Powerful Gay Rays Emitted By TVs Creating Nation of Pedophiles

ABOVE: Marsha West (circa 2005)


Marsha West at RuhnooMuhrka has discovered that there is sex on television and she is not in the least bit happy about it:

Liberal Hollywood is intentionally corrupting children’s morals via the movies and TV programs they produce for public consumption. Dictionary.com defines the word intentional in this way: done with intention or on purpose.

One of the things that distinguishes RuhnooMuhrka is how its writers can clarify difficult concepts, like the meaning of “intentionally,” and do so by consulting authoritative sources that aren’t generally available to the average reader like you and me. I was, just last night, struggling with uncovering the meaning of “intentional” when, after my fifth cocktail, I had to refute charges that I had intentionally gotten drunk, and, if only I had read Marsha first, I could have authoritatively replied that I didn’t do it “with intention or on purpose.” It also would have come in handy that time there was a fuss about whether I intentionally did, er, you-know-what (rhymes with Mame) in someone’s mouth or not. I simply could have said “not on purpose” and been done with it, right?

Marsha’s outrage is all focused on a Fox Network show about singing high school students which she believes is simply a pretext for that liberal Rupert Murdoch guy to show two boys fucking which, of course, will mean that everyone who watches the show, particularly children, will turn gay on the spot, engage in non-stop sodomitical orgies with their same-sex classmates until they catch AIDS and die. (It is going to be somewhat hard for the girls to get HIV from lesbian sex but let’s not obsess over the minor details, m-kay?)

Now that Glee has turned the nation’s third graders into crazed gay-sex automatons, schools have replaced spelling tests with anal sex tips and pointers. Seriously, she says that:

Instead of children learning reading, writing and arithmetic in our tax funded public schools, teachers all across America are mandated to teach children that sodomy is “normal and natural.” Many Students graduate from high school unable to spell simple words or write a basic sentence, yet valuable class time is taken up to teach them the ends and outs of oral and anal sex?

Awesome. In a paragraph lamenting how kids can’t spell any more, Marsha misspells “ins.” And she probably never learned about anal sex in school either, bless her heart.

But the Glee-based Murdoch conspiracy is not just to turn your kids gay — its even more insidious goal is to turn all adult viewers into pedophiles by including a story line where a teacher has sex with an adult student.

Getting back to ‘Glee’ the executives and sponsors of the show need to tune into the news once in a while. The program that spotlighted a teenage student having sex with his adult teacher was aired about the time that the story of former football coach Jerry Sandusky’s arrest for alleged child rape was making headlines. Which begs the question: Why is ‘Glee’ playing with fire by showing teacher-student sex? Okay, the student was 18. But a senior in high school nonetheless.

My guess is you’re not familiar with the obscure part of the law against sex with minors which defines anyone in school as a minor, no matter how old they are. Where would we be if it weren’t for the careful legal scholarship of RuhnooMuhrka columnists like Marsha?

Hollywood…pushing the envelope…breaking taboos… desensitizing the public…tearing down the moral construct this country was built on…mocking the traditional family…rewriting history…disrespecting Judeo-Christian values…even blaspheming God. Where do they plan to go next?

Oh I don’t know Marsha. Could it be pedophilia? Necrophilia? Cannibalism? Electrified tit clamps?

Could it be the normalization of pedophilia? No, they wouldn’t go that far, would they? [Ed. note: I think this is what is called a rhetorical question.] Former child star Cory Feldman told CBS that pedophilia is Hollywood’s biggest problem.

In fact, next season’s biggest hit is likely to be “Three and A Half Priests,” the funny but touching story of a Southern California rectory and the antics of its residents: three hunky priests and a precocious altar boy who doubles as their sex slave.

There’s not enough space to cover what perverts are doing behind the scenes to normalize pedophilia.

Come on, Marsha, we’ve got all the time in the world and I know that the RuhnooMuhrka website can give you a few more inches, feet even, of column space to reveal these dastardly shenanigans. Unless, of course, you don’t, oh well, nevermind.

You know one of the hard things about reading crazy people like Marsha for your entertainment is this constant coitus interruptus stunt they pull. They get you all worked up about something, say, a Muslim plot to poison all our salad bars, and then just as you get all excited they pull out with something like “but I really don’t have the time or space to explain to you how they are going to do that or what particular salad bars they have targeted or what poisons they are going to use because Sean Hannity is coming on in five minutes and I have to go watch the teevee.” And so I wind up standing there with my wiener in my hand and afraid to go into Applebee’s.

 

Comments: 236

 
 
 

That’s right: pedophilia is about homosexuality, especially when little girls are the victims.

 
 

Electrified tit clamps?

I’ll be in my bunk

 
 

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha….

 
 

Marsha needs to find some television viewing entertainment that is more in tune with conservative political correctness and doesn’t hurt her fee-fees,

 
 

the funny but touching story

I see what you do here.

 
 

what, has this place become Sadly, actor?

 
 

ends and outs of oral and anal sex?

A little bit of the ol’ end-out-end-out.

 
 

Marsha needs to find some television viewing entertainment that is more in tune with conservative political correctness and doesn’t hurt her fee-fees

I don’t know. She’s probably already got every episode of “24” on DVD, and she knows just how far to fast-forward to the scenes where Jack Bauer has to torture somebody.

 
 

If an adult teacher having sex with a student is bad, she really shouldn’t read Newt’s biography.

 
 

Come on, Marsha, we’ve got all the time in the world and I know that the RuhnooMuhrka website can give you a few more inches, feet even, of column space to reveal these dastardly shenanigans

If she had been taught properly in a modern school, she’d know how to fit in those few more inches.

 
 

ends and outs of oral and anal sex?

up on WHICH stroke?

 
 

what, has this place become Sadly, actor?

Snooze, you lose, dudes.

 
 

If she had been taught properly in a modern school, she’d know how to fit in those few more inches.

It would involve flexibility, however.

 
 

Well, this is just further proof that Tintin and actor212 are one and the same person. (Are you lurking Donalde?)

 
 

I thought Tintin was Elvis, and actor212 was Jimmy Hoffa?

 
 

Hey, I resemble that remark.

 
 

“mandated… sodomy”? “The ends and outs of oral and anal sex”?
Shirley she could not make so many inyouendoes unintentionally.

 
 

“mandated… sodomy”?

I’m fairly certain that’s the ultimate objective of any man date.

 
 

Innuendo? I harldy know you!

 
 

Man, that broad needs her some of my manhood.

 
 

It also would have come in handy that time there was a fuss about whether I intentionally did, er, you-know-what (rhymes with Mame) in someone’s mouth or not.

Were the roller-skates on or off? Makes a big difference.

 
 

Do gay rays give you a gay tan? Cuz I’m going on vacation shortly, and I probably should lay down a base.

 
 

after my fifth cocktail, I had to refute charges that I had intentionally gotten drunk

Extended explanations of how Daniel Dennett’s ideas on the Intentional Stance apply in this situation have always worked for me.

 
 

Intentional Stance

The underrated follow up song by Men WIthout Hats.

 
 

Extended explanations of how Daniel Dennett’s ideas on the Intentional Stance apply in this situation have always worked for me.

I bet you think someone here will make a Larry Craig ‘wide stance’ joke now. But it won’t happen. Because we take the high road here at ‘Sadly, No!’

 
 

the movies and TV programs they produce for public consumption

I would like to know more about the movies and TV programs produced by Liberal Hollywood for private consumption.

 
 

teachers all across America are mandated to teach children that sodomy is “normal and natural.”

Well, dictionary.com defines “natural” as “existing in or formed by nature” so unless gay people were grown in a lab DEAL WITH IT.

 
 

I’m fairly certain that’s the ultimate objective of any man date.

Or the lash.
~

 
 

There’s not enough space to cover what perverts are doing behind the scenes to normalize pedophilia.

But Marsha Marsha Marsha will continue to “research” the issue. 24×7 if I don’t miss my guess.

 
 

I would like to know more about the movies and TV programs produced by Liberal Hollywood for private consumption.

Two Girls, One Penis

 
 

I see actor already snagged the man date line.
DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TO DO?

And SC preempted my Dan Dennett line.
DON’T YOU HAVE …. THINGS TO DO?

 
 

You know one of the hard things about reading crazy people like Marsha for your entertainment is this constant coitus interruptus stunt they pull.

“I have here in my hand a list of 205 . . . a list of names that were made known to the Secretary of State as being members of the Communist Party and who nevertheless are still working and shaping policy in the State Department. . . .”

 
 

Because we take the high road here at ‘Sadly, No!’

I’ll take the low road and I’ll be in Scotland afore ye.

 
 

marsha west: First off, the Apostle John states that Jesus said many things that were not written down (John 21:25). For example, our Lord didn’t mention abortion, homosexuality, rape, incest, or cannibalism. However, just because he didn’t address every sin throughout the Bible doesn’t mean He would approve.

how conVEEEEEENient!

 
 

However, just because he didn’t address every sin throughout the Bible doesn’t mean He would approve.

Some sins he just didn’t have time to finish first.

 
 

Ahuhuhuhuhuhhhuhuhuhhha.

hey, what girl doesn’t enjoy a piece of boner pie once in a while?

 
 

why do i think of ‘i dream of jeannie’ every time i see the marsha photoshop?

 
 

what perverts are doing behind the scenes to normalize pedophilia.
Scuse me, can’t you do that in your trailer like everyone else? Trying to fit a camera through here.

It is going to be somewhat hard for the girls to get HIV from lesbian sex
Do not make me get all pedantic and fact-based.

 
 

Because we take the high road here at ‘Sadly, No!’

I’ll take the low road and I’ll be in Scotland afore ye.

Oral versus anal arguments are the Mac/Windows discussions of the pr0n world.

 
 

Liberal Dictionary.com is intentionally corrupting children’s morals via defining the words and phrases they produce for public consumption. Dictionary.com defines the phrase “anal sex” in this way: intercourse via the anus, committed by a man with a man or woman.

 
 

Oral versus anal arguments are the Mac/Windows discussions of the pr0n world.

Don’t you just love it when the whole network “goes down”. Oh wait, that’s Marsha’s problem with the Fox Network.

 
 

Oral versus anal arguments are the Mac/Windows discussions of the pr0n world.

Don’t you just love it when the whole network “goes down”.

Setting the interrupts is what worries me.

 
 

I thought Tintin was Elvis, and actor212 was Jimmy Hoffa?

Which of them was up on the grassy knoll?

 
 

bbkf said,
December 13, 2011 at 21:45

why do i think of ‘i dream of jeannie’ every time i see the marsha photoshop?

Actually it’s a brand new Photoshop. With the extra help around here, I’ve got time for new Photoshops and longer posts!

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

Marsha’s probably one of those people that thought she was SO FUNNY when she called Ellen DeGeneres “Ellen DeGenerate”. Her end-u-end-oes are pathetic and obvious.

Unless, of course, she’s not doing it intentionally. Then, a more interesting and perverted subconscious picture emerges. What do you dream about, Marsha?

 
 

For example, our Lord didn’t mention abortion, homosexuality, rape, incest, or cannibalism. However, just because he didn’t address every sin throughout the Bible doesn’t mean He would approve.

He disapproved enough of divorce to mention it, but divorce bothers you a lot less than some of these “sins” he never got around to.

 
 

Which of them was up on the grassy knoll?

Don’t be silly. That was Bigfoot.

 
 

why do i think of ‘i dream of jeannie’ every time i see the marsha photoshop?

Nah, I was totally getting a Carrie Nation vibe from that photo. Must be the hatchet.

..or would that be a Lizzie Borden vibe?

 
 

Unless, of course, she’s not doing it intentionally. Then, a more interesting and perverted subconscious picture emerges. What do you dream about, Marsha?

A dear, departed mentor of mine used to say, “When you are pointing your finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you.”

Imagine what kind of freaky, nasty desires are percolating through Rick Santorum’s brain.

 
 

Actually it’s a brand new Photoshop. With the extra help around here, I’ve got time for new Photoshops and longer posts!

and an awesome photoshop it is! as are the longer posts! well done, you!

 
 

why do i think of ‘i dream of jeannie’ every time i see the marsha photoshop?

Insert “West of Eden” joke… duck shoes thrown by every male commenter of a certain age.

 
 

Her end-u-end-oes are pathetic and obvious.

eck…and to think she’s writing a children’s book…i hope she finds a tireless editor cuz that ‘column’ has a LOT of problems…as does marsha apparently…

 
 

“Insert “West of Eden” joke… duck shoes thrown by every male commenter of a certain age.”

The ducks don’t wear shoes around these parts.

 
 

Nah, I was totally getting a Carrie Nation vibe from that photo. Must be the hatchet.

..or would that be a Lizzie Borden vibe?

yeah, i thought of those two after examining it a little closer, but each time i refresh and she flashes by…i swear to bob it’s barbara eden…does this mean that teh teevee turned me ghey?

 
 

any of youse pugilists? need advice on ordering from a boxing equipment online store…

 
 

Three fingers pointing back at you and one (thumb) at god.

 
 

any of youse pugilists?

I hurt somebody’s feelings once.

 
 

Don’t fight it Marsha
Marsha kanows whut is going on behind doors and in sekrit BUT SHE CAN”T TELL US!!!
Be askeart ever’one,

 
 

any of youse pugilists?

I’ve only owned cats, sorry.

 
 

Television, much like anal sex, will kill you really hard.

Marsha don’t like implications of the buttsecks on her TV. JEALOUS MUCH, BITCH?

 
 

any of youse pugilists? need advice on ordering from a boxing equipment online store…

I used to do a bit of boxing. When I set up my home gym I ordered most of the stuff from Ringside and was happy with it. That was back in ancient times when you ordered things from a paper catalog though, so ymmv today…

 
 

“any of youse pugilists? need advice on ordering from a boxing equipment online store…”

All I know is that Joe Frazier apparently liked to give head………….

 
 

I’m so excited that they’re getting closer to the God particle. I can’t wait for it to write a new version of teh bibble that will be explicitly clear about the oral and buttsecks requirements.

 
 

I can’t wait for it to write a new version of teh bibble that will be explicitly clear about the oral and buttsecks requirements.

It’s a boson.

You know what they say about sailors…

 
 

I’m so excited that they’re getting closer to the God particle.

Good Lord, is that COMIC SANS?!!!

 
 

Nah, I was totally getting a Carrie Nation vibe from that photo. Must be the hatchet.

It’s the Carrie Nation vibe you should be getting

 
 

Good Lord, is that COMIC SANS?!

Of course it is? What other font would a CERN scientist use? Sheesh.

 
 

I used to do a bit of boxing. When I set up my home gym I ordered most of the stuff from Ringside and was happy with it. That was back in ancient times when you ordered things from a paper catalog though, so ymmv today…

get out! ringside is the place i was questioning…i’ve only ordered the son’s stuff from title boxing before so i just wanted to doublecheck…especially since ringside has the shoes he wants at a ridiculously low price…i ordered them and now am hoping like hell that i do not get an email saying they are NOT in stock…

 
 

“inverse femtobarn”

Sounds like a move Shaun White does on the half-pipe.

 
 

actor212 said,

any of youse pugilists?

I’ve only [been] owned [by] cats, sorry.

FIFY

 
 

No!

ha, ha…sometimes i channel elaine…you should see me dance!

 
 

What other font would a CERN scientist use?

WingDings? Zapf Chancery?

 
 

Come on, CERN? Switzerland, Hello? Helvetica?

 
 

If they’re scientists wouldn’t it be a font of knowledge?

 
 

Come on, CERN? Switzerland, Hello? Helvetica?

That’s some fine cheese, alright.

 
 

Setting the interrupts is what worries me.
N__B is triggering me throwing an exception.

 
 

Marsha don’t like implications of the buttsecks on her TV.

She keeps falling off.

 
 

Marsha don’t like implications of the buttsecks on her TV.

She keeps falling off.

“I’ve fallen! And I can get off!”

 
 

Come on, CERN? Switzerland, Hello? Helvetica?

Actor got Berned.

 
 

Come on, CERN? Switzerland, Hello? Helvetica?

Geneva know.

 
 

Font puns? Really?

Mind if I sit this one out on the Verdana?

 
 

The Higgs and now WHOA! It’s been a very good year.

 
 

Good to see your okay Tintin! WTF Belgium?!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

actor212 said,

December 13, 2011 at 23:06

Marsha don’t like implications of the buttsecks on her TV.

She keeps falling off.

“I’ve fallen! And I can get off!”

“I don’t mind a little sex in the movies—but I keep dropping me popcorn!”

—Judy Carne from Laugh-in

 
 

The Higgs and now WHOA! It’s been a very good year.

Trivial.

Important.

 
 

Judy Carne

*sigh*

Every little boy back then had a crush on Goldie Hawn, but Judy was my one true love. I like a sharp tongue and good head.

 
 

For example, our Lord didn’t mention rape, incest

Yeah, he did. He was overwhelmingly approving of both. There’s a huge amount of cases in the Bible of God literally ordering people to rape other people or fuck their relatives. Just because God didn’t disapprove doesn’t mean he didn’t mention it. Same with slavery, which again, no commandment against, a ton of commandments in support.

Oh right, God is the righteous bearer of morality and the Bible is an inerrant record of his will, so you just need to gloss over certain passages and take about the “implied commandments” to align “God’s will” more closely to the morality of this time and especially to your own bugaboos.

One would say that makes it automatically not about timeless divine will, but those people are just Satan’s minions trying to trick you.

And it’s totally moral to use the edge of the Bible to get yourself off as long as you imagine hot, sweaty gays going to Hell as you do it.

 
 

I am very concerned about Marsha’s knuckles. They are in severe danger with all that oh-so-well-intentioned pearl-clutching … FOR TEH CHILDRENS.

Poor delicate creature.

Yet she airs her wholesome plaint on not a series of tubes – where thriving communities of scalliwags regularly post or upload cubic fucktons of material that would curl the toes of a concentration-camp guard.

Zombie-Irony wept.

 
 

They are in severe danger with all that oh-so-well-intentioned pearl-clutching … FOR TEH CHILDRENS.

Don’t worry. They get plenty of relaxation when they’re dragged along the ground.

 
 

Good Lord, is that COMIC SANS?!

Wouldn’t they be using COSMIC SANS?

 
 

Wouldn’t they be using COSMIC SANS?

You laugh, but…

 
 

She keeps falling off.

I TOLD her to hang on to that 1977 console TV, but NOOOOO she had to get a new one. If she had kept that old TV, there would be no Glee gay stuff all up in her grill.

 
 

fuck their relatives

Asking for a friend…can you tell me where I might find this passage. I don’t intend to use it for evil purposes…I PROMISE.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Actor:

+1 on Judy. Her and Lee Meriwether from Time Tunnel. Let the Boomer-bashing begin!

 
 

Her and Lee Meriwether from Time Tunnel

I’ll be in my bunks. Both of them.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I TOLD her to hang on to that 1977 console TV, but NOOOOO she had to get a new one.

I’m always reaching out to put something on top of the TV, only to realize that TVs have no top now. It’s a conspiracy! Geddoffamalawn!!!

 
 

Asking for a friend…can you tell me where I might find this passage.

You’re looking at Onan the barbarian, who either ruined masturbation or the withdrawal birth control method for the rest of us, depending on your POV

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Bashing the Boomer…

 
 

Her and Lee Meriwether from Time Tunnel

And it would be discourteous of me not to mention Diana Rigg in The Avengers.

Of course.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

And it would be discourteous of me not to mention Diana Rigg in The Avengers.

Now I’m picturing all three (plus Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island) in Emma Peel-type leather catsuits. I may be a while….

 
 

Now I’m picturing all three (plus Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island) in Emma Peel-type leather catsuits. I may be a while….

Lemme throw a little salt-peter on that: Linda Thorson

 
 

This is just too wonderful:

Congress, it’s time to stop lining your pockets
By Sarah Palin

 
 

I guaran-damn-teeya you’d never see no gay pr0n on a Curtis-Mathes console TV with built-in phonograph and AM/FM radio in a handsome walnut-grained veneer cabinet. Nosir. They knew how to build ’em back then!

 
 

Lemme throw a little salt-peter on that: Linda Thorson

the ultimate salt-peter: verizon customer service…man, i hate calling customer service now a days…i don’t even have the energy to tell them to get offa my lawn…

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I guaran-damn-teeya you’d never see no gay pr0n on a Curtis-Mathes console TV with built-in phonograph and AM/FM radio in a handsome walnut-grained veneer cabinet. Nosir. They knew how to build ‘em back then!

Isn’t that the one with the tilted anode in the high-voltage rectifier that beamed the gay-rays right at the floor in front, where impressionable little kiddies were lying, heads propped on their hands?

 
 

Posts. happen. so. fast.

Would love to read all the posts, but am in need of nap. Sorry if this has been covered already— bear with me—it’s complicated—and I’m doing my level best to be appropriately tentative and delicate with my speech, but

wouldn’t the person most likely to have a tendency to do some pedophile like thing, or not know a pedophile like thing if it actually jumped up and shoved an eight year-old’s penis in his or her mouth, be the person who doesn’t know the difference between an 18 year old man and an eight year old boy?

Just sayin’. I know the press confuses people sometimes by being between so completely obtuse in their efforts to be politically correct and clearly failing to actually understand the motivations behind “politically correctish things”— you know, like the local women newscaster who reports the rape of the fourteen year old woman as if she might be thinking that she herself is middle-aged at the age of 22 and should start considering botox treatments…these people are so confused it’s a wonder they can sit upright.

WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR SO MANY PEOPLE? WHAT COULD ANYBODY POSSIBLY GET OUT OF BEING SUCH SO OBTUSE AND SO THOROUGHLY AND PERNICIOUSLY OFFENDED AND FRIGHTENED ON BEHALF OF THE CHILDREN THAT THEY CANNOT PROPERLY IDENTIFY AS CHILDREN, WHILE CONFLATING THE PREDATORY SEXUAL VICTIMIZATION OF CHILDREN WITH A HEALTHY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD MAN HAVING CONSENSUAL SEX???

It boggles the mind, all these professional morons. I’m sorry they’re so confused. Really, I am. But who is supporting and feeding these poor, moronic, misguided, deluded, pathetic human beings who somehow survive this complex and demanding world? Why do the idiots get so much support? Isn’t that a sign of a culture being so maladapted that it might want to just climb a high building, stab itself nearly to death, set itself on fire, and then jump?

Just to be sure?

For the sake of the REST OF HUMANITY.

 
 

fuck their relatives

Asking for a friend…can you tell me where I might find this passage. I don’t intend to use it for evil purposes…I PROMISE.

You’d BETTER not be friends with my creepy cousin or I WILL CUT YOU.

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR SO MANY PEOPLE? WHAT COULD ANYBODY POSSIBLY GET OUT OF BEING SUCH SO OBTUSE AND SO THOROUGHLY AND PERNICIOUSLY OFFENDED AND FRIGHTENED ON BEHALF OF THE CHILDREN THAT THEY CANNOT PROPERLY IDENTIFY AS CHILDREN, WHILE CONFLATING THE PREDATORY SEXUAL VICTIMIZATION OF CHILDREN WITH A HEALTHY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD MAN HAVING CONSENSUAL SEX???

Simple. All sex is bad, but consensual sex is worse, much, much worse, to the Fundies, because then you did it as per the Dictionary.com definition of “intentional”. Therefore, sex with children is not really pedophilia (unless you have teh Ghey), because men are lustful beasts that cannot control themselves, ergo, girl children are not children but lustful wanton hooors asking for it by breathing, and little boys look just like girls, so those priests just had a misunderstanding, that’s all.

It all makes sense when it is filtered through the commands of the Bibble, as reported on by your local preacher and Pat Robertson.

And yes, I’d really love it if the whole Fundie culture would “climb a high building, stab itself nearly to death, set itself on fire, and then jump”, because then they wouldn’t be controlling the news outlets, and bitching about the “war on Christmas” while their WAR ON BODIES continues unremarked and unchecked.

 
 

the ultimate salt-peter: verizon customer service

Well I may never have sex again. Fuckin’ Verizon. *mumbles incoherently*

 
 

Former child star Cory Feldman told CBS that pedophilia is Hollywood’s biggest problem.

Well, if Cory Feldman said it…

I can Shorter this baby:

1.) Hollywood likes the sexytime
2.) Hollywood is full of liberal pedophiles
3.) ???
4.) Profit!

No, that’s unfair. I’m sure she’s not implying that lotsa a liberals are pedophiles. That would be unspeakably disgusting and unfair. She wouldn’t do that, would she?

 
 

Although I will note that so many of the people caught in pedophilia scandals are conservative or conservative-sympathetic. Just sayin’…

 
 

I like a sharp tongue and good head.

One would think that the first precludes the second.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

1.) Hollywood likes the sexytime
2.) Hollywood is full of liberal pedophiles
3.) ???
4.) Profit!

Somehow, I doubt that Corey Feldman is seeing any of this profit.

Although I will note that so many of the people caught in pedophilia scandals are conservative or conservative-sympathetic. Just sayin’…

I think this boils down to authoritarianism. The victimizers gravitate towards positions of authority so they have access to potential victims, and the enablers turn a blind eye to it because they don’t want to jeopardize the gravy train, and because addressing it would hurt tribal identity.

 
 

ends and outs of oral and anal sex?

You… put… your…
Left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You put your left hand in
And you twist it all about
You do the pokey pokey
An’ you squeeze some more lube out
That’s what it’s all about.

ELBOWS!

 
 

Wristwatch! Crisco!

 
 

Former child star Cory Feldman told CBS that pedophilia is Hollywood’s biggest problem.

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised. I think I related here a couple of years ago how disgusted and revolted I was to find out a former customer of mine had been convicted for kiddie porn, and what was worse, in the online chats he had with the cop, he related the tales of the many kids he had molested since age 13; at the time of his arrest, he was in his early 60s. AND he had been a TV writer and producer. The show he produced? That horrible, horrible Alan Thicke/Kurt Cameron travesty, which was so bad I can’t even recall the name of it.

On the other hand, this might explain why Kurt Cameron is so fucked in the head.

 
 

Or is it Kirk Cameron? All I know is he’s eat up with the Jesus.

 
 

Let the Boomer-bashing begin!

I got your boomer bashing in chart form right here.

 
 

Steerpike said,

Wristwatch! Crisco!

Related.

 
 

Kirk. He hangs with the Banana=god dude.

 
 

You’d BETTER not be friends with my creepy cousin or I WILL CUT YOU.

Wait…does that mean we’re going to have sex?

 
 

also, “into” should have been “in to.” It was probably just a typo.

 
 

Goddammit, I make a wonderfully witty and arch comment using just a few short words, and no one fucking notices.

 
 

Goddammit, I make a wonderfully witty and arch comment using just a few short words, and no one fucking notices.

I noticed, but I’m hazzing a sad.

 
 

I’m sorry about your sad, tsam, but that’s no excuse for letting a great comment go unheralded. OH THE HUMANITY!

 
 

Well I may never have sex again. Fuckin’ Verizon.

If you’re fuckin’ Verizon, that really can’t be called sex. You’re doin it wrong.

 
 

OBS : heh, indeed.
Fuck your relatives ? It was God that told Lot’s daughters to get the old man drunk and then fuck him.
Monogamy? Puh-leeze. He hates it – all his fave kings in the Old Testament have like hundreds of wives and concubines.He even tells Abraham to cheat on his wife with the maid.
Strangely and co-incidentally, these commands usually matched with what the men wanted to do anyway.

 
 

Glad someone caught the Zappa ref, OBS. Take one Cultural Literacy Card from the top of the deck. You may play the card, or keep it for another turn.

 
 

Well, it WAS a fantabulistic comment, I must say. It clarifies some things.

 
 

One cannot fuck Verizon; one can only BE fucked BY Verizon.

 
 

omfg…damn you sub…damn you to hell and back! i clicked your damn link and then got sucked into the comments…that was like, an hour ago? holy shit…but i did find this one near the end and i almost peed my pants:

ONE WORD DESCRIBES WHY SARAH PALIN…SHOULD BE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT…WOMAN…AND SHE WILL BE A GOOD ONE…THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN A MAN PRESIDENT…SOME 200 YEARS AGO…OR MORE…HAD HAVE IT NOT BEEN FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER…WOMAN…PRESIDENT SARAH… TODD…5-PALIN CHILDREN…2 PALIN GRANDCHILDREN…FIRST FAMILY…2012!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

if that is not a poe ( and i don’t think it is…she sounds like most of the weirdos who were commenting) it is pure freaking gold…

 
 

Fantabulistic.

I’m JUST like that Bill Shakespeare guy.

 
 

Strangely and co-incidentally, these commands usually matched with what the men wanted to do anyway.

Just ask God’s own prophet, Joseph Smith.

 
 

My pithiest, most exquisitely-wrought and devastatingly witty comments generally come right as everyone is rushing for the exits to see the newest thread.

So, this thread is probably safe, at tleast for awhile…

 
 

i noticed but i had to get that incredibly insane commentor out of my head…and yes, it was wittily arch and succinct…

tsam…no sads!!!

 
 

tsam – no, not THAT comment. The other one – about sharp tongues and good head.

 
 

WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR SO MANY PEOPLE?

It has been remarked upon before, but it does seem endemic to a conservative state of mind to have no freaking handle on CONSENT. In any situation, but especially in sexual situations.

 
 

Strangely and co-incidentally, these commands usually matched with what the men wanted to do anyway.

well duh…he IS omniscient…and a dude…

 
 

about sharp tongues and good head.

OH I LIKE HEAD.

And I like that comment. Muchly.

 
 

He hangs with the Banana=god dude.

And yet, the Saudis want to disallow women handling bananas (and cucumbers) because of the resemblance to PENIS. I would expect that to hit the Religious Whacko radar in this country in about 45 minutes, at the rate they are burning through our Strategic Insanity Reserves.

Conservativism. Disdaining consistency for 40 years!

 
 

The show he produced? That horrible, horrible Alan Thicke/Kurt Cameron travesty, which was so bad I can’t even recall the name of it.

“Growing Pains”? Is that the one?

If so, and if the producer was a pedophile, that makes the title a bit disturbing.

 
 

If so, and if the producer was a pedophile, that makes the title a bit disturbing.

indeed…especially since mike seaver’s best friend was nicknamed ‘boner’…ewwwwwww!

 
 

You may play the card, or keep it for another turn.

Yay! I’m going to hang onto it for a while, just in case…

I would expect that to hit the Religious Whacko radar in this country in about 45 minutes, at the rate they are burning through our Strategic Insanity Reserves.

Unfortunately, I thing our Strategic Insanity Reserves are infinite.

 
 

Wingnut feminism. *sigh*

 
 

He even tells Abraham to cheat on his wife with the maid.

Between that and Mary, it’s like every someone lied about sex in those days they started a new religion.

 
 

I thing our Strategic Insanity Reserves are infinite.

Or y’know, “think”

 
 

OBS – yeah, Growing Pains – that was it. At the time, seeing all the cast photos and whatnot hanging in the house, I almost felt sorry for the guy, because I’m thinking, how much would that suck to have that as your claim to fame? Like the guy who invented Smurfs – you wouldn’t ever want to tell anyone how you made your wealth if it was from something like that.

Now, I not only don’t feel sorry for the guy, I’d like to kill him because several times when I was at his house checking on the progress of the job, my 8-year-old nephew was with me…and I almost puked when I thought about said pervy dude eyeing my nephew with lust. It still makes me sick to think about it, probably because some of what he told the cop online got reported – such as him relating how he raped a 9 year old girl who resisted him at first, and then bragging about how he “turned her into a little slut.”

Someone like that…just needs killing.

 
 

Jennifer said,

December 14, 2011 at 1:26 (kill)

Goddammit, I make a wonderfully witty and arch comment using just a few short words, and no one fucking notices.

Oh, I noticed, and winced, gingerly.

Hmm…

Wincing the ginger.

 
 

Someone like that…just needs killing.

I’m of the opinion that killing is far too good for folks like that.

 
 

No, that’s unfair. I’m sure she’s not implying that lotsa a liberals are pedophiles. That would be unspeakably disgusting and unfair. She wouldn’t do that, would she?

Y’know, I’m tempted to try and find the stats, but I’d be inclined to think that, like so many other moral abominations out there, the frequency of pedos goes up in direct relation with the wingnuttiness of the area.

 
 

Smurfette’s creation is pretty horrible really.

http://lambiek.net/artists/p/peyo/peyo_smurfin.jpg

Or here if the direct link doesn’t work:

http://lambiek.net/artists/p/peyo.htm

 
 

Our government is, very occasionally, after years and much hard work, able to get important things done.

 
 

“Y’know, I’m tempted to try and find the stats, but I’d be inclined to think that, like so many other moral abominations out there, the frequency of pedos goes up in direct relation with the wingnuttiness of the area.”

I’d bet folding money…

 
 

Every little boy back then had a crush on Goldie Hawn

Not every little boy. Not by a long shot, let me tell you.

And it would be discourteous of me not to mention Diana Rigg in The Avengers.

Now I’m picturing all three (plus Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island) in Emma Peel-type leather catsuits. I may be a while….

I used to say that Emma Peel was the only thing that could possibly make me straight.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I used to say that Emma Peel was the only thing that could possibly make me straight.

Her mom’s even hotter.

 
 

Winching the Ginger.

fixxt for more redheaded bondage.

 
 

Twinning the organicity.
Hovering the lamb.
Winning the expansion.
Sparking the work.
Guessing the black cat.
Annoying the void.
Calling the gaboon viper.
Impeding the mutation.
Singing the parasaurolophus.
Pinning the water elemental.
Scratching the superior being.

 
 

Her mom’s even hotter.

It only took me seven minutes to watch, google and find your blog post of June 23. I am saddened that the mother-daughter stuff is only in your febrile imagination.

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

Braving the Brachiosaurus?

(Nose sex. It is all the rage.)

 
 

(Nose sex. It is all the rage.)

Gives new meaning to Nose Job.

 
 

It has been remarked upon before, but it does seem endemic to a conservative state of mind to have no freaking handle on CONSENT. In any situation, but especially in sexual situations.

“I have to do things I don’t want to, like paying 3 percent in a higher marginal tax bracket, so everyone else has to do things they don’t want to, like having sex with being raped by nasty men when they’re children.”

 
 

“I have to do things I don’t want to, like paying 3 percent in a higher marginal tax bracket, so everyone else has to do things they don’t want to, like having sex with being raped by nasty men when they’re children.”

And inevitably, paying inheritance taxes are compared to being raped.

 
 

paying inheritance taxes

YOU MONSTER!

I left zombie bait in the comments at my place, BTW.

 
 

I have to do things I don’t want to, like paying 3 percent in a higher marginal tax bracket

Well, you don’t have to. There’s an easy fix for that – just don’t make as much money if you find that extra 3 percent burdensome.

 
 

Now I’m picturing all three (plus Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island) in Emma Peel-type leather catsuits. I may be a while….

Not to be greedy, but could we throw Julie Newmar in there as well? If you’re gonna dream, might as well dream big.

 
 

I left zombie bait in the comments at my place, BTW.

Thanks, I’m full.

I also left Ned-bait in a post at my place, but nobody goes there anymore.

 
 

Well, you don’t have to. There’s an easy fix for that – just don’t make as much money if you find that extra 3 percent burdensome.

It’s always amusing that for how cushy it is to not earn enough to qualify for income tax, and to live on food stamps and unemployment, none of these Masters of The Universe ever abandon the agony of their lives and hurt fee-fees to live that way.

 
 

Shorter Forbes writer:

Let them use Kindles!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Not to be greedy, but could we throw Julie Newmar in there as well? If you’re gonna dream, might as well dream big.

Oh, absolutely, we can throw in movie Catwoman, since I already had TV Catwoman in there…let’s throw in TV Batgirl (Yvonne Craig) too, since we’re dreaming.

 
 

Actually TV Catwoman was Julie Newmar (and later Eartha Kitt). Lee Meriwether was in the movie.

 
 

Some day the wimmin of S, N should get together and make sure the thread devolves into talking about hot male celebs. Hey, it would be a nice change.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Actually TV Catwoman was Julie Newmar (and later Eartha Kitt). Lee Meriwether was in the movie.

My bad…coulda sworn and all that.

When they did the one with Michelle Pfeiffer, I was going WTF? The only candidate I could think of was Geena Davis, because I thought being 6′ tall was a requirement. Obviously I forgot about Eartha Kitt.

 
 

I named my cat after Eartha Kitt. Her name is Eartha Kitty.

 
 

Best Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman line:

“Life’s a bitch, Batman, and so am I.”

 
 

The women want to talk about hot men and the men want to talk about Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt.

HOW’S A GAY BOY SUPPOSED TO CHOOOOOZE???

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

The women want to talk about hot men and the men want to talk about Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt.

HOW’S A GAY BOY SUPPOSED TO CHOOOOOZE???

Ans what about Wong Foo?

 
 

But seriously, two signs that you’re getting old:

A) You’re black and suddenly white people are listening to your music

B) You’re straight and your crush is a gay icon.

 
 

two signs that you’re getting old:

It ain’t the years, it’s the mileage.

 
 

Some day the wimmin of S, N should get together and make sure the thread devolves into talking about hot male celebs. Hey, it would be a nice change.

Go for it. Be fabulous, and arrive in a phalanx of gynocopters.

 
 

Go for it. Be fabulous, and arrive in a phalanx of gynocopters.

The blog will definitely have an intriguing vibe.

 
 

Her name is Eartha Kitty.

I’ve always thought that was the best kitteh name ever.

 
 

Go for it. Be fabulous, and arrive in a phalanx of gynocopters.

The blog will definitely have an intriguing vibe.

Are you suggesting that gynocopters are designed with unbalanced bearings so that they vibrate from side to side as they fly forwards?

 
 

Some day the wimmin of S, N should get together and make sure the thread devolves into talking about hot male celebs. Hey, it would be a nice change.

Have I not tried? Oh, right, it has to be the wimminz. Pheh to you madame, pheh.

Milk braised pr0k shoulder. Brown that bitch nicely and well in olivia’s oil. Season with salt and pepper. Add some minced garlic. toss some Rosemary needles in. Dump a couple three cups whole milk (and some cream, if you have it which we always do) and add several bay leaves. Oh, don’t forget the zest of a lemon you motherfucker or else! Bring to the berl then reduce to a simmer, cover and let that cunt braise away.

Garlic mashed. Simmer some smashed garlic cloves in cream and or butter. Boil the fucking spuds, drain and DRY THOSE FUCKERS DO YOU HEAR ME! just put them back in the pot and return the pot to the burner – driving off excess moisture is the key, they take up the fat better. Mash all that shit together along with some milk, cream, sour cream, more butter, whatever. Season and call your cardiologist.

Roasted cauliflower. Oh fer fuck sake you don’t how to roast fucking cauliflower?!? You pathetic piece of excess human baggage, don’t forget to spritz some lemon on at the end. Cunt.

 
 

Pup –

Perhaps a ride in a gynocopter would cheer you.

 
 

Former child star Cory Feldman told CBS that pedophilia is Hollywood’s biggest problem.

And all this time I thought it was the drop in disposable income due to the recession and competition from alternative entertainment media. Who knew that fucking kids was their biggest problem.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Perhaps a ride in a gynocopter would cheer you.

Do gynocopters have twin counterrotating tassels rotors?

 
 

Do gynocopters have twin counterrotating tassels rotors?

Are you afraid of exhausta dentata?

 
 

Perhaps a ride in a gynocopter would cheer you.

What gives you the idea I need cheering up? Fuckwad.

I always enjoyed, during my angry young man phase, responding to random people telling me to smile with

“Where the fuck do you get off telling me how to live my life”

“I am smiling. Inside.”. (delivered in total deadpan)

“yeah? Would you be smiling if your mother just died?”

I kind of miss those days.

 
 

I’m just shocked, shocked to discover that our entertainment industry is interested in titillation and attracting views with sex. Whooda thunk?

 
 

Fuckwad.

I must protest. I’m far more than a wad. I’m a…a…a fuckheap.

 
 

I’m a…a…a fuckheap.

The Engineer Fuckheap. It’s got cachet.

 
 

Are you suggesting that gynocopters are designed with unbalanced bearings so that they vibrate from side to side as they fly forwards?

I suggest you provide the link to the website and the newsletter, for the people interested.

 
 

It’s got cachet.

Is that the violet-smelling crap my grandmother had around the house?

 
 

A violet-smelling fuckheap? THAT doesn’t make ANY sense.

 
 

There is nothing to heap management that remains of interest in computer science. Nor in life.

 
 

Not even how to remove the violet smell from your heap?

 
 

The fact is, most liberals are child molesters. Which is why they voted for Obama, and socialests.

 
 

i am going to start things off with matthew mcconnaughey…pup, you are more than welcome to play along!

 
 

and then i’m going to toss out johny depp and clive owen…

 
 

and then i’m going to toss out johny depp and clive owen…

I don’t understand. If you find them HOTT, why are you tossing them out?

 
 

and then go old school with gregory peck…rock hudson…paul newman

 
 

I might suggest Dylan Ratigan when he went into that RIGHTEOUS rant on camera the other day.

 
 

I don’t understand. If you find them HOTT, why are you tossing them out?

cuz, i’m done with ’em…

 
 

cuz, i’m done with ‘em…

Wore em right out, did you?

 
 

Wore em right out, did you?

indeed!

 
 

they should have brought along gynocopters.

 
 

and then go old school with gregory peck…rock hudson…paul newman

You are dead to me.

 
 

sean…baby! i was getting to you…okay, so sean connery…and james garner…

 
 

I don’t get teh Sean Connery thing. I mean yeah, cool as fuck – but as eye candy? Really?

 
 

Easiset Bond on teh eyes is teh current one. Hands down. Or up. Or really, wherever he wants to put ’em*.

*VPR. Totes heterosexually of course.

 
 

See, this is what happens. You say you wanna talk about hot men, but as soon as we do everyone quiets up.

Or are we all Google Image Searching Daniel Craig right now?

 
 

only young sean connery…and daniel craig…yes!

 
 

Or are we all Google Image Searching Daniel Craig right now?

actually, i was googling the actor who played enroljas when i saw les mis in london…totes, totes, totes HAWT!

 
 

New post. It’s got the funky fresh stylings of unchecked privilege.

 
 

Before everyone goes off to new thread (like I’ve already done), can someone explain to me teh Pattinson thing? I mean WTF? Sure d00d isn’t hideously deformed or nothing, but liek as if Team Edward or Team Jacob is a real question. Like. Totally.

 
 

Uh, totally heerosexually that is. Plus Taylor Lautner’s too young.

 
 

can someone explain to me teh Pattinson thing?

nope…nope, i can’t cuz i don’t get it either…

 
 

can someone explain to me teh Pattinson thing?

Those damn vampires. Preening twits.

It’s all marketing. Like Adam Sandler movies, or Creed.

 
 

ike Adam Sandler movies, or Creed.

ick…you are making me shudder now…

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I’ve looked at Taylor Lautner, and what I have to say is… boy seriously needs to pluck those eyebrows. Jesus.

 
 

boy seriously needs to pluck those eyebrows.

Why the unibrow hate, dude?

 
 

Not to be greedy, but could we throw Julie Newmar in there as well?

Like Diana Rigg, no one need imagine Julie Newmar in a catsuit. It’s Googleable

 
 

I like how the objectify dudes convo immediately went to “Why do you like THAT dude, then goes right back to the women.” *sigh* FTR, there are lots of women the dudes go crazy over and I’m like “I don’t get it.”

Back to the hot men, Paul Newman was, in his time, possibly one of the handsomest men to grace this earth. Just stunningly handsome. Josh Lucas reminds me a bit of him. Wowee!

Pup, I was a big dumb douche for not asking y’all to join the convo. Some eye candy just for you. Actually that wasn’t just for you. ‘Scuze me while I wipe the drool off my keyboard.

And, um, yum.

 
 

“Why do you like THAT dude, then goes right back to the women.”

In my defense, Sean Connery as eye candy? WTF? Even young Connery – while nicely framed, had a kinda dopey neanderthal look to him. Or is that teh appeal?

Also too, back in his day Paul Newman was pretty shockingly handsome, but I think Robert Redford was hotter. Paul was certainly pretty what with those mesmerizing eyes and all, but Robert looked like he was moar fun in teh sack. In a totally heterosexually way, of course.

Also too, thanx vs for bringing this back to d00ds who aren’t currently card carrying members of AARP. Here’s a pressie, a tree-hugging hottie

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

I have a hard time* with Redford, since he aged badly, to me. I can’t see the appeal. I’ve found Connery a laughingstock ever since Zardoz, because he’s such a bad actor that I can’t get past his toop and his chest mop.

Paul Newman, though, YES. And I like actors with that “I am a wall of inhibitions, but I’ll be a raging torrent of sexuality if you get past my icy exterior” thing. Like Christopher Eccleston and Clint Eastwood.

*Not a VPR

 
 

Enough about guys.

I’ve wanted to do Minnie Driver ever since “Good Will Hunting”

 
 

I’ve found Connery a laughingstock ever since Zardoz, because he’s such a bad actor that I can’t get past his toop and his chest mop.

Check out his early non-Bond films, like Marnie. There’s an undeniable attractiveness to his eyes and his chin.

I met Connery once in the late 70s, sans toup and make up. The years were not particularly kind to him (his home in the Bahamas. I think it took a toll on his skin) but he still had the straight up and down posture and sophistication that he always had.

Odd, for a working class kid from Edinborough.

It was a different time back then. Today, Marilyn Monroe would be considered overweight and in need of a diet, for example.

 
 

I don’t get the Sean Connery thing. Never have. I don’t get the old dude thing. I really don’t. Although now that I’m one year away from turning 40, I definitely find myself having more of an appreciation for men “of a certain age.”

Fer instance, I find the main guy in this commercial criminally sexy for some reason.

Ian Summerhalder (sp?) is incredibly good-looking. Bordering on pretty. Athankee!

 
 

paul newman is possibly the be-all and end-all of hot, hot men…joanna is one lucky woman…and yes, capt. morgan guy? i’d do him again…

 
 

Can I get an “Amen!” girl?! Damn that man is sexy.

Oh yeah, and Robert Redford was crazy handsome.

 
 

it is simple really. i got sick of hollywood and its filth and stopped watching tv 5 years ago. no more filth. now if only i could remove congress and the president the same way..

 
 

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