Nov
21

Gobble Gobble Akhbar!




Posted at 16:45 by Tintin

Shorter Pammicakes “Tits Boom Bah!” Geller, The American Genius
Happy Halal Thanksgiving

    • Eating a Butterball turkey this Thanksgiving will turn you into a filthy Muslim.

  • ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

    760 Comments »

    1. Major Kong said,

      November 21, 2011 at 16:46

      Mmmmmm, still has that new thread smell.

    2. Oblio's Cap said,

      November 21, 2011 at 16:53

      In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.

      Why, it’s almost as bad as being forced to read Pammy musings about things that she has no understanding of.

      The horror!

      We demand to be allowed to consume meat that is slaughtered by whatever torturous method we desire.

    3. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 16:56

      Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

      It’s interesting: when Butterball came out with its Kosher turkey (essentially the same fucking thing), no one batted an eye.

    4. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 16:58

      Hey, Pammy? That panda you’re eating…it’s halal.

      Also, finger Ling-Ling good!

    5. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

      November 21, 2011 at 16:59

      ARE YOU SAYING THAT GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE ARE THE SAME AS DISGUSTING FILTHY MOSLEMEN ACTOR BECAUSE IF YOU ARE

    6. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:03

      GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE ARE THE SAME AS DISGUSTING FILTHY MOSLEMEN

      If the hajib fits…

    7. Major Kong said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:04

      Torturous Islamic Slaughter would be a good band name.

    8. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:07

      HOW DARE YOU EQUATE THE TRAGIC AND PERFECT JEWISH PEOPLE WITH MOHAMMEDIAN SLIME YOU NAZI DEATH CAMP BUILDING HERP A DERP DERP WEINERSCHNITZEL

    9. Scott said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:12

      But if Pammy becomes a Muslim, she will want to go bomb people and kill everyone who doesn’t agree with her and — okay, not really that much different from normal, I guess…

    10. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:14

      YOU NAZI DEATH CAMP BUILDING HERP A DERP DERP WEINERSCHNITZEL

      This might be one of the best parody trolls I’ve seen, Bozo. Nicely played!

      *golf clap*

      Martini?

    11. Mark D said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:17

      Herp A Derp Derp Weinerschnitzel would also be a great polka band name …

    12. Ginormous said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:20

      Is that a halal butterball baby panda?

    13. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:21

      Herp A Derp Derp Weinerschnitzel would also be a great polka band name …

      Jah! Dey cood sing der “Who shtole der Keshka”

    14. FGFM said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:36

      Not to pick on the Jews, but Kosher beef slaughter doesn’t look all that pleasant in its own right. The standard modern method of a steel bolt through the brain doesn’t sound all that great, either.

      http://www.loc.gov/pictures/resource/cph.3c13948/

    15. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:36

      Too early in teh thread to go OT? LEAFS SUCK has their official decision regarding Occupy Toronto’s eviction from St. James Park. They are to pack their tents and get out ASAP. The ruling is quite interesting, it holds that the encampment does in fact constitute political speech, but that the Charter rights of the protestors is not important compared to local residents right to enjoy a park. Seriously – the encampment must be disassembled because political protest is inconvenient for locals.

      It’s pretty ridiculous on its face. To justify the position, Judge Brown actually resorts to the slippery slope argument – OMG, what if a zillion protest groups suddenly started monopolizing all public space! OMG!

      I want to be clear on this – a judge has decided that Toronto’s parks by-law trumps freedom of expression and freedom of peaceful assembly. That is his actual interpretation of the issue.

      Anyways, Occupy Toronto has stated that they aren’t going anywhere, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens next.

    16. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:40

      They’ll call out the mounties. The RCMP will pull out the big guns. Occupy Toronto will be powerless in the face of a polite request to move along.

    17. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:41

      Go YYZ, eh!

      But now I want a hot turkey sandwich with extra gravy.

    18. boconn13 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:44

      “Is that a halal butterball baby panda?”
      Why yes, yes it is. And I thought the tribe only ate Chinese at Christmas?

    19. paleotectonics said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:47

      I prefer halal weinerschnitzel to kosher weinerschnitzel.

    20. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:51

      In other culinary news: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFDgSKbapzY

    21. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:52

      Is that a halal butterball baby panda?

      … or are ya just glad to see me?
      .

    22. Chyron HR said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:53

      PETA welcomes the GOP’s endorsement.

    23. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:54

      Where are the PETA clowns and the ridiculous celebs who pose naked on giant billboards for PETA and “animal rights”? They would rather see people die of cancer or AIDS than see animals used in drug testing, but torturous and painful Islamic slaughter is OK.

      Well, it’s not as great as cancer or AIDS, but it’s alright. The thing is, we can get celebrities to pose naked, just not the ones that you’d want.

    24. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:57

      Seriously – the encampment must be disassembled because political protest is inconvenient for locals.

      So the new World has gone from “DON’T TREAD ON ME!” to “DON’T INCONVENIENCE ME!”

      (also, “DON’T TAZE ME, BRO!” Too. Also. And.)

    25. tigris said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:58

      we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.

      Pammy thinks her meat animals commit suicide. Actually, if they know their destiny they just might.

      Obligatory

    26. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:58

      “Is that a halal butterball baby panda?”
      Why yes, yes it is. And I thought the tribe only ate Chinese at Christmas?

      Her last name is Geller, so she’s one of the Twelve. Whichever was the most psychotic tribe, I’m sure.

    27. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:59

      They’ll call out the mounties. The RCMP will pull out the big guns. Occupy Toronto will be powerless in the face of a polite request to move along.

      It sounds like a job for the O.P.P.!

    28. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 17:59

      Where are the PETA clowns and the ridiculous celebs who pose naked on giant billboards for PETA and “animal rights”? They would rather see people die of cancer or AIDS than see animals used in drug testing, but torturous and painful Islamic slaughter is OK.

      So I’m guessing Pammycakes never bothered to teh Google before spewing her shit…

    29. tigris said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:00

      Where are the PETA clowns and the ridiculous celebs who pose naked on giant billboards for PETA and “animal rights”?

      Yeah, because they’re notoriously silent about killing animals for food.

    30. paleotectonics said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:00

      May I submit for your approval (‘cept for the resident culinary fool PMax, who may hit me)…

      Thanksgiving Dinner Not Safe For Any Religion

    31. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:01

      Occupy Toronto will be powerless in the face of a polite request to move along.

      That may be true, but what is Teh Man going to do when teh protestors form a line to take tents down one-by-one in a nice and orderly fashion? They could stall teh eviction for weeks!

    32. EnfantTerrible said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:03

      So in Pammy’s world, Hispanic immigrant workers at Hormel’s rendering plant in Austin, Minnesota are yelling “Allahu Akbar” as they slaughter turkeys. Wouldn’t the locals notice?

    33. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:04

      In case Pammy’s really curious about PeTA’s recent activities…

    34. paleotectonics said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:07

      WordPress has fucked me again. The series is available at your nearest adult reading establishment or Redtube.

      Thanksgiving dinner not safe for any religion:

      Work, stupid WP

    35. EnfantTerrible said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:07

      One more thing…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j1N3G37_SQ

    36. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:08

      Hispanic immigrant workers at Hormel’s rendering plant in Austin, Minnesota are yelling “Allahu Akbar” as they slaughter turkeys.

      They cover it with loud tapes of “Uff Dah!”

    37. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:09

      I didn’t get off teh boat, but here’s PETA’s 2011 Thanksgiving campaign.

    38. paleotectonics said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:09

      Goddammit!!

      WordPress has fucked me again. The series is available at your nearest adult reading establishment or Redtube.

      Thanksgiving dinner not safe for any religion:

      Work, stupid WP

    39. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:11

      Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while saying “Bismillah allahu akbar” — in the name of Allah the greatest.

      That is unconscionable. I will tolerate many things from religion, but plagiarism is where I draw the line.

      Shechita is the ritual slaughter of mammals and birds according to Jewish dietary laws. The act is performed by severing the trachea, oesophagus, carotid arteries and jugular veins using an extremely sharp blade (“chalef”), and allowing the blood to drain out.

    40. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:11

      Although in fairness, there’s some really really really small print on the ad that says that Halal turkeys are okay.

    41. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:14

      In case Pammy’s really curious about PeTA’s recent activities…

      Sorry PETA, they’re actually boxing Ken Garoo. Y’know, I’d always wondered what the G stood for.

    42. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:21

      Using the phone this a. m. so I wll ask if anyone has linked the relevant Palin vid. Not that I doubt any of you.

    43. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:23

      Pups, just for you

    44. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:23

      Is Pamela a J_w? Is that why she spells God “G-_-d? Can she not understand that “Allah” means “God” or G-_-d? Is that too hard?

      How does a person get stupid and petty enough to say the following:

      Now here is yet more poisonous fruit of that scandal.

      Meat is fruit?

      A citizen activist and reader of my website AtlasShrugs.com wrote to Butterball, one of the most popular producers of Thanksgiving turkeys in the United States, asking them if their turkeys were halal. Wendy Howze, a Butterball Consumer Response Representative, responded: “Our whole turkeys are certified halal.”

      I highly recommend that all these wingnut morons restrict their diets so that they eat absolutely nothing that is halal, which will leave them with a diet of bacon and alcohol, and spare us too much more of their incessant tantrum.

      In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.

      However “tortuous” it is to cut a cow’s throat— I’m assuming that the non-halal methods don’t involve giving cows Demerol and a blow job before killing them— how is anyone being “forced” into consuming Islamically slaughtered meat?

      I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend how these people get out of bed in the morning and dress themselves without being overcome by outrage that forces them back into their bed with a box of wine and a handful of valium to keep themselves from going mad.

    45. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:25

      I’m assuming that the non-halal methods don’t involve giving cows Demerol and a blow job before killing them

      OK, I need to wrap my mind around the procedure for giving a cow a blow job.

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    46. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:26

      actor212, PETA – Prepare for Enfant Terrible’s Ahem.

    47. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:28

      OMG! It’s worse than you imagined!

      We have met the requirements for the following certifications: USDA Approved, Russian Approved, Halal Certified,,,

      OMG! ISLAMO-COMMUNISM! OMG!

    48. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:29

      I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend how these people get out of bed in the morning and dress themselves without being overcome by outrage that forces them back into their bed with a box of wine and a handful of valium to keep themselves from going mad.

      perhaps they think of Ann Outhouse and recognize that doing that doesn’t prvent going mad.

    49. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:29

      actor212, PETA – Prepare for Enfant Terrible’s Ahem.

      *I* chose the authorized Countdown w? KO version, not the underground “lamestream media” version.

      *sheepish grin*

      Wellllll….

    50. Mat said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:30

      It’s time for the Occupy Pammie’s Bra movement to get started.

    51. smedley said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:31

      “OK, I need to wrap my mind around the procedure for giving a cow a blow job.”

      What? Those aren’t penises on that udder?

    52. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:31

      We have met the requirements for the following certifications: USDA Approved, Russian Approved, Halal Certified

      Vladi Putin boxed it to death?

    53. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:31

      It’s time for the Occupy Pammie’s Bra movement to get started.

      I’m allergic to silicone.

    54. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:36

      Russian Approved

      That one’s important because the ones that Russia doesn’t approve of may have polonium.

    55. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:37

      I’m allergic to silicone.

      Ahh, that would explain your obsession with potatoes.

    56. tigris said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:37

      actor212, PETA – Prepare for Enfant Terrible’s Ahem.

      Jesus, it’s like I’m not even here. Well if I’m invisible can we turn up the heat? Because I am totally shedding these clothes.

    57. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:38

      So Pammy thinks that there SHOULD be restrictions placed on a free market enterprise?

    58. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:42

      Because I am totally shedding these clothes.

      *sipping herbal tea quietly*

    59. DAS said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:47

      It’s interesting: when Butterball came out with its Kosher turkey (essentially the same fucking thing), no one batted an eye.

      Nope. It’s quite different. In Jewish ritual slaughter, the invocation needs only to be made once per slaughtering session whereas dhabihah requires an invocation to be made before each slaughter: although meat slaughtered according to the kosher laws is still considered halal by most Muslim authorities. On the other hand, other than the issue of how often to make an invocation, koshruth is generally stricter than what is required for halal, so most Jews would not accept dhabiha meat as kosher.

      That being said, it seems that, yet again, Pammycakes is merely recycling anti-Semitic rants (I went off the boat — those mangos look like standard issue anti-Semitism with new labels put on) about the evil kosher-tax, etc., by changing every mention of “Jews” to “Muslims” and “Kosher” to “Halal”. I can’t wait for Pammycakes to write a book called “Protocols of the Elders of Palestine” or some such or to rant about how Muslims use the blood of Jewish, Christian, Sikh and Hindu girls to bake flatbread for Iftar.

    60. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:48

      Nope. It’s quite different. In Jewish ritual slaughter, the invocation needs only to be made once per slaughtering session whereas dhabihah requires an invocation to be made before each slaughter

      So she’s objecting to chanting.

    61. paleotectonics said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:52

      OK, I need to wrap my mind around the procedure for giving a cow a blow job.

      I’ll be in my bunk.

      Jesus H Lactose Intolerance, trumpeting your bovisexual urges to the world is not helping your campaign to coach college football.!

    62. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 18:57

      Jesus H Lactose Intolerance, trumpeting your bovisexual urges to the world is not helping your campaign to coach college football.!

      I would whey in on this, but I’m not sure I curd.

    63. N__B said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:02

      Now I want a panda burger.

      CURSE YOU TINTIN!

    64. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:02

      Eh. It’s kinda creepy but it’s still more than a few steps up the ladder from Jerry Sandusky. However, I will not hire actor for any career where the care of bovines is involved.

    65. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:04

      Cow well hung

    66. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:09

      Now I want a panda burger.

      I’m thinking more of a bird wrapped in a bird wrapped in a bird wrapped in a pig wrapped in a panda. YUM!

    67. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:11

      OT – UC Davis pepper spray cop tribute.

    68. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:12

      However, I will not hire actor for any career where the care of bovines is involved.

      What if I show a little calf?

    69. R. Porrofatto said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:13

      In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.
      Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while saying “Bismillah allahu akbar” — in the name of Allah the greatest.

      The only difference between this and Kashrut slaughter is the recital of the prayer. Of course, for Mad Pam that’s the torturous part.

      Me, I prefer my turkeys crucified.

    70. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:14

      OT – UC Davis pepper spray cop tribute.

      The Guernica one was pretty good. So was The Accolade.

    71. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:15

      Finally, the one I hoped was parodied

    72. Willy said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:15

      I wouldn’t knowingly buy a halal turkey — would you? Halal turkey, slaughtered according to the rules of Islamic law, is just the opposite of what Thanksgiving represents: freedom and inclusiveness, neither of which are allowed for under that same Islamic law.

      So…..what’s the method us Christian Turkey slaughterers use? We slice their throats and bleed them out, just like halal.

      So the only difference is we Murkins don’t mumble “bismillah allahu akhbar” over the dying bird. Those gotta be some filthy, filthy words.

    73. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:18

      I’m thinking more of a bird wrapped in a bird wrapped in a bird wrapped in a pig wrapped in a panda. YUM!

      Turduckhenporkda?

      Sounds delicious.

      I’m not much of a turkey fan (it wasn’t as big in the UK when I was but a wee lass), but Pammy makes me want to buy several hundred of them and send them to her. Raw. By the slowest shipping means possible.

    74. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:21

      I DEMAND MY MEAT TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN THE NAME OF CTHULHU!

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

    75. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:21

      I’m not much of a turkey fan (it wasn’t as big in the UK when I was but a wee lass), but Pammy makes me want to buy several hundred of them and send them to her. Raw. By the slowest shipping means possible.

      My vote is for frozen and flung at her front door, but that’s just me.

    76. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:25

      As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly.

    77. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:26

      Wait… don’t buy halal turkey because Thanksgiving represents inclusiveness? Wouldn’t doing that be the um, opposite?

      A better argument would be that Thanksgiving represents racism, entitlement, religious intolerance, and genocide. In that case, sure, pressuring companies not to produce halal meats just to stick it to Muslims is a fine take on an old tradition.

    78. Willy said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:26

      I DEMAND MY MEAT TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN THE NAME OF CTHULHU!

      They do at the plant where they make McRibs.

    79. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:28

      So the only difference is we Murkins don’t mumble “bismillah allahu akhbar” over the dying bird. Those gotta be some filthy, filthy words.

      Good Christians don’t chant “praise be to God” until after the bird is cooked and on the dinner table.

    80. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:29

      My vote is for frozen and flung at her front door,,,

      Turkey-pult?
      Gobblelista?
      Poultrebuchet?

    81. Pere Ubu said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:33

      WTF is up with wingnuts?

      First they’re all 53% “WE GLAD WE PAY TAXES!” and now they’re all “WONT SOMEONE THINK OF ANIMALS!”

      They’re gonna start sticking flowers in people’s guns any day now.

    82. tigris said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:33

      I DEMAND MY MEAT TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN THE NAME OF CTHULHU!

      They do at the plant where they make McRibs.

      McRibs are made of shoggoth. TRUFAX.

    83. Pere Ubu said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:33

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Pammycakes R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

    84. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:34

      Good Christians don’t chant “praise be to God” until after the bird is cooked and on the dinner table.

      Some of us wait until the relatives leave.

    85. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:35

      My vote is for frozen and flung at her front door,,,

      Turkey-pult?
      Gobblelista?
      Poultrebuchet?

      Giblet chunkin’

    86. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:39

      McRibs are made of shoggoth. TRUFAX.

      Actually, it’s made out of shoes

    87. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:40

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Pammycakes R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

      What does Mr. Pammycakes say while munching Pammy’s carpet?

      I’ll take Thing I Never Wanted To Know for $800, Alex.

    88. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:43

      McRibs are made of shoggoth. TRUFAX.

      Two Deep One patties, “special” sauce, Nyarlothep manifest as cheese, Pickled Old Ones on Yuggothian fungi.

    89. Pere Ubu said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:43

      What does Mr. Pammycakes say while munching Pammy’s carpet?

      Are her lady-parts kosher?

      Can’t be eatin’ ‘em if they’re not.

    90. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:46

      I blame teh madness for my inability to spele Nyarlathotep. Question, has anyone done a Nyarlathotep Cat yet?

    91. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:57

      She has the Innsmouth look.

    92. jim said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:09

      Ooh!

      Looks to me like Pam “I’ve got Bette Davis’ Eyes, In A Little Jar Under The Bed” Gellar is getting sliced up in the comments like …

      *takes off sunglasses*
      *still has a second pair of sunglasses on*

      … a well-broiled pope’s nose.

      ? YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ?

      Sorry but we already had Thanksgiving up here, eh?

    93. Mike Czech said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:13

      @JPBarlow: Pepper Spray soon to be declared a vegetable.

    94. Spaghetti Lee said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:23

      That’s Geller (and the rest of the right-wing clown car) for you: Can’t enjoy their holidays unless they stop someone else from enjoying theirs.

    95. Jennifer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:24

      Ehhh…correct me if I’m wrong…but…aren’t the slaughter practices for both halal and kosher exactly the same, except in one case it’s a mullah saying a prayer while the animal’s throat is cut, and in the other it’s a rabbi? So pray tell, how is it MOAR “torturous” for the animal having its throat cut because the words are in Arabic rather than Hebrew? Does the Arabic make it hurt worse or something?

      And isn’t Pammy a Jew?

    96. Jennifer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:26

      Also, too: maybe the solution here is to waterboard the turkeys before they get their throats cut, because as Pammy can tell you, waterboarding ain’t torture…

    97. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:32

      Silly Jennifer, the Jews are the Chosen People. Therefore, when the words are spoken in Hebrew, God steps in and makes sure that the bird does not suffer. If the words are spoken in heathen Arabic, then God steps in to wreak his vengeance on the evil bird which dies in terrible agony. Then there is a whole scale of “heathenness” that God regards all other languages, with English coming in just below Hebrew and Klingon rating just above Arabic.

    98. Marion in Savannah said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:34

      I actually got out of the boat to look at the comments. From my superficial perusal I can only assume that the only comment taters thus far are all Sadly Naughts, since they’re all raking her over the coals.

    99. N__B said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:40

      raking her over the coals.

      Open-pit barbecue Pammy…DO NOT WANT.

    100. Christina said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:42

      She’ll bash Muslims and then invoke “freedom and inclusiveness”? Sure…

    101. Jennifer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:45

      I think my own artistic contribution to the UC Davis pepper-spraying incident will be my new book, A Child’s Garden of Police Brutality.

    102. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:45

      Okay! Some people just don’t like Cattlecar Galacticow, and I’m jiggy with that!
      .

    103. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:48

      You people are tempting me to get out of the boat, but there’s no way Pammy’s mangoes* are worth it.

      Religious nutcases are fucking hilarious — a family “friend” is a fairly recent nutso evangelical convert. He was preparing a ribeye roast for a big family meal and was using Kosher salt as part of a rub preparation. I jokingly poked at him that I hoped he knew that was Jewish salt (and yeah, I know it’s not “kosher” that way — it’s used in “koshering meat”, bear with me) and then pointed out the star of David on the package. He was horrified. it was hilarious.

      But then this is the same guy that told me last time I saw him that he was really looking forward to his upcoming road trip through “Yo. Sem. Ight.” as he hadn’t heard of it before, but it sounded like quite the park.

      I said — “you mean Yo. Sem. It. Ee?” — Him: blank questioning stare… “No, I’ve heard of that place. This one is Yo. Sem. Ight.” — me: “…Ok, have fun…”

      *VODFNDGTR

      (Veiled Oh Dear FSM, No! Don’t Go There! reference)

    104. tigris said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:48

      Open-pit barbecue Pammy…DO NOT WANT.

      Interestingly enough, she’s halal.

      A Child’s Garden of Police Brutality.

      AWESOME.

    105. 59 Les Paul, Union Thug said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:57

      VERY late to thread– had to peruse record collection….
      Yep, already got it:
      Sensational Alex Harvey Band
      Slaughter
      Tangerine Dream
      Talking Heads
      Torturous Islamic Slaughter
      Traffic…

    106. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 21, 2011 at 20:59

      I DEMAND MY MEAT TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN THE NAME OF CTHULHU!

      No problem. I picked up a fresh crate of kittens this morning.

    107. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:03

      The Ho just shared a comment with me but did not provide attribution. I must share anyway, even though it properly belongs in a previous, shopworn thread. “Newt Gingrich is what a stupid person’s idea of a smart person.”

    108. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:07

      Paul Krugman said it. I love that shrill bastard.

    109. Marion in Savannah said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:08

      OOOOH, Pupienus, that’s full of win!

    110. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:09

      “Newt Gingrich is what a stupid person’s idea of a smart person.”

      Funnier with grammar fail.

      The true face of Newt Gingrich.

    111. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:11

      Quoth the Krug:

      Greg Sargent sends us to Paul Ryan’s latest — an attempt to debunk the CBO report on income inequality. As usual, Ryan makes me think of Ezra Klein’s old line about Dick Armey: he’s a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.

    112. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:13

      No problem. I picked up a fresh crate of kittens this morning.

      My sister recently adopted a kitten from a shelter. She had already picked it out while its litter was being fostered by her friend. But apparently there was some problem with the tags, so her only identifying information was that it was the fattest of its siblings.

      It takes a lot of courage to walk into an animal shelter and request “your plumpest kitten, please.” This is especially true when you have identifiably Asian features and your lips are chapped, so that you are constantly licking at them.

    113. Teh Patriarch Abraham said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:14

      YOW!
      She who lives in a glass non sequitur shouldn’t throw hissy-fits.

      You feelin’ me, girl?

    114. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:17

      “your plumpest kitten, please…

      …and do you know if the local market carries plum sauce?”

    115. Mark D said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:20

      In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.
      Pammykins

      Listen, if that Butterball (which I got this weekend at Costco for $.99 a lb.!!) is going taste just as good once seasoned, wrapped in bacon, and then smoked on the grill for several hours, I don’t give a damn how the thing is killed.

      Tasty is tasty, whether kosher, halal, redneckian (shot in the melon w/ a .38), mybossed (strangled w/ bare hands), or Santormized (you don’t want to know … ) — don’t matter to me much.

      But I’m the kind of liberal who thinks people should eat tasty animals, so …

    116. Jennifer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:25

      Personally, I can’t stand Butterballs – they’ve got the highest level of crap injected into them. I don’t like the flavor of them and definitely am not down with the chemical brew they use to shoot them up.

      Of the non-organics, Riverside seems to have the lowest level of “enhancement”. I did also one time find one that hadn’t been “enhanced” with “broth” at all, but never could find it again and have since forgetten what brand it was.

    117. Whale Chowder said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:26

      Is this the right room for an argument about BSG?

    118. Smut Clyde said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:28

      I DEMAND MY MEAT TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN THE NAME OF CTHULHU!

      I demand meat ritually slaughtered in accordance with the Cult of the Phrygian Great Mother, Magna Mater.

      Also a new halal product, Pepto-Bismallah, for dealing with post-turkey heartburn.

    119. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:29

      Hey, what about my Newt? I made him into an evil gnome, people!

    120. jim said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:33

      I eschew turkey – in the family of meat, it’s the one that makes me FEH.

      Wild duck, however = MAGIC!

    121. Smut Clyde said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:33

      The only way of slaughtering meat that is acceptable to BBBB’s religious beliefs is for the animals to be torn apart by Maenads in a Bacchantic frenzy, maddened by the blood-red wine of Lesbos and the cold clear water of the Hippocrene. Or so I am given to understand.

      Also relevant.

    122. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:34

      It takes a lot of courage to walk into an animal shelter and request “your plumpest kitten, please.” This is especially true when you have identifiably Asian features and your lips are chapped, so that you are constantly licking at them.

      I demand that pedestrian quit being so funny or else reveal his/her* secrets of funniness to us.

      *sorry…if you have revealed your gender at any point, I missed it.

    123. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:35

      Wild duck, however = MAGIC!

      Ducks are magic?!!!! Is that how they manipulate us into giving them bread crumbs?

    124. jim said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:35

      Pepto-Bismallah

      This is not just awesome … this is AWELOTS!

    125. Coach Urban Meyer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:37

      Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, Da Cool Coach’s Thanksgiving SPREAD sure as heckola won’t be including this wacky Islamophobic turkey! Ya better believe that America won’t be eating what Butterbuttheads are servin’, if ya feels what Da Cool Coach is rappin’ at ya!

      Now, the Urbanator being a Super Sleuth and all, found out the real meaning behind this. Yeppers, it’s that ol’ Michelle Obummer trying to force her silly socialist eating agenda down our throats! Wuzza-wuzzup with that? Don’t tell us what to eat, ya clowns! Badoodle-boo-yeah!

      Hear that ConservoMentum coming down the track, libs? Better wise up. Urban out.

    126. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:38

      Hey, what about my Newt? I made him into an evil gnome, people!

      “Yours” hah! As if you did anything to that picture at all — that’s obviously an unretouched original.

    127. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:40

      I bet C.U.M. sits at the kiddy table at Thanksgiving… IYKWIMAITYD.

    128. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:40

      I had to share this. I mean, it’s like they want to lose their genitals in an unfortunate smelting accident lose their heads to the guillotine or something.

    129. sparks said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:42

      McRibs are made of shoggoth. TRUFAX.

      Actually, it’s made out of shoes

      Shoes For Industry!

    130. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:49

      “Yours” hah! As if you did anything to that picture at all — that’s obviously an unretouched original.

      Damn you, Newt!!!

    131. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:54

      *sorry…if you have revealed your gender at any point, I missed it.

      I use male pronouns, thanks for asking :)

      My best comedy advice is to waste at least eight hours a day on the internet.

    132. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:55

      Ducks are magic?!!!! Is that how they manipulate us into giving them bread crumbs?

      Proof! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vBqAPuhoPs

    133. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:55

      I’ve never understood why our national bird symbolizing freedom from hunger was named after an Islamic-majority nation in the first place! Anyway, true American traditionalists won’t touch a turkey unless it’s been musket-blasted as God intended, and with real lead shot– none of that commie “non-toxic” steel or alloy crap.

    134. Jennifer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 21:55

      I had to share this.

      I never would have guessed that the tumbrels would be made by Mercedes.

    135. Ted the Slacker said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:02

      Anyway, true American traditionalists won’t touch a turkey unless it’s been musket-blasted as God intended

      I believe in the 21st century, God intends that turkeys get slaughtered mechanically by minimum wage workers, all caught on camera while wingnut pin-ups get interviewed in the foreground.

    136. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:07

      Top Ten Most Overrated Actors/Actresses of All Time
      by Ben Shapiro

    137. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:07

      Ducks are, indeed, magic. I happen to be roasting one tomorrow, and then I will roast the veggies in luscious, luscious, non-halal duck fat.

      That reminds me of feeding the ducks in Regent’s Park (London) many years ago – I felt a tug on the back of my coat, and turned around, but there was no-one there. I went back to feeding the ducks day-old bread, and felt a tug again. I whirled around, expecting a friend playing silly buggers, and instead, there was a tiny little snow goose, looking up at me hopefully. I guess it felt that if it went around the back*, it would get more bread. It was highly cute.

      *Veiled sodomy reference

    138. Chris said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:08

      Oregon Beer Snob said,
      November 21, 2011 at 20:48

      I swear to God there’s something in the water at those fundie churches and institutions that makes people lose brain cells.

      I have a relative who’s going through seminary and it’s been physically painful to watch him literally get stupider with each facebook wall post. He was always religious and never a liberal, but back in the day I remember him being able to complain about Jerry Falwell’s hypocrisy, root for environmental causes (somewhat) and say that he believed in evolution (even if it was directed).

      Not anymore. Since landing in Baptist seminary, it’s been like watching the Fox News ticker – every other post is part of the War On Mainstream God-Hating Society, and he appears to have become a full-blown creationist. Oy, vey & gevalt.

    139. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:08

      I had to share this.

      Unbelievable. Next toy manufacturers will start selling Mobile Tech Command Centers and Barbie’s Dream Unmarked Vans.

    140. jim said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:09

      McConnell & Boehner: going for Teh CHAMP10NSH1P.

    141. jim said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:12

      I happen to be roasting one tomorrow

      Hrlglglrmlglrglglmrgl.

      (brb, spit-mopping)

    142. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:15

      Only turkeys decapitated by the bite of a Leucomorph and defeathered in the mouth of a deodad are served at my place.

      I am heading out this afternoon to pick up my organic, free range, heritage breed fowl beast. I have been informed that the Leucomorphs and deodads are equally organic and that the decapitation and defeathering are accompanied by spells given by Pandelume himself. The farm is in California – it seems legit.

    143. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:15

      It takes a lot of courage to walk into an animal shelter and request “your plumpest kitten, please.” This is especially true when you have identifiably Asian features and your lips are chapped, so that you are constantly licking at them.

      Semi-related. From someone I know who is thinking of getting into the comic strip business.

    144. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:16

      mmmmmmm, roasted rich executive…erm, I mean duck–DUCK!!

      Top Ten Most Overrated Actors/Actresses of All Time
      by Ben Shapiro

      I read in the last thread he put Katherine Hepburn and Meryl Streep on this list. *sigh*

      Also, he is 12–what does he know?!

    145. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:18

      defeathered in the mouth of a deodaNd are served at my place.

      FTFY

    146. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:18

      Substance McGravitas – IF that is his real name – is about to receive a most forceful and adamant A-FUCKING-HEM.

    147. Pryme said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:21

      Top Ten Most Overrated Actors/Actresses of All Time
      by Ben Shapiro

      AKA: OHMYGODWHYDOESEVERYONETHINKTHESELIBSCANACTTHEYSUCK

    148. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:21

      Barbie’s Dream Unmarked Vans.

      1% Job Creator Barbie would rather risk decapitation at the hands of a sticky, grubby 7-year-old girl than given up even a dime of her pretend money.

    149. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:22

      has anyone done a Nyarlathotep Cat yet?

      What does it do endlessly, and remember the annoying soundtrack.

    150. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:23

      Ducks are, indeed, magic. I happen to be roasting one tomorrow

      How do you roast a duck? Tell jokes about its mother?

    151. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:26

      There are few man-made things that are visible from space: The Great Wall, maybe the pyramids….South Carolina has added one.

    152. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:28

      That reminds me of feeding the ducks in Regent’s Park (London) many years ago

      The Ho and I picked out some delicacies in Harrod’s food court and headed across the street to picnic in the park. Izzat Hyde Park? I don’t remember. Anyway, we had some cheeses, pates, crusty bread and Belhaven Scottish ale. Some of The ducks, geese and other winged beasts were gathering at our feet, underneath the bench for the bread crumbs we were inevitably dropping. We then made the mistake of tearing off some bread bits and tossing them to the critters whereupon the entire feathered population swarmed us. Just for shits and grins I fed one of them a bit of duck pate. The duck closed its

    153. The Dark Avenger said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:29

      Tell jokes about its mother?

      Make remarks about its’ corkscrew penis.

    154. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:30

      Mouth once, twice then spat out the pate and made the most godawful noises. Noises I had never heard a duck make before. I think it was saying “IT’S US THEY’RE EATING US!!!” because ALL of the birds immediately went away.

      Fuck you iPad.

    155. The Dark Avenger said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:30

      http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2001/09/14/366856.htm

    156. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:30

      David Frum calls out the GOP.

      I swear, why do they wait until it’s too late for them to do a damn thing about it?

    157. pedestrian said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:32

      “IT’S US THEY’RE EATING US!!!”

      And how did it know what duck tastes like, hmmmmmm?

    158. Pryme said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:33

      I swear, why do they wait until it’s too late for them to do a damn thing about it?

      All part of their “Wash/Rinse/Repeat” strategy: claim the people who came before them were frauds/sell-outs, and that they represent true Conservatives. People vote them back in, they screw the country over up a little more, get voted out, and the cycle repeats…

    159. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:33

      South Carolina has added one.

      Thankfully it’s not a big deal, after all they can just light the pile on fire and it’ll go away eventually.

    160. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:34

      Speaking of Barbie…

    161. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:36

      The Ho and I picked out some delicacies in Harrod’s food court and headed across the street to picnic in the park. Izzat Hyde Park?

      Hyde Park is in Westminster. Harrod’s is in Knightsbridge. I don’t know there’s a park with a pond near there. Maybe behind the museum.

    162. Pupienus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:36

      And how did it know what duck tastes like, hmmmmmm?

      Well, considering that I know what adult human males taste like…

    163. DAS said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:37

      I have a relative who’s going through seminary and it’s been physically painful to watch him literally get stupider with each facebook wall post. – Chris

      In my denomination, we have the opposite situation: going through our seminary turns most folks into dirty hippy liberal socialists. We have our share of GOoPers in the pews, but just because Bobo is affiliated with my denomination and it has “conservative” in its name, doesn’t stop our seminary from reliably turning out bumper crops of lefty Rabbis.

    164. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:38

      What does it do endlessly,,,

      Harbinges* doom and teh coming of teh Old Ones.

      *Wot? Harbinges is too a word.

      re: 1% Vans.

      Sprinters. OMG. They may be branding them Mercedes now, but those are Dodges. I guess a half million conversion includes a replacement powerplant because they originally made those things with dinky little engines. Econolines were the go to conversion van because OMG service vehicles needed to be able to actually pull weight! As a camper conversion or portable office it kinda makes sense – the only advantage of the Sprinter was you can stand up inside one. But wow. It youstabe a ghetto-van.

    165. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:38

      Hyde Park is in Westminster. Harrod’s is in Knightsbridge.

      Oh wait. No, the London Corner in Hyde Park is in Westminster, but Hyde does jump the A4 and behind Carriage Drive, so yes, probably Hyde

    166. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:40

      Make remarks about its’ corkscrew penis.

      Oh my. That is impressive.

    167. Pupienus Maximus said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:42

      Yep, Hyde Park. The pond is “The Serpentine.”

    168. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:43

      Sprinters. OMG. They may be branding them Mercedes now, but those are Dodges. I guess a half million conversion includes a replacement powerplant because they originally made those things with dinky little engines.

      I think they have a turbo diesel with a decent amount of torque now. But conversion or no, why would anybody want to associate themselves with anything that “Jon&Kate+8″ tainted?

    169. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:43

      Yep, Hyde Park. The pond is “The Serpentine.”

      Yea, I remember having the same confusion when I was over there, and walking amongst the embassies.

    170. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:43

      I swear, why do they wait until it’s too late for them to do a damn thing about it?

      In David Frum’s defense*, he’s been saying that for years now. Subby embedded a Blogginheads where he’s calling Jonah out on teh SOSHULASM! back in May 2010. I do believe it was Grifty McQuits-a-lot that pushed him over teh edge.

      *I know, defending David Frum. It’s because I have such respect for his late mom.

    171. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:46

      In David Frum’s defense*, he’s been saying that for years now.

      True, but it would have been more helpful if he said it while he was in the Bush White House.

    172. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:54

      As a speechwriter? Look he had axes of evil to grind and no time to warn of the right-wing dive into OOoogaBOOgogaa crazeeland.

      But yeah, David Frum’s a shit.

    173. vacuumslayer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 22:55

      “Pupienus said,
      November 21, 2011 at 22:34

      Speaking of Barbie…”.

      I had to stifle a laff becuz sleeping babby on me.

    174. Thread Bear said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:01

      A saw somewhere recently a graph that showed exactly where our problem, politically, lies. I wish I could find it again. Basically it had one graph to show that the approval rating for Congress is at an all time low. The problem was that it also had another graph that showed that when people were asked to rate their own Congress-critters the approval ratings were positive. It seems that everybody knows that Congress is dysfunctional, but nobody wants to admit that the person they voted for is responsible. No wonder the same idiots keep getting re-elected.

    175. jurassicpork said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:04

      Assclowns of the Week #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition is now up.

      On the spit this week:

      NASCAR
      El Rushbo
      Newt (twice!)
      UC Davis thugs
      Bloomberg and the NYPD and much, much more.

      Please toss in a penny for guy, while you’re at it. There’s a love.

    176. Pryme said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:09

      POOP…now with more Elvis and Hitler!

    177. actor212 said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:10

      Oh sure! NOW they decide to grow a soul!

      The data collected by Harrison Group and American Express Publishing from 769 affluent Americans with discretionary household incomes ranging from $100,000 to more than $1 million dollars. It projects an overall decline of $1.04 billion, or a 6.1 percent drop, in plans to give gifts among affluent and wealthy families compared with 2010.

      The decline in spending is being led by the consumers who make between $100,000 and $250,000. Those in that income bracket are expected to spend 17 percent less than they did in 2010, according to the study. On the other hand, those at the very top of the income spectrum, with discretionary income of $250,000 or more, plan on spending 7 percent more than they did last year.

      Those who are cutting back are not doing it because they are worried about their economic situation, according to Jim Taylor, vice-president of Harrison Group. Instead, he suspects the shift reflects a change in priorities over the last few years, resulting in less emphasis on material goods.

      (emphasis added)

      TRANSLATION:
      Dude, this economy is fucked! We can’t take anything more out of it, so it’s time to batten down the hatches!

    178. Quaker in a Basement said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:22

      I did also one time find one that hadn’t been “enhanced” with “broth” at all, but never could find it again

      And you won’t. The packers get to sell that giant dose of saltwater at the market rate for Grade A poultry.

    179. El Manquécito said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:36

      Say! Those folks over at Pup’s Barbie link are some fun. Frinstance:

      even baby lezzies are given barbies to play with. i gave mine mohawks, banned all male dolls but for an infant male who was too cute to stomp, and organized them in to telepathic underwaters amazons in a military tribal formation. naked.

    180. Spearhafoc, who hasn't read the thread yet said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:52

      It’s a good thing Rick Perry will never become President. He’d never pardon a turkey.

    181. Jennifer said,

      November 21, 2011 at 23:57

      And you won’t. The packers get to sell that giant dose of saltwater at the market rate for Grade A poultry.

      Yep. I know – they tried foisting that polluted Tyson chicken off on us at my Kroger some years back…got to where every fucking package of chicken had a message in 5-point type: “Enhanced up to 15% with a broth solution“. Which was saltwater plus probably chemicals. The chicken tasted like shit – I bought a package by accident thanks to that tiny 5-point type, and the cat wouldn’t even eat it.

      So I complained to the store management. Told them, “I don’t appreciate being charged $2.50 a pound for salt water, and if I was on a salt-restricted diet, I wouldn’t even be able to buy chicken in your store.” They listened and actually did something about it – a few weeks later, for the first time in months, they started stocking no-added solution Sanderson Farm chicken. And as the months went by, it crowded out all the Tyson shit, to the point that they no longer carry it. It seems I wasn’t the only one that didn’t much care for that nasty shit.

    182. Chris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:02

      It’s a good thing Rick Perry will never become President. He’d never pardon a turkey.

      Thanks for reminding me of this.

    183. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:03

      And as the months went by, it crowded out all the Tyson shit, to the point that they no longer carry it. It seems I wasn’t the only one that didn’t much care for that nasty shit.

      I only buy kosher chickens, like Empire. Altho given Pammy’s shitfit here, I may think about patronizing my local halal place.

    184. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:13

      I don’t have the time to read this whole thread, so ahem me if you must, but does this idiot not realize that:

      1) the slaughter process she describes is exactly, I mean EXACTLY, like kosher slaughter;

      2) in the vast majority of cases, halal certification is, like kosher certification, a “default” certification, meaning that it certifies the absence of forbidden ingredients and/or processes, not the presense of anything in particular;

      3) Anti-semites bitch about kosher certification in exactly the same way, using exactly the same reasons and language, as she’s using here?

    185. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:16

      1) the slaughter process she describes is exactly, I mean EXACTLY, like kosher slaughter;

      I thought so too, except it turns out with kosher chicken, the ritual only has to be blessed once, but halal requires a blessing before every killing.

      And muslims can eat kosher, but Jews can’t eat halal. I think.

    186. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:26

      I officially declare the death of yoga

    187. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:27

      Teh Kahtei won’t quit

    188. Spearhafoc, who has now read the thread said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:30

      But then this is the same guy that told me last time I saw him that he was really looking forward to his upcoming road trip through “Yo. Sem. Ight.” as he hadn’t heard of it before, but it sounded like quite the park.

      Yo-Sem-Ight Sam is my favourite Looney Tunes character.

    189. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:34

      Jennifer, I know what you mean. I once bought some Tyson boneless, skinless chicken breasts because the store was out of the regular kind and I figured, what the hell, white meat is white meat, right?

      WRONG.

      The Tyson stuff was brackish. I had to marinate it or drown it in barbecue or soy sauce to render it edible.

    190. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:36

      Teh Kahtei won’t quit

      Damn right she won’t. She’s getting paid 400 large per year. All that blather about “the university needs me….healing process blah blah blah” translates into “there’s no fucking way I’m voluntarily leaving a job where I get paid almost a half mill per year to schmooze donations out of muckety-mucks. I might end up having to WORK for a living!” She’s gotta know that if she leaves/get canned, there aren’t going to be any offers for a chancellorship anywhere else forthcoming.

      The problem in a nutshell: Kahtei’s one of the 1%, and just like the banksters, she’s convinced that she’s critical to the process.

    191. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:38

      Teh Kahtei won’t quit

      With any luck she will be feel, just as confused and disappointed, maybe even betrayed when the govenring boy of the UC system gives her a pink slip. Seriously. She shouldn’t let the door hit her on the ass on the way out.

    192. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:45

      Back to the turkey article…I’m 99% sure that the assertion that all Butterball turkeys are halal-slaughtered is bullshit. Poultry is mass-slaughtered unless there’s some reason not to do it that way, and that reason is invariably kosher or halal processing.

    193. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:54

      What is w/ y’all? You been sleeping or something? I had to read this whole thing to be sure I wouldn’t get the Ahem of Doom for posting Geller & Dumbo Hoft dancing.

      And no mention of the shit-fit Pam threw when she discovered Campbell’s was selling halal soup? Or was that Debbie Schlussel-Woozle? Can’t quite remember. (Scorecard, crazy Jewish dames, yada.) Either way, it’s hee-larious, as if eating this or that after it’s been blessed/cursed/whatever will let the Islamic monkey moon-god demon into your soul or whatever.

      From the M.B. in-box, no turkey trottin’ this yr:

      Hey Bouff,
      Mark your calendar for the 24th, which is Thanksgiving. No turkey this year, we’re having a recession Thanksgiving. [Redacted]‘s getting a couple of DiGiorno pizzas and I’ll bring the pumpkin pie and Dreddi-Whip.

    194. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:55

      Yo, Semite!

      Bee Ess. Jewish people don”t go camping.

    195. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:58

      So there’s a war on Thanksgiving now too, huh? You know this is how it starts… So the Muslims have their brown grubby mitts all over this holiday…no biggie, right? But what happens when the islamofascists start trying to pervert NATIONAL ARBOR DAY????!!!!

    196. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 0:59

      I’m 99% sure that the assertion that all Butterball turkeys are halal-slaughtered is bullshit

      Careful with that axe Eugene! Halal certification of slaughter facilities takes into account modern techniques. Recordings of the blessings are allowed and the very greatest part of poultry slaughtering in this country is done individually, upside down in a kill cone by slashing the artery but not the windpipe so that the bird bleeds out and makes an attractive product. Even in the giantest facilities this is how it’s done, that’s just how one kills chickens. It’s halal!

    197. Spearhafoc, who has now read the thread said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:03

      Yo-Sem-Ight Sam is my favourite Looney Tunes character.

      And speaking of the Muslims co-opting things.

    198. Looch said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:04

      I officially declare the death of yoga.

      Please do. The yuppie/yoga connection (even in the small town I live in!) is too much.

      If it will not die on its own please feel free to to Kevork it.

      That is all.

    199. pedestrian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:04

      I’m 99% sure that the assertion that all Butterball turkeys are halal-slaughtered is bullshit.

      It looks like her only source is Butterball’s own claim that their turkey is halal. I would bet that this simply means that the company slits the throats of its birds and drains out the blood, which was standard industry practice anyway. Maybe they also pay someone to mumble a prayer or play it on a recording loop. Whatever.

      The turkey still isn’t halal. For that to be true, it would have to be fed a vegetarian diet and raised under humane conditions. In other words, no factory farms. This is actually a major topic of debate among Muslims in the U.S. and there is wide agreement that you have to go to a kosher or halal butcher for genuinely halal meat.

      So fine, require labeling, but Pam can rest assured that her Butterball turkey lived a short, agonizing life filled with torture and chemicals and then died under less-than-halal conditions.

    200. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:06

      Relevant. I only drink 100% pure grain alcohol.

    201. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:07

      In a way it’s poultry night chez Manqué. I’ve been experimenting with sous vide. Last night I lay six leg quarters down in a jerk marinade and a sous vide cooker @145F. I did them two at a time for different times from 25 to 14 hours. Then seared them over hardwood coals. The results: not much difference between the times, perhaps the 25 hours was a little much. Using a torch is better than the grill. Very, very good chicken (still just chicken, but still…). Oh yeah, I raised, killed and froze the chickens in question. Don’t remember invoking any deities at the time.

    202. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:12

      Don’t remember invoking any deities at the time.

      What a waste. Do you just not WANT a pony?

    203. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:13

      I am making cheeseburgers. Yes, you can haz.

    204. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:19

      What a waste. Do you just not WANT a pony?

      Only eaten pony a couple of times (vive la France!). DO NOT WANT.

    205. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:22

      Did you know that you can pony yourself? YOU CAN!

    206. Quaker in a Basement said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:22

      This is why you should always handle and cook turkey properly. Make sure to cook to an internal temperature of at least 165 degrees to kill e. coli, salmonella, sharia, listeria….

    207. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:25

      Did you know that you can pony yourself? YOU CAN!

      Totally.

    208. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:26

      So there’s a war on Thanksgiving now too, huh? You know this is how it starts… So the Muslims have their brown grubby mitts all over this holiday…no biggie, right? But what happens when the islamofascists start trying to pervert NATIONAL ARBOR DAY????!!!!

      HOLY FUCKING SHIT! We better invade some shit right now.

    209. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:28

      Howcome nobody wants to attack Home Depot for their fucking War on Saturday? HUH? WILL SOMEBODY ANSWER THAT? WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

    210. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:28

      While out shopping I got a new camera. Target had $50 off any digital camera (with a few exceptions) with the trade in of a working digital camera. My working but senile Panasonic (which was a top rated cam back in th day) just went bye-bye. I can’t wait to play with the new kid.

      If I don’t get too distracted and/or drunk tonight will be white lasagna for meatless Monday. Shitload of veggies, white sauce, lotsa cheeses, what’s not to like?

    211. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:39

      Hey Pup, give me a good, easy eggplant preparation. I don’t buy eggplant very often though I should, because I like it…the issue is I just don’t know many ways to prepare it, and I have one right now – they were too pretty to pass up.

    212. Stag Party Palin said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:40

      DKW said, “Sprinters. OMG. They may be branding them Mercedes now, but those are Dodges.”

      Incorrect, sir. They have always been Mercedes vans, built in the Old Country and brought here unassembled to beat the taxes on trucks. Upon assembly in the Old South they were rebadged as Dodges or Freightliners. Now that Daimler and Chrysler have parted ways, Mercedes dealers are selling them with Mercedes badges.

    213. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:40

      Also, re: halal slaughter…I’ve actually been to a halal butcher shop in Dallas with some friends from Pakistan. They had lots of skinned goats hanging up and the smell was not pleasant. I just kept thinking about how horrified Mickey Kaus would have been.

    214. Spearhafoc, who has now read the thread said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:41

      Totally.

      I don’t mean to criticise, but the Hitler-Pony really should have the swastika as a cutie mark instead of an armband.

    215. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:41

      Not disagreeing with you pedestrian but you seem to think that words still have meaning. All label descriptions have legal definitions. Organic, Natural, Free Range, Halal, Kosher, you know. And by the legal definition, largely written by some lobbyist {not lobbeyist, we’re all lobbeyists here}) says that poultry killed this way is halal. Hence your idealistic utopian ideas about what halal is are neither here nor there for labeling porpoises.

    216. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:42

      Incorrect, sir. They have always been Mercedes vans, built in the Old Country and brought here unassembled to beat the taxes on trucks. Upon assembly in the Old South they were rebadged as Dodges or Freightliners. Now that Daimler and Chrysler have parted ways, Mercedes dealers are selling them with Mercedes badges.

      I still think, thanks to their size, that they’ll make excellent tumbrels. We may need to modify them a bit, but when the time comes, these might even be better than the totally bitchin’ chopped El Caminos I had in mind…

    217. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:48

      I don’t mean to criticise, but the Hitler-Pony really should have the swastika as a cutie mark instead of an armband.

      Good lord I understand this comment. I commend you for your excellent attention to the asses of cartoon ponies!

    218. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 1:51

      I still think, thanks to their size, that they’ll make excellent tumbrels

      They’ll be handy mobile fortresses for the impending zombie apocalypse as well. Just something to keep in mind.

    219. Smut Clyde said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:17

      Did you know that you can pony yourself? YOU CAN!

      Present for VS!

    220. Smut Clyde said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:18

      See also.

    221. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:20

      I’ll be in my barn.

    222. Pupienus Maximus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:25

      Luvs me some eggplant parm. I recently made it in a fashion totally unlike my usual and it was damn good. That’s not surprising since I was riffing on a Mario Batali reipe. He’s so damn good I can ALMOST overlook the clogs. As you can see it’s very simple and the result is as far from American Italian kitchen eggplant parm as you can get.

      That said, I still like the traditional way, breaded for a bit of crispiness. In either case, I INSIST on salting the yegg plant. Slice that puppy into ~1/2″ rounds. Toss ‘em in a colander then sprinkle liberally, heh, with kosher salt and toss them a bit. Let them drain for at least half an hour then rinse and pat dry. Then it’s the old three step process – dredge in seasoned flour, then dip in beaten egg, finally toss in a bowl of bread crumbs seasoned with oregano, thyme, marjoram, whatever eyetie herbs you like. Fry those beotches in olive oyl (I use extra virginity for everything but light here would be okay, or even veggie oil) until nicely browned on both sides. Drain on paper towels.

      Spoon some tomate sauce (Mario’s basic sauce as in that link is the way to go, and you can customize it to your liking. I frequently add some red pepper flakes and recommend it for this dish.) Lay down some of them yeggyplant slices, some sliced mozzarella, dust heartily with fresh grated parmesan and if you have it some fresh, torn basil leaves. drizzle a tad more sauce on top then repeat for another layer. Or two. Top the final eggplant with more mozzarella . Bake in a preheated 350 ovenfor 30 – 45 minutes, until the top is bubbly. Feel free to let it go longer to get some browned cheese or hit it with the broiler for a minute.

    223. Pupienus Maximus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:29

      My brother has one of them Mercedes Sprinters. It’s largely stock, he uses it to haul his motorcycle for longer trips. For silliness he prefers his Pinzgauer.

    224. pearloftheprairie said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:31

      If I could find my Halal, I’d finger the hell out of it.

    225. Origuy said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:42

      John Scalzi has a rabbit named Cthuhlu, Lord Snuggleston.

    226. Major Kong said,

      November 22, 2011 at 2:52

      I’ll be in my barn.

      Wiiiiiiiillllbuuuuur!!!

    227. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knoowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:07

      Well, YHWH the Wind God should be no stranger to Arabic, since the Hebrews borrowed him from some Arabic-speaking tribe in the first place, and since everything else is the same, wassa fuckin’ diffo, Pammycakes?

    228. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:10

      The real question is: where does that extra “o” in my ‘nym come from? I didn’t type it—I haven’t typed it again since the first time (well, the first time in each browser.) Firefox just stuck it in there…weird.

    229. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:14

      where does that extra “o” in my ‘nym come from?

      You need a full cookiectomy.
      .

    230. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:15

      The real question is: where does that extra “o” in my ‘nym come from?

      Teh Firefox has been infiltrated by filthy ebol mooslums also. You just got a gratuitous O. That’s not such a bad thing, is it?

    231. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:17

      YOU’RE ALL DEAD

      Did you know that the turkey you’re going to enjoy on Thanksgiving Day this Thursday is probably halal? If it’s a Butterball turkey, then it certainly is — whether you like it or not

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo………………..

    232. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:19

      Thanks, Pup. Eggplant parm will be on the menu sometime this week.

    233. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:21

      I don’t need to worry about a halal turkey. I have a horseshoe over the door, I have murdered every black cat in the neighborhood, I never break mirrors or walk under ladders. Also, I had a dream where I foresaw not dying because I eated a halal turkey. I was visited by an angel who told me not to worry too much about it. She had something to say about the compulsive masturbation, but we won’t get into that right now.

      Anyway…I’m good. No worries.

    234. Spearhafoc, who has now read the thread said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:25

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo………………..

      Talk about extra ‘o’s.

    235. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:28

      Waterlogging ham was just a conspiracy to sell water for several dollars a pound, I’ll go along with that. I think “enhancing” turkey was an attempt to give you the advantages of brining without having to do it yourself—which is a total pain in the ass, if you’ve never brined anything but a pork chop. It should be the same as a turkey you brined yourself, but it’s just…not. They should really give it up. (It’s still not as disgusting as waterlogged ham, though.)

    236. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:28

      Knoowledge is poower.

    237. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:30

      Knoowledge is poower.

      Reading can be fun-DUMB-MENTAL.

      If you’re locked in the Scaife rendering plant.
      .

    238. N__B said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:41

      Did you know that you can pony yourself? YOU CAN!

      I am sadly excluded. There was no option for a cubical head.

    239. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:50

      Did you know that you can pony yourself? YOU CAN!

      I’d just like to say thanks for having me click that right as Mr. Slayer was talking to me behind me. Now, he thinks I’m into pony play.

    240. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 3:51

      I am sadly excluded. There was no option for a cubical head.

      Plus…NO FRECKLES option.

      Or was there?…I didn’t finish.

    241. pedestrian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 4:02

      Now, he thinks I’m into pony play.

      That should make office gifting more interesting.

    242. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 4:44

      Relevant horsey/pony tunes.

    243. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 4:45

      Oh, it was already dead? I needn’t've bovvered? Bugger.

    244. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 4:46

      Now, he thinks I’m into pony play.

      You just say “NAY!”

    245. Major Kong said,

      November 22, 2011 at 4:53

      Do spur marks go away after a while?

      No reason, just curious.

    246. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 4:55

      Y’all are just trying to change my mind about the edible attractiveness of ponies. NOT WORKING.

    247. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:26

      FAUX Nooze news:

      “Because of the controls for partisanship, we know these results are not just driven by Republicans or other groups being more likely to watch Fox News,” said Dan Cassino, a Fairleigh Dickinson political science professor who took part in the analysis of the PublicMind data. “Rather, the results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people to do worse on these questions than those who don’t watch any news at all.”
      ~

    248. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:40

      Talk about extra ‘o’s.

      Did it sound like I was falling off a cliff?

    249. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:45

      “Rather, the results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people to do worse on these questions than those who don’t watch any news at all.”

      Gee, I wonder what that could possibly be.

    250. Chris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:47

      ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
      November 22, 2011 at 5:26

      I’d read something like that before. If you’re living in an alternate universe, naturally the more you pay attention to that universe’s news, the farther you’ll be from the way things really are.

    251. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:51

      ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
      November 22, 2011 at 5:26

      I think it comes down to confirmation bias. I don’t think Fox viewers are dumber and less informed because they watch Fox, but rather hopelessly misinformed and even willfully ignorant and seeking validation from people who aren’t afraid to celebrate everything that is wrong with the human race. Also, forget not the eye candy factor.

    252. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:53

      Chris – you’re probably thinking of Al Franken, from Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot. Franken’s way of describing it was so side-splittingly hilarious that I can still paraphrase it; it went something like this:

      “In this survey, respondents were asked to rate how well-informed they were on current events and news. The Limbaugh listeners consistently reported that they were the best informed, while a questionnaire of these respondents asking about news and current events revealed that they were actually the worst informed. Social scientists call this phenomenon ‘false certainty. I call it, ‘being a complete fucking moron.’”

    253. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:55

      Also, forget not the eye candy factor.

      Bill O’Reilly is JUST DREAMY

    254. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 5:56

      Did I really just quote and comment on my own comment? How rude.

    255. Spearhafoc, who has now read the thread said,

      November 22, 2011 at 6:04

      Not really, but commenting on your comment on your comment is rude.

    256. Martha Stewart said,

      November 22, 2011 at 6:08

      Hey Pam,

      Drizzle some bacon grease on your god damned turkey and it won’t be halal any longer.

      Problem solved.

    257. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 6:12

      Not really, but commenting on your comment on your comment is rude.

      I went too far.

    258. N__B said,

      November 22, 2011 at 6:15

      Pro tip: Abe Rosenthal of the NY Times once quoted himself quoting himself. Kids, don’t try this without a safety air bag composed of petri-dish-grown chunks of your own ego.

    259. A Day Late and Five Dollars Short said,

      November 22, 2011 at 6:39

      Fox News claims to be the most watched and highest rated tv news network. They also constantly take swipes at the evil and bised mainstrem media. If Fox is the most watched and highest rated then Fox IS the evil and biased MSM!

    260. pedestrian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 7:19

      In other news, the GOP continues to drift toward Stalinism:

      http://money.cnn.com/2011/11/21/news/economy/gingrich_cbo_socialism/index.htm?iid=Popular

    261. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 22, 2011 at 7:42

      Tebow, anyone?
      ~

    262. gocart mozart said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:29

      This thread need some jalapeno sauce.
      http://peppersprayingcop.tumblr.com/

    263. gocart mozart said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:32

      43 minutes between comments and I post the same link. ifthethunderdontgetya, how do you know that that is not the Holy Spirit?

    264. gocart mozart said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:36

      I like the Where’s Waldo being pepper sprayed one but that’s just me.

    265. gocart mozart said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:39

      Charles Johnson steals material from Tintin, the end is nigh.
      http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39475_Pamela_Geller_and_the_Stealth_Jihad_Turkey_Conspiracy

    266. Porlock Junior said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:46

      @Vacuumslayer –

      “Ducks are magic?!!!! Is that how they manipulate us into giving them bread crumbs?”

      Don’t blaspheme the ducks. They will get you sooner or later.
      “How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.” — Lord Peter Wimsey

    267. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:55

      ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 22, 2011 at 7:42 (kill)

      The M.C. Escher one is excellent.

    268. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

      November 22, 2011 at 8:59

      I like the Where’s Waldo being pepper sprayed one but that’s just me.

      The Tiananmen Square one is also quite pointed.

    269. pedestrian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 9:11

      Charles Johnson steals material from Tintin, the end is nigh.

      I know, I can’t get used to it! The other day he was quoted by a pro-immigrant attorney on my twitter feed. And his commenters, that’s what really spooks me. Can you really just trade in for new ones? How long does that take?

    270. gocart mozart said,

      November 22, 2011 at 9:22

      Heh,
      http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/casually-pepper-spray-everything-cop/photos

      “Can you really just trade in for new ones? How long does that take?”

      He must have just banned them all and started from scratch.

    271. Porlock Junior said,

      November 22, 2011 at 9:23

      @Jennifer–

      “Kahtei’s one of the 1%, and just like the banksters, she’s convinced that she’s critical to the process.”

      Only 400K a year? Sorry, I don’t think that qualifies for 1% by income. (Takes about a million IIRC.) And I’m sure she doesn’t make it by net worth; the figures I have indicate you have to go around 5 bigbig ones for that.

      No, just a loyal 1% wannabee.

    272. Hogeye Grex said,

      November 22, 2011 at 10:15

      Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 21, 2011 at 19:11

      OT – UC Davis pepper spray cop tribute.

      Things like this are what gives me any hope at all for the future.

      Some of these are fucking awesome.

      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/457/tumblr_luzhhsA4A01qz50dao1_400.jpg?1321858702
      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/669/gixXe.jpg?1321899388
      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/792/cop.jpg?1321906277

      I mean, seriously
      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/821/clockwork%20orange.jpeg?1321908328
      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/967/say_hello_to_my_spray.jpg?1321914653
      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/970/Occupy%20Oz.jpg?1321915095

      One I was expecting
      http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/203/987/BirminghamPepper.jpg?1321916395

    273. Smut Clyde said,

      November 22, 2011 at 10:17

      there is something about watching Fox News that leads people to do worse on these questions than those who don’t watch any news at all.”

      Someone has a wee problem with “correlation != causation”.

    274. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 22, 2011 at 11:55

      Coming soon: the rumor that OBAMA FAMILY EATS HALAL TURKEY!!11!!

      Seekrit muslin!

    275. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 12:31

      I watched the Davis video again last night on KO. I swear to God, the cop chuckled before he stepped over the protestor and started spraying.

      Needless to say, FOX is passing the meme that pepper spray is just a condiment.

    276. kiki said,

      November 22, 2011 at 13:05

      The standard modern method of a steel bolt through the brain doesn’t sound all that great, either.

      Call it, friendo.

    277. kiki said,

      November 22, 2011 at 13:07

      FOX is passing the meme that pepper spray is just a condiment.

      And a good honest Amerkun one too. If Obama has his druthers, all the cops will be forced to use poofy grey poupon spray.

    278. Ted the Slacker said,

      November 22, 2011 at 15:03

      FOX is passing the meme that pepper spray is just a condiment.

      So the cop was planning to the eat the protestors? Imagine that!

    279. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 15:26

      Hey, you know who we haven’t heard from lately?

      Glenn Beck.

      Funny how that works – take away the crazy man’s TV show, and he goes away.

    280. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 22, 2011 at 15:29

      Fuck you iPad.

      I thought the ducks had taken you hostage, or something.

    281. Major Kong said,

      November 22, 2011 at 15:36

      Hey, you know who we haven’t heard from lately?

      Glenn Beck.

      You’re all just jealous that the voices only talk to Glenn.

    282. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:03

      FOX is passing the meme that pepper spray is just a condiment.

      Ahh, Megyn Kelly. Stay classy.

      Actually, this is a pretty good approach to helping folks understand pepper spray. It’s not exactly comparable since the highly concentrated heat has the potential to cause much more acute damage, but there is an actual objective measure of “heat” – Scoville units. Tabasco sauce is about 2,500. Habanero peppers are about 100 times hotter at 250,000. Law enforcement grade pepper spray? Five million.

      Droplet size is highly variable depending on the spray nozzle, surface tension of the liquid, spray velocity, type and nature of carrier, &c. Also, the duration of the spray and degree of overspray will effect the dosage that is meaningfully “servicing the target.” Let’s assume a fifth of a teaspoon of pepper spray (1 mL) being applied to a protestor. That’s the equivalent of about half a gallon of Tabasco sauce. To the face.

      It’s a food product, essentially.

    283. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:17

      Re: those pepper spray pictures, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

      Re: Megyn Kelly and all the other Fox News Femme Bots…I guess I don’t get the fuss over their supposed attractiveness. Most of them are actually pretty mediocre-looking…and are wearing so much make-up it would have to be removed with a trowel. Seriously, it’s kinda gross. Plus, the hair that’s dyed 12 shades lighter than their actual hair color and doesn’t resemble any color in nature? Ewww.

      Also, DK-W, I was wondering if you could give me the PERFECT Asian-style glaze to put on my wings tonight. I WON’T DO HOT TONIGHT–I JUST WON’T!

    284. Ted the Slacker said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:23

      Ahh, Megyn Kelly. Stay classy.

      Teh gawker commentators are taking this one to the house.

      Megyn Kelly on the Bataan Death March, “It was a bit of exercise, essentially”.

    285. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:26

      Mustard gas… great on hot dogs! Agent Orange… a tasty way to get your vitamin C! So, what, now Congress declares pepper spray a vegetable(along with pizza and Megyn Kelly) and serves it in school lunches? If she’s so sure it’s a condiment why not agree to drink a shot glass full? Or just spray it on her tongue?

    286. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:35

      Or just spray it on her tongue?

      I volunteer to administer this…condiment.

    287. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:46

      LEAFS SUCK update – despite the court ruling that Freedom of Assembly as guaranteed by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms is subservient to the Toronto Parks By-Law and the eviction notices are constitutional, there are still tents up. There is no plan to actually remove the protestors as of yet, in fact when midnight rolled around the population of the encampment swelled in numbers and the drum circle started up for two hours. No heavy police presence was seen.

    288. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 22, 2011 at 16:51

      LEAFS SUCK update

      You hosers just don’t know how Democracy™ is supposed to work.
      ~

    289. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:05

      Maybe they found a mouse in their beer—eh?

    290. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:08

      Also, DK-W, I was wondering if you could give me the PERFECT Asian-style glaze to put on my wings tonight.

      General Tso Chicken. A glaze/sauce originally intended for fried chicken bits and with heat so not that different from Buffalo wings. Although you should adjust the spiciness to the level you’re accustomed to. Soy for salt, sugar or hoisin for sweet, ginger, red chili flakes, vinegar and cooking wine. Here’s an epicurious General Tso recipe.

      My general rule for asian sauces is 3:1 sugar to salt, i.e. a tablespoon of sugar to each teaspoon of salt. Hoisin and soy aren’t exactly comparable in sweet/salty to sugar and salt but pretty darned close. The epicurious has sweet coming from hoisin, sugar and rice wine vinegar – which complicates the mix, so if you’re going with that for proportions, don’t mess with it too much.

      To simplify (for half a pound of wings), I’d go with a 2 Tbsp of hoisin, 1 tsp of rice wine vinegar, 2 tsp soy. Ginger and red chili flakes as you feel comfortable. Teensy splash of mirin if you’ve got it. Cook together in a saucepan. When your wings are finished frying, dump them in the sauce, swirl ‘em around to coat thoroughly and then set on a baking sheet. Finish them under the broiler for a minute to help set the glaze. Garnish with chopped green onions.

    291. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:17

      You rock, DK-W. Thanks so much. That sounds perfect.

      My, you’re thorough! At least that’s what my mom says.

    292. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:31

      Option 2. It’s early enough that you can start marinating wings for satay, but this one’s moar work. First puncture each wing with a sharp tined fork – it’s a marinading recipe. Make sure you get through the skin and into the meat.

      Marinade – lemon or lime juice with the following added in: tumeric and garam masala (or curry powder if that’s what’s in the pantry) and a messload of chopped garlic. Crack in a couple stalks of lemongrass if you have any. Soak the chicken in this for as long as you can.

      Normally these are grilled, but you can bake ‘em too if you’d like. About half an hour at 350 F, for a single layer of about a pound. It depends on how many wings you’re doing and how big they are. Just do them however you normally cook your wings.

      Serve with the spicy peanut dipping sauce. That’s a big blob of peanut butter, enough cream or coconut milk to loosen it up, a squirt of sambal. You may need to add some sweetness depending on your peanut butter. Combine these in a sauce pan over low heat. Add any bonus flavours you liek – garlic, more red chilis, sesame seeds, wev.

    293. Thread Bear said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:34

      I pass a Planned Parenthood clinic on my way to work each day. Once a month for about eight months now there have been anti-abortion protesters out in front of the clinic. I have yet to see a large squad of riot police with pepper spray, tear gas and rubber bullets show up to disperse them. I know the anti-abortion movement has a long history of violence and property damage, even a murder here and there, but I guess as long as you take a bath first little indescretions like that can be overlooked.

    294. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:37

      Soak the chicken in this for as long as you can.

      I know I don’t have to tell you this but the nature of public forums requires that I make the raw chicken caveat. This is for dinner tonight. An overnight marinating is about as far as I’d go. Don’t be eating chicken that’s been sitting raw in your fridge for weeks because you were marinating for as long as you can. Also note – marinating in the fridge. Raw meat, especially chicken, should not be left at room temperature for extended periods of time unless you know what you are doing (i.e. having Republicans over for dinner).

    295. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:41

      If I can get the waaaaaaaaangs defrosted in time, a marinade and dipping sauce sounds really appealing.

      Thanks…AGAIN.*

      *that’s what your mom said

    296. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:43

      wearing so much make-up it would have to be removed with a trowel.

      In fairness, vs, HD TV really brings out the flaws and imperfections in a face. Katie Couric, for example, used to be fairly modest in her make up, and then the Today Show went HD and she started clowning up. I thinnk Meredith Viera once basically said “Fuck it,” and let every one of her 56 years shows.

    297. Aunt Acid said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:44

      Jumping to thread-end, so if this has already been addressed, feel free to *ahem* your dear old Auntie, but did anyone else hear the Marketplace interview on NPR the other day about artificially-inseminated turkeys? Turns out that close to 100% of turkeys consumed in this country are reproduced artificially. Generations of hybridizing and selecting for birds with grotesquely hypertrophied (but delicious!) breasts have rendered the species unable to, um, “do it” at all, so the only way they can lay fertilized eggs is to use artificial insemination. This is an extremely labor-intensive, manual process, both “pitching” and “catching” as it were. So somewhere out there is a job description, and a job title, something like “Turkey Jerker”.

    298. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:47

      Also, DK-W, I was wondering if you could give me the PERFECT Asian-style glaze to put on my wings tonight. I WON’T DO HOT TONIGHT–I JUST WON’T!

      Commie hippie pinko…Buffaloing ain’t good enough fer ya???

    299. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:47

      artificially-inseminated turkeys

      OK, look: I admit it. There were too many of them and not enough Viagra, OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK????????????????????

    300. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:50

      How come half the time I try to comment at Whiskey Fire, the “post” and “preview” buttons are inactive? Anybody else have this issue? It’s really frustrating. I HAVE WITTY THINGS TO SAY.

    301. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:50

      Option 3.

      Them wings are dissenting rabble rousing terrorist wannabes. Pepper spray ‘em. Then beat them with a baton.

    302. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:51

      Try rebooting. Sometimes you get cookie issues at typepad sites.

    303. N__B said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:53

      the raw chicken caveat

      A little-known codicil in the WWF by-laws.

    304. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:53

      Them wings are dissenting rabble rousing terrorist wannabes. Pepper spray ‘em.

      I told you I’m bored with hot wings.

    305. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 17:54

      A little-known codicil in the WWF by-laws.

      World Wrestling Federation has some weird rules.

    306. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:04

      A little-known codicil in the WWF by-laws.

      World Wrestling Federation has some weird rules.

      What? It’s about the lucha libradors.

    307. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:25

      How come half the time I try to comment at Whiskey Fire, the “post” and “preview” buttons are inactive? Anybody else have this issue? It’s really frustrating.

      Thudner is applying condiments to the commenters.

    308. kg said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:32

      vs

      you can make a really nice asian glaze using honey, sesame oil, soy sauce, garlic, sesame seeds and ginger (and whatever else you like).

      one other thing that I started doing a long time ago that made a huge difference is to break down the wing into the three separate pieces before marinating and cooking. the little wing tip at the end can be used for stock or whatever (not much to eat there).

    309. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:33

      Thudner is applying condiments to the commenters.

      Dibs on the mango chutney!

    310. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:34

      the little wing tip at the end can be used for stock or whatever (not much to eat there).

      Are you kidding? It’s the perfect handhold for flinging excess hot sauce at your dinner mates!

    311. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:37

      “Condom-mints.” Is that a new flavor of Girl Scout Cookie? DO NOT WANT!

    312. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:39

      Say, didn’t you used to be The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knoowledge

    313. Jennifer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:45

      Also, too: pretty much anything is delish if you use the toasted sesame oil. I have this super-simple recipe for whole fresh or frozen green beans: I steam the beans to crisp-tender and while they’re steaming, I brown some slivered almonds in toasted sesame oil. When the beans are done steaming, I toss them in the oil with the almonds, add a sprinkle of salt, and…delish & easy.

    314. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:46

      He who controls the spice….

    315. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:46

      War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength, Knoowledge is…. Help a dictator out here!

    316. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:50

      Peaceful protesters are being assaulted with chemical weapons, and what I’m seeing on the national news right now is that somebody’s kids spilled flour all over their living room. Is that “Knoowledge”?

    317. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:50

      Moar, please

    318. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:51

      Also, too: pretty much anything is delish if you use the toasted sesame oil.

      Doesn’t that short the toaster out?

    319. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:52

      Knoowledge is…. Help a dictator out here!

      Ignerts

    320. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:54

      Ignerts

      Like Ignatz Radzky-Wadsky?

    321. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:55

      Police are at St James Park now, only observing. Some of the structures are being taken down by the Occupiers but the library yurt is being left standing with people chained to it. Looks like the strategy is for the civil disobedience portion of the program – the refuting of the eviction notice – will be carried out by a token segment of the encampment. Word is that they are looking to relocate and reOccupy a new space.

    322. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:56

      Like Ignatz Radzky-Wadsky?

      No, like in Krazy Kat.

    323. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 18:58

      re: sesame oil

      It’s very aromatic, a little goes long way. Also, it has a low smoke point, so be careful not to burn it. I like using it as a finishing oil – added to hot dishes just before serving.

    324. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:01

      I like using it as a finishing oil

      So does your mom

      *wiggling eyebrows*

    325. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:04

      I got an Asian-style “Cup-o’-Noodles”-type thing a while back that had a little packet of “sesame oil” along with it. Turned out to be untoasted sesame oil! Will literally suck all the taste out of your tongue for hours! Don’t buy sesame oil at a health food store, ’cause that’s what you get.

    326. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:18

      vs

      you can make a really nice asian glaze using honey, sesame oil, soy sauce, garlic, sesame seeds and ginger (and whatever else you like).

      one other thing that I started doing a long time ago that made a huge difference is to break down the wing into the three separate pieces before marinating and cooking. the little wing tip at the end can be used for stock or whatever (not much to eat there).

      I actually buy them already cut up, which is really handy.

      And I love that mixture. You can use it on so many things. In fact, I like to make Udon noodles with some of those ingredients. (That will be one of our sides tonight.)

    327. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:19

      I had problems with the “preview” button at Whiskey Fire (only when using a link) with Firefox.

      With Google Chrome everything seems to work pretty well.*

      * I thank my Information Technology expert and all-around Good Will Ambassador, M. Bouffant, for tipping me to Chrome.
      ~

    328. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:20

      Do you toast sesame oil with pepper spray?

    329. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:21

      I like to make Udon noodles with some of those ingredients

      No Udont

      (someone had to say it)

    330. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:30

      With Google Chrome everything seems to work pretty well.*

      OPERA ROOLZ!

      Also Macs suck.

    331. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:31

      Also Macs suck.

      You still on your iPad? I think you might want to fix the autocorrect.

    332. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:33

      It’s a food product, essentially.

      It was foretold, yet we did not heed.

    333. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:33

      You can use Opera on a PC?

      Also, Windoze sucks. (Had to be said.)

    334. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:54

      Also, Windoze sucks. (Had to be said.)

      Lemme know when I can get Skyrim on a Mac.

    335. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:57

      Skyrim

      I’m pretty sure you can only get those airplanes.

    336. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:57

      on

    337. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 19:58

      Have I ever posted a half-way decent joke here and not pooped all over it with bad spelling or a left out word? EVER?

    338. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:03

      Hey, at least your name is supposed to have two consecutive identical vowels in it.

    339. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:05

      Have I ever posted a half-way decent joke here and not pooped all over it with bad spelling or a left out word? EVER?

      How the fuck would we know? You’re in nearly everyone’s killfile and the rest don’t bother to read your comments.
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      .

      .
      PHPHTPTHTTPTHPTHTHT

    340. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:05

      I think we’ve all forgiven you for the unpardonable sin of misspelling your name once, Reverend.

      Me, I have a…record. A very bad record.

    341. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:06

      “How the fuck would we know? You’re in nearly everyone’s killfile and the rest don’t bother to read your comments.”

      Ouch. I do hope that’s a joke.

    342. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:07

      TIL

      Etymology

      From Ancient Greek ??? (epi, “upon”) + ????? (kharis, “joy”) +????? (kakos, “evil”).

      Pronunciation IPA: /??p??kær?k?si/

      Noun epicaricacy (uncountable)
      (rare) Rejoicing at or derivation of pleasure from the misfortunes of others.

      Usage notes
      The word is mentioned in some early dictionaries, but there is little or no evidence of actual usage until it was picked up by various “interesting word” websites around the turn of the twenty-first century.

      tl;dr: epicaricacy = English for Schadenfreude

    343. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:08

      So, hey, if pepper spray is “essentially” a condiment, isn’t pot “essentially” an herb? And maybe also cocaine? LSD is derived from rye ergot, right? It’s “essentially” a mushroom! How can they be against any of these wholesome things? Oh, and why stop with foods: gay couplehood is a consensual social union with sex and emotional support, hey, it’s “essentially” marriage!

    344. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:10

      Dammit, Fox news better get the fuck on with supporting shit.

    345. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:14

      “A woman who was pepper sprayed during during a raid on Occupy Seattle last week is blaming police after she miscarried Sunday.”

      I wonder where the “pro-life” crowd stands on this.

    346. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:16

      Omg, that’s horrific.

    347. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:16

      So, hey, if pepper spray is “essentially” a condiment, isn’t pot “essentially” an herb?

      More Research Is Needed…

    348. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:21

      I wonder where the “pro-life” crowd stands on this.

      Already seen an asshole claim lefties are hypocrites for being pro-choice and anti-police-brutality-caused miscarriage at the same time. I guess they think “pro-choice” means forced abortion like “pro-life” means means forced birth. That and as always not understanding what “consent” means.

    349. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:21

      I’ve seen the term “pot-herbs” used in some recipe somewhere. I’ll check it out and get back to you….

    350. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:22

      Ouch. I do hope that’s a joke.

      I thought the raspberry made it clear.

    351. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:23

      Hey, and I’ve seen “pot liquor” referenced! RESEARCH GRANT!

    352. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:26

      I, Chromist & alleged big-deal authorized-to-post-items entity right there at Whiskey Fire (‘though I doubt that affects comment posting) have nonetheless had problems w/ those damn buttons at WF. Maybe it is a cookie issue.

    353. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:32

      re: teh Megyn-BillO clip.

      It’s a food product essentially. Drawing snark, as well it should, but in Megyn’s defense I don’t think she was actually suggesting anyone use it to kick up their barbecue. And there are all sorts of examples of how her fembot empathy chip has been fried. Consider that immediately after they say that pepper spray is no big deal, they discuss whether it was actual full-strength pepper spray because the protestors didn’t exhibit enough pain and suffering. And especially with Papa Bear, you can hear the disappointment in their voices. Afterall, UC Davis is “a fairly liberal campus”.

      Also too, Kelly states that police are allowed to use reasonable force in effecting an arrest and some of the protestors (not shown in video) where resisting arrest. In fact as an example of resisting arrest Megyn cites one female student who was, and I blockquote:

      ,,,but where the cop goes to grab one of the students and you can see she puts her arm back, she’s not letting him grab her,,,

    354. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:32

      Maybe it is a cookie issue.

      Right. I should probably eat some cookies before posting at Whiskey Fire.

      Also, may I have your autograph?

    355. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:35

      But then again, it’s a food product, essentially has really great mockability.

    356. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:38

      Completely.

      http://www.politico.com/blogs/click/1111/The_Roots_bash_Bachmann_on_Jimmy_Fallon.html
      .

    357. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:38

      Drawing snark, as well it should, but in Megyn’s defense I don’t think she was actually suggesting anyone use it to kick up their barbecue.

      Don’t tell that to Homer Simpson.

      “Mmmmm….incapacitating…”

    358. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:40

      Oh. My.

      In general, orgasms are very good for you and baby! When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience.

      We’ve ALL had sex with our moms!

    359. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:45

      (05-20) 04:00 PST SAN FRANCISCO — The main study cited by law enforcement agencies to support using pepper spray is apparently tainted by a conflict of interest on the part of an FBI agent who conducted the research.

      The pepper spray study was conducted in the late 1980s by FBI Special Agent Thomas W.W. Ward at the FBI academy in Virginia outside Washington, D.C. But Ward did not disclose at the time that he had accepted $57,000 from a pepper spray manufacturer that was laundered through a Florida company owned by his wife, Sheri.

      Also Cf also too.

    360. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:45

      Hmmm, monotheistic religion based on a Holy Book that dictates moral codes one must adhere to in order to participate in the Resurrection?

      Islam is just Christianity , essentially.

    361. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:47

      Have I ever posted a half-way decent joke here and not pooped all over it with bad spelling or a left out word? EVER?

      Only unintentionally.

    362. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:48

      And maybe also cocaine?

      That’s just another form of chocolate.

    363. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:50

      Mmmmm….incapacitating,,,

      Incapacitation? That’s just having a bit of a rest, essentially.

    364. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:50

      Christianity is Judaism for Dummies™.

      Islam is Christianity for Dummies™.

      Wahhabism is Islam for Dummies™.

      I’m not looking forward to the next simplification.

    365. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:51

      Fisting? Just an amateur colonoscopy, essentially.
      .

    366. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:51

      Afterall, UC Davis is “a fairly liberal campus”.

      Best known for it’s dental & veterinary schools. That’s some serious liberalism. (Not even to mention the cows on campus from the Ag. Dep’t.)

      Also, may I have your autograph?

      I’ll let you know next time I’m appearing at a former blogging star convention selling autographs. You certainly deserve a discount.

      When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing

      Um, wouldn’t that be the embryo or fetus, then?

    367. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:51

      A woman not letting someone grab her? I dunno if that’s resisting arrest, it’s moar like a date with actor, essentially.

    368. M. Bouffant said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:53

      Tasing? ECT, essentially.

    369. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:53

      A woman not letting someone grab her? I dunno if that’s resisting arrest, it’s moar like a date with actor, essentially.

      winnarwinnarchickendinnar
      .

    370. Ted the Slacker said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:54

      When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience.

      Obvious question, does the fetus know when you’re faking it?

    371. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:57

      [catching up]

      This here is my favorite “pepper spray cop” image so far, although this one was the one I was going to make if somebody else hadn’t. Mine would have the spray directed toward the living person though, and would’ve been better proportioned scale-wise. Shit, now I want to make it anyway and that seems petty.

      Also too, Capsaicin, the “hot” active ingredient in peppers and pepper spray, is registered by the EPA as a biopesticide and is commonly used as a ground-applied termite treatment, as well as bear hippy repellent. One of the repellent products I just looked up (1% Capsaicin spray) has this warning on the label (pretty standard language):

      DANGER: May cause irreversible eye damage if sprayed in the eyes. Contact thruogh touching or rubbing eye may result in substantial but temporary eye irritation. Avoid contact with skin or clothing. Wash thoroughly with soap and water after handling.

      I sure hope those cops are careful to wash up properly after spraying all those hippies…
      [/catching up]

    372. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:57

      A woman not letting someone grab her? I dunno if that’s resisting arrest, it’s moar like a date with actor, essentially.

      I like it when she puts up a fight.

    373. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:57

      Best known for it’s dental & veterinary schools. That’s some serious liberalism.

      DENTISTRY IS THEFT!

    374. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 20:59

      Also too, Capsaicin, the “hot” active ingredient in peppers and pepper spray, is registered by the EPA as a biopesticide and is commonly used as a ground-applied termite treatment, as well as bear hippy repellent.

      It’s odd, then, that it’s an anti-inflammatory. My doctor tells me to eat jalapenos when I have chronic pain.

    375. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:01

      Eating jalapenos gives me chronic pain…

      And maybe you should try the chronic, for your pain?

    376. Ted the Slacker said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:02

      This here is my favorite “pepper spray cop” image so far

      In light of Ms Kelly’s insights, this one works rather well.

    377. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:06

      My other complaint about the “it’s a food product, essentially” meme is that teh hashtag #FakeMegynKelly is redundant.

      Police brutality? That’s just very personalized customer service, essentially.

    378. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:08

      And maybe you should try the chronic, for your pain?

      I can crank some out.

    379. Anonymous said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:09

      Jumping to thread-end, so if this has already been addressed, feel free to *ahem* your dear old Auntie, but did anyone else hear the Marketplace interview on NPR the other day about artificially-inseminated turkeys?

      Hell, there was a Dirty Jobs episode about it back in 2008. Bit of episode here.

    380. Anonymous said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:12

      You can use Opera on a PC?

      If Wikipedia’s to be believed, its public debut edition (Opera 2.0) was Windows-only, with other OS versions developed to meet demand.

      I’ve been using it on PCs since, shit, the middle 90s. Actually *paid* for it back before it went to ad-supported and then totally free.

    381. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:14

      When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience.

      For a given value of experience (science nerd alert), by which the flood of hormones will indeed affect the usual flood of hormones…briefly, and in no real meaningful way as to affecting growth as far as we currently understand. And as for them “experiencing” euphoria, yeah, that clump of neural fibers ain’t even approximating complex enough to process shit like that until their out of the birth canal and has lived on its own for at least a couple of months, if not longer.

    382. smedley said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:19

      Megyn Kelly gets paid to use her mouth, so she is a cheap whore, essentially.

    383. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:23

      On the OP since I missed the initial onslaught, conservative monotheists despite their professed beliefs in a monotheistic system, really do act like they believe in a polytheistic universe where magic spells are all powerful.

      By which I mean, of course the idea that a magic spell for a different God (through prayer) is powerful and has the ability to turn your meal into a weapon against your own magic prayer to get into Heaven (Lord’s Prayer or in the form of Conservative Jews, magic prayer to the God of the GOP to let their sinful Jewish asses into white christian Heaven), so it becomes an assault if those magic words are uttered, same if the Jewish words are uttered (not that Geller wants to dwell on that with her audience).

      And that’s why it’s an “assault” that a non-careful Christian could eat something that has different magic spells (prayers) on it, because their careful work to save their soul (saying the Lord’s Prayer or belonging to the “right” church, usually) could be threatened by these counter-spells from the “demonic religions” (what, they may believe in multiple god-level forces, but they aren’t silly enough to believe that any religion besides theirs is the right one).

      If that still seems, even if you bought their insane worldview, like over-privileged whining about having to pay attention to the world when they didn’t have to before, congratulations, you’ve discovered the heart of conservatism.

      Even when you invent insane reasons you are being “assaulted” by “secret attacks” by a minority, you still end up whining about your privilege being threatned.

    384. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:29

      Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:14 (kill)

      Party pooper.

    385. Major Kong said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:35

      When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience.

      I would have guessed it would be more like:

      “Ow! My head!”
      “Ow! My head!”
      “Ow! My head!”
      “Ow! My head!”

      etc.

    386. kg said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:39

      it is an antiinflammatory but I prefer OBS’s solutions
      http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12531428

    387. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:39

      Hey, I didn’t mango dive into this bucket of crazy, let’s see if I can find some new stuff.

      Did you know that the turkey you’re going to enjoy on Thanksgiving Day this Thursday is probably halal? If it’s a Butterball turkey, then it certainly is — whether you like it or not.
      In my book Stop the Islamization of America: A Practical Guide to the Resistance, I report at length on the meat industry’s halal scandal: its established practice of not separating halal meat from non-halal meat, and not labeling halal meat as such. And back in October 2010, I reported more little-noted but explosive new revelations: that much of the meat in Europe and the United States is being processed as halal without the knowledge of the non-Muslim consumers who buy it.
      I discovered that only two plants in the U.S. that perform halal slaughter keep the halal meat separated from the non-halal meat, and they only do so because plant managers thought it was right to do so. At other meat-packing plants, animals are slaughtered following halal requirements, but then only a small bit of the meat is actually labeled halal.
      Now here is yet more poisonous fruit of that scandal.
      A citizen activist and reader of my website AtlasShrugs.com wrote to Butterball, one of the most popular producers of Thanksgiving turkeys in the United States, asking them if their turkeys were halal. Wendy Howze, a Butterball Consumer Response Representative, responded: “Our whole turkeys are certified halal.”

      Legal definition of Halal for Labeling, and that’s by the statutes of the UN. US Law is even more loose, by which I mean:

      In the U.S., there can be no legal definition of kosher or halal, therefore, no legal mechanisms to regulate the standards used by food manufacturers. Legally, manufacturers can use either word on product labeling. They can call their products ‘halal’ or ‘kosher’ simply if they believe that their food meets these standards.

      So in the US, it doesn’t even just need the small bar of avoiding banned foods, using industry standard execution, and muttering a single word. If the company goes, hey, our standard execution style is Kosher/Halal compliant and it’s not an obvious banned animal, push me over with a feather boys, because I’ve just expanded our market like crazy.

      And from the halal site, I thought this line was great:

      This practice of labeling a food or ingredient like gelatin as ‘kosher’ is effective in attracting a significant portion of the “kosher consumer” most of whom are Muslims.

      So basically she felt left out of the anti-Kosher crusade and is basically protesting the same thing with a new name. Given her commenters don’t need to support that big of a cognitive dissonance, that’s why their comments look like a search-and-replace from anti-kosher rants.

    388. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:40

      Pup-

      For the last time, I thought that was the toilet!!!

    389. Aunt Acid said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:44

      …Mormonism is Scientology for Dummies;
      Scientology is Clive Barker for gullible dummies

    390. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:46

      It’s her own fault, essentially.

    391. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:47

      I report at length on the meat industry’s halal scandal: its established practice of not separating halal meat from non-halal meat, and not labeling halal meat as such.

      Wait. So the meat industry prepares meat to a degree that exceeds Federal guidelines, then doesn’t tell anyone about it, and this is somehow, you know, BAD?????

    392. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:50

      In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.
      Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while saying “Bismillah allahu akbar” — in the name of Allah the greatest. Many people refuse to eat it on religious grounds. Many Christians, Hindus or Sikhs and Jews find it offensive to eat meat slaughtered according to Islamic ritual (although observant Jews are less likely to be exposed to such meat, because they eat kosher).

      Everyone already covered the whole, halal slaughter is industry slaughter practice and is definitely kosher slaughter practice already.

      I’ll note that this of course means that she’s arguing that most religious people are vegetarians, especially observant jews.

      Wait, what was that line again?

      lthough observant Jews are less likely to be exposed to such meat, because they eat kosher

      Uh…

      Hmm. So who was the lucky person who pointed out that kosher eaters were the most likely to be exposed to such meat, what with kosher being exactly like halal for labeling and all.

      Others object because of the cruelty to animals that halal slaughter necessitates. Where are the PETA clowns and the ridiculous celebs who pose naked on giant billboards for PETA and “animal rights”? They would rather see people die of cancer or AIDS than see animals used in drug testing, but torturous and painful Islamic slaughter is OK.

      A) PETA is a troll organization and has been for some time. Getting them for hypocrisy on animal rights and where they focus is like shooting a dead fish in a barrel that is conveniently shaped to be the exact width of the gun you are using.

      B) I must have missed PETA’s “halal meat is great” campaign, because it seems that they protested halal practices when they constantly and unendingly protest industry slaughter practices, animal slaughter for meat in general, and otherwise promote a type of vegetarianism that makes people want to punch them (you see, I’m morally superior because I only eat vegetables types).

      C) OK by PETA

    393. Marion in Savannah said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:53

      It’s odd, then, that it’s an anti-inflammatory. My doctor tells me to eat jalapenos when I have chronic pain.

      A doc I used to work for was using capsaicin spray in the treatment of rhinogenic headache. Apparently the capsaicin somehow desensitizes pain receptor cells. If you’re interested try googling F. A. Kuhn, MD and capsaicin and see if you can get any of his stuff without having to pay for medical journal stuff.

    394. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:54

      actor-

      I think she’s setting up the argument that there’s this secret movement to magic spell meat as muslim meat (which will infect you from the inside and won’t make you a pure Christian anymore) and not tell anyone so that people are scared that their meat is secret Muslim meat.

      Why these people also seem to believe that the Christian magic spells they put on their meat before consumption (calling down the blessing) wouldn’t counter this, I’ll leave to a more distinguished theological scholar.

      In short, these are crazy people who have noticed that muslims have about as much power in this country as left handed bicycle repairmen and that’s not feeding their Cold War replacement need for a secret force taking over America, so they’re trying to make them the new communists with the same level of paranoid horseshit.

      Sadly, the best they got is secret meat infestation.

    395. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:55

      There must be some Black Mass like way that Ms Gellar could reverse the horrible curse and throw it back on the mullahs. Like reading the Qran backwards while wearing an inside-out burka in a pentangle of candles over her Butterball.

    396. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:56

      Halal turkey, it’s a sekrit plot to enslave teh world to Shania Law, essentially.

    397. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:58

      A doc I used to work for was using capsaicin spray in the treatment of rhinogenic headache.

      There are any number of topical capsacin products on the market now. I find they work ok for some aches and pains, but most I end up taking NSAIDs for. That said, my achy knee really benefits from a jar of peppers.

    398. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 21:59

      Sadly, the best they got is secret meat infestation.

      I did see a bunch of recent anti-flouridation yard signs in Maine recently.

    399. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:02

      Not only was I recently in Maine but the yard signs were recent as well, also, too.

    400. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:05

      In short, these are crazy people who have noticed that muslims have about as much power in this country as left handed bicycle repairmen

      Smile when you say that, stranger

    401. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:05

      Here are a couple different takes that others did on the pepper spray/Kent State image, both better than the first version I linked to above.

    402. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:06

      Still others refuse to do so on principle: why should we be forced to conform to Islamic norms? It’s Islamic supremacism on the march, yet again.

      As I noted, they’re trying to make this the new communists under the beds and it just doesn’t have the same… pop.

      Also, it’s a privilege whine. They have to be aware of other culture’s existence…in their supermarkets in the suburbs where they go away from having to know about anyone other than themselves and “proper people”! It’s “supremacism”, and they’re being “forced” to consume these niche products.

      Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent. So this Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

      And they will tell you politely that their turkeys are also non-Halal as well. They’re trying to sell a product and noted that doing nothing let them slap on a sticker on a selection of their products that aided their sale. If you complain enough, they’ll print up a second sticker saying “certified non-halal” that will also be the same damn thing.

      But glad this is more important than any other current issue to you.

      Halal turkey, slaughtered according to the rules of Islamic law, is just the opposite of what Thanksgiving represents: freedom and inclusiveness

      Yes, the great inclusiveness that is shown here what with the rants about secret Muslims secretly musliming up our GOD-FEARING FOOD in the same manner as they bitch about kosher food doing the same damn thing and pretending like the same thing is something far more sinister because there may be an additional phrase uttered (unlikely). American White Christian God be praised for this inclusiveness.

      The same Islamic law that mandates that animals be cruelly slaughtered according to halal requirements also teaches hatred of and warfare against unbelievers, the oppression of women, the extinguishing of free speech, and much more that is inimical to our freedom.

      Conservative Christianity and Judaism have none of this, hence the lack of calls to war against Muslim nations over “inherent” Muslim qualities, the free and open support for women’s reproductive rights and consent, and the strong support for OWS protestors and the loud outcry over the tactics employed against them to extinguish their free speech and right to assembly.

    403. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:07

      I did see a bunch of recent anti-flouridation yard signs in Maine recently.

      Why do people have a problem with prepping for deep-frying?

    404. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:10

      Wait. Doesn’t Thanksgiving actually represent being grateful to the natives* for showing the pilgrims how to get enough food to live in the Brave New World?

      *By giving them smallpox infested blankets and stealing all their land.

    405. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:11

      Why do people have a problem with prepping for deep-frying?

      Have you ever seen what a flour bomb can do?

    406. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:15

      paleotectonics said,
      November 21, 2011 at 18:09

      That was Freaking awesome. Somebody at work showed me a couple episodes a couple of months ago and I had completely forgotten about the show.

      So while I wait for the Greatest Bean and Ham soup (with bacon also) ever to grace the planet I plan to watch a few more episodes because those bastards are insane, which puts them right in my wheelhouse….

      The conundrum is catching up on this thread…and with the wetsuits back from the cleaners contemplating a foray for mangoes.

      If Cerberus is afoot, i will probably join fenwick on deck for drinks.

      (OK here is the plan, page down five times, check out one episode…repeat until finished…fit in a Vodka run afterwards…break!)
      .

    407. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:17

      Meh, the whole thing is just…sad.

      And the entire time, I just was thinking, can you really get up on your high horse about “halal” slaughter being cruel when you support the same damn thing by industry standard and kosher requirements?

      And more critically, how she can all talk about “bad old mean muslim” slaughters at all when she hand-waved her guilt away when it turned out she was personally responsible for egging on a Norwegian man to shoot up a bunch of kids in the worst one-man shooting massacre of all time? Especially when her response to that human cruelty was basically to try and spin it as the kids deserving it and what not. Not to mention the support for fascist groups around the world.

      I mean, I know I’m not expecting good faith, rather the opposite, but there is a certain level of heinous where someone wanting you to give a shit about their petty bullshit just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

      Yeah, I’ll give a shit about a specific type of animal cruelty (that would be the same type of cruelty that would be inflicted on them normally. Don’t like it? Don’t eat meat), let me just forget the huge amount of human cruelty and pain you’ve gleefully supported and are trying to incite around the world.

      Oh wait, I’m sorry, I don’t have the Borg implants necessary to do that.

    408. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:17

      ROOTS!

      How you do it.

    409. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:17

      I should start a movement to demand that meatballs and pasta be prepared according to some made-up magic crap a holy rite to appease teh FSM.

    410. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:19

      Boil noodles in holy water, only tomatoes grown on USA AMERICAN SOIL

    411. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:20

      Here are some funny Amazon product reviews of pepper spray.

    412. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:20

      I’m going to start a movement that drops from my butt to Pammy’s mouth.

    413. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:20

      Occupy SANCHEZ

    414. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:21

      Boil noodles in holy water, only tomatoes grown on USA AMERICAN SOIL

      I was thinking more along the lines of boiling in beer, meatballs made only from meat slaughtered by PIRATES!

    415. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:21

      DKW-

      Obviously God worked through the Natives, granting them the food and shelter they needed to survive the winter, then obviously, the Natives were corrupted by their heathen Gods who were actually the Devil in disguise. This demonic possession made their hearts hard against God’s love as demonstrated by the Pilgrims in their efforts to convert them. As such, the slaughter that had already started was retroactively necessary.

      Basically, being conservatively religious means never having to acknowledge that your team has ever done anything wrong or received any kindness from a source other than your chosen God(s).

      Pretty sweet setup really for the sociopath who is tired of that pesky “guilt” feeling.

    416. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:22

      I was thinking more along the lines of boiling in beer, meatballs made only from meat slaughtered by PIRATES!

      Needs salad tossed by NINJAS!

    417. The Great Waldo Pepperspray said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:22

      I like the Where’s Waldo being pepper sprayed one but that’s just me.

      You talkin’ to me? You? Talkin’ to me?

    418. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:22

      It’s Islamic supremacism on the march, yet again.

      I missed the last march; how did that go?

    419. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:23

      Provider_UNE-

      Her mangos are rather desperate. I haven’t dared look into the tigers in the forest, as I damn well know what Breivik-shaped beasts lurk there.

    420. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:23

      I’m going to start a movement that drops from my butt to Pammy’s mouth.

      Human can’tipede?

    421. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:24

      You know, my teenage daughters often sit quietly on the couch like the UC Davis students. Perhaps I should pick up a can of Essentially Condiment Spray™ for motivational purposes.

    422. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:25

      Wow, I made a ton load of fresh pasta this week and never once thought of the FSM. Another deity NOT APPEASED. Skreee!

    423. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:25

      Human can’tipede?

      **GAG**

    424. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:27

      Win for the Occupy movement!

    425. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:28

      Needs salad tossed by NINJAS!

      I really didn’t need to know about that particular fetish, thanks.

    426. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:29

      What does Mr. Pammycakes say while munching Pammy’s carpet?

      If we ever meet in meatspace, I simply might have to kill you.

      If I were you, I might keep a card of whatever invocation you need to be spoken over your lifeless body required to pass into your makers realm, in your pocket.

      Or I may simply have to kill myself…In which case you would be off the hook.

      time for another episode, I guess, so’s I can remove this foul taste from my mouth…
      .

    427. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:31

      Wait. So the natives were agents of God when they first met the pilgrims and only became corrupted by heathen practices afterwards? How’s that work? Same as magnets I guess.

      OT (OccupyToronto) – a bunch of G20 protestors had court dates today and a segment of the encampment has left on a solidarity march with/for them. Just in case you’re wondering about any reports about St. James being deserted.

      There has been a wide range of feelings about getting arrested and it looks like a lot of people who were uncomfortable about going that far with the protest have cleared out. At the same time, others have been arriving with overnight gear. Plus there’s those guys who have chained themselves behind the makeshift barricade around the library yurt.

    428. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:33

      I really didn’t need to know about that particular fetish, thanks.

      But it’s who I am. I refuse to hide in a closet, OBS!

    429. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:33

      If we ever meet in meatspace, I simply might have to kill you.

      So human centipede, no problem, but the love of a man for his silicone-inflated hate-mongering second wife/second husband, that’s an issue?

    430. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:35

      Y’know what this country needs?

      Fewer witch trials

    431. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:35

      So the natives were agents of God when they first met the pilgrims and only became corrupted by heathen practices afterwards? How’s that work?

      Howard Zinn borrowed Barry’s time machine.

    432. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:35

      No problem. I picked up a fresh crate of kittens this morning.

      My sister recently adopted a kitten from a shelter. She had already picked it out while its litter was being fostered by her friend. But apparently there was some problem with the tags, so her only identifying information was that it was the fattest of its siblings.

      It takes a lot of courage to walk into an animal shelter and request “your plumpest kitten, please.” This is especially true when you have identifiably Asian features and your lips are chapped, so that you are constantly licking at them.

      This made me larf out loud it did…This is HiFreakingLarious!
      .

    433. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:36

      DKW-

      Through the ancient and mystical magic of “what can we believe that assauges any and all guilt and justifies our prejudices against people we hate for note being as white and christian as us”.

      I think there’s also a movement in those circles to just cut out the natives from history altogether. They already argue that talking about any slaughter or mistreatment of natives is “anti-American propaganda” that justifies their conservative whitewash attempts of the history books.

      But I think there’s a good crowd that extends that to even the children’s stories of the natives.

      So Thanksgiving didn’t involve any natives at all, just the Pilgrims receiving a bounty from God, thus why they need to say Grace before their meals.

      I think the end goal is to make White Christians the actual natives and brown-skinned people of all types thus, the dirty foreign invaders bringing disease and war (which will naturally include the former natives).

    434. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:38

      Through the ancient and mystical magic of “what can we believe that assauges any and all guilt

      I read “assuages” as sausages.

      Mmmmmm, sausages….GUHHHHHHHHHHHNNHNHNHN!

    435. tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:38

      Concern troll is concerned.

      WHY do all these assholes on the TV keep talking about “the black vote” as if it were some monolithic, singular thing you can win or lose? It’s becoming quite tiresome.

    436. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:38

      actor-

      DEREGULATE WITCH HUNTS!

      We don’t need no government oversight!

    437. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:40

      You never go full Limbaugh

    438. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:42

      Instead of turkey this Thanksgiving, try some of the long pig

    439. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:44

      tsam-

      And I’m going to bet that all those assholes won’t ever tackle the real heart of the matter of why the “black vote” is as monolithic as it is.

      That is that we’ve decided on a two-party system where any vote outside is considered “wasting your vote” and one of the parties is nakedly obviously rehashing Jim Crow-era bigotry.

      Nope, it’s this big mystery that probably is just up to blacks being stupid and/or the real racists, not them going “welp, I could vote for disappointing or wants me dead, guess I’m going with disappointing again”.

      Next up, the shocking “monolithic nature” of the gay vote, the Hispanic vote, or the Muslim vote.

      But not the White vote, because that would be silly, they just have a regular old vote, because no one views them participating in democracy as an inherently underhanded tactic that needs to be stopped or controlled.

    440. Smut Clyde said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:49

      And that’s why it’s an “assault” that a non-careful Christian could eat something that has different magic spells (prayers) on it

      These are the Christians who “will pray for you” when you resist the persuasive power of their well-reasoned arguments.

    441. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:49

      Turkey frying destroys any number of homes every year in the US, helped by the fact that many fryers are used on redwood decking. Will no one think of the decking?

      Best solution I’ve seen is using a chain hoist for controlled immersion.

    442. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:50

      From actor’s link:

      Rush Limbaugh Says First Lady Was Booed Partly Because NASCAR Fans Hate Her ‘Uppityism’

      Yes, yes, you’re right. They do in fact hate Michelle Obama for her “uppityness”. In fact, that would be the root of all the hate for both Obamas in the giant racist burp that was the obsession with the Teabaggers, the hatred of this black family’s “uppityness”. For them thinking they wuz worthy of being president and having money or any of the other things that iz only for white families thats loves Jesus and all.

      Thank you Limbaugh for stating it so succinctly and nakedly as to the exact reason for all the unhinged bitterness that you and yours likes to keep stoked with the “base”.

      Also, is he losing his touch? Cause I thought he was a good enough grifter to know that “uppity” got outed as a dog whistle so long ago, that not even schoolchildren fail to know what that means.

      Guess not, either that, or he’s just stopped giving a shit about pretenses.

    443. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:51

      Smut Clyde-

      Yup.

      I believe the translation for that would be “I curse you with a hex.” But since that’s trademarked by Evil Movie Witches Incorporated, they had to go with the civil-sounding dog-whistle instead.

    444. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:51

      Turkey frying destroys any number of homes every year in the US, helped by the fact that many fryers are used on redwood decking. Will no one think of the decking?

      Funny you mention that…

    445. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:51

      I think she’s setting up the argument that there’s this secret movement to magic spell meat as muslim meat (which will infect you from the inside and won’t make you a pure Christian anymore)

      This must be the flipside of Mormons “baptizing” Holocaust victims and other dead people.

    446. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:52

      “These are the Christians who “will pray for you” when you resist the persuasive power of their well-reasoned arguments.”

      I prefer my arguments well-seasoned.

    447. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:54

      I prefer my arguments well-seasoned

      Apparently, so does UC Davis

    448. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:54

      Funny you mention that…

      Like any red-blooded Amurican is gonna take turkey frying advice from a Canadian.

    449. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:55

      Best solution I’ve seen is using a chain hoist for controlled immersion.

      What is it with you people and your fetishes? Sheesh.

    450. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:57

      Josh Marshall is just now almost but not quite noticing that the media is pushing a narrative about protest violence and ignoring the underlying message:

      So, I put this out there as an observation with only a tentative analysis and no clear prescription. But the protests and the police responses look like they’re taking on a life unto themselves with the inequality message moving somewhat into the background.

      With “new media” like this, who needs CNN?

    451. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:58

      What is it with you people and your fetishes?

      I report, you decide.

    452. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:00

      Don’t tell, but I have this thing where I like to take a part of my body and wiggle it around in another person’s body.

    453. Major Kong said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:01

      Turkey frying destroys any number of homes every year in the US

      Gallons of hot oil – check.
      Open flame – check.
      Wood structure – check.
      Alcohol consumption – check.

      I mean really, what could possibly go wrong?

    454. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:01

      I deep-fried a turkey once, I thought it was quite a hassle for little reward. The nice big stainless steel pot and propane burner were re-purposed and are now a permanent part of my brewery.

    455. Smut Clyde said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:03

      Best solution I’ve seen is using a chain hoist for controlled immersion.
      We still talking baptism?

    456. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:03

      WHY do all these assholes on the TV keep talking about “the black vote” as if it were some monolithic, singular thing you can win or lose?

      “Why,” indeed.

    457. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:04

      Don’t tell, but I have this thing where I like to take a part of my body and wiggle it around in another person’s body.

      Congressman Young?

    458. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:04

      I mean really, what could possibly go wrong?

      They haven’t made a wacky comedy called “Thanksgiving” yet, right? The only thing out there is the John Candy movie, right?

    459. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:07

      Did I really just quote and comment on my own comment? How rude.

      I think that you showed a bit of verve in so doing, also elan. WTF lets throw in some flair as well. Well played sir.

      At this point I am sure that there is a new thread, and as funny as this one is, I will never catch up…
      .

    460. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:10

      I believe the translation for that would be “I curse you with a hex.”

      I’m saying this to the next person who promises to pray for me.

    461. actor212 said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:10

      They haven’t made a wacky comedy called “Thanksgiving” yet, right? The only thing out there is the John Candy movie, right?

      There’s a few movies about T-day and the comedic possibilities (i.e. bringing the new fiancee home to meet the relatives), like Home For The Holidays.

    462. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:11

      And who knew Substance had a toe/ear thing? SICK.

    463. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:18

      Here is an actual headline:

      Obama’s Zip-a-Dee-Do-Dah Black Agenda

    464. g said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:21

      Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent.

      Is it stuffed down their throats?

    465. Pryme said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:21

      Sub,

      Their reality passed our satire years ago.

    466. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:22

      OBS-

      I know, right!

      And this is obviously not something that happens with every liberal-leaning protest throughout history where the media bends itself backwards to try and avoid talking about the issues the protestors are talking about as that would force them to actually debate the merits of those issues seriously and that would give up the game that the conservatives haven’t really had anything to bring to the table in possibly ever.

    467. Smut Clyde said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:24

      Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way
      What does one have to do to earn the privilege of the special turkey forcing?
      AFAF.

    468. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:24

      Like I am going to click that headline, Substance.

      What happened to the old days, when you’d post wholesome links to gaping anuses?

      O wait, it’s Clownhall, it IS gaping anuses.

    469. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:25

      Sub-

      I’m still waiting for them to run out of not-even-fooling themselves dog whistles for black and just go “n***er, n***er, n***er, like they want to.

      At the current rate, I’m doubting it will last through the entire 2012 election cycle. Especially since they already made a n***er scandal into a “how dare you object” scandal.

    470. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:31

      “Don’t tell, but I have this thing where I like to take a part of my body and wiggle it around in another person’s body.”

      Freak!

    471. Cerberus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:32

      Responses to Sub link:

      1) They’re not going to last the whole 2012 election before going Full Wallace.

      2) Yes, a brilliant move on part of the Republicans to ensure the economy stayed in the shitter through obstruction so you could blame it on the Democrats not fixing the economy around them. Definitely gives you nice soundbites of “with unemployment at X, Obama is a poopyhead, vote for me”. One problem. You forgot to distance yourself. You’ve now spent 3 years and probably the full 4 arguing for the rights of the rich, shitting on the jobless and openly fighting against any jobs bill you can. People are dumb, especially moderates, but way too many have been noticing that it isn’t the democrats passing their favorite bills that’s responsible for this shitstorm and really aren’t buying the shit you’re selling, especially after falling for it in 2010 and getting more of the same but worse.

      Obviously though, it won’t keep that from being their war-drum for 2012.

      But yeah, when you’re running a con, it doesn’t help to show the crowd how the con works and then loudly announce you’re running it.

    472. UKBristolDave said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:33

      This butterball thing sounds hot. How do I get involved?

    473. vacuumslayer said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:33

      zrm, I love that link cuz its one of those things where Obama absolutely CANNOT WIN. he has a black agenda? BAD! He doesn’t have a black agenda? BAD! *sigh*

    474. tigris said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:41

      Is it stuffed down their throats?

      In the south, we always dressed it down throats.

      Of course, in my world a butterball is made with butterscotch schnapps.

    475. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:45

      UKBristolDave has been awol for a while but, to his credit, brings the lulz when he shows.

    476. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:46

      This butterball thing sounds hot. How do I get involved?

      When I was in high school we’d start off with alcohol and a long game of Truth or Dairy.

    477. Aunt Acid said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:47

      The headline IS the mango. I propose, rather than a shorter, a longer version:

      Obama’s shufflin’ yassa-massa watermelon/fried chicken snoop-dog blackity-coon negro uncle Remus birthin’ no babies hip-hop sho’ nuff mammy uppity poll tax birth of a nation tar baby gangsta black panther black-eyed pea soul brutha blackblack darkie spearchucker nightfighter how-dare-you-call-us-racist black agenda.

    478. El Manquécito said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:50

      AA: I say, I mean I do believe that you left out Ole Man River and Lucky Ole Sun too, also.

    479. jim said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:52

      They’re not going to last the whole 2012 election before going Full Wallace.

      Cough?

      NOW PLAYING: PUMAs Part 2: Schizophrenic Boogaloo!

    480. Pupienus said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:56

      I believe the translation for that would be “I curse you with a hex.”

      I’m saying this to the next person who promises to pray for me.

      I usually say “That’s great – you pray for me, I’ll do the thinking for both of us.”

    481. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 22, 2011 at 23:58

      NOW PLAYING: PUMAs Part 2: Schizophrenic Boogaloo!

      Clicking that link causes severe loss of brain cells. Consider yourselves warned.

      The whole article is one glorious mango of butthurt though, I’ll give it that.

      And yes, “Glorious Mango of Butthurt” would be an excellent band name.

    482. jim said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:03

      Turnabout is fair play.

    483. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:06

      I think she’s setting up the argument that there’s this secret movement to magic spell meat as muslim meat (which will infect you from the inside and won’t make you a pure Christian anymore)

      Couple years back The Ho and I were watching some Christianist teebee show (know your enemy, he always sez) which had some nut case railing on about how the Xmas tree was a PAGAN SYMBOL and all the evil, demonic symbols people have in their homes. And it was especially awful, according to him, because people DIDN’T KNOW THEY HAD EVIL SYMBOLS IN THEIR HOMES!11!! ‘Course we larffed heartily. Sadly, lots of people believe that kind of shit. It actually goes hand in hand with theism but I don’t want to start a war with Tintin.

    484. g said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:08

      And Pupienus fires the first salvo in the War on Christmas! Bravo, comrade!

    485. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:09

      magic spell meat as muslim meat

      Know who’s casting spells? CHEERLEADERS. Ban the pom-pom, good Christians!

    486. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:15

      Ban the pom-pom, good Christians!

      My eyesight ain’t what it used to be. I read that as “porn-porn” no that can’t be right “porn-pom?” no that makes no sense (even for S McG) und so weiter.

    487. vacuumslayer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:21

      Ban pom-poms? I strenuously object.

    488. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:26

      And it was especially awful, according to him, because people DIDN’T KNOW THEY HAD EVIL SYMBOLS IN THEIR HOMES!11!!

      Like books by Richard Dawkins

    489. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:27

      Ban pom-poms? I strenuously object.

      That reminds me. I’m out of asswipes.

    490. Smut Clyde said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:31

      people DIDN’T KNOW THEY HAD EVIL SYMBOLS IN THEIR HOMES!11!!

      If you don’t want evil cymbals in the house you shouldn’t let your teenage son buy a drumkit.

    491. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:39

      Best solution I’ve seen is using a chain hoist for controlled immersion.

      Good god. I’ve been frying those things for years.

      DRY BIRD. LOWER SLOWLY.

      I’ve never hurt myself or anyone else doing it. You have to be pretty fucking dumb to start a fire or hurt yourself with those things.

    492. Smut Clyde said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:43

      And it was especially awful, according to him, because people DIDN’T KNOW THEY HAD EVIL SYMBOLS IN THEIR HOMES!11!!

      It is almost as if the Christianity espoused by many people is a magical-thinking world-view in which words have magical power regardless of any belief in them, and their side claims to have more powerful spells than all the other sides.

    493. Thread Bear said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:45

      Ban pom-poms? I strenuously object.

      I went to a very small high school and played on the basketball team. Most of the other schools in our class were Christian schools. One of them had cheerleaders with skirts down to the ankles and after the first time we played them they asked us not to bring our cheerleaders to their school again. It seems our cheerleadres were way to risque.

    494. Cerberus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:46

      Holy Fuckballs! Just got off the phone with PG&E and I swear my interaction with them demonstrates not only the bullshit of “Durrr, more money and less regulation means more innovation and savvy”, but also just how much PG&E really don’t give a fuck about anything since they have monopoly status.

      Basically, shit got stolen, tried to resolve the situation on PG&E site, stop payments, couldn’t, decided to deal with it when new checks and account information came in, bank delayed for forever because “who uses checks anymore” is apparently their motto. Meanwhile the autopay freaked out and bounced itself stupid against a rock and triggered a “penalty box” for “bounced checks” despite no checks passing hands.

      Calling the company, they had no way of interpreting how their own system worked, what an e-system was, how to understand their own resolution system, had no system to resolve things so I could, you know, pay them, nor any ability to process the fact that they were wasting billions by having an e-system that was completely out of whack with industry practices.

      The solution? I am required to use a less secure system with far greater effort and cost on their part instead of a more secure and reliable system that is more beneficial and guaranteed for their benefit because they have no functional policy for direct resolution nor an ability to understand how “direct access to a secured bank account with confirmation with bank” differs from “personal check”.

      I have never so thoroughly encountered a group of people so deliberately and purposeful braindead and self-defeating by direct orders and training and I’ve encountered some pretty high level stupidity with other monopolistic companies.

      The irony is that the system I was yelling at them was a stupid one is one I would have loved to have online minus the calling them up, what with it only requiring card number and all.

      Downside?

      They have no system for informing the customer that this is the only means of payment, thus ensuring they get at least one bounced check a month from people already behind.

      Why, you might say, that sounds like a cynical and most likely illegal attempt to fleece the poor through poor business practices!

      And I think we just found out why they have a complete dysfunctional system at least 15 years out of date.

    495. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:46

      It is almost as if the Christianity espoused by many people is a magical-thinking world-view in which words have magical power regardless of any belief in them, and their side claims to have more powerful spells than all the other sides.

      Naw, people couldnt’ possibly be that st00pid, right? Right?!?!? OMFG We’re doomed.

    496. Cerberus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:52

      And fucknuggets if interacting with business after business with openly illegal business practices who know they’re never going to get called to the carpet doesn’t make me even more respectful to the rule of law and being a good little peon.

      My god, I’m so respectful, I want them to have even less regulation and investigation so they can be even more blatantly criminal without reprecussion. That’ll make me think twice about even jaywalking!

    497. John Revolta said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:55

      tsam said,

      November 22, 2011 at 22:17

      The comments are Comedy Gold!

    498. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:56

      Thread needs moar POOP.

    499. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:56

      Most of the other schools in our class were Christian schools. One of them had cheerleaders with skirts down to the ankles and after the first time we played them they asked us not to bring our cheerleaders to their school again.

      A former boss (great guy) played basketball in college in an athletic conference that included Oral Roberts University. He said the ORU cheerleaders were always painfully sexy. One of God’s little jokes, I guess.

    500. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 0:59

      Gawd, I leave for ten hours of cooking, and the thread is hyoooouge.

      actor, I roast the duck by saying unkind things about its mother while I stuff leftover apples in its body cavity. I have also made game pie, roasted parsnips and turnips, a thing called banbury tarts, which are essentially mince pies in a modified form, and alas, all of it is being used to show the punters at Jamestown how the English didn’t actually celebrate Thanksgiving. Only a small part of it will be eaten, the rest will be prodded by schoolchildren and adults with poor impulse control.

      For two days, I’m going to be dressed in ye olde englishe clothinge, telling people all about how in the old days, people wiped their asses with sticks, punctuated by the occasional shriek from someone who’s never actually seen a live chicken before, and is suddenly making the connection between that running thing with feathers and last night’s dinner.

      Believe it or not, it’s great fun. And a totally awesome way to spend a holiday that marks the start of the genocide and cultural destruction of untold numbers of Native American tribes. A few years ago, we got to meet the Prince of Denmark, and his brother, the Pretender to the Throne. He was very polite as he was being shown all the replica armor in the fort, especially considering, as his “handler” said to my husband, “he’s got the real thing at home”.

    501. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:00

      Also–DO NOT attempt to cook a bird larger than 15lbs in those standard fryers. That’s one mistake rookies make that causes a flood of flaming oil.

    502. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:04

      My information on fried turkeys was that the idiots try to fry them from frozen, which results in a truly wonderful cloud of steam and oil droplets, which immediately catch fire.

      I watch Mythbusters too much.

    503. pedestrian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:07

      My parents forbade Christmas trees because of the whole pagan thing. They also didn’t allow any books or movies with magic in them (basically anything Disney was out).

      I didn’t think about how silly this was until years later, when I realized that their objection to the Little Mermaid was that octopus sorceresses might actually exist and that I would be tempted to choose that as a career goal.

    504. vacuumslayer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:08

      Also–DO NOT attempt to cook a bird larger than 15lbs in those standard fryers.

      So you’re saying I should not put Jeff Goldblum or Shelley Duvall in my fryer?

    505. vacuumslayer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:09

      I watch Mythbusters too much.

      I think it always speaks well of a person if s/he likes Mythbusters. Could Jaime and Adam be any cuter? And Carey and Tory and Grant? ADORBS. The whole gang.

    506. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:10

      Attention spelling Nazis! Stand up for your Hitler!

      And those progressive agents are at it again right now in the series of GOP presidential debates. Does anyone really believe questions coming from MSM moderators aren’t ultimately asked to trip up the candidates and then elevate and orchestrate the re-election of their furor?

    507. Anonymous said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:10

      OT: Tee hee hee.

    508. pedestrian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:11

      One of them had cheerleaders with skirts down to the ankles

      Yes, but that Jenny Daniels has shoes that leave nothing to the imagination. I CAN SEE YOUR TOE LENGTH, WHORE!!!

    509. El Manquécito said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:12

      While the lame-stream media continues to bang the gong of Darwin award turkey fryers everywhere, my personal anecdata is that all the home deep fried turkeys I’ve had were excellent. n = 6

    510. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:22

      I think it always speaks well of a person if s/he likes Mythbusters.

      Even zombies?

    511. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:25

      Could Jaime and Adam be any cuter? And Carey and Tory and Grant? ADORBS. The whole gang.

      I miss Scottie.

    512. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:33

      Could Jaime and Adam be any cuter?

      I have the hots for everyone on that show. I even watch Head Rush (which is essentially a repeat of some old Mythbusters episode with some extra bits thown in) on G4 because of Carrie. But I looooooove Jamie and his awesome ‘stache. I have such a thing for facial hair.

      (And I want Jamie’s sunglasses!)

    513. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:36

      I miss Scottie.

      I do too – I never saw why we couldn’t have two female mini-mythers – and I remember there being some nasty rumours going ’round when she left, but I think it turned out that she wasn’t as into the talking stuff as Carrie, and I think she still works for Jamie, doesn’t she? I seem to feel like I see her in the background in some episodes, sometimes.

    514. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:40

      I seem to feel like I see her in the background in some episodes, sometimes.

      According to teh wackypedia, she was last in a special in 2009, but take that for what it’s worth.

    515. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:42

      So you’re saying I should not put Jeff Goldblum or Shelley Duvall in my fryer?

      You can, but you must cook them in 15lb pieces.

      Daffy Duck would fit nicely. Donald also, too. I think.

    516. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:43

      If you only have time for one cute cat pixel today, make it this one.
      .

    517. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:45

      So, all those steaks come from females? Is that correct? All cows are female? Fair warning— I’m feeling very fragile right now.

    518. El Manquécito said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:47

      I’m feeling very fragile right now.

      If the word “steer” doesn’t mean much to you, you might want to investigate this later.

    519. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:48

      If you only have time for one cute cat pixel today, make it this one.

      If you have time for moar, check these out.

    520. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:54

      Here you go Wiley…

      In the first paragraph, first link:

      Beef is the culinary name for meat from bovines, especially domestic cattle. Beef can be harvested from cows, bulls, heifers or steers

    521. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 1:59

      I watch Mythbusters too much.

      I didn’t think that was possible.

    522. Lt John Pike said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:05

      I don’t always overcompensate for my big fat ass and belly and embarassingly small penis.

      But when I do, I use pepperspray on kids.

    523. pedestrian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:15

      The veal calves can sometimes be fried whole, if they are especially undernourished.

    524. Anonymous said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:18

      Some comedy involving Sarah Palin and Roger Ayles:

      http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/report-sarah-palin-scolded-roger-ailes-over-2012-201616644.html

      (Hope WP doesn’t eat it this time.)

    525. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:37

      The Angry Drunk. And Kari Byron is a fucking goddess.

    526. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:38

      Live blog tonight

      Yep. Another clown car rodeo.
      ~

    527. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:38

      Stupit tags. I blame Romney.
      ~

    528. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 2:56

      This is an epic thread – too many good comments and links to count.

      I’m all excited because today I met with the graphics guy for my newest catalog & the packaging design for my cookie mix which I’m gonna start producing (hopefully) in April. I plan on selling at the farmer’s market through the summer when I don’t have fundraising sales going on, then putting it in the fall catalog. And gradually, expanding it to include more varieties (I’m starting with the world-famous better-than-crack oatmeal chocolate chip). I’m not making money – yet – but I’m at least seeing a point in the not-too-distant future where I will be.

    529. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:04

      Her mangos are rather desperate. I haven’t dared look into the tigers in the forest, as I damn well know what Breivik-shaped beasts lurk there.

      A few distractions along the way, but thanks Cerberus, for bringing what you done brung, I think I’ll stay on the boat this time.

      Actor, by the time I got to, or missed whatever human centipede ref made above….something regarding the stabbing of pre-frontal cortex….blorp.
      .

    530. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:06

      This is an epic thread – too many good comments and links to count.

      Agreed! I am still trying to catch up. finally made it to my first comments.

      Back upstairs…..
      .

    531. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:11

      One of them had cheerleaders with skirts down to the ankles

      Like that’s a rarity after homecoming. The trick is to find one still wearing a skirt.

    532. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:15

      Could Jaime and Adam be any cuter? And Carey and Tory and Grant? ADORBS. The whole gang.

      EXCEPT the perky twee li’l hipster who subbed for Kari while she was on maternity leave. Almost made me stop watching.

    533. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:16

      Actor, by the time I got to, or missed whatever human centipede ref made above….something regarding the stabbing of pre-frontal cortex….blorp.

      My work here is done

    534. vacuumslayer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:26

      Deener update: I made Asian sticky wings with a reduced soy, honey, garlic, ginger, sesame,lime glaze.

      As as side I sauteed some onions, garlic, Chinese cabbage & shitake mushrooms in some sesame oil, chicken broth, brown sugar and soy sauce, then threw in some leftover spaghetti noodles.

      Everything was spectacular.

    535. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:27

      EXCEPT the perky twee li’l hipster who subbed for Kari while she was on maternity leave. Almost made me stop watching.

      I admit, she was a little tiresome. I think it was because she was trying to imitate Kari, and it wasn’t authentic at all. Meh.

    536. pedestrian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:28

      Herman Cain just called Wolf Blitzer “Blitz”

    537. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:34

      I admit, she was a little tiresome. I think it was because she was trying to imitate Kari, and it wasn’t authentic at all. Meh.

      No, I’ve seen her on Overhaulin’ before that—she’s pretty much the same. I didn’t mind her. She’s no Kari, but then who is?

    538. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:37

      Herman Cain just called Wolf Blitzer “Blitz”

      That man is a credit to my race!!!

      Mythbusters is OK, but I really miss Junkyard Wars even though the Host’s and Hostesses annoyed the crap out of me most of the time.

      The episode where three teams (USA, Brits, and French) build airplanes over the course of two days was freaking awesome.
      .

    539. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:44

      No, I’ve seen her on Overhaulin’ before that—she’s pretty much the same.

      Wow. Okay, I take back the “imitating” charge, but wow. I’m probably being unfair because I love Kari, but… wow.

    540. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:47

      Suddenly, I’ve got this image of Jamie and Adam inviting Tabitha (of Tabitha’s Salon Take Over) on Mythbusters.

      Hilarity ensues.

    541. address my envelope, lips! said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:51

      Suddenly, I’ve got this image of Jamie and Adam inviting Tabitha (of Tabitha’s Salon Take Over) on Mythbusters

      omg. WANT.

    542. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:54

      A former boss (great guy) played basketball in college in an athletic conference that included Oral Roberts University. He said the ORU cheerleaders were always painfully sexy. One of God’s little jokes, I guess.

      Is it wrong of me to expect the real joke about ORU cheerleaders is they suck at oral?

    543. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:57

      Some comedy involving Sarah Palin and Roger Ayles

      Palin pulled off one of the greatest scams in our political history. How much money does she have in her PAC, which she now can spend on herself?

    544. pedestrian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 3:59

      Santorum: “[Before the Bush Administration] Africa was a country on the brink of meltdown and takeover by radical Islamists”

    545. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:06

      Santorum: “[Before the Bush Administration] Africa was a country on the brink of meltdown and takeover by radical Islamists”

      GIve him a break. Maybe he thinks Iraq is in Africa.

    546. Pryme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:08

      Palin pulled off one of the greatest scams in our political history.

      Only because they allowed her to fleece the people. Anyone who was paying attention pretty much knew she was transitioning from actual politician to political celebrity.

    547. Pryme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:11

      GIve him a break. Maybe he thinks Iraq is in Africa.

      Well they share some of the same letters. Close enough!

    548. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:12

      Only because they allowed her to fleece the people

      You mean the people who allowed themselves to be fleeced. Tough tit.

    549. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:14

      They’ve already done the only question Heritage and the AEI really care about: Bomb Iran, or Nuke Iran?
      ~

    550. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:14

      Suddenly, I’ve got this image of Jamie and Adam inviting Tabitha (of Tabitha’s Salon Take Over) on Mythbusters.

      Hilarity ensues.

      Only if they casually pepperspray her. Even better, get that fucking prick Gordon Ramsey on there and nail them both.

      I’m fed the hell up with people thinking that being a fucking insufferable asshole = good leadership. Neither of these pricks deserves one shred of respect. They’re nothing but dicks.

    551. Bitter Scribe said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:19

      I’m fed the hell up with people thinking that being a fucking insufferable asshole = good leadership.

      I got forced out of a decent stay-at-home job by someone like that. I bet my former boss never misses an episode of Asshole Chef or whatever they call that thing Ramsey is on.

    552. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:28

      Everything was spectacular

      Geez, ask for advice and then ignore it. thanx. Anywho, glad it went well. Freedom from Buffalo monoculture is the only thing that really matters.

      re: deep-frying turkeys

      The tips vid hits on all the important points. One extra tip – how do you know if you’ve overfilled wth oil? Personally, I love my birds moist so I brine ‘em. In the frying pot. After the bird comes out of the brine, I measure down to the brine level to see how much head space to leave. Easy peasy.

      Starting with cold oil, you can deep-fry a fifteen pound bird in an hour and a half. It is remarkably tasty and not greasy at all. I’m told the sekrit is temperature control – never letting the oil drop below sime critical point. I don’t know since I’ve never had a bird turn out badly.

    553. rodert rudis said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:41

      Are the Republicans having like 46 debates or what? Haven’t they had time enough to cover all the issues, Defense, God, Illegals, and Taxes? What? What did I leave out? Oh, Gay Marriage! Perry really is an idiot isn’t he? And Cain, what a hoot. He’s really why I’m watching this debate, he cracks me up. Cain: “Okay, first, number one, I wouldn’t wait a minute longer. Two, these things are difficult and require hard work. And number four, I’d throw them all out.”

    554. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:45

      One extra tip – how do you know if you’ve overfilled wth oil?

      The fryers are made to hold precisely 3 gallons (take THAT METRIC SYSTEM) of peanut oil. If you have a bird that’s 15 lbs (take THAT METRIC SYSTEM) or less, it will not overflow.

      Tip 1: Dry bird.
      Tip 2: RTFM.
      Tip 3: Get a syringe, inject all the butter the meat will hold (Alternatively, there are a bunch of different flavored sauces available if you don’t want just plain butter)
      Tip 4: Lower the bird in SLOWLY
      Tip 5: Stay close and monitor the fryer
      Tip 6: Monitor the temperature of the oil–it needs to stay as close to 350° as possible. Overheating will ruin everything.
      Tip 7: Cook the bird to exactly 160°.

      You don’t need to engineer a hoist system. Your time is better spent eating crackers and cheese and watching football.

      This only takes around an hour to cook, so time the cooking accordingly.

    555. sparks said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:50

      I report at length on the meat industry’s halal scandal: its established practice of not separating halal meat from non-halal meat, and not labeling halal meat as such.

      It’s meat miscegenation, I tells ya!

    556. Anonymous said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:53

      Never deep-fried a turkey.

      I HAVE stir-fried turkey breast/thighs. Kung Pao Turkey with Pumpkin Seeds makes for a nifty Asian-fusion Thanksgiving main course.

    557. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:54

      it will not overflow.

      How much oil do you add? Plus you can’t always get exactly the same sized bird every time. Personally, I find it easier to just measure the brine head space. If you’re not brining, you could just do water displacement.

      Also too, what about the oil? Returned to the jugs it came in for use in another frying. You want to do this draining because you end up with burnt crumbly bits that will sink to the bottom of yout oil.

      But totes – dry the turkey. Don’t spend too much time dicking around with some sort of fancy hoost or splash guard or wev. Turn the flame off when adding the bird. Best done slightly drunk but not totally shit-faced.

    558. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:56

      And those progressive agents are at it again right now in the series of GOP presidential debates. Does anyone really believe questions coming from MSM moderators aren’t ultimately asked to trip up the candidates and then elevate and orchestrate the re-election of their furor?

      And worst of all, those goddamn lieberal lamestream moderators only allowed audience questions from liberal gotcha mongers like Marc Thiessen and David Addington!

    559. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:56

      NEWS FLASH!

      Politician takes a meaningful, principled stand for something not completely stupid.

    560. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:57

      re: headspace.

      Leave some freeboard. Even a well dried turkey will be shooting steam off something fierce during the cooking and your oil will bubble like crazy. Three or four inches is a pretty good target.

    561. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 4:58

      How much oil do you add? Plus you can’t always get exactly the same sized bird every time. Personally, I find it easier to just measure the brine head space. If you’re not brining, you could just do water displacement.

      The boxes that contain the oil have exactly 3 gallons in them. I just dump the whole thing in there and make DAMN SURE that bird does not exceed 15lbs. That has worked every year for the last 10 years. I will say that your displacement measurement is a smart idea for those of us who aren’t a little…shall we say, lazy?

    562. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 5:00

      Those of YOU, I should say. I’m not the most careful or diligent turkey frier in the whole wide world.

    563. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 5:03

      Anyway, using the box and a standard sized commercially available fryer (rather than making your own out of something else, which is how the rednecks started the whole trend), leaves about 6″ of empty pot.

      It does splatter a little, and you do get a few pinpoint sized burns on your hand when lowering it and trying to fish it out of there, but it seems to work just fine.

    564. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 5:03

      Just call me old fashioned but I just roast the damn bird and save myself a trip to the burn ward.

    565. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 5:05

      Also too, Desert Bus for Hope V underway and already over $200K.

    566. N__B said,

      November 23, 2011 at 6:07

      Me, I have a…record. A very bad record.

      I hear this in the voice of Dougie Houser from Starship Troopers: “I’m looking for a different kind of bug…a smart bug.”

    567. Hogeye Grex said,

      November 23, 2011 at 6:44

      I’m not really big on the genre, but I can’t be the only mildly dyslexic person to have raised an eyebrow when first seeing this name.

    568. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 6:45

      I’m a bit weird, I guess, because I don’t care for fried or brined birds. Everyone touts their “juicyness” but turkey is supposed to be a bit drier than other meats, at least that’s my preference. Not dried out as in overcooked, but drier than say, chicken. In any case, what’s always worked just great for me is to roast the bird, breast facing down, for most of the cooking time, then take it out and flip it over and let it cook breast up for the last 30 – 45 minutes. The natural juices flow down into the breast for most of the time it’s cooking, and the last 30 – 45 minutes browns the breast quite nicely. I’ve never had one come out bad doing them this way.

    569. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

      November 23, 2011 at 8:23

      My protein contribution this year is grilled duck legs with a raspberry-chipotle marinade and baste, accompanied by wild-rice dressing and some proletarian braised collard greens.

      The insanely great kabocha squash pie with ginger caramel sauce is a go as well, if all goes well.

    570. M. Bouffant said,

      November 23, 2011 at 8:47

      And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

      Best use of “valuing, saving, preserving, & other yada yada our freedoms” so far this yr. At this point you can only figure she’s trying to scare Butterball into giving her money, a free case of giblets or all the spare change under the cushions in the conference room to keep her from starting this shit earlier & louder next yr.

      No “Ahem.s” if any one else was as clever earlier. Been busy halal-ing turkeys on the balcony & haven’t had time to read the whole mess. (Whole lot of invoking if you want to get it right every time.)

    571. M. Bouffant said,

      November 23, 2011 at 8:57

      The Great Waldo Pepperspray

      This coupon may be redeemed for half an Internet.

    572. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 23, 2011 at 9:40

      Ahhh. So cows don’t have a penis. A cow has a vagina and a clitoris. So, here’s my correction:

      I’m assuming that the non-halal methods don’t involve giving cows Demerol and eating them out before killing them.

      I know this is going to sound weird, but somehow that sounds more disgusting to me than giving a bovine critter a blow-job.

    573. Butterball Employee #112-344343 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 10:12

      She wants us to do WHAT to the Turkey?

    574. Butterball Employee #112-293455 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 10:18

      Get this. “Remove the giblets, stretch the wings out and suspend the Turkey between two poles.Bind the legs together with leather straps, spank the Turkey while calling it names, and finally ejaculate all over it while screaming, “OH GOD, I LOVE FUCKING TURKEYS!!”

    575. Butterball Employee #112-344343 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 10:19

      Holy Shit!!

      WHY?

    576. M. Bouffant said,

      November 23, 2011 at 10:22

      Spanking the turkey?

    577. M. Bouffant said,

      November 23, 2011 at 10:27

      Another M. B. has written a book, & provided an example of Dunning-Kruger in action.

      [S]omething she writes early in the book: “When I say something wrong, I’m hard on myself, because I’m trying to communicate information accurately. I’ve learned the hard way at the national level that any erroneous statement will very quickly be magnified. So, as someone who talks for a living, I’ve learned to check, double-check, and triple-check my sources. And yet I still make a mistake or two!”

    578. Butterball Employee #112-293455 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 10:30

      OH GOD, I LOVE FUCKING TURKEYS!!

      oof hrm, ahh, apparently, we’re Gellerizing the Turkey.

    579. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:04

      OT (OccupyToronto) – Cops mobilizing now.

    580. John Revolta said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:20

      I’m assuming that the non-halal methods don’t involve giving cows Demerol and eating them out before killing them.

      I know this is going to sound weird, but somehow that sounds more disgusting to me than giving a bovine critter a blow-job

      Sounds to ME like you’re a little homooophobic.

    581. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:28

      Just call me old fashioned but I just roast the damn bird and save myself a trip to the burn ward.

      Really? Do you use hand lotion? Cuz I find…

      Oh, you’re talking turkey.

    582. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:29

      how do you know if you’ve overfilled wth oil?

      Dipstick?

    583. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:30

      Sounds to ME like you’re a little homophobic.

      *polite golf clap*

      Nicely played, sir!

      Martini?

    584. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:32

      Now singing Auld Lang Syne. LEAF SUCK PD is tardy with their 4 AM raid.

    585. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:42

      Sounds to ME like you’re a little homophobic.

      Hee hee, someone’s autocorrect is overzealous.

      OT – Livestream needed rebooting just after curfew lifted. It’s up again and things are eerily, creepily quiet.

    586. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:49

      Paddy wagon just rolled out. Reports were that they had three buses set up in different staging areas.

    587. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 12:59

      Cruisers have been sitting on Adelaide for a while yet. They have a mobile HQ truck deployed. Medics have been prepped for the engagement. And still bupkes. Looks like LEAFS SUCK PD is waiting for rush hour before moving in. Or something.

      Fuck it, Imma make me some breakfast.

    588. jim said,

      November 23, 2011 at 13:08

      PSA FYI ZOMG

    589. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 13:27

      Okay, they’re finally moving into the park. Stay safe Occupiers!

    590. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 23, 2011 at 14:00

      Homoophobia?! Really?! You think I’m afraid to— I can’t do this with a straight face— nevermind.

    591. John Revolta said,

      November 23, 2011 at 14:18

      Hey, if the mooo fits……………….

    592. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 23, 2011 at 14:54

      As the First Nations can attest, LEAFS SUCK never uses excess force…

      oh wait…

    593. vacuumslayer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:01

      Geez, ask for advice and then ignore it. thanx. Anywho, glad it went well. Freedom from Buffalo monoculture is the only thing that really matters.

      I actually I didn’t ignore advice, taking into account stuff both you and kg said to me about making glazes/ratios/etc. I wanted to do the marinating thing, but didn’t find the time.

      When I told Mr. Slayer we were NOT having Buffalo wings, he genuinely seemed butthurt…then admitted the sticky wings were delicious. Ha! Victory is mine.

    594. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:04

      As the First Nations can attest, LEAFS SUCK never uses excess force,,,

      Actually,,, I am as surprised by this as anyone, but it’s been totally peaceful. Although the police prepped officers in riot gear, those cops did not enter the park. It’s been only the regular uniformed guys. Looks like they waited as long as they did specifically so that it would not be a pre-dawn raid and so that they would not have to deal with the fact that the park was Occupied after curfew.

      Looks like our police forces can learn. This is the exact opposite response as G20.

      And it is working. As HM pointed out, Canuckistanis are powerless against polite requests. Most of the remaining protestors are packing up and leaving. In the light of the reasonableness of the police response, the protestors have started packing up the library yurt – what was going to be the Last Stand.

      I’m disappointed to see the encampment dismantled and judge Brown’s decision is a ridiculous affront to democracy – but for the first time in a long long while, I am not ashamed of my local police force.

    595. kg said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:15

      Hogeye Grex said,
      November 23, 2011 at 6:44

      Bellator Fighting, that’s spoonerism I’d like to avoid.

    596. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:16

      Correction – the Last Stand yurt is still up and Occupied. It was a different yurt that was voluntarily packed up by the protestors. So the possibility of conflict still exists. We’ll see what happens in the next few hours.

    597. Bigby said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:30

      As a WASP through and through who has relatives going back to the Mayflower, I wonder what Pammycakes is even doing celebrating Thanksgiving. I don’t spin a dreidel or attend a seder…unless I’m invited.

      Who invited her?

      Next she’ll try to tell me I’m not on her ‘side’ in the War on Christmas, then where’d I be?

    598. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:38

      Next she’ll try to tell me I’m not on her ‘side’ in the War on Christmas, then where’d I be?

      Setting up the “War on Christmas Machine Gun nests™*” of course.

      Come on people!

      *WOCMGN gag attributes to my old friend Tena
      .

    599. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:38

      Canuckistanis are powerless against polite requests.

      “Leave or I’ll ask you to leave again, eh?”

    600. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:39

      I know this is going to sound weird, but somehow that sounds more disgusting to me than giving a bovine critter a blow-job.

      Hm…Don’t ever take your computer to a repair shop.

      LOL–no, that didn’t sound weird at all

    601. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:40

      600!

    602. tigris said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:41

      Remove the giblets, stretch the wings out and suspend the Turkey between two poles.

      Write Butterball and politely but firmly demand your turkeys be crucified… FOR FREEDOM!

    603. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:41

      Provider – I haven’t seen Tena around for quite some time. I tried to recruit her as a Sadly regular, but she has never frequented this place. For a while I would run into her over at TPM; then she posted quite a bit at Greg Sargent’s WaPo blog, but for the past year or so I’ve not seen her anywhere. Another fine commenter who wasn’t good enough for Big Blue Baby.

    604. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:42

      Last Stand yurt

      That sounds so….weird. Like someone forgot the “og”

      (and yes, I know what a yurt is. Mongoloids run in my family)

    605. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:43

      Remove the giblets, stretch the wings out and suspend the Turkey between two poles.

      Will two Bulgarians be a good substitute?

    606. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:44

      Canuckistanis are powerless against polite requests.

      “Leave or I’ll ask you to leave again, eh?”

      Their idea of pepper spray is to sprinkle some black pepper on your nose

    607. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:44

      Leave or I’ll ask you to leave again, eh?

      More or less. The most offensive thing the police has done so far is they made announcements through an amplification system. LEAFS SUCK PD scored a handful of LRAD’s for G20, but it was being used in loudspeaker mode. They did this once or twice right at the beginning of the “raid” and then were convinced to use the Peoples Mic instead. Not joking.

      Original deadline to clear the yurts was 9AM, but the library yurt is still being defended. OTOH, there are enough remaining tents and stuff that the clean-up crews already have plenty to do.

      0 arrests. 0 injuries. 0 deployments of “food products, essentially.”

    608. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:45

      BTW, I sure wish I could find the post HTML did several years ago, I believe regarding his trip to Denver for the DNC convention? Anyway, he describes running into the big A and pretending to be overcome with awe, like A was some huge star and he was a star-fucker. It was HIGHlarious.

    609. Mike Czech said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:50

      Meanwhile, some guy apparently just cured tooth decay.

      The findings from the small-scale study are published in the current edition of the international dental journal Caries Research.
      “With this new antimicrobial technology, we have the prospect of actually wiping out tooth decay in our lifetime,” said Shi, who noted that this work may lay the foundation for developing additional target-specific “smart bomb” antimicrobials to combat other diseases.

      Definitely not a pro-jobs move, dude.

    610. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:54

      Provider – I haven’t seen Tena around for quite some time.

      Jennifer, I last saw her at Bag News Notes, but didn’t connect. Just sent her an email, something I should have done awhile ago, informing her that I have stolen her Machine gun nest gag, and that I miss her voice.

      I should try to see if I can dig up that thread cause when I first read that, I nearly crapped my pants and destroyed thousands of dollars of electronic equipment. Thankfully I followed my rule of swallowing whatever you have poted prior to reading.

      If she gets back to me I will tell her that you were thinking about her as well.
      .

    611. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:54

      Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRrISZAF7lo&feature=related

    612. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 16:59

      Will two Bulgarians be a good substitute?

      Are you sure that you didn’t mean Vulgarians? ’cause that is how it read when I initially saw it…Am I making up words now…

      Anyone up for some French Toast…Made with cranberry bread?
      .

    613. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:03

      “Vulgarians” has a long (well, 2 decades, anyway) and storied history. It was part of Spy magazine’s immortal description of Donald Trump: “short-fingered vulgarian, Donald Trump…”

    614. Arakasi said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:10

      A friend of mine lost her two cats to an apartment fire after some idiot decided to deep fry a turkey on his 3′x5′ balcony. I’ve had a deep-seated animosity against those fryers ever since

    615. Mike Czech said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:11

      Their idea of pepper spray is to sprinkle some black pepper on your nose

      “‘There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup!’ Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.

      There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment’s pause.” -L. Carroll

    616. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:14

      “Vulgarians” has a long (well, 2 decades, anyway) and storied history. It was part of Spy magazine’s immortal description of Donald Trump: “short-fingered vulgarian, Donald Trump…”

      That is a wonderful neologism, and what is amusing to at least me is the reminder that during a rehearsal with the last band I was in I tried to inadvertantly rewrite Devo’s Gut feeling. A memory inspired by S. cerevisiae’s link. It also happened in a previous band channelling a baseline from a song from Nirvana’s first album…In any event I am enjoying the trip down memory lane and now that I think about it the last time I saw the word was the last time you meantioned that trump quote, either here or at Roy’s place.

      Just so you know Jen, You have always been one of my favorite people on the internets.

      /Blowing kisses
      :)
      .

    617. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:19

      This french toast is gonna be made before any of the west coast gourmands are likely to respond…And of course French Toast isn’t exactly Rocket Science…And I don’t have shaved almonds, or vanilla extract..But I am curious as to any variations on the theme that any of the Foodie-Nauts might have regarding SurrenderMonkeyToast.

      TIA

      xoxox,
      k
      .

    618. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:19

      Definitely not a pro-jobs move, dude.

      Yer kidding, right? We can expand the all-volunteer army and declare war on Ahmadinejad’s teeth! That’s 32 new war theatres alone!

    619. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:20

      Definitely not a pro-jobs move, dude.

      Oh, and obligatory….DENTISTRY IS THEFT!

      (as is dentitstry…)

    620. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:21

      “Vulgarians” has a long (well, 2 decades, anyway) and storied history

      Four.

      Spy published in the 1980s.

    621. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:22

      Errrr, three, and the 90s. ::blush::

    622. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:24

      Hey! I was right! It WAS the 80s!

      And the first known use of “vulgarian”

      Also

    623. Suezboo said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:24

      Just seconding Provider’s praise, Jennifer. Another admirer.

    624. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:28

      Okay, cops back on the LRAD. A lot of protestors have vacated, but fresh folks have arrived – some from teh Unions to assist with packing up. Library yurt and the gazebo that served to centre the General Assembly still Occupied. Dispersal order has been read repeatedly – the group in St James park have no been declared an unlawful assembly.

    625. sparks said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:31

      Another fine commenter who wasn’t good enough for Big Blue Baby.

      I’m not good enough either, yet I still do it.

    626. Thread Bear said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:43

      OT for D-KW, If the LEAFSUCK where does that leave my Lightning?

    627. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:49

      Just so you know Jen, You have always been one of my favorite people on the internets.

      Just seconding Provider’s praise, Jennifer. Another admirer.

      It took 30 long years, but I finally made it. I always wanted to be Homecoming Queen!

    628. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:50

      ,,,where does that leave my Lightning?

      With two playoff seasons moar than teh Leafs since lockout.

    629. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:54

      The country of Vulgaria was introduced to the world at large in the 1968 travel film Chitty chitty Bang Bang. The locals would of course be Vulgarians.

    630. El Manquécito said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:54

      Unlawful Assembly is a good band name.

    631. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:55

      Seriously though thank you.

      I just wish everyone wanted to talk about my cookies. (not a V-anything-R)

    632. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 17:56

      The locals would of course be Vulgarians.

      Did they have ridiculous hair?

    633. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:01

      I always wanted to be Homecoming Queen!

      I think the line forms behind Poops

    634. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:01

      Speaking of….

      POOP

    635. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:03

      A gag record from 1967 or ’68 was “Star Trip—Aboard the Starship Intercourse”. One of “Mr. Smock’s” lines was “As you know, I am a Vulgarian and am incapable of emotion.” I’ve been using “Vulgarian” for “Vulcan” ever since.

      Also what the crewmembers told Captain Cork during the mutiny: “Up your asteroid, Captain Cork!” “Yeah, in your nebula!”

    636. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:05

      Jen, If yer still around, just heard from Tena. She is well and has other things intruding on what used to be her internet time. I told her that you said hey and expressed that you missed her presence.

      I had not expected such a quick reply and basically wolfed the second piece of toast so i could reply.

      BTW, for those of you keeping score at home, the first course of SurrenderMonkeyToast™ was the BoMb!!!!

      .

    637. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:07

      Ivanna Trump was a short fingered vulvarian

    638. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:08

      It took 30 long years, but I finally made it. I always wanted to be Homecoming Queen!

      This. Right. Here.

      I think my watch fell under the bleachers…Wanna help me find it?

      ;)
      .

    639. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:08

      where does that leave my Lightning?

      Behind my Wild, heh heh.

    640. smedley said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:09

      “The locals would of course be Vulgarians.

      Did they have ridiculous hair?”

      Surely it would be growing in awkward places.

    641. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:13

      The OED:

      A vulgar person; freq., a well-to-do or rich person of vulgar manners.

      1809 M. Edgeworth Ennui xvii, in Tales Fashionable Life I. 344 The man is married, to some vulgarian, of course.

      1821 L. Hunt Indicator No. 66 (1822) II. 106 You are thought little better than a vulgarian.

      1853 E. Bulwer-Lytton My Novel II. v. ix. 46 Did you not marry a low creature—a vulgarian—a tradesman’s daughter?

      1888 Athenæum 21 July 93/1 One of the most repulsive vulgarians we have ever met with out of real life.

    642. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:18

      PENIS*

      *VPR¹

      ¹Read the story

    643. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:20

      The OED:

      Verily, thou ƒucketh

    644. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:27

      Pennsylvania may be safely back in Democratic hands in 2012

    645. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_BarbariansBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:30

      From actor’s link:

      At 6ft5ins tall, Carl is just two inches shorter than beanpole Stoke striker Peter Crouch.

      Aside from the numerous opportunities for inuendi, the graphic presented represents the height of both men at 6’5″. Also, too:

      “I’ve already bedded more than 30 women.

      “The ladies only want me for one thing. At this stage of my life, it doesn’t bother me.

      “And yes, it is true what they say about men with big feet.”

      But despite his popularity in the bedroom he can’t get a steady girlfriend.

      While size is not a problem, technique might be…
      .

    646. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_ARenaissanceBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:33

      There we go
      .

    647. Bigby said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:34

      You’re the vulgarian, you fuck!

      I always liked how Cleese made it sound like he was almost in respectful awe of Otto’s vulgarianishness.

    648. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_ARenaissanceBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:34

      Snarkopathy. Does it exist?

      Discuss.
      .

    649. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:35

      While size is not a problem, technique might be…

      At 19, most women think technique means he lasts longer than a TeeVee commercial.

    650. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:38

      Snarkopathy. Does it exist?

      It’s a form of herbal healing, using humors.

    651. smedley said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:41

      Charles Pierce’s take on last night’s debate is a thing of beauty:

      http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/newt-gingrich-immigration-debate-6595753

    652. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:43

      You know what they say about big hands and big feet.
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      …big gloves and socks.

    653. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:44

      You know what they say about big hands and big feet.
      Yes.

      “ACTOR!”

    654. Provider_UNE_BlackityBlackBarbarian™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_ARenaissanceBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:49

      actor, you are the Snarkopath in Chief.

      Shaken or stirred?
      .

    655. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibalWellVersedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:52

      There we go

    656. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:54

      You know what they say about big hands and big feet.

      Big mouth?

      Sasquatch Shaved…
      .

    657. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:57

      actor, you are the Snarkopath in Chief.

      I am snarkopathetic, to be sure

    658. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:58

      Just trying something:

      ?

      That’s a real “long s”, which shows in preview, but so do a lot of things that don’t make it past WP.

    659. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 18:59

      Nope. Oh well.

    660. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:06

      Very OT: Moar about the shiny new Subaru mentioned a couple threads ago.

      200hp, 2500lbs. WANT!

    661. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:08

      200hp, 2500lbs. WANT!

      Oh. Dear.

      I didn’t know you were a lesbian. I thought you were a dude.

    662. vacuumslayer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:11

      I was shocked to learn my dad was a lesbian.

    663. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:11

      12 yards long, two lanes wide – sixteen tons of American pride _Canyonero!

    664. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:14

      12 yards long, two lanes wide – sixteen tons of American pride

      Jonah Goldberg?

    665. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:20

      I don’t know why I torture myself by reading car magazines and web articles. I’d need another $10000 in take home pay before I could ever realistically get a nice new car without trying to live on cat food. I suppose at some point I will have the opportunity to buy today’s new hotness in 5-6 years when it has 75K on the odometer.

      My whining is done. It looks like a very nice sports car. It still needs all wheel drive and a turbo before I would consider buying it with my hypothetical extra income.

    666. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:20

      At 6ft5ins tall, Carl is just two inches shorter than beanpole Stoke striker Peter Crouch.

      Tall women like tall men, and short women like…………tall men.

      Sigh.

    667. S. cerevisiae said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:21

      Actor, that even fits the tune.

      ‘shudder’

    668. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:25

      It still needs all wheel drive and a turbo before I would consider buying it with my hypothetical extra income.

      That’s the Impreza WRX and it already exists…

      This new car should be a bit more refined and have way better handling (although my Impreza has been tuned to handle quite well, that’s not its natural state).

      And silly actor, lesbians drive Foresters!

    669. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:37

      Tall women like tall men, and short women like…………tall men.

      I’ve never been attracted to tall men. I’ve always gone in for the guys my height or just a little taller (I’m 5’4″).

    670. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:38

      And silly actor, lesbians drive Foresters!

      So you’re a eunuch?

    671. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:39

      I’ve never been attracted to tall men.

      *scratching Jennifer off the short long list*

      I’ve got jeans taller than you.

    672. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:43

      I suppose at some point I will have the opportunity to buy today’s new hotness in 5-6 years when it has 75K on the odometer.

      That’s been my philosophy with Audis. I bought my 2004 in 2009 with 48k on the odometer. I paid $26k for a car that was $72k new.

    673. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:44

      So you’re a eunuch?

      I can’t quite get your point. I’m probably not hearing it properly because of the screams of the children in the back of noises coming from your Sprinter van.

    674. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:47

      Charles Pierce’s take on last night’s debate is a thing of beauty:

      http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/newt-gingrich-immigration-debate-6595753

      I enjoyed that. And then I got distracted by a video of Lake Bell. Damn you Esquire!

    675. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:50

      I can’t quite get your point. I’m probably not hearing it properly because of the noises coming from your Sprinter van.

      I was just wondering why you needed to buy a strap on, is all.

    676. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:54

      That’s the Impreza WRX and it already exists…

      not as a 2 door convertible coupe, which is what that BRZ is. If they could make it the size of a Mazda Miata or BMW Z4, they would have a serious sports car on their hands.

    677. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:56

      I was just wondering why you needed to buy a strap on, is all.

      Ah.

      It’s a Subaru. It’s probably the least penis-substitute-ish sports car possible (except maybe a Miata). It’s not like I’d be buying a Corvette or Porsche.

    678. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:56

      That’s been my philosophy with Audis. I bought my 2004 in 2009 with 48k on the odometer. I paid $26k for a car that was $72k new. and If I wait another 5-6 years, I might be able to buy that Audi from you for the $15k that my budget allows. Still, if you don’t drive the wheels off of it in the meantime, it could be a fun car.

    679. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:57

      Stupid blockquote breaky-ness. Hmmph.

    680. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 19:59

      not as a 2 door convertible coupe, which is what that BRZ is. If they could make it the size of a Mazda Miata or BMW Z4, they would have a serious sports car on their hands.

      Agreed. Note: There’s s’posted to be an STi version in the works. Still won’t be AWD though. Also too, the BRZ isn’t a convertible.

      (I know I’m boring all the sane people to tears, I’ll stop.)

    681. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:00

      It’s a Subaru. It’s probably the least penis-substitute-ish sports car possible

      I think you want a penis substitute that’s bigger than….

      oh.

    682. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:02

      Also too, the BRZ isn’t a convertible.

      According to the article you linked, one is coming soon if the original succeeds.

    683. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:08

      Actor, did you take a trip to Pittsburgh last night?

    684. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:09

      one is coming soon if the original succeeds.

      I missed that, neato.

    685. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:11

      Actor, did you take a trip to Pittsburgh last night?

      I swear I had nothing to do with Sidney Crosby’s latest concus–

      Hang on! The truck spilled it all over the road? That was supposed to be safely stored in my vault deep in Copper Mountain, awaiting the end of the zombie apocalypse

      Now I have to go fill ANOTHER Mason jar….

    686. Bruce said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:11

      I was just wondering why you needed to buy a strap on, is all.

      You’d think that someone who assumes all topics are about his dick would have a platform, maybe one of those new-fashioned weblogs or something where he could be all my dick all the time. Instead of being here all dick all the time.

    687. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:15

      You’d think that someone who assumes all topics are about his dick would have a platform, maybe one of those new-fashioned weblogs or something where he could be all my dick all the time.

      But you’d be wrong.

      How do you like my dick, dick?

    688. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:16

      The Last Stand yurt situation has been resolved. Man, those OccupyToronto folks are extremely violent anarchists!

    689. Anonymous said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:18

      How do you like my dick, dick?

      As miniatures go, I’ve seen better.

    690. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:19

      The Last Stand yurt situation has been resolved. Man, those OccupyToronto folks are extremely violent anarchists!

      WTF? Do you canuckistanis not have tear gas and pepper spray? Where’s the violence? The people demand their war pron!

    691. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:20

      Man, those OccupyToronto folks are extremely violent anarchists!

      Jeez, not even a firehose?

    692. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:21

      Used em all up last summer.

    693. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:21

      How do you like my dick, dick?

      As miniatures go, I’ve seen better.

      Funny, that’s what your mom said.

    694. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:25

      Used em all up last summer

      Listen, I know the Vancouver riots were big but ALL the pepper spray AND tear gas?

    695. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:25

      The people demand their war pron!

      Sadly true. The #OccupyToronto hashtag is full of anti-protest jerkwads that are upset that skulls weren’t cracked.

    696. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:27

      ,,,but ALL the pepper spray AND tear gas?

      First Vancouver riots were this summer, LEAFS SUCKian riots were 2010. Second, it’s SOSHULASTIC utopia. That means rationing. I’m sure there are huge stockpiles of the stuff, but until Kapuskasing goes through their mandatory allotment, no moar will be released.

    697. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:28

      full of anti-protest jerkwads that are upset that skulls weren’t cracked.

      Tell ‘em to watch a Calgary game.

    698. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:30

      200hp, 2500lbs. WANT!

      OHO! That changes my attitude. Is the ghost of Colin Chapman now working at Subaru?

    699. Pryme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:32

      This is why we can’t have nice things“.

      (I say this everytime I’m exposed to this stuff, but dangit, I’m writing a screenplay. There’s no way it could be come out any worse than this…no way.)

    700. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:32

      Man, those OccupyToronto folks are extremely violent anarchists!

      Like I always said about the “seven stranded castaways” on Gilligan’s Island, what other kind ya got?

    701. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:33

      I was watching something on the Speed Channel the other day. They ran a 1980s Ferrari 308 (the Magnum P.I. car) against a 2011 Camry. The Camry dusted it. Likewise a Toyota minivan easily beat a 1980s Delorean.

    702. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:34

      Is the ghost of Colin Chapman now working at Subaru?

      The Emperor understands! My thoughts prezactly.

    703. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:34

      Hit submit too soon—I mean, they’re violating authoritarians’ senses of hierarchy…the worst violence of all!

    704. stryx said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:38

      Hometown paper ruins my day:

      Urban Meyer to be next Ohio State football coach, sources confirm

      In this football obsessed town, it’s going to be CUM all over every media.

      CUM in the news, CUM on the magazines,CUM on the radio, CUM on the internet. CUM spouting off, CUM shooting straight.

      Which ever looney lib hey diddly diddlio did invent CUM, I will be sending you a cleaning bill for my brain bleach use.

      I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this.

    705. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:38

      Likewise a Toyota minivan easily beat a 1980s Delorean.

      At the SCCA Solo2 Nationals a few years back (2004?) one of the head folks took media people around the North course in a minivan, and then also did a run in a pristine vintage Superbird. The minivan with lots of passengers was faster.

    706. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:40

      They ran a 1980s Ferrari 308 (the Magnum P.I. car) against a 2011 Camry.

      The 308 only cost around $30K when new. It was a shit Ferrari. Much like Tom Selleck, it looked hot but was disappointing when you put it through its paces.

    707. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:40

      I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this.

      You could watch movies that Alan CUMming starred in.

      You could cook something with CUMin.

      You could scrape the sCUM from your pond.

    708. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:42

      I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this.

      Don’t let it acCUMulate.

    709. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:49

      stryx can’t even deal with the precum.

    710. actor212 said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:51

      stryx can’t even deal with the precum.

      Yes. It left a nasty taste in his mouth.

    711. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:58

      The 308 only cost around $30K when new.

      $30K gets you a pretty nice Camry. Or a Kia Sedona.

    712. stryx said,

      November 23, 2011 at 20:59

      It’s bad enough that when I see Little Ricky, I picture dirty stained sheets.

      But now I’m going to have the frothy mixture of hot spunk and Ned Flanders in my mind every time I see this guy.

      DAMN YOU INTERNET!!!!!111!!!

    713. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 21:05

      Charles Pierce, from smedley’s link:

      Then, somehow, the issue of immigration came up, and Newt suddenly found himself caught in the maelstrom that is the party he helped create, lo those many years ago — the party of mindless jingoism and barely disguised bigotry, empty of mind, vacant of soul, a pile of adjectives and talking points masquerading as a governing philosophy.

      I love Charles Pierce.

    714. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

      November 23, 2011 at 21:05

      Speaking of DeLoreans, OMG when did this happen?!?!

      Batteries supplied by Flux Power – if only they were supercapacitors instead.

    715. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 21:22

      As long as we are doing motor pron, Drooool.

    716. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

      November 23, 2011 at 21:35

      When Motorweek did their 25th anniversary show, they found that the (first-generation) Prius they had just tested was only a second slower in the quarter-mile than the “Smokey and the Bandit” Trans-Am they tested their first season.

    717. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 21:36

      As long as we are doing motor pron, Drooool.

      Wow, 130,000 pounds is a lot of money.

      I think I’d take this for 5k instead. I like two-strokes.*

       
       
       

      *What?

    718. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 21:50

      The 308 only cost around $30K when new.

      Which was a fair bit of money in the late 70s – early 80s time frame.

      Yeah, I know it was a “cheap” Ferrari but I recall buying a brand new Mustang 5.0 in 1987 for $15k.

    719. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:06

      Assholes all up in da joint!

    720. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:10

      it looked hot but was disappointing when you put it through its paces.

      actor was especially disappointed with Tom Selleck after putting him through his paces. IYKWIMAITYD

    721. pedestrian said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:13

      It’s a Subaru. It’s probably the least penis-substitute-ish sports car possible

      A Lesbaru? Really? That’s your evidence that you don’t have any use for a strap-on?

    722. tsam said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:15

      Shorter Grover Norquist:

      You guys SHUTUP! Stop picking on me!

    723. Oregon Beer Snob said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:28

      A Lesbaru? Really? That’s your evidence that you don’t have any use for a strap-on?

      I get it, I like cars and therefore you think I am compensating for a small penis.

      Here have a beer.

    724. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:36

      WOCMGN

      Perhaps someday I’ll be bold enough to pull off the x-mas gag of putting fake blood and police tape in the shapes of Santa and a few reindeer in front of the mall so that poor parents can tell their children that Santa and his reindeer were killed in a drive-by so there are no x-mas presents this year.

    725. Pryme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:37

      Shorter Grover Norquist

      Any word on whether he’s going to “allow” any tax increases for the Middle Class? Or do they not count under his pledge rules?

    726. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:39

      I pity the fool who has to compensate for a small penis. I feel no need to compensate whatsoever.

    727. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:41

      Anyone up for some French Toast…Made with cranberry bread?

      Have recently developed a taste for French Toast made with Texas toast, but French Toast made with cranberry nut bread?! ZOMG!!! I’m making some cranberry nut bread for Thanksgiving dinner and will surely save some for this obviously ridiculously marvelous dish.

    728. Major Kong said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:42

      I get it, I like cars and therefore you think I am compensating for a small penis.

      If that was the case you’d be driving an F-350 Super Duty or its equivalent from GM or Dodge.

    729. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:48

      Any word on whether he’s going to “allow” any tax increases for the Middle Class? Or do they not count under his pledge rules?

      Grover Norquist, the third most famous Grover in our nation’s history, coming in a distant third after the Sesame Street muppet and the 22nd and 24th President (Grover Cleveland who, according to wikipedia, is the only president ever elected to non-consecutive terms), has never raised his voice when the middle class has gotten screwed in the past, so why should he start now?

    730. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:55

      I make a god damn non-traditonal traditional T-day feast. The bird – a fucking free range organic heritage breed in this case, properly decapitated by a leucomorph and defeathered in the mouth of a deodand accompanied by Pandelume’s incantations – will be disassembled. And don’t even fucking brine that bitch, that brining crap is for wusses and poseurs. Leave the legs whole but debone those goddamn thighs. The backbone and trimmings – including the fucking thigh bones! – go into a hot oven to roast to a nice dark brown. Toss some quartered onion, carrot chunks and a rib or two of celery in for the last 30 or so minutes. When that’s done dump that shit in your stock pot and add water and a bouquet garni then let that brew simmer for several hours. And lissen up bitchez: deglaze that fucking roating pan with some motherfucking French vermouth. GET THAT FUCKING FOND INTO THE POT.

      Now then. Smear a dollop of butter into the thigh meat, season lightly with salt and pepper and strew a wee bit of sage chiffonade in before suturing those motherfuckers back together. Massage some butter (USE UNSALTED BUTTER FOR EVERYTHING YOU DUMB BASTARDS!) into the legs and season. Rub some butter over the breast (jeezus, actor, get a grip …er .. I mean go fap someplace private, mmm k?) and season. You can put some herbs on those huge tits if you like.

      Make your favorite stuffing (NO, it’s NOT “dressing, it’s stuffing god fucking damnit and please, for the love of all that is holy actor, just fucking stop already!). I like a mushroom, herb, oyster and chestnut bad boy m’sef. Mound that STUFFING shit on a greased half-sheet pan then plop the booby bits on top. You should have extra stuffing which you may cook in its own fucking dish but it is STILL STUFFING GOD DAMNIT. The breast goes into a 350 Fahrenfuckingheit oven. And here’s the best part – it only cooks for 70 to 90 motherfucking minutes! The legs you damn well better put on a rack over a deep sided oven pan of some sort and those go in for the last 40 minutes. BAM MOTHERFUCKERS!

      Very traditional cranberry-apple-orange relish. You don’t fucking mess with perfection, you snotty cunts.

      Make a nice mushroom “soup” using some shiitakes, chanterelles, maybe some maitake, just use some fungus with great goddamn flavor. Shallots, thyme, heavy cream, you get the fucking idea and if you don’t your’e a fucking moron. Add fresh steamed greany beany. Top with thinly sliced red onions dredged in rice flour and fried to a crispy delicious golden brown.

      The sweet potates are basically Tyler’s brilliant pecan streussel topped invention. What you can’t use the fucking google? Piss off, I aint doing every fucking thing for you ya lazy bastard fucks.

      Make yer fucking gravy using that brown turkey stock and the brown bits deglazed from the roasting pan(s). You deglaze that with motherfucking French vermouth, you got me punk?!?

      Basic mashed potates but they are made with an Imperial fucktonne of butter, a dollop of sour cream and heavy fucking cream. You use milk for that shit you are DEAD motherfucker.

      Homemade rolls. Don’t be putting any of that store bought crap on the table, what are you, some stupid fuckwad?

    731. Bruce said,

      November 23, 2011 at 22:57

      wiley: it’s Thanksgiving babe! Make that chalk outline in the shape of a turkey so they’ll know why there’s no……

    732. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:00

      I barely cook at all and I would pay a bunch of money for a cookbook by Pup. An uncensored cooking show would be awesome too.

    733. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:02

      I am pretty sure Toronto is the French toast Mecca of North America. There are many many good slabs of eggy bread along Queen Street. Plus in Kensington Market you can get it with BLACK METAL.

    734. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:03

      I just had an idea for a great new cooking show: Chef Abuso, or perhaps The Foul-Mouthed Gourmand. He hurls invective at you as he shows you how to cook properly.

      Nominations, anyone?

    735. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:03

      I barely cook at all and I would pay a bunch of money for a cookbook by Pup. An uncensored cooking show would be awesome too.

      I demand YouTube.

    736. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:04

      Shit. Your comment hadn’t posted when I was writing mine, Helmut.

    737. Whale Chowder said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:08

      200hp, 2500lbs. WANT!

      Yeah. That’s NC Miata weight and about 30 more HP. That’ll get up and go and stock 215 x 17 tires means you can put some meaty (225? bigger?) R compounds on that bad boy and do some serious cornering. That’s the first car I’ve seen in some time that looks like it’ll bring something new to the table and shake up the Solo 2 classes again.

      Yum!

      Also, the big expensive Honduh? You won’t have to bid against me, Pup.

    738. Substance McGravitas said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:17

      I am not a big fan of the Trig jokes – I am with bbkf – but OMG STFU!

    739. El Manquécito said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:21

      I like that Honda of Pup’s; oval cylinders w/8 valves each, what could go wrong? Unfortunately it’s a Honda and made for small people. My elbows and knees would ruin the aerodynamics.

      And Pup, which am I, a wuss or a poseur? Herb brining turkeys may be something your sainted Julia never thought of but it makes reliably great birds, especially if you’re using unpredictable farm raised heirloom style pavolotes. Ease up dude!

    740. Jennifer said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:24

      I gotta side with Pup on the issue of brined birds. Not a fan.

    741. Helmut Monotreme said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:28

      New Thread!

    742. John Revolta said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:30

      Like I always said about the “seven stranded castaways” on Gilligan’s Island, what other kind ya got?

      Slightly different, but still stupid: I heard some idiot on the radio yesterday singing “Now that you’re gone, I still want you back”.

      Still annoyed.

    743. El Manquécito said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:34

      OK, Pup, I went back and read it again and I won’t quibble with the substance of it, that’s a perfectly good T’giving spread, with extra invective. If you eat a lot of homegrown birds you’ll find that brine is your friend. The rest of it (cream not milk in the taters, make your own rolls already, you better not roast turkey if you don’t know how to make a decent gravy, etc.) I can sign off on with pleasure. I’ve been assigned desserts for our celebration tomorrow and I’m already despairing of how the turkey will be ruined by my well-meaning friends. My contribution: blue hubbard squash pie made with cane syrup and honey and an angel food cake layered with Meyer lemon curd.

    744. tigris said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:42

      I am not a big fan of the Trig jokes – I am with bbkf – but OMG STFU!

      She’s a selfless wad of awesome because AMERICA!

    745. tigris said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:46

      And “shorter Grover Norquist” would be what, 3 feet tall?

    746. Pupienus said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:46

      which am I, a wuss or a poseur

      I’m taking the fifth. For that matter, I’ll take all the fifths. I don’t brine the heritage birds precisely because I think they have great flavor without it. Some bland, broad-breasted white that’s been sitting a freezer for a year or two? Yeah, it needs help. One of teh things I miss about my former residence was shooting a wild bird every year. Gawd fucking damn now there’s what a turkey should taste like!

      Props for recognizing the source of my method. I would never say St. Julia can do no wrong but I learned a LOT from her, starting with the black and white shows from the 60′s.

      Also, The Ho uploaded some segments I did for the local PBS station a number of years back. I’ll see if I can find them. Not that I was able to perform to S,N! standards in that environment.

    747. El Manquécito said,

      November 23, 2011 at 23:53

      Those Julia Child shows were the only TV I ever watched with my mom.

      I’ve killed and et an awful lot of homegrown and wild birds and it is amazing the variety in them, even of identical meatbirds raised together and killed the same day. Brining is a way of making the tough ones better to eat and it doesn’t hurt the tender ones any.

      Wild turkeys are so common here that folks treat ‘em like partridge, cut out the breasts, throw the rest of the bird away and poach the breasts (you know how).

      Do I need to say that a brine should emphasize the bird flavors and not overwhelm them?

    748. pedestrian said,

      November 24, 2011 at 0:07

      I get it, I like cars and therefore you think I am compensating for a small penis.

      No, not at all – it’s just that we were talking about strap-ons and it is the stereotypically lesbian car.so… maybe it isn’t really that funny.

      I have no car and therefore INFINITAH PENIS!!!

    749. Pupienus said,

      November 24, 2011 at 0:20

      poach the breasts (you know how).

      In an aromatic broth, of course.

    750. Smut Clyde said,

      November 24, 2011 at 0:52

      Here have a beer.
      People who drink massively hopped IIPAs are obviously compensating for small penes.

      [sips actor212's herbal tea].

    751. tigris said,

      November 24, 2011 at 1:16

      Or for not having one at all.

    752. Timothy "Bags" Rupert said,

      November 24, 2011 at 8:35

      Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

    753. Dr BLT said,

      November 24, 2011 at 19:24

      Let’s just be thankful we’re not having:

      Thanksgiving in Turkey
      Dr BLT ft. Greg Pisano
      words and music by Dr BLT © 2011
      http://www.drblt.com/music/TurkeyDrBLT.mp3

    754. actor212 said,

      November 25, 2011 at 14:52

      uncensored cooking show

      Allow me

      (closest I could come with YouTube)

    755. akak said,

      November 28, 2011 at 4:20

      I tried that Butterball link, see that they’ve removed the reference to Halal-Certified. Score one for pammycakes.

    756. 5thKolumnisto said,

      November 28, 2011 at 22:43

      I hate to miss a Geller thread here, but I’ve been working in Oregon’s dial-up and moldy motel room country. I can’t tell Bend from Boise at this point.

      However:

      I highly recommend that all these wingnut morons restrict their diets so that they eat absolutely nothing that is halal, which will leave them with a diet of bacon and alcohol, and spare us too much more of their incessant tantrum.

      However “tortuous” it is to cut a cow’s throat— I’m assuming that the non-halal methods don’t involve giving cows Demerol and a blow job before killing them— how is anyone being “forced” into consuming Islamically slaughtered meat?

      Bacon, blowjobs, alcohol, Demerol–stay outta my head, Wiley!

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