a historical and constitutional one.

    Eleventeenth amendment. It’s in the back so youse LIBERALS might’ve missed it. Also, historically infanticide was widely practiced, abortion would have been seen as a great leap forward, certainly medically and perhaps even morally.

  43. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:35

    Remember this freak-out?

    No but thanks for bringing it to my attention. It has been quite the pleasure to read. Also, too, I occasionally forget about the wayback machine, so I am doubly in your debt.
    .

  44. Wyatt Watts III said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:38

    I arrived at these conclusions because, before I ever really thought of the abortion issue, I was a conservative.

    And after I never really thought on the abortion issue, I was still a conservative.

  45. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:38

    Sarah Palin’s masturbation video, The Undefeated, was nominated for an Academy Award for best documentary.

    We now know the precise number of documentary films that were released in the United States in 2011.

  46. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:46

    Sarah Palin’s masturbation video, The Undefeated, was nominated for an Academy Award for best documentary.

    Reason number 394 and yet another justification for my antipathy for the Oscars.
    .

  47. tigris said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:51

    The ELF documentary was supposed to be good. I wonder why Cave of Forgotten Dreams wasn’t nominated? They disqualified it in 2010 for being too limited a release then ignore it completely this year? Herzog is as nutty as a Snicker’s bar but he’s also warm, intelligent, and interesting, none of which can be truthfully said about Palin.

  48. Jennifer said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:54

    Bitter Scribe – Roe v Wade will never be overturned by the Republicans. If they were to actually accomplish that, a good majority of their base would lose all reason for voting. Don’t think they don’t know that.

    This is why, after 30 years of talking up the evils of abortion, they did nothing to roll it back when Bush was in the White House and Republicans controlled both houses of Congress. It’s because they never intended to do what they’ve been promising the god-botherers they would do.

  49. Fenwick said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:56

    Fenwick will eat his hat.

    I chose a tam o shanter. Not as tasty as a homburg. I wish I had waited for Spearhafoc’s advice.

  50. Dorothy said,

    January 24, 2012 at 18:59

    Actor212 and DAS, thanks! I had forgotten about the “required when life is threatened” part.

    “They think that the “pro-life” movement only seeks to prohibit some spector of “abortion on demand” as if women are getting abortions for kicks and giggles.”

    This whole concept of the “nothing better to do today–guess I’ll get an abortion” is really the core of most of the pro-life groups I had contact with. They honestly believed that women (usually high school girls) were waiting through 8 months of pregnancy and then deciding to get an abortion to fit into a fancy dress. They also insist that Roe v Wade allows this situation, which is how they manage to get so many “non-fanatical pro-lifers” to side with them.

    “I am a conservative, therefore I believe in self-inflicted lobotomies.”

    “I am a conservative, therefore LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

  51. actor212's Mom said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:01

    Sarah Palin’s masturbation video, The Undefeated, was nominated for an Academy Award for best documentary.

    Reason number 394 and yet another justification for my antipathy for the Oscars.

    Please excuse actor212, he mistook two similarly named movies, one about an inner city high school football team.

    Also, D-KW? You left your socks. Again.

  52. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:02

    Mom! I told you I’d drop them off along with the check I owed his mom!

  53. Steve said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:04

    “And yet I still arrived at the conclusion that every life is sacred from conception until natural death.”

    I’d bet anything that he’s one of those people who screams to high heaven about anyone being taken off life support, because surviving via life support is natural.

  54. tigris said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:09

    Please excuse actor212, he mistook two similarly named movies, one about an inner city high school football team.

    Well that’s a relief. Not that the academy cares about my opinion, I haven’t seen a film in the theater since The Phantom Menace and I’ve never watched an awards ceremony.

  55. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:09

    I’d bet anything that he’s one of those people who screams to high heaven about anyone being taken off life support, because surviving via life support is natural

    there was an open ecological niche and in one of nature’s little wonders, luxury yachts have directed 250 years of western medical practice to prolong life using heroic measures. This is just one strategy luxury yachts employ on intensive care doctors and HMO majority stockholders in order to propagate and flourish.

  56. tigris said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:12

    “And yet I still arrived at the conclusion that every life is sacred from conception until natural death.”

    I’d bet anything that he’s one of those people who screams to high heaven about anyone being taken off life support, because surviving via life support is natural.

    Also perhaps one who considers 2000 volts at 7+ amps delivered via restraining chair to be natural.

  57. jim said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:20

    “I am anti-anterior-cingulate-cortex & pro-amygdala because I am a conservative.”

  58. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:24

    I don’t know, the jewish cult has some pretty snazzy hats.

  59. Dick Cheney said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:31

    I am pro-war because I am a conservative.

    However, my enthusiastic support for the general idea of “war” should not be confused with a willingness to actually, um, you know, “enlist”, or whatever they call it.

    But when it comes to carrying a gun around and shooting innocent people in the face… hey, I’m totally into that!

  60. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:33

    I don’t know, the jewish cult has some pretty snazzy hats.

    Nothing tops Buddhist hats, tho.

  61. Rick Sanatorium said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:51

    I am pro-life because I am a conservative, too.

    But, hey, if some 20-week old fetus ever threatens my wife’s life? Well, then fuck that shit— we’ll terminate the little bastard, and take his dead body home for my kids to play with.

    ….What?

  62. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:58

    Not that the academy cares about my opinion, I haven’t seen a film in the theater since The Phantom Menace

    Perfectly understandable.

  63. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 24, 2012 at 19:58

    Please excuse actor212, he mistook two similarly named movies, one about an inner city high school football team.

    Thanks for the clarification ma’am! I guess I am back to 393 reasons.
    .

  64. Major Kong said,

    January 24, 2012 at 20:00

    “And yet I still arrived at the conclusion that every life is sacred from conception until natural death.”

    Unless they’re brown and in another country.

  65. tigris said,

    January 24, 2012 at 20:05

    Unless they’re brown and in another country.

    If someone gets bombed into a lot of tiny pieces it’s perfectly natural that they die.

  66. N__B said,

    January 24, 2012 at 20:15

    That was in another country
    And besides the wench is natives are dead

  67. Fenwick said,

    January 24, 2012 at 20:52

    the Reagan era. When Republicans stopped apologizing for corruption and embraced it as their core competency.

    Here is truth.

  68. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 20:54

    Fred Thompson’s Newt Endorsement:

    President Obama’s strategy is simple…avoid the hard realities his failed policies have created over the past three years, divide the country, pander to and organize his various constituencies, and eek out another victory.

    TERRORISM!

  69. CRA said,

    January 24, 2012 at 20:57

    “but as I recall, Jewish law (like most other historical models) didn’t consider abortion wrong until after the quickening (when you could feel the baby in the womb) which is around 5 months in.”–Dorothy

    I get why people don’t talk about the “quickening” anymore. We have more and better information about (some) pregnancies. But isn’t it the business of conservatives to insist on honoring their favorite old ideas? If we can talk Leviticus, why not babies quickening in the womb, with all the old implications? Movement conservatism’s interest in abortions seems so modern. I’m not saying folks haven’t been interested in controlling women’s reproductive capacities since time immemorial. It’s just that our conservatives never really sell their fetus-fetish as hoary Christian traditionalism. I guess they assume that it is, or don’t care either way. They couldn’t be radicals, so why stop to check.

  70. Interrobang said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:05

    I think these “conception until natural death” people should practice what they preach. “Natural death” should mean they eschew medical care, antibiotics, painkillers, and all of that stuff. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from studying history (and prehistory) is that there is absolutely nothing more natural than dying from an infection caused by rotten teeth…

  71. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:07

    Why couldn’t Terry Schiavo get a job and pay for her own goddamned medical care?

  72. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:09

    eek out another victory

    Because MICE!

  73. Smut Clyde said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:10

    eek out another victory.

    Appeal to the powerful arachnophobic voting bloc!

  74. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:11

    And cartoon elephants run in terror.

  75. Smut Clyde said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:12

    Damnit, who let Steerpike out of the Great Kitchen??

  76. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:13

    Flay, that bastard

  77. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:14

    Appeal to the powerful arachnophobic voting bloc!

    Gotta be the biggest bloc of all. Probably the only one that outsizes the dumbass bloc.

  78. Major Kong said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:15

    Ain’t that Fred Thompson feller one o’ them eelitist Hollywood actor types? They ain’t supposed to be talkin’ no politics no how.

  79. Pupienus said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:15

    I’ll try to catch up. In the meantime,

    Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt. — Genesis 38:24

    The priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell. And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen. …
    And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed. — Numbers 5:21-21, 27-28

    And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? … Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. — Numbers 31:15-17

    If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life. — Exodus 21:22-23

    And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. — Leviticus 27:6

    Okay, now to reading…

  80. Pupienus said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:23

    “I came of age during the Reagan Revolution”

    I came that close to voting for Reagan in ’80 despite having voted for Carter (first vote I ever cast) in ’76.

  81. jim said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:24

    there is absolutely nothing more natural than dying from an infection caused by rotten teeth…

    DENTISTRY IS THEFT PROOF THAT DARWIN WAS WRNOG!!!!!!!!!

  82. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:26

    DENTISTRY IS THEFT PROOF THAT DARWIN WAS WRNOG!!!!!!!!!

    Dinosaurs had teeth, therefore the Babby Jesus must have ridden them.

  83. Hogeye Grex said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:30

    “I came of age during the Reagan Revolution”

    So did I, and I hate to admit that I bought into it – for a while.

    Round about my time too. I loathed the son of a bitch right off the bat, though. The whole lot of them, really.

    Some things never change.

  84. Pupienus said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:31

    I have to say it’s a relief that for once it’s not because of the fags.

  85. CRA said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:41

    When Reagan dropped that big bag of crack cocaine on his desk and said it’d been bought across the street from the W.H., I was tripping hard on acid. (I am 40.) For me, a priceless TV moment.

  86. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:50

    1972: Paul Lynde variety show.
    1973: Roe v. Wade.

  87. 'natch said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:50

    I thought that was HWBUSH

  88. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:53

    When Reagan dropped that big bag of crack cocaine on his desk and said it’d been bought across the street from the W.H., I was tripping hard on acid. (I am 40.) For me, a priceless TV moment.

    Wait. What? That really happened?

  89. CRA said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:54

    Coulda been HW Bush, I didn’t google it and as per my story, not the best witness

  90. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 21:56

    I miss Paul Lynde.

  91. Another Kiwi said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:01

    Just having a quick trawl through the Reagan Goodtimes in the Morning of America, and found this gem.
    February 2, 1987

    Reagan testifies to the Tower Board for a second time. His testimony is inconsistent and confused. The Board pointed out Reagan hadn’t known about August shipment of anti-tank missiles, but Reagan had said he DID know. When asked for an explanation, Reagan picked up a briefing memo he had been provided and read aloud: “If the question comes up at the Tower Board meeting, you might want to say that you were surprised.”
    Source: PBS Timeline
    It should have been in proper script notion, obviously.

  92. Pryme said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:03

    It should have been in proper script notion, obviously.

    His best acting by far, IMHO.

  93. Nymstradamus said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:05

    Damn the “Ahems!” This is too good to be true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQIMDTjHB6A

    Wow! Its only saving grace is that it’s too insipid to be compared with the Horst Wessel Lied.

  94. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:07

    I was in high school during Ronnie Raygun’s time. Among the influential pot-smoking, acid-dropping upper-middle-class skateboarder demographic I was part of, Ronnie was universally hated.

    Ok, maybe we weren’t that influential…

  95. CRA said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:08

    “Wait. What? That really happened?”–TruculentandUnreliable

    Well, as noted, it was not Reagan:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdffy8gl7rw

  96. Another Kiwi said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:09

    I miss Paul Lynde. OMG!! I knew which one was Paul Stanley! Crikey that’s some body hair he’s got going on there. Also the sequinned roadsign to schlongtown!!??

  97. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:11

    I was a Dead Kennedys fan in my youth, and remain one since. Influential or not, we all hated that POS when he was in office and when he was governor of CA.

  98. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:15

    I was a Dead Kennedys fan in my youth, and remain one since.

    I still have “Plastic Surgery Disasters” on vinyl from back then. Good stuff.

    I always think of this song when there’s some big fire in California.

  99. Mitt Rmoney said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:22

    Because corporations are people, my friend, I still arrived at the conclusion that every corporate life is sacred from conception until Bain Capital can help it to its, um, well-deserved-but-still-unfortunate, um, you know, death.”

  100. The Late Strom Thurmond said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:28

    Hey, what crawled inside your vadge?

  101. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:30

    I still have “Plastic Surgery Disasters” on vinyl from back then. Good stuff.

    I always think of this song when there’s some big fire in California.

    Without even clicking…Forest Fire.

    Little diddy, about St. Ronnie.

    One of the best songs ever written. In my authoritative opinion.

  102. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:31

    Hey, what crawled inside your vadge?

    UPPITY N***ERS TRYING TO STEAL MY PRECIOUS FLOWER!

  103. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:35

    Dog bite on my leg
    Not right, sposed to beg.

  104. Wall Street said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:49

    I am pro-sixteen-trillion-dollar-US-Fed-bank-bailouts because I am a conservative, too.

    The free market system— it’s GRRRreat!

  105. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:49

    I was a Dead Kennedys fan in my youth, and remain one since.

    I still get a chill listening to Holiday in Cambodia

  106. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:52

    And I still get a kick that the obscenity trial over Penis Landscape ended in a hung jury.

  107. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:55

    DKs yeah, some lovely ballads there, weren’t there? I’ve always been partial to “Let’s Lynch the Landlord” and “Nazi Punks Fuck Off!” (The latter opus, incidentally, being directed at musicians, fans and posers in the Punk movement who incorporated swastikas and other Nazi imagery into their jewelry and clothing. They felt this was giving Punk a bad name.)

  108. jim said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:55

    I still have “Plastic Surgery Disasters” on vinyl from back then.

    I still have my “Frankenchrist” LP … & no turntable, LOL!

  109. Nymstradamus said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:55

    And I still get a kick that the obscenity trial over Penis Landscape ended in a hung jury.

    I see Anyone can see what you did there.

  110. The Tool said,

    January 24, 2012 at 22:59

    Here we go again with the punk rock.

  111. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:01

    I think the only vinyl I have now that I’m itching to play is a Les Crane album. That was a Negativland-style mindfuck.

  112. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:02

    Circa 1981, proto-wingnuts used to say to me that Ronnie reminded them of their grandfathers. My stock response was “Really? Because my grandfathers weren’t racist lying morons.”

    I was born during the Reagan administration, my grandfathers were racist lying morons (comes with being working-class Irishmen in Long Island), and if I had heard “well, Reagan reminds me of my grandfather”, I would take that as a big gigantic warning signal. I give my grandfathers a pass because they’re actually my family. A guy who just reminds me of them is an asshole.

  113. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:06

    Voting for someone because he reminds you of a relation from two generations back seems like a less than brilliant strategy. In fact voting for someone that old seems pretty goddamn dumb.

    Still not as dumb as voting for anyone with a southern accent.

  114. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:10

    Still not as dumb as voting for anyone with a southern accent.

    Or a guy you’d want to have a beer with.

    Seriously, most of the guys I’d want to have a beer with have the IQ of a peanut and the resume to match.

  115. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:16

    I’m old enough to remember when Reagan was viewed as a ridiculous extremist who was far too wacko to trust with power. His canonization only serves as proof of how really extreme the right in this country has become.

  116. Steerpike said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:26

    I’m OK with the the “wanna have a beer with” test, this year, at least. Ask yourself: is there anyone who would really prefer crackin’ open a cold one with Newt? (and no, I don’t mean Callista) or Frothy? or Paul? As far as Rmoney? I’m sure his religion would frown on him ever thinking about beer, and if it didn’t, would you really think anyone would find sharing one with him to be an enjoyable experience? Really? On the other hand, I could totes see kickin’ back with Barry and downing a sixer over the course of an hour or so, and I bet it would be a gas!

  117. bbkf said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:30

    I think I was in 9th grade when st. ronnie got shot…my memory of that incident is of a ss guy dropping the f bomb on network telly…didn’t like reagan even while being politically unaware…

    blah…i m waiting for hubbkf to get through with an mri…long day…visit with neuro, emg and nerve testing…after this, blood work…I m getting a little alarmed at some of the initial observations but am trying hard to not freak out…

  118. bbkf said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:32

    Steerpike said,
    January 24, 2012 at 23:26

    u nailed it…

  119. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:34

    and it stirred in me some thoughts about abortion in America

    They were wiggling around in his gut and he just wanted them out Out OUT!

  120. Thread Bear said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:39

    I’m OK with the the “wanna have a beer with” test, this year, at least.

    Before the 2000 election my brother hit me with the old “W is just sombody you could sit down and have beer with” line. My response was, “yeah, sure, as long as you don’t mind getting left with the tab.” Boy, I really wish that hadn’t turned out to be so true!

  121. DAS said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:43

    Reagan testifies to the Tower Board for a second time. His testimony is inconsistent and confused. The Board pointed out Reagan hadn’t known about August shipment of anti-tank missiles, but Reagan had said he DID know. When asked for an explanation, Reagan picked up a briefing memo he had been provided and read aloud: “If the question comes up at the Tower Board meeting, you might want to say that you were surprised.”

    My mom concluded from Reagan’s behavior at these hearings that Reagan had Alzheimer’s’.

  122. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:47

    My mom concluded from Reagan’s behavior at these hearings that Reagan had Alzheimer’s’.

    Or wasn’t above faking it to get a pass.

  123. actor212 said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:49

    On the other hand, I could totes see kickin’ back with Barry and downing a sixer over the course of an hour or so, and I bet it would be a gas!

    Yea, but it wouldn’t be the reason you’d vote for him.

  124. jim said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:50

    Wowie Zowie! Teh Corner posted my response to Hasner … I tried linkin’ that shit, but it just wound up going back to the original post.

    NRO, Y U NO HAVE GOOD LINK-FU FOR MY SPOOR?

  125. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:51

    Before the 2000 election my brother hit me with the old “W is just sombody you could sit down and have beer with” line. My response was, “yeah, sure, as long as you don’t mind getting left with the tab.” Boy, I really wish that hadn’t turned out to be so true!

    I’d rather have my front teeth pulled than sit down for anything with that smirky fucker.

  126. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:56

    Come to think of it, I can’t think of a single president I would like to sit down and have a beer with. I think they’re all power mad assholes. We’ve been awfully lucky to have gotten any progressive initiative out of pretty much any of these fuckheads.

  127. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:57

    bbkf; Hope everything turns out ok!

  128. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:58

    Come to think of it, I can’t think of a single president I would like to sit down and have a beer with.

    Really? I don’t think I’d like him, but I’ll bet LBJ would supply some positively hair-raising anecdotes.

  129. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:58

    My mom concluded from Reagan’s behavior at these hearings that Reagan had Alzheimer’s’.

    When he announced he had Alzheimer’s, my mom said, “I KNEW it!” I don’t recall her floating that theory when he was in office, but I had other interests at the time besides politics, like mud pies and drawing spiders.

  130. tsam said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:59

    I’d rather have my front teeth pulled than sit down for anything with that smirky fucker.

    WRONG! You would sit on his head to SHART ON IT!

    I would. But that’s it. Nothing else.

  131. DAS said,

    January 24, 2012 at 23:59

    Actor212 and Steerpike — I never quite did get the “who would you rather have a beer with argument”: I can imagine that GW Bush might be a fun guy to have a beer with and watch as hijinks ensue (but wait a minute — wasn’t GW Bush supposed to be on sobriety?), but I figure it equally likely that he’d be a mean drunk. OTOH, I would rather imagine that, loosened up with a few beers, John Kerry might be a likable sort of feller. At the very least, I’d imagine he’d buy beers for us both, and he’d be more likely to buy good stuff than GW Bush.

    Meanwhile, I think both Henry Louis Gates Jr and James Crowley can testify to the fact that anyone would want to have a beer with Obama.

  132. jim said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:01

    The vital “who would you rather break in a brand new bong with” question needs more attention.

  133. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:01

    I had other interests at the time besides politics, like mud pies and drawing spiders.

    Like this?

  134. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:02

    i m waiting for hubbkf to get through with an mri…long day…visit with neuro, emg and nerve testing…after this, blood work…I m getting a little alarmed at some of the initial observations but am trying hard to not freak out…

    bbfk: Are these routine tests? (Doesn’t sound like typical check-up stuff to me.) I hope the tests are not a result of an unsettling event.) Mainly, I hope that things are alright and the tests all have good results..

  135. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:03

    I had other interests at the time besides politics, like mud pies and drawing spiders.

    Recipes & pictures plz.

  136. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:04

    Really? I don’t think I’d like him, but I’ll bet LBJ would supply some positively hair-raising anecdotes.

    I know, but after about 3 beers, I know for a fact I’d say something ’58,000 YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WAS IT WORTH TO NOT BE THE FIRST AMERICAN PRESIDENT TO LOSE A WAR? GO FUCK YOURSELF’

    We’d fight.

  137. CRA said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:04

    “Seriously, most of the guys I’d want to have a beer with have the IQ of a peanut and the resume to match.”

    Somehow, this makes you an elitist, homosexual, or both. I will take it another way, so to speak.

    The havin’ a beer test can get a little open-ended. For me, it doesn’t mean I’d like to rhetorically eviscerate Santorum or Newt over beers. And if that wasn’t the point of the encounter, what then? To talk amiably with these people would require a good deal of discretion and ass-kissing on my part. Does anybody really think Newt has leisure-conversations with liberals that don’t involve the latter holding their tongues? I don’t really know, but I’ll wager it doesn’t happen.

  138. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:04

    Like this?

    Gah! No! That’s sick.

  139. Exford legs said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:05

    hope hubb is ok bbkf

  140. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:06

    I would have sat down for a drink with Teddy Roosevelt. He slaughtered every animal that moved, but still recognized the need for National parks, he was rich as hell but was a first rate trust buster. He fought corruption face to face in the NYPD. I think he may have been his era’s Most Interesting Man in the World. He probably would not have drank Dos Equis though.

  141. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:06

    Does anybody really think Newt has leisure-conversations with liberals that don’t involve the latter holding their tongues?

    Pretty sure that Newt does not have leisure-conversations with anyone unless he gets to do all the talking.

  142. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:07

    bbkf, I hope everything turns out okay.

  143. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:11

    My thoughts are with you, bbkf.

  144. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:12

    Pretty sure that Newt does not have leisure-conversations with anyone unless he gets to do all the talking.

    I bet the Koch brothers or some other asshole billionaire command his complete undivided attention.

  145. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:13

    Those “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials are fun and interesting. But every time I see them I wonder if there would ever be a commensurate commercial starring a woman. Where her sex appeal were not the focus. Like would they ever show a woman doing all these cool things and having all these cool adventures? And a hot man in every port?

    These questions answer themselves, don’t they?

  146. CRA said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:14

    For Teddy, I would muster as much restraint as required to have the beers conversation to its fullest possible extent.

    Newt (as Smut Clyde says) would dominate, but not in any of the ways we prefer of our dominant men. It’s like he’s telegraphing the whole show for a submissive than doesn’t yet know any cues.

  147. CRA said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:17

    Vacuumslayer–

    As a side issue, isn’t the Most Interesting Man in the World at least plausibly attractive? He’s a handsome old rogue, no? Not the point of the commercials, of course.

  148. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:17

    Comrade Fenwick declares to the world that 1980 was his fourth Presidential election. .

    When first eligible to vote in 1968, Comrade Fenwick boldly voted for Eldridge Cleaver of the Peace and Freedom Party.

    In the 1980 election of St. Ronnie, Comrade Fenwick voted for John Anderson; the prized Anderson campaign button is now attached to Comrade Fenwick’s combat webgear.

  149. DAS said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:17

    The vital “who would you rather break in a brand new bong with” question needs more attention. – Jim

    That would be Al Gore.

    Stoned voter: “dude — I just realized something totally cool man: the web is like … a giant spider web oozing electrons all over the world that keep us glued together …”

    Stoned Al Gore: “you know, it’s actually true — I actually did invent the internet. the whole idea came to me when I toked from my first bong”

  150. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:18

    Obviously everyone who is smart has seen this but it’s still awesome.

  151. DAS said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:19

    bbfk — hope all turns out to be well.

  152. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:20

    CRA, yes he’s attractive. Would a woman that age ever get a gig like that?

  153. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:24

    These questions answer themselves, don’t they?

    “To ask the question is to know the answer.” – Confucious or Buddha or Yogi Berra or somebody.

  154. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:26

    Would a woman that age ever get a gig like that?

    Maybe Hellen Mirren. Maybe.

  155. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:27

    She’s the first person I thought of. ;)

  156. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:28

    This was a fine movie. Many, uh, interesting women.

  157. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:30

    Here is the text of Jim’s articulate comment at NRO:

    Saying that a political viewpoint that is in part defined by opposition to legal & available abortion is the reason for that opposition looks a lot like circular reasoning to me. Also, other than a few fringe groups, there is no “pro-abortion” movement, either in America or elsewhere, & characterizing the pro-choice position with that loaded term is dubious at best.

    As a Republican, I suspect that your belief that “every life is sacred from conception until natural death” doesn’t preclude favoring the death penalty for murder. Nor is it apt to prevent making allowances for “collateral damage” in the course of military actions against other nations. In other words, you believe in your heart that all life is sacred – unless it isn’t.

    The real result of outlawing abortion in America is well-known from the years before Roe v. Wade when it was a crime, as well as the current imposition of such a ban in other countries. That result is many dead & maimed girls & women – & virtually zero reduction in the number of successful abortions. I find it more than a little curious that conservatives keep demanding cuts to the education funding that is one proven antidote to higher rates of abortion (better educated girls tend to grow up to have smaller families & use contraception more often, precluding the need for abortions). The same can be said for Sex Ed., or for fully subsidizing vasectomies & tubal ligations … which makes me think that for the GOP, the whole “sanctity of life” meme is more of a political weapon than an actual ethical belief per se: as a hot-button topic, it continues to garner electoral support from Evangelicals year after year – & I’m still waiting to see the American Right float a serious Federal test-case to contest the legality of abortion.

    The only logical argument that can justify outlawing abortion isn’t that a fetus or embryo is a human life – it’s that females are non-humans, thus making their potential mutilation or demise a moot point. Every other argument inevitably winds up colliding with the inconvenient truth of all those girls & women killed or crippled by back-alley & bathtub abortions.

  158. A Journal of the Plague Year said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:36

    When I was an undergraduate, a guy told me, with his face all a-glow, that he had voted for Reagon because he was “warm.”

    No other reason. Just that. My mind was so boggled with sudden insight about the emotional aridity of his home life that I was left speechless for several seconds.

    After this, no one’s political reasoning ever surprised me.

  159. CRA said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:37

    VS– of course I have to agree with Major Kong. It’d be one of a very few women that’d get the gig. I don’t necessarily blame consumers, but the fantasy-makers. Give me a good commercial length-fantasy involving an appealing sixty-year-old woman and I think I’m fine. That’d get left on the cutting-room floor, though. Not precisely for my sake– there’s just an assumption that “ad concept +young hottie = win” even where an older woman might make more sense (Most Interesting Woman in the World).

  160. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:37

    My mom concluded from Reagan’s behavior at these hearings that Reagan had Alzheimer’s’.

    Or wasn’t above faking it to get a pass.

    Was he ever that capable an actor?

  161. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:37

    Maybe Hellen Mirren. Maybe.

    She has appeared in so many movies lately, the local video shop has considered arranging their DVDs into “Starring Helen Mirren” and “Not Starring Helen Mirren” areas.
    OK, they rejected the idea about 2 seconds after I suggested it, but they did consider it.

  162. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:39

    the local video shop

    These still exist?
    .

  163. CRA said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:40

    Edit: commercial-length, not length-fantasy. Length-fantasy is not what I intended to write about.

  164. animus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:41

    What about Charlotte Rampling? Joanna Lumley?

  165. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:42

    What about Charlotte Rampling? Joanna Lumley?

    Sela Ward? Too young?
    .

  166. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:43

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Wonder Bread/Miracle Whip ticket: http://www.startribune.com/opinion/otherviews/137964093.html

  167. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:45

    Susan Sarandon is still pretty smokin’ hot.

  168. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:50

    Hell, Julie Christie is still lovely.

  169. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:54

    Ask yourself: is there anyone who would really prefer crackin’ open a cold one with Newt? (and no, I don’t mean Callista)

    Steerpike evokes chuckles in Charm City. (As well as Smut Clyde for the Great Kitchen reference.)

    Also, too, and moreover, I posted Jim’s comment. Classic Fenwick nymfail.

    I don’t think I’m ever gonna ketchup the thread…

  170. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:56

    Guerilla Voters Cadre 18

    The vital “who would you rather break in a brand new bong with” question needs more attention.

    Stephen Colbert. Solidarity !

  171. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:58

    the Wonder Bread/Miracle Whip ticket

    The Corner is currently flogging Newt.

  172. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 0:59

    The Corner is currently flogging Newt.

    Hmm, I guess that can be read as both love AND abuse. How Republican.

  173. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:03

    Ewwwwwwwww. He deserves to be flogged in a very non-sexytime way.

  174. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:13

    Shit. Another nymfail. I’m going to drown my sorrows in tomato juice spiked with Worcestshire and pepper.

  175. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:29

    Ask yourself: is there anyone who would really prefer crackin’ open a cold one with Newt? (and no, I don’t mean Callista)

    At this point, none of the remaining GOP field seems adult enough to share a beer with anyone. In fact, most of them remind me of the spoiled rotten kids at the Chocolate Factory with Obama doing the Willy Wonka “Stop. Don’t. Come Back.” bit as they rush off to do some more dangerous stupidity.

    I’ll draw the Wonka allegory further:

    Newt Gingrich is Augustus Gloop (obviously).
    Mitt Romney is Veruca Salt.
    Rick Santorum reminds me of Mike TeaVee.
    Ron Paul is, well, he’s kinda like Grandpa Joe, if Grandpa Joe was the sort of character who would clutch onto the Golden Ticket furiously because, well, it’s GOLD dammit!!!

    *Michele Bachmann would have been Violet Beauregarde if she only lasted longer in the campaign.

    *Naturally all the Oompa Loompa roles are assigned to John Boehner.

  176. jim said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:30

    Those “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials are fun and interesting. But every time I see them I wonder if there would ever be a commensurate commercial starring a woman.

    “I don’t ALWAYS ovulate in the wilderness… but when I do, I use my menses to attract predators so that I can kill & skin them with my bare hands. Then I relax with a tall cold mug of Blart Extra-Lite™!”

  177. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:37

    I would have a beer with Warren Harding or Franklin Pierce, both of whom were, I believe, genial drunks. Shitty presidents, but genial drunks.

  178. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:38

    Angelica Huston for the Most Interesting Woman commercials. I have no idea what she’s like in real life, but she does a great job of projecting great and hidden depths.

  179. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:39

    And I need to use the word “great” more often.

  180. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:44

    Okay, let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the capital-gains tax rate is too low relative to the regular income-tax rate.

    Yes, let’s DO say that. Better yet, let’s say it and mean it. Because it’s, you know, true.

  181. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:45

    Also, I rate for Angelica. And Sela. And definitely Susan.

    How about Diane Keaton? Too precious?

  182. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:46

    How about Diane Keaton? Too precious?

    Too something. Or maybe not something enough.

    Better yet, let’s say it and mean it.

    You so crazy.

  183. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:47

    Pam Grier. Most DEFINITELY the most interesting woman in the world. Top 10 sexiest too.

  184. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:49

    Working = work.

    Capitals =/= work.

    Who should get the lower tax rate? Of course it’s the people who don’t work for their money. (If and only if they’re old money whites)

  185. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:50

    Y’all, I’m watching “Toddlers and Tiaras.” And it’s making me want to Professor Farnsworth all over the place. But more than that it occurs to me how much these pageants remind me of Republican debates (and any event where conservatives gather.) They’re smarmy and disgusting and all about appearances. And the more the contestants–who are innocent in this, unlike Newtie & Co.–amp up the smarm and artifice, the better response they get.

    Plus, I can’t help but think there’s significant overlap among wingnuts and pageant parents.

    Disgusting.

  186. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:50

    Sela Ward, yes
    Susan Sarandon, meh

    Catherine Deneuve: ROWR! Emphatic yes.

    Brigitte Bardot: ROWR

  187. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:51

    Oh, I could go for some Pam. Definitely.

  188. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:51

    I’m waiting for someone to say “Mitt earned it” to my face. I want to ask two questions: do you believe that Mitt earned the ten mill he made this year while not working? And do you believe a CEO paid ten mill per year is working 200 times as hard as a factory worked making 50K?

  189. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:52

    The best part about Pam is that she doesn’t stick to the [cookie] sheet.

  190. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:53

    And just to stick it to the repigs, let’s go with Jane Fonda. She was super duper sexy back in the day. Hell even in the 80s when she was making those workout videos.

  191. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:54

    The best part about Pam is that she doesn’t stick to the [cookie] sheet.

    She will when I’m through with her.

  192. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:54

    Brigitte Bardot: ROWR

    Sorry, Le Pen fandom is a deal breaker for me.

  193. Whale Chowder said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:56

    My mom concluded from Reagan’s behavior at these hearings that Reagan had Alzheimer’s’.

    I always asked the question: How could anybody tell?

    The 1980 election would have been my first and as I recall, Carter had done all he could to look like an out-of-touch jackass (helped in no small part by the media). I still recognized that Reagan was fucking dangerous. As I put it at the time, I voted for Tweedle-Dumb over Tweedle-Dumber.

    In retrospect, Carter looks better and better and Reagan was a fucking disaster. This opinon landed me in no small number of heated arguments with my dear old pop.

  194. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:57

    Sorry, Le Pen fandom is a deal breaker for me.

    Guh?

  195. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:58

    Guh?

    Yeah, BB went full wingnut a while back.

  196. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:59

    Guh?

    Wish I could tell you otherwise:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2003/may/15/france.davidhearst

  197. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 1:59

    Oh yeah…isn’t Bardot some crazy right-winger? Didn’t I read that somewheres?

  198. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:00

    Yeah, BB went full wingnut a while back.

    Oh shit. NOMINATION WITHDRAWN. WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.

  199. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:03

    At least Minnesota got it right in the next election, yes? One state. Harsh, man.

  200. Cerberus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:09

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work. Luckily the bosses and coworkers took it pretty well. Luckily our museums are also run by the liberal fascist agenda.

  201. Whale Chowder said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:12

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work.

    Holy shit. I’m glad it worked out all right; that could have been a very prickly* situation.

    *STOP THAT.

  202. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:17

    There are times when Charlie Pierce drains from me whatever vestigial optimism I had managed to retain in my life:

    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/state-of-the-union-2012-6644203

  203. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:19

    The fact is, Obama is completely like Hitler.

    Class war, straight out of the Alinskyite playbook:

    http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/01/24/state-union-2012/

  204. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:19

    I too am glad that your inadvertent coming out worked out well, Cerberus.

  205. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:21

    The fact is, Obama is completely like Hitler.

    Much like Hitler, Obama based his strategies on the writings of Jewish authors.

  206. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:28

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work. Luckily the bosses and coworkers took it pretty well. Luckily our museums are also run by the liberal fascist agenda.

    I’m glad it went well too. I always wonder what that must be like, but don’t really think I’d like to find out.

  207. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:29

    Smoothies will soon be in short supply: http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/01/i-am-not-the-reason-god-made-oklahoma-and-i-resent-your-slanderous-accusations

  208. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:29

    Fake Gary is Fake.

    The real Gary couldn’t post a link if it would save his miserable little life.

  209. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:33

    I would never move to Oklahomey becuase I can’t take my Sharia Law with me.

  210. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:43

    Smoothies will soon be in short supply

    OMG it’s like Michelle Obama taking away all our juicy cheeseburgers!

  211. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:51

    I would never move to Oklahomey becuase I can’t take my Sharia Law with me.

    I spent 3 long weeks in Altus Oklahoma for KC-135 instructor school. I think Oklahoma exists to make Texas seem normal.

  212. steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:53

    I can’t believe no one has brought up Glenn Close.

  213. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:55

    I can’t believe no one has brought up Glenn Close.

    She won’t be ignored!

  214. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:56

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work.

    Oh dear. At least it sounds like your workplace is fairly open minded.

    I’m usually scared to come out as a Democrat where I work.

  215. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:07

    Surely Isabella Rossellini earns no end of Most-interesting credits for the Green Porno project.

  216. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:15

    How could I forget Isabella, pretty much the coolest person on the planet?

  217. steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:27

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work.

    I’m much more comfortable now that I have come out as “post”

  218. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:36

    Glenn Close is an outstanding actress. She is not hot.

  219. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:38

    I’m usually scared to come out as a Democrat where I work.

    I’m lucky. Here in Spoklahoma, I have the great fortune of working in an office with 3 other liberals. We pretty much argue about nothing.

  220. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:38

    Forgot to say:

    I struggle to convey the astronomical odds of this situation

  221. Whale Chowder from his phone said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:44

    I didn’t think there were three loony libs in spokane.

  222. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:53

    “Spokane” sounds like a drug used by bicycles after their percentage of human has become too high, due to the Mollycule Theory and the process of atomic interchange with the rider.

  223. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:55

    All this “coming out” talk makes me very happy to work in a public university in a blue town in a blue state. Although my office is uncomfortably close to the College of Business building.

  224. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:56

    It’s “Spoke Anne” which sounds much less drug-ish than “Spoke Aine”.

    Still bicycley though.

  225. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 3:57

    Pam Grier.

    Grace Jones.

  226. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:00

    Clyde: I might rethink my Grace Jones suggestion in the wake of your Rossellini one, though– both Green Porno and Seduce Me were grand fun.

  227. steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:05

    Glenn Close is an outstanding actress. She is not hot.

    The point of the exercise, IIRC, was to find a “most interesting woman in the world”–not the hawtest.

  228. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:05

    Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 2:17 (kill)

    There are times when Charlie Pierce drains from me whatever vestigial optimism I had managed to retain in my life:

    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/state-of-the-union-2012-6644203

    Dammit. My reserves of optimism were already at dangerously low levels too.

    Although this turn of phrase:

    the most retrograde, brick-stupid, poo-flinging monkeyhouse of a House of Representatives in the history of the Republic

    Is a thing of beauty.

  229. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:18

    Augh. Glenn Close. You guys are pretty much mentioning every actress I adore. Get out of my fucking head.

  230. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:19

    Oh, and Grace Jones is a suggestion of such beauty, I scarcely know where to begin in praising it.

    Is it just me or do we REALLY NEED a “Most Interesting Woman in the World” commercial now?

  231. Just sayin' said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:26

    I find pride and comfort in Judaism’s historical defense of life.

    Y’mean like Psalm 137:9?

    You know, “Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”… that one….

  232. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:28

    Hot is a component of interesting.

  233. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:33

    I didn’t think there were three loony libs in spokane.

    I personally know about 12 of them. That may be all of them.

    It is Spoke Anne.

    Spokane is actually the name of the native tribe from whom the river valley was stolen. Their chief was named Spokann Garry. We boast a creek, West of town, called Hangman Creek. When Col George Wright showed up here (who curiously has a street named after him that skirts a college wtf) he forced the Spokanes to surrender, and then hung about 27 natives and slaughtered an unknown and shockingly high number of horses.

    Cool story, bro.

  234. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:37

    The fact is, Obama is the worst dictator of the century so far. He has taken us so far to socialest we may never regan our freedom in USA without bllod shed.

  235. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:38

    It’s a a component; it’s not THE component. I mean, that’s not the rule for men.

  236. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:42

    I’m lucky. Here in Spoklahoma, I have the great fortune of working in an office with 3 other liberals. We pretty much argue about nothing.

    I’ll end up flying with some Captain who goes off on a rant about Obama or something he heard on Rush or Fox News that day. Mind you it’s likely that I’ve known the person for approximately 10 minutes at this point.

    I’ll usually say something like “What made you think that I agreed with you, or that I wanted to have this conversation in the first place?”

  237. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:44

    Still bicycley though.

    ‘ I did not notice that. You do not mean to say that these bicycles take drugs?’
    ‘They were never seen doing it, nobody ever caught them with a noseful of blow. All I know is that the drug disappears.’
    ‘ What!’
    ‘ It is not the first time I have noticed white powder at the front wheels of some of these gentlemen.’

  238. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:45

    Why does nobody engage me this way???!!!! I want to show off my mouth kung fu!

  239. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:46

    I like Spokane. I used to get that trip a lot when I was on the A300. The 757 doesn’t go there, so I haven’t seen the place in a couple years.

  240. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:49

    Why does nobody engage me this way?

    OK. Fight’s on. Who says the most interesting woman in the world has to be an actress? Or an entertainer of any kind?

  241. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:53

    Come to think of it, I can’t think of a single president I would like to sit down and have a beer with.

    our founding father gdubs would be my choice…he had a large posterior and liked to shake it on the dance floor…

  242. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:54

    What? That’s not Wingnutty at all. It’s a perfectly reasonable question. You’re going to have to try harder to be an asshole.

  243. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:55

    Please tell me you all just caught that shot of Cantor grudgingly clapping to Obama’s admonishment to extend the “middle class tax cut” and mumbling curses under his breath. Such a little dick.

  244. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:55

    Oh, sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to be wingnutty. I’ll schedule the lobotomy for tomorrow and get back to you.

  245. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:55

    I vant to suck your bllod

  246. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:57

    FYI – In the Air Force we would say “Fight’s On” as a signal to begin an air-to-air engagement (in training). To stop the exercise we would say “Knock it off”.

  247. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:58

    It’s a a component; it’s not THE component. I mean, that’s not the rule for men.

    Not the rule for women either. BB is OUT. Megan Fox–very beautiful girl, but about as interesting as those curious spots on my wee wee.

  248. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:59

    our founding father gdubs would be my choice…he had a large posterior and liked to shake it on the dance floor…

    Slave owner. Sorry. No can do.

  249. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 4:59

    our founding father gdubs would be my choice

    He wasn’t President, but I bet Ben Franklin would have been fun to have a beer with.

  250. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:00

    You’re going to have to try harder to be an asshole.

    Need me to step in, Major? I don’t really have to try very hard.

  251. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:00

    Who says the most interesting woman in the world has to be an actress?

    THIS CRAZY PERSON.

  252. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:02

    I mean, that’s not the rule for men.

    Also, men are hairy and smelly and don’t wear pretty perfume (generally speaking). They are therefore not hot. Except Matt Damon.

  253. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:05

    He wasn’t President, but I bet Ben Franklin would have been fun to have a beer with.

    Oh god yes–think of all the French women you could, um, entertain being that playa’s wingman. Mmmmmhm. We’d just have to kick that buzzkill Adams with that giant stick up his butt to the curb. We could have his wife come to the party though. She was the brains of that operation.

  254. steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:06

    Teh most interesting man in the world looks Foster Brooks, but a female version will have to be good looking. Got it.

  255. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:07

    Who says the most interesting woman in the world has to be an actress?

    Meg Whitman does not qualify.

  256. jim said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:12

    The real scandal of this year’s SOTU: why is Obama so good at pronouncing the names of Middle Eastern cities?

    Unless National Review raises this vital question, it will be obvious that they are secretly in the pocket of Big Soros … why, they’ve already given a place in their comment forum to known anti-free-enterprise abortion-loving secular humanists!

  257. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:12

    the Wonder Bread/Miracle Whip ticket

    I really would have appreciated a heads up on that one, s.c…seeing those two smirkatrons in the same photo was almost too much…

  258. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:15

    Meg Whitman does not qualify.</em.

    How about Meg White?

  259. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:16

    How about closing some tags?

  260. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:17

    Teh most interesting man in the world looks Foster Brooks, but a female version will have to be good looking. Got it.

    Maybe chicks think he’s good looking. Ladies?

  261. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:26

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work. Luckily the bosses and coworkers took it pretty well. Luckily our museums are also run by the liberal fascist agenda.

    this made me chuckle in that while watching movies with the daughter she kept pointing out whenever the music got all dramatic and such which is a new development for her…so i imagine did the background music in cerbs museum yesterday…

    i find it awesome that you you are made to feel like a person at your place of work cerbs…may u work there long and prosper…

  262. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:33

    Slave owner. Sorry. No can do.

    oh goddammit! i didn’t think of that…

    also, too…janet mcteer gets my vote for the miwitw…

    and such…thanks all for the well wishes…hubbkf has had fasciculations in his calves for almost a year now which have become progressively worse…the twitching is pretty much 24/7 now and getting to be painful…best case scenario: a pinched nerve…worse case scenario: als…tests today showed muscular changes…which has me concerned…should know something in a couple of days…

  263. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:37

    Shorter Bitch Daniels, whose haircut went out of style in 1963:

    IF YOU VOTE FOR OBAMA WE WILL ALL DIE.

  264. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:38

    I’m voting for a pinched nerve or alcohol withdrawals.

  265. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:40

    Re: scenarios. Good luck.

  266. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:41

    bbfk, please keep up us apprised.

    And I rate for Meg White.

  267. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:44

    Re: scenarios. Good luck.

    Likewise.

  268. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:49

    thanks…as we were in sioux falls today I thought about u major…have you ever checked out falls park? hubbkf got some nice shots of semi-frozen waterfalls there today…also, you can get a trim at a place called ‘the hair force’…get it?!?!

  269. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 5:52

    Shorter Bitch Daniels, whose haircut went out of style in 1963:

    IF YOU VOTE FOR OBAMA WE WILL ALL DIE.

    Also: George W. Bush? Who’s that, some celebrity from Hollyweird? In closing, Reagan.

  270. CRA said,

    January 25, 2012 at 6:00

    “Please tell me you all just caught that shot of Cantor grudgingly clapping …”

    I visited a wingnutty site recently and was surprised to see some woman refer to Eric Cantor as hot. Maybe my hate-colored glasses prevent me from seeing it. (I am a straight male but still have the occasional opinion.) He’s one of the newfangled conservative “Young Guns,” haha. They shouldn’t invite the comparison. I could use “Young Guns” reruns to get my wife fired up; pictures of Cantor and Paul Ryan and whomever standing around in suits, not so much.

  271. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 6:09

    have you ever checked out falls park?

    Just about every time I go there. We stay at the Holiday Inn (8th & Phillips) so it’s a short walk to the park.

  272. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 6:17

    have you ever checked out falls park?

    oddly enough, today was our first time there…but then again, I have recently discovered that I am apparently like the only person in minnesota who has never been to duluth…

  273. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 6:23

    semi-frozen waterfalls

    I’m picturing a fridge-door cube dispenser.

  274. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 6:23

    today was our first time there

    The Phillips Ave Diner is a pretty good place to eat. Wiley’s Tavern is a pretty good place to drink. Minerva’s is good if you want something fancier.

  275. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2012 at 6:31

    picturing a fridge-door cube dispenser.

    yes, it was every bit as lovely…

    good to know…it’s been years and years since i’ve spent any amount of time there…my elder sister lives closel by, but she is into nascar and named her dog after the dood on American choppers, so you can imagine the places she has taken me…

  276. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 7:04

    semi-frozen waterfalls

    Don’t go chasing them, ya hear?

  277. Oregon Beer Snob's phancy phone said,

    January 25, 2012 at 7:28

    TIL that there is a show on Animal Planet called Hillbilly Handfishin’

    I did not need to know this.

  278. Oregon Beer Snob's phancy phone said,

    January 25, 2012 at 7:29

    And I’ll add my crossed fingers to the pool for you bbkf.

  279. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 7:30

    http://www.bbfc.co.uk/adultfeed.xml

    Adult ratings from the BBFC
    The latest adult videos passed by the British Board of Film Classification

    MONSTER COCK SHE-MALES passed R18
    Thursday, January 19, 2012 8:38 AM

    The BBFC gave the English language video MONSTER COCK SHE-MALES a rating of R18 on Thu, 19 Jan. Consumer advice is not supplied for R18 titles. The video is directed by Nacho Vidal. The cast includes Belladonna.

    God government jobs are AWESOME.

  280. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 25, 2012 at 7:53

    bbkf, hope everything turns out well.

    Never been to Duloot? It’s nice in the summer but big event weekends can fill the town with tourists. OTOH, Bayfront Blues Fest is a blast.

    OBS, hillbillies and assorted rednecks are all over the tubes now. I am waiting for the rez based reality show – maybe Cookin’ With Commods!

  281. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 7:53

    Who says the most interesting woman in the world has to be an actress? Or an entertainer of any kind?

    Well, the SAG card helps get ya the audition (for the commercial), I think.
    .

  282. Fitting In Very Nicely, Thank You! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 8:22

    I’m pro-life because I was conservative first.

    What a coincidence!

    I’m pro-mandatory gay abortion because I was a Sadlynaught first!

    I have to admit, I’d never even heard of mandatory gay abortion until I discovered this website.

    But this is such a cool group, that I immediately said to myself, “What the hey! What’s the point of belonging to a cool group if you don’t let them do your thinking for you!”

    So you see, Adam, we’re not so different, you and me!

  283. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 8:34

    For Tsam.

    A Cheetah Chrome performance in my hometown: with local players.
    I think I began diddleing with the Bass a couple months prior to this performance.
    I was living with two of the guys in the video at the time (lead singer and second guitarist, who had been nominated for a Grammy two years previous…Jeff beck won the award that year), and later played in bands with aforementioned Grammy nominee, drummer and Bass player. Cheetah crashed at our place while he was in town and they held rehearsals in our basement.

    Ultimately I realized that my previous musical experience (better than decent french horn player) might translate to stringed and amplified music.

    I may have dropped this one before but the following is my first appearance in a music video:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgTxgua00yQ
    .

  284. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 25, 2012 at 8:59

    Diddleing with a bass? Kinky!

  285. Thread Bear said,

    January 25, 2012 at 9:31

    I met the most interesting woman in the world. About 30 years ago, I was working at a motel. We had a guest by the name of Maya Ward. She was in her 80s or maybe even 90s. She had been an actress for a while, she was in All Quiet on the Western Front and she auditioned for the part of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. But beyond that, she was a pilot and flew across at least three continents back when there were no commercial airlines and airplanes were somewhat less reliable. She went on African safaris and ocean voyages to remote and interesting destinations. She never spoke of it directly, but reading between the lines I got the idea that she was quite the mans lady (if that’s the female equivilant of ladies man).

  286. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 9:34

    PENIS

    Okay, then: PENIS

    PENIS?

  287. The Entire House Freshman Republican Class of 1994 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 10:13

    …the most retrograde, brick-stupid, poo-flinging monkeyhouse of a House of Representatives in the history of the Republic…

    Hey!

  288. tensor said,

    January 25, 2012 at 10:18

    Major “Cojones” Kong:

    I’ll end up flying with some Captain who goes off on a rant about Obama or something he heard on Rush or Fox News that day.

    You share the flight deck of a narrow-body with a loudmouthed Limp-bot* for hours at a time, successfully resisting the urge for controlled flight into terrain? Obviously, your DFC is longing for the company of the civilian counterpart, which it richly deserves.

    *This phrase brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

  289. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 11:02

    Those “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials are fun and interesting. But every time I see them I wonder if there would ever be a commensurate commercial starring a woman. Where her sex appeal were not the focus. Like would they ever show a woman doing all these cool things and having all these cool adventures? And a hot man in every port?

    These questions answer themselves, don’t they?

    Fuck. Yes, VS.

    I knew there was a reason those commercials annoyed me, even though they are so charming. (And I actually like Dos Equis, or liked before my gluten intolerance forced me to take up cider.)

  290. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 11:08

    CRA, yes he’s attractive. Would a woman that age ever get a gig like that?

    Candace Bergen? Meryl Streep? Halle Berry? Betty White?

    Oops, I thought Berry was over 50. Phylicia Rashad?

  291. tensor said,

    January 25, 2012 at 11:14

    Like would they ever show a woman doing all these cool things and having all these cool adventures? And a hot man in every port?

    By definition, The Most Interesting Woman In The World would not be using her Awesome Powers of Interest to pimp nasty beer.

    A Helen Mirren / Glenn Close / Choose Your Own Digby — er, Dignified Lady here / would indeed have a “hot man in every port”, but each guy would, um, satisfy a different aspect of her personality. One would be a poet, one would be a sugar daddy, one would be a hawt 19-year-old — and she’d move with ease between them. A lady who stoops to conquer, as it were.

    (Excuse me whilst I retire to my bunk..)

  292. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 11:27

    I accidentally ended up coming out as trans yesterday at work. Luckily the bosses and coworkers took it pretty well.

    {{{hugs}}}

    I had to come out as trans, too, when the AFA rolled into our town a few years back to try to make it illegal for people like me to use public restrooms. Well, they had to lie to put that on the ballot and by the time the vote came around they had been found out… oops. Still, it was satisfying going over the legal notice in the paper line by line and having the lightbulb turn on over a coworkers head. (“You mean they LIED to me? They shouldn’t going around saying stuff like that. That’s not right! I’m going to tell everyone!”) So effing sweet.

    One ironic turn in the campaign was when after these clowns had been lying for weeks that letting trannies pee would somehow lead to male pedophiles sneaking into women’s restrooms to abduct little girls, a male mall employee was arrested for having wired the women’s bathroom with secret cameras (so he could look up sorostitute’s skirts without paying for the privilege or even buying a drink–which is theft and illegal). Oops, so like the icky-tranny-bladder-ban neither encourages nor prevents the commission of already illegal acts by pre-verts? Huh, how about that. Er, why are we protesting on this street corner again?

  293. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 11:55

    A Helen Mirren / Glenn Close / Choose Your Own Digby — er, Dignified Lady here / would indeed have a “hot man in every port”, but each guy would, um, satisfy a different aspect of her personality. One would be a poet, one would be a sugar daddy, one would be a hawt 19-year-old — and she’d move with ease between them. A lady who stoops to conquer, as it were.

    Win.

  294. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2012 at 12:17

    I finally caught up. Fun thread to read.

    Fitting in Very Nicely fits into Sadlyville nicely. Join me on the boat’s after-deck for a mint julep?

    Provider: You’re a handsome dude, Dude!

    Cerb: Delighted to hear that you have understanding colleagues at the museum. May your employment be long, prosperous, and happy.

    not a gator: Solidarity from all Sadlies who have a bladder and a conscience. Which is the whole population in Sadlyville.

    bbfk: Keep us posted on hubbfk, okay? Whatever is going on, I sure hope the docs have something to ease his discomfort and pain.

    I wanted to comment on a bunch of stuff, especially MIWITH. In lieu of the long comment (still in my head), here’s a suggestion no one has put forward yet: Tina Turner

  295. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 12:25

    But every time I see them I wonder if there would ever be a commensurate commercial starring a woman. Where her sex appeal were not the focus. Like would they ever show a woman doing all these cool things and having all these cool adventures? And a hot man in every port?

    Clearly you don’t watch much OWN or Oxygen or Bravo….

  296. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2012 at 12:28

    I don’t understand why everyone gets so worked up about Roe v. Wade. I mean, c’mon! We’re only talkin’ about caviar or getting your socks wet….

    I’ll be here all week. Try the veal. And tip the waitresses generously.

  297. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 12:29

    hubbkf has had fasciculations in his calves for almost a year now which have become progressively worse…the twitching is pretty much 24/7 now and getting to be painful

    Could just be a result of aging. Most men lose muscle tone and flexibility in their legs, particularly the calves and hamstrings, as they get to a certain age. I had to give up running because I kept popping my calf muscle while training. The sudden impacts would fire off….well, something. The doc wasn’t too specific except to say there really wasn’t much to do about it except take up cycling and stay hydrated as much as possible.

    What does he do to ingest electrolytes?

  298. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 12:31

    Who says the most interesting woman in the world has to be an actress? Or an entertainer of any kind?

    My thumbs go up for her

    So would many other body parts and functions.

  299. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 12:53

    Actor, I must say, Hillary Clinton is looking pretty dapper these days. (It was a shock to me as well.)

    She absolutely KILLZ as Secretary of State (never thought I’d say that–h8d her as a presidential candidate–Obambi all the way and FU MoDo) and she rocks the most awesome suits.

    Is it utter heresy to say that I’m more into Hillz’ suits than Michelle’s? Because it’s out there now. I said it. Given her satorial past I’m going to assume she ponied up for a really brilliant style consultant. Good call.

  300. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 14:30

    Thanks to Smut Clyde for the reference to Cleon who appears to have been a wingnut in good standing in ancient Greece, (though I would like to get Tuchman on the phone for her appraisal of the situation).

    Opposition to Pericles
    Cleon first came to notice as an opponent of Pericles in the late 430s through his opposition to Pericles’ strategy of refusing battle against the Peloponnesian League invaders in 431 BC. As a result, he found himself acting in concert with the Athenian aristocratic parties, who also had no liking for Pericles. During 430 BC, after the unsuccessful expedition by Pericles to the Peloponnesus, and when the city was devastated by the plague, Cleon headed the opposition to Pericles’ rule. At this time, Pericles was accused by Cleon of maladministration of public money, with the result that Pericles was found guilty and removed from office (see Grote’s History of Greece, abridged ed., 1907, p. 406, note 1). However, Pericles’ setback was temporary and he was soon reinstated.

    Pericles…I wonder what that old time (one might suggest primordial hippy) did to piss of the Athenian aristocracy what with his profligate ways with the public purse.

    Pericles turned the Delian League into an Athenian empire and led his countrymen during the first two years of the Peloponnesian War.

    No, not this, though it might be stated that no one could accuse the dude of being a chickenhawk…

    Pericles promoted the arts and literature; this was a chief reason Athens holds the reputation of being the educational and cultural centre of the ancient Greek world. He started an ambitious project that generated most of the surviving structures on the Acropolis (including the Parthenon). This project beautified the city, exhibited its glory, and gave work to the people.[1] Furthermore, Pericles fostered Athenian democracy to such an extent that critics call him a populist.[2][3]

    I can see now why such a dude might rankle a wingnut of any era. Seems like the dude created a template for “The New Deal” some 2400 years (and change) before FDR.

    His family’s nobility and wealth allowed him to fully pursue his inclination toward education. He learned music from the masters of the time (Damon or Pythocleides could have been his teacher)[10][11] and he is considered to have been the first politician to attribute great importance to philosophy.[9]

    And here we discover another problem for the garden variety wingnut. Like FDR, and many wealthy liberals to follow, Pericles was a “class traitor” of the first order.

    The Parthenon….

    Wingnuttery, seems to have carved a niche as the group that is nearly always wrong about everything. Whether 8000 years ago or currently.

    /adding to the list of things to do if I ever finish the Time Machine™
    .

  301. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 15:12

    You share the flight deck of a narrow-body with a loudmouthed Limp-bot* for hours at a time, successfully resisting the urge for controlled flight into terrain?

    It was lot worse when I was on the 727, because then it would often end up being two against one.

    Most of them know enough to let it go or I’ll end up doing a “slam! click!” when we get to the hotel. Nothing says I’m required to associate with them during the layover.

  302. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 16:33

    GODDAMMIT FUCK YOU WORDPRESS. FUCK YOU TOO, DENNIS. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

    Will return with my comment after I go find a redneck to junkpunch.

  303. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 17:24

    Actor, I must say, Hillary Clinton is looking pretty dapper these days.

    She is dressing much more nattily, to be sure, but there’s something about her complexion. She seems shinier and not in a good way. I wonder if she’s really battling a weight issue now.

  304. Steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 17:29

    Re: Pericles et al: I mentioned Steven Pressfield’s Tides Of War the other day, and I would once again highly, highly recommend this for anyone interested in this period. He manages to bring the “golden” age of Athens and the Peloponnesian War to life as if were happening today. You can absolutely recognize exactly the same kind of short-sightedness, jingoism, stubborn obstructionism for its own sake and general stupidity we deal with today in the old-guard establishment of both Athens and Sparta. Great Stuff!

  305. Raenelle said,

    January 25, 2012 at 17:41

    Pictured. That’s Steve from Eastbound and Down, right?

  306. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:03

    Here’s my attempt to balance that Scott Walker video: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2012/01/24/walking-dead-growing-paints/

  307. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:19

    It’s not all that hard to think of actresses who could play a most interesting woman in the world. OK, it’s hard to imagine Dos Equis filming that commercial, but casting an actress, not that hard.
    Who would be the real life women that role would be based on? Here’s a few I can think of:

    Here is my list of real life MIWITW
    Beryl Markham – bush pilot and horse trainer also the first woman to fly solo across the atlantic
    Frido Kahlo – famous artist
    Sally Ride – First American woman Astronaut, also author and physics professor
    my great aunt Major Beulah – Army nurse in WWII & Korea who rose to be one of the highest ranking women in the army during that period

  308. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:26

    Marie Curie.

  309. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:44

    Anybody else see Michelle Obama last night?

    Wow, what a big, fat ass she has. She really needs to lose that “fourth year fiftee (or is it first term fifty?)

  310. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:46

    Harriet Tubman.

    Queen Elizabeth the first.
    ,

  311. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:48

    Anybody else see Michelle Obama last night?

    Wow, what a big, fat ass she has. She really needs to lose that “fourth year fiftee (or is it first term fifty?)

    Chris Christie? Is that you?

  312. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:48

    She sure likes her some BBQ ribs that’s for sure.

  313. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:50

    I also like BBQ ribs and I am a big fat cow.

  314. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:50

    Queen Elizabeth the first.

    An accomplished woman by any standard, but I have a bias against aristocracy.

  315. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:50

    She sure likes her some BBQ ribs that’s for sure.

    Oh, it’s only Laura Ingraham. Nevermind.

  316. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:51

    I guess BO likes more cushion for the pushin’.

  317. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:53

    She sure likes her some BBQ ribs that’s for sure.

    But! But! I thought she was an out-of-touch elitist who only eats brie and caviar?

  318. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:54

    I haz a sad as I realize that it has been a little over 13 months since the Poor Man went on hiatus.

    /Head bowed, hat in hand
    /pours a bit of beer on the ground
    .

  319. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:55

    But! But! I thought she was an out-of-touch elitist who only eats brie and caviar?

    “To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them”

  320. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:57

    Anybody else see Michelle Obama last night?

    Nymstradamous, from what hive of wretched scum and villainy did you pluck that adorable quote?
    .

  321. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 18:58

    “To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them”

    I heart Eric Blair!
    .

  322. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:02

    I heart Eric Blair!

    That quote just neatly sums up wingnut punditry, doesn’t it?

  323. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:10

    She really needs to lose that “fourth year fiftee (or is it first term fifty?)

    If you’re going to be a racist troll, you should learn to do it up right.

    It’s firs term fittee

  324. Whale Chowder said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:11

    Hey bbkf, let me add my best wishes to hubbkf.

    And anyone who thinks Michelle Obama is fat is demonstrating all of the intelligence that has led them to support the Republican party.

    Also, Amelia Earhart, posthumously.

  325. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:13

    Who would be the real life women that role would be based on?

    Actually, the troll raises perhaps the perfect woman: Michelle Obama.

  326. Steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:17

    She is both a ghetto ho and an elitist.

    She can lecture children to get more exercise and eat more healthy foods, while gorging herself on fried chicken and ribs.

    She is a traitor to her race, and an intellectual snob, while raising her daughters to be welfare queens and baby mamas

    She is…

    The most interestint woman in the world

  327. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:19

    Steerpike FTW!

  328. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:40

    That quote just neatly sums up wingnut punditry, doesn’t it?

    Yup!

    The man was a genius though I hoped beyond hope that I would never get to watch 1984 play out in real time.
    .

  329. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:48

    To be accurate, the Eric Blair quote applies only to the smartest of the wingnut set. Some of the less sharper tools in the shed don’t even need to be “conscious of complete truthfulness” at all.

  330. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:55

    Mitten’s new campaign slogan: Believe in Switzerland

    http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal/2012_01/whats_with_romneys_swiss_bank034990.php#comments

  331. Texas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 19:57

    The reason we don’t slide into the gulf is Oklahoma sucks.

  332. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:00

    This is gonna bug me:

    Nancy Pelosi told CNN last night that Newt Gingrich would definitely not become president, whether he was the GOP nominee or not.

    “He’s not going to be president of the United States,” Pelosi said. “That’s not going to happen. Let me just make my prediction and stand by it. It isn’t going to happen.”

    Asked why she was so certain by CNN host John King, Pelosi said, “There’s something I know,” but did not elaborate on what she was referring to.

    What could it be?

  333. Are We Losing Our Constitutional Republic? said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:06

    While pundits at opposite ends of the political spectrum seldom agree, many seem to have reached accord over recent Obama administration deviations from constitutional principles. The conclusion on both sides: the United States is moving precariously away from its origins as a constitutional republic and toward repressive government control of many aspects of life.

    These changes, sparked perhaps by 9/11, are nonetheless uncharacteristic of a free society. In a free state, access to information is unrestricted, freedom of speech by individuals and the press is upheld, dissent is lawful, and the opinions and attitudes of citizens toward government and law enforcement do not spur investigations. Further, surveillance and investigations are limited to planned or actual criminal activity, due process is honored, and unreasonable search and seizure by government agents is unacceptable absent probable cause.
    Yet, since Obama assumed the presidency in 2009, he has sought and/or instituted policies that consolidate power at the federal level, restrict the availability of information, extend the boundaries of protected speech, expand monitoring of American society and increase law enforcement’s role. Just as policies that place limitations on government oversight advance the cause of freedom, the opposite is true: policies that expand the role of government stifle liberty and invite repression. A sampling of some proposed and/or established policies of the Obama administration indicates a troubling move toward a more restrictive, autocratic government.

    Executive Order Empowering Interpol

    On December 16, 2009, Obama officially altered President Reagan’s 1983 Executive Order 12425 (EO 12425) to give Interpol, the policing arm of the International Criminal Court (ICC), carte blanche to operate with impunity on American soil. This was in contravention of restrictions put in place by Reagan to hold the international police force accountable for its actions, not unlike American law enforcement agencies, and to uphold the supremacy of the Constitution as the highest form of law in the United States.

    Instead, Obama placed Interpol, whose past presidents have included members of the Nazi SS, beyond the reach of law enforcement, the FBI, and Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests. By signing EO 12425, Obama made all Interpol property and assets immune from search, discovery, and confiscation, affording no recourse or protection for American citizens from Interpol abuse. Thus, with Interpol above the U.S. Constitution and American law enforcement authority, U.S. citizens on American soil could potentially be secretly arrested. At a time when Islamic terrorist detainees are entitled to due process, Americans arrested by Interpol could conceivably be denied access to documents sought during the discovery process.

    Curiously, the United States is not an ICC partner. In 2002, to safeguard U.S. armed forces in Afghanistan and Iraq from politically manufactured “war crimes” charges and actions, President George W. Bush removed the U.S. signature to the 1998 Rome Treaty, which created the ICC, and overturned President Clinton’s signing in 2000. Still, Interpol, serving as a liaison among its 190 member states, operates within the U.S. Department of Justice through the auspices of local police departments.
    DHS Report on “Right-Wing Extremism”

    In 2009, Obama’s Department of Homeland Security issued the report “Right-wing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment.” Previously, the DHS focused on specific groups engaged in violent acts. This report, however, was not based on actions or incidents perpetrated by any groups; instead, it identified the “economic downturn” as a potential catalyst for future right-wing extremist action.

    Absent any actual evidence or statistics, the report cited the prospect of a “resurgence in rightwing extremist recruitment and radicalization.” This assertion was based on the expression of dismay by conservative groups about the government’s departure from traditional American values, the curtailment of Second-Amendment rights, and the loss of U.S. status as a global power, as well as conservative opposition to publicly funded abortions, equal status for homosexual marriages, citizenship and government assistance for illegal immigrants, and other issues.

    In light of recent activities by the radical left-wing Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement, the focus of the DHS report seems ironically misplaced. The participation in OWS by radical Muslim groups, the Nazi Party, the Communist Party, the Ku Klux Klan, and a collection of left-wing extremist organizations created a level of anarchy that led to violence, sexual assaults, pilfering, spread of disease, child abuse, and other dangerous and depraved behavior. The White House, Democratic politicians like House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, the unions, and Hollywood celebrities have all embraced this licentious movement while tarring and feathering the orderly, focused, and respectful TEA (Taxed Enough Already) Party activists who operate within the confines of the law to lobby for lower taxes and smaller government. With the OWS movement record of close to 6,000 arrests, public defecations — including on police cars and in banks — the terrorizing of businesses and motorists, attacks on police, public masturbation, illegal drug use, the pimping of children as well as the use of children as human shields, and other depravities, the DHS effort seems like a politically motivated, misguided witch hunt.

    Access to Information

    In October, the Department of Justice (DOJ) proposed revised FOIA rules to allow federal agencies to lie about the existence of documents to those seeking certain sensitive records. This revision, withdrawn due to public outcry, would have permitted government agencies to deviate from the current policy under which they must cite a relevant reason or exemption from releasing documents, thus providing an arguable legal basis for the denied party to pursue in court. Had the proposed FOIA revision gone through and the very existence of information been denied, the possibility of a lawsuit would have been removed as a potential avenue for obtaining the requested data.

    Former federal Justice Department attorney J. Christian Adams exposes more about the radical agenda of the Obama Justice Department in his recent book Injustice. Adams writes that the DOJ logs clearly indicate a liberal bias in responses to FOIA requests. Right-leaning FOIA requestors receive no reply or endure lengthy wait times — from four to six months — while left-leaning FOIA requestors typically receive information within three days.

    Meanwhile, federal agencies, who work closely with the Muslim Brotherhood, have been sanitizing counterterrorism training programs for federal and local law enforcement to exclude references to Islamic terrorism and to marginalize and defame recognized experts on Islamic doctrine. All official materials that expose the truth about jihad have been censored in favor of generic information on “violent extremism.” Telling the truth about Islamic ideology and accurately examining the contents of Islamic doctrine (even as explained by esteemed Muslim clerics) is now redefined as Islamophobic or hate speech. These revised programs hide the truth about jihad in Islam and liken an entrenched 1,400-year-old supremacist ideology to the battle against gangs and drugs.

    Further, the U.S. Army recently published a “cultural literacy” handbook for soldiers. This new publication whitewashes jihad, calling it the “communal military defense of Islam and Muslims when they are threatened or under attack.” Jihad is also explained as “an everyday spiritual and moral struggle to live a life submitted to G-d” or “the attempt to spread Islam by education and example.” This shamefully irresponsible misrepresentation of Islamic doctrine condemns American soldiers serving in Muslim countries to ignorance with potentially deadly consequences. It represents yet another way the U.S. government under Obama is controlling information content and access.
    Monitoring Speech
    The Obama administration has given the Department of Homeland Security the power to monitor the social media activities and online networking platforms of journalists and to retain the data for up to five years. In other words, the federal government is setting a dangerous precedent with serious First Amendment implications by using taxpayer dollars in the surveillance of those who write news for the public. Any reporter from anchor to blogger can be scrutinized under the current regulations. Since 2010, the DHS has monitored popular websites, including news, social media, blogs, forums, and message boards. Two recently proposed bills — the Stop Online Privacy Act and the Protect IP Act — could potentially give the DOJ broad new powers to police the internet.

    UNHRC – Istanbul Process

    Last month, the United States approved adoption of the U.N. Human Rights Commission (UNHRC)’s Resolution 16/18, an initiative of the Organization of Islamic Cooperation (OIC), a confederacy of 57 Islamic states. The OIC has long endeavored to limit speech that defames religion, and Islam in particular. This resolution, initially proposed to stem alleged but virtually nonexistent discrimination of Muslims post-9/11, places limitations on critical speech, which is protected by the U.S. Constitution. Resolution 16/18 includes measures to criminalize “incitement to imminent violence based on religion or belief” but doesn’t specify who decides what constitutes “imminent violence” and whose violence is punishable. It also fails to address the persecution of Jews and Christians in Muslim countries and the prevention of the horrific Muslim killing sprees that followed the publication of the Mohammed cartoons and the Koran-burnings, both legally protected activities under the First Amendment.

    As part of his entreaty for the passage of the Resolution 16/18, Ekmeleddin Ihsanoglu, the Turkish Muslim head of the OIC, issued a veiled threat implying that the failure to act against religious “hate speech” would result in acts of Islamic terrorism. It appears that the overriding purpose of the resolution is to limit and criminalize criticism of Islam. The resolution also would place the blame for terrorist attacks on its victims for their non-compliance with Islamic doctrine or sharia, which prohibits criticism of Islam under threat of death. The UNHRC resolution contains a measure to counter religious profiling which could hamper American law enforcement efforts to apprehend Islamic terrorists. It is indeed alarming that the Obama administration would entertain a policy that clearly places limits on free speech and imposes de facto sharia.
    In all the examples detailed above, Obama is signaling a significant departure from our founding constitutional principles. If this represents a slippery slope toward an increasingly authoritarian regime in America, only time will tell. But we would be wise to head the words of Thomas Jefferson, our nation’s third president and the author of the Declaration of Independence: “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” Americans would be remiss to fail in vigilance and ignore these alarming trends.

  334. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:07

    Texas, that’s what happens when you steal land from brown people and give it to the “wrong” kind of white people.

    Okay, j/k, probably has more to do with the oil industry collapsing and the people left behind have embraced the evangelical death cult.

    But still! Okies!

    My mother and uncle are from there–proof enuff.

  335. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:13

    Are We Losing Our Constitutional Republic?

    Clearly the Constitution doesn’t allow three-fifths of a person to hold the office of President.

  336. Steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:19

    I bet our scroll-troll also forwards emails he gets about what a weak-ass pussy Obama is, too. It’s Wednesday, so today it’s “Obama is HITLERZILLA!!!” Tomorrow, it will be “Obama is apologizing to the world, we need a strong leader!!”

  337. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:24

    It must be campaign season. The copypasta trolls are returning from San Juan Capistrano.

  338. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:27

    Excellent video on the whole “Tax-the-Rich” mentality:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY8LKII_MNA&feature=player_embedded

    Try to answer the questions the video poses honestly, especially the ones at the end.

  339. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:29

    Try to answer the questions the video poses honestly, especially the ones at the end.

    Address my link, libs!

  340. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:37

    Address my link, libs!

    Umm…Relevant?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95mmGO3sleE&feature=related

  341. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:41

    OBS, hillbillies and assorted rednecks are all over the tubes now. I am waiting for the rez based reality show – maybe Cookin’ With Commods!

    You should send in some script ideas. I flipped to Animal Planet last night because Planet Earth was on, but ended up changing after a while ’cause the commercials seemed so much more inane than usual. Yeah, I’ll just get it from Netflix, thanks.

    It was probably just me. I’m in a mood. I’m listening to the Melvins album Bullhead

  342. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:41

    Hahahaha, a troll posting as Anonymous.

    -10 style points

  343. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:46

    Yeah, rilly.

    You have to make up a ludicrous nym, like “Giant Eagle In Your Face,” or some shit.
    .

  344. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:47

    Are We Losing Our Constitutional Republic?

    To quote the great urban philosopher Chris Rock: If you’re losing, then who’s winning?

  345. N__B said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:47

    Did anyone click on the troll’s UTube? Is it a goatseroll?

  346. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:48

    Marie Curie.
    Francie Kelman.

  347. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:49

    Apropos of nothing, Sadlies, I was just thinking about how wingnuts always lecture us that social welfare programs do more harm than good (because JEBUS (because fapfapfap (because SHUTUPTHATSWHY))), so it is therefore the moral and right thing to defund them. Of course it’s a justification (tortured) for selfishness and blablabla.

    What confuses me is that I always thought I was supporting social programs, prison rehabilitation, jobs programs, etc out of rational self interest. Don’t I benefit from less crime and fewer criminals? A more lively economy? (I certainly benefited the last time we had a boom that wasn’t just a bubble.) A more educated and healthier populace? (Cooler people to hang out with and possibly date, amirite?) I’m not seeing a downside here, people. This is pure selfishness and not out of any altruistic motive. If I thought helping myself first would help myself first, I probably would. (That’s why I’ve rented for years rather than commit financial hari-kiri with a house, like a good citizen.)

    Sure it gives me warm fuzzies to make people’s lives better in some vague way but when we’re talking about large chunks of money it’s basically all about what’s good for me. Speaking of which, not sure I see the angle in keeping the oldz alive but after paying into SS for some time now I wish to keep the system going to be able to receive my own share of that sweet, sweet cash flow.

  348. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:51

    @Smut Clyde

    Good call. Kelman was badass.

  349. Giant Eagle In Your Face said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:52

    Ask not for whom the eagle poops–it poops on you.

  350. The Tool said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:53

    You mean “Giant Eagle in Your Face” is still available?

    I’m all over that one.

  351. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:56

    You mean “Giant Eagle in Your Face” is still available?

    It was actually the nym used by a trool over at Eschaton for a little while. A very funny one, I have to say.
    .

  352. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:57

    Good call. Kelman was still is badass.

  353. Average is Over said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:58

    [Posting this just to show y'all that even a leftie media elite Thomas Friedman agrees that the days of getting paid $25/hour for turning a wrench on an assembly line are over for good no matter what the government does]

    by Thomas L. Friedman

    In an essay, entitled “Making It in America,” in the latest issue of The Atlantic, the author Adam Davidson relates a joke from cotton country about just how much a modern textile mill has been automated: The average mill has only two employees today, “a man and a dog. The man is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the man away from the machines.”

    OP-ED COLUMNIST
    Average Is Over
    By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
    Published: January 24, 2012
    RECOMMEND
    TWITTER
    LINKEDIN
    COMMENTS (443)
    SIGN IN TO E-MAIL
    PRINT
    REPRINTS
    SHARE

    In an essay, entitled “Making It in America,” in the latest issue of The Atlantic, the author Adam Davidson relates a joke from cotton country about just how much a modern textile mill has been automated: The average mill has only two employees today, “a man and a dog. The man is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the man away from the machines.”

    Josh Haner/The New York Times
    Thomas L. Friedman
    Go to Columnist Page »
    Related News

    The iEconomy: How the U.S. Lost Out on iPhone Work (January 22, 2012)
    Related in Opinion

    David Brooks: Free-Market Socialism (January 24, 2012)
    Readers’ Comments
    Readers shared their thoughts on this article.
    Read All Comments (443) »
    Davidson’s article is one of a number of pieces that have recently appeared making the point that the reason we have such stubbornly high unemployment and sagging middle-class incomes today is largely because of the big drop in demand because of the Great Recession, but it is also because of the quantum advances in both globalization and the information technology revolution, which are more rapidly than ever replacing labor with machines or foreign workers.

    In the past, workers with average skills, doing an average job, could earn an average lifestyle. But, today, average is officially over. Being average just won’t earn you what it used to. It can’t when so many more employers have so much more access to so much more above average cheap foreign labor, cheap robotics, cheap software, cheap automation and cheap genius. Therefore, everyone needs to find their extra — their unique value contribution that makes them stand out in whatever is their field of employment. Average is over.

    Yes, new technology has been eating jobs forever, and always will. As they say, if horses could have voted, there never would have been cars. But there’s been an acceleration. As Davidson notes, “In the 10 years ending in 2009, [U.S.] factories shed workers so fast that they erased almost all the gains of the previous 70 years; roughly one out of every three manufacturing jobs — about 6 million in total — disappeared.”

    And you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Last April, Annie Lowrey of Slate wrote about a start-up called “E la Carte” that is out to shrink the need for waiters and waitresses: The company “has produced a kind of souped-up iPad that lets you order and pay right at your table. The brainchild of a bunch of M.I.T. engineers, the nifty invention, known as the Presto, might be found at a restaurant near you soon. … You select what you want to eat and add items to a cart. Depending on the restaurant’s preferences, the console could show you nutritional information, ingredients lists and photographs. You can make special requests, like ‘dressing on the side’ or ‘quintuple bacon.’ When you’re done, the order zings over to the kitchen, and the Presto tells you how long it will take for your items to come out. … Bored with your companions? Play games on the machine. When you’re through with your meal, you pay on the console, splitting the bill item by item if you wish and paying however you want. And you can have your receipt e-mailed to you. … Each console goes for $100 per month. If a restaurant serves meals eight hours a day, seven days a week, it works out to 42 cents per hour per table — making the Presto cheaper than even the very cheapest waiter.”

    What the iPad won’t do in an above average way a Chinese worker will. Consider this paragraph from Sunday’s terrific article in The Times by Charles Duhigg and Keith Bradsher about why Apple does so much of its manufacturing in China: “Apple had redesigned the iPhone’s screen at the last minute, forcing an assembly-line overhaul. New screens began arriving at the [Chinese] plant near midnight. A foreman immediately roused 8,000 workers inside the company’s dormitories, according to the executive. Each employee was given a biscuit and a cup of tea, guided to a workstation and within half an hour started a 12-hour shift fitting glass screens into beveled frames. Within 96 hours, the plant was producing over 10,000 iPhones a day. ‘The speed and flexibility is breathtaking,’ the executive said. ‘There’s no American plant that can match that.’ ”

    And automation is not just coming to manufacturing, explains Curtis Carlson, the chief executive of SRI International, a Silicon Valley idea lab that invented the Apple iPhone program known as Siri, the digital personal assistant. “Siri is the beginning of a huge transformation in how we interact with banks, insurance companies, retail stores, health care providers, information retrieval services and product services.”

    There will always be change — new jobs, new products, new services. But the one thing we know for sure is that with each advance in globalization and the I.T. revolution, the best jobs will require workers to have more and better education to make themselves above average. Here are the latest unemployment rates from the Bureau of Labor Statistics for Americans over 25 years old: those with less than a high school degree, 13.8 percent; those with a high school degree and no college, 8.7 percent; those with some college or associate degree, 7.7 percent; and those with bachelor’s degree or higher, 4.1 percent.

    In a world where average is officially over, there are many things we need to do to buttress employment, but nothing would be more important than passing some kind of G.I. Bill for the 21st century that ensures that every American has access to post-high school education.

  354. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2012 at 20:58

    It’s all good fun until somebody gets pooped on by an Eagle.

  355. Spread Eagle In Your Face said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:02

    Fair use, Schmair use. I’ll just paste the whole damn thing here because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!

  356. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:03

    The copypasta trolls are returning from San Juan Capistrano.

    He certainly swallows.

  357. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:04

    leftie media elite Thomas Friedman

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  358. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:04

    Friedman is a liberal??

    Maybe by Warren Jeffs’ standards.

  359. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:04

    Well, well. It’s the “even a leftie like Thomas Friedman agrees with me” gambit. That’s a moldy oldy if I ever saw one.

  360. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:05

    leftie media elite Thomas Friedman

    Actually had me until I read that part. Nice try, though.

  361. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:06

    Well, well. It’s the “even a leftie like Thomas Friedman agrees with me” gambit. That’s a moldy oldy if I ever saw one.

    Now, now…let’s just wait six months to see how things go, then we’ll have an idea of what we’re working with.

  362. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:06

    Actor, do you remember the days of “Even the liberal Nation”?

  363. Steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:07

    I have to say, I kinda like the “iWaiter” idea. Can’t wait to see them down at Appleby’s

  364. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:08

    …even a leftie media elite Thomas Friedman…

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha (momentary pause for coughing and choking) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ahhhhhh (wipes tears from eyes)

    That is some of the funniest shit I have seen all year. If Trolly had any clue the utter lack of respect we libs have for that moron Friedman, he might realize how useless it is to bring up anything the dude has to say as any form of Gotcha Libs, Skreeeeeee!!11!!

    Moron trolls have to get their mor-on.
    .

  365. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:08

    iHaircut. I have the patents.
    .

  366. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:11

    I see that I was not the only one to have that reaction. Awesome for at least 3 minutes everyone was pointing at the troll and laughing their asses off.

    Brilliant!
    .

  367. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:11

    Actor, do you remember the days of “Even the liberal Nation”?

    You mean back when Hitch hadn’t been tossed out on his fascist ass?

  368. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:11

    How about robot traffic cops, like in Star Trek?

    IDENTIFY YOURSELF, CITIZEN

    Er, Tater Salad?

    CHECKING. . . . CHECKING . . .

  369. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:12

    If Trolly had any clue

    You could have stopped right there.

  370. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:13

    If average is over, what will become of the NYFT editorial staff? Doomed to pushing a shopping cart full of aluminum cans to the recycler? Wait…they have a lot of favors banked with the scuzzy Wall Streeters for whom they fabricate all this bullshit.

    Just goes to show you…Even a moron like Friedman would land on his feet if the NYT readers ever gathered the intelligence to demand that he be chained to a Volkswagon full of Goldman Sachs executives and thrown in the East River.

  371. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:13

    You could have stopped right there.

    You are absolutely correct, but I was too busy laughing to care about brevity.
    .

  372. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:13

    iHaircut. I have the patents.

    Between Apple and the show iCarly, I didn’t believe that was still possible.

  373. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:14

    Hitchens got fired by the Nation? I remember when Sullivan lost his job there. And I remember Hitchens writing some screed about renouncing leftyism and how much it sucks (and he hates it, and he’s tired of it, and it sucks, and he can’t stand it when you squeeeeeze) before resigning from the Village Voice.

    Do tell.

  374. tsam said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:14

    @ provider:

    That was the first time I had seen that video. That only one I saw was the live show footage. Excellent song. Love the bass line.

    You’re a fucking bronze god! \m/ >_< \m/

  375. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:16

    Even a moron like Friedman would land on his feet if the NYT readers ever gathered the intelligence to demand that he be chained to a Volkswagon full of Goldman Sachs executives and thrown in the East River.

    After being tried by a jury on annoyed taxi drivers

  376. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:16

    Even a moron like Friedman would land on his feet if the NYT readers ever gathered the intelligence to demand that he be chained to a Volkswagon full of Goldman Sachs executives and thrown in the East River.

    Imma let you finish, but Krauthammer is the worst Wall Street apologist of all time. Of. All. Time.

  377. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:17

    or a jury of annoyed taxi drivers. Take your pick.

  378. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:18

    Between Apple and the show iCarly, I didn’t believe that was still possible.

    Well, of course it’s not called that, and the Flowbee people have some tough-ass attorneys… and the Teledildonics people said it couldn’t be done, but…
    .

  379. 'natch said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:18

    iHaircut. I have the patents.

    Lets hope they don’t infringe on the Flobee

  380. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:19

    …NYT readers ever gathered the intelligence to demand that he be chained to a Volkswagon full of Goldman Sachs executives and thrown in the East River.

    I like the fashion in which you cut a Jib Tsam.

    I hope that a few Banksters would be left over so that they could be chained to the Manhattan side base of the Brooklyn bridge with water up to their necks at low tide.
    ..

  381. Another Kiwi said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:21

    WHAT!!! Crazy arse liberal Tom Friedman said that Fap = Fap, again!! I must cancel my subscription to “Baby-killers Monthly” and resign from the Marxists ‘R’ Us mailing list!!
    Fom Triedman, people!!!

  382. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:22

    Glad you enjoyed it Tsam, and thanks.

    I wonder what other shit the copypata troll will bring for our amusement.

    Now that I think about it I might have to make some copypasta with marinara sometime later this week.
    .

  383. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:23

    My previous comment is missing the letter s.

    Apologies to all who inhabit the Sadleyverse.
    .

  384. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:24

    Also… you have to cut off a few ears to make an iHaircut omelet.
    .

  385. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:27

    Hmm, copypata. Copypita. maybe?

    Not poking fun at you, Provider. Just riffing on a typo.

  386. Dr Rev Burger King, Jr. said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:27

    The mustache of understanding is long, but it bends towards freedom.

  387. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:30

    copypâté, perhaps

  388. not a gator said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:30

    Speaking of which, something smells … pungent around here.

  389. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:31

    Copypappas!

  390. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:32

    Bending towards Freedom

  391. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:34

    Bending towards Friedom

  392. Pupienus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:35

    Also, Amelia Earhart, posthumously.

    What this country needs is a good Zombie Amelia Earhart movie.

  393. Raspar Capac said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:38

    Pretty soon, copy pasta troll will tell us about trostkyite David Brooks.

    Went to have a look at dumb “Tax the rich” video. Very dishonest count, but well, what could we have expected…

  394. DAS said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:38

    My thumbs go up for [Cristina Elisabet Fernández de Kirchner]

    So would many other body parts and functions. – Actor212

    So if you disappear for a bit, can we assume that you are, er, hiking on the Appalachian trail?

  395. Pupienus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:40

    CopyScrapple.

  396. Nymstradamus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:40

    Even the Maoist, Ross Douthat…

  397. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:42

    So if you disappear for a bit, can we assume that you are, er, hiking on the Appalachian trail?

    The valleys. The valleys are luscious this time of year

  398. Steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:44

    Even the anarcho-syndicalist, Lenninist-Trotskyite Shining-Path Neo-Vegan Potlatcher George Will wrote…

  399. The Principal Contributt said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:44

    Even the extreme leftist socialist revolutionary Dick Cheney…

  400. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:44

    Hitchens got fired by the Nation?

    Hitchens left in 2002 over his stance on the Iraq war. The official story is that it was a mutual disagreement and that he left on his terms, but scuttlebutt was that since he disagreed with Katrina, he was gone. He quit before he could get axed.

  401. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:45

    Hitchens got fired by the Nation?

    Hitchens left in 2002 over his stance on the Iraq war. The official story is that it was a mutual disagreement and that he left on his terms, but scuttlebutt was that since he disagreed *violently* with Katrina, he was gone. He quit before he could get axed.

    *fixed for accuracy

  402. Pupienus said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:46

    TIL Salem OR knows how to name bands.

    Duty (pdx), Hooker Vomit, Shitwolf and Facepalm Death

  403. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:46

    Even the extreme leftist socialist revolutionary Dick Cheney…

    Even the Castro acolyte William Kristol…

  404. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:46

    Facepalm Death

    I liked them before they sold out, man.

  405. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:49

    Facepalm Death

    That is excellent.

  406. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:54

    Moron trolls have to get their mor-on.

    Now, that’s funny.

    BTW–at the risk of sounding like a moron–could you identify, well, you in those videos? If you said which one of the guys was you, I’m too lazy to scroll up and see.

  407. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:55

    I like this comment:

    This song lasts as? long as my average sex sessions do.

  408. smedley said,

    January 25, 2012 at 21:58

    “He quit before he could get axed.”

    What question could Katrina possibly have axed to make Hitchens quit??????

  409. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:01

    This song lasts as long as my average sex sessions do.

    Let me recommend Anal Cunt.

  410. The Principal Contributt said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:02

    I seriously can’t wait for the writhing paroxysms of wild nuttery and illogic that will explode among the whole of the right wing upon the inescapable collision of their carefully-constructed alternate reality and BO’s reelection, since at least that bit of reality can’t be brushed under the “liberal media” or “liberal facts” rug.

    Considering how utterly insane and nonsensical they’ve become just up to now, it’s going to be something spectacular. Just hopefully not too violent, which remains a nagging fear of mine knowing how insane and militant they are as a whole.

  411. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:02

    Not poking fun at you, Provider. Just riffing on a typo.

    As a riff-off artist myself I understand completely. And if you were poking fun, I should imagine that I would probably deserve it.
    ;)
    .

  412. Chris said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:08

    I know this is a waste, but,

    On December 16, 2009, Obama officially altered President Reagan’s 1983 Executive Order 12425 (EO 12425) to give Interpol, the policing arm of the International Criminal Court (ICC), carte blanche to operate with impunity on American soil. This was in contravention of restrictions put in place by Reagan to hold the international police force accountable for its actions, not unlike American law enforcement agencies, and to uphold the supremacy of the Constitution as the highest form of law in the United States.

    Interpol does not, never has and can not “operate” on American soil, or any other soil, unless by “operate” you mean “set up offices, collect data and email it around.” Interpol is not the “policing arm” of anything or anyone. It’s a liaison between national police agencies. They can’t make arrests, or really do much of any kind of field work that a regular police agency could (there’s no such thing as an “Interpol Agent” of the kind you see in various movies and TV shows, for instance). If there’s a big enough crime of an international nature, they can send a field team to the site: that team will be there to offer assistance and expertise to whichever national police agency has jurisdiction, and that’s it.

    In other words, Interpol probably has about as much power over you as the SPCA, no matter how much of a mandate Obama may have given them. But don’t let that stop you from freaking out over their impending totalitarian regime, like you already do with the equally impotent UN.

  413. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:13

    Provider_&c that video is indeed great. If sadlies haven’t yet clicked it, you should, it’s got stop motion aliens and men-in-black and dry-ice fog and a kitty and Provider and everything a video needs!

  414. Steerpike said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:14

    I can’t WAIT for several things, among them:

    All of the corporate, centrist, establishment Republicans having to swallow their bile and endorse bombthrower, radical, superego and professional flaming asshole, Newt Gingrich, when he steps up to accept the GOP nom (or vice-versa);

    Watching them skreech and blame each other when Obama not only wins re-election, but bring the House back under Dem control (especially if Newt tops the GOP ticket);

    Hearing their explanations why America continues to “survive” (and possibly even thrive) during and after the second Obama administration, despite their constant, breathless prediction that it wouldn’t.

  415. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:16

    A-freaking-hem. The UN isn’t impotent. If you commit genocide, and don’t happen to be a major world power, or allied to a major world power, or selling oil to a major world power, and manage to come up on the losing side of whatever little conflict you did your genociding in, well you better lock your windows and doors, because in 15 or 20 years, the UN is going to come knocking. And when they do they don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. For very long. Unless you’re busy or something. Especially not if you’re broke.

  416. Pryme said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:16

    I seriously can’t wait for the writhing paroxysms of wild nuttery and illogic that will explode among the whole of the right wing upon the inescapable collision of their carefully-constructed alternate reality

    They’re like Batman villains; being proven wrong doesn’t make them change their tune, it just reinforces that they didn’t try hard enough (“Our moderate wing is why we lost!”).

    When Bats outsmarts the Riddler, it’s not because the Riddler is a faux intellectual who always gives hints to his crimes; it’s because Batman must have cheated.

    When the Scrarecrow’s latest phobia-induced machination fails spectacularly, it’s not because someone developed a cure based on the numerous victims laying around; it’s because the dosage wasn’t high enough.

    When Poison Ivy gets stuffed back into the wacko basket, it’s not because she a plant-loving sociopath who’s willing to throw her cat around and slit throats just to save some flowers; it’s because she’s the only one who cares.

  417. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:57

    What question could Katrina possibly have axed to make Hitchens quit??????

    “Chris, have you considered a twelve-step program?”

  418. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 22:58

    In other words, Interpol probably has about as much power over you as the SPCA

    DOGPOUND LIBEL!

  419. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:14

    Let me recommend Anal Cunt.

    That should not be recommended to anyone.

  420. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:17

    That should not be recommended to anyone.

    Oh come on. They’re FUN! Also:

    An unknown error occured. Please try again.

    SPOOOOOKY.

  421. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:27

    I’m too lazy to scroll up and see.

    I’m the bass player in the second video, didn’t participate in the first one, but thought Tsam might like to see former Dead Boys Guitarist Cheetah Chrome banging out one of his numbers with a bunch of my freinds most of whome would become future band mates of mine.

    I’m the guy in the three piece suit wearing shades in this one Warning not exactly the best sound. my favorite bit starts at 11:34.
    .

  422. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:29

    my favorite bit starts at 11:34

    Rick-roll, eh?

  423. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:31

    …a kitty….

    That would be Gunter. He was an awesome little dude. He became the house cat after his original owner moved out of town.
    .

  424. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:32

    An unknown error occured. Please try again.

    INTEROL11111!!!!!11111

    Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    psst…If anybody needs me I’ll be hiding under my bed.
    .

  425. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:35

    Rick-roll, eh?

    Why no, however that is an excellent idea!

    Note to self: Inserting the Rick-roll or Goatse-roll in the middle of a legitimate video…suck them in then Bam!
    .

  426. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:36

    It appears sthat I caught a case of the bbkf’s.

    Apologies all around.
    .

  427. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:42

    Sadly, the goatse doesn’t last long on YouTube.

  428. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:48

    Well, I’ll just come right out and say it: all the guys and gals of S,N are downright squee-worthy.

  429. vacuumslayer said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:49

    “Sadly, the goatse doesn’t last long on YouTube.”

    That’s silly–there seem to be plenty of Anal Cunt vids there.

  430. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2012 at 23:53

    It even got removed from the crazy right-wing video host that said it wasn’t gonna censor! It got rated for though. That’s a five-star goatse!

  431. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:02

    The Solanum tuberosum commonly has its largest growth underneath itself.

    He’s a member of the nutshade family.

  432. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:12

    all the guys and gals of S,N are downright squee-worthy.

    Substance is more squeegee-worthy.

  433. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:13

    He’s a member of the nutshade family.

    Don;t you mean “nutsack”?

  434. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:14

    I arrived at these conclusions because, before I ever really thought of the abortion issue, I was a conservative.

    I see seven foot tall purple slime monsters not because I took the brown acid, but because I am a Conservative.

    I see the birth of a meme here…

    I shoved a dildo up my ass and donned two wetsuits because, before I ever really thought of kinky paraphilias, I was a conservative.

  435. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:17

    Substance, that’s so unfair. All that’s there is spam. I was so looking forward to seeing responses to Galtse.

  436. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:19

    Damn, late to the party… Ned and a.m.e.l. beat me to the punch.

  437. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:21

    A Youtuber with Smut in it.

  438. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:24

    It was actually the nym used by a trool over at Eschaton for a little while. A very funny one, I have to say.

    funny nym or funny trool?

  439. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:29

    Where/who are you in the vid, Smut?

  440. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:30

    He’s the painted dancer. Sexy!

  441. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:31

    It appears sthat I caught a case of the bbkf’s.

    i will let this slide only because 1) i am a sucker for a cute bass player 2) i am in a good mood

    i am in a good mood because our doc got the mri back today and it appears there are a couple of discs that could be causing these issues…some sort of injection may or may not help…still have to wait for the results of the emg and nerve testing for a definitive answer…yay!

  442. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:32

    He’s the painted dancer. Sexy!

    thanks…now i have tina turner in my head and want chinese food…

  443. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 0:34

    He’s the painted dancer. Sexy!

    I was gonna make that joke and forgot to. IN MY HEAD, I beat you to it.

  444. Nymstradamus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 1:15

    I swear if Senator Trucknutz gets re-elected in 2012, I will disown Massachusetts.

    Elizabeth Warren’s “It Gets Better” clip:

    http://youtu.be/7GhKh32Lts8

  445. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 1:24

    A Youtuber with Smut in it.

    Was that video filmed around the time your “Ming the Meritless” picture was taken?

  446. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2012 at 1:35

    Some hair regrowth had occurred by the time of the video.

  447. In Hell's Kitchen said,

    January 26, 2012 at 1:46

    YO! Peeps!

    we an update on the Duthats and don’t Duthats of His Eminent Holiness Fr. Duthat !

    Piece!

  448. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 1:54

    Most interesting woman in the world? GranuaileHer contempt for cowardice is told in one tale of when she was fighting the Stauntons of Kinturk castle. Apparently in the midst of battle her son Tibbot faltered and drew back to shelter behind his mother. ‘An ag iarraidh dul i bhfolach ar mo tho’in’ (‘Is is trying to hide behind my backside you are — the place you came from?’) she asked.

  449. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 1:58

    funny nym or funny trool?

    What is funny bbkf, was that was exactly the question that popped into my head when I saw Jeff’s comment. then I got distracted by a shiny thing and forgot to ask.
    .

  450. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 2:24

    Most interesting woman in the world? Granuaile

    I think we found our winner!

    Interesting reading at that thar link.
    .

  451. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 2:28

    it appears there are a couple of discs that could be causing these issues

    That’s fuckin sweet

  452. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 2:35

    Most interesting woman in the world? Cheng I Sao… gotta love those lady pirates.

    Uh, I’ll be in my bunk… shivering me timber.

  453. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 26, 2012 at 3:00

    there’s no such thing as an “Interpol Agent” of the kind you see in various movies and TV shows, for instance.

    You mean there’s no such thing as Inspector Zenigata, forever chasing Lupin, Jigen, Fujiko and Goemon in a world-spanning escapade?

    This is worse news than finding out Santa Claus was just a Greek Orthodox saint.

  454. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 26, 2012 at 3:11

    What could it be?

    As it turns out, Newt is the one who was actually born in Kenya as the love-child of George Wallace, but was then secretly transported to Georgia in the care of the woman posing as his mother, given a fake birth certificate all in the long-term plot to make him the 2012 Republican presidential candidate.

    Also, he murdered a 12-year old boy, likely in some sort of Catholic blood-ritual.

  455. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 3:39

    You mean there’s no such thing as Inspector Zenigata, forever chasing Lupin, Jigen, Fujiko and Goemon in a world-spanning escapade?

    It’s even worse, there’s no such thing as Gamera, forever fighting that weird knife-headed thing.

  456. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 3:52

    Alas, I got caught by a hideous vomit-inducing monster* for the last two days, and have been prostrate, unable to read or comment. bbkf, glad to hear hubbkf is getting positive news. Cerb, I hope everything goes well.

    And my mom is definitely the most interesting woman in the world. She’s had affairs with world leaders, met a dead body swimming in the Dead Sea, been caught in a riot in Afghanistan, and once told Kissinger to stop bombing Cambodia. And she drinks scotch.

    *Personal, not Republican, though I have had to steer clear of anything nausea-inducing on the tee-vee, like R debates.

  457. Pupienus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:02

    The Ho and I just replaced our phones with iPhone 4S models. Siri scares me.

  458. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:05

    Dr Rev Burger King, Jr. said,
    January 25, 2012 at 21:27

    The mustache of understanding is long, but it bends towards freedom.

    Well played, sir: a nym % comment Double Eagle! Join me for a martini in the clubhouse?

  459. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:06

    nym & comment.

    I blame Hiltre

  460. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:17

    Siri scares me

    Ah, so it’s an abortion you want…

  461. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:37

    steerpike: Still hangin’ tough? How many days now? (Solidarity, bro….)

    bbfk: Yay for hubb n00z !!!

  462. steerpike said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:49

    Fenwick–yes, today is day 15! 2 weeks down, and so far, I have resisted temptation. Thanks for asking

  463. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:51

    The painted dancer is Smut Clyde fer realz? Wow. Sexy indeed. Controlled movement, fluid movement. Dance training in your background?

  464. Chris said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:56

    You mean there’s no such thing as Inspector Zenigata, forever chasing Lupin, Jigen, Fujiko and Goemon in a world-spanning escapade? This is worse news than finding out Santa Claus was just a Greek Orthodox saint.

    I… did not get the reference, but one of the names sounded familiar, as did the premise of that name being chased forever by an inspector, so I wikipedia’d it just in case my hunch was right.

    FUCK… it was indeed. They made a manga version based on Arsène Lupin? I’m a bit mad. (I love the original stories, even more than Sherlock Holmes. Never could develop a taste for manga, though).

  465. Pupienus and I mean Maximus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 5:27

    Just moussaka left over from yesterday, green salad with nuts and dried fruits, crusty homemade bread with (not, this time homemade) butter.

  466. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 5:29

    Way off topic: 50 degrees in Baltimore on 25 January. Climate change, what is it?

    How could we fuck up this place so badly?

  467. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 5:42

    This will piss you off.

  468. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 5:57

    This will piss you off

    That’s depressing.

  469. rodert rudis said,

    January 26, 2012 at 6:21

    Gosh, that is depressing. And worse, I don’t have 333 years left.

  470. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 6:43

    Hiya, Major.

    Somewhere upthread (or last one), you mentioned that you spent some weeks in Okla in a KC-135 instructor school. As your AF Reserve outfit flies KC-135′s, do you now serve in some training / instructor capacity in your unit?

    And speaking of re-fueling–did your B-52 airfield-demolition mission in Iraq require in-flight refueling from Diego Garcia (or returning)?

    Also too and moreover, where are you now realtime? What’s coming up in your flight schedule?

    Questions, I got ‘em by the truckload !

  471. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 26, 2012 at 6:51

    Fenwick, with a depressing link and an inspiring one. Although the inspiring one starts to depress me when I realize how bad we have fouled our nest. Bring on the Vogons…

  472. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 6:54

    rodert: I need over a millenium to make what Mittens makes! [Not exaggerating: SSI-disability; fixed income.]

  473. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 7:15

    Hiya, s. cerevisaeiouandsometimyesy. Nym needs moar consonants! Hope the Oregon rivers have returned to their banks.

    (Gotta be a banksters joke somewhere, but I’m thick as a brick right now.)

    All the Night Hawks: Have fun. I’ll swoop back in later in the night….

  474. jim said,

    January 26, 2012 at 7:35

    “It would take you 984 years 7 months 8 days 11 hours 20 minutes and 17 seconds to make what Mitt made in 2010.”

    Some whores charge a lot more than others.

    At least all I’m whoring out is my time, & a bit of my energy … BONUS: my days off really are days off, I rarely get told what to say or do the rest of the time, & best of all, I get to keep my conscience.

    Oh, & it looks like there won’t be a “Take-A-Number” machine & a bidet installed over my carcass when I’m gone, either. I’m guessing the grass on Mittens’ plot will have no worries as to irrigation for a long, long time.

  475. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 7:46

    As your AF Reserve outfit flies KC-135?s, do you now serve in some training / instructor capacity in your unit?

    I’ve been retired since 2006. Before that I was an instructor at the unit.

    I actually started my career as a T-38 instructor. After pilot training I was selected to stay on as an instructor. People were usually selected because they had good flying skills and a good temperament. You had to be able to keep your cool while sitting in the back seat of a T-38 while some student hurls your body at the ground at 500 mph.

    And speaking of re-fueling–did your B-52 airfield-demolition mission in Iraq require in-flight refueling from Diego Garcia (or returning)?

    Those missions required 3 air refuelings. We’d tank off a Diego Garcia based KC-135 and then a KC-10 over the Indian Ocean on the way up. On the way back we’d tank off a KC-135 based out of Oman. We’d take on 100,000 pounds of fuel on the last refueling, which meant 20-30 minutes on the boom.

    Air refueling the B-52 was the hardest thing I ever learned to do in airplane. There are no ailerons (only spoilers) so roll-control was very sluggish. The plane has some instability in the yaw axis – meaning that it doesn’t want to stay put. You’re constantly working the controls to keep it in position. Also the “G” model was underpowered. I’ve had the throttles to the firewall and still been falling off the boom. So you’re trying to keep a 500,000 pound airplane in a 10-foot box behind another large aircraft, which might be maneuvering to stay in formation with other tankers. Throw in some darkness or weather or turbulence (or all three) and it gets really fun.

  476. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 26, 2012 at 9:18

    Chris: Technically speaking, it’s a manga version of Arsene Lupin’s grandson. I personally got into it watching the cartoon based on the manga. Still, I think it’s pretty amazing.

  477. Another Kiwi said,

    January 26, 2012 at 9:32

    World’s most interesting woman Tilda Swinton
    In 1995, with producer and friend Joanna Scanlan, Swinton developed a performance/installation live art piece in the Serpentine Gallery, London, where she was on display to the public for a week, asleep or apparently so, in a glass case, as a piece of performance art.

  478. Thread Bear said,

    January 26, 2012 at 9:37

    “It would take you 984 years 7 months 8 days 11 hours 20 minutes and 17 seconds to make what Mitt made in 2010.”

    And if you actully work for a living rather than earn your monet in capital gains you can probably add another 70-80 years if you want to match take home pay.

  479. Thread Bear said,

    January 26, 2012 at 9:40

    just pretend that I typed far more acurately in that last post

    Fucking proof reading! How does it work?

  480. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2012 at 10:26

    The painted dancer is Smut Clyde fer realz?

    Not realz.

  481. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 10:52

    Major: Thanks for your patience. Diego Garcia seemed like a long, long distance from Iraq. From take-off to landing, how many hours were you in the air?

    For other Sadlies: Here is a photo of a B-52 being re-fueled by a KC-135 (*). So the Major has piloted both types of planes during in-flight re-fueling operation. Photo may help illuminate the Major’s description above.

    (*) Photo may shows older models of the two types of aircraft. But you get the idea.

    Smut Clyde: I should have guessed it. Cruel people taking advantage of my credulousness and gullibility. I feel not unlike a fool.

  482. not a gator said,

    January 26, 2012 at 11:03

    In other words, Interpol probably has about as much power over you as the SPCA

    IDK, have you seen Animal Cops: New York?

  483. jim said,

    January 26, 2012 at 11:30

    Looks like someone has a little secret!

    When some network Hairdo Delivery System asked Newt about this, he laughed WAAAAAAY too fast & too loud.

    PleasepleasepleasepleasepleasePLEEEEEEEASE let Newt be the nominee … not just for the lulz … I’m dying to find out What Nancy Knows!

  484. not a gator said,

    January 26, 2012 at 11:37

    That’s why the manga/anime (which is quite old) is called Lupin III (or Rupan in some markets, because they didn’t have the rights to Lupin). Miyazaki (Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, My Neighbor Totoro, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind) actually did a Lupin III movie early in his career called The Castle of Cagliostro. I don’t think it’s the best thing he’s ever done but it does have a reputation of being the best Lupin the Third movie.

  485. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 11:38

    And my mom is definitely the most interesting woman in the world.

    Dayamn!!! Now that’s my kind of lady.

    Nice work Steerpike!!!!

    Sendiing the best of vibes to the northern hinterlands with regard to hubbbkf.

    xoxox

    BTW Fenwick, you are a treasure!
    .

  486. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 12:28

    World’s most interesting woman Tilda Swinton

    If performance art is our criteria, then Karen Finley is more interesting

    I wrote a Voicecover story on Finley in 1986, a fact she addresses in her memoir, mostly because of Pete Hamill’s ham-handed denunciation in the next issue. Finley often punctuated her monologues by smearing food on herself, and Hamill selected a canned-yam moment to expound upon. According to him, Finley’s work was all about yams. To my chagrin, Hamill’s piece was taken more seriously than mine—and he, too, had never seen Finley perform. The yam thing followed her wherever she went, just a taste of the troubles to come.

  487. Popeye said,

    January 26, 2012 at 12:31

    Finley’s work was all about yams.

    I yam what I yam.

  488. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 12:35

    Much appreciated, bro.

  489. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 12:39

    I’m a map junkie. Here’s a Map of Online Communities. Click to engorge. The small print has some wonderful jokes.

  490. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 12:47

    I don’t know why exactly, but Stevie Wonder’s I was made to love her just kills me. Every single time I listen to it.

    Major K, contemplating keeping an aircraft half of the length of a football
    with a wingspan of 61 yards and change within a “ten foot box” is kinda blowing my mind, and I have had the pleasure to enjoy mid flight control of a Cessna 152 for a total of about 30 minutes at 5000 feet in perfectly benign weather (it was a freaking blast).

    Would it be unfair to categorize the refueling of a B-52 midflight under the heading: When the crazy becomes routine?

    As a result of my “flight experience” I am always prepared to shoot my hand in the air should a stewardess come into the cabin asking (due to injuries of the crew on the flight deck) if anyone might be able to fly the plane. Which ever Airplane movie that initially presented that scenario, my response was “I wanna be that guy if that situation ever happens to me”.

    I figure that I would rather be attempting to land if there is a possibility of turfing the aircraft, than staring helplessly out of the window..

  491. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 13:02

    I’m a map junkie. Here’s a Map of Online Communities. Click to engorge. The small print has some wonderful jokes.

    Hadn’t seen that one before. Love it!
    .

  492. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 13:05

    Based on my last three year average of earnings, it would take a bit less than 2000 years to join his party.

    Sweet!
    .

  493. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 26, 2012 at 13:07

    Miyazaki (Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, My Neighbor Totoro, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind) actually did a Lupin III movie early in his career called The Castle of Cagliostro. I don’t think it’s the best thing he’s ever done but it does have a reputation of being the best Lupin the Third movie.

    That said, I think the show is the best of the lot (and of that, red-jacket Lupin is the superior Lupin). And yeah, they can be quite old, although I have a personal fondness for the more recent re-dubbings of the series, even for as stupid as some of the pop-culture references can get.

    Plus, I kind of had a thing for Fujiko Mine while I was still going through that puberty phase.

  494. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 13:57

    I am thinking of the proper title for a book as yet unwritten:

    “Manufacturing martyrdom: A sad tale of the indignities Republicans have had to suffer since (the civil rights act)*”.

    In terms of scale this would be the easiest to tackle.

    Or should the following actions (leading to great amounts of butthurt) be considered:
    *Brown v Board of education.
    *The integration of the military,
    *Integration of Major League Baseball
    *Women’s sufferage

    All of which would serve to increase the scale but not beyond reach

    Or:

    Manufacturing martyrdom: A sad tale of the indignities Conservatives have had to suffer since Appomattox.

    We are now entering Gibbon territory in terms of scope. If we were to shoot for the moon Will and Ariel Durant style we might go with the following:

    Manufacturing martyrdom: A sad tale of the indignities Royalty and their courtiers have had to suffer since the (Magna Carta)*

    Or alternatively:
    *the council of Nicea

    It seems that in this day and age that your garden variety conservative could find inspiration to wallow in outrage and fear as a result of a visit to a petting zoo, figure out a way to go apoplectic over the sight of a basket full of kittens.

    In any event I look forward to any feedback and or riffing on the concept that might follow.
    .

  495. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 15:04

    * 1964 Civil Rights Act.
    * Roe v Wade

  496. Gorilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 15:06

    We are now entering Gibbon territory

    Solidarity!

  497. Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 15:07

    *Brown v Board of education. The integration of the military, Integration of Major League Baseball, Women’s suffrage

    Lest we forget, conservatives also suffered the indignity of the Vietnam War, the Afghanistan War, and the Iraq War.

    Conservatives, almost to a man, were forced to remain stateside and vainly wave their pompoms in support while their more fortunate countrymen got ALL the military glory.

  498. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 16:03

    Diego Garcia seemed like a long, long distance from Iraq. From take-off to landing, how many hours were you in the air?

    Depended on how far north the target was. The longest was 16.5 hours.

    That’s a long time to be sitting in a cramped, noisy, 1950s vintage aircraft. Especially in an ejection seat, which aren’t very comfortable.

    The motto in SAC was “You gotta be tough to fly the heavies”.

    Here’s a picture of the crew after a mission. I’m the furthest one on the left.

    http://i39.tinypic.com/2hqr09j.jpg

  499. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 16:06

    It seems that in this day and age that your garden variety conservative could find inspiration to wallow in outrage and fear as a result of a visit to a petting zoo, figure out a way to go apoplectic over the sight of a basket full of kittens.

    Well sure. They’d be thinking “So tasty yet so out of reach”.

  500. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 26, 2012 at 16:17

    I just started charging a cheap electric r/c helicopter I got as a belated Christmas present. Cue up ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ in one hour. I hope the rest of the office has a sense of humor.

  501. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 16:32

    I’m the furthest one on the left.

    Well, of course you are! That’s doubtlessly one of reasons you land at Sadlyville, isn’t it?

    One last Fenwick Question: Is there a story behind the ‘Kong’ part of your nym?

  502. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 16:35

    Is there a story behind the ‘Kong’ part of your nym?

    “Major Kong” (Slim Pickens) was the B-52 pilot in the movie Dr. Strangelove.

    I’m actually a Lt. Colonel (retired).

  503. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 16:48

    *slaps forehead* Major Kong! Of course! Should have recognized it; I’m a major (as it were) Kubrick fan. For the second time in the thread, I feel not unlike a fool…

  504. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:05

    I’ve seen the movie enough times to just about have the script memorized.

  505. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:08

    Here’s a picture of the crew after a mission. I’m the furthest one on the left.

    You seem to be without a revolver in that photo. Do you hate the Beatles?

    And I might add (in a completely non totes homo way[not that there is anything wrong..]) that you cut a fine figure in a flight suit.

    Oh and I forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the picture of your feline boss posted a couple of days ago the one that you proceeded or followed with “..ready for your closeup…”.

    I have a deep affinity for all animals (with the possible exception of the human kind) but have to admit that cat’s are my favorite. I might even qualify as a “cat whisperer” (I got stories) and you sir have a mighty fine specimen of the species.
    .

  506. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:11

    Movie trivia to file away: Dr. Strangelove was James Earl Jones’ first film. (He plays a crewman in the B-52.) Jones had this to say about Slim Pickens, the actor who played Major Kong…. [from Wiki]

    Fellow actor James Earl Jones recalls, “He was Major Kong on and off the set—he didn’t change a thing—his temperament, his language, his behavior.” Pickens was not told that the movie was a comedy and was only given the script for scenes he was in, to get him to play it “straight.”

  507. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:14

    Items up for a great movie night would be (shown in any order) “Dr.Strangeloive”, “Failsafe”, and “Seven days in May”. Throw in the “Manchurian Candidate” and call it a movie weekend with a theme titled movies that Hollywood would never make again had they not already been made, with the exception of the last one starring Denzel which I have not seen.

    Anyone care to weigh in to how it compares with the original?
    .

  508. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:16

    You seem to be without a revolver in that photo. Do you hate the Beatles?

    I’m was carrying a Beretta 92 automatic. I still have it, as it was my personal weapon.

    I figured it I had a really nice gun to give them after I got shot down maybe they wouldn’t beat me up quite as much.

  509. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:19

    I figured it I had a really nice gun to give them after I got shot down maybe they wouldn’t beat me up quite as much.

    Good planning, I am very happy that you did not have to “cough it up”.
    .

  510. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:33

    You seem to be without a revolver in that photo. Do you hate the Beatles?

    You should be ashamed of yourself, Provider.

    —–

    Also too and moreover, I first saw Dr. Strangelove at a drive-in movie when I was in HS.

    Have drive-ins become extinct? Thank God, they existed when all my funky guy hormones really kicked-in. The Drive-in Movies were magical. Arrive early to ‘get a good spot’. Dusk turns to twilight turns to night….. MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

    Sometimes I feel ancient.

  511. Chris said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:35

    Anyone care to weigh in to how it compares with the original?

    Well, the original was about the Communist powers manipulating American McCarthyists and helping them get into the White House so that they could control the U.S. and therefore the world. Which was crazy and borderline Twilight Zoneish, but made for a great movie just the same.

    The new one kills off any political references like that and makes the villains a generic Faceless Corporation who just want their very own U.S. president. Don’t get me wrong, I know Faceless Corporations make fantastic villains, but compared to the original, it felt pretty weak to me.

  512. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:37

    Between the Beretta, and what you had in the bomb bay, I am just imagining the screaming blue shit fit the TSA would have, if they had to work at air force bases.

  513. smedley said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:45

    “Anyone care to weigh in to how it compares with the original?”

    The Showtime series “Homeland” is a better updating of the original “Manchurian Candidate.”

  514. Pryme said,

    January 26, 2012 at 17:52

    World’s most interesting woman Tilda Swinton

    I remember some story about a movie she was doing where (and I may have gotten this backwards) she played a German woman who was living in Russia…meaning she had to learn how to speak Russian with a German accent. Wha…?

  515. Steerpike said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:14

    World’s most interesting woman: Isadora Duncan.

    inventor of modern dance
    idealistic early-post revolution communist
    Pioneer of unfortunate neckwear

  516. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:16

    Between the Beretta, and what you had in the bomb bay, I am just imagining the screaming blue shit fit the TSA would have, if they had to work at air force bases.

    Don’t forget the quad .50s in the tail turret. We still had a gunner in those days. The guns were radar-aimed. The gunner sat in the cockpit and ran everything remotely, unlike the older versions where the guy actually had to sit back in the tail.

  517. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:16

    The new one kills off any political references like that and makes the villains a generic Faceless Corporation who just want their very own U.S. president.

    Koch Industries?

  518. Steerpike said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:21

    generic Faceless Corporation who just want their very own U.S. president.

    Well I would have a hard time paying attention to any movie with such a silly premise. Big business wanting to control the political process? The very idea. Next thing you know, they’ll be concocting bizarre tales of corporations being regarded as people!

  519. Chris said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:36

    Yeah, I get that they were trying to make social commentary on the Koch/Citizens United crowd.

    Thing is, then you realize that the bad guys just spent billions developing brainwashing technology, then took incredible risks by kidnapping American soldiers from the middle of a war zone and experimenting on them… when they could’ve gotten the same result safer, simpler and cheaper by simply picking a bum off a street bench, bankrolling his campaign and having him beholden to them that way. (Like in real life).

    It worked when the bad guys were Soviet agents especially in the context of 1950s hysteria (“Hey, comrade, this country is really scared shitless of us! Say, why don’t we use that against them?”) When it’s corporate America, it just seems convoluted to the point of Dr. Evilness.

  520. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:47

    I’ve seen the movie enough times to just about have the script memorized.

    I’ve played it enough times in the last few years for Mrs__B to critique every mistake in accent when the ambassador speaks Russian.

  521. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 18:57

    Pioneer of unfortunate neckwear

    this made me laff in a most unseemly manner…

  522. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:00

    The final minutes of FailSafe still creep me out.

    The remake with George Clooney wasn’t too bad, either. And they did it live, in black and white.

  523. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:03

    when they could’ve gotten the same result safer, simpler and cheaper by simply picking a bum off a street bench, bankrolling his campaign and having him beholden to them that way. (Like in real life).

    Yes, but they needed an actual war “hero” (Shades of Swiftboating in the movie, as well) to run, someone with a squeaky clean history.

  524. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:04

    World’s most interesting woman: Isadora Duncan.

    Great donut franchise, too.

  525. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:10

    World’s Most Interesting Woman:

    The poor soul trapped in my manly body.

  526. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:11

    And they did it live,

    O’Reilly is a big fan.

  527. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:12

    as you all know, hubbkf and I have had a trying week…and again, y’all are much appreciated…to top it all off, my macbook pro took a dive….WHY IS STEVE JOBS TORMENTING ME FROM HIS GRAVE?!?!?!?!

  528. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:14

    A sad tale of the indignities Conservatives have had to suffer since Appomattox. Magna Carta

    This conspiracy goes much deeper than we originally thought.

  529. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:15

    WHY IS STEVE JOBS TORMENTING ME FROM HIS GRAVE?!?!?!?!

    Perhaps it’s time for for you to purchase another $2000 laptop. This is not torture, it’s more like making sure you get the best iExperience with their fine fine products.

  530. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:17

    HELLO hello hello…

    ECHO echo echo….

  531. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:20

    WHY IS STEVE JOBS TORMENTING ME FROM HIS GRAVE?!?!?!?!

    He’s an iZombie?

  532. 'natch said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:21

    Perhaps it’s time for for you to purchase another $2000 laptop. This is not torture, it’s more like making sure you get the best iExperience with their fine fine products.

    Salt, meet wound.

  533. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:31

    The new one kills off any political references like that and makes the villains a generic Faceless Corporation who just want their very own U.S. president. Don’t get me wrong, I know Faceless Corporations make fantastic villains, but compared to the original, it felt pretty weak to me.

    Thanks, Chris, I figgered that might be the case.

    The final minutes of FailSafe still creep me out.

    Yeah, the noise the phone of the American ambassador makes confirming the Moscow strike sends chills down my spine every time I see it.

    For Sadly’s pining for some hot Space 1999 action check it:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jAlE_HLDj8 links for the pilot.
    .

  534. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:36

    For Sadly’s pining for some hot Space 1999 action check

    That was one of Gerry Anderson’s shows, as I recall. I used to like UFO.

  535. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:37

    A sad tale of the indignities Conservatives have had to suffer since Appomattox. Magna Carta

    This conspiracy goes much deeper than we originally thought.

    Never figured I’d have a chance to do this, but AHEM

    [snip]

    “Manufacturing martyrdom: A sad tale of the indignities Royalty and their courtiers have had to suffer since the (Magna Carta)*

    Or alternatively:
    *the council of Nicea”
    .

  536. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:47

    Between the Beretta, and what you had in the bomb bay, I am just imagining the screaming blue shit fit the TSA would have, if they had to work at air force bases.

    They would probably just take the water bottles away and let the pistol go right on by…After they inspected their boots, of course.

  537. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:49

    Never figured I’d have a chance to do this, but AHEM

    Wow, rookie move on my part. My bad.

  538. Steerpike said,

    January 26, 2012 at 19:55

    Perhaps it’s time for for you to purchase another $2000 laptop. This is not torture, it’s more like making sure you get the best iExperience with their fine fine products.

    To paraphrase Apple’s other great Steve:

    “Never trust a computer you can’t (afford to) throw out a window.”

  539. Chris said,

    January 26, 2012 at 20:08

    The final minutes of FailSafe still creep me out.

    Likewise. So does the entire movie, really. Easily the scariest of the What If Cold War Went Nuclear movies.

    Yes, but they needed an actual war “hero” (Shades of Swiftboating in the movie, as well) to run, someone with a squeaky clean history.

    Lack of imagination by the bad guys. As Reagan and Bush proved, a halfway decent PR department will do more for your image than a dozen lifetimes’ worth of war exploits.

  540. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 20:08

    ehhhhhh, you are NOT helping…I am still holding out hope that maxine will pull through after a drying out period…her demise came about in an incident involving lucy the NOT wonder dog, an almost empty water bottle and the ancient trunk that is our coffee table…

  541. Pupienus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 20:31

    The Ho posted on his Facebook

    OMG! Just saw the last episode of season 2 of Dowton Abbey! Who would have guessed the new heir dies on the Hindenburg?!

    People freaked.

  542. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 20:40

    Dowton Abbey!

    I’ve ignored them since Agent Orange.

  543. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2012 at 20:46

    her demise came about in an incident involving lucy the NOT wonder dog, an almost empty water bottle and the ancient trunk that is our coffee table…

    If you paid via credit card there may be applicable buying insurance. Worked wonders when The Lovely Daughter poured juice into grandma’s expensive new machine.

  544. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:10

    People freaked.

    last year hubbkf brought me home the full DVD from the station, so one night when my wing nut mothe was staying with us, we watched it even though she had already seen it. she nodded off for most of it, but when she came to, she looked at the teevee and exclaimed , “oh good! he hasn’t died yet !”

  545. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:16

    Charles Murray has written an entertaining quiz.

  546. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:18

    to top it all off, my macbook pro took a dive

    Someone hasn’t been repairing her permissions, apparently.

  547. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:19

    That was one of Gerry Anderson’s shows, as I recall. I used to like UFO.

    Space 1999 -> Toni Tenille -> Worst popular haircut in America, evah.

  548. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:21

    Who would have guessed the new heir dies on the Hindenburg?!

    100 years ago, Newt Gingrich would have proposed zeppelins as safe alternatives to cruise ships, in the wake of the Titanic disaster.

  549. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:23

    I am still holding out hope that maxine will pull through after a drying out period

    Oh, THAT kind of dive. Open it up, lay it upside down, and put a towel underneath it. If it’s just water or soapy water, should be fine. If not, take it down to the local genius bar.

  550. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:26

    If you paid via credit card there may be applicable buying insurance. Worked wonders when The Lovely Daughter poured juice into grandma’s expensive new machine.

    we may still be carrying applecare on it…if so, I will be pleading ignorance on what happened to it…as far as I can tell, it just …died…

  551. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:30

    Oh, THAT kind of dive. Open it up, lay it upside down, and put a towel underneath it. If it’s just water or soapy water, should be fine. If not, take it down to the local genius bar.

    she’s been living on an air vent in the kitchen since the incident…also too, nearest genius bar is 3hrs away…and I don’t like those people…snotty little hipsters or frustrated idontknowwhats…

  552. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:35

    Space 1999 -> Toni Tenille -> Worst popular haircut in America, evah.
    that reminds me…the other day i heard a song that took me back a loooooooong ways…i virtually hadn’t thought of this guy for years…oh, man i had a major crush on him…

  553. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:37

    also too, the local genius bar would be whichever one I happen to be drinking in…

    ha! i kill me!

  554. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:38

    Oh, THAT kind of dive. Open it up, lay it upside down, and put a towel underneath it. If it’s just water or soapy water, should be fine. If not, take it down to the local genius bar.

    Leave it alone for a couple DAYS while doing this. If it was soda or something like it–just take it to the genius bar now.

  555. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:41

    And my mom is definitely the most interesting woman in the world.

    “address my envelope, lips!” is really D-KW!

    Pupienus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 4:02 (kill)

    The Ho and I just replaced our phones with iPhone 4S models. Siri scares me.

    “Siri, email folder titled ‘pron’ to all OPB staff”

  556. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:45

    So I just scrolled up to see if my Siri jokes got any laffs. NO!

    My god, is this microphone even ON?

  557. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:47

    Try speaking into THIS one.

  558. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:47

    LOL @#frat humor

  559. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:47

    Leave it alone for a couple DAYS while doing this

    really tsam? it’s like you don’t know me at all! do you think i’m capable of NOT trying to turn it on like 50 times a day?!?!?

  560. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:52

    “Try speaking into THIS one.”

    Hey, I’m all for being confident, but carrying a microphone with you everywhere is just going to far.

  561. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:52

    A sad tale of the indignities Conservatives have had to suffer since Appomattox. Magna Carta the evolution of bipedalism.

    “Why Og not knuckle walk with nose next to alpha male’s ass?”

  562. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:57

    Hey, I’m all for being confident, but carrying a microphone with you everywhere is just going to far.

    I was BORN with this microphone in my hand.

  563. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:58

    really tsam? it’s like you don’t know me at all! do you think i’m capable of NOT trying to turn it on like 50 times a day?!?!?

    You can do that if you want. I’m saying that it takes that long to dry it out. However, it’s best if you keep you dickbeaters off it.

  564. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:59

    So I just scrolled up to see if my Siri jokes got any laffs. NO!

    I chuckled to myself, does that count?

  565. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:59

    However, it’s best if you keep you dickbeaters off it.

    i prefer the updated term ‘junkpunchers’ if you please…

  566. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 21:59

    Conservative caveman is conservative.

    Perhaps the invention of the wetsuit dates back much further than originally thought.

  567. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:00

    keep you dickbeaters off it.

    Well shit, why even have a computer then? Geez.

  568. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:00

    i prefer the updated term ‘junkpunchers’ if you please…

    mark no like junkpunch

  569. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:01

    mark no like junkpunch

    don’t worry…i am very judicious in my junkpunching…

  570. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:02

    also, does it make a difference if maxine was on at the time of the said waterbottle down incident?

  571. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:03

    Conservative caveman is conservative.

    Fire burn! Stoopit liberal want food rot. Prolly want fire czar, too!

  572. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:04

    I feel like I’m a magnet Internet assholery these days.

  573. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:05

    also, does it make a difference if maxine was on at the time of the said waterbottle down incident?

    The definitive answer is MAYBE.

  574. tigris said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:06

    Charles Murray has written an entertaining quiz.

    Jesus, his vision of middle America read likes David Brooksian bullshit.

  575. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:09

    I feel like I’m a magnet Internet assholery these days.

    Ooooh…LGMansplainin’.

  576. tigris said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:11

    Murray’s research is so thorough he doesn’t think “Despicable Me” was a kid’s film.

  577. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:13

    keep you dickbeaters off it.

    Well shit, why even have a computer then? Geez.

    You meant “hands”?

    Uh, I mean, yeah, I knew that. Never mind then [whistling nonchalantly]. Nice day, eh?

  578. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:13

    The definitive answer is MAYBE.

    so you’re saying i maaaaay have a chance?!?!

  579. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:14

    Ooooh…LGMansplainin’.

    No shit, the only thing missing is a condescending “little lady” and a pat on the head.

  580. Pupienus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:14

    tsam is that a microphone in your pocket or ….

  581. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:17

    Murray’s research is so thorough he doesn’t think “Despicable Me” was a kid’s film.

    I’ve got to say that “Bank of Evil (Formerly Lehman Brothers)” made me laugh like a child.

  582. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:18

    Ooooh…LGMansplainin’.

    Comedy. Genius.

  583. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:18

    No shit, the only thing missing is a condescending “little lady” and a pat on the head.

    ikr? vs, i can get my junkpunchers over there in a red-hot second if need be…

  584. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:22

    LOL, thanks bbkf. I like to think I junk punched him…rhetorically.

  585. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:25

    LOL, thanks bbkf. I like to think I junk punched him…rhetorically.

    Well, you did use ALL CAPS so that qualifies.

  586. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:27

    LOL, thanks bbkf. I like to think I junk punched him…rhetorically.

    oh, you did…i just feel like junkpunching somebody today and apparently tsam is not willing…

  587. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:27

    All caps=sarcasm. I was desperately afraid he might think I were actually thanking him. He doesn’t seem very bright.

  588. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:28

    tsam can be so unreasonable sometimes!

    Come on, tsam, take a junkpunch for tht team!

  589. Pupienus said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:28

    Fucking internet asshole magnets, how do they work?

  590. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:31

    Come on, tsam, take a junkpunch for tht team!

    If the puncher was wearing nice bondage outfit…I could be convinced.

  591. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:36

    tsam/gimp slash, COMING SOON!

  592. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:37

    also, does it make a difference if maxine was on at the time of the said waterbottle down incident?

    It depends on how much water, where it went, etc. Did you see any pretty blue lights? If you did, start recycling bottles.

  593. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:37

    If the puncher was wearing nice bondage outfit…I could be convinced.

    wellllll…it is nearly forty degrees here, so i guess i wouldn’t get too chilly in the bondage outfit…

  594. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:37

    pressie for tsam

  595. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:38

    oh, you did…i just feel like junkpunching somebody today and apparently tsam is not willing…

    I’m not going to take one for that chad that VS took to school.

  596. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:38

    That Murray quiz is hilarious – looks like it was written by Jeff Foxworthy.

  597. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:41

    Fuck, I linked to the wrong thing. I had dick Cheney in bdsm gear. I actually nixed the fat girl joke because I thought it would be a dick move.

  598. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:41

    pressie for tsam

    Hm….So how much money are we talking about to appear in one of these things? I’m asking for a friend.

  599. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:42

    Heh. Dick move.

    LOL @#frathumor

  600. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:44

    You meant “hands”?

    I did. I enjoy describing body parts as tools for a particular job.

    One of my favorites is “Shut your man-pleaser!”. Women LOVE it when I say that to them.

  601. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:45

    That Murray quiz is hilarious – looks like it was written by Jeff Foxworthy.

    i know…and now i’m sure whether i am white or not!!!

  602. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:45

    tsam is that a microphone in your pocket or ….

    It’s whatever you want it to be, sister.

  603. tsam said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:46

    Jesus. SOMEbody around here needs to get laid. And it’s not any of you.

  604. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:46

    It depends on how much water, where it went, etc. Did you see any pretty blue lights? If you did, start recycling bottles.

    it was just a tiny bit and it probably went into the hinge area…i didn’t see any flashing blue lights because this was ocurring while i was immobilized…maxine makes a noise like she’s turning on and sometimes the keyboard lights up…

  605. vacuumslayer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:47

    tsam is cute when he’s horny.

    *waits for he must be cute all the time joke*

  606. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:47

    i know…and now i’m sure whether i am white or not!!!

    i’m NOT sure…although i have been told that i’m too white to dance…

  607. kg said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:47

    just chuck that macbook in a big old bag of (uncooked) rice

  608. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:48

    …maxine makes a noise like she’s turning on and sometimes the keyboard lights up…

    just like my sex life! hey o!

  609. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:51

    just chuck that macbook in a big old bag of (uncooked) rice

    i have heard that rice is good for drying things out…hubbkf thinks that since maxine was on, although sleeping, that the water may have fried something…it sounds like he’s going to order a drive exterior and take the hard drive out to see if we can get anything off it…of course ALL my writing is on there and i haven’t backed anything up to the external drive for long time…this has hubbkf more than a little miffed with me considering one of the things i found in my christmas stocking was a jump drive so i would quit bitching about how difficult it was for me to remember how to back up shit to the external drive…

  610. 'natch said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:52

    Fucking internet asshole magnets, how do they work?

    Mine works due to the steel pins in my pelvis.

  611. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:52

    *pictures bbkf thusly*

  612. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:53

    the steel pins in my pelvis

    John Henry was a steel-driving man.

  613. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 22:54

    *pictures bbkf thusly*

    nailed it!

  614. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:03

    Oddly our friend Tom does not rush into correct this fellow. I WONDER WHY.

  615. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:04

    Penis posse, dudette.

  616. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:07

    I think the rumors of my having a penis posse are overblown*.

    *Ha!

    Yes, I’m now just going to start laughing at my jokes preemptively. I may start LOLing myself and giving myself winks and stuff.

  617. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:08

    John Henry was a steel-driving man.

    Related

    Also and too.

  618. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:09

    loling myself…

  619. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:13

    I WONDER WHY

    Well, it could be that he posted a half hour after you drove Tom into a mewling pile of thumbsucking in the corner.

    But that could just be a guess.

  620. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:32

    me-OW, actor…

  621. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:44

    PUT THE WHOLE GADDAMNED THANG IN A HUGE BAG OF DRY RICE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

    IMMERSE.
    .

  622. N__B said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:46

    iCrispies

  623. Jennifer said,

    January 26, 2012 at 23:52

    since I’ve missed the whole thread, just wanted to say I’m happy to hear that hubbkf had good news.

  624. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:02

    I missed everything. I went on a bender, y’know.
    .

  625. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:19

    I missed everything. I went on a bender, y’know.

    I am imagining a gender bender where you recklessly tear through all manner of orientations and preferences and presentations, even a few that no one has ever tried before.

  626. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:20

    PUT THE WHOLE GADDAMNED THANG IN A HUGE BAG OF DRY RICE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

    Came in late. Is this medical advice, or disposing of bodies?

  627. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:25

    your choice

  628. Thread Bear said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:26

    PUT THE WHOLE GADDAMNED THANG IN A HUGE BAG OF DRY RICE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

    Or you could take it to an expert.

  629. Nymstradamus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:36

    Get ready for some fresh neo-conservative butthurt:

    Pentagon to shrink US ground troops by 100,000 as part of $487bn cuts

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jan/26/pentagon-cut-us-ground-troops

  630. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 0:58

    Nym, I saw that earlier on Yahoo and the comments were a cauldron of wingnut rage. When I really need a laugh I read the comments there on any story about climate change or Obama.

  631. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:05

    FOR THE HUGE THANG OF GADDAMNED PUT A WHOLE DAYS BAG OF RICE IN A DRY COUPLE.

  632. Thread Bear said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:15

    Get ready for some fresh neo-conservative butthurt:

    I don’t see why they’d be butthurt over that. After all, they are all loaded up with guns and ammo right? And they’ve all seen Red Dawn. And everyone knows that private citizens do everything much better and much cheaper than the government. What’s the problem?

  633. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:19

    *waits for he must be cute all the time joke*

    That wouldn’t be a joke, I don’t think.

  634. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:24

    it was just a tiny bit and it probably went into the hinge area…i didn’t see any flashing blue lights because this was ocurring while i was immobilized…maxine makes a noise like she’s turning on and sometimes the keyboard lights up…

    Just leave it alone for a couple of days. The rice trick works really well for phones, and should work equally well for the laptop, but you’ll need a fuckload of rice to do it.

  635. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:27

    of course ALL my writing is on there and i haven’t backed anything up to the external drive for long time…this has hubbkf more than a little miffed with me considering one of the things i found in my christmas stocking was a jump drive so i would quit bitching about how difficult it was for me to remember how to back up shit to the external drive…

    Listen to the man. He knows of what he speaks.

    Rule # 1: Data you have only one copy of is data you don’t care about.

  636. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:31

    … all manner of orientations and preferences and presentations, even a few that no one has ever tried before.

    I’m pretty sure you’re talking about the empty set there. If one can believe one’s friends.

  637. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:31

    Erick son of Erick is full of despair: http://www.redstate.com/erick/2012/01/24/were-fighting-over-two-guys-and-neither-side-thinks-the-other-can-win/

    The comments are gold – pining for Pawlenty to save them.

  638. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:33

    Rather than the jump drive spend the money and get something like this. Then turn on Time Machine. Saves thinking about it.

  639. Nymstradamus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:43

    The comments are gold – pining for Pawlenty to save them.

    Pawlenty? What, no calls for Super Sarah, the Power Palin to come to the rescue?

    The Cool Coach (Urban Meyer) haz a sad.

  640. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:43

    Rule # 1: Data you have only one copy of is data you don’t care about.

    When I worked in IT we used to say you need to either have a good backup or a good resume.

  641. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:49

    What, no calls for Super Sarah, the Power Palin to come to the rescue?

    Please, PLEASE, PLEEEEEEEEEZE.

  642. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:56

    It puts it in a huge bag of rice or it gets the hose!

  643. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 1:57

    Rather than the jump drive spend the money and get something like this. Then turn on Time Machine. Saves thinking about it.

    Substance knows of what he speaks.

    Time machine rules. The first time you fuck up a document and/or save over something you’ve worked on for hours and can just go back in time to before you fucked it up, you’ll be ridiculously happy you have it. And it’s cake to use.

    Time Machine is the first time I’ve been able to get both my dad and mother-in-law setup with backup systems that they understand and can actually use.

  644. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:03

    Y’all are makin’ fun o’ me, aren’t ya?
    .

  645. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:05

    The comments are gold – pining for Pawlenty to save them.

    Pure comedy gold:

    As to being solicited for money, I had contributed to Cain’s race very early on. That put me on his email list. Even after many attempts to beg Cain’s campaign to take me off their list, no luck. I was solicited daily by the Cain campaign for money. It seems that all the campaigns solicit those on their email lists for money. I’m sure Gingrich is begging for money to compete also.

    I’ve been torn between being glad that Perry got out when he did, as he did so with grace and dignity. He can rise up on another day. He would have been thrown into the same gutter politics as Romney and Gingrich are displaying currently, and that wasn’t Perry’s style.

    As thunder would say, the schaden freudes itself.

  646. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:05

    Fresh Palin mango:

    If Palin doesn’t jump in, then I’m with Newt. I would walk through ice and snow to vote for Palin. She’s a fighter, just like Newt. The Big Headed Ignorant Gop Leaders don’t like her anymore than Newt but she has no baggage. If the so called “leaders” bring in anyone else I’ll still vote for Newt.

  647. rodert rudis said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:10

    U.S. Defense budget: $1.030–$1.415 trillion (WIki)

    Interest on debt incurred in past wars: $109.1–$431.5 billion (?)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_budget_of_the_United_States

    The breakdown of the budget is interesting because it includes Homeland Security, Nasa, and other departments you might not expect to be part of defense. The CIA’s budget is not mentioned, probably because it’s a secret. But surely it too is in the billions.

    So gov’t plans to reduce D spending by 489 billion. Sounds like alot of moolah, but when compared to the entire budget for ten years, it’s actually less than 5%. Maybe much less.

    Still, less is less, I guess.

  648. Nymstradamus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:10

    I’ve been torn between being glad that Perry got out when he did, as he did so with grace and dignity. He can rise up on another day.

    The Red State Trike Force is not very aware of video recording technology and all its implications, huh?

  649. Nymstradamus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:13

    I would walk through ice and snow to vote for Palin.

    Yeah, I’m sure “vote for” were the first words that leaped to mind.

  650. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:18

    The mangoes are sweet like wingnut tears:

    The Establishment drove off all the conservative candidates and now this is what we have left. Yuck! Man, we truly did need Perry to go in with a wrecking ball. Well I am sure the Lord is going to use him yet and mightily.

  651. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:19

    Man, we truly did need Perry to go in with a wrecking ball.

    He did!

  652. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:22

    Well I am sure the Lord is going to use him yet and mightily

    According the poll numbers, he got used in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina.

  653. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:26

    Great gods above and below NO!:

    Perry would make a great Secretary of the Interior and there have been some rumors of that. He could do a lot of things.

    Yeah, none of them good.

  654. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:33

    He could do a lot of things.

    He can count to five and make a poopie AT THE SAME TIME.

  655. tigris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:33

    she has no baggage

    Hell, she’s got so much baggage she has to travel by freight.

  656. rodert rudis said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:35

    Also, I’m trying to teach Iris some English by watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. The phrase just now on WoF was Keep Plugging Away. Now how the hell am I supposed to explain that to her? You know, English is a hard language to teach to someone whose own language only has five vowel sounds and whose phrases and expressions actually make sense. Maybe we’ll just skip WoF from now on and just concentrate on Jeopardy. Besides, I heard that Pat Sajak and Vanna White are winos.

  657. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:38

    Best RedState comment mango… Dan Savage has even got through TPer’s thick skulls:

    You obviously no nothing about either the Tea Party or Santorum.

    The driving force behind the Tea Parties is smaller government. Santorum’s whole career has been about enlarging government. If you think he’s a conservative, you need a dictionary and a really good shampoo because your hair is brown and icky.

  658. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:40

    Also, I’m trying to teach Iris some English by watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

    Get her some Beverly Cleary books- the vocabulary is simple, the grammar is clear, and the books are funny as hell.

  659. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:43

    You folks are tempting me to get out of the boat. That is not a very nice to do.

  660. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:44

    Besides, I heard that Pat Sajak and Vanna White are winos.

    And Sajak is a total rightwing asshat.

  661. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:47

    That is not a very nice to do.

    Jeebus. It’s quite a to do. It’s not very nice though.

    It’s definitely beer:30

  662. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:50

    About the only real difference between the Gingrich and Romney camps is that the Gingrich camp intuitive understands this and is happy to go down with a fighter. The Romney camp is still deluded into thinking a milquetoast moderate from Massachusetts who can’t win Iowa twice in a primary is somehow electable.

    Thank you Iowa!

  663. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:53

    Apparently posting the following truth makes them nervous. They accuse me of being paid by the Gingrich campaign, question why I spend my time doing what I do and in the end try to silence me. The GOP has left me and if Romney is the nominee I will not vote for any of those cowards.

    PUMAS!

  664. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:56

    The Redstate comments remind me of a football board after a bad season; “the coach sucks!” “if only xx could have stayed healthy” “the refs are against us” etc. etc.

    Excuses, excuses.

  665. Cool Coach Urban Meyer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 2:59

    The Redstate comments remind me of a football board after a bad season; “the coach sucks!”

    Ding dong dilly, loony libs! The Coach is Cool, and he’s serving up a spread of Newtonian Dynamics. Badoodle boo-ya! Urban out.

  666. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:02

    Excuses, excuses.

    The economy’s still sucking though. It’s really really hard to believe that Gingrich would win, but he doesn’t have to mount some pie-in-the-sky campaign to run against a successful president, he just has to point out that things are shitty and where the buck stops.

    Let me rephrase: It’s really really hard to believe that an unbelievably cynical power-monger and obviously horrible individual like Gingrich etc.

  667. Beautiful Mind (in a random gutter) said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:03

    “if only xx could have stayed healthy”

    Reading this, it ocurred to me that I have seen X rated movies and I have seen XXX rated movies, but I have never ever seen a XX rated movie. Where are they hiding all the XX rated movies?

  668. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:08

    Wikipedia:

    Because the X rating was not trademarked, anybody could apply it to their films, including pornographers, which many began to do in the 1970s. As pornography began to become chic and more legally tolerated, pornographers placed an X rating on their films to emphasize the adult nature of them. Some even started using multiple X’s (i.e. XX, XXX, etc.) to give the impression that their film contained more graphic sexual content than the simple X rating. In some cases, the X ratings were applied by reviewers or film scholars, e.g. William Rotsler, who wrote “The XXX-rating means hard-core, the XX-rating is for simulation, and an X-rating is for comparatively cool films.”[3] Nothing beyond the simple X-rating has ever been officially recognized by the MPAA.

    So: I guess they’re hiding the XX movies on cable.

  669. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:09

    And Sajak is a total rightwing asshat.

    Any man who would charge people for vowels is not progressive.

  670. Thread Bear said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:11

    Any man who would charge people for vowels is not progressive.

    Real progressives just disemvowel and then walk away.

  671. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:13

    If the European powers had supplied cheaper vowels the Middle East wouldn’t be where it is today.

  672. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:23

    If vowels are free, what would be the incentive to guess the consonants?

  673. Anonymous said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:23

    Gingrich is a big fake. During the anthem he put his hand on his chest.

  674. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:36

    It’s been ages since I’ve seen one of those soft core movies on the premium channels. Do they still make them?

  675. rodert rudis said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:37

    Thanks for the Beverly Cleary ref BBBB. We have some children’s books that we’ve read several times each. These look great.

  676. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:38

    ‘XXX’ makes a lot more sense when you restore the missing vowels.

  677. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:43

    Xanax excites!

  678. Thread Bear said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:46

    Thanks for the Beverly Cleary ref BBBB. We have some children’s books that we’ve read several times each. These look great.

    The next great children’s author.

  679. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:47

    We knew it all along: http://www.livescience.com/18132-intelligence-social-conservatism-racism.html

  680. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:50

    Hodson was quick to note that the despite the link found between low intelligence and social conservatism, the researchers aren’t implying that all liberals are brilliant and all conservatives stupid. The research is a study of averages over large groups, he said.

  681. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 3:56

    “address my envelope, lips!” is really D-KW!

    After a week of vomiting and/or wanting to vomit 24/7, this made me laugh. Weakly, but sincerely.

    vs: Manly mansplainers manfully mansplainin’ away their total denial that class and income level could have ANYTHING to do with race, nuh-uh! It’s the same old song, and it’s sad and it’s long, and when they reach the end…

    With a sigh condescending, they re-phrase the ending, and start all over again.

  682. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:10

    It’s been ages since I’ve seen one of those soft core movies on the premium channels. Do they still make them?

    On the Showtime schedule for tonight and tomorrow night: “Sexy Assassins,” “Sex Games Can.” and “Alien Sex Files 3: Sex Wars.” So I’d say yeah.

    (What’s the “Can.” mean? Canadian? Do they wear Mountie costumes and lick maple syrup off each other?)

  683. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:12

    Substance is gonna bust in with a link any minute now, I can just feel it. You said too many magic words, Bitter Scribe.

  684. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:14

    Maybe the Sexy Games Can Is a big can where people write sexytime activities on a sheet of paper, the fold them up and put them in the can…and then people take them out, and you HAVE to do what’s written. Or the Sexy Assassins will kill you…with sexiness!

  685. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:16

    ” “Sex Games Can”….What’s the “Can.” mean?

    They left out the “i” – it’s a Hermanator biopic.

  686. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:16

    69-69-69!

  687. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:19

    69-69-69!

    Not my idea of a pin-up, but to each his/her something or other.

  688. Thread Bear said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:24

    Heh, I just figured it out:

    666 = gay threesome.

  689. tigris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:34

    Do they wear Mountie costumes and lick maple syrup off each other?

    It’s all about tapping the sugar bush.

  690. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:39

    It’s all about tapping the sugar bush.

    Sounds scratchy. Bring unguent.

  691. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:40

    Bring unguent.

    I hear honey is a good wound treatment…

  692. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:42

    forgot to add:

    They’re working wonders with topical creams these days.

  693. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:45

    topical creams

    Romney meringue? Newt fluffernutter?

  694. steerpike said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:50

    just chuck that macbook in a big old bag of (uncooked) rice

    I’ve been mulling that over all afternoon, picturing the frantic helpdesk call and/or hilarious lawsuit that would result if the “(uncooked)” part of that had been left out…

  695. Pupienus and I mean Maximus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:50


    The next great children’s author.

    Sendak is a FAG! A glorious, curmudgeonly fag.

  696. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 4:51

    Newt fluffernutter?

    Any fluffer working for Newt does have to be a nutter, after all

    *ba-dum ching!*

  697. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:00

    Chinging the ba-dum.

  698. Pupienus and I mean Maximus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:08

    Love the way they’re flogging each other with Reagan’s corpse.

  699. Pupienus and I mean Maximus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:10

    I did enjoy the cat fight between Rmoney and Newticles. Rowwwr, girls.

  700. Pupienus and I mean Maximus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:13

    Rmoney is talking about the world’s worst actors. WTF do Keanu Reeves and Owen Wilson have to do with this shit?!?!?!!

  701. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:13

    Bring unguent.

    Who ordered the wildebeest?

  702. Pupienus and I mean Maximus said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:16

    Wildebeest hot, wildebeest cold,
    Wildebeest be covered in mold?

  703. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:21

    Fascinating & Vital Info: For little stuff I have a tiny-yet-mighty widget called ClipCube, set to save all my cuntpasta for a week … for everything else, a 500GB external HD that automatically backs up whatever else I save. It’s been ages since I’ve had any crash issues, buuuuut … better safe than sad says I.

    Erick son of Erick is full of despair

    Commenters are full of historical knowledge:
    “Solyndra out-does Teapot Dome by several thousand times”

    WAT

    Also, libtards are insane!
    “you can present facts but it doesnt matter to liberals they have a reset button to their brains that just doesnt work”

    Work, damn you, liberals’ reset button! WHY WON’T YOUR RESET BUTTON WORK? Mine works GREAT!

    “I think Newt would do well even in a strong field. He has such an impressive national record, has such bold policy proposals, and is so knowledgable and articulate that he could compete with anyone.”

    Gotta admit – having your own party boot you on 80-plus ethics charges? That is some awfully impressive shit right there. “Rethinking the First Amendment” is nothing if not bold, in a Kang-over-Kodos kind of way. As for articulate, uh, well … okay, he may not actually SAY anything, but wow, he talks real purty! Big words = smart — heck, everyone knows THAT.

    “Draft Daniels: Let The Healing Begin”

    Because I’m sure Amerika will be DELIGHTED to elect the guy that chose to fight two wars on credit while cutting taxes. Econogeddon 2.0, here we come!

    Poor wingnuts are majorly losing their shit & they haven’t even chosen their slate yet.

    tl;dr = I CAME.

  704. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:25

    Who ordered the wildebeest?

    I said “rare and no mayo” damn it.

  705. Thread Bear said,

    January 27, 2012 at 5:42

    WTF do Keanu Reeves and Owen Wilson have to do with this shit?!?!?!!

    I am working this evening and not watching the debatcle so now I’m really confused. What subject was Romney even talking about when he brought up Reeves and Wilson?

  706. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 6:13

    Hole. E. SCHIT.

  707. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 6:18

    From S.cervisiae’s link:

    there is reason to believe that strict right-wing ideology might appeal to those who have trouble grasping the complexity of the world.

    SHOCKING!

    In other news, astronomers suspect that despite the current darkness dominating our skies, a large firy ball may appear on the horizon sometime in the next 12 hours.

    DO NOT PANIC.

  708. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 27, 2012 at 6:33

    It’s uh… short for Cancun. Sex Games Cancun. Usually on Cinemax, not Showtime.

    What? Don’t judge me.

  709. Oregon Beer Snob's phancy phone said,

    January 27, 2012 at 7:03

    From Jim’s awesome link, there’s going to be a new python-ish scifi movie and there will be a dog named Dennis. Holy shit indeed!

  710. Oregon Beer Snob's phancy phone said,

    January 27, 2012 at 7:06

    ame,l:

    Glad I could offer a non-pukey chuckle.

    Offering a chuckle.

  711. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 7:11

    I am the No Life Whatsoever Link Jedi.

    “The Farce is strong with this one.”

  712. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 7:59

    710. To Infinity and Beyond!

  713. Whale Chowder said,

    January 27, 2012 at 8:19

    …they could’ve gotten the same result safer, simpler and cheaper by simply picking a bum off a street bench, bankrolling his campaign and having him beholden to them that way.

    Or as we call it, “Perry.”

  714. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 8:44

    just chuck that macbook in a big old bag of (uncooked) rice

    Condoleeza repairs computers?

  715. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 9:20

    OBS: Thanx muchly for all three ‘John Henry’ links. [23:08] … especially Mississippi Fred. Electric bottleneck Roolz.

  716. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 9:32

    It’s dark out and I’m tired. Must be time to go to work.

  717. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 10:29

    Nymstradamus said,
    January 27, 2012 at 0:36

    Get ready for some fresh neo-conservative butthurt:

    Pentagon to shrink US ground troops by 100,000 as part of $487bn cuts

    Thanks for the link, Nymstrad. $487 billion in defense cuts is trivial. In my opinion, cuts in DoD spending need to go much deeper….and much wider than ground forces.

    ((Sadly Overlords: Such a neo-con screed, garnished with wingnuttiness, might make a good Topic sometime….))

  718. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 11:27

    Ding dong dilly, loony libs! The Coach is Cool, and he’s serving up a spread of Newtonian Dynamics. Badoodle boo-ya! Urban out.

    And Conseromentum 2012!

    Well played, sir. Like steak, I prefer parody well done.

  719. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28

    Conservomentum.

  720. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 11:45

    Had conniptions reading these. Rollercoaster wit:

    And Sajak is a total rightwing asshat.

    Any man who would charge people for vowels is not progressive. — N_B

    Real progressives just disemvowel and then walk away. — Thread Bear

    If the European powers had supplied cheaper vowels the Middle East wouldn’t be where it is today. — Sub

    If vowels are free, what would be the incentive to guess the consonants? — tsam

  721. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2012 at 12:40

    After a week of vomiting and/or wanting to vomit 24/7

    Envelope: Is this an influena thing? (I’ve heard there’s some nasty flu abroad this year; friends in DC were sticken into bed and felt miserable for days.) Anyway, whatever you’ve been suffering from, I hope it ends pronto.

  722. Fenwick the Ruthless, Destroyer of Threads said,

    January 27, 2012 at 12:54

    My work here is done.

  723. steerpike said,

    January 27, 2012 at 14:34

    Side note: When playing Scrabble with my wife, we have added a feature called the “Serbo-Hawaiian peace treaty”. Wherein, when one player is stuck with the “Serbian alphabet” (no vowels), and the other has the “Hawaiian alphabet” (no consonants, or almost none), the two players can agree to exchange three tiles between the two, allowing play to continue. Diplomacy is a wonderful thing.

  724. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 27, 2012 at 15:06

    “Serbo-Hawaiian peace treaty”

    It is shit like this that have helped me to keep my occasional thoughts of murderous rampage
    . and suicidal urges at bay

  725. steerpike said,

    January 27, 2012 at 15:17

    Join the Vowel Movement!

  726. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 15:31

    RIP Epstein.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/sfl-robert-hegyes-obit-0127,0,3998004.story

  727. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 15:32

    Join the Vowel Movement!

    Rght aftr ths cp f cff

  728. mark f said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:08

    Shorter Verbatim Jonah Goldberg:

    [Barack Obama] said of the military: “At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, they exceed all expectations. They’re not consumed with personal ambition. They don’t obsess over their differences. They focus on the mission at hand. They work together. Imagine what we could accomplish if we followed their example. Think about the America within our reach.”

    That is disgusting.

  729. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:32

    Thats a hoot. Went mango browsing only to find that Obammy’s not a Spartan, he’s a bloody Prussian!

  730. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:36

    y’all are some sleepy ass commenters.

  731. tigris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:46

    Jesus, Goldberg is either so incredibly dense he has an event horizon from which no thought escapes or oh, wait, there is no or.

  732. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:47

    Usually on Cinemax, not Showtime.

    My bad. My aging eyes read the teeny-tiny type in the TV guide wrong.

  733. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:47

    @mark f

    Who is that fat bitch calling disgusting?

  734. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:50

    This tastes like poison in my mouth to admit. But in that column Jonah is not entirely wrong. He says that idolizing the military are not what make America great — this is correct, an ideal free America values dissent and learns from both sides of a debate to choose the solution with the most benefit to the most people, while still respecting the environment and all concerned parties. That is also the ideal America that Jonah Goldberg has spent his entire life trying to stop.

  735. mark f said,

    January 27, 2012 at 17:54

    I liked the commenter at Golderg’s who couldn’t decide if Obama was worse than Bush. Bush cause a lot of innocent people to be blown up, but Obama sometimes talks about the Navy SEALS. It’s a tough one!

  736. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:00

    But Obama’s point was not about idolizing the military, it was about borrowing from the military model of cooperation.

    Maybe it’s something only military people/families get…so I’m sure a chickenhawk like Jonah doesn’t get it. But the military is made up of a broad cross-section of people. Blacks, whites, men, women, liberals, conservatives, you name it. Thing is, a good percent of them put that shit aside and just do their fucking jobs and do them competently. That’s what Obama was talking about. Hardly disgusting.

  737. mark f said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:01

    I agree that Jonah’s not entirely wrong. More like 90%. Military pageantry bothers me, too, and he did spell the president’s name correctly. However, Obama’s appeal to common purpose and use of martial imagery is neither unique nor particularly troubling. Jonah’s just trying to shoehorn another idiotic example into his liberal fascism thesis, and again he de-emphasizes actual militarism to tout the dangers of the “moral equivalent of war.”

  738. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:02

    BTW, since when was the military not the most super-duper, awesome to the power of 300, better than kittens in teacups thing in the world? When Obama started praising them?

  739. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:15

    BTW, since when was the military not the most super-duper, awesome to the power of 300, better than kittens in teacups thing in the world?

    When the uniforms evolved past capes and loincloths. The repubs are traditionalists.

  740. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:18

    When the uniforms evolved past capes and loincloths. The repubs are traditionalists.

    These traditionalists sound kinda gay to me.

  741. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:22

    These traditionalists sound kinda gay to me.

    This IS SPARTA!

  742. mark f said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:28

    Moar Jonah:

    Meanwhile, only a fool looks at the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and says “America: It’s all about the teamwork.”

    Hmm.

    for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

    We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

  743. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:36

    There’s no “US” in team.

  744. tigris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:41

    But Obama’s point was not about idolizing the military, it was about borrowing from the military model of cooperation.

    Exactly. Plus, Jonah’s group is the one that idolizes militarism and the military(from a distance, natch), hence all the “support the troops”(i.e. don’t question Republican leaders/ideology) and “what soldiers think about Obama etc is super important, etc” bullshit.

  745. Whale Chowder said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:47

    Bush cause a lot of innocent people to be blown up, but Obama sometimes talks about the Navy SEALS. It’s a tough one!

    Obama hasn’t done too bad (!) at the blowing people up part, either.

    Put into the context of the times, where the Republicans in Congress have set themselves as roadblocks to any progress in the Obama agenda whether it’s good for the country or not, Obama’s message about putting selfishness aside for the common good is pretty clear. I think it resonates with (something over half of) the country, too.

  746. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:49

    Rather than the jump drive spend the money and get something like this. Then turn on Time Machine. Saves thinking about it.

    sub, i like the cut of your jib! we do have time machine and have had to use it before…i did not know there is some sort of auto back up device…kewl!

    also, hubbkf took the hard drive out last night…does not spin whatsoever…yipes…

    new year’s resolution: back the fuck up!

  747. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 18:51

    Rule # 1: Data you have only one copy of is data you don’t care about.

    are you just wanting to get junkpunched?!?!?

  748. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:00

    Sendak is a FAG! A glorious, curmudgeonly fag.

    he is my new all time, hands down favorite person…watching him on colbert was truly delightful and gratifying…he had me from ‘gingrich is gross and vile’…

  749. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:06

    In Germany, Charlemagne is referred to as Karl der Grosse. (literally, Charles the great) Gingrich, history perfesser that he be pretends to be, knows this. When he is described as gross, this is what he imagines people mean, rather than swollen, fat and disgusting.

  750. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:11

    In Germany, Charlemagne is referred to as Karl der Grosse. (literally, Charles the great) Gingrich, history perfesser that he be pretends to be, knows this. When he is described as gross, this is what he imagines people mean, rather than swollen, fat and disgusting.

    ahhhh…excellent interpretation…although, in high school, i played charlemagne’s wife in pippin and the d00d who played chuck was a major hottie, so it makes me feel icky to think of newt comparing himself to charlemagne in any way…

  751. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:12

    Related

  752. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:25

    hmmm…vs, it appears that i have not commented at your site since i have become a blogger…i refuse to accept anything in moderation!

  753. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:33

    Moderation is for chumps! Yer good to go now. ;)

  754. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:36

    Moderation in all things – including moderation.

  755. El Manquecito said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:40

    Came across this for Cerb:
    And all conspired a bane to mortal men,
    To bring this devil out of that black den,
    Jupiter’s thunderbolt, nor storm at sea,
    Nor whirl-wind,doth our hearts so much dismay.
    What? Am I bit by that fierce Cerberus?
    Or stung by serpent so pestiferous?
    Or put on shirt that’s dipt in Nessus’ blood?
    My pain’s past cure; Physick can do no good.

  756. Pryme said,

    January 27, 2012 at 19:41

    Mention Paul, get attacked by “Ronulans:” http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/01/ron-paul-supporting-former-ron-paul-secretary-he-knew-all-about-those-newsletters.php?ref=fpb

  757. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:15

    Obama hasn’t done too bad (!) at the blowing people up part, either.

    I especially like how it’s gotten to the point where instead of just doing these operations (which we have always done) and shutting the fuck up about it, now we go on TV and claim responsibility for it.

    I seem to remember that some other group of people does this frequently…the term escapes me at the mom…

    OH I KNOW-TERRORISTS

  758. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:15

    That Ron Paul news is so excellent for the “but he didn’t know anything about that thing with his name on it!” crowd.

  759. Chris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:19

    At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, they exceed all expectations.

    Well, if by “institutions” you mean “other government agencies,” it’s a lot easier to exceed expectations when you’re the only government department with full bipartisan support, and a budget with the magnitude of theirs. Give the EPA like, one-tenth of that and they’ll blow you out of the water too.

    Not to diss the military, but still.

    Meanwhile, only a fool looks at the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and says “America: It’s all about the teamwork.”

    Apparently, he literally believes that George Washington, having written and signed those two documents single-handed, proceeded to pull a Rambo and exterminate the entire British Army single-handed. There was no Continental Congress, no Continental Army, nothing that could be construed as a “team” needed to create the U.S. of A. George may’ve had to call in Mel Gibson from time to time to lend him a hand, but that’s as far as it went.

  760. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:20

    “but he didn’t know anything about that thing with his name on it!”

    “He’s not a racist, he’s just incompetent!” isn’t exactly singing praise either.

  761. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:22

    are you just wanting to get junkpunched?!?!?

    Are you offering?

  762. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:25

    uniforms evolved past capes and loincloths

    AH, but these uniforms can still be obtained. A friend of mine has a whole closet full of them. Literal closet, not the figurative kind. I think. The friend rarely comes out of his apartment which is totally not in Spokane.

  763. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:26

    “He’s not a racist, he’s just incompetent!” isn’t exactly singing praise either.

    WAIT–don’t forget he’s a Republican. Incompetence is a requisite for compliance. Therefore incompetence is a core competency for Republicans.

    /logic triumph.

  764. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:27

    OBS: Thanx muchly for all three ‘John Henry’ links. [23:08] … especially Mississippi Fred. Electric bottleneck Roolz.

    You’re very welcome. I love Mississippi Fred.

    And if you like bottleneck guitar, you’ll probably like this more modern John Henry version. Great harp player too. Man, I need to get out and play more…

  765. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:27

    Pig Newton: Gross grossperson.

  766. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:31

    Usually on Cinemax, not Showtime.

    Showtime has a nice collection of softcore as well. Also, if you have Comcast, Xfinity On Demand has a whole section of adult movies. Mass movies; No waiting. They’re free if you have Showtime.

  767. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:32

    Are you offering?

    always…

    Pig Newton: Gross grossperson.

    +1

    although i may now never eat those cookies again…

  768. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:33

    Mass movies; No waiting. They’re free if you have Showtime.

    wow, you must have read the fine print of your cable contract very thoroughly!

  769. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:33

    Showtime has a nice collection of softcore as well. Also, if you have Comcast, Xfinity On Demand has a whole section of adult movies. Mass movies; No waiting. They’re free if you have Showtime.

    People still watch pron on TV? Have they not heard of redtube?

  770. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:36

    This is pretty cool:

    Retro Posters of Modern Movies

  771. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:37

    If your tube is red you’re pulling too hard.

  772. smedley said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:38

    “Pig Newton”

    Hmmm. You know, after Gingrich fades into oblivion, you might still be onto something. If you stick bacon in there in place of the figs, I’d buy that for a dollar.

  773. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:40

    Don’t we have to go to the the experts on porn questions?

  774. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:41

    If you stick bacon in there in place of the figs, I’d buy that for a dollar.

    1. Wrap a fresh fig with bacon
    2. Secure with toothpicks
    3. Grill

    For extra awesomeness stuff the fig with goat cheese first and then drizzle with good balsamic vinegar after grilling.

  775. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:45

    1. Wrap a fresh fig with bacon
    2. Secure with toothpicks
    3. Grill

    hubbkf does this with pieces of pheasant breast instead of figs…i never thought to stuff them first, which would be totes awesome…i may try it with figs tho…

  776. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:45

    stuffing the fig…

  777. smedley said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:46

    “Retro Posters of Modern Movies”

    Dang. Shatner STILL gets the blue women.

  778. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:46

    wow, you must have read the fine print of your cable contract very thoroughly!

    Oddly enough, I have a friend who engages in all manner of hedonistic and self-destructive behavior. He tells me all sorts of stories about it.

    United States of Tsam.

  779. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:47

    hubbkf does this with pieces of pheasant breast instead of figs

    Tell him to try Cordon Bleu with pheasant. DROOOOOOL….

  780. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:49

    Nimoy in Diehard! W00t!

  781. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:51

    Tell him to try Cordon Bleu with pheasant. DROOOOOOL….

    oooh…good thought…we are always looking for new and exciting things to do with pheasant meat* i’ve made a bunch of stock and froze it with pieces of diced meat in it for using in pot pies, chow mein and soups, but there is still a shit ton of pheasants in our freezer…

  782. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 20:55

    Last night I made blue cheese-stuffed burgers with mixed baby greens and balsamic vinegar drizzled on top.

    O
    M
    F
    G

  783. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:03

    Last night I made blue cheese-stuffed burgers with mixed baby

    THIS is why the Oklahoma lege had to outlaw the use of fetuses in food.

  784. tigris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:05

    Meanwhile, only a fool looks at the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and says “America: It’s all about the teamwork.”

    Jesus, they put “E Pluribus Unum” on the seal in 1782. It was first suggested as a motto in 1776. There’s no ME ME ME in “perfect union,” asshole. I mean HOLY FUCK the second damn word in the Declaration is “unanimous,” and what the fuck do you think “Congress” means?

  785. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:06

    But Soylent Baby is sooooooooooo delicious.

    It’s called “umami,” N_B. you wouldn’t understand.

  786. smedley said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:07

    This thread is making me hungry. And it’s hours to go before I eat.

  787. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:13

    It’s called “umami,” N_B. you wouldn’t understand.

    I understand perfectly, but in my part of the world it’s spelled “Yo mama.”

  788. vacuumslayer said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:17

    smedley is hungry for babies. Got it.

  789. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:17

    Last night I made blue cheese-stuffed burgers with mixed baby

    THIS is why the Oklahoma lege had to outlaw the use of fetuses in food.

    I eat nothing but purebred white babies on my burgers.

  790. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:19

    I eat nothing but purebred white babies on my burgers.

    Veal!

  791. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:20

    That was supposed to be from “Racist Food Snob,” but my idiot brain and shitty internet connection are conspiring to ruin all my jokes today.

  792. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:22

    “Congress”

    SEX SEX SEX

  793. smedley said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:24

    “smedley is hungry for babies. Got it.”

    Abortion is such a waste.

  794. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:24

    People still watch pron on TV? Have they not heard of redtube?

    I don’t quite get it. I watch it on my phone and the internet when I want to. TV porn is old school.

  795. smedley said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:25

    Also, I have indeed had kid. Cabrito es muy delicioso.

  796. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:29

    Also, I have indeed had kid.

    Maresy doates
    And doesy doates
    And little Smedly kiddies.

  797. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:29

    Abortion is such a waste.

    ooooh!

    1. gazillions of ghey abortions every year
    2. starving third world countries
    3. invisible yet glorious hand of the market
    4. ???
    5. PROFIT!!!

  798. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:30

    TV porn is old school.

    tsam is a pron hipster.

  799. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:37

    smedley is hungry for babies.

    Baby – the other white meat.

  800. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:40

    tsam is a pron hipster.

    tsam is Sasha Grey?!

  801. smedley said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:40

    Doe…….check.
    Mare……no.

    (to the best of my knowledge)

  802. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:43

    OK, I just looked up Sasha Grey. Born in ’88. I suddenly feel very, very old. But then why shouldn’t I? Most porn actresses are half my age. Duh.

  803. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:46

    According to the always accurate and completely unbiased Washington Times (safe media matters link) Obama “has declared war on the Catholic Church and religious liberty.”

    Why was I not notified of this sooner? Where do I enlist? I am so excited to finally force-convert everybody to Pastafarianism!

  804. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:46

    Yeah, she’s younger than my youngest brother. That’s a bit of a mindfuck.

  805. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:49

    why am i torturing myself by listening to a replay of teh debatcle?

  806. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:49

    Verbatim Jonah Goldberg:

    Succumbing to a spasm of ambient after-work bastardry, I left him this:

    “Obama’s Vision for a Spartan America”?

    Let us know when Obama mandates oligarchy, infanticide & slavery.

    I’ve found no dearth of hilarity of late in seeing shock, terror & outrage over the NDAA from exactly the same people who exulted over the passage of Patriot Acts I & II, as well as the draconian Military Commissions Act.

    If you’re innocent, NOW you suddenly have something to fear.

    If you’re going to argue with a straight face that a long-winded rhetorical boilerplate rehash of “Ask not what you can do with your country …” is not only worse than “This job would be a lot easier if it was a dictatorship – as long as I get to be the dictator,” but MUCH worse, saying so as earnestly as you can while name-dropping people like Dewey & Vercingetorix isn’t going to cut the mustard. In fact, I’m not sure anything else would cut it either, because it just doesn’t parse. Both Bushes, like Joe Biden, are legendary for the sheer breathtaking scope & number of their gaffes. President Obama chooses his words more like a Jesuit than a lawyer.

    To me, your splenetic railing at Obama’s idealism is awfully … well … un-American.
    Perhaps the motto “E Pluribus Unum” rings a bell?

    Marching as one? That was how you helped Europe & Asia defeat fascism.
    Working as a team? That got you onto the moon.

    The real reasons for America’s global alpha-dog status are well-known: it was able to enjoy the luxury of vast oceans between it & the empires who wanted it as their colony, so that it could safely enjoy & exploit the advantages of its titanic natural resources. Meanwhile, its rivals (lacking any such peaceful isolation) repeatedly tore each others guts out in long devastating wars of attrition.

    With appy polly loggys for the MIA apostrophe.
    Snark as she is spat.
    It’s a mite snippy & cold at the end, but, eh.
    SELAH.

  807. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:54

    Yeah, she’s younger than my youngest brother. That’s a bit of a mindfuck.

    Congrats – you’ve named the one sex act she hasn’t performed.

  808. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:57

    ewwww!!! newt has grandchildren?!?

    also, too…jim i don’t think it is nearly snippy and cold enough, but again…well done, sir!

  809. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 21:59

    Congrats – you’ve named the one sex act she hasn’t performed

    lack of necessary equipment?

  810. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:01

    YOW!

    Whoa … I just felt a huge disturbance in Teh Farce, unlike anything I’d ever imagined … as if … as if many many millions of Evangelicals had just POOPED THEIR PANTS.

  811. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:01

    What’s tribadism only with heads?

  812. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:03

    GOD IS A SCIENTIST!!!!!!

  813. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:04

    as if many many millions of Evangelicals had just POOPED THEIR PANTS.

    I, for one, will welcome our new blobby-metal-ish overlords.

  814. vacuumslayer puts a bird on it! said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:07

    I, for one, will welcome our new blobby-metal-ish overlords.

    Especially this guy.

  815. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:08

    tsam is a pron hipster.

    Afficionado, dammit!

  816. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:09

    Furthermore, he is currently embarked on a seven-month experiment to see if iCHELLs placed in different environments will evolve.

    we just replaced the tea party with ichells…let’s see if anybody notices!

  817. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:09

    and what the fuck do you think “Congress” means?

    Big fun sexytime!

  818. Pryme said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:10

    Congrats – you’ve named the one sex act she hasn’t performed.

    Umm, we’re talking about Sasha here people. She may not look the type, but she’s very…naughty.

  819. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:10

    Congrats – you’ve named the one sex act she hasn’t performed.

    Oooh, what do I win?

  820. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:14

    Oooh, what do I win?

    best not to ask these questions round these parts/yikes

  821. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:15

    Oooh, what do I win?

    Sex act of your choice.

    OT: I”m fascinated with Sasha because she does not have the standard issue grotesquely large plastic boobies. She’s a bit of a change of pace for a dude like me.

  822. kg said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:17

    TMI called they want their I back.

  823. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:18

    jim tries laying down a big picture history lesson on the wingnuts. LOL!

    Wingnut history: In 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

    Also America and Jesus and Ted Nugent 4EVAR!

  824. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:19

    I’m fascinated with Sasha because she seems to be pinkish-beige and not gray.

  825. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:19

    best not to ask these questions round these parts/yikes

    T&U is hardcore. She prefers to stomp right on the landmines rather than walk around.

  826. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:20

    I’m fascinated with Sasha because she seems to be pinkish-beige and not gray.

    Gandalf does not approve.

  827. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:23

    tsam, a friend told me* fake boobs are “out” in pron today, especially alt pron. I think bleached assholes are still a thing, but at least that’s less invasive.

    *What?

  828. jim said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:24

    I’ll try anything thrice. More if it is satisfying.

  829. N__B said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:26

    bleached assholes

    Are we talking about Arizona again?

  830. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:26

    T&U is hardcore. She prefers to stomp right on the landmines rather than walk around.

    Right. How the fuck you think I got this cankle, anyway?

  831. tigris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:30

    bleached assholes

    Are we talking about Arizona again?

    Callista, duh.

  832. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:33

    Also America and Jesus and Ted Nugent 4EVAR!

    You left out Chuck Norris! You aren’t a real ‘merkin, get out now traitor!

  833. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:50

    In 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue

    In 1493, Columbus stole all that he could see.

  834. tsam said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:53

    tsam, a friend told me* fake boobs are “out” in pron today, especially alt pron. I think bleached assholes are still a thing, but at least that’s less invasive.

    WHO’S THE HIPSTER NOW?

  835. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 22:53

    Even more remarkable, Cronin has hinted that the metal-based cells may be replicating themselves and evolving.

    Ruh roh.

  836. Chris said,

    January 27, 2012 at 23:03

    The real reasons for America’s global alpha-dog status are well-known: it was able to enjoy the luxury of vast oceans between it & the empires who wanted it as their colony, so that it could safely enjoy & exploit the advantages of its titanic natural resources. Meanwhile, its rivals (lacking any such peaceful isolation) repeatedly tore each others guts out in long devastating wars of attrition.

    This explains the British as well. And it explains not only the superpower status, but also the long-term stability in these countries – amazing what being sheltered from regular, ceaseless invasions will do for your country, and how much easier it is for stable political systems to develop as a result.

    It routinely amazes me how few people get this. Instead, we get ludicrous foundational myths about American Exceptionalism, Rugged Individualism and Shining Cities On Hills.

  837. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2012 at 23:13

    Even more remarkable, Cronin has hinted that the metal-based cells may be replicating themselves and evolving.

    The source turns out to be New Scientist, alas, a magazine that long ago abandoned any notion that headlines need to be supported by content, and becomes more like the Daily Mail with every issue

  838. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2012 at 23:17

    The source turns out to be New Scientist, alas, a magazine that long ago abandoned any notion that headlines need to be supported by content, and becomes more like the Daily Mail with every issue

    Sigh. So much for my invincible army of cylondalekcyberterminators.

  839. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    January 27, 2012 at 23:29

    If your tube is red you’re pulling too hard.

    I hear they call that one a “Rusty Venture”
    .

  840. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 28, 2012 at 0:39

    The thing I enjoy about TV porn is that it’s kind of the last great hurrah for porn plots. You just don’t get narrative and characters in the internet porn anymore, aside from maybe Brazzers.

  841. address my envelope, lips! said,

    January 30, 2012 at 4:01

    Deeply late, but Fenwick, thanks. I don’t know what the fuck this thing is, only it’s lasted two weeks, and I am finally over the worst of it. I had my flu shot this year, so I don’t think it’s that.

  842. Patty Brau said,

    February 10, 2012 at 0:15

    Basically… I have been swayed by the monetary doomsayers concerning the market. Has anybody discovered a glimmer of optimism in this “dip”?

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()