Delusion of the Day
ABOVE: Dan “Baby J-Dough Loadberg” Foster
I haven’t engaged in my trademark “looks-ist” disparagement for quite a while but, honestly, this from Dan Foster at America’s Shittiest Website™ is just impossible to resist:
[L]adies, if I haven’t responded to your fifteenth eHarmony message, I’m probably not going to respond at all. There are only so many days in the week.
The notion that anyone, much less a “lady” with “lady” parts, would be importuning Dan with a barrage of desperate emails pleading for the opportunity to meet up is only slightly less credible than were I to claim that I had flat out refused a booty call from Chord Overstreet.
Hey, Danno, here’s a polite suggestion. If there is a one woman in the world, and that includes K-Lo or even J-Dough Loadberg in a dress, that expresses even faint interest in connecting with you, please understand that this may be your only opportunity to couple with something other than the crusty gym sock that you have been, er, filling behind the furnace in the basement while your parents are asleep upstairs. Or to translate this into the wingnut dialect of Freemarket-ese that you might understand: “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers.” Or to put it in plain English: “Dude, look in a mirror.”
You had me at Chord Overstreet
Fifteenth?
The guy is that big a dooshbag that he won’t reply to his sister’s pity-message, if only to let her of fthe hook?
E-Harmony: feel the
failHEAT.that’s a really good photoshop…
So many women, so few days. Sigh. It’s hard out here for a pimp.
If he has women writing it just goes to prove descriptive audio for the blind has a LONG way to go to be truly helpful.
The 2 comments posted over there so far:
…resisting…urge to troll…at eHarmony…
He probably thinks he’s stud of the walk because he’s scored from some of the desperate Filipino women looking for Christian husbands.
donna diorio has some serious problems…
…resisting…urge to troll…at eHarmony…
don’t fight it sub…
Additionally: if I was equipped with a set of ladyparts, I’m pretty sure I’d feel a dry cold ugly wind dessicating them if I had that greasy leering git scoping me out.
Whats nice about the photo of DF is that it requires absolutely no (and would actually suffer from) photoshopping.
Also, no more new thread updates on the twitter?
Also, he decides to drop this bomb on the legions of poor women who are just all up in his jock to get a chunk of PENIS offa Dan the Ladykilla Pimp on his National Review blog?
Let me guess, Dan. Having 14″ penis is also a terrible burden as well?
i’ve already had enuff of the baby j-dough pic…every time i refresh my screen i can hear him saying, ‘yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhh…’
and then a dry cold ugly wind dessicates my ladyparts…
That dude’s chin is big enough for Newt’s balls to slap.
I don’t even have any ladyparts, but I’m still feeling that dry cold ugly wind.
tsam, that was an image I could have done without. Now I have to find the brain bleach and the wire brush…
That dude’s chin is big enough for Newt’s balls to slap.
dude, it’s bad enough that i came back from vaca to find a surber post, but that is a visual that i DID NOT NEED!!!
oh, my poor ladyparts…
If I were going to troll a singles site, it would prolly be this one
Well, I guess this is somewhat on topic
http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/idiot-wind
Having 14? penis is also a terrible burden as well?
Well since I’d have to fold it in hal–
Um, I mean, how would he know?
“Let me guess, Dan. Having 14? penis is also a terrible burden as well?”
It’s hard on his lower back.
If I were going to troll a singles site, it would prolly be this one
eHarmony is, for all intents and purposes, Christian Mingle
If I were going to troll a singles site, it would prolly be this one
right? i LOVE their commercials on teh teevee…’sometimes god wants you to take the next step…’ like god is all, ‘yeah! quit fucking praying and expecting ME to do all the work? why the fuck do you think i invented teh internets?!? geez!’
If I were going to troll a singles site, it would prolly be this one
HA!
Interests:
Goats and snakes
Harry Potter
Shopping and getting clothing advice from my bestie Adam
I’m not going to lie: I’m too ugly to join in on this one. Sure, ol’ Danny is a moron, but I will not be the pot calling the kettle black in terms of how he looks.
then there are the assholes of frightening proportions dating sites
“right? i LOVE their commercials on teh teevee…’sometimes god wants you to take the next step…’ like god is all, ‘yeah! quit fucking praying and expecting ME to do all the work? why the fuck do you think i invented teh internets?!? geez!’”
I know, plus it’s yet another way in which they kinda make god sound like s perv..like god waits around for you to mack on people.
@mmy;
As soon as you have a political blog you use to brag about not having the time to respond to the numerous advances of all the fine bitchez on eHarmony, then you can recuse yourself from the discussion.
hmm a link containing the words “assholes of frightening proportions”.
think I’ll not click that one.
I’m not going to lie: I’m too ugly to join in on this one. Sure, ol’ Danny is a moron, but I will not be the pot calling the kettle black in terms of how he looks.
i don’t think it’s a matter of ugly on the outside, but all the way around ugly…and the fact that he’s thinking he’s got the ladies just panting after him…any lady will tell you that is a MAJOR TURNOFF…on a scale of 1-10, i would give him a 4, lookswise, but a -1 personalitywise…
like god waits around for you to mack on people.
he doesn’t? hmmm…that’s not how hubbkf got me in the sack…now i’m confused…
Hey, I once “won” a date with Todd Seavey…but somehow “forgot” to collect my “prize”….
It’s not that kind of goatse, I promise.
then there are the assholes of frightening proportions dating sites
whoa…that is a royalfuckingshitton of conceit right there…
like god waits around for you to mack on people.
he doesn’t? hmmm…that’s not how hubbkf got me in the sack…now i’m confused…
Don’t be. I was paid very handsomely by hubbkf
OT, I love Barney Frank. His take on the GOP House: ““It consists half of people who think like Michele Bachmann and half of people who are afraid of losing a primary to people who think like Michele Bachmann”
I’m not going to lie: I’m too ugly to join in on this one. Sure, ol’ Danny is a moron, but I will not be the pot calling the kettle black in terms of how he looks.
also, i like to think that you got your nym because all the ladies are like, ‘mmmmmmmy! aren’t you a cutie?!?!’
don’t burst my bubble…
Hey, I once “won” a date with Todd Seavey…but somehow “forgot” to collect my “prize”….
Just think: you could have had your sex life tattled all over C-SPAN!
then there are the assholes of frightening proportions dating sites
SLOW DOWN!
*jotting down URL*
The weird thing about the “beautiful people” sites is that I think you can be assured that 99.99% percent of the people on it are just horrible horrible horrible people…so why would you bother?
I’m not sure I understand. He’s getting eHarmony messages because he’s on eHarmony. And I suppose he’s paying to be on eHarmony because he’s looking for help from an online matchmaking service. The messages he’s getting are from the ladies that eHarmony has matched to him based on their algorithim of twelve thousand dimensions of compatability and their overarching mission to maintain racial purity. d00d, IOW them’s teh ladies eHarmony thinks you should be dating.
PROTIP for Dan Foster – teh Gay Dating service is still accessed at a different URI.
Oh, gawd… That’s not a parody site? SRSLY???
I woulda ‘shopped him on a “Knocked Up” poster, but my skills are lacking…
i don’t think it’s a matter of ugly on the outside, but all the way around ugly
Yea, I mean, even if I– with my thick skin and humongous ego– posted something like that, I’d expect to have my lunch taken by a snark blog.
The weird thing about the “beautiful people” sites is that I think you can be assured that 99.99% percent of the people on it are just horrible horrible horrible people…so why would you bother?
also, when i clicked on the link, all the chicks looked prettymuch the same…so yeah, horrible personality combined with stepford looks? if all the beautiful people look the same, then how are they beautiful?
Oh, gawd… That’s not a parody site? SRSLY???
as the saying goes, sadly, no!
The weird thing about the “beautiful people” sites is that I think you can be assured that 99.99% percent of the people on it are just horrible horrible horrible people…so why would you bother?
I can come up with about a hundred reasons off the top of my head, starting with “can I piss my ex off any worse?”
If god WAS a perv, I would feel more comfortable with hir…
“Chord Overstreet?” That’s a name? Did he go to acting school with Dash Riprock and Bolt Upright?
“Chord Overstreet?” That’s a name? Did he go to acting school with Dash Riprock and Bolt Upright?
that makes me laff…anyhoo, i remember when they were talking about chord overstreet joing glee and i thought it was a girl…i have fallen so far away from my gleekiness that i was only disabused from that notion when i clicked the link…
also, when i clicked on the link, all the chicks looked prettymuch the same…so yeah, horrible personality combined with stepford looks? if all the beautiful people look the same, then how are they beautiful?
Lemme guess…pretty young, pretty skinny and a fair amount of fake boobs. Also, I’m guessing lotsa make-up, too. Well, if that’s what you’re into, goddess bless.
god needs a rubber sex suit.
“Chord Overstreet?” That’s a name? Did he go to acting school with Dash Riprock and Bolt Upright?
Could be worse. He could have taken the name “Nuwanda” like his friend Charlie Dalton
not long ago, one of my on-air cohorts was showing me the dismal options she had in this area through the online dating service she was using…one of the guys thought that it would garner him the ladies if he used the phrase, ‘i love the sex’ frequently in his profile…he also admitted to being a pot smoker and that he was a personal care attendant…the person he cared for happened to be his mother…of course we pored over the pictures he had submitted and i deduced that he lived right down the street from the station and that he was part of the notoriously welfare scamming baker clan*…
he was dumb enough to provide his employer’s name and what city they are located in…i am soooo tempted to contact this company and casually ask what their drug policy is…anyone who uses the phrase ‘the sex’ really needs to be busted…
*the entire family busting out the lawn chairs and coolers to sit in the shade in their front yard is what i consider to be the first sign of spring in these parts…i also coined the term, ‘the bakers are so lazy, they can’t even work on a tan*.’
*this is probably by no means an original, but it makes people i know laff…
I seriously shouldn’t go off on people’s names, since my real first name is very unusual and my last name is in all probability unique (now)—but you gotta admit that was low-hanging fruit.
I know I’m impressed! Where might I find this winner at life?
since my real first name is very unusual and my last name is in all probability unique (now)—
do tell…
Oh, gawd… That’s not a parody site? SRSLY???
as the saying goes, sadly, no!
Maybe not a joke by those signing up, but I can’t imagine whoever put that up was actually serious. Prime breeding age?
The guy is that big a dooshbag that he won’t repl
Word is he replies to ALL messages at the other dating site he uses. That’s just what I’ve heard.
Great, now fascist WP doesn’ t want me making dick jokes. At least not “too quickly.”
And yeah, I’ve never considered women that I would have trouble picking out of a police lineup attractive. I really need some kind of facial features.
also, i like to think that you got your nym because all the ladies are like, ‘mmmmmmmy! aren’t you a cutie?!?!’
don’t burst my bubble…
Sadly, no.
So no untermenschen allowed on the beautiful persons dating site?
Now where have I heard that sort of thing before? Hmmmmmmm
Only partially off-topic—is Bill Schockley’s Nobelist sperm bank still in operation? Maybe Danny boy should look into that.
since my real first name is very unusual and my last name is in all probability unique (now)—
okay, now i’m trying to think of the name in a movie where the ex-wife makes the ex-husband go by a name that was superfunny…i think it had ‘tits’ or ‘nipple’ in it…this is going to drive me crazy…
Sadly, no.
well, i’m just going to keep thinking that anyway…
Nothing that funny…they’re just really, really, really Norwegian.
Nothing that funny…they’re just really, really, really Norwegian.
hubbkf works with a dude who named his boys who are now 20somethings ‘nels’ and ‘lars’…i also toyed with naming our son ‘otto’ after one of hubbkf’s great grands…this was before i realized the coolness of family names and went all trendy…
I’m not pretty enough to be criticizing the looks of others either, but you won’t hear me feigning annoyance that I have so many women trying to contact me that I can’t even respond to them.
Nothing that funny…they’re just really, really, really Norwegian.
Cousin Kalle???
There probably is someone for everyone. The dude above is probably one email away from landing a beautiful wealthy heiress who really digs smarmy bearded white guys with entitlement issues.
And tsam totally does, I bet, though he’s too modest to say so.
I suspect that the only lady who has left him 15 unanswered messages is “Peggy” from customer service.
If I had had a son, I would’ve named him Otto, but it would have been after the main character in Repo Man.
There are women who write love letters to serial rapists/murderers on death row. This man should so not flatter himself, no matter how busy he imagines himself to be.
I know the neckbeard and the Blue’s Clues polo are making me tingle!
I hope this begins a long tradition of S,N love matches.
There probably is someone for everyone. The dude above is probably one email away from landing a beautiful wealthy heiress who really digs smarmy bearded white guys with entitlement issues.
Claudia Schiffer was David Copperfield’s girlfriend for years, even engaged to him at one point.
Truth is stranger than fact.
This reminds of Hannidate. Is it still around? I can’t be arsed to go look.
Now, now…even Al Bundy had a shoe groupie or two come into his store. Lightning can strike anywhere.
I am simply way too busy to sign up for E-harmony and answer the 258 questions.
Al Bundy is my spirit guide.
Known whiney bitch Sam Bareback PWNED X INFINITY + 1
By a teenager, no less.
Mint green horizontal stripes–where can I get this awesome polo shirt? Didn’t the lipid-endowed Foster get the memo about horizontal stripes?
White fat guy with a face-mullet trolling for heterosexual women on e-dating sites? Dime-a-dozen is a serious understatement in this case. I thought that was everyone (“women” included) on the mainstream dating sites.
Since we’re being looks-ist.
I suspect that the only lady who has left him 15 unanswered messages is “Peggy” from customer service.
HA!! Awesome
FTFY.
Nothing that funny…they’re just really, really, really Norwegian.
well, unless your name is SJURD or SNORRE uber-norwegian names aren’t that bad…and if one of those IS your name, i’m sorry for the hell that was elementary school…
It’s really just one.
Didn’t the lipid-endowed Foster get the memo about horizontal stripes?
Perhaps the special lipid bag store didn’t have much else for selection. He could get solid black or the maternity front in stripes. Comfort over style, I guess.
OK, here’s a good popculch quiz question. There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school. There was also a fat guy that looked like me, but didn’t have my name…
There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school
i did not know ‘screech’ was a norwegian name!
Ladies love Dan.
The dude above is probably one email away from landing a beautiful wealthy heiress who really digs smarmy bearded white guys with entitlement issues.
Oh damn. Evelyn Lauder *just* died. Too bad…
I actually LOLed. For realzies!
I suspect that the only lady who has left him 15 unanswered messages is “Peggy” from customer service.
I do believe this qualifies you as TODAY’S STAR PRIZE WINNER!
There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school. There was also a fat guy that looked like me, but didn’t have my name…
“Epstein” is Norwegian????
Claudia Schiffer was David Copperfield’s girlfriend for years, even engaged to him at one point.
Hey, after the cosmetic surgery, the Copps was pretty cute.
I was always put off by Claudia’s buck teeth. I guess no one saw past the boobies?
OK, now between Welcome Back, Kotter and Whatever-the-hell-it-was that Screech was in, chronologically…
I was always put off by Claudia’s buck teeth. I guess no one saw past the boobies?
She had boobs?
Who looked past her eyes?
If I were going to troll a singles site, it would prolly be this one
I am not besotted with “Christian minge” as a name or as a concept.
you guess correctly
There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school. There was also a fat guy that looked like me, but didn’t have my name…
drake and josh?
I know I’m impressed! Where might I find this winner at life?
The lawn, next to the cooler.
rofl! Thank you, British “Office”, for letting me get that joke.
OK, now between Welcome Back, Kotter and Whatever-the-hell-it-was that Screech was in, chronologically…
TOOTIE?????
There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school. There was also a fat guy that looked like me, but didn’t have my name…
head of the class
Nothing that funny…they’re just really, really, really Norwegian.
Also there is nothing funny about Scandiwegian surnames.
There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school. There was also a fat guy that looked like me, but didn’t have my name…
head of the class
No Scandahoovian names.
Here’s an untapped market: Christian porn.
Ding-ding-ding!
Scandiwegian surnames.
i believe the correct term is ‘scandihoovian’
also: I know I’m impressed! Where might I find this winner at life?
The lawn, next to the cooler.
this really made me laff…
I am not besotted with “Christian minge” as a name or as a concept.
as did this…
i missed a lot googling ‘high school sitcoms’
Ding-ding-ding!
hi arvid!
Ding-ding-ding!
Damn! And that was my first guess, too!
Here’s an untapped market: Christian porn.
that would indeed be ‘untapped’…
i missed a lot googling ‘high school sitcoms’
“teen sitcoms” works faster. Not that I googled, mind you.
We have a Wiener!
And my last name is one of those Nynorsk things made up from whole cloth…now that my Dad’s dead and Nynorsk is extinct I assume it’s unique.
I felt bad for Agathe Mymotherisawhoresson.
also, i know at least 4 arvids…one of whom is a few years younger than me…he has a brother named orlyn…
Here’s an untapped market: Christian porn
Not as untapped as you might think
you know, Rule 34, and all
“teen sitcoms” works faster. Not that I googled, mind you.
while you may google faster than i, my experience was more satisfying…
Also there is nothing funny about Scandiwegian surnames.
Haardraada is pretty hilarious (yeah, I know it’s a moniker, but work with me).
So is Skallagrimsson.
What transsexuals require is a guy with a big handlebar moustache to minister to them.
I dated a six foot seven Dutch soldier/fireman named Hans de Grot who had long, flowing brown hair, and green eyes he accentuated with green eye shadow. The Dutch military was miles ahead of us, and probably still is. He said his name means “Henry the Great,” but that it’s essentially the “John Smith” of the Netherlands. I also have an old platonic friend with the name Aklilu Gebrewold, which is like “John Smith” in Ethiopia.
Hell, who knows, there may someone from a distant planet with a name like heggenhazzleblozzlesnort that is as common a name as John Smith is in the U.S.
while you may google faster than i, my experience was more satisfying…
yes, but I got back to my beer and ballgame faster.
I am confused by the continuing unpopularity of Anglo-Saxon names. I suggested all of the following to my brother as names for the boy he and his wife are expecting:
Alfred
Aethelred
Aethelstan
Aethelbert
Cuthbert
Yorick
Yothrick
none of them really had what he was looking for in a name I suppose.
Notice how quickly I got bored with Dan’s “problem?” That’s not coincidental.
My father’s name really is John Smith.
I knew a Russian once named Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov.
yes, but I got back to my beer and ballgame faster.
wow, your work environment sounds a lot more fun than mine…
I suggested all of the following to my brother as names for the boy he and his wife are expecting
You missed Yrre
wow, your work environment sounds a lot more fun than mine…
My old job as condom tester was mch more interesting. I couldn’t keep up with the work.
I knew a Russian once named Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov.
i live in the land of danielsons…my fave name being daniel danielson…go, original parents!
Stupid tagfail.
Here’s an untapped market: Christian porn
Not as untapped as you might think
you know, Rule 34, and all
No kidding. Try Googling “nun” without the safeties (not at work, dammit!)
How much rotgut whiskey do you think the woman [citation needed] that has “eHarmony messaged” Danny 15 times [citation needed] had consumed?
I mean sheesh, those beer goggles must be more like a welding mask.
Related: I’ll be here on Saturday. You may now proceed to be jealous.
DF and MY switched at birth? You decide.
http://thinkprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/YglesiasMatt.jpg
My great uncle Axel had a date tell him “Axel is an impossible name. What’s your middle name I’ll call you that.”
“Yurtrik, with a picter (sp?) over the u.”
“I’ll call you Axel”
Oh, and for what it’s worth—the first European child born in North America wasn’t Virginia Dare, it was Snorri Thorfinsson
i live in the land of danielsons…my fave name being daniel danielson…go, original parents!
I’ve always enjoyed the old forms. Iceland still uses this. It’s so much fun to meet a man named “Gud Gudson” and make fun of his name.
“Yurtrik, with a picter (sp?) over the u.”
But it’s pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove”
Axel is a fine name. Also suggested to and rejected by my brother.
Claudia Schiffer was David Copperfield’s girlfriend for years, even engaged to him at one point.
Copperfield at least seems intelligent and interesting, Mr dry cold ugly wind above has less charisma than the pet rock my sister got me for Christmas one year. Though I supposed he’d hold papers down a little better, as it was a pretty small rock.
At least Pyotr Petrovich Petrov has the stress-change thing going for it.
Now you folks stop that!
Axe, could have been worse: you could have been Yogi Yorgesson
Axel is an impossible name.
Well, if he ain’t playing lead guitar or leading squadron during the war, it’s hard to find the cool. I mean, “Axel Stone, Accountant” just doesn’t have the same swagger.
“I yust go nuts at Christmas!”
Or Eddie Murphy as “Axel Foley”—Part was written for Stallone, it turns out….
I mean, “Axel Stone, Accountant” just doesn’t have the same swagger.
Mild-mannered paperboy Axel Stone.
Accountant is going to suck the cool out of any name. Try this on for size: Axel Stone, Insurance claims adjuster. Now doesn’t that make you get at least a little breathless?
Axel Grease would be cruel.
I still feel sorry for that poor guy who I know is out there, somewhere: Warren Peace.
“I yust go nuts at Christmas!”
shut up! i just heard that one on the radio the other day…
Geez, how can I get a name like “Chord Overstreet”?
Or Eddie Murphy as “Axel Foley”—Part was written for Stallone, it turns out….
it’s coming around to audie murphy again, isn’t it…
My parents have that on vinyl. Now that their record player is fixed, I assume I will be hearing it again this Christmas.
One of my favorites on that list of weird names culled from newspapers was “Dewey Sweat.” (Attorney-at-Law, if that makes a difference.)
I am confused by the continuing unpopularity of Anglo-Saxon names.
Modified, they are popular among Latinos. I went to college with a guy named Elbert. I know a bunch of guys with names like Rigoberto, Gilberto, and Arnulfo. I don’t know if these are throwbacks to the Visigothic kingdom in Spain, or if they were the result of a “Venerable Bede” craze in Latin America, but all of the people I know with uber-waspy names are Latinos.
okay, now i’m trying to think of the name in a movie where the ex-wife makes the ex-husband go by a name that was superfunny…i think it had ‘tits’ or ‘nipple’ in it…this is going to drive me crazy…
WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?!?!?
I like the sound of bottle conditioned methuselahs and salmanazars. That’s fun pouring.
Modified, they are popular among Latinos.
a couple of years ago i was telemarketed by a clearly indian dude who told me his name was albert albertson…
I thought all Skandinoovians were named Erik.
My parents have that on vinyl. Now that their record player is fixed, I assume I will be hearing it again this Christmas.
would you like me to send you some booze?
the guy who had my cell phone# before me was named Guillermo. I considered taking it out of jealousy, but decided to stay with my own common-as-dirt name.
Try this on for size: Axel Stone, Insurance claims adjuster
Axel Stone, special education bus driver
Tittus Androgynicous.
Axel Stone, Amateur clog dancer.
Axel Stone, Amateur clog dancer
Axel Stone, Forensic Waiter
She was a very important part of my puberty. The years (or rather, the surgeon’s knife) have not been kind to her.
Isn’t there something in the Bible about maternal impression, or something?
Bob Griese could have named his son Axel, instead of Brian, which would have been cool, if traumatic. The kid would probably still be a lousy quarterback, though.
I know, right? What the Hell happened there?
175 comments already? This post just went up, people…save some for the rest of us!
~
Helmet+glasses=awesome.
Lester or Leslie Griese would work.
Axel Grease would be cruel.
I still feel sorry for that poor guy who I know is out there, somewhere: Warren Peace.
I used to know a Reid Toomey.
According to this, there are 1,154 people named “Michael Hunt” in the United States.
I knew a guy whose last name was Hamburger, and whose girlfriend, Patti, actually refused to marry him for that reason. True story.
Hey, you know what’s a really funny fake name?
Roger Hedgecock
How man Cocks would a Hedgecock Cock if a Hedgecock could Cock Cock?
dammit. That’s “how manY”.
Off subject but it’s gonna be a rough night at work.
They’re calling for light snow in Memphis right around the time we’ll be trying to launch all the outbound flights (2-4am).
Light snow doesn’t sound like much, but if we have to deice the whole fleet it turns into a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
We dropped 25 degrees F in an hour this afternoon and it’s cold rain a’comin’ down now. I could see troublesome snow in the north Delta.
I once heard a man musing over the name of a drug he had just been prescribed— “Desipramine. What a lovely name. Desipramine. If I had a daughter, I’d name her “Desipramine.”
Sounds like a hypo-manic episode to me.
I prefer something more dignified, like the names of cartoon characters. If I had a daughter (and wouldn’t that be a post-menopausal miracle?) I’d name her “Cruella.” If I had a miracle son, I’d name him “Kronk.”
Looked OK at sunrise though.
In Dick Cavett’s autobiography, he mentions once knowing a woman named Edna Pickton, who married a man named Appleoff.
And so her name became Edna Pickton Appleoff.
Slightly Shorter Daniel Foster:
I’LL GET HER A BRUSH-OFF
BITCHES LOVE BRUSH-OFFS
According to this, there are 1,154 people named “Michael Hunt” in the United States.
one of whom is a former greenbay packer…and grew up here…his nephew is buds with my son…that is one messed up family…
I once heard a man musing over the name of a drug he had just been prescribed— “Desipramine. What a lovely name. Desipramine. If I had a daughter, I’d name her “Desipramine.”
fun fact: the actual names of drugs (not the brand name) a lot of times are made up of the drug developers children’s names…
OK, here’s a good popculch quiz question. There actually was a guy with my first name in a sitcom set in a (high) school. There was also a fat guy that looked like me, but didn’t have my name…
I know the guy who was the basis for the Noah Tannenbaum character in The Sopranos (the lucky kid who presumably deflowered Meadow Soprano).
.
I knew a guy whose last name was Hamburger, and whose girlfriend, Patti, actually refused to marry him for that reason. True story.
my sister in law has a friend named cindi rella…that is her married name…
oh, hey…remember a week or so ago i was freaked out because there were a shit ton of cops and stuff in town the day after we got a news bulletin about a missing woman? well, here’s what’s going on…
…also last week, we had a 23 year old dude stab his girlfriend multiple times…she’s still in the hospital in sioux falls…what the hell is going on?
i believe the correct term is ‘scandihoovian’
I believe the preferred nomenclature is “Chinaman.”
.
i believe the correct term is ‘scandihoovian’
I believe the preferred nomenclature is “Chinaman.”
i CANNOT believe you made me wait all day for that!!!
They’re calling for light snow in Memphis right around the time we’ll be trying to launch all the outbound flights (2-4am).
Yes; this is going to suck. I’m in Nashville, and they’re saying we won’t get any street accumulation, but… ya never know, right?
The good news: I talked the landlord off the edge, and I have at least 30 more days, here. So nice to get evicted in winter, with only a scooter to get one’s worldly possessions elsewhere (or more likely, left behind for a dumpster). Anyone want two adorable cats?
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i CANNOT believe you made me wait all day for that!!!
I was catching up.
And, I’ve been stressing the toilet, what with the landlord issue. So, hey.
.
So, hey.
i am sad to hear that things still aren’t looking up…at least you have a little more time…can you really get evicted in the winter time? or maybe i have that confused with getting your heat and/or electricity cut off…anyhoo, there are people hiring up here if you don’t mind a change of climate…
What’s amazing about the snow is this: Saturday, I was carving up twisties (well, as much as you can on a 250cc scooter) in 71F, sunny weather. That video, if you have the seven minutes, can be fun, if you don’t usually need Dramamine.
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can you really get evicted in the winter time? or maybe i have that confused with getting your heat and/or electricity cut off…
Tennessee only requires a formal 30-day eviction notice. Given the discussion with the landlord, I think that would be unlikely until mid-to-late January, at best. I am now $6000 in arrears, but I do have an interview, tomorrow, and he’s a very nice guy (obviously!). His e-mails always sound more dire, which is what got me upset… a phone call later, and things seem better. I’ll see him after this interview, in person.
Maybe we can work it out. I mean, he’s been pretty hip to just getting the $600/month, while I still owe him $5400, so far. But with the scooter shop closing, even the $600 has been a struggle. I am eating almost nothing but ramen and spaghetti, though.
.
I do have an interview, tomorrow,
good luck!!!
I was carving up twisties
this was a gorgeous ride…what’s behind the big stone wall at about 4:00?
good luck!!!
Thanks! It’s the bullet-catcher shift at a convenience store, but I don’t need much, I swear.
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this was a gorgeous ride…what’s behind the big stone wall at about 4:00?
A modest house, with a big yard.
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Thanks! It’s the bullet-catcher shift at a convenience store, but I don’t need much, I swear.
my nephew (the one who can’t walk w/out the aid of canes) also works that shift in a con store in sioux falls…i worry to death about him since he’s been robbed a couple of times already…not at that store…it was when he was a desk clerk at a motel…
A modest house, with a big yard.
well, that’s a bit disappointing…
well, that’s a bit disappointing…
Yeah… there were some really nice houses on that ride, but I only stopped to take a photo of one of them (4th photo). And that wasn’t the most extravagant house. It just interested me, design-wise. I liked the 2nd story wrap-around porch.
The other ones with stone fences were WAY far back from the road, and I couldn’t photograph without trespassing. Country music stars, etc.
.
Good luck, J. P.
In fact, you can have all of mine—I’ve got no use for it any more.
ut I only stopped to take a photo of one of them (4th photo).
that is a pretty cool looking house…i’m always looking at houses when we’re traveling…well, except when i’m reading which is most of the time…unless we’re going somewhere new…hubbkf gets a bit annoyed because if i have to drive, i get lost going to places i’ve been a zillion times…i just don’t know how to get there because i was reading the whole time…
Yowza. you folks just keep talkin’, dontcha?
Anywho, re:Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield,
Claudia Schiffer not hawt? In teh days before intartrons pr0ns, some of us got our ideas of wot sexy womens were from late night movies with Brigitte Bardot in ’em. And since she had already slipped into animal rights terrorism dementia, possibly with a side order of islamophobia, Claudia Schiffer was there to punch our buttons.
Also, David Copperfield? Who cares what he looks like, magicians are extremely skilled at very careful manipulaions with their fingers.
My name is Yon Yonson
I live in Wisconsin
I work in a lumbermill there
re: Head of the Class,
Would you believe that the most powerful alumnus from that show wasn’t Doctor Johnny Fever or teh girl wot married Mike Tyson – but teh fat guy. d00d has gots moar pull with tween girls than all of Disney and every sparkly blood drinker evar combined.
No shit? That’s the guy I was talking about that looked like me but didn’t get stuck with my name.
I have very fond memories of the redhead, but I never saw her in anything else….
Axel Receivel?
Axel Ent?
Axel O’Evil?
I have very fond memories of the redhead, but I never saw her in anything else,,,
Casting directors had trouble spelenigs her name.
No shit? That’s the guy I was talking about that looked like me but didn’t get stuck with my name.
I have very fond memories of the redhead, but I never saw her in anything else….
indeed…i saw lots of him and his work whilst my kidlets were growing up w/nickelodeon…also, his wife is the hungry girl…
You know what W.C. Fields said about kids named Cuthbert.
You know what W.C. Fields said about kids named Cuthbert.
Fish fuck in it?
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You know what W.C. Fields said about kids named Cuthbert.
They’re absurdly hawt?
If we’re on funny names now, it seems like a fine time to post this pic what I took the other day.
Farther down the same board…
Well, there is the advantage that if you start typing it into Google Images, by the time you’ve hit “khr” she’s the third one down—Only behind Khrushchev.
Farther down the same board…
just wondering where you were…and if any phone numbers were posted…asking for a friend…
I think it’s important that kids’ names reflect where they’re from.
Which explains the bevy of Cletuses and Clovises we got in these parts.
OPEN PIMPSLAP.EXE
Up to their old tricks again …
Fields: “I never knew a Cuthbert that wasn’t a sissy”
from The Pharmacist, where Cuthbert was played by…Grady Sutton.
Of course Fields also gifted characters with names like Prettywillie (he liked that one so much he used it twice).
I’ve avoided mirrors for at least the last five years, since their answer to “Who’s the foulest one of all” might strike too close to home.
(Comment submitted without reading any of the preceding)
–Guess that should’ve been the foulest of of them all, but who’s looking?
Argh. I shall refrain from further humbling redundancies and head to coordinates of of the the bed now.
An old fav.
“I thought all Skandinoovians were named Erik.”
Nope, nothing but Knutes all the way down…
To be fair to the poor guy, he was actually joking.
He was responding to someone else on The Corner bitching about social networking requests.
And i say “poor guy” cause i just saw that photo at the top of the page.
Mirrors and fornication
GO BACK TO TLÖN if you don’t like it here!!
To be fair to the poor guy, he was actually joking.
You think so? I think there’s a notable dose of TMI alongside the self-awareness fail – though what stands out most is a cartoonish swing and a miss by failing to go down the self-deprecating route.
Unless you’re blessed a la Clooney, a “back off, ladies” joke always makes you look more douchebag than funneh.
In Soviet Russia, TLÖN comes to you!
I would have legally changed my name to Coltrane if I had a son. His first name would have been Roscoe. Next boy, Buckshot.
In Soviet Russia, TLÖN comes to you!
Only after you’ve jerked off.
What? We were discussing The Legend Of Neil, right?
I would have legally changed my name to Coltrane if I had a son. His first name would have been Roscoe. Next boy, Buckshot.
“Newcastle” would be subtler.
Peabody would work too, and more people in Appalachia would get the reference
Peabody would work too, and more people in Appalachia would get the reference
Obviously, your second son is then named John Henry
Fuck Appalachia and all those D. Ray White assholes. They can suck it.
Fuck Appalachia and all those D. Ray White assholes. They can suck it.
omg…my son loves jesco…and that was one of the most bizarre documentaries i have ever watched in my life! hey, your infant just got taken away from you…what do you do? i know! go to the nearest taco bell and order fiestas and mozzarella cheese sticks!
filed under goddammit obama woke up again today:
this
reason number 85 to not smoke: don’t wanna sound like suebob white…
Unless you’re blessed a la Clooney, a “back off, ladies” joke always makes you look more douchebag than funneh.
even if you are clooney, the ‘back off, ladies’ joke always make you look more douchebag than funneh…PROTIP: timing and the above mentioned self deprecation are vital to the funneh…
Self-deprecating humor is immensely hot. There, I said it.
Self-defacating humor is less hot.
You know what else is hot? Not spelling well.
PROTIP: timing and the above mentioned self deprecation are vital to the funneh…
Modesty prevents me…
Modesty prevents me…
does not compute…
actually i read that as modesty perverts me, which does work…
Hey you know what? Maybe we’re being too harsh on Foster. No seriously though, this whole guys are horndogs and always angling for teh humpty-hump is one of them socialization things. What if Dan Foster isn’t particularly sexual and he’s not interested in hooking up at all. I mean everyone one of us is certainly moar comfortable with that scenario for Dan than any other. Still don’t know why he’s shelling out wev eHarmony charges every month – but my opinion is that if Dan Foster doesn’t want to get together with any ladies, I am fully supportive of his decision.
Self-defacating humor is less hot.
Goatse is not hot.
Self-deprecating humor is immensely hot.
Beartse is immensely hot.
if Dan Foster doesn’t want to get together with any ladies, I am fully supportive of his decision.
as do we!
or as are we…wev…
also, not proofreading: hot
“Beartse is immensely hot.”
LOL
“all the ladies of the world said,
November 29, 2011 at 18:53
also, not proofreading: hot”
I KNOW,RIGHT?!
I KNOW,RIGHT?!
tag fails are also incredibly hot…
Self-deprecating humor is immensely hot. There, I said it.
I took the thick end of 26 years to work this out about wimmenz, but I might well be happily married today for this reason alone.
Nice to see all the ladies of the world posting at S,N! (proving that Beartse really is teh hot) Here’s a little something for the ladies.
(proving that Beartse really is teh hot)
i *just* got this…
Goddamn you to hell, Bear–I was just gonna link that.
Beartse is immensely hot.
Wait. You can be a bigger asshole?
Still don’t know why he’s shelling out wev eHarmony charges every month
For the articles.
Maybe we’re being too harsh on Foster.
also to be fair, perhaps ‘preview’ isn’t available on the nro blogging software…if he could have proofed his entry, he would have perhaps understood that:
a) much, more more self-deprecation was needed
b) if a dude is on eharmony in the first place, they then shouldn’t bitch that chicks are asking them out
c) humor is best left to those who actually have it
Oh, come on! Some women like a guy with a short forehead.
gah…preview fail in preview fail joke…self-fulfilling prophecy, etc.
“Well, then what the hell are we paying you for?”–Chris Christie, Republican Governor of New Jersey
Clearly, it’s not to eat ham and cow sandwiches, governor.
Say, didn’t the President strike a deal with Boener, and when Boener took it back to the rank and file, they killed it?
Why should the President get involved now?
DenDen? Why did the Teabaggers kill the debt deal when we could have avoided a downgrade?
DenDen?
DenDen?
Bueller?
Bueller?
Dude, you, your bald head and your three chins really shouldn’t be critiquing anyone else’s looks.
You know, you’re absolutely right.
Fortunately, I have only one chin and he’s very judgemental.
DenDen? You been coaching Syracuse basketball too?
DenDen, I’m glad to see you committed cannibalism last Thursday. Did Uncle Frank taste as good cooked as he did in the coop?
A world of peace and harmony where every woman gets a piece of me.
Why do I always end up with the monogamous ones? I’m not complaining. It’s just seems kind of weird, so I have to wonder if it’s true— that stuff about men just naturally wanting to spread their seed around and being biologically polygamous— is that just bullshit or what?
And hand’s up for the self-deprecating humor— ten points and a prize.
Oh dear. Herman Cain is about to sink his candidacy into another hole…
Playing with his putts, no doubt.
that stuff about men just naturally wanting to spread their seed around and being biologically polygamous— is that just bullshit or what?
*sipping herbal tea quietly*
A ‘do-nothing’ president. I know, right?
The problem is that we are better off with a ‘do-nothing’ president than any of our other choices. Cause when they do do something it only screws us over more.
Dammit, actor, will you just FUCK Dennis and get it over with?
The problem is that we are better off with a ‘do-nothing’ president than any of our other choices.
Hell, we had one them “do-nothings” for the first eight years of this century. We wouldn’t be so fucked if he’d have done SOMEthing.
Dammit, actor, will you just FUCK Dennis and get it over with?
Do I look like I’m on eHarmony????
Besides, a boy likes to be courted.
that stuff about men just naturally wanting to spread their seed around and being biologically polygamous— is that just bullshit or what?
Total bullshit! We really don’t care where our seed goes, just so long as it goes.
E-Harmony? C’mon…everyone knows that OkCupid, besides being free, is the site for quick hookups.
Should be in their ads: “OkCupid…home of the Go Team!”
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
ShorterActual TBogg:Actually, I think Dennis provides a valuable service. He epitomizes the low-information, dog-whistle-hearing, proud-to-be-ignorant, if Obambi’s for it I’m agin’ it, Koch-sucking, moronic teatard that votes in Republican primaries. We should study him. For science.
We should study him. For science.
Preferably via vivisection. The brain can be diced.
C’mon…everyone knows that OkCupid, besides being free, is the site for quick hookups.
Well, shit. I was using it wrong, then.
Also, I thought Plentyoffish was the one for quick hookups. With women who don’t know how to spell or use pictures taken in the last five years.
We may disagree with his tactics and even his goals, but Obama is hardly a don-nothing President.
do-nothing.
I have no idea what he dons, other than the typical conservative political suits and the occasional Hawaiian shirt.
Preferably via vivisection. The brain can be diced.
Peckish zombie is peckish. Out of Thanksgiving leftovers?
“My ability to be an advocate on the kinds of issues I most care about will be as great outside as inside.”
BARNEY FRANK HAS GONE GALT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Translation from right-wing speak:
“Do-nothing President” = “Only gives the Republicans 90% of what they want 90% of the time”.
The worry for me is, what are the Dennises of the world gonna do when Obama is re-elected. Please tell us, Dennis. Here, you have a perfect storm of opportunity to take out an incumbent president, and you will blow it because your candidates are Huey, Dewey, Louie, Moe, Larry, Curly, CurlyJoe and Shemp.
How can you insult the Stooges that way smedley?
Even though the Stooges were buffoons, they were at least inherently good.
I’m sorry. I should have said “your candidates are Mitt, Herman, Michele, Newt, Ron, Rick, the other Rick and goatse.”
* SHEMP/LEMON MERINGUE PIE 2012: Hey, You Let Us Get Away With This Shit LAST Time *
What kind of demented fuckhead tries this hard to troll someplace they’re clearly not wanted?
That’s a rhetorical question of course.
And hand’s up for the self-deprecating humor
Always with the Goatse.
Shorter version of the Republican Party:
“Half of them think like Michele Bachmann and the other half are afraid of being primaried by someone who thinks like Michele Bachmann.”
–Barney Frank
We’re gonna missa you, ya big teddy bear ya
I for one welcome our inflatable Ant-Roach robot overlords & offer them my unconditional loyalty & support.
PS: My Little MechaPony™ ISREAL.
What kind of demented fuckhead tries this hard to troll someplace they’re clearly not wanted?
Oh he gets off a good one once in a while.
What?
From Jim’s link:
inflatable robots tend to be much more compliant than their metallic brethren
This is HARDLY NEWS.
Oh he gets off a good one once in a while.
You mean fart, of course.
Neanderthal jaw and forehead, a true Paleoconservative,
Neanderthal jaw and forehead, a true Paleoconservative
Nah. More likely a Neo-conderthal.
I don’t personally know any ladies of the wingnut persuasion, but let’s just think for a moment about the implications of someone as ugly and stupid as this Daniel Foster actually being sexually appealing to wingnut ladies…
…these ladies must be a whole lot fatter, uglier, and more desperate, and have lower self-esteem than any regular ladies I ever met!
[…] Foster, that rakishly handsome Lothario over at America’s Shittiest Website™ obviously has a deep and abiding personal interest in […]