And What Would Butt Rocket Have Said If Obama Stayed On Vacation?


ABOVE: Adult toy (left); Right-wing dildo (right)

John Hinderaker, Powertools IV:
How to Politicize a Hurricane.

  • Stupid Obama. He went to the Hurricane Command Center thinking he can stop Hurricane Irene. If he really wanted to help things, he should be hauling sandbags.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 158

 
 
 

Oh man, that picture…I do not want to associate Assrocket with a sexual act of any kind!

 
 

If he REALLY wanted to help he should have had a photo-shoot with a not-to-be-eaten cake for some crotchety old coot’s birthday.

 
Bozo the Cocksucker
 

Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.

 
 

If Obama really would have happened, he would have invaded Syria- I hear there’s a lot of sand in the Mideast.

 
 

Come to think of it, merely bombing Iran would have sent clouds of sand into the atmosphere, some of which could have wafted over to municipalities in Irene’s path.

 
 

Missed joke: Hurricane Irene, or Hurricane IRAN!?!??!?!?!

 
 

Great strategy, you kooky wingnutz: by merely performing his duties as President of the United States, Obama is WRONG!1! GLURG!!! GAG!1! SNORT!!!

We get it.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

That picture looks like a publicity still from a Steven Hawking-themed porno. I mean, I know it isn’t really, because I’ve seen all of them, but still.

 
 

They’re so nimble, these wingnuts, they turn on a dime! Just a couple days ago they were outraged that Obama hadn’t predicted the earthquake and personally staved it off before it happened. Now they’re unhappy that he actually met with FEMA staff in preparation of the hurricane.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

I must have early-onset dementia, because I can’t remember the wingnut excuse for Dubya’s constant brush-clearing vacations of Freedom ™. I’m guessing it was “Only SAD-dam-loving faggots criticize the president”; that one came up a lot, as I remember.

 
 

One hundred years ago, people understood that the president had nothing to do with hurricanes. Now, the president is expected to pretend to have control over more or less everything. This has something to do with the inexorable expansion of federal power, and also something to do with the dumbing-down of the American people.

Providing warning and coordinated relief efforts for victims of hurricanes and other natural disasters is a sure sign of increasing national stupidity. Smart countries let their citizens die by the thousands.

 
 

That picture looks like a publicity still from a Steven Hawking-themed porno. I mean, I know it isn’t really, because I’ve seen all of them, but still.

Did you prefer A Brief History of Cum or The Universe in my Nutsack?

 
 

This has something to do with the inexorable expansion of federal power, and also something to do with the dumbing-down of the American people.

Sadly, no! It has something to do with expecting these gasbag fuckup politicians to actually do their fucking jobs once in a while–ya know, since we fucking pay them pretty well for it.

Go to hell and die, assrocket. Perhaps you’d like to write this same piece about Chris Christie actually doing his job? Yeah, I thought not. Fucking jackwagon.

 
 

Obama on Martha’s Vineyard before the storm: bad.
Obama not staying on Martha’s Vineyard during the storm: bad.

We could also point out that Obama’s not being in DC after the earthquake was talked up as some sort of failing, as was his getting back before Irene. It’s almost as if nothing he could do would satisfy some people, but that just can’t be true!

 
 

Jeez, wingnuts won’t even give Obama credit for operating Reagan’s 8th consecutive term.

Tough crowd.
~

 
 

Steven Hawking-themed porno

“Golly, Professor! This physics stuff is so hard! I think the only way I’m ever going to understand quantum tunnelling is with …a hands-on demonstration!

*bow-chicka-wow-wow*

 
 

If Obama really wanted to help, he would drop everything and sexually pleasure me and the other Powerline writers-oops, I think I’ve said too much.

 
 

In related odd wingnut commentary on hurricanes, my Fucking Weird Statement of the Week Award would have to go to Ron Paul. While telling us why FEMA is totally unnecessary, he said:

We should be like 1900; we should be like 1940, 1950, 1960,” Paul said. “I live on the Gulf Coast; we deal with hurricanes all the time. Galveston is in my district.

It’s the “We should be like 1900” comment that I especially love. 1900 was the year that Galveston was hit by a Category 4 hurricane that killed about 8,000 people, largely because there was no coordinated warning system. Paul is essentially saying “Vote for me! I strongly support the needless mass death of my constituents!”

 
 

Paul is essentially saying “Vote for me! I strongly support the needless mass death of my constituents!”

You kiddin’? That sort of talk make teabaggers jizz themselves.

 
 

Of course, Perry or Bachmann, or whoever will be the latest infatuation front runner a month from now; could have stayed at home and prayed for everybody.

Then sent their reconstruction companies…

 
 

“Oh, professor, it’s so big!”

“Yes. but. I. can’t. Mea-sure. It. withOut. changIng. its. posItion. or. Mo-menTum.”

 
 

You kiddin’? That sort of talk make teabaggers jizz themselves.

Assuming they aren’t in the path of destruction, in which case they’re fat white asses are so much more American that we can make a federal welfare exception. Just this once, though. Otherwise, shut FEMA down WOLVERINES

 
 

I just listened to Mike Bloomberg at a press conference implicitly making the case for big government. It’s too fucking bad that Obama can’t seem to manage to say the same thing.

 
 

Sleazebag Tintin digs in his bag of dildos to make a photoshop, freakin’ loser. ‘Pathetic prog trolls need only blame idiot Democrats for the criminal failure to protect citizens during Katrina’.

Freakin’ douchebag ASFLs.

 
 

Dig this, left out of the Ron Paul interview video/transcript:

RON PAUL: The government’s not responsible for your safety, that’s why we have a Second Amendment.

MSNBC’s reasons for deleting this comment from the package is a puzzlement. True, Paul’s comment is a) ahistorical and b) makes no sense.

 
 

I find hollowpoint ammunition especially effective against hurricanes.
.

 
 

WTFWP?!

I find hollowpoint ammo especially effective against hurricanes.
.

 
 

Snorhagen said:

“It’s the “We should be like 1900? comment that I especially love. 1900 was the year that Galveston was hit by a Category 4 hurricane that killed about 8,000 people, largely because there was no coordinated warning system.”

There was a coordinated warning system in 1900 but it was run like a fiefdom. The weather warnings from out-of-favor employees and other countries (Cuba in particular) were disregarded before the storm. Some would say that 8,000 people died because of political hubris but some would be wrong ’cause that never happens in this country.

Read “Isaac’s Storm”.

 
 

RON PAUL: The government’s not responsible for your safety, that’s why we have a Second Amendment.

In conservative dreamland, bullets can kill hurricanes.

 
 

“Freakin’ douchebag ASFLs.”

Whatever the fuck an “ASFL” is. More to the point you’ve linked to the American Power blog and that, as we say, is the measure of the poster.

 
 

I had a bad cut on my finger, so I shot it.
~

 
 

More to the point you’ve linked to the American Power blog and that, as we say, is the measure of the poster.

Nothing drips class like blog-whoring among your enemies.

 
 

Nothing drips classherr derr like blog-whoring among your enemies.

FYFT.
.

 
 

Herr Derr sold some of the best strudel I’ve ever eaten. How’s he doing?

 
Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus
 

Neocon Avenger said,
August 28, 2011 at 20:09

Sleazebag Tintin digs in his bag of dildos to make a photoshop, freakin’ loser.

Tintin? Who the hell is that? Won’t you please tell us who Tintin really is?

 
 

I think Ass Rocket, while looking quite comfy and content there with that lovely pink fake cock, would actually prefer a bigger and blacker one. Just sayin’.

 
 

Ah. All Sports Fantasy League. Thanks, Google!

 
 

Tintin had no choice; after Rick Perry deep-throated that corndog, the Hindrocket pic lacked impact.

 
 

Poor Donalde.

It appears he’s not getting enough attention.
~

 
 

Does anyone really know who Tintin is?
Does anyone really care?
If so I can’t imagine why
We’ve all got blogs to ask why

 
 

Age/Sex/Fatness/Location?

 
 

Sleazebag Tintin digs in his bag of dildos to make a photoshop, freakin’ loser.

DILDOS ISRAEL!!

 
 

Look like the Donalde has some time on his hands – he doesn’t appear to be teaching this semester at Long Beach City College, at least according to the catalog.

 
 

In conservative dreamland, bullets can kill hurricanes.

Scientificamalogical studies have proven that you can protect your beach-house by standing in the surf and popping a cap in the storm surge’s ass.

 
 

Sleazebag Tintin digs in his bag of dildos

For such a porn-obsessed guy I’ll wager Donaldee has his own bag of toys. And maybe the bag is a wetsuit.

 
 

Two wetsuits.

 
 

Obama should be in California fake guitar playing and letting some incompetent hack appointee fuck things up.

Then Assrocket would praise his genius.

 
 

that’s why we have a Second Amendment.

Which refers specifically to “a well- regulated militia”.

IOW, government regulations are IN TEH CONSTITUTION!!11!111!!

*cue exploding wingnut crania*

Do any of these assholes ever even READ the goddamned thing?

 
 

RON PAUL: The government’s not responsible for your safety, that’s why we have a Second Amendment.
MSNBC’s reasons for deleting this comment from the package is a puzzlement.

Presidential aspirants should not be allowed to embarrass the entire Republican movement by calling for the abolition of the police force.

 
 

Do any of these assholes ever even READ the goddamned thing?

LOL

 
 

Presidential aspirants should not be allowed to embarrass the entire Republican movement by calling for the abolition of the police force.

Don’t forget firefighters and TEH TROOPS! All government funded, and sort of, in some ways, participate in at least some manner to public safety.

 
 

I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist on getting PAID for reading this shit. Listen, there’s only so much stupid one person can take before she starts to develop a tic.

 
 

What’s this now?

You know, I wouldn’t say we overreacted at all in preparing the first hurricane to hit NYC in…ever. This take on the media coverage is pretty spot on, however.

 
 

Of course Arse rocket has the constitutional right to frightpiss himself at every possible occasion due to he is asskeart of teh gubblement, but it would be nice if he could learn to do it in private. Also he could get hisself some adult diapers.

 
Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus
 

POOP?

 
Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus
 

POOP!

 
 

POOP?

the sad part? You sooo know that has been 34ed.

 
 

the sad part? You sooo know that has been 34ed.

I can verify that as a certainty.

What?

 
 

You sooo know that has been 34ed.

Wow, I think you just invented a verb!

 
 

Now they want to abolish the National Weather Service while a hurricane strikes the east coast. It could have possibly been a category four, and only dumb luck that it weakened enough to prevent a major disaster. God these people are sick.

Screw it, growlers are $4.00 off on Sunday so I am going down to fill mine with this: http://block15.com/beer/ridgeback-red and enjoy a couple glasses of this: http://block15.com/beer/ferme-de-la-ville-provision

 
 

RON PAUL: The government’s not responsible for your safety, that’s why we have a Second Amendment.

So when someone steals my car I’m supposed to use my Junior Detective l’il CSI kit to track them down?

 
 

So when someone steals my car I’m supposed to use my Junior Detective l’il CSI kit to track them down?

Make sure there’s loud technopop playing while you perform endless, repetitive, boring tasks. Then shoot someone.

 
 

Make sure there’s loud technopop playing while you perform endless, repetitive, boring tasks. Then shoot someone.

Don’t forget the blue filters and weird, fluorescent lights.

 
 

[…] Tintin at Sadly, No! referring to John Hinderaker: “And what would Butt Rocket have said if Obama stayed on vacation?” […]

 
 

You know what really burns me, is these wingnut pricks talking about Katrina as if it were some combined failing of FEMA and the fucking local governments, when it fact it was a profound and horrid example of how the Republicans just don’t give a shit! I mean I don’t give a rat’s ass about what FEMA, etc, did or didn’t do. Pure and simple, the neglect and incompetence of Bush and the whole corrupt misadministration caused people to DIE. Period. And Assraker’s spewing is just more projection trying to cover up that criminal neglicence. I know this is a humor site–and it’s one the fucking best–but like tsam I just can’t laugh at this this destructive lying garbage anymore.

 
 

Damn this this shit is makin me stutter

 
 

So when someone steals my car I’m supposed to use my Junior Detective li’l CSI kit to track them down?

No, you’re supposed to have contracts w/ LoJack (to find it) & Blackwater (to recover it).

Of course, if the car theft ring has deeper pockets than you, expect them to offer the mercenaries more than you offered. Free markets, loser!!

 
 

Don’t forget the blue filters and weird, fluorescent lights.

And don’t forget the painfully obvious and criminally shitty dialog:

“If we find the person who shot this guy in the face with a gun, then we’ve found our killer”.

In their defense, I had no idea that was how a murder investigation was conducted–UNTIL I WAS 5 YEARS OLD.

 
 

I know this is a humor site–and it’s one the fucking best–but like tsam I just can’t laugh at this this destructive lying garbage anymore.

Yeah, I know–I keep waiting for the point where at least a few of them go “oh jesus, really? I know we don’t like Obama, but this is getting kinda dumb, don’t you think?”. Haven’t seen it yet.

It’s pretty sad when the entire Republican field of plausible presidential candidates is completely and utterly insane. There is one who is only marginally fucked up, and he’s as good as gone after mentioning that there just might be something to this whole “science” thing that God hates so much. BUT we must keep laughing. They believe this shit because they’re dumb, and middle America isn’t quite that dumb, despite outward appearances.

 
 

Also the overworked Lab staff.
“Hey there cutey, I got some Blood I want you to DNA”
“Gee I don’t know, I’ve got work stacked up for 2 weeks”
“Boyish charms and a perfect teeth smile”
“Well, Ok, Sheesh”
10 minutes later “We have tracked it down to Arthur al Baden, 21 Islamofascist Crescent.”
“Thanks Toots”
And in real life number two line reads “Take a number bub. My gels are up the hoo ha and northing’s happening until I get it sorted.

 
 

Make sure there’s loud technopop playing while you perform endless, repetitive, boring tasks. Then shoot someone.

Don’t forget the blue filters and weird, fluorescent lights.

The mangos >puts on sunglasses < are to die for.

YYYEEeeeAaaaahhhh!!!

 
 

“Make sure there’s loud technopop playing while you perform endless, repetitive, boring tasks. Then shoot someone.”

ROFL. Mr. Slayer calls it “Investigatin’ Music.”

 
 

Make sure there’s loud technopop playing while you perform endless, repetitive, boring tasks.

What the Frau Doktorin and I do in the bedroom is no concern of yours.

 
 

ROFL. Mr. Slayer calls it “Investigatin’ Music.”

I think we have to send a probe into this pit in order to see if there’s a baby in it somewhere…

 
 

Yeah, I know–I keep waiting for the point where at least a few of them go “oh jesus, really? I know we don’t like Obama, but this is getting kinda dumb, don’t you think?”. Haven’t seen it yet.

Peak Wingnut ISNOTREAL!!!

 
 

What could possibly go wrong?

Whoa. This proves your previous statement, yes?

 
 

Why do many atheists hold a hatred toward a creator they say doesn’t exist? How can you hate something you claim doesn’t exist??

Why are wingnuts so in love with the self-refuting argument? Oh, wait, I know this one–they’re fucking illiterate.

 
 

My family and I would sure like to know how many of those 109,000 are ADMITTED atheists ! Perhaps we may actually know some . In which case we could begin to witness to them and warn them of the dangers of atheism .

And then we can make a registry of Jews, so we could begin to witness to them and warn them of the dangers of Judaism, the principle one being living in close proximity to fundamentalist lunatics.

 
 

I tried being a closeted atheist, but it got claustrophobic.

 
 

I mean , think about it . There are already National Registrys for convicted sex offenders , ex-convicts , terrorist cells , hate groups like the KKK , skinheads , radical Islamists , etc..

Well gosh, pastor stupidface, I have thought about it. First of all there is a registry for sex offenders, but not for any of the other groups you mention, unless you’re talking about law enforcement data collection, which itself is walking a thin constitutional line at best.

So let’s see, KKK, skinheads, sex offenders, terrorist cells and athiests? Really? You don’t see an issue here? If not, you should probably stick to humping the fat wives in your congregation and leave the blogging to the professionals like Pastor Swank, mmk?

 
 

( e.g., if an atheist’s name happened to be “Phil Small” )

GODDAMNIT. I just wasted like, 2 minutes trying to uncover an allegorical connection to this name–only to be painfully reminded that this is likely the name of a real atheist this fool has met.

 
 

If not, you should probably stick to humping the fat wives in your congregation and leave the blogging to the professionals like Pastor Swank, mmk?

Or the husbands!

 
 

There are already National Registrys for convicted sex offenders , ex-convicts , terrorist cells , hate groups like the KKK , skinheads , radical Islamists , etc..

I’m all for a National Registry for piss-poor spellers!

 
 

Putting Atheists on a “National Registry” – What Say YOU ?

Now that is a cool site.

Pastor Mike preaches at the Living Water Church. “He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:37-38) This is the only Christian church I’m aware of that makes the act of urination a fundamental part of its belief system.

 
 

“I’m all for a National Registry for piss-poor spellers!”

Yew BASTERD!

 
 

Putting Atheists on a “National Registry” – What Say YOU ?

This sort of has that same feel as Elvis writing to Nixon and offering his help in combatting drugs among the youth of our great nation….Or Tom Cruise giving Matt Lauer the goddamn business over just how evil psychiatry is…

Ah, psychos. The world we be so dull without you…

Shine on, you crazy motherfuckers!

 
 

He IS glurious, therefore neither.

 
 

Someone outta tell Jesus’ General that Pastor Mike is stealing his schtick.

 
 

This sort of has that same feel as Elvis writing to Nixon and offering his help in combatting drugs among the youth of our great nation….Or Tom Cruise giving Matt Lauer the goddamn business over just how evil psychiatry is…

I’m surprised he doesn’t call for registering all local gays so his cruising prospects can improve. How soon before the good pastor gets caught up in a Craigslist scandal?

 
 

Are there no others amused by Pastor Piss Water’s abuse of commas?

 
 

There are already National Registrys for convicted sex offenders , ex-convicts , terrorist cells , hate groups like the KKK , skinheads , radical Islamists , etc..

All secret, surreptitious, clandestine, underground, or otherwise concealed terrorist cells are required to submit TBV45 Forms on an annual basis, postmarked no later than February 1. Terrorists should clearly print all requested information in black or blue ink. Submissions in pencil or blood will not be accepted. Each splinter group or expelled faction must send in a separate notarized form.

 
 

My favorite thing about pastor mike’s thingie is the whole “gotcha” tone. I mean it has the stink of middle school IN-YOUR-FACEing all over it. I mean, Srsly, are 12-year-olds even allowed to be pastors?

 
 

I like how lazy his transparent plea for terrorism targets for harassment is.

I mean, c’mon, man, any number of whackjob churches in small HAYUL-JAYSUS type towns have compiled intricate lists of former worshippers, demon-spawned strip clubs and boozers, and random non-believers to “gently” suggest they leave town before somebody accidentally cuts their brake lines or sets their houses on fire.

But no, no, you lazy fuckers want BIG GOVERNMENT to step in and compile a neatly summarized list of potential targets for you.

C’mon, where’s that JOHN GALT spirit? Put some pride in your KKK tactics? Good old fashioned hard work and can-do American spirit that you people always claim you have.

There’s only one skill you inbred crackers have left and it’s cowardly number-based terrorism.

I demand a little pride in your craft.

 
 

My family and I would sure like to know how many of those 109,000 are ADMITTED atheists !

I dunno, maybe so you could really be sure you identify them you could make them sew some kind of cloth badge or symbol onto their clothing.

 
 

My favorite thing about pastor mike’s thingie is the whole “gotcha” tone. I mean it has the stink of middle school IN-YOUR-FACEing all over it.

Verbatim Pastor Mike:

To my poor lost, hateful and deluded atheist friends.

“Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?” (Matt.23:33)

ANSWER: J-E-S-U-S!

I have no idea what you’re talking about VS.
.
Also, we are SO burned

How are we going to counter Jesus, especially when he’s spelled out with dashes and in capital words? I’m afraid we can’t. He has deftly maneuvered around our crafty “so your’s face” defense and even our patened last minute “stop hitting yourself”. I’m afraid he’s left us all devastated with the weight of his convincing argument.

J-E-S-U-S indeed, my friends.

 
 

Frankly , I don’t see why anyone would oppose this idea – including the atheists themselves

Yeah, it’s not like these sorts of lists have been used by anti-abortion zealots in this country to incite harassment, vandalism and even outright murder against doctors and their employees or anything. Silly atheists, being scared of lists.

 
 

[twelveyearold] Maybe they don’t want to be in your stinky Pastors club, maybe they have better stuff to do, like, THINGS THEY CAN”T TELL YOU, because you are, like, a jerkoff. ha ha ha. [tweleveyearold]

Just making sure that VS does not get the wrong idea. I still expect a flounce however.

 
 

Carry on good people- I’m going home after a thirty hour workapalooza. Damn, the electricity had better be working when I get home.

To sum up my weekend, I spent the night with Irene, but she didn’t fuck me.

 
 

Oh, geez. Update from PastorMike.

This guy is a veritable wellspring of “living water”, ain’t he?

 
 

Erm, my last comment makes more sense in response to B^4.

 
 

Oh, geez. Update from PastorMike.

I especially liked the part about Mother Teresa frying in hell.

This guy is like Grant Swank on meth. I love it.

 
 

Pastor Mike has gone comma crazy.

Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon

 
 

Hogeye Grex-

Oh my fucking God, is that his actual picture on the graphic?

Wow, that’s the most pathetic non-shopped photo I’ve seen in my life and I read this site. And I swear the second photo is a Nazi propaganda poster that he substituted the word “Godless” for “Jew” in.

And love his attempt at a point. “Damn it, if you have the gol durn evil intent of being some faggy atheist in PUBLIC where people can find you, you can’t complain when we burn a cross in your yard. And besides what was the problem back in the day of noting who was PUBLICLY black and getting some old fashioned justice. Hey, ever notice that PUBLIC sounds like PUBIC, because I think I just stained my nacho-cheese-smeared shorts again.”

What a maroon.

 
 

Pastor Mike has gone comma crazy.

He’s in a creative writing workshop with Stephenie Meyer.

 
 

He’s in the twilight of his writing career.

 
 

And I swear the second photo is a Nazi propaganda poster that he substituted the word “Godless” for “Jew” in.

Worse. The modified form was originally anti-dominionist snark that the good pastor decided was an accurate enough description of his own views that he’d pirate it.

And yeah, I knew I’d seen that image before.

 
 

I especially liked the part about Mother Teresa frying in hell.

I larfed too.

Dude. You’re talking about a fucking nun, and one that’s on the short list for Sainthood.

Can’t make this shit up.

 
 

Can’t make this shit up.

Besides, anyone who knows their Dante knows that Theresa qualifies for the lake of ice.

 
 

Putting Atheists on a “National Registry” – What Say YOU ?

Pastor Mike is trying to be satirical, but is not clear on the concept of “satire”… especially the bit about “revealing the ludicrous or inhuman core of your opponent’s position rather than your own”.

 
 

Knowing your Dante

 
 

Registering the atheists.

 
 

Shorter Donalde = I found Tintin’s new post ridiculously easy to fap to … BOOKMARK IT LIBZ!!!

we could begin to witness to them and warn them of the dangers of atheism

******* Atheism: come for the common sense, stay for the danger! *******

 
 

I’m not looking, but I am certain that somewhere in the Blargosphere there’s a fReichtard blog devoted to analyzing the IslamoFEMAcommunisACORNqueerpanther symbolism that is evident in Obama’s ties.

 
 

Eh, at least it’s indoor work with no heavy lifting.

 
 

Kerning the necktie

 
 

Elucidating the euphemism.

 
 

I’m not looking, but I am certain that somewhere in the Blargosphere there’s a fReichtard blog devoted to analyzing the IslamoFEMAcommunisACORNqueerpanther symbolism that is evident in Obama’s ties.

What makes it easy is that every color out there represents something that wingnuts hate. Red = commies, Blue = Democrat Party, Green = hippies, Purple = fagnits, etc. It’s the perfect mental exercise for someone too stupid to understand critical thought.

 
 

Pinstripe spacing interpretin’ music.

 
 

Pastor Mike

Hey look, it’s President Perry’s leading candidate for DOJ Attorney General.

 
 

DID WE COZ A UPDATE? I HERD WER ILLITERIT!

 
 

OMFG WATCH TEH FUCK OUT!

PUBLIC NOTICE: And , one more thing , any e-mails I receive , I will consider them MY property , and WILL , from this point forward , take it that any e-mails and/or electronic transmissions you send me are MY property , and that by sending them you are giving me permission to PUBLICLY post any and all info in them in any forum , written or otherwise that I so choose , as well as distributing the info to anyone and in any way I so choose – up to and including the e-mail and / or your ISP info!

 
 

Screw it, growlers are $4.00 off on Sunday so I am going down to fill mine with this: http://block15.com/beer/ridgeback-red and enjoy a couple glasses of this: http://block15.com/beer/ferme-de-la-ville-provision

you, my friend, are man of taste and class. (but what is a ‘growler’?)

Im flying back to europe for two weeks tonight, and I can already taste the proper beer on my lips, but which to start off with, some ass-kicking bock beer, or a decent witbeer… its a big decision, but a good decision to have…..

 
 

Now , I’m not even going to bother preaching the TRUTH of God’s Word to them in this post , as I’ve learned that when one isn’t inclined to even LOOK for the TRUTH in God’s Word…… blah, blah……”

pastor Mike is trooofie…. the secret is out, bookmark it, libs……

 
 

Dude. You’re talking about a fucking nun, and one that’s on the short list for Sainthood.

A Catholic nun. On the shortlist for Catholic sainthood. Catholics haven’t been Really American (TM) for more than a couple generations and there’s a ton of voices left in the fundie community that think they never should’ve been.

 
 

John Hinderaker, Powertools IV:
How to Politicize a Hurricane.

The man’s logic is impeccable. FEMA is a Federal agency and therefore an ineffective rigid bureaucratic waste of money. This follows from Randian first principles and is all objectivist and shit so no room for argument there.

It follows that anyone who tries to make a Federal agency work is trying to make something look good that is not good; they are politicising it.
In particular, by trying to ensure that FEMA copes with a hurricane, Obama is politicising the hurricane, by using it as an excuse to ensure that FEMA copes with it. Which would make FEMA look good. Which it can’t be.

 
 

What makes it easy is that every color out there represents something that wingnuts hate. Red = commies, Blue = Democrat Party, Green = hippies, Purple = fagnits, etc. It’s the perfect mental exercise for someone too stupid to understand critical thought.

This is brilliant and also true, too. It’s the natural result of only seeing things in black & white.

And only liking the white parts.

 
Fenwick who questions everything
 

Did anyone else notice that Pastor Mike named his dog ‘Rebel’? I wonder what breed the poor creature is?

 
 

Why does a Fenwick always answer a question with a question?

 
 

A Catholic nun. On the shortlist for Catholic sainthood. Catholics haven’t been Really American (TM) for more than a couple generations and there’s a ton of voices left in the fundie community that think they never should’ve been.

And an Albanian one at that. A whiff of the dusky there for such genteel Floridian sensibilities. Besides. She helped those people, don’t you know.

But for some smarmy cocksnorkle like Pastor Mike to assert that a woman who, whatever her faults, spent most of her 87 years actually trying to walk the walk in her Christian faith is somehow “unsaved” and burning in hell because she’s an “unbeliever” is still amazing. Okay, Mike. Did you think that somewhere along the road of renouncing her secular existence to follow the teachings of Christ that she had forgotten to accept Him as her Personal Savior? Fuck, dude. The Big JC has the bint on speed dial. You, on the other hand, need to worry. Fleecing the marks, while lucrative and standard fare for sideshow hucksters like yourself, is generally frowned upon in The Text that you so love to bash others with. Just sayin.

It’s things like this that make the odd union of conservative Catholics, and stranger yet – Mormons, with the evangelicals hard to understand. To the fundies, those folks are going to burn right alongside the Muslims and Pagans, and they are just as deserving of hatred and violence. Fucking weird.

 
 

I wonder what breed the poor creature is?

What do you think? A Jesus Hound.

 
 

Also, too. Just after the Mother Teresa bit, he says

Now , I’m used to being called “hateful,” “bigoted,” etc..blah..blah..blah.. ,

Ya don’t say.

 
 

But for some smarmy cocksnorkle like Pastor Mike to assert that a woman who, whatever her faults, spent most of her 87 years actually trying to walk the walk in her Christian faith is somehow “unsaved” and burning in hell because she’s an “unbeliever” is still amazing.

My experience with fundies is that a hell of a lot of them basically believe they know who’s “really” Christian and who’s not, and are by no means shy about letting everyone know their conclusion.

Okay, Mike. Did you think that somewhere along the road of renouncing her secular existence to follow the teachings of Christ that she had forgotten to accept Him as her Personal Savior?

Not to defend him or anything, but I think I recall that when Mother Teresa’s memoirs came out, it turned out she’d been wracked with doubt all along about a bunch of things, including God. That’s probably what he extrapolated the “she’s an unbeliever” from.

 
 

It’s things like this that make the odd union of conservative Catholics, and stranger yet – Mormons, with the evangelicals hard to understand. To the fundies, those folks are going to burn right alongside the Muslims and Pagans, and they are just as deserving of hatred and violence. Fucking weird.

What’s always weirded me out was the alliance and complete lack of criticism for Sun Myung Moon. The guy basically claims to be God, as in Jesus, for crying out loud. If you’re not one of his followers, you probably ought to consider that the height of blasphemy. But they’re all best friends.

If I had to guess, it’s all just politics. They need other religions to serve as Ultimate Enemy Of God, but they also need other religions’ help in order to remain mainstream (imagine how much clout the religious right would lose if they lost their Catholic component). Some religions, like Islam and paganism, serve the former purpose, others, like Catholicism and Mormonism, the latter. Depends on how much clout these religions bring to the table and how “American” or “foreign” they look in the eyes of the public.

 
Fenwick who questions everything
 

Why does a Fenwick always answer a question with a question?

Why should I reveal the Dark Purposes of my grim and diabolical experiment?

 
 

To the fundies, those folks are going to burn right alongside the Muslims and Pagans, and they are just as deserving of hatred and violence. Fucking weird.
What’s always weirded me out was the alliance and complete lack of criticism for Sun Myung Moon.

Recall this theological insight from some random Talivangelist brought to us a few days ago by HTML Mencken, where we learned that although christians and muslims and hindus may have a few professional differences, they are all superior to atheism:

This is true whether we’re talking about Christian marriage, Muslim marriage or Hindu marriage. So inventing one’s own kind of living arrangement and calling it “marriage” is anti-theistic. It defies not only the biblical God, but the concept of any deity greater than Self.

SRSly. Dan Popp prefers to deal with people who are going to hell than with people who don’t believe in hell. In terms of any christian theology, Hinduism is meaningless idolatry at best, out-and-out devil-worship at worst… but at least it accepts the crucial precept that human beings are inferior to some variety of invisible sky fairy.

 
 

completely o/t question for the grammar experts among you?

Do you/can you pluralise acronyms? for example if you were “acronyming” Demented Brainless Wingnuts, would it be DBW or DBW’s? I feel it should be the former, but am not convinced.

 
 

On the shortlist for Catholic sainthood. Catholics haven’t been Really American (TM) for more than a couple generations and there’s a ton of voices left in the fundie community that think they never should’ve been.

Within the northern Irish and Scottish protestant communities I was brought up in they were defiantly not considered Christian and the pope commonly referred to as the anti Christ. My sweet old maternal grandmother used to comment that they were idol worshippers, cause of the whole Mary thing. Check out Ian Paisley, a NI rabid proddy for some great quotes.

the argument, as far as I recall, was that the true church was stolen from Christ by the Catholics round about 150AD, who were actually servants of satan. The reformation was the first step to winning it back, and the battle goes on………

religious tolerance, how does it work?

 
Fenwick who questions everything
 

Perhaps use a lowercase ‘s’ for the plural form, attached directly to the acronym? DBW for singular? DBWs for plural ? Would that work?

 
 

My experience with fundies is that a hell of a lot of them basically believe they know who’s “really” Christian and who’s not, and are by no means shy about letting everyone know their conclusion.

Yeah. I suppose I should be thankful they don’t all just stand around doing the full Sutherland all day long, though they’re not far off, are they?

As to doubt, I thought the more realistic faithful understood it was part and parcel of the experience. If you don’t have doubt, and overcome it, it’s not really faith. It’s just blind herd following. Oh. Right. Fundies.

The Moonie thing is really creepy. The whole crowning ceremony bit was amazing. I mean, this is a guy who started a cult that we all made fun of for years and then gets taken seriously in DC as soon as he snaps his fingers and calls it “Christian”. Of course, donating boatloads of cash does tend to get the attention of our elected representatives.

 
 

but at least it accepts the crucial precept that human beings are inferior to some variety of invisible sky fairy.

Yeah, they all hate the fuck out of the competing brands of snake oil, but it can’t hold a candle to the hate they have for the guy who mentions that it’s all poison.

 
 

Check out Ian Paisley, a NI rabid proddy for some great quotes.

Now Baron Bannside, member of the House of Lords.

 
 

Yeah, they all hate the fuck out of the competing brands of snake oil, but it can’t hold a candle to the hate they have for the guy who mentions that it’s all poison.
Professional courtesy.

 
 

I’m thinking Buttrocket could blow harder than Irene…

 
exford legs, of the Democratic Evangelical Reform Party
 

I with Fenwick: DBW for a singular and DBWs as a plural

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Oh, I was going to make with the clever. I was going to be teh funneh lulz cat. But some Kid wrote the following:

“That picture looks like a publicity still from a Steven Hawking-themed porno. I mean, I know it isn’t really, because I’ve seen all of them, but still.”

We can desultorily josh around and maybe still have a good time in this twilight time after that comment, but that, people, is a category killer. The internet has been won.

 
 

More Power Line fun!

Shorter Scott Johnson:

Affirmative action baby

The president is one dumb nigger.

 
 

Frankly , I don’t see why anyone would oppose this idea – including the atheists themselves

Sure, why not. Maybe you can put “surveyor’s marks” over their faces.

I also like how he calls people slow and stupid for not stumbling on his oh so vital blog for a while.

 
 

Do you/can you pluralize acronyms?

jim delivers: http://www.acronymsearch.com/documents/FAQ_004.htm

 
 

But RBI? Runs Batted In? There’s the trouble! RsBI? RBIs?

 
 

And this from the article Assrocket is so furiously mocking:

“It’s going to be a long 72 hours. Obviously a lot of families are going to be affected … the biggest concern I’m having right now has to do with flooding and power,” Obama said during the videoconference.

“(It) sounds like that’s going to be an enormous strain on a lot of states” that could last days, or even longer in some cases, he said.

An observation which turned out, of course, to be exactly right.

 
 

M.

An RBI is a single unit…hehe…so RBIs would be correct.

 
Consumer Unit 5012
 

Just to throw more gasoline on the fire, I’ll mention that Mother Theresa apparently wasn’t all THAT great.

Christopher Hitchens goes on about her at great length, but he’s not the only one I’ve heard complaining about her.

http://www.positiveatheism.org/writ/mother.htm
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2000/sep/20/raekhaprasad.lukeharding
http://www.newstatesman.com/200508220019

And so on….

 
 

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