Tantrum in C for Strings and Harp
Cybermen will upgrade you. You will have no need for Social Security, Health Care, or Unemployment.
Christopher Chantrill, American Wanker:
Obama’s Sterilized Society
I’m going to start off serious for a moment. It’s actually kind of frustrating that of all of the things to get the Republicans in trouble, it’s a motherfucking tax cut for the middle class that’s sticking on them. They’ve been openly bragging about how they’ve been working for Party First and have openly sacrificed the only chances a lot of people have had to survive entirely to “deny Obama wins” and extend the Depression into 2012 to hurt Obama’s re-election chances and have abused every single legislative trick to basically ensure that the Democrats could pass nothing even if they wanted to, not even confirmations on Cabinet members and executive staff.
But no, what sinks them is them doing that “how will this hurt Obama” game to a middle class tax cut. Because tax cuts are sacred, don’t you know? Ending the Depression, keeping people from losing their shelter and dying on the streets? Pff. Small potatoes to our Holy God Lord Tax Cut.
But you didn’t come to hear me bitch. You came to hear wingnuts bitch and me mock them.
As you wish, dear reader.
Chalk one up to President Obama. He’s got a 2-month extension of payroll tax cuts in the teeth of opposition from those wascally Wepublicans
Aw, poor babies, did you get bitch-slapped so hard, everything you eat tastes of copper? Here let me give you some iodine to make it all better.
so that two months from now we can have the fight all over again.
Well, seeing as how your whole fight was just an attempt to hang Obama on “he raised middle class tax rates during a recession” in the 2012 election, you could just not fight it next time and thus not look like chumps.
Oh wait, we’re talking conservatives. It’s now going to be their “Right to look like a Chump” and they’ll fight to the death over the chance to do the same fail all over again just in case there was anyone left in the universe who didn’t notice that “we’re just against tax cuts” meant “we’re for giving all the money to the rich.”
I suppose that the president’s chief objective in this vicious little fight was to remind the voters which of the two parties was the Stupid Party.
Shorter Chris Chantrill: “It’s Obama’s fault we were stupid amateur chumps who knocked ourselves out on our own nunchucks.”
Count me as stupid, too.
Hey, he said it, not me.
I thought that the FICA payroll taxes were sacred to the memory of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and could not be touched.
We put those payroll contributions there so as to give the contributors a legal, moral, and political right to collect their pensions and unemployment benefits. With those taxes in there, no damn politician can ever scrap my social security program.
So, Mr. President, when you start monkeying around those taxes aren’t you desecrating the holy Trust Fund?
Yeah, sorry no. The time to have that debate was like a million times before. When Bush added this bullshit to make his massive tax giveaway to the rich look like a broad thing, you all cheered like little chipmunks. When we were trying to fix Bush’s fiasco, you fought to the death to extend Bush’s tax cuts to the rich and could have raised these issues then. Here, now that you’ve been made to look like a chump? No, it’s way too late to pretend you were principled.
You got schooled. You got schooled so bad the media couldn’t save you. I won’t lie. There’s shame in that.
So much shame.
And once the holy of holies has been violated, doesn’t it lose its totemic power to reduce Republicans to 98-pound weaklings?
Remember that one kid in school who when they would trip over the pavement, would immediately point to the nearest kid to them and claim they tripped them, even if they were nowhere near them?
I don’t know why I suddenly started thinking of that.
Imagine the wailing and the gnashing of teeth if President Bush had pulled a trick like this.
Oh, you mean when Bush did the thing you’re claiming to be principled about, seeing as how this was the middle class sweetener in the shit log of the Upper Class tax cuts?
And yes, imagine the shock and surprise we’d have if the Republicans ever did something to embarrass their enemies before an election, like passing the “Patriot Act” and other wishlist bills under threat of calling democrats unamerican in the elections. Or say, spending 3 years during a Depression sabotaging everything you can just to try and improve your electoral chances, including hardline attempts to screw Democrats that ended up blowing up in your face for the first time.
That’d be bad.
But at least you are tacitly admitting that the crushing taxes that Democrats have laid on the brow of labor are a problem. That is progress. For if swingeing taxes on wages are bad during a halting recovery, why are they any better at any other stage in the business cycle, Mr. President?
“Swingeing”?
As to your obviously well-informed question, Mr. Crying Baby. Maybe it has something to do with the “job creators” we have been “freeing to create jobs” with tax cuts not using it to keep wages rising with the tide, so the little people need a little relief to keep the whole edifice from crashing down around idiots like you.
I’ve suggested elsewhere that many marginal small businesses thrown up their hands with all the taxes and regulations and gone “off-the-books.”
Successful small businesses, often in the fields of distribution of small packaged goods or service professionals who cater to specific client problems that need direct professional attention. These street corner small businesses are what America is all about.
The government insurance programs like Social Security, unemployment, and worker’s comp. are terrible ideas, because they sterilize the workers’ savings.
We won’t give up, Mr. President, until every single social safety net is dismantled and its money poured down the gullet of our “Free Market” machine. And then, when the poor have no stake in the country and absolutely no guarantee to life, we’ll privatize the police and military as well and no ill consequences will ever occur.
What give them cake? That cake’s for my bichon frise, Princess. Let them buy their own damn cake.
If I contribute to Social Security starting as a twentysomething, my accumulated balance is useless to me until I retire. Same with unemployment: useless unless I lose my job.
Yeah, that’s the point.
When you have employment, you have money, you are getting more money regularly. The safety net is there for when you don’t have that coming in. When you need to survive until you got another job paying the bills or until you retire and have zero income because you are too old to work comfortably.
Do you think that people are immortal and that bad things can’t happen to them. That jobs simply are and continue into perpetuity with zero flux or need to plan for the future?
Are…are you a robot? Is that how it works for you and your robotic masters?
Hey, who cares? At least the money is there when I need it.
No, Mr. President. You just don’t get it. When a worker saves money for a rainy day, he does not segregate the money into “retirement” or “job loss,” he knows the money is available for any purpose. From the point of view of Americans looking for jobs, one such purpose is a very important one: starting a new business.
Yes, of course, why would you need to eat or retain shelter when you are without income or trying to live out your Golden Years? What’s more important is starting a new business and the ungodly amount of hours and risk that takes often requiring massive investment before you see the first paycheck and that’s if it’s successful.
Oh, Chrissy, you truly have your cold robotic mandible on the pulse of the American people.
In most stories about successful businesses, a common theme is that the startup capital often comes from the founder’s home equity. Right now, of course, with upwards of 40 percent of mortgages underwater, very few entrepreneurs can get the capital to get started. No home equity, no startup. No startups, no economic growth.
…
Yeah, here on Earth, starting a business depends on a safety net. If you’ve got a guaranteed government income that pays the bills and feeds the family and guaranteed government health care so that you don’t need to scramble to get employed by anyone just in case Little Tommy gets sick then you can take the risk of starting a new business.
And as we’ve seen, it turns out that countries with the most robust explosion of new businesses are those with the strongest safety nets. Unsurprisingly, these countries have the strongest economies as well.
But I suppose that wouldn’t matter to your Home Planet as your Steel Hearts have no need for food, shelter, or Biological Healthcare.
Now imagine if our budding entrepreneur could borrow money from his Social Security account, or his personal unemployment fund, because they were genuine savings that each worker owned and could borrow against.
I keep trying to imagine it, but I keep getting the same dystopian future. Should I try jiggling the antennae?
Imagine if the savings of the workers of America weren’t sterilized in government trust funds being spent by some damn politician on crony capitalist investments like wind turbines.
Ha! Yeah, those Big Liberal giveaways, like promoting a new industry of energy promotion instead of just shoveling trillions of dollars to an entrenched monopoly like Oil so they can get started really innovating and growing.
And you thought we were the stupid ones, well we’ll show you. MOMMY!
The economy would now be expanding briskly and you, Mr. President, would be looking forward confidently to reelection.
I don’t know why, but for some reason, I don’t trust him.
In my view, the sterilized savings problem is merely a poster boy for a bigger problem, that liberalism and the welfare state sterilize everything that moves.
I sense something in the air. We’ve already moved through two insane wingnut topics. But I sense another one on the way. Let me see, could be welfare queens, could be gay marriage, um, wait, I can get this.
Family is millions of people exchanging tokens of love and hope and bringing jillions of bouncing babies out into the world.
Oh, of course, abortion. Somehow dwelling minutes of his time on his party’s limp failure to screw the president reminded him of his own limp failures to screw and thus to the evils of woman and their filthy desires to be treated as full human beings.
But liberals like you, Mr. President, are opposed to all this. You want the economy sterilized and regulated by experts; you want society sterilized and equalized by bureaucrats; you want families sterilized, er, “planned” to save the world from “overpopulation,” and you privilege sterile sexual couplings by promoting “birth control” and “gay marriage.”
I’d like you all to appreciate this sentence. This is Pure Wingnuttery, untouched by logic, unfettered by sense, unbound by sanity. This is the raw stuff people, from which everything else is formed.
Also, remember a single person deciding what they are doing with their bodies or that they’d like to marry the person they love rather than the person they’re “supposed to love” means that everyone will be forced to do it as well.
So you may think that you don’t want to carry that rapist’s seed to term to form a child you hate or that you want to marry the man, but really, you want the entire country to be forced into barren gay marriages and forced abortions. You selfish bastards.
We will pull up here, and not mention the sterility of modern architecture, because that would be going too far.
Oh, I’m sorry, was there a single building built recently that didn’t resemble a dick? I’m so sorry the lack of phallic imagery made your dick wilt.
It all boils down to this: Conservatives are pro-life and fecundity. Liberals are pro-choice and sterility.
Never mind your class war, Mr. President. Let’s have a war on sterility.
Do I have nothing? Well, so what? I have bumper sticker slogans! Activate hind brain implants in Reptilian footsoldiers. Transmitting. “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” End Transmission.
Take that liberals. Now, we’ll see who are the real poopyheads.
Aw, cover boy!
.
Who?
We will pull up here, and not mention the sterility of modern architecture, because that would be going too far.
In the immortal words of Norm MacDonald, “Wait, what?”
I thought that the FICA payroll taxes were sacred to the memory of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and could not be touched.
We put those payroll contributions there so as to give the contributors a legal, moral, and political right to collect their pensions and unemployment benefits. With those taxes in there, no damn politician can ever scrap my social security program.
So, Mr. President, when you start monkeying around those taxes aren’t you desecrating the holy Trust Fund?
Actually, sort of.
Pup-
My favorite part was how he claimed to be principled on this because they prevented people from monkeying around with or scrapping Social Security a scant couple of paragraphs before joining the wingnut choir in demanding that Social Security be scrapped because it “limits economic freedom”.
The wingnuts can’t even sustain their bad faith concern trolling through an entire essay anymore.
I admit I’m more a fan of Deco and such than I am of a lot of modern architectural styles, but I have no idea what this is supposed to mean.
Get me re-write!!
The mind (sic) of a a conservablogger is an amazing thing. It works (sic) as if one was to stick the Official Neocon Dictionary in a shredder and then paste up random strips of paper until one ran out of mucilage. Word salad doesn’t even *begin* to describe it.
I admit I’m more a fan of Deco
Are we not PoMo?
But at least you are tacitly admitting that the crushing taxes that Democrats have laid on the brow of labor are a problem.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I planned ahead and started doing Arnolds with my brows in 2008 to keep them from being crushed.
We will pull up here, and not mention the sterility of modern architecture, because that would be going too far.
Look, if we don’t sterilize our architecture, you’ll have Johnsons crossbredding with Peis, and next thing you know, you’ve gota little of fucking little Frank Gehrys all over the place and those bastards can’t be put up for adoption for love or money.
Aw, JP, I hope you are making serious money as LarryElvis’s agent. He’s adorable.
Well, there’s this. A little different for the town that features The Circumcision Tower.
We will pull up here, and not mention the sterility of modern architecture, because that would be going too far
Ellsworth Toohey?
Aw, JP, I hope you are making serious money as LarryElvis’s agent. He’s adorable.
He and Curly have both been well-tended this year. I am thankful for having so many great friends.
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If modern architecture really were sterile, you wouldn’t need to pull up.
next thing you know, you’ve gota little of fucking little Frank Gehrys all over the place and those bastards can’t be put up for adoption for love or money.
Not only that, we’d be up to our tuches in Frank Lloyd Wrights without an effective strategy, like capture, neuter, and release.
It does not speak well for Mr Chantrill’s intelligence that he is arguing with the voices in his head, and still losing.
okay…this post took me a looooooooooong time to read…not because it is lengthy (after all, i clicked on the link to keep reading by my own volition), but because i had to keep laying my head down on my desk…
hell, just recalling this mango-infested gibberish caused me to lay my head down on my desk…i find myself wishing for an officemate with a sledge hammer to put my out of my misery…
really…wtf? as you know, it doesn’t happen often that i am struck speechless, but mother mary, baby jeesus and god our father, this is just a shit ton of dumb…
In my view, the sterilized savings problem is merely a poster boy for a bigger problem, that liberalism and the welfare state sterilize everything that moves.
See. Vote Democrat!!! Solve the abortion issue!
From blocking payroll tax-cuts to fecundity? Teh long & blinding road.
So sweet that he writes as if Obama will either see this piece of POOP or care!
Uh, a war on sterility isn’t an “idea” so much as “why all of my dates cancel at the last minute.”
That good ol’ lizard-brain “declare war on problems” routine just never gets old for some folks, eh?
It is a ghastly thing ——–> SOTFB.
Not only that, we’d be up to our tuches in Frank Lloyd Wrights without an effective strategy, like capture, neuter, and release.
Bastards breed like van de Rohes…
“sterilized”? WTF?
Is this just my foreigner’s ignorance talking, or am I correct in my belief that the president has very little, or one might say, no power to affec trends in modern architecture
I swear that when I typed it, affect ended with a t and the sentence ended with a ?
Wordpress just couldn’t pass up one last chance to screw me in 2011.
Is this just my foreigner’s ignorance talking, or am I correct in my belief that the president has very little, or one might say, no power to affect trends in modern architecture?
In addition to being the chief executive and commander in chief of the armed forces, article 1 of the constitution names the president, ex officio, to every architectural jury in the nation. It’s why so many men in the job have been drunkards.
But liberals like you, Mr. President, are opposed to all this. You want the economy sterilized
Obama is NOMAD!
We will pull up here, and not mention the sterility of modern architecture, because that would be going too far
I presume he is talking about the ‘mirrored glass box’ so typical in near suburbs.
I will go ahead and mention that the big push towards the mirrored glass box and away from Deco and other more decorative styles, was primarily pushed by corporate entities who liked the so-called modern (and ostensibly cheaper) construction, supported by the financing structures created by the banking industry that did not support long-term investment in building construction.
Y’know, the corporations and banksters whose knobs he is slobbering over.
Is this just my foreigner’s ignorance talking, or am I correct in my belief that the president has very little, or one might say, no power to affec trends in modern architecture
CHICAGO SCHOOL, BITCHEZ!
If the architecture is sterile, why would you need to pull out?
If the architecture is sterile, why would you need to pull out?
To make belly art, duh!
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WordPress just couldn’t pass up one last chance to screw me in 2011.
There’s several days yet.
JP, see the receptionist to collect your internet. Wear it in good health.
Obama is NOMAD!
To paraphrase Jefferson Airplane:
NOMAD is an island!
NOMAD is an island!
He’s a peninsula.
another advantage mr. chantshrill cites for businesses who go ‘off the books’:
They can collect cash wages and government welfare benefits at the same time. That’s what I call win-win, and game theorists call a “positive-sum” game. For the players.
oh, goody! i finally get to do one of these!
1. get paid in cash
2. collect gov’t. welfare
3. ???
4. PROFIT!!!
You can still get diseases, especially if the building in question will let just anyone in.
The Taj Mahal gave me, like, five different kinds of herpes.
The Taj Mahal gave me, like, five different kinds of herpes.
Must….resist…urge….to…..make…..backdoor……joke…..
The Taj Mahal gave me, like, five different kinds of herpes.
I don’t know about that, but there’s some real estate in NYC and Jersey that’ll give ya Trumpes
“sterilized”? WTF?
I am sure that Mr Chantrill’s fact-free determination to link Obama with sterility is in no way driven by the concept of hybrid infertility.
from the fisking:
“Swingeing”?
from chantshrill’s commentors:
I loved your use of “swingeing;” I don’t have the confidence to use a word like that in an article.
merriam’s says ‘swingeing’ is a chiefly british term…aren’t the brits socialists? so, why are chantshrill and his crony thugs so enamored of socialist language? methinks it’s not the structure of buildings he needs to worry about as the structure of his own socialist sentences…
The Taj Mahal gave me, like, five different kinds of herpes.
Well, if you’re a necrophiliac, you’re gonna have problems no matter what kind of architecture you’re dealing with.
Also, I’m sure the author would consider standard American-suburban-wasteland-sprawlville crackerbox condo subdivisions to be the epitome of soulless, ugly, in his word “sterile” architectural style, and I would be the first to agree. Which is why I applaud the fact that most forward-thinking communities have been adopting
liberal, socialist, job-killing regulationszoning and building codes to require builders to use morefertileaesthetically appealing designs for new construction.God damn it, I keep forgetting to wish for more wishes.
We need more choice in architects.
Just once I’d love to actually see and experience this alternate universe that libertarians apparently live in. If anything it sounds like a very different and magical place and would be worth checking out just to satisfy my curiosity.
Dang- if the pushers and hookers have gone over to the darkside we’re in deep doo doo now 😉
Dang- if the pushers and hookers have gone over to the darkside we’re in deep doo doo now 😉
I was thinking “small parcel couriers” and “psychotherapists.” Man, was I out in left field!
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We will pull up here, and not mention the sterility of modern architecture
What, so Richard Meier is Obama’s fault too?
Just once I’d love to actually see and experience this alternate universe that libertarians apparently live in. If anything it sounds like a very different and magical place and would be worth checking out just to satisfy my curiosity.
I always pictured it as some amalgamation of OZ and Wonderland.
Is he trying to say that he wants to get laid?
Is he trying to say that he wants to get laid?
Most of these rants can be boiled down to, “I’m not getting any, and it the Liberals fault!”
Conservatives are pro-life
You can tell, because of all the capital punishment, bombing of other countries, and eradication of environment they support.
Just once I’d love to actually see and experience this alternate universe that libertarians apparently live in. If anything it sounds like a very different and magical place and would be worth checking out just to satisfy my curiosity.
The curious do not fare well in Galt’s Gulch.
Obama is a GONAD? What?
No, wingnuts are gonads, because gonads are fecund and wingnuts are pro-fecundity. And they’re anti-sterility, which must mean that they’re pro-dirt.
This seems to indicate that Republicans are now in favor of hot, sweaty mudfuck orgies with extra fecundity. Someone should notify Brent Bozell.
CHRISTIAN orgies are ok.
Especially while it’s being fertilised by pieces of architecture.
No liberal anywhere ever had kids. Good to know.
Since you are a gonad
Oh you’re a better gonod
Gonad. Gonad. Gonad.
Before you see me cry.
I don’t want you to tell me
Just what you intend to do now.
‘Cause how many times do I have to tell you
Darling, darling,
I’m still in love
With you now?
Especially while it’s being fertilised by pieces of architecture.
Great. I don’t look forward to my dreams TONIGHT.
Millions of deserving, worthwhile human beings saved from abject poverty… it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
No liberal anywhere ever had kids. Good to know.
Apparently we were all cloned, or hatched from eggs or something.
No liberal anywhere ever had kids. Good to know.
Apparently we were all cloned, or hatched from eggs or something.
I came out of a wine cellar.
I came out of a wine cellar
An Irishman walks out of a bar. Hey, it could happen!
I came from a pile of oily rags.
Filmfest night 4: Watchmen.
Oh good god. Stop now before it’s too late.
If you can get past Malin Ackerman’s inability to act, it’s pretty good. Not as good as the book, but what can you do? Besides killing Zach Snyder, that is.
I came out of a wine cellar
Why would you do that?
Oh. I thought it was awful. Just awful.
Except the opening credits, which were actually really cool and the high point of the film.
But…it’s an alternate reality! With airships!
No lustful, gay Ron Paul though. You ALMOST had me.
Yeah, stop after the opening credits.
The movie somehow ruined the best line in the whole book.
One of the pods had my face.
If the movie had just been this sequence, I would have been very happy.
Also, I thought Patrick Wilson did a good job as Nite Owl and Jackie Earle Haley was a great Rorschach.
If you want to see a genuinely good movie with Patrick Wilson in it, watch both parts of Angels in America. It’s fucking brilliant.
Or Young Adult.
Sounds like a very Edwardian Passing of the Great Race panic—all that’s missing is pointing out the fecundity of the Savages in Our Midst and Surrounding Us.
Or think of any cheap sci-fi flick in which they cry (to quote a comic cover, “Bizarre Sex” #3?) ‘Earthman, give me your seed!!!,’ because science and radiation and effeminising civilisation have rendered their males sterile or dead or impotent.
…maybe that‘s what Ron Paul was afraid of catching from that toilet seat.
okay, now i haz a confused…chantshrill claims that ‘conservatives are all pro-life and fecundity’…but wouldn’t it be fair to speculate that he would also agree that blackity blacks and messicans (who tend to vote democratic) are won’t to spill out many upon many of bastards and anchor babbies all in the name of sucking off the govt teat forever? so, wouldn’t they also be pro-life and fecundity? which would make them conservatives? which is why they vote democrat?
cripes…it IS an alternate world!
Just gotta congratulate our fabulous Overlady on another great post, *now with a “more” button* — yay! Less scrolling for awesomeness in Ghosts of Threads Past!
Attention to detail counts too: I larfed when I moused-over on that great p-shop.
I suppose that the president’s chief objective in this vicious little fight was to remind the voters which of the two parties was the Stupid Party.
Actually, he was content with making you chumps look like the Silly Party. You guys already gave yourselves the sobriquet “teabaggers”, after all, so it would be tough to “make” you look stupid.
How she slogged through all the rest of that whiny whimpering I’ll never know, but I needed a laugh today, and Sadly, No! continues to deliver. Thanks!
If the movie had just been this sequence, I would have been very happy.
oh, hey…i think i watched some of ‘watchmen’…came into it in progress, knew nothing at tall about it and was therefore very cornfused…but i do remember thinking that i would like to watch the whole thing at a future date…
But the FDIC, on the other hand, is BRILLIANT!
Delurking for just a minute. Doesn’t this face simple scream“fecundity”?
Doesn’t this face simple scream“fecundity”?
If there were a pedophile Pope Turtle…
~
If there were a pedophile Pope Turtle…
this screams ‘photoshop, plz!!!’
Doesn’t this face simple scream“fecundity”?
it does if you mean it in a totally not-sexy or intercoursey way…say, perhaps referring to fertile sand…near an ocean…where eggs are buried…
The real question is whether this surging wave of Republo-Fecundity is powerful enough to take on the hyper-testosteroned cadres of militarized sex maniacs from the mysterious East waiting for a chance to pound Western Civilization into the ground with their mammoth Asiatic boners. *
(* Greatest wingnut article of all time)
Snorg….whoah.
I would ask for some of the drugs she’s on, but I really don’t think I need to up my paranoia.
Also, very nice perverted shorter there.
Greatest wingnut article of all time.
Well, we call it “Wing Nut Daily” for a birtherific reason, now don’t we? They’re the original home of weaponized stupidity, after all.
Let us recall that Peak Wingnut can never be achieved, because it is always being achieved. WND will bring even more crazy on the morrow.
Snorg’s link is hilarious. It gets weirder and weirder as you read through it. The punchline is delightfully unhinged.
Wonderful thread going on, btw.
What the fuck? This post (like the rest of Cerberus’ posts) is just–plain and simple–BAD. It lacks style, it’s so (so, so very) poorly written, it’s got no wit, it has no comprehension of a (truly) liberal agenda, and it’s absolutely full of the same horrendous typographical, syntactical, and grammatical errors that we all like to pick apart in the posts of conservative dimwits.
What we’ve got here is not merely a failure to communicate, but a linguistic and intellectual defection from liberal thought and/or insight to the dark side of Malkinisms, and Goldbergian writing.
Goddamnit. I miss Gavin. Even Roy Edroso STILL hasn’t got shit on Gavin. And Roy Edroso is a badass motherfucker, both political-wise and prose-wise. Cerberus and Tintin–yer both just pikers in comparison. And it sucks, because what the left SHOULD do best is humor. You two oughta take a page from Gavin’s book of punitry, or from Edroso’s book of well-crafted cynicism. Youse twose are just sort of whiny, and you can’t even pull off the whining with the sort of panache that Edith Bunker had.
Meh. I’m done with Sadly, No! It’s (sadly) no longer any fun, which is what any liberal project oughta be.
Snorghagen said:
>Millions of deserving, worthwhile human beings[….]
There‘s your problem: you don’t seem to understand that human beings are at root totally depraved, and really only worth anything if their net worth is high or they are useful to those so.
Oil-Boi, don’t let the door hit yer ass on the way out.
kthnxbai.
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I too have never commented at S,N! before, and in a protest against Cerberus’ posts I will never comment here again.
Aside from the first nine words the first two sentences actually make sense. Get to the third sentence and the first nine words make sense. In fact if the last two sentences were translated into lolcat one would find any adorability coated in hateful crap.
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I hate to admit it, but quite often I can follow what passes for “logic” in wingnut writing. I mean, if you assume whatever fucked-up, contra-factual (they’re freedom fighters, honest) premises that they obviously believe, everything more or less follows from there, not unlike a trail of reeking liquid shit from the asshole of a diseased and staggering goat.
This? I got nuthin’. I mean, it might be that I’ve been sick as hell for three days and I haven’t had anything like enough sleep lately, but I still can’t even visualise Planet Wingnut well enough to get from Point A to Point B on Chantrill’s mental map.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 28, 2011 at 2:25
Conservatives are pro-life
“You can tell, because of all the capital punishment, bombing of other countries, and eradication of environment they support.”
–not to mention all the organic-farmed, locally grown, sustainable agriculture conservatoids out there boycotting factory-produced crap sold in culturally homogenizing national chains like Walmart and Target.
Viva la difference!
Are organic-farmed conservatives somehow less covered in manure than ordinary ones?
MORE covered, of course–that’s how you can tell they’re locally grown when you see them stacked up on the roadside tables.
Be careful, though, just like the “new car” in a can that used car salesmen allegedly use, I hear Safeway is spraying their tasteless produce with dirt and shit produced in China.
i’m a little confused about the sterility of modern architecture and its connection to the barren nature of the trust fund.
About Snorg’s link – does she ever wonder about the logical outcome of millions of men thrust together with no other sexual outlet?
China in the future will be fabulous!
i’m a little confused about the sterility of modern architecture and its connection to the barren nature of the trust fund.
This discussion can be inscrutable, but I find it inconceivable that anyone would think it’s unbearable.
[…] comment extensively on this phenomenally stupid article at the American Stinker, but S,N! already has it covered, and I’m suffering a cold, so I […]
INCONTHEIVABLE!
i’m a little confused about the sterility of modern architecture and its connection to the barren nature of the trust fund.
When you have to start dipping into principal to pay for your McMansions, you cut corners.
Are organic-farmed conservatives somehow less covered in manure than ordinary ones?
Nope! It’s just that their shit don’t stink.
I hate to admit it, but quite often I can follow what passes for “logic” in wingnut writing.
I see the problem right off…
Cerb, I want to add my hat-tip for the “read rest of this entry” addition. Thank you.
Conservatives are pro-life and fecundity.
Did anyone else think of the opening sequence of Idiocracy after reading that?
Wait…WND means WorldNetDaily?
I had thought all along it was Weapons of Neuronal Destruction.
[…] Sadly, No!: Tantrum in C for Strings and Harp […]
Derek said,
December 28, 2011 at 11:10 (kill)
One of the WORST purity concern troll acts I have ever seen.
Wait…WND means WorldNetDaily?
We’re NUTS! Derp!
Can you change “Read the rest of thei entry” to just say “Moar”? Cause that would add just a dollop of awesome sauce…
Upon further consideration, I am VERY CONCERNED INDEED about this sullying of the glorious icon of Amerikin Mudderhood by cravenly using the uterine Grail of fecundity itself as a mere semantic MacGuffin to enable Chantrill to slap a coat of cooter-decanted whitewash over Boehner’s tax-cut EPIC ƒAIL.
Plainly, it is a post that is anti-life & pro-terrorism.
Christopher Chantrill is making Duggar Babies #62-78 cry!
In America this is called “jail”.
I don’t understand why “overpopulation” is in scare quotes. I think that wingnuts think that if they put a problem in quotes it will simply go away.
Let’s see if this works:
“water shortage”
Cerb, I want to add my hat-tip for the “read rest of this entry” addition. Thank you.
“Please, please like me, everyone.” – actor212
Yeesh, how pathetic.
I’ve seen some of these arguments before. Let me think…
Oh, yeah, I’m reading a biography of Margaret Sanger, and these are arguments against her from circa 1912.
Chantrill is lucky that these days he won’t be arrested for even mentioning birth control. A hundred years ago, maybe the scare quotes would have kept him out of prison.
Yeesh, how pathetic.
Another fanboi. I’m thrilled I can keep you in suspense.
Sexism is the most ancient ism, identified in Genesis 3 when God foresaw that physically bigger and stronger man would dominate smaller and weaker woman as one consequence of sin entering the world.
so, god’s an mra-er?
Christopher Chantrill is making Duggar Babies #62-78 cry!
okay…hot coffee spewing out one’s nostrils? not. fun.
so, god’s an mra-er?
the original, i meant…
I’ve said before the growing Chinese gender gap is perfectly suited to grow a Chinese military full of volatile men who will never marry, hyper-testosteroned, with no place to put it*
*vgoatser?
*vgoatser?
You have Mickey Kaus’ undivided attention
I don’t understand why “overpopulation” is in scare quotes.
Because the wingnuts are worried that the swarthy brown peoples (eeeek!!!) are outbreeding us.
Because the wingnuts are worried that the swarthy brown peoples (eeeek!!!) are outbreeding us.
So white people are to blame for the abortion problem?
You’re attempting to use logic. I’d recommend against that when trying to dissect right-wing policy statements. It’s a sure path to insanity.
It’s a sure path to insanity.
And here I thought it was the peyote.
The Taj Mahal gave me, like, five different kinds of herpes.
Gee, spearfahoc— you weren’t supposed to fuck it. Even I know that.
O.K., “word salad” doesn’t really cover this special screed because what we’re looking at here is a full-blown fugue state.
I’ ve the maturity to accept that I may never catch up on all the sadlyno! comment threads or read all the posts now that our sadlyno! overlord of prolificness is being so prolificky— but I just have barely enough maturity to accept it.
O.K., “word salad” doesn’t really cover this special screed because what we’re looking at here is a full-blown fugue state.
There are so many clang associations, it’s more of a concerto for cymbals.
There are so many clang associations, it’s more of a concerto for cymbals.
needs moar cowbell…
I suppose that the president’s chief objective in this vicious little fight was to remind the voters which of the two parties was the Stupid Party.
I think that was rather your party’s aim. Mission accomplished.
I thought that the FICA payroll taxes were sacred
Well, yes, they should be inviolate, and a better option would have been to raise both the floor and the ceiling, but that ship has sailed. The concerned act is cute, though.
But at least you are tacitly admitting that the crushing taxes that Democrats have laid on the brow of labor are a problem.
Dear God, crushing? Don’t conservatives long for the glory days of the post-war period? Or does everyone have a goatee in their reality?
my accumulated balance is useless to me until I retire. Same with unemployment: useless unless I lose my job.
Is this guy insured? Cuz guess what? And even though your 401k is your money, there are still restrictions on how you can use it. There are sneaky ways of investing it in your own company, but you’re really supposed to pay taxes on it if you use it for personal, non-emergency money. If you take a loan from it and then lose it all, you’re not only out the money but you definitely will have to pay taxes and a nasty penalty when you can’t pay it back. This is why they really really recommend you not do that. Like Cerb says, a much better way would be to make sure people don’t have to gamble their and their families whole futures.
About Snorg’s link – does she ever wonder about the logical outcome of millions of men thrust together with no other sexual outlet?
China in the future will be fabulous!
China my China, I’ve wandered around and you’re still here
(which I guess you should be proud of)
Your walls have enclosed you, have kept you at home for thousands of years
(but there’s something I should tell you)
All the young boys are dressing like sailors
Also, sterile buildings screed makes me laugh. I hope his doctor’s office reads his column before they waste those used gloves and tongue depressors!
before they waste those used gloves and tongue depressors!
As long as they have enough Elmer’s, construction paper, and glitter, there will be no waste.
[a]s long as they have enough Elmer’s, construction paper, and glitter[…]
and ponies.
The Taj Mahal gave me, like, five different kinds of herpes.
Gee, spearfahoc— you weren’t supposed to fuck it. Even I know that.
What a waste of the world’s greatest erection by a man for a woman.
Little known fact: the Eiffel Tower is the world’s greatest erection by a man for a city.
“Sterilized” – you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means.
China my China, I’ve wandered around and you’re still here
Tigris wins
the InternetTiger Mountain.by strategy?
So. Much. Climbing.
So. Much. Climbing.
That’s what she said.
Wait…what?
Boy Howdy!
Y’all have pounded the POOP out of my pimp link, meaning (I theorize) that YOU REALLY LIKE MY KITTEH. 🙂
So, if you need a 2012 calendar, that’s a good one. L.E. is also in the 2012 Balloon Juice calendar, albeit in a much smaller photo in the month of October. Both good causes, and LarryElvis was thrilled to raise more than $1000 for one of them with nothing more than a photograph.
.
poop
poop
Ah. See. That would explain this
Official Neocon Dictionary in a shredder and then paste up random strips of paper until one ran out of mucilage. Word salad doesn’t even *begin* to describe it.
I’d call it extremely high entropy.
What the fuck? Derek’s post, like those of most of our recent concern trolls (here’s lookin’ at you, Denny), is just plain boring. It’s long-winded, repetitive and completely lacking in the hilarious phrases we once enjoyed from Sadly Trolls.
Whatever happened to classic trolling techniques? Gone are the days of “Bookmark it libs!”, “The fact is” and “adress my post”. I didn’t read a single meme-worthy sentence in that entire screed.
Meh. I’m done responding to Sadly, No! trolls until they decide to up their game.
Gone are the days of “Bookmark it libs!”, “The fact is” and “adress my post”. I didn’t read a single meme-worthy sentence in that entire screed.
Not even an “LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL”
Ugh, I just sat through a lunch where 15 minutes were spent listening to Wolf Blitzer administer the most obscene interview-themed blowjob ever to Mittens-bot and his maintenance specialist-er wife. CNN should be fined for that displaying that in the middle of the day.
I didn’t want to watch or listen to the tripe but it was like a massive train collision, I just couldn’t stop myself.
Anything about running a campaign in a post-reality alternate universe that is on a platform of nothing but lies and half-truths? Or about whether he’s worried about the public secret that no teatard will vote for him? Hahaha, of course not, just puffy questions about home life and exciting horse race questions about responding to the Newticle, with plenty of openings for repeating his tired stump sound bites and total disregard for facts. Our goddamn liberal media.
I need to start bringing a book to work.
I need to start bringing a book to work.
…and throw it at the TV.
I need to start bringing a book to work.
I use Burton’s “Anatomy of Melancholy” as my emergency book. Timeless wisdom, friendly authorial voice, heavy enough to throw at the TV. Also, too, available free to load on your phone for real emergencies.
Considerably lighter in tone and subject is the mixerman diaries, available on your phone and good for a bunch of laughs if you’ve ever come close to the music industry.
Via Crooks & Liars, the Ron Paul Newsletter, Twitter stream edition: http://twitter.com/#!/RP_Newsletter
Wear your hip waders!
A surge of Santorum!
A surge of Santorum!
The
YellowOFF-WHITE Tide!A surge of Santorum!
New headline: The Iowa Caucuses Are Dripping With Santorum!
Ron Paul’s Holiday Newsletter
The OFF-WHITE Tide!
Tide won’t get Santorum out.
If the pressure keeps up, Santorum could explode in the Iowa caucases.
Tide won’t get Santorum out.
And now, Iowa’s gushing acceptance of teh Frothmeister! I think the only solution is hot water, vinegar and baking soda.
The CNN article said that Santorum is appearing in every county in Iowa.
The CNN article said that Santorum is appearing in every county in Iowa.
Good for the corn crop.
So after using and tossing aside one sad, worn-out mouthpiece after another, teabaggers have finally decided to try out Santorum?
I’m sure that they’ll find Santorum more to their taste.
Mouthpiece:Santorum::news:WND
[i]”The wingnuts can’t even sustain their bad faith concern trolling through an entire essay anymore.”[/i]
The hell we can’t. Besides , who ever needed a mind numbed lefty robot around anyway, especialy when there are so many of them.
Don’t any of you have jobs? Are all you Alinskites camped out in some city park somwhere as part of some deflating “movement?” Having a Happy New Year in that tent? What a bunch of whiners.
I’ll tell you about movements.
And no , there’s no reason to read pointless pinko essays.
Campaign buttons are available. Stick Santorum on your lapel.
The hell we can’t.
You mean they can sustain their bad-faith trolling?
Don’t any of you have jobs?
Get back to me the next time you’ve crossed a line of thunderstorms at 4:00 AM on your third leg that night and then shot an ILS approach to minimums.
Things could start to get messy if the other candidates start to smear Santorum
Having problems? Maybe you just need some leafy vegetables in your diet.
No one remembers that is was the Democrats that wanted a full year extension to begin with and it was the GOP that refused that, hoping to force the tax hike that way.
When it was making the news that the GOP was trying to for a tax hike on the middle class right before the holiday season, only then did the GOP reluctantly allow a 2 month extension.
And while Winston Smith’s job a the Ministry of Truth, in George Orwell’s book ‘1984’, was to re-write history to match the whim of the Party’s decisions today, in America in 2011 Winston Smith is unemployed because no media outlet is allowed to remind of of anything that happened yesterday.
It’s only a matter of time before Santorum is swallowed by a wave of indifference.
Santorum just tends to leave a bad taste in people’s mouths
You really think Santorum could get squeezed out?
No matter what, Santorum will definitely leave a mark on the
pantypartySantorum will certainly be in the minds and on the lips of conservative pundits.
(yeah, it’s not original – but I couldn’t resist)
Oh, a pilot for a big airline corporation? Buy more stock, save your money and become a conservative. I’ll watch.
You really think Santorum could get squeezed out?
Between the twin butt-cheeks of public indifference.
can santorum really fill the needs of all americans?
Oh, a pilot for a big airline corporation? Buy more stock, save your money and become a conservative. I’ll watch.
*grabs popcorn, soda, Junior Mints*
I’m just sayin’, you may be waiting some time. You might have to break into the 2012 Apocalypse Doom! stores in your basement.
can santorum really fill the needs of all americans?
Only in the face of a mass evacuation of the Republican nominees.
santorum is pretty slick…he just might pull it out…especially since newt peaked early…
*grabs popcorn, soda, Junior Mints*
damn you! now i have the urge to break into the milk duds i found in my christmas stocking…
Santorum has all the elements to be the new GOP flavor of the month!
Hee! I got chocolate-covered raspberry jellies, and a year’s worth* of Crunchie bars.
*If I have one a month.
Nah, I’m sure Santorum’s momentum will come skidding to a halt very soon.
i don’t know…if he keeps his head in, he should come out on top…
Santorum has upped his game, so up yours!
Santorum is currently enjoying a frothy wave but like the other candidates he’ll soon be no more than a skid mark, washed out.
Our goddamn liberal media.
My whole life, I’ve watched television extremely little. Once I bought one just to watch it so I could figure out what people were talking about and why their thinking was so stupid, and this stupidity was so pervasive. Believe me, if you don’t watch television for a long time, and then start watching it again, it is truly FUCKING BIZARRE— I mean bat-shit, bizarro, how-the-fuck-can-anybody-by-this?! WEIRD.
It’s like three tabs of the brown acid.
Television is the force that uses thousands of people that are both gifted in manipulation and empty enough to raise it to an art form for the sole purpose of making people shut-down their critical thinking and focus all their frustrated energies on wanting something that will surely disappoint them; and then fall for it again and again.
Television is the force that uses thousands of people that are both gifted in manipulation and empty enough to raise it to an art form for the sole purpose of making people shut-down their critical thinking and focus all their frustrated energies on wanting something that will surely disappoint them; and then fall for it again and again.
Yes, but is it liberal and/or damned? Inquiring minds want to know! Or think they know! Or something!
(I just saw an ad on TV for “Happy Pills”. I swear, it took me three-quarters of the ad to realize they were serious. I thought it was a parody ad. I love Teevee, but it’s as much for the ironic disbelief as the entertainment.)
There’s always the possibility that the Republicans could drop Santorum.
I love Teevee, but it’s as much for the ironic disbelief as the entertainment.)
although we generally don’t watch the networks, hubbkf sometimes gets annoyed with me because i still find plenty to scoff and/or snort at…
although we generally don’t watch the networks, hubbkf sometimes gets annoyed with me because i still find plenty to scoff and/or snort at…
Ah, I do this. When an ad for one of OWN’s programs comes on TLC, and suddenly there’s Oprah saying “everything you do in life can teach you a lesson”, and I say “Like, ‘don’t do that again’?”. Or when the ShamWow guy says “it’s made in Germany; the Germans make good stuff”, and either I or my SO say “Like uniforms. And camps. And invasions of Poland”.
It makes the day go by like magic.
there’s Oprah saying “everything you do in life can teach you a lesson”
“Next time, Ogg barbecue mastodon outside cave.”
Ah, I do this. When an ad for one of OWN’s programs comes on TLC, and suddenly there’s Oprah saying “everything you do in life can teach you a lesson”, and I say “Like, ‘don’t do that again’?”. Or when the ShamWow guy says “it’s made in Germany; the Germans make good stuff”, and either I or my SO say “Like uniforms. And camps. And invasions of Poland”.
omg…we could totally watch tv together…i really crack myself up sometimes…oprah and reality tv are the EASIEST targets..
[i]”can santorum really fill the needs of all americans?”[/i]
The question is can a sanitarium be built for all the mind numbed lefty robots, liberal nut jobs, and Democratic KOO KOOs.
The question is can a sanitarium be built for all the mind numbed lefty robots, liberal nut jobs, and Democratic KOO KOOs.
omigod…stop! my side…it’s aching!
There’s a movement happening: SANTORUM!
Actually, the question seems to be “html…wtf?”.
Santorum is the answer! (When a dry-cleaner asks the question.)
There’s a movement happening: SANTORUM!
…there’s a kind of slush…all over the world tonight…
@bbkf: One of the things I love about my current SO is that he joins in on the snark, unlike my ex, who refused to find anything I ever said funny, even though I am completely hilarious (she said humbly). I love nothing more than an evening of comebacks at the TV, the more company, the merrier.
I mean, it’s like the mangoes here; there’s just so much stupid out there, it seems a shame not to share it with as many people as possible.
(But, having said that, it is my beddy-bye times. Sleep!)
Fuck, I can’t resist one more.
Santorum! A waste is a terrible thing to mind!
So are you eager to stand by Santorum? Many Republicans feel an intense pressure to dump Santorum.
“It is time to pinch out the Santorum jokes!’
— unfamous revolutionary Go Tse Dung
Santorum! A waste is a terrible thing to mind!
The magnificent Envelope wins a shiny new Internet Toobz!
I think we’ve just wiped out any support for Santorum on this thread.
The question is can a sanitarium be built for all the mind numbed lefty robots, liberal nut jobs, and Democratic KOO KOOs.
Wanna talk batshit insane?
Not even “whackjob loonytunes” like Kucinich or Nader can match the sheer bugfuck-crazy factor needed to go on TeeVee & advocate repealing child labor laws … or scrapping entire federal departments overnight, “on principle” … or unilaterally attacking Iran because FR33DOMZ! Let alone fighting like a tiger to defeat Obama before he can ruin America by perpetrating the infamy of … the exact same same ideas you were advocating a few months, weeks or MINUTES ago.
Someone’s got their little red wagon hitched to the Krazy Train.
Enjoy the ride!
I had to look swingeing up, as I had no idea what it meant. Luckily, Macs come with an Oxford dictionary and it knew that word. It means extreme.
I wasn’t under the impression this was an extreme cut, either.
…part of some deflating “movement?”
In the midst of a run* of santorum comments? I’m voting AChances for a brilliant parody troll of long-gone-and-hopefully-forgotten Art Chance.
*yes, intentional. Santorum, by very nature, spreads** everywhere.
** required
So, Mr. President, when you start monkeying around those taxes aren’t you desecrating the holy Trust Fund?
You campaign against the Democrats you have, not the Democrats you wish you had.
The government insurance programs like Social Security, unemployment, and worker’s comp. are terrible ideas, because they sterilize the workers’ savings.
What the hell does “sterilize the savings” mean? Also, he thinks that workers’compensation is a bad thing? Obviously, he’s never done a lick of real work in his life… he’s never considered the possibility that he could possibly be injured on the job, no matter how slim the chance? Sheeee-it…
So, Mr. President, when you start monkeying around those taxes aren’t you desecrating the holy Trust Fund?
The point of this sentence was to get a variant of “monkey” into the same phrase as “Mr. President [Obama]”. All else is commentary.
… he could possibly be injured on the job…
Paper cuts are theft!!1!
Which Republican candidate would you like to see win the Iowa primary?
(The comrades think a Santorum win would be the most entertaining result. The Santorum Surge!)
Well, it may be too much to ask for, but I’M kinda pullin’ for old Crazy-Eyes Bachmann. The ensuing hilarity that would ensue would be hilarious.
Go Tse Dung
What you did there. I see it.
*golf clap*
The point of this sentence was to get a variant of “monkey” into the same phrase as “Mr. President [Obama]“. All else is commentary.
Damn, how could I have missed that
dogwhistleair raid siren?There is indeed much to be said for the comic possibilities of a Bachmann victory. The important thing is that the Republican Clown Car be as full of as many Bozos as possible as long as possible.
The Democratic Clown Car has only one Bozo. No drama, but there will nevertheless be much high hilarity.
BBBB: I missed it too. Props to tensor!
Over at LGM, Warren Terra points out that the headline should have read “Santorum surges from behind!”
If you can get past Malin Ackerman’s inability to act, it’s pretty good. Not as good as the book, but what can you do? Besides killing Zach Snyder, that is.
Is it as good as the Saturday morning cartoon?
Over at LGM, Warren Terra points out that the headline should have read “Santorum surges from behind!”
“Santorum Leaves Mark on Iowa Caucus”
What the hell does “sterilize the savings” mean?
Take your ATM card, see, and boil up a pot of water…
Oh, a pilot for a big airline corporation? Buy more stock, save your money and become a conservative. I’ll watch.
I used to be a conservative. Then I got better.
Guys, can’t you see that all the Santorum jokes are making him sad and angry?
He’s so sad, he’s crying. He’s so mad, he’s frothing at the mouth.
Is Santorum the new Not-Romney of the week?
Santorum is spreading his message across Iowa.
Hee hee, I love that the guy talking about others being mind-numbed can’t figure out the italics tag.
I knew it wouldn’t be too far into the comments. Thank you for restoring my faith in cyberspace.
Will Bunch must have read the same thing: Santorum Surges From Behind
I’m so sorry the lack of phallic imagery made your dick wilt.
There is a reason that the building in their holiest of scriptures is called the Fountainhead.
hell yeah those dumb rePUGlicans got chess-mastered again! thank god obama is on our side. dude is unstoppable.