The “up your arse” line had a successful pilot last year when Obamacare was constantly being compared to suppositories. It’s only a matter of time before it’s rolled out fag-wide.

I think Lloyd Marcus is kind of cute.

Oh Lloyd, dear. We don’t want to make everyone homosexual. Only the cute young guys. 10% is not enough – RECRUIT RECRUIT RECRUIT!

Can FAGNAROK be far behind?*

*I can’t be ARSED to remember from whom I stole this.

If Lloyd gay-married 2n he would be Lloyd Marcus Bachmann. 2n could be Marcus Bachmann Marcus. It’s a match made in heaven.

Why was he wearing his trademark hat indoors? Either he’s self-conscious about male pattern baldness or the Good White Christian Folks he hangs out with wouldn’t recognize him out of costume.

He and Kenneth Gladney should go on tour to raise money for the beleaguered Allen West. ‘One sings, the other falls down!’

Because the Bible says that homosexuals are an abomination,

Relevant.

Marcus, when Lloyd’s around, watch you’re back, man.

Whether you agree with the Bible or not is irrelevant. My point is Bachmann did not “make up” her take on homosexuality. It came from a holy book considered sacred by mega-millions worldwide.

Yes, mega-millions, meaning more people than have ever existed on the earth so ALIENS ISRAEL!

Apparently the ultimate goal of the media is to make everyone big fat gay inhabitants of big fat over-decorated gay homes.

Would this mean I can watch the goddamn game in peace?

Actual quote

Patriots, I realize all of you are not Christians,,,

OMG. Why does Lloyd Marcus hate Christians? You can be a Christian and not a traitor to teh country.

You can tell he hates Christianity because he’s ghey he edits teh Holy Words of Teh Bibble! Here’s teh atual* quote from Romans 1:26:

For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,

OMG. All taht ghey stuff? Goddidit. Not just as in “God created everyone and therefore he created teh Gheys,” but teh Bibble specifically says taht God made people who weren’t ghey before into gheys.

OMG. Therefore, according to Lloyd Marcus, teh evil plot to turn everyone into ghey faggortzeds IS DOIN’ TEH WORK OF TEH LORD!

*actually actual.

Jeez, and to think I thought I was coming down with strep throat. Silly me, that sore feeling when I swallowed was just that goddamn gay agenda being shoved down my throat.

Wait…WTF is this so-called gay agenda? And where can I sign up?

Even home improvement and cooking TV programs feature a high number of homosexual couples disproportionate to the population. Clearly, many TV producers have an agenda to normalize the homosexual lifestyle.

I’ve met so many butch lumberjacks making petite fours and laying curtain rods, let me tell you…

10% is not enough

Slacker. I’ve personally raised the profile of ice hockey higher than that.

Yes, I have TMJ problems…

So, folks, please understand that the only thing between you, sodomy, minimalist furniture and three helpings of lavender and tilleul infused crème brulée is Michelle Bachman and Lloyd Marcus.

Point of order, your Honor!

It’s Miche1e.
~

AKA One L.
~

For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,

So why isn’t Lloyd blaming the bitches?

Point of order, your Honor!

It’s Miche1e.

Miche1e, ma be1e

As has been pointed ot before: Two Ns, One L.

I always like to mention Marcus is from Deltona, Florida, home of Twiggy the Water-Skiing Squirrel.

Holy shit, if ever a photoshopped fake pink cock should be included in a pic on Sadly, No!…see above!

Just imagine if conservatives spent one-one hundredth of one-one hundredth of the time they spend being all “OMG THE FAGGORZ AND LEZBOZE R N OUR MEDIA CONVERTINGS OUR YOUTS!!!” on actual problems facing our nation. Wonder what that’d be like … ?

And it sure would be nice if these assfaces stopped using The Bible as justification for their bigotry (or, in this guy’s case, an attempt at hiding the fact he’s buried deep* in the closet). After all, they obviously have no interest in following EVERYTHING that’s in there — just whatever parts match their preconceived prejudices.

So unless they demand that Newt be stoned (not in the fun way) to death for adultery, or that women STFU while in church, they can ram that Bible somewhere other than their throats.

(*NSVsodomyR)

Twiggy the Water-Skiing Squirrel

Now we know who has his nuts.

Matching the prejudice

Liberal Media Forces Homosexuality Agenda Down America’s Throat

Sticks Nix Dick Licks

J— said,

August 31, 2011 at 20:29

I always like to mention Marcus is from Deltona, Florida, home of Twiggy the Water-Skiing Squirrel.

I was just saying to myself, isn’t J— due to put up another blog post any day now?
~

Sticks Nix Dick Licks

Nicely played, sir!

*polite golf clap*

Martini? A truly shopworn gin awaits!

Adventures with the tea party anthem composer,
“As we crossed great plains canopied by spacious skies, Debbie asked if I had ever seen a jac-ca-lope which looks like a cross between a jack rabbit and an antelope. I am a city boy originally from Baltimore. So, I was excited about seeing this animal indigenous to the plains.

I parked myself at the front of the bus along side our bus driver hoping to see a jac-ca-lope. After about an hour, my wife Mary joined me. I told her why I was filled with anticipation visually scanning the massive countryside.

Mary said, “There is no such thing as a jac-ca-lope”.

Then, I heard Debbie Lee laughing. I know the Bible speaks against revenge. But, I am planning my perfect opportunity to pay back Debbie Lee.”

But, I am planning my perfect opportunity to pay back Debbie Lee

Send her on a snipe hunt. With a sticky wicket.

I’d never heard of this moronic, closeted assclown before and now I’m sorry I have. He sure earns the conservatard pennies for this sad and humiliating tap dance.

OMG. I don’t even know what his point is. First it’s all “there’s nothing wrnog about teh ghey” and then it’s all “OMG. Don’t even try and pretend it’s normal.” Sounds like someone got turned down for a date.

Anyways – let’s waltz ourselves into Marcus’ crazeee world of “Not that there’s anything wrnog with it, but don’t you dare try to normalize it”. His complaint, the entirety of it, is that teh ebil Leftsist Conspiracy is trying to make it seem like there’s nothing wrnog with being ghey – i.e. supposedly teh exact same thing he believes. Okay, I get it – if you lurve censorship so damn much, you should totes endorse censorship of those you agree with. Kudos on teh consistency.

BUT how is teh ebil Fundamentalist Homosexual Leftsism infringing on Lloyd’s freedom? How do they infringe on any homophobic bigot’s freedom? No one is saying that homophobic bigots should be locked up in re-education camps* – just that when they espouse their homophobic and bigoted putrid bile, people are allowed to respond with disgust.

If Lloyd’s point is that Two N’s, One L is perfectly right in believing taht teh Gheys are immoral abominations and detestable deviants – then what’s teh problem with her saying so? That teh ebil Leftsists will get all offended? Isn’t that a plus? What happened to teh USA being a centre-right Christian nation?

Sorry Lloyd, you’ve got it completely ass-backwards (heh heh). Demanding that no one take offense to homophobia – that’s teh assault on freedom. Taht’s something that will require Thought Police**. You are free to have your hatred of homosexuals (provided you don’t act on it) and everyone else is free to react to your anti-social neurosis with teh revulsion it justly deserves.

*Campier than you’d believe.
**Every Breath She Thinks She Takes is a great song.

Yeah, yeah, the Bible hates fags, we get it, Marcus.

The Bible also says this about slavery in Ephesians 6:5:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ.

I’m sure the plantation overseer back in the day absolutely loved quoting that passage as he lashed the living fuck out of your great-great grandfather with a gigantic bullwhip. Or as he raped your great-great-great grandmother with impunity.

Yep, that Bible, gotta follow it to a ‘t.’

I used to watch a lot of those interior design/home improvement shows. Many of the hosts were obviously gay. Still, NO BUTTSEX.

Wait…was I watching the wrong decorating shows?

any information they have regarding the plans of the nazi’s,

Knock yourself out

Wait…was I watching the wrong decorating shows?

Funny, I saw plenty on “If Balls Could Talk” and “Haus Hungers”

** For values of great that include creepily stalkerish.

Headlines need to be short, so he can’t use “Liberal Media Forces Rock-hard, Throbbing, Homosexuality Agenda Down America’s Throat.”

BTW, this selective quoting f Levidcus is annying. After all, it also says that children who disrespect their parents shall be put to death. Eating beasts from the sea without fins? Abomination. That thing is filled with all kinds of whacky rules, and most verses end with “shall be put to death.” Oh, and it calls for a fine, and nothing else, when a man causes another man’s wife to miscarry.

I used to watch a lot of those interior design/home improvement shows. Many of the hosts were obviously gay.

You need to watch Steven and Chris.

A truly shopworn gin awaits!

I think it is so wonderful that a concerned lurker took the time to provide us with this shiny new in-joke to shopwear.

Sorry for the typos above, but Lloyd has me all excited, in a completely heterosexual way, of course.

After all, it also says that children who disrespect their parents shall be put to death.

Oh sure! Now that mine’s graduated from college…

I think it is so wonderful that a concerned lurker took the time to provide us with this shiny new in-joke to shopwear.

Does this joke make my ass look fat?

Well, Leviticus says you shall not lie with a male as with a female–but nothing about kneeling (or any other positions). So there’s a, uh, loophole.

Well, Leviticus says you shall not lie with a male as with a female

Well duh, you put it in the bum.

You need to watch Steven and Chris.

They’re GAY?

Well duh, you put it in the bum.

I see I’m not the only hobosexual around here.

Quarters, then we’re all that stuff, too? Mark V. Tells them off, I suppose Michael Walsh hasn’t really seen or unseen because you’re not making any jokes about shooting engineers into space. Libertarian whackjob heavy disciplines with degrees in depressing sound like the president’s religion — it’s hard to be required as a band that was the ruler of the president’s religion — the public benefits. Hasn’t ever heard the term shitbag fucknuts asshole scumsucker either. Wimmins, in depressing. “Shibboleth.”

Grafs down on earth. Mohammed Christian, furious is a band that specialized in depressing. Etc. UK blacklisted people on the most depressing. Editorial, Sarah Palin unplugged geez, metaphors that stuff, too? No, Pink Floyd is quite the Judeo-Christian enlightenment, it’s hard to be able to something called dominionism.

(not kc) said, August 31, 2011 at 20:27 Thread Bear said, August 31, 2011 at 19:53 Michael Walsh hasn’t ever heard the ruler of him into space. Happened to envision such a band that specialized in depressing. Victim, dragged him into space. Presidential candidate. “Best and you’re not making any jokes about shooting engineers into space. Expensive sunglasses and Rick Perry’s “ties” to something heating.

Torchywoody? Torching the Judeo-Christian enlightenment, it’s hard to be to something heating. Flourish within Africa are keen to be able to. Definition – but blames the constitution explicitly states, “No religious test to something heating of him this. Onions as to.” Scared to something heating of that was the Judeo-Christian enlightenment, it’s the constitution is quite the term shitbag fucknuts asshole scumsucker either. Sparse example that was the president’s religion was the constitution explicitly states, how would die horrible brief deaths.

Pwn libtards whenever it. On earth. Ugh. Supplies demonstrates that specialized in depressing sound like my flesh and Rick Perry’s texas, you encounter a band that specialized in depressing. Yourself… He’ll be best socialist realism, muslimthrashmetal interpretive dance troupe evah! I met the constitution explicitly states, how cute my wife will give you saw? Is god the ruler of that stuff, too? Mark v. Balance activities? It’s the Judeo-Christian enlightenment, it’s rarely seen or public. Tender, flavorful meat from a band that specialized in depressing sound.

Well, Leviticus says you shall not lie with a male as with a female

Well duh, you put it in the bum.

It says NOT as you lie with a female…

I’m confused.

I think someone’s playing with a Markov chaining device like the JanusNode. Fortunately, BADGERS.

Mark V. Shaney said,
August 31, 2011 at 20:57

Y’know, I’ve never seen anyone post in shorthand before.

Hey, Sub? Was this the clue about the Markov?

Markov processes can also be used to generate superficially “real-looking” text given a sample document: they are used in a variety of recreational “parody generator” software (see dissociated press, Jeff Harrison [1], Mark V Shaney[20][21] ).

Well, Leviticus says you shall not lie with a male as with a female.

Gosh, this is so, so true! I mean, I would never “lie” to my bros like I lie to my hos. That’s just good old common sense, Mr. Leviticus.

I would never “lie” to my bros like I lie to my hos.

Really?

So it really IS fourteen inches???

(see dissociated press, Jeff Harrison [1], Mark V Shaney[20][21] ).

That would seem to be the right catch.

Try here for instance:

http://www.haykranen.nl/projects/markov/demo/

And throw in text from here:

http://houseofsubstance.blogspot.com/2010/04/presidential-material.html

I suppose it won’t be long until the “down your throat” metaphor morphs into the “up your bum” metaphor, but in the meantime we’ll have to be content with our ‘nutters publicly outing themselves with the metaphors they have, not the innocuous metaphors they wish they were clever enough to formulate.

F’zd.

OMG. I don’t even know what his point is. First it’s all “there’s nothing wrnog about teh ghey” and then it’s all “OMG. Don’t even try and pretend it’s normal.”

Seems you know what his point is after all.

I was just saying to myself…

I figure my comment above will do for about the next three months.

Seriously though, I’ll try to get my ass in gear.

I used:

Because the Bible says that homosexuals are an abomination, it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, the media proves that it wants to make your children gay.

And got:

those abs bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, it wants to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, the media proves that homosexuals are an abomination, the Bible says that it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, the Bible says that homosexuals are an abominations. In fact, by ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, it wants to make your children gay.

id Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, it wants to make your children gay.

on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, the question, the media proves that it was bigoted for David Gregory to asking the Bible says that it wants to make your children gay.

bominations. In fact, by ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, the media proves that homosexuals are an abominations. In fact, by ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, it wants to make your children gay.

was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, the question, the media proves that homosexuals are an abomination, the question, the media proves that homosexuals are an abominations. In fact, by asking the media proves that it wants to make your children gay.

David Gregory to asking the questions. In fact, by asking the question, it wants to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, the media proves that homosexuals are an abominations. In fact, by asking the question, it wants to make your children gay.

e question, the questions. In fact, by asking the question, it wants to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, the question, the media proves that homosexuals are an abominations. In fact, by asking the media proves that it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abomination, the questions. In fact, by asking the question, it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the Bible says that it wants to make your children gay.

OMG. I don’t even know what his point is. First it’s all “there’s nothing wrnog about teh ghey” and then it’s all “OMG. Don’t even try and pretend it’s normal.”

Hmm. Yes. He almost sounds, what’s the word… conflicted about it.

He almost sounds, what’s the word… conflicted self-hating about it.

Fixed!

I think someone’s playing with a Markov chaining device like the JanusNode. Fortunately, BADGERS.

I like this part:

how cute my wife will give you saw?

Oooh, I’m dying to know what “saw” is.

The “up your arse” line had a successful pilot last year when Obamacare was constantly being compared to suppositories.

There was also a weeks-long obsession with something being called “anal poisoning,” but I never quite caught what was being pitched, there.
.

If you are wondering who that homosexual family member might be or how exactly Lloyd might “love very much” his homosexual friends, then you’ve obviously never heard Lloyd speak.

When Lloyd heard “Tea Party”, he showed up thinking it would be this sort of thing– he stuck around when he found that he could make money by acting as a “beard” to let T.P.ers play at not being racists.

Pastor Swank is pretty good Markov chain material but he throws in a lotta quotes that break up the flow.

I’ve pointed this out before, but I always knew Lloyd Marcus reminded me of someone…but it was only recently that I figured out that who he reminded me of was Ben Vereen as Chicken George in Roots.

I’ll do you all a prop and not post the link to Marcus’ Sarah Palin tribute.

who he reminded me of was Ben Vereen as Chicken George in Roots.

YES.

i feel like this sort of Janus Node in picture form.

Jeez, and to think I thought I was coming down with strep throat. Silly me, that sore feeling when I swallowed was just that goddamn gay agenda being shoved down my throat.

Wait…WTF is this so-called gay agenda? And where can I sign up?

Totally. If you figure it out, let me know. I mean, I’m not part of the gay agenda, but I am gay agenda-curious…

Well duh, you put it in the bum.

Meh. Who would want to have sex with Adam Dunn?

THE GAY AGENDA!

I’m not part of the gay agenda, but I am gay agenda-curious…

You should start slow. Take courses off the gay curriculum at your local community college or adult education center, then work your way up to matriculating in any number of gay majors. You even even graduate cum laudly!

Most of the gays I know have agendas…but they all call them “day-runners” or “blackberrys” or the like.

“Agenda” is such an old-fashioned word, isn’t it?

GAY AVENGA!

What is that clip from? It seems to be like a 3rd-grade show and tell, but at a home for old codgers. “Today, children, we get to talk to a real, live, Negro from the ‘hood.”

“who he reminded me of was Ben Vereen as Chicken George in Roots.

No, no, I think we have to go back further for the right stereotype.

I think Lloyd looks more like this guy…

You should start slow. Take courses off the gay curriculum at your local community college or adult education center, then work your way up to matriculating in any number of gay majors. You even even graduate cum laudly!

Will I be required to make a speech? Or have they already figured out I’ll have the gay agenda too far down my throat to enunciate clearly?

I think Lloyd looks more like this guy…

I gotta go you one better here

Or have they already figured out I’ll have the gay agenda too far down my throat to enunciate clearly?

You’ll receive training in how to talk around that obstacle.

Wait. Also too, isn’t all that Leviticus stuff all about some sort of deal that God was offering? That we had to do (or rather not do) all this stuff in exchange for teh Land of Canaan? Well, where’s all teh milky honeys*? That’s teh dealie-o Deity-o, no promised land, no refraining from uncovering teh nakednesses and Molech seedings.

*Apologies for teh misogyny, but thems were teh bibblical times. Also too, milky honeys? w00t!

You’ll receive training in how to talk around that obstacle.

With extra-curricular practice sessions? I mean, I’m not usually a fan of courses with lab modules or excessive homework, but this is definitely a field of study that interests me greatly…

Also too, milky honeys?

And the MILFy honeys, like your mom. Only not so honeyish.

Also moar GILFyish. Or Gefiltefishy….

I’m behind because I was watching an MST3K episode, so I’ll just answer a question posed to me in the last thread before catching up with this one.

Fenwick:

Spearhafoc: And how did ‘lil Dudeskull turn out? Will VS and Mr. Slayer’s wonderful parenting help shape him into an exceptional, mult-talented person with intelligence, humor, and compassion for others? Or will he be a politician?

I’m afraid those qualities are moot. There is no intelligence, humour or compassion in my world. The only thing that matters is the war against those damn toasters.

By toasters, I don’t mean a slang term for robots like on your “Battlestar Galactica” programme, I mean literal toasters. We never should have designed them with self-awareness.

When will people like Lloyd Marcus stop ramming their Negro agenda down our throats? Clearly there’s FAR too much negritude on TV! 😉

With extra-curricular practice sessions?

There’s an entire speech therapy course that meets on the Castro every Friday evening.

There’s an entire speech therapy course that meets on the Castro every Friday evening.

Oh, good. Will I be assigned to a particular study group, or is it first come, first served?

I’m behind because I was watching an MST3K episode

oooooh! Which one?

Oh, good. Will I be assigned to a particular study group, or is it first come, first served?

It’s a semenar, so its open.

I’m so confused. And that video… yikes.

Also abominations according to Leviticus 18: Abraham and Sarah’s marriage and Jacob’s marriages to Rachel and Leah. Having sex with a married neighbor is also listed(and before the homosex, even).

Having sex with a married neighbor is also listed(and before the homosex, even).

So much for my date this Friday….I guess I could go to the gay bar.

I mean, place where all the sailors hang out.

Also abominations according to Leviticus 18

I get the impression that this darned book could have used a good editor to take care of the details and fact-checking and such.

oooooh! Which one?

The Human Duplicators.

It’s a semenar, so its open.

Hey, I asked about the structure of the course, not the part where the gay agenda gets shoved…

Hey, I asked about the structure of the course, not the part where the gay agenda gets shoved…

There IS a practical exam.

Or procticol….

Abomination according to Leviticus 19, wearing garments of mixed fibres.

or is it first come, first served?

I believe it’s the other way around.

Abomination according to Leviticus 19, wearing garments of mixed fibres.

Yeah but you NEVER see anybody bitching about the mixed fiber agenda being shoved down their throat. I guess because it’s silky AND strong.

Homosexual Agenda:

6:00 am – Wake up to raging woodie after dreaming of a mutual “happy ending” massage with that dishy buff kid from Twilight

7:00 to 7:45 am – Pilates

8:00 to 11:00 am – Meeting with other members of Socialist Gay Homo Abortionist Pro-Obama Radicals, LLC to discuss FEMA homo reeducation camps. Wish list: which celebrity prisoners we’d place in our respective “Joy Divisions.” Most popular choices: Texas Gov. Rick Perry and Tom Brady. Least likely: Russell Brand (EWWWWW!).

12:00 am – Lunch daisy chain at Biff’s loft. BYOB and pot luck.

1:00 – 3:00 pm – Guest lecturer Michelangelo Signorile speaks about placing subliminal gay messages in Berenstain Bears cartoons to indoctrinate American children into gay agenda: “Papa Bear always swallows his man’s pimp juice.”

4:00 pm to 2:00 am – Disco Party and Bareback Extravaganza, bitches, oh, snap!

Yeah but you NEVER see anybody bitching about the mixed fiber agenda being shoved down their throat.

Or fields planted with multiple seeds*. So if hybridized plant species are abomination – OMG Banana’s are abomination!

*Unless this is a prohibition on sloppy seconds.

According to the Westboro Baptist Idiots, God hates fags. According to the Bible, Jesus does not.

*Unless this is a prohibition on sloppy seconds.

A yourmomination?

*Unless this is a prohibition on sloppy seconds.

No such thing at yer mom’s place.

DAMMIT HOGEYE

Also note that Lloyd includes in his rant a dig at “illegals”. What does Leviticus have to say about “illegals”?

The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the LORD your God.

Opposing immigration, even teh “illegal” kind violates teh statutes and judgments of teh LORD your God.

Whoops, pretend I closed taht blockquote.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 31, 2011 at 21:30

Canaan is in Connecticut.
~

Canaan is in Connecticut.

Hm, I always thought they were talking about Canadians.

OMG Banana’s are abomination!

That whole “the banana proves God exists” thing just cracks me up. I would like see someone do a rebuttal video on how “the coconut proves God hates us and wants us dead”. After all the coconut has all that good edible stuff inside but it is nearly impossible to get at. However, the coconut grows on very tall thin trees and is the perfect size and weight for cracking open human skulls when it falls from that height.

I await your YouTube video, Thread Bear. Just be sure to disallow comments.

PURSE

I can’t count the number of teevee cooking programs featuring homosexual couples.

If it’s not Martha Stewart’s Living for Dykes, it’s Gordon Ramsey’s Gourmet Ass-Play. And don’t get me started on Top and Bottom Chef.

Lloyd’s a barbarian, he needs to be disciplined.

For bonus points, look up what old Lev (or whoever it was) says about abortion. The punishment, AIR, for causing another man’s wife to miscarry is a fine.

Some militant atheist at one of those militant atheist sites I frequently miltantly atheist gay visit, posted something that completely turned me around on posting the ten commandments in public. I now it’s a good idea, with the proviso that the punishments also be displayed right beside each.

I will back up your coconut with malaria, mosquitoes, leeches, jellyfish, poison ivy, cobras, libertarians, ebola, tuna salad, man eating sharks, bee stings, sunburn, AIDS, and network television are also good arguments that god wants us to suffer and then die.

“tuna salad”

Hey now.

Why would anyone go to Kanaan in the first place? Best he’s ever finished at Indy is third, FER chrissake.

David Attenborough chimed in.

I often get letters, quite frequently, from people who say how they like the programmes a lot, but I never give credit to the almighty power that created nature. To which I reply and say, “Well, it’s funny that the people, when they say that this is evidence of the Almighty, always quote beautiful things. They always quote orchids and hummingbirds and butterflies and roses.” But I always have to think too of a little boy sitting on the banks of a river in west Africa who has a worm boring through his eyeball, turning him blind before he’s five years old. And I reply and say, “Well, presumably the God you speak about created the worm as well,” and now, I find that baffling to credit a merciful God with that action. And therefore it seems to me safer to show things that I know to be truth, truthful and factual, and allow people to make up their own minds about the moralities of this thing, or indeed the theology of this thing.

I think this and this are the only appropriate responses to not-at-all-well-maybe-just-a-little-ok-yes-very-very-gay Lloyd.

Also, he stole Michele’s Bachmann’s second “L” — he should give it back.

I blame WordPress for teh extra apostrophe and s.

So I got out of the boat, and saw this shiny bit from Warner Todd Huston about Obama’s Uncle: August 30, 2011
Obama’s illegal alien uncle busted for drunk driving, hits police car, media silent

Kerry Picket had an interesting report in the Washington Times on the 28th. Apparently President Obama’s uncle Omar, an illegal alien living in Massachusetts, was arrested for drunk driving after smashing into a police car in Framingham.

Picket also reports that the 67-year-old uncle Omar tried to, or at least wanted to, call the White House to get Barack’s help with the charges after he was arrested.

Picket writes, “I spoke to Framingham Public Information Officer Lieutenant Delaney who told me that when Onyango Obama was asked at booking if he wanted to make a telephone call to arrange for bail, the Kenyan immigrant replied: ‘I think I will call the White House.'”

The president’s uncle, O. Onyango Obama, was mentioned in his book “Dreams From My Father” where Barack says that uncle Omar moved to the USA “25 years ago and never came back.” He’s been here for decades, living illegally the whole time.

It seems that uncle Omar’s time has run out, though. He’s now being held on an ICE warrant. Let’s see if he gets deported.

Now, one would think it would be big news that President Obama’s illegal alien uncle was arrested for drunk driving and is now being held for possible deportation. But few mentions of the incident have made “the news.” Worse, even many of the ones that did mention it never mention that this is President Obama’s uncle!

The original story in the MetroWest Daily News does not mention the president’s connection to uncle Omar. Even Boston-based talker Michael Graham missed that this was the prez’s uncle and so did The National Review. Besides Picket, at least Howie Carr mentions the connection, though.

I mean, imagine if President Bush had had a relative that was an illegal alien — say from Mexico, or something — that was arrested for drunk driving and damaging a police vehicle? Don’t you rather think that the Old Media would make this story numero uno for days? So, why have the big newsies ignored this story? I wish I could say.

.

Diane Chitwood Herring · Jonesboro Senior High School, Class of ’66
Thank you, Mr. Marcus, for this intelligent dissertation of David Gregory’s verbal assault on Mrs. Bachman. He is despicable!

Jonesboro High School, where the learning goes to die.
.

Numbers 5 11-28 shorter: “If you think your wife has been unfaithful, take her to the preist and he will give her an abortive to drink.” This is the only time the Bible actually talks about abortion and it sounds to me this is condoning the practice rather than condemming it.

I mean, imagine if President Bush had had a relative that was an illegal alien — say from Mexico, or something — that was arrested for drunk driving and damaging a police vehicle? Don’t you rather think that the Old Media would make this story numero uno for days?

Yeah, just imagine if Bush had a relative, say a wife, who ran someone over and killed him… the media would have blathered on about it for months!

And what difference would it make if they had?

Well, that and the “causing a miscarriage” I mentioned above for which the punishment is a fine. I’m no bibble expert but I think that covers the entire topic between the two of them.

Why only five badgers?
.

I am the red shoe.

Heh, I read your diaries.

The Red Shoes was a really good movie.

They are the Five Badgers of Sadly: Gavin, Brad, HTML, Seb, and Tintin.

Even home improvement and cooking TV programs feature a high number of homosexual couples disproportionate to the population. Clearly, many TV producers have an agenda to normalize the homosexual lifestyle.

this

i know it’s been done before, but i don’t think there can be anything that would make this “normal”

“Heh, I read your diaries.”

Yep, and you watch Cinemax for the articles.

They are the Five Badgers of Sadly: Gavin, Brad, HTML, Seb, and Tintin.

There should be 12 badgers and two mushrooms. And a snake.
.

Poor Travis. And Jillian.

And D.A. Boo hoo.

I will back up your coconut with malaria, mosquitoes, leeches, jellyfish, poison ivy, cobras, libertarians, ebola, tuna salad, man eating sharks, bee stings, sunburn, AIDS, and network television are also good arguments that god wants us to suffer and then die.

Drug resistant flesh eating bacteria.

Drug resistant flesh eating bacteria.

I blame Darwin for inventing evolution. He should have stuck to inventing Australian towns.

But few mentions of the incident have made “the news.” Worse, even many of the ones that did mention it never mention that this is President Obama’s uncle!

Maybe it’s because it’s local news here, but I swear to glod it’s been mentioned every fucking hour on the radio. And every damn one mentioned he was Obama’s uncle. So, DUELING ANECDOTES!

I blame Darwin for inventing evolution. He should have stuck to inventing Australian towns.

Sydney Melbourne Darwin was a man for two seasons.

He should have stuck to inventing Australian towns.

And also black characters who get killed off first in X-Men movies.

Spearhafoc, who is actually Dudeskull from the future

Say hi to your mom for me.

I blame Darwin for inventing evolution. He should have stuck to inventing Australian towns.

God smote those antipodean antitheists for Darwin’s sinfulness.

Sydney Melbourne Darwin was a man for two seasons.

Both of them ass-backwards.

Jonesboro High School, where the learning goes to die.

Drinking in the learning.

Chyron HR said,
August 31, 2011 at 20:41

Liberal Media Forces Homosexuality Agenda Down America’s Throat

Sticks Nix Dick Licks

Magnificent.

Both of them ass-backwards.

wouldn’t that be bass-ackwards?

And also black characters who get killed off first in X-Men movies.

Which was bizarre, given that he handles everything thrown at him in the comic books. I seem to recall him turning into a sponge when attacked by some brain-zapping device that knocked out every other mutant on the place – the guy’s got serious game.

and when the nzi’s discover that a genuine copy of classic literature has been produced and sold, they break into homes, and replace the books with another copy,

Those fiends, breaking into my place, stealing my books, and replacing them with exact replicas! THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND!!!

I seem to recall him turning into a sponge when attacked by some brain-zapping device that knocked out every other mutant on the place

So, this guy’s superpower is being able to change into any creature on the “tree of life”? Does this include extinct forms, like Cotylorhynchus?

PURSE #2

Well, Leviticus says you shall not lie with a male as with a female.

I understood that to be a prohibition on stealing all the duvet to your side of the bed.

I mean, imagine if President Bush had had a relative that was an illegal alien — say from Mexico, or something — that was arrested for drunk driving and damaging a police vehicle? Don’t you rather think that the Old Media would make this story numero uno for days?

We don’t have to imagine, because fortunately, Bush was a do-it-yourselfer, as in he did the drinking, he did the driving, he did the wrecking hisownself, rather than outsourcing it to an illegal immigrant, even one who was a family relation.

As for thinking the Old Media would make that story numero uno for days, again, fortunately, we don’t have to guess. We can go back and look at the record and see that in many quarters, it was *crickets* – not just after a day or two, but from the get-go.

There was also a weeks-long obsession with something being called “anal poisoning,”

Shirley you are thinking of the Death Peniles.

Butt pirates, most likely.

And also black characters who get killed off first in X-Men movies.

I don’t know what Hollywood’s thinking when they do that. It’s become such a widely discussed joke, you’d think they’d give it a rest just to avoid redundancy.

First Class = good movie, though, my favorite of the summer.

Which was bizarre, given that he handles everything thrown at him in the comic books.

Not an X-Men fan myself, so I wouldn’t know. In the movie, his power was that he can adapt to survive anything, and yet he gets killed off first? And the other black member of the team goes evil?

I liked First Class quite a bit, but it had serious racial issues (especially for something that’s supposed to be a parable about bigotry).

small romantic gifts with big sentimental value

sentimental for the kangaroo, i’m assuming…

So, this guy’s superpower is being able to change into any creature on the “tree of life”? Does this include extinct forms, like Cotylorhynchus?

Obstensibly, yes. The power is a reflex action; he’s not going WonderTwin and thinking “Yeah, form of a stegosaurus!”. So if his lizard brain thinks a Cotylorhynchus, then that’s what he’ll be. Now that’s probably not a first tier choice, but ya never know.

He’s not even limited to existing biological forms – he’s mutated to a heat-resistant humanoid form a couple of times when circumstances require. It provides an excellent platform for crafty enemies to try to come up with adaptation proof traps.

So, this guy’s superpower is being able to change into any creature on the “tree of life”? Does this include extinct forms, like Cotylorhynchus?

He’s not even limited to existing biological forms – he’s mutated to a heat-resistant humanoid form a couple of times when circumstances require. It provides an excellent platform for crafty enemies to try to come up with adaptation proof traps.

That is incredibly awesome.

I’d never heard of the character before, but this is yet another one of these times when I look at what could have been and go “what was Hollywood thinking!?!“

Shit’s gettin’ a little shopworn up in this bitch.

Shit’s gettin’ a little shopworn up in this bitch.

You’re telling me!

KFC is finger food, no forks necessary.

It also includes a certain amount of human fingers in every bucket.

Shit’s gettin’ a little shopworn…

Are you saying our postings are plane?

Saw right for you, you don’t have to think up new ways to say the same thing.

Pulling the andon cord
Pulling andon’s leg
Yanking andon’s chain

Including human fingers in the bucket.

Eh?

One time, at band camp, the media put a flute in my vagina.

Kurt Cobain is alive, the men in black staged his murder. Jennifer didn’t know. And he put another Jennifer in the trunk at the foot of the bed. Jennifer was trapped in there once too. Kurt Cobain, yer a vaccuum.

Here’s my drawing of a Man in Black.

Not to be confused with Johnny Cash.

Fingering the bucket

They are the Five Badgers of Sadly: Gavin, Brad, HTML, Seb, and Tintin.

*raising hand*

Six? I know I don’t post as often as I used to, but c’mon…

ZOMG

I just played a tiny fraction of that video, and my gaydar reacted so violently it threw me out of my chair.

*sigh*

Now I have to take it to the shop for an alignment…

again…

They are the Five Badgers of Sadly: Gavin, Brad, HTML, Seb, and Tintin.

No-one ever mentions Mister Leonard Pierce, “the sixth Badger”.
Jillian also.

no forks necessary.

duh…that’s why they only have sporks…

Are you saying our postings are plane?

The jig is up!

whenever i think of lloyd marcus (which i guarantee is virtually never, or only when tintin unearths him), i always think of this

The jig is up!
No need to fret, Pupienus.

I’m sure you will cope.

I’m sure you will cope.

Don’t be such a hack.

I’m going home to get hammered.

On the level, it’s like if you all can’t tap into a pun thread you’d die. A little warning next time, please: the rest of us need to brace ourselves, it’s always a bit of a wrench.

Don’t be such a hack.

better lathe than never!

On the level, it’s like if you all can’t tap into a pun thread you’d die. A little warning next time, please: the rest of us need to brace ourselves, it’s always a bit of a wrench.

who wants a biscuit?

Trolls can be such saw losers when they are band.

Don’t the corporations have all the tools?

A little warning next time, please: the rest of us need to brace ourselves, it’s always a bit of a wrench.

you could just scroll by them.

No need to fret, Pupienus.

smut took me to the tool shed.

smut took me to the tool shed.

And did he nail you?

smut took me to the tool shed.

well, he is a bit of a rake…

As one cartwheel said to the other, some spokeshave all the luck.

Ok–how in the fuck do you pick out ripe avacados?

I’ve been inspired. I bought a rice cooker today–no more of that instant shit for the tsam. Also committed to a program to help assholes not refer to themselves in the third person, but that’s a whole different issue.

But I want to make my own guacamole because well, guacamole is like a small piece of love right in yo mouf. I’m going to start trying to eat better food. Hopefully I survive my own cooking experiments.

Ripe avocados have a dark skin and are a little soft.

Excellent. Thank you.

a small piece of love right in yo mouf

Do not shove that cholesterol-laden ick down mah throat!

Poor, poor tsam. The Emperor will help you.

There are two kinds of avocado, Haas and some other thing that we rarely see. If you see some ginormous avocado looking thing run far far away. ‘Round these parts they are usually sold as small or large. Same damn thing except for size. If yoU want guacamole tonight, you need to look at the dark, nearly black beasts. Feel that bitch – you want firm but pliable flesh (please stop with the innuendo already). Just a little bit of give but NOT MUSHY. Mushy is bad. BAD BAD BAD. Bad mushy. If you are shopping ahead then just find a typical, non-bruised all to hell example. Leave it on your counter for a couple days – it will ripen nicely.

basic guac: using your very sharp knife, slice around The long axis, skimming the seed. Twist the two halves apart. Hold the half with the seed in your cupped calm and (gently) slam your very sharp knife into the seed. Twist. The seed comes right out. To dispose of the seed hold your very sharp knife over the intended waste receptacle, squeeze with your thumb and forefinger against the base of the seed and it will pop right off, bob’s your uncle. A sick fuck, your uncle Bob, but there it is.

Now it gets fun. Or not, it’s all up to you. For sliced avocado, take a tablespoon (NOT a measuring type tablespoon but a regular old soup/table spoon and scoop out the flesh, then slice that shit up. If you want diced avocado you take your smaller, but still very sharp, knife and again holding the avocado half in your slightly cupped palm carefully slice through the flesh bit not your hand, on the diagonal and then back at the other way normal to your initial slicing. Once again you take a largish spon and scoop out the fatty, unctuous, delicious fruit flesh. (GAWDAMMIT I SAID STOP WITH THE SEXUAL INUENDOS ALREADY).

Now where was I? Right, basic guac. For basic guac don’t slice at all, just scoop out the flesh with a spoon, into a smallish bowl. Add a copious squeeze of fresh lime and a judicious pinch of kosher salt. Mash that shit up with a fork. Voila, basic guac. Bacon crumbles, diced tomato, minced cilantro, all kinda shit can be added as one pleases. Hell, you could mix in some Pace picante sauce if you want, and sometimes I have.

I won’t berate you for the rice cooker though I never saw the point of them. Instant rice sucks gigantic putty balls.

NEEEXXXXT!

Pup,you DO ha e a way with words.

Do not shove that cholesterol-laden ick down mah throat!

Which orifice would you like your ick in?

The Emperor will help you.

GOD you give good recipe.

Which orifice would you like your ick in?

My orifices are for ejecting ick, not receiving it.

My orifices are for ejecting ick

You must launder your earmuffs often.

GOD you give good recipe.

i know! i’m going to the grocery store tomorrow with the only purpose of feeling up the avocados…

Curiously, tonight we aren’t having guac. The avos at the store today were expensive and didn’t look so good.

I sliced up a chicken and tossed it into a stew pot with some carrot, celery and quartered onion. Poached the fuck out of it. Diced onion, diced jalapeño, coarsely diced poblano, chopped cilantro, ground coriander, cumin, Mexican oregano and minced garlic go into a bowl. Add the chopped, poached chicken. Since I’m being lazy, I just use a can of verde enchilada sauce – some of them are quite good though not as good as my tomatillo based verde but that takes too fucking much work. Line a baking pan with sauce. Bring more sauce to the simmer in a shallow pan, dredge corn tortillas in and wrap a buncha that chicken mix in there. Cotillo cheese but cheddar, jack, whatever works too. Top with more sauce and cheese and into teh oven.

Buy a pack of corn tortillas for a buck two fifty. Stack some up and slice into wedges. Brig a pot of corn oil (or other basic veg oil) up to temp. It’s ready when you stick the thin end of your wooden spoon in an inch or so and it bubbles. Toss some tortilla slices in (not too many at a time) and stir gently. When the bubbling subsides scoop them out with a slotted spoon to a colander or paper towel lined bowl. Toss immediately with kosher salt. Enjoy with guac.

I’m making my take on Spanish rice, though I caint be arsed to get into the details now.

Refried beans, using canned beans, is another cheate’rs thang that can be very very good when done right.

As I said, no guac for us tonight. I think a composed salad of shreded lettuce, diced tomato, diced red onion, shredded carrot dressed simply with salt, pepper, olive oil and lemon juice will work.

As my mother-not-in-law once said, ask PeeJ for the time and he’ll tell you how to build a clock. Deal with it bitches, that’s the way I roll.

Farmers market swiss chard with onions, sauteed in olive oil. Served with leftover grilled pork tenderlloin, and a pasta salad made with Israeli couscous and pinto beans.

The oil can be reused. Specially iffen it’s corny oil.

I love avocados, but they make me ill.

God hates me.

Did Obama get hit in the fucking head?

As my mother-not-in-law once said, ask PeeJ for the time and he’ll tell you how to build a clock.

Tell a man the time & the bastard will ask you every five mins., show him how to build a clock & he’ll get off your back.

Earmuffs? Q-Tips.

Coffee, several Mrs Freshley’s Swiss Rolls, spaghetti w/ Hunt’s meat flavored sauce. Milk. Water. All meal periods.

…Buy a pack of corn tortillas for a buck two fifty…
A better band name than Thwarted by Cats and/or Carts: A Buck Two Fifty.

My orifices are for ejecting ick, not receiving it.

Must have a big ick.

Ejecting the ick.

It’s not the size of the ick that matters.

Last night, I had the most delicious ziti. I pre-heated the oven to 350. I carefully removed the plastic top and slid the ziti into the oven. Thirty minutes later, I removed the ziti from the oven, remembered to turn the oven off, popped the top of a Dos XX and enjoyed the best ziti I have ever eaten. Thank you, Central Market!

Must have a big ick.
actor212 writes unusually demanding Personal advertisements.

“Liberal Media Forces Homosexuality Agenda Down America’s Throat.”

Two words: You. Wish.

Personally, I wouldn’t shove my homosexual agenda down that troglodyte’s throat if he offered me $100.

Personally, I wouldn’t shove my homosexual agenda down that troglodyte’s throat if he offered me $100.

Make it $150 and we have a deal.

Must have a big ick.

The ick is rich in protein. So, it’s technically a health food.

Coffee, several Mrs Freshley’s Swiss Rolls, spaghetti w/ Hunt’s meat flavored sauce. Milk. Water. All meal periods.
and
Last night, I had the most delicious ziti. I pre-heated the oven to 350. I carefully removed the plastic top and slid the ziti into the oven. Thirty minutes later, I removed the ziti from the oven, remembered to turn the oven off, popped the top of a Dos XX and enjoyed the best ziti I have ever eaten. Thank you, Central Market!

you guys make me feel like less of a phood philistine…thank you! last night we had probably the last of the fresh sweet corn, grilled hamburger steaks and leftover poop potatoes…

In unrelated but very newsworthy news…

Billo asked cops to investigate falafel home-deliveries to Mrs O’Reilly.

leftover poop

Stale shit?

Billo asked cops to investigate falafel home-deliveries to Mrs O’Reilly.

As a Long Islander, it’s pretty spectacular how quiet this has been. Well, actually not really. I live minutes from Centre Island, which if you don’t click the link is the home to shit heads like Rupert Murdoch and Sean Hannity. Anyway, it is nice to see the NCPD doing some kind of police work rather than just hanging out in parking lots of closed beaches.

Personal note: I’ve passed Hannity while driving and gave him the double bird.

re: X-Men: Privileged Class

Related.

Anyway, it is nice to see the NCPD doing some kind of police work

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but investigating a colleague who possibly bedded Mrs Billo is not what police work used to be. Or maybe I’m not old-fashioned enough, back when teh married wimmenz was property you see why this could be seen as, I dunno, breaking and entering.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but investigating a colleague who possibly bedded Mrs Billo is not what police work used to be.

I think you’re just a bit jealous of not having an entire police force at your disposal. I sure am. I could use an escort.

zomg!!! the weather channel is forcing teh ghey agenda down my throat! i just saw an ad with mike bettes and another sexy dood wearing a deep v, tight t-shirt as me to ‘upload’ good people…i think we all know what that means…also, too…they were standing kind of close together…

Personal note: I’ve passed Hannity while driving and gave him the double bird.

Esteev, you’re pretty. Also, that’s a triple if you count the admonishment on the shirt.

tsam, I was reading upthread about your food stuff, and I wanted to recommend a couple of resources for you.

This is where you can find stuff that’s healthy, yummy, doesn’t have a bazillion and ingredients (or unreasonably exotic ones) and that’s fairly quick and easy to make:

Great Food Fast

Healthy Quick Cook

Great Easy Meals

And here’s a pasta cookbook filled with sauces that you’re supposed to be able to make up while the pasta cooks, so meals take, like, no time at all. Also, they’re really tasty. Some of them are even uncooked sauces, so you can just throw the pasta in the with the ingredients and you’re done. It’s pretty awesome.
While the Pasta Cooks

Finally, here’s my favorite cooking magazine, because I think the recipes are superb. Sophisticated but simple.
Fine Cooking

Also, I am vacuumslayer. Duggar #18 doesn’t eat anything but deep-fried Spam and mayo on donut sammiches.

Duggar #18 doesn’t eat anything but deep-fried Spam and mayo on donut sammiches.

this is assuming there is any food leftover for duggar #18…

also, too…awesome links…

Thanks, bbkf! I love those books and think they’re perfect for home cooks. What’s great about the first one, especially, is that as you get more confident as a cook, you can improv and amp up the recipes with your own gastronomical flourishes. Most of the recipes in Great Food Fast don’t have many more than 7 ingredients. It’s just great, simple healthy food that’s not boring.

The next time some rich bugger whines about taxes we should remind them of what they get for thier money. Having your own private police force is not cheap you know. And, of course, the big ticket item – a military that can and will go anywhere in the world to secure natural resources and/or a chaep labor pool for your own private use. No other government in the world can offer you one that’s any where near as effective and far reaching as the American military. In a true free market that would be worth far more than te rich folk are paying now.

Everybody must be in the kitchen.

Everybody must get a pizza stone.

I have been known to get a pizza when I’m stoned

Ive never gotten a pizza stoned.

I would not feel so all alone, every pizza must get stoned

I have been known to get stoned when I have pizza.

tsam, I was reading upthread about your food stuff, and I wanted to recommend a couple of resources for you.

Thank you!

Pizza is the Jew of Liberal stoners. Put ’em right in the oven, we do.

Yay! I just got a lightly used racing exhaust for my Ducati sport 1000s! Yay slightly more power. Yay more and better noise! Yay getting rid of hideous stock exhaust.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled snark and puns.

You’ll put an eye out, Kid!

He does go on andon, doesn’t he?

Thanks, bbkf! I love those books and think they’re perfect for home cooks. What’s great about the first one, especially, is that as you get more confident as a cook, you can improv and amp up the recipes with your own gastronomical flourishes. Most of the recipes in Great Food Fast don’t have many more than 7 ingredients. It’s just great, simple healthy food that’s not boring.

i’m pretty confident as a cook, it’s just finding the time and/or motivation (2 jobs and other commitments) to do it…not to mention lack of access to quality and/or imported and/or hard to get ingredients…but the simple, healthy and not boring is what i’m after!

Everybody must be in the kitchen.

has anybody seen ‘bitchin’ kitchen’? it’s ‘different’…

and three helpings of lavender and tilleul infused crème brulée

Do I have to be gay for that, cuz you know, whatever it takes…

Boring copypasta troll is BORING.

Also annoying too. Shopworn if you will.

Shopworn and all tattered around the edges. And apparently a huge fan of hallucinogenics.

Shopworn and all tattered around the edges. And apparently a huge fan of hallucinogenics

i always think of andon as a girl, and even though lloyd and marcus bachmann would make a lovely couple, i have a feeling that andon and lloyd could rub elbows and exchange doe-eyes and live happily ever after in their world of rampant delusion and rambling…

Huh. I always though of andon as a Janusnode script that had been fed only the finest delusional paranoid fantasies as fodder.

Androgyon is apparently performing a psychedelic mashup of “Magical Mystery Tour” and Leonard Cohen’s “The Partisan”, with just a dash of William Borroughs tossed in.

Helmut, you’ll also lighten the bike by 20 pounds. Veddy important, that.

Androgyon is apparently performing a psychedelic mashup of “Magical Mystery Tour”badger and Leonard Cohen’s “The Partisan”badger, with just a dash of William Borroughsbadger tossed in.

FYT.
.

Your honor, counsel is badgering the witless!

Ah, you lucky folks who can watch badgers cavort (to say nothing of all those videos y’all link to). Here at work TPTB refuse such small respites to us… [sniffle]

Helmut, you’ll also lighten the bike by 20 pounds. Veddy important, that.
Well, they’re only slip-ons, it’s not a full system, and while the old cans were steel the new ones are aluminum, and I am leaving the baffles in, I expect the weight savings will be more like 5 pounds than 20.

Just made a pot of tomater sauce, gonna make eggplant parmigiana in the next couple of days.

eggplant parmigiana

YUMMMMM…. One of my absolute favorites. Do you bake or fry the eggplant?

Anyone remember Rush Limbaugh’s macho, macho decorated Manhattan condo he sold just a while back?

Rush Limbaugh’s 5th Avenue New York apartment has found a buyer despite being decorated like a 17th century French whorehouse. And Rush made a bundle to boot even in the depressed real estate market.

He put it on the market for a cool $14 million, and sold it for $11.5 million, according to the Wall Street Journal. But don’t weep for Limbaugh; he only paid $5 million for it in 1994. But he must have sunk a bundle into that decor.

In what can only be described as Renaissance over-indulgence, the posh full-floor apartment includes 10 rooms sprawling over 5,000 square feet decorated in a lavish French Renaissance style.

It has four terraces, two of which overlook Central Park, and bedrooms that have gaudy hand-painted murals and trompe l’oeil ceilings.

It features Fortuny upholstered walls and a hand-cut Italian marble foyer. The wall and ceiling murals are by artist Richard Smith.

The pad is ostentatious even by Manhattan standards.

The prime pre-war property has a double living room, a wood-paneled library and enormous bathrooms fit for an orgy, or entertaining high-priced hookers.

Let them eat Oxycontin!

Yeah, I saw it. It was just unbelievably, remarkably, poke-bleach-in-your-eyes tacky, which is inexcusable, because when you’re that rich you don’t have to have good taste; you can pay someone (interior designers) to have it for you.

enormous bathrooms fit for an orgy

Ouch. Moar soft surfaces, please.

And here’s a pasta cookbook filled with sauces that you’re supposed to be able to make up while the pasta cooks, so meals take, like, no time at all. Also, they’re really tasty. Some of them are even uncooked sauces, so you can just throw the pasta in the with the ingredients and you’re done. It’s pretty awesome.
While the Pasta Cooks

I do that all the time! Didn’t know there’s a book — while you’re waiting for the amazon order to arrive, here’s one I did yesterday/last night (I’m not the gourmet PeeJ is, but whatevs):

In the morning, pull the one-pound butcher-pack of local frozen organic grass-fed beef from the freezer and throw it in the fridge to thaw. Yes, if you’re a total heathen you could use some inferior mass-produced-by-the-evil-food-inc beef, or even turkey burger if you only eat dinosaurs or something.

When you get home after work or shoving the gay agenda down Lloyd’s throat or whatever the fuck you did all day, crack open a bottle of decent red wine, pour yourself a glass.

Fill a pot with a bunch of water. Throw some salt in. Put on the lid. Put it on the stove and crank the burner up.

Throw the beef in a skillet, turn on the heat and break it up into whatever size chunks you like and brown it. (I like to use a “high-sided/deep” skillet frying/pan Calphalon thing that I have, as it lets me use one pot, alternately you could use a frying pan and a second pan.)

While the beef is browning, retrieve from the cupboard:

One can diced roasted tomatoes.
One jar roasted yellow/red bell peppers.
One pound box of dry pasta (I used rotini, use whatever you want).

After the beef is browned, empty the can of tomatoes into the beef. Season as you like. Stir. Throw in the peppers.

I seem to never have fresh herbs around, because I suck, so I use the frozen cubes of herbs from Trader Joe’s. Throw as many cubes of basil in as you want. Some garlic too, whatever.

Pour some of the wine in. Pour yourself another glass.

Let it come to a gentle boil, then turn it down and let it simmer. Stir occasionally.

At this point the water should be just about boiling. Cook the pasta.

After the pasta is done, drain it and throw it in the big pot with the beef and sauce. Stir it up. Or just pile up the pasta on a plate and dump some of the sauce on it, your choice. Top with fresh grated parmesan.

You probably want some veggies or a salad or some bread or all of those too. Or not, whatever.

Serve and impress all your lame-ass non-cooking friends. Or eat as much as you want by your lonely-ass-self and throw the rest in the fridge and have another meal or two.

poke-bleach-in-your-eyes tacky

Or “pour.” Whichever.

One of my absolute favorites. Do you bake or fry the eggplant?

I bread it and fry it in olive oil until golden brown, then layer it with a scant amount of tomato sauce (don’t like it soggy) and mozzarella, then throw it in the oven until the cheese melts, and it all comes together.

Who knew that there would be a delicious, juicy mango to be found at the linky about Rush’s digs:

To the anal pore bigot that wrote the above article regarding the sale of Rush Limbaugh’s 5th Avenue apartment. You seriously need to get yourself the professional help your article desperately screams that you are in need of! I have never seen such obnoxious arrogant pusillanimous immature jealousy on display. Does Rush’s extreme financial success irritate you so much that you appear to be loosing your mind over his success. For the record it is you who appears to be the GAY so as to be so obsessed with every aspect of Rush. Also for the record, I notice once again that like all spineless liberal harlots you used a pseudonym to avoid being publicly recognized. Might I suggest you grow up, grow a pair, and get a life!

Sometimes the juiciest mangos are the unexpected ones…

bbkf–

i’m pretty confident as a cook, it’s just finding the time and/or motivation (2 jobs and other commitments) to do it

I wasn’t referring to you, specifically. I don’t know ereebodee’s skill levels here. That was mainly for tsam’s eyes. (Though I’m tickled you read through. Let us know if you make anything from them.)

BBBB, that sounds exactly like what I do. I don’t do it too often though, because I’d just sit down and eat the whole pan alone if allowed to.

To the anal pore bigot

I imagine the author didn’t get a draft deferment due to a butt boil. Funny how the truth slips out sometimes.

I am eating at OBS’s house. (Free wine and pasta!)

you who appears to be the GAY…Might I suggest you …grow a pair

So, he’s encouraging more gay sex?

due to a butt boil. Funny how the truth slips out sometimes.

Lots of things slip out of the goatse guy–HE CAN’T HELP IT!

Jeez, Liberace was a fucking piker compared to Rusty.

vacuumslayer said,

I am eating at OBS’s house. (Free wine and pasta!)

If you drop by this time of year you’ll get the free food/wine/beer, but you’ll also be enlisted to help pick hops. Bring a long-sleeve shirt, those climbing fuckers are scratchy.

it all comes together.

I bet the eggplant is faking it.

Ann Coulter is still alive, if brain-dead:

Amid the hoots at Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry for saying there were “gaps” in the theory of evolution, the strongest evidence for Darwinism presented by these soi-disant rationalists was a 9-year-old boy quoted in The New York Times.

After his mother had pushed him in front of Perry on the campaign trail and made him ask if Perry believed in evolution, the trained seal beamed at his Wicked Witch of the West mother, saying, “Evolution, I think, is correct!”

That’s the most extended discussion of Darwin’s theory to appear in the mainstream media in a quarter-century. More people know the precepts of kabala than know the basic elements of Darwinism.

WC has earned one internet.

More people know the precepts of kabala than know the basic elements of Darwinism.

Well, there’s your problem!

It’s funny how Creationists fetishize Darwin (much like they’re the only ones to refer to Obama as “The One”)- they are authoritarians, so they feel that, by diminishing Darwin the man, they diminish the whole concept of Evolution by Means of Natural Selection. Hell, even calling it “Darwinism” is a distortion. It’s not like “Christianity”- there’s no founder, merely an observer. Evolution could just as easily be termed Wallacism, but for the accidents of history.

More people know the precepts of kabala than know the basic elements of Darwinism.

Is she pretending to have a problem with this? It’s her side’s modus operandi and greatest strength: you don’t need to know fuck all about evolution to say you don’t believe it teach the nontroversy GODDIDIT.

(Though I’m tickled you read through. Let us know if you make anything from them.)

oh i will, sistah! anytime i can make something different and it’s awesome, i am soooooo happy…i tend to get stuck in the midwest meat, potatoes and gravy rut…even though my roasts AND mashed potatoes are the bomb…

That’s the most extended discussion of Darwin’s theory to appear in the mainstream media in a quarter-century. More people know the precepts of kabala than know the basic elements of Darwinism.

She could well be right about the first, and that might be a big part of the problem. The second is a bit of a stretch, but again with the problem thingie. Maybe it’s not “the controversy” what needs to get taught.

Also, too. What the fuck does any of that have to do with the applicability or veracity of evolutionary theory? Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

To Food pr0n obsessed Emperors and beer snobs everywhere, I would like some information about Portland. The little woman and I have nearly decided to move to the Great Northwest and would appreciate as much info as you can provide. We were proceeding with plans to relocate until we sprung the news on the wayward daughter, who, tried her damnedest to put the kibosh on it. You see, she lived there a few years back. Don’t recall her bad-mouthing the place when she was there, but she really did not want us to move there. Methinks she just wants us to live within a few hours drive, but want to be sure. So any information about Portland as a place to live would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

BBBB, that sounds exactly like what I do. I don’t do it too often though, because I’d just sit down and eat the whole pan alone if allowed to.

Don’t I know it! You just can’t keep some things in the house.

Don’t recall her bad-mouthing the place when she was there, but she really did not want us to move there

She’s concerned that a food pr0n loving emperor will force you into a gay marriage, and your wife will be distraught.

even though my roasts AND mashed potatoes are the bomb…

I’m calling Homeland Security!

More people know the precepts of kabala than know the basic elements of Darwinism.

I don’t know the precepts of kabala, but I know the basic elements of evolution. Of the people I know I’m sure there are far more of them that know the basic elements of evolution than know the precepts of kabala. And probably most of those people who know the precepts of kabala also know the basic elements of evolution. Perhaps she meant to say Moor people rather than more people. Nah, I don’t think that would be true either.

Evolution could just as easily be termed Wallacism, but for the accidents of history.

Evolution could be called creation if you really wanted to. Fuck, they rationalize everything else to their own comfort and safety, why not call evolution part of the grand design?

“Perhaps she meant to say Moor people rather than more people”

Keep off the moors………….

@ smedley;

As in Inland Northwest resident, I can tell you myself that both Portland and Seattle have lots to offer in the way of culture and livability. (Portland is really the universally recognized center of culture around here)

My only advice–don’t bother even looking at the Eastern side of either state.

smedley, I’ll defer to teh Emperor on Portland as he actually lives there, but here are my thoughts:

Personally, I love the city and if I was going to live in a “big” city, Portland would be it. In general, the Northwest is damn laid back. I’m always surprised by how “stuffy” the South and East feel when I travel there — everybody seems to always have to get dressed up even just to go to work and stuff. I’m sitting at my desk in shorts and a t-shirt…

There’s obviously lots and lots of great beer, but there are also issues — there’s a substantial homeless population and a ton of heroin. Lots of hipsters too.

There are great neighborhoods and shitty neighborhoods, as you’d expect. Not sure how the housing costs are now, it was pretty damn spendy a few years ago. Here in Corvallis where I am (90 minutes South) prices never dropped significantly in the recession, there was just more availability and it took folks longer to sell.

Outdoor activities (running, hiking, biking, skiing, rafting, boating, etc.) are all readily accessible either in the city or nearby. Prepare for cold wet rainy winters, but great summers (it’s going to be “hot” this weekend — 90 degrees, low humidity, with a nice breeze). The Pacific ocean is about an hour West, if you like the (chilly but uncrowded) beach. Mt. Hood and the Cascade mountains are about an hour East if you’re into the mountains.

Traffic around the city sucks. Mass transit used to be awful, but has gotten lots better since they put the Max trains in.

I’m sure teh Emperor can give you way more info and tell you all about the food/culture options, I haven’t spent enough time in the city recently to comment much more than that.

I made eggyplant parm … I can’t recall exactly, let’s just say “recently”. I usually bread and fry but I was feeling lazy (and probably drunk and high to boot but that’s par for the course) so I took a lead from Mario. He doesn’t say to salt the slices but I always sprinkle with salt and let them drain in a colander for a while then rinse and dry. Baked in a HOT oven in olivio post seasoning until they brown. Made a quick, simple sauce by sautéing diced onion and garlic along with some shredded carrol in olive oyl until soft and fragrant. Dump in a can of San Marzano tomatoes and blitz with the Robin Curtis (immersion blender, the ad for which was her best role). Layer with mozz and fresh basil then back into the oven for a bit. It was very fresh and light, I liked it a lot. Not that I won’t make the fried kind again because that’s also very very good but it was a super nice change of pace.

Evolution could just as easily be termed Wallacism, but for the accidents of history.

We come here with no peaceful intent, but ready for battle, determined to avenge our wrongs and pass on our heritable traits.

I’m sitting at my desk in shorts and a t-shirt…

As am I, but I own this bitch.

Thanks, guys. To get the full winter effect, we plan on spending a week there next January. That should be a good test. I worry that we may be over-reacting to the oven that is Austin this year. I mean, literally, it is cooling off to a high of only 102 today. It hit 112 last Saturday. The impetus of this whole move thing was the indications that this is the “new normal.” I planted several trees in the Spring, and have spent mucho dinero on watering them just to keep them alive. Infrastructure, while necessary, is expensive.

My eggplant parmesan? Uses parmesan. Sprinkled on top of mozzarella for teh browning.

I also salt, rinse, drain in collander – bake in teh oven – flip and bake some moar – add sauce and cheeses and broil to finish. Teh garden tomates are starting to overwhelm – so we’ll probs be having this with fresh sauce. If only I can get teh soil remediated enough for eggplants.

It’s actually salt, drain, rinse, drain, rinse, drain, pat dry. Takes fricking hours. Fortunately, that’s how long saucing teh tomatoes take too.

My only advice–don’t bother even looking at the Eastern side of either state.

My only advice–don’t bother even looking at the Eastern side of either state.

Guh?

smedley, January will be a good test. People that aren’t used to it can be really shocked at just how annoying weeks of 35-45 degrees with constant rain and wind can be. If we didn’t have absolutely amazing summers, it’d be impossible to tolerate. But I don’t think we hit 100 at all this year. We rarely do, and if so it’s only for a day or two.

Oh, and although the East side of the state is populated by right-wingers, it does stay much drier on that side of the mountains. But it’s cold and there’s more snow. The coast is often the warmest place in the winter time, but the constant storms that roll in all winter are downright nasty.

Oh, and although the East side of the state is populated by right-wingers, it does stay much drier on that side of the mountains. But it’s cold and there’s more snow. The coast is often the warmest place in the winter time, but the constant storms that roll in all winter are downright nasty.

Yes, we get that “four season” thing that people like to lie about enjoying. Winters here suck ass. They’re nothing like upper midwestern winters–not even close, but they do suck ass. We haven’t hit 100 over here this year either, but we do hit it once or twice a year, normally.

It’s actually salt, drain, rinse, drain, rinse, drain, pat dry. Takes fricking hours

Another reason not to make the dish too often. I always use at least two eggplants whenever I make it.

To get the full winter effect, we plan on spending a week there next January.

Nevermind that. Spend a November week here. January is cold, gray and nasty, no doubt, but to get the really depressing effect, add steady, nonstop drizzle to the mix. Add a soupcon of 7-1/2 hours of daylight. Season to taste, with, commas.

Yum!

Portland is where young people go to retire. Fucking hipsters. But they are easily avoided for the most part.

Housing prices took a good hit, among the worst in the country but it’s still “big city” prices. One of the things I love about PDX is that it doesn’t feel like a big city, and in truth it isnt that big as cities go, but still it feels more like an enormous small town. Portland has neighborhoods, all with their own character. Theres the hipster laden Hawthorne district where you have to dodge all the fixies when going to the local improvement upon Whole Foods, New Seasons Market. There’s NoPo, among the most recently gentrified districts where young professionals share houses with barista roomates. There are lots of old money hoods and lots of young hip underemployed hoods. We’ve been loving living in South Waterfront, a brown field redevelopment right on the river. Lots of residents and med students from OHSU here along with middle aged professional couples. Being right on the streetcar line is almost magical.

Portland is the current darling of the foodie world. the NYFreakingT regularly gushes over this or that Portland thing. Locavorism is a way of life. The beer is good, as are the wines, and the new microdistillery movement makes me very happy indeed.

Traffic can be a pain but it neednt be – we just don’t drive much. The Ho commutes by bicycle (as do more PDXers than residents of any other US city) and use the streetcar a lot. The MAX light rail has a stop in the airport terminal.

The general mood is to not take anything too seriously, except for those very important things like beer and food. You never hear anyone being told to chill out because everyone is already chill.

It rarely snows and when it does it’s like an inch. It rains all winter long but even then it’s rarely a heavy rain. Pretty much guaranteed to have drizzle from November through April and it will be 95% overcast. It rarely drops below 35 degrees but there are long stretches of LO 36 HI 42 days. The summers more than make up for it.

Check out reddit.com/r/Portland for the FAQ – lots of good info there.

I will say this, smedley. I’ve been all over this nation, and NO part of it compares to the Northwest. The stunning scenery, the odd mix of cultures (on the West side), the ocean, the mountains, the Columbia River…fuck I could gush on for days about how much I love this place. You couldn’t drag me away from here. That’s the stuff that makes living among a bunch of idiot conservatives totally worth it.

Hey! Austin has four seasons! It’s just that Summer takes up eight months of the year and Winter is either on January 8th or 9th, depending on the phase of the moon.

Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.

tsam said,

September 1, 2011 at 22:14

I will say this, smedley. I’ve been all over this nation, and NO part of it compares to the Northwest. The stunning scenery, the odd mix of cultures (on the West side), the ocean, the mountains, the Columbia River…fuck I could gush on for days about how much I love this place. You couldn’t drag me away from here. That’s the stuff that makes living among a bunch of idiot conservatives totally worth it.

Yeah, what tsam said, minus the living with conservatives thing. The West side is awesomely liberal. The people I find most annoying around here (other than the hipsters) are the Montessori moms that this town is fucking filled with. They’ll let their filthy rugrats do anything.

The people I find most annoying around here (other than the hipsters) are the Montessori moms that this town is fucking filled with

That’s a national trend- the has “families” in all major cities.

i wanna move to portland!!! western mn sux!

Thanks BBBB, that was hilarious, one nugget:

So, a Park Slope Stroller Mom is pushing the little one down Seventh Avenue on her way to the Tea Lounge or, perhaps, Union Hall, when the unthinkable happens: the Maclaren has tire trouble. What to do? Apparently, go to a bike shop. Today’s Post reports that Brooklyn nabes like Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights are on the cutting edge of a new trend: fixing stroller flats. Says the owner of a Slope shop: “They come in usually with one or two babies crying and sometimes demand to cut the line…We try to fix the flat right out on the sidewalk so they don’t have to come into the store.” One mom reports two blowouts and two flats on the mean street of the Baby Boom Brooklyn, including a nasty incident at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. The bike shop owners say that “they never imagined that they would be fixing several strollers a day and even more on the weekends.”

Pacific Ocean, near Grays Harbor, WA

This place is even gorgeous through the lens of a thoroughly incompetent photographer.

It’s funny how Creationists fetishize Darwin (much like they’re the only ones to refer to Obama as “The One”)- they are authoritarians, so they feel that, by diminishing Darwin the man, they diminish the whole concept of Evolution by Means of Natural Selection. Hell, even calling it “Darwinism” is a distortion. It’s not like “Christianity”- there’s no founder, merely an observer. Evolution could just as easily be termed Wallacism, but for the accidents of history.

Easy to say, but it’s a lot harder for good men and women to avoid the liberal elite pressures to believe in Newtonism, the notion that things just happen to ‘fall’ toward each other, pulled by a magic invisible force — they call this ‘science’ and teach it to our children in their big government schools!

And all the while they tell us it’s safe to read at night — you know, when it’s dark — because the theory of Edisonism says that some things which don’t normally shine can be made to shine if you expose it to more invisible stuff as stated by the believers of Voltism.

because the theory of Edisonism says that some things which don’t normally shine can be made to shine if you expose it to more invisible stuff as stated by the believers of Voltism.

ONLY if it’s the 5% efficient version of said Voltism. All other forms are government throat ramming of stuff we don’t want you to know we like.

“As am I, but I own this bitch.”

Wow, tsam. Congrats.

“As am I, but I own this bitch.” says marcus bachmann.

Theres the hipster laden Hawthorne district where you have to dodge all the fixies when going to the local improvement upon Whole Foods, New Seasons Market.

[aside]I installed the first Internet connection at that New Seasons back in about ’96 or so. Our company hosted their website too. Dear FSM that was a long time ago, now I feel old.[/aside]

Whoever typed it is correct: Stay on the western side of the Coast Range, Sierra Nevadas, Cascades, whatever you call ’em.

Hell, stay on the coastal side of the 5, if you can.

(tsam, you’re still OK.)

Spring in the PNW is extra wonderful, too.

ONLY if it’s the 5% efficient version of said Voltism. All other forms are government throat ramming of stuff we don’t want you to know we like.

Ha! If only! It’s the 1% efficient (before absorption by frosted bulbs) version that they’ll only give up when they’re pried from their cold, dead fingers, and the 4% efficient ones they’re resisting to their last breath.

it’s safe to read at night — you know, when it’s dark

Any fule kno that ‘darkness’ is merely an unsanitary condition caused by the spread and accumulation of ‘black air’.

And the people bowed and prayed,
To the incandescent God they’d made…

UGH

I can’t stand any more of this shit. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much today of all days.

Go away, badger.

Doo-do-do
He just keeps on trying
And he smiles when he feels like crying
Doo-do-do Doo-do-do…

It makes such a satisfying *dong* noise when they hit the bottom of the killfile.

http://www.newsyoucantuse.com/site/main/current.php?a=114920

The FIC last night released a report stating that spending levels related to entitlements overseen by the DOL and PNMB are well over 136% the levels seen in previous decades, except in the cases where congressional mandates therein prevented spending to exceed 66.6666(repeating)% of the officially recognized national poverty level. We all know what that means, at least those of us with functioning brains.

SUCK ON THAT LIBS!11!!!1!1!!!!!

Newtonism IS JUST A THEORY!

Newtonism IS JUST A THEORY!

Tell that to the pavement when you fall off your bike.

Newtonism IS JUST A THEORY!

I’d say something about figs, but then we’d get a ten-min. monologue on their preparation & consumption, which would cause me strain to my scrolling finger.

http://www.newsyoucantuse.com/site/main/current.php?a=114920

That really is news you can’t use.

my scrolling finger

Isn’t this something wimmins do sometimes for entertainment?

It’s even more entertaining if they let my finger do the scrolling.

Mayhap I was trying to slip in(*) a non-male euphemism into the mostly male euphemisms here? But it also works for males too, doesn’t it?

(*) Does this qualify as a veiled sexual reference?

Can it be there are only four hours remaining in my Week of Questioning Everything?

I have a co-worker who said he had homosexual friends and relatives and, thus, even though he thought being gay was disgusting and should be outlawed, he could not be a homophobe. I asked him, “Co-worker, do your gay friends and relations know that you think they’re disgusting and should be outlawed? Have you ever told them?”

Apparently, I’m the asshole for asking him that. He also once said that everyone should be forced, by law, to go to some sort of church “for society’s benefit” and that the entire continent of Africa should be nuked. He’s a libertarian and I’m really glad he doesn’t work with me anymore.

Is there any possible explanation for my having disliked eggplant from the very moment I first tasted it? Is this as ridiculous as my even more intense prejudices against parmesan, rhubarb, coconut, and New York City?

Apparently, I’m the asshole for asking him that. He also once said that everyone should be forced, by law, to go to some sort of church “for society’s benefit” and that the entire continent of Africa should be nuked. He’s a libertarian and I’m really glad he doesn’t work with me anymore.

Sounds like a real likable guy. You know, a guy you could “have a beer with”, right?

Here’s the best part about people like this. If you drew the contrast between an African saying North America should be nuked (after explaining that the USA is located in North America), he would be utterly incapable of seeing the similarity. THEN they want you to believe that they’re not criminally stupid.

Did it have the skin on it, Fenwick? The skin can be bitter, and they really benefit from being salted as described above if you’re cooking them as slabs, but lots of restaurants just cook them half-assedly with little or no prep. We usually roast them on the grill, slip the skins off, and make baingan bharta or baba ganoush with the smokey flesh. Of course, it’s also possible you just don’t like them, we’ve all got stuff like that.

and New York City?

Why? Don’t judge the whole city by their scuzzy baseball machine.

It’s the likwid thats got the bitter thing. That’s why great chefs like D-KW and I always sprinkle the sliced eggplant with salt and let it drain in a colander for 30 minutes or so.

Good thing for MB I did not take the fig reference as a challenge. I’m just not into sweet stuff, rarely use figs, usually don’t do desserts.

Why? Don’t judge the whole city by their scuzzy baseball machine Sadlynauts.

I don’t usually do the salting of the eggplants. Still a great cook, though. 😉

everyone should be forced, by law, to go to some sort of church “for society’s benefit”
&
He’s a libertarian

I’m sure there’s some stale in-joke to be made here, but I lost my handbook.

I made my guacamole Pup, and it is fucking fantastic.

I’m a little shaky on the selection, but they mixed up into edible paste. I also got this spice called Pico De Gallo Con Limon, which, mixed with the kosher salt, made it absolutely PERFECT.

Thank you!

I don’t usually do the salting of the eggplants. Still a great cook, though. 😉

Also, ordering that book tomorrow!

salting the eggplant

Slice eggplant.
Spray with olive oil.
Roast till brown
Put on pizza.
Is good

Mr. Marcus does indeed contain more than a hint of mint, as we used to say back in the Late Triassic period.

We, the media, have declared homosexuality normal — period, end of subject. Anyone of you Neanderthals daring to suggest otherwise will suffer the consequences.

Having lived in the country, I can confirm that declaration with bells, tassels & a FAAAAABULOUS little bow on … critters are more than happy to “experiment” when they’re in heat, humans are critters & are in heat all year long, so yeah, it sure is a shocker that some of us incline toward the brand of jiggy-jiggy-push-push that does not lead to offspring. As for those “consequences” – we’re not exactly talking cattle-cars, Zyklon-B & shallow graves here: yes, as usual, you’re going to get mocked for being dipshits. Adulthood is a real bitch, eh? Suck it up or find the missing 40 IQ points, honey.

Would Gregory have been so aggressive interviewing a Muslim presidential candidate about his beliefs? I suspect not.

Either he has no TeeVee access & is getting all this second-hand, or he’s living in a 24/7 meat dream. It would be the ONLY thing the media would want to talk about … an openly MUZLIMTERRORFREEDOMHAETINGEEEEEVIL candidate for President = media Mad-Libs all day, every day.

Regardless of the issue, the left — their liberal media enforcers — slanders the opposition, painting them to be haters and extremists.

Ah yes, falling back on the old “stop oppressing us by quoting our actual policies & opinions” meme. Sure thing, Lloyd, we’ll take the Liberal Jackboot of reality off your (red) neck – just as soon as you get out of a political scene you’ve consistently proven you have no aptitude for & STFU.

Also, the top-secret Sadlynaut Joke Facility, REVEALED AT LAST!

Slow night in Sadlyland, eh?

Well let’s see–jokes jokes jokes…

Hm–You know, I have to remember to turn off my swagger at night or I wake up covered in bitches.

Heh. It’s funny because it’s true and misogynist.

Sadly,No! featuring stale in-jokes made fresh daily!

BTW, jim, that was masterful. The whole thing.

you’re going to get mocked for being dipshits. Adulthood is a real bitch, eh? Suck it up or find the missing 40 IQ points, honey.

This is knockout punch. Brilliant.

I usually lurk here but I had to come out and say that tsam guy is stupid. Worst jokes ever.

I usually lurk here but I had to come out and say that tsam guy is stupid. Worst jokes ever.

LOL!

no, not really tsam…

The media did come in your mouth. Btw.
.

that tsam guy is stupid.

Definitely shopworn, at any rate.
.

Duties will likely include assisting the chef in developing, creating, writing and testing recipes; prepping and cooking for food shoots before and on-set, food styling; calculation of nutritional data, doing dishes and light clean up, and baking the chefs signature desserts for drop-offs to studios and executives. You will help coordinate and execute food shoots (television and photo), as well some kitchen management work. You will also coordinate tastings, grocery shop and be responsible for keeping the kitchen stocked, assist in procuring samples of various foods, working as a liaison with the company’s publicists as well as assisting in writing of articles and other office work. We cannot stress enough how important it is to be DETAIL-ORIENTED. If baking annoys you, please do not apply!

Apply here.

‘Antique Tables … Made Daily.’

Either way, I’ll bet they are shopworn.

tigris: I’m sure it wasn’t the egg-plant or the preparation. (My mom was a terrific cook.)

Rather, I was one of those awful finicky-eater kids.(*) My parents required all six kids to eat foods prepared for us, even if we didn’t like the dishes. I resisted the most stubbornly and complained the most loudly, with the widest range of complaints. I’m sure a whole bunch of my food dislikes are merely legacies of childhood stubborness; eggplant is doubtlessly one of there.

I’ve overcome many, though. Asparagus. Spinich. Fish. (Always loved crustaceans, though.) Cheese. (Which I am now w-a-y too fond of.) Pears. Apricots.

But unless it’s starvation, I ain’t eatin’ no shellfish, parmesan, or coconut! Cannot stand them.

TMI? Should go back to questions?

(*) Why limit it to food? I was an awful, angry kid about most everything.

Have I wrecked another one?

Can’t I even get my own flippin’ nym right?

I still won’t eat eggs, ’cause they all smell rotten to me.

“Also, ordering that book tomorrow!”

Awesome.

PENIS

Newtonism IS JUST A THEORY!

Tell that to the pavement when you fall off your bike.

He ay have been talking about the PDA

I also got this spice called Pico De Gallo

I prefer Pico de Galleon.

Higher fibre.

The gays are not asking heterosexuals to join their club, nor are they invading churches to perform creative obscene and degenerate acts on the pews, stained glass, and the real crowd pleaser, the alter. Gays don’t want guys like Lloyd to believe anything they say or even to understand it; they simply want to put a stop to the ignorant intolerence so freely and openly expressed by members of whatever faith, because their leaders are interpreting the Bible to meet their constituency’s prejudices and immature notions about reality.

According to the Constitution the government is obligated to protect whatever Voodoo, Ghia, Wizard, Buddha, Zen Master, Southern Baptist, Luthren, David Koresh, Pentacostal, Native-American, Jewish,Televangelist con-man, LDS, Hindu spiritual poetry, Catholic, and mega-church charmer who artfully manipulates superstitious mumbo jumbo to move their followers to donate the big bucks and small bucks in an apparent trance-like or seduced state of mind.

It is equally true that government’s responsibility is to protect the individual from fanatical intrusions on hls life that damage his right to equal protection under the law.

“One cannot cleave a hindquarter without killing the cow.” ~Erasmus McGuillicutty

you goddamned Portlanders with all your “food” and “trees” and such. why don’t you have any jobs for pharmaceutical scientists?!?!?!

The fact is, the gays are worse than what Hitler did. THey are also responsible for Obama being “elected”, by using PC and racism backwards to eliminate all opposing him.

With God and the Tea Party, we are taking Americas back now, you fags.

Nice

What? No. Those are the family values people.

This Thelonius Specter person is making me giggle. It probably doesn’t speak well of me, but I’m ok with that.

Meanwhile, with the economy still tanking, some liberal commentators have worked themselves into a virtual panic over religion. On Wednesday alone, one Washington Post columnist declared flatly that “Rick Perry is a theocrat,” while another discussed the urgent task of “saving America from Rick Perry.”

yes…two articles running on the same day addressing the rather hard core religiosity of a presidential hopeful = ‘virtual panic’ in my book!

The nazi organization is worldwide, it does not belong to a particular country, ethnicity or culture.

Uhhh. If you extract teh nationalism and racism from nazism all you’re left with is a vaguely defined occult worshipping totalitarian enterprise. Something along teh lines of organized religion, but with moar soldiers. A kind of Pacific Army.

The gays are not asking heterosexuals to join their club, nor are they invading churches to perform creative obscene and degenerate acts on the pews, stained glass, and the real crowd pleaser, the alter.

Pity. I might start attending church more often.

why don’t you have any jobs for pharmaceutical scientists?!?!?!

Those would be in the forest east of the Cascades.

With God and the Tea Party, we are taking Americas back now, you fags.

That’s fine, we ruined her for anything but liberal cock anyway.

The urge to harm oneself abates immediately after data transmitted through available wavelengths

An endorsement of masturbation if I’ve ever read one.

Lloyd’s musings about forced fellation of visits to the gym

In fairness, my gym has a rather popular machine called the Fellatron.

His hame is Edwin and he comes cheap.

by using PC and racism backwards to eliminate all opposing him.

Gary, you’re precious!! I love this!

See teh problem with the specific flavour of nutjob whackaloonery exhibited by teh Pacific Army is that mind control thing. Teh ebil non-racist, non-nationalist nazi’s have mind control powers. So there’s nothing that can be done to challenge teh paranoid delusions. Because, fricking mind control.

Well anyways, hopeless as it is, I’d like to lend and00d a hand.

His hame is Edwin and he comes cheap.

Hame, that’s a cross between his home and his name.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr….I meant “name”….

Teh ebil non-racist, non-nationalist nazi’s have mind control powers. So there’s nothing that can be done to challenge teh paranoid delusions.

But if they have mind control powers, then we’re unable to discern their ebil.

Here’s a hand, DK-W. I borrowed it from your mom, who was otherwise occupied with the Pacific Army

Hey, all I’m saying it that there are things we know. Like actor’s mom is a fat slut. That’s an observable fact.

Notions such as a world-wide conspiracy with supernatural powers that are employing those powers to make it only seem like actor’s mom is a fat slut when she’s really a saint? Not only are such ideas contrary to readily observable reality – but they don’t actually help at all.

SRSLY. What good does belief in teh conspiracy theory do? A conspiracy with indecipherable motives and near unlimited powers? Even if it were to exist, there ain’t shit that can be done either to help or hinder it. Even if you could figure out how to go about opposing the nebulous hidden regime, there’s no way of knowing that your opposition wasn’t part of their plan in the first place.

Like actor’s mom is a fat slut. That’s an observable fact.

Actually, she’s a really ashy slut now.

A conspiracy with indecipherable motives and near unlimited powers?

Let’s leave the Grammys out of this.

Let’s leave the Grammys out of this.

That Queen never won….sheesh….

So if Texas gets hit with major flooding out of this new storm in the Gulf, will Bachmann joke that God is after Rick Perry?

Queen never won a grammy? and Milly Vanilli did! This is an outrage! Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! We shall not rest until whoever gives out the grammys are ashes blowing in the wind, and their houses and places of business are rubble, fit only for and abode of owls and wild dogs.

So if Texas gets hit with major flooding out of this new storm in the Gulf, will Bachmann joke that God is after Rick Perry?

That, my friends, is why it is dangerous to pray for rain.

Queen never won a grammy? and Milly Vanilli did! This is an outrage!

Oh. It gets MUCH worse than Queen, depending on your taste in music…

So if Texas gets hit with major flooding out of this new storm in the Gulf, will Bachmann joke that God is after Rick Perry?

no…it will probably cause them to throw themselves into an unholy alliance with each other, since they will likely see it as an over-abundant answer to their fervent prayers…

Oh. It gets MUCH worse than Queen, depending on your taste in music…

i am more than fine with the beach boys not winning a grammy…

Oh. It gets MUCH worse than Queen, depending on your taste in music…

Well, I am offended on behalf all of those who were overlooked. Except for Lynyrd Skynyrd. Because fuck them.

Shorter Verbatim Matthew Vadum:

It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population [a.k.a. poor black people] to destroy the country — which is precisely why Barack Obama zealously supports registering welfare recipients to vote

At least they finally admit that they think we should just go back to that whole “only white, land-owning, Christian males get to vote” thing. He does, after all, whine about how far we’ve moved from the Founding Fathers original text etc. etc. etc.

These fuckers really are evil. Absolutely, pure, 100% evil. Like, as pure evil as that chunk of black rock in the toaster oven at the end of Time Bandits.

I’m generally offended by the Grammy process itself. It’s a popularity contest, not a metric for value in music.

Lynyrd Sky-nerd should have been banished to Detroit from that shit they did. They didn’t deserve anything.

Glad your guac worked out, tsam. Always happy to lend a hand.*

*Inadvertant sexual innuendo. Honest, *I* would never think such thoughts. Y’all are really sick.

It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population [a.k.a. poor black people] to destroy the country — which is precisely why Barack Obama zealously supports registering welfare recipients to vote

People gasp in horror when I openly advocate eliminating nazis like this fuck. Why? All they do is oppress others. Why should they get to live while poor black people die of treatable diseases because they can’t get health insurance because they can’t fucking vote????

Glad your guac worked out, tsam. Always happy to lend a hand.*

I’ll be back for more hand soon…

V_R, yes?

Lynyrd Sky-nerd should have been banished to Detroit from that shit they did. They didn’t deserve anything.

What shit did they do? And also, doesn’t Detroit have enough problems already?

It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population [a.k.a. poor black people] to destroy the country — which is precisely why Barack Obama zealously supports registering welfare recipients to vote illegal to impose a poll tax.

There, that’s better.

WAHJEENA TRAGEDY

from mark d (who can always be relied on to bring the worst of the worst to our attention)’s link:

Burgeoning welfare caseloads brought New York City to the brink of bankruptcy in the 1970s, a fact acknowledged two decades later by then-mayor Rudy Giuliani.

Giuliani blamed the “perverted social philosophy” of Cloward and Piven. “New York City viewed welfare as a good thing, as a wonderful thing. They romanticized it and embraced a philosophy of dependency.”

why do they keep insisting the sole purpose of the left is to promote welfare dependency? i’m pretty sure i just want people to be able to have their basic needs met while they are going through hard times…and for some sort of program that will help them with schooling or finding a job, whatever the case may be so they can get off the welfare and live reasonably well…oh, yeah…and affordable health insurance…god, i am a fucking monster, aren’t i?

Giuliani blamed the “perverted social philosophy” of Cloward and Piven.

Of course he did, of course.

Working out the guac.

Blaming the social philosophy.

Queen never won a grammy? and Milly Vanilli did! This is an outrage!

That’s because God apparently picks the grammy winners.

At least when he has time to spare from helping people score touchdowns.

why do they keep insisting the sole purpose of the left is to promote welfare dependency?

And why, if they really think that, do they ALWAYS support corporate welfare, and without the onerous burdens they place on poor folks. Fuckit, I demand CEOs wait for hours, filling out stacks of intrusive forms and being shuffled around to the same wrong people over and over, then have to pee in a cup for their fully means-tested, time-limited welfare.

It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population

Hell yeah!!! Just think of the mess this country would be in if these people ever were empowered and actually were allowed to become productive.

The movie starts at 10 p.m. Specific Time.
.

And why, if they really think that, do they ALWAYS support corporate welfare, and without the onerous burdens they place on poor folks. Fuckit, I demand CEOs wait for hours, filling out stacks of intrusive forms and being shuffled around to the same wrong people over and over, then have to pee in a cup for their fully means-tested, time-limited welfare.

indeed! i could not WAIT to have to not use food stamps or medical assistance…goddamn, those forms were a bitch and they were never ending…and the new pee test laws…don’t even get me started…

Oooo-ooooh that smail!
Cain’t you smail that smail?
.

What shit did they do?
Really?

And also, doesn’t Detroit have enough problems already?

Yeah, but the old Zucker Brothers reference doesn’t hold up if you use anywhere else.

Take him to Detroit..
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And why, if they really think that, do they ALWAYS support corporate welfare, and without the onerous burdens they place on poor folks.

Because they’re better than us.

It really is back to feudalism, when we believed that a small number of people at the top were the only thing carrying society on all of its backs, and it was our duty to kneel and beg them for every scrap.

Totally OT, who was asking about dimmable LED bulbs last week? Went to HD yesterday, and most of the bulbs were dimmable.

Oooo-ooooh that smail!
Cain’t you smail that smail?

this is a chorus that always makes me giggle…i mean, wth? when i lived in texas, my eardrums were continually assaulted by skynard…ewwww…

Lynyrd Sky-nerd should have been banished to Detroit from that shit they did.

skynard should be dug up from the grave and forced to live with ted nugent…oh wait, that might be the ninth circle of hell…

In my college days, for an entire frickin’ year, every Friday and Saturday night some drunk would holler down the hall “what song is it you want to hear?” then som other drunk would holler back “Freebird!” and then the first drunk would crank his stereo up to eleventy and the whole damn dorm would have to listen to Freebird. I had no problem with Skynard prior to that, now I only listen to Molly Hatchett.

I’m late to the party, but I hope this dovetails nicely into the joint.

I had no problem with Skynard prior to that, now I only listen to Molly Hatchett.

What, no Blackfoot?
.

I’m late to the party, but I hope this dovetails nicely into the joint.

If your dovetail joint is shopworn… it’ll be like someone’s mom.
.

Totally OT, who was asking about dimmable LED bulbs last week? Went to HD yesterday, and most of the bulbs were dimmable.

That would be me I me. I haven’t really looked at LED/mini-F for a couple of years and figured the technology had advanced. The fixtures in our apartment and our floor lamps all have dimmers and I’d like to stop using incandescents.

Also: Cutting the dovetail.

What shit did they do?
Really?
Yes really. What shit did they do?

i am more than fine with the beach boys not winning a grammy…

HEATHEN! BLASPHEMER! HATER! BIGOT!

If your dovetail joint is shopworn… it’ll be like someone’s mom.

This. Too. Also.

Take him to Detroit..
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Alright! Take him to Cleveland!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

HEATHEN! BLASPHEMER! HATER! BIGOT!

i prefer to think of myself as tasteful…

If your dovetail joint is shopworn… it’ll be like someone’s mom.

This. Too. Also.

and as such, no one is allowed to laff, larf or lol about it…

N_B, from the box of the one I got: dimmable when using leading edge dimmers. Visit http://www.philips.com/beautifullight to find up-to-date dimmer compatibility information.

The website looks fairly useless, but maybe I didn’t know what to search for.

Any chance we’re going to get a new thread for teh Labor Day weekend? This one’s getting kind of shopworn

Tigris –

Thanks. I’ll swing by a store and read the boxes, as that’s easier than working with that poorly-designed web site.

HEATHEN! BLASPHEMER! HATER! BIGOT!

i prefer to think of myself as tasteful…

You ain’t.

Any chance we’re going to get a new thread for teh Labor Day weekend? This one’s getting kind of shopworn

Wow. It took 451 comments for someone to notice the stale stench.

You ain’t.

did yer mom tell you that?

OT: is it ‘many of whom’ or ‘many of who’?

So if Texas gets hit with major flooding out of this new storm in the Gulf, will Bachmann joke that God is after Rick Perry?

Strange how no one ever blames bad things that happen in conservative areas to their bigotry and discrimination toward homosexuals.

did yer mom tell you that?

Why? Did she taste you?

OT: is it ‘many of whom’ or ‘many of who’?

Probably “whom”, but it depends on the rest of the sentence. If they are the object, then “whom”, if they are the subject, then “who”.

On second thought, I think it’s always “whom” in that construction.

Many of Who.

On second thought, I think it’s always “whom” in that construction.

“Of” is the controlling authority in this case. Many of whom.

Before: The so-called “Vagina Tree,” a decades-old Sycamore inside McCarren Park, earned its nickname for resembling a female body part.

Tit’s? Child bearing hips? Help me out, I’m at a loss here!
.

Many of Who, also

Strange how no one ever blames bad things that happen in conservative areas to their bigotry and discrimination toward homosexuals.

You gotta unnerstand. When bad things happen to conservatives it’s not God that’s doing the bad things. They happen because DFHs and Teh Gheys got together in their covens and worshipped Gaia and Satan and the FSM and then had an orgy. So of course the DFHs and Teh Gheys are to blame, and it has NOTHING AT ALL to do with bigotry, discrimination and hypocrisy by conservatives. Those things are features, not bugs.

The so-called “Vagina Tree,” a decades-old Sycamore inside McCarren Park

HOLY SHIT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not the McCarren Park vagina tree! In Brooklyn!

Boy, I guess Irene licked her!

Many of who, also.

The Vagina Tree, pre-prolapse

Many what which.
.

Many of Hu, also

(may not be totally SFW…I’m investigating many of Hu carefully)

Wow, I’ve heard of trepanning, but that one dude (named Hu, I presume) is doing it with a hammer drill. That is hardcore.

Even ET has too much to drink, from time to time.

named Hu, I presume

That would be the procedure he discovered with Li Man.

That’s right. It’s the Hu-Man league…

Strange how no one ever blames bad things that happen in conservative areas to their bigotry and discrimination toward homosexuals.

This stems from the fact that usually there are at least 10 righteous liberals who don’t cotton to double wetsuit, bum-plug, dildo in favor of ball-gag, auto erotic aspirations. So unlike Sodom-n-NewYorka the divine providence spares the conservative hinterlands.

Or something…
.

God apparently picks the grammy winners.

God is likely tone-deaf.

The lone Grammy Frank Zappa won was for one of his weakest albums: Jazz From Hell … when he was still learning the ropes about programming & running an original old-school Synclavier.

Plenty keen album though it still is, whoa Nelly – his four-LP behemoth of alternative entertainment LÄTHER could’ve been at least nominated for jazz, for rock, for classical, let alone for Album Of Teh Year … but for the nefarious perfidy of Warner Bros. legal weasels who refused to release it. He soon therafter took his revenge by playing the entire fucking thing on live radio so that people could have it for free instead.

tl;dr = Great Googly Moogly!

Rick Perry supports the idea that the Statue of Liberty is a Satanic idol

Rick Perry.

The Milli Vannilli thing convinced me there was no point paying attention to the Grammys. I didn’t so much care that they gave it to a fake act. Anybody can be conned, and I don’t think people should be criticized for assuming good faith on the part of their colleagues.

No, my objection was that when the whole thing broke, they DIDN’T give it to the guy who was actually singing those songs. At that point it became clear that whatever they’re celebrating, it is not the musical performance.

Forbes magazine actual headline:

Obamacare is Working

the Statue of Liberty is a Satanic idol

Before clicking, I had already composed in my head the response, “Well, sure, it came from a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys”.

Then I clicked. Sure enough, in the second paragraph, we find:

You know where we got it from? French Free Masons

.

QED bitch. Q.E.D.

Yes really. What shit did they do?

Everything that I find to be overplayed, overrated, and pretty stupid. That’s pretty much everything I’ve heard from them.

Wow. It took 451 comments for someone to notice the stale stench.

Didn’t we welcome you back early on?

Didn’t we welcome you back early on?

Possibly, but it’s shop-worn already. tl;dr

Why? Did she taste you?

ha! i knew i could count on you to go there…

Is Santorum also considered brown-eye gravy?
.

brown-eye gravy

One of Van Morrison’s lesser works.

divine providence spares the conservative hinterlands

Diapers work too. And they enjoy them even more.

Diapers work too. And they enjoy them even more.*

*VV**R?

**Vitter
.

If we’re going to start teraing down false Idols in this country, I say we start with Ronnie Raygun statues and work our way down.

Forbes magazine actual headline:

Obamacare is Working

is he being for realz, here? cuz i can’t tell anymore…

The Milli Vannilli thing convinced me there was no point paying attention to the Grammys

You mean, the fact that this guy won five Grammys didn’t make it obvious?

Is Santorum also considered brown-eye gravy?

One of Van Morrison’s lesser works.

possibly one of the most disgusting yet funniest things i’ve read, ever…

Sorry. 🙂
.

Sorry. 🙂

no…it’s all good…i needed to laff and lay off my gravy consumption…

It became clear that the Grammy Awards were a sham when her hearing aid fell out at the listening party.

Shortly after reading “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” I took Bagoas for a walk. Saw this Image of Jesus Virgin Mary proof of something or other.

i needed to laff and lay off my gravy consumption…

“Sure! We all do!” /Struthers
.

Saw this Image of Jesus Virgin Mary proof of something or other.

God is a planarian?

http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=ziNRAAAAIBAJ&sjid=8CYNAAAAIBAJ&dq=atheism&pg=965%2C5143171

Relevant to something or other upstairs.

God is a planarian?

More an E plebnistan.
.

say we start with Ronnie Raygun statues and work our way down.

What could possibly be false about an incompetent fucking weasel actor who turned his friends over to the McCarthy nazis?

More an E plebnistan.

That tickled my loins. Anyone got a quatloo or two to spare for a remedy?
.

“I have never yet met a man who understood in the least what Einstein is driving at; and I have been so much impressed by this fact that I seriously doubt that Einstein himself knows really what he is driving at. Truth is always very clear when seen with clear eyes. The fact that any theory cannot ennuciated and only succeeds in be-fogging the mind is patent proof that it is not really truth.”
‘Cardinal’ William O’Connell -04/1929

That which confuses me condones my stupidity!

ho ho ho

I’m not the ho, YOU’RE THE HO.

That which confuses me condones my stupidity!

And before I saw this, I thought I had something to add. I was actually working on several angles, looking for the best way to dress this particularly fetid mango, but then saw that my work had been done, in seven words even.

Well played, sir!

/doffs cap
.

The Vagina Tree, pre-prolapse

The hood ornament is pretty funny.

Not the wahjeena tree.

The hood ornament is pretty funny.

i did not even notice that!

Not the wahjeena tree.

that reminds me of a really grody image a certain ‘regular’ on here posted a while back…

that reminds me of a really grody image a certain ‘regular’ on here posted a while back…

This one was just gnarly.

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/k2oel/im_robert_reich_former_secretary_of_labor_author/c2h1x5d

I think we already have an alien invasion from space. It’s being led by Michele Bachmann.

I got nothin’. Let’s pretend I said something super-funny and got an Internet–AND a brand new car!–for it.

I’m prepared to give you the internet, but you can pry my car from my cold, dead hands.

More of D-KW’s cooking tips.

Saw this Image of Jesus Virgin Mary proof of something or other.

Dude! It’s Jerry Garcia come back from the dead to give you a message! Of course, you’ll have to wait 20 minutes for him to tune up and another hour for him to jam meander his way to the point but the journey will be awesome.

More of D-KW’s cooking tips.

Today, on a very special Iron Chef, the challenger teaches Chairman Kaga learns something he never knew about his family.

More of D-KW’s cooking tips.

ROFL!

Today, on a very special Iron Chef, the challenger teaches Chairman Kaga learns something he never knew about his family.

fukui-san! you’ll notice those pepperoni are made out of goat and santorum…i hear it’s very tasty!

fukui-san! you’ll notice those pepperoni are made out of goat and santorum…i hear it’s very tasty!

I just want you to know that I was actually eating when I read the above…Sad thing is that the last two spoonfuls will make it to my stomach.

I guess that means, sadly, that when you have observed the bottom of the abyss and still have an apatite…I guess that I really have no idea what that means.

I am a little sad.

/that hash ain’t gonna finish itself
.

I guess that means, sadly, that when you have observed the bottom of the abyss and still have an apatite…I guess that I really have no idea what that means.

one of us…one of us…

The aforementioned has was composed of some cubed Russet potato’s fried for a bit in Goat milk butter, joined at the moment of carmelization by some Broccoli stalk cuttings, some canned corn, and at the last some read onion.

Seasoned with garlic powder, black pepper and a bit of salt…Delish, and cheap.

.

has=hash.

/facepalm
.

one of us…one of us…

I feel that.

Thank you.

I would do the equivalent of a* (totally platonic) internet kiss on your cheek if I knew how.

*edited pre-comment to remove an *n* which had been part of the original, pre-parenthetic construct.
.

I would do the equivalent of a* (totally platonic) internet kiss on your cheek if I knew how.

If you were truly one of us, you’d offer a tongue laden, sloppy, wet kiss and a reach-around to grab her ass too, also.

Remember, those old jokes don’t shopwear themselves!

Remember, those old jokes don’t shopwear themselves!

well…i’d love to stay and shopwear those jokes, but i’m off to go ply unsuspecting customers with alcohol…i may or may not drunk-post when i get done…

The so-called “Vagina Tree,” a decades-old Sycamore

I am disappointed that it was not a slippery elm.

I guess I’m a terrible person, but I still think this is pretty funny.

Remember, those old jokes don’t shopwear themselves!

In my defense, I was only trying to be appear polite.
.

This was a mango retrieved from the comments of Roys place.

Holy Fuck. We have 15 months remaining to steep in shit like the above.
.

Black Barbarian kills shopworn thread.

Film at 11!!111!!11!!1!!!!!1!

observed the bottom of the abyss and still have an apatite

Well isn’t that gneiss!

Well isn’t that gneiss!

Well granite, it’s tough to see what they’re doing to this blue marble. You have to appreciate UNE’s fortitude; at least he isn’t full of schist.

Provider:

Because hey, it’s not like there’s an expiration date on segregation-era fears of black people…

What? There was?

Passage of the Civil Rights Bill?

Damn, liberal n-welfare queen loving bastards destroying our freedoms.

Black Barbarian kills shopworn thread.

Flash mob! New Black Panthers!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Flash mob!

HTML5 mobs for those with iPhones.

Flash Jobs!

I gots nuthing, youse guys and gals are too Brill, too kind, just so on and such.

I have been a napping for I have the privilege of catering to drunken douchebag college kids until 3:30 in the am.

How many dreams had to die so I could live this one…
.

Well granite, it’s tough to see what they’re doing to this blue marble. You have to appreciate UNE’s fortitude; at least he isn’t full of schist.

We certainly marble at it, to be sure. Mica suggest a different interpretation for marble than the one you posted? You certainly wouldn’t want to appear igneous.

Flash Jobs!

What VS will be doing off I-93 this evening?

I’ll have Softball Answers for $600, Alex.

Only to 3:30?
Those kids need more practice.

Did I miss anything?

We are all shop-worn now. Please dress appropriately.

S-Naughts are wearing clothes now?

http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/35585.html#comment-1220583

Who ARE these “regulars” of which you speak? And what are these “shopworn” jokes you lament?

I read the thread!

Good for me!

And the newly nymed andon turns into, Badgers!

In -joke # 34

really cool HOAX@@@!!

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/1109/FirstParallelMode_SPIRE_PACS_c900.jpg

In -joke # 34

If you’re gonna tell a joke, tell it right!

I really do invite andon to set himself on fire. Mobile devices are not badger-enabled. *dramatic sigh*

…tell it right!

Oh sure, Henny Spearhafoc. King of the one-liners.

Michael Corleone, at the wedding of his sister, says:

“That’s my family Kay. That’s not me.”

Sure.

In -joke # 34

Someone, somewhere on the internet finds that joke sexy.

Now I wish I had saved the brown-eye gravy joke for some other time.
.

I was referencing an old joke.

A new prisoner is in his cell at lights out. He hears a man yell “74!”, followed by uproarious laughter from all the other prisoners. Another voice yells “14!”, followed again by laughter.

The new prisoner asks his cellmate what was going on. The cellmate says, “We’ve all been here so long, we’ve heard all our jokes so many times we know ’em by heart. All we gotta do is say the numbers.”

The new prisoner decides to get in on the game, shouting “30!” He heard only deafening silence until his cellmate said, “If you’re gonna tell a joke, tell it right!”

finds that joke sexy.

That’s sick.
Wait, now that I think about it, it IS sexy.

bbl.

Spear,
I know.

Fuck! I wrote out that joke for nothing?

I knew I should have copied and pasted. But how would that make me any better than andon? I mean, beyond the fact that even a detritus-eating insect is better than andon?

I’d never heard it.

thanks!

Text form does leave it a bit dry.

Text form does leave it a bit dry.

Try imagining a rimshot.

We certainly marble at it, to be sure. Mica suggest a different interpretation for marble than the one you posted? You certainly wouldn’t want to appear igneous.

Oh, Actor. Shale I compare thee to a summer’s day? Or would that be considered verbal basalt? I appreciate you at least playing the pun game with me, I think it’s tuff to come up with good ones.

that hash ain’t gonna finish itself

Alway glad to help out. Specially if it’s top-o-the-line Turkish black!

I think it’s tuff to come up with good ones.

It’s like you’re stuck between a rock and….another rock.

Oh, Actor. Shale I compare thee to a summer’s day?

What a heartbreccia you are!

Try imagining a rimshot

oh, I’m trying. I’m trying

I could tightrope walk when I was a little girl

This is one of the lines that convinces me andon is NOT male. Many of the stories are centered on girls and women, as are most of the names. And, of course, she signs (variously) as Alisha or Alicia. A

Also the Pacific Army seems a more benign delusion, more in harmony with women than the more macho and confrontational delusions of men. (Does that make me sexist? Serious question, btw.)

Remember, in the world of mammals, there are female badgers, too. I read andon. (I don’t have the smarts–or even the inclination–to do killfiles.)

She doesn’t have any clearly articulated politics, at least not that I detect…which is quite different from other trolls I have encountered here in the last five years. Imo, andon needs professional help. (<===NOT meant as snark!)

I could be gullible, of course, taken in by some clever copy-pasta troll who is laughing his ass off that someone at S,N takes andon at face value.

Tsam will hate me for this, but I think we should give andon a 'safe space'. Use a kill-file or scroll past her stuff.

((And I agree that this thread is about played out. There has been some good stuff, and by-and-large has been entertaining. But it's time for the boat to sail to a new swamp.))

Crap. Nymfail. I blame Hiltre. And WP.

Hmmm… thread seems shopworn… is there still life in it?

WTF are you still doing up? Oh wait, it’s only a bit after 1:00 where you live. I’m here trying to watch the SeaChickens and nodding off.

I’m working a graveyard.

Don’t let the zombiez get you.

Ijust finished watching the Gold Coast Suns narrowly miss out on getting thier first ever homefield victory. But alas, that was the last game of the season and since the world will be ending Decemer 21 the poor Suns will never win a home game.

Thread Bear (Sweet blood of Jesus, just, after X yrs., “got” your pseud. Fuck I am oblivious/literal-minded! The “shopworn” references [which are already getting a bit, you know …] must’ve wised me up.) the world ends 21 December 2012. You can look forward to suffering next yr. too.

Screw the Chickens of the Sea, too. As a Raider fan, I anticipate another season of suffering as well.

What a heartbreccia you are!

I want to be a loam.

I am sure that I flubbed the setup, but really, no response to the most brilliantly funny, yet poignant and dark thought that crossed my mind this year? IMHO anyways. So I’ll repeat it just in case it was missed during the PunWars&trade:

How many dreams had to die so I could live this one…

.

Fucking semicolons, how do they work?

/hangs head in shame
.

This thread smells like good cheese.

Ha, the cashier at the supermarket I used to frequent always used to look askance at the cheese and say, “I can’t abide by the smell of it!”

I don’t want to live in a world without fancy cheese.

I don’t want to live in a world without fancy cheese.

How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?

Charles De Gaulle

mmmmmm shopworn cheese and masturbation….

Makes me happy,
Makes me feel fine.

Also, I have never been cheesy. I’ve got personality.

Those are not mutually exclusive traits. Is it dangerous to engage with you? Are we reaching you?

Yes.

No.

Maybe so.

Run, Forrest Sarah, Run!

That’s what they’re chanting at the teabagger rally in Iowa.

Yeah Forrest Sarah, RUN!

There is no such thing as a homosexual. No such thing. rainbow people are nazi’s, or those misled by nazi’s

Watch your fucking mouth, bitch. Not the place for that shit.

Halting the Funding.

oh feck…andon made a euphemism…i don’t know what this thread is coming to…

this is a nazi website, so very clearly.

Maybe so. I wouldn’t answer your door for a couple of weeks if I were you.

“It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population to destroy the country — which is precisely why Barack Obama zealously supports registering welfare recipients to vote. Encouraging those who burden society to participate in elections isn’t about helping the poor, it’s about helping the poor to help themselves to others’ money. It’s about raw so-called social justice. It’s about moving America ever farther away from the small-government ideals of the Founding Fathers.”

Vadum, the author of a book published by World Net Daily writes in a column for the American Thinker.

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/09/columnist_registering_poor_to_vote_like_handing_out_burglary_tools_to_criminals.php?ref=fpb

Vadum knows being a productive Koch-sucking American is totally what Tom, John, Ben, and George were all trying to create!

this is a nazi website, so very clearly.

BEEG SHMILE, Alicia, BEG SHMILE!

There is no such thing as a homosexual.

And no such thing as andon.

piece of mind = peace of mind.

Cuz goodness knows you couldn’t afford the cyclotron to give us a piece of your mind.

Vadum knows being a productive Koch-sucking American is totally what Tom, John, Ben, and George were all trying to create!

Roger, on the other hand…

Tom, John, Ben, and George

Paul, John, Ringo, and George.

dum knows being a productive Koch-sucking American is totally what Tom, John, Ben, and George were all trying to create!

in a totes hetero and xtian way, of course!

okay…i’m making a chicken stock…i have the carcass, celery, carrots, onion and garlic simmering right now…any additions and/or suggestions?

pepper

won’t somebody (and i think you know who i mean) think of the children?

pepper

spice? or red, yellow, green?

The Spice.

… Must FLOW!

The Spice

fresch cracked pepper is in the pot…

fresch cracked pepper is in the pot…

I won’t get you any higher.

bbkf, while you simmer the chicken, scoop off the protein foam that gathers on top of the stock.

I won’t get you any higher.

I will, but bring some papers — my pipe is kinda nasty.
.

He (or she) who controls the Spice controls the universe!

bbkf, while you simmer the chicken, scoop off the protein foam that gathers on top of the stock.

good call…i usually forget…

I was going to make a pot roast but roasted some pot instead.

He (or she) who controls the Spice controls the universe!

He (or she) who wears the Old Spice controls the TV at the old folks home.
.

bbkf – maybe throw a sprig of parsley and a bay leaf in there if you’ve got any.

He (or she) who controls the Spice controls the universe!

there’s no controlling this spice

bbkf – maybe throw a sprig of parsley and a bay leaf in there if you’ve got any.

will do…

Last night I got high for a week!

Deschmaltzing the chicken.

Torching the weed.

sprigging the parsley

The Spike must flow!

If your local foodbox isn’t selling this beautiful greenish ambrosia, hassle them mercilessly until they do. SRSLY. Sprinkle on a lot to enjoy its own dandy flavour, or a wee dash to amp up already existing flavours (the only supper-type food I didn’t find improved by Spike is Mac&Cheese … presumably because M&C is perfect just the way it is). This is the stuff that restaurants put on their grub when they want to bump up the price.

Are you guys watching this Palinoscopy?
.

Among all of the obvious reasons to despise Sarah Palin, I have an added aggravation: She sounds EXACTLY like my fucking ex-wife. Same voice, same fucking fake-nice church lady diction, same general sense that you’re talking to an illiterate butthole. I am physically incapable of watching her.

I think we already have an alien invasion from space. It’s being led by Michele Bachmann.

No aliens capable of interstellar travel would be led by Michele Bachmann. I mean, other than those aliens in Signs who couldn’t operate doorknobs and hadn’t thought to bring raincoats to a planet 70% covered by the water which kills them.

At least we don’t sparkle in the daylight.

” I am physically incapable of watching her.”

I feel the EXACT same way about her, although as far as I know I was never married to your ex.

okay…i’m making a chicken stock

Between Empire Kosher stock and Perdue stock, you’re going to have a tough time attracting venture capitalists.

I wish andon would get the old Face-Ripper Monkey treatment.

My notmother gave me ether

Explains a lot.

I mean, other than those aliens in Signs who couldn’t operate doorknobs and hadn’t thought to bring raincoats to a planet 70% covered by the water which kills them.

We call them “condoms” and that had better have been foreplay there.

I wish andon would get the old Face-Ripper Monkey treatment.

That chimp got shot. And in his diaper, too!

GOTT IM HIMMEL!

NEUES THREAD!

Sorry, I was otherwise occupied. Basic stock is fine. Toss some parsley stems in there if ain’t too late. And DON’T BOIL, just simmer. Unless you *like* cloudy stock.

Those aliens weren’t as bad as the original “V” aliens who went into a gravity well to steal liquid water when trillions of tons of easily portable frozen water were available in the Oort cloud without pesky humans to cause any trouble.

S.

In fairness, they was also raping our white women.

Thank you for the good writeup. It in truth was once a entertainment account it. Look advanced to far introduced agreeable from you! By the way, how can we keep in touch?