Sep
11

The War On Gheyorrism




Posted at 16:03 by Tintin


ABOVE: State Rep. Sally Kern (R – OK)

Shorter Sally Kern, Americans for Troof Against Fagosexuality:
Interview with Peter “I Was Just Researching Leather Daddies When I Found A Dick In My Mouth” LaBarbera*

  • The gays have killed way more people than all Mooslim tehrists combined, and they will kill even more because they are making your three-year-olds gay.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Cf.

216 Comments »

  1. Séraphin Lampion said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:12

    Not jumping off the boat.

  2. Chris said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:14

    Not to worry SL, I’m on mango retrieval duty.

    Not much to retrieve, this pretty much sums it up,

    but she repeated her claim that homosexuality is “more dangerous” than terrorist attacks while speaking with LaBarbera, lamenting that young people are “bombarded” with the message that “homosexuality is normal and natural.”

    Pop culture treats these – these – these people – like, like they’re people! Or something!

  3. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:20

    Anyone who titles their own book “The Stoning of [Author Name]” and isn’t, say, a woman from Iran who was LITERALLY STONED, needs very urgently to fuck off.

  4. Mat said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:21

    Yesiree, you could just SMELL the moral virtue pouring out of that linked essay. Oh, how I wish I were as moral and virtuous as that fucking pig.

  5. Spearhafoc, who can't think of anything to write here at the moment said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:23

    Anyone who titles their own book “The Stoning of [Author Name]” and isn’t, say, a woman from Iran who was LITERALLY STONED, needs very urgently to fuck off.

    That or Tommy Chong.

  6. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:27

    Kerners are go!
    ~

  7. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:27

    Pretty fucking stunning from a legislator in Oklahoma. Fine, we’ll move all of the gay folks out but you have to take one McVeigh wannabe in exchange.

    Also gotta love her neat little rhetorical half-gainer in which gay people are directly responsible for every single AIDS-related death. Like we slaved away in our special HomoAgendaLab night and day to create HIV.

    But really, I like it when homophobes pull out all of the stops. It makes it even harder for the so-called “reasonable” bigots to claim they don’t hate gays. (And of course, I don’t recommend holding your breath until any other Republican denounces this unhinged piece of shit.)

  8. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:30

    (That’s one McVeigh wannabe per Gay Oklahoman Refugee, although one for the entire lot would be more than enough.)

  9. Mat said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:32

    Well, Rep. Sally Kern knows there ain’t no homo fags in Oklahoma, just men who like to fuck each other in the privacy of public bathroom stalls before they go to church with their wives. That ain’t gay, nosiree Bob. It ain’t like they’re prancing down Main Street in Tulsa, flaunting their fagness in gold lamè speedos and pink feather boas! God forgives a couple of good old boys buttfucking as long as they vote Republican and have been saved by Jesus.

  10. Lurking Canadian said,

    September 11, 2011 at 16:58

    I suppose it’s possible that at some point during the last thirty years, some straight kid decided to experiment with homosexuality, contracted HIV and died. I mean, it’s possible in the same way that at some point during the last thirtyyears it’s possible that there was the birth of a mutant, winged pig.

    The logical, reasoning part of me is forced to point out that the worst rates of HIV infection and AIDS deaths came long before societal and media acceptance of gay people, and so might not actually be correlated as she claims, but I know logic and reasoning have no place in this discussion. Instead, I will stick with flying pigs.

  11. tigris said,

    September 11, 2011 at 17:04

    that young people are “bombarded” with the message that “homosexuality is normal and natural.”

    Suicide bombarders? Seriously, how many buildings have gay folks blown up or crashed planes into? No hurry, Sally, I’ll wait.

  12. N__B said,

    September 11, 2011 at 17:18

    LaBarbera

    Sounds sort of girly.

  13. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 11, 2011 at 17:19

    LET’S GO, TITANS!
    .

  14. Jennifer said,

    September 11, 2011 at 17:47

    We like to ridicule Texas, but really, folks, Oklahoma is a lot more dumbfuck stupid.

    Love this: We were founded as a nation upon the principles of religion and morality, if we take those out from under our society we will lose what has made us a great nation, we will no longer be a virtuous people,

    Translation: the morality of our religion says you have to stick the peepee in the pink hole, not the brown one. Sticking the peepee in the brown hole will destroy the nation.

    You have to wonder if these folks ever really think about how stupid the shit they say is.

  15. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 11, 2011 at 17:51

    Translation: the morality of our religion says you have to stick the peepee in the pink hole, not the brown one. Sticking the peepee in the brown hole will destroy the nation.

    It’s all pink on the inside.
    .

  16. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 17:54

    Guys, schizophrenics with head injuries are no laughing matter.

  17. tigris said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:00

    the morality of our religion says you have to stick the peepee in the pink hole, not the brown one. Sticking the peepee in the brown hole will destroy the nation.

    It’s the third amendment in the Bill of Wrongs.

  18. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:00

    It’s more dangerous, and yes I think that it’s also more dangerous because it will tear down the moral fiber of this nation

    Well crap. I don’t want to lose all that moral fiber we built up in Iraq and Afghanistan. What do we do?

  19. N__B said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:02

    I get my daily dose of moral fiber from eating virgin Metamucil.

  20. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:08

    HA! That’s funny.

    Sooooo Peyton Manning got a cadaver bone fused into his neck. What if that bone came from a seriously unathletic guy? It could destroy his game.

  21. Spearhafoc, who can't think of anything to write here at the moment said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:15

    Moral fiber makes you regular.

  22. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:19

    From the same site, Pat Robertson:

    Robertson: Ladies and gentlemen I don’t want to get weird on this so please take it for what it’s worth. But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power, it has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it, there’s a crack in it and it’s closed up. Is that a sign from the Lord? Is that something that has significance or is it just result of an earthquake? You judge, but I just want to bring that to your attention. It seems to me symbolic. When Jesus was crucified and when he died the curtain in the Temple was rent from top to bottom and there was a tear and it was extremely symbolic, is this symbolic? You judge.

  23. Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:20

    Being around homosexuals doesn’t turn you into a gay, any more than being around Oklahoma dumb-fuck bigots turns you into an Oklahoma dumb-fuck bigot.

  24. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:20

    All I know is that the Titans D will enjoy turf-planting Kerry Collins repeatedly this season.
    .

  25. vacuumslayer is error-prone on her iPhone said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:20

    Actually moral fiber makes you liberal.

  26. owlbear1 said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:21

    Pre-amble to the “Republicans’ Constitution”:

    We the People Rich White Heterosexual Christians of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Purer Union, establish Justice Superiority, insure domestic Tranquility Dominance, provide for the common defence Military Industrial Complex, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselvesRich White Heteroscexual Christians and our Posterity fuck the future, do ordain and establish this that God gave Rich White Heterosexuals the Constitution for the United States of America. being HIS favorites!

  27. N__B said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:22

    Fuck. Cliff Robertson is dead.

    Shame! Come back, Shame!

  28. D. Sidhe said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:24

    Guys, schizophrenics with head injuries are no laughing matter.

    Speaking as one, agreed. But I’m not sure how that’s relevant when we’re just talking about a stupid bigot. Ignorance and hate are not mental illnesses.

  29. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:29

    I would argue that obssessive hate is, in fact a mental illness. The only reason it’s not in the DSM is because it’s fairly common and gets a free pass being called ignorance.

    There are several types of schizophrenia. These people have a very real fear that homosexuals are increasing their numbers like some kind of zombie apocalypse.

    Racism and bigotry have NOTHING whatsoever to do with ignorance. Their either mentally ill or just plain bad, disgusting shitty people.

  30. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:30

    OMG. PLEASE ignore the grammerfail.

  31. AWS said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:32

    We like to ridicule Texas, but really, folks, Oklahoma is a lot more dumbfuck stupid.

    dumbfuck stupid knows no borders, sadly. Else we could just put ‘em in one place and let them beat each other to death and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.

  32. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:34

    Lotsa dumbfuck stupid living right in the middle of New York City too. You can’t get away from them. Tempting, the dark side is.

  33. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:37

    SOMEBODY is a little to fixated on Chaz.

    Just sayin’

  34. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:37

    Actually moral fiber makes you liberal.

    A regular liberal. The best kind ever!

  35. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:38

    FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM TODAY?

    Ok I, shutup know. sinse I cant spell nuthing

  36. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:43

    There’s a Kern on the Cob joke in here somewheres, but I can’t dig it out.

    The logical, reasoning part of me is forced to point out that the worst rates of HIV infection and AIDS deaths came long before societal and media acceptance of gay people ^back when the response from the PotUS and legislators was “Gay men are dropping like flies? Hooray!” (and/or Yawn.)

    Fxd.

    Seriously. I sometimes think of where’d we be in terms of research and treatment if Rock Hudson hadn’t died (‘cos God forbid a President give a shit unless he is directly impacted) or – as some people STILL like to claim – HIV really did only infect gay men. And then I shudder for like, two hours.

    Translation: the morality of our religion says you have to stick the peepee in the pink hole, not the brown one. Sticking the peepee in the brown hole will destroy the nation. ^Unless you have been saved by Jesus.

    Fxd. Also. Too.

    I love how these cretins keep pounding away (hur) at the whole non-penis/vagina sex thing, like every single straight person on the planet is scared stiff (hur hur) by the idea.

  37. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:48

    Racism and bigotry have NOTHING whatsoever to do with ignorance. They’re either mentally ill or just plain bad, disgusting shitty people.

    Fxd, complete with grammatical clean-up.

    I hate to see bigotry lumped in as a mental illness. That would mean the asshole screaming about what kw33rs are doing to our soil* needs our sympathy and help, rather than a punch in the nose.

    Also, having known a few schizophrenics I’ve never encountered one, even with paranoid schizophrenia, who could a) Successfully run for office and b) Had such a boring conspiracy theory. Generally, they’re a fuck of a lot nicer than shitheads like Kern and Porno Pete LaBarbarella.

  38. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:49

    *OK, that was an awesome song, but if he were real, you’d want to hit him.

  39. D. Sidhe said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:51

    tsam:

    But I don’t WANNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAA have anything in common with people like these.

    Don’t mind me, I’m having one of those days where I woke up as a bratty toddler, apparently. Grammarfail cheerfully ignored, point you’re making would be accepted as well made and perceptive except that, again, feeling whiny.

  40. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:53

    Ok, fair enough.

    The first comment was just meant to be funny.

    And you and Arky are right, this isn’t schizophrenia.

    As long as we can agree that we won’t ever call racism/bigotry ignorance, but a deliberate choice to be a worthless, shit person, then we’re all good.

  41. jim said,

    September 11, 2011 at 18:58

    Hot sweaty buttsex – NEVAR REGRET.

    We were founded as a nation upon the principles of religion and morality, if we take those out from under our society we will lose what has made us a great nation, we will no longer be a virtuous people, which we see happening already. And without virtue this nation will not survive.

    You best betrolling, wingnut!

    Jeeze Louise, really brings on the ol’ eye cramps some, that does. It makes the nation sound like a bagged-out old Plymouth up on blocks … a nation whose status, wealth & power would be promptly crippled by “virtue,” were “virtue” to somehow obtain & use the chloroform & handcuffs necessary to overpower its collective id.

    Also too additionally as well, the immorality of cultural chauvinism notwithstanding, isn’t this whole jeremiad of “without this one particular set of externally imposed rules (among scores of similar rule-sets that all function about as well as its users let them), we’re doomed to become just a pack of lurching Troglodytes” shit both insulting & more than a bit on the anti-social side? As a rejoinder, “Buy a seat on the Clue-Bus & lighten the fuck up, Francis” springs to mind.

    It’s the third amendment in the Bill of Wrongs.

    ……. wins this!

  42. D. Sidhe said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:09

    Arky: I dunno. I tend to agree with you, I dunno how much of that is me being repulsed by these people and wanting nothing in common with them. Which is not to say that there are not schizophrenics who are genuinely horrible people, even among those who don’t, you know, kill people.

    But while I also can admit that obsessive bigotry and obsessive hate probably are mental illnesses (though not necessarily schizophrenia) I also have to wonder how useful it is to label them as such, because I can’t imagine A) any useful treatment for it B) that hateful bigots would accept treatment or even accept that they actually have a problem as opposed to just being smarter than the rest of us dupes C) a society where Sally Kern is considered so mentally ill she must be treated for her intolerance.

    I mean, the people who are martyring themselves publicly over the notion that it’s religious persecution when their kids aren’t allowed to bully the queers into suicide is not going to ever accept that obsessive racism is unacceptable, let alone obsessive homophobia. Because as far as I can tell, society is still in the majority of the opinion that at least regarding queers as somehow abnormal is perfectly reasonable.

    And as a schizophrenic who has spent years now walking an extremely fine line on consenting to treatment that does me as much harm as it does good vs making other people deal with the consequences of my not accepting that treatment, I really *don’t* want to live in a society where involuntary treatment is considered reasonable for a range of things that might be extended to include, say, my implacable disgust of and refusal to compromise with republicans.

    So for about a million reasons, it makes me a lot happier to just believe that hateful bigots are fuckwits whose problems are personality issues rather than something I have to feel any empathy for them over.

  43. D. Sidhe said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:12

    tsam: Sadly, I was trying to be funny, too. I think the whole head injury thing (well, the migraine I have that has resulted from it) has recalibrated my view of funny, and not in a good way.

    I am entirely content to agree that they are making a choice to be worthless pieces of shit, and to second the wanting to punch them in the nose reaction.

  44. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:19

    tsam: Sadly, I was trying to be funny, too. I think the whole head injury thing (well, the migraine I have that has resulted from it) has recalibrated my view of funny, and not in a good way.

    I know you were. I do agree that it’s a bit of an insult to people with true mental illness to call people like Kern insane.

    Thinking more about it, I have to say that if we labeled everyone who believed in weird shit that isn’t true, we’d have to lock up all the jews, christians and muslims in the world, along with all the people talking about ghosts and flying saucers on TV….

  45. Spaghetti Lee said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:22

    The whole gay-fear thing is one of those “future historians” moments. Like, hundreds of years from now, the textbooks are going to read “In America’s declining years, it was rife with internal conflict over the idea of homosexuality, because a bunch of backwoods morons were completely fucking mortified by the idea of two men having sex with each other. Seriously! For like 50 years, it was a huge deal! Whatta buncha morans, amirite?”

  46. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:27

    Here’s my take (and sorry to get all serious and shit earlier):

    Kern and the rest of the crew are a bunch of chickenshit bullies. It isn’t enough for them to hate and pick on a supposedly defenseless target. They have to have a fuckton of back up when they do it.

    And by fuckton, I mean the entire population minus the target of their hate.

    And by back up, I mean they’ll stand at the back of the mob.

    However, based on polling any way, fewer and fewer people can be bothered to give a fuck. Hence the increasingly loud and illogical yapping such as is showcased above. They’re trying desperately to find some combination of words that will get everyone back on their side.

    I could well be some people who are for equal marriage are really AGAINST the bigots. I don’t know or care.

    Of course, the screaming about gays aborting the brains of fetuses while spreading disease just turns off more people, so I suspect that before long we’ll be hearing that the presence of one gay person in a city raises the cancer rate by 50%.

  47. tigris said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:42

    Robertson: Ladies and gentlemen I don’t want to get weird on this so please take it for what it’s worth. But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power, it has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it, there’s a crack in it and it’s closed up. Is that a sign from the Lord? Is that something that has significance or is it just result of an earthquake? You judge, but I just want to bring that to your attention. It seems to me symbolic. When Jesus was crucified and when he died the curtain in the Temple was rent from top to bottom and there was a tear and it was extremely symbolic, is this symbolic? You judge.

    Also broked: National Cathedral. Maybe God really does want church/state separation? Or hates Christians? Epicenter of earthquake: Cantor’s district. Maybe He hates asshole obstructionist Republicans, too! You judge.

    Hot sweaty buttsex – NEVAR REGRET.

    HEY, THOSE AREN’T TOWERS!

  48. mingo said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:45


    Sooooo Peyton Manning got a cadaver bone fused into his neck

    I first read this (with the sadly no visual filter) as “cadaver boner“. It elicited some odd mental images.

    re: mental illness – my take on mentally ill people is that they are basically the same mix of good and bad as the “normal” population, but with the additional challenge of mental illness. I see a person like Sally Kern, who I would term a very bad person, and also see her as someone, along with the rest of the right-wing, who is deliberately ignoring reality and trying her damndest to create her own.

    Ignoring reality steadfastly in favor of one’s own twisted reality seems that it could be called mental illness. Does this seem reasonable? or do those of you (such as d. sidhe) who have a real illness like schizophrenia ( and whom I regard as a good person), still prefer to just term her evil, instead of evil and insane?

  49. ckelly said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:50

    gay people are directly responsible for every single AIDS-related death
    I’m glad Kern cleared this up for me. I was thinking it was fucksticks like her and other Republicans intent on cutting funding for AIDS research.

  50. The Reality Based Dave said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:52

    NB: “LaBarbera – Sounds sort of girly.”

    LaBarbera is French for “the hairdresser”

    girly indeed…

  51. DrDick said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:56

    The gays have killed way more people than all Mooslim tehrists combined

    Actually, the top body count, as well as terrorist acts, belongs to radical white, rightwing, Christian American conservatives, but why quibble?

  52. vacuumslayer said,

    September 11, 2011 at 19:56

    Haven’t more people been killed by the flu than by AIDS? What about the people who spread flu? I HATE all those infants and old people! Or is flu-spreading ok because it doesn’t involve S-E-X? Also, does this fuckface know that straight people have AIDS? Granted I’m sure it kills more gay people than straight, which leads me ask this,,, Why the fuck does she care about AIDS, since it’s killing the terrorists anyway?

  53. Spanky the invisible SUPER MONKEY said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:00

    Once you realize there has to be an apocalypse in order to reach Heaven

  54. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:11

    Haven’t more people been killed by the flu than by AIDS?

    By an unfathomable margin. The Spanish Flu alone killed about 21 million worldwide in 1918.

  55. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:14

    Granted I’m sure it kills more gay people than straight, which leads me ask this,,,

    Not anymore. Heterosexual women have been and I believe still are the fastest growing and largest group. If you add up heterosexual contractions, IV drug infections and all other categories, they far outpace male to male contact.

  56. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:15

    Why the fuck does she care about AIDS, since it’s killing the terrorists anyway?

    That’s a good question. All I can come up with is that she’s fucking insufferable asshole who should DIAF.

  57. Jennifer said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:19

    Who the fuck is stupid enough to want to belong to a religion that believes which hole you stick the peepee in is the most important thing, anyway?

    Seriously? A god that’s more obsessed with where you put your dick than anything else is not a god…he’s a fucking pervert.

    So there you have it: these ripe fucks worship a pervert. Finally, it makes sense.

  58. Arky Le Homozombual said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:20

    Oh lookee. This is at least the second time Kern has flung this particularly rancid turd. The first recorded instance was in 2008, which prompted a response from the son of a woman killed in OKC.

    Out of the mouths of babes.

  59. D. Sidhe said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:20

    mingo: I like “evil”, but I’ve talked before about my reactions to mass killers who turn out to be schizophrenic. Those are not my most mature moments ever, I have to admit, but I’d rather not dwell on that.

    It’s not that different from the way I feel when someone points out that some utter fucking asshole is gay, or liberal, or from my town, or likes my favorite band, or whatever, but there’s the added complication that possibly the thing we have in common is a causal factor in why they did the horrible thing that makes me want to distance myself from them.

    So, yeah, it’s just me wanting to call them defective in a way that doesn’t mean I have to believe *I* am defective. But tsam is right, there are people who you can talk to them a while and know that their racism or their misogyny or their homophobia actually is pretty good evidence that they are mentally ill in some way, and that probably at a minimum therapy might change the way they act towards others.

    But I have to think we all have that immediate nothing-like-me reaction when we see people behaving in ways that repulse us (and to be perfectly fair I suspect that Kern and LaBarbera could justify their reactions to gays in the same way if they thought about it) so your reaction to that kind of instinct is probably different than mine (“feel persecuted by the comparison, then realize that’s what I’m doing and try to kick myself in the ass for acting like it’s ALL ABOUT ME, not always fast enough to stop me being a dolt in public”) is certainly just as relevant and probably more instructive.

    The thing about bigotry is, and I think this is parallel, we all have things that for whatever reason just physically make us sort of cringe as an instinct. The squick reaction, if you want to call it that. It’s maybe a conditioned response, it’s maybe just a personality tic, whatever. But it’s not uncommon for people who, say, are straight, to react to the thought of gay sex with a spontaneous “yikes”. If you can recognize that, and accept that other people don’t have that same instinct, and that your instinct is in itself no more morally compelling than anyone else’s instinct on the subject and therefore doesn’t have to determine how other people live, that’s tolerance winning over bigotry. If you can actually get to accept that that reaction doesn’t have to determine how *you* live, then you’re overcoming some of humanity’s worst instincts, and you are absolutely ahead of the game.

    I am not yet ahead of the game, and it’s also possible that my thoughts on the subject represent no more than an elaborate justification for me not bothering to try harder to curb my “OMG, there’s a strange MAN at my door, what does he WANT?” reaction I always get. (The fact that I think it’s relevant that I mostly react that way to white men because that’s where my PTSD came from, leads me to conclude that this is the case, and I’m just trying to pretend I’m not a bigot because my bigotries seem reasonable to me.)

  60. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:27

    But I have to think we all have that immediate nothing-like-me reaction when we see people behaving in ways that repulse us

    Geez, man. I’m a straight, white, middle aged male. I understand that your situation is different, but I get everything from racist rants, comedians like Jeff Dunham, the whole redneck “thing”, Ben Roethlisberger, John Wayne Gacy, Rick Santorum, the Bush family, Manifest Destiny…need I go on?

  61. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:32

    D. Sidhe, I enjoy not thinking about certain stuff too much and you JUST FUCKED THAT ALL UP!

    That was a very thoughtful treatise, and it made me think about my impulse to write people off at the first indication of disagreeable behavior. Thank you.

  62. Major Kong said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:34

    I just don’t get it.

    Nothing against gays, but I just don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about you guys. You’re not on my radar screen most of the time.

    These people are more obsessed with gay sex than most gay people I’ve met.

  63. Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:43

    Rarely is the question asked:

    “When hurricane Irene hit South Carolina, was God punishing Republicans and anti-gay bigots?”

  64. McJohn said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:48

    For DSM-V:
    Deliberate Reality-Ignoring Pathology (DRIP)
    Self-Aggrandizing Public Hate-Speech Disorder (SPHD)
    Imagined Scarcity Competition Psychopathology (ISCP)
    Willful Ignorance Disorder (WID)

    “You’ll have to excuse Rep. Kern. She was just diagnosed with WID.”
    “Oh, a WIDdie, eh? That’s too bad. Is she on meds?”
    “Not yet. First they have to declare her incompetent to hold office and send her to a treatment facility.”
    “Oh, that’s such a shame.”
    “Yes. Yes it is.”
    “But better that than to leave her in a position where she could do harm to others.”
    “Yes, that’s true.”
    “Well, I’ll be praying for her.”
    “Yes, me too.”

  65. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 20:49

    “When hurricane Irene hit South Carolina, was God punishing Republicans and anti-gay bigots?”

    Yeah, I’m always tempted to go there, but that would make me a disingenuous fucking asshole. It’s funny to think of how flustered they would get at the suggestion, though.

  66. Cerberus said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:02

    LC:

    Reaching back a long way, but this:

    The logical, reasoning part of me is forced to point out that the worst rates of HIV infection and AIDS deaths came long before societal and media acceptance of gay people, and so might not actually be correlated as she claims, but I know logic and reasoning have no place in this discussion. Instead, I will stick with flying pigs.

    Must yield the obvious answer which is that gays are one of the population most critical in slowing new infection rates of AIDS, by making it their 30 year mission to promote safe sex, easy condom access, and comprehensive sex education, especially among their own, to try and make it so no one, gay or straight.would ever have to suffer what the gay male community suffered through in the 1980s.

    And it’s largely worked. New infections in the LGBT community is way down and pretty much the few groups that aren’t are a couple of straight communities. Why? Because there is still strong religious pressure to label AIDS a “gay disease”, downplay or attack the effectiveness of safe sex and condoms, and argue instead for abstinence which promotes not actually preparing for potential sexual encounter lest you be considered a “chunky Reese Witherspoon”.

    So, yeah, repression, homophobia, and “good Christian values” nearly made us another Africa, but fags and dykes tried to save us all and for the most part succeeded.

  67. Cerberus said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:04

    Reaching back to tsam’s unrelated Pat Robertson mango:

    Robertson: Ladies and gentlemen I don’t want to get weird on this so please take it for what it’s worth. But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power, it has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it, there’s a crack in it and it’s closed up. Is that a sign from the Lord? Is that something that has significance or is it just result of an earthquake? You judge, but I just want to bring that to your attention. It seems to me symbolic. When Jesus was crucified and when he died the curtain in the Temple was rent from top to bottom and there was a tear and it was extremely symbolic, is this symbolic? You judge.

    There’s a crack on our national PENIS*!

    *VBSR

  68. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:17

    There is nothing unrelated or irrelevant about PENIS.

  69. Cerberus said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:32

    Now for mango hunting, splash, ooh, hey, second-hand safe harbor, that’s a nice change, what’s the import like:

    The Stoning of Sally Kern

    Hello, book title mango. I know this was briefly touched on, but really, this is just precious. She called gay people worse than terrorism in 2008 in an attempt to promote hate crimes against gay people and block any meaningful legislation from affecting gay people targeted by hate crimes and otherwise strip the very limited protections out gay people have in the state of Oklahoma (it’s pretty much all OKC specific).

    Her “stoning” was that she looked like an idiot to everyone who wasn’t a backwoods fuckstick and she had to deal with people using their free speech to note she was a vile moron. Especially once she started doubling down.

    Well, that and having the “indignity” of having to run against the FUCKING AWESOME transwoman and attorney Brittany Novotny who tried to run against her seat.

    Yeah, you heard me right. An open transwoman ran against Sally Kern in the most backwards right-wing fuckhole of one of our most famously vile states in the nation.

    Now, that takes gonads the size of trucks. Shockingly she was called a “confused it” and various other slurs the entire campaign by Sally Kern on down, cause, you know this is Bumfuck, OK.

    But yeah, it always amazing how all these bullies go “they, they, responded to me, using their free speech and everything, this is like the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone ever. Why, I’ll even have to borrow the language of actual injustice and oppression in order to demonstrate how horrible it truly is.”

    It makes you wonder if they ever look at one of the many dead their viewpoint creates while whining about how they are the real oppressed and a tiny flicker of shame begins to burn which they then beat to death with wrenches before trying to steal its ADAM.

    Yes, that’s right, these people are splicers.

    Kern is best known for saying that homosexuality is “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.” Kern has tried to explain that her remarks were taken out of context and distorted by the media, but she repeated her claim that homosexuality is “more dangerous” than terrorist attacks while speaking with LaBarbera, lamenting that young people are “bombarded” with the message that “homosexuality is normal and natural.” “It’s something they have to deal with every day,” Kern said, “Fortunately we don’t have to deal with a terrorist attack every day.”

    Ah, the original “It’s UNFAIR to quote my words verbatim back at me” girl. How proud she must be to see her works hit the national stage in a big way with the current crop of Republican candidates.

    Sniff, they grow up so fast.

    In the same time frame, there have been hundreds of thousands who have died because of having AIDS. So which one’s the biggest threat?

    Oh, no, no, you really don’t want to do that.

    See, everyone has agreed to treat Islamic Terrorism as some big existential street despite it only having one real big success in America that was only really able to work because of an outdated way of handling hijack scenarios on planes and a complete ball drop on the part of the Bush Administration and killing less people than cars do in a year.

    We do this, because we don’t really have a good grasp on numbers and are willing to acknowledge that the terror and fear created by such a dramatic and visually shocking style of attack, as well as the sorrow for those who died make a stronger impact than other types of death that are less media hyped.

    But see, it ruins that whole illusion when you start actually trying to compare the numbers to anything else, because frankly, Al-Queda has always been penny ante and small. The real impact has always been how it made us lose our shit and embrace our darkest selves for years.

    The 9/11 attacks killed about 3,000, less than half of the American casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan killed by our desperate war of choice, and many times less than the number of innocent Iraqis or Afghanis we’ve killed in misplaced blood lust. It’s way less than the death toll by homegrown right wing terrorists and way less than the various numbers of people killed simply by inadequate safety policies.

    Not to mention dwarfed in obscene ways by the victims of Republican social policy. All those who have died of lack of medical insurance, starvation, malnutrition, on benches as homeless, as the battered women who couldn’t make it to a shelter 100 miles away, all those killed by septic pregnancies because they couldn’t get legal medical procedures to save them from their already dead fetus, and the people who died invisibly because of “tough on X” policies towards the poor, the drug-using, or the gay.

    Or even those, as acknowledged, killed by AIDS because as long as it was “the Gay Disease that sometimes took out black people as well”, well, then, who fucking cared, right?

    Yeah, you don’t want to pop that illusion or we might actually look back and go:

    “Yeah, you’re absolutely right, we have been way overreacting over a bunch of nothing, let’s actually address what’s killing us in this country.”

    Which I guarantee wouldn’t go well for you or the rest of the human ghouls that make up the Republican Party.

    And sorry about the length…but not the girth. I don’t apologize for that part.

  70. Spearhafoc, who can't think of anything to write here at the moment said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:49

    so I suspect that before long we’ll be hearing that the presence of one gay person in a city raises the cancer rate by 50%.

    Better alert Rick Perry. He hates cancer.

  71. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:53

    Better alert Rick Perry. He hates cancer.

    Loves freedom? Hates cancer? I know who I’ve voting for!

  72. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:56

    Ho. ly. SHIT.

    I swear I got fucking stupid overnight.

  73. Cerberus said,

    September 11, 2011 at 21:58

    Oi, the Brent Bozell link…

    Uh, I’m trying to go mango hunting in it, but it’s just so textbook. Blah blah blah, “confused”*, blah blah blah, using the real gender in scarequotes, blah blah blah, “actually a X” where X is their birth gender, blah blah blah,
    “transgender propaganda movement” and so on. It’s just the usual “who do transgender people think they’re kidding, being human beings and all” shit. It’s just sad that this is the regular horseshit we have to put up with every time a transperson dares to show up in popular mediums. Or really in public.

    Yes, we get it, you think biological sex is a nifty weapon to use against transpeople because it is such a point of trauma for many transpeople. Well, done, you get a bully cookie, now fuck off.

    Though this mango is good:

    Four days earlier, ABC put on gay publicist Howard Bragman to call the AFA a “hate group” inspiring “hate opinions on email” that are like “people writing on a bathroom wall.” AFA may as well write on bathroom walls. It’s not getting a lick of airtime on ABC.

    Huh? Really? Cause it seems to me that whenever a gay issue comes up, usually because the homophobes are trying to once again make life worse for LGBT people, the national media always must convene a “dialogue” between some well meaning gay advocate trying to do basic level education and some member of a SPLC-certified hate group (AFA is one of the more popular) who basically just yells over everything and tries to run out the clock.

    But sure, Brent, AFA is completely shut out of the debate. Right.

    What makes that worse is that AFA should be shut out of the debate and treated as immaterial. They are an official hate group. Would you give the Klan equal air time on black or catholic issues or the Neo-Nazis on jewish issues? Would you consult them at all other than to note that the usual parties object to whatever the X is?

    Hell fucking no.

    Also maybe this though it’s rote as hell:

    Nowhere in any of this celebration is the hard reality. Despite “his” low voice, and his sideburns and his awful decision to amputate his own breasts, Bono remains a woman. It’s ridiculous for ABC to argue children won’t be confused by this political-correctness crusade. The entire transgender propaganda movement is confused. Indeed, there is a new sexual category to go alongside G, L, B and T –”Q” for questioning.

    Well yes, Q can stand for queer or questioning, this isn’t new. Hell, if you wanted new, you could mock QUILTBAG which is starting to get used in underground gay circles (where they make underground gay tote bags), which is an expanded letter arrangement to try and include everyone that’s covered in the big Pride family.

    But going to the main point. Why? Why exactly does he “remain a woman”? Because you say so? I mean, his legal sex is male, he looks like a male. He might still have a vagina, but that’s only because current bottom surgery for transmen kind of sucks and it looks better to just start by packing and use a strap-on for sex. So is it just standing up for birth sex in a “God doesn’t make mistakes” sort of way? Well, then whoops, God did.

    This is why I say its rote, because its just trying to hit below the belt because that’s the part that will cause your intended victims the most pain. There really is no real barometer for “real” X and if there was, I’d welcome them to meet their first intersex person and see their head explode as they try and divine what the “real” sex is supposed to be in their binary little world.

    *Yeah, I’m going right out and saying Ronnie James Dio is the only person allowed to use “confused” to describe a transgender person. As he said on the song “the word confused has been abused” and that was in 198fucking3.

  74. Cerberus said,

    September 11, 2011 at 22:05

    Oh missed this Bozell mango:

    ABC and the rest of the media universe can do all the pretending they want, but that’s not going to make Bono a real male. It’s not a completely inaccurate stereotype for people to say so. Silly, old-fashioned me; I’m stuck on human beings made as males and females.

    Okay, who else wants to help me wrangle together 100 intersex people to crash either his house or his next speaking engagement wearing only their birthday suits?

    Yes, silly, old-fashioned you stuck on “made as males or females” when that’s not how it fucking occurs in “God’s Green Earth”.

  75. g said,

    September 11, 2011 at 22:06

    But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power, it has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it,

    Well, actually, according to the statement of the Washington National Monument Society, who started the effort to build the monument, it was meant specifically to honor George Washington, and:

    It is proposed that the contemplated monument shall be like him in whose honor it is to be constructed, unparalleled in the world, and commensurate with the gratitude, liberality, and patriotism of the people by whom it is to be erected … [It] should blend stupendousness with elegance, and be of such magnitude and beauty as to be an object of pride to the American people, and of admiration to all who see it. Its material is intended to be wholly American, and to be of marble and granite brought from each state, that each state may participate in the glory of contributing material as well as in funds to its construction.

    It was a virtual symbol of federalism, since it was comprised of stone brought from each state. construction was started in 1848, but in 1854, the contemporary equivalent of the Tea Party – the Know Nothing Party – objected to the fact that the Pope had donated a stone to it, stole the donated stone and then, according to wikipedia:

    Then, in order to make sure the monument fit the definition of “American” at that time, the Know-Nothings conducted an illegal election so they could take over the entire [Washington National Monumen] society…. The Know-Nothings retained control of the society until 1858, adding 13 courses of masonry to the monument, all of which were of such poor quality that they were later removed. Unable to collect enough money to finish work, they increasingly lost public support. The Know-Nothings eventually gave up and returned all records to the original society, but the stoppage in construction continued into, then after, the Civil War

    Construction didn’t resume until 1879, and the monument opened to the public in 1888.

    So, really, Reverend Robertston, the Washington Monument is a symbol of the folly of bigoted, ignorant xenophobic partisan idiots like the Tea Party.

  76. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 22:15

    I think we should give ABC some kudos for not backing down or offering up phony fucking compromises or concessions (regardless of their motives). Let us hope this is the highest rated season ever.

  77. tsam said,

    September 11, 2011 at 22:16

    ABC and the rest of the media universe can do all the pretending they want, but that’s not going to make Bono a real male

    I TOTALLY give a shit, too.

  78. DrDick said,

    September 11, 2011 at 22:56

    It’s rare because Hurricane Irene didn’t hit South Carolina.

    Yeah, but the drought and fires in Texas are God’s way of saying “Fuck you” to Texas for electing such ignorant, bigoted, mean spirited assholes.

    On reflection, Texas is God’s way of saying “Fuck you” to Texans.

  79. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 11, 2011 at 23:49

    “The Stoning of Sally Kern”

    So THAT explains it.

  80. esteev, from his phone said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:03

    “So, really, Reverend Robertston, the Washington Monument is a symbol of the folly of bigoted, ignorant xenophobic partisan idiots like the Tea Party.”

    That is awesome. But, the Monument looks like a huge erect PENIS so it could also b be a memorial to all those gay men and straight women who have lost that one PENIS that pleased then but ultimately broke their heart

  81. esteev, from his phone said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:05

    Lots of errors but I’m on my phone and WP can suck it.

  82. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:09

    You’re not actually cheering the Texas drought, are you? Because it sure sounds that way.

    Concern troll is concerned. I am certain you were just as concerned when Pat Robertson and other Talibangeligal leaders have said similar things about disasters in places like New York City (including 9/11).

  83. N__B said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:12

    I am certain you were just as concerned when Pat Robertson and other Talibangeligal leaders have said similar things about disasters in places like New York City (including 9/11).

    Dr D: I’m still seething about this. Scumbags.

  84. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:21

    Dr D: I’m still seething about this. Scumbags.

    Exactly, as that is my primary point of reference here, though there have been others since. I will start being civil toward these fuckwits when they publicly repudiate those two and then stone Robertson in the public square.

  85. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:32

    Someone is unaware that we’re snarking on the right-wing tendency to blame every single natural disaster on (insert name of hated minority here) while ignoring the ironies of said worldview (like say the liberal areas of disaster zones getting off easier in destruction than local churches, see also “God hates the gay adjacent” episode of The Daily Show).

    See, the thing is liberals don’t actually think that God (if they even believe in it) is such a narcissistic and small minded fuck that it’d spend it’s time micromanaging natural disasters in sloppy but petty ways that happen to coincide with our objects of hate.

    That’s entirely a right-wing thing.

    So when bad things happen to the “heartland” after having every Rapturists with a microphone gleefully masturbating to ever earthquake, fire, power outage, etc that happens in “liberal mecca” cities, well, yeah, they deserve a little snark on the score of “so, does this mean God hates you” level.

    Because it outlines the hypocrises of disingenuous fucks like you.

  86. Looch said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:36

    Is there some sort of anniversary going on? I feel like I might have forgotten something. And I shouldn’t have.

    Thank Dog there is foodbawl.

  87. Chris said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:45

    Dr D: I’m still seething about this. Scumbags.

    The most I seethed about it was a year ago, when conservatives suddenly started concern-trolling that “ZOMG, Ground Zero Mosque = disrespectful and mean to poor victims’ families!” Yeah, cause you really give a shit about the New Yorkers and Washingtonians’ feelings on the actual week of the attack, didn’t you? You can tell from the way your “moral majority”‘s head honchos were gloating at God’s striking of feminist/gay Sodom and Gomorrah.

  88. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:54

    A colleague at my new job was telling me about how she got stuck for a year in Boulder, Colo., AKA the most fucked-up redneck armpit of the USA, to hear her tell it.

    Boulder is not far from Laramie, Wyo., where Matthew Shepard was killed, and Shepard was in fact taken to a hospital in Boulder, where he died. While he lay dying in front of his grieving parents, the local chapter of Fuckheads for Jesus picketed his hospital–and they got a permit from the city to do it!

    Oh, it sounds like a lovely place. There was the time she took a colleague from Venezuela to dinner at the nicest restaurant in town, and when the man asked for water, the waiter turned away and brayed, “Hey, the beaner wants some water!”

    That asinine woman can whine all she wants about “stoning.” As far as I can tell, all the violence is flowing one way.

  89. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 12, 2011 at 0:57

    Whoops whoops whoops. I meant Ft. Collins above, not Boulder. Appy poly logies.

  90. Kitten Parade said,

    September 12, 2011 at 1:14

    The opening of Sally Kern… I mean, Misty Beethoven!

  91. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:13

    That’s why I’m baffled as to why you want to compete with him.

    Get a fucking clue already. We (if I may presume) don’t mean it. Joke, snark, satire, lampoon, parody, irony, even, yada yada yada. Look those words up, & make an effort to comprehend them, pinhead.

  92. vacuumslayer is error-prone on her iPhone said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:13

    Concern!

  93. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:35

    I wonder, is deliberate ignorance and inventing false equivalence really that emotionally satisfying.

    I mean, I’m not doubting that it’s nearly automatic and probably a necessary step in order to avoid the cognitive dissonance between your actions/actual beliefs and one’s image of one’s self.

    But I wonder if it actually provides any relief. I would imagine it would just leave one with an ache that one couldn’t find release for. A haunting suspicion of that which one denies the most, leading one to go for larger and large false equivalences in order to justify that which went before.

    But then, maybe I’m wrong and it works like magic, but boy howdy it sure never looks like it from the outside.

  94. Spiny Norman said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:40

    You know what else is more dangerous than terrorists? Cigarettes, that’s what. Here, have a carton, Sally.

  95. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:44

    Never heard the “Oh, we don’t really mean it” one.

    And you are frequenting one of the most notorious snark sites in the known universe? I would say get a fucking clue, but I think you need to get a sense of humor first. It was fucking satire, asshat.

  96. Cerberus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:46

    Dennis:

    Well if we are to believe your persona.

    You apparently lack such reading abilities that a snarky reversal of a well-trod cliche used by powerful members of the religious right by a bunch of left-leaning commentators at a comedy blog is apparently the same thing.

    Hmm, let’s see, the commentators are a) powerless, b) repeating an already well-worn cliche of the otherside, demonstrating that when bad things happen to them its “god’s will” rather than “god’s judgment”, c) powerless, d) on a comedy blog, and e) jesus fucking christ, what were you raised in a vacuum that you seriously can’t tell the difference between bitter sarcasm and the well-worm repetition of stereotypes or bully techniques as “humor”.

    I mean, for fuck’s sake. The reason that “I was only kidding” isn’t a defense for that shit is because there is no real joke or point to be made. The “jokes” only work on two levels, either 1) “Hey, do you recall well known stereotype, cause I do”, or 2) said group embodies said stereotype and must be looked down upon.

    The “joke” is an insult and the “argument” “I was only kidding” is attempting to argue that humor is completely off-limits.

    Whereas here, people aren’t saying “yeah, someone hasn’t heard of satire” to escape shit, they are instead pointing out that the obvious missed point. That the use of these arguments repeatedly by the right are hypocritical demonization.

    It’s a survival mechanism by the powerless against the powerful.

    But see, it’s not worth pointing this out, because you are a concern troll and probably don’t believe in any of this but think by doing this you can “get back” at liberals for pointing out that you’ve never been funny a day in your life and that no, it’s not okay that the only healthy relationship you’ve ever had was with a Fleshlight you named Melinda.

  97. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:48

    We (if I may presume) don’t mean it.

    Given that I do not even believe in mythical sky fairies or related phantasmagora, that is a pretty safe bet.

  98. tigris said,

    September 12, 2011 at 2:49

    The woman at the top is wearing a toilet costume, OF COURSE WE’RE SERIOUS.

  99. shopworn hunchback said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:06

    a Fleshlight you named Melinda

    Esmeralda.

  100. M. Bouffant said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:08

    Somewhat Self-Righteous Sully (No link, ’cause it’s all here.):

    9/11 And The End-Times

    There seems little question the Islamist terror attack prompted renewed apocalypticism from the evangelical right. Here’s Billy Graham’s daughter’s take:

    [T]he alarm did not fade away. Instead, I have heard it reverberating throughout the past 10 years: from Hurricane Katrina to the record-breaking floods, forest fires, tornadoes, droughts, and snow storms; to the collapse of our major financial institutions; to the economic recession; to the inability to win the war in Afghanistan.

    The alarm keeps resounding because so many people have not heeded, or even heard, the warning … And what is the warning? Simply this: It is five minutes to midnight on the clock of human history. Judgment is at the door. Jesus is coming! It’s time to wake up and get right with God! Are you listening?

    Religious extremism begets religious extremism. In the Muslim world, the shift seems to have been somewhat against such extremism in the last decade. Not so much in the Republican party base.

  101. Looch said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:09

    Gah! Sportscasters talking about the meaning of Nine-Eleben.

  102. Looch said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:10

    I just want to watch a baseball game.

  103. Jesus H Christ said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:20

    Dennis, you are such a dumbshit that I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask God The Father to smite some sense into your two-planks-thick head.

    So next hurricane, better look out!

  104. Woodrowfan said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:22

    the problem with the Washington Monument is that it looks nothing like him!

  105. N__B said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:26

    So next hurricane, better look out!

    You better look out
    You better act nice
    He’s gonna find out who’s sinnin’ in vice
    Jesus Christ is coming to town.

  106. Spearhafoc, who can't think of anything to write here at the moment said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:30

    it’s not okay that the only healthy relationship you’ve ever had was with a Fleshlight you named Melinda.

    Hey! Don’t knock it ’till you’ve tried it.

  107. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 3:44

    I would say get a fucking clue, but I think you need to get a sense of humor first.

    He couldn’t get a clue during the clue mating season while doing a clue mating dance, slathered in clue musk, in the middle of a flock of clues… now, watch this drive!

  108. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 4:53

    Uh, where’d everybody go? Yeah, preview’s back, but I miss the commentariat.

  109. jim said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:03

    Alternate Shorter Kern = Queerfolks wanting to teach teens about safe sex is worse than 9/11 & Oklahoma City put together because DEMONIC ISLAMOSOCIALISM ISREAL! On the other hand, Ronald “Abwehr Fanboy” Reagan giggling & mugging his way past a growing mountain of human corpses all through the 1980s wasn’t terrorism in any way because AMERIKA CRYING EAGLE FREEDOM!

    Gee, and here I am thinking I was aware of all internet traditions.

    OH WOW – did SowellFan finally return?

    Funniest thing of all here being that when used correctly, “NO U” is often a home-run for inspiring vast tragic meandering threadkills. Sadly, this Troll Fu being used for the comments to this particular post is about as feeble as a drunken butterfly. Your bait is rancid & your hook is made of of tapioca. Enjoy your swordfight with a wood-chipper*, honeypie.

    a Fleshlight named Melinda

    Impossible not to hear something here.
    __________________________________________________________
    * … or whatever the youngs are calling it now.

  110. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:07

    [T]he alarm did not fade away. Instead, I have heard it reverberating throughout the past 10 years: from Hurricane Katrina to the record-breaking floods, forest fires, tornadoes, droughts, and snow storms; to the collapse of our major financial institutions; to the economic recession; to the inability to win the war in Afghanistan.

    goddammit! hubbkf told me tonight that el nina is back and we are to have another winter like last winter…fuck me! what did I do to piss god off?!?!?!?

  111. jim said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:17

    fuck me! what did I do to piss god off?!?!?!?

    If He set up an entire multi-year global weather cycle over it, I’m guessing it was something a tad more hardcore than taking an extra hit of Communion wine or coveting thy neighbor’s ass.

    1. Check your music collection for anything from Creed’s discography & do what your heart asks.

    2. Delete System 32 & divide by zero.

    3. ?????

    4. PROFIT!

  112. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:24

    3. ?????

    that was awesome…my mom had the desiderata taped to our bathroom mirror in every house we lived in…i just may have to post this to her fb page as payback…

  113. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:29

    she also had this taped up there:

    Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely
    improve the Present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future,
    without fear, and with a manly heart.

    i think she was trying to tell us something…

  114. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:38

    Ah, what a cute little concern troll. It’s so… concerning.

    I’m just thankful that dear Holy FSM has blessed me with a plentiful hop harvest this year. Praise be to his noodly appendage!

  115. Spearhafoc, who is being completely serious said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:39

    Dennis is literally Hitler.

  116. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:39

    Concerning the troll.

  117. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:40

    i think she was trying to tell us something…

    “Don’t put me in a home!”

  118. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:40

    Praising the appendage.

  119. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:42

    Wait, preview came back, and so did Dennis… Coincidence?

  120. rodert rudis said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:44

    “Now watch this drive”

    Billy Rabun’s answer:

    “I got your drive right here motherfucker, you punkass piece of texas trash. Tell you what, why don’t you hop on a plane and land your candy ass at Sandino International. I’ll ask a couple of hard cases from Chinandega to pick you up and drive you over to my place near the Cazares quebrada. But be warned dipshit, you come down here and I’ll fuck you up something bad, so goddamn bad your spacy wife gonna think you got fucked by a herd of goats. “Oh George, what happened to you, you look like you’ve been fucked by a herd of goats!”. Yeah, you heard me right motherfucker, my killing days are over and no matter how bad I wanna make an exception and disembowel you like a shoat pig I have made amends with the widows down by the Cathedral (I wept whille I listened to their stories and pressed their rosaries to my chest), so they know I am true. But that don’t mean I can’t kick your ass into the next fucking time zone. “

  121. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:46

    Wait, preview came back, and so did Dennis… Coincidence?

    So, WordPress has attained sentience, and Dennis is the “troll ghost in the machine”? Damn, I thought that, if W.P. ever attained sentience, the resultant artificial entity would name itself WordPressmute. “Dennis” is kinda prosaic, innit?

  122. Spearhafoc, who is changing his nym said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:49

    So, if Dennis is WordPress, does that mean we should start saying “FYD!” instead of “FYWP!” from now on?

  123. Johnny Pez said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:57

    These people are more obsessed with gay sex than most gay people I’ve met.

    That’s because most gay people actually get to have gay sex. It kinda takes the edge off.

    Um, or so I’ve heard.

  124. bbkf said,

    September 12, 2011 at 5:57

    So, if Dennis is WordPress, does that mean we should start saying “FYD!” instead of “FYWP!” from now on?

    as dennis IS aware of all internet traditions, he should fully be expecting this…

  125. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:02

    as dennis IS aware of all internet traditions, he should fully be expecting this…

    If he’s WordPress gone rampant, then he is an internet tradition.

  126. Johnny Pez said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:07

    Also, there’s no comparison between bigotry and mental illness, because bigots choose to be bigots.

  127. jim said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:08

    They seek him here, they seek him there,
    Those Sadlies seek him everywhere!
    Is he a hurricane? Is he a smell?
    That damned elusive Gimp. Oh, well.

  128. Spearhafoc, who is changing his nym said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:18

    Oh yes. But now I know you don’t really mean it.

    Or is that just what we want you to think?

    Good thing for you I’m not an intellectual prostitute because I just blew your mind for free.

  129. el said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:27

    there ain’t no homo fags in Oklahoma, just men who like to fuck each other in the privacy of public bathroom stalls before they go to church with their wives.

    This is known as the “I was just passing by” defense.

    to the inability to win the war in Afghanistan.

    Are they suggesting that Jesus is actually timing the road bombs to blow up and kill US soldiers and is helping Taliban snipers to steady their aim? So the Christian god is now flat out murdering Americans serving abroad? Is Jesus in cahoots with Allah then? How does this all work?

  130. John Revolta said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:30

    Also, there’s no comparison between bigotry and mental illness, because bigots choose to be bigots.

    Or maybe not.

  131. Jennifer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:37

    goddammit! hubbkf told me tonight that el nina is back and we are to have another winter like last winter…fuck me! what did I do to piss god off?!?!?!?

    This is good news! Yes, it was colder than shit here last winter and snowed a buttload (for Arkansas, anyway). But there were upsides. First, I never smelled the possum who died under the house, because it was cold enough that he dessicated before he could generate a powerful enough stench to reach into the house.

    Second, and MOAR IMPORTANT, last year’s El Nina cold winter KILLED THE SHIT out of the giant fucking flying roaches. Before last winter, it was typical to see (and kill) one of those nasty motherfuckers in the house every day. Since last year, I’ve had a total of TWO, count ‘em TWO of said nasty motherfuckers invade the house. I think the scorching heat and dry weather this summer did a one-two punch on them, but whatever did it, I’ll take it. ‘Cos I hates me some giant fucking disgusting flying roaches. And anything that knocks down their population for the next few years is a good thing.

  132. Jennifer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:38

    Also too: I think that should be La Nina. I think it’s El Nino, and La Nina.

  133. Johnny Pez said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:48

    Fucking Spanish, how does it work?

  134. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2011 at 6:55

    I get my daily dose of moral fiber from eating virgin Metamucil.

    Is an AHEM valid if it’s from another blog?

  135. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 7:19

    Now watch this drive!

    When the GWOT began it added 25 yards to GeeDub’s drive.

  136. tsam said,

    September 12, 2011 at 9:04

    Dennis! Your name is Dennis. You really must shutup. That name is so embarrassing.

  137. tensor said,

    September 12, 2011 at 9:10

    SERIOUS troll is SERIOUS! We must take his SERIOUS comments SERIOUSly, or we’re Internet Hitler and the Gay Terror Brigade has won (fabulously).

    Look, Dennis, as the lovely tigris has already noted, the author of this post put a p-shopped image of a woman wearing a toilet costume atop this entry. Now, think SERIOUSly about it. Does this mean we readers here actually believe a state legislator prances around in such an outfit in her state’s Capitol, or was it a visual joke about her level of “thinking”?

    The voters in some district of a state which receives a generous amount of my federal tax dollars elected the depicted bonehead, who decided to (ab)use the anniversary of 9/11 to make some ludicrously hateful, victim-blaming comments about gays and AIDS, because in her little bigoted pea-brain, there’s some connection between those topics and terrorism. (As an aside, some of the victims of 9/11 were probably gay — I haven’t arsed myself to check — because a group of New Yorkers that large will, statistically speaking, tend to have some gays in it.) Making her look like a toilet was, IMHO, needlessly kind, but then I don’t have posting privileges here.

  138. tensor said,

    September 12, 2011 at 9:12

    Internet Hitler and the Gay Terror Brigade

    Didn’t sell as many tickets as Springtime for Hitler, but then sequels rarely perform as well as their originals.

  139. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2011 at 9:48

    the author of this post put a p-shopped image of a woman wearing a toilet costume atop this entry.

    Co-incadincally, I was telling someone about Motel of the Mysteries the other day.

  140. N__B said,

    September 12, 2011 at 11:26

    Is an AHEM valid if it’s from another blog?

    Phlegm has limited aerodynamic properties.

  141. stackozone said,

    September 12, 2011 at 11:46

    “Toot & Cum-In”

  142. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 11:51

    Did someone take the ball-gag out of Dennis’s mouth? THere was a sign and everything!

  143. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 11:52

    Now, think SERIOUSly about it. Does this mean we readers here actually believe a state legislator prances around in such an outfit in her state’s Capitol, or was it a visual joke about her level of “thinking”?

    Well, it IS the Oklahoma state house and only two things come out of Oklahoma: turds and birds, and I ain’t seeing no wings on her

  144. vacuumslayer is error-prone on her iPhone said,

    September 12, 2011 at 14:00

    Dennis, may I ask what your purpose is in coming here? I’m asking in a serious, non-snarky way, just so we’re clear.

    I’m curious because you seem to find so much of what’s said here objectionable.

  145. Johnny Pez said,

    September 12, 2011 at 14:35

    vs, I think you just answered your own question.

  146. N__B said,

    September 12, 2011 at 14:40

    I’m asking in a serious, non-snarky way

    Yeah, right.

  147. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 12, 2011 at 15:06

    I almost cared about that, Dennis.
    ~

  148. N__B said,

    September 12, 2011 at 15:06

    I almost gave a serious response

    Try to imagine the vast, unplumbable depths of my disinterest.

  149. Corso di formazione Autocad said,

    September 12, 2011 at 15:15

    I think this post rock’s!

    Bye

  150. El Manquécito said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:25

    Some well reasoned, temperate political discourse, spotted yesterday in FL.

  151. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:37

    can embarrassment really exist on a snark blog, tsam?

    Well, you’re here…

  152. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:39

    Anyway, back to Kohler Kern…what does a gay terrorist wear? I mean, Muslims were the hijab and the burnoose, right? At least they do in her limited world view, so what does she figure a gayrrorist wears?

  153. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:40

    Some well reasoned, temperate political discourse, spotted yesterday in FL.

    Ya noted the license plate, correct? Must be paralyzed from the neck up.

  154. ckelly said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:45

    Some well reasoned, temperate political discourse, spotted yesterday in FL.

    “Keep your dirty government hands off my federal disability funds!”

  155. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:51

    I give the guy/gal credit: he can at least spell.

  156. J Neo Marvin said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:56

    But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power, it has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it, there’s a crack in it and it’s closed up.

    There is a crack in everything, dumbass. hat’s how the light gets in.

  157. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:56

    Well, it IS the Oklahoma state house and only two things come out of Oklahoma: turds and birds, and I ain’t seeing no wings on her

    AHEM, sir, AHEM, I say. Not all of us from Oklahoma are inbred, psychopathic, idiots. Of course those of us who are not mostly left the state years ago.

  158. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:57

    Paul Krugman demonstrates his awareness of Internet traditions.

  159. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:57

    Not all of us from Oklahoma are inbred, psychopathic, idiots.

    Yes, but you tweet.

  160. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 16:59

    But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power

    So America was the Soviet Union before the Soviet Union was the Soviet Union?

    Where’s the monument to record tractor production? Or shortest line for toilet paper?

  161. Major Kong said,

    September 12, 2011 at 17:03

    Not all of us from Oklahoma are inbred, psychopathic, idiots.

    Just the ones you elect to public office.

  162. El Manquécito said,

    September 12, 2011 at 17:07

    Not all of us from Oklahoma are inbred, psychopathic, idiots.

    There is at least one other exception: JJ Cale

  163. Mat said,

    September 12, 2011 at 17:12

    …what does a gay terrorist wear?

    Not sure…BUT:

    Teh Gheys don’t do burkas, goddamnit.

  164. Steerpike said,

    September 12, 2011 at 17:32

    “El Nina”

    Are taking about Chas Bono again?

  165. Lurking Canadian said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:02

    so what does she figure a gayrrorist wears?

    I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s FABULOUS.

  166. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:05

    But it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power, it has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it, there’s a crack in it and it’s closed up.

    There may be a crack in the Washington Monument, but several large pieces fell off the National Cathedral. So God supports the idea of seperation of church and state!

  167. Steerpike said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:11

    God used to be so awesome–creating universes, breathing life into inanimate dust, speaking from burning bushes and parting seas…Now all it seems like he can do is show His face in pancakes and water stains (if you squint), inspire His favorite athletes to score (sometimes), and (arguably) cause slightly higher levels of structural damage to symbolic structures he dislikes. Whadda chump.

  168. Helmut Monotreme said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:11

    the problem with the Washington Monument is that it looks nothing like him!

    Are you sure? Maybe its all the drawings and paintings and engraving that are wrong. Maybe he wasn’t a mason, maybe he was masonry.

  169. Willy said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:12

    cracking the monument

  170. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:13

    Also, another perplexing question about the Christians. Why do the people who so vehemently insist that there is an afterlife and this wonderous place called Heaven to spend eternity always beg their God to save them or a loved one from having to go there whenever they face death? Seems like if they really believed or if they really loved that person they would pray for the Heaven option.

  171. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:14

    the problem with the Washington Monument is that it looks nothing like him!

    I have it on good authority from Thomas Jefferson’s wife that there’s a strong resemblance.

  172. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:15

    Why do the people who so vehemently insist that there is an afterlife and this wonderous place called Heaven to spend eternity always beg their God to save them or a loved one from having to go there whenever they face death?

    Cuz they haven’t been repaid the $100 they loaned.

  173. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:17

    I have it on good authority from Thomas Jefferson’s wife D-KW’s mom that there’s a strong resemblance.

    Slightly adjusted to reflect S,N! internet tradition.

  174. Woodrowfan said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:21

    the problem with the Washington Monument is that it looks nothing like him!

    I have it on good authority from Thomas Jefferson’s wife that there’s a strong resemblance.

    So did Betsy Ross, and Martha. “Father of His Country” indeed!

  175. Willy said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:25

    Thread Bear said,
    September 12, 2011 at 18:13

    Thinking through religion is bound to give you brain cramps.

  176. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 12, 2011 at 18:38

    Ya noted the license plate, correct? Must be paralyzed from the neck up.

    Glynn County, Georgia. Gotta love it. HHI sticker from Hilton Head Island. Rich golfers, need one say more?

  177. smedley said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:02

    “Not all of us from Oklahoma are inbred, psychopathic, idiots.

    There is at least one other exception: JJ Cale”

    Another exception: Elizabeth Warren.

  178. jim said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:11

    Freedom isn’t free!

    It’s 90% OFF.

  179. tsam said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:27

    Haha! jim finds teh funneh in the comments:

    It’s because firewood costs less.

    Silly publisher. Conservatives don’t read.

    $2.59 more than I’m willing to pay, not worth the paper that was wasted not even worthy of the dingle berries hanging off my butt hairs.

    Should be printed in rolls

    Anybody else thinking about Stewie in his house made of Brian’s book?

    its simple-fuck this shit.

    “Going Rogue” was a #1 New York Times Bestseller? I don’t want to live on this planet any more…

    Toilet paper´s getting expensive these days

    I down vote any pic that makes me look at her.

    Soon they’ll start paying people to take them

    and then she writes another one

    dog shit has more value

    Borders is bankrupt

    I kinda feel sorry for Sarah Palin. Twilight sells millions of copies but her book, which is a literary equivalent, won’t sell at all.

    just show us Bristol’s tits.

    needs more boobs

  180. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:28

    Freedom isn’t free!

    Isn’t this where Regenery sweeps in to buy up the remaindered copies?

  181. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:33

    I have been using a new little talking point on the wingnuts that I run into in day to day life. It requires them to think a little bit, so it is probably wasted on them, but it makes me feel better to shove it down their throats. I tell them that if they really, really, really want to stop federal spending then they must re=elect Obama. If Obama gets a second term then the Republicans in congress will continue to choke the purse strings and the country and will scream bloody murder if there is any talk of raising the debt ceiling. If a Republican is elected then the Republicans will return to the “deficits don’t matter” policy of St. Ronnie as told by apostle Dick.

  182. Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:35

    Nothing against gays, but I just don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about you guys. You’re not on my radar screen most of the time.

    *sigh*

    A faggot’s work is never done.

  183. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:35

    Anyone link to Roy’s Voice column yet? This week’s is good.

  184. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:40

    A faggot’s work is never done.

    Sector 7G reports a 22% drop in enlistments in the past 30 days.
    .

  185. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:44

    Sector 7G reports a 22% drop in enlistments in the past 30 days.

    Quickly! Make more three-year-olds, faggots!

    D’oh!

  186. Thread Bear said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:45

    Sector 7G reports a 22% drop in enlistments in the past 30 days.

    Enlistments are up in sector 2B though.

  187. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 19:53

    A faggot’s work is never done.

    You seem to enjoy it.

  188. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 12, 2011 at 20:10

    A faggot’s work is never done.

    Sometimes getting there is half the fun*.

    *Uhh, totes heterosexually of course.

  189. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2011 at 20:21

    A faggot’s work is never done.

    Well, all the self-help books say, “Do what you love, love what you do!”

  190. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 20:29

    Sometimes getting there is half the fun*.

    And yet your mom still insists on tips.

  191. Whale Chowder said,

    September 12, 2011 at 20:33

    And yet your mom still insists on tips.

    Sadly, that’s all she ever gets from you. The rest of us can provide a bit…more.

  192. Woodrowfan said,

    September 12, 2011 at 20:34

    And yet your mom still insists on tips.

    oh, she insisted on getting a lot more than the tip!

  193. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 20:59

    Yes, but you tweet.

    Not me, ever.

    Just the ones you elect to public office.

    As noted in my post, I left long ago (24 years ago to be exact), before the lunatics took over the asylum.

    There is at least one other exception: JJ Cale
    Also Leon Russell (speaking of Asylum), who also attended Will Rogers High School in Tulsa.

  194. DrDick said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:02

    Another exception: Elizabeth Warren.

    Also Woody Guthrey, Will Rogers, and Ray Wiley Hubbard.

  195. 1. jim said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:03

    The wingnuts’ rhetoric-fetish of “Teh 9/12 Movement” causes jim’s lulz-gland to grow tumescently turbid.

    In this trope, the waxing dark tide of seething raw inhuman evil that is Amerika’s pro-terrorist appeasement-rabid pagan vegan macrobiotic vanilla-lesbian handicapped Democrats = “a 9/10 mindset” (on 9/10 Clinton was spending his last day making it possible, sheeple!!!) wheras the living breathing miracle that was Bush & Cheney’s stellar success at degrading the Constitution, the Bill Of Rights (& eventually also the Magna Carta) on behalf of keeping Amerika free, safe, perfect, holy, happy, strong, pure, distilled & with balanced electrolytes = “a 9/12 mindset” … because REAL-Amerikinz™ immediately (er, immediately the next day, like, very first thing after breakfast AT THE VERY LATEST) heard the patriotic clarion call of their pylorus & thus GutKnew that reacting exactly the way OBL had said in public that he hoped they would was what Jesus, Elvis, Lassie, The Gipper & Nancy would all want for Xmas.

    The sheer surreal refraction of the bloody thing is enough to render me downright gormed. Or perhaps my memories of many many channels of TeeVee on 9/12 all covering many many suspiciously hippy-dippy looking candlelight gatherings were all due to swamp gas?

    Isn’t this where Regenery sweeps in to buy up score an easy 20% commission just by helping Super-Sarah sucker NRO, Hot Air, ReneuterAmer1ca, AceOfPlayDoh, et al into making subscription promo merch out of the remaindered copies?

    FTFY.

  196. Johnny Pez said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:05

    There is at least one other exception: JJ Cale.

    Also James Garner.

  197. Johnny Pez said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:07

    Not so sure about Jimmy Joe Meeker, though.

  198. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:07

    Sadly, that’s all she ever gets from you.

    She can’t handle the whole thing, true.

  199. actor212 said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:08

    Yes, but you tweet.

    Not me, ever.

    Better start. You don’t want us accusing you of anything.

  200. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:29

    OT. All they need to do is NOT SCREW THIS UP.

    Teh bulk is limiting deductions for teh top tax bracket, then eliminating oil and gas tax subsidies and teh hedge fund manager pass through – all to pay for a jobs program. At >9% unemployment and on teh brink of a double-dip. They are going to soak slightly moisten teh rich in order to put people back to work. I mean it’s less than half a trillion, so still not big enough. It’s mostly smoothing over teh “stimulus becomes anti-stimulus” problem. But moar importantly, it has a chance at slowing teh runaway inequality problem.

    If’n teh Dems can stick to this and not tear out all teh good parts, then this is good. Because only teh craziest of crazies will vote against a jobs bill right now. FFS, if they had to vote on teh package as is, today – it would pass. Sure there are lots of crazy GOPpers, but there are a bunch that are also cowards at heart.

  201. 1. jim said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:29

    *atones for typo with festive Randroid Paradise soap-opera*

  202. Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:36

    As an aside, some of the victims of 9/11 were probably gay — I haven’t arsed myself to check ..

    No, there were none at all.

  203. Chris said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:40

    OT: How to determine which GOP candidate to support chart.

  204. tsam said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:45

    If’n teh Dems can stick to this and not tear out all teh good parts, then this is good. Because only teh craziest of crazies will vote against a jobs bill right now

    I don’t know, man. We’re talking about Republicans who actually encouraged the idea allowing some debts to default. They knew that would drive up the cost of debt service. They knew that would put further strain on the economy. They don’t give a fuck about jobs. This thing has to get through the House. I’m not holding my breath.

  205. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:46

    How to determine which GOP candidate to support chart.

    I’ve masturbated with a five dollar bill so this doesn’t answer my question.

  206. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:48

    You don’t want us accusing you of anything.

    YOU LIE!

  207. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:51

    Shovel Ready Projects

  208. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:57

    They don’t give a fuck about jobs. This thing has to get through the House. I’m not holding my breath.

    They give a fuck about their jobs. They can rail on ad nauseum about staying clean and pure to their deficit hawk no tax increase bullshite job creator nonsense, but in teh end they will have to choose between a jobs bill and hedge fund manager pass through.

    It’s a fucking jobs bill. Paid for by eliminating politically unpopular tax cuts. The only way this could go wrong (and I give that liklihood a 95% chance of happening) is if teh Dems cave on it before it gets a vote.

  209. Spearhafoc, who is changing his nym said,

    September 12, 2011 at 21:59

    Why do the people who so vehemently insist that there is an afterlife and this wonderous place called Heaven to spend eternity always beg their God to save them or a loved one from having to go there whenever they face death?

    Also, why not kill every child before they reach the age of accountability*? Sure, God wouldn’t like it, and you’d go to Hell, but you’d be saving them from even the possibility of eternal torment should they sin after they’re of age. It’s the good and moral thing to do.

    *More of a Catholic thing, but it appears in the Left Behind books so obviously other fundies are into it too.

  210. esteev, from his computer said,

    September 12, 2011 at 22:08

    why not kill every child before they reach the age of accountability

    Then who will be unlucky patriotic enough to grow up and go to war?

  211. El Manquécito said,

    September 12, 2011 at 23:09

    Also Woody Guthrey, Will Rogers, and Ray Wiley Hubbard.

    I knew that but I really like JJ Cale. Actually met Leon because an old friend toured with him for a while. He is no advertisement for Oklahoma though he can still get off an anecdote or two. Ask him about playing for the Tiny Terror in the Wall of Sound. Rich material.

  212. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:19

    Where’s the monument to record tractor production? Or shortest line for toilet paper?

    It’s WalMart.

  213. Cerberus said,

    September 13, 2011 at 0:27

    It’s a fucking jobs bill. Paid for by eliminating politically unpopular tax cuts. The only way this could go wrong (and I give that liklihood a 95% chance of happening) is if teh Dems cave on it before it gets a vote.

    Well…guaranteed to go wrong then.

    The Republicans have spent the last umpteen and a half months basically giving the Democrats free ads and the Dems haven’t stuck once. I’m really not inclined to expect they will. But happy to see that Obama has at least noticed that his job is in danger and is making the appropriate noise.

  214. Johnny Pez said,

    September 13, 2011 at 4:11

    Not only will the Republicans roll Obama, you can even predict how they’ll roll him. They’ll lure him in by playing to his bipartisanship fetish, then pull a bait & switch on him. He’ll cave, just like he always does.

  215. GoatBoy said,

    September 14, 2011 at 20:23

    Wants the record to show, especially to Jennifer way up top, that Oklahoma City produced both Sally Kern and Brittany Novotny, her openly trans opponent. And that the election wasn’t exactly the landslide one would expect from Bumfuck Oklahoma.

  216. Christina said,

    September 16, 2011 at 16:13

    Since when is Islam a threat against the USA anyway? I thought it was a religion. I must have been wrong.

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