David Who? John Who? Mark Who?
Posted on June 10th, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: John Steele Gordon
Shorter John Steele Gordon, The White Street Journal:
A Short History of Political Suicide
- There have been no sex scandals involving Republicans since Bob Packwood resigned in 1995
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Remember during the Lewinsky nonsense, Lary Flynt was able to more or less prevent conviction in the Senate and bring down Bob Livingstone before he’d served a moment as Speaker?
Weiner fucked up bad, but I think its time for Uncle Larry to use sommathat ammo to remind Repubs that they are also public officials, and in general, pedophilic scumbags.
Plus, you know, lulz.
Umm, what about all those men’s room hook-ups? Or “hiking the Appalachian trail” as the kids are calling it? Mmmmm, must be misremembering.
Weiner proves that Democrats are boooooooring in their sex scandals. Sending a private tweet (how long before that becomes a euphemism?), bj in the White House? HA! Republicans go in for three-way ostrich sex when they go down (if ya know what I mean).
Mark Foley really did have a long stance I guess or is he the sex emails to teenage boys guy?
I know, WTF Weiner? Where’s the wetsuit and dildos? Also, he should have been wearing diaper because that is a re-electable offense, at least in Louisiana.
Read that at first as “teenage boys guru”. Next thought, “so he thinks he’s the Pedobear Llama?”
I am pretty sure that “Pulling a Weiner” will now become a euphemism for a sex act.
In Steele Moron’s defense, he mentions Vito Fosella. Although it’s possible that Vito slipped in so that he could get a dig in at New York.
Also in his defense, he’s supposedly writing about career-ending shenanigans and it teh only way a Republican’s career ends with a sex scandal is if he’s gay.
L Ron Hubba Hubba
It was a large and turgid weiner.
Jeff who? Christopher who? dildo wetsuit guy who?
Ayn RANDY Baybay! Oh Yeah!
Conservatives never miss a chance to be hypocrites do they?
It’s was a weee willy and a one-eyed Anaconda!
Rev. Someyoungsonto Moon
With the amount of shit he’s pulling from his ass, I guess a “John Steele Gordon” will soon be the name of some sad coprophiliac act.
It was a dark and porny night.
Now is the hour of my next pup tent.
Who is Dangling Pecker?
“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.”
Wait, what?
@HMDK: Are there really such things as happy corprophiliac acts?
Harry Dork laughed.
Conservatives never miss a chance to be hypocrites do they?
No way. They also never miss an opportunity to tie a pervy wanker of a politician to the decline of morals in our society which eventually leads to NINEELEVEN!!!!!
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Heh heh
Pikers.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a zombie in possession of brains must necessarily be in want of more brains.
Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of poontang must necessarily score more poontang.
Anyone wishing to discuss my article further should meet me in the Penn Station Men’s Room, stall #2, today at 3:30.
You don’t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Buggering Tom Sawyer; but that ain’t no matter.
Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.
I reveal my innerself unto my god.
Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see him jacking-off.
“All this happened, more or less.”
That is either Vonnegut “Slaughterhouse-Five” oe Weiner’s last press conference. I am not sure.
Woodrow Wilson’s most famous piece of political advice was “Never murder a man who’s committing suicide.” Rep. Anthony Weiner’s critics might keep that in mind. The Twitter disaster has undoubtedly ended his hopes of being New York City’s next mayor and may well cost him his seat in Congress.
I realize it’s bad form at the NRO to take the opinions of voters into consideration, but sadly, no!
I come screaming across the sky!
Call my PENIS Ishmael.
I am of two minds about this. In one mind, I think we should let politicians live their lives and criticize them based on policies.
On the other hand, I think the remarkable prevalence among politicians of freaks, cheaters, liars and all-around pervy scoundrels means that we should henceforth start selecting membership in parliamentary bodies by lottery. I’m SURE we’d get fewer entitled jackasses that way.
When Mr. Dildo Bugger announced his next orgy, his 111th, everybody knew they were gonna get laid.
I reveal my innerself unto my god.
Hotcha!
I come screaming across the sky!
Mile high club motto.
Also, that ‘shop is very nicely done. Jes wanted to recognize.
He was an old man who fucked alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without fucking a fish.
This time, Charlie Brown thought, I’m going to be sure Lucy doesn’t snatch my ball away.
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since: Swallow.
The messed up thing Weinergate is that the scandal is so lame. There’s nothing that’s neither (a) believable; nor (b) veering from adolescent behavior.
Two-wetsuits is pretty much the entry level criteria these days for a proper sex scandal. Anything less and the bourgeoisie look down on your pathetic attempt to spin a headline.
This time, Charlie Brown thought, I’m going to be sure Lucy doesn’t snatch my ball away.
That Charlie Brown, always obsessing over Lucy’s snatch.
He smells awful! HAHAHAHAAAHAHA
Ladies and Gentlemen, submitted for your approval.
(Here’s the screengrab of my comment, for those who don’t wish to give the NRO any clicks.)
~
That Charlie Brown, always obsessing over Lucy’s snatch.
She’s a poor substitute for his love for Linus that dares not speak its name.
I feel about AW the same way I felt about John Edwards.
I was an early Edwards supporter in the primaries in ’07. He had name recog from the previous go-round, handsome, southern, articulate, charming, great personal story–AND he was actually talking about poverty, inequality, and the tragedy of the reverse-redistribution of wealth under the previous administrations. He reminded me of RFK. I didn’t care for Hillary, and Edwards seemed far more electable than someone like Obama or anyone else in the primary field at that time.
Imagine if he had taken off like I was so sure he would! What if his dirty little secret had stayed buried until after the convention, and came out after he got the nom? Dear God, what if it came out just a few days or weeks before the general, too late for him to step aside and let the party rally behind someone else? Not only would that have cost us the presidency, but it would have damaged every other Democrat in every other race. We would not only have had President McCain/ VP Palin(shuuuuudddderr), but a solid GOP majority in both houses. Just give that a minute to sink in.
And Edwards KNEW it! He knew his dirty little secret was bound to come out, and when it did, it would destroy his career, his party and quite possibly the whole friggin’ country, but he went ahead and ran anyway!
Look, I’m as liberal and open-minded about sex as anyone here. Live like you wanna live. What happens between consenting adults is nobody’s business, fine and dandy. But when you’re in the public eye, the fact is you have to make a choice between your career and you personal kinks. If you can’t make that choice intelligently, stay the fuck off my team!
What’s up Doc, aside from your dick?
To paraphrase one of my earlier comments: I really like John Edwards’s campaign he seemed to speak to the issues that concerned me and be electable as well, I was very disappointed when he turned out to be a total Gingrich in his personal life.
There’s a rose in the fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
If you can’t tweet with the one you love
Love the one you tweet
OT: Ready, Set, PROJECTJ!
Little mango-let!:
I have no idea what PROJECT J is, but now I’m intrigued!
Ronnie Who? George Who?
Protip For Weiner: Mules never kiss and tell.
Hee hee, vs’s mango is tasty-liscious*: “Who knows maybe you guys can go find big boy things to do instead of being, Oh i dont know….being little internet bloggers who think their incessant rants will somehow change the world. Thanks I love you, and look forward to your lame, sarcastic response.”
*Oh, just stop it, you.
One thing you can count on like an iron law of the Universe is that the louder a conservative speaks on condemning other people for their personal and sexual immoralities, the less likely they are to have hidden perversions and infidelities and the sorts of stuff they condemn in their own lives.
JIM’S HANDY-DANDY GUIDE TO FUTURE NOOKIEGATES:
It’s really easy to know if a sex scandal was spawned from a “D” or an “R” – Democrats nearly always limit themselves to adult female humans.
I have no idea what PROJECT J is, but now I’m intrigued!
Maybe J is an ion.
I’m more disturbed by the fact that there are people out there who either feign or actually are so undone by the sight of a pair of occupied underpants yet are allowed to participate in society as if they were adults.
The only thing more juvenile than sending a clothed crotch-shot is being scandalized by one.
Also, too: let us undertake to compile a list of all the publicly-reported sex scandals of nationally-known GOPers since 1995. I’ll get us started:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mark Sanford
Christopher Lee
John Ensign
David Vitter
Larry Craig
Mark Foley
Dan Burton
Tim Hutchinson
Helen Chenowith
Newt Gingrich
Bob Livingston
I’m sure I’ve left some out. Help me with any I might have forgotten.
Hey Anthony: next time a hot chick smiles at you from across a restaurant, go over there, whip out your dick and jack off onto her salad. Cos WHO’S GONNA KNOW?
On the other hand, I think the remarkable prevalence among politicians of freaks, cheaters, liars and all-around pervy scoundrels means that we should henceforth start selecting membership in parliamentary bodies by lottery. I’m SURE we’d get fewer entitled jackasses that way.
I’ve been a supporter of Randomocracy for years. We’d get a government with more women, more minorities, and less rich middle-aged white male lawyers. Admittedly, we’d get a lot of idiots, freaks and bigots, but that’s what we’ve got NOW.
I’m sure I’ve left some out. Help me with any I might have forgotten.
Because this is teh intarspoor and I am lazy:
http://www.dkosopedia.com/wiki/Republican_Sex_Scandals
Amen, Jennifer.
Speaking of scandals, isn’t it just adorable that post-Citizens United this sort of thing is no longer illegal, or even necessary? Think of how much more the justice department can get done. I mean there are poor non-white people trying to vote and stuff — you know, real problems!
Help me with any I might have forgotten.
Zombie Eva Braun.
Half a dozen preachers who may not be R politicians but damned well represent R values.
Zombie Roy Cohn
Frankly, I’d rather look at a Democrat’s penis than Chris Christie’s face
I’m sure I’ve left some out. Help me with any I might have forgotten.
Henry Hyde comes to mind. He was the House manager of the Clinton impeachment, and a moral values scold.
As Hyde was publicly pursuing the impeachment of Clinton, it was revealed that from 1965 to 1969, Hyde conducted an extramarital sexual affair with Cherie Snodgrass. At the time, Snodgrass was married to another man with whom she had had three children. Although Hyde was 41 years old and married when the affair occurred, he dismissed it as one of his “youthful indiscretions.”
~
I was the shadow of the gamete slain
by the furtive tug and the trouser stain
It was the breast of times, it was the wurst of times.
“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover Weiner’s cock.”
The original site of this page seems to have gone away, but teh Archive has it as it was.
Why, WHY WHY did I not hear of this before?
Digression (but a funny one): Iron Maggie thinks Sister Sarah is “nuts”; wingnut butthurt ensues.
teh Archive has it as it was.
Wow, that’s exhaust
iveing.Frankly, I’d rather look at a Democrat’s penis than Chris Christie’s face
Christie’s face would look better with boxer briefs stretched over it.
I’ve been a supporter of Randomocracy for years. We’d get a government with more women, more minorities, and less rich middle-aged white male lawyers. Admittedly, we’d get a lot of idiots, freaks and bigots, but that’s what we’ve got NOW.
its an idea whose time has come, and i would make it involuntary, i.e. if your name comes up, you have to serve
Why, WHY WHY did I not hear of this before?
Your own fault. It was one of teh links in my rapture song.
Frankly, I’d rather look at a Democrat’s penis than Chris Christie’s face
Christie’s face would look better with boxer briefs stretched over it.
Hey now, he can’t help it if he has a skin condition.
Your own fault. It was one of teh links in my rapture song.
Can you blame me? I thought it was a Rickroll.
wingnut butthurt ensues
<Right Wing Spin Machine>
No no no. Thatcher said Palin has nuts. As in cojones. Figurative ones that is, for standing up to teh Ebil Leftsist Media Conspiracy – not that Palin is transgender or anything. Just very courageous and brave. Not that Palin has any problems with teh trangendered community *wink*. Also algore is fat.
</Right Wing Spin Machine>
Okay, blast fax this to teh 101st Keyboard Commandos.
Ok, the full list:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mark Sanford
Christopher Lee
John Ensign
David Vitter
Larry Craig
Mark Foley
Dan Burton
Tim Hutchinson
Helen Chenowith
Newt Gingrich
Bob Livingston
Vito Fossella
Jim Gibbons
Don Sherwood
Ed Schrock
Dan Crane
Henry Hyde
…that’s 18 since 1995, averaging more than 1 per year. For a bunch of pervert reprobates, the Dems sure are letting themselves be out-done by this bunch.
Hey now, he can’t help it if he has a skin condition.
Hee. I was thinking with a little mustache he’d look like Mr Creosote.
FYWP! I so had semi-colons there! Even that lying Preview said so!
I’ve been a supporter of Randomocracy for years
IIRC one of the pre-Italian city states, Venice I think, did something like this only among a very limited pool of prominent citizens. It proved to be ripe for gaming and corruption.
lobbey – hell, as long as the salaries aren’t changed I’d jump at the chance.
from the maggie link:
He went on to describe himself as a friend of Lady Thatcher, recounting how he once drove her around in a gold cart
seriously? what in hell could have ever precipated such an event to take place?
Ok, the full list
AHEM:
Mike Duvall
Paul Stanley (not the one from KISS)
Bruce Barclay
a bunch of others
Cripes, Roy Ashburn was on my Rapture song too! Does nobody click on my links?
…that’s 18 since 1995, averaging more than 1 per year. For a bunch of pervert reprobates, the Dems sure are letting themselves be out-done by this bunch.
Dems can’t beat the repubs at anything. Fucking limp dicks.
You’re that goatse freak, right?
alright, gang! i am now considering myself officially free of teh nasty smoking habit…wednesday i traveled to mpls/st. paul by my lonesome, whic i avoid at all costs because i get totally lost and the traffic freaks me out…nonetheless, i went…found my hotel with no problems, tackled the traffic like a pro and even went on a crosstown venture to hang out with my son…ALL WITHOUT A SMOKE…which i have NEVER done before! in fact, i felt pretty cool, calm and collected the entire drive…
D-K W, are those all Republicans elected to national office or nationally-known? And did their scandals come to light after 1995?
Does nobody click on my links?
i clicked on you rapture song link and found it to be quite boss…
“On the other hand, I think the remarkable prevalence among politicians of freaks, cheaters, liars and all-around pervy scoundrels means that we should henceforth start selecting membership in parliamentary bodies by lottery. I’m SURE we’d get fewer entitled jackasses that way.”
We do, after all, select juries by lottery, no? Men and women, all races, all sexual preferences, creeds and cultures, religious affiliation, to decide on matters of life and death, literally.
Way to go, bbkf!
I just got back from a week-and-a-half away – went to the beach at Hunting Island, SC…didn’t smoke on the 9-hour drive to Atlanta or the 6-hour drive from Atlanta to Hunting Island…or on the way back. Which is kind of huge, given that I was a chain-smoker when driving. Better yet, only one time on the way to Atlanta, when I was really tired, did I catch myself unzipping my purse and feeling around in it for a cig…that hasn’t happened at all since.
Hot damn girlfriend, we’re some NON-SMOKERS!
Dems… Fucking limp dicks.
Not according to the photo I saw.
Jennifer said,
June 10, 2011 at 19:53
Ok, the full list:
And those are the ones we know about.
I wouldn’t expect anyone here to know who he is, but you are missing the most evil one (no hyperbole intended) my former mayor, the guy who ran against Lieberman for Senate in 2000, and 10 years into a 40 year prison sentence for forcing 10 and 11 year old girls to give him blow jobs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Giordano
IIRC one of the pre-Italian city states, Venice I think, did something like this only among a very limited pool of prominent citizens. It proved to be ripe for gaming and corruption.
Athens used to gather everybody into the town square with a big rope, if the story I heard is true.
But yeah, in my imagined randomocracy, the probable outcome is that you’d develop a class of almost certainly corrupt career civil servants who really ran everything and managed to steer the randomly selected legislators to rubber stamp what they were going to do anyway. Democracy’s still the worst system, except for all the others.
Want To Be Moderator At Right Wing News?
Correction: 10 and 8 yr old girls.
Well a bunch of them are State-level. I haven’t waded through the entire list, it’s hella long – but you’re at least missing Joe McDade.
Or for teh lulz Neal Horsley. Horsley. OMFG.
Well that explains it then, 10 and 8 adds up to 18…
and found it to be quite boss…
Thank you.
Also ” In 2006, Giordano sued the city for back pay resulting from sick days and vacation time.” This is five years after arrest and three after conviction. FN Wow!
Clicking DKW’s links.
Neal Horsley.
Clarence Thomas. Earlier though. 1991.
OMFG! There’s a YouTube.
As it is RMF, this is dedicated to vs.
“Welcome to domestic life on the farm…If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”
Well at least it wasn’t a male mule because that would be totally gay and gross.
Sex Farm?
Awtuh be a law.
I seem to remember the phrase “I’m a fluffy panda” being popular around that time.
Sex farm?
We really should leave out conservative preachers because the resulting bandwidth might kill the Sadly,No! hamsters.
Sex Farm?
This is the take-away quote: “Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.”
In the other seventeen, sex with animals is mandatory.
Jeane Kirpatrick and Bill the Cat!
Hot damn girlfriend, we’re some NON-SMOKERS!
ikr! and, i did a little shopping with what i’ve saved by not smoking…win/win!
If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”
i did not know that mule’s have vibrating cooters…it is true that you learn something new every day!
Here you go.
http://www.republicansexoffenders.com/
i did not know that mule’s have vibrating cooters…it is true that you learn something new every day!
Today…on a very special Sadly, No!…
“I did not know that mule’s have vibrating cooters…it is true that you learn something new every day!”
Freakin city boys!
re: teh list
Didn’t they find Lori Klausutis’ body in 2001?
Freakin city boys!
hey, now! i’m a girl…how could i have known that fact?!?
Ooh, good one! Last item at this link http://www.republicansexoffenders.com/
Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency. See excerpt of one prisoner’s report here and his full report here.
Just a fraternity prank, gm! We need to look forward, not backward.
“I did not know that mule’s have vibrating cooters…it is true that you learn something new every day!”
I think you have to install the “lonely colonist” upgrade.
hey, now! i’m a girl.
Oops. Sorry. I blame the patriarchy.
Also, what about teh Leader of the Republican Party, Big Pharma and his sex tourist trips to the Dominican Republic?
I blame the patriarchy.
as do i, good sir…as do i…
Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons
Holy God, it’s almost enough to make one wish for the return of the gibbet.
I let Don Rumsfeld do me up the butt while Condi Rice watched. But it’s not a scandal if I got preggers, tyvm.
Love the pic in the header.
enough to make one wish for the return of the gibbet.
I miss Giblets too, seems like the all too rare post are always Fafnir now.
I just don’t fucking feel like cooking. Looks like we’ll be having a likwid dinner tonight.
On-topic
ShorterVerbatim Chuck Rangel:That is offered in support of Anthony Weiner.
As it is RMF, this is dedicated to vs.
I’d rather be Rickrolled.
I just remembered this guy!
Back in Washington in 1968, Bundy became a more focused and goal-oriented person. He managed the Seattle office of Nelson Rockefeller’s Presidential campaign and attended the 1968 Republican National Convention in Miami, as a Rockefeller supporter.
After graduating from UW in 1972[45] Bundy joined Governor Daniel J. Evans’s reelection campaign.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Bundy
[Most embarrasing recomendation letter ever!!]
Dean of Admissions
College of Law
University of Utah
Salt Lake City, Utah 84112
Dear Dean:
I write to you in support of the application of Theodore Bundy to your law school. Ted has expressed a desire to attend the University of Utah. It is my pleasure to support him with this letter of recommendation.
I first met Ted after he had been selected to join my campaign staff in 1972. It was the consensus among those of us who directed the operation that Ted’s performance was outstanding. Given a key role in the issues, research, and strategy section, he demonstrated an ability to define and organize his own projects, to effectively synthesize and clearly communicate factual information, and to tolerate uncertain and sometimes critical situations. In the end, it was probably his composure and discretion that allowed him to successfully carry out his assignments. These qualities made his contributions to strategy and policy dependable and productive.
If, however, you are concerned that a political campaign is not the measure of a prospective law student, then I am sure you will look, as I have, at Ted’s other achievements and activities. Look at his academic record in his last two years of college; look at his impressive community involvements; and look at the several law-related positions he has held since graduation. I believe he is qualified to and intent upon pursuing a career in law.
I strongly recommend the admission of Ted Bundy to your law school. You would be accepting an exceptional student.
Sincerely,
Daniel J. Evans
http://students.english.ilstu.edu//smdare/bundy/actualletterofrec.htm
I can’t tell you how put out I am I did not get to make the vibrating mule joke first. bbkf ruins EVERYTHING!
Given a key role in the issues, research, and strategy section, he demonstrated an ability to define and organize his own projects, to effectively synthesize and clearly communicate factual information, and to tolerate uncertain and sometimes critical situations. In the end, it was probably his composure and discretion that allowed him to successfully carry out his assignments
all good qualities in a serial killer…
I can’t tell you how put out I am I did not get to make the vibrating mule joke first. bbkf ruins EVERYTHING!
to be fair, i do not have a babby attached to me, slowing me down 🙂
Babby ruins everything! (But is cute, so it’s ok!)
What’s a babby?
And, how is babby formed?
Weird; Chicago Dyke thought she had found a couple of examples of bad behavior among the members of God’s Own Party.
10 babby = 1 henway.
[Most embarrasing recomendation letter ever!!]
Aw, don’t pick on Dan Evans. He was (is!) a good egg, one of the last surviving moderate Republicans.
Really, what personality type would serve a lawyer better than sociopathy?
#
gocart mozart said,
June 10, 2011 at 20:53
Here you go.
http://www.republicansexoffenders.com/
Thanks for the link. I had forgotten about Haggard, the preacher man. James Wolcott (the Greatest) titled one of his blogs Moral Haggard. I still laugh.
I just don’t get these sickos. And that’s what they are too, sickos. And they know they’re sickos. No doubt about that. Most of the shit they do is not just immoral (according to their own code), but illegal too.
Could it be that because they know they’re beyond human help the only alternative is to hide their derangement behind the christian dogooder curtain, so that no one would ever suspect them and that He will give them a free pass at the gates, because they were doing God’s work?
It’s complicated. I think maybe if I were one of them I would understand it a lot better. (I’ll happily take the ignorant road though) What a hell they must live in! I kinda feel sorry for them, except for that I hate hypocrites worse than I hate people who torture animals. Or the same. The hate burns so hot it can’t be measured.
12 babby = gross.
12 gross = 1 gingrich
So I think it’s pretty much a given that the Dan Evans of 1964 or 1968 would be past being a RINO today, in fact he would fit comfortably in the leftmost 10% of the Democratic Party nowadays. What does the fact that Ted Bundy was his fair-haired boy say about what’s growing under the rocks of today’s Republican organization?
Could it be that because they know they’re beyond human help the only alternative is to hide their derangement behind the christian dogooder curtain
Part of their continual skree-ing about morals, values, yada is an attempt to impose their sad & tired “morality” on themselves. If gay activities weren’t criminalized, they’d have one less reason to resist the urges they so manfully resist. Most of the time.
10 babby = 1 henway.
Here, let me tee that up for you…
“What’s a henway?”
Ya think? I mean, that’s basically the entire basis of Christopath recruitment. Sin all you want, but swing by on Sunday and the Big Guy will take pity on your stained and degenerate soul. The idea of original sin is there so everyone can get in on the fun. The belief that one is inherently a bad person is central to their point.
My hat in the ring, let me show you it.
~
Also, too: “What’s a Greek urn?”
I was kinda hoping for a list of hats.
Shit, I just realized I’ve read one of this chancre’s books. Brain bleach for me!
I’ve read one of this chancre’s books.
Based on the holding status, you may be the only one.
Also, too: “What’s a Greek urn?”
On top of that, “What’s a vurmdu?”
Also, WC: Sorry for the old catalog page—the new fancy one takes about five minutes to load.
How many Phil Gramms fit into an Ezra Pound.
P
ENISVCUntrue. I have a whole kitchen drawer fulla things that can do that.
This is why you should never do home repairs in the nude.
Via McG.:
Perfect conservative show, then. Master Shake is quite the glibertarian, & Meatwad is representative of the typical Republican voter.
The first “moderation” that should take place at that ugly bloated sickening toad’s ugly bloated sickening web log is in the amount of titty pictures on display.
Then we start moderating Mr. Hawkins’ food intake.
Indeed, fat boy must be out eating, as Thunder’s comment is still there.
Substance has been holding out on us.
removing a polyvinylchloride (PVC) pipe entrapped on the penis.
Sure it was entrapped. That hussy was just asking for it.
I was kinda hoping for a list of hats.
The top three reasons I should be a moderator:
1) Tough, but fair.
2) A woman’s touch.
3) Please see my fabulous resume
No ready method has been reported for removing a polyvinylchloride (PVC) pipe entrapped on the penis.
Two words: “Dremel Tool.”
Two more words: “det cord”
Maybe they thought “PVC” pipe stood for “Penile-Vaginal Coitus” pipe.
Or somebody told them that and forgot to say “Bazinga!”
Two words: blasting cap.
No ready method has been reported for removing a polyvinylchloride (PVC) pipe entrapped on the penis.
Two words: “Dremel Tool.”
“Butane torch”.
Sorry about the henway, WC. Just learned that my hotmail was spam-hacked and sent a bunch of PENIS to a lot of people.
PVC removal.
http://www.plumbingsupply.com/images/pvc-pipe-tubing-cutter.jpg
One word: backhoe.
This is a very small room.
we should henceforth start selecting membership in parliamentary bodies by lottery.
R. A. Lafferty would like to AHEM you.
http://www.plumbingsupply.com/images/pvc-pipe-tubing-cutter.jpg
I have one of these and plenty of torches but I fear they would cause collateral damage. What they used to call in our school lunches “barbecued pennies”.
Note:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101115143010AAQlg0X
removing a polyvinylchloride (PVC) pipe entrapped on the penis.
The answer, obviously, is to fuck another LARGER piece of PVC piping. It worked so well for the fly-swallowing old lady (see also “US invasion of Afghanistan”).
To what? I mean, it’s a piece of valuable PVC piping we’re talking about.
I have one of these and plenty of torches but I fear they would cause collateral damage.
That’s okay, I don’t know if I want a pipe
fitterfucker to breed.http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_acetone_be_used_to_clean_pvc#ixzz1OvRUvI4M
Wonder what D of D was researching……
“Smut Clyde said,”
sir, I am disappoint. I now fear I shall never know the medicinal uses of a trebuchet.
the medicinal uses of a trebuchet.
In homeopathic doses, it is good for falling-rock-related injuries.
PROTIP: Soaking one’s fingers in gin is an effective way to undiscombobulate the fingers which you have just bobulated together with cyanoacrylate adhesive. The proprietary naturse of this trade secret prevents me from supplying further details. The proof is left to the reader as an exercise.
Gin hell, try some Everclear to get that shit off you.
What if it’s just one finger?
In homeopathic doses,
A millitrebuchet? A few drops of trebuchet tincture?
What if it’s just one finger?
Oh geez…..sprayed way too much beer ………..
“Smut Clyde said,”
sir, I am disappoint.”
He’s used to that.
Oh, penis in the pipe. Well if it’s a short pipe, say less than a foot long and the other end is open, you can push the penis out with a stick. If that doesn’t work, just wait and it will fall off. Unless it’s dogs we’re talking about. Then you use a garden hose.
A millitrebuchet? A few drops of trebuchet tincture?
A trebucheton?
Actually, preparations include ballistia, catapulta, and natrum mangonelicum.
ballistia, catapulta, and natrum mangonelicum
[Karnak the Magnificent] Who are Newt Gingrich’s sisters in law? [/Karnak]
HEYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Awfuk. A big problem with being a snooty foodie fag is that when I don’t feel like cooking, all the options are completely unenticing.
So I fried up some lamb bacon (pastured, organic lamb bacon from the marmer’s farket). Some crepes, berries (yeah, frozen YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT BITCH?), omelet with finnes herbes. Savory and sweet crepes. Omelets. Bonus, enough crepe batter to make crepes Suzette, another of those once hoity-toity thangs that deserve a comeback.
Maybe tomorrow I make Liptauer.
I would supply an Everclear link but the iPad is FUCKIMG MY SHIT UP. Spent a while chatting with that guy in the Walgreens, ended up covering his co-pay when they wouldn’t take his check. What a strange and wondrous world we live in. (apologies to WWfor the dangling … Thang.
Hey.
That’s what I had too.Bean burrito.
YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT BITCH?
We’ll assume you started w/ a likwid din-din.
Fixtures:
Maybe tomorrow I make Liptauer.
Lipitor®, you mean?
Had my last fish stix for breakfast, may have to go out for foodstuffs.
I had leftover cha siu so I made szechuan style mu shoo pork w/ straw mushrooms, anaheims, jalapeños, scallion and peas and had it on rice because after yesterdays rice discussion I needed some perfect jasmine rice. Fresh country boules just coming out of the oven now made with some kamut that a crazy friend ground (interesting grain- makes good bread) and I’m going to have some leftover clafouti w/ creme fraiche. While the bread was raisin’ I made chopped liver for a party tomorrow: super un-kosher, no chickin fat, used home rendered pork lard and butter. Haram! Unclean! Mrs. El M insists on calling it paté but it’s chopped liver. Great on fresh bread.
Hey.
That’s what I had too.Bean burrito.
Zombie Ed McMahon
MB, are you suggesting that I need a name change? Don’t wanna offend any zombies .
A millitrebuchet?
A millilitre of buchet.
To find out the proper homeopathic preparation of Onager, I googled “homeopathy + asses”, only to learn that
(a) a lot of people really really dislike homeopaths, and
(2) a lot of homeopaths can’t spell “assess”.
No, no, just honoring Ed!
The zombies will have to stop offending the not un-dead before we worry about their feelings!
insists on calling it paté
NO ORGAN MEATS!!!
And why doesn’t <hr /> work around here? It’d make things easier.
Forgot the daikon. The Szechuan gal that taught me said that scallion, daikon and chilis were the holy trinity of szechuan cooking like celery, onion and pepper are for Cajun.
I be making chicken thighs on a bed of celery, onions, and carrots. Will also add corn (husks on) to the oven to bake for their half hour at 350.
I’m not really hungry right now, but I had the get-up-and-go to get it going.
Plus, I think it all tastes better the next day after it’s had time to sit in the fridge…preferred application of the chicken and veggies is with yogurt and hot sauce on a tortilla.
The corn I like to cut off the cob with a knife and mix with red onions and what have you (oil and vinergar, to name a few of the have-yous) and that way you don’t get all that corn silk in your teeth that needs flossing later.
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Mmm, Wagon Wheels.
Mmm, Wagon Wheels.
You bastard. Wagon wheels were the best pasta of my pasta-filled childhood.
See you and raise, Substance McG.
(These were a regular feature of my school lunch bag back before I went off to collage and had none. Along with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread and a can of juicy sugar.)
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Mmm, Wagon Wheels.
Relevant.
“You bastard. Wagon wheels were the best pasta of my pasta-filled childhood.”
I was gonna say… Canadians are so weird. Thats like some jacked-up moonpie.
Canuck, please!
I need only refer you to my main squeeze, Little Debbie. Note the joy that snack cakes brought to the founders.
Those were High-Quality 2:24 minutes, El Manquécito.
Highly Recommended
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Somebody was doing
somehow
hr
DID YOU KNOW that because I am all Southern and all I only recently lurned about Tastycakes?
The dark thing in the picture is a Moon Pie. This is a wagon wheel
I am all Southern
Terry? Love your work, man.
Banjo ‘Wagon Wheel’ link = good.
I grilled two tenderloins steaks tonight. Plus I grilled some tomatoes. And sautéed some mushies with onion and red wine. And made some garlic toast. And yes it was all delish. Because even sleep-deprived I am JUST THAT GOOD.
“I was making a spud gun in the kitchen, and I slipped! Btw, when your done there, you might want to get the potato out of me too.”
Bean burrito.
La cena esta noche consiste en:
guiso de chayote, con crema, tortillas rellenas con cuajada, gallopinto, fresco de pina (spiked with two oz. Ron Flor de Cana)
I am all passion, all flaky.
Aye, dios mio.
Frijoles.
I need only refer you to my main squeeze, Little Debbie.
My first cousin on my mother’s side, my Aunt Ida’s oldest girl, is called Little Debbie. I thought for many years that the “Little” part was something just stuck onto her real name because, well, because she is so little, only 4’8″. I learned only two years ago that her birth name is, in fact, Little Debbie, the Little being my uncle Dennis’ middle name.
Now I am jealous of Canada, although those are not the mille feuilles of my yout’. (What’s that red stripe* in there?)
Any relation to the wrasslin’ Vachons? (Two of whom are dead too young, I find.)
*Could be a VBR.
Food pr0n? I’ve been subsisting largely on foraged stuff this week… creamed nettles, nettle omelets, nettle “fritters” made with eggs, ricotta and bread crumbs, and rice-stuffed dolmades made with wild grape leaves.
Today, though, I woke up with a wicked sore throat, so I headed to one of my favorite Indian restaurants and fuckin’ gorged myself at the buffet lunch (curry tends to make one feel better when one has respiratory tract issues)… they had two of my favorite dishes, curry goat and okra masala. Friggin’ orgy of mass curry consumption!
Red colouring plus gelatin?
I am all passion, all flaky.
Down here, in God’s country, we call that a Napoleon, mister, and don’t you forget it!
What’s a potfor?
Also, Tastykakes are the best. And you can’t reliably find them in New England.
Taking the lovely daughter on an outing tomorrow.
http://www.eat-vancouver.com/
We were somewhere around the Chicken Ranch on the edge of the desert when the boner pills began to take hold.
Said red stripe not in the real Frenchy ones is why I was asking …
Happy eating! (Sorry you’re stuck w/ a Fud Ntwk. up there too.)
‘Napoleons,” mon cul!
Wow. No wonder they call it Crooked Timber.
organic lamb bacon
such a thing exists? ’tis a wonderful world we live in…..
The dark thing in the picture is a Moon Pie. This is a wagon wheel
stop the wagon wheel hate, our wagon wheels would kick you so called moon pies all over the floor, you haters. lets no repeat the anti raison and chocolate pogrom from last December.
……hey had two of my favorite dishes, curry goat and okra masala. Friggin’ orgy of mass curry consumption!
man after my own heart, felt shitty yesterday, so stuffed my face with chicken labrobad (tangy, north Indian tomato thingy) and saag panner, with garlic nans. All washed down with mango lassy. Feel like a million dollars today….
The whole thing?
TinTin, Republicans don’t have sex, which is why there have been no sex scandals since that RINO, Packwood!
Why do you hate America so?
Friggin’ orgy of mass curry consumption!
Are you trying to curry favor with the restaurant, masala?
“organic lamb bacon”
I would like to see a sheep/pig myself or whatever you call it . . . Shigs, Peeps?
Friggin’ orgy of mass curry consumption!
I’m a fan of the fiery vindaloo, meself. Will completely clear out your nasal/sinus tract.
BTW, and apropos of nothing, there was a discussion over at roy’s joint wherein I noted seeing a Humvee in Atlanta last week which was plastered with an ad for brazilian waxing for the low, low price of $29.99. Said Humvee was being driven by some big burly macho dude and the whole thing struck me as being just…very very wrong. As if said burly macho dude driver was sending a message: “I’m such a macho dude that not only am I driving a Hummer, but I can rip out every hair around your snatch for only $29.99!!!”
Someone else over at roy’s noted that genital waxing is probably not one of those things where you want to go with the lowest bidder, as all that wax goes into a reheater and you want someone competent cleaning out the hair, since it’s going to get re-used. To which I could only ponder: what do they re-use it for? I suppose you could knit it into sweaters or socks, but seems to me like they’d be scratchy and uncomfortable.
what do they re-use it for?
Implantation in the crotches of women who follow the fashion trend of having the hairiest possible groin but whom nature has only given sparse growth.
Chest wigs.
what do they re-use it for?
Human hair that is too short for weaves or wigs gets sold to the food industry to make L-cysteine, mostly used as a dough conditioner but also to create meat like flavors through the maillard reactions. You can wiki it, can’t be arsed, etc.
We need to re-animate the corpse of Charlton Heston so he can deliver this line:
“Wonder Bread is pubic hair!!!”
as all that wax goes into a reheater and you want someone competent cleaning out the hair, since it’s going to get re-used
Well I read that as a warning that the wax was gonna be re-used, revealing the wholesome innocence of my mind compared to Jennifer’s.
Re-using the wax has an ick factor only slightly less than that of re-using the hair.
I mean, really, you want someone spreading wax over your hoo-ha after it’s been on someone else’s?
I mean, really, you want someone spreading wax over your hoo-ha after it’s been on someone else’s?
Personally, I’d be more concerned with finding out at this late date that I had a hoo-ha.
…revealing the wholesome innocence of my mind compared to Jennifer’s.
You can understand why my mom is so proud…
I read it the same way Smut but when it comes to wholesome innocence we’re all in the same boat from which the highest lookout can see the snowy peaks of the distant shores of wholesome innocence.
I see S,N is keepin it classy, even when I’m not here to make jokes that would make a middle schooler cringe. *sniff* I love you guys.
At the risk of ridicule (what, here?) I think the Mustache is on the money with this column:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/08/opinion/08friedman.html
Notable:
To me, this may be the path out of The Big Crayzee we seem caught in. If the idea that “less is more” can gain traction, wouldn’t that ease a great deal of anxiety and greedmongering?
Or maybe my meds just kicked in.
*sniff* I love you guys.
If you really loved us, you wouldn’t smell us before getting sentimental.
If you really loved us, you wouldn’t smell us before getting sentimental.
Yeah, you nosist.
Looch, that’s pretty rich coming from the Mustache of Understanding.
Wake me when he proposes giving up some of his own vast store of stuff, or that of his employer.
~
It’s the smell that she loves, not us.
Looch, that’s pretty rich coming from the Mustache of Understanding.
Fair enough. The meds, they are working too well.
Friedman’s humble abode
It’s the smell that she loves, not us.
You’re saying that we live in an Axe commercial? I’m so very disappointed.
Honestly I’d rather smell B.O. than Axe “You have the stink of douche on you” Body Spray.
“Friedman’s humble abode”
O
M
G
“…stop the wagon wheel hate, our wagon wheels would kick you so called moon pies all over the floor, you haters.”
Honestly, I was okay with the Wagon Wheel company copying the Moon Pie (right down to the shape), but what got my dander up was this:
from Wiki: “Wagon Wheels are a snack food in Australia, Canada, Iran, United Kingdom, Russia and the Republic of Ireland which have a marshmallow centre and are covered in a chocolate flavoured coating.[1] The biscuit itself is round to represent the wheel of a wagon (hence the name).”
IRAN! RUSSIA! So the frikkin Wagon Wheel is a damn Islamo-Commie plot, plain and simple, hiding under the chocolate cloak of our venerated Moon Pie! My Gawd, how could any true patriot even consider chomping down on a W.W.?
And let’s not leave this out: “Hence the name”! what does that mean?, like we had to think of something that was round but not moon pie, so wagon wheel was the most logical choice…..like there is nothing else in the world with a round shape that could be used to name a cookie, only wagon wheel?
Tigris is smart…she is even featured in the Words of Wisdom!
~
Orb Pie™
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nothing else in the world with a round shape that could be used to name a cookie
Nope. That pretty much covers it. Nothing else. You could search high and low and around the world and not find anything else. Never happen. Can’t be done.
Wagon wheel is the ONLY thing…..
“Friedman’s humble abode”
O
M
G
Note To Self: The Mustache Does Not Understand.
Self pwnage:
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/clay-waters/2011/06/09/privileged-nyt-columnist-tom-friedman-calls-people-work-less-own-less-n
“Wagon Wheels are a snack food in Australia, Canada, Iran, United Kingdom, Russia and the Republic of Ireland which have a marshmallow centre and are covered in a chocolate flavoured coating.”
I dont believe it. Im sure I would have seen pictures if even one of those countries really had marshmallow centers.
“Marshmallow” is one of the 73 Inuit words for snow.
Yeah, Inuit.
When I was growing up on the East Coast, those Moon-Pie/Wagon-Wheel things were called “Scooter Pies”.
Growing up in the northernish part of the mid-Atlantic states I wondered what the fuck a “moon pie” was. I assumed it was similar to a scooter pie but I did not know for sure until I encountered an actual moon pie on a family trip down south. I didn’t particularly care for such things anyway.
Now a Mallo cup, that’s the thing.
I didn’t particularly care for such things anyway.
That’s probly ’cause you didn’t eat it with an RC Cola. Required. Tastes better than Coca Cola.
See you and raise, Substance McG.
damn your eyes all of you! with your pasta and moonpies and ho-hos! as of this morning i have lost 16 lbs…i am diabetic and have quit smoking for 3 fucking weeks…are you all trying to kill me!?!?!?
AND MALLOCUPS AND SODAS…STOP IT!!!
Little Debbie. Note the joy that snack cakes brought to the founders.
if you are talking about the founding fathers, that would be dolly madison…
New sadly post, btw.
~