Dec
2

Moral and Political Theory For Dummies




Posted at 21:56 by Tintin

Shorter Jo-Dough Loadberg, America’s Shittiest Website™:
The Moral Case for the Free Market

  • Just as there is a moral right for people to speak freely without government interference, companies have a moral right to pollute without any government censorship of their smokestacks.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

302 Comments »

  1. tsam said,

    December 2, 2011 at 21:59

    Why don’t you smoke my stack, Jonah?

  2. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:02

    He wants “minimal governmental intervention,” which in practice boils down to, “You’re OK as long as you don’t build it near my house.”

  3. Pryme said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:05

    I haven’t witnessed stretching of that nature since someone pissed off Bruce Banner.

    The freedom to read what you want, say what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, live how you want is inextricably bound up in the freedom to spend your money and sell the fruits of your labors with minimal government intervention.

    See, Jo-Jo, the problem with that statement is that the 1% has taken strides to prevent such freedoms: blocking certain newspapers or radio stations in certain areas/regions; limiting certain jobs to specific states (usually ones that are anti-union and give them more tax breaks) and hindering what you can sell (just ask the people behind the electric car).

  4. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:07

    i know there were lots of words strung together in structures resembling sentences, but for the life of me, i cannot get them to make a fucking lick of sense!

  5. Major Kong said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:09

    So the giant death-ray I’m building on top of my house is totally OK then?

  6. smedley said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:10

    “The freedom to read what you want, say what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, live how you want is inextricably bound up in the freedom to spend your money and sell the fruits of your labors with minimal government intervention.”

    Food is never far from Jonah’s thoughts.

  7. Pryme said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:10

    So the giant death-ray I’m building on top of my house is totally OK then?

    And the Mary Jane; don’t forget about the Mary Jane.

  8. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:10

    He’s obviously following the well established ruling that throwing your trash in your neighbor’s yard is protected speech.

  9. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:11

    Food is never far from Jonah’s thoughts.

    nor from his shirt front…

  10. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:12

    Oh and “their” should be “there” in that there shorter Tintin.

  11. Jacob Singer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:12

    “their” is a moral right? Tsk tsk…

    I wonder if Loadpants agrees with the personal freedom to unionize with your fellow workers, or would that be an infringement on corporate freedom?

  12. Jacob Singer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:13

    Curses, OBF!

  13. Jacob Singer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:13

    Dammit, OBS. I’ll leave now…

  14. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:17

    Dammit, OBS. I’ll leave now…

    Hehe, I’m just happy that happened to someone other than me for a change.

  15. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:17

    WHY DOES JONAH HATE SPIDERMAN?!!!!

  16. Pupienus said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:18

    I figured the grammaatical error was Tintin doing a J-Load verite thing.

  17. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:18

    nice name tag you added there, Tintin.

  18. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:19

    say what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, live how you want …

    Is this how he announces his support for drug legalization?

  19. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:20

    curse you Pryme. I stepped away for TWO FUCKING MINUTES…

  20. El Manquécito said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:21

    That’s unfair to the late Pigpen. I always liked “Easy Wind” and his cover of “Hard to Handle” was terrific.

  21. Major Kong said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:22

    live how you want

    Unless of course, you happen to have a womb.

  22. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:23

    nice name tag you added there, Tintin.

    i also hope he yellowed the teeth, but fear he left them au naturel…

  23. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:23

    WHY DOES JONAH HATE SPIDERMAN?!!!!

    someone has found a new addiction…

  24. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:23

    Unless of course, you happen to have a womb.

    Or you’re gay and you wanna get married.

  25. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:24

    someone has found a new addiction…

    Down the rabbithole I go.

  26. tsam said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:24

    I’m going OT because Jonah is a fat bitch.

    All I want for Christmas is to witness Newt repeating his remarks that accused poor people of not doing anything for money unless it’s illegal in some inner city somewhere. Just like a typical fat, white rich piece of shit to talk all that tough shit when the targets of his verbal dirty sanchez aren’t around to challenge him.

  27. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:24

    Is this how he announces his support for drug legalization?

    Y’know, it’s always made me curious about these “free market” folks that they (other than the glibertarians) aren’t 100% behind legalization of pot (at least). There’s money to be made people — let the invisible hand of the free market work its magic!

    And for the Buddhists: does an invisible hand leave tracers when you’re imbibing hallucinogens? And how does it plug the bong’s carb hole?

  28. tsam said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:26

    And how does it plug the bong’s carb hole?

    It plugs the carb. You must trust that it plugs the carb and you will be enlightened.

  29. tsam said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:27

    HAHA. Pigpen.

  30. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:28

    All I want for Christmas is to witness Newt repeating his remarks that accused poor people of not doing anything for money unless it’s illegal in some inner city somewhere. Just like a typical fat, white rich piece of shit to talk all that tough shit when the targets of his verbal dirty sanchez aren’t around to challenge him.

    Shovels for everybody this Christmas! On me!

  31. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:29

    Nuthred! Yays!

    OBS: The Free Market is teh hand of Gohd, and therefore is against anything that feels good (dirty filthy) hippies like, even if it makes money. This is why you never catch anyone from the Religious Right paying for sex, right?

  32. Pryme said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:30

    WHY DOES JONAH HATE SPIDERMAN?!!!!

    *Still* better than The Clone Saga or OMIT.

  33. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:34

    address my envelope’s Birthday Wish Came True, Charlie Brown!

  34. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:42

    OT to OBS: Can you link me to the hideous crab creature?

  35. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:45

    OT to OBS: Can you link me to the hideous crab creature?

    Isn’t that what Craigs List is for?
    ~

  36. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:46

    Isn’t that what Craigs List is for?

    “SWF seeks open-minded, hideous crustacean for watersports and moar.”

  37. Aunt Acid said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:47

    “The freedom to read what you want, say what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, live how you want is inextricably bound up in the freedom to spend your money and sell the fruits of your labors with minimal government intervention.”

    So you can safely assume he favors blanket legalization of not only all drugs, but also prostitution, polygamy, horse-porn, gay marriage, incest, necrophilia, occupation protests and Creed concerts, right? I mean, these things only hurt the consenting adults involved, right?

  38. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:51

    Stay in the boat, stay in the boat – I’m telling myself this because part of me wants to see what kind of convoluted moral argument doughbob is trying to make. I’m taking a class in ethics so I have a morbid curiosity on how big a bucket of fail he is selling.

  39. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:51

    address my envelope’s Birthday Wish Came True, Charlie Brown!

    Aaaaand, I’m getting a steak dinner tonight!*

    *apologies to all those who, through no fault of their own, will not be having a steak dinner tonight. Unless you’re Mittens or Newt**, in which case, FOAD.

    **In my dreams, the staffers of all Republican politicians read SN! and giggle like loons.

  40. tsam said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:52

    On me!

    Giggity

  41. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:53

    OT to OBS: Can you link me to the hideous crab creature?

    It was from bbkf’s gizmodo link to the crazy giant cricket.

    There’s also a giant isopod and the hideous crab creature, aka the “coconut crab” aka Dennis.

    They’re undeniably squicky.

  42. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:53

    Hideous crab creature: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mi-go

  43. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:55

    OBS – I mentioned this at the end of the last thread but there is one of those isopods preserved in a jar at Cordley Hall.

  44. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:56

    Hideous crab creature: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mi-go

    Oh wikipedia, you so funny:

    For the mobile operating system, see MeeGo.

    No, I think this illustration is a perfect depiction of that too.

  45. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:59

    Jesus Christ, that isopod looks like a giant roach. Have I mentioned that I hate roaches? I am actually terrified of them. I scream like someone is coming after me with a chainsaw when I see them.

    That crab? Seriously, this place is going to fuck up my dreams for weeks.

  46. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 2, 2011 at 22:59

    I’m telling myself this because part of me wants to see what kind of convoluted moral argument doughbob is trying to make. I’m taking a class in ethics so I have a morbid curiosity on how big a bucket of fail he is selling.

    He’s not making any argument, just a three-sentence petitio principii. “There’s a free market, there’s I dunno, people who think about morality, so quid pro quo, there’s a moral obligation to be able to do the things I like, but none of that pony fucking!! Quod erat demonstradum. What does the pony look like?”.

  47. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:01

    OBS – I mentioned this at the end of the last thread but there is one of those isopods preserved in a jar at Cordley Hall.

    Do. Not. Want. I’m safe here behind my monitor, thanks.

    If I could handle disgusting bugs and other exoskeleton-endowed creatures (like Jonah) I’d be the perfect candidate for “Fear Factor” — all the “scary” stuff they do like jumping off buildings or leaping from a driving car or whatever (while wearing safety harnesses): meh, bring it.

    Here, eat a cockroach: No fucking way, go DIAF.

  48. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:02

    Seriously, this place is going to fuck up my dreams for weeks.

    Aww, you’re welcome!

  49. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:03

    ot: carol of the bells makes me think of samuel coleridge or edgar allen poe having narcotic nightmares…

  50. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:06

    what?!!!!I always loved that one. This version particularly.

  51. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:08

    The pony was asking for it!

  52. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:09

    carol of the bells makes me think of samuel coleridge or edgar allen poe having narcotic nightmares…

    Never, ever, listen to Carol of the Burgers. Seriously, you have been warned, you will not be happy.

  53. DAS said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:12

    J-Load quotes Nozick as pithily pointing out that in socialist societies capitalist acts between consenting adults would be prohibited. A la Mrs. Blackett in The Meaning of Life, I have to ask, how is that any different than us then? We prohibit capitalist acts between consenting adults: e.g. I cannot sell certain drugs or sell my body to be used in sex acts.

    Are we socialist then?

  54. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:12

    vs, that is a sexy, sexy pony. It’s way out of doughload’s league.

    And I want the shoes it’s wearing.

  55. tsam said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:14

    Not so scary creature.

  56. Bigby said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:16

    Pony, zebra what’s the difference? Having just been in Paris, these ads are creepily everywhere…I’m sure Doughbob would approve.

  57. mmy said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:17

    Alternative Shorter J-Dough:

    The only way you can live how you want is if I can choose any method I prefer in order for my factory to give you cancer.

  58. Major Kong said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:17

    We had those coconut crabs on Diego Garcia. They’re even creepier in “person”.

  59. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:18

    Not so scary creature.

    Also.

    too.

  60. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:18

    And I want the shoes it’s wearing.

    Here ya go.

  61. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:19

    Do I even want to know…?

  62. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:20

    Those are hilarious, OBS.

  63. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:23

    Never, ever, listen to Carol of the Burgers. Seriously, you have been warned, you will not be happy.

    grrrr…i have a *friend* on fb who always posts this at xmas time…i, of course have the good taste to link to this

  64. N__B said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:24

    Mr. Loadpants -

    I am a poor immigrant to your land of good and plenty. I wish to create jobs by starting a business that will create SUVs capable of getting fantastic fuel milage. However, government regulators will not give me permits to employ children with hands small enough to assemble the engines nor to use the childrens’ remains as the secret fuel. What do you suggest?

  65. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:25

    too.

    this made me lol in an unseemly manner…

  66. Bigby said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:26

    Sorry to take you down that road, vacuumslayer, if indeed it was my link that got you The Others and not just a coinkydink.

  67. Lucianne's Botched Abortion said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:34

    I am a poor immigrant to your land of good and plenty. I wish to create jobs by starting a business that will create SUVs capable of getting fantastic fuel milage. However, government regulators will not give me permits to employ children with hands small enough to assemble the engines nor to use the childrens’ remains as the secret fuel. What do you suggest?

    Midgets!

  68. vacuumslayer said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:35

    Sorry to take you down that road, vacuumslayer, if indeed it was my link that got you The Others and not just a coinkydink.

    No need for “sorry.” That stuff tickles my funnybone.

    Maybe I have a weird funnybone.

  69. Pryme said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:38

    Midgets!

    That, “beer,” and “duct tape” are usually the best way to answer a question.

  70. bbkf said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:41

    Midgets!

    That, “beer,” and “duct tape” are usually the best way to answer a question.

    i wish i would have known this years ago…

  71. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 2, 2011 at 23:52

    A.K. is a weta expert.
    ~

  72. tsam said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:01

    Kindred spirit.

  73. El Manquecito said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:04

    Midgets, beer and duct tape Mr Bond.

  74. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:08

    otoh, barenaked ladies/sarah mclachlan’s god rest ye merry gentlemen is always awesome…

  75. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:09

    Kindred spirit.

    perpetuating the lore…

  76. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:14

    Kindred spirit.

    That person must be a liberal, says Pennis….

  77. Smut Clyde said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:35

    It was from bbkf’s gizmodo link to the crazy giant cricket.

    For the record, the giant weta shown in that particular story is a normal-sized specimen for that species. They do come bigger.

  78. John D. said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:39

    I’ll take J-Load’s opinions here under consideration just as soon as he agrees to breath nothing but poisoned air, eat nothing but tainted food, and drink nothing but polluted water.

  79. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 3, 2011 at 0:43

    I hope Cap’n Crazybread stays in the race, after all, only he can save us from Medusa.

  80. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:00

    The giant cricket is pretty scary looking, but this is the critter that haunts my nightmares:

    http://www.worsleyschool.net/science/files/japanese/hornet.html

  81. bbkf's sleepless nights said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:06

    but this is the critter that haunts my nightmares:

    thanks for sharing!

  82. Spearhafoc, whose hasn't read the thread yet said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:07

    That’s low. Dropping the Doughy Pantload on us with no warning. It’s barely a step up from full-on Goetzi*.

    *Otto Goetzi was the truly bizarre vampire from the obscure 19th century French novel La Ville Vampire. Warning: Full on Goetzi.

  83. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:13

    but this is the critter that haunts my nightmares:

    You could have also linked to Newt.

    Wasp/Weta 2012!!!

  84. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:14

    I’d take them over the prehistoric cockroach.

  85. tigris said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:15

    J-Load quotes Nozick as pithily pointing out that in socialist societies capitalist acts between consenting adults would be prohibited.

    Why would they be? Socialism just means the workers own the means of production and that there aren’t external owners who profit without working, it doesn’t mean the workers can’t sell their wares or services.

  86. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:15

    And by that I mean Newt.

  87. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:17

    And by that I mean Newt.

    yeah, he’s actually a slimy lizard.

  88. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:19

    I think you’re being pretty unfair to slimy lizards.

  89. bbkf's sleepless nights said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:21

    I think you’re being pretty unfair to slimy lizards.

    and to cookies…

  90. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:32

    I’ll take J-Load’s opinions here under consideration just as soon as he agrees to breath nothing but poisoned air

    ftfy

  91. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:35

    Also, too: The gummint has no right to censor my violence, ergo, murder is morally proper and should be legal.

    Fucking DoughBob

  92. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:43

    Der Loededhosen talking about moral reasoning is pretty much like a coconut crab holding forth on metal-matrix composites and their applications in space exploration.

  93. Pupienus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:44

    Do I even want to know…?

    I am …. curious, myself.

  94. Pupienus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:46

    WTF is with polite WP? “Your comment has been added thank you” FYWP. I will always hate you.

  95. Pupienus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:49

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/24/orangina-gay-cat-ad-in-fr_n_624370.html

  96. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:51

    Well, the hornets are bad, but this is worse: http://www.damninteresting.com/giant-carnivorous-centipedes/

    And a more humorous take on scary critters: http://www.cracked.com/article_18445_7-thankfully-extinct-giant-versions-modern-animals.html

  97. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:55

    Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 1:43

    Der Loededhosen talking about moral reasoning is pretty much like a coconut crab holding forth on metal-matrix composites and their applications in space exploration.

    That is a thing of beauty.

  98. sparks said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:07

    Jesus Christ, that isopod looks like a giant roach. Have I mentioned that I hate roaches? I am actually terrified of them. I scream like someone is coming after me with a chainsaw when I see them.

    I never saw a roach in my life until I helped a friend move. I saw this big bug skittering across the kitchen floor and I asked him “what the hell is that?!?”, and he told me it was a cockroach, got out the spray and drowned it in Raid. He then showed me a number of dead ones he got earlier in the day. He lived maybe a mile away from me, but in a low-lying area whereas I lived on a hill. I was plagued with ants and the occasional silverfish, but he never saw either, just roaches. Since then I wondered if the different living conditions are conducive to each. Then again, I have lizards living my garden.

  99. Pupienus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:12

    Someone mentioned inappropriate Xmas decorations last thread. http://i.imgur.com/EcIHJ.jpg

  100. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:13

    Thanks oh yeasty one:

    The alarmingly massive centipede can, however, cause symptoms such as local sharp pain, swelling, chills, fever, weakness, and uncontrollable running-away-and-screaming.

    Yes, yes indeed.

  101. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:14

    In the South, pretty much every place has roaches. Except they call them “palmetto bugs”, I guess to pretend that they’re not really roaches – which they are.

  102. bbkf's sleepless nights said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:18

    Thanks oh yeasty one:

    this is what i found alarming:

    Adults commonly reach lengths of over thirty-five centimeters– the length of a man’s forearm. Not only are these creatures very swift runners, but they are also highly adept climbers, a skill which allows them to scale walls to enjoy some surprisingly ambitious prey.

  103. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:18

    The alarmingly massive centipede Loadberg blogpost can, however, cause symptoms such as local sharp pain, swelling, chills, fever, weakness, and uncontrollable running-away-and-screaming.

    FTFme

  104. Alkonholics Anonymous said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:27

    I’d like to know whose ass needs pounding, Coulter-style.

  105. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:35

    Southern roaches are palmetto bugs the way that southern pigeons are doves and southern politicians are gentlemen.

  106. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:43

    “The freedom to read what you want, say what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, live how you want is inextricably bound up in the freedom to spend your money and sell the fruits of your labors with minimal government intervention.”

    Specifically “eat what you want”.

    No, no it is not. Minimal government intervention is a straight road to eating what “they” want, what the food producers and monopolies feel would make the most money. And it’s much harder to be a conscientious consumer who is aware of what they are consuming and making proper market decisions about that, because there’s less regulation and enforcement guaranteeing that what someone says an item is is actually that item.

    More goverment intervention is what gives you more eating freedom because you can go to the store and get your food without worrying if you are consuming toxic-waste encrusted pig balls and if you have a taste for toxic-waste encrusted pig balls, you can go to the black market, or have it imported or so on to meet that need.

    But seeing as how most people aren’t conservatives who would gladly poison themselves as long as they think a liberal somewhere would be sad about it, the state of affairs where the toxic-waste encrusted pig balls is the harder item to find works best in a real free market rather than the “sit down, shut up, and buy whatever we offer or else” system we have now.

  107. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:44

    I perspire, I don’t sweat.

  108. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:49

    I demand my toxic waste encrusted pig balls! Pig balls for FREEDUM!

  109. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:50

    vs –

    In the South they say “Horses sweat, men perspire, women don’t”

  110. bbkf's sleepless nights said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:56

    In the South they say “Horses sweat, men perspire, women don’t”

    i believe us lady types just ‘glow’

  111. tigris said,

    December 3, 2011 at 2:56

    Women glow.

    Especially if they work down at the Westclox painting the hands.

  112. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:05

    Bye folks. I’m off to Paris (for work). I’ll be sitting reserve for two weeks.

  113. Smut Clyde said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:11

    yeah, he’s actually a slimy lizard.
    Do not tease the taxonomy pedant.

    There’s also a giant isopod
    I do not believe anyone has linked to the fish-tongue-eating isopod story recently.

  114. Smut Clyde said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:13

    yeah, he’s actually a slimy lizard.
    Do not tease the taxonomy pedant.

    FYWP has put my “fish-tongue-eating isopod” link into isolation. A sad, I has it.

  115. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:24

    It’s hard to believe I work up a stink *glowing*. I mean, um, scent. I work up a scent.

  116. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:28

    WP, as a scented, glowing southern belle, I would be much obliged if you just kindly posted my comments instead of thanking me for them.

  117. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:29

    Glows stink. That why fireflies are social outcasts.

  118. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:34

    What? Fireflies are cool as shit!

  119. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:35

    See, you’re comparing them to shit. Social outcasts, I tells ya.

  120. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:42

    Kong, enjoy Paris.

    There’s no chance you’ll, um, have to go further, is there?

  121. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:44

    BS –

    No love for Kodos?

  122. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 3:44

    Hmm, let’s mango this bitch.

    One of the interesting conversations in the comment section for my column on China-envy, is whether there’s a moral case for capitalism.

    Please ignore that all of the blather of “perfectly functioning free market” and “meritocracy” runs afoul of my huge salary writing poorly thought out paragraph long posts that don’t even bother to leave my own blog and which I only got because the 1% needed a hack to promote obvious lies and projection not to mention that my mom fucked my way into this industry.

    The short answer is: Of course there is.

    What? Actually present it? Actually make a case for why capitalism is a moral system, especially the system that I argue is “capitalism defined” or even link to one of the Heritage Foundation hacks paid to do nothing but make up smart sounding propaganda for hacks like me to link to?

    Unh, that sounds hard. Can’t I just coast the rest of my life on “I published that book attacked by mean old liberal historians and their mean old ‘actual understanding of history’”?

    The freedom to read what you want, say what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, live how you want is inextricably bound up in the freedom to spend your money and sell the fruits of your labors with minimal government intervention.

    Already covered this one, but yeah, no it isn’t. In fact doing all of those often require “government intervention” and regulation. Hell, let’s just look at Somalia. No government and it’s really hard to go where you want, say what you want, eat what you want, live (much less live how you want), or spend your money or sell the fruits of your labors, because the necessary infrastructure that makes such things possible and the minimum safety net that allows one to think beyond basic survival aren’t in place.

    In fact, the more government regulation, the more actual freedom there is. Look at somewhere like Denmark where people feel more free to walk the streets, trust the items they buy in the stores without researching the company thoroughly on the internet, start businesses, and certainly to buy goods. And that’s because people have a guaranteed minimum income that prevents people from having to devote 100+% of their income on basic necessities and thus stuck buying whatever is cheapest no matter how bad it is for them.

    Hell, the goods aren’t even all that cheaper (my grocery bill in Denmark for much better quality goods that were limited by local needs and so on was not much higher than here and there I at least had the novelty of actually having money left over for sending home and minor luxuries).

    Of course, what he and the other 1% blowjob givers are actually arguing for isn’t so much a free market as one wherein the ultra rich sell whatever they want, no matter how openly toxic or poorly made it is and the masses have to buy it because they have no other options.

    I know that’s the case because if they really were free market fetishists, they wouldn’t be attacking the government, but rather attacking monopoly industries like PG&E for blocking any meaningful competition.

    That the relationship between economic freedom and political freedom can sometimes be complicated doesn’t mean it’s any less real or vital.

    OMG! This is the best part.

    Let me translate:

    Just because when we actually listen to people like me and try “economic freedom” inducing policies, the personal and political freedom craters through the floor until people have to take to the streets simply to argue “hey, can you guys actually pretend we have a right to exist again” and the right to speech ends up constantly under attack by public resources working on behalf of private benefactors, doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it just means the relationship is complicated.

    I mean, inverse is complicated, right?

    As Robert Nozick famously said, “The socialist society would have to forbid capitalist acts between consenting adults.”

    And to demonstrate it, let me quote a known hack who didn’t understand what was at the time one of the more studied and criticized economic philosophies on the planet. Also, this pale critique of socialism proves unregulated capitalism is awesome because-

    Click, brrrrr gasp brrrrrrrrrrr.

    Aw, our mango must have hung up.

    Seriously though, how bad must it be for the hacks when they don’t even have some good-sounding platitudes anymore to defend their naked looting of everyone else’s labor? Can’t even give us a “rising tide lifts all boats”, all you’ve got is “there’s probably a case and besides socialism would be worse”?

    I know you’re lazy, man, but that’s some seriously weak sauce.

  123. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 3, 2011 at 4:25

    Those shoes… *drool*

    Cerebus: I am seriously insulted that J-Load is passing off one paragraph of completely unresearched pap as a post. More insulted that he’s paid for this shit, because though I can write ten paragraphs easy in my blog, I will not get paid a dime. And I do my research!

    And that “socialist society” quote is the capper for me. Really? You’re actually using that quote in a country that does not allow consensual prostitution, free drug use, and the right to die without Congress working on Easter Sunday to try and countermand your stated wishes? Really?

  124. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:16

    holy crap!!! hubbkf and i just returned home and about a half a block away from our abode a buck ran out right in front of us…it literally could not have been any closer to vanna’s front bumper w/out being hit…scared the crap out of us both…

  125. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:17

    okay…two things:

    what is up with wp? and safe travels to the major…

  126. jim said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:28

    What’s that, Lassie? Doughy crawled up his own ass AGAIN?!

    This is a job for … Spoor-Depositing Man!


    12/02/11 22:15

    Less than 200 words? Not exactly a resounding endorsement.

    One can make the case that generating profit should be a basic human right – & it might even be a very good case indeed. However, arguing that the system that allows for said profit has an inherent moral good is much more problematic. I rather doubt the denizens of London slums circa 1850 would enthusiastically agree with your perspective – nor would Indonesians circa 1965. It is just as logical to argue that technology (which has produced far more demonstrable benefits to humankind than ANY economic system) is inherently virtuous – a thesis that any bright child with a computer can destroy in less than a minute flat.

    A for-profit system can just as easily be run via a command economy as can a non-profit system. True laissez-faire capitalist free-markets always produce the fastest rise in profit &/or extraction of resources under dictatorships. There seems to be a default toward “Friendly Fascism” as regards free-market capitalism: with their export strength & relative prosperity, either China or Singapore could be seen as a “worker’s paradise” … just don’t ever oppose or criticize the regime – or its corporate cronies – if you know what’s good for you. Your own country’s history shows that a free-market system is perfectly sympatico with human slavery – & its economy suffered mightily for many years after it abolished that highly profitable institiution. Again, not exactly an airtight case, to put it very mildly.

    Neither free nor managed markets contain any inherent morality. A market is a system for buying/selling or trading, nothing more.

    The freedoms you list are chimeras in the absence of a government strong enough to keep the predatory instincts of the strong in check – ask a Somali – & once it becomes “minimal” enough, those freedoms are doomed. Without good governance, your freedom will be equivalent to whatever the strongest decide you deserve – & history shows that you will usually be classified as undeserving.

    Mixed economies under democratic multi-party governments invariably produce the happiest, healthiest, safest citizens on average.

    Pigpen doesn’t deserve more on his dresser than a rusty penny for such lazy whoring.

  127. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:33

    holy crap!!! hubbkf and i just returned home and about a half a block away from our abode a buck ran out right in front of us…it literally could not have been any closer to vanna’s front bumper w/out being hit…scared the crap out of us both…

    Imagine the same shit happening to you in Nashville at 1 a.m. on an August morning.
    .

  128. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:36

    Vanna?

  129. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:49

    Vanna?

    well, actually her full name is vanna elaine…i wanted to name the windstar ‘elaine’ but hubbkf’s *creativity* won out and her given name is ‘vanna’…

    and jp…there would have been much, much pooping had that happened to me…

  130. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 3, 2011 at 5:54

    and jp…there would have been much, much pooping had that happened to me…

    I wasn’t right downtown, but I was between the Cumberland River and I-40 (both of which seem to be natural boundaries for deer… and they were about 100 yards apart on the stretch of Cabot Drive, a residential neighborhood), so it wasn’t quite a scene from 12 Monkeys. But it surprised the fuck out of me!
    .

  131. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:03

    The fact is, any atempt to dispareage the free market is the act of a hitler. Or a socialest liberal.

  132. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:03

    But it surprised the fuck out of me!

    they always do, jp…they always do…

  133. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:04

    seriously…what the eff is with wordpress?

  134. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:05

    i do not care for it…

  135. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:06

    they always do, jp…they always do…

    Well, more for where I encountered it than anything else.

  136. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:15

    trust me…this area is thick with deer, but it is always a fucking surprise when BOOM…they’re right fucking there…

  137. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:28

    We regularly get deer out here in the boonies, and every now and then I luck into a really good deer skull (I am, ostensibly, an artist by trade). I usually put it out in the trees in the back yard for the beetles to clean. I discovered one day, completely by accident, that deer skulls are large enough to catch the eye of passing black vultures, who will then all come and investigate. Imagine my surprise when I looked out and the trees were full of vultures.

    The pair of black vultures that nest in my old chicken coop (I’m commenting like crazy today, so I may as well blogwhore my vultures post, too) were slightly concerned. They calmed down when I shooed off all the interlopers.

    Black vultures are the ultimate socialist society, btw – they all go out looking for food, but instead of eating it when they find it, they go back to the roost. In the morning, all the vultures that found food go back to the food, and all the vultures that didn’t follow them so everyone gets a share. No “lion’s share”-type hoarding, either – everyone gets a chance to eat. It’s sad that vultures know how to take care of their own better than Republicans.

  138. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 6:40

    poop…i cannot see the vulture pics…and they sounded pretty amusing…one morning we awoke to the local roving band of wild turkeys roosting in our trees…sadly they were gone before hubbkf could get his camera…

  139. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 7:26

    who knew there were two sides to da cool coach?

  140. bbkf said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:01

    christmas awesomeness…just cuz…

  141. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:07

    Went back to check out the comments. I can see why Jonah Goldberg brings his C game. These people are so desperate to have not been cheering the wrong team their entire lives that really any column at all is an excuse for them to try and self-justify their support for a system that fucks them without lube and is right now as we’re all watching stomping all over first amendment rights by outright buying out the police forces of major metropolitan areas.

    Some examples:

    “The socialist society would have to forbid capitalist acts between consenting adults.”
    That gets to the heart of the matter now doesn’t it. Yes, markets are messy. But even the most high-minded and best-conceived plans to rig markets generally do more harm than good, specifically because of how they must infringe individuals’ rights to achieve their objectives.

    It would have totally been worse if we would have regulated it, I can’t believe otherwise. No literally, I can’t. If I do, my cognitive dissonance will consume me with the raw horror of what I’ve supported because some people got me so scared of a bunch of johnny-come-latelies to the Industrial Revolution that I voluntarily gave up every worker right protection that ensured the 1950s boom years.

    There is no freedom without economic freedom.

    Repeat the magic words and Gamera will save us!

    The Socialist believes that if I am forced to give a portion of my income to the poor, I am somehow engaged in good moral behavior.
    The Free Marketer believes that a person is only engaged in moral behavior if they are given a choice and they choose the “good” behavior. Therefore, free markets are the more morally good system, as they are the only ones that allow people to make morally good choices.

    And when it turns out that when they are given a choice they abandon their “good moral duty” and demand even more money from other people’s hard labor?

    Oh will you look at the time.

    And lots of this:

    I think Nozick only has it partly right. It’s not just the socialists that have tried to outlaw the basic law’s of economics (and by extension basic human interactions). Politicians of every stripe are bound and determined to overturn the law of supply and demand and have been trying for years.

    I iz smart libertarian who thinks deep about philosophy and shit, think of me smart while lib iz stupids, I will use big words and concepts me no understand to show I iz smart and think deeply, unaware that my very agreement with not-even-trying shlock show I iz no smart. Me think I show libs good, conservatives iz true thinkers.

    WOLVERINES for the free-market. Less lube, more fucking. The idol will give us gold if we just pray to it harder!

  142. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:15

    “The socialist society would have to forbid capitalist acts between consenting adults.”

    That explains why those Scandinavian countries are such dystopian hellho— wait. No. No, it doesn’t explain anything.

  143. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:18

    Why would they be? Socialism just means the workers own the means of production and that there aren’t external owners who profit without working, it doesn’t mean the workers can’t sell their wares or services.

    I’m curious as to what right-wing people actually thinks occurs in the socialist and/or communist nations on a fundamental, day-to-day living level.

    Well, actually, I’m not /that/ curious, as I’m sure it involves no thoughts whatsoever to people from socialist or communist countries actually being people with day-to-day lives, and instead are just nebulous hobgoblins plotting the destruction of the natural essences of red-blooded American capitalism.

    The concept that a guy in Sweden still has to buy shit in the socialist economy probably doesn’t occur to them.

  144. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:19

    wiley-

    Yeah, the fall of the Soviet Union was the worst thing to happen to the Free Market fetishists. It’s easy to say Stalin and Mao’s collosal fuckups of communism were a strong negative counterpart to American culture (you know, after Stalin’s Russia shamed us into looking into our whole “segregation” “image problem”).

    When the first thing that pops into people’s heads when you mention socialism is “what like Sweden”, there really is nothing to be done but to hope that they know absolutely nothing about Scandanavian life so you can pretend its just as much a Soviet hellhole as the old scare tactics.

  145. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:22

    Or to put it another way, the impulse that had guys in Soviet Russia waiting in lines for bread is just a more immediate form of the impulse that has fuckers waiting in lines outside Sears at midnight on Black Friday to buy a hairdryer.

    And in both cases, the guy still has to exchange currency for goods and services, you fucking assholes.

  146. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:22

    Cerberus and jim, you really did a great job eviscerating this gutless meatbag. Yeah, the unfettered free market usually leads to shit like melamine tainted milk and “Love Canal” situations.

    It’s a libertarian axiom that governments can restrict “freedom”, but corporations cannot, which is an obvious pile of horseshit.

  147. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:31

    St. Trotsky-

    No need to imagine. They think it looks like this.

    I don’t even think they’re equipped to really process the fucking existence of Scandanavian countries right now, even though they are arguing that anything less than Somalia is Soviet-style oppression. Probably because they demonstrate that a strongly socialized capitalist country with high taxes and a strong safety net provide way better quality of life than over here and the answer to our problems is way more socialism than less.

    Interestingly enough, while looking for the first photo, I found this comparative picture noting that our traffic jams are essentially the same deal as the bread lines.

  148. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:52

    It’s not just the socialists that have tried to outlaw the basic law’s of economics (and by extension basic human interactions).

    Besides the hilarious grammar FAIL!, this sentence struck me- these gomers really have no concept of normal human relationships, do they?

    Politicians of every stripe are bound and determined to overturn the law of supply and demand and have been trying for years.

    Says the guy who, undoubtedly, thinks that “supply side” economics actually works.

  149. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 8:53

    Gadzooks, WordPress has gotten more annoying than ever!

  150. Smut Clyde said,

    December 3, 2011 at 9:41

    It’s sad that vultures know how to take care of their own better than Republicans.

    Vultures and vampire bats.

  151. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 10:22

    It’s not just the socialists that have tried to outlaw the basic law’s of economics (and by extension basic human interactions).

    Assfucking your neighbor after you’ve roofied his beer is neither basic human interaction nor proper behavior upon which to build a society or a moral framework.

    Doughfail.

  152. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 10:23

    I think someone roofied WP.

  153. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 10:34

    Vultures and vampire bats.
    And hagfish deep-dwelling.
    Goiters, and head lice,
    And baboon butts swelling,
    Fungus that grows on my skin forming rings
    These are a few of my favorite things.

  154. Smut Clyde said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:22

    No PEN1S.

  155. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:24

    Wow, somebody drew a dong on the anti-graffiti sign… that takes balls.

  156. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:32

    There’s no chance you’ll, um, have to go further, is there?

    I’ll be sitting reserve, so I could have to fly anywhere the company goes in Europe and the Med. I had to pack for everything from Stockholm to Tel Aviv.

    Sitting in Amsterdam waiting on a connection to Paris.

  157. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:34

    they know absolutely nothing about Scandanavian life so you can pretend its just as much a Soviet hellhole as the old scare tactics.

    Imagine my surprise when I went to Stockholm for the first time expecting to find identical rows of grim, Soviet-style apartment blocks.

  158. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:35

    Sitting in Amsterdam waiting on a connection to Paris.

    Being cooped up in Schipol sounds like no fun at all.

  159. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:46

    The security here is rather thorough.

    “Sir, you have to at least buy me dinner first if you want to touch me there.”

  160. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 13:57

    The security man at CdG was unamused by my honest answer to his question about what was in my bag: “Mostly dirty laundry.”

  161. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 3, 2011 at 14:47

    The security man at CdG was unamused by my honest answer to his question about what was in my bag: “Mostly dirty laundry.”

    He thought you were making fun of French standards of hygiene.

  162. actor212 said,

    December 3, 2011 at 15:05

    The whole point behind the free market system is it is amoral, Fudgie. It has no morals.

    Using morality to defend the free market system is like using science to explain the Bible.

    Or the Bible to explain science.

  163. actor212 said,

    December 3, 2011 at 15:07

    they know absolutely nothing about Scandanavian life so you can pretend its just as much a Soviet hellhole as the old scare tactics.

    We prefer it that way, actually. Keeps the riff raft out.

  164. actor212 said,

    December 3, 2011 at 15:07

    The security man at CdG was unamused by my honest answer to his question about what was in my bag: “Mostly dirty laundry.”

    He thought you were making fun of French standards of hygiene.

    Or you were bringing in your Fall collection to show.

  165. actor212 said,

    December 3, 2011 at 15:08

    riff raft

    Hm. You know, for a typo, this has potential…

  166. Chris said,

    December 3, 2011 at 16:19

    The Socialist believes that if I am forced to give a portion of my income to the poor, I am somehow engaged in good moral behavior.
    The Free Marketer believes that a person is only engaged in moral behavior if they are given a choice and they choose the “good” behavior. Therefore, free markets are the more morally good system, as they are the only ones that allow people to make morally good choices.

    One of many straw man arguments conservatives love to engage in. I don’t believe that a person forced to give a portion of his income to the poor is engaging in moral behavior, and I don’t really give a damn. I believe providing the poor with the resources to not starve to death in the streets is moral behavior and that any society worth its salt needs to make sure of it. Period.

    Asking “but are people really being good if it’s the government using their money to help the poor?” is like asking “do people refrain from murder because they’re good people or because they’re afraid of going to jail?” Quite obviously it’s the latter, in many cases. Guess what? We still have police departments, because if we’re going to count on the innate goodwill of American citizens and nothing else to do the right thing, we’re going to be waiting for a long, long time, and a fuckton of perfectly good people are going to end up dead.

    And allowing that to happen is a very immoral thing, just for all the ivory-tower jackasses out there.

    I also love this argument – “charity’s better than welfare because charity comes from the heart and shows that I’m a really good person!” – because it so perfectly illustrates what their priorities are. In their world, apparently, the point of charity is to win brownie points with God and/or prove what good people they are rather than to, y’know, actually help the poor – and when evaluating one form of charity versus another, they don’t ask themselves “which of these things helps the poor more,” they ask themselves “which of these things makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” Wraps up the conservative mindset perfectly.

  167. Woodrowfan said,

    December 3, 2011 at 16:49

    so apparently if I own a business I am free to empty my trashcans on j-load’s front lawn? Works for me!

  168. Woodrowfan said,

    December 3, 2011 at 16:51

    Chris, plus, they brag about giving enough money to private charity to feed 10 people, then they turn around and vote for a candidate who will cut food aid to thousands. That’s moral?!?!?!!?!

  169. Aunt Acid said,

    December 3, 2011 at 17:30

    “redistribution” is another one of their scare words, as if redistributing wealth more equally were a bad thing. Redistribution of wealth is what governments do. It’s really what government is. The degree to which a government can use the wealth of its most successful citizens to benefit society as a whole is a measure of how effective that government is. In fact, it is the only measure that has any meaning at all.

  170. Woodrowfan said,

    December 3, 2011 at 17:47

    hell, redistribution of wealth is what the free market does!!!!!

  171. Woodrowfan said,

    December 3, 2011 at 17:48

    somebody please shoot Word Press.

  172. tsam said,

    December 3, 2011 at 18:17

    I wanna see what wp is up to

  173. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 3, 2011 at 18:44

    Chris: Yet, funnily enough, when it comes to women’s right to choose, they’re all up in the government telling people what they can and can’t do. By their own logic, wouldn’t allowing women to choose to abort and decide whether or not to have a baby on their own make their choice that much more moral? If the government makes that choice for them, then they’re not moral any way you slice it.* Women should be allowed to be moral, just like the free market!

    Oh, silly me, I forgot. Women are a commodity in these idiots’ eyes, not people.

    *this is one of Mr Lips’ favourite argument about morality and abortion rights.

  174. Thread Bear said,

    December 3, 2011 at 18:59

    It is okay to legislate against sex and lust and abortion because the Bible tells us that these are morally wrong. The Bible’s stance on greed and usury is much clearer, but Jonah is arguing that there is a moral case for greed and usury. I just love cut and paste Christianity.

  175. Thread Bear said,

    December 3, 2011 at 19:02

    so apparently if I own a business I am free to empty my trashcans on j-load’s front lawn? Works for me!

    Yes, but only if it is financially advatageuos to do so.

  176. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 19:44

    I wish ther wur monee in mispeeling thinngs. I wood be so ritch!

  177. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 19:44

    I know my comments been added, dumbass!

  178. gocart mozart said,

    December 3, 2011 at 19:47

    Are conservatives familiar with the principle, “My right to swing my fist ends with your nose?” Why doesn’t this also apply to “My right to dump toxic chemicals into the air and water ends with your lungs and and stomach?”

    Just got back from two days in D.C. as a tourist. Drove by occupy D.C. in a tour bus. It was relatively small and well behaved with no police presence that I could see. Also,the Washington monument seems to have been damaged by the earthquake more than I had thought. “No tourists for the indefinite future!” I hope it doesn’t become the leaning tower of D.C. Saw the MLK memorial and it is excellent. Photos don’t do it justice.

  179. gocart mozart said,

    December 3, 2011 at 19:56

    My copy of the bible also says something about “being good stewards of the Earth.” Maybe I have the George Soros funded version.

  180. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:01

    Being good stewards of the earth means showing the label before pouring a taste.

  181. gocart mozart said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:02

    Apparently, now you have to click refresh to see your comment. I blame tintin. Now that Hollywood has made a movie of his life, he gets his jollies fucking with us little people.

  182. Pupienus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:25

    Being cooped up in Schipol sounds like no fun at all.

    Actually, Schiphol is one of the better airports to spend some time. Best prices on Korenwijn anywhere.

  183. jim said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:26

    I think someone roofied WP.

    Mayhap a jot &/or tittle of updating shennanigans are afoot?

    It looked exactly as though the “Spoor-Depositing Man!” blurb failed, yet when I went to re-submit ( use control-c / or many tears for thee ) it told me it was already received even though invisible … HHHHHEEEENNNNGGGHHHH?

    WTFYWP

  184. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:28

    I just saw a trailer for that movie. He looks younger than I pictured him.

  185. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:31

    Schiphol is a hell of a big place to run across and catch your connection, though.

  186. Pupienus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:51

    Unbelievable. Jerry Sandusky keeps digging a deeper hole. And being even more of a disgusting sicko.

    http://www.centredaily.com/2011/12/03/3007468/sandusky-speaks-out.html

  187. jim said,

    December 3, 2011 at 20:57

    NOW my PREVIOUS comment is reproduced under the comment window … um … twice.

    Once with my icon, once without.

    Also it has the confirmation hanging under THIS comment … a quirk which doesn’t parse all that terribly well with my not having finished making it yet.

    WordPress Tech Committee meeting?

  188. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:09

    Chris @ 16:19

    This statement of yours really brings into focus just how much IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is involved every time glibertarian assholes tsk tsk over how “utopic” liberals are being when they promote some social cause and how liberal ideas are based on believing that everyone is basically good, while conservative ideas are tough enough to deal with the real world.

    So yeah, they say this then champion a system where it could only work if every rich person was a perfect moral being who was inherently more generous than mandated systems (but apparently unwilling to be so unless not mandated, because apparently people operate entirely on reverse psychology so the only way to eliminate murder is to make it legal and rewarded with presents). And then act confused when it turns out that the type of people who whine about a miniscule and meaningless percentage of wealth they couldn’t hope to spend in a lifetime are no less willing to make up the safety net when they are no longer “forced”.

    Yeah, it may be a more impactful moral choice when you decide to do something because of your own guilt, empathy, and kindness, but it turns out life isn’t some meaningless backdrop to a morality play and the poor kinda need to survive whether or not Mr. Scrooge has his Christmas Day change of heart.

    Also, add another log of cognitive dissonance to the growing number of “Christian libertarian types” who argue that a system enforcing “good behavior” robs people of the opportunity to make real moral choices (because “do more than required” or “treat people with dignity and respect” are just a non-existant concepts in libertarian sociopath land) yet believe in a system where people try and get into Heaven entirely out of fear of going to Hell for this or that infraction. And that this somehow makes them more moral than some atheist who can only choose to do good because of the empathy they have for their fellow man.

    But yeah, I think the main problem is that I don’t think they view the “masses” as anything other than backdrops for their personal story. Temptations avoided, enemies to rail against, certain deserving sob stories to praise themselves for helping with no government demands (only the moral duty of your weekly church tithe), and so on.

    The idea that other people are trying to live their own lives, survive, and maybe there should be some sort of collective human invention of everyone pitching in and doing their part so people don’t fall through the cracks and the systems we all rely on still able to operate, is just anathema.

    They are either a child’s fable’s hero, lone against the world, proving by each action their morality or bravery or they are nothing and so find themselves whining more about how awesome they could be if let completely loose from any and all obligations to other people instead of realizing what their actions in this world have already proven about their character.

    Hint: It’s not good.

  189. El Manquécito said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:18

    I like how often people mis-spell Cerebus or Cerebrus, mis-steaking cerebral for a hell-hound. Well, Cerb, just tell ‘em; “Styx and stones may break my bones…”

  190. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:22

    NOW my PREVIOUS comment is reproduced under the comment window … um … twice.

    Thank god for NoScript. PREVIEW HAS ALWAYS LIED ANYWAY.

  191. El Manquécito said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:24

    We have always been at war with East Preview.

  192. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:26

    Sandusky, facing grave charges and the possibility of imprisonment, discussed how much was now missing from his life and how much more might be missing in the future.

    “I miss coaching,” he said. “I miss Second Mile. I miss Second Mile kids. I miss interrelationships with all kinds of people. I miss my own grandkids. I miss, I mean you know I’m going to miss my dog. So, I mean, yeah, I miss, yeah. Good grief.

    “I used to have a lot of contact with a lot of people and so that circle is diminished, and as it diminished, you know Bo is still there,” he said of his dog. “And I swear he understands. I swear he knows. And you know I love him dearly for that.”

    DON’T FUCK THE DOG.

  193. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:39

    Yeah, the fall of the Soviet Union was the worst thing to happen to the Free Market fetishists.

    Yeah, they tried really hard to use “Islamo-fascism” as a replacement strap-on, but as soon as 9-11 stopped meaning Sure, I don’t mind if you search my bag, tap my phone, and give me a rectal exam at the airport— I’ve got nothing to hide—U.S.A.! U.S.A.! that supplemental appendage got sorta limp.

    Vilifying Muslim things like poo-poo-ing usury and having a religious obligation to take care of the widows and orphaned children, and such, isn’t going to wash right now with any but the already faithful (boot-lickers and dick-suckers of the fabulously well-to-do).

    You know what? I got that red, squiggly spell-check line under “boot-lickers. “My spell-check recognizes “boot-kickers, boot-lockers, boot-kickers, boot-slickers, boot-flickers, and boot-clickers”, though. I’m going to have to remedy that. That won’t do.

  194. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:51

    Are conservatives familiar with the principle, “My right to swing my fist ends with your nose?” Why doesn’t this also apply to “My right to dump toxic chemicals into the air and water ends with your lungs and and stomach?”

    This would be the reason that they’ve devoted so much of their internal cognitive dissonance to work denying that anything man (especially wealthy men on behalf of corporations) can do anything to affect other people in any negative way.

    Nuh uh, global warming isn’t real, it’s just a scientist conspiracy! Also that town whose water supply was dumped into by LexCorp were giant mutants before the dumping or because of their smoking habit or it’s just a coincidence or because of some other pollutant, Gulf coast seafood is perfectly healthy and not at all poisoned by the “out of sight, out of mind” “clean-up” chemicals, and respiratory diseases, increased onset of migraines, or lowered immune systems? Don’t make me laugh with those made-up and totally not our fault problems.

    As long as the people are just the backdrop and couldn’t possibly be affected by the cost-cutting maneuvers, then corporations are perfect moral beings as one would expect in a functional Calvinist utopia where earthly wealth and reward corresponds perfectly with deserving moral character.

    Basically, they want the right to demonstrate their moral character and when on the spot to “okay, do it, right now”, they need to invent a fictional reality so their lazy entitled actions can at all seem “moral”.

  195. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:53

    “…the impulse that had guys in Soviet Russia waiting in lines for bread…I

    You’ve triggered a Christmas memory for me. I spent my last bit of leave, before I came back to the States and out-processed, seeing Berlin and Paris. In East Berlin, I bought presents for my family. It was striking to me how happy and healthy the East Germans looked (even happier and healthier than the Bavarians (and they were like an elven race, or something in those small villages). I was stopped a lot by Germans (Western, I’m presuming) asking me for directions. Maybe because I was wearing a uniform and I always look like I know where I’m going? But, the point I wanted to make was that the shopkeepers would happily take any currency but their own. That’s kinda sad.

  196. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    December 3, 2011 at 21:55

    …that town whose water supply was dumped into by LexCorp were giant mutants before the dumping or because of their smoking habit or it’s just a coincidence or because of some other pollutant, Gulf coast seafood is perfectly healthy and not at all poisoned by the “out of sight, out of mind” “clean-up” chemicals, and respiratory diseases, increased onset of migraines, or lowered immune systems…

    On the surface, it appears that they’re just a bunch of particularly stupid fucking morons.

  197. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:00

    Substance’s Sandusky mango:

    “I miss coaching,” he said. “I miss Second Mile. I miss Second Mile kids. I miss interrelationships with all kinds of people. I miss my own grandkids. I miss, I mean you know I’m going to miss my dog. So, I mean, yeah, I miss, yeah. Good grief.

    Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with you, Substance, that list definitely sounds like a list of his victims, so yeah, that lame attempt at a Checkers Defense just ends up sounding like “I raped my own dog”.

    wiley-

    Hence why they are trying to choke the last drops of life from the word “socialist”, but time is going to remove the power of that one to trigger flashbacks is going to die off pretty damn soon, if it hasn’t already.

    El Manq-

    Or this.

    Honestly, though I don’t mind much, except for one douchebag a long time ago who misread my name as Cerebus and then thought I was a hypocrite for liking Dave Sim (I do not) and claiming to be a feminist. Not one of history’s great thinkers, that man.

  198. Cerberus said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:08

    wiley-

    We’re the real fascists and poopyheads for thinking that Conservatives are stupid! Can’t we just judge them on their act…

    Can’t we just judge them on how awesome their delusions make them feel?

  199. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:12

    In a truly free capitalist society people should be allowed to fuck their dogs!

  200. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:13

    Fuck you very welcome, WP.

  201. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:23

    It’s all good fun until somebody’s dog gets raped.

  202. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:29

    Can you train a dog to keep fucking the chicken?

  203. Major Kong said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:36

    In a truly free capitalist society people should be allowed to pimp their dogs out for money.

    What business does the government have interfering with a legal contract between two consenting adults – and a golden retriever?

  204. gocart mozart said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:36

    C’mon, he was just roughhousing with him in the shower.

  205. Rule 34 said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:40

    No training needed…

  206. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:44

    C’mon, he was just roughhousing with him in the shower.

    There’s nothing wrong with roughhousing with golden retrievers in the shower. I do it all the time. But I’ve said too much…

  207. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:46

    Herminator’s out of it.

  208. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:46

    Just don’t let Jerry be alone with the ottoman.

  209. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:47

    Herminator’s out of it.

    He’s gonna spend more time with this mistresses family.

  210. N__B said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:48

    Cain’s dropping out to spend more time with your wife.

  211. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:51

    It is okay to legislate against sex and lust and abortion because the Bible tells us that these are morally wrong. The Bible’s stance on greed and usury is much clearer, but Jonah is arguing that there is a moral case for greed and usury. I just love cut and paste Christianity.

    Well, they have to try to make the greed and usury ok because if you’re going to do it, you really can’t confine it to an Interstate rest stop or a motel on Airline Highway.

  212. vacuumslayer said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:51

    Cain’s dropping out to spend more time with your wife.

    How did you know about her?!!!!!

  213. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 3, 2011 at 22:55

    RIP Herman Cain bid. He’s leaving because he’s “hurt” by all these “false” allegations. What a useless tool. What a clown.

    Why are black conservatives such thundering mediocracies or worse? When has there ever been one who was in any way respectable or worthwhile? From Alan Keyes to Clarence Thomas to Thomas Sowell or worse, you can’t find one in the bunch who isn’t a total asshole. Why is that, I wonder?

  214. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:00

    Also, too:

    Greed and usury of the sort to be glorified by Teh Loededhosen are behaviors of the wealthy.

    Not like sex, lust, etc. which it seems just anybody can get in on.

    If only the elite had genitalia, Doughbob and his ilk would be extolling the moral superiority of public fornication.

  215. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:04

    Is Cain going to go back to making shitty pizzas? Is that what you want?

    HAPPY NOW, LIBRULS???

  216. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:05

    you can’t find one in the bunch who isn’t a total asshole. Why is that, I wonder?

    they’re just trying to fit in.

  217. owlbear1 said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:09

    so apparently if I own a business I am free to empty my trashcans on j-load’s front lawn? Works for me!

    You’ll have to scream, “Invisible Hand, yah baaby!” when you do so but otherwise knock yourself out.

  218. Spearhafoc, who is posting from a new tablet thingy said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:13

    Gotta catch ‘em all!

  219. the conspiratist said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:29

    Jonah, if we follow along that path and we think about it just little bit more we come to realize that any corporationperson that interferes with my “profits” opens themselves up to civil rights lawsuits.

    Think? Just a little bit?

  220. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:32

    From Alan Keyes to Clarence Thomas to Thomas Sowell or worse, you can’t find one in the bunch who isn’t a total asshole.

    I dunno, you could say Colin Powell was at least a complicated asshole.

  221. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:53

    He’s a complicated asshole
    And no-one loves his gashole
    but his woman

  222. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:54

    I dunno, you could say Colin Powell was at least a complicated asshole.

    His WMD presentation to teh UN? Total asshole.

  223. Quaker in a Basement said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:55

    Why are black conservatives such thundering mediocracies or worse? When has there ever been one who was in any way respectable or worthwhile?

    What’s race got to do with it? Drop the word “black” and the logic holds just fine.

  224. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:55

    He’s a complicated asshole
    And no-one loves his gashole
    but his woman

    You have to pronounce that last word in LA metal style: “wo-mah”

  225. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 3, 2011 at 23:59

    Also, how can HermanCain quit a Presidential campaign when it never rose to the level of a campaign?

    It was a book tour/ Republican retcon effort to erase some of the racist stigma of the Tea Party.

  226. Stock Women for Herman Cain said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:04

    LEAVE HERMAN CAIN ALONE!!!!

  227. Stock Women for Herman Cain said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:04

    Stock Women for Herman Cain HATE WordPress!

  228. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:10

    LEAVE HERMAN CAIN ALONE!!!!

    Let the white man lead them.

  229. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:11

    What’s race got to do with it? Drop the word “black” and the logic holds just fine.

    Once you drop the black, you’ll never get him back.

    Anyone know what the over/under is for Mrs. Cain to file divorce papers?

  230. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:25

    Ok, I admit those two lines were mildly tasteless, but kill the thread-worthy? I think not.

    Perhaps WordPress has gone Galt.

  231. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:32

    There’s no such thing as snuffing out a thread with tastelessness.

  232. owlbear1 said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:33

    It certainly sounds like Mrs. Cain really doesn’t mind when Herman is gone.

  233. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:54

    who would, Owlbear?

    I mean, besides Jon Stewart and Colbert. THEY’RE going to miss him when he’s gone, they’ll have to write material now.

  234. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:55

    There’s no such thing as snuffing out a thread with tastelessness.

    This reads as a challenge.

  235. actor212 said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:55

    There’s nothing wrong with roughhousing with golden retrievers in the shower. I do it all the time. But I’ve said too much…

    You mean “ruff housing,” don’t you?

    So long as they are not golden showers…

  236. actor212 said,

    December 4, 2011 at 0:57

    Anyone know what the over/under is for Mrs. Cain to file divorce papers?

    There will be the typical “stand by your man,” period lasting just until Cain signs a multi-million dollar contract with FOX, at which point she hires the shark lawyer and Gloria Allred to be the public face of her divorce team.

  237. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:00

    “You mean “ruff housing,” don’t you?”

    That sounds dirty.

  238. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:00

    “This reads as a challenge.”

    Please do not encourage me.

  239. GOP Presidential campaign that giveth as it taketh away said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:04

    “The selection of a reality television personality to host a presidential debate that voters nationwide will be watching is beneath the office of the Presidency and flies in the face of that office’s history and dignity,”

    Mr. Clown Car replies:
    As I said in the past and will reiterate again, Ron Paul has a zero chance of winning either the nomination or the Presidency … Few people take Ron Paul seriously and many of his views and presentations make him a clown-like candidate.

    Stewart and Colbert are the luckiest motherfuckers on the planet…

  240. Smut Clyde said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:12

    There’s no such thing as snuffing out a thread with tastelessness.

    Mythbusters episode!!

  241. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:26

    I would totally watch that. With goggles and a hardhat.

  242. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:32

    With goggles and a hardhat.

    That’s….pretty hot.

    Maybe not Shirley Jones hot, but pretty good.

  243. vacuumslayertse said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:35

    YOU DIDN’T LET ME FINISH!!!

    …galoshes!

  244. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:40

    Well, they fit in with the rubber sex suit.

  245. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:40

    Now I am thinking about Shirley Jones in a rubber sex suit.

    IBIMB.

  246. Jennifer said,

    December 4, 2011 at 1:48

    Cain announced he’s suspending his campaign to “spend more time” with his bottle of Courvoisier. He concluded his remarks with a poem he wrote himself.

  247. Jennifer said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:12

    I didn’t mean to kill it, honestly.

  248. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:14

    You know, the fact that Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock are big stars—and Garrett Morris and Tim Meadows aren’t—is a great example of Mencken’s Law in action.

  249. Stock Women for Herman Cain said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:16

    Erm, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock are actually both really funny and talented, though they haven’t made a good movie in years.

    David Alan Grier should be a big star, though.

  250. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:17

    Sorry, that was me, being contrary and testy.

  251. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:17

    Although I’m sure the Stock Women of Cain are also Eddie Murphy fans.

  252. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:21

    It got a larf at A-man’s place, so I’ll share.

    My first impression of today’s Cain event: It was like being invited to a big-ass party, and everyone’s drinking, celebrating, having a good time. The host gives a rousing toast, and ends with, “Oh, and we put our dog Muffy to sleep, this morning.”
    .

  253. Jennifer said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:27

    Hey, I even brought the BUTTSECKS with that link. Must just be a slow night around these parts.

  254. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:43

    Was David Alan Grier on SNL? I finally quit watching a while back, after sticking with them through thick and thin for 30 years—just a generational thing, I guess.

    And yes, DAG doesn’t get the recognition he deserves.

  255. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:44

    Those little terriers are bastards, huh> (“Not the cheese, the KEYS.) Not “Go fuck a chicken.” I said, “Why don’t you listen?”

    Hmm. A dog fucks a cat in pet porno that has better music than human porno and none of those stupid attempts at “plot”. Interesting that animals have better pornos, but was that rape? We’d have to ask the cat, and the cat wouldn’t have any idea what the fuck we were taking about (as usual). The dog would only hear his name and would surely take the fifth in court. I’ve heard cats fucking cats, and always after I stop laughing at the catterwauler, I thank human nature that men don’t have a dick barbed like a fishhook that we women can’t get away from or we’d have to kill most of them. On reflection, as a cat, I’d rather be fucked by a dog than a male cat. Anyway, I’m just not getting a “rape” vibe here.

    If that tortoise could knock that shoe up with twins, someone might end up with a much better looking pair of shoes.

    The cat masturbating? Can’t go there. That’s just too much for me. It’s pretty fucking sad, really, with dogs fucking cats, dogs fucking chickens, and turtles fucking shoes, this pathetic cat is masturbating. Must be a Republican.

  256. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:45

    While we’re at it, I really liked Ellen Cleghorne, but I’ve never seen her anywhere else. (Tracy Morgan I can take or leave.)

  257. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 4, 2011 at 2:50

    “The selection of a reality television personality to host a presidential debate that voters nationwide will be watching

    Assumes facts not in evidence.

    Seriously. After the forty-thousandth primary “debate” does anyone but the rawest of the base give these preenfests any creedence whatsoever?

  258. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 4, 2011 at 3:11

    HA! HA! HA! Misogynistic wedding cakes are funny! See, all women are looking to trap men into marriage…and no man anywhere ever ever wanted to get married. GET IT?

  259. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    December 4, 2011 at 3:13

    Seriously, though, they’re going through not-Romneys like Kleenex in a strip joint men’s room. If n00t (as they pronounce it) can’t get there, who’s next? And if Willard gets the nomination, will the crazy bible-thumpers vote for a Mormon? Being a Catholic lost Al Smith the election pretty decisively, and then 36 years later John Kennedy just barely squeaked by. I don’t know if the mouth-breathers are ready for a guy that ten years ago they probably thought had horns in the White House.

    I don’t know which to hope for. If they nominate a blank spot in the middle of the TV screen like Mittens and lose big, you know the “base” will be screaming that they didn’t go crazy enough, and they’ll be forced to nominate an absolute lunatic to run against whoever the Democrat is in 2016. I’m afraid if they go the nuthouse route this time, they’ll nominate somebody who could actually win against somebody new in 2016. On the other hand it would make 2012 very entertaining, and maybe make 2016 a little less frightening…thoughts, anybody?

  260. address my envelope, lips! said,

    December 4, 2011 at 3:58

    Argh. Cerberus – sorry I misspelled your name! I got it right in my blogroll, if that’s any consolation.

    And I hate Dave Sim, so that’s extra fail on my part for getting it wrong.

  261. Interrobang said,

    December 4, 2011 at 4:35

    Sure enough, I get on this thread late because I was out at the local hellporium trying to find some new clothes, and click on Vacuumslayer’s link, because people dressed weird are always good for a laff…

    …and what do I run into? A picture of a dude wearing glasses, a beard, a bunch of tattoos, high-heeled strappy pumps, and a pair of gold spandex bike shorts, which wouldn’t be so bad, except that he bears a striking and disturbing resemblance to my (very Orthodox Jewish) boss. Yike.

    Thank you, intarwebs. That’s the second boss of mine you’ve done that with. (The first was the years-ago CEO of the company I was working for at the time, who has an evil twin who likes to dress up as fat Spiderman, in body paint. The words “pendulous blue testicles” should never arise in a work context. Ever.)

    Never mind getting out of the boat to look for rotting mangoes, I should just know better than to ever click any of the linkies around here…

  262. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:04

    interrobang!

    I miss you!
    .

  263. KWillow said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:06

    Well, dang! Or as Dad used to say “Blast my Ass!”

    Word Press ate my comment. I think. Huh.

    I was just asking for input and funny quips as to: WHY are conservatards so obsessive about “annoying Liberals”. Is it a well-deserved inferiority complex? Lack of sense of humor that substitutes annoying/upsetting others for a feeling of amusement?

    Or what?

  264. Chris said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:23

    To Cerberus from way back up there –

    Yeah, it may be a more impactful moral choice when you decide to do something because of your own guilt, empathy, and kindness, but it turns out life isn’t some meaningless backdrop to a morality play and the poor kinda need to survive whether or not Mr. Scrooge has his Christmas Day change of heart.

    Thank you for that. Wasn’t quite sure how to nail down their sick outlook on poverty and their own obligations in respect to it: “backdrop to a morality play” covers it perfectly. What’s important is whether Scrooge has his change of heart: if he doesn’t, well, it’s regrettable. He’s an asshole. He’ll be punished in heaven. Oh, what’s that, and a bunch of people will end up dead? Well, they were just supporting characters anyway.

  265. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:27

    Or as Dad used to say “Blast my Ass!”

    Must resist,,, must, not, fall, to, temptation,,, I CAN’T HELP MYSELF!

    Your father’s ass has gotten repeated blasting
    For aggressive un-lubed bum-sex, he is always casting,
    Looking for cocks to fill him up, he cries moar, Moar, MOAR!
    But he’s a model of puritanity, next to your mom teh whore.

  266. Chris said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:32

    Why are black conservatives such thundering mediocracies or worse? When has there ever been one who was in any way respectable or worthwhile?

    Well, think about the lack of self-respect it takes for a black man not only to vote Republican but to hold himself up to the entire nation as a Republican icon (perfectly exemplified by Herman Cain cowering, equivocating and apologizing that he took offense at the word “nigger” at Perry’s hunting camp).

    Yeah, in some ways black conservatives are no different from regular conservative voters, idiots and dupes cheering for those who screw them, but that idiocy still soars to new heights on those rare occasions when it comes from minority voters. At least Republican elites pretend to like and respect white voters. Black voters get nothing but a long stream of abuse from the party as it blames them for everything from crime rates to the economic crisis. If they end up duped (and indeed, over 90% of them don’t), they don’t even have a lame excuse.

  267. Chris said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:35

    Erm, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock are actually both really funny and talented, though they haven’t made a good movie in years.

    Saw “Tower Heist” the other night, I thought that one was pretty enjoyable.

  268. Chris said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:36

    Seriously, though, they’re going through not-Romneys like Kleenex in a strip joint men’s room. If n00t (as they pronounce it) can’t get there, who’s next?

    Santorum, I think… and then that’s it, because not only will the primaries begin to actually set things in stone, but I think they’re clean out of Not Romneys. (Neither Huntsman nor Ron Paul are qualified).

  269. Major Kong said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:46

    The only thing more convoluted than black Republicans are gay Republicans.

  270. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:47

    I’m guessing that despite their hatred of enviro-hippi-bullshit, they’ll recycle. Prick Erry is only out because teh guy is so not ready for prime time. But give n00t his couple weeks, and then teh War on Christmas break, that leaves enough time for him to whip himself. Into shape, that is. A renewed and reinvigorated Perry campaign in teh nu year might just work. It’ll be distant enough that most GOPpers will have forgotted his EPIC debate flails. I wonder who’s in charge of this episode of Pig-malion.

  271. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:53

    Saw “Tower Heist” the other night, I thought that one was pretty enjoyable.

    Jesus Christ. ZERO LAUGHS. The most interesting thing about it was that it seemed to be directed and edited with an eye towards destroying any potential comedic interaction between its players. It was as if Ratner and whoever helped saw someone getting amusing and tried to make sure the cut came before they started rolling.

  272. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 4, 2011 at 5:59

    Also too, not qualified? Wot does that even mean? Remember that we’ve just witnessed teh flame out of pizza man’s campaign. That teh frist Not-Romney was One-L.

  273. bbkf said,

    December 4, 2011 at 6:18

    ha, ha…now i have my sister hooked on ‘storage wars’ too…misery loves company, eh?

    i am, however, imagining the weeping and gnashing of teeth that is coming from the ‘women for cain’ women…god’s will has been thwarted once again, damn it…

  274. Chris said,

    December 4, 2011 at 6:29

    Jesus Christ. ZERO LAUGHS. The most interesting thing about it was that it seemed to be directed and edited with an eye towards destroying any potential comedic interaction between its players. It was as if Ratner and whoever helped saw someone getting amusing and tried to make sure the cut came before they started rolling.

    Ouch brah.

    I liked it, and I wasn’t even drunk. Or high. Or forcing myself to like it/pretend to like it for the sake of a girl.

    Granted, my taste in movies includes Wild Wild West and excludes Gone With The Wind, so take my movie endorsements with that in mind.

  275. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 4, 2011 at 6:37

    I liked it, and I wasn’t even drunk. Or high. Or forcing myself to like it/pretend to like it for the sake of a girl.

    I went in not knowing I had paid for a Brett Ratner movie, and then it all made sense. There were elements that could have been good, and most of the people in it did as well as they were allowed to do, but holy shit that guy does not know what funny is. Some comedy would nearly manifest and the cut would come and my companion and I would look at each other with the same WTF expression.

  276. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 4, 2011 at 6:41

    Gone With teh Wind is a fucking bullshit movie. Four hours. It’s almost as long as Ran and has no decapitations. I’m sorry but if I wanted to sit through an entire evening of interminable fambly shit, I’d just invite them over for dinner.

  277. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 4, 2011 at 6:44

    Sweet IPU, Ran’s only two and a half hours long?! Maybe it’s me, but that Kurosawa d00d needs halp with pacing.

  278. Anonymous said,

    December 4, 2011 at 7:20

    Try watching Yojimbo, DKW.

  279. I Like Ike said,

    December 4, 2011 at 7:34

    http://jacksonville.com/news/2011-12-03/story/small-private-plane-engine-trouble-lands-i-295-no-injuries-reported

    Thanks, D.D.E.!

  280. bbkf said,

    December 4, 2011 at 7:35

    Gone With teh Wind is a fucking bullshit movie.

    YOU ARE DEAD TO ME NOW….

  281. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 4, 2011 at 7:44

    Sorry, but it’s troo. Four hours. During teh fricking Civil War. Most important event in it all is that they let a four year old jump horses. Would be totes ignorable snoozefest if it weren’t for all teh racism.

  282. bbkf said,

    December 4, 2011 at 8:08

    come on!!! nobody schemes like scarlett! and that what it’s really all about…civil war…slavery…pfffft…the important thing was SCARLETT…i just love old movies though…i will sit through lots of twaddle just for one gorgeous scene or well delivered line or particular camera angle…but once again, i admit, i am a huge dork…

  283. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 4, 2011 at 8:37

    The words “pendulous blue testicles” should never arise in a work context. Ever.

    I’m trying to think of a context where the phrase would be welcome, and thankfully coming up blank.

    Even the “failed senior dating scenario” is a horrific enough visual.

    brrrrrrr

  284. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 4, 2011 at 8:56

    Santorum, I think… and then that’s it, because not only will the primaries begin to actually set things in stone, but I think they’re clean out of Not Romneys. (Neither Huntsman nor Ron Paul are qualified).

    I’ve sort of been waiting for his turn at the tiller. Wow. That’s going to be a train wreck to keep an eye on.

    Oddly, he might be (Huntsman and Paul aside) the least obviously corrupt-to-the-gills one up there. He’s not Presidential Timber by a long shot. Hell, he’s barely Republican primary kindling, but Santorum’s stains are of a different humor, shall we say.

    As soon as the Liberal Media stops being able to loudly ignore that Newt Gingrich is, in fact, Newt Gingrich, they’re pretty well going to have to give Teh Frothy One the spotlight at least for a little while. Then we oughtta see some Blue Ribbon Crazy showing its ass.

  285. Smut Clyde said,

    December 4, 2011 at 9:59

    The words “pendulous blue testicles” should never arise in a work context.

    I think the Avatar Body-Mod discussion is happening at VS’ website.

  286. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 4, 2011 at 11:15

    Okay, so I thought that this was fairly amusing,

    Real PACs take their names from satirical PAC-name generator

    followed through the generator to a list of superPACs. I noticed something a bit odd regarding the sixty different pacs registered on 11/7/11 with names like State Farm Insurance Customers Super PAC and United States Department Of Education Employees Super PAC. I took a look, fully expecting to see some sort of Kochbagging ratfuckery going on. It seems the same name is on all sixty. Hmmmm.

    Google name. Read some articles. Giggle madly.

    Oh, Florida. Will you ever stop entertaining us?

  287. Chinese Egg Roll Super PAC said,

    December 4, 2011 at 13:58

    You want soup with that?

  288. Suezboo said,

    December 4, 2011 at 14:20

    Very Rev :
    You speak as though “they” had a choice. Once Murdoch and Kochs have finished auditioning all those sad sacks, they will be informed whom to vote for and that will be it. All of this – debates and speculation and scandals – is just argle-bargle to give the Village idiots something to feed on.
    Good Luck, USAians.

  289. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 4, 2011 at 14:45

    Gone With teh Wind is a fucking bullshit movie.

    What…did you…say?

    I love GWTW. The character of Scarlett is so interesting to me because at times she’s just straight-up unlikeable. But in the end you have to root for her. The scamp.

  290. vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,

    December 4, 2011 at 15:09

    So that’s what that is? Tough Love.

  291. actor212 said,

    December 4, 2011 at 15:33

    Gone With teh Wind is a fucking bullshit movie.

    And here I thought it was just me who felt this.

    Sure, it’s all pretty and romantic, but in the end, Scarlett is still just a “hold me” woman who grew a little but can’t wrap her head around the fact her side lost. It’s this self-reinforcing bullshit that created the fucking Teabaggers and if I had my way, every copy of the book would be destroyed, and replaced by “The Wind Done Gone,” which at least has the accuracy of the period.

  292. actor212 said,

    December 4, 2011 at 15:36

    While we’re at it, I really liked Ellen Cleghorne, but I’ve never seen her anywhere else.

    Didn’t she die of cancer?

  293. actor212 said,

    December 4, 2011 at 15:37

    The words “pendulous blue testicles” should never arise in a work context.

    I’m so naming my Gentle Giant cover band that.

  294. Tintin said,

    December 4, 2011 at 16:06

    New thread!

  295. The Dark Avenger said,

    December 4, 2011 at 16:09

    You’re probably thinking of Danitra Vance, who did die of cancer. Ms. Cleghorne is still alive and well, to quote Stewie from FG: “Have they found a suitable vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne yet?”

  296. Dennis said,

    December 6, 2011 at 3:06

    to quote Stewie from FG: “Have they found a suitable vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne yet?”

    Don’t you mean, ‘to quote Wikipedia quoting Stewie from FG’?

    Nice work, DA. Invaluable service you provide.

  297. actor212 said,

    December 6, 2011 at 17:39

    And what service do you provide, you coward?

    We already have a sewer so you can close your mouth

  298. Dennis said,

    December 7, 2011 at 3:58

    You forgot to measure twice, actor.

  299. actor212 said,

    December 7, 2011 at 12:39

    In your case, you’d lose your magnifying glass.

  300. actor212 said,

    December 7, 2011 at 12:39

    Oh…and Dennis?

    WIN!

    This is getting too easy…

  301. The Dark Avenger said,

    December 7, 2011 at 19:11

    You believe Stewie is a real person, Dennis?

    Who knew?

  302. Casual Dating said,

    March 28, 2013 at 23:23

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