Jan
10

Yoo Finally Discovers A Limit To Presidential Powers




Posted at 21:56 by Tintin


ABOVE: The DoubleChin Twins: Kim Jong Un and John Yoo

Shorter John Yoo, America’s Shittiest Website
Richard Cordray & the Use and Abuse of Executive Power

    • Although I have argued that Republican presidents have the power to crush children’s testicles in the name of national security, I am offended at Obama’s abuse of power when he chose to ignore a procedural trick implemented by the Republicans to prevent recess appointments.

  • ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

    185 Comments »

    1. Bubba said,

      January 10, 2012 at 21:57

      At least John Yoo is able to publish in the most widely respected venues.

    2. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:04

      Yoo can’t hurry love.
      ~

    3. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:09

      Be proud, Berkeley!
      ~

    4. Interrobang said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:10

      Holy crap, another Republican with no neck. Lemme guess, the aliens who built the Republicans from parts had to remove their necks when they removed their hearts and consciences.

    5. paleotectonics said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:13

      Necks ISREAL.

    6. paleotectonics said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:14

      Same aliens built giraffes and ran out of spares.

    7. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:15

      The necks are worth a lot of money quatloos back on the home planet.
      ~

    8. paleotectonics said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:17

      Any private party can challenge this nomination by refusing to obey any regulation issued by the agency as the act of an unconstitutional officer.

      Ahh, the famously successful Taitz maneuver. Did they share a law school? It would be irresponsible and such and such and such.

    9. Bitter Scribe said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:21

      Check out the comments over there. Yoo is really getting trashed. Is that liberal trolling, or is there genuine revulsion among conservatives for the flotsam of the Dubya era?

    10. Pupienus said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:22

      Good to sea that our own jim’s excellent comment is right at the top. Also interesting to note the meager amount of Yoo love.

    11. Pupienus said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:23

      Great minds, Scribe, great minds.

    12. Substance McGravitas said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:24

      Even with my broad view of executive power, I’ve always thought that each branch has control over its own functions and has the right — if not the duty — to exclude the others as best it can from its own decisions.

      The Senate is just doing its thing and not paying any attention to what the executive branch is doing.

    13. mmy said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:29

      Recess appointments are worse than torture?

      Oh, fuck Yoo!

      FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    14. Comrade Rutherford said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:31

      Please fix:

      Although I have argued that Republican presidents have the power to torture children by crushing their testicles in the name of national security, I am offended at Obama’s abuse of power when he chose to utilize a well-worn Republican trick to ignore a different procedural trick that is also implemented by the Republicans to prevent recess appointments.

    15. tigris said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:33

      each branch has control over its own functions and has the right — if not the duty — to exclude the others as best it can from its own decisions

      ESPECIALLY the advise and consent functions.

    16. Comrade Rutherford said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:33

      John Yoo: Kim Jong Un approves!

    17. Thread Bear said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:52

      The proof is in the picture! Yoo looks just like an enemy combatant/terrorist to me. Quick, someone ship him off to Gitmo and crush his balls!!!

    18. fish said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:53

      I’ve always thought that each branch has control over its own functions

      I don’t think Lugar has had control over his functions for years.

    19. El Manquécito said,

      January 10, 2012 at 22:57

      I don’t think Lugar has had control over his functions for years.

      I’m OK on binomials still but I’m starting to have trouble with the higher orders.

    20. S. cerevisiae said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:02

      Yoo needs a bowler hat that can decapitate a statue.

    21. Whale Chowder said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:03

      I’m OK on binomials

      Me too although I don’t think they have the right to get married.

    22. fish said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:08

      WCFTW

    23. smedley said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:10

      I don’t believe in binomials. They must make a choice.

    24. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:16

      Next thing you know irrational numbers will be hooking up and having sexy time in the streets.
      ~

    25. tigris said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:17

      I like pi.

    26. kg said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:19

      yes, but waxed or not?

    27. DAS said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:21

      irrational numbers ISRAEL

      The square root of -1, OTOH …

      Meanwhile, I think I know why Yoo is against recess appointments: he doesn’t want to have an appointment during recess as it will interfere with the time he gets to spend outside during recess, having fun — playing tetherball, digging in the sandbox, enjoying the show as the bullies torture the nerds …

    28. Major Kong said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:22

      Fuck John Yoo with a nitro-burning, fuel-injected, hemi-powered chainsaw.

      Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

    29. Major Kong said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:29

      This is kind of what I had in mind:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Tamp2fHhg

    30. jim said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:31

      jim’s excellent comment is right at the top.

      FEELS GOOD MAN

    31. kg said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:34

      Feels good!

      http://www.davidcogswell.com/MediaRoulette/HighKilling.html

    32. Bitter Scribe said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:37

      I don’t like those elitist prime numbers that think they’re better than the rest of us.

    33. Fenwick, who never ever, ever gets out of the boat said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:40

      Check out the comments over there. Yoo is really getting trashed.

      Good to see that our own jim’s excellent comment is right at the top. Also interesting to note the meager amount of Yoo love.

      Actually got out of the boat just to read the comments. Yoo is getting lashed … and Jim wields quite a cat-o-nine-tails.

      Must sorta piss off the Shittiest Website.

    34. Whale Chowder said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:42

      Next thing you know irrational numbers will be hooking up and having sexy time in the streets.

      I’m worried about the binomial-on-quadrilateral action. Where’s the consent?

    35. tensor said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:42

      Shorter John “I will torture” Yoo, America’s Shittiest Lawyer:

      “Restrictions on Executive Power will remain in force so long as the President insists upon being a Democrat.”

    36. Spearhafoc, who has missed Sadly, No! during his absence said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:42

      In the immortal words of Tennessee Williams,

      “One of those no-neck monsters hit me with some ice cream. Their fat little heads sit on their fat little bodies without a bit of connection…you can’t wring their necks if they got no necks to wring.”

    37. tensor said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:46

      Next thing you know irrational numbers will be hooking up and having sexy time in the streets.

      Worse yet, unlike the rational numbers, the irrationals never agree to be on top or bottom!

    38. Fenwick, who never ever, ever gets out of the boat said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:46

      That was some monster chainsaw, Major. America hasn’t lost its edge for amazing invention of bizarre and mostly useless things. U-S-A ! U-S-A !

    39. Fenwick, who never ever, ever gets out of the boat said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:49

      My denominator is uncommon. Or so I’ve been told.

    40. Fenwick said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:50

      Rats. Classic Fenwick nym-fail.

    41. 'natch said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:51

      My denominator is uncommon. Or so I’ve been told.

      Thats nothin’. You ought to check out my dangling participle IYKWIMAITYD

    42. Fenwick said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:53

      And we’ve missed you, Spear. BTW, I’ve been watching Firefly on Netflix. Just finished the Christina Hendriks episode….

    43. Fenwick said,

      January 10, 2012 at 23:57

      my dangling participle

      Hey! I thought we were doing math jokes. (Which is hard enough for me, as I never got past algebra and geometry….)

    44. jim said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:12

      Must sorta piss off the Shittiest Website.

      Would they leave it there just to yank their own hate-chains?

      TRES KINKEH.

    45. fish said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:17

      Math is hard.

      Or maybe it is just happy to see you.

    46. animus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:18

      zz* ISREAL!

    47. Cerberus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:25

      Alternate Shorter Yoo:

      How many times do I have to say it? The rule of the land is IOKIYAR!

    48. Hoosier X said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:26

      YOO is the Egg Nazi!

    49. Steerpike said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:30

      Of course, if Obama had simply decided to chain a naked Mitch McConnell (sorry!) in a room with ankle-deep water and clamp jumper-cables to his testicles until he agreed to approve the Consumer Protection Agency and Labor Department nominiees, that would be perfectly OK with Prof. Kim-Yung-Yoo

    50. vacuumslayer has over a billion Facebook friends said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:33

      Math is hard

      Driving is hard!

    51. Major Kong said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:33

      if Obama had simply decided to chain a naked Mitch McConnell (sorry!) in a room with ankle-deep water and clamp jumper-cables to his testicles

      Which side is positive and which is negative?

    52. vacuumslayer has over a billion Facebook friends said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:33

      Do I have a TV clip that’s relevant to just about every occasion?

      Is this an indication that I used to watch too much TV?

      NOOOOOOO.

    53. El Manquécito said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:35

      Combine the photos above with the soundtrack of Peter Frampton singing: “I want Yooooooo to show me the way”

    54. Steerpike said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:36

      if Obama had simply decided to chain a naked Mitch McConnell (sorry!) in a room with ankle-deep water and clamp jumper-cables to his testicles

      Which side is positive and which is negative?

      I don’t see a negative side to that scenario at all

    55. Whale Chowder said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:40

      chain a naked Mitch McConnell (sorry!) in a room with ankle-deep water and clamp jumper-cables to his testicles

      Why would you do that to a poor Galapagos turtle?

    56. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:48

      chain a naked Mitch McConnell (sorry!) in a room with ankle-deep water and clamp jumper-cables to his testicles

      Ooh, I remember this one: “you both get dirty but McConnell enjoys it,” right?

    57. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 0:49

      I, for one, am tired of the tyranny of children’s testicles. Particularly the girls’.

    58. Spearhafoc, who is not an alien spy sent to infiltrate your Earthling "Blog comment threads" said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:01

      Just finished the Christina Hendriks episode….

      There are two Christina Hendricks episodes.

    59. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:32

      I can’t believe you fuckers tricked me into getting out of the boat. Yeah, jim’s initial comment and a few of the first ones are fine, and dandy. Then you round the corner and fall into a fetid swamp with rotten mangoes and tigers and shit-throwing howler monkeys.

      Grr.

    60. rodert rudis said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:45

      Coincidence or Fate? I picked up the remote and flicked on BBC, but all I got was a bunch of fuzz….then I remembered, today is La Toma De Posesion, today José Daniel Ortega Saavedra (aka, El Comandante) officially though unconstitutionally assumes his second consecutive term as Presidente de Nicaragua. Therefore all cable channels except government owned/operated have been temporarily shut down. I mean, if I want to watch teevee, I have to watch the official act. Kind of interesting. It’s a beautiful breezy evening in the Plaza de la Revolcuion with Lago Managua in the background. Hugo Chavez is here (boy, he’s gaining a little weight), Mahmoud Ahmadinejad maybe, Principe Felipe de Espana, bunches of officials from other Central and South American countries, mostly wearing guyaberas (in solidarity, although Ortega usually wears his nehru shirt.)

      If John Yoo wants to work for a real Unitary Executive, maybe he should contact the office of Daniel Ortega.

      “Live from Managua, Nicaragua, it’s the Toma de Posesion Show!”

    61. paleotectonics said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:47

      I’m worried about the binomial-on-quadrilateral action. Where’s the consent?

      They have a fight. Triangle wins.

    62. paleotectonics said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:48

      I can’t believe you fuckers tricked me into getting out of the boat. Yeah, jim’s initial comment and a few of the first ones are fine, and dandy. Then you round the corner and fall into a fetid swamp with rotten mangoes and tigers and shit-throwing howler monkeys.

      Should used a rubber raft. No corners. And the howler shit bounces off.

    63. paleotectonics said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:50

      Imagine that I went to school and can conceptualize proper grammar. And the use of the word “Shoulda”.

    64. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:51

      The necks are worth a lot of money quatloos back on the home planet.

      Which just happens to be the one from which I originate…We have a variety of uses for the necks, all of which are, of course, classified!!!
      .

    65. rodert rudis said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:56

      Let’s see if this works, if you’re interested:

      http://www.canal15.com.ni/

    66. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      January 11, 2012 at 1:59

      rr, I’m picking up the feed 5×5…So this is the only thing ont the tv right now in your neck of the woods?

      .

    67. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      January 11, 2012 at 2:03

      I find it interesting that the city squares of most american cities are occupied by a courthouse rather than a plaza.

      by the way rodert an interesting diversion…thanks
      .

    68. rodert rudis said,

      January 11, 2012 at 2:17

      Here he comes, El Comandante and his wondrous Rosario Murillo, La Primera Dama. Wow! Mahmoud is here! Boy are they pissed there’s noone here representing the U.S……

    69. creature said,

      January 11, 2012 at 2:26

      Yeah, I broke my own rule and dove over the side to have look-see. It was nice that jim’s asswhipping post got ‘firstest’, but the fun did seriously dwindle as the pages went on. Every time I tell myself- “Self, don’t do it, man, just dont- remember the *last* time?” And I ignore that side of my brain’s pleading with the other side- I get beat, once again. Dammit.

      I guess I’m good for this year- boat-exit-wise. Got that outta the way early! I guess my fascination with crooked aw enforcement officials is still alive, barely.

    70. creature said,

      January 11, 2012 at 2:34

      Major Kong- I saw a Harley-Davidson Big V-Twin powered chain saw at some motorcycle event I was at years ago. Can’t remember the detais- too deeply buried below whisky and various drugs and sexual depravities.

    71. Major Kong said,

      January 11, 2012 at 2:38

      I saw a Harley-Davidson Big V-Twin powered chain saw at some motorcycle event I was at years ago

      Americans being who we are – I’m not surprised that someone has built one.

    72. VforVirginia said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:00

      Any private party can challenge this nomination by refusing to obey any regulation issued by the agency as the act of an unconstitutional officer.

      Ah, the You’re Not The Boss Of Me Defense. You don’t see that so much anymore.

    73. acrannymint said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:09

      This guy looks more appealing than the current crop of candidates.

    74. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:15

      Why does he have a turd/Carvel serving on his head?

    75. acrannymint said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:20

      I don’t care as long as I get my PONY!

    76. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:24

      Aw. I want a pony, too.
      .

    77. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:30

      I don’t want to have to give up a kidney for it, though!

    78. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:33

      Kidney once, pee on you. Kidney twice, pee on me.

      No, wait…

    79. acrannymint said,

      January 11, 2012 at 3:38

      I give him props for trying to turn Randall Terry gay

    80. Spearhafoc, who is not an alien spy sent to infiltrate your Earthling "Blog comment threads" said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:16

      “Trying”?

    81. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:30

      I saw a Harley-Davidson Big V-Twin powered chain saw at some motorcycle event I was at years ago

      Americans being who we are – I’m not surprised that someone has built one

      Not a surpise at all. We sure as fuck wouldn’t use a Ducati!

    82. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:38

      Are ponies good to eat?

    83. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:41

      If you like veal, yes.

    84. Spearhafoc, who is not an alien spy sent to infiltrate your Earthling "Blog comment threads" said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:42

      If we’re getting ponies, I call Pinkie Pie!

    85. Fenwick said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:43

      Prof. Kim-Yung-Yoo

      Good laugh for me, Steer.

    86. Fenwick said,

      January 11, 2012 at 4:55

      There are two Christina Hendricks episodes.

      As I just discovered.

      Okay, now I understand the ‘bunk’ reference in Sadlyville. Before watching Firefly I thought it was a ‘summer-camp’ reference. Super-charged teen hormones and all that. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

    87. Lurking Canadian said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:00

      I’m actually disappointed. If you can’t count on John “Presidents can do whatever they like” Yoo to be intellectually consistent, what can you count on? The world just seems a scarier and more unstable place now.

      I mean, say what you like about crushing a child’s testicles in the name of public safety, at least it’s an ethos.

    88. Another Kiwi said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:00

      I tell you, roast the equine back steaks, keep the juices. Add red wine, garlic, wholegrain mustard. Reduce slowly.
      That’s mighty fine Horse Sauce.

    89. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:03

      Being a Kiwi and all I suppose you can also provide a recipe for sheep dip?

    90. Gleeful Depravity said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:16

      Christina Hendricks is the sweetest, most innocent, virginal slip of a girl I have ever known.

    91. Guerilla Voters Cadre 18 said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:17

      Our thanks to acrannymint for the Vermin Supreme link Hitherto, the cadre was unaware of his candidacy. (Comrade Fenwick, however, will write in Bernie Sanders for President. Again.)

      Solidarity!

    92. Fenwick said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:21

      GD: I can see why you and Spearhafoc find Christina Hendricks very attractive.

    93. Another Kiwi said,

      January 11, 2012 at 5:43

      Being a Kiwi and all I suppose you can also provide a recipe for sheep dip?
      A scoundrel might say that, Sir! A scoundrel, I say!

    94. Gleeful Depravity said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:07

      Sheep dip, you say?

      1) Very Large Cauldron

      2) 100 gallons diced tomatoes

      3) 50lb sc chopped onions

      4) 1 bushel cilantro (finely choppéd)

      5) 1 liter “Fear Itself” hot sauce.

      6) 1 flock freshly sheared sheep.

      Fold ingredients into pot, mix thoroughly. Dunk sheep to taste.

      Serves 10-20 ogres.

      Stir ingredieb

    95. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:10

      No chips?

    96. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:14

      Sheep dip: first, ask the band to play a tango…

    97. Gleeful Depravity said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:21

      Fenwick: she has huge tracts of land.

    98. rodert rudis said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:24

      I find it interesting that the city squares of most american cities are occupied by a courthouse rather than a plaza.

      Me too. I’ve toured all over the South and found that most towns are built around the court house, and most even have the south facing Confederate soldier leaning on his musket. For Faulkner the town square was the court house and it represented the center of the universe. (Absalom! Absalom!… “laying its vast shadow to the uttermost rim of horizon”).

      It’s an all comsuming symbol, with power concentrated at the middle, radiating out and summoning all serious matters to its center. The town square represents savagery conquered and domesticated.

      In Latin America the center of the universe is the great Plaza with all the institutions arranged around it in a neat cuadrangle. They are competing interests, with the Church and the Court house and even the Market place all given at least the semblance of equality. People fill the Plazas, children, dogs, horses, vendors, clowns, all sorts of people-activity. The Plaza represents the world as it is, not necessarily as it should be.

      The most beautiful Plaza I have seen is in Bogota, Colombia. But there are many I have not seen.

    99. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:31

      “Pork Chop Hill” comment redacted

    100. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:48

      I can’t believe (oh yes I can) that I spaced on the “frying chickens in the barnyard” opportunity from the last(?) thread with Major “Cojones” Kong flying the ’52 at 300 feet. Just watched the end of Dr. Strangelove on TCM. Next up is another of my faves, “Network.”

      The Ho is in Scottsdale and I’m drinking severely. Thanks TCM, for making this home alone evening not only tolerable but enjoyable.

    101. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 6:49

      Also too, Piazza San Marco

    102. rodert rudis said,

      January 11, 2012 at 7:17

      Gee Pupienus, I don’t even how to describe that. Thank you.

    103. Fenwick said,

      January 11, 2012 at 7:23

      http://www.bloggersbase.com/images/uploaded/original/46efcfee6002e8343a9b88cfc05023d8559664ce.jpeg

      Salamanca’s Plaza Major. The layout is a geometric square with a continuous arcade running around the plaza.

      ———————-.

      http://www.google.com/search?q=siena+city+square&hl=en&client=safari&pwst=1&rls=en&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=VhsNT8yhDK2M0QG6rICjDA&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1149&bih=977

      Sienna’s Piazza del Campo. Browse the images to see the changing of light and shadow at different times of the day. The mood seems to alter with the passage of the sun.

      Sorry for the ‘full’ links to the images. Luddite Fenwick forgot how to do the ‘href’ text replacement. (At times I feel not unlike an idiot….)

    104. Jennifer said,

      January 11, 2012 at 7:54

      When roy tackled this topic, he title the post “Boo Fucking Hoo”. A commenter noted that he should have titled it “Boo Fucking Yoo Hoo.” To which another commenter replied, “the image that brings to mind is that of a mentally-challenged Southern man abusing a bottle of chocolate drink.” That was the gist of it anyway; I can’t be arsed to go cut and paste the exact comment.

      Too good not to be repeated.

    105. Smut Clyde said,

      January 11, 2012 at 10:08

      I don’t like those elitist prime numbers that think they’re better than the rest of us.
      No “perfect numbers” jokes?

    106. ploeg said,

      January 11, 2012 at 16:17

      I don’t see anything about children’s testicles in the Constitution. You and your liberal activist readings!

    107. Pryme said,

      January 11, 2012 at 16:53

      OT: This story would be funny enough even if it weren’t for this other story.. Maybe those guys should get together.

    108. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      January 11, 2012 at 18:22

      I was scheduled to say something this morning, but it looks as if a wake is in progress.
      .

    109. Helmut Monotreme said,

      January 11, 2012 at 18:36

      It is kinda quiet. Does anyone know much about living in New Haven Ct? there is a small but non zero chance I will be living there next year.

    110. TruculentandUnreliable said,

      January 11, 2012 at 18:48

      I’m posting this article everywhere because it pissed me off so much. You know what I did when I was a vegetarian? I DIDN’T GO TO BBQ JOINTS.

      Yet again, the NYT shows itself to be a paper for rich white people who can’t stop complaining.

    111. Major Kong said,

      January 11, 2012 at 18:56

      I can name at least 3 vegetarian restaurants here in Columbus, OH just from memory.

    112. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:05

      I DIDN’T GO TO BBQ JOINTS.

      Kill-joy.

    113. smedley said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:06

      “I’m posting this article everywhere because it pissed me off so much. You know what I did when I was a vegetarian? I DIDN’T GO TO BBQ JOINTS.”

      Just for the record, some of the best salad bars are in steak houses.

    114. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:10

      some of the best salad bars are in steak houses.

      Particularly if you use the organ-meat dressing.

    115. Interrobang said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:13

      Jennifer — Yeah, I’m not a vegetarian, but I’d no more take a vegetarian friend or relative to my favourite BBQ joint (Chinese BBQ in London, Ontario, if you ever happen to be in the nabes) than I would take one of my Orthodox Jewish work colleagues. Although I did once see a guy in a kippa eating there, which sort of made me wonder. (The Chinese default meat is pork, and there’s even a cartoon pig on the restaurant’s logo.)

      I guess if you’re rich enough to be a vegetarian in the midwest, you can whine loudly enough to get a feature in the NYT, though.

    116. TruculentandUnreliable said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:13

      Kong, I can think of three in KC, where the author is from, and I can think of a shitload more places that have vegetarian options. And I don’t live there. The regionalism, snobbery, and ignorance in that article just set me off.

      Sure, ideally, everyone would eat less meat and restaurants would offer more vegetarian options, but I’m not going to feel sorry for a grown-ass adult who had to eat a roll for dinner at a fried chicken place (since when was KC known for its fried chicken, anyway, wtf?) when (s)he’s made a moral decision that any normal person could anticipate would involve some sacrifice.

    117. Hogeye Grex said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:14

      dressing the organ/meat

    118. TruculentandUnreliable said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:16

      Just for the record, some of the best salad bars are in steak houses.

      The only salad bar I like is at Applebee’s.

    119. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:20

      I had a dream last night that the corporate overlords merged Hooters and Bobo’s favorite restaurant into a single chain called “Masturbee’s”.

    120. eataTREE said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:22

      I am sad to report that New Haven is a crime-ridden craphole. On the other hand, it’s easy to have a good time there: just get on the train to NYC.

    121. TruculentandUnreliable said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:22

      I guess if you’re rich enough to be a vegetarian in the midwest, you can whine loudly enough to get a feature in the NYT, though.

      I think that depends on where you live. I think there’s more of a barrier to eating healthfully in general than being a vegetarian. You can live off mac and cheese and ramen and frozen burritos and still be a vegetarian.

    122. TruculentandUnreliable said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:29

      This is what a dog whistle sounds like when you put it through a megaphone.

    123. The Tragically Flip said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:29

      paleotectonics said,

      They have a fight. Triangle wins.

      Torture man, torture man
      Says the president can do anything banned
      couldn’t find the Bill of Rights with a magnifying lens
      Torture man

    124. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:30

      You can live off mac and cheese and ramen and frozen burritos and still be a vegetarian.

      An extraordinarily flatulent vegetarian, I would think.

    125. Interrobang said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:30

      Oh, duh, yeah, T&U…my cognitive slip is showing. I do eat meat but I cannot eat dairy and have to limit eggs, so when I think of “vegetarian,” I think of “vegan” pretty much by default. I shoulda thought of that — in the Midwest, dairy is cheap as dirt; everything’s covered with it. Which explains why *I* try not to go there. :D

    126. Interrobang said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:33

      Come to think of it, if we’re talking cheap, I’d rather eat dirt than dairy products. Pica chew, I choose you!

    127. TruculentandUnreliable said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:37

      Oh, yeah, totally. Eggs are cheap in the Midwest, too.

      I’ve never tried, but I think it’s expensive to be vegan anywhere, unless you’re doing the beans and rice thing every day for pretty much every meal. Which will, indeed, make you flatulent.

    128. Helmut Monotreme said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:50

      I am sad to report that New Haven is a crime-ridden craphole. On the other hand, it’s easy to have a good time there: just get on the train to NYC.

      This confirms the reports I have already heard of the city’s reputation. How long of a train ride would it be to NYC? If I move there, is it possible to commute to NYC for work? Realistically, if I live there, and I don’t want to commute more than an hour to work, how many miles is that in the eastern megalopolis traffic hell that I assume the place is?

    129. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:56

      Helmut –

      It’s 90 minutes by train, assuming you’re commuting by Metro-North and not Amtrak.

      And I-95 in Connecticut, which is the direct route to anywhere other than Hartford, stinks on ice.

    130. eataTREE said,

      January 11, 2012 at 19:57

      I commuted from Fairfield, which is only two or three stops closer to NYC than New Haven on Metro-North. So yes, I would say that is a definite possibility, although it will certainly take you more than an hour each way — probably closer to two hours door to door from New Haven. I would not recommend attempting to drive into the city for any reason short of sheer desperation.

      New Haven proper has Yale and… that’s pretty much it as far as attractions go. Try to get some sort of off-street parking arrangement unless you want your car broken into once a week.

      Fun fact: I saw the Decemberists at Toad Hall in New Haven. Then I moved to Portland for five years and didn’t see a single local band while I was there.

    131. Clern Control said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:02

      Is the visual joke here that Korean guys all look the same or something?

    132. Doctorb said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:03

      Oh right, Christina Hendricks …

    133. Steerpike said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:08

      T&U Why you gotta go putting Fox News links up like that? Man, you need wet floor caution signs with all the drool in those comments.

    134. Whale Chowder said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:09

      Is the visual joke here that Korean guys all look the same or something?

      No, I’d say that’s not it at all. It’s that John Yoo and Korea’s newest brutal dictator both look and think similarly. I’d expect Tintin to be pretty sensitive to stereotyping.

    135. paleotectonics said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:11

      Incredibly important world-changing up-to-teh-minute news – (credit Daily Tucker Fucker, via Mr. Bogg)

      Two years ago, the White House threw an Alice in Wonderland themed Halloween party for military children. Tim Burton provided decorations, Johnny Depp provided himself and his own cigs (including an extra for the president), and the White House kitchen provided cookies.

      The White House immediately went into cover-up mode, releasing photos of the event only to the non-Tucker fourth estate fifth column, and refusing to divert an aircraft carrier, make a sign, or find a 6’3″ flightsuit for prepared remarks.

      Taxes paid for those cookies, and Jaime Dimon had to send a sous-chef home early for an evening. Sugar was not consumed by Rush Limbaugh. Unexpected early 21th century events prevented John McCain from yelling at the kids to Get Off His Lawn.

      I hate these muddafukkas.

    136. vacuumslayer has over a billion Facebook friends said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:47

      T&U Why you gotta go putting Fox News links up like that? Man, you need wet floor caution signs with all the drool in those comments.

      The comments are priceless.

    137. vacuumslayer has over a billion Facebook friends said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:51

      Nothing could be more horrifying finer than to be in Carolina!

      Oh, South Carolina, why you gotta do me like that?!

    138. Bitter Scribe said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:55

      Yeah, I’m not a vegetarian, but I’d no more take a vegetarian friend or relative to my favourite BBQ joint (Chinese BBQ in London, Ontario, if you ever happen to be in the nabes) than I would take one of my Orthodox Jewish work colleagues. Although I did once see a guy in a kippa eating there, which sort of made me wonder.

      In “Portnoy’s Complaint,” there’s a reference to how the title character and his family, while keeping kosher, sometimes ate pork in Chinese restaurants. I don’t have the book in front of me (no longer work from home…*sob*) but it’s something to the effect of, the stuff was so shredded and doused in soy sauce that it wasn’t recognizable as pork anymore, which removed the guilt.

    139. D.N. Nation said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:57

      vacuumslayer-

      I actually interviewed Cory Burnell for a now-defunct S.C. alt-weekly back in 2004. Kinda had the Santorum thing going in that he’s just the nicest-sounding fella until you address the derp coming out of his piehole.

      It was a slow summer, so we made it the cover story. I liked that he talked to me during his break at a Radio Shack or whatever. Gotta start somewhere.

    140. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:58

      I remember when I was a kid watching the Tonight Show there were conversations I didn’t understand. Shortly after Portnoy’s Complaint came out, Philip Roth was on. Erica Jong was the first guest, and Carson asked her if she had read P’s C. Her response was “Yes, and I’m looking forward to meeting Mr. Roth, but I don’t think I’m going to shake his hand.”

    141. Bitter Scribe said,

      January 11, 2012 at 20:59

      From vacuumslayer’s link:

      Burnell said his inspiration came from the Free State Project, which in October 2003 appealed to libertarians to move to New Hampshire for limited government intervention, lower taxes and greater individual rights. By 2006, organizers had hoped to have 20,000 people committed to relocating to New Hampshire; so far, 6,600 have said they intended to make the move, and only 100 have done so.

      Christian Exodus, Burnell predicted, will be more successful.

      Just curious…how could it possibly be less successful?

    142. Bitter Scribe said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:00

      N_B, I think it was actually Jackie Collins who said that. A writer even more worthless than Jong.

    143. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:01

      N_B, I think it was actually Jackie Collins who said that.

      May well be. At the time I had no idea who any of them were.

    144. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:07

      “If necessary,” he said, “we will secede from the union.”

      Can we just let them go this time?

    145. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:09

      “If necessary,” he said, “we will secede from the union.”

      Can we just let them go this time?

      Kill them all, let Confederate Jeebus sort them out.

    146. Major Kong said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:10

      “If necessary,” he said, “we will secede from the union.”

      Buh bye!

    147. Whale Chowder said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:11

      After scrutinizing electoral records, demographic trends and property prices, Christian Exodus members identified two upstate South Carolina counties – they will not officially say which ones – as prime for a conservative takeover.

      I LOVE this idea. Localize the dipshits and reap two benefits: 1) fewer of them around the rest of us and 2) easier to keep an eye on

      It’d be shitty for the poor saps currently living in the targeted counties but sometimes ya just gotta take one for the team. Besides, with the massive influx of Talibangelicals, property values should go up. What better time to sell and move?

    148. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:12

      Kill them all, let Confederate Jeebus sort them out.

      The pulled long pork restaurants will have salad bars for the non-humanitarians.

    149. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:12

      Does Ft. Sumter have drones, now?
      .

    150. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:13

      Smut Clyde said,

      January 11, 2012 at 10:08 (kill)

      I don’t like those elitist prime numbers that think they’re better than the rest of us.
      No “perfect numbers” jokes?

      No need to be Mersenneary about it.

    151. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:13

      I LOVE this idea. Localize the dipshits and reap two benefits: 1) fewer of them around the rest of us and 2) easier to keep an eye on

      That article is almost six year old. Wonder how it’s working out?
      .

    152. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:13

      The pulled long pork restaurants

      Sauce can cover a multitude of sins Carolinians.

    153. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:15

      Pulling the long pork.
      .

    154. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:15

      Thank goodness that mustard-vinegar stuff really cuts the fatty taste.

    155. britbitter said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:16

      No need to be Mersenneary about it.

      You Collatz a joke?

    156. Bitter Scribe said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:24

      “If necessary,” he said, “we will secede from the union.”

      Can we just let them go this time?

      Second. Those assholes have been bitching and moaning about being in the Union since the 1830s. What has S.C. ever done for the rest of us, other than decent barbecue and a couple of good college football teams?

    157. D.N. Nation said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:26

      What has S.C. ever done for the rest of us, other than decent barbecue

      …except (eastern) North Carolina does BBQ better.

      a couple of good college football teams?

      Clumpson? The Ass-Kickin’ Chickens? I wouldn’t necessarily roll with “decent.”

    158. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:31

      What has S.C. ever done for the rest of us

      Serve as a cautionary tale?

    159. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:33

      You Collatz a joke?

      Don’t shoot me, I’m just the Peano player.

    160. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:38

      The math jokes are Waring thin.

    161. Spearhafoc, who is not an alien spy sent to infiltrate your Earthling "Blog comment threads" said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:42

      The math jokes are Waring thin.

      +1

    162. tigris said,

      January 11, 2012 at 21:59

      What has S.C. ever done for the rest of us

      TWIN STUDIES.

    163. Major Kong said,

      January 11, 2012 at 22:03

      What has S.C. ever done for the rest of us

      Charleston is pretty nice, but they’re kind of snooty. If your family’s been there for 3 generations you’re still the “new guys”.

    164. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 22:10

      If your family’s been there for 3 generations you’re still the “new guys”.

      Hell, even backwoods Maine only takes 2 generations.

    165. Pupienus said,

      January 11, 2012 at 22:42

      Let’s see…
      The Citadel
      Bob Jones U.
      Strom Thurmond
      Jim Clyburn
      Andy Dick
      Lindsey “Light in his loafers” Graham (notably absent from the wiki list)
      Vanna White

      Gee, thanks a lot SC. Thanks a fucking lot.

    166. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      January 11, 2012 at 22:52

      It’s not a double chin, it’s a yoolap.

    167. tsam said,

      January 11, 2012 at 22:58

      Ahchyoo!

    168. tsam said,

      January 11, 2012 at 22:59

      I see our favorite constitutional scholar is back, throwing all those stupid “laws” and stuff under the stupid “bus” where the shit belongs.

    169. smedley said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:02

      Pup, you forgot SC’s original dick, John Rutledge:

      “religion and humanity have nothing to do with the questions” of whether the Constitution should protect slavery–it was simply a question of property rights”

    170. El Manquécito said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:05

      SC was the last place someone pointed a gun at me and that wasn’t the worst of that particular 24 hours.

      I did my time in New Haven and have good friends that live there now, Helmut, I can answer any questions you have at my name, no space or diacritical marks at gmail.

    171. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:06

      Does anyone know much about living in New Haven Ct?

      Mamoun’s Falafel Restaurant
      Wooster Street Pizzerias

    172. Helmut Monotreme said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:07

      I did my time in New Haven and have good friends that live there now, Helmut, I can answer any questions you have at my name, no space or diacritical marks at gmail.

      I will be emailing you. My fiance got an interview for grad school there, and if she is accepted we are on our collective way, later this year.

    173. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:09

      From T&U’s NYT link:

      Even though the region boasts some of the finest farmland in the world, there is a startling lack of fresh produce here.

      Uh, dumbass, it’s January… there’s a startling lack of fresh produce everywhere in the U.S.

    174. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:11

      B^4! Where you been?

    175. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:15

      B^4! Where you been?

      My laptop went kaput, and I had to order a new power cord for my antiquated laptop, which just arrived today.

    176. N__B said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:16

      What, you’re too good to use the urine-stained computers at the library? Well, la di day.

    177. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:28

      What, you’re too good to use the urine-stained computers at the library? Well, la di day.

      Nah, the pee costs extra!

      Oh, and Helmut, if the move to New Haven goes through, try checking out the employment situation in Stamford- there are a lot of big companies there, and your commute would not be so brutal.

      Also, East Rock, West Rock, and Sleeping Giant state parks are awesome.

    178. El Manquécito said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:45

      Also, East Rock, West Rock, and Sleeping Giant state parks are awesome.

      For southern CT values of awesome maybe. Next you’ll be weighing in on the super hawtness of Albertus Magnus girls.

    179. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      January 11, 2012 at 23:48

      Next you’ll be weighing in on the super hawtness of Albertus Magnus girls.

      They don’t call it the “walk of shame” for nothing.

    180. Helmut Monotreme said,

      January 12, 2012 at 0:09

      Thanks B^4, that’s exactly the sort of info i need.

    181. Helmut Monotreme said,

      January 12, 2012 at 0:25

      For southern CT values of awesome maybe. Next you’ll be weighing in on the super hawtness of Albertus Magnus girls.

      They named a university after Fat Albert?

    182. Pupienus said,

      January 12, 2012 at 2:02

      Heeheeheee. Something I never thought I would say: Thank you Newticles, thank you!

    183. DAS said,

      January 12, 2012 at 23:15

      Uh, dumbass, it’s January… there’s a startling lack of fresh produce everywhere in the U.S. – BBBB

      I am sure there is fresh produce available in Hawaii. Unless the birthers are partially right and Hawaii isn’t really part of the US …

    184. not a gator said,

      January 15, 2012 at 6:12

      I dunno about that image… John Yoo actually looks handsome and square-jawed next to freaky baby-face Li’l Kim. I mean, Dear Leader looks like the giant witch baby Boh from Spirited Away. Uncanny.

    185. Joan Clark said,

      January 18, 2012 at 21:53

      That is racist. What does John Yoo have to do with North Koreans except that they all look Asian?

      Very nasty.

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