Nov
14

Gone Fischer




Posted at 20:43 by Tintin


ABOVE: Bryan Fischer

Shorter Bryan Fischer, Ruhnoo Murika:
A homosexual pedophile who deserves the death penalty/a>

  • The press coverage of Joe Paterno is a nefarious plot by the media to distract people from the real truth, namely, that most homos are child molesters* and should be executed.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Sadly, No!

458 Comments »

  1. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:46

    Let me say this about the press coverage: when someone has sex with a ten-year-old, the word that should be used to describe this is “rape.” I’m am really goddamned tired of hearing that Sandusky “had sex with” boys.

  2. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:50

    most homos are child molesters* and should be executed except those in the priesthood.

  3. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:50

    Let me say this about the press coverage: when someone has sex with a ten-year-old, the word that should be used to describe this is “rape.” I’m am really goddamned tired of hearing that Sandusky “had sex with” boys.

    agreed…it implies a consensuality that was NOT there…which should be clear when the words prey, grooming, boundaries, inappropriate are also used…

  4. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:52

    Warning: strong and disturbing content

    i’m sorry, but seeing that as the first line right next to the photogallery of the wingnuts who post here, i laffed…

  5. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:56

    agreed…it implies a consensuality that was NOT there

    Even if the boy bent over, spread his cheeks and begged for it, it’s not consensual and therefore rape.

  6. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:57

    But put yourself inside the frantically beating heart of a ten-year old boy who is being cruelly sodomized from behind by a man he looked to for protection.

    I am sensing that he took pleasure in writing this.

  7. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:57

    most homos are child molesters and should be executed except those in the priesthood.

    Srsly, one of the things about the Penn State fiasco that is making wingnuts’ heads explode is that they can’t use a supposed “homosexual culture” as a straw man. It’s easy to say, regarding the Catholic Church, “we should just keep queers out of the clergy and the problem is solved.” That’s impossible with an overtly* hyperagressive, ultra-masculine institution like college football where gays are already dreaded.

    *Cue downthread jokes about tight pants and butt-patting

  8. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 20:58

    Y’know, Brian Fischer looks an awful lot like Jerry Sandusky.

    Um, a little close to home there, BriBri?

  9. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:00

    Cue downthread jokes about tight pants and butt-patting

    There is nothing funny about tight pants. Testicles are meant to roam free.

  10. Chris said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:00

    Let me say this about the press coverage: when someone has sex with a ten-year-old, the word that should be used to describe this is “rape.” I’m am really goddamned tired of hearing that Sandusky “had sex with” boys.

    If your goal is to diss homosexuality, you should never miss an opportunity to equate consensual sex between adults with a violent attack on a minor.

    Plus, you know how touchy they are about the word “rape,” since it’s so often used in a context that implies the ladies are in fact something other than a man’s property.

  11. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:00

    *Cue downthread jokes about tight pants and butt-patting

    What? Nothing about diving into a pile of man-flesh cradling your ball?

  12. lawfam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:02

    Got out of the boat. Lemme say this about that. Don’t. Made up “facts” (“Despite comprising about three percent of the population, homosexual pedophiles commit about one-third of all sex offenses against children.” and “…”homosexuals molest children at ten times the rate of heterosexuals.”) and other offenses against intelligence and good sense. He also blathers about feeling the same way about heteros who abuse girls. Funny, don’t remember seeing any of his articles about such before now…

  13. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:06

    Jerry Sandusky deserves to die

    wow…for once, bryan and i agree!

  14. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:07

    (“Despite comprising about three percent of the population, homosexual pedophiles commit about one-third of all sex offenses against children.” and “…”homosexuals molest children at ten times the rate of heterosexuals.”)

    Y’know, even allowing for these obvious fallacies…go on, I dare ya!…there’s an internal contradiction.

    Gays make up 3% of the population (let’s take him at his word)

    Gays commit molestations at a rate ten times that of straights

    Ergo, gays commit roughly 30% of molestations.

    So, uhhhhhhhhh, when did 30% = “most”?

    It means, by his own definition, that straights commit 70% of molestations or what we would loosely call “the lion’s share”.

  15. jim, finally settling back into his old Quantum Gargling regimen said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:08

    You NEVER go Full Fischer.

  16. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:09

    He also blathers about feeling the same way about heteros who abuse girls. Funny, don’t remember seeing any of his articles about such before now…

    i strongly suspect that bryan does not support abortion in cases of incest…surely it’s much better for the victim to re-live the horror over and over and over and over…

  17. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:09

    I’d say the problem here was in an authoritarian culture, authoritarians get away with it.

    Obviously, the wingnuts will do whatever they can to avoid that conclusion.
    ~

  18. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:12

    i strongly suspect that bryan does not support abortion in cases of incest

    In fairness, he wouldn’t be around…

  19. Scott said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:13

    Say what you will about Bryan Fischer, but he doesn’t bang children… until after they’re dead.

  20. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:14

    Gays make up 3% of the population (let’s take him at his word)

    Gays commit molestations at a rate ten times that of straights

    Ergo, gays commit roughly 30% of molestations.

    10 x 3 DOES equal 30, no? I’m sure I remember this from my very basic statistical training in college.

  21. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:15

    10 x 3 DOES equal 30, no?

    You liberals and your “maths”. Trust in God, count in cubits!

  22. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:15

    Homosexual activists will of course lamely argue that since Sandusky is married, he is not a homosexual.

    really? has ‘bu…buh….but, he’s married!!!’ ever been a serious argument against somebody’s purported gayness? how out of touch is bryan with the real world, anyway?

    oh, right…so out of touch that this math makes perfect sense:

    A study of 229 convicted child molesters in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 86 percent of offenders against males “described themselves as homosexual or bisexual.” Despite comprising about three percent of the population, homosexual pedophiles commit about one-third of all sex offenses against children.

  23. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:16

    Say what you will about Bryan Fischer, but he doesn’t bang children… until after they’re dead.

    zomg! that is oh, so wrong, yet oh so right…

  24. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:18

    Say what you will about Bryan Fischer, but he doesn’t bang children… until after they’re dead.

    The live ones move too quickly.

  25. Marco said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:18

    I think I speak for a large number of gay males when I ask “Are you fucking kidding me, Bry?”

    Every tine I hear my neighborhood kids screaming at play outside, I pray for a kidnappers. If I were Sigourney Weaver in Aliens, I would have used Newt as a human shield. On Halloween, I hung the Muppets in nooses from the tree in front of my house and gave away Tide samples I’ve collected in the mail to trick or treaters. Yeah, I amy be old school, but I am not alone.

    Sorry, Bryan. Last thing a lot of gay men want to do is get near a kid to harm him in that way.

  26. jim, finally settling back into his old Quantum Gargling regimen said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:18

    Every old market is new again?

  27. Michael said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:19

    ….as much as we all enjoy Tintin’s ‘shorters,’ have all the other SN’ers retired? Gone tro Occupy somewhere with no WiFi? Committed ritual seppuku after having read one too many Pam Atlas posts? What gives?

  28. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:21

    ….as much as we all enjoy Tintin’s ‘shorters,’ have all the other SN’ers retired? Gone tro Occupy somewhere with no WiFi? Committed ritual seppuku after having read one too many Pam Atlas posts? What gives?

    They took the ad revenues and went Galt, realizing that most people came here for the comments.

    We’re like the Guatamelan catfish cleaners in Alabama, man!

  29. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:21

    Testicles are meant to roam free.

    that image has now claimed the number one spot in ‘images i do NOT need’

  30. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:21

    The facts, from someone who isn’t a moron:

    The distinction between a victim’s gender and a perpetrator’s sexual orientation is important because many child molesters don’t really have an adult sexual orientation. They have never developed the capacity for mature sexual relationships with other adults, either men or women. Instead, their sexual attractions focus on children – boys, girls, or children of both sexes.

    For the present discussion, the important point is that many child molesters cannot be meaningfully described as homosexuals, heterosexuals, or bisexuals (in the usual sense of those terms) because they are not really capable of a relationship with an adult man or woman. Instead of gender, their sexual attractions are based primarily on age. These individuals – who are often characterized as fixated – are attracted to children, not to men or women.

  31. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:22

    Testicles are meant to roam free.

    that image has now claimed the number one spot in ‘images i do NOT need’

    You don’t keep hubbkf’s in a jar?

  32. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:26

    The facts, from someone who isn’t a moron:

    I’m betting that, if there is a gender discrepancy in the victims, it’s because girls are more closely watched than boys, and get more reinforcement on the “don’t talk to strangers” messages.

    That’s not based on anything but a formulation of my own creation (e.g. plucked out of my ass)

  33. jim, finally settling back into his old Quantum Gargling regimen said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:27

    LOLWUT

  34. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:28

    If they wanted to go to Walmart, they had to be accompanied by an American employee, and they had to return within one hour.

    is it possible to get out of a walmarat in under an hour? especially if it’s a super…?

  35. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:28

    More from that article, written by some egghead college perfesser:

    Some conservative groups have argued that scientific research strongly supports their claims that homosexuality and pedophilia are linked. The Family Research Council has produced what is perhaps the most extensive attempt to document this claim. It is an article by Timothy J. Dailey titled Homosexuality and Child Abuse.

    With 76 footnotes, many of them referring to papers in scientific journals, it appears at first glance to be a thorough and scholarly discussion of the issue. On further examination, however, its central argument – that “the evidence indicates that homosexual men molest boys at rates grossly disproportionate to the rates at which heterosexual men molest girls” – doesn’t hold up.

  36. scrotums everywhere said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:29

    Testicles are NOT meant to roam free.

    FTFY

  37. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:29

    You don’t keep hubbkf’s in a jar?

    ewwww! of course not! they’re in my pocket…

  38. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:30

    And let’s not forget that Sandusky adopted five boys. It makes me shudder every time I think about it.

  39. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:30

    That’s not based on anything but a formulation of my own creation (e.g. plucked out of my ass)

    it’s an asstatistic!

  40. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:30

    is it possible to get out of a walmarat in under an hour? especially if it’s a super…?

    They’re brownskinned, so yes.

    /SASQ

  41. smedley said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:32

    “LOLWUT”

    Did West really admit to being the only black member of a “white supremacist motorcycle club?” What are the odds?

  42. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:32

    I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS SHIT TODAY!

  43. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:35

    And let’s not forget that Sandusky adopted five boys. It makes me shudder every time I think about it.

    i did not know this…yeah, that is really gross…and another blow to the ‘adoption is always best!’ argument…i believe i have also read that second mile began taking in young women in the past few years…is that so?

  44. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:35

    But put yourself inside the frantically beating heart of a ten-year old boy

    It stops beating long before you stretch it that far.
    I am as fond of creepy morbid metaphors as the next ghoulish sicko person, but Fischer has creeped me out with that one.

  45. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:37

    but Fischer has creeped me out with that one.

    that was his intention…to scare you away from the scary, scary gheys!

  46. jim, finally settling back into his old Quantum Gargling regimen said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:37

    Did West really admit to being the only black member of a “white supremacist motorcycle club?

    Oh yes he sure did!
    Ain’t he just a pip?

    Wingnut-World: reality not included.

  47. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:38

    Let me say this about the press coverage: when someone has sex with a ten-year-old, the word that should be used to describe this is “rape.” I’m am really goddamned tired of hearing that Sandusky “had sex with” boys.

    First, yes, yes, yes!

    Second, to the wingnut mind, consent just makes sex worse, because with rape one person is “carried away by the slutty fashions of the other” and the second “unsuccessfully fended off advances”, whereas if two people decide to work out boundaries and engage in completely natural pleasure activities, then they knowingly engaged in sinful activities that will condemn to Hell.

    It’s pretty much the same reasoning behind wingnut hate of contraception and people who know enough to use it (see Chunky Reese Witherspoon).

  48. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:39

    For the present discussion, the important point is that many child molesters cannot be meaningfully described as homosexuals, heterosexuals, or bisexuals (in the usual sense of those terms) because they are not really capable of a relationship with an adult man or woman. Instead of gender, their sexual attractions are based primarily on age. These individuals – who are often characterized as fixated – are attracted to children, not to men or women.

    Do I recall that in that article she points out that it is precisely the LACK of secondary sexual charateristics that makes children attractive to the pedo?

    I’m betting that, if there is a gender discrepancy in the victims, it’s because girls are more closely watched than boys, and get more reinforcement on the “don’t talk to strangers” messages.

    That’s not based on anything but a formulation of my own creation (e.g. plucked out of my ass)

    It’s usually a matter of access. Yes, people are more wary of leaving girls with older men, boys not so much.

  49. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:40

    that image has now claimed the number one spot in ‘images i do NOT need’

    Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll come up with something to push it down the list.

  50. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:40

    Pushing down the list.

  51. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:42

    that image has now claimed the number one spot in ‘images i do NOT need’

    Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll come up with something to push it down the list.

    I dunno…I can sort of see a farmer (Poops?) standing in his overalls, maybe assless chaps, hanging his foot on the bottom of a fence, long blade of grass in his teeth, looking out at his pride herd of free-range testicles.

  52. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:43

    But put yourself inside the frantically beating heart of a ten-year old boy

    On reflection, I realise`that Fischer has confounded the heart-extracting religious practices of the Aztecs with the wearing-freshly-flayed skin ritual they used on special occasions to honour Xipe Totec, possibly unaware that modern societies frown upon bloodthirsty human sacrifice.

  53. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:44

    looking out at his pride*¹ herd of free-range testicles.

    * priZe

    ¹V6/24/12R

  54. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:44

    possibly unaware that modern societies frown upon have high-tech, knife-free methods of achieving bloodthirsty human sacrifice.

  55. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:45

    that modern societies frown upon bloodthirsty human sacrifice

    Death penalty?

  56. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:49

    Capital punishment and Middle-East invasions are completely different sir.

  57. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:49

    By “Pray Out Teh Ghey” standards, Jerry Sandusky can not be gay. He’s married to a woman and has kids*. QED.

    *I know, I don’t want to think about that either.

  58. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:49

    I dunno…I can sort of see a farmer (Poops?) standing in his overalls, maybe assless chaps, hanging his foot on the bottom of a fence, long blade of grass in his teeth, looking out at his pride herd of free-range testicles.

    a man outstanding in his field…

    actually, i pictured them more as a pair roaming the mean streets of nyc…with sunglasses and trench coats…

    both are equally far-sidian…

  59. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:50

    By “Pray Out Teh Ghey” standards, Jerry Sandusky can not be gay. He’s married to a woman and has kids*. QED.

    this is why i refuse to this day to believe rock hudson was teh ghey! he was married!!! and they didn’t have kids because being a hollywood leading man is hard work…who has time for kids?

  60. smedley said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:51

    My testicles have apparently lived a sheltered life.

  61. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:51

    He’s married to a woman and has kids*

    All of which are adopted. Except the wife, of course. She volunteered.

  62. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:52

    Do I recall that in that article she points out that it is precisely the LACK of secondary sexual charateristics that makes children attractive to the pedo?

    Indeed. It’s not uncommon for certain kinds of pervs to grab either girls or boys, depending on who’s available. One more reason the attempt to co-opt the outrage against pedophilia and turn it against gays in general is utter nonsense.

  63. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:52

    actually, i pictured them more as a pair roaming the mean streets of nyc…with sunglasses and trench coats…

    Ayyyyyyyyyyy, diss is Noo Yawk! No one goes out inna trenchcoat! Not even da Geico Gekko.

  64. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:54

    that modern societies frown upon bloodthirsty human sacrifice

    Death penalty?

    Not the same. This is generally considered humane by persons who don’t know the definition of humane. Also, feeding the criminals seems like such a bad idea when you consider that they’re really really bad people in some cases.

  65. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:56

    My testicles have apparently lived a sheltered life.

    We already knew you were not a Tea Bagger. Politically-speaking, that is.

  66. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:56

    I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS SHIT TODAY!

    This is why I wear boxer-briefs.

  67. Chunky Reese Witherspoon said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:56

    Guys named Ross still squick me out to this day.

    LOL TEQUILA GOGGLES LOL

  68. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:57

    She volunteered.

    i’m guessing she was ‘recruited’ more than she ‘volunteered’…

  69. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:58

    Ayyyyyyyyyyy, diss is Noo Yawk! No one goes out inna trenchcoat! Not even da Geico Gekko.

    now they are wearing fonzi jackets and have ducktails…

  70. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:58

    Oh god, it’s FIscher, creator of a thousand aneuryisms, one of the Chief assholes of the Professional Homophobe movement.

    Do I dare jump off the boat?

    (Splash)

    Damnitt actor, no pushing!

    Ok, fine, I’ll go mango hunting.

    Jerry Sandusky faces 450 years in prison but deserves to die.

    He will never see the outside world again, but the wingnut hive mind never misses an opportunity to air its bloodlust in pointlessly unhelpful ways. Yes, the man who will never be out of a prison in his life and will probably have a mean go of it because prison populations tend to hate child molestors more than other criminals deserves a death. Why? Because that’d be more violent and carnal like FOO-BALL!

    I know it’s not the meat of his problems, but I need to work up to it. Okay, fine.

    But perhaps some of that press focus is diversionary, to direct the attention of the public away from one of the darkest pathologies associated with homosexual behavior: homosexuals molest children at ten times the rate of heterosexuals.

    Yes, Bryan, the media is reporting on the rapes and how they were covered up and what this means for Penn State, the Second Mile charity, and college football in general is really just an attempt to steal your favorite hobby horse.

    Jesus Christo, do you think the KKK used to sit around moping any time a random crime occurred because the media weren’t tying it to black people being evil.

    “Grr. All they want to talk about is this ‘Hitler’ and our troops overseas rather than the fact that black people have committed more genetic genocide than a thousand germans!”

    And yeah, the reality is obvious to anyone who hasn’t been spending over a decade trying to displace some of the worst religious crimes onto a minority he already hates. Child molestors are attracted to power. The rush that comes with taking something small and weak and overpowering it completely. Holding all the cards. Rape is about power after all and a child offers the biggest return and least risk on that for those that can stomach it.

    People who are actually attracted to children tend to be attracted to children regardless of gender. Similarly, those who target children for rape tend to just target based on ease of access. Most molestors, including of male children (who are the only ones who matter, what with women being not people who can’t even be trusted to be allowed to have a legal medical procedure), are heterosexual by adult attractions. Where boys have been molested more than girls (hint, not the global reality), it tends to be because single-sex organizations tend to be more authoritarian and open to a predator to exploit. When you factor in the far more prevalent rape of family members or the family members of friends, shock of shocks, it tends to be overwhelmingly rapes of little girls by male authority figures.

    But of course, when has reality ever mattered to a bigot?

  71. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 21:59

    We already knew you were not a Tea Bagger.

    DING, DING, DING! thanks, n_b…roaming testicles now claim the number two spot…

  72. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:01

    Damnitt actor, no pushing!

    What? I just wanted to get to the cooler!

  73. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:02

    All of which are adopted.

    I appreciate that the adoption caveat is commentary on Sandusky the pedophile, not his kids – but I am loath to draw any distinctions between adopted and “natural” kids. Anyways, even if Dottie was a champion brood cow shootin’ babbies out on an annual basis – that doesn’t necessarily speak to Jerry’s orientation.

  74. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:03

    Do I recall that in that article she points out that it is precisely the LACK of secondary sexual charateristics that makes children attractive to the pedo?

    Prepubescence is generally considered to be the primary attraction, yes. It’s a mental defect, completely unrelated to sexual orientation.

  75. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:04

    DKW, to the extent that it identifies him as heterosexual, that he and his wife actually have (or had) sex versus finding a child to adopt, adoption status becomes relevant.

  76. Anonymous said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:04

    I’m betting that, if there is a gender discrepancy in the victims, it’s because girls are more closely watched than boys, and get more reinforcement on the “don’t talk to strangers” messages.

    That’s not based on anything but a formulation of my own creation (e.g. plucked out of my ass)

    Actually, Father Geoghan stated that he preferred to molest little girls but the girls’ mothers had a way of going psycho… so he switched to molesting boys because he figured he could get away with that.

  77. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:05

    I understand teh point, but Dottie gettin’ preggers says nothing about Jerry’s little soldier. Geez, someone who’s slept with as many married woman as you have ought to know that by now.

  78. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:05

    Also, it’s not as if he was trying to marry the little girls, so, seriously, no mortal sin here–bitches be trippin’, amirite?

  79. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:06

    but I am loath to draw any distinctions between adopted and “natural” kids. Anyways, even if Dottie was a champion brood cow shootin’ babbies out on an annual basis – that doesn’t necessarily speak to Jerry’s orientation.

    We’re loathe to exclude bisexuality as a recognized orientation as well. Saying that being attracted to men means you’re not attracted to women is a joke.

  80. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:07

    I understand teh point, but Dottie gettin’ preggers says nothing about Jerry’s little soldier.

    I’m not sure about that, but given the rather thin ice covering the carcass of Bryan Fischer I find myself LEAFS SUCKing on right now, Imma let it go.

  81. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:07

    Homosexual activists will of course lamely argue that since Sandusky is married, he is not a homosexual. Fine, call him bisexual if you will. But his sex crimes are same-sex crimes, and 10-year old boys whose bodies have been cruelly invaded could care less what label homosexual activists want to slap on their abuser.

    Or you know, they might note that pedophiles and molestors tend to target based on ease of access, what with the lack of secondary sexual characteristics and all and that what someone is with their adult sexuality might not match the type of targets they go after.

    And they might also note that the far overwhelming number of molestors, even of boys, tend to be heterosexual with regards to their adult sexuality. Interviews with people rationalizing their assaults with this tend to focus on how the little boys have characteristics associated with girls and women (such as hairlessness and soft facial features).

    Also notice again the complete erasure from girls from any conversation about rape of children, despite little girls being the overwhelming target of rape and assault. It’s almost like we accept the rape of women and girls as part of the natural order, but rape of boys and men goes against that and must be stopped. Ideally by targeting consensual adult sexuality that proves that the “inherent gender roles” malarky is a bunch of bupkiss.

    A study of 229 convicted child molesters in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 86 percent of offenders against males “described themselves as homosexual or bisexual.” Despite comprising about three percent of the population, homosexual pedophiles commit about one-third of all sex offenses against children.

    I guarantee this study is misquoted and I’ll again point out that the rest of research on the topic has found quite the opposite. And again, only the rapes against boys count. Later he’ll say total, this counts for 30 percent of the rapes. So even when he’s engaging in bullshit numeracy and greatly exaggerating his case, he still ends up highlighting that when it comes to molestation, girls are getting it and heterosexuals are the overwhelming rapists.

  82. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:08

    DING, DING, DING! thanks, n_b

    I love a challenge.

  83. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:09

    Or you know, they might note that pedophiles and molestors tend to target based on ease of access, what with the lack of secondary sexual characteristics and all and that what someone is with their adult sexuality might not match the type of targets they go after.

    As far as we know, in the Sandusky case, no girls are involved.

    But there’s only nine identified victims as of now.

  84. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:09

    HAHAHAHAHA From a reddit trollmeister:

    Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us:

    Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

    Does Jesus say “Honor God, unless you are a child?” NO. He says that OUR BODIES are TEMPLES of the Holy Spirit. Have you ever heard of a temple that does not allow priests inside of it??? What kind of temple would that even be???

    I’m sorry that you hateful, bitter atheists have a problem with these children honoring god with their bodies, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of fun honoring SATAN with your bodies in hell!!!

    Can’t believe I hadn’t seen that before now.

  85. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:10

    I’m sorry that you hateful, bitter atheists have a problem with these children honoring god with their bodies

    I find it hard to believe that’s a serious comment.

  86. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:11

    Therefore honor God with your bodies.

    I erect a monument to him twice a day, sometimes three if I can annoint it with oils.

  87. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:13

    Cannot help but point out here that the 3% of population, 10x the molesting claim does not yield 30:70 percent ratio, but rather:

    P-population*0.03*r-rate-of-molestation*10 : P-population*0.97*r-rate

    Factoring, yields 30:97 or 24:76, 3 to 1, not 2 to 1.

    And that’s taking his ridiculous figures at face value.

  88. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:13

    It’s almost like we accept the rape of women and girls as part of the natural order, but rape of boys and men goes against that and must be stopped.

    cerbs…you can’t be surprised by this can you? or am i just jaded?

  89. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:15

    Have you ever heard of a temple that does not allow priests inside of it??? What kind of temple would that even be???

    this cannot be for realz…but i do find it full of lulz…

  90. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:15

    Guys named Ross still squick me out to this day.

    Guys named Ross have squicked me since Friends.

  91. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:18

    Factoring, yields 30:97 or 24:76, 3 to 1, not 2 to 1.

    Say, you must be one them “scientitians” I keep hearing about.

  92. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:18

    I find it hard to believe that’s a serious comment.

    Well duh.

  93. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:20

    He says that OUR BODIES are TEMPLES of the Holy Spirit. Have you ever heard of a temple that does not allow priests inside of it??? What kind of temple would that even be???

    I’m sure that’s a parody troll, but I’m equally sure plenty of bastards like Sandusky have used a similar line in dead earnest.

  94. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:20

    So after his usual, it’s all the gays fault blather he goes on to reiterate his violent fantasies of death penalty and the suffering of minors, which loses a little bit of its punch when he just hijacked a story to rant about homosexuals.

    So even he is shamed and throws this olive branch in the ring:

    Let me be clear. A heterosexual pedophile who committed such crimes against young girls should likewise be sent to the chair. Forcible rape of anyone used to be a capital offense everywhere in this country and should be so again. When the victims of such savagery are young and vulnerable and at risk the crime is even more heinous, and it matters not whether the abuser is of the same or the opposite sex.

    Really?

    I suspect you’d see your church pews dry up pretty fast if we really did execute anyone who committed forcible rape against someone else. And nice to throw the bone at the end after you showed a complete inability to separate child rape from consensual adult sex because “ewww, the butt”. To be fair, this is the guy who thinks all fornication is evil (my this is a roomy closet, mr. homophobe).

    I’d make a comment about the lack of comments about the Catholic Church, but this guy’s an Evangelical nutjob. Those guys hated the Catholic Church long before they had a reason to. Not that it’s stopped Bryan Fischer to argue that the Church is corrupt because it embraced homosexuality (again with bigots and reality).

    I’m actually pretty lucky. This run isn’t as bad as a Fischer column can get.

    The whole thing is just kind of weak. Yeah, it does the standard Fischer claim of “homosexuals = pedophiles” but I think even he understood that riding that hobby horse is starting to make him look like the obsessed psychotic that he is. He trots out the old lies and the usual Pink Swatzika bullshit that is always running around Homophobe circles, but he seems more invested in just rolling around in imaginary corpses and cheering the execution industry.

    Also, it’s quite apparent from his word choice, that he views sex as far bigger of a crime than assault. He doesn’t even really understand assault further than “rape is bad, I should accuse my enemies of it”. What really cheeses him is that things went “in the out hole” and it’s why these seem to him to be proof that homosexuality is wrong, just like the overwhelming number of heterosexual abusers prove that heterosexuality is wrong…wait, like the overwhelming numbers of child abuse that occur in deeply religious households, especially evangelical…no wait, um, it’s all the fault of the minorities we hate. Ahh, much better.

    Overall, it’s just sad.

    I think he and the other homophobes may have noticed that we’re over the hump with regards to gay rights and the people who used to pay for their mansions by speaking out against homosexuality are finding themselves working against popular opinion and even shunned. They don’t have the stick of the majority anymore. In short, they’ve already lost and all that’s left is the clean-up.

    And frankly, I couldn’t be happier.

  95. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:20

    It’s almost like we accept the rape of women and girls as part of the natural order, but rape of boys and men goes against that and must be stopped.

    Bitches be lyin’ — I don’t think sexual harassment actually happens, as a real thing. Just unfunny women looking for something to be offended by. Besides, she probably enjoyed all that attention.

  96. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:23

    Bryan Fischer isn’t in it for the money and the fame, he’s in it for the anti-gay wanking. Since that doesn’t pay as well as it used to, maybe he and Mags should sign up for a 12-step program for recovering anti-gay wankers.

    Then they can do the talk-show circuit with “Gay American” Jim McGreevey.

  97. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:24

    I think he and the other homophobes may have noticed that we’re over the hump with regards to gay rights and the people who used to pay for their mansions by speaking out against homosexuality are finding themselves working against popular opinion and even shunned. They don’t have the stick of the majority anymore. In short, they’ve already lost and all that’s left is the clean-up.

    I think they’ve always known that, but it has never stopped them from the “darkies raping our white women” trope. It’s a dangerous game, lives have been lost as a direct result of saying shit like this. It doesn’t seem to bother them in the least.

  98. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:24

    bbkf-

    No, no, I’m not surprised. It is the real argument that anti-choicers are actually making and have been making for decades. It’s not even really about the “baby”. It’s about the potential of a son to replace the useless wife and about the man marking his territory in something that is so centered around the woman (hence why “shot out a load” becomes “half the work”).

    But it’s nice when they let their mask slip and we can point it out. That their actions betray that for all their moderate-safe blather, the real debate is about the “proper role” for men and women and really the state of personhood of each.

    And seeing as how that underlies so many “debates” we have in our culture, it’s important to note as often as we can.

  99. jim, finally settling back into his old Quantum Gargling regimen said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:25

    A disproportionately large percentage of pedophilia is also incest.

    Plainly, the prime institution that is menacing children is the family!

    Who will be the hero who finally stands up to the powerful & shadowy forces behind Big Mommy-&-Daddy?

  100. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:26

    Forcible rape of anyone used to be a capital offense everywhere in this country and should be so again.

    Ummmmm, what? How far back is Fischer going when he says “used to be”?

  101. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:28

    I stand corrected. In 1977, SCOTUS ruled that rape of an adult woman is not a capital offense, so it must have been *some*where in the US.

  102. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:29

    Who will be the hero who finally stands up to the powerful & shadowy forces behind Big Mommy-&-Daddy?

    Clearly, Andrew Breitbart must immediately set up the website for the scourge of conservative America.

  103. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:29

    Bryan Fischer isn’t in it for the money and the fame, he’s in it for the anti-gay wanking

    I’ll bet his DVD of 300 has holes burned through it by the laser. “This is Sparta! Guhhhhhh…”

  104. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:31

    Actually, Father Geoghan stated that he preferred to molest little girls but the girls’ mothers had a way of going psycho… so he switched to molesting boys because he figured he could get away with that.

    Another thing not noted nearly enough is that one of the reasons boys have been targeted in the more institutional “scandals” is the culture we have surrounding rape where it is the girls who are there to be raped and boys to be the rapists, thus when a boy gets raped, reporting it can be an admission of being made a “woman” and the cultural backlash from the sexist parts of society.

    The cure of course is more feminism. I.e. the same movement that got us recognizing child molestation at all as a crime and working towards giving kids a language and a culture to report abuses to and get help.

    Not that Bryan “I swear I hate child molestors” Fischer would acknowledge that, nor acknowledge that the current sweet attraction for abusers are retrograde systems as they are more likely to cover up “that which does not fit the image”.

  105. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:31

    powerful & shadowy forces behind Big Mommy-&-Daddy?

    I thought the Bogey Man hid under the bed.

  106. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:32

    And seeing as how that underlies so many “debates” we have in our culture, it’s important to note as often as we can.

    so, what do we do?

  107. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:33

    Ya know, I want to hunt mangoes…but the idea of reading some tripe that goes SO LOW as to use a child-rape scandal to beat up on gays…I just…I don’t even…

  108. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:33

    I’m betting that, if there is a gender discrepancy in the victims, it’s because girls are more closely watched than boys, and get more reinforcement on the “don’t talk to strangers” messages.

    I’d also be willing to bet that good, white, heterosexual males who molest girls are simply not convicted as often.

  109. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:34

    I stand corrected. In 1977, SCOTUS ruled that rape of an adult woman is not a capital offense, so it must have been *some*where in the US.

    If the victim is white and “of good virtue” and the alleged perpetrator is Black. That’s generously assuming it was rape to begin with.

  110. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:34

    BigDaddy would be a loop of one hand fapping, over and over.

    Authoritarians LOVE Big Daddy.

  111. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:36

    actor-

    Forcible rape of anyone used to be a capital offense everywhere in this country and should be so again.

    Ummmmm, what? How far back is Fischer going when he says “used to be”?

    Also not noted is that “forcible rape” of the real variety and not the “we can clear out that uppity n***er what talks about his civil rights by accusing him of raping the woman I raped last night” variety was criminally underacknowledged for centuries.

    And it was only by the hard and tireless work of feminists over decades fighting every step of the way against fuckers like Fischer that we almost kind of sort of have a language and focus of noting and seeing rape as wrong…sometimes.

    But let’s erase that and the fact that the “scandals” demonstrate that the reporting systems have gotten better over time, because really it was all “better” in the before times when we just killed some people, maybe over this issue, who could know? And that’s why feminism and rape activism has only been taking us away from the mythical past where this sort of thing went unreported and thus we could pretend it never happened! Except when the n***er boy got uppity or we needed an excuse to get rid of the nancy boy.

  112. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:37

    BigDaddy would be a loop of one hand fapping, over and over.

    Authoritarians LOVE Big Daddy.

    i refuse to discuss adam sandler movies any more!

  113. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:38

    Another thing not noted nearly enough is that one of the reasons boys have been targeted in the more institutional “scandals” is the culture we have surrounding rape where it is the girls who are there to be raped and boys to be the rapists, thus when a boy gets raped, reporting it can be an admission of being made a “woman” and the cultural backlash from the sexist parts of society.

    True, when it came out during the Boston Archdiocese sex scandal that a Boston-area priest had plied a teenage girl with alcohol, date-raped her, and then (I think) tried to get her to get an abortion, the general response was “meh”.

  114. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:38

    I must admonish Tintin. I have for some time insisted that whenever Brybry gets mentioned it must be accompanied with “[...] of the SLPC identified hate group AFA” or similar. Thank you and carry on.

  115. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:39

    bbkf-

    More feminism. Calling out this shit. Correcting friends. Little things here and there become the mountain of progress.

    In a handful of decades, we’ve actually got a dialogue on rape where before marital rape wasn’t even really recognized and the notions of consent were a hazy illusion even to liberal well-meaning dudes. Things have been improving, so where we go from here is more of the same, improving things ever more until the scum of the universe like Fischer have to evolve or fade away into the “we’d prefer to pretend they don’t exist” bin like the KKK or people who think Italians are too “ethnic”.

  116. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:40

    True, when it came out during the Boston Archdiocese sex scandal that a Boston-area priest had plied a teenage girl with alcohol, date-raped her, and then (I think) tried to get her to get an abortion, the general response was “meh”.

    even the abortion part? man, i would think that would whiz them off big time…because, really, that would be the only sin here, right?

  117. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:41

    I’d also be willing to bet that good, white, heterosexual males who molest girls are simply not convicted as often.

    Not only that, they tend to get slap-on-the-wrist sentences. I knew a woman who was a single mom and working crazy hours who got targeted by one of these creeps (he was after her daughters). She caught onto him after a few months but had to fight tooth and nail in court to make sure he NEVER got a minute of visitation with him. (The older one was 13, so we’re talking the more common kind of pedo who goes after very young teens, rather than the kiddy-diddler sort.)

    This is why women of a certain age often seem to be bit crazy. You try to protect your child against this kind of shit, and no-one will help you.

  118. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:42

    More feminism. Calling out this shit. Correcting friends. Little things here and there become the mountain of progress.

    so, i need to put as much effort into this as i do in my campaigns against the r and g words? i’m willing…but, man…pretty soon EVERY body will avoid me…

  119. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:44

    You know I was reading an entry at Tiger Beatdown about the #mencallemthings thingie on twitter…and Sady was saying that she felt dumb because she actually thought that simply writing on her blog would teach some men about feminism. And a guy piped up and essentially said, “Guess what, you DID teach me.” It was pretty neat. Maybe talking and talking and talking does work.

  120. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:45

    r and g words?

    ratiocination?
    gubernatorial?

  121. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:46

    even the abortion part? man, i would think that would whiz them off big time…because, really, that would be the only sin here, right?

    Despite the Cat-o-licks, Mass. is fairly pro-choice, but I think in general people were too busy wanking over “lost innocence – boo hoo hoo” and didn’t care about someone who was (gasp) 7 years older than some of the younger victims (but still young enough for stat rape charges in Mass. even if it hadn’t been dub or non-con chemically-aided predation). Plus scandal fatigue.

    But in general, prison rapes in MCS of male prisoners? 7-part Spotlight report in Boston Globe. Prison rapes of female prisoners? Eh, not sexy–go with that Framingham Seven story on women who killed their abusive husbands.

    Boston is still VERY patriarchal and both the boy-rape and the abused-women-who-kill are patriarchal-norm-violating (yet still, ultimately, affirming) stories that play well there.

    Women raped? Nobody cares unless there’s a stabbing involved.

  122. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:46

    Shorter Bryan Fischer, of the SLPC identified hate group AFA: “God forgives everyone, except boy-child rapists.”

  123. Whale Chowder said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:46

    my this is a roomy closet, mr. homophobe

    That’s not a closet.

  124. not a gator said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:47

    regret and gin

  125. tsam said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:49

    g word?

  126. Cerberus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:49

    bbkf-

    Not really. By more, I more mean the continuation of what we’ve been doing here and in the real world.

    As the real meaning of “The personal is political” goes, we all have our compromises we make to survive the world as is and not turn into a complete pariah defending what is right. And that’s okay. No one can “fight the good fight” if they aren’t taking care of themselves as well.

    It’s more what the world will need, a good healthy continuation of MOAR FEMINISM! And given that we’ve got douchenozzles like Fischer having to pretend they give a fuck about child molestation as something other than a tool to yell at homosexuals, it works even for people who spend their lives fighting feminism and it’s no, duh observations to the death.

  127. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:52

    so, i need to put as much effort into this as i do in my campaigns against the r and g words?

    Ratatouile? Grenouile?

  128. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:52

    Women raped? Nobody cares unless there’s a stabbing involved.

    sad, but true…

    regret and gin

    i’m involved heavily in both…but would never campaign against…no, i’m the humorless pedantic bitch who rags on anybody that says “retard” or “gay” in an incorrect fashion…my key club kids (freshmen-seniors) have caught on pretty quickly, thus restoring a smidgen of my faith in humanity…

  129. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:54

    no, i’m the humorless pedantic bitch who rags on anybody that says “retard” or “gay” in an incorrect fashion

    Oh man, that’s so gay AND retarded.

  130. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:55

    Oh man, that’s so gay AND retarded.

    ikr?!?!?!?

  131. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 22:55

    no, i’m the humorless pedantic bitch who rags on anybody that says “retard” or “gay” in an incorrect fashion

    and actually, i shouldn’t say humorless, because sometimes i am pretty fucking funneh when making these observations…

  132. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:01

    those are good words to fight. but I still think you are being too soft on ‘gubernatorial’.

  133. N__B said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:05

    heh heh heh

    Helmut said “goober.”

  134. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:05

    those are good words to fight. but I still think you are being too soft on ‘gubernatorial’.

    Right? I mean, who wants to hold an office that sounds like a candy?

  135. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:05

    Homosexual activists will of course lamely argue that since Sandusky is married, he is not a homosexual. Fine, call him bisexual if you will. But his sex crimes are same-sex crimes, and 10-year old boys whose bodies have been cruelly invaded could care less what label homosexual activists want to slap on their abuser.

    Sandusky may not actually be Jewish, but the 10-year-old victims whom I am exploiting do not care whether the Jewish activists want to call him something else, so I shall continue to call him Jewish anyway.

  136. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:06

    Boys will be boys

    Yup. Even in Sweden.

  137. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:06

    Helmut said “goober.”

    and soft…

  138. gocart mozart said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:07

    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/mike-tyson-herman-cain-video-6554479 Because the tea party loves crazy more than they hate blacks.

  139. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:07

    There had to be a law firm with a better name.

  140. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:08

    WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POTATO DILDO GODDAMNIT? I WANT A POTATO DILDO!

  141. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:09

    Right? I mean, who wants to hold an office that sounds like a candy?

    or like this?

  142. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:10

    There had to be a law firm with a better name.

    Beatoff & Suckup?

  143. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:13

    WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POTATO DILDO GODDAMNIT? I WANT A POTATO DILDO!

    Am I going to have to use Google or something? BECAUSE I WILL IF I HAVE TO.

  144. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:14

    Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll come up with something to push it down the list.

    May I?

  145. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:14

    Also it is spelled “POTATOE DILDO.”

  146. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:15

    Boys will be boys

    Yup. Even in Sweden.

    I couldn’t help but notice that above the article about a girl in a Swedish school being raped is an ad for Stockholm University. It is a picture of a young blond woman with the quote “I love studying here.”

  147. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:15

    BECAUSE I WILL IF I HAVE TO.

    Allow me

  148. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:16

    Via, Crooked Timber, Russ Douthat explains how the stark heroism of a football coach — and his membership among the Select — might fool people into that his complicity in child rape “can smell and look like lilies”. Russ congratulates himself for seeing through this casuistry.

  149. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:18

    PENIS.

  150. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:18

    Im so fucking cool. I will single-handedly revive the use of potato-based sex toys.

  151. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:19

    Hipsters are carving them. Vegan. Organic. Orgasmic.

  152. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:20

    ITS CALLED “REPURPOSING.”

  153. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:22

    On Topic:

    His took his work home with him

  154. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:22

    It gives a whole new meaning to Mr. Potato Head!

  155. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:24

    It gives a whole new meaning to Mr. Potato Head!

    I want to meet the girl who has to use fingerlings. That’s my next wife.

  156. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:27

    Also gives a whole new meaning to sweet potato pie.

  157. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:27

    This thread’s really gone down the tubers.

  158. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:28

    This thread’s really gone down the tubers.

    The eyes have it.

  159. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:28

    WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POTATO DILDO GODDAMNIT?

    It was nicked by a vicar.

  160. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:28

    WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POTATO DILDO GODDAMNIT? I WANT A POTATO DILDO!

    jeepers…with as much time and effort you put into your food pron, i would have assumed you to have carved quite a collection by now…and furthermore, with unemployment as high as it is, i find it highly inappropriate for you to be whining about not having a potato dildo…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    hey…are you thinking what i’m thinking?

  161. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:29

    Damn, damn, damn… “in a vicar’s knickers” would have been funnier.

  162. Pryme said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:29

    OK; this made me “heh.”.

  163. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:31

    Yet when she complained she was unsatisfied he replied she should see a doctor – because he definitely knew how to make a woman happy.

    why does this totally not fucking surprise me?

  164. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:31

    OK; this made me “heh.”.

    Tea Titans…heh.

  165. DrDick said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:32

    Of course this completely overlooks the fact that most victims of child sexual abuse are girls (by about 2-3 time the number of boys), while most offenders are men. I do not think the math works the way he wants it to.

  166. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:32

    i find it highly inappropriate for you to be whining about not having a potato dildo…

    I, too, took it for gratin he had a collection.

  167. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:36

    I’d be pretty careful with those potatoes. There are some places I wouldn’t want to catch the blight is all I’m saying.

  168. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:36

    WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POTATO DILDO GODDAMNIT?

    Idaho, but Alaska ’round.

  169. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:37

    I, too, took it for gratin he had a collection.

    oh for dog’s sake…you should be pomme-elled for that one…

  170. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:37

    I’d be pretty careful with those potatoes. There are some places I wouldn’t want to catch the blight is all I’m saying.

    We’ll keep our eyes peeled. Yam might want to give us a heads up if you see some

  171. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:38

    oh for dog’s sake…you should be pomme-elled for that one…

    Gotta chip on your shoulder?

  172. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:39

    WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POTATO DILDO GODDAMNIT?

    And so it begins, the great potato dildo famine of aught twelve.

  173. bbkf said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:39

    Gotta chip on your shoulder?

    no, but you are really starting to fry me!!!

  174. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:39

    And so it begins, the great potato dildo famine of aught twelve.

    Complete with spats and starched collars.

  175. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:40

    no, but you are really starting to fry me!!!

    Why? I’m taking no position on any of this, I’m merely a common tater.

  176. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:42

    Do what you want with consenting tubers, but you will not be held blameless if the price of vodka skyrockets.

  177. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:43

    The best potato dildoes have a French fried tickler attachment.

  178. Thread Bear said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:44

    I understand how you must feel, I can’t deny they’ve got a peal

  179. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:45

    you will not be held blameless if the price of vodka skyrockets.

    Thanks for the reminder

    *adds vodka to the Chopin Liszt*

  180. Willy said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:45

    Why? I’m taking no position on any of this, I’m merely a common tater.

    Don’t sell yourself short, Actor, you’re a Master Tater.

  181. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:47

    Idaho

    Oh yes, you are!

  182. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:48

    Don’t sell yourself short, Actor, you’re a Master Tater.

    I am a spud muffin, true.

  183. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:49

    I got a sack of new potatoes, but I have to be careful: they’re pare-ly legal.

  184. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:52

    The best potato dildoes have a French fried tickler attachment.

    D’oh!

  185. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:52

    They don’t mention what type of spud works best. I’m guessing Red Bliss. Although I suppose Yukon Gold the lily.

  186. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:53

    Although I suppose Yukon Gold the lily.

    Goddamn you, sir.

  187. vacuumslayer said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:55

    BTW, I linked to that article in the last thread. I didn’t Ahem because I’m a nice person.

  188. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:57

    They don’t mention what type of spud works best.

    I think the choice is rather obvious

  189. actor212 said,

    November 14, 2011 at 23:59

    They don’t mention what type of spud works best.

    Or maybe

  190. Thread Bear said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:00

    I think the choice is rather obvious

    Plants are large, upright to spreading… and slightly swollen nodes

  191. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:02

    <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Potato_Eatersan effort to class up this thread…

  192. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:02

    Plants are large, upright to spreading… and slightly swollen nodes

    Makes me wanna mash my potatoes.

  193. Thread Bear said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:03

    I think the choice is rather obvious
    Or perhaps not…
    Yields of Nooksack can be somewhat low as a result of a low tuber set and slow emergency due to long tuber dormancy.

  194. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:03

    <a href=an effort to class up this thread…

  195. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:04

    fuck it…i give up…

  196. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:05

    Yields of Nooksack can be somewhat low as a result of a low tuber set and slow emergency due to long tuber dormancy.

    In my experience, women like a lot of foreplay.

  197. El Manquécito said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:05

    Re: Nooksack

    <i?
    It has high tuber solids….. yields of Nooksack can be somewhat low as a result of a low tuber set and slow emergency due to long tuber dormancy.

    I see some problems with this as a trending recreational spud.

  198. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:05

    fuck it…i give up…

    Giving it a russet?

  199. El Manquécito said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:06

    Preview is a lying defensive line coach.

  200. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:07

    Oh brother

  201. El Manquécito said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:08

    Slowness, tagfail, I now utter the plaintive cry “Hello vodka, it’s me El Manquécito.” and head off to the first oyster roast of the season.

  202. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:11

    and head off to the first oyster roast of the season

    Who’s the headline comic? Who they roasting? Will it be as funny as the Charlie Sheen roast?

  203. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:12

    fuck it…i give up…

    Don’t type tags, make your machine type them for you.

    Download this on Windows machines:

    http://www.autohotkey.com/

    Then look at this:

    http://www.autohotkey.com/docs/Tutorial.htm

    Instead of the instruction “On a new blank line, type the following:
    #space::Run http://www.google.com” replace the stuff after the # with this:

    :R:lnk::<a href="" title="&#8712;&#9728;&#8715;"></a>

    Forever after any time you type “lnk” you’ll get an honest-to-god HTML link. Also includes typographic goatse rollover text.

  204. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:13

    Or rather replace all the stuff from the # INCLUDING the # sign with

    :R:lnk::<a href="" title="&#8712;&#9728;&#8715;"></a>

  205. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:19

    Download this on Windows machines:

    i am always wary of downloading stuff to my computer at work…do not want sadly action detected…that would suck…

  206. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:24

    Well, the cool thing about that program is that you can sell it as a tool: if anyone in the office has repetitive text to write – “Thanks for your message we will delete it right now and ignore you.” – this can type that shit for them in a few keystrokes.

    The code for that would be

    :R:tyfu::Thanks for your message we will delete it right now and ignore you.

    And to get the text you’d type “tyfu”.

    Really, you can be the office hero, at least to be poor e-mail answering rabble.

  207. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:24

    Larry Craig, an expert of potato dildoes, bolsters his tuber with a smaller diameter extension.

  208. VforVirginia said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:27

    Helmut Monotreme said,
    Do what you want with consenting tubers, but you will not be held blameless if the price of vodka skyrockets.

    And no recycling!

  209. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:28

    Mister McGravitas*…always trying to get computers to make life easier, which is unnatural.

    * IF that is his real name!

    ~

  210. Larry Craig said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:41

    Idahomo!

  211. Thread Bear said,

    November 15, 2011 at 0:48

    Larry Craig, an expert of potato dildoes

    That’s more like a potato fleshlight.

  212. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 15, 2011 at 1:23

    That’s more like a potato fleshlight.

    Larry Craig is the sort of guy who’d stick a fleshlight up his ass in order to convince himself that he wasn’t really gay.

  213. Tinkerbell said,

    November 15, 2011 at 1:37

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3_Byy8a6woM/TfuJhqtGZjI/AAAAAAAABhg/usqRwwPmJ1E/s400/WildMan.jpg

    Not this guy?

  214. Major Kong said,

    November 15, 2011 at 2:14

    Ugh. It’s gonna be a rough night. Thunderstorms all the way across the middle of the country.

  215. Whale Chowder said,

    November 15, 2011 at 2:41

    Ugh. It’s gonna be a rough night. Thunderstorms all the way across the middle of the country.

    What YOU need to do is run to the store and buy yourself a potato. Take advantage of that turbulence.

  216. Looch said,

    November 15, 2011 at 2:48

    Ugh. It’s gonna be a rough night. Thunderstorms all the way across the middle of the country.

    Hopefully you don’t have to fly in a south west direction. That’s a very long storm front.

  217. Smut Clyde said,

    November 15, 2011 at 3:05

    It was nicked by a vicar.
    I suspect the innocent potato suffered more extensive damage than merely a nick.

    “My own private Idaho” is never going to sound the same, after these comments.

    His took his work home with him
    Old news.

  218. Whale Chowder said,

    November 15, 2011 at 3:19

    I’m ‘mazed that no one has pointed out that with your own potato, you can have it any way you want it: long and thin or short and fat, curved or straight, cut or uncut.

    So to speak.

  219. Fenwick said,

    November 15, 2011 at 3:59

    All the potato jokes seem sorta half-baked … but I don’t have any skins in the game because I’m still in Mostly Lurker mode.

    Had a consultation with the surgeon this morning. Healing well; no pain.

  220. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 4:02

    Caption contest!

    http://cd.planet-diversity.org/typo3temp/pics/f0072b0353.jpg

  221. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 4:26

    Caption contest!

    I got a bunch of ‘em.

    Also: “Fresh outta lube.”

  222. N__B said,

    November 15, 2011 at 4:35

    Caption contest!

    Look what they done to my boy! They massacred him!

  223. Whale Chowder from his phone said,

    November 15, 2011 at 5:22

    Caption contest!

    “…and then ya gotcher goatse size.”

  224. cowalker said,

    November 15, 2011 at 5:41

    Cerberus said:
    Child molestors are attracted to power. The rush that comes with taking something small and weak and overpowering it completely.

    Yeah, they’d relish describining the terror and pain of a child being hurt in a specific way. Who can imagine getting enjoyment from something like that?

    Psst. Bryan Fischer.

  225. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 15, 2011 at 5:55

    Sandusky tells Bob Costas that he horsed around in the shower with little boys, but he’s no pedophile.

    Incredible.The man still thinks he’s a respected football coach.The full horror of what he did, and what he has been exposed as, hasn’t sunk in on him yet.

    I almost feel sorry for the fucker. Then I remember what he did.

  226. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 15, 2011 at 6:02

    Major Kong said,
    November 15, 2011 at 2:14

    Ugh. It’s gonna be a rough night. Thunderstorms all the way across the middle of the country.

    The boomers came through here (but the lightning didn’t get me).

    Now it’s just rain. Tons and tons of rain.
    ~

  227. gocart mozart said,

    November 15, 2011 at 7:13

    David Duke v. Tintin?!
    http://www.davidduke.com/general/liberal-censorship-of-historical-books_24827.html#more-24827

    Tintin and the Congo

    by Ian Mosley

    Here’s some more wretched rubbish from the home of political correctness gone mad, the U.K. The Daily Telegraph reports: “The Campaign for Real Education has condemned a publisher as over the top for deciding to package one of cartoon character TinTin’s early adventures, Tintin in the Congo, in shrink-wrap and with a warning about its content. Its criticism comes within weeks of the worldwide release of Steven Spielberg’s new film about the boy reporter and his dog Snowy.”

  228. Jennifer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 7:43

    All this talk of potato dildos, and no one mentions the spud shaped like Fidel Castro?

    You know, the Dicktater.

  229. Whale Chowder said,

    November 15, 2011 at 8:12

    Caption contest!

    “So the guy says, ‘I would but I don’t think my ass can take another potato.’”

  230. gocart mozart said,

    November 15, 2011 at 8:20

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4xIxjI6M2g
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApvKSMoPflU&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klJTFqsiv3c
    I hope this will satisfy all you potatophile preverts

  231. paperbagmarlys said,

    November 15, 2011 at 9:49

    Mic Fuck.

    The feed on the OWS site is iffy but there are other better feeds around. It’s hard to tell if the NYPD is going to declare victory and drive away with a couple dumptrucks filled with tents and books (think they’re going to go through it?) or if OWS is going to gather enough supporters to trap the NYPD around the park.

    Tomorrow’s shorter Bryan Fischer: Paterno inspired the NYPD to clean up the dirty condoms and gays in Zuccatti plus did you know gays pepper spray themselves, well they do.

  232. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    November 15, 2011 at 11:00

    Hmmm. So this Fischer guy doesn’t understand the difference between a grown man engaging in mutually desired sex, and a prepubescent boy who doesn’t have a clue what’s going on when an older man does stuff to him? Houston, we have a problem.

    Sorry if this has been said before, I’m ultra-giddily bizzy with the fun part of kuche blitzwaschen 2011. (I have nice things!)

  233. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 15, 2011 at 11:25

    Did West really admit to being the only black member of a “white supremacist motorcycle club?

    Gives new meaning to the term “riding bitch.”

  234. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 12:26

    It’s hard to tell if the NYPD is going to declare victory and drive away with a couple dumptrucks filled with tents and books (think they’re going to go through it?) or if OWS is going to gather enough supporters to trap the NYPD around the park.

    Unfortunately, the NYPD were successful, but they will allow OWS back in, so long as they don’t pitch tents or put anything permanent (like blankets) on the ground.

  235. BringTheNoise said,

    November 15, 2011 at 13:27

    The Campaign for Real Education has condemned a publisher as over the top for deciding to package one of cartoon character TinTin’s early adventures, Tintin in the Congo, in shrink-wrap and with a warning about its content

    How terrible! Putting a warning that a kids’ book from the 30s is hideously fucking racist! Next they’ll be shooting Tories in the street. Or something.

  236. animus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 13:36

    Portraying brutal colonialism as good clean fun = harmless children’s entertainment.
    Portraying two guys who love each other = some kind of freak show that mustn’t be allowed near children.

  237. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    November 15, 2011 at 13:52

    Oh, waiter: on second thought I’ve decided to go with the pasta salad.

  238. Gary Ruppert said,

    November 15, 2011 at 14:56

    The fact is, I am positiviely pumped with hard joy with news the hippys are being hauled away by the NYPD and the Real USA can get back to work.

  239. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    November 15, 2011 at 15:34

    so long as they don’t pitch tents
    NYPD VPR.

  240. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 15:44

    NYPD VPR.

    I don’t think there’s anything veiled: they’re pricks

  241. animus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 15:50

    The protesters are guilty of blasphemy against Randism, and must be destroyed before the infection spreads.

  242. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 15:52

    The protesters are guilty of blasphemy against Randism

    Because goodness knows, they’ve gone Galt. Involuntarily.

  243. El Manquécito said,

    November 15, 2011 at 15:55

    Fischer: I didn’t realize that pedobears could be silvertips.

  244. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 16:45

    Gary Ruppert said,

    November 15, 2011 at 14:56

    The fact is, I am positiviely pumped with hard joy wingnut cock

    FTFY, Rupes.

  245. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 17:08

    Court to Bloomberg: Hey, now! First Amendment, biatch!

  246. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 17:24

    Caption contest!

    this one’s for a special occasion…

  247. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:09

    Ya gotcher potates Dauphinoise, potates Anna, O’Brian, Delmonico and now, introducing potatoes Santorum!

  248. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:13

    potatoes Santorum!

    Olestra?

  249. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:21

    potatoes Santorum!

    ewww…i thought brown foamy substances on your potates meant they had blight…

  250. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:22

    ewww…i thought brown foamy substances on your potates meant they had blight…

    Clearly, you’ve never had poutine.

  251. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:26

    The ad campaign tthey should have done –

    With Olestra you’re always ready for action!

    Ditch the lube tube – Olestra!

    Olestra – the delicious way to prep!

  252. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:27

    Olestra – the delicious way to prep!

    There’s a “Lays” joke in there somewhere.

  253. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:32

    Olestra – the delicious way to prep!

    There’s a “Lays” joke in there somewhere.

    trust me…in that situation, it ain’t no joke…

  254. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:32

    hard joy

    Wut?

  255. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:40

    hard joy

    Wut?

    Sometimes, you feel like a nut. Sometimes, you don’t

  256. tsam said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:41

    Gary knows how to troll. He apparently knows his way around some hard joy as well.

    We’re glad we could be here for you when you come out, Gary. I know that can be traumatic–but always know that we accept you as you are!

  257. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:50

    ewww…i thought brown foamy substances on your potates meant they had blight…

    Brown eye gravy.
    .

  258. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 18:52

    Clearly, you’ve never had poutine.

    sadly, no…but i saw a picture of it yesterday and i’m pretty sure i could be all over that…

  259. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:16

    sadly, no…but i saw a picture of it yesterday and i’m pretty sure i could be all over that…

    So I’m out to lunch a few months ago in the local Irish bar, which is doing a brisk business this day. A table over is a rather….large fellow. He orders a cheeseburger and a diet soda.

    I mean, the man is rotund, to be clear.

    Now, this bar routinely serves fries (or chips…they really ARE Irish) with all sandwiches.

    The meal is served. The man carefully ketchups his burger, takes a bite, wipes his mouth and calls the waitress over, holding his platter up:

    “Can I have some gravy on my fries? Oh, and some cheese on ‘em too?”

    That turned me off poutine for eternity.

  260. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:22

    “Can I have some gravy on my fries? Oh, and some cheese on ‘em too?”

    That turned me off poutine for eternity.

    geeze…thanks, now i’ll never try it!

  261. Major Kong said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:37

    Clearly, you’ve never had poutine.

    Had it once. It was OK but I probably wouldn’t order it again. The gravy makes the fries soggy.

  262. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:43

    That turned me off poutine for eternity.

    Probs a good thing seeing as how you probs can’t get real poutine south of teh border anyways.

    Also too, for regular folks, poutine isn’t really fattening. It’s almost perfectly designed to punch you in teh satiety reflex – so almost no one gets a second serving. But you folks and your perverted ideas of reasonable portion size would ruin poutine for normal humans that aren’t capable of downing five thousand calories in a sitting.

  263. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:44

    Probs a good thing seeing as how you probs can’t get real poutine south of teh border anyways.

    I did wonder if it might have been you, actually, Jonesing for the ‘tine down in the Big Apple.

    I mean, the guy really was as big as your mom!

  264. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:49

    I don’t put ketchup on my burgers. Also, diet soda? In an Irish bar?!?

  265. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:49

    normal humans that aren’t capable of downing five thousand calories in a sitting.

    HEY! the dude had a diet soda! everyone knows that negates the other calories!!!

  266. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:50

    I don’t put ketchup on my burgers. Also, diet soda? In an Irish bar?!?

    It’s not unheard of if you’re taking the cure.

  267. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:50

    I don’t put ketchup on my burgers. Also, diet soda? In an Irish bar?!?

    it’s both the ketchup AND the diet soda…ecccchh…

  268. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:51

    I don’t put ketchup on my burgers. Also, diet soda? In an Irish bar?!?

    it’s both the ketchup AND the diet soda…ecccchh…

    Wow. Neither of you would make it in Noo Yawk.

  269. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:52

    man, i SUCK with a paper cutter…who can tell me where the hell i should be cutting if i’m attempting to cut an 11″ sheet of paper in thirds…?

  270. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:53

    Wow. Neither of you would make it in Noo Yawk.

    ha, ha…srsly, you’ve never seen me in action…i don’t think new yawk could take me

  271. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:54

    It’s not unheard of if you’re taking the cure.

    I guess. But that there is definitive proof that it weren’t me.

    I don’t have a problem with ketchup in general. What else would I have on my grilled cheese sandwiches? But on a burger – no.

  272. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:55

    srsly, you’ve never seen me in action…i don’t think new yawk could take me…

    Bow-chicka-wow-wow

  273. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:56

    who can tell me where the hell i should be cutting if i’m attempting to cut an 11? sheet of paper in thirds…?

    Radial or bias?

  274. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:56

    Bow-chicka-wow-wow

    indeed…now, quick, i need paper dimensions!!!

  275. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:56

    Radial or bias?

    am i not confused enough all ready?

  276. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:56

    I don’t have a problem with ketchup in general. What else would I have on my grilled cheese sandwiches?

    *shaking head*

    What passes for cuisine these days…

  277. Major Kong said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:57

    Neither of you would make it in Noo Yawk.

    I’ve seen your real estate prices. Even on my salary I don’t think I could.

    Or as I’ve explained to Mrs. Kong “No dear, the girls on Sex and the City really couldn’t afford those apartments on what they probably make”.

  278. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:57

    Every 3 & 2/3 inches, silly.

  279. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:58

    Or as I’ve explained to Mrs. Kong “No dear, the girls on Sex and the City really couldn’t afford those apartments on what they probably make”.

    Sure they could, if you count the second job. And by “second job” I mean draining the lifeblood out of every man they date.

  280. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 19:58

    What passes for cuisine these days,,,

    Nice lawn, pops.

  281. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:04

    I swear I had an Olestra haiku on this page once…

  282. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:06

    There’s a “Lays” joke in there somewhere.

    Ouch. I am ashamed I didn’t think of it.

  283. smedley said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:11

    “There’s a “Lays” joke in there somewhere.”

    Some parents need to be more careful in naming their kids. An acquaintance was born of a Hawaiian mother, who named her “Lei.” This may have been a common name in Hawaii, but her schooldays in Texas were brutal.

  284. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:12

    This was a classic:

    Olestra Nazis
    Holocaust in my bowels
    Hindenburg colon

  285. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:15

    Fries of Olestra,
    Gravy made of Olestra,
    Next – fat-free cheese curds.

  286. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:22

    Oh wait, this one was mine:

    This poop angers me
    I am no longer a man
    Just a sad sluice pipe.

  287. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:31

    Teh FDA contributed one too!

    Olestra shows in
    Measures of diarrhea,
    No meaningful rise.

  288. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:37

    Teh FDA contributed one too!

    That was actually Frito-Lay’s, um, output…

  289. tsam said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:40

    Correction, hippies AND Mexicans are lazy shits who need a police induced attitude adjustment.

  290. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:46

    That was actually Frito-Lay’s, um, output,,,

    Wait. You mean teh FDA isn’t an industry lobby group?

  291. El Manquécito said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:46

    I can assure any wandering Canucks or curious Yanks that there is excellent poutine available in the States. Here.

  292. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:46

    Every 3 & 2/3 inches, silly.

    can you come over so i have an accurate guide to measure with? again, i really suck with measuring…hubbkf has a strange idea of what 12″ is…

  293. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:49

    Olestra Nazis
    Holocaust in my bowels
    Hindenburg colon

    this completely sums up every trip i’ve taken with my sister…but she doesn’t need the olestra to make it happen…we are no longer welcome at many places across the globe…

  294. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:50

    Just a sad sluice pipe.

    this line is a thing of beauty…

  295. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:52

    ,,,there is excellent poutine available in the States.

    That Duckfat Original Shake had better have duck fat in it.

  296. DAS said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:57

    Testicles are meant to roam free.

    Why do I now have the song “Born Free” in my head?

  297. Whale Chowder said,

    November 15, 2011 at 20:59

    A phony oil
    Induces rivers of poo
    Olestra Macht Fries

  298. Whale Chowder said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:00

    Why do I now have the song “Born Free” in my head?

    Perfectly reasonable if you’ve named ‘em Clarence and one of ‘em is cross eyed.

  299. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:01

    this completely sums up every trip i’ve taken with my sister…but she doesn’t need the olestra to make it happen…we are no longer welcome at many places across the globe…

    Have you seen “Bridesmaids ” yet?

  300. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:03

    Olestra Macht Fries

    I laughed.

  301. Willy said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:04

    sluice pipe

    That song by Weezer is kewl.

  302. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:05

    This is what cute Brazilian restaurants do to you.

  303. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:06

    no…but it’s on my must see list…

  304. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:07

    YOU
    HAVE
    TO
    SEE
    IT.

    It was like somebody in Hollywood finally said, “Oh yeaaaaaaaaah, women are funny too! Who knew?!”

  305. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:09

    This is what cute Brazilian restaurants do to you.

    I expect zero goatse complaints from this moment forward.

  306. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:11

    This is what cute Brazilian restaurants do to you.

    z.o.m.g. the chick on the sink is totally my sister…that reminds me of our trip to the grand ol’ opry…

  307. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:12

    imma see if i can score a copy before we go to s.d. this weekend…it is priceless to see hubbkf crack up at these things…

  308. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:12

    COmpletely unsurprisingly, Portland has poutine AND vegan poutine.

    http://www.potatochampion.com/Menu

  309. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:14

    I FINALLY HAVE THREE EQUAL PIECES OF PAPER…let the mass cutting commence!

  310. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:15

    “Substance McGravitas said,
    November 15, 2011 at 21:09

    This is what cute Brazilian restaurants do to you.

    I expect zero goatse complaints from this moment forward.”

    The day I stop teasing you about goatse will be the day the Internet died.

  311. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:16

    bbkf–Melissa mcCarthy: comedy goddess.

  312. tsam said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:31

    What a surprise

  313. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:36

    can you come over so i have an accurate guide to measure with? again, i really suck with measuring…hubbkf has a strange idea of what 12? is…

    Nothing on me is 3 and 2/3 inches, despite the rumours.

  314. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:41

    Nothing on me is 3 and 2/3 inches, despite the rumours.

    hey now…i meant you could show me where the 2/3 mark is on the ruler!

  315. Major Kong said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:43

    Nothing on me is 3 and 2/3 inches, despite the rumours.

    “Who do you think you’re going to please with that little thing?”

    “Um, me?”

  316. Aunt Acid said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:45

    Some girls like it that thick!

  317. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:45

    hey now…i meant you could show me where the 2/3 mark is on the ruler!

    8/12 of an inch

  318. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:49

    I FINALLY HAVE THREE EQUAL PIECES OF PAPER

    O my, I am so tempted to make that the tagline on my blog.

  319. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:51

    Have you seen “Bridesmaids ” yet?

    Yes! I followed your recommendation and asked Clouds to pick it up at Blockbuster. Sometimes he comes home from the video store and says,”I’m sorry. I could only get— uh this was the only new movie, and—well— And then I say, “It’s a rom-com?” He shuffles his feet, looks at floor, sighs. I say, “It’s o.k. It’s not your fault. If that’s all they had, that’s all they had.”

    I HATE ROMANTIC COMEDIES. THEY ARE (MOSTLY) AND ABOMINATION.

  320. Major Kong said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:53

    Have you seen “Bridesmaids ” yet?

    We just got it from Netflix. We’re going to watch it when I get home from this trip.

  321. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:54

    But “Bridesmaids” was wonderful. That was the first time I cared whether or not the main characters in a movie mated. I was really rooting for both of them. Their first date was perfect, they had a conversation with witty repartee and revealed quite a bit about themselves in the process. None of the women characters were a stereotypical character. The main man was adorable.

  322. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 21:55

    O my, I am so tempted to make that the tagline on my blog.

    my feats of intellect have been inspiration to many…

  323. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:01

    Their first date was perfect, they had a conversation with witty repartee and revealed quite a bit about themselves in the process.

    So it was totally made up fantasy shit.

  324. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:04

    In today’s Curious Connections:

    Wonkette has a potato thread, too….

  325. Smut Clyde said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:04

    Olestra Macht Fries

    We are all procterlogists now.

  326. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:13

    It never occurred to me to classify “Bridesmaids” as a romantic comedy. If there was any romance in the film, it was the romance of friendship. Heck, some of the funniest parts in the film were when Kristen Wiig’s character was flipping out because she was jealous of her best friend’s other new friend.

    I guess that’s why SATC always resonated with me. IMO it was never about sex, it was about the friendship of the four women. Anyway, that’s what sappy old me got out of it.

  327. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:14

    If you think about it, great, deep, abiding friendships are kind of like an epic romance. You have those ups and downs, the giddiness, the fights, the “I can’t imagine my life without this person” moments. I mean, great friends are like platonic soul mates.

  328. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:20

    I mean, great friends are like platonic soul mates.

    I like to think of them as stepping stones as I claw and climb my way to the next great stepping stone friendship

  329. tsam said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:20

    I struggled with Bridesmaids. But then I struggle with female friendship dynamics anyway. When it all wrapped up, I ended up liking it, though.

    One important observation–every character represented a human side–good side, bad side, strength and weakness…there weren’t villians and heroes, aside from her super-douche fuckbuddy. What a dick that guy was.

    “You’re no longer my number 3!”

    This demonstrates a clear need for guns in our society.

  330. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:23

    But then I struggle with female friendship dynamics anyway.

    I like to wait for the cat fights, then demand more hair pulling.

  331. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:24

    okay, you people are flirting dangerously close to RUINING THE FUCKING MOVIE FOR ME!!!

  332. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:25

    OK, I’m zipping up now.

  333. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:29

    But then I struggle with female friendship dynamics anyway.

    That doesn’t seem like you at all.

  334. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:30

    OK, I’m zipping up now.

    Damn. I need one of those Innertube TiVOs.
    .

  335. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:33

    okay, you people are flirting dangerously close to RUINING THE FUCKING MOVIE FOR ME!!!

    See, there’s this chick who’s getting married, only she’s not completely clear that it’s the right guy, so her friends….

    Well, I figured if we needed to talk about it, you ought to be part of the convo.

  336. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:47

    Well that was certainly a big win for Bloombank and Bankfield Properties.

    +1 to whomever it was that pointed out taht NYPD are occupying Zuccotti Park and we’re just now trying to figure out what their demands are.

  337. tsam said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:48

    That doesn’t seem like you at all.

    There’s a huge difference between understanding and being understanding. Yes?

  338. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:50

    Nuts. That was this morning’s court order. Still waiting on Michael Stallman. uh d00d, even I can judge that it’s past 3pm.

  339. El Manquécito said,

    November 15, 2011 at 22:55

    COmpletely unsurprisingly, Portland has poutine AND vegan poutine.

    Go on. Next you’ll be telling me that Dot’s has cheese fries.

  340. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:02

    Still waiting on Michael Stallman. uh d00d, even I can judge that it’s past 3pm

    Twitter’s alive with claims from OWS that they won the battle.

  341. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:10

    Yeah, rumours flying liek crazy – but all of them point back to a CNN Report based on Lucy Billing’s injunction from this morning. Stallman presided over this afternoon’s hearing and said he hoped to have a decision by an hour ago.

  342. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:12

    Good news though, teh Occupied Library is safe.

  343. Whale Chowder said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:21

    What a surprise

    Yeah, as if the fix weren’t already in with Fat Tony and PubeCan.

  344. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:25

    Good news though, teh Occupied Library is safe.

    what’s the deal with the *library*?

  345. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:29

    what’s the deal with the *library*?

    It’s a collection of over five thousand donated books. Here is a useful link, and here is a much less useful link.

  346. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:30

    It’s a collection of over five thousand donated books. Here is a useful link, and here is a much less useful link.

    thank you, kind sir…

  347. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:30

    Good news though, teh Occupied Library is safe.

    Good, cuz I sent a crate of books and videos down there.

    And some porn of your mom.

  348. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:31

    And some porn of your mom.

    d00d, they gots teh wireless intarweebs down there and can just sign on for her regular camsho,,, uh,,, I mean YOUR MOM’S TEH WHORE!

  349. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:39

    here is a much less useful link.

    ha, ha…i am prolly the only person who actually enjoys getting rick roll’d…my bar boss and i have some pretty mad dance skillz when it comes to our boy ricky a…

  350. bbkf said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:39

    Good, cuz I sent a crate of books

    pop-up books?

  351. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:42

    Dudes…JEALOUS?!!!

  352. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:46

    Good, cuz I sent a crate of books

    pop-up books?

    I’ll have you know they were leather-bound editions of Marx and Lenin. And five other old timey comedians.

  353. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:47

    Dudes…JEALOUS?!!!

    Not really. You see how bad his split ends were? Ewwww! I wouldn’t be caught dead with hair that chewed up!

  354. Cerberus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:50

    Buried at the bottom, the reason for the shut down.

    The Tuesday morning eviction of Zuccotti Park comes ahead of plans by the protesters to “shut down” Wall Street on Thursday — to mark the two-month anniversary of their movement.

    I guess they hoped tying up the protestors in a legal battle and a bullshit war with the cops will prevent their planned “shut down”.

    Given the usual record after the cops do stupid shit that just makes them look like the authoritarian assholes and paid henchmen of the rich that they are, I’m guessing that this is only going to make Thursday bigger and far better attended.

    I will say one thing about all the attempts to compare this to “smelly hippies who miss the 60s”. The cop responses are about as myopic and self-damaging as they were back in the 60s.

    Durr, we keep on giving them an enemy and showing them the system hates them and is corrupt and yet they still protests the corrupt system. I dunno what we do rong!

  355. vacuumslayer said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:50

    Ooooooh, Bobo fans!!!!! I have a doozy for you!!! You want to click. You know you do. You’re hemming and hawing, but your finger will betray you. Just click. Just do it. You’ll be sorry.

  356. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:55

    You’re hemming and hawing, but your finger will betray you.

    You just leave my thinger out of it, Missy. Unless you’re ready to turn the webcam back on.
    .

  357. Cerberus said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:56

    Also buried at the bottom is that despite a court order pointing out that they are in defiance of the first amendment in no short order and don’t have a prayer to stand on

    city officials will enforce a ban on camping in the park with an around-the-clock police presence.

    Is it just me, or has “openly ignoring judge’s orders as if they were toilet paper” the big new thing these days. We had Gov. Walker openly ignoring court orders, we have had NOM openly ignoring court decisions to disclose their donor’s lists (after previously ignoring state laws), and we have the cops here just balls out refusing to comply with a court injunction and having the balls to claim that they are doing so to “defend the law”.

    I’m not sure what the distance between “a large number of officials and citizens openly ignore laws and court orders” and “failed state and/or police state” is, but I’m worried it’s much closer than it really has any place being.

  358. actor212 said,

    November 15, 2011 at 23:58

    I guess they hoped tying up the protestors in a legal battle and a bullshit war with the cops will prevent their planned “shut down”.

    I’m not sure I agree, Cerb. If anything, forcing the protestors out makes it easier for them to be mobile.

  359. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:00

    I have a doozy for you!!!

    oh, he is reprehensible!!! also, i know damn well that if i happened upon that shower scene, i may not have been all in your face and karate chopping cuz i do not have fast reflexes…nope, i would have probably stood there staring…processing…and then been like, ‘ehhh…sure you should be doing that?’ i would like to think i would be all in their kicking sandusky in the nutz, but i’m not that person…but i wouldn’t have let the situation continue…and the young man and i would have been making a report immediately after…

  360. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:01

    title of every bobo column:

    Let’s All Feel, I AM Superior

  361. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:03

    Oh and douche award goes to Mayor Bloomberg.

    “Protesters have had two months to occupy the park with tents and sleeping bags,” the mayor said. “Now they will have to occupy the space with the power of their arguments.”

    I mean just on its own its the sort of bullshit you’d see in a dystopian novel spouted out of the mouth of the stock villain.

    But the context wherein there is a first amendment and a court order, not to mention the permits, that say that the protestors have every right to be there, just makes it into a perfect distillation of douchery.

    Especially with the “occupy it with the power of their arguments” horseshit.

    What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?

    And the douchery continues when you realize that the protestors have the “argument” won clean, hence why the status quo has been forced to rely mostly on brute force and distraction tactics rather than simply deconstructing and laying waste to the arguments of the protestors.

    I mean, on every level, I just find more smug douchery.

    The henchmen of the rich and the rich themselves really won’t be happy until they’ve pushed the rest of us to invade their homes and turn their intestines into garland, won’t they?

  362. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:05

    Oh and douche award goes to Mayor Bloomberg.

    As if it hadn’t been retired to him when he ran for a third term, despite A TERM LIMITS LAW on the books.

  363. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:07

    These vocabularies made people aware of how their weaknesses manifested themselves and how to exercise discipline over them. These systems gave people categories with which to process savagery and scripts to follow when they confronted it. They helped people make moral judgments and hold people responsible amidst our frailties.

    yes, bobo…the salem witch trials are a splendid example of this…

  364. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:08

    actor-

    I’m not sure I agree, Cerb. If anything, forcing the protestors out makes it easier for them to be mobile.

    Oh, I strongly agree that this isn’t at all going to stop the protestors. I was noting what the Mayor and the cops thought processes were and why they were going all in now rather than earlier or later.

    But yeah, like all the cop over-reaches, this is just going to encourage more people to join in the protests and make it even more morally imperative for locals to support the protestors.

    I’m reminded of what happened in Oakland after the douchery there, especially the huge number that ended up turning up for the general strike and participating in the marches.

    If anything, this stunt is just going to double or triple the attendance for Thursday’s action.

    For all these authoritarians and their worshippers think constantly about the hippies, they sure didn’t learn anything for their clashes with them, specifically how making martyrs of protestors because you don’t have a counter-argument just makes them more popular and harder to “shut down”.

  365. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:09

    Test, did I break the tags of the site?

  366. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:10

    I have a doozy for you!!!
    Oh and douche award goes to Mayor Bloomberg.

    As if it hadn’t been retired to him when he ran for a third term, despite A TERM LIMITS LAW on the books.

    is there a limit on how many times one can win the douche award? cuz bobo is in the running for it again…

  367. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:10

    *sigh*

    It ain’t over yet, I’m sure.

  368. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:11

    I was noting what the Mayor and the cops thought processes were and why they were going all in now rather than earlier or later.

    The rationale is pretty evident: Brookfield Properties wanted the park cleared out. Bloomberg, as mayor, kowtowed.

  369. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:13

    actor-

    As if it hadn’t been retired to him when he ran for a third term, despite A TERM LIMITS LAW on the books.

    I guess if ignoring the laws openly doesn’t have real consequences (as it would if you were a young black man ignoring laws about what you’re allowed to light up) then why not have that entire segment of the population just start acting like the laws don’t apply to them.

    Which is worrisome. We’ve always had one set of rules for the rich and one for the poor and we’ve always had no real consequences for rich person crimes. But now, even the rich’s handlers in the Republican Party are just openly breaking laws and ignoring court decisions they don’t like because “hey, it doesn’t apply to their team”. And worse yet, not being at all subtle about it.

    I’m not sure how much further they can push that before the little people start wondering about exactly the value of “justice and laws” and decide to just wholesale and collectively decide to ignore them themselves.

  370. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:16

    So cops have a Manhattan Supreme Court Judge and the protestors have a New York Supreme Court Judge.

    I’m pretty sure the protestors court order trumps.

  371. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:19

    So cops have a Manhattan Supreme Court Judge and the protestors have a New York Supreme Court Judge.

    I’m pretty sure the protestors court order trumps.

    No, actually. The OWS judge issued a TRO, which she said she would review this afternoon. In the interim, the state supreme court (they’re both state judges IIRC) took her off the case and put Stallman on. He ruled on her TRO

  372. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:21

    In fairness to the state, she wasn’t supposed to be the judge who issued any TRO. OWS went to her knowing she’d be sympathetic, but they were really supposed to call the emergency number.

    They called that number second, told them Billings was already working on it, and the hotline folks agreed to let her continue since she was involved, but that it would not necessarily mean she’d hear the case.

  373. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:27

    Hoo, boy, Bobo.

    Well, it makes sense that someone who has spent his life presenting himself as a craven coward and wholesale defender of the status quo as if that was a principled stand for “moderation” would feel a bit personally attacked when people noted Patterno’s cowardice and moral failure.

    And interesting that he so readily identified first and foremost with people aware of a giant crime who decide participating in the cover up is better than trying to make things right (hey, he’s the one who later on makes the connections to Wall Street and the right’s defense of torture, so that personal pang of guilt is all on him).

    But yeah, to defend the indefensible he misunderstands the Bystander Effect (people in a crowd are less likely to individually intervene does not mean that no one will intervene in private, also does not mean that people won’t report it later).

    He also uses an example where an interviewer for a job (you know a position of immense power) saying something offensive wouldn’t get much pushback from the interviewee.

    You know, because the economy is in the shitter and an interviewee wants to get hired and the interviewer tends to be a meaningless peon anyways, so yeah a lot of people will accept a lot of abuse what with there not being an adequate safety net in this country.

    But yeah, he uses it all to try and argue that people inherently go for cover up when encountering bad things so really it was the people who covered up Sandusky’s attacks and didn’t even go to the police with them thus deliberately making themselves co-conspirators who are the real victims here.

    So really we should forgive all the lowly henchmen and cowards who try and cover up and shine up the unforgivable crimes of history’s monsters.

    I don’t know why, but there seems to be some personal reason Bobo feels this is important. I just don’t know what.

    Hint to Bobo, if you find yourself identifying with the villains in the big scandal, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with all of us.

  374. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:30

    actor-

    Ah, so they called in a fix by having the “computer randomly pick” a stoolie so they wouldn’t have to work with a court injunction from someone who actually knows the first amendment and what rights that grants.

    Yeah, you’re right, that’s going to get ugly before it gets better.

  375. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:34

    it is sooo windy here i lost an earring…and they were knew…son of a…

  376. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:40

    And a Bobo mango:

    But we’re not Puritans anymore. We live in a society oriented around our inner wonderfulness. So when something atrocious happens, people look for some artificial, outside force that must have caused it — like the culture of college football, or some other favorite bogey. People look for laws that can be changed so it never happens again.

    Commentators ruthlessly vilify all involved from the island of their own innocence. Everyone gets to proudly ask: “How could they have let this happen?”

    The proper question is: How can we ourselves overcome our natural tendency to evade and self-deceive. That was the proper question after Abu Ghraib, Madoff, the Wall Street follies and a thousand other scandals. But it’s a question this society has a hard time asking because the most seductive evasion is the one that leads us to deny the underside of our own nature.

    Yes, evasion, completely unlike what Bobo is doing here.

    Nope, it’s all of you who should be ashamed of yourselves, what with looking at events that happen and trying to figure out “new laws” that can “prevent it from happening again”, possibly by creating ways to encourage actual compliance with laws or make it easier to catch the criminal even when a cover-up is trying to protect them.

    Instead we should just be wallowing in how we’re fundamentally flawed creatures whose base Earthly natures can never be altered or adjusted for and we should just accept bad things and cover-ups as the necessary suffering that is our lot for the crime of Original Sin.

    I mean, geeze, we’re not Puritans anymore, so why act like a modern civilization adapting to sociopaths in a dense modern environment when we could act like those fussy little Calvinists who wore funny hats and lived in the Northeast. God, what were there names? I can’t remember, but I do know they weren’t puritans.

    Really no one could help not intervening when they see something horrible, not reporting it to the police, and openly participating in a cover-up to save the reputation of their school or political affiliation instead. And we should admonish ourselves about how much of a Fallen People we are even if we didn’t support that horseshit, rather than asking unfortunate questions about what types of cultures, attitudes, or behaviors lead to cultures like Penn State or Abu Ghraib. Understanding is the devil’s brew after all, much unlike the burning of witches to ensure good harvest.

    Seriously though, it’s sad that Bobo looked at Patterno’s actions and saw his own face. Or at least it wouldn’t be if he didn’t sell his soul long ago to defend the indefensible and try and deny over the nastiness in his political ideology. I hope that glimpse was haunting as fuck, Bobo. I hope it gives you nightmares for a good long year.

    It’s the least you deserve.

  377. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:49

    I mean, geeze, we’re not Puritans anymore, so why act like a modern civilization adapting to sociopaths in a dense modern environment when we could act like those fussy little Calvinists who wore funny hats and lived in the Northeast. God, what were there names? I can’t remember, but I do know they weren’t puritans.

    right? but obviously we can’t because We live in a society oriented around our inner wonderfulness.

    nope…we haven’t learned from history at all…the people who cry, ‘outrage’ at things like abu ghraib, madoff, wall street, penn state…nope, they’re just lone voices in the wilderness, bobo…wtf?

    yer right cerbs…it’s not people wanting to make up new laws for these things not to happen…there are laws on the books already…it’s getting the ‘cultures’ who believe they are above the laws and everybody else to actually follow the laws that’s the problem…

  378. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:59

    bbkf-

    Yeah, that throwaway line is almost too stupid to parse. Um. a society “oriented around our inner wonderfulness” i.e. a society based in utopic thinking or a belief in a utopic society doesn’t have laws by definition.

    Utopic thinking doesn’t have laws or attempts to adapt to bad things happening, because it believes that human nature is perfect as is and thus attempts to restrain it will just lead to invented problems. You know, like libertarianism.

    What he’s arguing against is the attempt to create laws and to force them to be enforced against those who break them or who aid others in breaking them without being caught by authorities.

    In short, basically he spent the final three paragraphs spinning in place with as much projection as he could muster to try and disguise that his entire response was “don’t blame craven cowards like me for covering up for the socopaths of America”.

  379. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:06

    What he’s arguing against is the attempt to create laws and to force them to be enforced against those who break them or who aid others in breaking them without being caught by authorities.

    which we all know he does. not. want. that might put a stop to his wingnut welfare checks…

  380. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:09

    That was the proper question after Abu Ghraib, Madoff, the Wall Street follies and a thousand other scandals.

    Something of a common theme about Brooks’ examples… a certain period in history, a certain party in government representing a particular philosophy… No, I can’t put my finger on it, let’s just say Society Is Liberals are to Blame.

  381. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:09

    And of course the big giant log of POOP in Bobo’s always wrong bank is of course that none of the cowardice really applies to the cover-up.

    Let’s say Patterno and the other bigwigs were “stunned” into moral lapse. That really doesn’t explain not going to the cops afterwards or even calling and leaving an anonymous tip or hell, even just firing him immediately and leaving quiet word that this guy wasn’t to be picked up no matter what.

    Those actions would have been “cowardly” and shown someone unwilling to intervene directly and make themselves a target, but it wouldn’t have been criminal conspiracy.

    Like with the majority of molestation “scandals”, it really is the cover-up that really makes it an institutional problem rather than “whoops, we hired a sociopath”.

    And it’s the reason that Patterno is getting his share of red ink.

    Because he decided that having the best line in college football was worth the shattered innocence of who knows how many children.

    But yeah, again, it’s understandable that Bobo would sympathize with the cover-up crew, seeing as how he’s been one of the “in highest regard” members of the GOP’s media clean-up crew.

  382. Pupienus Maximus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:17

    Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 0:09 (kill)

    Test, did I break the tags of the site?

    Nah. To break the whole thread you have to ….

    Wait. I’ll get an anonynous IP to give you the instructions – Tintin just *hates* it when someone does that.

    Wait …

  383. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:19

    Oooh, are we breaking tags again? Because that’s FUN!

  384. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:27

    Oooh, are we breaking tags again? Because that’s FUN!

    i KNOW! one of my first posts here ever was a major tag fail eff-up that required tintin to fix it…

    but i am not a coward…oh, no! i came back for more…and persisted until i was able to post here among you all with no shame, and very few tagfails…

  385. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:28

    so, screw you, bobo! you don’t know me!

  386. animus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:51

    Back in 2002, a whole lot of people made arguments for war that they knew to be lies. It would be silly to suggest that this represented some kind of moral lapse on the part of those who dutifully reported these lies without question.

  387. animus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 1:53

    As we approach the fortieth anniversary of the Watergate break-in, you’d think that people would learn that it’s always the cover-up that gets you.

  388. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 2:03

    you’d think that people would learn that it’s always the cover-up that gets you.

    yeah, you would, wouldn’t ya?

  389. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2011 at 2:24

    Just for fun.

  390. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2011 at 2:41

    As far as I can tell, Brooks is saying that all the people heaping moral condemnation upon Paterno are simply deluding themselves,* and that’s why we need to return to a bygone era when people would have heaped moral condemnation upon Paterno.

    * Extrapolating from his insight that given Paterno’s power to intervene, he personally wouldn’t have used it either.

  391. tigris said,

    November 16, 2011 at 2:42

    We live in a society oriented around our inner wonderfulness.

    I can see why living in a society where he gets paid to write for a major newspaper, and what’s more is actually taken seriously by otherwise seemingly sane people, might lead him to think that. It’s certainly not oriented around any apparent outer wonderfulness, at least.

  392. N__B said,

    November 16, 2011 at 2:50

    is there a limit on how many times one can win the douche award?

    And now I’ve got in my head:

    Douche
    Douche
    Douche
    Douche of earl
    Earl
    Earl

  393. gocart mozart said,

    November 16, 2011 at 2:55

    Will someone get Herman Cain a goddamn glass of water fer krissakes!
    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/herman-cain-libya-interview-6562355

  394. Smut Clyde said,

    November 16, 2011 at 3:02

    It’s the Lunch Lady!!

  395. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 3:23

    gocart mozart-

    Sounds like Vice President material!

  396. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    November 16, 2011 at 3:37

    It’s the Lunch Lady!!

    Miskatonic School for Girls? My old girlfriend, Asenath, went there. Poor thing really went to pieces.

  397. gocart mozart said,

    November 16, 2011 at 3:43

    Newton/Herman 2012
    Suckit Bitches!

  398. gocart mozart said,

    November 16, 2011 at 3:45

    “Sounds like Vice President material!”

    I think under the Constitution the Vice President is supposed to get the fuckin’ water!

  399. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2011 at 3:59

    Aw, ferfucksakes

  400. vacuumslayer said,

    November 16, 2011 at 4:05

    “He’s the model citizen, the guy you want your daughter to date”

    ORLY?

    Inane space-filling drivel like this may be even too dumb for “Parade” magazine

  401. gocart mozart said,

    November 16, 2011 at 4:08

    Hogeye,
    Now they’re putting the name of an undocumented immigrant (prolly messican) on the back of their jerseys! Color me surprised.

  402. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 16, 2011 at 4:09

    I think under the Constitution the Vice President is supposed to get the fuckin’ water!

    Didn’t Dumbya slap Andy Card into fetchin’ cheeseburgers, once?
    .

  403. sparks said,

    November 16, 2011 at 5:22

    Next – fat-free cheese curds.

    Why not? There’s already fat-free half & half.

  404. Whale Chowder said,

    November 16, 2011 at 6:19

    Sports is one thing, and Jesus is another thing,”

    Holy fuck, YA THINK?

  405. Whale Chowder said,

    November 16, 2011 at 7:23

    I swear, it was dead when I got here.

  406. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    November 16, 2011 at 7:59

    I swear, it was dead when I got here.

    Poke it with a stick!
    .

  407. Whale Chowder said,

    November 16, 2011 at 8:15

    Pining for the fjords?

  408. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    November 16, 2011 at 9:19

    So it was totally made up fantasy shit.

    No it was a lot like my experiences meeting men I grew to love.

  409. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2011 at 10:44

    Oh and douche award goes to Mayor Bloomberg.

    I’m thinking the douche award gets shared by Obama and Homeland Security.

  410. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2011 at 10:51

    Projection, thy name is Bobo.

    Some people suffer from Motivated Blindness; they don’t see what is not in their interest to see.

  411. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2011 at 11:10

    I’m not sure how much further they can push that before the little people start wondering about exactly the value of “justice and laws” and decide to just wholesale and collectively decide to ignore them themselves.

    Hey. They made it through eight fucking years of the Bush Administration and its wholesale destruction of the DOJ, wars of aggression, torture, sucking dry the Treasury, bank fraud, etc., etc., etc.

    Lawlessness is the name of the game. The sky’s the limit.

  412. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 12:27

    Hogeye-

    I’m definitely not an O-bot, but I’ll let him off the hook on this one for this one simple reason. He has been able to appoint balls-anyone to any of his departments so the DOJ and DHS that he’s been working with has been a largely Bush-appointee affair, and we all know how those were run/taken over to be wingnut welfare for people who really wanted an excuse to push around hippies and not investigate real crimes.

    So, yeah, not at all surprised to see the Bush SS working for their real paymasters.

  413. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 12:44

    Ah, so they called in a fix by having the “computer randomly pick” a stoolie so they wouldn’t have to work with a court injunction from someone who actually knows the first amendment and what rights that grants.

    I’m actually ok with the process: why should any judge be available 24 hours a day? It’s done on a rotating basis, so it’s pick of the draw. I’m sure the schedule is published in advance and I’m pretty sure Bloomberg knew this going in.

    But I really don’t have a problem with this.

  414. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 12:48

    So it was totally made up fantasy shit.

    No it was a lot like my experiences meeting men I grew to love.

    So it was totally made up of YOUR fantasies?

  415. wiley the intrepid go and get some mangos said,

    November 16, 2011 at 13:05

    ha ha, actor. Why so cynical? You not getting lucky? You not having sex freely like lion cubs rolling around in the sunshine? You’re fairly young, aren’t you?

  416. John Revolta said,

    November 16, 2011 at 13:30

    He has been able to appoint balls-anyone to any of his departments

    Wait, what?

    I mean yeah, he’s been getting stonewalled pretty good. But that’s a pretty good list, esp. at DOJ & DHS. Particularly for a guy with a pathological aversion to twisting arms.

  417. John Revolta said,

    November 16, 2011 at 14:07

    And if that sounds like I’m trying to stick up for the guy, well, I’m not.

    What I’m getting at is that anything Obama hasn’t been getting done, especially in his first two years, is down to him. Meester Spirit of Bipartisan Compromise.

    And if that sounds like I’m bitter, well, I am.

  418. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 15:20

    And now I’ve got in my head:

    whoa…way worse than roaming testicles…

  419. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 15:25

    Aw, ferfucksakes

    this seems to be treading pretty close to the do not honor other gods before me doesn’t it?

  420. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 16:49

    You not having sex freely like lion cubs rolling around in the sunshine? You’re fairly young, aren’t you?

    Compared to the Great Wall of China, yes.

  421. actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 16:51

    Particularly for a guy with a pathological aversion to twisting arms.

    But not for an office which is supposed to get rubber stamps on practically every appointment.

  422. Roman Testicles said,

    November 16, 2011 at 16:51

    way worse than roaming testicles…

    It could be worse, it could be Greek Scrotum

  423. Ted the Slacker said,

    November 16, 2011 at 17:27

    Was only a matter of time…

    Lawyers for OWS get the usual treatment from the usual suspects.

    My favorite line of fauxtrage – “He has represented no fewer than four men with connections to terrorism, basing his arguments on legal technicalities.” Fucking lawyers, demanding their clients’ consistutional rights are protected.

  424. Actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 17:38

    From Ted’s link:

    And her role may not have been coincidental; the Daily News reports: “Asked why they called her first, protest lawyer Daniel Alterman wouldn’t say, remarking that he’s not a ‘gossip guy.’”

    Went right to the “carpet munching” charge, I see. Stay classy, NRO!

  425. Actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 17:39

    basing his arguments on legal technicalities

    “Your honor, it goes to eleven!”

  426. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 16, 2011 at 17:40

    but I’ll let him off the hook on this one for this one simple reason.

    And I will not. Show me evidence Obama’s Administration isn’t doing exactly what he wants it to do.

    Obama appointed Holder, Geithner, Panetta (to the CIA and then the D.O.D.), and Ken Salazar, who promptly begin “Bush’s 3rd Term” at Interior.

    No one made Obama pick former Senator from a tiny state (and total wingnut asshole) Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles (“Democrat” known chiefly for his expressed desire to cut Social Security) to a ‘bipartisan deficit commission’.

    Obama’s Administration is a collection of right-wing corporate bagmen. The best I can say for him is he’s running it far more efficiently than G.W. Bush ran his.

    He’ll find his ‘comfortable shoes’ when his Jobs Council head, former G.E. CEO Jeffrey Immelt, finds them for him. In other words, never.
    ~

  427. Thread Bear said,

    November 16, 2011 at 17:51

    What I’d like to know is where the heck are all those anti-abortion folks? The Bilble is far clearer on it’s position on greed, money lenders and usury than it is on abortion. If these Christian extremists spent half the time and effort on legislating greed as they’ve spent on legislating lust, we wouldn’t be in this mess. It’s almost like they don’t actually read the Bible, they just take someone else’s word on what it says.

  428. Thread Bear said,

    November 16, 2011 at 17:57

    Obama’s Administration is a collection of right-wing corporate bagmen. The best I can say for him is he’s running it far more efficiently than G.W. Bush ran his.

    Our only choices in recent elections have been between going two steps backwards or going four steps backwards. We are currently in the two step backwards mode. That’s not working out real well, but the only other choice in the next election is four steps backwards. Actually, looking at the current crop of GOP candidates it’s more like six steps backwards.

  429. vacuumslayer said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:04

    It’s almost like they don’t actually read the Bible, they just take someone else’s word on what it says.

    And those that even do bother to read it, pick and choose what resonates with them and ignores the rest…which makes me wonder: what’s the point? It’s supposed to be a MORAL CODE. Since when do we treat MORAL CODES like their salad bars at Applebees?*

    *waves to Bobo

  430. vacuumslayer said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:04

    or “they’re”

  431. Aunt Acid said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:10

    It’s almost like they don’t actually read the Bible, they just take someone else’s word on what it says.

    Totes different from how they study history, science or the US Consititution.

  432. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:11

    That’s not working out real well, but the only other choice in the next election is four steps backwards.

    Thread Bear, how does it ever get better?

    Our political system is broken, for 99% of us. It’s awesome for the people who own it.

    Cue Matt Taibbi:

    I think everything Greenberg says is true — except for the part about it being possible. His list of solutions would make sense as advice to a real political party.

    But to a bunch of hired stooges put in office to lend an air of democratic legitimacy to what has essentially become a bureaucratic-oligarchic state, what good does such advice do? Would it have made sense to send the Supreme Soviet under Andropov or Brezhnyev a list of policy ideas for enhancing the civil liberties of Soviet citizens?

    The Democrats aren’t failing to stand up to Republicans and failing to enact sensible reforms that benefit the middle class because they genuinely believe there’s political hay to be made moving to the right. They’re doing it because they do not represent any actual voters. I know I’ve said this before, but they are not a progressive political party, not even secretly, deep inside. They just play one on television.

    ~

  433. Actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:14

    It’s almost like they don’t actually read the Bible, they just take someone else’s word on what it says.

    Totes different from how they study history, science or the US Consititution.

    Or politics, for that matter.

  434. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:35

    Watch Mark Noonan defend Herman Cain from racism by saying he looks like a pimp.

  435. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:41

    here’s what i find pretty disturbing:

    Will you take a look at that.. Herman Cain (with his wide-brimmed fedora) posing with two women, who just happen to be attractive..maybe even a little ghetto…

    are we looking at the same picture?

  436. Aunt Acid said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:54

    Thread Bear, how does it ever get better?

    This reminds me of the shade-tree mechanic who decided to replace the flywheel on his Chevy. He bought the parts he needed, and glanced at the instructions to see how much of a job he was in for. He saw that there were only three or four steps, so he decided it wouldn’t take long, and put it off until Sunday afternoon, since he would need the car to get to work on Monday morning. He settled into the garage with his tools and took a closer look at the instructions

    “Step 1:” it said. “Remove engine and transmission”

    To reform the US political system:

    Step 1: Establish and promote a 3rd political party which more closely aligns with your ideology.

    Step 2: Elect candidates from your new party to as many political offices as possible, starting with local, municipal and state offices, working your way up to US House of Representatives and Senate.

    Step 3: Amend US Constitution to abolish the Electoral College and reform election laws to allow third- or fourth-party candidates to be elected with a plurality of the popular vote, or provide for runoff elections in the event no candidate receives a majority.

    Step 4: Once your candidate has been elected president and holds a majority or at least a strong contingent in Congress, reform congressional rules to curtail abuses of filibusters and other anti-democratic tactics.

    Step 5: Next, have your new president appoint as many like-minded federal judges, appellate judges and Supreme Court Justices as possible.

    Step 6: Enact laws curtailing the influence of large corporate donors on the political process. (Step 5 must be completed before attempting this part of the process, or else your reformed laws will be thrown out)

    Step 7: Complete your progressive agenda with the introduction of stronger financial, environmental, employment, consumer and education reforms.

    Simple!

  437. vacuumslayer said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:56

    You can play with mr. Ghetto’s eyebrows at subby’s place.

  438. vacuumslayer said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:56

    speaking of pimping…I shouldn’t have to pimp your blogs for you, people!

  439. Actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:01

    I shouldn’t have to pimp your blogs for you, people!

    Hey, I work my street freelance! I blogwhore with the best of them

  440. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:16

    Aunt Acid, the first step is realizing that the car is broken.
    ~

  441. Thread Bear said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:24

    Aunt Acid said,

    November 16, 2011 at 18:54

    Or you could go the historic route which starts with…

    STEP 1: Guillotines!

  442. Aunt Acid said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:32

    Or you could go the historic route which starts with…

    STEP 1: Guillotines!

    ‘cuz that worked out so well for teh French, IIRC.

    Oh, make no mistake, the process will definitely involve violence, almost unavoidably. But violence is not a shortcut; it is a detour. The more violence is involved with Change, the more that change is likely to happen in unintended and unfortunate ways.

  443. tsam said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:33

    Aunt Acid, the first step is realizing that the car is broken.

    Also realizing that doing less maintenance and repair won’t fix the car, but only make it less reliable. But hey, you have beer money, right?

  444. Actor212 said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:36

    Oh, make no mistake, the process will definitely involve violence, almost unavoidably.

    I’m not sure. I’m not saying you’re wrong, just I’m not sure.

    The anti-war movement had its roots deep in civil disobedience and peaceful protest, and apart from a few splinter groups and some incidents that were tragic, for the most part is created a rather sizable political change without much blood being shed.

    We’ve had political overthrows of a sort in this nation for centuries. Most have come without too much violence.

  445. tsam said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:37

    Herman Cain was featured on a Holly Bailey hit piece the other day about the video in which Cain pokes fun regarding Anita Hill.

    Herman Cain is defending himself from sexual harassment allegations, but that didn’t stop him from joking about Anita Hill, the college professor who made similar allegations against Clarence Thomas during his Supreme Court nomination hearings 20 years ago.

    A Fox News camera captured Cain laughing about Hill during a campaign stop in Kalamazoo, Mich., Thursday, when a supporter brought up the professor’s name.

    “You hear the latest news today? Anita Hill is going to come …” a man told Cain, the conclusion of his statement muffled by the crowd.

    “Is she going to endorse me?” Cain joked, as he and the crowd laughed heartily.

    A video and some contextual background is now apparently a hit piece. Who knew?

  446. vacuumslayer said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:50

    Also quoting people’s actual words and asking questions is gotcha journalism.

  447. bbkf said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:52

    Also quoting people’s actual words and asking questions is gotcha journalism.

    omg…do NOT get sucked into the comments over there…i did to my chagrin…deepest, deepest chagrin…i now feel stupider…

  448. George Washington, Abraham Lincon, Bob LaFollette, Mario Savio, Martin Luthor King said,

    November 16, 2011 at 19:52

    We’ve had political overthrows of a sort in this nation for centuries. Most have come without too much violence.

    We beg to differ…

  449. Helmut Monotreme said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:00

    Martin Luthor King

    The lesser known activist, named after the noted evangelical reformer, Martin Luthor, who wanted the catholic church to stop selling indulgences and start killing superman.

  450. Tintin said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:01

    New thread!

  451. Thread Bear said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:03

    The lesser known activist, named after the noted evangelical reformer, Martin Luthor, who wanted the catholic church to stop selling indulgences and start killing superman.

    He used to be a Mennonite, now he’s a Kryptonite.

  452. tigris said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:04

    who wanted the catholic church to stop selling indulgences and start killing superman.

    Faster than a speeding inkwell!

  453. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:04

    Step 1: Cut a hole in the box Establish and promote a 3rd political party which more closely aligns with your ideology.

    Actually, It’s probably easier to follow the same method the “movement conservatives” have. Take over the party of your choice by primarying every motherfucker who behaves outside of the desired envelope and chase everyone you don’t like out of the business. It’s a long term game, but it can work quite well.

    By “every motherfucker” I mean every motherfucker, from dogcatcher on up.

    The biggest problem, of course, is money. The DLC was instituted as a way to make Democrats as beholden to corporate cash as Republicans, and it has worked fabulously. Why buy one party when you can get a great deal on both? It would take a fuckton of work on the part of a huge number of people to even begin to make up for the institutional disadvantages currently built in to the system. Doesn’t mean it can’t be done, just that it’ll be a major bitch.

    Cliffotines, however, are a quicker fix, even if the threshold is higher.

  454. Hogeye Grex said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:13

    New thread!

    Now you tell me.

    I checked right before I typed that, dammit.

  455. Whale Chowder said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:27

    I read it.

    Hey, where’d everybody go?

  456. Chris said,

    November 16, 2011 at 20:44

    It’s almost like they don’t actually read the Bible, they just take someone else’s word on what it says.

    Judging by the facebook wall of someone I know who’s going through an evangelical seminary right now, seminaries are giant exercises in learning rationalizations by rote, where you’re taught the proper (dare I say “politically correct”) context of everything, which messages to stress, who you should be railing against, etc.

    And those that even do bother to read it, pick and choose what resonates with them and ignores the rest…which makes me wonder: what’s the point? It’s supposed to be a MORAL CODE.

    To most of the fundie audience, it’s just supposed to be a tribal marker, as well as something they can point to to say “we have this awesome holy book, so we’re better than all of you.”

  457. Cerberus said,

    November 16, 2011 at 22:30

    On change from an owned corporate system where the money owns the means of communication, the political parties, the means of election, the economy and businesses, and pisses down from on high upon the 99% who are treated like shit to a greatly different system that fixes those problems in a matter of decades?

    We’ve kind of gone through that before.

    Gilded Age into Progressive Era and later FDR.

    And again when the Red Scare had the entire liberal edifice deconstructed there was the 60s to counter from that extreme position of loss…which mostly happened in the early 70s.

    I see the cultural and attitude shifting we’ve been seeing behind the scenes close to bursting and thus similar opportunities to make the first assaults against an “impossibly entrenched system” that we saw with the Gilded Age, women’s inability to vote, Jim Crow, obsession on deficit and stock market in times of Depression, etc…

    Which would be why the 1% have been acting a bit desperate and have completely thrown subtlety out the window with what they control and who they want to demonize. And we saw the same thing before the end of the other “impossible to fix democratically” eras. The insane crackdown on “anarachists”, the deplorable treatment of Hooverville residents, civil rights marchers, and anti-war and other protestors, not to mention the still on-going hatred for hippies and communists.

    I think there’s cause for optimism, even though there is also a lot of danger in the simple fact that they’ve gone Full Orwell to defend their last inch.

  458. Hate Group Figures Rush to Tie Jerry Sandusky to Gay People | My Blog said,

    November 17, 2011 at 19:58

    [...] Tintin during Sadly, No! replies, “Sadly, [...]

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