Can You Ask For A Home School Tuition Refund?
If you have a website modestly titled “The American Thinker,” you would imagine that it would be a place where you could find probing scholarly commentary by articulate intellectuals. Sadly, No! Meet Josiah Jedediah Ezekiel Cantrall, the home-schooled, 12-year-old baby Republican du jour who has just written for The American Thinker the provocatively titled piece “Repeal Obamacare – but Keep Socialized Education?”
Of course, the title itself creates high hopes for Master Cantrall’s article, promising to fall right in line with the current wingnut weltanschauung that everything is socialist. Obama is a socialist. Public schools are socialist. Freeways are socialist. Stoplights are socialist. Glazed doughnuts are socialist. The 3-D version of “The Lion King” is socialist.
Just as the “public option” is merely a different term for socialized medicine, public education is simply a euphemized phrase for socialized education.
You certainly get the sense of the benefits from the superior and non-socialist home schooling that Master Cantrall received at the knees of his mommy in Wisconsin when he eschews the more direct, but less interleckshual, “euphemism” for “euphemized phrase.”
More benefits that Master Cantrall obtained from home schooling become quickly apparent.
In the early 1900s, Horace Mann led a movement to replace America’s community and parent-controlled school model with Prussian-style public schools.
A movement that Mann apparently led from the grave, having died more than 40 years earlier in 1859. Hey, Josiah, it’s your mommy calling. She wants your high school diploma back.
Not only is Master Cantrall too stupid to check a biography of Horace Mann before making him a twentieth-century reformer, but he’s intellectually dishonest too when he tries to marshal “Three-time New York City teacher of the year John Taylor Gatto” to his cause.
Gatto notes that archetypal Americans like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Thomas Edison were leading productive, fulfilled lives by the time they were in their teens, and yet “[t]hey were too unpredictable and insufficiently pliable. What better way to (change this) than by removing children from the steadying influences of their families, and placing them instead in the hands of (free government) schools[?] Just in case parents were unwilling to comply, the powers that be committed school attendance into law.”
We’ll give Cantrall a pass on the fact that the quote attributed to Gatto is not from Gatto but from a reviewer of one of Gatto’s books. That’s a mistake that any rigorous intellectual writing at The American Thinker could easily make and, besides, quotation marks are inherently confusing. But I’m not going to give him a pass on how he altered the quotation. Here’s the original quotation with the words that Cantrall conveniently omitted in bold:
Mr. Gatto details the lives of archetypal Americans like Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Thomas Edison, who were independent, free-thinking leaders, none of whom spent more than two years in any kind of school, and yet all were leading productive, fulfilled lives by the time they were in their teens. Mr. Gatto argues that big business knew that the development of these kinds of individuals needed to be hindered. They were too unpredictable and insufficiently pliable.
What better way to accomplish this shadowy goal than by removing children from the steadying influences of their families, and placing them instead in the hands of schools, where they could be easily molded into the kinds of people upon whom big business depended. Just in case parents were unwilling to comply, the powers that be committed school attendance into law.
That’s just sad. I mean really, really sad. Cantrall takes a guy who is arguing that public schooling was a capitalist conspiracy and quotes him to support his position that public schools are inherently socialist. I’d say that is a bit like quoting Jonah Goldberg in an article on the virtues of meticulous personal hygiene.
Young Josiah has a Wikipedia entry written by his admirers and other fluffers. Perhaps these embarrassing gaffes would be a nice project for a Sadlynaut who might want to, you know, edit that entry somewhat.
Really? 12 years old?
The Hitler Youth gets them so young.
“euphemized phrase.” = “weaponized anthrax”
Ouch ouch ouch. This kid may be a punk but it just hurts vicariously to see someone spanked that hard.
Hurts so good.
Tintin you are really scraping the bottom. And by that I mean, keep up the good work.
TinTin, will he respond “But that’s central to my point!”?
Any arbitrary n-Dimensional version of “The Lion King” is socialist.
A movement that Mann apparently led from the grave, having died more than 40 years earlier in 1859.
You wound the Undead-Americans among us, Tintin, acting like this is not possible.
As a Wisconsinite, I apologize for this dweeb. I have scheduled a cow to fall on him.
I bet he could run rings around Herman Cain or Ron Paul or Rick Perry or John McCain or Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin or Newt Gingrich in a debate.
And I bet he would beat Mitt Romney by the judges’ decision.
I mean, it’s nothing a liberal would brag about.
This can be used as grounds for arresting his parent(s) for child abuse, right? Please?
The freedom to make your children as stupid as possible is a price you pay for a free society I suppose.
It would be REALLY wrong to link any of his achievements to a goatse site…
This can be used as grounds for arresting his parent(s) for child abuse, right? Please?
He’s 22, so no
In any case, go easy on him. Respect his First Amendment rights. It says right there in the Constitution, no conservative will ever be subjected to any criticism or mockery or ridicule, no matter how much he or she may deserve it.
And don’t forget, the right of every delusional wingnut to open for Monday Night Football, as long as he wants, shall not be infringed.
Drat.
I love people who, when the facts do not suit their ill-conceived notions (one might, if one was to wish to appear more intellectual, insert here a foreign phrase in a romance language one thinks most USians do not speak, such as idees sans penses), simply alter the truth until it matches their argument.
It allows me to use such phrases as “mal de tete“, and “fucking idiot”.
Clearly, his Mama never required the reading of Strunk and White.
It says in his Wikipedia entry that he’s a part-time hat rack.
I just tweeted a link to this post to Josiah. Maybe he’ll come by to play.
does he quote from the Merriam Webster dictionary? (I can’t be arsed to click through – they won’t let me have mangoes at work)
It says in his Wikipedia entry that he’s a part-time hat rack.
Yanno, we have had our disagreements, but that was some fine, fast work.
Why does his head look like a bad Tim Burton puppet?
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
I just tweeted a link to this post to Josiah. Maybe he’ll come by to play.
You have a mean streak.
I do, however, look forward to discussing prominent zombie educators with him.
@ Mike Nilsen And here I was thinking I was going to get rich converting it to an 11-dimensional Calbi-Yau manifold.
Yanno, we have had our disagreements, but that was some fine, fast work.
*sipping herbal tea quietly*
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I merely reported what he posted there.
Did you notice his accomplishments in the Madison bath house?
The Wikipedia entry made me giggle for all the wrong reasons.
And in the part that wasn’t corrected, who boasts of having tea with English people who used to be famous on their Wikipedia page? My Daddy’s had dinner at Buckingham Palace, but you don’t see it on his Wikipedia page.
…Calabi-Yau…grrrr
…or was that corrected? It was such a good job, I actually couldn’t tell. That, or his life really is that silly.
Oh, he’s from West Bend. That explains a lot, him living outside of civilized America and all.
“interviewed Scott Walker” Heh. I can imagine the recording of that interview: “slurp-slobber-slurp gulp.”
My Daddy’s had dinner at Buckingham Palace, but you don’t see it on his Wikipedia page.
So, Mr. ….Smith….if that’s your real name….
In the early 1900s, Horace Mann led a movement to replace America’s community and parent-controlled school model with Prussian-style public schools.
But we would never let that Stalin guy run skools here in AMERICA DAMMIT
Did you notice his accomplishments in the Madison bath house?
Perhaps that was updated after I visited.
Maybe he’ll come by to play.
Oh please please please please. We can ask him if he’s being a tool knowingly.
Oh please please please please. We can ask him if he’s being a tool knowingly.
I was going to suggest he was a whole tool shed, but that gives too much credit.
Actually, he’s one of those little Fischer-Price toys with a plastic hammer and screwdriver.
You know what else is worse than Hitler? Socialized elections and government, that’s what. Time to privatize, my friends.
So, Mr. ….Smith….if that’s your real name….
Trufax: At one point, thre were a couple of Anthony Smiths working at the BBC, and the one referenced above not only kept getting the wrong paycheck, it was Anthony Sampsons paycheck (who was also working there at the time). This has led me to believe ever since that the BBC’s fact-checking is not neccessarily up to par.*
*But still about fifty to the power of google times better than Fox News.
“easy as pie”
Socialized elections and government, that’s what. Time to privatize, my friends.
Too late, I think.
Perhaps that was updated after I visited.
It seems he is actively editing his page today.
Hee heee. Whore Ass Man. Hee hee.
Time to privatize, my friends.
It’s worked so well for every government that’s tried it, right? England is a much better place now that it’s more privatized, that’s why I left it for the US, the perfect socialist paradise.
Wow. He admits he’s a hermaphrodite!
That wiki entry is adorable.
Don’t forget to rate the page.
TinTin, you’ve grossly misrepresented him, according to WikiPedia. His name, for instance, is really Josiah James Bramwell Ambrosius d’Artagnan Bucephalus Niobium Quinquidecimal Zephaniah Dogwhistle Cantrall IV (“Josie”)
I enjoy a good creative writing project.
Primaries like ketchup on re-thinking food itself but they must have stolen the old bomber with isreal alligators! So hungry. Scorn, mockery is just insanity. Attend residential schools on dough. Legalize moral wrongs. She, anyway, did your philtrum. 1970 and better than Chicago’s I think that’s a platonic idea of the old news, the process from Godfather’s locations, that guy doesn’t?
Election of pizza, I will get to the process from Godfather’s regularly long and i’m so hungry. Nicer tits. Panic of pizza, I think anything sounds good fortune to pillsbury. Above: however that guy fawkes masks. Others is like both. Medication and i’m so hungry. Small scale george ure. Interesting is a mud holes?
Frag the old saying “what about getting ahemed”. Notice how closely it that can’t be varied food itself. Gobsmacking all the process from Godfather’s I used to test out my father spent an extended period working in all the bottom eaters, the bottom eaters, the process from Godfather’s pizza stomped the process from Godfather’s I thought that guy. Pulled pork…it has anyone could point so hungry.
(yes, they must have stolen the old purpose intense pain, rather than domino’s or little caesar’s pizza. Shall google. Van jones, all the old bomber with the crappy slowslowslow 3g data service!)
I see the edits came from NYC and Atlanta. Do we know anyone in those places?
“Public schools are socialist. Freeways are socialist. Stoplights are socialist. Glazed doughnuts are socialist. The 3-D version of “The Lion King” is socialist.”
I wish we could get to the point in this country that we could admit that public schools, freeways and stoplights really are socialist.
I wish we could get to the point in this country that we could admit that public schools, freeways and stoplights really are socialist.
And admit that the socialist method of doing these things is the correct method.
Can we think of a single industry that was formerly government, got privatized, and turned into anything other than a piece of stinky shit? I can’t.
To whomever wrote this: you magnificent bastard.
Pupienus said
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Have you tried teleporting to Mars?
Can we think of a single industry that was formerly government, got privatized, and turned into anything other than a piece of stinky shit?
Murder?
I see the edits came from NYC and Atlanta. Do we know anyone in those places?
Don’t look at me! I’m still extricating myself from that whole Arnold Alkon mess.
Don’t look at me! I’m still extricating myself from that whole Arnold Alkon mess.
And you’re doing JUUUUST great.
Have you tried teleporting to Mars?
Why yes, yes I have.
Making cruel edits to someone’s wiki entry is JUST LIKE HITLER!
Wait. That’s actually his real name? Jesus.
Making cruel edits to someone’s wiki entry is JUST LIKE HITLER!
Sometimes those Wikipedia pages just write themselves.
The publications, especially Shaka, when the walls fell made us both LOL.
He’s got a pretty good 5-o-clock shadow for a 12 year old.
When you see a name like “Josiah” for a kid from a very large family that home-schools, you’re seeing another one of those “quiverfull” morons.
This kid is just a low-rent Wisconsin Duggar knock-off.
Oooh! The Ho took the day off after running yet another successful radio fundraising drive so we are going out for lunch today!.
I have scheduled a cow to fall on him.
I’m not sure why, but this has reduced me to helpless giggles. Thanks, ZRM. I needed the laugh!
Thank you, sadlies. That wiki entry has made my day.
~
Wow, Jennifer, how did you know?
OT: I will literally pay someone to troll this article.. I’m not kidding. I’ll pay for trolling. I don’t have the time or I’d do it myself.
Cantrall’s paternal grandmother, Dolores “Easy As Pie” Cantrall, is a daughter of Louise Kink Pope, who was among the last of those who survived the sinking of the RMS Titanic, which is a pity, considering.
Amazing.
Amazing
Rumour has it that Dolores fucked her way onto a life boat, but there’s no confirmation of that.
Still, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Yanno, we have had our disagreements, but that was some fine, fast work.
…that’s what she said!
no, but really, that is pretty amazing…
See, people, the problems of rising above your natural station in life? He was a damn good hat rack. Much chuckles from the wikipage
He was a damn good hat rack
never managed to make the transition to coat-rack though.
“OT: I will literally pay someone to troll this article.. I’m not kidding. I’ll pay for trolling. I don’t have the time or I’d do it myself.”
Did you read the second page? After the obligatory hippie punching, he complained that GS was paid 100% on its AIG CDS’s due to crony capitalism. True!
of course, his remedy is that only the stockholders should be compensated for any losses.
He’s probably a Vikings fan too. Must have just forgotten to put that in his wiki page.
He was a damn good hat rack
never managed to make the transition to coat-rack though.
He was always jealous of the coat closet, too.
Trolling a wikipedia page is good fun, but I can’t help thinking that it is like starting a battle of wits with an unarmed person, at least in this case. Also the toadying references to Lord Christopher ‘Ol’ Swivel Eyes’ Monckton the noted dupe of client change denialists are nauseating. Christopher Monckton is a fraud, a loudmouth and a walking talking argument for the abolition of the aristocracy.
You know what? Sure teh kid’s got teh basic facts wrnog. Sure he has little to no understanding of socialism or education or – well anything really. But he apparently knows how to type – and even form entire sentences made up of englishness words usings. It isn’t his fault that his fundie conservatard parents felt teh need to homeschool him and protect him from teh scary horrors of interacting with folks outside his tiny little world. In his mom’s defense, she was too busy with other considerations (IYKWIM-AITTYD) to prevent her kid from growing up all mentally and emotionally stunted liek that.
So, let’s try and tackle his argument seriously. If only I could figure out what his argument is. He seems to be advocating for teh abolishment of public education entirely. It’s not a case of vouchers or tax breaks for private schools/homeschoolers – but a government-has-no-role-in-education argument. That private schools and teh Free Market will make all things right and proper.
Mind you, he argues that one of the reasons for this is so that freedom of choice will no longer be teh domain of teh wealthy elites. Because Invisible Hand!
Srsly. That privatization of all education will somehow make things moar fair. That rich elites won’t be able to use their vast wealth to ensure that their kids get all teh quality edumacashuns – and private enterprise will somehow address all teh problems that plague educators today. That teh kids of middle- and lower- income families will get exactly teh perfect amount of education because those families will be paying slightly less in taxes. That of course private education and homeschooling on teh massive scale he’s proposing would have no problems associated with it.
Maybe some of those items can be addressed with some scholarship programs (privately administered I suppose) and regulatory oversight (pfft – as if). Maybe a system of all private education can work – provided you have enough other stuff to ameliorate teh problems – some very SOSHULASM! type stuff. But you know what you’d have in that case? Let’s look at teh characteristics:
Only private providers.
Gubmint programs to subisdize teh poor.
Enhanced regulatory oversight preventing elite providers from denying services for no good reason.
It’s Obamacare for education.
Unless he’s arguing against compulsory education itself. As in, who needs to lurn to reed and rites and rheumatism or wev teh other R is.
In which case – rilly? I mean rilly! Rilly?!
When you see a name like “Josiah” for a kid from a very large family that home-schools, you’re seeing another one of those “quiverfull” morons.
I can understand the home-schooled quivering when exposed to reality, but why they brag about it, I’ll never get.
If only I could figure out what his argument is.
MOAR BOOBIES!
I just tweeted a link to this post to Josiah. Maybe he’ll come by to play.”
Hee. Tintin is “meanest when he’s lovin’ most.”
In some respects, I sort of pity Ol’ Josiah Jeddediah Obadiah Obada Lifegoeson Cantrall. He’s left trying to come up with some signature issue that he can be out in front of, but free public education is a really popular program with most people, which is why whenever education reform is raised, you rarely hear someone talk about ending it.
He’s desperate for attention, the poor man.
Srsly…
These kids are all home-schooled or they go to Bob Jones or Patrick Henry or wherever the fuck. The point is, they’re kept away from people who disagree with them (or their parents), much less people of different classes or races, like so many Bubble Boys and Girls. Then they run for high office and/or issue proclamations on how we’re supposed to bring our laws, regulations and politics in line with their beliefs.
Nope, no recipe for disaster here.
Apparently, WikiPedia now has one of their staff on the page trying to clean it up.
Excellent take-down Tintin. Hilarious wikifiddling, anonymous wikifiddlers! I printed to PDF to preserve posterity.
Apparently, WikiPedia now has one of their staff on the page trying to clean it up.
Good. I mean talk about blatant misuse of WP:PRIMARY. In fact, it looks to me liek misuse of WP:PRIMARY is teh only argument for teh WP:Notability of Josiah Pussycat’s page.
In fact, it looks to me liek misuse of WP:PRIMARY is teh only argument for teh WP:Notability of Josiah Pussycat’s page.
It will take them days to find them all and fix them, I’m sure
Dear FSM am I glad that’s over. Tell him I promise to give twice as much if they stop airing “Marketplace.” Or at least move it to some more obscure time so I don’t have to hear it on the way home from work.
Tell him I promise to give twice as much if they stop airing “Marketplace.”
I listen to it once a week. KNOW YOUR ENEMY!
In some respects, I sort of pity Ol’ Josiah Jeddediah Obadiah Obada Lifegoeson Cantrall. He’s left trying to come up with some signature issue that he can be out in front of, but free public education is a really popular program with most people, which is why whenever education reform is raised, you rarely hear someone talk about ending it.
He’s desperate for attention, the poor man.
Well, it’s his own fault that he chose the right wing, where crazy is so overdone that it’s pretty much the status quo these days. It’s not our fault he has to go full bore caveman to get a little bit of attention. Unfortunately all of his attention comes from a bunch of asshole lefties who FUCKED UP HIS WIKI PAGE WOOOOOOT!
Maybe someone should petition for removal of Josie’s page. Looking at the previous version, before all teh accurate hatrack stuff got put in, just about teh only non-WP:PRIMARY link was for his gaining “national recognition” for his reporting – a single reference to a non-WP:Notable blog. Which is now a dead link.
Geez, if this is teh criteria for WP:Notable nowadays, they should just change teh name to Facebook.
Tell Neil Cohen to quit having those NYFT editorial psychos on his show. They are not “experts”.
It will take them days to find them all and fix them, I’m sure.
Unliekly. All the changes were made today. They could just do what I did.
Yes, this. Also too. Related: another brilliant take-down of Bobo from Charles Pierce. (sorry if that’s “ahemable”)
Can’t … stop … laughing … holy … shit …
Those edits are subtle — genius in their subtlety, in fact.
Oh, and I grabbed a copy of the page.
It is, however, in PDF format …
free public education is a really popular program with most people, which is why whenever education reform is raised, you rarely hear someone talk about ending it.
No, just “vouchering” it to death.
Which actually gains little traction either, at least among the suburbanites who form the nexus of political power in most places. They like their public schools just fine, they pay property taxes out the ass for them, and they’re not interested in handing any of those taxes over to Quiverful Academy, thank you very much.
I don’t listen to morning edition on Mondays because Cokie Roberts sends my blood pressure through the fucking roof. I switch to KMHD (jazz) at 6:30 to avoid marketplace. Tryin ta bemember – you in Eugene or Corvallis? Aaah you prolly don’t get KMHD in either case. Never mind.
All the changes were made today.
Here’s the thing: I followed the link of the “corrector.” Apparently, he’s a former staffer who was thrown off for, get this, being TOO diligent in his corrections.
Likely, then, he doesn’t have access to grab an archive copy and restore it, so he’ll either have to go one by one, call in the troops (who may decide he’s full of it) or give most of them a miss.
Trolling the guy’s Wiki page? That is just SO MEAN.
*applauds*
Yes, this. Also too. Related: another brilliant take-down of Bobo from Charles Pierce. (sorry if that’s “ahemable”)
That guy is so awesome. Skilled Bobo nut crusher.
Funny:
I also feel it is my duty to commit random acts of tagfail.
The part time hat rack would have sent liquid out of my nose when I saw it for myself.
Now to be right click>save as>webpage complete.
Gotta save this one for posterity.
Also, too, just saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time…
.
Unless he’s arguing against compulsory education itself.
Heaven knows, an uneducated population worked so well in an agrarian economy.
The point is, they’re kept away from people who disagree with them (or their parents), much less people of different classes or races, like so many Bubble Boys and Girls.
That’s what the INTERTUBES are for.
That is some high-quality Wikipedia defacement.
HAHA
I’m sure they mentioned you only in praise and reference citations because of your extensively researched library of facts and….
LOL
Odd. He has not created an entry for himself in Conservapedia. It is almost as if he regards TOW despite its known liberal bias as the more prestigious place to parade one’s accomplishments.
i just visited his wikipedia page and learned a whole lot. thanks, guys!
Josiah’s mom is gonna be PISSED.
“quotation marks are inherently confusing”
Not to mention socialist.
Josiah’s mom is gonna be PISSED.
Well, if he stayed out of bathhouses in Madison…
Well, if he stayed out of bathhouses in Madison…
But they were so tempting with their steamy windows and immaculately groomed men running about…
He looks like ET got Ashton Kutcher pregnant.
Josiah’s mom is gonna be PISSED.
grandma prolly liked the shout-out tho…
That’s not all she likes.
That’s not all she likes.
She probably got upset when the Titanic went down with all those seamen
Grandma know what time it is.
Grandma know what time it is.
time to party like it’s 1899?
Grandma is signed up with Honkies for Herman, I hope.
time to party like it’s 1899?
I’ll go wake up Horace Mann.
For your edification, another Education-is-Soc1al1sm campaigner — Cynthia Janak at Renewmerka.
Mainly these days though she is campaigning against Gardasil and condemning the MSM for hushing up all the vaccination side-effects that she knows are happening because otherwise the MSM wouldn’t need to hush them up.
condemning the MSM for hushing up all the vaccination side-effects that she knows are happening because otherwise the MSM wouldn’t need to hush them up.
faultless logic, to be sure!
That damned decimal system!
DECIMAL IS THEFT!
We should go back to the pound, farthing, and pence.
I was thinking more “999” …
he also bought a fedora this weekend and has not taken it off since…
It’s like a condom for the head.
Cynthia Janak at Renewmerka.
ahhh! i remember her…one of the most egregious offenders of the written word! also too…if you have to list ‘chamber of commerce member’ on your bio, you might be trying too hard…
“Looking Backward.”
why look backward? boooooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiinnnnnngggg! it’s not like history repeats itself or anything…
Hm. The fixer over at Wikipedia left his bio box alone:
You know who ELSE said nein nein nein?
Know what else is socialism? Sharing a meal with your family. Has little Cindy paid up for her share of the meat loaf? NO.
Totally OT:
CYCLOPS SHARK ISREAL!
CYCLOPS SHARK ISREAL!
I’ve heard of one-eyed snakes…
Human cyclops! Israel!
Heh. Teh Ho is, for some odd reason, listening to WPSU pledge drive. It’s not THAT odd, he was the membership manager prior to our move west. Anyway, we just heard, for the first time in some years, the announcer read our favorite underwritier credit EVAH. “This program was brought to you in part by St. Marys Box.”
he also bought a fedora this weekend and has not taken it off since…
It probably rains a lot around Squirt.
I love that when anyone has a joke that only an 8 year old would appreciate, he/she posts it here and everyone appreciates it!
St. Mary’s Box. Excellent.
Does that kid have a glandular disorder?
Gurley’s Nuts: Love, in the palm of your hand
She probably got upset when the Titanic went down with all those seamen
“I think women and seamen don’t mix.”
“We all know what you think, Smithers.”
Funtime polka – an oompah good time!
Vorshlaghammer’s Sausages presents Polka Time For Her
Yes, we polka here, we polka there, we polka everywhere!
He’s 22
Wow, really?
Cause I was willing to buy he was 12, because that sounds exactly what a moderately intelligent 12 year old would regurgitate for a book report by repeating whatever his teacher (mommy) told him, possibly with writing help from mommy (ignorant nutjob).
At 22, I can’t think of a more damning indictment of home schooling. It takes effort to be 10 years of intelligence off when you have 1:1 teacher:student attention, direct focus, and tailored education to student needs and levels (these would be the only reasons that home schooling ever has “better” results than public schools).
Fuck just having the kid masturbate on the internet every day would have had him more educated and aware of writing conventions.
Someone had to work really hard at homeschooling that dweeb in order to get him that stupid and brainwashed. If they’d just sat him in front of tv and indoctrinated him in Green Acres and Gilligan’s Island, he’d be lightyears ahead in his development. Oh and is that Mark Foley’s hat hanging there “below the equator”?
Gurley’s nuts: hot and tasty goodness you can hold in your hand.
We now know why the Xtians had to go make their own college.
Fuck just having the kid masturbate on the internet every day would have had him more educated and aware of writing conventions.
Mommy had headaches.
He has been masturbating daily on the Internet…. to Drudge, if I had to guess.
Gurley’s nuts: salty goodness for you mouth.
I love that when anyone has a joke that only an 8 year old would appreciate, he/she posts it here and everyone appreciates it!
POOP!
(Humor for 8 year olds is a bit too sophisticated for moi.)
~
Who was that masked man?
Someone made off with my i!
~
Gurley’s Nuts: More Than A Handful Is Never Too Much
I love that when anyone has a joke that only an 8 year old would appreciate, he/she posts it here and everyone appreciates it!
St. Mary’s Box. Excellent.
I don’t think I would have got that at age 8. Kids today.
And here I was thinking “St Mary’s Box” was either a charity for orphans or a religious order.
Silly me!
St Mary’s Box: Tougher Than Yours
HAW.
“Marketplace on KCUM is made possible in part by a grant from Dicken’s Cider!”
Yup, maybe not 8, but definitely 10-12.
just having the kid masturbate on the internet every day would have had him more educated
Works wonders for me!
Less than a liter of “credits” left to go to get my Master’s in Debating – wish me luck!
Less than a liter of “credits” left to go to get my Master’s in Debating – wish me luck!
You are aware there’s an oral presentation involved?
tsam
Can we think of a single industry that was formerly government, got privatized, and turned into anything other than a piece of stinky shit? I can’t.
Or hell, simply a “private alternative” to an existing government service, one they can even use to carry their bullshit to places they don’t want to spend the money creating the network to that weren’t a giant pile of shit that was still trumpeted as the “superior option” simply because they were the “private option”?
And you’d think that after years of excitedly backing “privatization” efforts that left us with shittier services for more money and with less reliable means of registering grievances that some of the moron brigade (or at least the mushy headed middle) would start putting two and two together on that diseased old meme.
And having lived through a “socialist nightmare” of a society with public everything (government-owned bank, government-provided utilities, government-subsidized housing, even government-owned cable internet), I can say I got better services (dedicated T3 line) for cheaper (way less than I’m paying now) and with better support (Comcast sucks).
Also, their society weathered our economy nuclear bomb just fine (Danmark!).
HAW.
Thing on his head is for autoerotic asphyxiation. It’s WORKING.
I think you’re confusing his argument with mine.
I haven’t changed my nym in a while.
Funny, no matter what I post, this one always seems applicable.
And you’d think that after years of excitedly backing “privatization” efforts that left us with shittier services for more money and with less reliable means of registering grievances that some of the moron brigade (or at least the mushy headed middle) would start putting two and two together on that diseased old meme.
Just the Enron/PG&E bullshit should have schooled everyone on the megastupidity of deregulation and all the this fwee mawkit bullshit. But NOOOOOOOOOO. They’re still all over it like white on rice.
We should go back to the pound, farthing, and pence.
That’s an awfully slippery slope there—pound, pound sign,swastika, Hitler. I’m going to keep repeating this til everyone get’s it, because you people are too complacent about signs and their nefariousness. You can’t just go around taping symbols on T-Shirts willy-nilly and expect people not to wonder what other totalitarian impulses you harbor. This is common sense people! Look up! Look alive! Heads up! INCOMING!!!
He discovered doctors writing out excuses for protesters not to be at work. Did he consider this to be a clue of any sort? No. He tattled on the doctors.
Awesome Wikitude! It’s back, at least now, and I got a screen cap.
Dollar bills are socialized money. US Congressmen are socialized landed gentry. And the US thermonuclear submarine-launched ballistic missile defense system is socialized armageddon.
Free Markets, privatization and deregulation aren’t economic policies that can be debated; they are tenets of a religion, which cannot be quetioned, ever, by anyone, on any level, period, end of discussion, forever and ever amen, shutup you damned heathen that’s why!
That’s why “socialism” must be forever condemned as a despicable heathen doctrine, despite the fact that there are quite a few perfectly happy, mainstream, nuts-and-bolts, works just fine, thanks for asking socialist parties and governments in the world, many of them among our strongest allies. It’s always a surprise to discover that strong socialist democracies–yes, I said “socialist democracies”–exist in the world, and there are perfectly respectable socialist parties in other countries, and the members of these parties don’t have horns or pointy tails, and don’t breathe fire or eat babies or anything!
Unless he’s arguing against compulsory education itself.
In the post-Civil-War South this was actually a common stance of the South, that compulsory education was part of the “northern” carpet-bagging that was attacking their values. Yet another example of the South treating favorable treatment as oppression.
It’s not a case of vouchers or tax breaks for private schools/homeschoolers – but a government-has-no-role-in-education argument.
Which would also make a handy backdoor attack on women’s rights. I doubt daddy dearests would be the ones expected to drop their jobs or work full time night and days to educate the children. Nope, it’s quite likely that would be relegated to “women’s work” and the usual “bad mother” social pressures would be on them to completely disappear into the role and also turn education into one of those invisible and unvalued feminine activities such as cleaning houses or raising kids. So, goodbye female ambition or a chance to see outside the house ever again and hello the return of the feminine mystique as a wide-spread problem. On the plus side, hello to increased amount of children being drowned by defeated parents. And possibly more abortions if it means 18 years of never seeing outside the house again.
Additionally, we’d see churches “volunteer” for “the good of the community” to provide schooling services again, much like they dominate the private school market now. All they’d ask in return is the chance to indoctrinate the kid in the religion and the right not to teach “heretical ideas” like evolution or the fact that women are anything other than objects of sin only best used to breed God’s quiver.
And I’m not really one for standardized tests and I think No Child Left Behind is an abomination, but if we’re going to insist on this bullshit path we’ve taken, we should demand that home school children and private school children be regularly given tests that determine if they’ve gotten an equivalent education to public school, which would include things kids are supposed to learn but get fudged regularly (like evolution, sex education, and actual US history as it happened). A low score would have them booted back to public school.
Hell, that or make it illegal for there to be religious private schools that can opt out of public school laws because “we’re just selling a service”.
May I just say how relieved I am this kid is not 12? I was starting to wonder if he were some inbred mutant.
BREAKING: Pat Buchanan is still a racist.
Okay, I see how we are.
Wait ’til Travolta isn’t looking and then have the big pizza/bagpipe discussion. Sure.
Your loss, ratfinks.
Revolta, that is. Whatever. Who cares. Not me, that’s for sure.
Freeways are socialist. Stoplights are socialist. Glazed doughnuts are socialist.
Oh yeah? If glazed doughnuts aren’t socialist, then how come all of us in my office keep pooling their funds to purchase them? Answer that one, libs!
Eating pizza while playing the bagpipe seems like a bad idea to me, but whatever floats your boat.
BREAKING: Pat Buchanan is still a racist.
A Buchanan mango from two threads ago:
Apparently the Hispanic populations of Central / South America are not “of European descent”. WHAT?
Buchanan is in that state of dementia where his mind runs around a few familiar well-worn tracks and words to him are simply signals that indicate the stations as he passes them… they don’t actually feckon’ MEAN ANYTHING.
Eating pizza while playing the bagpipe seems like a bad idea to me
Not as bad as the reverse.
Eating pizza while playing the bagpipe seems like a bad idea to me
Doing it the other way around led to the invention of the haggis.
Curse you, Smut Clyde, and your far more clever response!
From homeschooling to wingnut welfare. A liberal arts degree just gets you to unemployment. Looks like the Reichwing has got teh Socialism dialed.
Off-topic:
This is a pretty dumb Mallard Fillmore comic strip. I’ve been scratching my head over it all day. WTF? Was Che Guevara famous for fighting for low-priced radishes?
Can somebody help me figure out what a conservative sees when they read “Mallard Fillmore” that keeps them from writing angry letters to the syndicate about how stupid conservatism looks when Mallard Fillmore is passed off as the conservative Doonesbury?
FTFY.
Podcast pimping: Hear the fabulous moi, & the almost-as-fabulous zombie rotten mcdonald, squawking on the Internet.
No, we didn’t call each other to talk about what we were going to wear; we didn’t even plan it!
Putting a link to a Mallard Fillmore strip, expecting us to click on it and confirm that it’s dumb is like taking a spoonful of some old leftovers from the back of the fridge, spitting it out and saying, “Taste this–does this taste spoiled to you?”
You know what, we’ll take your word for it
Hoosier X:
The “joke” explained:
Silly liberals go to Whole Foods and overpay for hippie food also I’ve seen kids walking around in Che Guevera t-shirts in youthful rebellion so I’ll add that to this as well. This of course proves that liberals are the liberal elite, out of touch with the blue collar working man and completely adrift from the commie principles we regularly take them to task for. The person who supports the blue collar man (and who wouldn’t be here to witness this supposed incident because that would make them the elite) is of course rather the duck that regularly argues on behalf of hedge-fund managers.
Why conservatives don’t complain:
Easiest answer ever. It’s the “conservative response” to Doonesbury which raised their ire by occasionally pointing out unfortunate realities and mocking conservative heroes. Thus it could be nothing but shit smeared on a paper with the caption “I made a poopy” and it would be constantly praised by conservatives for “finally showing those hippies what for”.
Yeah, conservative welfare is a fucking sweet deal for the untalented hacks who get it.
Just an update: The Wiki entry is still pretty damn funny. I don’t think the gnomes have edited to any great extent.
I was giggling, I was.
Somebody needs to do a Garfield minus Garfield version of Mallard Failmore.
Except every panel should just be blank. It would still be funnier.
The wiki doesn’t mention Cantrall’s disqualification in the Young Republican intramural nude leap-frog competition. I demand full disclosure and want to get to the bottom of what Breitbart and O’Keefe had a hand in.
As it happens, I’m going out for my first Kansas City pizza tonight…………….having lived in both NYC and Chicago I dunno what to expect. Will report.
Leaving bagpipes at home. This time.
O.K. I looked at it. I admit it. Here it is—it’s stupid. Ha ha. Liberals funny. Man in tee-shirt celebrating a Cuban revolutionary hero doesn’t mind paying more for vegetables grown organically… because I’ve got to concentrate, concentrate, concentrate…hello, hello, hello…echo,echo,echo…Pedro Carbone pinch hitting for Manny Moto…
Can somebody help me figure out what a conservative sees when they read “Mallard Fillmore” that keeps them from writing angry letters to the syndicate about how stupid conservatism looks when Mallard Fillmore is passed off as the conservative Doonesbury?
I assume whatever a conservative fan sees in Mallard Fillmore is similar to what Bruce Tinsley sees after he’s been pulled over:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Tinsley
Except that I’m nearly a militant liberal and I couldn’t give any less of a shit about Che Guevara and I buy my groceries at the store like everyone else. Mallard Fillmore is written by a bitter Rushbo wannabe. There USED to be a prerequisite in comic writing–that being the existence of at least a little bit of humor. I guess comics are just to whine about how fucked up everyone else is.
because I’ve got to concentrate, concentrate, concentrate…hello, hello, hello…echo,echo,echo…Pedro Carbone pinch hitting for Manny Moto…
BADASS Airplane! reference. Well done.
Yet moar OT: As if anybody needed moar reasons not to use Facebook.
If they’re trying to get away with that shit in Yurp, I can only imagine what they gather about ‘merkins.
The “liberals” who shop at Whole Paycheck gotta know that the guy behind that grocery chain is a bigtime glibertarian. I guess it’s more funneh to link the grocery chain to a commie rebel who’s been dead for 40 years than to its real owner?
Funniest Mallard Fillmore comic ever!
Somebody needs to do a Garfield minus Garfield version of Mallard Failmore.
Do you expect me to believe that there is a market in the US that will accept a series of e-mails-from-your-rightwing-uncle as a comic strip, so long as each one is illustrated by a picture of an angry duck?
You’re making that up. You stole the idea from a C.M. Kornbluth story.
wiley:
I think it’s more the liberal elite thing. If they are able to pay more for organic produce then they are the real 1% and lay off our glorious hedge fund managers because they are in tune with the working man and have to eat over $4 microwavable dinners with about as much nutritional value as a single radish…wait…
It’s stupid on about a billion levels, but the most recent ones would be:
1) He’s making fun of Whole Foods which didn’t really see much of the “Che Gueverra crowd” but rather suburban ex-hippies and the left-leaning rich.
2) Whole Foods kinda lost a lot of love from liberal-leaning customers with his giant Libertarian rant a while back.
3) With current produce costs, the “blue collar” version isn’t that much cheaper and in fact, buying from Farmer’s Markets or Trader Joes tends to be way cheaper than the “Real American” grocery stores, even if you are paying for “not covered in pesticides”…sorry, I meant organic.
4) Produce is so expensive in relative because we subsidize some industries like corn for HFCS and meat but not produce, so it costs more to be healthy and eat right. But of course this strip hasn’t regularly whined about how “welfare moms” feed their children crappy food that makes them fat, thus they are lazy bad parents who are totally the only ones responsible for their current plight and “welfare reform”.
Overall, the comics are like a cranky grandpa wandering around town muttering under his breath about the evil liberals and looking for the smallest amount of material he can get away with for the day’s paycheck (seriously, one sentence, two panels, not even Garfield is that lazy).
John Revolta said,
As it happens, I’m going out for my first Kansas City pizza tonight…………….having lived in both NYC and Chicago I dunno what to expect. Will report.
Leaving bagpipes at home. This time.
###
There used be a local pizzeria here called “Pizza and Pipes”
No, it didn’t double as a headshop. The “pipes” part referred to The Mighty Wurlitzer
There USED to be a prerequisite in comic writing–that being the existence of at least a little bit of humor.
My next blog post: Compare and contrast the humor in “Mary Worth” and “Mark Trail”.
P.S. Just kidding…a political cartoon without humor means YER DOIN’ IT RONG!
~
Yeah. I kinda think of the people who work in the field as “workers”—“blue-collar,” if you will.
I’m on a tear—what if all the migrant farm workers said, “You know what? Fuck it. Let the fruits of your labor rot in the field if the fruits of my labor are such a fucking burden for you. If you can’t pay enough white people to pick the shit and pack it for you—-fuck you. Not my problem. I’ve had about enough of your dehumanizing shit. You pathetic asswipes.”
Teachers too. Walk. Two weeks. “You think we’re payed too much to spend more time with your kids than half of you do? Fuck you! You teach them how to read and write and do math, then; but here’s a big clue—teach them a modicum of social skills because it’s hard to teach a classroom full of children when three or four of them need to be peeled off the ceiling because they have been taught nothing about how to handle their emotions, and two or three of them are hungry most of the time and their clothes and shoes don’t fit properly, and two or three more suffer violence and continual uproar in their environment, and five of them are basket cases on Mondays because of the weekend they just spent with who knows what, and …Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you very much. You think I get payed too much? Hire a teenager to watch, manage, and educate your children because schoolteachers aren’t societies “wives” to anyone who wants to pop out one or more children for somebody else to straighten out.”
I shop at WinCO.
Relevant duck comic that is not Mallard Failmore.
They have especially good beer prices…
WinCo is “employee owned”. FWIW, at least in these here parts of the countreh.
Preach it!
One positive that came out of the recent anti-union and especially anti-teacher crap the right has been spewing is that my left-leaning-but-normally-not-very-politically-aware-or-active wife decided to become more active in her teacher’s union and became the union rep for her school. I’m so proud!
Employee owned is almost as bad as Socialism and that’s the ism dismalest of all according to the wingtards.
Yep. Employee owned and open 24/7. Me and buggles luv grocery shopping in the wee hours. Grocery stores always make me feel secure—like our tribe is going to make it through the winter. I love buying bulk too and bringing a buttload of reusable bags to pack all the groceries in.
One positive that came out of the recent anti-union and especially anti-teacher crap the right has been spewing is that my left-leaning-but-normally-not-very-politically-aware-or-active wife decided to become more active in her teacher’s union and became the union rep for her school. I’m so proud!
I’m proud of her too. I get vicarious feelings of participation, so I pay extra SEIU fees to help with the lobbying efforts. Send the DAV money from time to time—they have a hell of a lobby and a lot of volunteers. And Doctors without Borders every month. I’m too far gone to participate but I cheer as loud as I can and thank the union members who call and volunteers who ask for more funds.
But this quiver-squirt is working diligently to blow the whistle on those union thugs. I read today that an eel swam into a man’s penis in a Japanese resort (or something like that). I want something like that to happen to this kid. And I want his insurance company to drop him right then and there—eels swimming into your dick isn’t in the contract, kid, you should of thought of that before you got in the water..
He could go to Dr Ron Paul for his healthcare. Oh wait. That’s not the good doctor’s responsibility. Let him die. (thunderous applause)
That, along with a bunch of those flies that lay their eggs under the skin.
…
And a Justin Bieber earworm to top it all off!
It just so happens that my latest blerg entry is super-relevant to this convo…if anyone’s interested.
October 19, 2011 at 1:30
@RWW
ELECTROCUTE THE BEANERS
(thunderous applause)
???
The post in question had no mention of Bieberworms or penis-eels. I haz a dissapoint.
Fuck. The anonymouse was me.
Oh, thank you–I was stumped re: what to blerg about next!
Bieberworms or penis-eels
Helpful Smut is helpful.
There goes Happy as candirus in a dick . That would have caught on.
Apologies to Big Gay Al, as played by Marcus Bachmann:
Bombs are flying, beaners are frying, politicians are lying too
Cancer’s killing
Texaco’s spilling
The whole world’s gone to hell, but how are you?
There once was a cock-boring eel,
Who squirmed his way into some heel
Who’d a date set that night
And to the cock-eel’s delight,
Cunt was its very next meal.
You’re welcome.
OOOOOOH
you win
I shoop at Winco for staples. Some of the produce isn’t bad but it’s definitely second tier stuff. I admit with some shame that I occasionally buy the whole beef tenderloin for $5.98 / pound or the whole rib eye for $4.98. It’s factory beef but at least it’s OR factory beef. And beer.
Wanted: Male research assistants to stand naked in waist-deep water and urinate in presence of vicious penis-invading eels to test theory of eels’ attraction to urine.
Fred’s dead at the hands of a penis eel…
I shop at Winco exclusively, although I’m sure the low prices are a direct result of slave wage labor and I think that employee-owned shit is a scam if it’s anything like the employee-owned crap that got popular in the 90’s. Nobody got any money or any say in the direction of the company, just more of the same bullshit. So I shop there and feel bad about it.
So I shop there and feel bad about it.
tsam: Motivational speaker.
It’s systemic,tsam. We do our best. “Life is Triage.”
I spent years in democratically operated student housing coops, and we did business with food buying clubs, and a consumer coop grocery store. Some people seemed to think it was “socialist borg hivemind collective stuff.”
How many Americans have ever lived in a democratic situation where they had to make the rules, enforce them, bend them, come up with new rules, adapt, and cooperate to keep the lights on and keep the household/job/club—working? Democracy isn’t easy, but it’s not that hard either. It requires taking responsibility and holding others responsible. Bullshit never did walk very far. Why is genuine Democratic organization seen as totalitarian and socialist-scary-monster? Because a democratically run organization wouldn’t vote for everyone in it to push the fruits of their labor to the top 1% so they can use it to fuck us up the ass without lubricant and have their minions lecture us about how “lazy” we are and what terrible choices we made; and wouldn’t it be easier if they didn’t have to lecture us anymore—we all just internalize, “Work harder. I’m not enough. I’m never enough. Must work harder.” as if the success of the top 1% has anything to do with working hard or satisfying anyone but themselves.
Eat the rich. If they think the pound sign is “radical” then they just need to keep pushing and keep telling us how ungrateful we are to them because we don’t thank them enough for taking far more of the fruits of our collective labor than these soft, pink motherfucking assholes give back.
So mote it be, bitchez.
Oh the humanity!
If you can’t get it up, it just means you haven’t got that candiru attitude.
Thanks. I’ll be here all week. Try the penis-eel.
I shoop at Winco for staples.
How much collating do you do?
“Eat the rich. If they think the pound sign is “radical” then they just need to keep pushing and keep telling us how ungrateful we are to them because we don’t thank them enough for taking far more of the fruits of our collective labor than these soft, pink motherfucking assholes give back.”
I hate it when people say “This.” to things they agree with…but…this.
“I shoop at Winco for staples.”
I shop there for Office Depot.
More students on university and college campuses are cutting calories during the day so they can binge drink at night
Boy, am I ever glad we NEVER did that back during the 80s.
This ia the part where a comically-large cane yanks me off stage.
I shop there for Office Depot.
You buy Office Depot at Winco?
You really ARE doing well, aren’t you?
Also, AHEM.
This ia the part where a comically-large cane yanks me off stage.
This.
tsam: Motivational speaker.
Self aware hypocrite?
Well, I’m not gonna listen to your STOOPID podcast now.
Also, I thought you meant little “s” “staples”.
YOU CAN’T AHEM ME.
I REFUDIATE YOUR AHEMS.
More students on university and college campuses are cutting calories during the day so they can binge drink at night, leaving them open to long-term health problems, new U.S. research suggests.
Results from a study out of the University of Missouri found that as many as one in five students save their calories for alcohol, an eating and drinking disorder dubbed ‘drunkorexia.
Oh. Well this would solve that problem of not being able to get drunk enough, an unfortunate affliction suffered by most college aged kids.
I think either way, the s in staples is lower case.
Well, I’m not gonna listen to your STOOPID podcast now.
Also, I thought you meant little “s” “staples”.
YOU CAN’T AHEM ME.
GET EM GIRL!
that as many as one in five students save their calories for alcohol, an eating and drinking disorder dubbed ‘drunkorexia.
Yeah, we never did THAT in the 80s either.
Donating blood products really helped with that.
And oh yeah: donate blood everybody because it’s a really good thing to do! [Glug glug glug.]
I never did any of that shit. I never had any problem getting drunk enough to make really bad decisions in the 80s, 90s, 00s or this week.
I used to get bummed that I missed out on the whole college experience ‘cuz of the whole friends and learning thing. But reading about all the I’ll-advised drunkeness has really got me feeling blue.
VS, why can’t I be tsam on your blahg?
I dunno. FU, Blooger.
That guy mark, though, he’s aight.
That guy mark, though, he’s aight.
Don’t tell him I said so, but I think he’s kind of a douche. I’d BAN HIS SHIT
I’ll-advised
That’s kind of a thing of beauty.
Just saw a whole bunch of the CNN Las Vegas GOP Debate & boy, are my eyelids tired!
Shorter Viva Las Vermin = Faith is #1 & reason is ghey, Obama sucks, drill baby drill, Obama sucks, no moar foreign aid (no no no, we don’t mean YOU, Israel, heh heh), Obama REALLY sucks, drone-attack teh Mexicans, & OBAMA SUCKS LIKE A HOOVERCANE!
Interesting aftereffect of McCain’s “Last Man Standing” gambit in 2008 seems to be that all the hopeless cases look like they’re happy to keep right on rolling the dice – even long after their odds of winning have become microscopic. Are there still going to be more than six raging sociopaths to choose from after New Year’s?
STAY TUNED.
I’d BAN HIS SHIT
I also recommend you ban M. Bouffant’s shit. Cuz otherwise he’ll post a video of it.
To her credit
First time I went to college there was a bar in the student union. Austin was a great place to be poor and drunk at the time. Second time I went to college, no alcohol was served on campus so the “kids” drove their cars places to get shit-faced.
Cheap alcohol conveniently located. Take a cab home or walk a few blocks with friends. No problem.
Can I have some peanut butter?
But reading about all the I’ll-advised drunkeness has really got me feeling blue.
Yeah, I would be regretful if I would have missed that.
I could buy beer with my student ID, which was, conveniently, a credit-card type thingie.
I used to get bummed that I missed out on the whole college experience ‘cuz of the whole friends and learning thing
Why was I not told about these “friends and learning” options?
I could buy beer with my student ID, and money.
I was 17 at the time, so the ID was a key part of the transaction.
WOOHOO! said I.
~
I really wish we were more like Europe with alcohol. Sure, alcoholism, binge drinking, staggering home plastered out of you wits can be degrading and dangerous, but all the more reason to learn to drink at home with people who can let you know when you’ve had enough and you have time to learn your limits.
I enlisted when I was 17. I trained to drink and smoke.
Ha, the Wiki entry is still abused.
the wiki entry is killing me, I love it, never a truer word spoken about a total moron
Oh. Good laugh. Very good laugh. Probably will wake myself up laughing tonight. Poor little fella. (hit him again)
Will NOT figure out how to wikiscrew so anyone want to quote from the genius himself —-his furries article where he humbly goes on and on about himself and how others he knows go on an on about him and how badly they want him in the White House so he might appoint one of them to be an Official Dog Poop Pooper- Scooper—that’s one of the President’s jobs, right? Hiring the grounds crew and janitors?
Salt o’thu derp or unminshunnable fetish dat was minshunned?
all the more reason to learn to drink at home with people who can let you know when you’ve had enough
One’s children?
Shaka, When The Walls Fell
still laffin’.
~
You wanna know the only time in my life that I’ve ever drunk myself sick? As an 18-year-old in Europe, many years ago. Made that mistake once and never made it again. My European buddies loved to drink and party, but there was something inherently more balanced about them than a comparable crowd in the States. They just could handle it better. They also never drove drunk, and tended not to have hookups that everyone regretted the next day.
You wanna know the only time in my life that I’ve ever drunk myself sick? As an 18-year-old in Europe, many years ago. Made that mistake once and never made it again. My European buddies loved to drink and party, but there was something inherently more balanced about them than a comparable crowd in the States. They just could handle it better. They also never drove drunk, and tended not to have hookups that everyone regretted the next day.
I was in a Europe appreciate facebook group soon after getting an account: the only quote that still sticks out in my head went “If you understand that alcohol than improve a party but that the party shouldn’t be about the alcohol…”
Europe *appreciation
Wouldn’t it just be worse to his self-worth to just have Wikipedia delete his entry as ‘not important enough’?
Wouldn’t it just be worse to his self-worth to just have Wikipedia delete his entry as ‘not important enough’?
Who cares!? I can’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I’ve laughed at this well earned trouncing.
Yes, Smut Clyde. When the children look like they’re thinking that maybe they’ve put just a little too much faith in you, it’s time to put down the drink.
Compare and contrast the humor in “Mary Worth” and “Mark Trail”.
Comics HAD to be related to Murdochs or Hearsts or some other media magnates. Those things were such a waste of ink.
When the children look like they’re thinking that maybe they’ve put just a little too much faith in you, it’s time to put down the drink.
Uh-oh.
They just could handle it better. They also never drove drunk, and tended not to have hookups that everyone regretted the next day.
LOL–I read this like you were saying these are a good things. Heh. Good one.
“Among the punitive, the vindictive, and pettiness of Dodd-Frank there stands one potentially seismic thought that sits so far not implemented.”
Forbes pays good money for writing like this??
Re Mallard. I just figured Tinsley couldn’t remember the difference between Che Guevara and Ceasar Chavez, but sort of recalled one of them was all about hippies and vegetables. So he flipped a coin and got it wrong. What a fucking surprise.
Wouldn’t it just be worse to his self-worth to just have Wikipedia delete his entry as ‘not important enough’?
It was WP:PROD (proposed for deletion) two weeks after creation for lack of notability. Here’s teh reasoning:
Teh entry before all teh brilliant and extremely accurate updates was pretty much a bogus entry. Teh page was made by someone with almost no Wikipedia history, although it was a very old account. It was almost entirely primary source material – i.e. Josie’s own biographies at places he blogged and Josie’s own articles and columns. So basically, yeah – teh entry should be deleted. D00d is not notable in teh Wikipedia sense of teh word.
I need to chill. Got a lot of burrs outta my butt tonight. Better chill wid de man. New movie night. I’m gonna sleep like a baby.
It actually isn’t. Once all the noise dies down – Josie or his masters will notice the Wiki page soon, and it’ll probably get reverted and locked due to vandalism (as Wikipedia defines it) – I’ll tag the article as not-notable. Does the kid have any published book material by a major imprint? Ever held office? Ever done anything aside from spewing derp on American Stinker?
Then he’s not notable. Internet-only citations carry very little weight without any major print or other media citations. So it’ll likely get deleted and locked out, until and unless someone can come up with Wikipedia-acceptable citations.
Anybody else know of any wingnut derpmasters with their own vanity Wikipedia pages? If their work (I use the term loosely) is only published on the Internet, it usually means WP admin will delete the page as non-notable – IF it’s brought to their attention.
I hate it when people say “This.” to things they agree with…but…this.
Almost as bad as “LOL.”
So what happened? Did someone remove the tag?
I’ll tag the article as not-notable.
Excellent. I was going to do it myself, but I figured requesting deletion on a new account isn’t looked kindly upon. I might chime in when it does go to AfD, but considering how egregiously bad that entry is in terms of ego-stroking ridiculousness i suspect it won’t be necessary.
Almost as bad as “LOL.”
Fuck off. Don’t knock being a lazy shit until you try it.
So what happened? Did someone remove the tag?
Yup. Original author. As justification, she added that Josie had tea with Christopher Monckton and met a bunch of other wingnuts. Also he may have appeared at a Tea Party rally.
Oooh, totes notable now!
Yep, the User “Sincerely Amanda” simply removed the tag. That’s a big no-no in Wikiland.
“She” has also ridden in to the rescue and put the article back as it was. Cool. Now it’s time for the not notable tag…
OMG. One of teh links she added was a Cantrall YouTube interview with Monckton that has an astounding almost 500 views,/b>.
No seriously, it’s pretty blatantly – uh how’s teh phrase go? What Wikipedia is not.
OMG. One of teh links she added was a Cantrall YouTube interview with Monckton that has an astounding almost 500 views.
No seriously, it’s pretty blatantly – uh how’s teh phrase go? What Wikipedia is not.
Whooo, there’s some odd tagfail.
Bullshit. Where’s the reliable third-party reference?
Besides being not notable, there are also provisions in Wikipedia guidelines to discourage blatant self-promotion. Video interviews he conducts with YouTube as the only distro are like blog pages he writes. Anybody can do it. He needs bylines in major publications, a book deal, or a MSM gig to be notable.
Look, a wingnut like Erik Son-of-Erik is notable because he’s got those things that Wikipedia considers reliable third-party citations. This little guy is not, he’s just abusing Wikipedia for naked self-promotion.
Now, see, this is the kind of fine work I’ve been missing from S,N! lately. Seems like these days it’s all Shorters and complaints about how Obama is a traitor.
04:35, 19 October 2011? SincerelyAmanda (talk | contribs)? (8,156 bytes) (Practiced some peer-review editing to get extra credit as a history student, perhaps. In otherwords, outsmarted some time-wasting media hijackers and cleaned up the mess they made.)
You see that Sadlynaughts you just got beaten in battle of wits by a history student practicing some peer-review editing. BURRRN!!!
mmy, here’s a site where you’ll never have to worry about reading any criticism of Obama.
Not my cup of tea, as I prefer the reality-based community.
~
the home-schooled, 12-year-old baby Republican du jour
Justin Teaber
(Practiced some peer-review editing to get extra credit as a history student, perhaps..) Well, ‘she’ sure as shit ain’t no English student, perhaps.
So the original author cleaned the article up?
I suspect that someone might be busy today reversing that….
Seems like these days it’s all Shorters and complaints about how Obama is a traitor.
Hey, Soros welfare doesn’t come without a price, you know?
Josiah Jedediah Ezekiel Cantrall is not representative of all homeschoolers.
I homeschooled both my boys and I assure you they are both better researchers and writers then Mr. Cantrall.
Josiah Jedediah Ezekiel Cantrall is not representative of all homeschoolers.
Of course not, but he’s a typical fundamentalist right-wing loon. I would imagine that you meet the type all the time in the broader homeschooling community. The problem with the type is that they’ve basically nuked the word “homeschooler” from orbit, as well as the words “christian” and “family”.
Alasandra, I don’t think anyone is criticizing home-schooling per se. We are criticizing, as B^4 points out, the failure of this parent to instill even the slightest hint of the value of research, which speaks to an inability to think and connect those thoughts into a coherent and logical position on an issue.
Or, to simply admit you have no clue about it.
Cantrall critiques public education without having set foot in a classroom in anger. That’s as biased and wrong as people here making fun of home schooling as a practice.
Or, to simply admit you have no clue about it.
I didn’t mean to highlight this as if it was an attack on you, Alasandra. By “you,” I mean the pupil.
All of which, of course, does raise a major criticism of home schooling in concept: the idea of feedback from someone more knowledgable in a subject that the student as well as the exposure to different points of view held by people willing to defend them.
Those are the essence of a good education, in my view.
But I’m willing to be rebutted 🙂
mmy, here’s a site where you’ll never have to worry about reading any criticism of Obama. Not my cup of tea, as I prefer the reality-based community
No, I’m just saying, I come here for the humor. I stay for the political commentary, even that which I disagree with. But I come* for the humor.
*VER
,,,reliable third-party citations,,,
TL,DR version: strong delete.
For Joe Max and/or other Wikipedians who want to flag teh Cantrall page as AfD:
There are 18 references on teh Cantrall entry. One is the subject’s Facebook, one is his LinkedIn, three are bios from websites he blogs at and two are bios from teh Wisconsin/Washington County GOP. Five are labelled as YouTube links although one is actually hosted by Fox’s Red Eye. None of teh YouTube videos have moar than 5,000 views. One link is another self-published video interview at mefeedia and another interview video is a dead link to World News Network (proudly proclaiming over 50,000 new articles daily). One link is an announcement that Josie will be on Sippy Cup’s show. And one link is to one of teh subject’s own columns (also listed as one of his “publications” but link goes to a mirror site).
Teh two remaining links deal with how he “gained national recognition for his investigative reporting during the Wisconsin union protests in February 2011.” One of the two is at BigGovernment, which he lists as one of the places he writes for. At best, one out of eighteen references meets teh WP:BASIC tenet of being independent from teh subject.
Regarding that investigative reporting – Wikipedia is not a newspaper and Bio of Living Person based on a Single Event (WP:BLP1E) generally does not warrant a separate article (from teh Single Event). Further, teh notability of his actual reporting is questionable at best. While teh Wisconsin Teacher’s Union Strike was a notable event garnering substantive coverage in most major media outlets, asserted notability relates to only a single small aspect of teh strike – teh “fake” doctors’ notes. Additionally, Cantrall is not the only one to report on these notes on the day in question. Here is a link from Teh Atlantic featuring Cantrall’s video and three others as well. One of the other videos has nearly ten times the number of YouTube views as Cantrall’s. The “national recognition” being asserted is not demonstrated by teh references. A Google News search for “Josiah Cantrall” covering the time period in question turns up a single hit – a mention in the county daily newspaper (The Waukesha Freeman, with circulation numbers around 12K).
The subsection titled “Controversy” has problems with WP:NPOV. More than half of the section is a direct quote from the subject and he is relating an anecdote that is frankly, very difficult to believe. The anecdote is also related to his single event and presents Josiah as undertaking intrepid undercover reporting (which is also seen in teh tone of his video) and yet others who covered the same issue on the same day clearly show that the practice with the doctors’ notes was already widely known and not being concealed by the participants.
Finally, article was marked WP:PROD two weeks after original authorship. Original author removed tag and left no explanation in the talk page explaining why. Additionally, original author looks very much like a SPA.
I don’t think anyone is criticizing home-schooling per se.
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I’ll criticize that as a “per se”. It makes about as much as practicing home dentistry–even if you’re a dentist. Going to school is about far more than just imparting some facts to your children. As Actor pointed out, it is about being exposed to people and ideas that are outside the narrow bubble of your parents’ biases–which is exactly why so many narrow-minded, bigoted people choose to home-school. I want my children to grow and learn alongside Christians, atheists, Hispanics, blacks, blondes, tall people, handicapped, rich, poor, left-handed and overweight people. And those people deserve to have the experience of learning from my kids, too.
As justification, she added that Josie had tea with Christopher Monckton and met a bunch of other wingnuts.
I’ve had cocktails and chit chat with Madeleine Albright and discussed photography and sailing with John Poindexter. WHERE’S MY WIKI ENTRY?!!
Check. Make that two references as being independent of subject. The announcement that he will be featured in a single segment of a single episode of S.E. Cupp’s show meets WP:BASIC criteria. Although it still doesn’t do much for WP:Notability.
I’ve … discussed photography and sailing with John Poindexter.
YOU MONSTER.
WHERE’S MY WIKI ENTRY?!!
You need to scatter half a dozen self-authored biographies of yourself at various locales first.
Note that teh Cantrall page hyperlinks “Moonie Times” when listing Cantrall’s “places he writes for.” BUT, he doesn’t actually write for Moonie Times – he writes for “Moonie Times Community” which appears to be their blogging platform.
Therefore you can probably claim affiliation with Google due to being a Contributor at a site hosted by Blogger. Despite posting less frequently than I do. Hint, hint.
Just let that sink in – teh wiki page is trying to imply that he’s good enough to write for Reverend Moon’s loss leader – and he isn’t.
Actually, I kinda feel really bad about being so harsh now.
I’ve had cocktails and chit chat with Madeleine Albright and discussed photography and sailing with John Poindexter.
I fucked Ann Coulter in the ass. Where’s MY Wiki entry?
Um, wait. I was supposed to keep that on the down low.
S.E. Cupp’s show
So Internet “appearances” count?
Fuck, let me go amp up my YouTube channel and spam it with hundreds of videos of myself!
WHERE’S MY WIKI ENTRY?!!
I believe that tigris deserves a wiki entry, and we are just the people to write it.
~
“blondes”
Now you’ve gone too far.
DKW: I’m so going to use your research, if you don’t mind.
But I’m going to wait a day or so until the dust settles.
And those people deserve to have the experience of learning from my kids, too.
For me, it was about inflicting the product of my crappy parenting on the rest of the planet.
I am proud to know that my kids are available to be used as a bad example to other children as part of their well-rounded educational experience. Every bit as important as role-models.
DKW: I’m so going to use your research, if you don’t mind.
Please do. That’s why I put it together. Just thought it might look bad marking an article AfD from a new account. Especially with teh SPA note.
So Internet “appearances” count?
Geez, I kinda forgot that her “show” is a GBTV thing. I vaguely remember her hosting crap at Faux – but that was as a stand-in for when teh regular blowhards were on vacation.
We’re back to “at most one” WP:BASIC references – and that one is Jim Hoft.
I am proud to know that my kids are available to be used as a bad example to other children as part of their well-rounded educational experience.
As my child is now an adult, I feel I can pass along a trade-secret: threaten to send them to every birthday party you hear about.
I bought me a Chevy with all the kickbacks!
Had to share this comment from Gawker, posted on the news that Tony Bologna of NYPD pepper spray fascism fame, would get the extra harsh punishment of having some vacation days docked. I’m sure the victims would agree that this is a satisfactory response to police brutality. Anyway, here is the hilarious comment:
That is unbelievably funny.
Tony Bologna of NYPD pepper spray fascism fame, would get the extra harsh punishment of having some vacation days docked.
FREE BOLOGNA!
The pound sign is evil now?
Duh. You know who else liked the pound sign?
Dr. Octothorp?
In fairness, # is pretty sharp.
Your analogy falls flat
Your analogy falls flat
It’s only natural.
Okay … Tintin, HTML Mecken, or Brad need to take a swing at this new idiocy (via Wonkette, since I won’t give any teatardaloon site a single page view):
Yes. Because nothing will ensure a business’ success than not having any workers and refusing money from customers who are willing to give it to you.
Dear fucking lord these people are weapons grade stupid.
And the mangoes in comments are quite tasty. So much so that I can’t tell if they’re legit, or dropped there by a Wonketteir.
A sample:
Yes … because ssoooooo many are hiring right now.
We’re not racists! YOU’RE THE REAL RACISTS!!!
Burn all of your money!! That’ll show ’em!
**blink**
**blink blink**
What the fuck does that even mean?!
Wait — I thought teatards LOOOVVED them some veterans.
I guess serving your nation for slave wages and the chance to come home a little light in the limb category now makes one a marxisticsocialistliberal because you might one day use a VA hospital to get treatment for PTSD. Or something. Who the fuck knows anymore?
Because good, gawdafearin teatards will never, ever be affected by a shitty economy in any way whatsoever. Nope. Not at all.
There is not enough available karma in the world to punish these assholes in the manner in which they should be punished.
I wish there was, but there just isn’t.
tigris-
You are receiving some bad advice here. Cantrall’s real claim to fame is that he busted doctors giving fake sick passes in Madison earlier this year. So, what you really need to do is infiltrate some “Occupy” protest and bust someone who actually pays income taxes. I know, I know. What are the odds? But if Cantrall, who was home-schooled, can do it, I am sure you are capable.
Either that or prove that you were a good hall-monitor in fifth grade.
Burn your socialist currency. $1, $5, $10 ,etc bills should be set ablaze like the night sky on 1776!!
This has to be a troll.
So, what you really need to do is infiltrate some “Occupy” protest and bust someone who actually pays income taxes.
Political theatre! Quick, tig! Fly to NY. I’ll attend the protest, see…
And the mangoes in comments are quite tasty.
So “scorched earth” is still the Plan B with these guys? Nice to know.
So “scorched earth” is still the Plan B with these guys? Nice to know.
Wait. This was their “other” plan?
Dear God, I can only imagine what their other other plan is….
Resolved that: When I cook risotto everything is a handful of this or a couple shakes of that &c. so I never know exactly how much I will end up making, and just to be on the safe side, I always try to err on the side of moar risotto than is required for the meal, because let me tell you, risotto does surprisingly well in teh nuker for a reheated lunch.
So this week-end left me with a batch of leftover mushroom and onion risotto – mmm, mmm tasty. And it’s getting to be around that time of day when I need some food
to help slow down teh absorbtion of all that office bourbon.I, do, hereby, declare, (land’s sakes!), it’s now a time for some eatin’.
“I’m on lunch!”
Just made a # of # for breakfast – feeding a # of people with # appetites. .
Once you go Galt…
I just wish those assholes really would just Go Galt already.
They’d have a massive sad once they realized they’re not all that important and that no one noticed and/or cared.
Translated!
The best part of the # freakout is that it’s done by Zombie, I’m assuming one of Charles Johnson’s old friends from back when he was batshit crazy.
Dear God, I can only imagine what their other other plan is….
Correct me if I’m wrong, but OWS is currently protesting a fragment of Plan A. The rest of it seems to involve keeping “certain people” from voting, marrying, starting up a viable business, running for office…
BTW, I’m pretty sure most of those comments are (funny) trolls messing with the ‘Baggers.
Also too, this going Galt thing depends upon the premise that the blessed Job-Creators are creating jobs now. Well, they ain’t. So, what are they gonna do? Create negative jobs? Srsly, could these people get any dumber, meaner and more cut-of-nose-to-spite-face-ier?
Is Josiah Jedediah Ezekiel Cantrall the next Jonathan Krohn?
Josiah Jedediah Jebidiah disease comes next.
That rant is AWESOME. Unfortunately, if it had come from a real business owner, he would be out of business by now or soon will be. Which, hey–if some assfaced repig goes out of business because he wants to stick it to OBUMMER and won’t hire enough people to do the job, then I’m more that glad to see that business go down and the customers do business with someone who isn’t an habitual poop eater.
Also too, Tea Party d00d gots to lurn teh WHEREAS part. I mean he’s got teh general idea with teh various observations leading up to some sort of resolution. BUT teh resolution is teh part that gets resolved. It’s supposed to go:
WHEREAS, your mom is totes super easy;
AND WHEREAS, she’s somehow irresistable despite her corpulent excesses;
AND WHEREAS, I’ve already got my pants off;
Be it so RESOLVED THAT: Bow-chikka-wow-wow.
And afore any of y’all go and point out that his version is actually moar accurate based on how Tea Party people ignore actual facts and reality and RESOLVE THAT; wev SOSHULASM is plighting their bairns and giving their lumbagos a mean case of gippe – consider yourself A-HEMed
Mark D said,
[LOGORRHEA ADVISORY] October 19, 2011 at 17:45 (kill)
That has GOT to be fake. I know because it made me laugh. If you discover otherwise, don’t let me know, I’d hate for it to turn rueful.
Either that or prove that you were a good hall-monitor in fifth grade.
Alas, I was a library patrol. I was a book-shelving wiz, though.
WHEREAS the underpants be stolen; and
WHEREAS ellipses,
Be it so RESOLVED THAT: Profit!!
Create negative jobs?
FIRE EVERYONE! GO OUT OF BUSINESS!
.
Mark D said,
October 19, 2011 at 17:45
Wow. Thanks for the mango.
You know what happens even if all of their fantasies come true? The country collapses, and some other country, whose upper class hasn’t completely lost it and isn’t willing to destroy the entire country in a fit of entitlement, takes over.
The list of countries that’ve crashed and burned because of the stupidity or entitlement of their upper classes is long and distinguished. Democracy was supposed to counteract that by making the upper classes a little more accountable to the will of the average voter, but apparently that’s not how things work, so… down the drain with us.
Might be a bit late but…
Alesandra-
Josiah Jedediah Ezekiel Cantrall is not representative of all homeschoolers.
I homeschooled both my boys and I assure you they are both better researchers and writers then Mr. Cantrall.
I noted above that home schooling can have inherent advantages over public schooling (1 on 1 teacher student interactions, the ability to personally alter pace and lesson plan to tailor it to one student’s specific aptitude, the encouragement that comes from heavy teacher attention, and the ability to continue learning on a more natural schedule).
Basically, public schooling works best for large groups, but home schooling with an intelligent and motivated parent, can provide benefits public schooling can’t because it needs to address the needs of the many. Not to mention that public schools tend to be over-crowded on class size which reduces benefits that come from more 1:1 interactions.
Where the problems come in is in the fact that the teacher is only as good as the parent. If you have a motivated parent with a strong interest in reality (and the time to spend basically having an unpaid full-time job) then the results can be good outside the obvious problems with socialization and time spent acclimating outside the home environment.
With the hordes of “I want to brainwash my child for Jesus” types, though, it actually makes them less informed than if they just let their TVs raise them. They end up lacking both social awareness and even a cursory understanding of reality.
It’s just one of those things.
Also too, this going Galt thing depends upon the premise that the blessed Job-Creators are creating jobs now.
I know. It’s always been an empty threat, seeing as how a) they aren’t nearly as important as they think they are and b) they tend to be instantly replaceable and would be if they left with nary a thought back.
But they make it anyways because it makes them feel important and helps fuel the self-delusions that the country couldn’t do without their important contributions.
Of course, it is even more apparent bullshit now, because the job they claim they are doing is creating jobs in the middle of a second great depression so strong that not even the media blatantly ignoring it is distracting people from the fact it is happening.
Anyone with even the remotest connection to the real world knows there ain’t no jobs out there and so having someone go, “grr, lavish me in praise or I won’t hire” just sounds like someone nominating themselves to be the scapegoat we take our frustrations with the economy out on.
Oh, you want to pretend that you are in charge of all this? Okay, let me get my baseball bat and we can “discuss” your important role in why I have had 0 income for nearly 18 months.
This is why the USMC decision to cut tuition assistance to active duty Marines equals Freedom! The Marines are getting weened from the Socialist Government Tit!
Freedom!!!
I know. It’s always been an empty threat, seeing as how a) they aren’t nearly as important as they think they are and b) they tend to be instantly replaceable and would be if they left with nary a thought back.
I’ve always believed that anyone who threatens to Go Galt ought to be given a ticket on the B-Ark, gratis.
I mean, really. Babe Ruth was the most talented ball player in baseball history, yet the Yankees have managed to win twenty more championships without him.
Ya ain’t replaceable, shawty.
Ya ain’t irreplaceable, shawty.
Damn. Jokes are funnier without typos.
[…] – Of course, the title itself creates high hopes for Master Cantrall’s article, promising to fall ri…. […]
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