Fear of a Female Planet


It’s the only place he can hide to escape the incoming gynocracy

Matt Patterson, American Thin-ow-brain-words-hurting:
A World Without Men

For a conservative defender of the patriarchy, life is apparently like being one of the B-list action stars in Predator. You fire your gun wildly around at any glimpse or glimmer you can spot and pray to God that the black guy gets it first.

For Matt Patterson, the enforced paranoia has him bunkering down in his suburban tract fearfully looking out the keyhole for the hordes of feminists he knows are coming to eliminate all men off the planet.

Last year an article in The Atlantic asked the headline question, “Are Fathers Necessary?” The answer was thoughtfully supplied in the subhead — “A paternal contribution may not be as essential as we think.” Uh-oh.

It’s been a year, but Matt has carefully scratched the question into his flesh every night. It itches at his eyes, but he hasn’t crafted a blade delicate enough to scratch the words onto his eyelids. He knew that the gynocracy would come for him, but not so soon, not like this. Not through fatherhood!

Quoted below is the study he was freaking out over, that he also quotes:

[O]ur ideas of what dads do and provide are based primarily on contrasts between married-couple parents and single-female parents: an apples-to-oranges exercise that conflates gender, sexual orientation, marital status, and biogenetic relationships in ways that a true comparison of parent gender — one that compared married gay-male couples or married lesbian couples to married heterosexuals, or single fathers to single mothers — would not. Most of the data fail to distinguish between a father and the income a father provides, or between the presence of a father and the presence of a second parent, regardless of gender.

Huh, that seems like it’s just saying that two person households regardless of gender roles do about the same as each other. That ensuring a man and a woman is raising a kid doesn’t somehow add something. That what matters is the attention and the ability of another adult (any other non-Sandusky adult) to take over when the first is overwhelmed. And they seem to be saying that single parents even do pretty well when they are comfortable enough that they can spend time with their kid and not worry about the money and maybe can afford to give the kid to someone else when they get over-stressed and need a breather. So how’s our paranoid friend going to freak out over this?

Got that, fellas? There’s no difference between “you” and the “income you provide.”

Of course. Ignore all the important details about the sex of the parent not mattering and fixate on the money, because bitches only be after men for one reason, amirite?

Oh god, the gynocrats have found the money I hide under the bed to keep it out of the hands of female bank tellers. Now they are performing their Satanic lesbian sex orgies upon the bills. My usefulness at an end, they will move on to sacrificing me soon. Warn the others!

This dispiriting news followed on the heels of the 2009 revelation by researchers at Northeast England Stem Cell Institute that they had devised a method to create human sperm from embryonic stem cells. As the U.K Telegraph reported:
Within 10 years, the scientists say the technique could also be used to allow infertile couples to have children that are genetically their own. It could even be possible to create sperm from female stem cells, they say, which would ultimately mean a woman having a baby without a man.

You mean sperm isn’t the most magical fluid on the planet? Why then have I been guzzling it by the truck load in truck stop bathrooms in order to keep up my masculine energies?

What other lies has the gynocracy kept away from teh MENZ?!? TELL ME NOW!

For anyone who has ever loved his or her father (this author is certainly guilty), this all may come as a shock. But someone who is doubtless not shocked by these developments is the New York Times’ own Maureen Dowd, who got this whole male-maligning ball rolling back in 2005 with her book, Are Men Necessary?
It’s the sort of lament one has long heard from the salons of feminism, where the evils of men — war, leaving the toilet seat up — are eagerly condemned, and male contributions to society and family bitterly denigrated.

Ah to be an insane wingnut and think that Maureen Dowd is a feminist.

Such a simple life.

Also, stem cells apparently mean that no one will be allowed to love their fathers (especially like that). I guess the logic is that once women can replace sperm and money, then there’s no reason for any woman to be with a man ever again.

Don’t sell yourself short Matt, I’m sure you have plenty to offer a woman besides that. Like…uh…hmm, well…for instance… oh just skip to the next quote.

Now that a world without men seems to be at least on the cusp of possibility, it’s worth considering for a moment, I think, what such a world would really be like. It would almost certainly be a world without war, true, but it would also be a world without:

Huh, I was unaware that poorly written lesbian utopian novels of the 1960s were being taught as history textbooks in conservative universities.

Learn something new every day.

1) Literature — From Homer to Stan Lee, the majority of the world’s great stories have been spun by men. And the great poets have been almost exclusively male — there is no female equivalent to Byron or Whitman, let alone Shakespeare or Dante, men whose breathtaking vision shaped not only our language, but our sense of what it means to be human. A world without men would be a world whose list of great authors would include Jane Austen, Sappho, and…uh…uh…

Worst adaptation of It’s a Wonderful Life ever.

When you want to remind women of the importance of men because of your fear that some women may live lives without male involvement, it is important to highlight the best of male accomplishment.

In short, it is best to not be a giant douchebag who assumes that just because sexist historical practices with regards to women, writing, and who is considered a “great writer”, that women are incapable of producing great literature.

Fuck, look at a modern bookshelf for recent authors. I don’t think women in a women-only world will be hurting for books anytime soon (though the book scene might be even heavier on the vampires and werewolves).

2) Technology — Men have invented almost everything worth inventing, from the printing press to the iPad. If there’s a gadget or device that makes your life easier or more enjoyable, odds are 99 to 1 that it was first envisioned — and first brought to you — by a man.

Don’t unleash your gynocratic hordes on us! We’re important, we invented everything, with no help and you ladies can barely work the kitchen, amirite lads?

No wonder he’s so afraid of disappearing, he’s apparently a ghostly echo from 1950s television serials in some hideous reverse Pleasantville situation.

Also, you mean all the stuff that wasn’t stolen from a female scientist or which the man could work on because his house, food, and child care needs were being upkept by a forgotten woman of history.

3) Food — How many farmers throughout history have been women? Exactly.

A lot? Farming communities can’t really afford to be sexist when you need all the hands you can to keep things running. Especially at harvest time. Also, have you ever been to a farm? Like ever in your life?

4) Comedy — A world without men would certainly be a world without jokes and laughter. Guys, and especially dumb guys, are responsible for more comedy than anything else, from The Three Stooges to Beavis and Butt-head. And the male-female ratio in stand-up comedy has to be something like 4-1 (none of this, of course, takes away from those few female comedy greats like Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett).

Yes, the coming gynocracy, in a world without men, will be longing most of all for douchebro “comedians” to recycle stale “jokes” about how women talk too much, bitches be complicated, or how they’ll “git r done”. How will women survive without condescending “jokes” that only men laugh at. Truly they will be lost and adrift without such necessary sustenance.

Really though, you got paranoid and frightened for an entire year that the ability of lesbian couples to raise a child without a man there to rule them and your counter argument to the world you imagine will arise is a list of stereotypes so old and archaic that even the ghost of Archie Bunker would be going “hey now”.

Well, you certainly did put forth an intriguing argument for a manless society, but not in the way you thought.

In short, a world without men would be pretty boring, even if it becomes possible. I mean, let’s face it — men invented civilization itself. Can anyone really deny that? So for all those ladies thinking that they would be better off without their hairy, smelly other halves, just think about that. And if that doesn’t convince you of the necessity of men, just ask yourself:

Yes, men are really only worth their forced intrusion on women, their sperm, and possibly the money they earn more of by paying less to women in the workplace.

And that any ability for women to bypass a man for a single step will instantly lead to every woman on the planet choosing the no-man route.

But remember, it’s feminists who are the real man-haters.

Who would open your jars?

Hurr hurr, like with your girly weak arms, cause we all know women are fragile nothings who can’t even manage basic tasks. Okay, now you’ve opened the jar and you’ve smashed the jar on the countertop to manufacture a basic shiv. And now…

Oh god, it’s time! The gynocracy is upon us! Run for the hills, men, only stopping long enough to grab your copies of Red Dawn!

WOLVERINES!!!

 

Comments: 88

 
 
 

I look forward to commuting in my gynocopter. It’ll be just like the Jetsons.

 
 

Weren’t there two black guys in Predator?

I mean, unless we’re saying Apollo Creed has endeared himself to the hearts and minds of white working class Americans such that he’s graduated to being black yet not like “those people.”

 
 

I very much appreciate the posts but damn, you gotta leave something for us!!

 
 

Yes, and the fact that men have given us OH SO MUCH has nothing at all to do with the fact that women have been oppressed since oooohhhh the beginning of humankind. Hard to invent the iPad when you’re not allowed to attend school and half your face has been burnt off with acid cuz you spurned your pervy 40-year-old suitor.

 
 

Oh…and women aren’t funny?

FUCK ME. JUST FUUUUUUUCK ME. Is he kidding me with this shit?

 
 

Pup-

There’s always the comments.

The frightening frightening comments.

 
 

That list of his his laugh-lariously awesome.

Wouldn’t a Jane Austen novel with no men in it be very short? You know, pointing out that historicaly, women have been denied recogition or the possibility of success without concealing their gender doesn’t really strengthen his point. It’s a shame he didn’t go on to listsome of the grate male scientitians of history, liek Antoine Lavoisier or Otto Hahn.

FARMING?!?! W! T? F!?! You find teh best mangoes Cerb. Nevermind about teh fact that “farmer” is one of those genderless nouns for teh reason that EVERYONE ON TEH FARM FARMS. FFS, even a metrosexual city-boy liek me knows that. d00d was going on about how important it was that men were all inventing shit left right and centre, and then busts out farming. I’m pretty sure d00d lives in a world where man descended from manly male huntererers and mild meek womenfolk gatherererers.

Ahh and finally, of course – women have no sense of humour, lol amirite! I’m kinda surprised he didn’t manage to get PMS or shoe shopping into his rant.

 
 

I mean, let’s face it — men invented civilization itself. Can anyone really deny that? So for all those ladies thinking that they would be better off without their hairy, smelly other halves, just think about that.

Is he trying to convince…himself? Because that’s the only way I can read this.

As VS said (and I’m sure many others will say), the reason that the most famous writers, inventors, etc., are men, is because for hundreds and hundreds of years, women weren’t allowed to. If they rose above their supposed station, they were pushed back down, often forcibly. Give the ladies a few more millenia and then let’s make the comparison.

 
 

I mean seriously, Cerb. You ruined my evening with this guy’s tripe. I don’t know how long I can last if you keep bringing in mangoes by the bucket and dumping them all over the boat, instead of Shortering it the way God and Jesus intended.

 
 

I seriously would not read the comments if you paid me. Seriously. WOULDN’T.

 
 

VS –

But men hunted the mammoth for you!

 
 

I’m sorry I can’t hear you. I’m off riding Alpha cock.

 
 

“the phantom of the man-who-would-understand,
the lost brother, the twin —

for him did we leave our mothers,
deny our sisters, over and over?

did we invent him, conjure him
over the charring log,

nights, late, in the snowbound cabin
did we dream or scry his face

in the liquid embers,
the man-who-would-dare-to-know-us?

It was never the rapist:
it was the brother, lost,

the comrade/twin whose palm
would bear a lifeline like our own:

decisive, arrowy,
forked-lightning of insatiate desire

It was never the crude pestle, the blind
ramrod we were after:

merely a fellow-creature
with natural resources equal to our own.”

? Adrienne Rich, The Dream of a Common Language: Poems, 1974-1977

 
 

For anyone who has ever loved his or her father (this author is certainly guilty),,,

OMG! Must. Resist.
Must. NOT. Give. Into. Temptat,,, who am I Ikidding.

Matt Patterson’s incestuous life with his dad,
Is a poetic saga full of horror and grief and meter which is bad.
He’s jumped his own father, for he’s given up on women forevermore
Because of teh scars he got learning that his mother is a whore.

 
 

But men hunted the mammoth for you!

Veiled YourFatMomIsAWhore Reference.

 
 

I’m sorry I can’t hear you. I’m off riding Alpha cock.

And it’s blocking your ears? Damn, that’s big…

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Don’t worry, Matt, your Glory Season will come….

 
 

Pup and Spaghetti Lee-

Tomorrow’s post is dedicated to both of you.

Also a bit of question of future style.

Would people prefer a mixture of shorters and longers or for me to add a shorter to the top of the longer posts for those who want to bow out of the full mango experience?

 
 

Claims that women have been undervalued for most of human history are best countered by pointing out everything important has always been done by men, and contrary claims that men can be useful are best proven by writing inane drivel based on obtuse misreadings of scientific studies.

 
 

Apples to oranges comparisons are racist against mangoes.
~

 
 

“Glory Season!” Yes! that’s exactly what I was thinking about! That is an awesome book!
For those who haven’t read it, David Brin conceives exactly the kind of world this douchewad is worried about, and it’s fascinating. In this world, men are not extinct; they are kept separate from the “civilized” women, and mostly work as sailors–which is exactly the way they like it! And yeah, it’s a world without war and violence, for the most part. It is a stable, vibrant world, and not at all a dystopia. And it was written, I would stress, by a man.

 
 

tigris, there’s a GOP debate going on right now, and One L is proving she’s right up there with the menfolk (and Romney the space lizard).
~
~

 
 

Speaking of opening jars, OMG even Rachel Ray can open a jar.

And now, teh odd tangent. Jars are one of teh few things that work better for left handed people. Everyone naturally grabs teh lid with their dominant hand, meaning that to turn that sucker widdershins, righties have to spread their arms outwards. Lefties get to twist that lid off with teh better leverage arrangement. So there’s teh big sekrit. Use your left hand.

 
 

Thunder, I’m watching “Miracle on 34th St” because it’s more believable than anything any of those tin-plated morons will spew.

 
 

Men have invented almost everything worth inventing, from the printing press to the iPad.

Hedy Lamarr wonders just how well your iPad would work without her research.

 
 

I welcome our new gynocratic overlords. I will be a good boy.

 
 

So… somebody somewhere pointed out that it was in fact possible to raise a child in a no-Y-chromosome environment without causing a tear in the fabric of the universe… this guy read it, took it to mean “OMFG they want to abolish all men in the universe!” and then proceeded to generate some lengthy word-vomit to refute the argument his own mind created.

In other words, a textbook conservative essay.

 
 

Omg, teeny natalie wood–how Key-ute was she???!!!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Omg, teeny natalie wood–how Key-ute was she???!!!

I can’t see her in that or The Ghost and Mrs. Muir without thinking of her in Splendor in the Grass…uh, Imma be in my bunk.

 
Quaker in a Basement
 

A World Without Men would have no Three Stooges? No Beavis and Butthead?

Well, OK. Where do we line up for extermination?

 
 

I mean, let’s face it — men invented civilization itself.

“Eureka!” shouted Ugg as he bashed Ogg over the head and took his stuff.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Oh, and before I go…You realize, numbnuts, women probably invented agriculture, right?

 
 

I too welcome our new gynocratic overlords. I’ll be teh naughty boy.

 
 

Maureen Dowd, who got this whole male-maligning ball rolling back in 2005 with her book, Are Men Necessary?

You know, I tend to recall women criticizing men even before 2005.

 
 

I don’t have a copy right here in front of me, but one of Stieg Larsson’s books (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest…) prefaced several chapters with references to a tribe of Amazon women who kicked some serious butt. Maybe Matt Patterson would enjoy Lisbeth abilities.

 
 

But what about the flipside? What if they invented a way to make women irrelevant to the reproductive process? Research into an artificial uterus is already well advanced. Hell Aldous Huxley was predicting the idea 80 years ago. If men are so superior to women, and fathers so very important to childhood development, wouldn’t 2 fathers be twice as good? Shouldn’t women be quivering in fear of a day when men can finally rid themselves of the burden of financially supporting the fairer sex and having to open their jars for them?

No, no they’re not, because they’re not idiots.

 
 

“The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
December 11, 2011 at 5:04

Omg, teeny natalie wood–how Key-ute was she???!!!

I can’t see her in that or The Ghost and Mrs. Muir without thinking of her in Splendor in the Grass…uh, Imma be in my bunk.”

What was the one with Robert redford? Boy, she was lovely indeed.

 
 

Off-topic, but Newt Gingrich at the debate tonight reportedly PWNed Romney: “The only reason you didn’t become a career politician is because you lost to Ted Kennedy in 1994.”

DAMN. I think I like Gingrich even less than Romney, but that was a good PWN.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I mean, let’s face it — men invented civilization itself. Can anyone really deny that?

BOOKMARK THIS, LIBS!!! Damn, this is so stupid, it falls under the “not even wrong” category. It must be nice to be able to be able to spout a geyser of pure bullshit and not have any editor or fact-checker say that it needs substantiation.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

It’s the only place he can hide to escape the incoming gynocracy

The seat is down, he can’t even escape the gynarchy in there.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Would people prefer a mixture of shorters and longers or for me to add a shorter to the top of the longer posts for those who want to bow out of the full mango experience?

Do whatever comes to mind, Cerberus- you’re doing a damn fine job!

 
 

A man wrote Varney the Vampire; or, The Feast of Blood. Another man directed Manos: The Hands of Fate.

All achievements by people of the male persuasion are cancelled out by those two facts.

 
 

” Another man directed Manos: The Hands of Fate.

All achievements by people of the male persuasion are cancelled out by those two facts.”

You take that back! Right now!

 
 

My vote–full mangos every time! Nothing beats a thorough, full-on fisking to get the creative comment juices flowing. Remember the absolute spin-dry treatment “Liberal Fascism” got when it first came out? That’s actually around the time I first started hanging out here as a lurker, and later as a regular common tater. No offense to Tintin, but one or two half-hearted “shorters” a week was making it difficult to stay with it. I think I speak for all Sadlies when I say that we have loved Cerb’s long-form rants in the comment threads these last few months, and that is obviously what landed you the keys to the front office. Keep up the great work!

 
 

Next on the SciFi channel: The Third Voyage of Cerberus – The Island of Mangoes.

 
 

This is a man’s world, with caveat.

 
 

Crap, I pulled a Quayle.

 
 

I’m reminded of a theme in Andrea Dworkin’s surprisingly readable “Right-wing women”: these women believe that men basically hate women and only want them for sex and children, so anything that threatens the reservation of sex to heterosexual marriage, its connexion to babies, or ‘traditional’ sex-rôles—whether it’s an homosexual option on the menu or premarital sex with contraception or the perceived cultural depredations of masculine Jewesses and their un-manly brothers—seems to these women an existential threat. They believe that men want only one thing from them, and fear what would happen should they find another supplier.

(I think she finds a moderate tone in that book because for once she really does hate the sin but love the sinners, forcing her to spend more time really trying to get into someone else’s head…I never expect her to show anything like that degree of meaured sympathy with anyone who likes any penetrative pornography, be it ever so non-violent.)

As for “male civilisation”, I think the caste-apologist Gandhi had the most apposite response…the author also seems to forget that all the Real Men mocked the men who did all that art and writing and science as a bunch of faggits.

 
 

Do whatever comes to mind, Cerberus- you’re doing a damn fine job!

Seconded. I don’t care how many Carl Weatherses were in any damn movie, that opening graf is beautiful. And teh bit about a blade delicat ebough,,, awesome.

 
 

My husband says that women invented civilization: without women, men would be sitting in caves scratching themselves instead of in living rooms scratching themselves. Personally, I think men deserve some credit — but only as far as excludes Matt Patt here.

 
 

So awesome, it’s borkened mi tipoynigs.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Then there’s When it Changed, where men really were extinct. Shit, Joanna Russ died in April!

 
 

I watched Predator 2 as part of some random triple bill you could sit through if you had time and $2.75. I had no idea what it was gonna be and I must have missed the opening credits, because for the length of it I kept wondering when Danny Glover was gonna die.

 
 

Now on the Matt Patterson channel, another episode of Gynasty!*

*he’d mean it both ways, too.

 
 

Just finished The Ice Harvest as the first entry in the __B holiday moviefest. Woo. Hoo.

Also, Connie Nielson!

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

Marie Curie.

Ada Lovelace.

Beatrix Potter.

And pr0n. Pr0n without the women is Gay pr0n, which scares those kinds of men.*

What have men done for us lately? Invented civilization, my ass.

*because they like it so much.

 
 

OK, Cole linked to this over at Balloon Juice and I had to share – my favorite is “Green Backs and Hemp” although “Oh the Places You’ll Go Galt” is also awesome.

http://drpaul2012.wordpress.com/

 
 

Haven’t caught up with the new threads yet, but just had to stop by real quick to say:

Woohoo! Congrats on the front page Cerb!

 
 

Yeah, womynz! Back away from teh stem-cells & make me a sammich, STAT!

We invented civilization itself!

Then we made damn sure that it remained a fascistic nightmare of universal poverty & disease, human sacrifice, slavery, brutal theocracy & meaningless wars for, oh, a couple of millennia … but hey, no hard feelings, right?

Oh, & that whole Dark Ages thing?

MEN, BABY, MEN!

You’re welcome.

 
 

I for one welcome our new feminine overlords.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

jim said,

December 11, 2011 at 6:53

Yeah, womynz! Back away from teh stem-cells & make me a sammich, STAT!

We invented civilization itself!

Then we made damn sure that it remained a fascistic nightmare of universal poverty & disease, human sacrifice, slavery, brutal theocracy & meaningless wars for, oh, a couple of millennia … but hey, no hard feelings, right?

Oh, & that whole Dark Ages thing?

MEN, BABY, MEN!

You’re welcome.

You’re egoizing, Shevek!

 
 

Way OT – Hey remember my rant about teabagging – how it’s totes urban legend w.r.t. sexual practices and actually a gamer culture thing? This is from teh Spike TV Video Game Award for Best Shooter.

 
 

Hermaphrodites invented civilization itself.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Well for George Romney, it was saying he’d been “brainwashed”, now for Willard, it’s the $10,000 bet. The times they change, but the song* remains the same.

*Searched high and low, but could not find a video of “Hang Down your Head, George Romney” from That Was the Week that Was.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Newton Leroy Gingrich==Only Once, Right-Winger.

Willard Mitt Romney==Immorally, Twit Nerd.

 
 

What if they invented a way to make women irrelevant to the reproductive process?

Do not make me mention “The Crime & the Glory of Commander Suzdal”.

Beatrix Potter.
In my favourite reality, she is remembered for her long and productive research career in the field of symbiosis, and she wrote a few books for children on the side.

Speaking of opening jars, OMG even Rachel Ray can open a jar.
You mean that the Market has not yet invented a jar that could be opened by 100% of the population, even after a century or so when the 50% doing most of the bottling of preserves was the 50% who supposedly couldn’t open them again? That would imply a Market Failure, which is unpossible.

 
 

Fortunately I read the memo a while ago that Identity Politics was a bad thing. So I stopped caring about slights and injustices inflicted on males somewhere in the world as if they were inflicted *on me*, or had more call on my attention than slights and injustices inflicted on non-males.

 
 

I thought I’d seen this rant before, and now I’ve figured out where. This is the standard “white-people-invented-civilization” rant with gender swapped in for race. Conservatives really are incapable of original thought.

 
 

tl;dr but congratulations, Cerb.

 
 

I thought I’d seen this rant before, and now I’ve figured out where.

Married With Children?

 
 

If I could be arsed to follow the link, I’d thank him in comments for his concern for the environment by recycling crappy arguments from the 60s and 70s (and probably earlier but that’s as far as my memory goes). They’re distantly (or not so much) related to creationist arguments that evolution must be false because what are the chances of both male and female evolving in the same species? In other words, a fine blend of ignorance and stupidity.

 
 

My personal favorite?
“It’s the sort of lament one has long heard from the salons of feminism, where the evils of men — war, leaving the toilet seat up — are eagerly condemned, and male contributions to society and family bitterly denigrated.”

Yes, my feminist friends…we have long equated war with the evil of leaving the toilet seat up. Amirite?(could become a new favorite word!) How about seat down, lid up? Ooohh!!11! That really makes my blood boil! Why if women would learn to use a urinal…and men could learn to stop peeing on the floor…we could do away with nasty toilets forever. Ummm…oops…maybe should re-think that one…

Awesome post, thank you for wading through the swamp, so I don’t have to.

Why do people say “Grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding! -Betty White

 
 

Brontes? Never heard of them. Woolf? Winterson? Duffy? Wharton? Weldon? Eliot? Binchy? James? Angelou? No, I’m not stupid, I just think you are. Why do you ask?

 
 

From Homer to Stan Lee, the majority of the world’s great stories have been spun by men.

Ya know, I’m a huge comic book fan, and I’d never in a million years embarrass myself by comparing Stan Lee to Homer.

 
 

The whole premise of the post is ridiculous, but let’s just have a little thought experiment in which all he says is true… That women seek out a world in which they can utterly replace men (1). There is still one thing they cannot ever replace, which is, er, well, …men.

The thing is that no matter how equal women become to men, and men become to women, straight women will still *need* to fuck boys. They are hardwired to need this. Substitutes (2) do not keep straight women happy, and thus a large proportion of women will certainly continue needing men around.

This post is the terrified wail of an undersized and/or unskilled boy who knows he will simply never make the cut.

______

1) Personally I wouldn’t blame em. I’ve never understood why women put up with *me*. Large penis and muscular frame aside, I mean.

2)Straight women just ain’t into teh gay, and there are only so many well trained german shepherds (with carefully trimmed toenails) around.

 
 

I should add that the average German Shepherd likely is a better conversationalist, and can be toilet trained, so there is that.

 
 

I’d never in a million years embarrass myself by comparing Stan Lee to Homer.

Ancient Greek and ancient geek.

 
 

My husband says that women invented civilization: without women, men would be sitting in caves scratching themselves instead of in living rooms scratching themselves. Personally, I think men deserve some credit — but only as far as excludes Matt Patt here.

Nah, civilization was invented by cereal plants which had a tough seed rachis.

 
 

[…] I’d like to take issue with the man-hating, Birkenstock-wearing, not-shaving, bra-exploding femistalinazis at S,N. Girls DO SO have cooties and have never done nuffin of note anywhere ever. Men are totes teh […]

 
 

Cerberus! How lovely! I’m delighted that your work is now bylined! That will make your always erudite, insightful, and gratifyingly wonderful posts easier to find. (And as far as length, shorters vs. longies, etc., I think that there cannot be any such a thing as you wearing out your welcome, especially for me. I’m, like, a huge fan.)

Shouldn’t we be saying that we welcome our new feminine overladies? I mean, there’s no reason they can’t rule the planet and keep a nice manicure at the same time. Certainly women could direct the affairs of seven billion fellow humans without getting, you know, all sweaty and gross.

(The more I read of Petty Patty’s abomination, the more confusion I felt. Whom am I supposed to despise more? The retrotrog who came up with this drivel, or the Internet publishers who saw fit to commit it to electrons?)

 
 

Maureen Dowd wrote a book in 2005 called “Are Men Necessary?” Well, I have a copy of this book from 1937: “How To Live Without A Woman”

http://books.google.com/books/about/How_to_live_without_a_woman.html?id=OqooAAAAYAAJ

I don’t seem to recall a huge hurt outcry from women, most of whom were probably secretly relieved….

 
 

I actually know this guy, having been friends with his brother in high school. He was a pretty self-important douche then, and he’s actually smarter than the crap he writes. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think less of him for willingly writing crap like this and posting it publicly.

 
 

Homer, Byron, Whitman, Dante and Sappho? This isn’t an argument for men being the creative force in society, it’s an argument for homosexuals being such.

 
 

A huge thumbs up, Cerb — and do whatever you feel like doing. Whether it be a shorter to entice mango hunting by those lacking self control, or a longer to keep us from losing our fucking minds by wallowing into the Rightwing Cesspool of Stupid and Fail, we don’t care.

The most important thing: New threads on a regular basis.

That is all.

 
 

So, because gay guys and well-off single parents raise children as well as the awesome nuclear family, men are going to get kicked to the curb? Buh?

 
 

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