Dec
23

They Just Don’t Know How Lucky They Really Are




Posted at 15:08 by Tintin


ABOVE: Erika Johnsen (left) and two lucky duckies in a Chinese sweatshop

As my special Christmas gift to everyone, I offer you the relentlessly perky Erika Johnsen at Clownhall who displays the rare talent of seeing the bright side of other people’s suffering, a talent no doubt aided by the fact that Erika’s most painful moment so far in her brief life was when her mother bought her a pink cashmere sweater instead of the green one she had specifically and clearly requested.

Shorter Erika Johnsen, Clown Hall:
Sweatshops and Child Labor: In Defense of the Kardashians

    • Liberals should just shut up about child labor and sweatshops and acknowledge that they are simply the way the beneficent and invisible hand of the free market makes sure that poor children don’t starve to death.
  • Now for some tasty mangoes:

    This is another example of the type of headline that I never in a million years would have imagined myself writing, but yes, it’s true–I unexpectedly find myself jumping to the defense of the Kardashian family, of Kim Kardashian-fame.

    Is anyone else but Erika surprised that she finds it more remarkable that she would defend Kim Kardashian than that she would defend child sweatshops? You shouldn’t be because one of the questions on the wingnut welfare eligibility exam is to write an essay explaining the benefits of child sweatshops, poll taxes and climate change. (Cheap clothes! Republicans win!! Vineyards and beach resorts in Northern Scotland!!!)

    The liberal media, of course, has never taken umbrage with debauchery or poor judgment; in fact, they glorify it and bring it to the masses, because hey, it sells! But the liberal media do find themselves egregiously, outrageously, morally offended when they perceive that an ostensible slight to their bleeding-heart code of ethics, including the supposed exploitations and injuries caused by free enterprise, has occurred in their out-of-touch, uneducated community of ignorant idealogues.

    In other words, the media isn’t allowed to talk about the exploitation of child workers until they start complaining about people in sitcoms fornicating off-camera. It’s a little known fact but talk about sex on television has ruined more children’s lives than sweatshops have. Think how much worse off those sweatshop children would be if they actually had time to watch television or even the money to afford a television. Am I right?

    Working long hours in hot, smelly, boring sweatshops for a very small wage does sound extremely horrible, especially in a deplorable communist nation fraught with government-sponsored human-rights abuses like China.

    No argument from me, but something tells me Erika is about to tell us that it’s not as bad as it sounds based on her own experiences working for more than a decade in a sweatshop. Well, maybe not based on her personal experience, although having to do the dishes when she was a teenager seemed pretty sweatshoppy at the time, which is what now allows her to opine so authoritatively on sweatshops in third-world countries.

    But here’s the question that the inane faux-crusaders currently boycotting the Kardashians’ clothing lines are utterly failing to ask: for the laborers working in the factories in these Third World countries, what are their alternatives?

    You know, people should ask themselves that question more often. If the northern aggressors had realized that the alternative to slavery for blacks was a poor, disease-ridden, Godless existence in an African jungle, we could have totally avoided that Civil War business.

    The alternatives to sweatshop labor in these usually socialist/dictator-controlled, poverty-stricken countries often amount to child prostitution, sexual slavery, the drug market, getting malaria while breaking your back in a rice paddy, or just living in squalor and starving to death.

    Of course, by this measure you can argue for the benefits of child prostitution by noting that it still beats malaria in a rice paddy or starving to death. The only problem is that Erika doesn’t get cheap cocktail ensembles from child prostitution.


    ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

    312 Comments »

    1. boconn13 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 15:40

      Her prose reads like so many other crappy wingnut essays that I start to think this is not written by an actual human being. More like some horrible robot experiment gone awry…Frank Luntz: The Clone War Continues…beep…click…whirr…regurgitate…

    2. Major Kong said,

      December 23, 2011 at 16:11

      Wow. Just wow. Every time I think they can’t get any lower they break out a shovel and start digging.

    3. Thorlac said,

      December 23, 2011 at 16:23

      In this case, she exploited some Asian children to do the digging for her.

    4. Dot said,

      December 23, 2011 at 16:25

      Indeed. What are the alternatives? The mind boggles.

    5. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 16:33

      A rising tide lifts all boats, except those too poor to afford boats with hulls. Get to work, Ching-mien!

    6. Gerald Fnord said,

      December 23, 2011 at 16:36

      If you believe that the Most Holy Market creates the best of all possible worlds, then anything else will obviously be worse.

      Of course, when arguing that it’s best, what’s in play is The Free Market; when someone points out problems, all of a sudden you can notice all the Socialism still there.

      That’s the beauty of a mixed economy: anything good comes from the Market and in spite of all the Socialism; anything bad is from all that Socialism, against which that most puissant Market were powerless.

    7. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 16:36

      Working long hours in hot, smelly, boring sweatshops for a very small wage does sound extremely horrible, especially in a deplorable communist nation fraught with government-sponsored human-rights abuses like China.

      She makes sweatshop labor seem so…middle class.

      Sweatshops violate women’s human rights throughout the world. Common abuses include low wages that fail to meet basic costs of living, substandard and unsafe working and living conditions, long hours of overtime for which employees are not compensated, and sexual harassment. In addition to these, women are often forced into indentured servitude. Lured by recruiters who promise wonderful opportunities in foreign lands, young women often pay thousands of dollars in recruitment and contract “fees”, tying themselves to contractual obligations that can last for years. Because their wages are often only $.10 to $.20 per hour, the women may receive no wages for years as they attempt to pay off these debts. If the women try to return home without fulfilling their contractual obligations, they are often blacklisted, fined, or arrested. Many women are not paid even without such debt. Sweatshops often fail to pay their employees on time, if at all. The workers, who are often unaware of their rights, have no choice but to continue to work because sweatshop managers threaten and punish them for insubordination.
      Many of these factories, as well as the women’s living quarters, are crowded, filthy, and rat-infested. They are located behind barbed wire fences that are monitored by armed guards. Not only are the women not allowed to come and go freely, but they are forbidden to have visitors. Thus, they are not given the opportunity to air their grievances to anyone who may be in a position to help them. Additionally, the women are always under the threat of corporal punishment. The women are verbally abused, spat on, and beaten. They are not allowed to take breaks or go to the bathroom during their shifts, and are fined if they do so. In some Indonesian sweatshops, women were forced to take down their pants and reveal to factory doctors that they were menstruating in order to claim their legal right to menstrual-leave (Morey, 2000). Female sweatshop employees are forced to endure numerous instances of sexual harassment. Additionally, managers often make false promises for better jobs in return for sexual favors. In a Samoan apparel plant, the factory owner routinely entered the womens’ barracks to watch them shower and dress (Greenhouse, 2001). A 20/20 investigation in Saipan sweatshops discovered that pregnant employees were forced to have abortions in order to keep their jobs (20/20 special investigation, 2000). These women are often faced with little if any choices. They are prohibited from unionizing, and face the loss of their job, physical abuse, or deportation if they try to better their situation.

      Sweatshops are not restricted to factories. Agricultural workers all over the world are subject to poor working conditions, low wages, and unhealthy working environments. Women make up a large portion of field workers. They are exposed to toxic pesticides and strenuous working conditions that lead to a number of health problems (Co-op America, 2001). Like factory sweatshop workers, they are not given adequate healthcare, if any, and are prohibited from unionizing. Even in the U.S., agricultural workers are not guaranteed legal rights to minimum wage, workers compensation, and overtime pay (Co-op America, 2001).

    8. paleotectonics said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:05

      You know, if you bleeding-hearts had been in charge when our Lord and Savior and Sponsor of The Greatest Quarterback (TM) had been born two thousand years ago, he would have been born in a hospital, and Mary would have been given pre-birthal care, and she never would have married Joseph because lesbians, and Joseph himself would have been a union carpenter and lazy, and Jesus would have had free school lunches and teachers, probably New York-style intellectuals (if you know what I mean, and you libs do because you’re the real anti-Isreallis). And an Xbox and iPhone. And He would not have had any ambition and would not have become God and led to two thousand years of peace before we had a president who so hated the colonies (especially Caprica and Kevlar) that he killed Bin Laden, starting the war in Afghaniran and the War on Christmas and the Class War.

      Merry Christmas, Sadlies! Go Pack!

    9. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:05

      Producing goods more expensively in the United States for the sake of humane conditions does not grow our own economy…

      Ehh, what?
      ~

    10. N__B said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:11

      If god did not want them sheared, why did he make them sheep poor brown children?

    11. tsam said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:23

      Whoa! What the fuck happened here?

      I unexpectedly find myself jumping to the defense of the Kardashian family, of Kim Kardashian-fame

      Writing, of Tom Clancy-fame is hard.

    12. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:23

      And He would not have had any ambition and would not have become God and led to two thousand years of peace

      Suddenly, I’m reminded of that scene between Sean Connery and Harrison Ford in Raiders: Last Crusade

      “You call this peace?”

    13. Jennifer said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:26

      What the Clownhallers most fear appears to have happened – the comments section seems to be infested by the 99%, with various commenters pointing out that there’s nothing stopping the Kardashians, legally, from paying people more to work in those sweatshops, and other commie-inspired propaganda points.

    14. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:28

      I know we’ve had our differences, but this must be said:

      actor212 said,
      December 23, 2011 at 16:36

      +1

    15. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:31

      Also too, thanx Tintin for bringing us this idiot. Wow, she is just about as vapid and unintelligent as I have ever seen – and that’s including actor’s mom.

    16. Helmut Monotreme said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:38

      Major Kong, I just read in the newspaper that the UPS pilot’s union is challenging the FAA rules so that cargo pilots would be covered by the new anti fatigue rules.

    17. mew said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:43

      So one of the chief drawbacks to child labor is that the factories are “boring”?

    18. tigris said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:49

      Obviously, the alternative is to keep those child jobs here in the homeland! Than maybe we can compete with the free market forces of communist dictatorships.

    19. Helmut Monotreme said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:05

      So one of the chief drawbacks to child labor is that the factories are “boring”?

      So we are to be “blessed” with a generation of citizens who got all of their education in a sweatshop, who are as inured to suffering as we are to television commercials, who have no options to improve their lot but by violence?

    20. witty1 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:07

      Alternate shorter: The US should invade those usually socialist/dictator-controlled, poverty-stricken countries because it might work this time.

    21. Tehanu said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:07

      their out-of-touch, uneducated community of ignorant idealogues

      For someone who likes to accuse compassionate people of ignorance, she sure can’t spell.

    22. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:10

      that’s including actor’s mom.

      Mom was at least smart enough to get a deposit from your credit card company first.

    23. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:11

      So one of the chief drawbacks to child labor is that the factories are “boring”?

      Shoe boxes make lousy X-boxes

    24. Thread Bear said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:32

      I’m afraid that for people like Erika, the term sweatshop probably conjures up the image of a bunch of kids getting paid to work out at L.A. Fitness.

    25. Steerpike said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:34

      Heym remember Sher Zieve? Still out there bringin’ teh crayzee:

      Are you as tired as am I about the talking heads — leftists, RINO and faux conservatives — advising us on an almost daily basis that “If we don’t stop it (presumably the government, Obama and maybe even Obama’s sycophant Congress) we’re heading for ‘European-style Socialism.’” Ahhh…as if that were the only thing about which we have to worry. Of course, the truth is that the [former] USA is not heading for Euro-Socialism. Instead, it is careening at full speed — with no discernable braking — into full-fledged Marxist Communo-Fascist elitist-ruled Islamo-Drug cartel Narco/Nazi State — replete with its own apparent and visible concentration camps. Said State has been meticulously planned over, at least, decades and is now being forcefully implemented against We-the-People who seem to have been replaced by “We-the-Sheeple.”

    26. N__B said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:38

      Via the Great Orange Satan:

      Charles Krauthammer:
      The Democrats set a trap and the Republicans walked right into it. By rejecting an ostensibly bipartisan “compromise,” the Republican House was portrayed as obstructionist and, even worse, heartless — willing to raise taxes on the middle class while resolutely opposing any tax increases on the rich.

    27. Thread Bear said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:56

      the Republican House was portrayed as obstructionist and, even worse, heartless — willing to raise taxes on the middle class while resolutely opposing any tax increases on the rich.

      fixatated

    28. Thread Bear said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:59

      the Republican House was portrayed as IS obstructionist and, even worse, heartless — willing to raise taxes on the middle class while resolutely opposing any tax increases on the rich.

      Refixed for full accuracy.

    29. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 18:59

      By rejecting an ostensibly bipartisan “compromise,” the Republican House was portrayed as obstructionist and, even worse, heartless — willing to raise taxes on the middle class while resolutely opposing any tax increases on the rich.

      Yes, because 83% of Republican Senators clearly became turncoats to the cause.

    30. Pupienus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:04

      I’ve always said when a gay person gains a right based on their homosexuality, I, as a Christian, lose a right.

      Civil rights are a finite resource. Gay rights is theft!

      http://www.therightscoop.com/univ-of-buffalo-suspends-christian-group-after-asking-gay-leader-to-resign/

    31. Thread Bear said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:04

      My favorite part about the Boehner Boner is that when all the other Republcan Stars came out to criticize him for what he did, every single one of them talked about how his decision affected the PARTY. Not a single one of them seemed to be worried in any way about how it might affect the COUNTRY.
      GOP – Party first! And America can just deal with it.

    32. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:07

      Civil rights are a finite resource. Gay rights is theft!

      Every time a homo marries, a store gets looted.

    33. Pupienus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:12

      why not uh, why not do the right thing for the American people – even though it’s not exactly what we want?

    34. Pupienus Maximus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:13

      It’s even better/worse than that, Thread Bear.

      BoB: why not uh, why not do the right thing for the American people – even though it’s not exactly what we want?

    35. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:20

      why not uh, why not do the right thing for the American people – even though it’s not exactly what we want?

      If I’m Obama, I emblazon that on the side of my campaign bus.

    36. Thorlac said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:29

      into full-fledged Marxist Communo-Fascist elitist-ruled Islamo-Drug cartel Narco/Nazi State

      Ok, which one of you is ghostwriting for Shere Zeve? This sounds like something I’d read here, only intended as a joke.

    37. 59 Les Paul, Packer shareholder said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:30

      paleotectonics said,

      December 23, 2011 at 17:05

      Damn straight, sir. Just keep your savior offa my Pagan Solstice Festival, por favor.

    38. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:31

      Damn straight, sir. Just keep your savior offa my Pagan Solstice Festival, por favor.

      And a happy fucking Festivus to you too!

    39. 59 Les Paul, Packer shareholder said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:32

      I gave up on Festivus after my tongue got stuck to the aluminum pole one year.

    40. tigris said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:37

      into full-fledged Marxist Communo-Fascist elitist-ruled Islamo-Drug cartel Narco/Nazi State — replete with its own apparent and visible concentration camps

      Needs more HOMO.

      I’ve always said when a gay person gains a right based on their homosexuality, I, as a Christian, lose a right.

      You know, Christians don’t actually have a right to deny rights to people based on their homosexuality, so you’re more losing a privilege you shouldn’t have had in the first place.

    41. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:38

      hot, smelly, boring sweatshops for a very small wage

      damn…mew beat me to it, but rilly?!? she really felt she had to include ‘boring’ to the list? wow…yes, i can imagine all these half starved and overworked and completely exploited women and children sewing their 98th garment of the morning going, ‘man, i am totes BORED with this job…’

      holy shit…

    42. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:43

      You know, Christians don’t actually have a right to deny rights to people based on their homosexuality, so you’re more losing a privilege you shouldn’t have had in the first place.

      ahem, tigris…i believe that IS covered under the third thematic point of manifest destiny:

      3.the destiny under God to do this work

      so, put a christmas book mark on it, lib!

    43. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:45

      As my special Christmas gift to everyone

      Um, thank you? Oh okay, sure, thank you.

    44. Hogeye Grex said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:53

      Merry Cthristmas, everyone.

    45. Jennifer said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:57

      Awesome, Hogeye. I shoulda had that photo for my Cthulhumas post the other day.

    46. Pupienus Maximus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:08

      As my special Christmas gift to everyone,

      Why thank you! It’s what I always wanted. Just not very much.

    47. g said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:10

      full-fledged Marxist Communo-Fascist elitist-ruled Islamo-Drug cartel Narco/Nazi State — replete with its own apparent and visible concentration camps.

      Party time!!!!

    48. DAS said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:17

      Vineyards and beach resorts in Northern Scotland

      Actually, isn’t one of the predicted effects of global warming that the gulf stream will weaken, thus making northwestern Europe much colder?

    49. N__B said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:20

      Actually, isn’t one of the predicted effects of global warming that the gulf stream will weaken, thus making northwestern Europe much colder?

      Jake Gyllenhal will save us!

    50. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:21

      The alternatives to sweatshop labor in these usually socialist/dictator-controlled, poverty-stricken countries often amount to child prostitution, sexual slavery, the drug market, getting malaria while breaking your back in a rice paddy, or just living in squalor and starving to death.

      You know, I work with people from China, and while they are very very happy not to be in China any more this is, um, somewhat overdramatic. Mind you, I expect Wal-Mart to be making purchasing inroads in North Korea any second now.

    51. Pupienus Maximus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:23

      Actually, isn’t one of the predicted effects of global warming that the gulf stream will weaken, thus making northwestern Europe much colder?

      Not exactly. Fresh water from the melting glaciers and ice caps could result in sufficient density change to basically shut the gulf stream down entirely. There is evidence that such has happened before. That would indeed make most of Europe MUCH colder.

      I should note as well that SWcotland already has palm trees.

    52. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:27

      Jake Gyllenhal will save us!

      gosh, i hope i’m going to need mouth-to-mouth!

    53. DAS said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:27

      PM,

      Thank you for the clarification. I have heard of the palm trees in SW Scotland … but … are you implying that coconuts are migratory?

    54. N__B said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:29

      are you implying that coconuts are migratory?

      They can be carried there by swallows.

    55. jim said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:30

      If I have no clue what this story is about, I’m still only digging her shit much at all until 70 words in: “the liberal media” already tells me loud & clear that all that follows after it will be bunk. Interestingly, as if the phrase tripped an OFF switch in Erika’s noggin, that’s exactly when the generic intro-babble stops & the heavy-lifting of the bullshit-shovel commences.

      What follows thereafter regarding this “liberal media” meat-dream amounts to “their icky-squicky sex & cussin’ ethically negates their big hissy fit every time a few hundred thousand more kids get pimped as slaves for commerce, which Conservapedia proved is due to the cosmic aura generated throughout the universe by ectoplasmic Reaganomics-ions. Q to tha E to tha funky cold D, libtard sheeple.”

      Which is false.

      Bleeding hearts are all well and good, but the all-heart, no-head approach to problem-solving almost unfailingly causes more pain than it does gain.

      “Those kids will come to HAET you for helping them to get basic human rights or a real shot at comfort, peace & prosperity! Wanting to actively improve the lives of industrial child-slaves is TEH STOUPPEDIST TH!NG EV@RZ!”

      … what are their alternatives?

      Well … ONE alternative is for the status quo to slither on downhill apace, systematically turning everyone’s air, water & food more & more poisonous – as well as quite possibly leading to Erika (& many like her) getting to learn first-hand just how much jolly smashing fun & excitement it really is to become subhuman-status corporate chattel overnight by virtue of judicial whimsy.

      ANOTHER alternative is for the well-off countries to get their collective thumbs divorced from their collective arses & do a fucking 180 on this whole lowest-common-denominator mass-suicide fetish/schtick while they still can & set off a hardcore across-the-board race to the top, thus pre-empting (or at least delaying) the increasing likelihood of a very ugly future for Erika, her peer group, their putative spawn & kin.

      I find that I can only adequately respond to Erika’s choice as to which alternative to jiggle her pompoms for with someone else’s words:

      I hate victims who respect their executioners.” (Jean-Paul Sartre)

    56. Thread Bear said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:45

      Don’t let Tintin fool you. This is actually a War on Christmas present.

    57. Pupienus Maximus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:46

      They can be carried there by swallows.

      How quickly?

    58. That Girl said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:47

      Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?

    59. N__B said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:48

      How quickly?

      It depends on the swallows’ airspeed.

    60. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:48

      Homestyle Christmas everybody!!
      Penitent Christmas everybody!!
      Poignant Christmas!
      Rambling Christmas!
      Bland Christmas!
      Waxen Christmas everybody!!
      Stunted Christmas everybody!
      Shattering Christmas everybody!
      Abnormal Christmas everybody!
      Insane Christmas everybody!
      Ambitious Christmas!
      Punishing Christmas!
      Slender Christmas!
      Conspicuous Christmas!
      Ambitious Christmas everybody!
      Animal Christmas everybody!
      Defective Christmas everybody!
      Penitent Christmas everybody!!
      Foulmouthed Christmas!
      Unrealistic Christmas!
      White Christmas!

    61. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:50

      Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?

      You have to buy the cheapest thing. THAT IS THE LAW OF THE MARKETPLACE. You can see that the theory of evolution is only a theory.

    62. Major Kong said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:51

      Major Kong, I just read in the newspaper that the UPS pilot’s union is challenging the FAA rules so that cargo pilots would be covered by the new anti fatigue rules.

      Cool. Don’t know how much luck they’ll have.

      I was busy enjoying a rare (for me) daytime flight.

    63. BringTheNoise said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:59

      Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?

      You might think that – and it might very well look that way – but if you’re doing it to help FURRNERS, DARKIES OR TEH GAYZ it totes doesn’t count. That magically makes it Communism.

    64. jim said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:02

      I will be an infidel & work on Xmas, because I just hate Bebeh Jesus THAT MUCH.

      Also, holiday pay.

    65. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:04

      How quickly?

      It depends on the swallows’ airspeed.

      African or European

      It matters

    66. That Girl said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:05

      You might think that – and it might very well look that way – but if you’re doing it to help FURRNERS, DARKIES OR TEH GAYZ it totes doesn’t count. That magically makes it Communism.

      The really sad thing is that this is what they actually think.

    67. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:06

      Also, holiday pay.

      The Baby Jesus would approve

    68. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:09

      Abnormal Christmas everybody!

      abnormal IS my normal…

      You have to buy the cheapest thing. THAT IS THE LAW OF THE MARKETPLACE.

      unless you are part of the 1%…then you have to buy the MOST EXPENSIVE things…AND LOTS OF THEM…that way, the market balances out…

    69. actor212 said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:12

      I have heard of the palm trees in SW Scotland

      I’ve seen them in Ireland. They’re six foot or so, saw palms

      You can grow them in the northeast US, too. You have to be careful and swaddle them in burlap, like the babby Jesus, but they can overwinter.

    70. Steerpike said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:12

      How much do those cost?

      Too much.

      Good! Gimme too many!

    71. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:21

      How much do those cost?

      Too much.

      Good! Gimme too many!

      i see you are familiar with their ways…

    72. Cole said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:49

      Also, too, what the fuck is it with Invisible Hand Free Market Capitalism Rocks that they rank boycotts lower than torture on the morality scale? Really? Really? One can claim that among the virtues of unregulated capitalism is that it self-regulates according to demand, yet also shit bricks over consumers voting with their dollars?

    73. pedestrian said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:50

      Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?

      Nope. People deciding not to buy a product is the exact same thing as a monopoly, for some reason. It impedes the free functioning of the free market, for all definitions of “free” that maximize the wealth accumulation of our overlords. Econ 101.

      Also, it is illegal for unions to promote “sympathy boycotts” against the unfair labor practices of anyone other than their direct employers. I’m not sure if this provision of Taft-Hartley has ever been used to protect Chinese companies that have some U.S. presence, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

      Ironically, the UFW were able to boycott legally, only because farm workers are barred from most labor rights. Sometimes the screw comes back at you.

    74. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:50

      Also, too, what the fuck is it with Invisible Hand Free Market Capitalism Rocks that they rank boycotts lower than torture on the morality scale?

      If only granny could benefit from that Invisible Hand now that she’s out on the street in a cardboard box.

    75. Lunch Lady said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:52

      You gotta break a few eggs to make a flan, kid. In the end, it’s just custard.

    76. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:53

      unless you are part of the 1%…then you have to buy the MOST EXPENSIVE things…AND LOTS OF THEM…that way, the market balances out…

      Sometimes, though, those ungrateful 99%ers make you feel uncomfortable about this, so you have to buy less conspicuous indicators of your wealth–and it’s just SO UNFAIR!

    77. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 21:58

      A column from one of THEM:

      Our houses are decorated, our stockings are hung, our perfectly decorated trees aren’t even big enough to provide a canopy over the large number of gifts we’ve bought.

      So, why is it sometimes so hard to enjoy? Why do we gripe and snap? Why do we wake up with empty wallets and empty hearts, after snapping at our mothers? Griping at our fathers? Trying in vain to fight the resentment that builds in our hearts towards our sisters? After all, doesn’t she know I won’t fit into a medium sweater anymore? Is she trying to make a point that I haven’t maintained my figure? And seriously, who gives CDs anymore? Do I look like a KE$HA fan?

      Sometimes magazine articles try to advise us on how to have the perfect Christmas. But we won’t ever have those, will we? After all, we’re . . . well, we’re us.

    78. Steerpike said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:10

      File under First World Problems

    79. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:12

      A column from one of THEM:

      so, she’s saying over-buying makes baby jesus sad?
      .
      .
      .
      bu…bu…but she’s already bought a shit ton of presents!!!
      .
      .
      .
      oh…i see it, now…THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR…

    80. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:17

      File under First World Problems

      “The vast majority of my life decisions are made on the basis of whether or not I’ve already taken my pants off.”

      i laffed so hard, i snorted…

    81. Steerpike said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:22

      moar 1st world probs:

      “I tried using one-ply toilet paper because it’s better for the environment, but it ended up causing me to waste a lot more water than usual.”

    82. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:46

      moar 1st world probs:

      damn you for getting me addicted to a new time waster!

    83. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:47

      this sounds like every conversation with my mother:

      “I spent a lot of money on a French coffee press. I wish I actually liked coffee.”

      she is an uber-first worlder…

    84. tigris said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:51

      Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?

      No, see, only markets are free, people not so much.

    85. pedestrian said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:55

      If only granny could benefit from that Invisible Hand now that she’s out on the street in a cardboard box.

      If it weren’t for job-killing regulations, like anti-prostitution laws and the minimum wage, she might manage a few extra hours of misery.

    86. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 22:56

      like anti-prostitution laws and the minimum wage, she might manage a few extra hours of misery.

      WHY DO LIBERALS HATE GRANNIES?!!?!1/1

    87. Smut Clyde said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:08

      making northwestern Europe much colder

      Burning moar wicker-men will bring back the prosperity to Summerisle.

    88. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:11

      why do old people feel it necessary to encase the seals on their envelopes with scotch tape? do they really think that if their check is going to be intercepted by theives that it will deter them?!?!?

    89. Pupienus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:17

      First world problem. Have to decide between the foie gras from EuroTrash and the porchetta sandwich and lardo fries from Lardo. Just can’t eat that much.

    90. John Revolta said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:26

      Swallowing the coconuts
      Covering the cargo pilots
      Sticking your tongue to the aluminum pole

    91. bbkf said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:30

      bringing back the prosperity

    92. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:33

      Assessing the legacy.
      Complicating the pack fiend.
      Messing the barb.
      Swinging the shaman.
      Swinging the endorsement.
      Infesting the hag countess.
      Infecting the heart.
      Possessing the rainbowfish.
      Executing the master scorpion.
      Backing the red worm.
      Killing the oblivion mage.

    93. pedestrian said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:34

      why do old people feel it necessary to encase the seals on their envelopes with scotch tape? do they really think that if their check is going to be intercepted by theives that it will deter them?!?!?

      I thought it was because they didn’t have enough saliva to moisten the glue.

    94. pedestrian said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:35

      Oh!

      Moistening the glue

    95. address my envelope, lips! said,

      December 23, 2011 at 23:41

      I love First-World problems. My Nutella (pronounced Noo-TELL-ah, so they can tell you’re edumacated) is runny! My brie is too hard!

      My piano is runny too, but I think it’s the way I’m playing it…

    96. Bitter Scribe said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:01

      My nose is runny.

    97. John Revolta said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:09

      Spreading Joy
      Leaving a deposit at Tiffany’s
      Caroling

      Ho’-ho’-ho’-ing

    98. Spearhafoc, who is the Krampus said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:09

      I hear the Invisible Hand of the Market gives subpar handjobs.

    99. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:12

      Tearing apart the gargantuan python.
      Tattooing absurdities onto the feral horse.
      Questioning the brilliance.
      Being the brilliance.
      Obsessing the loved one.
      Judging the lover.
      Grinning the horseshoe crab.
      Grinning the refusal.
      Pinning the alpaca.
      Swinging the envisioning.
      Injecting the feminism.

    100. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:18

      My nose is funny, but it’s got the cutest little hairline scar on the end of it from where my brother tossed me into an open paint can as a wee lad.
      .

    101. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:38

      Injecting the feminism.

      Guilty!

    102. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:39

      Tattooing absurdities onto the feral horse.

      Is it too late to rename my son?

    103. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:41

      My nose is adorable. Sorry. It is impossible for me to be modest about it.

    104. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:44

      I am allowed to diarrhea-mouth stuff like that cuz I am drinking rum.

    105. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 0:48

      My nose is adorable. Sorry. It is impossible for me to be modest about it.

      I agree. It reminds me of the cute redheaded Jennifer that works at my nearby Aldi, who is young enough to be my daughter, I suspect.
      .

    106. daphne said,

      December 24, 2011 at 1:17

      another shorter (applicable to myriad situations): Count your blessings, Todd; at least you have a spine.

    107. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 24, 2011 at 1:24

      “I agree. It reminds me of the cute redheaded Jennifer that works at my nearby Aldi, who is young enough to be my daughter, I suspect.”

      More and more I find people are *young enough* to be my son/daughter.

    108. tensor said,

      December 24, 2011 at 1:30

      the comments section seems to be infested by the 99%, with various commenters pointing out that there’s nothing stopping the Kardashians, legally, from paying people more to work in those sweatshops, and other commie-inspired propaganda points.

      Which is why all of we teh 99% should be groaning under lashes in sweatshops — giving* us unmarketfree goodies like living wages, “free” time, and sick days just allows us to think mean thoughts about our betters, which makes Supply-Side Baby Jesus cry.

      Isn’t people deciding not to buy a product — for whatever reason — just the free market at work?

      No, no, no, a thousand times (at $0.01 a time) no! The ALMIGHTY PRICE** is everything, and substitutes for the judgements ‘nutters lack the intelligence, knowledge, and moral character to make.

      Despite fetishizing capitalism the way Froissart worshipped feudalism, these people really are the most extreme Marxists: he believed that economics drove all of human behavior. They are also the most extreme Leninists: everything is totally political, right down to whatever version of “Season’s Greetings” you say to them, and they’ll fight*** you over every last point. The only aspects of Marx and Lenin they despise is those men’s attempts, however flawed, to make a better, fairer world for the hands which create all wealth.

      Every time I think they can’t get any lower they break out a shovel and start digging.

      Shovel, Major? I believe you know a bit about bunker-buster munitions, which one needs to punch holes this deep in the crust of the earth.

      * by “giving” we mean TAKEN via direct labor actions over many decades

      ** warfare not included, because wars are free, you silly libs!

      *** for values of “fight” including only “whine”, “carp”, “bitch”, and “moan”.

    109. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 1:48

      More and more I find people are *young enough* to be my son/daughter.

      Yeah, it’s depressing. I don’t hit on them, at least. I have a shred of decency left in me, after all!

      I bet a quarter of the scooter guys in my gang are young enough to be sons of mine. Although I’m really probably not far above the median age, all-told.
      .

    110. S. cerevisiae said,

      December 24, 2011 at 1:50

      jim said,

      December 23, 2011 at 20:30

      Fuckin’ righteous rant, jim. Outstanding.

      And as for the subject of the OP, “boring” is probably the last way I would describe a sweatshop assembly line. When you are at constant risk of losing life or limb on an unsafe assembly line that you have been working at for 16 hours I really doubt you would be bored. Exhausted – yes but certainly not bored.

    111. S. cerevisiae said,

      December 24, 2011 at 3:57

      It’s worse than that it’s dead, jim.

    112. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:03

      It’s worse than that it’s dead, jim.

      I lurk, therefore I am!
      .

    113. vs said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:30

      I bet a quarter of the scooter guys in my gang

      It’s funny picturing a bunch of toughs in scooters…but it’s funnier to imagine them on Hoverounds.

    114. Anonymous said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:34

      into full-fledged Marxist Communo-Fascist elitist-ruled Islamo-Drug cartel Narco/Nazi State

      Michele is pissed. She was saving that for later.

    115. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:34

      It’s funny picturing a bunch of toughs in scooters…but it’s funnier to imagine them on Hoverounds.

      “Toughs”… ha! We’re The Mild Ones. :)

      Now fix your danged URL so’s I get the blogroll right!
      .

    116. S. cerevisiae said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:39

      It’s life jim but not as we know it.

      (got on a Star Trek riff)

    117. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:40

      (got on a Star Trek riff)

      Next thang ya know, those translucent, fried egg bastids are flying off a wall onto you back, and then the shit really hits the fan!
      .

    118. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:43

      NO
      KILL
      I
      .

    119. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:46

      But here’s the question that the inane faux-crusaders currently boycotting the Kardashians’ clothing lines are utterly failing to ask: for the laborers working in the factories in these Third World countries, what are their alternatives?

      Uh, since the products are destined for the American market, how about high safety standards and living wages, with regular inspections by U.S. Customs officials to ensure compliance?

    120. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:50

      More and more I find people are *young enough* to be my son/daughter.

      Your son is half a year old. Speaking of, how was teh seven hour car ride?

    121. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 24, 2011 at 4:57

      Re: Pupienus said,

      December 23, 2011 at 19:04

      There’s a delicious mango among the comments:

      He was looking for the gayest org at the University of Buffalo where he could have maximum gay sex with closeted homosexuals. Logic brought him to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. Option B: airport restroom during Republican National Convention.

    122. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:00

      The other reasons I’ll do a Xmas shift are the other people who alternate with me, who’d otherwise wind up doing 12 hours instead of 8. Everyone hates working holiday shifts … which explains why I love them (?!?).

      “boring” is probably the last way I would describe a sweatshop assembly line

      Back when I was a warehouse grunt at a recycling joint, nobody had any free time to remark much about monotony or alienation … too busy cursing in pain. Our pet name for the warehouse was “Hell” – as in, I had to swamp crap into a cube-van on 3-6 calls before we had to return to Hell to drop our load (heh heh). Ten months & change there of which about the first 25 minutes didn’t hurt, for a princely $6.35 per hour.

      Good timeƒ, good timeƒ.

    123. Major Kong said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:04

      I’m actually going to enjoy my first Christmas at home since I’ve been flying cargo (7 years).

    124. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:06

      I’m actually going to enjoy my first Christmas at home since I’ve been flying cargo (7 years).

      Salud!
      .

    125. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:11

      Yippee, another quotation!

      The GOP’s performance nicely reprises that scene in Animal House where the marching band turns into a blind alley and row after row of plumed morons plows into a brick wall, crumbling to the ground in an unceremonious heap.” (Charles Krauthammer)

      Testify, sister! TESTIFY!

    126. steerpike said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:14

      I’m getting a great picture visualizing a tough outlaw gang riding Segways…

    127. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:15

      The other reasons I’ll do a Xmas shift are the other people who alternate with me, who’d otherwise wind up doing 12 hours instead of 8. Everyone hates working holiday shifts … which explains why I love them (?!?).

      I’ll be working on Christmas as well- double pay is good, and the day will be quiet. It’s a cushy gig, after a couple of weeks of a real grind.

    128. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:18

      I’m getting a great picture visualizing a tough outlaw gang riding Segways…

      To clarify: Scooter have two wheels. One behind the other.

      The Piaggio MP3 might be an exception.

      Everything else is NOT a scooter.
      .

    129. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:22

      C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

    130. tigris said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:31

      But here’s the question that the inane faux-crusaders currently boycotting the Kardashians’ clothing lines are utterly failing to ask

      And really, people have to buy shitty rags unless they can come up with a reason that satisfies little miss Markets Should Be Free Kids Not So Much.

    131. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:45

      Hawg balls and hominy!

      Okay, I’m out for the near term. See you on the other side of something-or-other.
      .

    132. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:48

      Had a hankering for mangoes…

      What a stupid article, says nothing, defends greed. Typical liberal BS. I bet this writer really does know and like the Kardashians.

      Man, we’re through the looking glass here.

      Here’s a funny bit, from a guy with a high opinion of himself:

      Kim is beautiful on the outside, but besides her being an opportunistic money grabbing HO I am sure her insides are a walking Petri Dish and I wouldn’t hit that with a ten foot pole.

    133. Snowwy said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:48

      Does no one here have any memory at all? Jeez. That First World Problems site- it’s another project of Leonard Pierce, who used to post here!

      Don’t tell me we have NO ONE from the 2004-2006 period still here…

    134. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:50

      A glimmer of hope:

      I would love a brave, loyal, Town Hall loving conservative to please say something along the lines of, “I’m a free market loving Republican, but sweatshop labor deserves no defense. I know we disagree a lot, but maybe these folks on the other side are right about making that stuff here in America. I know several of my loved ones need jobs and would do it gladly.”

      gets squashed by dumb and ugly:

      SSoC,

      Why are you against families escaping poverty and not having their children be sold off as prostitutes?

    135. bbkf said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:56

      I had to swamp crap into a cube-van

      jim, how do you swamp crap? and into a cube-van, no less…just curious!

    136. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:57

      I’m getting a great picture visualizing a tough outlaw gang riding Segways…

      What an excellent fucking question! What say a patriot?

      Let’s try it in OUR OWN fucking country, FIRST?

      Now, furilla… bbl
      .

    137. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:58

      Why are you against families escaping poverty and not having their children be sold off as prostitutes?

      G-dammit — THIS was supposed to be the quote… oh, nevermind!
      .

    138. bbkf said,

      December 24, 2011 at 5:59

      I’m getting a great picture visualizing a tough outlaw gang riding Segways…

      or this?*

      *make sure your volume is engaged…

    139. wiley said,

      December 24, 2011 at 6:05

      Yes. For many of those girl children, and no doubt, boy children, too, being gang-raped by western business men is preferable to working in a sweat shop, chained to a table, and being beaten whenever you fall asleep.

      If this clown had thought to ask her clownish self what people working in factories in china thought, and then got the bright idea to do a search, she might have found that what a lot of workers are asking westerners to lobby for for these overworked, underpaid, badly treated workers who are regularly exposed to toxins, live in a company dorm (leaky warehouse) that they pay for (they’re in debt to the company store). and have no benefits whatesoever, WHAT THEY ARE ASKING US TO DO FOR THEM is to pressure the company owners, stockholders, and management to let them have ONE guaranteed day a week off.

    140. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 24, 2011 at 6:23

      jim, how do you swamp crap? and into a cube-van, no less…just curious!

      It’s not too different from frog-blasting the vent core.

    141. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 6:31

      Crap = recyclables.

      Mostly beer & pop empties, but the materials were all over the map. Soaking wet inch-thick cardboard & bright green plastic strapping come to mind as two particularly gruesome examples.

      Le Boss had me run the latter in a compactor over & over to well beyond the point of absurdity trying to get that uppity plastic to make a nice little block for him (the price was right). If it looped around you while being pulled into the machine by the compacting it could easily pop off a limb or cut you in half – happily, I was blessed with access to an OFF button.

    142. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 6:41

      how do you swamp crap?

      I stood at the receiving end of a wave of containers that the driver was hucking at me from outside said cube-van, so yes, it was EXACTLY like frog-blasting the vent core.

    143. N__B said,

      December 24, 2011 at 6:49

      Somehow vaguely on topic: we just watched A Christmas Story. I looked up some of the cast on IMDB afterwards, and it turns out that the actor who played Ralphie’s friend Flick, after a successful career as a child actor, went on to star in a lot of pron. Who knew there was a “Devil in Miss Jones 6″?

    144. bbkf said,

      December 24, 2011 at 7:13

      friend Flick, after a successful career as a child actor, went on to star in a lot of pron. Who knew there was a “Devil in Miss Jones 6??

      all of this just makes me say, ‘ewwwww’

    145. Mungen_Cakes said,

      December 24, 2011 at 11:38

      Been there done that. The Chinese factories actually have a problem losing female workers to the KTV bars. They come to the big city from the provinces looking for a factory job and before you know it they’re dressed in a cheongsam drinking wine mixed with Sprite while singing “Take Me Home Country Roads”. The foreign companies doing business there (cough cough, Japan) have KTV budgets for their executives. It’s institutionalized.

      They can make in a couple nights what their monthly wages were at the factory.

    146. Fabulous Max said,

      December 24, 2011 at 12:12

      [blockquote]Her prose reads like so many other crappy wingnut essays that I start to think this is not written by an actual human being. More like some horrible robot experiment gone awry…Frank Luntz: The Clone War Continues…beep…click…whirr…regurgitate…[/blockquote]

      I’ve been thinking for a while that what we call “conservatism” and “conservatives” might just be a random twitching of dead matter that we misinterpret as human words and actions because of our tendency to see patterns and meaning where there are none.

    147. pedestrian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 16:16

      before you know it they’re dressed in a cheongsam drinking wine mixed with Sprite while singing “Take Me Home Country Roads”

      Hey I do that for FREE

    148. Looch said,

      December 24, 2011 at 16:19

      because of our tendency to see patterns and meaning where there are none.

      “Reading entrails” has an updated meaning, perhaps?

    149. Looch said,

      December 24, 2011 at 16:22

      Christian Hucksters not fooling enough people:

      http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/12/is_kentuckys_ark_encounter_creationist_theme_park_sinking.php?ref=fpnewsfeed

      HAHA

      *awaits double post*

      FYWP

    150. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 24, 2011 at 16:45

      Here’s my waste reduction/diversion industry story – LEAFS SUCK has a composting program. For those of you in large municpalities that also collect organics separately, have you ever wondered what happens to it? Our collection schedule is weekly for organics, so those kitchen scraps get a fair amount of time to pre-ripen. One of our local facility – essentially an industrial scale compost pile collecting several truckloads daily – was receiving odour complaints. Apparently their biofilters were slightly out of whack – which happens since tending large and complex microbial colonies like that is more of an art than a science.

      We did some odour testing at the facility. This involved collecting air samples from the area around the facility as well as on site. On site apparently also included the “Transfer Room” – which is where the trucks dump their loads. It’s all enclosed. It’s intentionally poorly ventilated. It was August. A sample can take fifteen minutes to collect, not including set-up time. You never only take one sample, but the exact number has been blocked from my memory due to trauma.

    151. Lurking Canadian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 16:53

      Who knew there was a “Devil in Miss Jones 6??

      That franchise really went downhill after part four. They’ve really been just parodying themselves since then.

      On the sweatshop issue: I am not without sympathy to the argument that we need to allow imports from low wage countries. Poor peasants deserve a chance. But I will never yield on safety standards and working conditions. We have created laws that (1) make it illegal to make products unsafely in North America and (2) make it illegal to impose any kind of standards on imported goods.

      If that situation has any other goal than to make sure our products are made unsafely in China, I have not figured out what it is.

    152. Lurking Canadian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 16:56

      Oh and Happy Winter Solstice, everybody! The dragon should vomit the sun back up any day now. (Offer void in the Southern Hemisphere.)

    153. N__B said,

      December 24, 2011 at 17:03

      Does the offer evacuate in the southern hemisphere, too?

    154. tigris said,

      December 24, 2011 at 17:26

      It always comes back to p00p around here, doesn’t it?

    155. Conservative Green said,

      December 24, 2011 at 18:10

      Well child labor is not an entirely bad if it is not the sweatshop kind but the kind like were a child is working on a business owned by their family, it creates bonds and rugged individuality. And even then the child’s education should be a priority, not a secondary concern. The fact is that for artisan business we should return it to the artisan (Thomas Jefferson’s yeomen and chosen people) and get rid of factories entirely in that case! The only things produced in factories should be computers, cars and such things which the average Joe can’t produce on his own and they should be government controlled to the strictest possible degree to still allow competitiveness! And as for what is the alternative, it is simple to release the countries from foreign intrusion and lift all debts on them. The children will slowly poor into schools and the countries will decide on a model best for them! This is the really case with these countries if you read John Perkins and Naomi Klein! So basically the article which this capitalist nut wrote is basically idiotic because of all the holes in her argument!

      Oh by the way Capitalism is based off the idea that selfishness is a virtue therefor child prostitution is not far off!

      In case you are wondering I am a agrarian with some socialistic tendencies!

    156. N__B said,

      December 24, 2011 at 18:24

      tigris said,
      December 24, 2011 at 17:26

      It always comes back to p00p around here, doesn’t it?

      Not if we export it southwards.

    157. digitusmedius said,

      December 24, 2011 at 18:32

      How old is this brat, twelve?

    158. Snorghagen said,

      December 24, 2011 at 19:06

      In case you are wondering I am a agrarian with some socialistic tendencies!

      I once knew a Rotarian with some anti-social tendencies.

    159. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 19:19

      That franchise really went downhill after part four. They’ve really been just parodying themselves since then.

      I can’t STAND when that happens!

      Just in case you might’ve been considering giving it a try: Ass Blasters 19? A tragic letdown that’s TOTALLY contemptuously derivative of the artist’s original idea … & the insoucience & puckish joy of the former cast has been replaced by formulaic mechanical “performances” by the hacks that stole their roles. They WOULD mail it in, if they could be bothered to lick a stamp … & their lovely “High-End New Jersey Whorehouse, circa 1973″ set-decor has been thrown over in favour of what seems for all the world to be a Byelorussian secret prison.

      Not to mention that their new butthole-groomer needs to visit an optometrist ASAP.

    160. Pupienus said,

      December 24, 2011 at 19:42

      I have a new favorite Christmas movie. Rare Exports. The DVD has the shorts – get it and watch it today.

    161. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:16

      My DVD wears the pants.
      .

    162. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:19

      Nationalize teh cowpies?

    163. Snorghagen said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:24

      My DVD wears the pants.

      My DVD wears a cheongsam and sings Take Me Home Country Roads.

    164. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:35

      I’M IN YR SKIEZ KILLIN YR SECRECIEZ

    165. Looch said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:36

      TEST FYWP

    166. Looch said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:40

      Comments here are like a ketchup bottle,
      None will come and then a lot’ll.

      (Apologies to O. Nash)

    167. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 24, 2011 at 20:54

      None will come and then a lot’ll.

      Or as I like to call it, LEAFS SUCK.

    168. Smut Clyde said,

      December 24, 2011 at 21:00

      None will come and then a lot’ll.

      Something something axolotl.

      Ha Ha it is $mas here and we are gathered under the Pohutakawa tree opening your presents.

    169. jim said,

      December 24, 2011 at 21:10

      ‘SUP

    170. Whale Chowder said,

      December 24, 2011 at 21:15

      Conservative Green said,

      Oh dear bog I hope that’s a parody. If it is, bravo, I say!

      Ha Ha it is $mas here and we are gathered under the Pohutakawa tree opening your presents.

      You won’t be able to use them because they’re all upside down and this confuses your simple people.

    171. N__B said,

      December 24, 2011 at 21:25

      Conservative Green has neither the flavor nor the nutrients of Soylent Green.

    172. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 24, 2011 at 21:58

      Axoltl? Isn’t that some kind of fish?

    173. Aristotle said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:04

      Just leave me the fuck out of it, k?

    174. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:05

      Merry Xmas and Happy Solstice all!

      The Laze-o-meter is pegged here yet I must get off of my ass if i want to have something to eat tomorrow and drink as well.

      A mixture of Cranberry, and fresh lime juice is sublime in its own right, later when I add the Vodka it will become a cape cod.

      Alright, I have decided that i must do my limited shopping now, so that as soon as is heavenly possible I can return to my current status of laziest SOB in all of the land.
      .

    175. Hogeye Grex said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:14

      Sweaters

      and more sweaters (and poop)

    176. bbkf said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:33

      I’m actually going to enjoy my first Christmas at home since I’ve been flying cargo (7 years).

      yay for you and yr fam! slainte mhath!

    177. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:38

      Since it’s War on Christmas Eve and I’m Canuckistani – teh mention of sweaters obliges me to point out that teh LEAFS SUCK.

    178. Snorghagen said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:39

      Sweaters.. and more sweaters (and poop)

      Or give the gift of knitted gimp masks.

      Kids love ‘em, too.

    179. bbkf said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:40

      sauerbraten is in the oven and smells delish (thanks pup!)…just finished a glass of wine and am going to start on the knoephle soup…since we are going to the in-laws shiite lutheran church this evening, i plan on having a slight buzz to get through the maudlin-iess…

    180. Jennifer said,

      December 24, 2011 at 22:51

      Kids love ‘em, too.

      So do Mexican wrestlers.

    181. gocart mozart said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:02

      “The only problem is that Erika doesn’t get cheap cocktail ensembles from child prostitution.”

      Do you have any evidence to back up this bald assertion Tintin, or are you just talking out of your ass again.

    182. Smut Clyde said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:06

      Or give the gift of knitted gimp masks.
      Kids love ‘em, too.

      Drag-&-drop potential!

    183. Pupienus said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:06

      shiite lutheran church

      You attend the sunni lutheran church I take it.

    184. Jennifer said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:09

      I knew about the Shiite Baptists. I had no idea there were Shiite Lutherans. I would suspect that a Shiite Lutheran would be what most of us know as a “Methodist”.

    185. Snorghagen said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:20

      So do Mexican wrestlers.

      From the link.

      And Christmas wouldn’t be complete without Mexican wrestler dingbats.

    186. Hogeye Grex said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:26

      Mexican wrestler dingbats.

      Yeah. Call ‘em that to their face.

    187. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:42

      Well, thank goodness Festivus is over and done with. For you poor saps celebrating that other, overcommercialized holiday, I’ll see you on the other side.

    188. Substance McGravitas said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:44

      Something something axolotl.

      53 years ago my exotic axolotl died. He took an ocarina to the egg and… No wait, this one’s kinda true. There is a poor little axolotl buried across the water from this.

    189. gocart mozart said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:48

      “I’m actually going to enjoy my first Christmas at home since I’ve been flying cargo (7 years).”

      Dude. For God’s sake, splurge for a coach ticket.

    190. Major Kong said,

      December 24, 2011 at 23:54

      Dude. For God’s sake, splurge for a coach ticket.

      I’d rather ride the jump-seat on a freighter than ride coach. Especially if it’s something like an E145 or a CRJ700.

    191. gocart mozart said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:02

      “Conservative Green has neither the flavor nor the nutrients of Soylent Green.”

      That’s because they use malnourished third world children who weren’t lucky enough to work in a sweatshop. The scurvy gives that rancid flavor. Original Soylent Green was made with only pure patriotic salt of the Earth middle class white Americans. Give them time. I hear they are coming out with a Classic Soylent Green product line soon that should be just as good as the original.

    192. gocart mozart said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:05

      Axoloti, and thanks for all the fish.

    193. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:17

      I hear they are coming out with a Classic Soylent Green product line soon that should be just as good as the original.

      I hope it’s not a flop like that New Soylent Green back in the 80s.

    194. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:18

      I would like the world to know I recently made the word “bowties” on a TW place during Words with Friends.

    195. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:22

      The worst was Soylent Crystal.

    196. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:42

      I have just eaten a fine, fine, salad, with baby greens, mushies, onions, snap peas, orange pepper, fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, and sliced up crispy bits of salt pork. I sure was tasteee.

      Now I shall do what I can to claim the title of the worlds laziest man™, the first drink has been poured and a pipe prepared to fire.

      WooooooHooooooooo!!!

      Happy Happy, y’all!!!
      .
      .

    197. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:48

      Traditional War on Christmas Eve dinner:

      Onions and garlic and butter in a pot – a glass of white wine once they’re cooked. Then a small pile of fresh mussels. Served with teh rest of teh white wine, a baguette, two soft cheeses and a caesar salad.

    198. Den-Den said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:54

      Merry, Merry Christmas, hot tubbers.

    199. Bitter Scribe said,

      December 25, 2011 at 0:55

      I’ve finally given up fussing over the MP3 player I got my brother. MAN it’s a pain in the ass loading those things.

    200. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 1:24

      ,,,Soylent Crystal

      Didn’t he play teh male lead in When Harry Ate Sally?

    201. g said,

      December 25, 2011 at 2:01

      My 23 year old kid has decided to cook something very ambitious for Christmas dinner – duck breast Wellington – that is, duck breast encased in puff pastry.

      I’m using every bit of will power to stop myself from interfering with him in the kitchen.

    202. steerpike said,

      December 25, 2011 at 2:13

      On a serious note, didn’t I hear that someone was going to be doing a remake of Soylent Green at some point?

    203. Looch said,

      December 25, 2011 at 2:28

      the in-laws shiite lutheran church

      HA!

      And: Roast beast for din-din. Yum.

    204. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 2:39

      I hear that someone was going to be doing a remake of Soylent Green at some point?

      Newt, as soon as he’s elected.

    205. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 25, 2011 at 2:48

      Soylent Lite!

      Mom is making Indian tonight.

    206. Pupienus said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:05

      Beer, broccoli, cheese soup and crusty rolls with butter and a salad. And lots of gin. And Dr. Who Xmas specials. Life is gud.

    207. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:10

      Just finished round 1 of the I’m-alone-for-a-week-watching-movies-my-wife-doesn’t-like-filmfest: The Man Who Would be King.

      It’s the best adventure movie* ever made, with Captains Courageous running a distant second. Caine at his best, Connery at his best, and Huston somehow turned a Kipling story into one that is neither pro-imperialism nor pro-war. Damn…

      *As opposed to action movies, a different genre that has almost killed off real adventure movies.

    208. Whale Chowder said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:19

      MAN it’s a pain in the ass loading those things.

      Well yeah, you should really avoid loading them bit by bit. Try the cable!

    209. Snorghagen said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:22

      The Man Who Would be King

      Good movie.

      That came out the same year Connery made ‘The Wind and the Lion’, featuring the world’s only Berber brigand with a Scottish accent.

    210. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:25

      ‘The Wind and the Lion

      Not Connery at his best.

    211. Whale Chowder said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:28

      Merry Christmas or other celebration as appropriate to all y’all.

    212. Lurking Canadian said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:39

      Classic Soylent Green isn’t as good as the original, now that they use HFCS, although I hear that if you go south of the border they still make it out of real Mexicans.

    213. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:39

      I just polished off a tin of sardines in hot sauce, a can of octopus in garlic sauce and a crusty bastone while on the job. Even as an apatheist, tradition weighs heavily, although expedience made me half-ass everything.

    214. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:41

      Classic Soylent Green isn’t as good as the original, now that they use HFCS

      Human Flesh Comestible Substitute?

    215. Snorghagen said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:41

      Not Connery at his best.

      It was an odd movie. I got the impression that Milius couldn’t decide whether he was making a parody or playing it straight. Great soundtrack, though.

    216. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:51

      Not Connery at his best.

      I actually like that one. Maybe not his best work, but it’s a fun movie.

    217. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:52

      Hubby does not enjoy classic movies. Football is on. The baby is asleep. Pigs are dying.

    218. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:54

      Pigs are dying.

      OH, THE HUMANITY! PORCINITY!

    219. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:55

      My stepdaughter is home for Christmas and she’s on a high-protein diet so I made Bistecca all Fiorentina with a side of Swiss Chard.

    220. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 25, 2011 at 3:59

      Also I have had some whiskey and wine. Not together.

    221. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 25, 2011 at 4:04

      Pigs are dying.

      Are they being eaten?

      I made Bistecca all Fiorentina with a side of Swiss Chard.

      Fantastico! Did you grill the steaks over a wood fire?

      Also I have had some whiskey and wine. Not together.

      Sometimes you’ve got to fortify that wine… I usually throw some brandy into a mulled wine, for some added “punch”.

    222. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      December 25, 2011 at 4:23

      Heya, loony libs:

      Newt’s incompetent campaign failing to look up Virginia’s rules on primary ballot signature-gathering is Just Like Pearl Harbor!

    223. Pryme said,

      December 25, 2011 at 4:37

      Newt’s incompetent campaign failing to look up Virginia’s rules on primary ballot signature-gathering is Just Like Pearl Harbor!

      So that means we’ll end up with a Democrat for president for the next two terms; I can live with that.

      BTW, the FTW comment on the original TPM story on Newt’s and Perry latest screwup has to be this one:

      Maybe it is just me but isn’t it sort of telling about the Republican field that their brightest and dimmest made the exact same mistake?

    224. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 4:53

      Did you grill the steaks over a wood fire?

      Sort of. I have a gas grill, but I save cuttings from my grape vine to throw on the fire.

    225. Looch said,

      December 25, 2011 at 5:23

      Just Like Pearl Harbor!

      Damn Germans!

    226. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      December 25, 2011 at 5:34

      Damn Germans!

      Those Islamo-Commie-Fascist-Hitler-Liberals are all the same!

    227. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 25, 2011 at 6:15

      Sort of. I have a gas grill, but I save cuttings from my grape vine to throw on the fire.

      You ever make dolmades from your grapevine? I have a lot of wild grape vines all over my worksite, and I consume a lot of the leaves over the course of the year.

    228. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 6:17

      ‘Twas teh night before Christmas and all through teh thread,
      Not a poster was stirring, they’ve all gone to bed.
      Teh trolls they were hung by teh lampposts with care
      In hopes that there copypasta they would decline to share.

      Your dad lay on his back, to his team gave a whistle,
      And away at his ass they all launched their missiles,
      But I heard him exclaim, midst his cries out for MOAR,
      Happy Christmas to all and your mom is a whore.

    229. jim said,

      December 25, 2011 at 7:07

      Joyeux Noël to all, & to all a good snark.

    230. Smut Clyde said,

      December 25, 2011 at 7:47

      Or give the gift of knitted gimp masks.
      Kids love ‘em, too.

      I am now expecting a heist movie in which the bankrobbers all wear knitted Pikachu balaklavas.
      Make it so.

    231. Smut Clyde said,

      December 25, 2011 at 8:01

      Must star Sean Connery and Michael Caine. And be filmed on location in Alabama.

    232. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 13:39

      You ever make dolmades from your grapevine?

      Yes indeed. I have my Lebanese grandmother’s recipe for them.

    233. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 14:45

      If she was Lebanese, then I expect you had three grandmothers total.

    234. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 14:57

      I’m half Lebanese and half Irish. Fortunately I learned to cook from the Lebanese side of the family.

    235. John Revolta said,

      December 25, 2011 at 15:11

      +Insert joke conflating Lebanon and Alabama; al- Abanama? Wevs.+

    236. John Revolta said,

      December 25, 2011 at 15:12

      P.S. God bless us………every one!!

    237. Suezboo said,

      December 25, 2011 at 16:06

      Just had great Christmas dinner – gammon, corned beef, some kinda meatloaf thingie and chicken with potato salad, green salad, beans,asparagus – oh, wow! My kind neighbour made it and brang some over for me. The first time I have felt like reporting a meal to all you Big Food people here. Ah – satisfaction achieved. Chocolate mousse cake to come.
      I hope all of you had an equally fab meal and a happy Christmas to you all.

    238. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 25, 2011 at 16:13

      Yes indeed. I have my Lebanese grandmother’s recipe for them.

      I kinda feel unworthy for asking now!

      Merry Christmas, people. When do we start next year’s war?

    239. bbkf said,

      December 25, 2011 at 17:27

      sauerbraten was a hit…f.i.l had thirds and there’s not much left…the knoephla soup was to die for as well…and the daughters 3 layer jello was called a ‘masterpiece’…of course she dubbed it that, but it was pretty fricking good…

      yeah, roast beef, jello, lutheran church service*…could i be anymore minnesotan?!?!?!

      *for the record hubbkf and the kids and i are congregational…hubby abandoned his shiite lutheran roots even before we were married…a missouri synod church is not a place to make you feel welcome and warm, but they aren’t as assholey as the wisconsin synod…but hey, they are god’s chosen congregations (sorry everybody else!) so who am i to judge?

      anyhoo, in related news, i see the pope gave a speech about rejecting the glittery-ness of christmas and get back to the baby jeebus…this from a man who has his own city filed with priceless stolen artwork….

      merry fucking christmas!

    240. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 17:32

      Isn’t the whole point of Christmas that fucking wasn’t involved?

    241. Major Kong said,

      December 25, 2011 at 17:32

      this from a man who has his own city filed with priceless stolen artwork….

      When I toured St. Peter’s I remember looking around and thinking “I’m not sure this is quite what Jesus had in mind”.

    242. bbkf said,

      December 25, 2011 at 17:42

      Isn’t the whole point of Christmas that fucking wasn’t involved?

      hey, i have to be the change i want to see in the world!

      also…gaffigan:

      mary: joooooooseph?
      joseph: yeah?
      mary: you know how we’ve never made love?
      joseph: YEAH…
      mary: well, last night an angel came to me and i’m pregnant….
      joseph: JESUS CHRIST!
      mary: ooooh, so you know about it?

    243. bbkf said,

      December 25, 2011 at 18:32

      right now, my son are i are trying to decide if you could sharpen your justice coin with your edge of glory

    244. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 18:41

      I don’t know, but you can sharpen your wizarding skills with your hand of glory.

    245. Looch said,

      December 25, 2011 at 19:32

      I am reverse commuting on Xmas. In other words, I am going through the basement and throwing out or burning years of accumulated krep.

      Babby Jeebus is wid me.

    246. Pupienus said,

      December 25, 2011 at 19:56

      The dough is rising – there will be delicious crusty rolls to accompany the prime (as in grade, not select nor even choice) rib roast. There will be yorkshire pudding, yes there will! I’ll have to grate the horseradish root for the sauce soon. I watched some video yesterday that claims that some people’s aversion to Bruxelles sprouties is due to their not having evolved properly (well that’s how I see it), retaining the evolutionary spandrel of having receptors for some odd chemical or other. We will have roasted sprouts with chestnuts and lemon zest. Haven’t decided yet what to do with the spuds but I’m leaning toward a rich pave with gruyere.

      Oh, merry fucking Xmas ya hosers!

    247. N__B said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:01

      Brussels sprouts are miniature mutant cabbages waiting for their moment to attack us and conquer the world. That is enough of a reason to dislike them.

    248. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:09

      Happy War on Christmas. I hope Pirate Santa was generous with teh first of his three gifts and knowledgeable with teh latter two.

      Mmmm, delicious Traditional* Christmas Brunch. Ramen with kimchi, slices of processed fish bar and a fried egg.

      *We are, however, going with teh completely Traditional Christmas Dinner. Roasted turkey, roasted root vegetables, some green vegetable, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy and pumpkin pie. Teh “Tradition” of meals leading into dinner on teh 25th is to have as non-turkey liek foods as possible.

    249. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:49

      I don’t know, but you can sharpen your wizarding skills with your hand of glory.

      Waving teh wand.
      Summoning spiritual essence.
      Shooting magic missiles.

    250. Pupienus said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:54

      I hope Pirate Santa was generous with teh first of his three gifts and knowledgeable with teh latter two.

      Pirate Santa did indeed leave me rum but in place of the other two he left me The Collected Works of William McGonagall. Illustrated.

    251. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:56

      Casting Bigby’s Stroking Hand.
      Manipulating teh Fabric of Reality.
      Tapping into One’s Inner Powers.
      Imbuing a Weapon with Elemental Force.
      Power Word Jism.

    252. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:57

      Sleight of Hand.

    253. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 20:59

      Opening a Gate to teh Netherworld.

    254. g said,

      December 25, 2011 at 21:03

      Wild rice salad has been made and is in the fridge. Kid is cooking up roux to make demi-glace and he is de-fatting the duck breasts. Puff pastry made with duck fat is relaxing in the fridge.

      I’m in charge of kale and roasting root vegetables. Plus a pie.

    255. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      December 25, 2011 at 21:25

      Ramen with kimchi, slices of processed fish bar and a fried egg.

      I am on board with everything with the exception of the “processed fish bar”, though I might be convinced to try the concoction.

      Kimchi, however is one of the finest things created/devised by man.

      .

    256. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 25, 2011 at 21:51

      right now, my son are i are trying to decide if you could sharpen your justice coin with your edge of glory

      I think the same pitchman does ads for hole of glory as well.

    257. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 25, 2011 at 22:32

      Processed fish bar is traditional. It’s basically teh same stuff they use to make teh little fish balls in pho with fish balls. But made into a bar. I found a picture.

    258. S. cerevisiae said,

      December 26, 2011 at 0:55

      Have any of the Southern Hemisphere sadlys seen this? http://www.space.com/14045-spectacular-christmas-comet-amazes-skywatchers-chile.html

    259. Snorghagen said,

      December 26, 2011 at 1:04

      Fish bar.

    260. Smut Clyde said,

      December 26, 2011 at 2:07

      http://www.space.com/14045-spectacular-christmas-comet-amazes-skywatchers-chile.html

      That would involve being up before sunrise at about 5 a.m., and I’m usually in bed by then.

    261. vacuumslayertse said,

      December 26, 2011 at 3:03

      Have any of you ever played Bezzerwizzer? I’ve read instruction manuals in Japanese that were less confusing than these directions.

    262. N__B said,

      December 26, 2011 at 3:16

      Have any of you ever played Bezzerwizzer?

      Not since I traded in my rubber sheets.

    263. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      December 26, 2011 at 4:35

      Merry Xbox, fuck-knuckles!

      I took a nice ride, today (don’t forget to clickee for the videos).
      .

    264. N__B said,

      December 26, 2011 at 5:03

      Night two of the filmfest: Silent Hill. Trash, but amusing.

    265. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      December 26, 2011 at 5:48

      When does teh filmfest get to teh STSWB flicks? I suggest scheduling them as double bills.

    266. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 5:53

      Brussels sprouts

      i don’t like them because they smell like sewer…

    267. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 5:56

      Have any of you ever played Bezzerwizzer?

      attempted, but yeah…the directions were stumpers…

    268. Major Kong said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:00

      Have any of you ever played Bezzerwizzer?

      I only like games where you get to shoot things. Where’s the fun if nobody gets hurt?

    269. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:03

      Where’s the fun if nobody gets hurt?

      that’s why hubbkf and i have always liked s&m twister…

    270. jim said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:20

      Happy (Sadly Standard Time) Boxing Day!

      What, MOAR holiday pay? Consider my rubber arm twisted.

      Mmmmmm, 10kg demonic pig made of marzipan!

    271. N__B said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:28

      When does teh filmfest get to teh STSWB flicks? I suggest scheduling them as double bills.

      You obviously haven’t seen Silent Hill. It qualifies…particularly the demonic nurses.

    272. gocart mozart said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:36

      I got y’all something useless for Christmas. Your welcome.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bAmF2UT3xE&feature=player_embedded h/t Rumproast.

      Good snark find by the Krug Man. “Are We Not Sheep?”
      http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/

    273. gocart mozart said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:42

      I can’t get over the fact that they really have boxing fights in Canada the day after Christmas. Why is this and who will be in the ring tomorow?

    274. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:45

      Silent Hill.

      if this the one where the car breaks down and there’s weird noises and some sort of snow falling?

    275. John Revolta said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:49

      Y’know, I’ve heard a lot of silly stuff said here and kept quiet. But now……… I must speak.
      .

      Brussels sprouts……….. fucking……………. RULE!!1!111!!111

      Just for God’s sake don’t BOIL the fuckers. IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT IF YOU BOIL ‘EM11!!1!!!1ELEVENTY!!

      That is all.

    276. gocart mozart said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:55

      That guy Brussel was a genius.

    277. gocart mozart said,

      December 26, 2011 at 6:56

      Go easy on the eggnog John, also.

    278. jim said,

      December 26, 2011 at 7:07

      Sorry for all you non=Canucks, missing out on all those traditional Boxing day carols like Grandma Got Run Over By An Early-Bird Shopper … or Debbie The Green-Eyed Floor Clerk … or Jingle Tills … or Repo Man Is Comin’ To Town.

    279. gocart mozart said,

      December 26, 2011 at 7:21

      The problem with presents.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G3KItej-Ms

    280. John Revolta said,

      December 26, 2011 at 7:42

      The noggin’ comes later. Right now the Mrs. & I are prepping a lovely rack o’ lamb with potatoes boulangere and YES……………..sprouts, dammit. SPROUTS! And I get to wash the veggies!!

    281. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 26, 2011 at 8:30

      Sprout haters gotta hate sprouts. Is there bacon involved in your sprout fixin’?

    282. John Revolta said,

      December 26, 2011 at 8:40

      No bacon. Mrs. R. is a recently defrocked vegetarian and won’t go as far as pork. Yet.
      Walnuts, though. And garlic galore.

    283. Smut Clyde said,

      December 26, 2011 at 10:11

      if this the one where the car breaks down and there’s weird noises and some sort of snow falling?

      You’re thinking of “Wind Chill”.

    284. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

      December 26, 2011 at 12:02

      if this the one where the car breaks down and there’s weird noises and some sort of snow falling?

      You’re thinking of “Wind Chill”.

      Sounds more like “My Typical Luck”.

    285. S. cerevisiae said,

      December 26, 2011 at 15:03

      “Are We Not Sheep?”

      We are DEVO!

    286. N__B said,

      December 26, 2011 at 15:39

      if this the one where the car breaks down and there’s weird noises and some sort of snow falling?

      You’re thinking of “Wind Chill”.

      Or “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”.

    287. Thread Bear said,

      December 26, 2011 at 15:45

      “Are We Not Sheep?”

      Not if Harold succeeds.

    288. Johnny Canuck said,

      December 26, 2011 at 16:25

      I can’t get over the fact that they really have boxing fights in Canada the day after Christmas. Why is this and who will be in the ring tomorow?

      This year, it’s going to be Prime Minister Steven “Tax Cuts” Harper versus my grandmother.

      If granny wins, she gets to keep her Medicare!

    289. S. cerevisiae said,

      December 26, 2011 at 16:48

      Kids these days with their “rock and/or roll” dept: http://news.yahoo.com/cultural-winners-losers-2011-080000277.html

    290. El Manquécito said,

      December 26, 2011 at 17:37

      Man, that Bozell is d.u.m.b.

    291. Snorghagen said,

      December 26, 2011 at 18:22

      What I enjoy about Bozell is his upbeat, non-judgmental style.

      The depravity of our popular culture… unattractive, in every sense of the word… stupid… disgusting… ghastly… perpetually immature… preachy… loathsome… desperate…

      And if it wasn’t for him I never would have known that Ben Shapiro is a Cultural Winner.

    292. Thread Bear said,

      December 26, 2011 at 18:34

      And if it wasn’t for him I never would have known that Ben Shapiro is a Cultural Winner.

      In Bent’s world you are a Winner in Popular Culture only if you are not popular.

    293. N__B said,

      December 26, 2011 at 18:43

      unattractive, in every sense of the word

      Gaga is not a magnet to which iron is drawn? This needs to be put to the test!

    294. eataTREE said,

      December 26, 2011 at 18:59

      “Good King Wenceslas” is a Boxing Day carol. The Feast of Stephen == Boxing Day.

      This has been your daily dose of Internet pedantry. You may now resume your previously scheduled banter.

    295. Whale Chowder said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:04

      Bozell is plenty stupid but worse, he’s predictable. “Oh no, those nasty South Park boys are picking on the almost-Christian Mormons! This cannot stand! After all, the Muslims would issue a fatwa, amirite?” Not said: “like we should.”

      Anything nominally against the established order is bad, whatever makes westerners feel good is good.

      I have to wonder if he really gets the pagan Circle of Life thing in The Lion King or if he was overwhelmed by the royalist boner he got watching the show again.

    296. N__B said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:10

      if he was overwhelmed by the royalist boner he got watching the show again.

      To be fair, some of those lions are fairly hot.

    297. steerpike said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:17

      The things ya learn on teh internets! I wiki’d “Feast of Stephen”, and sure enough, today is his day. I enjoyed reading about the various customs associated with the day in different countries. In particualr, Wales:

      St. Stephen’s Day in Wales is known as G?yl San Steffan. Ancient Welsh custom, discontinued in the 19th century, included bleeding of livestock and “holming” (beating or slashing with holly branches) of late risers and female servants

      My late-rising children and wife may need to be introduced to a new family tradition! (of course, it will take them some time to get used to daddy having a female servant…)

    298. Snorghagen said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:26

      Hell, I don’t blame them for beating late risers when there’s livestock bleeding to be done.

    299. eataTREE said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:38

      Well, I’m not a traditionalist. I’m just going to observe St. Stephen’s day by spanking my late-rising wife with a rubber paddle.

    300. steerpike said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:43

      Also, “bleeding the livestock” is a perfectly enjoyable way for me to start the day on a lazy sleep-in morning after Christmas…

    301. steerpike said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:51

      Also, “Holming the late risers” IYKWIMAITYD

    302. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 19:58

      f this the one where the car breaks down and there’s weird noises and some sort of snow falling?

      You’re thinking of “Wind Chill”.

      Or “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”.

      ha, ha…smartasses…i just imdb’d it and it IS the one i’m thinking of…did. not. like.

    303. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 20:07

      included bleeding of livestock and “holming” (beating or slashing with holly branches) of late risers and female servants

      fun!…man, our american *traditions* suck…

    304. bbkf said,

      December 26, 2011 at 20:11

      Bozell is plenty stupid but worse, he’s predictable. “Oh no, those nasty South Park boys are picking on the almost-Christian Mormons! This cannot stand! After all, the Muslims would issue a fatwa, amirite?” Not said: “like we should.”

      Anything nominally against the established order is bad, whatever makes westerners feel good is good.

      I have to wonder if he really gets the pagan Circle of Life thing in The Lion King or if he was overwhelmed by the royalist boner he got watching the show again.

      also, too…color me shocked that he is all “yay for unbridled corporate greed and consumer wastefulness” “yay for sanctimonious christians!” and “boo everyone else (especially if you are a girl or you have a potty mouth)!”

    305. Thread Bear said,

      December 26, 2011 at 20:46

      There’s a Lion King craze!

    306. Major Kong said,

      December 26, 2011 at 22:09

      included bleeding of livestock and “holming” (beating or slashing with holly branches) of late risers and female servants

      What if I’d rather get beaten by a female servant?

    307. Thread Bear said,

      December 26, 2011 at 22:14

      If you are a “late riser” it’s probably not the female servant’s fault.

    308. Cerberus said,

      December 26, 2011 at 22:46

      Shopworn Holiday Threads getting you down. Come on down to New Post Mart and see the new selection of New Posts for your New Post pleasure. All purchases now come with a free New Post.

    309. Whale Chowder said,

      December 26, 2011 at 22:46

      If you are a “late riser” it’s probably not the female servant’s fault.

      If you were really a female servant, I probably wouldn’t be such a late riser.

    310. HorsesAss.Org » Blog Archive » Open Thread 12/28 said,

      December 28, 2011 at 18:02

      [...] – Is anyone else but Erika surprised that she finds it more remarkable that she would defend Kim Karda…. [...]

    311. actor212 said,

      December 29, 2011 at 19:22

      If you were really a female servant, I probably wouldn’t be such a late riser.

      That’s not what the ladies’ room graffiti says.

    312. Kyle Espinola said,

      January 24, 2012 at 13:08

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      My name is Kyle, and I’m currently finishing my undergrad at the University of California, Santa Barbara. I love your site, and its about time I give back.

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      -Kyle

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