Sep
12

Siwwy Wabbit, Wights Are For Stwaight White People




Posted at 21:59 by Tintin


ABOVE: A speculative rendering of Robin of Berkeley based on a forensic analysis
of her blog posts.

Shorter Robin of Bezerkley, A Licensed Psychotherapist, The American Genius
What the World Needs Now

  • I am sick to death of people — gays and blacks particularly — demanding their “rights.” Instead of talking about their rights, they should be required to spend one entire year calling their grandmothers and leaving small change on the ground.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

173 Comments »

  1. Spearhafoc, who is changing his nym said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:03

    I have no idea what that means, but I ain’t getting off the boat to find out.

    Could somebody illuminate me? And I don’t mean shine a flashlight at me.

  2. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:03

    Almost tempted to get our of the boat…

  3. LittlePig said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:05

    What the world
    needs now
    is whitey, boss whitey
    that’s the only way
    the world will be all-righty….

  4. Spearhafoc, who is changing his nym said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:05

    Damn. Cryptic Shorters are so tempting.

    Nope. Not gonna do it. My sanity is tenuous enough already.

  5. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:05

    I trust Tintin.

    Yet, I’ll get out of the boat. (AFTER a run to the grocery store).
    ~

  6. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:06

    As an older person, I remember the good old days (which get better and better the older I get). You didn’t demand your rights with your parents or your teachers or anyone else. If you did, you’d get either a slap across the face or a stern lecture about not acting so uppity.

    Back then, you weren’t entitled to anything unless you earned it.

    Robin is apparently over 200 years old.

  7. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:07

    Guh-huh? A “shiny young college student” asked her if she would help on rights for immigrants and her problem is that people aren’t doing things for other people? Was this young college student shiny with foreign-ness?

    And then teh whole “I’m getting senile, but I still have these misty water coloured memories” bit – well that showed a modicum of self-awareness. But then it’s totes “OFFA MAH LAWN! YOU FUCKERS QUIT ACTING SO ENTITLED AND BEHAVE MOAR LIEK MY GENERATION – TEH BABY BOOMERS!”

    Really?!

    Fuck. I gotta learn.

    Stay. In. The. Boat.

  8. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:10

    Uh, gonna need a detoxification team! It’s a stupid take on “little, random acts of kindness” that ignores the systematic denial of rights to certain classes of people. Yeah, drop that dime on the ground so the homeless vet who’s been denied benefits can buy… what the fuck can anyone buy for a dime?

  9. OTB said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:11

    Got out of boat….c-c-can’t….see the shoreline….help…please…

  10. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:19

    Got out of boat….c-c-can’t….see the shoreline….help…please…

    Here, grab hold of my PENIS!!!

  11. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:22

    HoleeCrapholio!!!

    Ah, yes. Back in the day, if you got “uppity” (her word. fuuuck) they’d just take you out and lynch you. There weren’t no fancy “rights” or nothin. That’s what America needs today. Less “rights”. What are these people thinking? They should be treated like people? Unless you’re born to vast wealth, you should simply be traded like cattle. I mean, come on.

    I… I… I just don’t… I… Umm… Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:22

    I’m referring to being kind. And doing so for no personal gain, simply because as human beings we are supposed to.

    Notice an old woman struggling to get across the street, and do not mug her — help her!

    Ohhhhh. I get it now. Oops! Sorry mom.

  13. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:25

    Also, too.

  14. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:30

    Notice an old woman struggling to get across the street, and do not mug her — help her! Open the door for someone using a cane.

    Why can’t I open the door with my hand? Why must I use a cane? Is this a magic trick?

  15. tigris said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:30

    Robin always makes me wish the government would recognize its citizens’ right to mental health care.

  16. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:31

    Maybe the cane is so you don’t get germs from things. Wicked wicked germs that are on everything and everyone.

  17. vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:32

    “Ohhhhh. I get it now. Oops! Sorry mom”

    I LAUGHED ALOUD.

  18. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:37

    Maybe the cane is so you don’t get germs from things. Wicked wicked germs that are on everything and everyone.

    I think I’ll also use the cane when touching the old woman who’s crossing the street. Old people can be like giant wrinkled petri dishes full of coughs and sneezes, and I don’t want to end up like Gweneth Paltrow in Contagion.

  19. ckelly said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:37

    Fuck. I gotta learn.

    Stay. In. The. Boat.

    The Horror…the horror.

  20. LD said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:37

    Funny coincident, just before I read the post, I watched QI, and the hypno therapist part of her creditentials, well…

    …check the video from about 1:00 forward, and make up your mind.

    Coincidence?
    Gods message?

  21. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:38

    Gwyneth, that is.

  22. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:41

    ALWAYS. Trust. The. Shorter.™

    There’s only one possible motivation for Robin’s post: Gramma has lost her deposit bottle route.

  23. Chyron HR said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:42

    Notice an old woman struggling to get across the street, and do not mug her

    Just revoke her pension like a civilized person!

  24. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:44

    Yeah, drop that dime on the ground so the homeless vet who’s been denied benefits can buy… what the fuck can anyone buy for a dime?

    Worse. Make him WORK for your measly charity.

  25. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:44

    Just revoke her pension like a civilized person!

    What. You think she has a “right” to that pension?

  26. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:47

    Notice an old woman struggling to get across the street, and do not mug her — help her!

    Meanwhile, since her Medicare has been cut, she’s off her Prozac, so she imagines you’re there to mug her and whaps the crap out of you with her pocketbook.

  27. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:49

    Call your grandma to cheer her up, and send flowers to your mom for no reason other than she gave you life. Smile at someone who looks a bit glum; leave a dime on the ground for someone else to pick up.

    I called grandma, and she said she needed cheering up because I’d sent flowers to Mom and not her. They got into an argument over it, which made my Mom feel glum, so I smiled at her. The smile started to make her feel a little bit better and she said she was going to go give some of her flowers to grandma, but as she was walking out the door, she tripped over a guy who was bending down to pick up the dime I’d deliberately dropped on the sidewalk. So now she’s in intensive care at the hospital. My grandmother felt so guilty she suffered a stroke.

    So, thanks a lot, Robin, for killing my family.

  28. vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:49

    I’m genuinely baffled by what I just read. She tells people to help others for altruistic reasons.

    ISNT THAT WHAT THE SHINY STUDENT WAS DOING?

  29. Nittany said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:52

    Apparently, no one prior to the baby boomers ever organized to demand their rights. Odd that a woman would forget there ever was a women’s suffrage movement.

    The only rights one obtains without demanding them and defending them are the rights others are willing to let you have, the metaphorical crumbs that fall from the feast. There is a reason why Latinos, gays, blacks, women, Native Americans, Muslims, etc. demand their rights; they deserve them. Doesn’t Robin realize there are plenty of “normal” people today who had to do the very same thing, demand their rights?

  30. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:52

    Why does her piece sound so damned familiar?

    I just can’t imagine…

    It’s the one night when we all act a little nicer.
    We…we smile a little easier. We…we…share a little more.
    For a couple of hours we are the people we always hoped we would be.
    It’s really a miracle because it happens every Christmas Eve.
    And if you waste that miracle, you’re gonna burn for it. I know.
    You have to do something. You have to take a chance and get involved.
    There are people that don’t have enough to eat and who are cold.
    You can go and greet these people.
    Take an old blanket out to them or make a sandwich and say, “Here.”
    “l get it now.”
    And if you give, then it can happen, the miracle can happen to you.
    Not just the poor and hungry, Everybody’s gotta have this miracle!
    It can happen tonight for you all!
    If you believe in this pure thing,
    the miracle will happen and you’ll want it again tomorrow!
    You won’t say, “Christmas is once a year and it’s a fraud.” It’s not!
    It can happen every day! You’ve just got to want that feeling!
    You’ll want it every day! It can happen to you!
    I believe in it now.
    I believe it’s gonna happen to me, now. I’m ready for it!
    And it’s great. It’s a good feeling.
    It’s better than I’ve felt in a long time.
    I’m ready.
    Have a Merry Christmas. Everybody.

  31. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:53

    Apparently, no one prior to the baby boomers ever organized to demand their rights.

    The Magna Carta was just a laundry list.

  32. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:59

    As an older person, I remember the good old days (which get better and better the older I get).

    It’s called “dementia,” idjit.

  33. Steerpike said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:13

    “Rights” are by definition what must be demanded and fought for. What is given freely to you just for being nice are “privileges”, and can be just as easily withdrawn.

  34. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:14

    Well, in fairness, rights can be withdrawn too. Just look at the PATRIOT Act.

  35. tsam said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:16

    They give a fuck about their jobs. They can rail on ad nauseum about staying clean and pure to their deficit hawk no tax increase bullshite job creator nonsense, but in teh end they will have to choose between a jobs bill and hedge fund manager pass through.

    It’s a fucking jobs bill. Paid for by eliminating politically unpopular tax cuts. The only way this could go wrong (and I give that liklihood a 95% chance of happening) is if teh Dems cave on it before it gets a vote.

    Right, except that the vehicle for election is campaign contributions. Jobless people don’t generally make significant contributions to candidates. Keep the hedge fund manager happy, and you’ll have unlimited resources to prove through the magic of TV that your opponent is fucking crazy with all that wealth re-distribution and socialism and he might just rape your wife….

    You know? I see what you’re saying, but the bread is buttered by the hedge fund guys.

  36. tsam said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:20

    I’m genuinely baffled by what I just read. She tells people to help others White Americans people for altruistic reasons.

    You know, like those Wall Street guys who are only getting 6 digit bonuses.

  37. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:20

    Ha, Substance’s mangos.

    As an older person, I remember the good old days (which get better and better the older I get).

    You don’t say.

    I mean, an old washed up conservative awash in a fictionalized nostalgia for a past that never was, but certainly would have included all the respect you should have earned for being old and nothing else despite the fact that you are a useless waste of flesh only good for ranting about how the kids these days don’t show their elders any respect?

    My word, never heard this story before.

    What’s for the encore? Claiming that minorities demanding their rights are just “uppity”.

    If you did, you’d get either a slap across the face or a stern lecture about not acting so uppity.

    Oh my God.

  38. Anonymous said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:24

    Why can’t I open the door with my hand? Why must I use a cane? Is this a magic trick?

    i cannot quit laffing at this…

  39. Chris said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:25

    So, what the fuck happened to…

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

    Oh, that’s right. They worship the Founding Fathers, they don’t listen to them. Kinda like Jesus.

  40. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:28

    You didn’t demand your rights with your parents or your teachers or anyone else. If you did, you’d get either a slap across the face or a stern lecture about not acting so uppity.

    Back then, you weren’t entitled to anything unless you earned it.

    Y’know, the more I think about this, the more disturbing it becomes.

    First off, in a family, no one has “rights” beyond the rights the parents give you. But that’s not the same thing as asking for help because a mob is lynching Uncle Joe down at the creek. Or insisting that I can vote because I’m a citizen.

    And the student wasn’t “demanding” rights for immigrants: she was asking for a signature on a petition that asked for lawmakers to reconsider the plight of immigrants.

    WTF is her butthurt all about????

  41. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:28

    Of course, most people from the left reading this won’t have the foggiest notion of what I’m talking about.

    fixxed….

  42. vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:31

    bbkf made LOL. Have truer words ever been fixxed?

  43. vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:32

    me. I blame iHitler.

  44. Stag Party Palin said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:33

    These days, it’s all about people standing up for their rights. And that means everyone: Latinos, blacks, women, gays, bis and bi-curious, illegals and legals, everyone, that is, with the exception of the privileged, straight, white male.

    Robin drew back the faded muslim drapes and the gentle Berkeley sun threw dappled shadows over her state-licensed therapeutic nakedness. Jefferson had removed the last of his brand-name underwear. They clutched each other as if they were the last cantaloupes on sale.

    “Oh Jefferson – you’re such a refreshing change from the tawdry demanding world I am licensed to cure. And omigosh, did you forget to put away your umbrella?”

    “No, Robin, that’s something of mine that’s privileged, straight, and white, and it’s standing up for you.”

    “Oh Jefferson, I demand my rights!”

    [fade to black]

  45. vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:35

    HOT

  46. vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:35

    HOTT.

  47. tsam said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:36

    Y’know, the more I think about this, the more disturbing it becomes.

    This shit makes me violent.

    I keep hearing these assholes talk about giving homosexuals the right the marry.

    Freedom is NOT YOURS OR MINE TO GIVE. YOU don’t GRANT freedoms, they were endowed by our creator and inalienable.

    We need to start beating people up when they suggest that they are in some position to grant rights to others.

  48. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:37

    Mango Feast!

    But I was tempted to instead retort, “You know what I would really like? I would like a full year’s moratorium on everyone asking for their rights.

    I bet you would. I mean, really, a conservative wanting the downtrodden to shut up so they could pretend they don’t exist? You don’t say.

    And during that time, I’d want everyone to work on themselves, and to do something for other people.

    Next. Fucking. Line. I mean, there was not even a space to breathe before that crashed down.

    Also, what the fuck did you think the college student was doing? I mean, do you think that “immigrant rights” is just a demonic spell to cause brown people to swarm and steal your jobs or do immigrants just not count as people, either way you end up looking like…like…sigh…a conservative.

    A whole solid year of no one demanding and everyone helping! If you have a petition for that, I’ll gladly sign.”

    That. Was. What. She. Was. Trying. To…

    You know what? Never mind. Also, that was the next line. It’s like the point was a bullet to the face and she deflected it with the power of stupid.

    Of course, she would have looked at me as though I were from Mars. These days, it’s all about people standing up for their rights.

    Oh my Amorphous Concept of Man’s Hope for Immortality, do you even listen to yourself? Do you think “rights” are a form of candy? No, don’t answer that.

    And that means everyone: Latinos, blacks, women, gays, bis and bi-curious, illegals and legals, everyone, that is, with the exception of the privileged, straight, white male.

    Yes, and anyone with two sticks to rub together as brain cells would have already figured out why and it begins with “privileged”. Yeah, turns out that rich people don’t need charity either (doesn’t stop them expecting or demanding it by the truckload but that’s neither here nor there). It’s because they don’t fucking need it.

    And not even going to get into the whole “rights for thee equals rights for me” thing. The dominant group tends to do better when the oppressed aren’t being oppressed. Gains in women’s rights have loosened restrictions on male behavior, given men better sex and more fulfilling relationships, and allowed more life options as well as an ability to pay the bills in the economy our overlords have created for us. Racial rights protect the tan as well as that whole “not creating an abused permanent underclass” would have prevented the exact type of economy we have now, so whoops on that. And I’m not even going to get into all the times white people have voted to screw themselves because they thought that they were screwing black people.

    Overall, her arguments make me wonder exactly what conservatives think rights or altruism are. Because apparently they seem confused that liberals aren’t actually trying to deploy some guilt-based weapon to steal conservative bodily fluids.

  49. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:41

    Mister, is that a spermatozoan on your uniform?

    (look at pshop above, carefully)
    .

  50. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:44

    Why can’t I open the door with my hand? Why must I use a cane? Is this a magic trick?

    If Greg House can do it, you can too!
    .

  51. Steerpike said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:44

    Well, in fairness, rights can be withdrawn too. Just look at the PATRIOT Act.

    Too true, too true. The problem is, we (and by “we” I mean enough Americans to look like a majority–hell it might have been one. Might still be) chose not to demand and fight for these rights. We treated them as privileges, luxuries we could not afford in teh face of evil terrorists.

  52. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:47

    Mangos!

    But if you acted in a respectable fashion, that is, accountable for your actions and kind to others, then respect would inevitably follow.

    Unless you were brown, black, female, gay, an immigrant, etc…

    Which would be the, you know, point.

    Of course, my generation, the Baby Boomers, are responsible for producing all of these entitled folks, because the young ‘uns were taught that the world owes them something for nothing.

    Which would be, you know, why they are fighting for their rights rather than lounging on their government paid scooters screaming about “how they want their America back”.

    And meanwhile, many old folks haven’t moved on developmentally, still remaining frozen in time, circa 1964, making their own demands.

    You don’t say. Old people demanding things and not moving on from their battle against the evil hippies from the 60s. Wait, you didn’t say “the 60s” or cite 1969, which means…oh I see what you did there.

    Ha, obvious dog whistle is obvious.

    Also, yes, you old fucks are stuck in 1964, still smarting over the last time the South threw a collective hissy fit and lost over the humanity of the melaninated. It’s almost like you Confederate fuckers are a broken fucking record of fail. Also, related, but Berkeley my ass. I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s possible for their to be a Crackerville transplant to Berkeley struggling to handle the fact that they don’t shoot their black people on sight, but frankly they aren’t this fucking absent from knowing about the other side. This is someone who grew up in Crackerville, stayed in Crackerville, and who will die in fucking Crackerville who thinks that Berkeley makes a good liberal boogeyman to make herself feel like a fighter for posting 50 year old rants from her Crackerville double wide. No offense meant to anyone currently trapped in Crackerville. Ironically, it probably has good mexican.

    Following that is two paragraphs of padding building up her big revelation. My guess is that she was still smarting over the last dose of cognitive dissonance and wanted to put some space before the next hit.

  53. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:04

    Mangoapalooza!

    It involves giving, and I don’t mean a donation to one of those bright-eyed college kids on the streets of Berkeley or for Obama 2012. I’m talking about interpersonal giving; I’m referring to being kind. And doing so for no personal gain, simply because as human beings we are supposed to.

    Cause the college student isn’t giving to others? I mean, that was your big objection, that the college student was trying to help people you rather lived quiet lives of desperation where you didn’t have to think about them and that kid actually made you think and acknowledge someone else’s humanity when you had already hardened your heart about how those filthy untermenschen deserved everything. But go on.

    Notice an old woman struggling to get across the street, and do not mug her — help her!

    Because this happens? With any regularity? See, this is why she could never have lived in Berkeley a single day of her life. Cause, this is the sort of thing movies think happen in the cities. That the “lawless” hordes of brown people are just mugging old ladies with nary a superhero around to help them and the “jaded street toughs” just laugh at the pain of the poor naive suburban gal or old lady foolish enough to walk on their patch. But, a single downtown errand to buy more locks to try and hold out the scary black people who sometimes look at her house strange, would have revealed enough black people, young college kids, and etc… obviously not committing crimes and usually helping each other out to cause her brain to explode with the dissonance.

    Open the door for someone using a cane. Remember that someday, God willing, you will be that old person and you will need someone to open the door for you.

    Uh huh.

    So, your “altruistic” plea is basically a demand that people stop helping people you don’t like and instead devote all of their time to helping…basically, you. Yes, it truly is they who have forgotten the spirit of altruism. And how…entitled…of you to demand unearned respect and favors. I mean, at least Team “Demand your rights” actually are you know, fighting for them, rather than just demanding that everyone drop what they are doing and center their lives around them.

    Call your grandma to cheer her up, and send flowers to your mom for no reason other than she gave you life.

    Ha! Bit of a…personal…problem I’d bet. I’d imagine those ungrateful brats have stopped calling grandma. It’s funny, because she’s so hideous her children have abandoned her in frustration.

    Smile at someone who looks a bit glum; leave a dime on the ground for someone else to pick up.

    Again, imagine this means “me”. Which leads me to ponder about exactly which philosophy is clamoring for the end of Social Security and Medicare and which one created them in the first place so that the old didn’t literally have to scavenge for coins just to survive another day.

    And, love the idiotic presumption.

    Hands up every other person who when they were a poor college kid or are currently poor post-college punk who has repeatedly emptied their wallet giving it to some homeless person or person in aid while some middle class fucker with a job you’ll never have (say a psychologist) rants about how “you shouldn’t, it’s all a scam, they’re just going to buy drugs”, before ranting about “how someone should take care of this problem (ideally violently)” or telling the person to “get a job”.

    Yeah, most of us. It’s a liberal thing.

    She ends it with a giant paean for love.

    Ha! It’s funny because she’s a hateful soulless shell of a person who’s upset about people helping other people she hates too much to see as people.

    I mean, fuck. The whole thing is basically her just ranting “people shouldn’t help people, people should think of others instead and help me, because I’m the only person who matters, and why don’t my kids call just because I disowned the one for being a dyke and the other for marrying that nigger.”

    Talk about further proof for my Greater Projection Theory for all wingnut arguments.

  54. tigris said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:06

    You know what would be altruistic? Helping oppressed people obtain their rights. Refusing and going home to bitch about it, not so much.

  55. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:13

    Oh FYWP. Eat my comment and say it’s posted, will you?!?

    Also, I’d like to take a minute to sit back and marvel at exactly how the Greater Wingnuttia has evolved in the post-Obama era.

    I mean back in the Sotomayer debate we had conservatives everywhere ranting against empathy as if it was the greatest evil known to man. And not ranting against the concept with dog whistles, but actually going full press on the word, arguing that the word empathy was akin to Hitler.

    We’ve had the Dominionists openly calling democracy a failure and demanding that huge swaths of groups have their rights to vote revoked. A presidential candidate openly argue that we should return to a Senate appointed by the old corrupt Statehouse Machines. And of course direct attacks on the middle class and old people, one of the few groups stupid enough to vote for conservative policies en masse.

    And now, we’ve also had the full court press on the notion of “rights”, arguing that they are a sinister and corrupt institution that must be viewed with suspicion. Not just couching it in “special rights” as if there were other rights that were better, but just openly arguing that “rights” are bad, full stop.

    The shock of a black president and their impending demographic suicide is hitting them so hard that they have found themselves unable to retain even a fraction of their pretense and have been leaking their real views like crazy without the self-censorship to stop them declaring a war (and a really popular war with their crowd) on basic human values that we like to pretend are the things that make people good.

    Not, “we’re attacking the village to save it” wars, but actual wars on the actual terms.

    I swear we’ll see them declaring war on goodness and the laughter of children next.

    It’s funny because for years, we’ve chided bad fiction for making their villains cartoonish and over-the-top and now our real life villains are actually trying to top the most cartoonishly evil villain or fictions have ever created.

  56. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:15

    vacuumslayer has a salient, sabotaging iPad said,

    Salient? I mean, I like the iPad, but I just don’t know how pertinent it is…

  57. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:15

    It involves giving, and I don’t mean a donation to one of those bright-eyed college kids on the streets of Berkeley or for Obama 2012. I’m talking about interpersonal giving; I’m referring to being kind. And doing so for no personal gain, simply because as human beings we are supposed to.

    Nothing more human-like than asking people to stop being human by denying other humans their FSM-given rights!

  58. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:16

    Errgh, FYWP eating all of my posts.

  59. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:16

    I swear we’ll see them declaring war on … the laughter of children next.

    Sign me up. I’m trying to work here — shut up you damn ruffians and getoffamylawn!

  60. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:18

    They worship the Founding Fathers, they don’t listen to them. Kinda like Jesus.

    Considering Jesus died like 1700 years before, I would find it surprising if he HAD listened to the Founding Fathers.

    Wait! Did one of the Riddled guys lose their time machine sometime in Jerusalem?

  61. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:19

    heh. My most recent post has ACTUALLY turned into a debate about getting those goddam kids offa my lawn.

  62. vacuumslayer is not a moron, promise...just confused two wordsplusit'sHitler'sfault said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:24

    D’oh

  63. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:27

    Okay, time to go kick myself in the fuhgina, again.
    .

  64. vacuumslayer is not a moron, promise...just confused two wordsplusit'sHitler'sfault said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:27

    When I’m relaxing with a nice snifter of baby tears and kitten blood, I do not want to hear the cacophony of children’s laughter!

  65. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:28

    I’m genuinely baffled by what I just read. She tells people to help others for altruistic reasons.

    ISNT THAT WHAT THE SHINY STUDENT WAS DOING?

    Yes the student was helping people but the WRONG people. The elderly, white demographic in America is really hurting! But, that could be attributed to osteoporosis.

  66. vacuumslayer is not a moron, promise...just confused two wordsplusit'sHitler'sfault said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:29

    Yet I bet she supports pols who are anti-SS.

  67. Hogeye Grex said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:31

    Meanwhile, since her Medicare has been cut, she’s off her Prozac, so she imagines you’re there to mug her and whaps the crap out of you with her pocketbook.

    Then she sticks you with a hatpin, which, being uninsured, you shrug off until the peritonitis sets in and you die in screaming pain as your innards fester and rot inside you.

    Why, yes. Fine, thank you. Why do you ask?

  68. Steerpike said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:35

    Then she sticks you with a hatpin

    She’s also good fun with a handgun

  69. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:39

    She’s also good fun with a handgun

    She follows mikey’s advice.

    POP-POP! POP!

  70. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:40

    Yes the student was helping people but the WRONG people. The elderly, white demographic in America is really hurting! But, that could be attributed to osteoporosis.

    And the old and white in this country are under attack by which group again, because I’m pretty damn certain outside our mumbled hopes that the old white fuckers trying to prevent the critical progress our country has been long been overdue for, just fucking die already so we can move on, that it hasn’t been the young long-hairs.

    In fact, it seems to be the same group of “fuck, every group and their ‘rights’” fuckwads who’ve set their eyes on grandma’s purse strings and have tried to drain every potential drop out of the few safety nets we have in this fucking country.

    Ironically, when she elects her overlords and they fuck her in the ass, stealing her medicare and social security, then the same petition-waving youth will be passing around a petition for “elderly rights” to try and get them back for her.

    Somehow I don’t think she’ll mind as much then.

  71. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:45

    In fact, it seems to be the same group of “fuck, every group and their ‘rights’” fuckwads who’ve set their eyes on grandma’s purse strings and have tried to drain every potential drop out of the few safety nets we have in this fucking country.

    Could this be why the “Social Security = a Ponzi Scheme” meme is now picking up steam with conservatives?

  72. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:52

    Could this be why the “Social Security = a Ponzi Scheme” meme is now picking up steam with conservatives?

    I think that has more to do with who they want managing those funds in The Great Casino.
    .

  73. Alex said,

    September 13, 2011 at 1:05

    Here’s the rotten Mango I picked up: A request by some selfish bastard volunteering to organize for an immigrants rights group for a moment of her time threw Ms. Batshit Crazy Blogress Diva into a fit which she could only control by humming shitty Elevator Muzak to herself and fantasizing about suspending everyone’s first amendment rights and forcing these selfish looters to do something for people other than the downtrodden.

    That way crazy lady and other white males won’t be bothered on the streets of downtown Berkeley.

  74. N__B said,

    September 13, 2011 at 1:56

    That way crazy lady and other white males won’t be bothered on the streets of downtown Berkeley.

    Other? Something we should know about RoB?

  75. AWS said,

    September 13, 2011 at 1:58

    Call your grandma to cheer her up, and send flowers to your mom for no reason other than she gave you life. Smile at someone who looks a bit glum; leave a dime on the ground for someone else to pick up.

    At first I doubted Bx4 on that quote. Surely nobody would suggest that someone leave a fucking dime on the ground in that manner. And yet, I left the boat. Shudder.

    The other day, I actually found a dime on the pavement near where I work (really!). Maybe it was the Robin Fairy who left it for me.

    Thanks, Robin Fairy, I can sleep better knowing that I’ll make my rent this month.

  76. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 13, 2011 at 2:50

    If any of you wusses did end up getting out of the boat, you saw that the Shorter is a barely edited version of what’s actually there. I swear, that shit must write itself.

  77. vacuumslayer is error-prone on her iPhone said,

    September 13, 2011 at 2:57

    She straight-up said people shouldn’t demand rights…which makes me wonder? How SHOULD you get rights? Wait for the Rights Fairy to leave some equality under your pillow?

  78. vacuumslayer is error-prone on her iPhone said,

    September 13, 2011 at 2:59

    Extra question mark?

    ?

  79. N__B said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:02

    How SHOULD you get rights? Wait for the Rights Fairy to leave some equality under your pillow?

    Buy them covered with Swarovski crystals, the way the Repubs do.

  80. pearloftheprairie said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:04

    Does Robin come from the Beaver Cleaver 50′s or the dirty hippie- hating 60′s? When did the Baby Boomer generation become the one that insisted our children be entitled brats – I thought that was the spoiled group after us. And when is the last time you read a story about a grandma being mugged by a dirty hippie? She can’t even get her conservative panties in a bunch correctly.

  81. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:19

    … our mumbled hopes that the old white fuckers trying to prevent the critical progress our country has been long been overdue for, just fucking die already so we can move on…

    Speaking as a certified old white fucker, I can assure you that the problem you refer to is not with old white fuckers per se, but is instead specifically with stump-humping stupid, Tennessee-dirt dumb old white fuckers. It’s an important distinction.

  82. Pupienus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:25

    AIAIAIIGHHRGHIARARGHAIAHAGH

    The Ho WONT TURN OFF THE “DEBATE.” Antique Griswold cast iron pan, plasma TV…. I WILL NOT BE BLAIMED!

  83. owlbear1 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:26

    Definitely get the feeling Robin is the kind of person to puts up a “Solicitations Welcome” sign just to make sure she has a steady supply of people to insult.

  84. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:51

    Back then, you weren’t entitled to anything unless you earned it. And we’re not just talking money and possessions here, but something more important: respect. No one would have or should have respected you simply because you were born upon this earth.

    Ah yes, those good old days when infants were treated with contempt.

  85. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:53

    Sometimes you just wanna shake some sense into those babies.

  86. owlbear1 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 3:55

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpzggAVxLME

  87. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:02

    After a year is up, you’ll notice something remarkable: you are a changed person. You won’t have as many needs and demands, because you won’t feel as empty inside. You’ll be filled up with something more precious and enduring, something that cannot be given to you by any law or any leader.

    Shit?

  88. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:14

    Snorghagen-

    Well, I did say it’s what we mumble sometimes. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that not all old white people suck and sadly, there are a number of younger white people and a few brown people who can’t wait to get in line to suck*.

    *VGHR

  89. tsam said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:18

    If Robin’s not careful, someone might shove his special rights down her throat.

  90. Johnny Pez said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:24

    The reason Robin is such a wet blanket is that she doesn’t believe in fighting for her right to party.

  91. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:44

    Open the door for someone using a cane.
    Why can’t I open the door with my hand? Why must I use a cane? Is this a magic trick?

    I don’t have a cane.
    Can I use this instead?

  92. N__B said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:46

    Candy corn does not substitute for candy canes.

  93. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:49

    The reason Robin is such a wet blanket is that she doesn’t believe in fighting for her right to party.

    and she will never earn that right, either…

  94. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:50

    Candy corn does not substitute for candy canes.

    I was referring, Mr N__B (if that is your real name), to my seeing-eye dog.*

    * Not actually seeing-eye. Actually substitutes for my missing sense of humour.

  95. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:55

    After a year is up, you’ll notice something remarkable: you are a changed person. You won’t have as many needs and demands, because you won’t feel as empty inside. You’ll be filled up with something more precious and enduring, something that cannot be given to you by any law or any leader.

    also, too…how the fuck does she know this? has she ever done anything for someone in need?

    teh daughter and i spent a good part of the day working at a fundraiser for our local cancer support group…we ran our asses off helping others…you know i feel? fucking exhausted…goddamn cancer people expecting everyone to give them stuff*

    *note to dennis: this is a joke…but probably a pretty close approximation of how robin would feel…

  96. address my envelope, lips! said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:02

    I’m assuming, in a non-transphobic way, that Robin is a white man? Because otherwise those shiny, shiny rights she thinks shouldn’t be given to other people aren’t hers to deny other people.

    Back in the kitchens with the rest of us, madam!

  97. tsam said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:02

    also, too…how the fuck does she know this? has she ever done anything for someone in need?

    She once showed a n###er some tough love.

  98. tsam said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:03

    Dropped a dime on his ass.

  99. Steerpike said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:03

    See, that’s why blind people don’t skydive: scares the shit out of the dogs.

  100. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:07

    also, too…how the fuck does she know this? has she ever done anything for someone in need?

    and such, i believe i answered my own question. the key word is need…if somebody is needy fuck them…needy means lazy in robin’s book…all her examples of giving are all about people with dumbass non-problems like feeling glum, or needing a fucking dime…who the fuck needs a dime anymore?!?!?

  101. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:09

    Dropped a dime on his ass.

    and then probably popped a cap in it…

  102. Steerpike said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:10

    who the fuck needs a dime anymore?

    He only needs to find four more, and he can call someone who gives a shit

  103. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:12

    leave a dime on the ground for someone else to pick up.

    Better yet, leave a dime on the bottom of a vat of ravenous piranhas and give the person who picks it up a chance to earn it,

    I’m assuming, in a non-transphobic way, that Robin is a white man?

    She claims to be a female therapist who was once a leftie but converted to conservatism. Her articles are so garbled that there have been times I’ve suspected that she’s writing satire, but she’s probably genuinely confused.

  104. tsam said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:17

    Ah yes, the ever elusive reformed liberal. I would believe in such a thing if such a thing existed.

  105. owlbear1 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:23

    Transmogrifying the ideology

  106. Spaghetti Lee said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:25

    What the world needs now

    …is love, sweet love HATE! GLORIOUS, NOURISHING HATE!

  107. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:25

    oh, hey! in the last thread, i referenced el nina’s reinforcing my hatred of winter…i of course meant to say la nina…sorry for any confusion this may have caused…

    genders…how do they fucking work?

  108. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:26

    also, too…that’s funny since that was the topic of the last thread…

  109. Spaghetti Lee said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:28

    I’m assuming, in a non-transphobic way, that Robin is a white man?

    Maybe, maybe not. There’s no reason for anyone who isn’t a straight white Christian man with a net worth over $5 million to vote Republican, but other kinds of people do, because they’ve convinced themselves they can assure their eventually masters that they’re one of the good negroes/womenfolk/furriners, and they don’t deserve the punishment that all those dirty regular ones are gonna get. As we say around here, Robin, Gay Patriot, Lloyd Marcus, et al…Sadly, No!

  110. Smut Clyde said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:32

    genders…how do they fucking work?

    They don’t, because they are lazy, and they’re used to European languages like French and German supporting them anyway.

  111. address my envelope, lips! said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:38

    Sorry, I was being um… satiric. Yes, that’s it, satiric. I’ve just always been amazed at the irony of anyone other than bigoted white males being hard-line right wing conservatives.

    But then, if they’re not really interested in the truth, then why should the truth that they are completely expendable in the eyes of their overlords matter to them?

    As for the dime, funny story – for almost four years, I collected up every penny, dime, and occasional quarter off the street, just to see how much one could collect in this conservative pundit-approved manner. I netted roughly $38 after 4 years, and that was only because I lucked into a $10 bill. I gave the proceeds to my local homeless guy, along with some extra of my own, and he told me he’d use it to get a motel room next time it was really cold (nice guy – vietnam vet, lost his job, and everything spiraled out after that – you know, the kind of person conservatwats like to piss on).

    So, those shiny dimes that Robin is dropping will allow some homeless person to buy a night in a really cheap hotel, assuming that some actual decent generous person kicks in the other $39.90.

  112. Johnny Pez said,

    September 13, 2011 at 5:49

    who the fuck needs a dime anymore?!?!?

    Once I built a raildroad, now it’s done.

  113. KWillow said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:07

    tsam: Freedom is NOT YOURS OR MINE TO GIVE. YOU don’t GRANT freedoms, they were endowed by our creator and inalienable.

    But! … and its a BIG BUT: if you use that phrase in the Constitution as justification for Rights, you are acknowledging that the Christian GOD EXISTS! And since the Christian God EXISTS, Gay marriage and rights for “minorities” and women is obviously WRONG!!111!! ;-)

  114. Snorghagen said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:18

    who the fuck needs a dime anymore?!?!?

    All you need is another nickel and you’re ready to feast!

  115. tsam said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:27

    if you use that phrase in the Constitution as justification for Rights, you are acknowledging that the Christian GOD EXISTS! And since the Christian God EXISTS, Gay marriage and rights for “minorities” and women is obviously WRONG!!111!! ;-)

    NOPE.

    Declaration, and it says creator for a reason. I’ll be punching bitchez out for trying that shit on me.

  116. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:28

    All you need is another nickel and you’re ready to feast!

    Gotta say, as this is germane… if you EVAR get to Nashville, look up Coco’s Italian Market at 51st and Alabama. If you’re not in NY/NJ, you likely don’t have access to this kind of eatin’. OMFG. Meatballs? 2 for $1.25 — I bought a tray of 16 to take to a cookout yesterday, and they were DEVOURED.

    Two families from Albany moved down here to run this place, and let me tell ya, they give a damn.
    .

  117. mmy said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:29

    Shorter GOP primary voters:

    DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

  118. 1. jim said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:49

    FOXNEWSLAW: Reformed liberal does not necessarily have to = former liberal because MAJYCK OF TEH MARKETPLACE BOOKMAKR IT LIBS.

    Yes, it’s both palpable & official … I stole a numeral from preview – & the excitement of at long last becoming enumerated is surpassed only by my actual IRL hoovering of some cheapish & yummy local suds (massive lulz-bias detected because my indulgence in hooch is oldschool Epicurean – I do not need to remove my socks to enumerate how many times I obtain fire-water-type refreshments per annum)!

    This is my T.G.I.M. kind of thang, because my workweek ends @ 0700 on Moondays.

    Slightly later, a belch occured.

    ******** ON-TOPIC SPOILER ALERT AROO AROO ********

    Brave Robin’s irk is showing:

    She asked perkily, “Do you want to help immigrant rights?” To which I replied my usual, “No thank you,” and walked away. But I was tempted to instead retort, “You know what I would really like? I would like a full year’s moratorium on everyone asking for their rights. And during that time, I’d want everyone to work on themselves, and to do something for other people. A whole solid year of no one demanding and everyone helping! If you have a petition for that, I’ll gladly sign.”

    *detects griefer-wannabe asshat buttering self up for dear life*

    Try nice yet cigar AWOL. Other than awarding one lowly token troll-point for co-opting “What The World Needs Now” on behalf of xenophobic protofascistic thugs, I sense a vast TOTAL BLANK in Teh Force here. It probably isn’t helping much that I find the validity of such bitch-titty butthurt both dubious & myopic. With all duly earned appy polly logies to the above-cited R Of B, short of sovent abuse or cranial trauma I can in no way shape or form ever twist reality enough to ever enable myself to fucking “feel your pain” in this case. No darkies, wetbacks, Irish or women need apply ploxkthx. Gray glurp. Same saggy old story from here to infamy. Vanna, won’t you show this skeezy twit what they’ve won as a consolation prize for appearing here tonight?

  119. 1. jim said,

    September 13, 2011 at 6:51

    This lexicon is abstruse … “sovent” … “wheras” … almost as if it were trying to communicate … ?

  120. sir mixalot said,

    September 13, 2011 at 14:44

    But! … and its a BIG BUT:

    i like big butts!

  121. George Washington said,

    September 13, 2011 at 14:53

    I cannot lie!

  122. sir mixalot said,

    September 13, 2011 at 14:55

    i tip my cartoonish hat to you, sir….

  123. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 14:57

    FOXNEWSLAW:

    i wonder if pup has a recipe for this? it sounds yummy…

  124. vacuumslayer said,

    September 13, 2011 at 15:11

    Shredded Fox News bimbo? No thanks.

  125. g said,

    September 13, 2011 at 15:34

    Stupid Robin doesn’t even get the song author right – Jackie DeShannon sang it but Hal David & Burt Bacharach wrote it!

  126. bbkf said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:04

    jStupid Robin doesn’t even get the song author right – Jackie DeShannon sang it but Hal David & Burt Bacharach wrote it!

    hey, now! it IS the most beautiful song IN. THE. WORLD!

  127. El Manquécito said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:09

    Oh barkeep, set up 1.Jim with another round on me.

  128. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:26

    Shredded Fox News bimbo? No thanks.

    A new brand of cat litter? Kewl!

  129. Steerpike said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:28

    Shredded Fox News bimbo
    May cause explosive diarrhea

  130. kingubu said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:42

    Hal David & Burt Bacharach wrote it!

    Nietzsche has an “s” in it.

  131. Spearhafoc, who is changing his nym said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:42

    Hey, leave the Fox News anchor-blondes alone.

    It’s not their fault they’re grown in a lab and indoctrinated with right wing talking points for the first month after their “birth” until they’re sent to serve the remaining two years of their lives acting like mean-girl ditzes on air.

    I’m starting a campaign to free them from captivity, so they can spend what little time they have left on a nice farm or something.

  132. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:45

    vacuumslayer is not a moron, promise…just confused two wordsplusit’sHitler’sfault

    iThought teh salient thing to do was blame AutoCorrect.

  133. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:46

    Hey, leave the Fox News anchor-blondes alone.

    And teh redhead too. I called dibs.

  134. tigris said,

    September 13, 2011 at 16:53

    It’s not their fault they’re grown in a lab

    Epsilon Minus.

  135. RWW said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:01

    Oh Robin, lest you forget: straight white guys, and their enabling useful idiots like you, are demanding their rights….to have and hold any kind of firearm or explosive, to pollute however much they want and to not pay a sidewalk dime in taxes. Let’s also too not forget about corporations demanding, and winning, at the SCOTUS level, all the rights human beings have along with the limitless ability to buy elections. That’s called American Exceptionalism, baby, and that ain’t in Jackie DeShannon’s song.

  136. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:11

    I’m starting a campaign to free them from captivity, so they can spend what little time they have left on a nice farm or something.

    Thank you for that Minority Report.

  137. kg said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:20

    You old fucking shrivs…

  138. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:24

    Shorter Robin of Berkeley:

    What the world needs now is love, sweet love
    It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
    What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
    No not just for some but for everyone a very small handful of very rich white dudes and teh completely unaware shitbags that love gobbling their knobs.

  139. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:24

    vacuumslayer is not a moron, promise…just confused two wordsplusit’sHitler’sfault

    iThought teh salient thing to do was blame AutoCorrect.

    Now I can’t get ANY work done because I am wondering whether she meant ‘sapient’ or ‘sentient’

    (that’s Smut Clyde bait).

    Also, I’d just go ahead and blame AutoCad.

  140. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:26

    Ooo, I think Sidewalk Dime is a new meme, to go with Shit Moat.

    Also, Sidewalk Dime is an EXCELLENT band name.

  141. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:34

    Now I can’t get ANY work done because I am wondering whether she meant ‘sapient’ or ‘sentient’

    Or saline.

  142. Thread Bear said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:35

    If you,ve got the sidewalk time, I’ve got the sidewalk dime.

  143. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:39

    what do you do if your Sidewalk Dime falls in the Shit Moat?

    WHAT DO YOU DO?

  144. vacuumslayer is error-prone on her iPhone said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:41

    I meant “sentient,” but I pretty much take it for granted that everything I type will have some sort of egregious error in it. My brain is mush. Plus I am LITERALLY holding a baby as I type this.

  145. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:41

    The sidewalk dime picks up the sidewalk slime and takes the sidewalk line back to Sidewalk Time.

  146. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:42

    what do you do if your Sidewalk Dime falls in the Shit Moat?

    Call out for the Neocon Avengerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

  147. Alex said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:42

    She straight-up said people shouldn’t demand rights…which makes me wonder? How SHOULD you get rights? Wait for the Rights Fairy to leave some equality under your pillow?

    Crazy Lady doesn’t believe fairies should have any rights, so it stands to reason she doesn’t think they should have them to pass out.

    Why would an angry conservative fucktard chose to live in Berkeley if not addicted to ragefits?

  148. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:44

    Why would an angry conservative fucktard chose to live in Berkeley if not addicted to ragefits?

    It takes a village to raise an idiot.

  149. Thread Bear said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:45

    The great thing about the Sidewalk Dime is that at the next Teatard gathering we will hear somone pioint out that Those People do not need Social Security, Medicare or Welfare because, hey, I left them a dime on the sidwalk last week.

  150. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:48

    The great thing about the Sidewalk Dime is that at the next Teatard gathering we will hear somone pioint out that Those People do not need Social Security, Medicare or Welfare because, hey, I left them a dime on the sidwalk last week.

    They’ll start deducting lost pennies as charitable contributions.

  151. tigris said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:48

    Also, I’d just go ahead and blame AutoCad.

    Is an autocad someone who just can’t help being a roue? Or is it the means by which the rake progresses?

  152. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:49

    maybe you should let Dudeskull type, VS.

    Presuming he’s saline.

  153. Dudeskull said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:54

    Rhudiehjdj pweoie poop

  154. Dudeskull said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:55

    Tigris made the mommy person chuckle.

  155. N__B said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:58

    Plus I am LITERALLY holding a baby as I type this.

    One hand to hold the iPRECIOUS, one hand to type…you’re clenching Dudeskull between your beef?

  156. N__B said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:59

    Or, you know, teef, if one ignores me trusting FUCKING AUTOCORRECT.

  157. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 17:59

    Is an autocad someone who just can’t help being a roue?

    I’ve never been so insulted in my life!

  158. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:00

    you’re clenching Dudeskull between your beef?

    Is VS D-KW’s mom?????

  159. vacuumslayer said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:01

    I only hold DS between the beef when I’m making a Cutie Wooty Tooty Sammich.

  160. Thread Bear said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:03

    You’re his mother and he’s just a baby, you should have no beef with Dudeskull!

  161. N__B said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:03

    a Cutie Wooty Tooty Sammich

    To paraphrase Mrs.Parker, I just fwowed up.

  162. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:04

    I only hold DS between the beef when I’m making a Cutie Wooty Tooty Sammich.

    I had that at Dennys.

  163. tsam said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:08

    FUCKING AUTOCORRECT

    AUTOCORRECT is a cold, dead fuck.

  164. El Manquécito said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:08

    Remember when you had to shift axle ranges and double clutch to get into cad gear, now with autocad you can just step on the accelerator and be in cad mode like magic.

  165. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:10

    you’re clenching Dudeskull between your beef?

    that…sounds dirty.

    Maybe just unsanitary.

  166. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:11

    NEW FREAD!

  167. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:11

    now with autocad you can just step on the accelerator and be in cad mode like magic.

    You’ve obviously never tried to USE AutoCad.

  168. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:14

    You’ve obviously never tried to USE AutoCad.

    I thought cads used you?

  169. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 13, 2011 at 18:40

    I thought cads used you?

    nah, that would be clients.

  170. 1. jim said,

    September 13, 2011 at 21:17

    Speaking of heartfelt Stone Age Era emo-balladeery songs …

    ?? ? There’s got to be a morning after … ???

    LOL 3 BEER DRUNK N00O00O00O0B LOL LOL LOL

    BRB -Rhudiehjdjing the pweoie poop.

  171. actor212 said,

    September 13, 2011 at 21:56

    Rhudiehjdjing the pweoie poop.

    It must be true, because I read it on the internet…twice!

  172. RWW said,

    September 14, 2011 at 2:25

    We should all go to Berkeley and stick dimes to the sidewalk using epoxy cement just to drive this batshit crazy old witch over the edge.

  173. Matt said,

    September 15, 2011 at 5:50

    “You didn’t demand your rights with your parents or your teachers or anyone else. If you did, you’d get either a slap across the face or a stern lecture about not acting so uppity.”

    Awwww, it’s SO CUTE when conservatives start waxing nostalgic about repression. “Remember that time back in ’54 when a n***er could get kilt just for walking on the wrong side of the street? I really miss them thar days!”

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