Jul
8

Rethinking Slavery




Posted at 17:19 by Tintin


ABOVE: Bob Vander Plaats

Shorter Bob Vander Plaats1, THE FAMiLY LEADER:
THE MARRIAGE VOW: A Declaration of Dependence upon MARRIAGE and FAMiLY2

  • It was far, far better for all the little pickaninnies to have been born as slaves in the 1800s than to be raised now in a one-parent family during the reign of the Kenyan Devil President.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

1Vander Plaats, who is too crazy even for Iowa voters, ran a failed campaign for governor of Iowa. He is obsessed with gay marriage and has gone so far as to argue that if you let the gays get married, they will take away your guns.

2This is a pledge which Vander Plaats wants political candidates to sign. Not surprisingly, Michelle Bachmann was the first candidate to sign it.

195 Comments »

  1. Marco said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:34

    I hope this person considers suicide early and often.

  2. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:38

    just once i would like to be #1 on a new thread…but i will happily settle for #2

  3. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:41

    Our exceptional and free society simply cannot endure without the transmission of personal virtue, from one generation to the next, by means of nurturing, nuclear families comprised of sexually-faithful husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.

    geez…it always goes back to the anthonys, dudn’t it?

  4. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:42

    From the pdf (harrumph, harrumph!):

    END NOTES AND SOURCES:
    1 The Marriage Vow is a work product of The FAMiLY Leader (www.thefamilyleader.com), a public advocacy organization affiliated with the Iowa Family Policy Center, and collaborating supporters across the U.S. political and ideological spectrum, who recognize that enduring, healthy marriages are necessary to healthy children and a healthy American society. Sociological data squares with tradition to argue that self-centered adult egos and agendas in American families must be subordinated to the long-term interests of America?s children.

    As if any of these rightwing shitheels cared about “the children”.
    ~

  5. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:43

    That picture just makes me think “THIS… IS… IOWA!!!!!!!!!!!” Not to mention his RANDOM use of CAPS.

  6. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:49

    Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy.

    really? i have been married for 26 years (to the same dood–which is a minor miracle in my family) so how do you ‘splain that i have diabetes, fibromyalgia, and a hideous back problem (thanks golfing!)…also, we are in the shit financially (thanks u of mn!), have a child w/cerebral palsy and mental retardation, a son w/add who was your chronic underachieving student, teh hubby is addicted to smokes and we both drink too much…but hey, i haven’t had any extramarital pregnancies (WTF?), so i got that going for me…

  7. Steerpike said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:51

    I can take this kind of talk seriously from him, only because he has the totally not-ghey name of Bobbed Underpants

  8. N__B said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:52

    the transmission of personal virtue, from one generation to the next,

    If there’s any transmission fluid present, call the nearest social worker.

  9. owlbear1 said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:54

    Just like Republicans were glad to use and PROLONG the American hostages crisis in Iran to ‘win’ elections now too they are willing to hold the entire country hostage to ‘win’.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20077849-503544.html

    “”Where are the jobs?” walking pile of dog-shit John Boehner asked with no apparent self-awareness of the mess he was leaving on carpets.

  10. gocart mozart said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:56

    Back in the day, those negros had jobs!! They were all hard working and none even dreamed of getting state assistance. Those were the days.

  11. Jennifer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:57

    Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy.

    Odd, that, because surveys show that married women are the unhappiest of all groups. Married men and single women rank tops in happiness. And here he wants to pretend this is all about what’s good for the ladies.

  12. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:58

    Back in the day, those negros had jobs!! They were all hard working and none even dreamed of getting state assistance. Those were the days.

  13. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:59

    If there’s any transmission fluid present, call the nearest social worker.

    Are you casting asparagus at The FAMiLY Leader’s seminal work?
    ~

  14. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 17:59

    FYWP…
    Back in the day, those negros had jobs!! They were all hard working and none even dreamed of getting state assistance. Those were the days.

    yes, i love how he referred to all the black slave babbies being born into a two parent household…sheesh…

  15. Thread Bear said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:00

    over 70% of African-American babies are born to single parents4 – a prime sociological indicator for poverty…

    About one million U.S. children suffer through divorce each year – the outcome of about half of all first marriages and about 60 percent of remarriages, disproportionately affecting economically-vulnerable families.

    They touch on the fact that the biggest cause of divorce is financial pressures, but there’s not a thing in the pledge about trying to do anything about that. I also like how, in the middle of pledging to institute this version of Sharia law you must pladge NOT to institute Sharia law.

  16. Pupienus said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:01

    “Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence” [citation needed]

  17. Jennifer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:02

    Caption for that photo:

    Unpantsen Vander Plaats’n

    Also, too:

    Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA?s first African-American President.

    Well, perhaps, if the “master” of that child didn’t sell the child or his parents off to people hundreds of miles away. And is he really trying to suggest that the illegitimacy rate has gone through the roof just these past 2 years? Because I’m pretty sure it’s the same now as it was in 2008.

  18. N__B said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:03

    If there’s any transmission fluid present, call the nearest social worker.

    Are you casting asparagus at The FAMiLY Leader’s seminal work?

    I’m saying there’s a vas deferens between my idea of marriage and his.

  19. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:04

    uneconomic,

    is that even a fucking word?

    They touch on the fact that the biggest cause of divorce is financial pressures, but there’s not a thing in the pledge about trying to do anything about that.

    yes, they did: married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability

    wait…whut?

  20. Chris said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:04

    Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy.

    Good Lord. Has it EVER occurred to them that financially unstable people might just be less likely to get married in the first place? I’m not starting any families with my current salary and job stability. Cause, not effect.

  21. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:04

    I’m saying there’s a vas deferens between my idea of marriage and his.

    well, you don’t have to get so teste…

  22. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:06

    Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA?s first African-American President.3

    again…ALL OBAMMY’S FAULT…

  23. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:07

    Vanderdeckerplatzenhooven just doesn’t want our nation to lose its sense and gonad.

  24. Thread Bear said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:09

    I think he’s mixing up the cause and effect here. In his mind marriage stability causes the financial security, whereas all the experts will tell you the the financial security causes the marriage stability. But who would be silly enough to listen to all the experts.

  25. Bob Vander Plaats said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:10

    Experts are fags.

  26. that'stheoneTHAT'STHEONE said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:13

    .

    There was another scheduled multi-location episode of violence, we have strategically mitigated most of the planned instigation. There was a nazi game plan to instigate small hate crime mobs in various locations. Our counter-strategy was a success, with many situations being diffused. There was planned violence on the part of police officers in various locations, and there was some success diffusing these situations. As previously stated, it is the policy of The Pacific Army to refrain from answering to the authority of nazi’s. I would hipe that everyone would use their discretion in these instances, we are trying to prevent violence, and your safety is important to us. nazi policy is one of indiscriminate violence, it is important to acknowledge that they have etechnology which affects many individuals impulse control. It becomes easier to maintain one’s self-control when external influences are understood. That being said, we do not recommend viligante justice and are not affiliated with any such action taken. We, The Pacific Army are finding peaceful solutions to threats, intimidation and violence, and can always use more volunteers. There was one incident that we did not have people to come in and act as peacekeepers for, and there was a casualty today. I do not have any other details regarding this, other than it was a homicide. Rest in Peace.

  27. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:13

    although this post is chock-full of impotence and ass-holery, i am not sure i can tolerate looking at the foto shop of vander splaat…

  28. gocart mozart said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:16

    Boy, the way the help would bray. Sounds that whiplash made.
    Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days.
    Didn’t need no abolitionist state. Every slave pulled his weight.
    Gee, our old estate ran great. Those were the days.
    And you know who you were then, they were nothing and we were men.
    Mister, we could use a man like Stephen Douglas again.

  29. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:16

    Enduring marital fidelity between one man and one woman protects innocent children, vulnerable women, the rights of fathers, the stability of families, and the liberties of all American citizens under our republican form of government.

    i think this is my favorite line…perhaps ‘enduring’ was not the word to use here…all i can think of is ‘the lockhorns’ and their marathon endurance in a love-less, soul sucking marriage…

  30. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:17

    Caption for that photo:

    Underpantsen Vander Plaats’n

    fixxed for better rhymage and flow…

  31. Jennifer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:18

    I think this stunt just underlines what a wuss Obama is for not scheduling a prime-time speech announcing how much he lurves gay marriage. Clearly no one would try to turn teh gheys into a campaign issue to use against him.

  32. N__B said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:18

    i am not sure i can tolerate looking at the foto shop of vander splaat…

    Lie back and think of England AMURIKA! brewers’ yeast beer.

  33. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:19

    Married men and single women rank tops in happiness,,,

    According to studies conducted by married men in motel rooms on nights that they are “working late”.

  34. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:20

    Vander Plaats said the Family Leader will not support any candidate who declines to sign the pledge.

    i’m sure this lack of support will make them all cry…after all, it worked out so well for this guy: The organization’s chief executive officer is Bob Vander Plaats, a conservative evangelical leader who was the state chair of Mike Huckabee’s Republican presidential campaign when he won the 2008 Iowa Caucuses

  35. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:21

    well, i’ll be! i have not done a lick of work today and here it is already lunch time! and since i am hungover, i am fairly dying for a big ol’ cheeseburger and fries…and lots of liquid…

  36. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:22

    uneconomic – is that even a fucking word?

    It is in Wingnut-American Vernacular English (WAVE, or “Teabonics.”)

    The “un” is related to, but not the same as, the more common prefix that just means “not”. It’s the one used by McCarthyoids in the word “unAmerican,” and means “not wholly subservient to my worldview and therefore the source of a titanic gob of butthurt.”

  37. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:22

    foto

    interesting note: i learned this was a term for the wenis while reading ‘roots’ as a young girl…

  38. gocart mozart said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:25

    Reposted because I’m being OCD about this.

    Boy, the way the help would bray,
    to the sound that the whiplash made.
    Guys like us, we had it made.
    Those were the days.
    Didn’t need no abolitionist state.
    Every slave pulled his weight.
    Gee, our old estate ran great.
    Those were the days.
    And you know who you were then,
    They were chattel and we were men.
    Mister, we could use a man like Stephen Douglas again.

  39. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:26

    gocart mozart said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:25

    thanks for the archie bunker ear-worm…i hate that show!!!

  40. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:27

    but it did make me laff…nicely, done…

  41. Níðhöggr said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:27

    Well, perhaps, if the “master” of that child didn’t sell the child or his parents off to people hundreds of miles away. And is he really trying to suggest that the illegitimacy rate has gone through the roof just these past 2 years? Because I’m pretty sure it’s the same now as it was in 2008.

    Check the cited source; it was published in 2005. So making the connection to an African-American president from 2009- is not racist at all, it’s academic! Also, never mind that slaves were not allowed sanctioned marriages, hence the “two-parent family” reference where MARRIAGE is blasted everywhere else, and of course the two parents were rather committed to staying around. also

  42. that'stheoneTHAT'STHEONE said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:37

    Stephen Hawking has been abducted, it would appear that by one Justin McLeod, and most likely other co-conspirators. There is an interest in his technology, and his effort to end the reign of facist technocrats. It would also appear that some technology was left in his home, and that sort of technology is responsive from a distance. There may be an attempt to return to his residence.

  43. that'stheoneTHAT'STHEONE said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:37

    Overheard last night was strategic planning to abduct Stephen King, who is also a leader in The Pacific Army. I have since heard a rumor that said abduction has taken place, and I await confirmation of such details.

  44. that'stheoneTHAT'STHEONE said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:37

    It is important to be aware that many people that are in opposition to the nazi regime are being impersonated, or replaced by look-a-likes, using a variety of illusion tactics, such as holograms, plastic surgery, facial putty and the like.

  45. jim said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:38

    Vow* ….

    * NOTE: Or, “solemnly attest”. Each signatory signs only in his or her individual capacity as an American citizen and current or potential leader; affiliations herein are for identification purposes only and do not necessarily imply formal embrace of this vow or the sentiments herein by any institution or organization.

    Mmmmmm, is that some slime I smell? Why yes, yes I do believe it is – & fresh from under its parent-rock no less.

    Gotta love the big gobsmacking mound of references at the end … there’s plenty of proof that appending eye-raping fucktons of fine print of an officious & academic mien often works quite well to sucker one’s fellow dolts into thinking that you’re a mental Titan – just ask Ann Coulter!

  46. Spanky the invisible SUPER MONKEY said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:38

    I’m still waiting for that 1 Million Man Castrati Choir before I’m answering any more prayers.

  47. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:41

    Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA?s first African-American President.

    I’m going to close the browser window and pretend I never read that.

  48. Thread Bear said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:41

    Uh oh, look at this un-American commie bastard. He teaches students of all ages that it’s okay to be different. We can’t be havin’ with any that now.

  49. Pupienus said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:41

    Married men and single women rank tops in happiness and find that bottoms are the real winners.

  50. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:42

    Endnote #8:

    No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that homosexual preference or behavior is irresistible,,,

    d00d, you need bettar quality pr0ns.

  51. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:46

    Note for vs:

    I’m sad about RMF, but at least now I don’t feel so dumb about thinking yesterday was Friday.

  52. Pupienus said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:47

    “No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that homosexual preference or behavior is irresistible,,,”

    Lamest self-excuse EVAH.

  53. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:51

    Lamest self-excuse EVAH.

    It is that, but I’m astounded that a wingnut is conceding that high probability is meaningful in any context at all, after all they’ve done screaming about non-proof of evolution or cigarette health risks.

  54. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:53

    I replaced Bobby Fundie-Pants’ marriage with some Sharia Law. Let’s see if there’s any difference!

    New endnote #8:

    8 No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability:
    (1) That society’s interest in the physical, psychological and sociological health of infants, children, young people and other minors is not best upheld through Sharia Law;
    (2) That society’s interest in a healthy, vibrant, and growing indigenous population and workforce to drive economic growth and actuarially support public and private pension, benefit and entitlement systems is in any way advanced by undermining Sharia Law;
    (3) That the longstanding religious liberties of American parents, children, religious and civic leaders who adhere to Jewish and Christian tradition, teaching and sacred texts regarding faithful heterosexual monogamy are not jeopardized by outlawing Sharia Law;

  55. owlbear1 said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:55

    JFK answered to Rome and MMB answers to Vander Pants.

  56. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:56

    Heee hee! Endnote 12.

    12 Justice Scalia?s dissent in,,,

    I hearby vow and/or solemnly attest to something that has already been decided by the highest court in the land as wrnog. Because I lurve teh Constitution.

  57. Lolly said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:56

    Well, perhaps, if the “master” of that child didn’t sell the child or his parents off to people hundreds of miles away. And is he really trying to suggest that the illegitimacy rate has gone through the roof just these past 2 years? Because I’m pretty sure it’s the same now as it was in 2008.

    Check the cited source; it was published in 2005. So making the connection to an African-American president from 2009- is not racist at all, it’s academic! Also, never mind that slaves were not allowed sanctioned marriages, hence the “two-parent family” reference where MARRIAGE is blasted everywhere else, and of course the two parents were rather committed to staying around. also

    Also too note—quite often the “committed father” of this happy, well-adjusted family WAS the master, and the dutiful mother was his rape victim.

    Gotta love the family values people.

  58. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 18:56

    Note for vs:

    omg, it’s just like my dream!

    I’m sad about RMF, but at least now I don’t feel so dumb about thinking yesterday was Friday.

    Don’t feel dumb. Honestly, I thought it was kind of adorbs you were so enthusiastic.

  59. El Cid said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:02

    I support those who believe in true families where the men lead and where those who are successful don’t have to surrender all their success to librul tax and spenders.

    Arab Emirates’ Rainbow Sheikh Exemplifies Record Rolls [Royce] Sales Trend: Cars

    By Tamara Walid | Jul 5, 2011 | Bloomberg

    Sheikh Hamad Bin Hamdan Al Nahyan, a member of Abu Dhabi’s ruling family, is one of the reasons why the Persian Gulf region has become a hot market for luxury cars, even as political turmoil grips other parts of the Middle East.

    Sheikh Hamad, known as the Rainbow Sheikh for his penchant for bright colors, exemplifies the region’s automotive excess. His collection of more than 200 vehicles, which includes a five-meter (16 feet) high replica of a Dodge Power Wagon and a see-through disco car, is housed in a pyramid-shaped museum.

    With demand stoked by profits from oil prices near $100 a barrel, wealthy Arabs are set to buy a record number of vehicles from the likes of BMW’s Rolls-Royce, Fiat SpA (F)’s Maserati and Porsche SE this year. Sales of high-end cars in Gulf countries, including the United Arab Emirates will probably grow 20 percent this year, more than double the overall rate of 9.7 percent in the segment, according to data from IHS Automotive.

    Buying luxury cars in the Gulf is “an extension of the ego,” said Pierluigi Bellini, associate director of Middle East research at IHS Automotive in Milan. Wealthy consumers like “showing off” more than Europeans and Americans, he said.

    The sales spurt will probably continue, with IHS forecasting the market will more than double from 2010 to 2015, compared with a 51 percent increase globally.

    …[T]he mark-up on customized and special-edition vehicles is attracting investment from ultra- luxury nameplates. Bayerische Motoren Werke AG (BMW)’s Rolls-Royce has its biggest showroom in the world in Abu Dhabi. An indoor Ferrari theme park, big enough to fit seven football fields end to end, opened there last year…

    …To grant the wish of an Abu Dhabi buyer, Rolls-Royce crafted a poetry verse out of diamonds, gold, and leather for the interior of a $450,000 Phantom extended wheelbase model. The Goodwood, England-based carmaker also created a color called “Astro Silver Matte” for the exterior of another Gulf Phantom. Such wishes aren’t free. The paint job cost $23,000, according to Rolls-Royce’s Crichton.

    I have to admit being curious about the see-through disco car. However, I don’t see what’s so special about poetry written in diamonds, gold, and leather; I’m pretty sure all of us here still have the annotated Shakespeare collection printed in the same format.

  60. Jennifer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:02

    No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that homosexual preference or behavior is irresistible,,,

    Yeah, I noticed that too. And here I thought the only reason I had never become a lesbian is that I wasn’t attracted to women. Turns out that it’s just because it’s not proven to be irresistable.

  61. Thread Bear said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:10

    And here I thought the only reason I had never become a lesbian is that I wasn’t attracted to women.

    I’m attracted to women, but I didn’t become a lesbian. Although, I am saddened to report that I have not proven to be irresistable either.

  62. Marion in Savannah said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:11

    However, I don’t see what’s so special about poetry written in diamonds, gold, and leather; I’m pretty sure all of us here still have the annotated Shakespeare collection printed in the same format.

    I could’t afford that set, and had to settle for the sapphire-studded single volume version. My life sucks…

  63. jim said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:11

    “THIS… IS… IOWA!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Yer fromage is pretty frickin’ quelle there brah!

  64. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:24

    Now before y’all go all judgemental on that poor Abu Dhabi Rolls-Royce enthusiast, keep in mind that the poetry verse he picked started with “I like big butts and I can not lie”. Also too, it’s subversive because it’s not a Mercedes.

  65. El Manquécito said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:32

    I’m pretty sure all of us here still have the annotated Shakespeare collection printed in the same format.

    Actually, I have the rare “Bluebottle” edition made of brown paper, knotted string and mum’s old drawers.

  66. DJ said,

    July 8, 2011 at 19:41

    Slaves at least had the benefit of stable marriage and two-parent families? Really? So why did the marriage vows of the day last “until death or distance do you part?”

    I learned that, thirty years ago, in my high school history textbook. Mind you, I did not go to high school in Texas.

  67. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:03

    OT – Paragon of Fiscal Responsibility:

    The receipt shows a charge to Ryan’s credit card for $472 — $392 for his meal and the bottle of wine and a generous $80 tip.

    “I didn’t order – they ordered,” Ryan told TPM. “I had one glass, uh, with my water, and when [Feinberg] was talking about how expensive it was, I didn’t even know [the price].”

  68. Jennifer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:03

    Noted in comments over at Wonkette:

    If Michele Bachmann is so against gay marriages, why is she in one?

  69. Roger Ailes said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:04

    “Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA?s first African-American President.”

    I doubt that’s true, given that enslaved parents and children were often sold and separated without consent. To the extent that there were more “two-parent households” among enslaved people, it was because leaving “the household” other than through a sale meant the slaveholder would kill or brutalize you if you were caught.

    And what exactly was the benefit to an enslaved child to being in a two-parent household — did they perform better in school and earn more money, so they could send their own children to college? Did they contribute more to the plantation than one-parent slaves?

    Someone should ask Michelle Bachmann if her own children would prefer to be enslaved with their parents or to have her kick Marcus out of the house.

  70. jim said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:04

    Yet another sadly-true euphemism for our times:

    Vander Plaats Simplex = catastrophic priority failure.

    For whoever doesn’t yet know, these Gottersturmgruppen gits spell it “FAMiLY” because the little “i” is a symbol of their total submission & humility before G to the O to the motherfuckin’ D – & nothing SCREAMS “humble” like puking out a clunky self-righteous manifesto!

    Hell of a genius choice for a handle too, given the scummy associations of many disgraced pols around the original The Family group in DC: from the sound of The Family’s own “motivational sessions” with bigwigs from both parties, they’re stone-cold straight-up Dominionist/Fascist with the lid off (& seem quite proud of it).

  71. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:05

    ,,,to the motherfuckin’ D.

    You rang?

  72. Citizen_X said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:20

    No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that homosexual preference or behavior is irresistible

    Irresistible? Clearly these men have never met Mango.

  73. El Cid said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:20

    …sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household

    Well, if we count the slaveowners as “mother and father” and ‘in a household’ as meaning ‘near a household’, then, yeah.

  74. Turbine Yukon Palin said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:32

    …sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household

    Well, if we count the slaveowners as “mother and father” and ‘in a household’ as meaning ‘near a household’, then, yeah.

    Which father are we talking about here? The one that raped his property?

  75. El Cid said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:35

    Which father are we talking about here? The one that raped his property?

    Yes and no. Both. Either. Who pays attention to all these n****** and how they proliferate anyway?

  76. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:39

    Irresistible? Clearly these men have never met Mango.

    i would do anything for michael stipe…

  77. Níðhöggr said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:49

    …and over 70% of African-American babies are born to single parents4 – a prime sociological indicator for poverty, pathology and prison…

    or President, which in their case is the worst of all.

  78. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 20:57

    If Michele Bachmann is so against gay marriages, why is she in one?

    Oh, SNAP. That is funny.

  79. Another Kiwi said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:00

    a poetry verse out of diamonds, gold, and leather
    I’ve been doing it rong.
    If Vandenputz does truly believe this guff he has a mental problem. I wonder what trauma induced it or if it is a chemical imbalance which he trying to overcome with furtive potassium ingestion.

  80. that'stheoneTHAT'STHEONE said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:01

    It has become the norm for technology to be implanted during routine procedures and surgeries. Medical equipment is enhanced with chips that interact with other people’s implantations and servers. Often, the technologies are not fully developed, still in the experimental stage when implanted. As such, many people may have been unaware for a number of years. People with these implantations require constant chemical adjustments, as the body attempts to reject the technologies, all of which are fused with tissue samples to the body’s nervous system, therefore generating electricity. In the case of implantations after D and C’s, or abortions, the implantation is referred to as an IUD. It is ideally used in conjunction with a standard IUD, as the copper increases conductiviy.

    This technology took years to finish developmental stages, and is now being fully utilized. The similar technology that was implanted in men, known in computer code as {(;) for it’s approximation to the semi-colon}, proved more difficult to activate. It was noted that men with more granular (scar) tissue had successful activations. Scheduled stabbings, that coincided with one another, were organized in order to ensure calibration of the knife wound, and in order to make detection difficult and assessment difficult. The first of these attacks were in Australia. There is now another planned attack of several men that recieved surgeries in approximation to the colon. These attacks are all to occur at the same time, which has not yet been established, and is a multi-nation strategy, including, but not necessarily limited to Somalia, Australia, Canada and United States. Previous attacks have had doctors present, prepared to suture the wounds.
    The Pacific Army

  81. that'stheoneTHAT'STHEONE said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:06

    There has also been incidences of IUD removal, with some sort of solution being inserted into the uterus, I’m not certain of the prevalence of these particular attacks. The IUD is then reinserted in the cervix, and have been performed during break and enters.

  82. Marion in Savannah said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:16

    That’s one strange trolly-thing with all sorts of paranoid shit going on….

  83. The Red Badger of Courage said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:20

    That’s one strange trolly-thing with all sorts of paranoid shit going on….

    Alls I see are dancin’ badgers.

  84. Another Kiwi said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:22

    I has a killy file which renders it gone. It is a thing of great joy

  85. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:28

    That’s one strange trolly-thing with all sorts of paranoid shit going on….

    i know…i always wonder if they are truly trolls or some poor person with some serious mental issues…

  86. CRA said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:33

    “There is now another planned attack of several men that recieved surgeries in approximation to the colon. [...] Previous attacks have had doctors present, prepared to suture the wounds.”

    If you get stabbed in the ass, and there are two doctors present who are totally cool with suturing the wounds right then and there, POLITELY DECLINE and report them to the “Pacific Army,” or something.

  87. Pupienus said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:33

    This morning The Ho was perusing the leftovers when assembling his bag lunch. “How much of the vegetable stew do you want me to save?” (green beans, tomatoes, garlic, zucchini, onion, thyme, all sauted and stewed together in excellent olive oyl. Some other stuff too, just whatever was getting long in the tooth in the fridge). “There’s not _that_ much,” he continued sheepishly. “Take as much as you want” I replied, “take all ofit if you like.” “There’s not that much potato salad….” (baby Yukon golds, par boiled then drained and steeped in rich chicken stock with some pureed garlic, sliced scallions, champagne vinegar, “Dijon” mustard, salt and pepper.) “I want to show off a bit at lunch.” I urged him to take all of it. There were no grilled lamb loin chops left over, they were too tasty.

    A minute or two later he looked at me with a cocked eye* and inquired whether I was planning on fish and chips for lunch. Because it’s Friday and I am a cultural Catholic in some respects. And so I am off to The Frying Scotsman for some excellent haddock and chips, proper chippy shop style.

  88. Jennifer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:39

    I just had more of the gruyere for lunch, with chilled asparagus spears and some slices of Cherokee Purple tomato.

    It was delicious.

  89. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:41

    Killie file.
    ~

  90. exford legs said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:44

    eye-raping fucktons of fine print of an officious & academic mien often works quite well to sucker one’s fellow dolts into thinking that you’re a mental Titan

    Hey!

  91. tigris said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:46

    For whoever doesn’t yet know, these Gottersturmgruppen gits spell it “FAMiLY” because the little “i” is a symbol of their total submission & humility before G to the O to the motherfuckin’ D – & nothing SCREAMS “humble” like puking out a clunky self-righteous manifesto!

    Oh really? I’d figured they spelled it FAMLY and could only squeeze in a little ‘i’ when they were told of their mistake.

  92. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 21:57

    Alls I see are dancin’ badgers.

    My kill file is unadorned! *sad face* And I forgot about it! You’z DAYUD, that’stheone! DAYUD!

  93. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:01

    can i put a killfile on my networked work computer?

  94. Hogeye Grex said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:07

    Our exceptional and free society simply cannot endure without the transmission of personal virtue, from one generation to the next, by means of nurturing, nuclear families comprised of sexually-faithful husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.

    So… how’d we get this far?

  95. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:08

    can i put a killfile on my networked work computer?

    Dunno… can ya? ;)

    It probably only works in Firefox. It does install in Chrome, but does nothing.
    .

  96. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:12

    NOT goatse…

  97. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:13

    Dunno… can ya? ;)

    oh, hardy har, har…stop! my side hurts…

  98. Substance McGravitas said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:20

    NOT goatse…

    Not clicking.

  99. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:22

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Orrin Hatch:

    WASHINGTON — Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) voted against beginning debate on a measure that would have the Senate declare the rich should share the pain of debt reduction Thursday, a day after arguing that it’s the poor and middle class who need to do more. “I hear how they’re so caring for the poor and so forth,” Hatch said in remarks on the Senate floor Wednesday, in reference to Democrats. “The poor need jobs! And they also need to share some of the responsibility.

  100. N__B said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:22

    Goat see, goat do.

  101. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:24

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Orrin Hatch:

    i don’t want him!

  102. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:25

    NOT goatse…

    Not clicking.

    well, if goats like golden showers, i guess it could be considered goatse…

  103. Steerpike said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:25

    Pup, you’re such a connoisseur

  104. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:25

    Take my Hatch, please.

  105. Dot said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:35

    Being a scholarly type, I went to the endnote supporting the argument “a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA?s first African-American President”. Guess what? I couldn’t find any evidence supporting that claim in the report cited. I even searched the pdf for “1860″. It doesn’t appear. What a shock.

  106. vacuumslayer said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:36

    Oh, I will SLAY a thread, bitches! I DON’T EVEN CARE!

  107. bbkf said,

    July 8, 2011 at 22:49

    Take my Hatch, please.

    NO! you can keep your nasty old hatch!

  108. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:06

    Hatch Act.

    Ironically, (and this time I mean it), the Hatch Act was supposed to prevent what Karl Rove spent 8 years of Bush-Cheney from doing.

    Luckily for Karl, our surrender first and then beg for contributions later preznit is looking forwards and not backwards.

    Democrats playing 5-card draw with Republicans: “I got three 7s, but I’ll throw one away if you let me win this hand.”

    Republicans: “Sure!”

    And then the Democrats throw away the third 7 and lose to a pair of 9s. Hand after hand. The Washington Generals try harder to beat the Harlem Globetrotters.

    ~

  109. tigris said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:18

    Guess what? I couldn’t find any evidence supporting that claim in the report cited. I even searched the pdf for “1860?. It doesn’t appear. What a shock.

    NO WAY!!! Actually, thanks because I had wondered what support they had for that odoriferous little nugget, but decided I’d rather practice self-dentistry than give their site hits.

  110. gocart mozart said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:44

    Santorum throws his santorum into the frothy mix.

    http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/07/08/264383/santorum-joins-bachmann-vows-to-oppose-all-forms-of-pornography/

  111. Dot said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:44

    Well, you know what they say: the family that’s owned together, stays together.

  112. Substance McGravitas said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:48

    The pledge not only suggests that “all forms of pornography” be banned

    I gotta get to work on a Bachmann-pegs-Santorum gif.

  113. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:54

    You are feelthy, S_McG.

    (IF that is your real name!)
    ~

  114. Another Kiwi said,

    July 8, 2011 at 23:57

    HANDS OFF FOOD PRON WE SAY!!!!

  115. Substance McGravitas said,

    July 9, 2011 at 0:06

    I gotta get to work on a Bachmann-pegs-Santorum-with-a-cilantro-infused-blood-sausage gif.

  116. exford legs said,

    July 9, 2011 at 0:13

    Compare:

    ‘Bachmann-pegs-Santorum-with-a-cilantro-infused-blood-sausage’ gif.

    Bachmann-pegs-Santorum-with-a-cilantro-infused-’blood-sausage gif’.

  117. N__B said,

    July 9, 2011 at 0:47

    Bachmanm pegs ‘Santorum-with-a-cilantro-infused-blood-sausage gif’.

  118. Pupienus said,

    July 9, 2011 at 1:23

    I said “hold the mustard,” damnit.

  119. Pupienus said,

    July 9, 2011 at 1:27

    Mustard powder, btw, is one of the spices I will add to the breading for tonight’s buttermilk poached fried chicken. I’m fiendish clever wit fried chicken.

  120. N__B said,

    July 9, 2011 at 1:30

    Pupienus, in the kitchen chicken, with a mustard seed.

  121. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 9, 2011 at 1:46

    Sociological data squares with tradition to argue that self-centered adult egos and agendas in American families must be subordinated to the long-term interests of America?s children.

    Unless it costs money.

  122. N__B said,

    July 9, 2011 at 1:48

    self-centered adult egos and agendas in American families

    Why the Filofax hatred?

  123. animus said,

    July 9, 2011 at 1:51

    Obviously he knows homosexuality isn’t “irresistible” since he’s always been able to resist it. No matter how much temptation he exposes himself to. He may have come close once or twice, but each time he does, it proves that he can resist the urge to be homosexual.

  124. Cilantro Lovers of America said,

    July 9, 2011 at 2:03

    I gotta get to work on a Bachmann-pegs-Santorum-with-a-cilantro-infused-blood-sausage gif.

    You know what makes me sad? That out of all that gross stuff, some people would find the cilantro the most distasteful.

  125. vacuumslayer said,

    July 9, 2011 at 2:05

    self-centered adult egos

    Shut up! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME!

  126. M. Bouffant said,

    July 9, 2011 at 2:30

    Is that gay Fat Elvis behind him?

    ========================

    Filofax

    Gee-ziz.

  127. rodertudis said,

    July 9, 2011 at 2:40

    Ya know what really surprises me? that hardly anyone has remarked upon the News of the World closing. Murdoch definitely has mucho big problems. He’s losing millions if not billions of dollars, he has shuttered a historic newspaper, his advertisers disappeared like rats fleeing a burning ship, his deal for BSkyB is in jeopardy, some of his editors are at risk of doing time, the Entire population of England is clamoring for blood, even P.M. Cameron, an erstwhile beneficiary of Fox, has had to make Critical Public Statements (Abhorrent I tell you!). Fox News, naturally, is focused on Dame Casey Anthony, America’s new Trash Royalty, and have not so much as mentioned the happenings in Murdoch’s English empire. What are the U.S. networks waiting for, an invitation? Pile on boys, pile on. Take this S.O.B. down now, while he’s got his cock caught in his zipper!

  128. Another Kiwi said,

    July 9, 2011 at 2:41

    How educated is your state legislator?

    Many states are divesting themselves from support of public higher education, yet most of their legislators, about 80%, have benefited from a college degree from a public institution. Overall, close to 75% of legislators hold a bachelor’s degree or higher, compared to 28% within the US population.

  129. Chris said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:18

    Roterturdis, I think we’re all waiting to see how this turns out. He shut down one tabloid, but corporate empires like his have been able to weasel their way out of so much that I want to see if this really does end up with more than a slap on the wrist. (The guy seems even more powerful in Britain than in America, after all).

    Best comment so far was Balloon Juice’s title “Murdoch, you crazy fool!” today. Although given the kind of Murdoch we’re talking about, a MacGyver reference might’ve been more appropriate than an A-Team one.

  130. Chris said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:22

    @ Roterturdis,

    For some reason my last comment didn’t post… Anyway, I think we’re waiting to see if this really does result in anything more than a slap on the wrist for Murdoch. Corporate empires like his have been able to worm their way out of so much it’s insane, and he seems to have even more power in Britain than he does in America. So, I’m doing the “wait and see” thing, with a heavy dose of “wait and hope” on the side.

  131. Arky said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:42

    There’s a joke in here about the Chains of Love, but I’m too busy repressing an urge to hunt down and inflict GBH upon Bob Gander Splats.

  132. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:44

    If the British actually do cause Murdoch the slightest inconvenience, FAUX Noise will never let up until their lapdogs in Congress declare war against them.

  133. Arky said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:49

    p.s. Don’t you dare call them racists! Also.

  134. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:51

    Or at least ostracize anyone who won’t use the phrase “freedom muffins”.

  135. jim said,

    July 9, 2011 at 3:55

    Dude’s “power-point” seems like it has tons of oom-pah-pah if you mentally squint hard enough, I guess – problem is that there’s that squicky “golly gee gosh I sure do hope that poverty’s become bad enough by now that teh starving mud-ppl would be grateful for going back into chains along with food & shelter” subtext chumping his trope.

    Also, what heinous past-life atrocity was the cilantro-infused-blood-sausage atoning for?

  136. N__B said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:08

    the phrase “freedom muffins”.

    That’s more about Palin cosplay than I needed to know.

  137. MogHoz said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:18

    “No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that” God exists.

  138. rodertudis said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:20

    From Polly Toynbee at the Guardian:

    “Meanwhile, US law may enter the fray. A former Labour cabinet minister has alerted attention to the US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, which makes an American company (News Corp) liable for colossal fines if any employee bribes a foreign official (the Met police) even if no one at head office knew. What’s more, any whistleblower inside the company (sacked News of the World reporters), stands to win a percentage of that fine if they report acts of bribery.”

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jul/08/ed-miliband-broken-omerta-old-monster

    Good article.

  139. MogHoz said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:22

    “The poor need jobs! And they also need to share some of the responsibility.”

    Aren’t they doing that already by being poor?

  140. Fenwick the Stoned and Digressive said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:27

    An odd thread, this one. The main strand of discussion is about the drool of the fool in Iowa.

    And it’s been interrupted by the drool of some other fools, too. (Donts have a killfile myself; as some may remember, old Fenwick is a Luddite.)

    Indeed, the only chrome I know about was on the bumpers and trim of an old pea-soup green 1964 Oldmobile Dynamic 88 (formerly my grandfather’s) which I drove in the early 1980′s. Which leads me to…

    The Old Boat

    I gave the car a nickname, The Old Boat. Old, certainly, two decades of old….and so large and difficult to park, that it felt more like docking some large and ungainly water-craft.

    The Boat, a V-8, seemed to made of cast iron, so big and so heavy, in comparison to the other cars I made left turns with impunity, knowing other cars on the road would just bounce off. Plus The Boat wasn’t worth jack shit, and the other cars were: Let them Beware! And they shall to me Yield; yea, for I am the lawful Sovereign of the Chain Bridge Road intersection.

    I’ve given nicknames to each car of the four cars I’ve owned in my life. I drive them for many years–my third car for two decades; they seem to adopt a sort of automotive personality, their own idiosyncracies. (The Boat seemed to need encourage before the engine turned over on very cold mornings.)

    Plus, when driving solo over long, long distances–when it’s just You, the Car, and the Road–I find it helps to talk, even to an inanimate mechanical device. Helps me stay alert and keeps my mind focused on driving.

    So. Am I completely insane? Does anyone else invent (non-abusive) nicknames for automobiles?

  141. El Cid said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:34

    I heard one of Rupert Murdoch’s papers was in trouble or something. I didn’t know what was going on until I hacked into Glenn Beck’s cellphone and then the entire Universe suddenly clarified itself to me and statues were screaming at me about how progressive socialism was coming to get me and I prayed and prayed and prayed but the magic chalkboard never saved me from the unidimensional point which I am central to and which tries to make politics a religion but also get beyond politics.

  142. g said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:35

    Jesus fucking Christ. I read this story elsewhere, and just have to say, anyone who actually believes that it’s better to be born the property of another person, to parents who can be split apart and sold to other owners, is one fucked-up individual.

  143. El Cid said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:40

    …anyone who actually believes that it’s better to be born the property of another person

    Aren’t we all pretty much the property of someone when we’re born?

    I mean, in that delicate stage after birth where we have no rights, unlike the period as a fetus when we have all the rights ordained by the Constitution for guns?

  144. tigris said,

    July 9, 2011 at 4:57

    No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that homosexual preference or behavior is irresistible,

    So did all these peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstrations show gay people don’t actually prefer what they prefer and that only resistible preference is homosex? Man, I’d love to hear how they made THAT kind of study double-blind.

  145. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:20

    Taking Old One-Eye to the double-blind study.

  146. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:21

    Oooh, oooh! “Freeing the muffin”. How’d I miss that?

  147. justice? said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:29

    In the psych ward. cigarettes confiscated. CIGARTTES CONFISCATED! I can’t stress that enough. It’s prison with a lovely view of the river.

  148. bbkf said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:36

    Ya know what really surprises me? that hardly anyone has remarked upon the News of the World closing.

    i for one am super happy about this…vanity fair had a pretty good story about it an issue ago…

    also, I forgotmhow fricking hideous posting from teh ipaad is…

  149. justice? said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:38

    Thalimode; thallium; synthetic oxytocin (boo-hoo); androsene (grrrr, and also very yucky, because it comes from the testes of mammals); HGH; phosophorence, electricity; pesticides and herbicides and algacides if yer clever and/or from a rural area (makes people go crazy); silver (not suggestible), something special in the antibiotics; progesterone (so the body thinks it pregnant and doesn’t reject its precious bundle); lots of possible interactions with simple things… aspertame in of itself isn’t harmful but add other chemicals and the body’s a lab… or benzene, lead of course; food dyes, especially blue (makes my shoulders all heart-burny, or something); um, finger drumming… roofies and sedatives, ‘noble’ gases (Lighter test… spark up, spark down, spark slow spark fast…. fast up, out you go);

  150. justice? said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:39

    I forgot. Spores. what the hell is this black shit in my nose? It’s from smoking too much. I don’t think so. And I’m coughing up black specks. and radiation. The vibrations are bad for the teeth, that’s why your teeth are crumbling. But they’re soft on the inside, like corn. They break off in shards. This is worse than childbirth. It’s from drinking. You got mouth cancer from smoking. Most people don’t get mouth cancer until they’re waaay older. I don’t have cancer. Why do you think your in so much pain? It was supposed to be non-invasive. It hurts, it hurts. Then I’ll make it hurt more. It hurts to breath. I don’t have cancer. What about the radiation? Radiation? We do it while yoour sleeping. Why do you think your hair is falling out? Why are you so queasy all the time? You have cancer again. It’s a side effect. It’s spread to your lymph nodes. I’m in so pain. You’re a baby and you have no pain tolerance. Yes I do. Anaphalatic shock. The doctor. There’s a lot of granular tissue. Dentist: I Know I removed all of it. Then it’s cancerous. No, I must have missed some of it, on the jaw bone. There was bone loss as well. I look like a neandrathal or something. My jaw is so big. Why is my nose getting bigger? You can breath through it now, can’t you? It’s the hormones. I’m sick. You’re lazy. You make up stories. I’ve been spotting for months now. You’re not in pain. You stress yourself out so much you bleed. It’s your own fault. You need to learn to be calmer. Someone was in my house. How does she know? I didn’t move Anything. The smell. You smell bad. I’m in mourning. No, I’m not. Then why are you wailing? I don’t know. Nobody died and you’ve never lost anyone close to you. Your incompentent. You can’t handle life. Look at you, upset for no reason. You can’t handle anything.

  151. justice? said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:40

    I preemptively mourned the death of my personality, I was in the belly of the beast, digestive thought.

  152. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:41

    Whatever you do, don’t eat pork. Who remembers the pig farmer that slaughtered women and then fed it to the pigs… it was even in the paper, but I don’t think pork sales went down. How could a man with an IQ of 80 kill fifty women? And why do we say that everyone who goes missing has a transient lifestyle, and there is not much that can be done to find them? Why do the police have yellow decals on the cars now? Why is uniform not issue? Why don’t they respond to calls? Why would two separate police departments call me back when I report a crime? Why won’t they come to my home? Why when I hear gunfire do I hear an instant siren, that drives AWAY from the sound? Why are the sirens different now? Why do ambulances keep an eye out for the police? Why do we have so many doctors imported? Where are my health records? Why did I stay in the old nurses residence instead of the hospital? Why are there tunnels under Saskatoon? There are cages at the bottom of water treatment plants. ya.

  153. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 5:46

    There was another scheduled multi-location episode of violence, we have strategically mitigated most of the planned instigation. There was a nazi game plan to instigate small hate crime mobs in various locations. Our counter-strategy was a success, with many situations being diffused. There was planned violence on the part of police officers in various locations, and there was some success diffusing these situations. As previously stated, it is the policy of The Pacific Army to refrain from answering to the authority of nazi’s. I would hipe that everyone would use their discretion in these instances, we are trying to prevent violence, and your safety is important to us. nazi policy is one of indiscriminate violence, it is important to acknowledge that they have etechnology which affects many individuals impulse control. It becomes easier to maintain one’s self-control when external influences are understood. That being said, we do not recommend viligante justice and are not affiliated with any such action taken. We, The Pacific Army are finding peaceful solutions to threats, intimidation and violence, and can always use more volunteers. There was one incident that we did not have people to come in and act as peacekeepers for, and there was a casualty today. I do not have any other details regarding this, other than it was a homicide. Rest in Peace.

  154. John Revolta said,

    July 9, 2011 at 6:27

    New troll is gettin’ old

  155. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    July 9, 2011 at 6:28

    So is the Pacific Army anything like the New Brotherhood Army? ‘Cause that would explain a lot—what with kuru and all….

  156. Another Kiwi said,

    July 9, 2011 at 6:39

    Troll say : “Your incompentent.” which is kinda funny in a limited kind of way for an off night (Simon 1986)

  157. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 9, 2011 at 6:45

    Why the hell do they always have to drag black people into their arguments, whether against same-sex marriage, or abortion rights? They’re the worst concern trolls ever- they hate black people, but they always put on a display of paternalistic hooey.

  158. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 9, 2011 at 6:51

    So is the Pacific Army anything like the New Brotherhood Army?

    It sure as hell isn’t like the New Model Army (protip: crank speakers to 11).

  159. Thread Bear said,

    July 9, 2011 at 8:09

    So is the Pacific Army anything like the New Brotherhood Army?

    I keep thinking that a Pacific Navy would be far more efficient.

  160. El Cid said,

    July 9, 2011 at 8:36

    I keep thinking that a Pacific Navy would be far more efficient.

    Yes, but that would be the obvious approach; we want to surprise the bastards.

    No one would be expecting submarines made of rubber bands and without air apparatus either — you’ve got to learn how to think outside the Davey Jones’ locker.

  161. Hogeye Grex said,

    July 9, 2011 at 10:23

    Obviously he knows homosexuality isn’t “irresistible” since he’s always been able to resist it. No matter how much temptation he exposes himself to. He may have come close once or twice, but each time he does, it proves that he can resist the urge to be homosexual.

    Even the sun go down.

  162. Arky said,

    July 9, 2011 at 11:59

    they always put on a display of paternalistic hooey.

    In this case daddy is an enthusiastic child abuser.

  163. lobbey said,

    July 9, 2011 at 12:22

    I heard one of Rupert Murdoch’s papers was in trouble or something. I didn’t know what was going on until I hacked into Glenn Beck’s cellphone and then the entire Universe suddenly clarified itself to me and statues were screaming at me about how progressive socialism was coming to get me and I prayed and prayed and prayed but the magic chalkboard never saved me from the unidimensional point which I am central to and which tries to make politics a religion but also get beyond politics.

    funny, i had a dream like that the other night, except it wasn’t glen beck, it was Sharia law in stockings and suspenders!

  164. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 9, 2011 at 12:46

    funny, i had a dream like that the other night, except it wasn’t glen beck, it was Sharia law in stockings and suspenders!

    I had a similar dream, only I was delivering a pizza to Sharia law’s place…

  165. N__B said,

    July 9, 2011 at 14:05

    That’s funny. I had a dream that B^4 went past me on the street, riding a pizza delivery bike and wearing only stockings, garters, and a smile.

  166. Sharia Law's Pool Boy said,

    July 9, 2011 at 14:16

    Says: “We didn’t order any pizza.”

  167. gocart mozart said,

    July 9, 2011 at 15:19

    “Thalimode; thallium; synthetic oxytocin (boo-hoo); androsene (grrrr, and also very yucky, because it comes from the testes of mammals);”

    Again with the penis? Get your mind out of the gutter this is a family blog!!

  168. Spearhafoc, who has become a Twitterer said,

    July 9, 2011 at 15:31

    “No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that” Bob Vander Plaats doesn’t still wet the bed.

  169. Spearhafoc, who has become a Twitterer said,

    July 9, 2011 at 15:33

    Sadly, No! won’t let me post!

  170. Spearhafoc, who can't seem to post said,

    July 9, 2011 at 15:33

    Have I been banned, or something?

  171. Spearhafoc, who can now post. said,

    July 9, 2011 at 15:35

    “No peer-reviewed empirical science or rational demonstration has ever definitively proven, nor even has shown an overwhelming probability, that” Bob Vander Plaats doesn’t still wet the bed.

  172. vacuumslayer said,

    July 9, 2011 at 15:52

    Is everybody dreaming of their S,N pals now?Disturbing

  173. Looch, aka Brother Brass Knuckles of Moderation said,

    July 9, 2011 at 16:20

    All these pledges and vows. Keep makin’ them, I says. I wanna see all of these Republican candidates try and maneuver come primary time. And then general election time. MOAR.

  174. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 16:23

    So, it’s not new, or current. So, it might not seem revlevant, it’s easy to dismiss, but I find it interesting… strange causal relationships reported so frequently, one would almost think scientists, media and government had conspired to keep the masses in the dark…this is the state of the world folks… Did you Know (it never gets old, it never gets tired, it never gets worn out) that beavers are responsible for flooding in Germany? Seems they are delaying the construction of bridges, causing hundreds of tonnes of feceS to flow into a river after tunneling their way into a sewage site. The beaver did it? Really? So, water is a wordwide issue… p.s. this isn’t any sort of official statement, merely a ‘news; brief with interesting uses of symbolism… implications such as this suggest to me that someone thought suggestion was suggestion enough. Something to ponder, before pontification. Oh, EU, you alliterates, you.

  175. St. Looch, aka Brother Brass Knuckles of Moderation said,

    July 9, 2011 at 16:33

    Boring pasta troll is boring and overcooked.

    Pleez mezur cukin tymz!

  176. bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy said,

    July 9, 2011 at 16:47

    They’re the worst concern trolls ever- they hate black people, but they always put on a display of paternalistic hooey.

    b^4, just by pointing this out you are proving that you are the real racist…and that’s central to their point…

  177. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 16:54

    It is diificult to imprison a mind. As we experience setbacks, suprise attacks, it is normal to waver, to question the odds, to question who one’s friend are, to be fearful of impersonators. Over the years I have learnt that careful attention before and after a statement is made will most often reveal something if there is deceit involved, that sometimes it’s best to await confirmation of a communication, a further detail, etc. Also, often a message from a friend may be first transposed to someone of questionable honesty, then transposed to yourself, so although the source may not be trusted, it is usually possible to tell if it was their original statement or not. As we had anticipated, there is a number of people that are not part of The Pacific Army looking for recruits, under the guise of our organization. As such, we would ask that all of our volunteers be tactful and discerning. It is always best to trust one’s own judgement. It is our policy to focus on individual rights, and as such, people of The Pacific Army identify their own areas and strengths, and participate in a way that is meaningful and rewarding to them. There is no pressure, we do not approve of underhanded tactics, we are for peace. Organiztions with similar names and those who do not respect the privacy of others (we are exploring options for ending thought monitoring, and take serious issue with technology such as infrared) are not affialiated with The Pacific Army. Also, communication is very important now, many people with information regarding the nazi’s; have had their ability to communicate altered, using a variety of different methods. We would fully encourage anyone with creative solutions, factual data, or people with messages of peace to communicate with as wide an audience as possible, using all available avenues of communication, while respecting the rights of others. That being said, we currently have only three spokespersons for The Pacific Army. Thank you to all who have been spreading the message, and looking for positive solutions, and having heard some of said communication, I can say that although there are those who are unaffiliated with us attempting change our message; I’m very pleased that we have many people working hard to mitigate salicious statements, and so many more are focused on ignoring the negativity and focusing on the positive change we have only just begun to create. This is the approach I find most effective. Sincerely, The Pacific Army

  178. Doctorb said,

    July 9, 2011 at 17:14

    Yeah, so this is pretty creepy:

    http://www.alternet.org/story/151209/the_gop%27s_cia_playbook%3A_destabilize_country_to_sweep_back_into_power/

  179. Doctorb said,

    July 9, 2011 at 17:29

    Okay, I can see a behavior being resistable, but a preference? It sounds awfully strange to suggest resisting liking something, whatever that thing is.

  180. jim said,

    July 9, 2011 at 17:52

    Again with the penis? Get your mind out of the gutter this is a family blog!!

    IT’S, LIKE, OUR OWN INTERPERSONAL FOLKWAY, MAAAAAAN P3N15 !!

    Boring pasta troll is boring and overcooked.

    My new cyber-puppy Killfile Von Twitchysnout looooooves to eat trolls …

    andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 16:54 (unkill)

    … & he’s such a little gentleman that he NEVER pukes them up on my rug, no matter how long or loud they beg.

  181. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    July 9, 2011 at 18:18

    Have I been banned, or something?

    No. I have been though.

  182. Snorghagen said,

    July 9, 2011 at 18:22

    Pasta Troll muttered…

    It is diificult to imprison a mind.

    In my experience, most of them are imprisoned in cranial cavities, but it is true that some roam free.

  183. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:17

    Indirect routes are taken, people are shipped out of country (especially in regards to the USA and Canada, via Hudson’s Bay on steamships (lots of cargo area and little security); given new identities and often sent back to country of origin with fraudulent identification, via plane or vehicle. Many children and adults are hidden interim in Michigan on a ranch, almopst obscured by a forest. There is also Cochin, which I understand to have many long-term residences with abducted persons, but also is said to have some sort of hiding place. There is Shaunovan, it is surprising how many towns have tunnels underneath (in fact all, neccesitated by sewage infrastructure). If anyone knows where the “new” “ghost town” is located, I would be happy to know, and point you away from the old theater, to the holding place.

  184. Pupienus said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:24

    You know WHO ELSE had their brain imprisoned?

  185. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:31

    Many thanks to special interest groups, in their advocacy pursuits. I would like to mention at this time that The Pacific Army is very interested in the rights and safety of THE human, will not be focusing on ethnic, gender, disability or sexuality issues. Please note that many men and boys are also sold into slavery.

  186. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:32

    that human trafficking is everyone’s concern. It is our belief that any instance of threat or harm to an individual has an impact on all of society.

  187. andon said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:33

    As always, ongoing, we need to focus on human trafficking. There isn’t enough people focusing on this issue. Numbers are substantially higher than most people would guess, sexual assualt, torture and murder are a part of life for these displaced people. Focus. Thank you

  188. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:39

    wow, Sadly has been infested with badgers these days.

    At least teh little fuckers are dancing.

  189. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:45

    Seriously, where does this shit come from? Is he copying it from some crazy person site, or making it up just for us? Or maybe generating it with some kind of paranoia algorithm?

  190. Pupienus said,

    July 9, 2011 at 19:56

    Janus node?

  191. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 9, 2011 at 20:24

    BadgerNode.

  192. Jennifer said,

    July 9, 2011 at 20:51

    WhocoodaNode

  193. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 9, 2011 at 21:34

    Good one, Jennifer.

  194. Doctorb said,

    July 10, 2011 at 2:49

    The Pacific Army is nice and all, but I’m still putting my money on the Bellicose Army.

  195. the new chick said,

    July 10, 2011 at 6:06

    hey n_b, i am guessing we both enjoy the art of basil wolverton!

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